#or just a woman but at that point it's people seeing the egg before the egg does wrt girl Wren

[venacoeurva]

Local DINKs are sick of this shit (and so am I who has siphoned my annoyance into this) and they pull no punches--especially Wren once he gets alcohol in him

Wren also isn't allowed to make the "I can't have kids, they give me heartburn" joke because werewolf and they're kind of worried someone will take it entirely too literally

Also if the text is too small to read or Tumblr eats the quality, it's in the image description

-Please do not reupload/edit/use-

[stromblessed]

Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hello! First i loved the reader + cannibal works you did.

Second, you could write small or big idk pieces of reader and him having their bond and seeing others react to it. It would be funny to see some of them go "excusme this not high blood claimed CANNIBAL?"

And Cannibal just there like "its my human, shut up before i eat you"

Also, HC that Cannibal would totally take the reader to a different place since he finds the rest of humans so 🙄🙄🙄🙄 and 100% sure he was touched when reader bowed to him :,)

Cannibal will always be my favourite dragon, Balerion coming a close second but come on! A dragon who never had a rider cuz no one was worthy?! Imagine the history you’d make when claiming this absolute unit!

You wouldn’t say that you claimed Cannibal like most people have assumed, if anything you’d describe what you and the behemoth mad was more of a connection, a bond that went deeper then that of dragon and rider. It was rather difficult thing to explain to people because the only people who would understand had a hard time themselves coming to terms with the fact that someone without a single trace of Valyrian blood in their body had accomplished what many could not; claim Cannibal.

You truly believed that everyone had the ability to be a dragon rider but the unfortunate reality was that half of them ever would was incredibly rare. So for those that were dragon riders, it was the highest honour imaginable and you were now one of them!

Your bond with Cannibal was unlike any other, it was almost as if this spark, this fire, connecting the two of you to a point where you didn’t know when you began and where Cannibal ended. You could sense Cannibal’s distrust for all humans, especially those who had Valyrian blood running through their veins no matter how small it may be, he hated them all as equally as he did the other humans. With you however Cannibal harboured a deep possessiveness over you. You were his rider after all and he didn’t like it when people like Aemond, Daemond or Rhaenyra got anywhere within distance of you and would blow fire at them without an ounce of hesitation.

‘Cannibal.’ You hissed after Cannibal tried to roast Rhaenyra alive for merely touching your arm in congratulations. The dragon only kept his piercing green eyes on the silver haired woman in red next to you, looking at her with hostility and contempt.

‘It is..quite alright my dear.’ Rhaenyra tried to console you but the daggers your dragon was driving into her back was enough for her to take a step back, she had the blood of the dragon and therefore didn’t fear them but Cannibal was a dragon of unpredictability and therefore must be treated with caution. ‘No harm done.’ She flashes you a smile before departing back to the castle. You sighed before looking at your behemoth of a dragon whose eyes dilated upon seeing you finally pay attention to him, his tail wagging slightly behind him.

‘You are more than your worth sometimes.’ You murmur as you scratched his head before swiftly mounting him as he flew you both off of DragonStone and elsewhere where you wouldn’t be disturbed, but you couldn’t help but thank moments like those that were just for yourself and your dragon as you do tend to get tired of getting asked the same shit ten times over. Yet you swore you had claimed an antisocial cat instead of a dragon whose whole reputation was eating dragons, humans and dragon eggs alike. This was merely one example of how possessive Cannibal got, it was far worse when it was a man like Aemond, then that’s when Cannibal became far more hostile than usual.

For the moment the dragon saw the one eyed prince approach you, his tail immediately shielded you from view while roaring at the prince to fuck off back to his fossil of a dragon, huffing smoke from his nostrils and baring his teeth. ‘I’m going to call you Cannibal the cat if you keep this up.’ You told the dragon as you moved from behind his tail to greet Aemond, who was looking at Cannibal with an unreadable expression. ‘Fascinating.’ He muttered softly as he looked at you.

‘What is?’ You asked.

‘The fact that the first person to ever claim Cannibal is someone with no Valyrian blood nor ancestry to speak of.’ Aemond replied and you couldn’t help but scowl at this, feeling as though this was meant to be some sort of dig at you, but then again the joke was on him because he wasn’t the only one to ride with a dragon of legend anymore.

‘Can you blame me? I don’t rest dragons like their weapons to be used to threaten people in bending the knee.’ You spat back. ‘Sounds to me like you are compensating for the fact that you would’ve been viewed just like any other house in Westeros had it not been for the very Dragons you ride, and yet here you are, treating them as though their disposable while pondering why it maybe that their dying out.’ You added, staring Aemond down as his jaw twitched, you had struck a nerve but all you did in response to that was shrug your shoulders. ‘Sounds a bit hypocritical dont you think my prince?’

‘You know nothing of the word.’ Aemond said lowly as he stepped towards you, only to be greeted by Cannibal’s shadow looming over you both, lowering his head to glare at Aemond from behind you while you looked directly at the prince; unbothered and calm by the whole thing.

‘I wouldn’t but I’m sure your bloodline is more familiar with the misuse and treatment of Dragons than I am.’ You said, feeling no fear with Cannibal having your back, literally, as you looked back at your companion with a smile. ‘Let’s us go somewhere else Cannibal, I fear we may have overstayed our welcome.’ Cannibal only made a sound akin to that of purring and taking that as your que to bid Aemond farewell and mounted Cannibal once more and left.

You had Cannibal’s back and you knew he had yours as well and that’s what you prided your connection on, never had you ever known a more peaceful nights sleep, not until Cannibal draped a protective wing over you to keep you warm during those nights where you just wanted to stay beside your dragon as you cuddled into his warm scaly belly. Your heart and his were one and you feared that without Cannibal, you’d loose apart of yourself forever and you’d treasure every moment you had with your dragon, no matter what may come for either of you in the future.

Now for some character reactions;

Aegon shits himself. Enough said. He will not go near you especially if Cannibal was constantly on the verge of wanting to eat him whole.

He doesn’t care of how you claimed him like others would, he’s terrified of Cannibal and doesn’t want to stay for long enough than he had to, he’s not about that life despite the family he’s reluctantly born into.

Aemond on the other hand was intrigued on how you managed to do such a thing, it was feet unheard of and yet you did it and without being eaten on top of that.

He also would view this as something that was predestined by fate or something like that. You and him being the riders of the largest dragons left alive in Westeros, imagine the destructive force the pair of you would be if you were to be wed to one another. It’s a thought that hasn’t left his mind since the day you claimed Cannibal and while the bitterness of your words stung him, that didn’t mean he wasn’t about to put an end to his dreams of you and him flying together on Vhagar and Cannibal in happy union.

He’s delusional but a dangerous kind, so Cannibal is always on high alert with him.

Otto would try pull out all the stops and arrange a marriage between you and Aemond, feeding into his grandsons dangerous delusions, claiming that you were only this way to see whether or not he would love you at your most stubborn. Besides what’s greater than having one large dragon on your side? Two large dragons!

So Otto doesn’t care about how you claimed cannibal but only the benefits for the greens of you doing so would be enough to have Rhaenyra’s forced yield and pledge for Aegon or die fighting, either way works out for the greens in the end but all he needed to do was get you with Aemond.

Rhaenyra found you claiming Cannibal to be a once in a life time miracle as it wasn’t often that a dragon was claimed by someone who wasn’t a descent of Old Valyria. For you had to be truly something for a dragon as stubborn and dangerous as Cannibal to agree to be yours and knows of the target that you have placed on your back by doing so.

To put it simply, she wants you on her side of the war when the time comes as a last resort should she need you in her most dire of times. You and Cannibal had a connection unlike any other she has ever seen and that makes you an essential asset that everyone will want. She wanted to get to you before the greens do and will try her hardest but it would take some time considering how on guard Cannibal is to anyone who wasn’t you.

He knew what she was doing but with time she hoped that you would get Cannibal to understand because if she nor the greens couldn’t get to you, then there would be another level of uncertainty in knowing that a nomad dragon rider and their dragon were taking to the skies with leisure. You and Cannibal were a lot more dangerous than you may think and that’s what scared her the most; you not understand the power you now hold with cannibal at your beck and call.

Jacaerys thought that someone who wasn’t of Valyrian decent couldn’t claim a dragon nearly as successfully as those of Valyrian descent could. However you managed to defy all expectations that were previously set and proven that the impossible could be possible through the right circumstances.

He had so many questions on how you did it but Cannibal would always stop him and take you away before he could. He had read stories about cannibal and knew better then to hop on Vermax and chase after you, and so he would just allow his mind to ponder on how it was that you managed to claim Cannibal without being consumed.

He too feared the eyes that you have no attracted to yourself by doing such a thing and would try his best to protect you no matter what but Cannibal was proving it very difficult to get close to you without fire being out at him. However Jace was determined to make sure that no harm came to you, even if he had to do so from afar.

[juniepops]

I’m honestly at a point of like . Fuck it I do not care if people make egg jokes I do not care if people say any feminine guy should be a woman. People are under 100000tons of constant crushing pressure to conform to the gender society tells them to under threat of all kinds of punishment. The treatment a feminine guy gets from everyone in his life trying to force him to be more masculine is magnitudes worse than if a trans woman happens to see him and be like “you’re kinda girly, what if you’re a girl” or god forbid “haha hey you remind me of myself before I transitioned”. It is just Not a real problem in the real world.

Plus as other people have pointed out there have been entire swathes of this site’s meme history with prominent jokes like “every Weird Girl who pretended to be a wolf and made yard potions is transmasc now” and nobody ever threw a fit over forcing transgender identity on others or Whatever . So why is it so evil and cruel when transfeminine people do it

[momolady]

The Five Paralangua: All Parts

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♥ Female Reader x Five Monsters (cis and nonbinary) Polyamory ♥ Why Choose ♥ One Woman ♥ Multiple Men ♥

♥Word count -15,575♥

(Ya'll broke me down. This is all four parts, no links, no tricks. Enjoy!)

One:

If it’s not the rooster who wakes me up, it will be one of the Golden Girls. Lately, I’ve been able to squeak in some extra sleep during the mornings, but today the Golden Girls aren’t having it. They’re causing a fuss in the yard, and as I roll over towards my window I can see Sophia glaring inside at me.

“Hold your horses, girls!” I fussed as I stepped out of bed. “I’m getting up!”

They’re making a racket out there, and I have to wonder if old lady Murphy’s mastiff has come sniffing around the fence again. He doesn’t do anything, he just seems to have a crush on my girls. Which they don’t take as kindly to.

By the time I’m dressed and ready, the Golden Girls have calmed down. Their mooing has stopped, and the rooster has decided to make the alarm now.

“What’s up with all of you?” I called out, holding the feeding bucket. “You were making such a fuss! I wouldn’t be surprised if I got a noise complaint from town.” I was walking to the storage shed when I noticed a strange print in the mud. It wasn’t one of the Golden Girls, and it certainly wasn’t one of the chickens or sheep. It was large, massive really, and it reminded me of a scene from that old dinosaur movie.

“What on earth?” I muttered to myself. I was studying it closely when Rose started sniffing around my head and nudging the bucket with her foot.

“Alright, alright,” I huffed. “I’ll get your breakfast.” The girls had all the hay and grass they could ask for, but that morning offering of grains was not to be delayed at any cost. 

I was hefting scoops of it into their troughs when I heard the phone ringing from inside the house. I quickly finished off the feeding, tossing some along the ground for the chickens as I raced inside.

I was breathless when I grabbed the phone, so the caller got an earful of heavy breathing before I answered. “Riley Farms, we’re out of eggs,” I said.

“Stella?”

I walked to the fridge to get myself a drink. “Yes? Who is it?”

“This is Alice Dunlop from the festival planning committee.” She sounded quite meek as she said this. Usually the festival committee members were a bit hoity toity. 

“It’s about the chosen for this year's festival.”

“I plan to attend,” I huffed. “I told Mrs. Greenhill I already was fulfilling my role as chosen.” I took out the orange juice then went in search of a cup. I was excited to attend this year’s festival. A few years ago, I would have skipped out too, but once I moved back home, it became a north star for me. Some people found being one of the chosen for the Festival of Ash to be too daunting or too frightening. The Paralangua were a site to behold, depending on how you looked at them of course. Living in Charcourt, you got your chance to spy them occasionally. They didn’t come into town but maybe once or twice a year, and if you did see one it was probably one of the elders. But they were monstrous, pale, clay creatures, who I always found a fascination with.

“Is that why you’re calling? Did she forget to fill out the paper again?” Mrs. Greenhill loved her chardonnay.

“No, she did.” Her voice quivered in a strange way. “That’s the thing, Stella, you’re the only one who has confirmed.”

I hesitated reaching for a cup and stood still. “You mean out of the five chosen for this year-”

“You’re going solo,” Alice stated plainly and nervously. 

Has this ever happened at the Festival of Ash before? One or two have certainly not shown up each year. But four?

“We’re going to have a meeting with some of the elders. They want you to attend if that's possible at all. Just to discuss what could possibly end up happening at this year’s ceremony.”

“They still want to go through with it?” I gasped. “Even if I’m the only one there? What would be the point?”

“There’s still five of the parlangua attending.” Of course, they never missed a festival. But still, this didn’t seem like the kind of ceremony worth having. Five on one!

Oh my god, five on one? Is that even possible?

“Stella?” Alice said gently, pulling me from my thoughts.

I gasped. “Oh, yes! I can attend.”

She sighed with relief. “Good. That’s good.”

That made me wonder if there was something going on behind the scenes. It would also explain the dinosaur sized footprint left in my yard. Someone was trying to sneak a peek.

“It’s going to be this evening, around six. We’ll be providing a meal for the inconvenience.” I heard papers shuffling and the sound of a door opening. “We’ll see you then.”

“I’ll be there, thanks for letting me know.” I hung up the phone then stood there, running my tongue along the edge of my teeth.

Five on one, that certainly would be a big family. I sat back down at the table, continuing to think. Was it even possible to hold the traditional ceremony as it was this way? After all it was all a huge chase in the labyrinth below the town. A show of how mates are fated together despite the challenges the labyrinth put between them.

“Me and five parlangua,” I muttered. I started growing a bit warm under the collar. “Me and five,” I whispered again. Five big, strong, handsome paralangua. Their pale scales, their strong arms, their big hands. Oh my god, ten giant hands touching me.

The sound of the Golden Girls fussing again snapped me out of my thoughts. “Stop thinking like one of those romance novels.” I finally got a glass and poured myself a drink. “You have no idea what the council is going to talk about at this meeting. They may be canceling the ceremony. Who knows?” I drank, still fixated a touch on those ten hands.

“Get ahold of yourself, Stella,” I said loudly then chugged down my orange juice. “You still have some work to do!”

I made a quick breakfast before going back out onto the farm. Ten hands, would be nice around to take care of things. The Broken Cart Grange had been in my family for generations, and now, it was only down to me. Lonesome, little old, me. After my parents died I rented the place out for a long time, until Troy came into my life.

Ugh, Troy.

I went around the chicken coops, checking for eggs, and once again, I saw one of the dinosaur sized footprints from before.

“I wonder if they’re spying on me,” I muttered to the chickens around me. “That’s usually part of the tradition you know.”

One of my chickens stares at me with a blank face then tilts her head.

“Oh yes! It’s not supposed to happen, but curious future mates will be curious future mates.” I looked out the window of the coop to the long road leading from the farm towards the main road into Charcourt. “I wonder if paralangua children come out as eggs,” I chuckled to myself as I found some eggs tucked away. I shuddered, and went on working.

That evening I drove to the council building. It was on the cusp of Charcourt and the paralangua territory, going down through the swampy area. The tall twisted trees covered any sort of sunlight, creating shadows and shapes along the path that tricked the eye and made the senses heighten.

I came upon the old bridge that crossed over the council building. It was over a tall embankment with a thick, speeding river underneath. It was told that the paralangua used this river to hide back in the old days and many lost souls could be found at the bottom.

“They sure do have the atmosphere right,” I mumbled under my breath before driving over.

I’m not sure when the council building had been built, but it was one of the newer structures compared to the Charcourt Castle where the Festival of Ash ceremony ended. I was coming upon the door when a laugh stopped me dead in my tracks.

“Well, aren’t you a tall sight for short eyes,” a parlangua came out from around the corner. This was my first time seeing one so close. I’d caught some in the distance before and at the festivals, but this one was so close I could touch them.

I then registered what he had said. “What?”

He cleared his throat. “I said, tall sight for-” he stopped, seeming to take in what he said as well. “I was remarking at how nice and tall you-” He stopped again and cleared his throat. “Let me get to the door for you.” He opened the door for me and I walked in with him close behind.

“Are you here for the meeting?” He asked.

I nodded, still taking him in. He was tall, powerful, I mean, all paralangua are. That’s nothing new. He had remarkable hind quarters, and thick strong legs, along with a pooch to his belly. 

“I’m uh…I guess the solo act for the ceremony this year.” I laughed, but the paralangua went stiff and his eyes widened. His tail flicked out and with a slight turn of his head he gazed down at me, a sudden nervousness to his stance.

I licked my lips out of nerves. “Wh-which way is the meeting.”

“So you’re Stella.” He rubbed at his neck. 

“Ah, so you’ve heard of me then?” I tried to joke around, but really I was on pins and needles. I swallowed and shrugged. “I guess they’re going to try and move up a set of chosen. That’s my guess anyways. It’s fine if I have to skip.”

The paralangua still seemed nervous. “I don’t think that’s what’s happening,” he murmured.” My name is Priapus, by the way.” He held out his hand. “My friends call me Reap.”

That big hand enveloped mine, the scales were smooth and cool. They almost felt silky on the palm, a little more textured on the backside. I liked it. Ten of them!  “Nice to meet you.” I said, shaking out my ridiculous thoughts.

He seemed anxious for a second. “I am one of the five paralangua for the ceremony.”

This big boy? I thought out of shock. This slab of big, hulking, white scales was one of the fellow members of the ceremony? A chosen like me?

“Oh,” was all I could manage to squeak out.

Reap pressed his mouth together in a firm line. “Not exactly the way we are supposed to meet, I know.”

“Yeah, well, strange circumstances all around.” You motioned down the hall. “Is this the way towards the meeting?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Reap walked with me down the hallway, keeping a couple of steps behind me. “A bit strange isn’t it?”

I glanced over my shoulder at him. “Which part?”

He chuckled. “I guess everything. I don’t think there’s been a no show like this since one of the first ceremonies. At least, that’s what I’ve been told. One of the other chosen paralangua called us a cursed group,” he forced a laugh. “I don’t know. Maybe we are. Maybe we aren’t.”

I held back so me and Reap walked side by side. “Maybe I’m just lucky!”

“Huh?”

I shook my head and looked at an open door. A girl around my age stepped out then waved us both in. “Good, you made it!” She waved me into the room then gave Reap a strange, almost scolding look before scurrying in and motioning to a table loaded with food. “Go ahead and make yourself a plate. I’m Alice, and apparently I’ll be handling this meeting,” she said with a chip on her shoulder.

“Are the council not coming?” Reap asked.

Alice held up a recording device and laid it down onto the table. “Here’s your council.” She sighed and shook her head. “They say there’s other festival work that needs their attention as well. But I’d say they’re just-” She shook her head and stopped herself from saying something she’d regret. “Just waiting on the others so I can read out the email I was sent.”

“It’s just an email?” Reap said in disbelief. He scoffed and slapped his arms against his sides. “I thought this was important?”

“Oh, but it is,” Alice said sarcastically. She then sighed and shrugged. “It is what it is. We’re lucky they’re taking their time, rather than springing it on everyone the night of the ceremony.”

I was surprised. I thought the council was this well oiled and highly traditional machine that was perfectly ready for any circumstance. But this sounded like a bunch of teenagers running a club!

Alice gave me a knowing smile. “Not to worry. I’m taking care of this. Not going to scare you with five giant men in one night.” We both looked at each other for a moment, both of us drawing lines from what she said. “This is my first big project, I’m a bit nervous,” she murmured.

I smiled. “It’s okay.”

Reap was poking at food on the table, eating small bites and chewing them slowly. He seemed distant, lost in thought. I hope he wasn’t disappointed with what was being offered. Not the food, but me, I mean.

A few minutes later two more paralangua enter the room, one is very tall with a lithe frame, the other is a tad shorter and stockier. 

“Solomon, Venus,” Alice greeted them. “Why don’t you both go ahead and get something to eat.”

“Where are the robes?” The stockier one asked.

Alice chuckled. “I’m the only council member tonight, Venus.”

Venus scoffed, his lip curling up over his sharp teeth. “Figures. I’ll bet you anything those idiots are off pre-gaming.”

“Now, now, Venus,” the lithe paralangua said. His eyes rose up, looking at me in a way that could have melted me into a giggling puddle. “We have a guest here. Remember your manners.”

“I ain’t a kid!” Venus huffed and stormed over to the food.

The lithe paralngua came over towards me. I can’t describe just how elegantly he moved, how beautiful he was. There was an elegance to his face, a sharp masculinity that was as fine as porcelain. 

“You must be Stella,” he said gently. “It’s very nice to meet you. My name is Solomon.”

My mouth had gotten very dry, and it was hard to swallow the cornbread in my mouth. I covered my lips with a napkin and nodded. “Sorry, was eating.”

Solomon had a soft smile upon his face. “My bad.” He looked around the room. “Shame we had to meet this way. The labyrinth is so much more…atmospheric.”

I had a feeling he had another word in mind, but toned it down due to the situation. I wiped my mouth once the food was swallowed. “It could be worse.”

He nodded, a serious glint in his eye. “That could be said for anything.”

Alice was checking her watch and she got a scowl on her face. “Do any of you know where Chandra and Eros are?” 

“Afraid not,” Reap answered.

Solomon just shook his head.

Venus was chewing, but he spoke up anyway. “Somewhere jacking off.”

“Venus!” Alice snapped and stormed over towards the door to look out.

I noticed Venus was giving me looks, strange glances that last a second too long so I would catch him each time.

“Don’t mind Venus. He doesn’t like letting his nerves show,” Solomon replied. “I would say he and Reap are the shyest of the lot.” He then glanced towards the door. “The other two who have yet to arrive are far from.”

“What are you?” I asked.

Solomon smirked. “I prefer to be quiet.”

I smiled back at him, the unease that had been bothering me since this morning was slowly melting away. Somehow, putting faces to these ten hands was helping.

“So, what do you do?” Venus spoke up, causing me to jerk in his direction. Reap was standing behind him, a worried expression on his face.

“I have a farm,” I answered simply.

Venus had a piece of food in each hand. Despite his cranky expression, he did look very cute. “What kind?”

“Right now it’s just me, so I have just a few animals.”

Venus took a few steps towards me. “Like chickens?”

I wasn't sure what his tone was. He sounded both tense and curious. “Chickens, a few sheep, two goats, four cows I call the Golden Girls.”

Venus’ eyes lit up. “I love that show.”

I was about to offer to show him pictures when Alice came back in, two more paralangua dragged behind her. One was wearing a pearl necklace around his thick neck, the other was yawning and had painted nails. Or well, claws I guess.

“I was trying to wake him up,” the necklace wearing one said.

“I told you no one would be here?” The yawning one continued to yawn. He blinked his eyes, revealing them to be a bright pink.

Alice had a look upon her face. “It doesn’t matter. I still have some things to go over with all of you, Chandra.”

Chandra smirked, his pink eyes lighting up as Alice fussed at him. He reached for the table, picking up the recorder. “Could this meeting have been an email?”

“It is an email,” Reap replied. 

Chandra smirked, but the other yanked the recorder from his hand. “Just because the council does it doesn’t mean you have to.”

“Careful there, Eros!” Chandra snapped. He then looked across the table at me and his pink eyes lit up. “Well, hello there.” He licked his teeth in a seductive way. “Is this our wifey?”

“Ew, don’t say wifey,” Eros scoffed. “Her name is Stella. A star,” his voice became dreamy. “And she deserves to be treated as such.”

I have so many feelings right now, I’m pretty sure I’m just blank. 

“Everyone, sit down!” Alice snapped.

Chandra hissed through his teeth. “I bet you're fun. Too bad you’re not part of-”

Alice shook her head at him and Chandra shut his mouth, “Good, now that we’re all here, we can start this.” She moved towards the table, taking a head seat at the table and laying out a folder.

The room quieted more than it already had, and the paralangua were taking seats around the table. There was definitely a tension in the air that floated about the whole room. Despite the situation most of the tension seemed to be resting with poor Alice at the head. Left to do the dirty work of her superiors she was a lot more composed than I would be given the situation.

“Alright, so I am sure we’re all aware of the situation,” Alice spoke up. She was trying to sound in control, but there was a slight warble to her voice. “The other chosen haven’t returned home to Charcourt, leaving only one of the five to take the ceremony. Which is an unfortunate occurrence. The council, in their infinite wisdom,” she said with a roll of her eyes, “have left me a message which will hopefully clear things up.”

Pink-eyed Chandra raised his hand and Alice scoffed. “Yes, what is it?”

Chandra lowered his hand and leaned forward. “I don’t agree with the council.”

“She hasn’t said what the council has decided.” Solomon replied with a cool even tone. “How can you disagree already?”

“Because the council is full of out of touch misers,” Chandra waved his hand in the air. “I don’t doubt for a second they’re going to hurt her feelings.”

Eros perked up. “Whose feelings?”

“Hers.” Chandra pointed at me. “Why punish the good one of the bunch because the other four didn’t want to shirk up to their responsibilities?”

I was once again the center of attention and I wasn’t sure I liked that yet. “Well let's see what the council does say before we start jumping off cliffs.” I swallowed down the lump in my throat. “No reason to get angry just yet.”

“I heard rumors they were allowing volunteers to join up,” Venus grunted.

Reap jerked and looked frightened at the idea. “Volunteers?” 

“Stop it now,” Alice called out. “Why are you rumor mongering when I am trying to give you the truth?” She huffed and snapped the paper out before her. “If you all don’t mind.” Her eyes glanced down. “As a reward for her loyalty to Charcourt and the traditions of the Festival of Ash, Ms. Stella Riley will be allowed to keep all five of the intended paralangua grooms, or choose the ones she feels are deserving. Despite the lack of chosen and spectacle for the ceremony, it will continue as planned. The labyrinth will be opened, but by all means, the end results will be decided by Ms. Stella Riley, rather than the usual chase the labyrinth provides.” Alice looked up from the printed email and I was for sure the center of attention now and forever.

I sat still, afraid to look at anyone in the room.

“Does that suffice?” Alice asked.

There was quiet, and with the quiet there was more tension and unease. A few beads of sweat were gathering at the nape of my neck and I knew I needed to say something, but I couldn’t think of anything at all except those ten damn hands again.

Solomon turned to me, placing his hand upon my arm in a gentle fashion. “What do you think, Stella? Are you okay with this?”

“I suppose.” I murmured and slowly looked around the room. “I’m just one person though. I’m not sure if I can handle-” I saw their eyes, all of them looking at me. There was an intensity, although not one of malice or even unease. Dare I even think they were aroused by the prospect?

Ten hands. Ten hands!

“I’d say you’re in a very lucky spot,” Chandra spoke up. “Five grooms, ten hands, what an easy life you’ll have from here on out.”

He said it, I thought to myself.

“But is it fair to the rest of us to have to share?” Venus snapped. He didn’t sound angry like he had before, instead he sounded concerned painted as irritation. “It’s easy to pick a favorite. Why should she be any different. Are we supposed to make a chore wheel of who gets time with her?”

“As if all the chosens of the past haven’t lived in polyamorous pods,” Eros replied with a sultry tone. “It’s not uncommon, hell, it’s practically the natural order of things. I remember my family growing up and how they all lived together as a unit.” He glanced across at Venus with a smirk. “Like we haven’t already-”

“Hush,” Venus hissed. “My point remains. That was a whole group of chosen. This is a singular chosen.”

“She seems capable,” Chandra replied. He then glanced to Reap who had been quiet this whole time. “Doesn’t she, Reap?”

Reap looked up nervously. “It’s her decision on who to keep. I say we leave it up to her and the ceremony.”

“But how does she do that?” Solomon asked. “If the usual labyrinth method isn’t to be the norm this year, then maybe we should figure out what to do instead.”

“I don’t think I’d have the heart to pick and choose like that,” I murmured. “You all seem very nice. At least from first impressions.”

There was quiet again and I was trying to find my voice to speak up. “I-” I took a breath to calm myself. “I’ve always wanted a big family. I used to but everyone is either gone or passed. It’s just me in that giant farmhouse ever since I moved back. And all I’ve ever wanted was a family, I’ve always wanted lots of kids.”

“Five grooms gives you a good chance,” Eros teased.

I smiled shyly. “I don’t mind the five of you, but if there is one of you who feels it isn’t what you wanted, I understand that as well.”

“The farm is lovely,” Reap replied, unintentionally giving away the fact he was the one who left the prints in the mud.

“It’s untraditional, that’s for certain,” Solomon replied. “But I think it’s the best option for all of us.”

Reap tentatively leaned forward. “Maybe we should give her a chance to get to know us. You know. Visit her a little before the ceremony.”

“That’s against the rules,” Venus snipped.

“Everyone does it every year though,” Chandra scoffed. “I think they’d over look it for us if they do it every year.”

“I believe they would, yes,” Alice interjected. 

Reap turned to look at me, his gaze gentle and his smile slightly returned. “Would you be alright with that, Stella?”

A tingle went down my spine and I took a deep breath. “Sure, just be aware of my animals. That’s all I ask.”

Alice sighed in relief. “Well, if that settles that, then that’s the end of the meeting.” She crumpled up the printed out email and tossed it towards the nearest trash can. “I will see you all again at the ceremony. Stella, if you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me. You can call at any time.” She gathered her things and left, leaving me and my five grooms alone in the conference room.

“Well, that was interesting.” Solomon stood up from the table. He looked back at the food spread out on the table behind us. “Do you think she remembered this is here?”

“We can finish it off, can’t we Venus?” Chandra jabbed.

Venus just glared at him.

“Maybe now would be a good time to set up a schedule between us and Stella before the ceremony. We should have enough time for each of us,” Reap spoke up.

“Schedules aren’t romantic,” Eros sighed. 

“What, and just show up randomly to her place? She works, you know?” Venus snipped at him.

“I don’t mind, really. I’m usually alone on the farm anyways,” I murmured. All eyes were on me again. “I don’t mind visits.”

There was a hush between the five of them.

“You’ve got enough to deal with,” Solomon said sternly, mainly for the rest of them. “We can work out a schedule between us, all you have to do is be your charming self.”

I smiled shyly. “I can do that.” I wasn’t sure what to expect from all this, and although I was excited by the prospect, I was trying to keep my expectations low. I had five chances, I wasn’t going to waste a single one of them. Lithe stoic Solomon. Flirty, ethereal Chandra. Shy and sweet Priapus, aka Reap. Venus, who was hot headed but vulnerable. And lastly, lovely and romantic Eros. I didn’t really have to decide, they were all mine for taking if I wanted. That was nerve wracking alone, but I was deeply excited. 

Two:

I noticed looks at the store while I was getting some supplies. Usually, the farming supply store was one of those places people paid no mind. Everyone was busy with their own lives, business, and animals. But today I could tell people were paying that mind. I suppose word had gotten out that Stella Riley was the only chosen this year. I quickly checked out, never one to enjoy that sort of limelight upon me. Why I was one of the chosen, I’ll never quite understand.

Once I got home I simply sat in the truck. My hands slipped from the steering wheel and I leaned back against the old seat and let out a heavy sigh.

“Oh boy.” I opened my eyes, staring up at the duct tape that patched up the ceiling. “What am I doing?” I patted my cheeks. “Everyone knows. What was I thinking?” I yelled out loud. I grabbed hold of the steering wheel again, thinking I should drive back to the headquarters and ask someone, anyone, if I was losing my mind agreeing to this nonsense.

Instead, I got out of the truck and went to the back. “You got greedy. What would Grandma say?” I grumbled under my breath. “Stella Riley, you can’t put both hands in the cookie jar!” I said mimicking her. I pulled down the tailgate and started to yank out the chicken feed. 

“Let me help you with that.” 

Every hair on my body bristled with anticipation. I looked up, seeing Solomon approaching from the barn. He must have been waiting.

Oh God! My first meeting, or well, my first one on one session with them. I stood erect as he approached, unsure exactly what to say. Did he hear me yell in the truck? Oh God! What am I supposed to do? Wait, he asked me a question. Say something, Stella! Say anything!

“I’ve got it, it’s okay.” I had a nervous lilt to my voice. “I’m used to it.”

Solomon came up, taking the bag of feed from me. “I’m sure you are. But what’s the harm in accepting a little help?”

I smiled, fidgeting for a second. “I keep it over here.” I motioned towards the barn, leading him towards the backdoors. Already the Golden Girls were gathering at the entrance to watch. They were entranced by Solomon, which I don’t blame them. He was tall and lithe compared to other paralangua, which gave him an almost ethereal appearance. 

“There we are,” he murmured as he set the bag down.

“Thank you.” I tried to smooth down my hair. I hadn’t been expecting one of them so soon. I figured I had at least until this evening. I was wearing my old overalls and boots, I didn’t look quite the part of a girl expecting a suitor.

Solomon was luckily looking around the barn. “It’s nice here.”

“Family heirloom, I suppose.” I chuckled and my anxiety was apparent in my voice cracking. “Uhm-so you’re my first.”

Solomon looked back at me, a slight smile came to his face. “I was quite lucky to win that draw.”

“A draw?” I asked, leading him back towards the house.

“Well, more like several games of rock, paper, scissors,” he shrugged. “It was the only way we could convince Venus it was fair.” He smiled and shook his head.  “We were going to do it alphabetically, but Venus argued that put him at the end.���

I smiled. “I could tell he was nervous at the meeting though.”

Solomon sighed. “He does like to put on his bravado. He’s younger and smaller, so he feels like he needs to…act in order to be seen. When really, I think Venus just needs to be himself to get noticed. Then again, I’m the oldest, and I know ‘be yourself’ is the oldest advice in the book.”

“I remember my Grandpa giving me that advice when I was a kid,” I murmured. I could even picture him sitting at the kitchen table, leaning forward to me as I cried into the glass bottle coke he bought me at the general store. “I hated it. So, I can see where Venus’ mind could possibly be.”

Solomon nodded. “Youth and age have their pros and cons.”

I chuckled, matching Solomon’s wise smile. I opened the door and we walked into the kitchen. “Would you like anything?” I asked. “Tea? Coffee?”

Solomon’s eyes went around the room, there was a softness to his gaze. His large hand came down on the back of a chair at the table. “This really is a picturesque place,” he murmured. “Look at all the old tins.” He motioned towards the little shelf that ran all the way around the edge of the cabinets and kitchen itself. 

My eyes went around the room and brought a nostalgic smile to my face. “My grandmother collected them.”

“Generations of things,” he murmured. Solomon then looked back at me and his smile brightened. “I love that.”

My cheeks burned and I quickly turned away. “I also have some sparkling water in the fridge.”

Solomon grunted as he sat down at the table. His tail curled up under the chair then hung over one of the rungs. “I wouldn’t mind a cup of tea if it’s not too much trouble. Or does that make me sound too old?” He laughed.

“Not at all!” I reached for the kettle on the stove and took it over to the sink. I was filling it with water when Solomon came and stood beside me, looking out the large picture window over the sink. “I enjoy tea more and more these days to relax. Coffee to work. Tea to relax.”

“Tea can have just as much caffeine as coffee you know?” He teased.

“Herbal,” I corrected. “I love a good peppermint.”

Solomon nodded. “I am partial to a sleepy time.” He leaned against the table, watching me as I moved about the kitchen. His gaze made me more aware of my body and movements. It was slightly nerve wracking, but also made me want to impress him.

“You’re quite brave to take on all of us,” he murmured suddenly. “I was instantly impressed with you.”

Holy shit did he read my mind? Did he know what I was trying to do while I gracefully turned on the stove and set the kettle upon the eye?

“I wouldn’t say brave. I actually feel a bit selfish.” I glanced up at him, taking in his handsome profile and gleaming eyes. My heart pounded. “I’m not even sure you all are interested.” I turned off the water and moved the kettle to the stove.

“What’s not to be interested in?” Solomon asked, his quiet and serious tone mixed with that deep, raspy voice of his made me shiver. 

I fidgeted with the stove for a second in order to avoid looking at him again. If I did after that I just might melt.

“Your boldness at the meeting impressed most of us. I think Reap and I were both charmed right away.”

I looked back at him finally. “Thank you,” was all I could muster.

His smile grew and there was a softness to his gaze. “What? Are you not used to such compliments?”

I shook my head. “To be honest I’m more used to the opposite.”

Solomon frowned, looking concerned. “Who from?”

I shook my head. “Oh no, I mean, not recently. It’s been years since-” My voice clogged itself in my throat and my mouth hung open for a second. I swallowed and shrugged. “It was a past relationship.”

Solomon huffed, shaking his head. “Such a shame, Stella. Men are idiots. Cruel idiots. I’m so sorry.”

“You aren’t my ex. You don’t need to apologize for anything.” I smiled shyly. “You say that about your own kind?”

“Not exactly my kind,” he sighed. “Us paralangua are raised better as young ones. I know hurt like that is hard to forget, but I do find you beautiful if that means anything.”

I must have been strawberry red because I saw his gaze turn to concern. “It means something.” My voice squeaked. I cleared my throat and met his eyes, chuckling softly. “Thank you so much.”

Solomon touched my hand just as the teapot began to whistle.

We had a lovely conversation over tea; he talked about his life beyond the river in Charcourt, he was raised by his father alone, and he, too, longed for a bigger family. I was always easily attracted to a deep voice and large hands (it got me in trouble once before), but I felt a chemistry with Solomon that felt so real.

“You probably have work to do. I shouldn’t have kept you so long.” Solomon murmured.

That cut through me as I had so been enjoying our conversation. “Oh uh-” I looked at the clock and couldn't argue that I needed to tend to things on the farm. “Yes well-” I didn’t really want to say goodbye.

Solomon took his cup to the sink. “I did enjoy getting to know you, Stella.”

I nodded. “Me too. I mean! I mean you too. I mean-”

Solomon chuckled and he leaned down, placing a kiss on my cheek. My heart could have stopped. I’d never been kissed on the cheek by a guy like that.

“Venus is next. Not sure when they'll want to come by, but do expect them.” Solomon gave me a wink.

I smiled back at him. “Is there anything they like I could have around for them?”

“Sweets,” he replied. “Venus likes sweets.”

“I do like to bake.” I said, walking him to the door.

At the door, Solomon looked at me and there was a crackle in the air. “I know we just met, but would you mind if I kissed you? In earnest?”

I just nodded, unable to say anything as I tried to contain myself. Solomon dipped his head, placing a kiss upon my lips. I shivered as his hand touched my cheek. Imagine that four more times, I thought to myself.

“Kissing? Already?”

Solomon pulled back as Venus walked up to the door. Venus had a slight scowl upon their face and their tail swished back and forth behind them.

“What are you doing here?” Solomon chuckled. “Eager to get things started.”

Venus bristled, or at least, every fiber of them stiffened. “You’re taking your time, I see! We had an agreement.”

“I know. I know.” Solomon stepped away from the door. “I’ll see you later, Stella. For now, I leave you with Venus.” 

“Until later,” I said. I then looked back at Venus. “I actually have some chores to do if you don’t mind waiting.”

Venus eyes darted towards the barn, seeing the fenced in area where the cows were gathering, waiting for their next meal. “You said they were the Golden Girls?”

I nodded. “Would you like to help me?”

Venus was still pouting but he followed me towards the barn. The Golden Girls gathered at the entrance, mooing and shoving each other to get to the front.

“The red one is Blanche,” I started. “The black and white one is Sophia. Rose is the brown and white one, and the black one is Dorothy.”

Venus approached them gingerly, holding out his hand which Rose sniffed at. He went and pet her, the other girls complained they weren’t getting the same attention.

“Do you like animals?” I asked as I filled up the trough.

Venus pulled his hand back. “I have a cat.”

“Aww, what’s their name?” I smiled at Venus who looked away shyly, but maintained a tough appearance.

“Bea.”

I smirked. “I used to listen to the Mame soundtrack with my grandmother all the time. Bea Arthur has such a great voice.”

Venus’s eyes followed me as I refilled the bucket with chicken feed. “My cat has a weird raspy voice, that’s why I named her Bea.”

“That’s so cute.” I led Venus out into the farmyard, tossing out the chicken feed and the chickens came running.

“You’re really the only one who works this?” Venus asked.

“I’m the only Riley in Charcourt left,” I replied, hugging the bucket to my chest. “And obviously I’m single.”

Venus scoffed. “So you want the five of us just for hired help?”

I gave him a look. “No. I mean, help is nice, but-”

“But what?”

I was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know. I just like the idea of the affection that comes with it.”

His gaze softened and I swear the white scales around his eyes turned pink. “You just want to be pampered by five guys?”

I chuckled. “Maybe? Doesn’t anybody want to be a little pampered?” I walked back towards the barn to get more feed for the sheep. “I was thinking about making cookies when I was done here. What kind do you like?”

Venus’ eyes got wide and he cleared his throat. “Trying to grease me up with baking?”

“Maybe a little,” I said with a giggle. “If I’m being honest.”

Venus glanced at me then away. “What kinds can you make?”

I thought for a moment. “Well, I think I can do chocolate chip, sugar cookies, I’ve got lots of cinnamon too.”

Venus sniffed, watching as the Golden Girls came closer to him. “Chocolate chip is good.”

“Alright then. I’ll have to go check the coop for eggs.”

Venus turned towards me. “What?”

“Well what do you think I have the chickens for? I sell the eggs, I also sell the milk from the girls and the goats.”

Venus seemed stunned by this. “I guess that makes sense,” he muttered. “But you just use them like that? Fresh from their-”

“That’s how eggs happen.” I walked towards the coop. “Want to see?”

Venus shook their head. “Not really. Can I just go inside?” They pointed back to the house.

“Sure, go ahead.” I gathered up the eggs I could find in the coop then went back inside. Venus was looking around my kitchen as well, especially the magnets on the fridge. I set the basket of eggs down and they looked at the basket with some repulsion. 

“They come out gross, yes. They stay fresher if you don’t wash them.”

Their mouth gaped as I said this.

I just smirked at him. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll wash the ones I use for the cookies. Is that alright?”

They nodded, returning to their usual grumpy pout.

I gathered up ingredients to make the cookies and preheated the oven. “Venus is an interesting name,” I replied. It was really the only conversation starter I could think of. It had been quiet this whole time.

“You think?” Venus huffed. “My mom liked that show Sailor Moon, she didn’t seem to care that Venus meant girl.”

It was an awfully cute explanation but I wouldn’t have dared repeated that to him. “So she named you after her favorite character, that’s sweet.”

Venus frowned. “I went by Vee until I was fifteen,” he grumbled. “Then when my mom got sick, I started letting her call me Venus again.”

I stopped measuring out flour and gave Venus a sympathetic look.

“I lived with Reap’s family for a time,” they muttered. “His brother, Lerour, had just gone through the ceremony so there was room for me.” They sniffled then turned their head away so I couldn’t see.

“I’m so sorry, Venus.” I reached out and touched his arm, which he tilted his head to look at. “My mom died when I was little too.”

Venus looked back at me, his eyes were watery and pink around the rim. “Yeah well. Guess we have something in common. Not that being sad is any sort of connection.”

I chuckled and rubbed his arm gently. “I would say grief is a pretty good common ground to start from.” I measured out more of the dry ingredients and Venus came closer to my side. They were a touch shorter than me, but they had nice strong arms and thick thighs. Plus, they felt nice next to me, a little warm with a comforting air.

“So, you lived with Reap?” I asked. 

“Yeah,” he muttered. “He’s pretty shy, just warning you.”

“Good to know.” I started mixing the dry ingredients together. “Is he next?”

Venus shook his head and got a look of annoyance upon their face. “Unfortunately for you, Chandra is next.”

“Why unfortunately?” I laughed.

“You didn’t get enough of him at the meeting the other night? He’s obnoxious, not to mention a bit of a-” They stopped and hesitated saying the next word. “Just don’t fall for his ploys.” 

“Ploys? What ploys?”

Venus gave me a warning look, one that turned their eyes into a darker shade of gray. He held up a finger and leaned in close. “Solomon can ask for a kiss and be a gentleman. Chandra is no gentleman, he is a flirt and enjoys a challenge.”

“He’s easy?” I giggled.

“A little.” Venus looked back at the cookie mix. “Just be careful. Not saying you won’t be, you seem to have a level head on you.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.” I continued making the cookies with Venus. When the cookies were fresh from the oven, Venus had quite a few. They took the rest home and I promised we could bake together again sometime soon.

I could tell from his expression he wanted to ask for a kiss as well, but wasn’t going to do it anytime soon. “Have a good evening, Venus.” I kissed his cheek and those eyes lit up into pure silver. He didn’t say anything just looked at me and nodded before leaving.

“Pretty cute,” I said to myself after he left. “Solomon and Venus in one day,” I murmured. I could still remember Solomon’s kiss, and the connection I made with Venus was just as sweet. 

“Two down, three to go,” I murmured and went back inside to finish cleaning up. 

Three:

It had been a day or so since I had seen Solomon and Venus, so I was expecting Chandra at any moment. Considering what I had gleaned from him at the meetings, and even Venus’ warnings, it was obvious he was going to be a handful. But so far, I had been enjoying these meetings, so I wasn’t going to worry about it for too long.

Every so often I like to take my goats down to the river that runs behind the farm. They get to play, splash around, and I swear the water makes their milk taste so much better. I also like to go down there and look for pretty rocks or plants I can add to my collection.

The four goats were playing in the river, eating grass from the shore and splashing around. The youngest, Gilda, was bouncing around and having the time of her life. I was wading at the edge of the river, looking at stones that crossed my path. I then heard the goats exclaim and come running towards me, splashing and kicking up water all over the back of my legs.

Expecting a snake or something, I turned quickly, ushering the goats to the bank. Then I caught a flash of white in the corner of my eye. There stood Chandra, rising up out of the water with a great smirk upon his face.

“Didn’t mean to startle,” he chuckled. He smoothed his hand down his chest, wiping away excess water. “I just smelled something delicious in the air and came towards it.”

The goats on the bank yelled and made a fuss as Chandra came closer to me.

“Not funny,” I huffed, smoothing my hair back away from my face.

Chandra approached, taking my hand and kissing the back of it. “My apologies to you and the ladies.”

“One's a male, but thank you.” His pink eyes were captivating, they looked like glass marbles that shined brighter than any diamond.

“My apologies again for the misgendering,” Chandra said with a chuckle.  He then leaned against one of the trees that hung over the river. “So, what brings a lily of the valley like you to a place like this?”

I motioned back to the goats. “I like bringing them down here sometimes. Wasn’t expecting you to come out of the river though.”

“I enjoy making an entrance. What can I say?” he looked me over, drinking me in and growing a smile that made me think of the cat who ate the canary.

I smirked. “What are you doing?”

“What? Just looking. I’m not going to do anything, I don’t know what Venus said to sully my name, but I swear, I’m not like that.” He winked playfully.

I eyed him up and down. “What do you think Venus said?”

“Well, knowing him, nothing too fond.” He stepped aside from the tree and sat down upon the bank, stretching out his legs and tail upon the grass. “He and I have never quite seen eye to eye.”

I took the spot beside him, raising up my knees to my chest. “And why do you think that is?”

“I think he envies my confidence,” he said with a laugh. “Maybe my height.”

“Venus told me not to fall for your ploys.” I glanced up at him to garner his reaction, which there was none. Chandra simply smiled. “What would those ploys be?”

Chandra’s tail curled, wrapping around my sides then brushing up against my thigh. “Well, let me think. I have no idea what he is talking about.” he said teasingly. Meanwhile, his tail tightened and pulled me in close to his side. Chandra put his arm around me and continued to feign contemplation.

I looked at his arm and let out a small laugh. “What are you doing?”

“Hm?” He looked down. “Oh my goodness. When did you do this?” He pulled his arm back. “We’ve only just met. Unless you’re…into that.” He winked again.

I rolled my eyes and scooted back. “You’re something of a flirt.”

“Don’t you worry. Once the ceremony happens I will become the most devoted out of all my brother husbands.” he laid his hand dramatically against his chest. “I call them oats to sow. But I’m sure there are names for me out there.”

“Venus was hinting. But I don’t blame oats for being oats.”

Chandra smiled. “Have you sowed a bit in your time?”

I shrugged. “I wouldn’t call it sowing. Maybe if I was doing it on gravel.” I made a face and shook my head. “I planted my oats in the wrong ground.”

He got a look upon his face, one of concern. “Mind if I ask what was so wrong about this ground?”

I looked at him and then away a few times before I got the nerve to say anything. “Let's just say it was toxic earth.”

Chandra nodded his head, clicking his tongue in understanding. “I’m happy to see you here, away from that.”

I sighed heavily. “Me too.”

Chandra leaned back against his palms and gazed up towards the sky. “Now you have five strikingly rich, fertile soils to plant your oats.”

I grimaced. “Can we stop this analogy?”

“I hated the words as soon as I said them.” Chandra watched me as I stood up. His eyes followed me, seeing my look of distress and I gazed at the goats behind us. “Something the matter?”

“Gilda’s gone.” I whipped around, looking all over for the little goat. “One of my goats is missing.”

“Well calm down, calm down,” he coaxed as he stood up. “I’m sure she’s around here somewhere.”

“She’s my youngest and she’s not learned how wandering is bad!” I darted down the river then looked back. “I need to get the others back to the barn. But I don’t want to lose time looking for her.” I could feel the panic rising in my gut.

“You take the goats back, I’ll keep looking,” he said gently. “I’ll keep looking.”

I nodded and breathlessly lead the other goats back to the barn. As I made my way back towards the river, I looked everywhere. If I thought she could sleep under stones I would have turned every single one over. I searched all along the path and once I reached the river I searched for Chandra. After getting down to the bank I saw a flash of white in the corner of my eye. Chandra was knelt down beside a bush and my stomach seized. I instantly thought the worst and ran towards him.

“Chandra?” I called out.

He looked up and shushed me, tapping his finger to his mouth. “Be quiet. She’s sleeping.”

“Sleeping?” I blurted angrily. I ran to him and looked over his shoulder, seeing little Gilda curled up under a bush that was directly in a beam of sunlight.

“She probably curled up here and passed out.” He looked up at me and smiled. “She’s so cute, I didn’t want to bother her.”

As I came closer Gilda lifted up her head, she moved herself closer and laid her head on Chandra’s knee. The look in his beautiful pink eyes made my heart melt. As my nerves settled I leaned up against him. It was quiet for a long moment while we let Gilda enjoy her nap. I fell asleep as the sun was warm and the flow of the river made a powerful spell. 

I came to as Chandra was carrying me towards the house with Gilda at our heels. “Ah, awake I see.” He sat me down and and smoothed back my clothes from being crumpled up. “Have a nice nap?”

“Yeah, I guess I did,” I chuckled. 

Gilda was happily standing at Chandra’s side. It made my heart flutter.

“You owe me then,” Chandra teased. “Everyone got a full meeting with you, but I suppose being used as a pillow is fine.”

“Sorry, I really am.” I chuckled. 

“No worries.” Chandra smoothed his palm over my cheek then tucked back my hair. “I’ll have you all to myself here soon.” 

I closed my eyes, giving him the signal to kiss me. Instead he smoothed back my hair and kissed my forehead. “I can do better.” He whispered before he pulled away. “Hopefully Reap won’t outshine me.” He gave me a smile before leaving, and my face was molten hot. 

To say I’ve been having a hard time sleeping with all this going on would be accurate. Fitful is the word I would use. My overactive imagination combined with the ‘ten hands’ mantra I’d been going over, was giving me some pretty bodice heaving thoughts. I could only imagine what was coming with Reap and Eros still arriving. I knew a bit about Reap, I’d gotten to talk to him already. But Eros was a bit of a mystery. His painted nails and pearl necklace were the most I had to introduce him to me. Reap was shy and super sweet, and his opening line to me had been on my mind as I awaited our meeting.

It was a regular afternoon, one where I had just received a grocery order. I always enjoyed the act of putting things away neatly. Whether it was in the barn or in my own home, having everything neatly placed and organized was cathartic. Plus, if I had a hard time seeing something I often forgot it was there. So it’s best I can see what I have.

Anyways, as I was remarking on how frustrating it is certain products have the same bottles but different labeling, there was a knock at my door. I turned, seeing a shape in the stained glass window of my door.

“Just a second!” I called out, setting the groceries aside. I opened the door to see a bouquet of flowers. Vivid pinks and reads, dashes of pale yellow, all sorts of flowers that must have cost a bundle to put together.

“Don’t just shove it in her face.”

“I didn’t mean to!”

I looked beyond the bouquet to see both Eros and Reap standing in my doorway. They both looked at me, similarly sympathetic but their eyes read it in different ways.

“Two at once? What did I do to deserve this?” I asked.

Eros offered me the bouquet. “Before that, I put this together myself with Reap’s suggestions.”

“You did this? It’s beautiful!” I exclaimed.

“Eros is really talented with those sorts of things,” Reap spoke softly from behind. “It’s part of why I asked him to tag along for my visit.” He looked embarrassed, almost afraid to look at me, but he did with a lustrous sparkle to his eyes.

“Come on in, the kitchen is a mess right now, but the table is clear.” I stepped inside, letting them follow in after me.

“Do you have a vase?” Eros asked. “I can take care of those for you.”

“I’ll have to hunt one down. It’s been ages since I last got flowers I didn’t pick myself.” I chuckled, gently laying the bouquet down.

“The kitchen isn’t a mess,” Reap said as he looked around.

“I just got groceries so it’s scattered.” I was searching through the lower cabinets, hoping to find my grandmother’s vase. We used to put it on the table every Sunday with flowers my grandfather got for her. But childhood was so long ago.

From the corner of my eye I saw Eros mouth something to Reap. Reap nodded in turn and came to my side. “Can I help with the search?”

“Yes, actually,” I huffed when the lower cabinets didn’t pan out. “The vase may be up behind one of the tins. You’re so tall, you’d probably see it before me.”

Reap smiled at me. “Says the tall sight for short eyes.”

I broke into a huge smile I tried to keep restrained. “Yes, even for me.”

His bright smile broke through that nervousness he held and he began searching along that top shelf, carefully peering behind the tins.

“I haven’t had to use that vase since my grandmother passed,” I replied. “So I’m afraid I put it somewhere safe and forgot where safe was.”

Eros looked up from the sink, using a pair of shears to trim the ends of the flowers into the sink. “Isn’t that how it always goes? I lose more scissors in my shop that way.”

“What is your shop?” I asked.

“A florist,” he said with a soft laugh. “I also dabble in a few other things. But flowers are my main pay check.”

“Don’t be modest,” Reap said. “He’s a renaissance man.”

“You hush.” Eros ran water over the freshly trimmed stems.

Reap stepped back. “Is this it?” He held out the vase which was covered in grease and dust from years of sitting high up in the kitchen.

“You found it!” I reached for it, touching Reap’s hands as I did. His gaze softened and his fingers twitched. “Thank you,” I said a bit more gently. “It needs a good washing.” At the sink I stood by Eros. His eyes glanced down upon my hands as I scrubbed into the vase.

“A hard worker, I see.” He took my hand gently as the vase soaked in water. He turned my palm over, gently brushing the tip of his claw along my skin. It made me shiver in a way I never had before. It was a whole new sensation to me.

Eros smiled. “What a strong heart line you have.”

“Heart line?”

Eros looked up into my eyes. “Also known as the love line,” he almost sounded like he was purring saying this.

My cheeks radiated heat until it burned the tops of my ears. “What a coincidence,” I said breathlessly.

“See, I told you it was a good thing I brought you along,” Reap murmured from behind. “You’re so good at that.”

Eros gave Reap a gentle look. “Don’t sell yourself short, Reap. You have charms all your own, but I am more than happy to be here for both of you.” He squeezed my hand gently before letting it go.

I rinsed off the vase. “You don’t need to be nervous about me. I consider myself an easy person to be around. It’s growing up with animals I think.”

“That’s what my brother said,” Reap said with a halfhearted chuckle. “But still, Eros is good at breaking tension. I feel as though I am good at making it.”

“There we are now,” Eros said as he finished off the vase. “Beautiful. Just like the one we made it for.”

I giggled and shyly looked away.

Reap sighed. “He makes it seem so easy.”

“Compliments are meant to be easy,” Eros replied. “Action is what’s best.” He motioned to me and Reap looked at me. We both exchanged glances and Reap smiled.

“Action, huh?” Reap rubbed at the side of his neck. “Well, would you like help putting your groceries away.”

I smiled. “I’m picky about how I put it up, so don’t worry about it. All the cold stuff is put away. But, if you’d like, I’d love to sit over some tea or coffee with the both of you. It’s such a nice day out, and I rarely ever get to use my patio.”

Reap’s smile was probably the sweetest out of all five of them. I was charmed instantly by him, and anytime Eros spoke it was like he was putting me under some sort of dreamy spell.

There was a gentle breeze along with the warm sunlight, the old picnic table my grandfather made was rarely used these days, but sitting with Eros and Reap made it feel like old times.

“My big brother went through the ceremony a few years ago,” Reap was telling me. “I’ve always been nervous at the idea. But he’s been telling me all these amazing things so I’ve been growing more excited as the ceremony gets closer. Then, shocker, we find out only one of the chosen this year is attending.”

“Honest gut punch,” Eros replied. He had been holding my hand the entire time, massaging it, rubbing my palm, admiring the fine lines it seemed. “None of us were sure what to do or how to act.”

“We tried to wait on word from the council but-” Reap bowed his head and swallowed. “I got curious one night.”

“I saw your footprints,” I replied. 

Reap looked aside and fidgeted in his seat. “I’m sorry! I wanted to see who stayed and I…well-”

Eros rolled his hand. “Go on. Tell her.”

I looked back at Reap. “Tell me what?”

He took in a deep breath. “I understood something my brother said. He said he saw his chosen, and knew then and there she was it. The one. His. I thought it was silly, Lerour was always dramatic but then I saw you.”

My heart fluttered.

“And like he said, I knew.” He looked up at me with a shy glance. “I think all of us felt that way. That’s how it seemed in the meeting anyways.”

I swallowed, nervous, elated, light headed, and a bunch of other things I don’t think I could blame on the coffee. “Well, thank you.” I laugh because that sounded so silly. “I don’t know why I said thank you! But uhm…I felt a little similar that day. I feel that way each time I meet one of you. It’s like fitting into something comfortable.”

Reap’s smile returned. “It does.”

Eros lifted my hand, kissing my knuckles. “We’re all a little opposite in our own ways, but you seem to be a connecting factor to all of it.”

My heart was pounding fast. Ten hands kept repeating in my mind. “I am nervous about the ceremony. I’ve barely had one serious boyfriend, let alone five. Let alone five paralangua ones.” I gazed into Reap’s eyes, seeing a gentle gaze. “I don’t know if it will work out for all of us but…I am excited to try.”

Four:

My heart is hammering out of my chest. No. Beyond that. My heart is hammering in space and changing Earth’s rotation. I was wading in knee deep water, entering the depths of the labyrinth. Cold mud and stone greet my toes. Meanwhile, ahead of me, there is a vastness I cannot describe. The labyrinth is one of the greatest mysteries the Festival of Ash provides, and I am alone inside.

The paralangua will begin their hunt now. But I am the sole prey this festival. Usually, the five chosen paralangua will enter along with some other hopeful paralangua, hunting for their chosen mate. This year, my five will enter alone, and they will hunt me together, yet separately. The order of who leaves the labyrinth will determine…well, something very intimate.

I slipped and fell into the water, splashing down, losing footing, and finding myself careening down a waterslide that shoots me out over a waterfall, below me is a vast depth with a faint blue glow.

I notice none of this beauty or splendor. I am far too busy screaming at the top of my lungs as I cascade down the waterfall like a ragdoll.

From the waterfall lunges a huge, imposing figure that rips me from the air. My heartbeat is such that now the moon is shaken from its orbit. I am tucked into large arms, one of which grabs hold of a vine and swings us towards a wall where he stops my careening.

“Easy now,” a calm voice whispers. “I got you in the nick of time.” There was a slight chuckle to his voice, but I was too busy trying to breathe to notice the sexy inflection.

“Oh my god!” I gulped in air. “Oh my god!” My naked body pressed into the scaly flank of Chandra. His white scales gleamed with that faint blue glow. He looked iridescent in the light.

“Took a tumble, did ya?” Chandra laughed as he put me upon his back. “Was planning to sneak up on you until you did that.” He started climbing up the vine, heading towards the beam of light over us.

I clung to his neck, holding on for dear life as the pool below us grew even further away. “I didn’t even see that I was that close to a slide!”

“No worries.” Chandra started to laugh but was yanked from below. 

Glancing down, Venus was upon us, his hand wrapped tightly around Chandra’s ankle. 

“Do you mind?” Chandra tried kicking, but found it upset his balance on the rope. “I’m trying to get our Stella out of here.”

“And let you be first?” Venus snarled. “Fat chance.”

Chandra eased me around to his front, holding me in the curve of his arm. “Excuse me, love.” He set me upon a ledge on the wall then leapt down, tackling Venus, and both of them dropped into the knee deep water I started in.

I yelped, quickly coming to standing. I watched them struggle for a moment, their bodies writhing and thrashing in the water, before I made my way along the ledge. The ledge led to an opening, which itself turned into a dimly lit corridor. Light filtered in through the ceiling, which was covered by vines and tree limbs. The floor was cold with settled patches of water that trickled down the walls. I was supposed to keep running, creating the chase that the labyrinth was made for. But I really didn’t want to. I wanted one of them to find me, it didn’t matter who. I just wanted to be found and taken out of here.

As I came to the end of the hallway, I peeked around the corner to see stairs on either side, and a drop off straight ahead. I stood there for a moment, listening for rushing water or something, not sure.

“There you are.”

I jumped nearly out of my skin. I looked this way and that before turning back around and seeing a massive shape at the end of the hall I just came from.

“Found you,” Solomon’s deep voice rippled through the air.

“Oh, hi,” My voice pitched as I spoke. “Fancy-” I slipped on the wall as I tried to brace against it. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Solomon stepped into the hallway. Light flitted across his body, and I took in the entire spectacle of it. I swallowed, forcing myself to gaze back up at his face. “What happened to Chandra and uhm…”

“Venus?”

I nodded, keeping my eyeline up. 

Solomon lowered down to all fours. “Don’t worry about them.” He lunged, rushing towards me.

I jumped again, rushing out the door and heading for the stairs. Solomon came racing out, standing back up on his legs as I was halfway down the stairs. We locked eyes as I turned back to look. I smiled, and he smiled back, so I turned and kept running. 

I stumbled into the water at the bottom of the stairs. Taking a step off a stone landing, I went waist-deep, which made running and impossibility. There was a loud splash behind me, and then there was silence as the water settled. 

“This would be so scary under any other circumstance,” I whispered to myself. I saw ripples in the water where Solomon was swimming. I ducked under, swimming away myself to continue the chase. 

Now, I know that there is no possible way I could ever hope to outswim a paralangua, especially one like Solomon. But, I do have years of swimming in the creek outside the farm against kids in the neighborhood on my side. I was a strong swimmer, so there was a possibility for some fun to be had.

But just as I was thinking this, my leg was grabbed and I was pulled back through the water. I was lifted to the surface where Solomon had me locked in a tight embrace. My back was pressed to his chest, and I could feel the rhythm of his very even breathing, but also, the excited rumble of his heart. 

“You almost slipped away from me,” he whispered into my ear.

“Almost,” I laughed. I patted my hands upon his arms, feeling just how tight he was holding onto me. I glanced back at him, seeing a curious smile grow upon his face. I looked back forward, seeing more ripples in the water that aimed directly at us.

Eyes peered up from the water, then slowly, Eros rose from the depths. “I really didn’t want to go head to head with you, Solomon, old boy.”

Solomon laughed, “Then don’t.”

Eros wiped water back from his face then sighed. His eyes focused on me. “I do have to admit.” He licked his chops as his eyes turned sultry. “I like the looks of this.”

I had felt exposed and naked this whole time, well, because I was. But Eros’ gaze did something to me that made me all the more aware of my body, my shape, and Solomon’s pressed against it.

“Careful now,” Solomon coaxed. 

Eros let out a deep, dark chuckle that sent shivers up my spine. “Oh trust me. I’m as a gentle as a la-” He was cut off, dragged back under water so fast I was half certain my brain glitched out.

“Goodness,” Solomon sounded just as surprised as I was.

Venus rose up, water pouring out of his jowls. He was snarling, breathing heavy as he looked at us with an almost crazed look to his eyes.

“Give her up, old man.”

“Now why is everyone suddenly calling me old man?” Solomon lifted me up and set me back behind him. “I’ll show you old, little boy.”

Venus roared and charged ahead, but much like Eros he was ripped aside and tossed into the waters with a mightly splash. Eros dove after him, charinging into a fight that looked more vicious than it needed to be.

“Run.” Solomon whispered back at me. “Now is your chance while the children are fighting.”

“What about you?” I asked.

Solomon just laughed and rushed into the fight happening before them.

I went into the water, swimming away from the kerfuffle and finding land I could walk upon. I climbed onto a mossy embankment and slid down to the other side where I plopped into a plush field of little white flowers. 

I laid there for a moment, catching my breath. Up above me was a canopy of vines, sunlight streaming down in radiant, warm beams. I laid for a second, resting and letting myself warm. 

“Those three are fighting,” I murmured. “Chandra is somewhere. And I haven’t seen Reap yet.” I sat back up and saw across the field of flowers there was an alcove where Reap was curled up inside.

“Oh,” I gasped. I stood up, waiting to see if he would move, but he didn’t. I walked across the field then climbed up upon the stone to peer into the alcove. “Reap?” I touched his back and he shifted slightly. 

I took hold of his arm and shook him gently. To which he stirred more. “It’s alright, keep running.”

I climbed up further to peer inside. “What’s the matter?”

Reap curled up more. “Nothing. I’m just not made out for this sort of thing.”

I stepped over him and into the alcove, finding it was quite comfortable inside and the stone was warmed from the sun. “Neither am I.”

Reap sighed, keeping his eyes closed. “I’ve never been much of a fighter. I don’t mind getting out last.”

I sat beside him, pulling my knees up to my chest. “I mind.”

Reap swallowed hard but remained silent. 

“You were the first one I met. I mean, it only seems fair.” I touched him, seeing him shiver from the contact. “I like you.”

Reap let out a nervous, shuddering laugh and he opened his eyes. “Damn. I knew it. You’re beautiful.”

I was aware of my nakedness again, but I knew that in this position all my rolls and folds were showing tenfold. “Oh come on.”

“I mean it.” Reap muttered as he doubled up into his fetus position. “And you smell even better.”

I was growing warm from within. “You’re lovely too.” I said as I gazed down his body, watching his tail cover a certain area.

“You should go now,” Reap murmured. “They’ll show up soon.”

“So?” I breathed as I lowered myself down to him. I touched him more, grazing my hand down his chest. “I’ve been waiting for this. I’m not sure I can wait more. The more they come after me, the more they touch me-”

Reap shuddered again. “I shouldn’t be first.”

“Why not?” I chuckled. “I already said-”

Reap grabbed my hand before it could lower and he glared into my eyes. “I’m not made to be enjoyed so easily,” he growled.

I furrowed my brow. “What does that mean?”

Slowly he began to unfurl, pulling his tail back and shifting his hips to present himself. Now, as a farm girl, I’ve seen some things. Lots of things. Back when we had tons of animals, I had seen horses, bulls, hell, even goose and pigs go at it on the farm. My grandfather taught me the birds and the bees that way, which my grandmother and mother had to correct in a lot of ways.

But when I say I had never seen anything like Reap, you know it was nothing you had ever seen.

“See?” He snarled. “I’m too big for anyone to enjoy.” He grunted and looked away in shame. “It’s miserable. Sometimes I even get light headed when I get erect.”

“Are you now?” I whispered as my eyes remained locked to the shaft. Thick. Big. Ten hands.

“A little.” Reap kept his gaze away from me.

I licked my lips as the hunger inside me grew. Yes, he was big, but I was also a big girl. “May I touch it?”

Reap jerked and his hard cock swayed. “You should run.”

“Please? My hands are cold and you look warm.” It was a ruse, but maybe he would fall for it.

He growled under his breath, straining as he seemed to throb harder now. “Just a little. It’s fine.”

Yes! I reached down, placing the tip against my palm. Reap whined, so did I. I stroked down, my hand was barely able to wrap around him. I bit down hard on my lip, caressing him even more.

“Fuck,” Reap whimpered and his hips shook.

“Reap,” I breathed. “I’m so fucking turned on.”

He whined again as I began to pump my hand up and down his mighty cock. “I-” He couldn’t get any words out.

I scooted down, taking my mouth and joining my hands. I kissed and licked him, feeling his pulse directly against my tongue. I was growing so wet I could flood the labyrinth myself. And there was an ache, god the ache!

“Stella, please!” He gasped breathlessly.

I took his tip into my mouth, tasting him directly, tasting a saltiness that dripped from the tip. Fuck, I needed him.

“We should…I should-” Reap was shivering, his hips were bucking.

“I know.” I moaned as I sat up. I lifted my leg to straddle him, taking his cock and rubbing myself against it.

Reap cried out in a sort of desired agony. “Hot!” he cried. “You’re so hot!”

I whimpered, holding him with one hand while grinding my slit against him. I needed him, in all ways. I had been trying my hardest all this time to behave myself, to keep a cool mind. But ten hands. Five cocks. Six if you wanted to take Reap’s size into account.

I place his tip to my entrance and saw the wide eyed expression upon his face. I nodded to him, slowly taking his monstrous cock inside. God! It felt so good!

“Stella-” he gasped and grabbed hold of my hips. “Be careful.”

I moaned with glee as I took him, rocking myself upon his tip then taking slightly more. My jaw hung slack as I took more and more, but there was a lot of him to take. Below me his hips rocked, pressing into the sensitive spots inside. I cried out, leaning forward to balance myself against him. 

He would take me first, there was no question in it. I panted, trying to catch my breath, but my hips were moving to find my release, and I didn’t want to stop. Not at all. I faced Reap again, smiling at him.

“I’m enjoying you very much,” I moaned. “Oh fuck, so much.”

Reap threw his head back. “I’ve never felt like this.”

“Hey!”

The loud bellowing call shook us both, taking us completely out of our hedonistic moment. Venus was standing there in the flowers, huffing and puffing from what was, no doubt, a hard fight against Eros and Solomon. He’d also gone head to head with Chandra first thing.

“What are you doing? That’s not fair!” Venus pointed towards us, and I could swear I saw a glint of tears in his eyes.

“Oh uh-” I was scrambling, but not moving out of place. “Venus, it’s uhm-”

Venus charged towards us but stopped short. “I wanted-” His voice cracked and I was sure I saw tears.

Reap swallowed and he sat up, picking me up with him. He handed me out towards Venus. “You can join in. Who says we have to fight?”

Venus sniffled and looked away, his eyes darting back to me. “Then what?” He sniffed again, but this time, it was like he was tasting the air.

“Fuck?” I spoke up which caused Venus to chuckle. 

He smiled at me, getting that cocky smug of his. “Fine then.” He took me from Reap and laid me down upon the flowers. He kissed me, planting them all over my body along with hints of his sharp teeth. His tongue replaced Reap’s cock, slurping and moaning against me until I was a blushing, heaving mess again. I clawed at the flowers behind me, gripping at them until I moved to Venus’ shoulders.

Reap watched us from above, eyes bleary but focused at the same time. He would glance around shyly, fidgeting slightly as he seemed embarrassed to touch himself. That was, until it became too much and he had to take both his hands and stroke himself.

Below my waist, Venus was enjoying himself. His tongue was long and strong, lapping at my clit, then burrowing deep inside me. His teeth would hit every so often, eliciting a startled yet pleasured moan from my lips.

“You’re really good at that,” Reap said through a strained breath.

Venus’ eyes cut up to him, lifting his head briefly to crack that superior smile. “Have you not tasted her? She’s awesome.”

Not sure how being called awesome is sexy but I would take it.

Reap knelt down beside Venus and I thought my head would pop open like a cartoon. He and Venus licked at the same time and I craned my neck back, cupping both hands over my mouth as they feasted together.

“See how she likes it?” Venus chuckled.

Reap moaned softly against me, almost like a purr.

“Save some room for us?”

All three of us jerked, turning our attention to Eros and Solomon coming over the flowery hill. Eros was watching, licking his chops as he came forward. 

He laughed as he stood before us, Solomon hobling up behind. “Did we change the rules on the elders? Naughty boys. I like it.”

Venus sneered as Eros came up, kneeling down beside me to caress down my chest then kiss me.

“You guys really did a number on me.” Solomon huffed as he plopped down beside me, laying down and letting out a relaxed breath. “Don’t let us stop you. By all means, keep going.”

“What about Chandra?” I managed to squeak out as Eros stroked and kissed me all over, nuzzling his head against me as he let out tranquil, happy sighs.

Solomon chuckled, pointing up.

I craned my neck back, peering up above the alcove where Reap and I had started. I see Chandra poised there, watching us with a lusty glint in his eyes.

“Pervert!” Venus shouted out as he stood up.

Chandra laughed. “I’m just enjoying the view! What’s wrong with that?” He slithered down from his perch and approached us. “You and Reap make wonderful dancing partners,” he said, jutting his tongue out. “Now come here. I think I earned my turn.” He grabbed me up from the ground, holding me so my rear was cupped in his great palms.

“Who decided this order?” Eros chuckled.

Chandra’s cock slipped against my thigh, rubbing there as he rocked me in his hands. “Don’t you want to do the pampering at the end?”

Eros pouted slightly, looking away as Reap came up to his side. “I suppose.”

“Then I get my go.” Chandra lifted me slightly so when I moved his cock popped up and he was able to place me over him. “I’m nowhere near as endowed as Reap,” he whispered so only I could hear. “But I know better how to utilize my gifts.” He entered me, pressing deep until I was overflowing.

I grunted, biting my lip as Chandra began moving me, using me as his own toy. I felt someone press up against my back, hugging me and touching me as Chandra moved inside. 

Ten hands. I thought to myself again. Ten hands.

“Enjoying yourself, huh?” Eros whispered into my ear from behind. “Good. You’re going to be having this feeling for a long time.”

“What about the labyrinth?” Reap murmured.

“Fuck the labyrinth!” Venus snapped. “We’re here with Stella now. They can wait on us for a minute, can’t they?”

“I hope longer than a minute,” Solomon laughed. 

Suddenly Chandra pulled out, allowing Eros to fill in his place. He eased up between my cheeks, slipping in from behind and wrapping his arms tight around me.

I cried out, feeling the first peak of intensity from my gut. I threw my head back against Eros’ shoulder, almost completely out of breath. Someone would have to give me mouth to mouth to survive.

“That’s it,” Eros puffed. “Feel me. Take me. Oh you’re beautiful! You’re amazing. Supple creature you are-”

“Enough adjectives,” Chandra laughed. “She’s close. She doesn’t need words. She needs actions.” His hand touched me below, fingering my clit.

It was too much, too hard a push. I erupted from that touch, arching my back and struggling to keep myself in their arms. I cried out, whimpering pitifully as Chandra continued to touch me, not stopping even though my body was crying out in that agonizing ecstasy.

“You’ll kill her,” Reap said gently.

“Nonsense, women are stronger than most. She can handle this,” Chandra moaned. I felt his warmth against my belly, he was cumming from seeing me cum. His thick seed dribbled down my belly, coating his fingers as he kept moving them against me.

“I’m cumming too-” Eros said with breathless abandon. “I’m-!” The strain in his voice choked off his words as he released, filling me to the brim even more than I expected.

The cool of the grass and flowers beneath my back pushed me back into reality. I gazed above me, seeing eyes watching me as I tried to pull myself out of my stupor.

“Wow!” I panted, pushing my hair out of my forehead. 

Venus chuckled. “You’ve still got three to go.”

I gave a thumbs up.

“A thumbs up, she’s a brave one,” Solomon laughed as he rolled over into my side. He pet down my chest, nuzzling my neck and murmuring softly to me.

“We should let her rest,” Reap said gently.

I propped up on my elbows. “I can handle it. I’ll be sore come morning, but I’m used to that,” I laughed.

“Well then, don’t mind me.” Solomon climbed up on top of me, stroking the hair from my face and gazing into my eyes. “I hope you don’t mind.”

I shook my head, raising my knees up around his hips so he could move between my thighs.

“Eros and Chandra left quite a mess,” Solomon murmured. “Good. I like that.”

I would say Solomon was the middle ground between Chandra, Eros, and Reap. He was quite big, but more long than girthy. He breathed in deeply, rubbing himself against me before he took the plunge. I was still quite sensitive, and his entrance shot tingles through all my limbs.

Solomon held up my legs, hugging them to his chest as he started slowly within me. He breathed out then hissed through his teeth. “Damn boys got my leg. But this will all be worth it. I can feel it.”

I could too. He reached deeper inside me than Chandra or Eros. I could tell he was holding back, but at this point he really didn’t need to.

Venus knelt down by my head. “Do you mind if-?” He seemed shy to ask.

“What would you like?” I stretch out my arm, rubbing up his thigh towards his cupped hand.

“Well-” He released himself from his hand, aiming his cock towards my mouth. “Just a little. That’s all.”

I parted my lips, letting him rest his tip upon my tongue. He pressed deeper, going into my cheek then towards my throat. I closed my lips around him and he breathed out this pitiful little sound.

I wondered what Reap was doing. We started out together, I hoped he wasn’t growing impatient or anything. 

“Trade?” Solomon chuckled to Venus.

Venus nodded eagerly, carefully removing himself from my lips then switching positions with Solomon. Venus was short, but quite girthy, he stretched me a bit as he slipped inside. Solomon’s length hit against my throat, almost making me gag. But I had trained my gag reflux ages ago due to shoveling manure on the farm. Sorry, not exactly sexy talk, I’ll leave it there though.

“Oh-” Venus let out that adorable, pitiful sound again. His face was elated and subtly precious. Solomon’s cock went down my throat a little, he struggled with not cumming immediately. 

There was a shudder again from deep within. Actually, I’m not surprised this didn’t happen sooner. Chandra and Eros had left me so raw and tender, I should have cum when Venus first entered me. But it took a moment to grow back, to settle warm in my belly and spill out again. My legs trembled first, sending their waves up through my body until I could no longer hold on.

Solomon sensed this, pulling himself out and splattering a bit on my lips, then aiming himself at my breasts as he finished. Venus cried out, nearly falling forward from  he force at which his release hit him.

Venus rested on top of me, snuggling to my chest despite Solomon’s seed all over them. Solomon chuckled, smoothing my hair back and kissing my face as I relaxed again.

“Any good?” He asked.

I nodded, not really able to form words this time.

“Mm,” Venus snuggled up closer, curling himself around me. 

“Come on little one, we’ve got one last one to make his turn.” Solomon, said, shaking Venus’ shoulder. 

Venus swatted at him. “Just a second longer.”

“It’s okay. I’m fine,” Reap responded quietly.

“What’s fair is fair.” Solomon managed to get Venus up. “Come on, you need to wash that pretty face of yours.”

“What?” Venus touched his face and squirmed. “Oh god! I laid in it!”

Solomon and Venus walked aside while Reap came over to me. “If you need a break, I don’t mind waiting.”

I pulled him down, hugging him tight into my arms. “Just a minute. I‘ll be okay.” I nuzzled into his neck, feeling him trembled as his arms joined in.

“This is nice,” he whispered.

I was exhausted, my body spent beyond its natural borders. But I wasn’t done yet. Eight out of ten hands were dealt with. Just two more to take care of. “It is.”

“I do really like you,” he whispered. “Had this been a normal festival…I would have…you would have been-”

I kissed him softly, gazing up into his eyes as I pet his face. “I would have liked that.” I smiled, sitting up to roll him into the ground. My legs were tired, but I knew this position was the best way to take him. His beast of a cock didn’t need to be tamed exactly, just coddled. After everything, I think I was even more relaxed than before and could take him with ease.

“You don’t-” I put my finger over his mouth to keep Reap quiet.

“Shh,” I hissed. “Relax. You’ve earned this. You’ve been so patient.” I placed my hands upon his chest. Easing myself back over him. It was much easier than before, much smoother. I could take him deeper now.

Reap’s eyes widened then he threw his head back, groaning. He trembled more, grasping onto my hips as I moved upon him.

Had it not been for this whole mess with the other chosen not showing up, Reap would have been my choice as well. He was exactly what I wanted in a partner. But now, knowing all five of these strapping paralangua, I don’t think I could ever choose between them. They were all so special, so precious. Their differently personalities meshed well, including with me. I liked they worked together and they didn’t seem jealous. I wanted this, more than anything, I wanted all of them. Not just their ten hands. But their five hearts. 

Poor Reap had been waiting so long, I could feel his thunder deep within me. He came and he came, shuddering and twisting as his long awaited release finally took over. I rode him the entire time, finding pleasure in watching him writhe under me.

I woke some time later in a bed, sunlight dappling in through the curtains. I sighed and laid back, not too eager to get up and started my day. The Golden Girls were surprisingly quiet. But then I recalled what had happened, and where I actually was.

I was in the castle at the end of the labyrinth. I sat up in the bed to look around, noticing the soreness of my thighs. I tilted my head towards the door to try and see out, but I couldn’t really see anything.

I laid back down, closing my eyes and enjoying the coolness of the room. It must have rained between my memory and waking up. I could smell it in the air.

I then felt the bed sag and looked to my right. Venus was crawling back into bed. He snuggled up against me and I put my arms around him.

“We didn’t wake you did we?” He asked. “We went to the farm to take care of things while you slept.”

“You’re too sweet, thank you.” I murmured.

“Solomon is making something to eat too.” Venus sighed tranquilly as he rested against me.

“Good morning.” Reap joined us in bed as well, curling up to my back and spooning me. He smelled like the soap in my kitchen. I wonder if he did my dishes. 

“Morning,” I murmured.

Reap nuzzled to my hair, breathing in. I rested again, nearly falling asleep when my temple was kissed from over Venus. Chandra joined us, followed by Eros who crawled up beside Venus to cuddle me.

I smiled to myself, feeling a bit smug and content with how this all turned out. Eventually Solomon arrived, bringing coffee and tea for all of us. We sat upon the bed, drinking the warm beverages and sighing in content. Nothing needed to be said, we had a long time to say everything in the future. For now, we were content and happy. I’m sure we would spend time here at the castle for a while, like all chosen did. But soon, I’d have to find room for them on the farm. Which sounded like a perfect chore. 

[anonomano]

Connection ~ Carlos Sainz

Part two

Mafia!Carlos Sainz x Fem,Arranged!Reader

prologue part one

Synopsis: The day of and the night after.

Warnings: Smut 18+, Dubious consent, toxic!carlos, a description of how pregnancies work

Your wedding day was tomorrow. You couldn't believe it. You couldn’t help but reminisce on all of the stories your mother used to tell you about true love; you had always thought that that would be how your life would unfold. Yet, here you are on the eve of your wedding day, you hadn't seen Carlos since that dinner and nobody would tell you anymore about him.

“Darling?” her mother this time “We need to talk” she looked nervous, as if what she had to say would greatly affect you. You hoped it was about Carlos. She sat next to you on the bed.

“Its about Carlos…sort of” she started “I guess its more about you” she seemed awkward you didn't understand.

“About me? And sort of Carlos?”

“Yes” she sighed “You had asked how babies are made and I feel must tell you before you got married” you looked at her, hopeful, she had never wanted to share this information with you before.

“It’s totally okay to feel confused. So, let’s start simple. When a man and a woman decide they want to have a baby, they get married, and then they choose to become parents when the time is right. Now, the physical part of making a baby is what you’re asking about. What happens is, during intimacy — and I know this word might sound awkward, but it’s simply the act where a man and a woman express their love and connection — the man’s sperm meets the woman’s egg.”

“Sperm and egg? Wait, how does that even happen?”

“The man’s sperm is in his semen, and when a couple is intimate, the man’s semen is released inside the woman. There, it can meet the egg that is released from the woman’s ovaries. If the sperm fertilizes the egg, then a baby can begin to grow inside her womb.” she states gently looking at you to see if you understand.

“Okay, so... it’s not just hugging or kissing, then?”

“No darling” she chuckled “its not just hugging or kissing”

——————————————————————————

It was the night before Carlos’ wedding as well; But he was handling it very differently. He wasn't alone, or with family, he was with a woman.

“That was great” she rolled off of him, placing her hand on his chest. “You know if you ever want to do this a—”

“I’m getting married” he blurted out “I can't do this anymore” her hand slowly went up to his jaw and she sat up to look at him more directly.

“That doesn't mean anything. You aren't marrying for love, or else you wouldn't be here with me now. What's the harm in getting your rocks off?”

He looks at her “I suppose you have a point” he pushes her hand off his face “doesn't mean it will be with you”

——————————————————————————

The church was decorated beautifully, traditional flowers along the pews; The Sainz has spared no expense.

You were dressed beautifully, in a long white gown that sat perfectly on your hips. Your hair was done up with pieces delicately framing your face. Your veil was placed on top dropping to the floor; it covered your face that was lightly covered in makeup, more then you would usually wear.

The ceremony was simple; your father walked you down the aisle, you said the stock vows to each other, put on rings, and kissed.

It was your first kiss.

There was a party afterwards but instead of being seated with your family, you were with Carlos.

“So, what made you change your mind about marrying me?” you questioned really looking at him for the first time today. He was dressed in a gorgeous suit and his hair was messy in a structured way. He looked good.

“Well, who else was there?” he looks at you, no feelings in his eyes “Plus, now I don't have to deal with your father anymore” you cringed “you don't seem like you will that big of a hassel” he looked away, towards another table, not sparing you a second glance.

You sat in silence for most of the night, people chatting and laughing all around you. The only person who came to talk to you was your mother; she told you that tonight you would have to do the marital act. Try to make a baby.

——————————————————————————

It was after the wedding; you were sitting on your new bed in your new house. You were waiting for Carlos. Your hair was down now and you were dressed in a simple nightgown and robe.

Carlos entered the room.

Carlos's touch is a little rough as he runs his fingers over your cheek. Despite his outward show of affection, there's a hint of disinterest in his eyes. He's going through the motions of your wedding night, fulfilling the obligations of his arranged marriage.

He takes a step closer to you, his hands now on your shoulders. He looks down at you with a detached expression, as if you’re just another object to be used and discarded.

Carlos's hands move down your arms, his touch becoming more possessive. He pulls you close to him, your bodies pressed together. You can feel the heat radiating off of him, but it's not the same as the heat of desire.

He leans in and kisses your neck, his lips cold and almost perfunctory. He's going through the motions of foreplay, but there's no passion behind his actions.

Carlos's hands continue to wander over your body, but his touch is clinical and impersonal. He's more focused on getting what he wants, rather than pleasing you.

He pushes you onto the bed, his movements rough and demanding. You feel a mixture of fear and excitement as he hovers over you, his eyes cold and calculating.

Carlos's hands push up your nightgown, revealing your bare legs. He runs his fingers over your skin, his touch sending shivers down your spine. Despite his disinterest, you can feel herself responding to his touch, your body betraying you.

He leans down and whispers in your ear, his breath hot against your skin.

"You're mine now."

Carlos's lips move down your neck, leaving a trail of kisses and nips as he goes. His hands continue to explore your body, moving higher and higher until they reach the edge of your underwear.

He looks up at you, his eyes cold and detached, but there's a hint of triumph in his gaze. He knows he has complete control over you now.

Carlos slides his hand under your underwear, his fingers finding their way to your most sensitive spot. He begins to rub you slowly, his movements rough and unyielding.

You let out a soft gasp, your body arching into his touch despite your misgivings. You can feel the pleasure building inside of you, but you know that this is just a means to an end for him.

Carlos increases the pace of his movements, his fingers now moving with a relentless rhythm. You can feel yourself getting closer to the edge, your body betraying you once again.

He leans down and kisses you roughly, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth. You can taste the bitter tang of his indifference, but you’re too lost in the sensations to care.

Carlos pulls away from the kiss, his breathing ragged. He looks down at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of possession and contempt.

He grabs your hips and flips you over, forcing you onto your hands and knees. you can feel the cool air against your exposed skin, making you shiver.

Carlos positions himself behind you, his hands gripping your hips tightly. You can feel the weight of him as he pushes into you, the sensation both pleasurable and uncomfortable.

He begins to move, his thrusts rough and unyielding. You buries your face in the pillow, trying to muffle your moans and sobs.

Carlos continues to thrust into you, his pace brutal and unforgiving. He's not holding back, taking what he wants from you with no regard for your pleasure or pain.

You feel a mix of shame and desire coursing through your veins, your body betraying you once again. Despite the rough treatment, you can feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

Carlos's grip on your hips tightens, his fingers digging into your flesh as he nears his own climax. He lets out a low growl, his body tensing as he pushes deeper and harder into you.

You feel a sudden rush of pleasure as you finally reaches your peak, your body shuddering with release. But the moment is short-lived, as Carlos continues to thrust into you without regard for your sensitivity.

Carlos continues to pound into you, his movements becoming more and more erratic. You can feel the warmth of his release as he finally finds his own climax, spilling himself inside of you.

He collapses on top of you, his weight pressing you down into the mattress. You feel a mix of exhaustion and humiliation wash over you, the reality of what just happened sinking in.

Carlos rolls off of you, panting heavily. He lies there for a moment, his eyes closed as he catches his breath.

You turn your head to look at him, feeling a pang of disgust mixed with a strange sense of satisfaction. Despite the rough treatment, you can't deny that it felt good in the moment.

Carlos opens his eyes and looks over at you, his expression unreadable. He reaches out and runs a hand over your back, his touch surprisingly gentle.

You flunch at his touch, still feeling raw and exposed from what just happened. You can feel him leaking out of you, a reminder of your consummated marriage.

Carlos pulls his hand away, his expression turning cold once more. He gets up from the bed and starts to gather his clothes, dressing quickly and efficiently.

He doesn't look at you as he finishes getting dressed, acting as if you’re not even there.

Once he's fully dressed, Carlos turns to look at you. you’re still lying on the bed, feeling exposed and vulnerable. He looks you up and down, his eyes roaming over your body.

For a moment, there's a flicker of something in his gaze, something that almost looks like regret. But it's gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by his usual cold indifference.

Carlos clears his throat, breaking the silence that has settled over the room.

"I'll see you in the morning," he says, his voice emotionless. Without another word, he turns, places his mother's old pearls on her nightstand, and walks out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and feelings.

@formulas-bitch

[juniperhillpatient]

I have talked about this a lot before but it’s on my mind & also it’s something that really should be discussed more in Buffy fandom -

People are constantly talking about how Spike defies all the rules Buffy was taught about demons & vampires & rightfully so. A vampire falling in love with a slayer & fighting for his soul for her is such a romantic notion & I do love it but the nuance of Spike’s arc is even more interesting than that! He does love Buffy but not only that he befriends the Scoobies too. He brings flowers for Joyce after she dies. He helps prove that Tara is not a demon when her family tries to gaslight her & isolate her. He becomes a pseudo big brother to Dawn.

And yet none of that is even what I’m here to talk about! Spike IS a hero & he does have a long spanning redemption arc before the soul (& we’re NOT here to talk about Seeing Red right now, as usual that topic is too expansive & requires its own post) that should be acknowledged & his character is rightfully praised but he is NOT the only exception to vampires having nuance & it drives me crazy that we act like he is. The Judge isn’t just talking to Spike when he says this:

“You TWO.” He’s talking about Drusilla too! He says that they share affection & jealousy. That Angelus in his total sociopathic lack of human emotion is the odd one here.

Then you have things like this -

Conversations with Dead People has Buffy sharing a very long & deep conversation with an old acquaintance turned vampire. And it’s far from the only example in universe of a vampire retaining some sense of camaraderie with people from their life!

That’s right this entire rant has been a lead up to talk about my best girly Harmony Kendall. You’ve fallen for my ruse if you’ve read this far muahaha! Admittedly Harmony’s strongest moments are mostly unfortunately on Angel but even in season four of Buffy when she dates Spike she is clearly intended at times to be sympathetic. Season 4 is also interesting because we see a lot interactions between various gangs of vampires like Harmony’s so-called minions & even Sundays gang where they’re very much evil but also sharing in living (existing?) space & acting like bickering roommates or siblings. Like creatures with bonds & personalities & intricacies.

The point I’m trying to make is that the show never truly wants to grapple with the existence of Spike in all his nuance but it’s also not just about him! In general there is so much to grapple with in the idea that vampires can change & be redeemed & I’m not saying I’m anti scary evil vampires I’m just saying the universe gave us these hints of nuance & then the characters never grappled with it & that’s lame. For Buffy killing things that have a shot at redemption however small would be a major emotional blow if she ever addressed it! Especially in her season 5 “am I just a killer 🥺” arc. Let’s deal with the implications!

Let’s deal with Xander’s trauma about killing Jessie & just how much it would/should hurt for him to see Spike increasingly choose good & work with the Scoobies. I would LOVE to know Xander’s reaction to Harmony’s arc on Angel or Cordelia befriending her & letting her go ina world where the writing acknowledges that he drove a stake through his best friends heart!

It’s just that the writers accidentally complicated their own lore & then totally refused to ever let their characters address what the cracks in the stories they tell themselves mean. Giles says that a vampire is no longer the person but instead the thing that killed them. What’s scarier: the idea that your loved one was killed & something wears their face like a mask OR much more insane (to me) the idea that your loved one came back very wrong but it’s still them? Your brother eats people now but he still remembers how you like your eggs & can quote every episode of the cartoon you watched as kids. Your mom murdered that woman from the PTA who always talked too much in cold blood but she still remembers the recipe for your favorite pancakes. The show wanted scary vampires but it got so caught up in never addressing the infinitely more complex & scarier vampires it accidentally created & sticking to the more simplistic initial idea that it did both the characters & lore very dirty. And I’ll never shut up about it!!!

[writerslittlelibrary]

Were you expecting someone?

masterlist

summary: thinking it’s a day like any other, you simply busy yourself with some homework and your hobbies, until there’s suddenly a gun pointed at your head

pairing: Natasha x daughter reader, Yelena x niece reader, Melina & Alexei x granddaughter reader

warnings: a gun? 

genre: fluff

words: 1265

a/n: I thought there should be way more content about the Widow family. I love to see more of the concept of Melina and Alexei with a grandchild

You do not have my permission to repost, copy or translate my work 

 |——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

When you woke up this morning, you were not expecting the situation you were currently in. Because you were wearing your headphones, you had not heard anyone enter the house. Your mom told you she would be gone until late afternoon, and while you were busying yourself with some drawings, you had completely forgotten the time.

Not that it mattered, really. Usually, when your mom comes home she’d always let you know, whether she’d send you a text or simply come into your room and say hi. 

This situation however, was slightly different. One moment you were peacefully sketching some ideas you were working on, and the next moment you could feel the cold metal of a gun pressed against your temple. You slowly looked up from your sketchbook, not making any sudden movements. 

You thought the woman in the room was simply another Widow from the Red Room, sent to assassinate you. You’d been dealing with those ever since you escaped two years ago. 

When you didn’t feel the woman relax her grip on the gun, nor feeling a bullet piercing your skull, you decided to handle the situation yourself. You turned around swiftly, grabbing the gun and pulling it towards yourself, managing to yank the woman forward and knee her in the gut. You pushed her to the side, holding the gun tightly as she let it go in surprise. 

She made a move quickly, hitting you across the face. You replied by swiping her legs from under her, letting her fall to the ground as you ran out the room. 

You made a run to the stairs, moving to get down as fast as possible. When you did, you saw two other people standing in the living room. It was a man and a younger woman. She couldn’t have been older than 25. 

Your eyes widened in surprise as you made a move to run to the front door. You could hear the woman from upstairs making her way down as well. Once you reached the door however, it opened, revealing your mom standing in the doorway holding some groceries. 

She smiled at you, then frowned when she saw blood on your face. 

“We have to go,” you said quickly, grabbing her hand and trying to run away. She however, didn’t move. You turned around to see her stifling a laugh. 

“Were you expecting someone?” you asked her, letting go of her hand and looking at her. “I’m sorry,” she just told you, letting a laugh escape. 

She grabbed your arm and dragged you into the living room, setting her bags down before pushing you onto a chair, making a move to grab the first aid kit. “Natasha, Who is that?” you heard the woman from before ask in a strong Russian accent. “I should have warned you,” she said, sitting next to you and carefully cleaning up the blood from your face. 

“Yeah, you really should have,” you told, wincing slightly when she pressed the alcohol cloth onto the wound. 

“I’m not too pleased you injured her though,” Natasha told the woman. “She attacked first,” the woman replied. You frowned and looked at the woman. “You held a gun to my head!” you told her. The younger woman grinned, clearly finding the situation amusing. 

“Y/N, meet my family, guys, meet my daughter,” Natasha said, putting a band-aid on your forehead before cleaning up the things she used, stashing the first aid kit back into the cupboard it came from. 

“How?” the younger woman simply asked, sitting down on the other side of you. “Dreykov created her using my eggs after I was sterilized. I didn’t know about her until two years ago,” Natasha explained, grabbing you a glass of water to help with the headache she knew was going to form. 

You thanked her for the water and looked at the other two people standing in the room. They hadn’t made a move to sit down yet. 

“Y/N, meet Melina, Alexei and Yelena,” Natasha introduced, motioning to the person she meant when she said their name. “Yelena’s my sister-” “And now an aunt too,” Yelena interrupted, also having a heavy Russian accent. She seemed ecstatic by that fact. You smiled at her and simply drank some of your water. “Are you going to stand and glare or…” you said slowly, referring to Melina and Alexei. 

Slowly they sat down. The moment they did, Alexei smiled. “Welcome to the family!” he said excitedly, motioning his hands up a little. 

Melina now smiled too, getting up and moving towards the fridge. “We need to celebrate,” she simply said as she opened it and reached for a bottle of vodka. She opened some cupboards until she found the one holding the glasses, and grabbed some shot glasses. 

She put them on the table and filled them. There were five of them, but you decided not too say anything. Natasha would never let you drink it anyway.

Melina put a glass in front of everyone, you included. 

She lifted her glass, as if to make a little toast. “Welcome to the family,” she said as she drank the vodka. Yelena and Alexei did the same, while you just looked at Natasha and smiled awkwardly. 

She returned your smile, grabbing her own shot of vodka and drinking it. You didn’t touch yours. “You are not drinking?” Melina asked, stating the obvious. You smiled at her and shook your head. “I’m 16,” you told her, and Melina frowned. 

“So?” 

“We’re in the United States… It's illegal here. Besides, it's like three pm…” you told her, glancing at the clock. “It is always good time for a drink,” Melina simply replied, pouring herself another glass. You smiled and grabbed your water, finishing the glass. Of course you drank vodka before. You were a Russian after all, but your mother didn’t need to know that.

After Yelena swiped your glass and drank it herself, you turned to your mother. “Can I go now?” you asked, wanting to get out of the awkward family get together. 

Natasha smiled and nodded. You got up from your chair and made your way upstairs, immediately jumping onto your bed and grabbing your phone, wanting to tell Wanda everything that just happened. 

You talked with Wanda on the phone for a while, explaining how Melina had you at gunpoint and about how bad you felt you threw her on the ground. Wanda laughed at certain things you told her, feeling as though it was a situation you could both laugh about, and you didn’t actually feel bad about something. You two talked for a few hours, simply enjoying hearing the other talk. Then Wanda had to go, saying her dinner she ordered had arrived. 

A few minutes after hanging up the phone, you heard a knock on your door. When it opened Yelena walked inside. 

“So this is your room huh?” Yelena said as she looked around your room, picking up some stuff and flipping through your sketchbook. “Cool,” she said, sitting down on your desk chair. “Natasha told me to come get you because the food is here.”

“Thanks,” you told her, rolling from the middle of the bed to the side, so you could plug your phone into its charger and get up. 

“I think we’ll be good friends,” Yelena said, getting up herself and exiting your room, followed by you. You smiled. This definitely wasn’t how you expected meeting Natasha’s family, had you known about them, but you couldn’t deny you were excited to get to know them better. 

[krahk]

Blood for Ruin

Part One : Part Two

Masterlist

Alastor x OFC/Reader (no use of Y/N)

Part Three

(Or Alastor learns it’s never to late learn your kinks, hell welcomes all)

18+ from here on out to be safe.

Warnings: entering smutty content near the end, written by an amateur. No smutty smut, but it’s beginning from here on out. I am opening that can of worms.

__

You really hoped you were harder to kill in hell, because these people simply had no sense of preservation of life in them. First full day in hell and you had been invited to a BDSM club, thrown off of a roof and hid from gunfire trying to keep the creepy little janitor from jumping into the crossfires. Trust exercises were not supposed to be life threatening, but the mania of the day had certainly made it harder for you to focus on your situation for the time being. Back at the hotel you gratefully accepted a drink from Husk as the group recapped the day they had just gone through. For a bunch of terrible sinners, they were pretty alright. Like when you were all alive, the group of you was simply trying to get by day by day.

You had learned that Angel was a porn star in Hell, Nifty’s kinks were both frightening and dangerous (mostly to her, but still), Husk you were certain liked nobody, and Vaggie was an aggressive woman who had no issues throwing you through the fire if she thought it would make you a better person on the other side.

You supposed there were worse people to attach yourself to given your situation. Part of you was grateful that you landed in a place that offered you a place to stay, food to eat with a generous host who made sure you were dressed and comfortable all around. Even though you had processed your death fairly quickly (that was normal, according to Angel) you did know that you could have it so much worse and be dealing with everything alone.

Grateful that everyone was heading to their own quarters when Alastor had returned with the little egg creatures, you made sure to avoid hovering your attention in his direction and ran upstairs after Angel, who had the room next to yours. While passing by Alastors room he had pointed a finger towards his open mouth and gagged, to which you could only respond with a forced chuckle. You waved goodnight to him as you opened your room door and found yourself falling onto the bed and passing out before your head even hit the pillow. Day one, over.

After a few weeks of Hell, you had settled into a comfortable routine. In the mornings you would join the others in the lounge for breakfast and coffee, you would all chat and discuss the next redemption plans before everyone would set off on their own plans for the day if Charlie and Vaggie didn’t have an exercise planned. You still had not left the safety of the building, knowing from your first day that it was strictly mean streets out there. Charlie had grabbed you a few more articles of clothing to complete your meagre wardrobe, and you were not picky in the slightest so you accepted your role as a doll she could dress up. She had picked a lot of modest, but cute A-line dresses, shorter skirts with turtlenecks, a suit - she had a clear preference of clothing seeing as your new items closely resembled her and Vaggie’s overall style. One thing you were grateful for was that the shoes she chose you didn’t require you to wear socks. Like your arms, your legs were black from the end of your limbs until your joint, where the black faded after it passed the knee. So it always looked like you were wearing little stockings. In your time in Hell getting comfortable in your new skin you had also discovered a scattering of black and white freckles on your shoulders and upper arms. You found yourself to be one of the luckier sinners, because your feet were still feet. Many souls like yours had come to hell with hooved feet, but you received a tail instead, which was not quite as common.

Angel had been your link to the world outside, he was constantly on his phone and for some lucky reason the underworld had a similar system of communication like earth. Cell phones, social media, advertisements, etc. It was truly not a far cry from what you knew. He had given you an older phone of his to use, the hotel members being the only contacts in your phone (minus Nifty & Alastor, for which you were grateful) and the two of you texted on the daily, him quickly becoming the closest member of the group to you. Even though Husk was the most recent being to die aside from you, Angel was the most willing to adapt to change. He effortlessly weaved through this complicated lifestyle with ease. He was confident, smart, and an all around great guy. If he would consider easing up on the partying and perhaps manage a way to distance himself from his industry he really would be an excellent candidate for redemption.

Alastor had still not spoken with you since your initial confrontation. Not that you were complaining but it was getting to the point that Angel had noticed his distance from you. It was if he was deliberately avoiding any chance that the two of you would end up in the same room. When asked about the radio, you found that even if you wanted to mention what you thought were unimportant details of it, your tongue snapped to the bottom of your mouth, preventing words from coming out. You had lamely said it was a motel item that got caught in your descent and you really had no idea why it followed you. Charlie had simply declared that possessions must occasionally follow a soul, but usually souls don’t fall in a space with decent people who won’t steal your stuff. It was simply considered an anomaly and after the first week thankfully people seemed to forget about it.

And while Alastor might have prevented you from mentioning anything to anyone about the symbols that were in the radio, it didn’t prevent you from researching the symbols. Charlie had a very extensive collection of books in the hotel library that you had been working your way through. Since you had no job and minimal expectations, you were sifting through the books quickly. And because Angel had left in a rush for a shoot earlier in the morning, your recent hobby started a few hours earlier than usual. You had made your way through a large portion of the ‘Historical Literature’ section before hearing a commotion outside of the library. With your ears being so sensitive it was easy for you to not make a sound while honing in on what was being said. It was more Husk and Angel bickering, but this one sounded worse than usual, ending with Angel storming out of the hotel and Vaggie immediately harping on Husk about his behaviour.

You shot a quick message to Angel by text, getting a read notification but no response. Oof, he was really in a mood. You sent another one telling him you were there when he was ready and a heart emoji, which resulted in a heart being sent in return. Husk had followed him shortly after so you weren’t too worried about how his night would go.

You had started sifting through the next category of books, which appeared to be something of a ‘Human Magic’ section. It appeared to start right at the beginning of humanity’s creation, which meant this was another hefty subject you’d have to filter through. You were only going shelf by shelf because you had started with ‘Runework’, ‘Salem Witchcraft’ and ‘Hell’s Overlords’, hoping to find the information right away with no luck.

Your phone vibrated and you absentmindedly opened the message from Angel, and your stomach dropped.

‘I need help.’

You tried calling and the phone went straight to voicemail, disconnecting as his mailbox was full. You shot out of the library and looked around. With Husk going after Angel, was he in trouble as well? Damn you wished Husk carried a phone. Vaggie and Charlie were also absent from the hotel or at least very very quiet with whatever they were doing.

You decided there was no time to hesitate and you went out the front door, running straight for the Vee’s district in an attempt to remember every bar that Angel had mentioned frequenting in the past. He was a famous porn star, surely someone had noticed the giant spider passing by them on the street. It wasn’t as if he was capable of being a wallflower after all.

You had started into a light jog as soon as you hit main street, the people out and about making you nervous. You were grateful that your new form allowed you to run without any difficulty, the benefits of being a deer hybrid being in your favour today. You ran quickly towards the bright district, making it there in a short period of time, and merging with a larger crowd entering. It seemed dangerous making it obvious that you were out on your own. You were due for trouble after all, it had been a fairly calm life since keeping your distance from him.

The group you had followed went straight into an arcade bar. Great. You were certain that Angel wasn’t here, games weren’t his thing but the giant windows peering into the establishment made it easy to recognize that he wasn’t present. You had made it a few blocks before trying to call Angel again, with it still failing. During your second attempt you noticed that there were a few people heading your way on the sidewalk so you shrunk over to the edge of the building to give them room to move past you.

But you found yourself bumping into one of them who deliberately stayed in your path, and when you looked at their face you came eye to eye with a wolf demon smiling and growling down at you. You glanced around you and noticed that you were surrounded by two additional wolves and your back pressed against the wall behind you in an attempt to create some space away from them.

“Hey baby,” The one you ran into started, “Eager for a good time? Can’t keep your hands off of me?” The other two laughed, one even licking his lips before his friend continued. ”You look cute, how about we find some privacy?” He stepped towards you with his arm reaching for yours and you took a step away, right into the other wolf. Shit. The three laughed at you shoving the one aside and walking backwards to try and make a gap, but they were advancing quickly. Panicking, you threw the only thing you had on you - the phone - with which the corner smacked one of them squarely in the eye, making him shout in pain. Another jumped at you and you quickly dodged his lunge by bracing a hand on his head and leaping over him to start into a sprint once your feet hit the ground.

Note for next time: Heels are super cute, but super terrible to run in, because they caught up to you quickly, despite your quick escape. One wolf immediately punched you in the face, causing your nose to have a minor explosion of blood shoot out of it, which made your brain rattle.

”You might just be cuter like this,” One guy said, pulling your arm so hard you lost your balance and was dragging behind him as the three took you into the closest alleyway. “We could have had a nice night, but you had to go and fuck it up. Now you’ll get what’s coming to ya.” The one who held your arm roughly lifted you back to your feet and slammed you against the brick wall, making your head hit it just as hard. It was getting hard to think about a way out, your head was so foggy.

“Hey this bitch was texting Angel Dust!” One of the guys said, probably the one who had her phone thrown to his face. “She’s got to be a dirty slut! Have you seen any of his shit? It’s messed up man, we got ourselves a wild one here!” He cheered, whooping with the other demon who wasn’t holding you up. You made eye contact with your captor and he was growling low with a sinister smile on his face.

”Lucky us! Prime meat for free? Baby I’ll make your night better than anyone you’ve ever been w-“ his words were cut off, as his neck suddenly had a black tentacle wrapped around it, squeezing so hard his eyeballs were protruding out of their sockets. You fell to your ass, legs bent on the ground, hands trying to steady your swaying head. Looking over you saw the bodies of the other wolves, already separated into a few pieces, some appendages being swung around by the tentacles.

Looking forward you noticed who came to your rescue. It was Alastor, and he was pissed. Thankfully not at you, although you certainly had a concussion so there was a chance you were misinterpreting the situation. He said something to your assaulter about how to be a gentleman and ‘perhaps he would discover how to treat a lady in his next life’ before all the tentacles had wrapped about his and his friends bodies before disappearing with them into the ground. Your surroundings now quiet except for your heavy breathing, you watched Alastor take even, steady steps towards your fallen form.

“Well now! Haven’t you got yourself in a bit of trouble, hmm?” He taunted, entirely too chipper. Closing one eye and squinting the other to avoid seeing double, you noticed that he had blood on his face, under his nose, which you apparently pointed at, because he raised a brow and questioned it.

”Blood on your face.” You said with a bit of a slur, “S’little bit here.” And pointed to your own nose, fingers getting coated in blood. His hand reached up to his face and he touched his nose, only for blood to begin to flow from it. Shocked, he grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at it while he frowned at you before offering a second handkerchief to you. You shook your head, well tried too, and said something about being sleepy.

”Now, now, sleeping after a head injury is most certainly bad for you!” He chirped, putting his handkerchiefs away now that his face was clean. He leaned over to inspect your injuries, taking note of your head and nose specifically.

“Care to explain why you are wandering about on your own my dear? Itching for a second death?” He asked in a condescending manner. “Quite foolish of you really, to come without an escort - why you are quite lucky I happened to be around, darling!” He waved his hand about in a dramatic fashion before offering his hand to you, lifting you up. On your feet you dusted off what rubble had got on you, found your phone settled on the ground a few feet away and began to try and walk to it only to find that your balance was way off course. With one hand holding your head you reached for your phone, noticing new texts from Angel.

‘with my script later, are you free?’ Followed with: ‘Sorry babe! That first message didn’t send all the way, love ya xoxo’

For fuck sakes.

”Hmm?”Alastor hummed, looking down at your phone, reading the messages. “Oh-ho! So you were on a rescue mission were you? Noble indeed, considering your naivety and lack of knowledge of any part of Hell outside the hotel.”

You shot him a nasty glance. “I was worried.” Augh. Pathetic response.

“Very stupid thing to do, really.” Picking at one of his claws, attempting to be indifferent. “Very stupid indeed, especially since I have just had an unfortunate revelation.”

”Hmm?” You responded, still trying to get the throbbing in your head to settle down. “I know it was stupid,” agreeing with him made him in a good mood, Husk had told you, “But I had to try and find him, I don’t think he has many people to depend on.”

He gave you a look of contempt. He really did not care for anyone other than himself.

“You and I need to have a chat darling.” His eyes narrowed as he wrapped a hand around your upper arm, painfully putting pressure on a new bruise from the previous baddie. He dragged you alongside him, holding you so close to him you could feel the heat of his body through his jacket. “Say nothing until we make it to the hotel my dear, there are always eyes on us out here.” He gestured with his microphone cane in a wide sweep, indicating literally every where could be listening. You obeyed him by not responding which kept Alastor in a good mood during the walk home.

However upon arrival, he dragged your sorry ass through his shadow travel again, but thankfully to your room. More specifically your bathroom. He gestured for you to sit down, which you did on the edge of the tub, and watched him gather a pathetic amount of first aid. He removed his coat and rolled up the sleeve of his right hand, almost all the way up to the elbow. You noticed his arms were covered in scars that stood out from his black skin that was similar to your own pattern, except fading away before the joint of his elbow. The scars were all thin and bright white, a stark contrast. However what he was looking at intensely was a large bruise that had formed right below his elbow, right above the fade of his black skin. He then turned to you and grabbed your right arm and lined up the two. You had a much darker bruise that matched his. Weird. Didn’t Pentious say that no one had landed a hit on Alastor before? And that a small piece of coat was all he himself had managed to get? So how did those stupid wolves get up on him? And when?

The room had a massive chill fill the air as Alastor processed what he was thinking. What was he thinking? Could you talk now? Should you? You should at least thank him.

”Thank-“

”Quiet.” he interrupted. No filter on his voice for that one. Just a deep, sharp command.

Your lips tightened into a thin line and you nodded despite your killer headache. He released your arm and went back to the counter. With his jacket off you could see that he, too, had a small deer tail on his backside. It was red and black, much like his hair. It was probably the only cute thing about him, and you’d die before you said that out loud. Alastor came back to you with a warm wet cloth and some antiseptic. He instructed you to wipe up the blood on your face and he wiped a few of your more surface scrapes that were on your legs and knees. You narrowed your own eyes, why on earth was he doing this? It was as if he was trying to memorise every little injury you had received. Once you felt as if you had removed all the dried blood from your face you braced both hands on either side of you as you watched Alastor tend to your wounds. When he was quiet and focused he wasn’t too terribly frightening, but in the way that a poisonous snake might be. Obviously dangerous, possibly venomous, and could certainly kill you given the chance, but still captivating to watch. He released a huff of air when he was done checking out your head, just a bump he said, he moved to your nose. He had gently grasped your chin and moved your head from side to side, where he traced some of the worst damage with his free hand.

“Not broken, my dear, but guaranteed to have a couple of black eyes by this evening.” He announced. “You shall not be leaving your room until you have healed or found a way to cover those up.” Man was he bossy. He put his coat back on and leaned into the mirror to check his own face before tapping the floor with his microphone for your attention. His shadows enveloped the small room, and it was as if you were sitting on a void of nothingness, large symbols hovering around you in green. And just as quick as the dark arrived it disappeared with another few taps from his cane.

“Preventative measures darling, we cannot have anyone listening in on us.”

”Uhh…okay? Okay. Why?” Why are you so creepy?

”Creepy keeps the fear alive darling.” Well shit, that last bit was said out loud. Stupid concussion. “I think it is time to discuss the Radio, because you have proven to be a thorn in my side that I cannot simply be rid of with my usual methods.”

You nod along with each word slowly and focus on the last bit - the usual methods? “Do you mean eating people?” the statement escaped your loose lips, feeling drunk from the head injury .

His smile turned even more wicked if that was a possibility, eyes and teeth glowing like dim lamps. “Among other things…” He trailed off, closing his eyes and being sure to cock his head up in a very proud manner. He seemed pleased you had heard some of the more…graphic methods of dealing with other demons. His cool composure only lasted a moment. Once he opened his eyes, his mood was icy, eyes sharp and narrowed as he came a little closer without overwhelming your personal space and spoke bluntly, radio voice effect gone, “It appears as if you have linked our souls into an agreement that even I am unable to break.” He stared into your eyes, his fury palpable. You frowned in response out of both confusion and fear.

“What do you mean? I don’t even know who you are! I still don’t know who you are, how can we possibly be…like that…?” You ended lamely, hands wildly gesturing between the two of you. He had surely made a mistake, because this sort of thing just didn’t happen. Besides, you had only met him after death, so there was simply a misunderstanding. You shook your head in denial, causing blood to leak out of one nostril.

“A-hem” He said, getting your focus back on his face. His nose, same nostril, now had a slow trail of blood trickling out. He stood straight and a handkerchief appeared in his hand to dap his face while you grabbed some bathroom tissue off the roll beside you. It was hard to meet his eyes as it was obvious he was upset with you.

Attempting to end the silence, you spoke up. “Did you get hit as well? Your nose has been bleeding just as much as mine.” His eyebrows arched so high it was lost within his hairline, the stretched skin the only visual evidence of his reaction.

“No. I do not get hit.” He scoffed. “This is a result of the damage you incurred today my dear.”

Your lack of reaction, compounded with the cold molasses that was currently your brain, made him sigh and begin his explanation.

”The Radio was mine as a young man. It never worked quite right, so I was constantly repairing it. But this was before my Radio Show! So fixing instead of purchasing new was all I could do at the time. I would have kept it forever if I could, it was one of the only things my mother had given me on her own.” He had started picking under his middle finger with his thumbnail, trying to appear indifferent to his admission. You caught on to the way his voice softened when his mother was mentioned but you weren’t inviting death over tonight so you kept a straight face.

“Just before my career took off, I had been dabbling with some other gifts that came from my mothers side. Her ancestors were practitioners of creole magic, something that I am familiar with, but not proficient enough to use in my day to day.” Eyes back to you, he continued on. “The symbols in the radio were a deal I made with it, naively, early on in my practising. I was certain I would become a radio star, first of my kind, and well, sometimes we do questionable things while drinking.” He rolled his eyes at that, resulting in a smirk on your own face. “A friend and I had quite a night out! She knocked my radio over and the back panel came off. I cut myself on a stray piece of metal inside, cutting myself quite deep-“ He opened his palm with the scar to stare into it. “Beyond my better judgement I wrote, in my own blood, symbols I was not familiar with and apparently created unfinished magic that was only completed and sealed when your blood went over my runes.”

Still confused, you gave him a look that caused him to roll his eyes at you, as if you were the malicious force at play here and continued.

”What was a foolish act of an immature man at the end of a bottle of rye has now tethered our souls together. Akin to,” he shuddered, “Soulmates. However where fate might have chosen different paths for our souls, we have become united through dark magic powered behind the power I hold now, which is significantly stronger than when I wrote the symbols within the machine.” His smile was tight, still present as always, but certainly not the smile of a happy man.

But wait - “I don’t have any magic though, so why…?” You started, trying to steer the conversation away from the dreaded admission of the demon.

“Your being has little to no effect, my dear. The deal I was attempting to make with the Radio relied on magic supplied by me and me alone, as one cannot make a Radio respond to such a request.” One hand came up to his temple to put pressure on it, like you would do when you had a headache. “Foolish, foolish man.” He said, quickly and quietly, your ears picking it up as if he made no attempt to remain unheard. “And because the deal was made in blood, with the same instrument, on the same hand, even - I suspect that blood is our tether. Some link love or minds, so they can reciprocate feelings and thoughts to a person of their choice. And due to my being well, dead, the only thing we were able to link was our blood. In layman’s terms, darling - you bleed, I bleed. Your blood rushes to an impact, my blood rushes to an impact. You blush and, augh, etc. Do you understand?”

”Yes. But that honestly sounds ridiculous, and would be hard to believe if I didn’t die and land in hell a month ago. But I will admit, my knowledge of creole magic is absolutely zero, straight up nothing, so this was honestly just an unfortunate…mistake, that we can possibly undo?” You said with hesitancy at the end, but Alastor shook his head before you were even done speaking.

“I have looked into it extensively, and I am afraid it is not something we can separate - not even with Death. You die, I die. And I have far too much unfinished business to bow down to death just yet.”

“Oh, super duper!” You replied, chipper like Charlie. His face dropped at your tone, frowning down at you.

“No, not ‘super duper’, finger quotes around his snarky repetition, “Quite terrible for me actually. You have become my greatest liability. I am not worried I will get either of us in any kind of danger, but as we have both learned this evening, you are incapable of even walking on your own without getting into trouble.” His microphone now bracing both of his hands in front of his body.

Well excuse you for being a basic, simple individual without knowing everything about everything in the whole wide world, and also not knowing anything about the thing that Alastor told you not to talk about? This guy was an asshole on so many levels that you missed when he just left you alone.

”Well, I’m sorry that you’re stuck with me, because it was totally my plan for this to happen.” Giving him a deadpanned look that made him smile tighter out of…well, you didn’t really know. He wasn’t that easy to read when he wasn’t angry.

“That is quite enough funny business for today, I am afraid that your galavanting around Hell will stop immediately. You will stay within the confines of this hotel. You will stay in your room during the extermination-“

”This is bullshit! I am a free person to do whatever! You can’t control me like this-“ He was growing again, filling the small bathroom with his demonic figure.

“Foolish girl, I can do whatever I want with you!” He growled, tendrils coming up from the shadowed ground to wrap themselves around your calves and wrists, another wrapping itself in your hair to control your head, forcing you to look right into his demonic eyes.

“I have been kind, considering your unfortunate and pathetic self has been on my nerves since the moment you arrived. You are a senseless creature who-“ he choked on his words, pausing as his smile lowered. You were breathing much harder now, and suddenly it made sense why you were so unbothered by the BDSM club Angel brought the group to. This was turning you on, being helpless and controlled by such a force like Alastor. Still staring at each other face to face, you could see a blush start to spread like a brand across his cheeks. His breath began to match yours, and you shifted your ass that was still seated on the bathtub edge in a vain attempt to get comfortable. In record time you had become wet from the situation. You were turned on, girl, and he was feeling the same effects. Wherever the blood rushes was no lie.

You started to laugh at the situation, manically as you realised what had happened. He was still frozen in place, clearly unsure of how to proceed. He needed to teach you a lesson, to know who was in charge of this unwanted union but obviously this was doing nothing but cause your blood to rush to your cunt, because he felt a pressure almost unfamiliar to him below his navel. He was disgusted that you were causing this reaction from him, he was an elevated creature with no need for carnal pleasures. And now you were laughing at him.

The tendrils released from your person so quickly that the movement caused you to slide back into the tub, hitting the bottom of the tub with your ass, but catching the sides with your elbows to prevent your head from smacking backwards. Alastor had returned to his usual form, blush still visible on his cheeks but definitely going away as you yourself had woken from your horny stupor.

“I believe I have made my point. Perhaps I am being far too protective of you, we will have to discuss a proper method to exist in spite of our situation. I expect reasonable suggestions when we revisit the topic. For now I will leave you be, as your injuries have been attended to and have already begun the healing process. Does all of this sound reasonable to you?” Wow, how quickly the tables have turned, being turned on was obviously not something he had thought of dealing with, and it was easy to get you going. Certainly more so now that you had so much more peach fuzz on your skin as a deer hybrid - you were extra sensitive to any touch. Perhaps that was why Alastor disliked physical touch as well? Your smiling of this thought clearly made him wary of you at this moment. He repeated his last sentence again.

”Yes, Alastor, it sounds reasonable. We can talk about a game plan later, and I promise I will try to make it as easy as possible.”

He nodded at your answer and narrowed his eyes with a slight smile, “Good Girl.”

You felt the shocking return of arousal at those words and released a very small “oh!”, and he sank into his shadows immediately, leaving you alone in the bathtub bruised and turned on.

Well, turns out you had a praise kink too.

***********

First three parts is over 11K word wise. I can’t stop writing, I’m at 32k now, I just keep plugging away editing/writing/thinking. I’m so grateful for all the likes and comments.

@queermaxwooo @drawings-by-meh @sirens-and-moonflowers @looking1016

[winterdaphne2]

Gay Easter Eggs in BBC Sherlock

(I trust the above requires no explanation.)

Perhaps someone has done this before, but I wanted to put together a compilation of gay easter eggs in the show that I’ve seen other people point out and/or have thoughts on myself. So here it is!

When I say “easter eggs,” I’m thinking of small clues that the show creators included in the set designs, music choices, and other details of the show to reference that Sherlock and John are in love. I’m thinking of things you could miss at first, especially little clues that often require a bit of extra information or require observations across episodes to understand.

Of course, there’s also lots of subtext woven into the show, moments where interpreting the dialogue or visuals in a certain way tells us something about Sherlock, John, and/or the state of their feelings for one another. I’m not sure if I can clearly define “subtext” versus “easter eggs” and explain what distinguishes them, but at least to me, several of the things I’ve listed here seem a bit different from what people often refer to as subtext. Maybe subtext is about uncovering the layers to a piece of dialogue or an action that takes place in plain sight and seeing how that impacts our interpretation of the story, but easter eggs are about spotting smaller, hidden details. I’m not trained in literary or film studies, though, and I’m not trying to be doctrinaire about this at all! This list is just for fun, anyway. (The above image might not actually count as an easter egg, but I couldn’t resist including it here. Indulge me.)

The more I read about this show and the harder I look, the more I think that hardly anything is there on accident. All these easter eggs must have been included on purpose. The creators knew they were telling a love story all along.

I’ve linked to the posts where I initially saw people point these out or to other good sources, and for some of these I’ve added my own commentary/observations/interpretations. I’m sure there are many other easter eggs that I’ve missed! What have you spotted?

John’s PIN in TBB – When John tries to pay for his groceries at the beginning of the episode, we see that his PIN is 743. In ASIB, Irene’s code to unlock her phone is SHER, which would be 7437 on a phone keypad. So, John’s PIN is a clue that he is or will be in love with Sherlock. Source: @loudest-subtext-in-tv, here.

Shaftesbury Avenue, 20m from Piccadilly Circus in TBB – While investigating in Chinatown, Sherlock and John bump into each other at what used to be a cruising spot for gay men in London. Source: @the-signs-of-two, here.

Archer the American in ASIB – In the scene where the American CIA agents try to get Sherlock to open Irene’s safe, the head CIA agent pressures Sherlock by threatening to have one of his men shoot John. The agent says: “Mr. Archer, on the count of three, shoot Dr. Watson.” Ordering someone named “Archer” to shoot John could be a reference to Arthur Conan Doyle’s poem “The Blind Archer,” which is about Cupid and describes Cupid shooting two men who sound an awful lot like Sherlock and John. Source: couldntpossiblycomment, here.

“¿Dónde Estás, Yolanda?” in TEH – The song that plays during the scene with John and Sherlock’s disastrous reunion at the Landmark restaurant is a cover of the song “¿Dónde Estás, Yolanda?” performed by the band Pink Martini. The Spanish lyrics to this song are about searching for a long-lost lover, which is fitting for the scene where John sees Sherlock again for the first time since his fall. Notably, the creators didn’t use the first of the two versions of this song that Pink Martini has released. The band’s first version appears on their 1997 studio album Sympathique and features a man singing about a woman. Instead of using that version, the creators used the version from Pink Martini’s 2011 compilation album A Retrospective, in which China Forbes performs most of the vocals. So, the creators deliberately chose a remade version of the song in which a woman sings about a woman. They chose a gay song about searching for a long-lost lover for Sherlock and John’s reunion. abrae (@tea-and-liminality on tumblr) has a meta with more to say about the use of this song here.

John’s “oscillation on the pavement” in TEH – In TSOT, John observes a potential client standing outside 221B and trying to make up her mind as to whether to come in. Sherlock tells John “I’ve seen those symptoms before. Oscillation on the pavement always means there’s a love affair.” In the previous episode, John came to visit Sherlock at 221B but hesitated on the pavement outside, staring at the door and trying to decide whether to go in. Sherlock’s comment, “I’ve seen those symptoms before,” is a hint that we, the audience, have also seen those symptoms before—with John in the previous episode. Source: @bidoctor, here. (I saw someone else point out that last part about Sherlock’s hint to the audience, but I can’t find that post, sorry!)

Lilac dresses in TSOT – While planning John and Mary’s wedding, Sherlock chooses lilac-colored dresses for the bridesmaids. When John tells Sherlock that he likes the bridesmaids in purple, Sherlock pointedly corrects him by stating that the dresses are lilac. Apparently, “In Victorian times, giving a lilac meant that the giver is trying to remind the receiver of a first love.” So by dressing the bridesmaids in lilac, Sherlock is trying to remind John of his first love: himself, Sherlock. My heart breaks. Source: @asherlockstudy, here.

Putting the horns on Mary and Janine in TSOT and HLV – In TSOT, there’s a shot where Mary gives Sherlock and John a thumbs up before they head out on a case. The way Mary is standing, the horns on Sherlock’s cow skull thing on the wall behind her are placed right over her head. (I always thought this shot looked pretty weird, but now I see that it must have been intentional!) In the HLV scene with Janine at 221B, there’s a moment when Janine steps in front of John in the frame to kiss Sherlock, and her movement positions the horns right over her head. “Putting the horns” on someone means cheating on them. So in both cases, placing the horns right above Mary’s and Janine’s heads indicates to the audience that Sherlock and John are the real relationship in this show. Source: this post from multiple users on the @sherlockmeta blog.

The architecture of Sherlock’s mind palace in HLV – In the mind palace scene after Mary shoots Sherlock, the architecture of Sherlock’s mind palace is based on locations from ASIP. Sherlock literally built his mind palace out of places from his first case with John, illustrating that his relationship with John is what grounds him and that it means everything to him. abrae has some very helpful screencaps of this here (and I would recommend that whole meta, btw!)

The glasshouse scene in TAB – In TAB, the Victorian John tries to ask Sherlock about his sexuality and sexual history while they’re sitting in a glasshouse. In Victorian Britain, “glasshouse” was another term for a military prison. So John, a military veteran, asks Sherlock about his sexuality in a setting that represents where he would have been sent if he had acted upon his homosexual desires at a time when homosexuality was criminalized. Source: @haffieliesel, here.

What do we say about coincidences? The universe is rarely so lazy.

[catboybiologist]

Be honest: do you think there are femboys who aren't just eggs?

Yes, and tbh I resent that their existence is questioned so much. And I know this is gonna be considered a Bad Take by many people I've fostered a community with, so uh. Yeah.

As a former femboy, and current dykey/tomboyish trans woman, gender nonconformity within your actual gender is an essential part of a trans or genderqueer identity. In a lot of ways, my transition goals are the inverse of being a femboy- I'm going from a feminine man to a masculine woman. And yet, the trans community doesn't question my feminimity as a masculine woman in the same places where many people would question the masculinity of a feminine man. And don't even get me started on where NB identities fit into all of this. This is largely coming from the same place where people are okay with women wearing pants, but men or AMABs in general wearing skirts is Bad (tm).

Like don't get me wrong. The caricature of the Bad Trans pushing all the femboys to become eggs is a wildly overexaggerated, and I've met many, many femboys online that used that caricature to excuse rampant transphobia. But. I hate that there's a but. But.... I literally experienced it myself many times during my femboy days, especially online. Here's a short list:

-Had a transmed bombard me with harassing messages and comments on reddit telling me that I was a "fencesitter" and I just needed to "fucking transition already and stop making trans people look bad"

-Had a trans woman I knew irl shove an estradiol pill in my face, and try to order me to take it, in front of a group of people I wasn't even fully comfortable presenting as a femboy to, until she was eventually asked by someone else to stop.

-Had several comments indicating that I should be force femmed in femboy subreddits

-Had many, many DMs trying to tell me I was a "failed man" that should just transition already

And to clarify- all of this is so, so mild compared to transphobia that myself and others face. But it is a very real thing that happens. To many femboys, I think this is the first time they've received any kind of queerphobia or questioning of their identity, so it feels far worse in their heads than it really actually is. And, to be fair, I think it mostly happens from the more gender binary minded cis community than it comes from trans people- but as I've said, I've had it coming from trans women both irl and online.

I've also tangentially noticed that it seems to be transmed adjacent. Not saying that this anon is, or others who try to encourage femboys to explore their gender, but there certainly is a correlation. If its difficult for you to acknowledge cis gender nonconformity, then its easy to see that extending to a lack of understanding of nonbinary people or others with different trans experiences.

Every time one of these things happened, it didn't put me any closer to transition. It made me feel unsafe. It made me feel on the spot, and scared, and almost outed.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again- if you want historical parallels to femboys, we have a perfect example in drag. Drag is performative, over the top femininity that has become its own artform, style, and means of expression in a way that is intrinsically tied to gender nonconformity. Being a femboy is also all of those things. And guess what? Many drag queens have used it as a way to explore their own gender and realize that they're trans. There are also many who are cis, and remain confident in that identity. Is the percentage of trans people among people who have done drag at some point higher than the general population? Of fucking course- its one of the few places where exploring gender is encouraged and celebrated. Of course trans people flock to that. And the exact same thing is true of femboys. Are a higher proportion of femboys trans or eggs than the general population. Of course. It's a great venue for trans people to explore their identities. But even more of them are

Am I saying you're a bad person if you encourage femboys and gender nonconforming people to consider the possibility that they're trans? Of fucking course not. It was the gentle, affirming pressure with respect and care for my comfort levels from several incredible trans women I know irl that eventually made me confident enough to start HRT. Their continually support is a key factor in my social transition plans for the future. I needed that pressure, and I think everyone, including people who aren't actively engaging in gender nonconformity, needs some push to question their gender and start unlocking cis+. But to be blunt, questioning whether cis femboys even exist is not gentle, comfortable, and affirming pushes.

[maybege]

The App - Part 2

Summary: You know who your perfect-match alpha is and it is not the guy from The App.  

Pairing: alpha!Boba Fett x fem!omega!Reader

Wordcount: 11.0k | Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: Modern AU, A/B/O dynamics (scenting, knotting, etc.), older man/younger woman, implied age gap, explicit sexual content, unprotected sexual intercourse, vaginal fingering, dirty talk, slight (loving) degradation, semi-public sex, creampies, size kink, fluff fluff and more fluff

So … this second part kind of exploded which is why it took me so long to actually finish it lol but I hope the wait will have been worth it for you because ngl I am just swooning over alpha!Boba. Also I placed a little Easter Egg in here for another upcoming fic so bonus points to anyone who finds it 👀 Either way, I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think in a comment or a reblog!  

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

It was two weeks – and no phone call – later, that you decided to take matters into your own (nervously trembling) hands.

Boba thought he didn’t have to call you? Great. But you would not let him think that you were not interested, because you were. He was the one who had shown you what it could feel like to be loved by him and you would not let him ghost you without any explanation.

And if you so happened to want to give Josh back his jacket he had forgotten at your place and you needed to visit him at work for that? Well, then it would just be the most fitting coincidence if Boba was there too.

It was your luck that the receptionist, Peggy, recognized you from the few times you had visited Josh at work and simply waved you through to the elevators. No questions asked.

The doors slid open and you were faced with an empty floor and your heart plummeted. You stepped outside, letting your eyes roam over the open office space. But except for a few people you did not recognise, no one was there.

Shit. So much for coincidentally crossing Boba’s path.

You gripped the jacket tighter, fighting the insecure thoughts in your brain. So Josh was not here. That still meant you could leave the jacket and maybe write a quick note for Boba, just to let him know you were here and open to talk.

Maybe it was better this way. What were you going to say when you met Boba anyway? “Hi, sorry to show up unannounced but you said you would call and you didn’t and I’d very much like for you to call me.”? Yeah, no, that would not do.

Josh’s desk was as empty as always, particularly neat and void of anything that would make it seem remotely personal. You scoffed. How The App could have presumed you were the perfect match, you would never understand. You only regretted it had taken so long for you to see it.

You shifted on your feet, unease filling you at the thought when your eyes fell to the office at the end of the room. Just a few desks separated you from the glass-walled office that Boba inhabited during his work days. And that Boba was sitting in, right now, his phone by his ear.

It seemed he had not noticed you yet but your heart started racing all the same. This was your chance, this was the moment you had to use or else you would beat yourself up over it forever. This could give you clarity.

Taking a deep breath, you set a determined pace to the office, only to falter when he suddenly looked at you. You could not hear what he was saying but you could see the way his entire body shifted. How he paused his words, his eyes running over your form before hanging up, his hand gripping the phone tightly.

You opened the door without knocking and Boba stood up, his eyes still on you. He wore a black suit and with the way it clung to his broad frame, you were convinced that it had been tailored just for him.

“Hi,” you said breathlessly, “Is Josh here?”

“No,” he said, still standing behind his desk, “He is gone for lunch. They all are.”

“Oh,” you said dumbly, “Okay.”

Neither of you moved.

“I, uh, I brought his jacket,” you said, holding up the piece of clothing as if he would not believe you otherwise.

“I can see that.”

“I, uh, can I leave that here?”

“No.”

You faltered, “No?”

“I mean, you can, just not in my office, please,” he said, stepping around his desk. You could not help but swallow, trying to brace yourself for his proximity. His words did not seem inviting but there was something in his scent, something in his eyes, that had you hoping still.

So you took a step forward, a step closer, and you could see his hand flex and his jaw twitch. His eyes darkened and then he was in front of you, his chest brushing against yours and it was all you could do not to lean into him and beg him to scent you again.

Stars, did you want him to scent you again.

“Don’t you want to know why?”

At this point, you could not have cared less about Josh’s stupid jacket but there was no way you would not use it as a reason to stay. Even if it was just for a minute, for a second, longer in his presence.

“Why?” you breathed, taking in his scent, eyes already half-hooded at the familiar smoky scent.

“Because I don’t want anyone’s scent in here but yours,” he answered, just as quietly, “Omega.”

Omega is not an insult, it is a love confession.

The blood was thrumming in your veins and you wanted to tell him everything. You wanted to tell him you loved him, you were pretty sure you did. And you wanted to ask him to scent you. And you wanted to tell him about how he was right, that Josh was a horrible match and The App was wrong and maybe he was your match.

No, not maybe. He looked at you so softly, so tenderly, it confirmed what your heart had known all along. He was your match.

But all you got out was a helpless whisper, “Alpha.”

As if it was even possible, his eyes got more intense, boring into yours as if to say I know.

“You did not call,” you said, almost accusatory as you watched his fingers brush over the back of your hand, “I thought maybe – maybe you don’t want me.”

“There is no universe in which I do not want you,” he murmured, his nose brushing your temple and his hand wrapping around yours, “I wanted to give you time. I didn’t … want to force you into something you might not be ready for.”

“I had no way to contact you,” you whispered, “I was so stupid, I just deleted all the groups when I broke it off with Josh and – what?”

“Nothing,” Boba said innocently but when you looked up you could see his mouth twitch in a suppressed grin.

“That’s not nothing,” you pointed out, narrowing your eyes in suspicion.

“I didn’t know you had broken off things with him,” Boba stated, his smile widening, “Josh may have announced that he was the one who ended things.”

Say what now?

Your displeasure only grew because Boba chuckled again, a deep rumble in his chest that made you feel all warm and tingly and you leant into him, effectively hiding your frown. It was not that you particularly cared about Josh or how the world would see the end of your relationship. But hearing that he was evidently too ashamed to tell the truth about the end of your relationship just made you angrier because it showed the kind of person he had been all along. And you had been too blind to see it.

“I knew it was a lie all along,” he assured you quietly, his warm hand running down your back, “No alpha in their right mind would ever let you go. And I am pretty sure most of the others thought so too.”

“I don’t care what they think,” you answered truthfully and looked up at him. He was so close this way and you could see that he must have shaved this morning because the stubble was almost non-existent and you wondered if you could still feel it if he were to kiss you. “I only care what you think.”

“I think,” he murmured, his breath mingling with yours, “You should get that stinking jacket out of here and then come back so I can kiss you, omega.”

“You want to kiss me?”

You hated how surprised you sounded, how eager, but Boba did not make fun of you. His face looked dead serious and your heart skipped a beat. This man wanted to kiss you!

“Actually,” he said, straightening up and looking to the elevator where a few employees had come back from their break. You did not recognize them but you knew it meant it would not be long until familiar faces returned from their break. And you did not want to see them. “Did you have lunch yet?”

You shook your head.

“Let me take you out, then,” he suggested, seeming as put together and in control as always as he quickly went over to his computer and typed something, “Italian sound good?”

The smile appeared on its own on your lips and you felt like your feet no longer touched the ground, you were that happy.

“Italian sounds great.”

*

There was something to be said about Boba leading you through the city with his hand on your lower back like it belonged there. Like you belonged next to each other.

“Table for two,” he had told the maître d’ at a fancy-looking place you never would have considered for lunch. Suddenly you found yourself grateful for the fact that you had dug out your most beautiful winter dress for the day and the boots you had spent a whole movie on cleaning so they looked brand new.

You were sat at a slim booth, facing each other and your heart skipped a beat when you crossed your legs and your foot accidentally brushed against his slacks. You were so close.

Boba rumbled, eyes dark while he looked you over, his gaze lingering suspiciously long on your neckline that dipped a bit lower than what you usually wore. “Thank you for letting me take you out,” the alpha said, “I really appreciate getting to spend time with you.”

“I enjoy spending time with you, too,” you mumbled, avoiding his intense gaze by folding open the menu, “Though I wouldn’t have expected it when I first met you.”

The laugh he let out made your heart flutter (He sounded so happy!). “No, I hadn’t suspected it either,” he admitted, “If I recall I called myself an old man no one would ever want that day.”

“You are not that old!” the protest slipped off your tongue immediately and you felt your cheeks burn when he raised his eyebrow in a challenge.

“I am, though,” he said without any heat, “But at least I can say that it makes me better at some things.”

“Like what?”

He leant forward, his voice dropping to a low rumble that you felt reverberating in your chest, “Like I am better at making you come than all these boys on that app these days.”

All air left your lungs in a woosh and you swallowed harshly, trying to get your bearing and ignoring the sudden urge to press your thighs together. Or open them for him. Both sounded good at this point.

“Oh,” you breathed, your foot landing against his calf. It did not turn into anything sexual per se but the contact was enough to have your heart skip a beat. The tension was palpable between you and you wondered how you could have ever thought he was unbearable when he could make you flustered this easily.

“You probably are,” you replied quietly, your cheeks burning at your confession, “I have never felt like this with anyone. So … so on edge.”

“On edge, hm?” he smirked, leaning even closer, “I really wish I could sit next to you, omega, I want to see how close I can get you by just teasing that scent gland of yours.”

“Me too,” you whispered, taking a sip of your wine in the hopes of cooling down, “I really want you to scent me again.”

Boba did not say anything but demonstratively put his hand on the table palm facing up and open. You followed his silent instructions and put your hand in his, immediately enjoying the gentle skin-to-skin contact.

His thumb brushed over your wrist and your entire body shuddered. This was what you needed.

“Better?” he asked, his voice deep as his thumb carefully ran over your scent gland over and over again. The ones on the wrists were not as sensitive as the one on your neck, they never were, but it was enough, still, to have him gently scent you out here in the open for anyone to see.

You did not know what surprised you more: How much your body seemed to crave his touch or how he did not seem to mind to scent you in public. Your previous partner had always refused to actually scent you – it was just not something they wanted to do. But here was Boba, looking at you with so much tenderness and scenting you in plain sight. Not ashamed of you in the least.

“What do you want?”

I want you to fuck me.

“To eat,” he added with a mischievous glint in his eyes, obviously recognizing the needy look in your eyes, “Because that waiter looks like he is ready to come over and I know how nervous you get about ordering.”

Your heart grew in size. He knew you so well, this quiet man who seemed to notice all the things you needed and was not afraid to point them out to you. But that realization did not help you when it came to the ache between your legs because he knew you so well and you just wanted to have him in your bed to try out all the fantasies your head could come up with.

“The – the pasta,” you finally found your words, your heartbeat picking up at the thought that maybe he would stop scenting you now that a witness would be here, “Please don’t let me go, alpha.”

“Never,” he vowed, “The ravioli, you mean?” he guessed, coaxing another sigh out of you when the pad of his calloused thumb drew a circle over your wrist, “With the cherry tomatoes and the basil reduction?”

You nodded with your eyes closed, completely letting yourself enjoy the way he touched you, the way he caressed you. “Yes, that one.”

The waiter came by and Boba ordered for you both, still holding your hand and the waiter did not even spare a glance at the way he touched you. You had spent so many years afraid of what the world would think when you were so obviously treated as an omega in a relationship. Spoiler alert: They did not care. And it was glorious.

“Now only one question remains,” Boba said with a smile when your food arrived, “Can I take you out for dinner sometime? On a proper date?”

*

A few days later, a knock on your door drove you into a flurry. You counted until six in your head before you opened the door, pretending like you had not waited in the hallway for ages for him to show up. Not because he was late, no, Boba Fett was punctual as always, but because you could not wait for this evening to start.

This date today was something you had looked forward to ever since he had called you and officially asked you out. (“There is that lovely little place down by the river,” he had said, “My friend owns it and I could get us a table with the best view. What do you think?”)

Now, Boba Fett was standing in your doorway, looking even more handsome than usual, in dark slacks and a white button-down with the top button undone, revealing a little bit more of his chest. He looked serious, just as much preoccupied with looming at you as you were with looking at him. Which meant that it took both of you a moment to realise that he was holding a colourful bouquet of flowers in his hand.

“Forgive my distraction,” he said, “You look stunning.” He held up the flowers, their scent floating between the two of you, “Here. For you.”

You were sure the smile on your lips could not get any brighter as you accepted them, your fingers brushing, “Thank you. Let me get them in some water. Wanna come inside?”

He hummed, following you into your tiny and cluttered apartment.

You tried not to look back at him and gauge his reactions. You liked to describe your apartment as cosy and homey and, yes, maybe a teeny tiny bit cramped. You had never been one for the minimalistic way of life and your apartment reflected that. There were pictures and books and trinkets everywhere, your fridge was covered in magnets from your travels and postcards from your friends and family.

It was no surprise, in hindsight, that Josh had not liked your place at all and he had not shied away to articulate that out loud. Several times, in fact, until you had just resigned yourself to the fact that you would stay over at his place and your souvenirs would have to live the rest of their lives in storage boxes.

But this was your home. It was you. Which is why it was more important than anything to you that Boba liked it.

Boba was too good a man to criticize your place openly, you knew that. But you still could not resist glancing at his broad form in the living room while you filled the vase with water.

“What do you think?” you asked, hoping to hide your nervous undertone when you set the vase down on your kitchen table. You could not wait to wake up each morning and be greeted with the sight of the flowers your favourite alpha had gotten for you.

“Feels like a home,” he said, running his fingers over a stack of books that had no space in the bookcase, “Feels like you.”

His words were soft-spoken and sincere and you watched as his gaze roamed over your apartment. The couch with the sunk-in cushions where you always sat, the mess of books and notepads and remotes on your coffee table, all pulled together by the singular scented candle you treated yourself to once in a while. The walls were covered with pictures and prints of your travels (or the places you wanted to travel to) and your friends and family peppered in between.

It did feel like you. And when he said it, it sounded like a compliment.

“Thank you, alpha.”

His head shot up and, in his eyes, you could see the thoughts he had. If calling someone omega was a love confession, what did it mean to him to be called alpha?

He crossed the few steps that were between you before he cupped your face in his hands and pulled you in for a kiss. It was soft and gentle and so full of love it made your heart swell. His scent was in your nose and the stubble on his jaw rubbed over your skin, making you want him even closer.

“Let’s go, omega,” he whispered against your mouth, “Or else we will be late and Paz will have my head.”

“If you say so,” you grinned, “Lead the way, alpha.”

*

Hours later, you still were not ready to say goodbye.

You had talked and flirted and laughed and eaten and now, Boba had driven you home, parking a few blocks away with the insistence that he should walk you home. You had accepted with a smile.

“So,” he started, casually walking alongside you, “How was it for a first date?”

You hummed, pretending to mull over your answer as if it weren’t incredibly obvious. The streetlights illuminated the sharp lines of his face, the profile of his nose, his full lips, and the twinkle in his eyes as he glanced at you like he knew exactly what you were thinking.

“It could have been worse,” you teased him, “I don’t think it was the worst first date I have ever been on.”

Boba chuckled, coming to a stop in front of an entryway that looked like yours. Your heart fell at the thought of having to leave him. If it were up to you, this night could go on forever.

“Not the worst first date,” he quoted you, his grin lighting up his whole face, “I count that as a win. Besides,” he turned, facing you, “The most important thing is whether you would go out with me again. What do you think?”

“I would,” you murmured, entirely too fixated on how close he was and if you could get him to kiss you again, “Of course, I would, Boba.”

The silence between you two was comfortable but you could not feel like time was running away from you two. So you blurted out the first thing you could think of.

“Do you want to come up for a coffee?”

“You don’t drink coffee,” he reminded you with a little smile, “You told me that tonight, remember?”

“Oh,” you had forgotten about that, “You know I wasn’t really asking you up for a coffee, right?”

“Hm,” he said, stepping closer to you and you did not shy away. His eyes roamed over your form. His hands were still in his pockets and he was looming over you, his breath washing over your face. “You know there is nothing I would love more than to come up for … not coffee”, he winked and you smiled, “But this is our first date and I – I want to do this right and proper. So, no coffee tonight, little one.”

“Oh well,” you pouted, your hand reaching out to tug his hand out of his pocket. Boba smiled and followed your lead, his hands leaving his pockets and landing on your lower back, pulling you against him. “Your good night kiss will have to make up for that disappointment then.”

His nose brushed against yours and the familiar excitement built up again in your belly at the prospect of kissing him. “I guess I will have to work really hard for it,” he joked quietly before he closed the distance between you.

The kiss started soft and gentle, his mouth moving against yours, slowly coaxing you open. But it did not take long before you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into you. It did not take long before his tongue mingled with yours, his teeth brushing over your bottom lip and one of his hands wandering to your ass, slightly squeezing.

It was when the slightest of moans left your lips that he pulled away from you, your body instantly missing his touch.

“Dinner, then?” Boba asked, his breathing slightly laboured, “Next week?”

*

You did not make it to dinner.

And you hated yourself for it.

But whatever flu had caught you, it had caught you good and as you drafted the text to Boba, cancelling the dinner date you had spent the last week looking forward to, you felt like crying out of pure frustration. But there was no way you were able to leave your apartment today.

So you did the only thing you could. You planted yourself on the couch, curled up with a heated blanket and too many mugs of tea and set your timer to when you could take the next painkiller to keep the migraine at bay. You could not even focus on the old sitcom that you had put on in the background, instead just dozing on and off and trying to find a position that did not make every single muscle in your body ache.

It felt absolutely miserable.

A knock on your door got you up and you trudged to the door, hoping that it was just one of your neighbours with a package that got misdelivered. Stars knew you weren't up to anything else.

“Boba,” you mumbled, completely confused at the sight in front of you, “Did – did you not get my text?”

He stood in front of you, dressed in jeans and a shirt made from a material so soft, your fingers itched to touch it. “I did,” he confirmed, holding up a white plastic bag that smelled divine, “So I brought you some soup.”

That was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for you.

You wanted to tell him that but somehow, your tongue refused to move and the words would not leave your mouth. You just stared at him, tears brimming in your eyes as you looked at this alpha who did not seem to be angry at you at all for ruining his plans.

“Will you let me come inside?” his voice was gentle and caring, “I can heat up the soup and make you some tea. And then I can get out of your hair and let you rest.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” you found your voice again, happy that you managed to express at least this one thought, stepping aside to let him in, “Th-thank you for coming, alpha.”

You watched as he set the food down in the kitchen before coming into the living room, taking in the damage. The pity was clear in his eyes and you felt a little ashamed at him seeing you so out of control. Everything was a mess and there were used tissues lying everywhere, your laundry had not been done for a week and the dishes were piling up in your sink. Not to mention that you had not managed to gather the strength to take out the trash which was why your kitchen was currently a No Zone for you.

But none of that seemed to interest him.

“Have you been sleeping on the couch?” he asked finally, his brows furrowed as he took in the haphazardly thrown blankets on the sofa.

You shrugged, tugging on your sleeves. You would have to change your shirt soon, the fabric felt unusually scratchy today and it made you want to crawl out of your skin. ”The bed feels cold,” you tried to explain, “And – and the pillows don’t sit right. And I’m too sick to – “

“Make a nest,” Boba realised, his eyes softening, “You’ve been needing a nest all this time, ‘mega?”

You nodded, avoiding his eyes and bracing yourself for the rejection that you would inevitably see in them. So far, Boba had proven different from Josh in every way, different from all the other alphas in every way. And while you knew that your brain was most probably playing tricks on you, you felt too miserable to stop the intrusive thoughts that tried to tell you that this would be the point where he realised that being with an omega – being with you – would be too much work.

“Do you want me to help?”

Your head shot up and you were unable to hide the surprise on your face. But the look on his face was sincere as he looked at you, expecting your answer.

This was one of those moments, you realized, where you could accept what the universe – Boba – offered you. Even if you had never experienced it before. Careful not to jostle your head too much, you nodded and made your way to your bedroom, hearing his footsteps behind you.

The curtains were still drawn but with how bright it was outside, one could still see the half-finish nest you had attempted to build on your bed. It just looked sad now, the twisted blanket and the pillows you had half-heartedly thrown on top of it.

But with Boba behind you, it just felt incomplete and you realized what you had been missing. “I – I want it a little bigger.”

“How much bigger?”

Big enough for you to join me.

But the words remained unspoken as you focused on pulling the blankets apart, getting a bigger circle shape to fill out the entire space your mattress offered. If you pulled it just this way, then you could have –

“Do you have some extra blankets I should get you?” Boba asked from where he had been standing on the opposite side of the bed, carefully copying your movements. You liked the look of his big hands touching the materials of your nest, colouring them in his scent. Maybe, if you were lucky, he would stay long enough that his scent lingered even after he left.

You nodded, pointing to the closet next to the door where you stashed your extra pillows and blankets. The kinds that were always freshly washed and soft enough that you endured them even in your heat. Now, you felt hot too, but in a sick kind of way and your head was thrumming with pain.

Deep down, you knew you should rest. You knew it would not be long until the dizziness set in or the itchiness of the fabric made you want to cry. But Boba was there and he had seen the mess and you did not – you swallowed harshly, your hands starting to tremble – you could not bear if he left now.

“Omega,” Boba rumbled upon his return, clearly having noticed your distress, and your hands stilled at the strict tone in his voice, “Let me take care of this.”

“Don’t want you to work,” you mumbled as you pushed the circle a little wider, “I promise I'm not that much work.” You looked up at him, your voice earnest and your eyes tearing up and you cursed yourself for how weak Josh had made you, how weak you felt at having to face the fact that Boba Fett meant more to you than you had wanted to admit.

His face fell at your words and you could feel the tears threatening to spill.

The blankets fell into the space of your nest, freshly washed and smiling of your favourite laundry detergent. But you could not focus on them now. Not when he made his way around the bed to you until he was right in front of you, the heat of his body seeping into yours.

“Omega,” he whispered, his hands cupping your face. They felt cool against your skin and sighed in relief, your eyes closing, “You are sick, my omega,” he repeated, “You are not too much work. I want to help you. Please, lie down in your nest and let me help. Let me take care of you.”

You hesitated for a second, the demons in your head still whispering about whether or not he was telling the truth. But one look in his warm eyes and you knew he was and you knew you could trust him.

Boba only let go of you once you nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead before helping you straighten out the blankets. “Here is what we are going to do,” he said, his voice warm and gentle, “I will help you make the nest and then you will lie down and take a nap, okay?”

“And you?” you asked unsure, fluffing a pillow in the corner, already imagining yourself and Boba lying down right there.

“I will take care of a few things and then we will see what you need.”

His voice did not leave much room for protest and if you were honest with yourself, you did not want to protest either. Taking a nap in your nest sounded like a dream and having Boba close by? That was even better.

It did not take long after that before your nest truly looked like your nest. The blankets and pillows were arranged in a perfect circle, high enough for you to lean against them and your favourite blanket was folded inside, too, ready to cover you whenever you needed.

“I will leave you to it, omega,” Boba murmured, his hand gently running over your back before disappearing into the hallway.

Only after you heard him cluttering around somewhere, did you take off your leggings, feeling positive that he would not leave. After a bit of thinking, you took off your panties too. You changed into your sleep shirt, the one thing that felt soft against your skin and it was long enough to cover your ass, too. The only things you kept from your original outfit were the fuzzy socks. Just at first until you could feel the cold leave you.

Lying down in your nest was just as glorious as you had expected and you dozed off in no time. The little sounds from the depths of your apartment and the dimmed sunlight through your curtains paired with Boba’s lingering scent on your blankets resulted in your body feeling relaxed and pliant for the first time in three days.

You did not know how much time passed but by the time you opened your eyes again, you felt much better and Boba stood by your bed.

He carefully arranged the pillows around you, making sure they were as fluffy as possible and you smiled when his hands lingered on your shoulders. “Is that okay?” he asked, “Are you comfortable?”

“Perfect,” you mumbled, reaching your hand out for him, “Do – Will you join me?”

The large man smiled, his voice still careful as he pulled the curtains closed. “I would love to, omega, what's the dress code?”

“Shoes off,” you ordered with a weak smile, “And the shirt, too. And the belt.”

He hummed and you did not have to see him to know he was smiling. You watched with interest as his hands went to the bottom of his shirt, more and more tan skin revealed to you as he pulled it over his head. It was the first time you had seen him like this and your heart skipped a beat at the thought that maybe it would not be the last time.

“Like what you see?” he joked, his hands going to his belt and you bit your lip, your eyes not leaving his body as he crawled into bed next to you. He pulled a soft blanket from somewhere, covering you both with it and you sighed, shuffling closer to him.

The alpha’s arms went around you, holding you to him so you could tuck your face into his neck, breathing in his comforting scent and enjoying the sheer touch of him against you. While the silence between you felt comfortable and you found yourself thinking that you could stay like this forever, you also could not shake the little bit of nervousness at this new position you found yourself in.

“I have never shared my nest with anyone,” you confessed into the crook of his neck, “I – I don’t know if I am doing it right.”

“It feels right, doesn’t it?” he asked you gently, his hand holding the back of your neck firmly. You closed your eyes, giving you some relief from the strain behind your eyes. His finger started moving, gently and slowly massaging the back of your neck.

He was right. It did feel right.

“If it helps, it is my first time in an omega’s nest as well,” he replied and you hummed. “No, that’s a lie,” he added after a moment of silence, his hand movement never ceasing, “I was in my mother’s nest a few times when I was very little.”

“A few times?” you asked, remembering how you had spent entire weekends as a toddler with your parents in their nest.

“I have a lot of brothers,” he revealed, “Like a ridiculous amount, really. It was sometimes a fight to get in there, you know? Not that it made me feel any less loved.”

You smiled at the thought of a young Boba toddling around with his brothers in a big nest.

“It sounds nice,” you murmured, running your hand over his chest. You focussed on the warmth of his body, the way his skin felt under your fingertips and how you could feel his heartbeat.

“It is,” you could feel him nod, “Family reunions are a nightmare though. Pure chaos.”

Your laugh got stuck in your throat when his nose brushed over your neck. His breath washed over your scent gland and you could feel how your body attuned to him.

“This is nice, too,” you mumbled, snuggling closer to him. His nose on your scent gland sent warm shivers down your spine. It was calming and made you feel safe and cosy and like you could finally rest.

“It is,” he agreed quietly, turning your body so he was on his back and you were glued to his side, “Rest now, my omega, I got you.”

*

It was several days of rest until you finally could breathe through your nose again. But when the rest of the flu had dissipated and you felt like you could return to life as usual and Boba asked you out to the opera, you knew it would be even better than the date you had originally missed.

The older alpha took you out to dinner first. To a fancy restaurant by the water where the waitlist was several months long. So long, in fact, that you marvelled at how he managed to get a table there. As it turned out, the small restaurant in question was owned by his friend Paz, a giant of an alpha who came out of the kitchens with a huge grin and a promise to deliver you the best meal you ever had.

And just like Boba, Paz Vizsla was an alpha who kept his word. Paired with the most delicious wine you ever had, you were served a three-course pre-theatre dinner that had you humming with delight.

But the true highlight of the night was not the strawberry pistachio tarte or the seafood pasta, no. It was the man in front of you.

Boba’s eyes never left you. He held your chair for you and had his hand on yours whenever time allowed. He looked so handsome in his black suit with a dark grey dress shirt and you found your eyes straying to the first few undone buttons that granted you a look at his chest.

Stars, you were so done for.

“You look stunning,” he complimented you, “That has to be my favourite colour on you.”

It was a dark green silk dress that was clinging to your body “in all the right places” as your friends had assured you in the group chat. And hearing Boba thinking the same things made you happier than you could have imagined.

“And you look very put together, as always,” you teased him back, leaning forward and not missing the way his eyes flashed to your neckline. If only he knew …

Your alpha smiled at you, then, and leant back in his chair like it. You watched with bated breath as he held his thick hand up and started rolling up his sleeves, revealing his tanned forearm to you. First the one, then the other and then he dared to wink at you because he knew exactly what you were thinking.

And it was exactly these filthy thoughts that got you into the mess that followed.

Because Boba had a private boy. Of course, he did.

You felt like a princess when he led you up the carpeted stairs through the gorgeous old building to a little room that was reserved just for you. It was hard to look at the steps in front of you when you were so distracted by the painted ceilings, the stucco and the giant chandeliers that, just for a second, gave you the feeling of travelling back in time. But Boba’s hand was right there to steady you, his hand squeezing yours warmly when you heisted before.

The first thing you were greeted with was a set of fancy drinks – your favourite mocktail and a scotch that was older than both of you for Boba. Only then did you take in the room.

For some reason, you had thought that the door would lead immediately to your private seats for the show. Instead, you were standing in a little reception room, furnished with a plush couch and a minibar and looked far fancier than any hotel room you had ever stayed in.

Slow music was playing from a record player and if you listened carefully, you could hear the orchestra getting ready through the thick curtain. It was cosy and private and made you feel like you were far away from everyone and everything.

You sat down on the couch, sinking into the fabric with a laugh and Boba joined you. Sitting next to you, with his legs spread and leaning back against the couch with one hand still holding his scotch, he was the picture of sex appeal. Everything about him made you hyper-aware of the arousal simmering in your core.

“What are you thinking about, little omega?” he rumbled, taking a sip of the amber liquid. You watched his throat move and swallowed with him, wanting to press your lips to his Adam's apple.

“Nothing,” you whispered, slowly leaning forward. Your heart was pounding in your chest, “Just that you haven’t kissed me yet.”

The glass of scotch landed on the side table with a clank and he turned towards you, his eyes intense. “We can't have that,” he stated, a small smile on his lips, “C’mere, love, let me remedy my mistake.”

You don’t know who moved faster but his warm hand cupped the side of your face the moment your lips met his. He tasted of scotch and something uniquely him that had you opening your mouth for his tongue.

Desire overcame you and in no time, his hand on your hip held you steady as you climbed on top of him, your knees settling on the couch on either side of his lap as you tried to get as close as possible. He was warm and solid and you just wanted – you needed – to feel him.

The fire in your core was fuelled by the low groans that left his mouth and when your hips stuttered against his and you could feel him hard against you, you wished you were anywhere else but the opera. Maybe your bedroom. Or his bedroom. Anywhere with a bed, really.

You were completely out of breath when you pulled apart. Boba had a lazy smirk on his face, his free hand trailing slowly over your neckline. He ran his finger over the silk of your dress, right over your tit, circling where you needed him most and sure enough you could feel and see your nipple pebble through the thin fabric.

“Tell me,” he rumbled, “What did you think would happen when I realised that you were not wearing a bra and that you are this close,” he hooked a single finger into the neckline, gently pulling the fabric down your skin until your chest was free to the cool air, “to showing me your pretty tits?”

“I wanted to look pretty,” you mumbled, your ears hot at him knowing how bare you were beneath this dress. You had never done anything like this but Boba – Boba brought it out in you. It made you feel a little dirty in the best way and you knew you had Boba to thank for it.

“That’s one way to say you’d like to skip straight to dessert,” he teased you and you could not help your smile. The tension did not falter though and neither did the movement of his finger circling your nipple but not quite touching it.

You wriggled your hips, trying to get closer to him.

The groan that left him had your pussy weeping.

“How long did you know?” you asked shyly, arching your back so he could touch you freely.

“When you bent over at dinner,” he revealed, his thumb finally brushing directly over your nipple, bringing it to a peak. The feather-light touch was repeated on the other side as well. “Had me rock hard in an instant, princess. I had half a mind to sit you in my lap right there so no one can see how I would bury my cock in your sweet pussy.”

“Alpha,” you breathed. His fingers tightened on your nipples and you squeaked when he gently pulled, the mixture of pain and pleasure making you whine.

“Performance doesn’t start in the next 30 minutes,” he rumbled, his mouth closing over one east and you gasped, “How about we get you out of this pretty dress and I make you come?”

“Boba!” you gasped, “You – We – we are in the opera.”

“That we are,” he agreed, lightly biting the underside of your breast.

“You – you don’t mind?”

“Omega,” he said softly, standing up and pulling you with him until you were standing in the middle of the room, “I have you half-naked in my lap, ready for me to devour you. I don’t mind where we are as long as no one sees how pretty you look for me. So what do you say?”

You did not say anything but you shimmied your shoulders until the dress fell down your torso. Boba’s hands were big and warm on your back as he helped it along the rest of your body. The silk fell from your body in a whisper and just like that, you stood in front of him completely bare, in a private room in the opera.

Stars, you never would have thought to do something like this. And Boba Fett still looked at you like you were the most beautiful sight in the entire world.

“Stunning,” he stated, his dark eyes running over your body. He sat down on the couch again and patted his thighs. You stepped closer, feeling strangely secure and forward – completely bare for this man who made you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

“It’s unfair, though,” you pouted as you ran your fingers over the buttons of his shirt, “You are still fully dressed.”

“Hm, let me enjoy it for now,” he smiled, pulling you against him, his hands immediately finding their way to the soft flesh of your ass, “I want to pay attention to all of this,” he squeezed your ass, “before I get distracted by your touch.”

His words turned you on more than you wanted to admit and so instead, you only squirmed in his grasp.

“Straddle me,” he instructed, relaxing against the couch as you followed his order, “Keep the heels on.”

The feeling of your bare skin against the fabric of his suit was surprisingly erotic and your pussy clenched at the proximity to him. He was warm and strong beneath you, letting you rest your weight on his thighs and the couch.

“I want you to feel how hard I am,” he explained, pushing your hips down on him and your eyes flew open at the bulge you felt pressing against your core. He felt … big. “And then I want you to tell me how you want to come tonight.”

You swallowed heavily, gathering the courage to reciprocate the honesty he was giving you. “On your cock, alpha,” the words felt strange on your tongue, never having been one for dirty talk, but the flint in his eyes made it worth it, “I want to come on your cock.”

He chuckled. “I'm afraid that’s not an option, omega. We are in public after all,” he winked, his hand wandering down your cheek and body until his fingers brushed against your folds. You were already soaking wet and you closed your eyes, grinding your hips against him, “You can have my fingers or my mouth.”

His middle finger ran through your wetness before his fingers twitched and he pushed one inside you to the first knuckle. You breathed in sharply, his touch causing everything in your body to stir.

“This okay?” he asked you, his voice rough like sandpaper, “Does my finger in your pretty cunt feel good?”

“Yes,” you nodded eagerly, gasping when his mouth closed over your nipple again, “It feels really good, alpha.”

“Good,” he rumbled, finger moving carefully deeper inside you before pulling out again. With his other hand still kneading your ass, he grinned, “Would you like me to add another finger?”

A whine escaped you at his slow pace. He really wanted to make you work for it.

“That is not an answer,” he mocked, looking up at you. You kissed him again, enjoying the way his stubble rubbed over your jaw and his tongue playing with yours, “Do you want my fingers in your pussy? Yes or no?”

“Please,” you whimpered, “Please, alpha, let me come on your cock.”

“Fuck, you're filthy,” he cursed, his hand landing on your ass in a slap, “Who knew my pretty omega could talk this dirty?”

His praise made your cheeks heat up but it did not keep you from moving your hips again. This time, you could feel the tip of him catching against your clit and a thousand nerve endings tingled. Your eyes fluttered with desire and you did it again.

And again.

And again.

Until Boba made you stop with a strong hand against your back.

“Lean against me,” he ordered, “Go on, your chest against mine.”

Following his instructions, you fully rested against him and used the position to your advantage by plating your mouth on his scent gland. It was the first time you properly tasted him – all pinewood and smoked – and it clouded your mind instantly. All you could and wanted to do was follow whatever Boba said.

“Spread your legs,” you did, “Wider, omega.”

You whimpered against him but still spread your legs as wide as they would go. It opened you up to him but instead of slipping his hand between your bodies, his fingers brushed down your back to your ass, until –

“Relax,” he murmured, his fingers only barely brushing over the crack of your ass, “I am not here for that now. Soon, though.”

You could feel his finger slowly pushing inside you, its way eased by the wetness coating your thighs and walls. Your eyes widened, completely locked in by his gaze as you felt him slowly thrust his finger in and out of your pussy.

“Want you grinding against my cock while I finger you,” he explained, voice rough, “You deserve to come, pretty omega.”

He pushed his finger, so much thicker than yours, back in again and you could feel your walls flutter. By the way Boba’s eyes darkened, he had felt it too. Soon, he added a second one, thoroughly stretching you until you were helplessly humping against him.

The sight of you must have been filthy. This older, completely dressed man with an undressed omega on top of him grinding herself against his cock and panting against his scent gland. It turned you on even more and when you licked a stripe up his neck, he groaned too, his hips rocking up against yours and paired with his fingers inside you, you were already so close to coming.

But it was not what you wanted.

“I want your cock,” you pouted, rocking against him. He was heavy and hot and your pussy was throbbing for him, “Don’t make me wait, Boba, please.”

The hand on your ass travelled to your jaw, tilting your head until he could kiss you. “You beg so prettily for me,” he murmured, his teeth scraping against your bottom lip, “You almost have me reconsidering.”

Spurred on by his words, you pushed your hips back against his fingers, having them go deeper. Trying to keep from gasping, you bit your lip until it hurt.

“Please, alpha,” you breathed, doing your best to put on your most seductive voice, “Please alpha, I want to feel your cock so badly, I – I just know it is going to feel so good, p-please. I need it. I need it so bad.”

He did not reply for a while, simply adding a third finger that had your walls flexing around him. That should have been the sign of your victory but you were too busy grinding your clit against his covered shaft to really register it.

“I am nothing if not generous,” he teased you, his mouth pressing hot kisses to your scent gland, “But I will not knot you. I will only let you sit on my cock and fill you with my come. But I will not knot you. Not yet.“

You could live with that.

He spread you out on the couch before resting over you and it was that moment that you remembered that all that was separating you from hundreds of people were the thick velvet curtains. He seemed to know that too.

“Stay quiet, little one,” he warned you but the devious smile on his lips made you feel like he wouldn’t mind at all if everyone knew what was about to happen. And that just made you feel even hotter.

The sight of him undoing his belt alone was enough to cause another rush of wetness down your thighs and you spread your legs of your own accord, wanting to give him the view he was giving you. Because seeing his cock, big and heavy, had your pussy clenching. There was a bead of precome on the tip that you desperately wanted to taste and when his hands wrapped around his shaft, giving himself a few strokes, it was all you could do not to beg.

But Boba had plans. “One foot on the floor,” he ordered you and you did as you were told. He pushed your opposite leg on the backrest of the couch, effectively spreading you even further and felt a little ashamed, being so exposed to him.

His strong hand continued to pump his cock while he looked at your pussy like he wanted to devour you.

“Alpha,” you whined, growing restless, “Please …”

“We got to be quick, little omega,” he warned you, “We have a show to catch, after all.”

Despite his warning, he pushed inside you slowly, letting you get used to his size. You had known it would be a tight fit from just seeing him but the feeling of the tip alone breaching your walls had your breath catching in your throat. Boba noticed, of course, and his thrust remained shallow until you could finally relax.

“Good girl,” he praised you, “Can feel you opening up for me. You’re all quiet now, hm? All you wanted was that big fat cock fully in your pussy, hm?”

You nodded eagerly, his words making your cheeks flush. His body, still dressed, moved above yours expertly while you hardly knew what to do with yourself. You felt full and pleasured and he wasn’t even fully inside you yet. All you could do was run your hands over his body, grabbing his shoulders, brushing your fingertips over his scent gland and then to the back of his head, pulling him down for a kiss.

Boba, meanwhile … Boba was a rock. He was confident, calm and in control. All the C-words, really. Cocky too, judging by the smirk on his face as he bent down to kiss you again.

“Tell me,” he encouraged you, “How are you feeling with my cock inside you, princess?”

“Full,” you breathed, “So full, alpha. It’s – are you –“

He looked down, his finger circling your clit, making your clench around his firth. “Not even halfway, little one,” he stated and you took a deep breath, “I’m gonna fit in this tight little pussy, no worries.” He continued to circle your clit and you hummed, feeling your walls stretch around him.

“There we go,” he encouraged you, his lips brushing over the shell of your ear as he spoke, “There’s my good girl. So gorgeous for me, feel so good around my cock. Tell me, does it feel good for you too?”

“Uh huh,” you nodded eagerly, trying to shift your hips to get closer but Boba pinned you down with his body weight, shoving the rest of him inside you in the process. You bit your lip, trying to muffle the moan that wanted to break free. His weight on top of you was comforting. You wanted him to have this control over you, having to worry about nothing but enjoying yourself.

“I am the one who moves around here,” he chastised you, fully thrusting inside you again and brushing a spot that made you shiver, “Trust me, omega. Let me take care of you. You just lie here and take it.”

And take it you did.

“Faster, please,” you whispered, “Just a little – oh!”

He adjusted his pace perfectly like he knew exactly what you needed. The size of him inside you made you see stars and you felt dizzy with pleasure. When he angled his hips just so, his cock met that spot again and again until your eyes fell back and your mouth fell open. Thick fingers wrapped around your neck, just under your jaw and you could feel his breath on your skin.

Your toes started tingling and soon the sensation ran through all your muscles until you were spasming around him in the strongest orgasm you had ever felt. Everything felt heightened and with how you were clenching around him, he felt even bigger than he already was.

“Fuck,” Boba cursed into your neck, his hips stuttering, “You are so fucking pretty, omega. Can’t wait to fill you up like you deserve, full of my cock and my come. Gonna do this every day, princess, so you remember who you belong to, hm?”

Gasping for breath, your heart still racing in your chest, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, “Alpha, I –“

“I know, princess,” he groaned quietly, his hips stilling, “I know.”

His cock was so deep inside you, you never wanted him to leave. You wanted to remain like this forever. He came inside you and you could feel it, the strange sensation of him filling you up with what felt like a lot of come, a guaranteed mess between your thighs.

Still, you had never felt as connected with anyone as with Boba at this moment, his clothed body pressing against yours, his breath slowing against your neck.

 “Stars,” you whispered, blinking the sudden tears away.

Boba kissed you softly, his rough hands running over every inch of bare skin. His weight on you was comforting and the way he caged you in made you feel oddly small and safe. He pulled out of you, slowly, and you winced when his come trickled down your tights as soon as he left you.

You watched as he reached for some tissues, gently cleaning you up. He remained silent but gentle, his fingertips brushed carefully over your inner thighs and your already swollen folds.

“How do you feel?”

“Fucked,” you breathed out. Both of you chuckled but the sight of him pocketing your panties had you grow quiet. “Don’t mind if I keep these,” he rumbled, his hands helping you stand before smoothing your dress down your legs, “Want to keep a souvenir of when I filled you up the first time.”

You were completely breathless again and it did not help that you could still feel him inside you. “Thank you,”

“For what, omega?”

You stepped closer to him, planting your hands on his chest. His heart was beating just as hard as yours and you could not wait to later peel the shirt off him and feel his body heat against yours. For now, though, you just pressed a kiss to his neck. “For taking care of me,” you explained, “For making me come,” you kissed his jaw, “For fucking me so good,” you whispered before kissing him softly, “For coming inside me.”

His hands went to your waist, holding you closer and allowing him to prolong the kiss. He was growling when you pulled away and it was easy to admit that he already had a hold on your heart and pussy. But it was your turn to tease now.

“C’mon,” you grinned, “Didn’t you say we had a show to catch?”

Boba grinned, eyes twinkling as he pulled back the curtains for you. “You're gonna be the death of me, little one.”

*

Fortunately, you were not the death of him, though he did like to continue the joke weeks (if not months) into your relationship.

Being with Boba was like stepping out into the daylight after the movies. It was strange at first, getting used to the fact that he was so openly in love with you. That he was not afraid to embrace you being an omega. It led to a few misunderstandings and more than a few serious talks in which you came to the realization that your dating history had impacted you more than just a little.

But Boba was not about to leave you because you were an omega and he was not about about to leave you because you were too high-maintenance.

It took a bit of time and a few in-depth conversations with your friends but soon enough you learnt that you were lovable, omega and all. And Boba was the exact right person to love you.

Your first heat together was better than anything you had ever imagined. He had noticed it before even you had, showing up at your door with takeaway food from Paz’s place, flowers and a bag of his worn shirts. That and his “I took the next few days off, princess, let’s get your nest ready” came just a few hours before you noticed the cramping in your belly.

By the time your heat properly hit, you were already buried in the softness of your nest, cuddled against your alpha’s chest as you watched your favourite movies. You spent three days holed up with him in your apartment, taken care of in every single way from him scenting you to arranging the nicest fruit platter to sitting you on his knot until you cried, whispered the sweetest nothings in your ear.

It was the happiest you had ever been and for the first time in a long time, you were confident that this happiness would remain because Boba gave you every indication that it would remain.

Like when he suggested one winter evening that your flowers would bloom nicely in his garden come springtime or when he took you to the hardware store, getting all the tools to hang your pictures in his – your – home. Or how careful he was to help you pack up all your stuff, making sure everything stayed secure and safe as you made the move from your small apartment into his house that became yours.

Or that time he surprised you with the Merino wool throw blanket for your nest when you complained one December evening that the only thing that could keep you warm was him.

The one moment where it all came full circle though, was when he decided to host his team for another summer BBQ. You already had a ring on that finger (a ring he had put there after an especially romantic evening at Paz’s restaurant) and his house now truly reflected the both of you living there, but the prospect of seeing the man who had triggered it all still made you a little bit nervous.

It was hard to believe that only a year ago, you had tried to avoid Boba and the feelings he caused in you at all costs. And now you were engaged to him and could not imagine your life any other way.

A few guests were already mingling in the garden when you put out the last of the cutlery. Boba followed close behind, carrying the cooler out of the garage.

“Ready?” you asked, smoothing your hands over your yellow sundress. The hem was hitting mid-calf and you loved the little twirl it did. What you loved even more was the way your alpha had buried his head under that dress only a few hours ago.

“Ready,” he confirmed with mirth in his eyes. It would not surprise you if he knew exactly where your mind had been.

A wave of new guests arrived in the garden and you stiffened when you recognized one familiar face. And he recognized you.

“Hey,” Josh greeted you, his voice just as grating as you remembered, “I didn’t know you would be here.”

He did not try to hug you for which you were grateful but he also did not leave. You really wanted him to leave.

“Hi,” you forced yourself to smile, highly aware of Boba standing right next to you. His hand was on your lower back, warm and comforting as you faced the man who once called himself your perfect match.

“I’d say it’s good to see you, but, uh,” Josh looked to Boba, questioningly, “Why are you here, exactly?”

You wanted to scoff, you really did. But your body was tight with nerves and you did not like the eyes of the other guests on you. But you should have known that Boba would take care of you. He always did.

“C’mere, omega,” your alpha mumbled with a soft smile and your heart skipped a beat as his fingers gripped your chin and pulled you to him. And then he kissed you in front of everyone. Just a slow peck, nothing more, but you could not help but sigh against him, your hand landing on his warm chest.

He hummed, his scent surrounding you even in the open air and when he pulled away, you were both smiling. Pinewood and smoke were your favourite scents in the world.

Everybody was smiling, really, except for one.

“Do you wanna explain yourself?” Josh demanded, for the first time sounding displeased.

“I don’t think there is anything to explain,” you replied coolly, your hand still on Boba’s chest, smiling at the man in front of you. The diamond on your ring caught the sunlight but it was nothing against the blinding smile on Boba’s face.

Boba, who paid just as little attention to Josh as you, his eyes never leaving yours as he raised his hand to your face. “What can I say,” he grinned, his thumb brushing over the apple of your cheek, “She found her perfect match.”

[im-ovulating]

I've been seeing in influx of people saying this shit again, so… rant time!

Jacob wasn't attracted to the egg inside of Bella and, subsequently shouldn't have also been attracted to Edward's glittery swimmers.

Reasoning?

How about because Smeyer herself has denied that claim, first and foremost.

But let's say she didn't:

The imprinting happens between the shifter and a person… An egg isn't a person. A sperm isn't a person. A zygote isn't a person. An embryo isn't a person. And, finally, a fetus isn't a person. Only the fully developed baby is a person. Therefore, nothing happening in Bella's womb or ovaries (and certainly not in Edward's ballsack) has anything to with Jacob liking Bella.

Jacob was in love with Bella way before he even shifted, too.

Take it up with biology.

Next order of buisness:

JACOB NEVER WANTED TO BE TIED TO THE DEMON CHILD!!

His direct line of thinking was, "I'm gonna kill that freaky thing because it killed the woman I love -> oh shit, my entire being is being stripped away, and my own feelings and thoughts are being rewritten against my own wishes -> God damn it, now i can't even force myself to hold onto my hatred for this thing because I just became its emotional (and physical) slave." He lost his free will in that moment, unable to control his own thoughts and feelings. Here's an excerpt:

"The murderer stared past Rosalie's shoulder at me, its gaze more focused than any newborn creature's gaze should be.

Warm brown eyes, the color of milk chocolate the exact same color that Bella's had been.

My shaking jerked to a stop; heat flooded through me, stronger than before, but it was a new kind of heat-not a burning.

It was a glowing.

Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the half-vampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was - my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self - disconnected from me in that second -snip, snip, snip- and floated up into space." -Breaking Dawn, Chapter 18, page 306-307.

'Everything that made me who I was disconnected from me in that second and floated up into space.'

That is not something Jacob ever wanted. In fact, throughout the series, he doesn't hide that he hates the idea of imprinting... he lost his free will when he was forced to join the pack when he shifted (bc out of all the places in the world, the Cullens had to set up shop right where they knew their presence would cause a problem), so what makes you guys think that him hating his autonomy being compromised would suddenly go away when he was made to imprint on the thing that killed his childhood friend and love?

Even the official guide talks about how imprinting is completely out of the wolves' control.

"If the werewolf does imprint, he is forever changed. From the second he sees the object of his imprinting, he will do anything to please and protect her. All other commitments in his life become secondary, even his commitment to the pack." -The Twilight Saga The Official Illustrated Guide, page 310.

Also from the guide: "Once a werewolf transforms, his aging speeds up until he reaches the age of maturity, roughly twenty-five. At this point, as long as he continues to phase, he remains at that age. It's possible that a werewolf could choose to live this way forever and enjoy the same limited immortality as a vampire, but most Quileute werewolves give up phasing in order to grow old and die alongside their family and friends. Once a werewolf gives up phasing altogether, he slowly begins to age again until his aging reaches the normal human speed." -page 308

The wolves never age so long as they keep shifting... Renanameme is already clingy and possessive of Jacob. She's never going to let him stop phasing because she's going to want him around forever. So now, not only is he stuck with the creature that killed (yes, 'killed,' because vampires are dead) his love, but he is stuck living amongst the very creatures he was created to fight and kill. Forced to inhale their sickly sweet "almost rotten" scent for eternity as his baser instincts scream at him to eliminate them the way he was born to.

One last thing: Jacob never asked Edward if he should call him "Dad". That was a change they made for the movie. Originally, there was never a line even *close* to that in the books...

Okay... I could keep going, but I'm not sure anyone even read this far, so: rant over...

I'm just so sick of the Jacob slander coming from people who have either never fucking read the books or read them so long ago that they don't remember the integral parts of the thoughts and feelings of these characters.

Jacob is the victim here, not the perpetrator.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain, God 3

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's pov*

Being Poultryman was more fun then you thought it would be and that's saying a lot considering you already had high expectations. These last few days have been the most fun you have had in the last 10 billion years! It's just so different to actually be involved directly... People actually thank you for trowing eggs at other people.

And now you went one step further then just trowing eggs at criminala, you managed to fill mayor Ren's house with chickens! Every single room is filled witch chickens. Bathroom? Chickens. Kitchen? Chickens. Weird suspicious basement permeated with metallic scent? You better believe it, that's filled with chickens too.

You honestly can't wait for his reaction...

Thinking about it, it's weird how little surveilance the mayor has in his house... you got in without having to use any divine ability except for those that make up Poultryman's powers. And you would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for him.

"Stop righg there, scoundrel!" It's Hotguy to interrupt if it wasn't clear, you don't see why the hero association would send the number one hero after you but this is going to be fun. Any other god would have just smited him for interrupting but that would just be...so boooring. No, you are going to punish him in a much more... subtle way... ...Mentally.

"Hello there, Averageguy" You can see him process what you said in real time.

"It's Hotguy! Not ...that!"

"So narcisistic, no no no, you really need to chill down or I'll have to demote you to Mediocreguy"

"MEDIOCRE!? You can't just demote me!" Oh, he is fun, he's so sensitive to mockery.

"Too bad, you are Mediocreguy now, told you that you needed to chill down and you didn't listen".

At that he starts chasing you, took him long enough to remember his job is to catch you, of course you aren't going to be catched that easily. You are stil agod after all.

"I'll have you know I'm very chill you pesky bird!" Pesky bird? That's a new one.

"You are neither chill nor hot" You jump in the air and land behind him. "More of Lukewarmguy really".

Well, you could just lose him now but you wanna have a bit more fun before you leave.

"Come back here! You oversized chicken!"

Well now he's going to get egged, he brought it upon himself really- oh? One moment... You perceive a woman reporting for live television nearby... You suddenly have a devious idea and ou lunge towards her general direction.

*The following Clip was taken from Hermitopia Daily*

"-Shareholders predict that the new policy will be a strong step foward towards-"

*Suddenly a chicken themed man jumps in in the middle of the live recording*

"Hello there spectators! Sorry to interrupt!"

"P-poultry man!?"

*The man in the chicken costume turns towards the camera and takes out like ten 100 dollar bills*

"Hey mate, I'll give you these if you let me borrow that camera for a few seconds"

*The camera men speaks in the background*

"Huh...just don't break it? Please?"

"Thanks!"

*There is some shaking as Poultryman takes the camera and points it towards a very angry and tired looking Hotguy.*

"And there folks at home we have Loserguy."

"LOSERGUY!?"

"I know, before meeting you I thought you were cool too! Never meet your heroes they say, that's because they are very underwhelming."

*Hotguy jumps towards the camera, there's some more shaking and then the camera is pointing towards an Hotguy whose face is faceplanted onto the ground and who is groaning onto the floor*

"Well ... first of all, attacking me? That was rude. Second of all, if you are going to jump someone at least don't fall, It's just embarassing."

*Hotguy gets up with another frustrated groan and takes out his bow and arrow*

...

"Well, time to give back the camera to it's owner! Wouldn't want an arrow to break it after all!"

"You! Come back here!"

"Toodles Cringeguy!"

*The feed cuts for a few seconds, once everything is back online Hotguy is looking around like he's searching for something and Poultryman is gone... The reporter seems to snap out of her shock, the clip ends*

*Scar's pov*

You feel like a misbehaving child waiting for punishment, you are sitting in Cub's lab and he's frantically walking back and forth.

"It ... It wasn't that bad?" You don't know why you try to argue, you regret it immediately.

"Not that bad?! Scar- *sigh*"

Ok so maybe it was, but you can't stand the idea of Cub being mad at you... Or even worse: disappointed in you.

"I'll just...catch him next time! Yeah!"

"Not only did you fail you task, not only did you push yourself way too much AGAIN but you made a fool out of yourself on LIVE TELEVISION Scar. Do you even know how much respectability you lost because of this?"

Ok... Maybe It's better if you just don't speak...

"The screenshot of you laying on the ground is now a meme template! I don't even know how that has already happened since It's been two hours at most."

Still, you will catch that Pesky bird, no one calls you Cringeguy.

*Grian's pov*

...

You're the one that started the Hotguy template, you don't regret it one bit.

...

The internet is having a field day with it, Hotguy's pr team is definitely not.

...

This is so much fun already.

[teecupangel]

Why not just Desmond being an angel.

And it freaks everybody out and everybody thinks he's holy or something and he's just like "all right okay why not"

It had happened by accident.

It had to be an accident, right?

Altaïr had been thrown out of the room and the Templars had unsheathed their weapons. Malik had been focused on protecting his brother, shouting at him to run as he tried to keep all of the Templars busy.

Robert de Sablé didn’t even look back when he walked away after ordering their death.

Malik didn’t know what happened.

He saw Kadar freeze when he neared the scaffolding that would lead to the treasure and Malik swore his eyes glowed gold for the briefest of moments.

Before one of the Templars charged at him.

Kadar snapped out of it and tried to block, his stance unstable enough that he slipped backwards.

Into the scaffolding…

Taking the Templar with him.

The Templar’s sword struck one of the wooden pillars keeping the scaffolding stable and…

Malik didn’t have any explanation for it.

It shouldn’t have happened.

The scaffolding started to crumble, making Kadar and the Templar run away from it as fast as they could.

And then…

The wall next to the scaffolding began to break apart, golden light coming from the cracks before the entire thing fell down.

Together with the treasure and the ark where it had been resting.

The ark broke in half, splitting in the middle to reveal an egg shaped thing made of stone that was around the height of perhaps Malik when he was sitting on the floor.

The treasure fell on top of it, shattering like it was made of glass.

Where the shards fell on the stone, the stone changed and spread.

Until…

What had been stone had changed to seemingly three pairs of wings with white feathers that seemed to shine gold all curled together.

The wings twitched…

Before slowly opening, stretching to its full size.

Revealing a young man seemingly sleeping, the three pairs of wings attached to his back. His head was resting on his propped up knees.

No one could speak.

No one could move.

Until…

“Altaïr?” Kadar whispered hesitantly and Malik could see why he would call out that fool’s name.

The man looked too much like Altaïr for it to be a coincidence.

Almost as if hearing the name, the man…

No.

The divine being in front of them opened his eyes.

Instead of Altaïr’s golden eyes, his eyes were light brown with specks of gold in them.

And Malik wondered how he could see them from where he was standing, a few meters away from the winged being.

The divine being looked around and blinked.

His eyes met Malik and his lips parted.

“It’s an angel!”

Before he could speak, the Templars all knelt and began to pray.

The Templar who had attacked Kadar took off his helmet and…

It was a woman.

A woman who was praying fervently at the divine being who…

… looked at Malik with wide confused eyes.

Unorganized Notes… I mean… sorta notes?:

Desmond is surprised for a few seconds then he goes “Be not afraid” and tried to sound super impressive “Ye are in the presence of…………… the will of God.” and he’s just bullshiting his way to uuhhh. He has no plans.

He glanced at Malik and Kadar and oh yeah, alright.

“Ye shall not harm these… men of justice for they are… under my protection…?”

At that point, Desmond knows he is ffuuuccckkeedd. Malik is obviously onto him. Kadar is super confused and just keeps staring at his face. Then…

Maria, of all people, agree and even goes as pledge her sword to him which is super weird and Desmond’s just “???”

In the end, Desmond accidentally takes the Templars about to kill Malik and Kadar with him as he leaves the temple with Malik and Kadar. It’s a very awkward journey and Desmond has no idea what else to do other than…

Oh wait… there were other Templars stationed nearby and they all saw him leave with his ‘entourage’.

Before he could try to say anything, Maria speaks for him, calling the messenger of God and that he had been sleeping in the Ark of the Covenant which sounded like a super big deal (and he can’t even whisper to Malik to ask what the hell she was talking about because the Farm was never religious and the only time Desmond even heard of the Ark of the Covenant was from Indiana Jones) and…

… why does it feel like Maria was converting people into becoming his personal army???

Oh god… Was this…

Was he going to take his own army to Masyaf???

[basil-does-arttt]

What kind of humour would the dmc characters have?

Dante, especially after meeting Patty and Nero, loves a classic dad joke. He makes them so often that Lady and Trish just roll their eyes with a groan at this point, lol. Somewhere in the office he's got a book stashed away thats just a collection of dad jokes. Vergil i think seems like he doesn't have any sense of humor at all when you first meet him, but we know from DMC 3 he LOVES his sarcasm. Teasing, sarcastic quips and being sassy with people, even if he isn't full on laughing at it, is something i think he finds really funny. Only if its because it pisses other people (Dante) off. Nero's sense of humor i think is the same as a teenage boy's sense of humor. Gross and sometimes it makes you want to slap him across the face, but there are occasional moments where his jokes are genuinely funny and make you giggle a bit (before you force yourself to stop because that was NOT funny at all, didn't laugh one bit.) That and cat memes. Nico is the same, they egg eachother on untill one of them has to shut it down because its just getting a little bit TOO much. Lady i think enjoys dark humor, maybe a little bit too much at times. Its just her way of coping, yknow? Never any dark jokes to do with children though, she thinks thats crossing a line. Trish i think has a similar sense of humor to Vergil, but rather than pissing people off, she does it to see how flustered she can make somebody before they run away (ESPECIALLY Lady. seeing how red she can turn Lady before the poor woman has to retreat otherwise she'd explode... Trish's favourite past-time :3) Kyrie, partly in thanks to taking care of children for a good chunk of time, enjoys simple jokes that are usually reserved for little kids (stuff like "why did the chicken cross the road"). But also, i think she'd make the occasional dark joke herself. Its never anything too outrageous or shocking, but sometimes it is enough to make Nero pause and ask if she's okay lmao.