#or jesus. or washington. pick your poison

[nulfaga]

Also walked home trying to control my big stupid grin not because i dislike smiling in public but because if pressed i'd have to explain that i was smiling because i thought about cicero being called "the romulus of arpinum". get yours you old egomaniac

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter one - “to wakanda”

delicate masterlist

word count: 1.5k

synopsis: reader works for what used to be shield as a highly skilled neuropsychologist. after the events in vienna involving the sokovia accords and a bombing, she gets an interesting request from friend and coworker sharon carter...a request involving none other than steve rogers and james barnes.

warnings: brief and indirect mentions of abuse/trauma

pairings: bucky x fem!reader

"I don't know Sharon. Are you sure I'm really the right person for this? I'm not, like, an Avengers level tech. Are you sure they don't want a genius or someone like Stark to do it?"

"Well, Stark is pretty busy right now, and honestly, no one knows psych like you. Not who I've met anyway."

"That is so not true. I'm willing to bet there's tons of other people you guys got somewhere who are ten times what I am."

"Agent (Y/L/N), in case you missed it, SHIELD isn't what it used to be. Sure we have old agents who aren't formally 'SHIELD agents,' anymore, but we don't have the expendability we used to. You're our best bet at the moment."

"Damn. I'm your best bet. I'm sorry," she almost chuckled, but then she thought for a brief moment. "Are you sure this is completely necessary? I mean, I saw the photo on the news. The quality's poor at best, and..."

She leaned in, discretely, and whispered.

"...not to seem like a conspiracy theorist commie or anything, but it kinda seems like people are jumping to conclusions here. Are we even sure it was Barnes who set off the bomb?"

Sharon looked around them, cautiously. No one seemed to be listening, but she scanned the room like her life as she knew it was hanging in the balance. She weighed her words in her head, making sure she picked the right ones, then formulated a response appropriate.

"Regardless of if it was him or not, Barnes still escaped. and before that, Ste-we'd been looking for him for almost two years. This analysis is necessary," Sharon brought her voice down even lower. "At least that's what I keep being told. Of course I'd like there to be more solid proof, but I'm not in charge here. He's gone, and they want to be able to find him and 'sort things out.'"

"'Sort things out,'" (Y/N) repeated, questioning the genuineness of whomever told Sharon that. "Unless they have hard evidence that it was him who set off the bomb in Vienna, shouldn't they leave that to uh...Captain America?"

She wondered how Barnes was able to escape in the first place. She saw the containment module he was in; there's no way he could've gotten out without a fight. ...But maybe it wasn't a fight. Perhaps it was a trigger word induced rage. (Y/N) understood a basic layout of the "Winter Soldier." SHIELD would've kept any information they had classified. However, after the fiasco in Washington, d.c. with Hydra and the whole releasing of all files predicament, she was able, with Sharon's help, to put together a simple outline. With that being said, he couldn't have broken out without going Winter Soldier mode. But doesn't someone need the trigger words for that?

“That's what a reasonable person would think, but once again, I'm not in charge," Sharon shrugged. "Things would probably be going a lot smoother if I was, but you can't have everything."

(Y/N) cracked a smile. Sharon was a friend, and a good one too. They'd known each other since before SHIELD was shattered in 2014. In fact, Sharon helped train her.

The only thing was: Sharon was a higher ranking agent and often withheld certain information from (Y/N). It frustrated her. This was where their personal boundaries got in the way of their professional ones.

She could tell there was something Sharon wasn't telling her, but she wasn't about to compromise either of their positions by pushing for information she wasn't supposed to know. Hell, maybe even Sharon knows something she isn't supposed to. Or maybe she knows something that Everett Ross wouldn't like. What if she was keeping something from him? Defying him? What if she was working with Steve Rogers? Now that would be interesting.

(Y/N) was used to secrets around her all the time. She knew Sharon had her fair share, and trying to figure them out wouldn't really get her anywhere.

"Right. Okay. Well, I'll get on this then. Thanks, Agent Carter," she teased in late response to Sharon's 'Agent (Y/N).’

Sharon offered a quick smile before walking off to attend to other business.

- - -

Pain. That was all it was. In every sense of the word. As she strenously made her way through the densely packed file of one James Buchanan Barnes, pain was all she could see. All she could read. It leaked out of the page and seeped into her skin like poison.

It was horrific what they did to him. She knew he had his memory wiped, had someone pull him out and stick someone else in. But it was more than just that. They took his past, his memories, his thoughts; and they ripped them from his mind, leaving an empty space to mold into their own. It was after this when Hydra, in every way they could, dehumanized him, made him less than. He was striped of his freedom, his control, his choice, his humanity, of everything that made him him. They beat and bruised and broke it out this empty human shell until he was nothing but a shadow of faded morality and consciousness.

But hell, she couldn't look away. She was glued to the aftershock of this horrible wreckage. All the years of studying Psychology and Neuroscience couldn't have possibly prepared her for the absolute horror that was his past, his abuse, his torture. It was heinous. Frankly, she questioned how he was still alive. How he still had the will and the drive to be alive. How do you live after that?

"Fuck," she breathed after eons of silence.

She seemed to lose her sense of time whilst she was immersed in the harrowing nightmare of Hydra's cruelty. 'Cruelty' doesn't even come close to doing it justice. When she came to, her desk looked like a bomb went off. Papers were bursting out of manilla folders, littering the linoleum surface with classified files and secret information. She leaned back in her chair, and gave herself a minute to debrief.

(Y/N) almost felt guilty, like she things she looked at were so vile, so violating that she didn't have the right to see them. Sure, she had read and analyzed all sorts of trauma and psychological profiles. But he was different. Something about James Barnes was different. It tangled her mind the fact that a person could endure all that. She could only imagine the effect that would have on the human brain. The possibilities are endless. Suddenly bombing the UN didn't seem so far fetched.

- - -

"Jesus Christ," (Y/N) murmured, staring at her office floor as Sharon finished explaining to her what happened at the Leipzig Halle Airport.

She sat mostly in silence as she pondered over the information just fed to her. Apparently Tony Stark gathered a 'team' to try and intercept Captain America - sorry - Steve Rogers and his (supposed) fugitive friend. It was chaos.

"What is this? Fuckin' Avengers Fight Night?" she wondered aloud. "How many people did you say were there?"

"Twelve total," Sharon clarified. "Five with Stark and five with Steve."

The psychologist shook her head, dumbfounded. "How did it end?"

"Steve and Barnes got out, but everyone else with them were captured and sent to the Raft."

"The Raft?!" (Y/N) exclaimed. "That's for, like, super humans! Not people like Sam Wilson or Clint Barton!"

"You're telling me."

Sharon seemed in agreement with everything she was saying. However, there was something she couldn't quite place. Like she was holding back. But holding back what?

"So what of Rogers and Barnes?" (Y/N) pushed.

Sharon got up and closed the office door before returning to her seat, leaning in, and lowering her voice. This secretive woman, god damn it.

"Well... That's what I came to talk to you about."

Oh boy. She didn't have a semblance of a single idea of what to expect. Apparently Sharon noticed.

"We're the only ones that know this. They're fine..." the agent trailed off, "They're in Wakanda, but they need a little help."

"Are you leaving?!" (Y/N) all but yelled before quickly slapping a hand over her mouth and uncovering it only to whisper, "Do you and Rogers have a thing or something? Cause' I don't know how else you would know all of this when I'm sure that no one else does considering he's now an enemy of several governments!"

"My relations with Steve Rogers are not the focus here." She could've sworn Sharon flushed. "But we have been in contact; I'm one of the few people he can trust right now, and I don't plan on letting him down anytime soon."

They totally have a thing.

"Noted," said (Y/N) with a nod, "but why are you telling me this? Does he want the profile analysis or something? I don't see how he would need it if he's known Barnes for however long."

"Not exactly..." Sharon fidgeted with her hands. "We need you to go to Wakanda.”

-

[A/N:] this is a repost of chapter 1 because my masterlist is being fucky

[soulmusicsongs]

Soul Monologue in 18 tracks

Spoken monologues in soul music were very popular in the late 60s and the 70s Great voices and very emotional lyrics! These are 18 of my favorite Soul Monologues.

At Last - Jimmy Bee (Funky Way / At Last, 1971)

Boarding Pass - 100% Pure Poison (Coming Right At You, 1974)

Chappie James Suite - The Airmen Of Note (Brothers In Blue, 1974)

Do You Really Love Me - The Four Mints (Gently Down Your Stream, 1973) 

Dr. Felix - Ray Medina and The New Latin Breed (Dr. Felix / Head's Head, 196?)

En Casa Del Trompo No Bailes - Orquesta Riverside (En Casa Del Trompo No Bailes / Perdiste En Mi Un Querer, 197?)

Fascinating, Devastating Man - Eleanore Mills (This Is Eleanore Mills, 1974)

I Feel The Earth Move - Ruth Brown (The Real Ruth Brown, 1972)

If You Can't Give Her Love Give Her Up - Bobby Womack (The Facts Of Life, 1973) 

I'm Waiting On Time - The Williams Brothers (First Class Gospel, 1979)

Let’s Get It Together - The Fire Ants (Let’s Get It Together / We Are The People, 1976)

Letter To A Buddie - Joe Medwick (Letter To A Buddie / Stealing, 1963)

My Mother's Prayer - Albert Washington (Sad And Lonely, 1973)

No More Ghettos In America - Stanley Winston and The Soulful Sisters (No More Ghettos In America /  It's Alright, 1970)

A Soldier's Prayer - The Brooklyn Allstars (Just A Little Talk With Jesus, 1968)  

Who's It Gonna Be - Honey Cone ‎(Soulful Tapestry, 1971)

Write Me A Letter - The Firm of Hodges, James, Smith & Crawford (Let's Pick Up The Pieces / Write Me A Letter, 1972)

Ya! Ya! - Budd Johnson (Ya! Ya!, 1964)

More Lists

Soul Monologue: 15 Tracks

Soul Monologue in 20 songs

[angelthefirst1]

Diverged 2021, and converging.

We are getting very close to Beth, the symbolism in Diverged is extremely exciting.

What are we watching? A combination of many things... 1. Mostly Beth's missing funeral story (symbolically) 2. Repeats from 510 Them, 506 Consumed, Grady and many more... 3. A recap of Carol's past including her constant desire over the years to run away... Beth as Jesus = Light, salt, water symbolically, remember that as we go. And also Leah's knife = Beth. The previously on clip is showing the past and future at once. It's a play on Carol at Terminus saving the group while covered in walker slim, her family took her back in then, because of what she did to save everyone at Terminus, even though she was banished for killing Karen and David.

But...Carol here is also a Beth repeat and Lydia becomes Daryl. Daryl will do something to stop Beth's body being eaten/killed after Grady/The tower (which was the hospital) He will put/pull her somewhere safe just as Lydia does here with Carol, stopping her from dying.

Carol then talks about food being scarce, and Maggie's people returning, so there are more mouths to feed. Repeating season 5 when Carol first comes across Maggie's new group (Abraham and co)

Terminus had just been destroyed and the group had no supplies. Its also repeating the second time Maggie's people return...to the church after the failed trip to Washington because Eugene lied. Not long after returning with her people the second time, Maggie finds out Beth is alive.

Carol talks about the decisions she's made being all to protect them. Repeating her season 4 self killing Karen and David to "protect the group".

Back then Rick banished her effectively separating Daryl and Carol, which is re-done here in Diverged, because she “killed” Connie. Carol leaves Rick in a car with a "I love my dog" sticker...

Repeating her-this time leaving with actual Dog... As I mentioned in my previous post on Diverged, Carol leaving at the crossroads with Dog is also a representation of Beth and Carol both ending up at Grady.

They are combining and converging every scene where Carol/Daryl, Beth/Daryl go in different directions... The opening scene shows Carol and Daryl walking together, Carol struggling to open her water bottle. Daryl offers to help, but Carol won't let him, just like this scene below from season 5, after Terminus.

Daryl offers to help carry the water, he even spills water on the ground, which he repeats when he gives Dog a drink.

Daryl then offers "Leah's" (Beth's) knife to Carol to help get into the water bottle, inverting Carol giving Daryl, Beth's knife in 510.

This scene is a combination of Carol following Daryl when looking for water in 510, giving him the knife and then leaving. In 510 Carol asks to come looking for water, Daryl says no but Carol says "You gonna stop me" repeating her jumping on the back of his bike in "Find me" even though he didn't want her to come...

He didn't stop her then or now, and we see them exchange knives and Carol go a different way, while Daryl wants to stay out longer to look. Just like 510, when they don't find water Carol says " We should head back" Daryl says "nah, I'll stay out a little longer" and then the knife exchange happens, it's reversed.

All this, is about repeating and converging the events leading up to Beth's Death, inverted they will lead to Beth alive... Past, present and future combined = infinity When Carol first gets back to Alexandria she comes across this scarf... 

This scarf is a call back to her head scarf in 304, the episode Rick (Daryl) loses his wife (Future wife Beth). Carol lost this head scarf while in the tombs...

Carol and T-(dog) get stuck together while in the tombs where Carol loses her head scarf, which Daryl eventually finds and throws away on the floor.

Carol finds it on the floor and eventually puts it in the trash, at the end of this episode... Carol and T-(dog) in the tombs with her head scarf is also repeating Beth and Noah at Grady trying to escape.

Surrounded by walkers Carol/Beth shoot at them in the dark. The lights go on and off, but the opposite happens in that Beth doesn't escape Grady just like T-(Dog) while Carol/Noah do. The lost head scarf will eventually become Beth's, in that it will be used to wrap her head wound after Grady, but she then gets "lost in the tombs" or goes missing for all these years...

The one Carol finds even has a "gun shot hole",and she wants to "Fix it" because somebody (Daryl) loved it!

She finds the head scarf which someone dropped during "The evacuation" basically repeating Carol "evacuating"-running into the tombs from the past and in the future it will come off Beth's head when she "evacuates" or leaves her "tomb" because of walkers-around the time of her funeral. Carol offers to make soup (so around the time Beth's funeral/body is lost, someone tries to make food for the group) Stone soup is a story about strangers convincing a village to share their food to make soup for everyone. 

Part of me thinks this will possibly come into play after Grady at the White houses, possibly with Chase, who was seen filming at the houses. Strangers will want some of the supplies the group found at the food bank before Coda and I have a feeling they will probably "pirate" the food, not so much "share it"-like the stone soup story depicts.

More like the book Carol picks up, mid way through making the soup would suggest...

So... we have: 1. A lost head scarf/bandage 2. An offer to prepare food. Possibly by a stranger. (Stone soup story) 3. A "rat" causing a... 4. Lack of food. 5. And Carol/Beth going missing into the "tombs" Beth like Carol will lose her "head scarf" or bandage as she "disappeared" into the dark "tombs" after her "funeral". Opposite to Carol

It’s during the time Carol is in the tombs, that Rick hallucinates Lori, the three stories combined (Carol, Sofia and Lori) will lead to Beth

Carol offers to make the soup with mushrooms...

Which could be what leads to Daryl hallucinating. As I talked about in Find me 2018, when Daryl was hallucinating Merle during his search for Sofia, Merle accused him of eating special mushrooms, which made him "see" the Chupacabra a blood sucking dog ("Walker" Beth after her funeral).

Daryl in the episode Chupacabra is looking for Sofia so it's fitting that this is repeated with his search for Beth (Sofia 2.0) If this "Rat"/"Stranger" convinced the group to let them make food for everyone, they could have "spiked" the food with special mushrooms. Leaving the group especially Daryl in a vulnerable state, unable to fight back and making it easy to steal their supplies and leave. Meanwhile Beth gets out of her "resting place" whether that's in a car or coffin and she leaves or gets taken away. (I'll explain this more soon)

Daryl then sees what he thinks is "Walker Beth" the blood sucking dog or Chupacabra fulfilling season 2 episode 5.

This delusion could also be in part the reason for the episode we now know as 2018 Find me. If he is somewhat intoxicated with some form of poisoning and then tries to find Beth, it could make some sense of 2018. Jerry says to Carol

Which is symbolic of Beth the "Light of the world" being broken or gone. Biblically it represents Jesus and his followers “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden" "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven” Carol later in the episode fixes the lights with the solar panel using Leah's knife (Beth) but it ends up flashing on and off again too, when the rat gets away. Which would also = Beth leaving, because the two are connected, which I will go through soon...

Carol adds salt to the soup, and she uses "Beth's" knife to get into it just like the water bottle.

Jesus who we all know Beth's story is paralleling, is not only called the light of the world and the living water that wells up to eternal life...but his followers are called the salt of the earth. Jesus said: You are the salt of the earth, but if the salt has lost its flavor, with what will it be salted? It is then good for nothing, but to be cast out and trodden under the feet of men. Salt is used as a preservative to save meat and food from spoiling, as Jesus saves and is the cure to mans soul being separated from God for sinning and falling from grace. This is why Beth is going to bring a cure at some point, because just as Jesus provides a cure to mankind, she will too... Beth the (knife, salt and light) is in the same location as the food and Carol. Carol adds salt to the soup but also throws salt over her shoulder which is something done as a superstition after a funeral, to keep away bad spirits.

Depicting this is about Beth's funeral. Carol then hears dog (Daryl) going crazy in the next room he is destroying the room trying to find the "rat". When Carol goes to check on Daryl the dog she leaves the knife (Beth) with the food. It's while Both Carol and Daryl are not around that the rat runs into where Beth and the food are kept. Someone in those 3 missing weeks is a "Rat" that compromised Beth and the group, leading to her going missing... This theme was backed up by Father G saying that they sacrificed one of their own, referring to the aftermath of events with Beth.

As Carol is trying to settle dog (Daryl) Carol picks up The Golden Age Of Piracy, a book about:

Whomever they come across during Beth's "funeral" and while food is being prepared will be a "pirate" or thief. But it's also referring to 509 when Ty on the radio hallucinates hearing about inhabitants of coastal towns being plundered and attacked. This will come into play again when Beth is back but a version of it would have happened back then too. Carol is telling Daryl the "dog" off, for going crazy because of this "rat".

The rat has chewed through or compromised Daryl's lamp or "light" (Beth) and Daryl the dog is not happy...

Dog then runs after the rat and in the process the little food Carol had gets destroyed...

Sirius reference is always about Beth, but it also now links Beth to the “missing” food.

I’m thinking that the car Beth will be left in will also have the groups supplies in it and the rat will take off with both.

The rat gets away, Carol banishes Dog (Daryl) and Carol tires to catch the rat so she makes a trap using Leah's knife (Beth), but then she needs butterfly pliers to finish it, so she goes and gets a set in Daryl's room.

The funny thing is that Daryl is doing the exact same thing on his mission, because the tubing on his vehicle has been “Chewed through” just like the lamp.

Carol then lays the trap for the rat and says:

Daryl repeats and inverts this later on when he kills the soldier walker... linking the "rat" to these "soldiers" So Daryl goes looking for this "soldier/rat" and finds it stuck in "a trap"... He looks for this soldier rat on foot because his ride is not working, and he doesn't have the knife (Beth) which he panics over losing...

He kills the "soldier" and takes back what the soldier/Rat "stole"... Food, ammo and a set of butterfly pliers...which is what Carol needed to finish the trap.

And again, along the way he sees "walker Beth" the Chupacabra...

Which he doesn’t put down...

They are repeating and inverting this, going one way with Carol and another way with Daryl, but Daryl and Carol's stories here are the same. Prior to this we see Daryl is out in his own and his main mission is to get his broken down ride (motorbike) going...

He is searching high and low through cars for a replacement tube. As i said before the tube has also been "chewed" from the looks of it, just like the lamp wire, by the rat.

His search though cars is not only repeating he search for the car with the white cross that took Beth originally, but it seems Daryl after Grady, will repeat this search for Beth who gets taken in a second car. 

This bottom picture is from 509, while the top two are from 1021

The "Rat" not only drugs them and steals their supplies and Beth’s body, but also stops them following by "chewing" through or messing with their vehicle so it doesn't work... Again linking the "rat" to the problem's with Daryl’s vehicle... Daryl can't find Leah's knife (Beth), because he left it with Carol...

Carol does catch the rat, in her trap for a time, but it gets away, and runs into the hole in the wall which she then blocks up with the scarf...

So Carol may well have this rat trapped but lets it get away, leading to the events above and Daryl trying to follow and kill the rat to get Beth and the supplies back.

The hole in the wall = Beth's bullet wound which gets covered with the scarf... Symbolically I believe the wall with hole/scarf and the rat hiding behind it, is Beth in a car possibly being driven away and used as a “shied” by the rat...

So Daryl hunts the rat and sees the Beth walker at a distance but can’t get to her. Once he has killed the solider rat (there ends up being 3 of them) and gets the tools he needs, he starts fixing his bike.

This takes all night and while he works we hear wolves howling in the distance. A good sign that Beth is close considering she is the Wolf that will come home.

And a call back to 509 where Michonne stands in front of the Wolves not far sign. Carol and dog share a bed for the night and it's telling future Beth/Daryl romantic story, but also Daryl with Beth's “body” wanting to be close to her and possibly kissing her, because "the fights gone out of her"...

It's also depicting Beth and Carol at Grady with Dawn. Dawn talks about Noah coming back, because they always come back...

Obviously it’s a callback to Beth saying “you miss him don’t you” to Daryl regarding Merle.

And...Carol leaving the group after Terminus, Daryl comes along to stop her leaving and that's what leads to them taking off after the car with the cross and finding Beth.

Which is then depicted in the very next scene as Daryl gets his bike going and takes off along this road repeating this...

Carol and Dog (Daryl) then go down stairs with flashlights and look for the hole in the wall with the scarf (Beth) and the rat. Repeating but reversing Daryl and Carol back in Consumed looking for Beth when they sleep at an emergency accommodation at a place that Carol had been before.

Carol fighting through the wall, will be inverted with Beth fighting to get out of a car or coffin and that's why we see through it from the other side.

It's will also be what causes Beth's head scarf covering her bullet hole to get caught and left behind.

Carol sits down exhausted after trying to get through the wall and dog comes and sits next to her...

Repeating Carol being found in the tombs by Daryl, exhausted but alive-but not wearing her scarf.

Carol tells Jerry she had a bad day and Jerry figures out its because she didn't come back with Daryl, repeating Carol being taken to Grady and not coming back with Daryl. Jerry says 2+2 = Eureka

2+2 episode 22?

Let's hope! Carol tries to give Daryl Leah's knife back (Beth) But it stays with her because Beth the knife and Carol are symbolically both at Grady.

In the future we may see Daryl try to return Beth's real knife to her. Daryl and Carol end the way they began by going separate ways, but this time it's with doors closing.

Daryl and dog (Carol) go one way and Carol (Beth) the other. Carol goes into the “Car” garage, repeating Beth getting in to the car on the way to Grady. All why the music plays "Oh oh oh" (oh moment)

In the future we will see Daryl and Beth together and Carol go a different way. One last thing I want to talk about is this drawing in Daryl's room. While it's "Dog" front on, it's also a side portrait of 2 creatures touching noses or kissing...

Aw....

[atths--twice]

Chapter Two

2/9

FBI Headquarters Washington, D.C. December 14, 2017 7:30 a.m.

Scully stepped off the elevator with a shiver, holding tightly to the coffees in her hands, hoping it would help to warm her up. The basement was always colder than the rest of the building, something for which she was thankful in summer but not so much in the winter.

Shivering once again, she set one of the cups on the shelf behind her. Reaching to open the door to their office, it was pulled open from the inside, causing her to pull her hand back.

“Jesus,” Mulder said, his eyes wide as he let out a deep breath.

“Scare you?” she teased and he shook his head and cleared his throat.

“No. No, I don’t get scared.” He cleared his throat again, adjusting his tie as she nodded with a smirk.

“Mm-hmm,” she hummed and he looked down at the coffee in her hand.

“Where’s mine?”

“Oh. Did you ask me to get you a coffee?”

“No. But… I would have gotten you one.” He pouted and she mirrored his expression, before turning her head and glancing behind her at the green to go coffee cup with white snowflakes.

“Ah, Scully,” he said, stepping out of the office and picking it up.

“It’s sugar free,” she deadpanned and he paused, the cup nearly to his lips.

“Why? Why would you do that?” He sighed and pouted again. She laughed and he exhaled as he shook his head. Tentatively, he took a drink as she raised an eyebrow. “Mm… delicious sugar. You lie.”

“Hmm…” She shrugged with a soft smile, stepping into the office and setting her coffee onto the desk. He walked in behind her and shut the door. “One day, I will get you sugar free.” She started to unbutton her coat and then thought better of it.

“You may as well throw your money directly into the trash then,” he said, taking a drink and she laughed softly, glancing at him as she sat down. “Are you cold?”

“Yeah. It’s always cold in here in the morning.”

“It shouldn’t be today. I fixed the heater.”

“You did?” she asked skeptically and he nodded as he sat behind the desk, leaning back as he took another drink.

“I can fix some things.” She stared at him, narrowing her eyes, and he rolled his eyes at her. “Fine, I had the heat fixed. Happy now?”

“I find honesty is always best,” she said with a shrug, picking up her cup and taking a drink, looking at him over the lid.

“Mm-hmm,” he hummed with a smile. “Well, then I guess I should be honest and tell you it won’t really matter for long if the room is warm or not because we have a case.”

“Do we?”

“Indeed.” He stood up and set his coffee down, walking toward the television and then sitting back down after turning it toward them and grabbing the remote.

She sighed as she waited, watching him and wondering what he would do if, instead of some video he was excited to show her, she took the remote from his hand and kissed him. If she kicked off her heels and straddled him in his chair. It would not be the first time, well… for that particular office chair it would be, but not for the thought of it in her head.

What would he do if she did? Rising over him, her hair longer than it had been in years, hanging in her face as she stared at his lips, waiting to kiss them after not doing so in so long. She licked her lips, remembering the taste of them after his morning cup of coffee; his kiss like an oasis in the driest of deserts.

“Uh… Scully? Hello? Did you hear me?”

“What?” she asked, swallowing hard and letting out a breath, her face flushed. Well, she was more than warm enough now. Setting down her coffee, she stood up and unbuttoned her coat, taking it off and laying it on her chair.

“Warm now?” he asked with a smile and she nodded.

You have no idea, she thought, squeezing her thighs together to help ease the ache between her legs.

“As I was saying, we have a case in New Orleans.” He looked at her and she nodded again, waiting for him to go on. “There has been… well some unusual activity and we’ve been asked to help.”

“What kind of activity?”

“Unexplained murders,” he said, handing her a file. She took it from him and looked through it, breezing over the report and examining the photos.

“I remember hearing about this. The kids, well… not “kids” technically, but college aged, they’d had a party at an abandoned church and…”

“Parties- plural,” Mulder interjected and she looked up, her eyebrows raised.

“I only heard about one. It happened on Halloween.”

“Right, that’s the file you have there. The second one was on Thanksgiving at a plantation style house. Same type of party, same outcome, though not as many affected.” She shook her head and looked back down at the file.

“Do you have the information from the second party?”

“No, we’ll be briefed once we get down there. But, the sheriff sent me some photos. I’ve hooked it up so we can look at them on the television.” She glanced up at him, giving him an amused look. “Easier to see.” He shrugged and she nodded slowly, knowing he had fought with her in the past about needing new glasses. He cleared his throat and pressed a button on the remote.

Closing the file, she folded her hands in her lap and turned to look at the television. The screen was filled with photos of the crime scene: the house, the grounds, and the victims lying facedown on the grass.

Standing to her feet, she put the file on the desk and stepped closer to the television,  crossing her arms as she looked at the screen. There was no evidence of blood nor any obvious signs of assault.

“What was the cause of death? I don’t see any injuries.”

“Because there aren’t any, just like the first party,” Mulder said, getting up and standing beside her.

“Is it poison of some kind?” She looked at him and he shook his head.

“Toxicology only showed alcohol and marijuana, but that was only for the first party. The results for the second one should be in soon.”

“But they must assume the same, judging by the photos of bottles of alcohol.”

“Hmm,” he hummed and she shook her head.

“So, what was the cause of death?”

“Exposure. For both.” She scoffed and looked at him.

“Exposure? In New Orleans? In October?”  He nodded and pursed his lips. “But you don’t buy that?”

“I looked up the weather for Halloween and Thanksgiving and combined, it never got lower than mid-50’s. Which I admit, is a bit chilly, but what do you say, Doctor Scully? Could someone die from exposure in those temperatures?” He tilted his head and she shook hers.

“It’s dependent on many variables, but…”

“While I don’t know all of the details about the party on Thanksgiving, the one on  Halloween started around 8 p.m. and the cops were on scene by 2 a.m.” He picked up the file from the desk and showed her the paperwork. Shaking her head again, she sighed.

“Witnesses say that the group of kids attacked were in and out of the church but the DJ said he remembered seeing them inside at midnight and a little after, because everyone was inside dancing to a particular song being played. No one saw them again until they all heard screaming from outside.” She turned a few pages and looked at the photos, shaking her head, her brow furrowed.

“If they were outside for less than two hours, even in the lack of clothing some of them wore, it’s impossible to have so many of them die of exposure. It just doesn’t happen.” She closed the file, holding it to her chest as she looked up at him. “I assume you have a theory.”

“I always have a theory,” he said with a grin and nodded slightly.

“So, what do you think happened then?”

“Funny you should ask,” he said, turning toward the television.

“Ohhh, it’s never a good sign when you say that,” she grumbled, setting the file down and crossing her arms with a sigh. She turned on her heel and faced the television, already dreading what he would consider a logical theory.

A photo flashed onto the screen and she drew in a deep breath.

“Mulder, absolutely not.”

“Hear me out first.”

“I will not hear you out when you’re suggesting something so ludicrous.”

“What’s ludicrous about it?” She looked at him and scoffed, pointing at the television as she shook her head.

“You suggesting the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who, is ludicrous. That is a television show.” She exhaled and he hummed.

“But that you knew it immediately, Scully… that’s so hot.”

“Of course I knew what it was, how many times did you make me watch that particular episode? And the subsequent ones that followed?”

“Made you…” he scoffed and shook his head. “Like you didn’t enjoy watching them.”

“I enjoyed watching David Tennant…” she said quietly, looking down and then back up at him.

“I am very aware of that,” he sighed and shook his head. Rolling his eyes, he mumbled something that sounded like really great hair, and she smiled.

“You have two minutes to explain your ludicrous theory. And I don’t want to hear the name Weeping Angels.”

“As that particular name wasn’t used, that will be fine.” He rubbed his hands together and took a deep breath. She tapped her watch and he gave her a look.

“The only eyewitnesses both stated, separately mind you, that they saw what looked like an angel- ethereal being-” he corrected himself as she raised an eyebrow in warning. “An ethereal being walking in the graveyard.”

“This was on Halloween?”

“Yes, and before you think you’ve figured it all out, no one was dressed as an an…gel that night.”

“Nice save,” she scoffed and he smiled with a wink. “So… they say they saw an angel, how did they describe it?”

“They said it was…” He picked up the file and turned a couple of pages. “A large statuesque person, long white dress, seeming to glow from the inside and around it.” Both of them said nearly the same thing when interviewed separately.” He set the file down and crossed his arms as he looked at her.

“That doesn’t mean it was a statue of an angel come to life,” she said, raising her eyebrows and he shrugged. “Mulder…”

“How many unexplainable things have we seen over the years, Scully? Or have I seen as you seem to nearly always miss it?” He raised his eyebrows back at her and she closed her eyes briefly with a sigh. “There are no other suspects, no evidence to go on- footprints, fingerprints, DNA… nothing.”

“Aside from the other people at the party,” she said logically.

“Who have all been cleared,” he replied pointedly.

“It still doesn’t mean it was an… ethereal being, or a statue come to life,” she said, gesturing to the television and glancing at the Weeping Angel. “God, but that thing is creepy.”

“Imagine seeing it in person,” he muttered and she stared at him.

“Stop. That’s not what it was.”

“That’s what we’re going to find out,” he said as he turned off the television and grinned at her. “Be sure to pack your sparkliest strings of beads, Scully, and lots of ‘em, we’re headed to New Orleans.”

__________________

Guesthouse Inn New Orleans, Louisiana 9 p.m.

Tired and grumpy, Scully opened the door to the motel office and was greeted to an overwhelming scent of pine and cinnamon. A giant Christmas tree, decorated within an inch of its already depleting life, stood in the middle of the room with faux wrapped gifts sitting beneath it. Christmas carols played from a speaker overhead and Scully, who normally loved the holidays, thought if she heard Silent Night one more time she really would take out her gun and start taking hostages.

Their journey to New Orleans had not gone exactly as planned. The flight had been delayed an hour and then two. They’d had to change gates and then hurry back when their original gate had been announced, forcing them to run quickly through the airport.

Once they were on the plane, they had sat at the gate for twenty minutes before departing, Mulder cracking sunflower seeds the entire time, no matter how many looks she had given him, the sound like nails on a chalkboard when she had already been annoyed.

The flight had been terrible, the turbulence causing her to grip her armrest for most of the journey. They had been forced to land in Baton Rouge, nearly an hour and a half from their destination.

Discovering the air conditioner was broken after they had driven away and the rental place had closed, was icing on top of an already shitty cake. Their drive over was loud with the windows rolled down, the car too humid if they left them up. It made it impossible to speak without yelling, so they had eventually given up.

A new rental car would be brought over and exchanged in the morning, but right now all she could think about was taking a shower and sleeping.

“Evening and Happy Holidays!” A dark haired woman said with a smile. “Welcome to the Guesthouse Inn. My name is Moira. Did y’all have a reservation?”

“Yeah,” Mulder said, waking in behind Scully. “Two rooms, under the name  Mulder.”

“Great, let me just check.” She typed away on the computer and Scully closed her eyes, already envisioning the warm shower that would wash away the travel day from hell.  

“Oh, what’s this?” Mulder asked and she opened her eyes. He held a brochure in his hand that advertised a haunted walking tour with the Voodoo Bone Lady.

“Mulder,” she said under her breath and he glanced at her. She shook her head slightly as he glanced back at the brochure.

“Excuse me, Moira, could you tell me more about this?” he asked and she smiled, abandoning the keyboard, much to Scully’s despair.

“The Voodoo Bone Lady is the best tour in the area. She’s a voodoo priestess, who will take you through the St. Louis Cemetery as she tells you about ghosts, voodoo, vampires, and zombies. It’s seriously the best. The last one for the night is at ten. I can get you tickets if you’d like?” She smiled and Mulder nodded excitedly as he looked back at Scully. She sighed and shrugged, knowing there was no chance they would not be going on that tour.

An hour and a half later, after a quick shower, she was trying to hold back her yawns. It was not that the tour was boring, on the contrary, she had been creeped out a few times against her better judgment. But, she was also tired and longing to lay down before the case began in earnest.

Falling behind the rest of the small group, she was thankful it was not just them so she could disappear a little. Her attention was waning and so instead she watched Mulder, smiling at his excited questions to the voodoo priestess and his discussions with the others in the group. Shaking her head, she thought of how, even after all this time, he was still the same. Still him, and yet things were different…

He was quieter at times, not rushing headlong into things as he had in the past- a haunted voodoo tour through New Orleans notwithstanding. He was more attentive, picking up her favorite food or a coffee as he had mentioned earlier, or suggesting a movie night as they were spending more time together outside of work.

Things were different, but there was so much that was still the same. Especially the way she felt about him. The way she had always felt about him.

Even from the very beginning, he had a claim on her, as much as she had tried to fight it. He was her polar opposite, how could she not have fallen head over heels?

Looking at him again, something suddenly caught in the corner of her eye, and she turned her head. Down the long rows of vaults and tombs, she thought she saw something moving. Stopping, she watched, knowing there had not been anyone there when they had all passed by it a few minutes ago.

Stepping forward, curious if there was a need to be alarmed, she felt a touch on her shoulder, causing her to jump and gasp.

“Sorry. You okay?” Mulder said, staring into her eyes with an apologetic smile.

“Yeah. Sorry. I thought… it was probably nothing.” She gave him a small smile and he nodded, turning back to their tour group. Stepping closer to them, she looked over her shoulder once again, but saw nothing. Trying to shake off the feeling, she stayed close for the rest of the tour.

When they had finished, thanking the priestess for the tour, they drove back to the hotel. Walking through the festively lit courtyard between their rooms, and past the second overly decorated Christmas tree, they said goodnight.

Taking another quick shower, she put on a pair of soft pajama bottoms and one of Mulders old long sleeved shirts and paced the room, suddenly feeling wide awake. She felt off, as though someone was watching her. She pulled the curtain back and looked outside, double checking that there was no one standing out there, her heart racing.

The majority of her vision was obscured by the bright lights and the large tree. But she could also see that the light was on in Mulder’s room, and she debated whether or not she should go talk to him, even though she knew he would tease her mercilessly for feeling that way. But before she could convince herself to go over, his light turned off and she sighed, letting the curtain drop.

“You’re being ridiculous, Dana,” she muttered. Turning off her own light, she walked over to the bed and sat down.

Standing up quickly, she walked to the bathroom and opened the door. Turning on the light, she closed the door halfway, and walked back to the bed. Laying down, she took a deep breath as she stared up at the ceiling.

“Now go to sleep,” she said quietly, smoothing down the blankets, shaking her head as she closed her eyes. “Just sleep.”

Reciting the bones in the body to help her fall asleep, she began to relax, finding comfort in things she could control and count on.

As she turned over with a deep sigh, the long day finally taking its toll, she did not notice the shadow that passed by just outside her window.

[trashcanreddiefan]

Pick Your Poison (Reddie Undercover Cop AU) 2/?

Summary: By-the-book DEA agent Edward “Eddie” Kaspbrak receives an assignment that takes him to Derry, ME in order to capture Robert “Bob” Gray, aka “Pennywise”, a notorious drug lord. Working with the local PD, he is partnered with Detective Richie Tozier, a wise-cracking, messy cop who immediately pushes Eddie’s buttons. When they have to go undercover as a pair, will they put aside their differences long enough to work together, or will working together reveal that they have more in common than they initially thought?

Word Count: 1067 for chapter 2.

Warnings: Canon-typical violence (in later parts), swearing, mentions of drug use, other tags to be updated as necessary for each part

Author’s Note: Slow-burn, Dual-PoV Reddie AU inspired by this gifset by the lovely @toesure!

Tagging: @yourpersonalsleepparalysisdemon

CROSS-POSTED AT AO3

“Sorry I’m late, Cap,” Detective Richie Tozier drawled as he strolled into the Derry PD’s conference room for the mid-week departmental meeting, a box of doughnuts in each hand. “Derry Doughnuts was busier than usual.”

“It’s ok, we just started,” Captain Bill Denbrough replied. “Have a seat.”

Richie snagged a bavarian cream-filled doughnut out of the box and set it on the table near the door before taking an empty seat at the small, round conference table.

“Anyway, as I was saying, I just got off the phone with the DEA’s office in Washington. It appears that the new street drugs we’re seeing as well as the uptick in drug-related deaths could possibly be connected with a major drug dealer named Robert Gray, also known on the streets as ‘Pennywise’. It’s rumored that he’s set up shop here in Derry, so we will be collaborating with the DEA, who has sent an agent familiar with the case to assist us in bringing him down.”

Captain Denbrough looked at his notes. “Director Eastwood has requested that the agent be shown the latest scene before we release the house tomorrow. Richie, since this is your case you’ll be meeting them in half an hour at the location.”

Richie saluted Captain Denbrough. “Aye, aye, Captain.”

“Ben, Bev, you guys continue your investigation into the Mellon murder. We don’t know if this is connected yet or not.”

Detectives Ben Hanscom and Beverly Marsh both nodded.

“The rest of you will each be receiving a photo of Pennywise on your way out, so keep on the lookout for him while you’re on patrol.” He nodded over to the department’s sketch artist, Stanley Uris, who held a stack of photos. “Alright, let’s have a safe day, people.”

“And grab some doughnuts on your way out!” Richie called out as everyone began to clear out. “Last time it was my turn for doughnut duty I wound up having to bring the extras to my informants.”

When it was just him and Captain Denbrough, he sighed. “So, the DEA is getting involved, huh?”

Captain Denbrough scrubbed a hand over his face. “Yeah, looks like it, Rich. I shouldn’t be surprised though. We haven’t seen a drug problem this big here in what, 27 years? Not since–” He cut himself off.

Richie placed a hand on Captain Denbrough’s shoulder. “You can’t keep blaming yourself for that, Bill. Georgie’s death wasn’t your fault.”

Captain Denbrough sighed, but said nothing.

“I promise you, man, I’m doing everything I possibly can to stop it for good this time,” Richie continued. “I’ve got feelers out to all my informants and I’ve spent day and night trying to trace the source of the drugs, so hopefully this DEA agent will have some insight on how this Pennywise guy works so we can locate him.”

Captain Denbrough looked over at the wall clock. “Speaking of, you better get going or else you’re gonna be late.”

“Right, don’t want to keep them waiting.” He gave Captain Denbrough a once-over. “You good, buddy?”

Captain Denbrough nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay.” He nodded over at the boxes of doughnuts. “Think there’s any bear claws left?”

Richie grinned and pulled a white pastry bag out of his inner jacket pocket. “Saved you one.”

“Thanks, Rich. You’re the best.”

“Just remember that when it comes time for my evaluation,” Richie joked. “Alright, I’m out of here. I’ll report back later.”

“Alright, be safe out there.”

Richie stopped by his desk for the key to the scene before heading to his red Mustang convertible. He cranked up the radio and sang along down the streets of Derry, turning the music down when he reached the street that the house was on.

He pulled up to the curb, staring at the classic muscle car that was sitting in the drive. Definitely didn’t expect a DEA agent to drive that, he thought. He froze as the door opened and the most attractive man Richie had ever seen got out of the car.

Hot guy hot guy hot guy hot guy hot guy hot guy, his brain chanted as the guy shut the door.

The man appeared shorter than Richie’s 6'1 and was thin but muscular, with short, curly dark hair and brown eyes. He was wearing jeans and a plain black t-shirt with a black leather jacket/hoodie combo over it.

Richie suddenly wanted to feel the man’s neatly trimmed facial hair between his thighs. I am so fucked, he thought.

He quickly killed the engine and stepped out of his car, plastering a grin on his face and bounding up the driveway. “Hey, man, how’s it going?”

The man appraised him. “You’re from the Derry PD?” he asked incredulously.

“Yeah, sure am.” Richie stuck a hand out. “You must be the agent sent to help with the Pennywise case.”

The agent looked at him like he was contagious before seeming to steel himself and shaking Richie’s hand. “Agent Edward Kaspbrak, DEA.” He reached in his back pocket as he spoke and pulled out his badge, flashing his identification as well.

Richie started digging in his pockets. “Ahh, shit, hang on, I’ve got my credentials around here somewhere…”

He turned and ran back to his car, grabbing his wallet off the passenger seat where he had tossed it before leaving the station. “Yeah, ok, here we go, since we’re being all official and shit… Detective Richie Tozier, Derry PD.” He quickly showed his badge before stuffing it in his jacket pocket. “So, uh, Agent Kaspbrak, how are you liking Derry so far?”

Agent Kaspbrak gave him a withering stare. “Well, let’s see, I drove 9 hours straight and got 2 hours of sleep at the one piss-poor excuse for a hotel in this town…”

“Ahh, yeah, the good old Derry Townhouse,” Richie replied. “You know, I’m not exactly sure anyone actually works there.”

“Not to mention the fact that I couldn’t even shower properly this morning because I’m pretty sure someone had been stabbed in the bathroom.  Then I get here and the liaison from the local PD is late meeting me.”

“Jesus dude, it was only by about two minutes,” Richie muttered.

“What was that?”

“I said shall we head on in?” Richie swept an arm towards the door and gestured for Agent Kaspbrak to head inside, trying resolutely not to stare at his ass as Richie followed behind him.

[noplceinheaven]

“You’re sick and you need to rest” with burrmads? If you write them?

As soon as the curtains are pulled, Aaron lets out a hiss and covers his head with the blankets. “Come on, Aaron, baby,” James says, trying to pull the blanket off. “You need to get up.”“Oh, fuck off,” Aaron murmurs, turning around to lay on his side. “In a second, James, please.”“Now,” James insists. “If you get to work late Alexander will definitely notice.”Aaron groans. “This is blackmail.” He gets up anyway, legs shaky as he puts slippers on and goes to the bathroom. Of course, his face isn’t pale, but he looks sickly anyway. 

He’s about to pull the shower curtain when he’s overridden with nausea. He clutches his stomach as he doubles over, bile leaving his mouth as he spasms. The taste is so fucking bitter it makes him feel even sicker. “Aaron?” James says after a few seconds, as he hasn’t started showering yet. “Aaron, are you okay— oh Jesus Christ.”“Well, now Alexander will notice I’m sick,” Aaron murmurs, getting up even though he can barely stand. “You’re not going to work like this, you fuck.”Aaron pulls a face. “And have Washington fire me?”“Sick leaves are a thing, Aaron. You’re sick and you need to rest.”“Says you of all people.”James shakes his head and laughs. He takes a plastic bag and hands it to Aaron. They walk to the bed, and he tucks Aaron inside it, the bag at his side. “We can go to the hospital later, alright?”“Probably was the chicken I ate last night,” Aaron murmurs. “Tasted kinda weird.”“Did you eat it all?”Aaron sighs. “I was hungry.”“We have more things to eat than a fuckin’ bad chicken, love.”“Do I look like I care?”James smiles weakly, shakes his head again. “Considering you’re shaking and just threw up, yes.”“Okay.”Silence spreads over them for a few seconds, and James isn’t exactly worried for his husband. He’s the more sickly one of them, anyway, and he’s always been fine. Caught a bunch of illnesses, but never had something too severe. It wouldn’t be the case with Aaron either. After a while, James says, “I’ll go call Washington.”“Okay.”The call is short and to the point. As much as James is George’s something-removed cousin, he doesn’t care much about the man. He’s just sort of a weird uncle to everybody in his company, except for Alexander, who everyone is aware he has a thing with. “Hey, George,” James says once George picks up. “Hi, James. What do you need?”“Just wanted to tell you Aaron is sick, which is why he isn’t going to work. He probably has food poisoning from some chicken he ate yesterday.”“He’s as good with self-care as Alexander,” George mutters, chuckling. “But noted.”“Alright, thank you. How’s your boy toy?”“He’s not my boy toy, Jemmy,” he replies, sounding offended. Now James laughs loudly. “But he’s great.”“Good in bed as always?”George lets an incredulous huff out. “I haven’t ever commented about my sex life with him to you.”“I mean, I don’t know why you’d keep Alexander around except for that.”George sighs. “You two were good friends years ago. What happened?”“Doesn’t matter, Greg.”“That’s not my name.”James raises a brow and insists, “Greg.”“Okay, whatever. See you around, Jemmy.”“See you around, Gregory.”George starts speaking, but James cuts the call before he can hear him. Laughing hard, he gets up and goes to see how Aaron is doing. Aaron is beneath the blankets, eyes lidded and fingers hooked around the bag. He’s trying to sleep, so James goes to the living room to find something to watch. An hour or so after, he hears footsteps. Aaron is in the bathroom again— he knocks on the door. “Are you okay?”“No,” Aaron replies loudly. “This is the worst case of food poisoning I’ve ever had.” James hears the toilet flush, and then flush again. “Why did you eat that chicken again?” James asks with an amused smile when he opens the door, an exhausted look in his eyes. “Because I’m an idiot. Now let me sleep again.”“Of course, babe.” James plants a kiss on his cheek and Aaron kisses his forehead as a reply. Afterward, he trudges to his room and tucks himself in again. “Sleep well. Hope you feel better soon.”“Thanks. Night, fuckass.”James chuckles and turns the lights off.

[clarito]

He must be the only Son of God

CREDIT to the Author: Daryl E. Witmer of AIIA Institute. 

Recently I purchased a book entitled What the Odds Are. It's an A-Z collection of the odds on "everything you ever hoped or feared could happen".

For instance, did you know that the odds of your being injured by a lightning strike on any given day are only 1 in 250 million, but over the average lifetime are 1 in 9,100? In contrast, the odds that the average citizen of Washington, D.C. will get "plugged, stabbed, poisoned, or bludgeoned to death" in the course of a year are only 1 in 1,681!

One in 10 Americans read the Bible daily. One in two eat out somewhere every single day of the week--1 in 20 at McDonald's. In Sweden, 40 of every one hundred persons are senior citizens; in Fiji, only 1 in 50. And here's one that really amazed me: 1 in every 24 Americans has membership in the National Geographic Society. I guess it figures, though, because I noticed recently that a staggering 9,975,558 average copies of the National Geographic magazine are printed by the Society every month (including those intended for international distribution).

If you still happen to be unconvinced that the baby born in Bethlehem 2000 years ago was anything more than just an ordinary human baby, let me challenge you with a few of “the odds” in that regard.

1. To begin with, did you know that the Old Testament prophet Micah, writing circa 700 B.C., out of the hundreds and hundreds of cities in the scores and scores of nations in existence all over the world even in those days, designated Bethlehem of Judea as the birthplace of the Messiah (Micah 5:2)?

2. And that at about the same time, Isaiah (7:14) said that the Christ would be born of a virgin?

3. Or that a prophecy made in 1012 B.C. specified that the Messiah's hands and feet would eventually be pierced--a clear reference to death by crucifixion--800 years before the Romans ever even instituted crucifixion as a form of capital punishment!

4. Malachi 3:1, penned in about 425 B.C., specified that the Messiah would be contemporary with the temple in Jerusalem--a temple that was destroyed in 70 A.D. and has never been rebuilt.

5. Well, if all this impresses you even a little bit, you ought to go compare Zechariah 11:11-13 (written over 500 years before Christ) to Matthew 27:3-10(written some 25-30 years after Christ). Only coincidence?

5. A number of years ago, Peter W. Stoner and Robert C. Newman wrote a book entitled Science Speaks. The book was based on the science of probability and vouched for by the American Scientific Affiliation. It set out the odds of any one man in all of history fulfilling even only eight of the 60 major prophecies (and 270 ramifications) fulfilled by the life of Christ.

The probability that Jesus of Nazareth could have fulfilled even eight such prophecies would be only 1 in 1017. That's 1 in 100, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000.

Stoner claims that that many silver dollars would be enough to cover the face of the entire state of Texas two feet deep. Now I've been to Texas. I've driven for days to get across Texas. Texas is a very big state. Who in his right mind would suppose that a blindfolded man, heading out of Dallas by foot in any direction, would be able, on his very first attempt, to pick up one specifically marked silver dollar out of 100, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000?

To begin with, did you know that the Old Testament prophet Micah, writing circa 700 B.C., out of the hundreds and hundreds of cities in the scores and scores of nations in existence all over the world even in those days, designated Bethlehem of Judea as the birthplace of the Messiah (Micah 5:2)?

And that at about the same time, Isaiah (7:14) said that the Christ would be born of a virgin?

Or that a prophecy made in 1012 B.C. specified that the Messiah's hands and feet would eventually be pierced--a clear reference to death by crucifixion--800 years before the Romans ever even instituted crucifixion as a form of capital punishment!

Malachi 3:1, penned in about 425 B.C., specified that the Messiah would be contemporary with the temple in Jerusalem--a temple that was destroyed in 70 A.D. and has never been rebuilt.

Well, if all this impresses you even a little bit, you ought to go compare Zechariah 11:11-13 (written over 500 years before Christ) to Matthew 27:3-10(written some 25-30 years after Christ). Only coincidence?

A number of years ago, Peter W. Stoner and Robert C. Newman wrote a book entitled Science Speaks. The book was based on the science of probability and vouched for by the American Scientific Affiliation. It set out the odds of any one man in all of history fulfilling even only eight of the 60 major prophecies (and 270 ramifications) fulfilled by the life of Christ.

The probability that Jesus of Nazareth could have fulfilled even eight such prophecies would be only 1 in 1017. That's 1 in 100, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000.

Stoner claims that that many silver dollars would be enough to cover the face of the entire state of Texas two feet deep. Now I've been to Texas. I've driven for days to get across Texas. Texas is a very big state. Who in his right mind would suppose that a blindfolded man, heading out of Dallas by foot in any direction, would be able, on his very first attempt, to pick up one specifically marked silver dollar out of 100, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000?

One March several years ago I received a paper from United States Senate Chaplain Richard Halverson. In it he wrote:

“The fact is, the birth, crucifixion, and bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ are celebrated worldwide by folk of every race, language, and color, every year. And believing in Jesus, they have been delivered from the most evil, disastrous, frustrating, debilitating habits and life forms possible. The real problem with Jesus Christ is not that folk can't believe in Him—but that they won't believe in Him.”

My friend, in all honesty, what are the chances you've not been altogether objective about the nature of the baby born in Bethlehem? What if the baby was God? What if He is God? What if you are to submit your life to Him?

[gehayi]

Fandom Snowflake Challenge--Day 3

Day 3 In your own space, post recs for at least three fanworks that you did not create. For this, I thought I would rec all the stories that I have bookmarked that I thought need more love. All of them are complete (no WIPs, though I do wish some would continue). I made notes on some when I bookmarked them, so where those occur, they're included.

Also, this is LONG. You have been warned.

14th CENTURY CE RPF Hallowmas, Or Shortest Of Day by skazka Isabella, future girl-queen of England, receives a visit from a predecessor. Commentary: Melancholy and sweet, with wee Isabella as an adorable seven-year-old who's very much at sea and Anne of Bohemia as the gentlest and kindest of ghosts. It's A Terrible Reign by angevin2 A dying John of Gaunt, with the aid of his long-dead brother, walks the road not taken. Commentary: Wickedly deflates the "It's a Wonderful Life" premise simply by having John of Gaunt be himself--confident, convinced that what he wants is surely for the best, and blunt enough to point out that most of the awful stuff that could have happened DID happen anyway. Also, Gaunt and the Black Prince are both believable and hysterical as brothers. Jesu dulcis memoria by angevin2 Master Ladislaus's only regret is that his greatest masterpiece--the Wilton Diptych--is one born of grief. Commentary: Brief, sorrowful and stunningly beautiful. I had a lump in my throat when I finished reading it. Remembrance of a Weeping Queen by angevin2 Anne of Bohemia contemplates her purpose in life. Commentary: It’s not easy dealing with public crises while coping with private grief. If you like royal ladies who make a difference in their world and who smile sweetly and gently despite heartbreak, this is for you. *** A STUDY IN EMERALD - NEIL GAIMAN: R'Iyeh Is Not An Empty House by Trobadora It all began because of the woman. *** ARTHURIAN MYTHOLOGY Wheels Within Wheels by Philipa_Moss “Have you heard?” Linet asked. “She’s back.” *** AUSTIN & MURRY-O'KEEFE FAMILIES - MADELEINE L'ENGLE Galois Theory by primeideal Five times everything fell into place. That Unexpected Fateful Hour, Once Again at Hand by ElegantPi Charles Wallace is assigned two new classmates and a task, just before his winter holiday. Wordless by CG (NYCScribbler) Three times Calvin O'Keefe hasn't known what to say. *** BENJAMIN JANUARY MYSTERIES - BARBARA HAMBLY Escargots by Nary Rose was not one to offer platitudes for a man she hadn't known, to a man who hadn't cared about him. "What killed him?" she asked instead, for she couldn't think of any reason why Shaw would be telling her about this if it had been a natural death. "Poison's our best guess." He paused, as if considering how to most gently say what was coming next. "He took his final meal at the Hotel Iberville last night. So as you might imagine, I got a pressin' need to speak with your nephew, Gabriel Corbier." Commentary: This story belongs to the women, and deservedly so. Rose January/Janvier is brilliant and shrewd and a fantastic scientific detective in 1830s New Orleans, while her sister-in-law Olympe Corbier solves half the mystery by deducing what posion was used. It's sharp, smoothly written and as thoroughly researched as any of the books. Honestly, you could drop this into Barbara Hambly's Good Man Friday (the book in which Benjamin January goes off to Washington DC, a trip which Rose mentions in passing) and it would fit in seamlessly. I'm honestly not sure that the person who wrote this for me isn't Barbara Hambly. If you love historical mysteries, stories featuring characters of color, or both, then read this story. Five moments in the life of Augustus Mayerling by sevenofspade Becoming Augustus Mayerling is a process. Commentary: The details of how Augustus Mayerling became Augustus Mayerling. Detailed, sharp and utterly right. Headcanon accepted. Magnificat in New Orleans by Taabe On the eve of Benjamin and Rose Vitrac January's first Christmas in their new home, at the end of a Reveillón, Ben and Hannibal have a run-in with a less peaceful holiday tradition, and they and Rose take a in young stranger in more need of help than even they realize. Commentary: Dazzlingly beautiful, brilliantly researched, and powerful enough to make your heart ache. A magnificent Magnificat. *** BISCLAVRET - MARIE DE FRANCE J'ai Vu le Loup by Gileonnen The hunt collapses the distance between man and beast. Commentary: A canonical medieval gay werewolf. I love it. *** CADFAEL CHRONICLES - ELLIS PETERS A Flourish of Gold by thelittlestbird When a murder disrupts the peace conference that might end the Anarchy, Brother Cadfael must solve one last mystery. Fortunately, he has some very competent people to help him. *** CANTERBURY TALES - GEOFFREY CHAUCER Mordre, She Wroot by sistermagpie At least one pilgrim will not make it to Canterbury. *** CHRONICLES OF NARNIA - C.S.LEWIS Clipsie the Mariner by Transposable_Element The episode of the Dufflepuds and the Magician's book, from the point of view of the Chief's daughter, Clipsie. Dark and Deep by the_rck Tumnus delivers Lucy to the White Witch, and Aslan never comes. All four children end up in Jadis's hands, and she decides to see what she can mold them into. *** CROSSOVERS Chronicles of Narnia/Harry Potter And Bide the Danger by MiraMira Susan Pevensie: former Unspeakable, legendary beauty, possible Dark witch. A young Amelia Bones, eager to make her mark on MLE, has just been assigned to track her down. But the further Amelia proceeds with her investigation, the more questions she uncovers - especially once she meets Susan herself. Dark Tower/The Stand On the Plains of the Crimson King by magistera Eight years after Randall Flagg was defeated, life goes on in the much-reduced circumstances of post-Trips America. But when Fran and Stu's son begins to have disturbing (and all-too-familiar) dreams, it's a sign of change to come. Commentary: This ties together the stories of The Stand and The Dark Tower, blending the worlds and explaining why Flagg saw Fran Goldsmith's baby as so much of a threat. The tone and the characterization are spot-on, and there's one action scene early on that chilled me. And despite all the supernatural occurrences, which are handled beautifully, this world is solidly grounded. It feels real. Honest to God, if I didn't know better, I'd think that Stephen King fanficced himself. Doctor Who/Mrs. Pollifax - Dorothy Gilman Mrs. Pollifax and the Christmas Party by Emiline “Since you mention it, there was something else,” she admitted. “I’d like you both to come to my Christmas party this year.” With gate-crashing by the unstoppable Jack Harkness. Doctor Who/Wicked Voice - Vernon Lee The Sapphire of Rassilon by zopyrus All Grace Holloway wanted was an ordinary night at the San Francisco Opera. But when the Doctor shows up unexpectedly (again), Grace finds herself travelling back to 18th-century Venice—with a stop along the way to pick up the forgotten Victorian author, Vernon Lee. Murdered composers, lesbian drama, opera singers, and more! Commentary: A gorgeous crossover with the Eighth Doctor and a canon called A Wicked Voice, set mostly in Venice of the 1700s and 1800s. It's a gorgeous story--vivid and colorful, and capable of making you see the Venice of both time periods. This is a story to get lost it. Read it. You'll be glad that you did. Dresden Files - Jim Butcher/Tale of the Five Series - Diane Duane Fire Working by melannen Herewiss goes through a Door that is probably not the Door into Starlight, and meets a man who uses the Fire. Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare/Midsummer Night's Dream - Shakespeare/Peter Pan - J. M. Barrie Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps. by fresne Perhaps, the story went this way. Perhaps, it went that way. Perhaps. *** DRESDEN FILES - JIM BUTCHER Johnny's Little Secret by shiplizard A mafia errand boy worries about his junior partner. Slash implied, friendship explicit. Rated Teen for language. *** EAGLES ARE TURNING PEOPLE INTO HORSES: THE MOVIE (2009) Eagles are Turning People Into Horses: The Movie: II: The Horses That Used To Be People But Were Turned Into Horses By Eagles Strike Back: The Revengening by KiaraSayre "This is real life, Brian. There's no ignoring the fact that eagles are turning people into horses. We just have to learn to live with it." Commentary: Glorious crackfic. Every line made me smile, grin or laugh. Quintessentially Yuletide. *** ELIZABETHAN AND JACOBEAN THEATRE & LITERATURE RPF Sad Stories of the Death of Kings by angevin It's 1593, and Kit Marlowe is trying out a new genre. Commentary: If you're intimidated by the canon's title, don't be. Kit Marlowe and Will Shakespeare are playwrights and rivals, each criticizing each other's work while writing plays that are strongly influenced by the same. Marlowe is gloriously OTT, as he was in real life, and Shakespeare is the ultimate fanboy who can't quite tell if his idol is flirting or not. This made me smile. A lot. *** EVERY HEART A DOORWAY - SEANAN McGUIRE The Mirror Cracked From Side to Side by Amazing_E_Ko Nancy has left her old life behind, but when Jack comes tumbling through a portal bearing news of an apocalypse, her sister speaking prophecy from beyond death, Nancy is pulled back into the world of living, breathing things. With the help of Kade and Christopher they must unravel the mystery of the disappearing worlds, and uncover the truth behind all their journeys. Post-canon. Commentary: Absolute magic. I am not entirely certain that the writer isn't really Seanan McGuire. And I am so very grateful that I found this story. *** FAIRY TALES AND FOLKLORE Der Rattenfänger von Hameln | The Pied Piper of Hamelin (Fairy Tale) If I Miss You Call the Tune by lalalalalawhy It is 100 light years since our children left. Commentary: A fairy tale retelling in space. Heartwrenching and so, so good. Sneedronningen | The Snow Queen - Hans Christian Andersen The Enchanted Hawk by Alona In which the robber girl encounters a dysfunctional royal family and makes the most of it. Commentary: The robber girl--no longer so little--is beautifully sly, cunning and practical, defying conventions both in her world and in ours. She doesn't assume that enchanted animals are necessarily truthful, she takes the time to scout out a situation, and she knows what she wants and goes after it cheerfully and unashamedly. I'd love to read more about her and her adventures. *** FALLEN LONDON (FORMERLY ECHO BAZAAR) Fortune, Fate, Freedom by escritoireazul Are we the sum of our choices, or are we our fate? Commentary: A Choose Your Own Adventure tale about the Cheesemonger, the finest of all spies. Hard To Find by Kastaka As if the Comtessa would let a little thing like social ostracism stand in her way. Commentary: When this was first published, it was the first Echo Bazaar fic I'd ever seen, and it continues the story of the subject character--the Missing Comtessa--smashingly, not to mention capturing the atmosphere of the twisted world of Fallen London so well. If you know the game of Echo Bazaar, you'll love it. If you don't know the game, you'll STILL love it, plus the story may inspire interest in the game. Either way, you win! or leave it by anstaar A tough shares their story. *** FIREFLY Can’t Take The Sky by Glinda Serenity does not understand grief; Serenity understands grief all too well. Inundation by lilacsigil When knowledge is power, it's important to keep knowledge controlled. Shepherd Book is here to help. *** GREEK AND ROMAN MYTHOLOGY Medusa's Tale by Area51Fugitive Ah. You've come. I knew you would. Commentary: The very best retelling of the Medusa myth I've ever read, and the only one that ever made me cry. *** HARRY POTTER - J.K. ROWLING Poseidon's Prisoner by esteoflorien Young Cassiopeia Black sets off in search of her brother - and receives assistance from an unlikely person, making her reconsider the way she previously viewed her world. *** HIGHLANDER: THE SERIES Mnemosyne by Medie Wounds of the flesh heal easily for Immortals, the ones of the soul, less so. Commentary: A sympathetic and angry Cassandra, after the Horsemen Arc. *** HIS DARK MATERIALS - PHILIP PULLMAN Valleys of the Shadows by finch (afinch) This is not a happy story. This is the story of three girls who find themselves in the middle of a new African war. There are witches' revolts, daring escapes, the killing of the bears, echoes of freedom, the lack of mercy of the pirates, chains stronger than any steel, and three deaths, one by one by one. This is not a happy story, there are no happy endings, no miracles, no subtle knife, and no angels. This is the story of three girls, a slave, an unwilling pawn, and a refugee. This is story of three girls and three dæmons. *** INVISIBLE LIBRARY: FANWORKS BASED ON IMAGINARY WORKS MENTIONED IN FICTION Miserable Les, Les Misérables - All Media Types, Discworld - Terry Pratchett Truth! Justice! Freedom! Reasonably-priced love! And a black coffee! by greenet Wherein everybody is protesting, drinking a whole lot of coffee, and falling in and out of love. Nina Lightfingers learns to appreciate the elegance of a lady’s fan wielded with murderous intent, Petiterre is over-caffeinated, Evgeni is banned from reading self-help books, and Brusher is over-protective. Among other things. Commentary: If Terry Pratchett had written an in-universe musical about the events of Night Watch, it would have been this story. That is to say, it would have been perfect. P.S. Miserable Les is mentioned as a possible opera in Maskerade. *** JOHN LEWIS CHRISTMAS ADVERTS Please, please, please... by AdaptationDecay Lewis knows exactly what he wants for Christmas. Commentary: This is a stealth crossover, but I'm not going to mention what it's crossed with. That would spoil the impact of the reveal. *** MARY POPPINS (1964) Pictures in the Pavement and Magic in the Rain by El Staplador (elstaplador) Time moves on, and when the wind changes, things happen. Usually Mary Poppins is there, somewhere. *** NCIS No Such Thing by circ_bamboo There's no such thing as zombies. (Or: People should have realized that, sooner or later, pouring the liquefied remnants of corpses in the municipal water supply was going to lead to zombies.) Commentary: Absolutely the best and the funniest zombie story I've ever read! The NCIS team is spot-on as a bad situation snowballs gloriously. Also, I will never think of cedar shavings, sodium intake or tiki torches the same way again! P.S. Here are more sources about resomation: http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-14114555 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alkaline_hydrolysis_(body_disposal) https://funeralbooker.com/blog/everything-need-know-resomation/ *** ONCE UPON A TIME (TV) Staying Found by misscam “I will always find you,” they say. And they did. Now they just have to get used to having been found again, together again, a relationship again, all the little things again. [Snow/Charming + minor Emma, Henry, Belle] *** PETER PAN - J.M. BARRIE The Art of Becoming by LostWendy1 “Every child is affected thus the first time he is treated unfairly. All he thinks he has a right to when he comes to you to be yours is fairness. After you have been unfair to him he will love you again, but will never afterwards be the same boy. No one ever gets over the first unfairness; no one except Peter. He often met it, but he always forgot it. I suppose that was the real difference between him and all the rest.” (Peter Pan, Barrie) Commentary: The story of Mr. Darling--and the origins of Captain Hook. *** PRINCELESS There's No Such Thing As Elegators by psocoptera Sparky, Adrienne, and Bedelia have an encounter in the grasslands. Commentary: You don't often hear stories from the dragon's point of view. *** REBECCA - DAPHNE DU MAURIER A Thousand Words, Or Simply Three by Skogkatt Danny, faced with a new mistress of vastly inferior rank, ruminates on the past. *** RUBYQUEST Rubyquest II: The Island by AdaptationDecay In your inventory, you have two walkie-talkies and an empty champagne bottle. Time to save the world... *** SHAKESPEARE King Lear - Shakespeare 'Tis Strange by lorata Lear Enterprises' CEO prepares to divide his company's controlling shares between his daughters and their subsidiaries. Edmund, non-powered and disaffected son in a superhero family, plots to turn villain. Regan and Goneril abandon their father to the zombies after he endangers their safehouses one too many times. Gloucester scours open space for the former commander of the star system, set adrift in a malfunctioning lifepod. Cordelia and her dragon prepare to take on her sisters with the help of the French aerial dragon corps. Some stories aren't just universal, they're multiversal. The tale of King Lear, from eleven different worlds. When She Was Bad by lorata LEAR: Then let them anatomize Regan. See what breeds about her heart. Is there any cause in nature that makes these hard hearts? Act 3, Scene 6 SERVANT: If she live long, And in the end meet the old course of death, Women will all turn monsters. Act 3, Scene 7 Even the sweetest pup will bite if handled roughly, and Regan is no innocent. The making of a girl who embraced her demons and turned them to her purpose. Richard II - Shakespeare A Signet On Thine Arm by skazka Kisse he me with the cos of his mouth. For thi tetis ben betere than wyn, and yyuen odour with beste oynementis. Richard and Anne make out in the bath. Privilege by angevin2 Richard kissed a girl and he liked it. And then things got really complicated. Six Variations on Loyalty by angevin2 The King's party (for it is, in fact, still the King's party) has not even left Flint Castle for London before Henry of Hereford, now styling himself Henry of Lancaster, begins trying to seduce Edward of Aumerle. Thy Rebuke Hath Broken His Heart by Aris Merquoni (ArisTGD) Soulbonds between men and women are the most romantic form of marriage in the known world. Soulbonds between men and men make bards and poets salivate with the prospect of terrible, epic tragedy. Richard and Henry think that bards and poets are assholes. Romeo and Juliet - Shakespeare Starling by loathlylady Rosaline in the hot sun. *** STORIES BASED ON ARTWORKS La fiancée hésitante | The Hesitant Betrothed - Auguste Toulmouche Les Femmes Acharnées by Violsva Blanche has a plan, Céleste has a plan - really, everyone has a plan. Commentary: An excellent story of marriage, murder and female friendship. *** SWAN LAKE (BALLET) Juno's Swans by La Reine Noire (lareinenoire) And wheresoever we went, like Juno's swans, / Still we went coupled and inseparable. *** THE GOBLIN EMPEROR - KATHERINE ADDISON Passage by bigsunglasses Released from his role as Prince by the birth of a son to the Emperor and Empress, Idra is allowed to attend university. But he can't escape his past so easily, or perhaps at all, particularly not when he meets someone who walks under a similar shadow ... Three years post-canon. *** THE SANDMAN The First Conversation with Death by evilhippo What happens when someone is no longer an aspect of the Endless? (An imagined epilogue to The Wake.) *** THOMAS OF WOODSTOCK (PLAY) like brambles to the cedars by angevin2 Queen Anne isn't used to English customs. It doesn't help that her husband and his uncles can't agree on what they are. Commentary: This is the story of a gentle young woman adjusting to life far from home and adjusting to political currents she doesn’t quite understand. If you like sweet and feminine Sansa Stark singing songs or sewing expertly, you’ll love this. *** THURSDAY'S CHILDREN - RUMER GODDEN A Bitter God to Follow by Bakcheia In which everybody is in love with ballet dancer Yuri Koszorz, including Yuri. Commentary: A story of seductive charm and self-absorption. Yuri is a likable young man, even as he heedlessly captivates everyone around him, not caring whether anyone gets hurt. *** WATERSHIP DOWN - RICHARD ADAMS The Story of Hrayatha and the Rabbit Who Left No Tracks by Luzula Pipkin listens to a story. Post-canon. *** WENDY TRILOGY - S.J. TUCKER (SONG CYCLE) Always keep your head by LeaperSonata So Wendy'd got herself a crew of ruthless men and brave and they'd terrorize the Lost Boys each and every Saturday. One day Wendy says to Peter, "I'd like more girls on my crew." So Peter goes a-hunting Lost Girls and brings back Green-eyed Sue. Commentary: You don't have to know S.J. Tucker's songs--specifically, the Wendy Trilogy--to understand this story about the time when Wendy Darling became a pirate called Red-Handed Jill. This story is about Green-Eyed Sue, Jill's first mate, but more than that, it's about finding the place where you belong. Most of all, it's about identity and love and being honest with yourself. Highly recommended. Journey's End by eris_kyrall (kereia) The decision to go back home had not come easily to Wendy Darling, and the hardest part of it was saying goodbye. Commentary: This story deals with Wendy's departure from Neverland, but it treats her decision to leave as right and natural, as if Wendy were a potted plant that had outgrown its container. At the same time, it shows that those who didn't follow Wendy home were also right. Also, I love the female friendship in this story. Bittersweet.

[sorayahigashikata]

Chapter 61: "I said 'therapist,' not 'the rapist'!"

[keywestlou]

FROM CLORAX AND BLEACH TO DEMONS AND WITCHES.....THE MAN IS CRAZY!

Several months ago, Trump became very excited on his 5 o’clock virus report show. With enthusiasm, he told Americans that Clorox or bleach taken orally or by shot was an almost instantaneous cure for coronavirus. My memory recollects one minute.

A new 5 o’clock show with Trump starring alone began last tuesday. Very poorly done by what was once a master showman. The Washington Post’s Dana Milbank described it as The Five O’Clock Follies.

It too has become a joke. It only took 4 shows.

The past two days, America’s Frontier Doctors met in Washington. An off the wall group. Organized by the Right Wing Patriots. The Right Wing Patriots being a group of wealthy Republican donors.

Speeches were made on the steps of the Supreme Court. One of the speakers was Houston physician Stella Immanuel. A pediatrician. Her presentation videoed. Later went viral.

Immanuel is a right wing star.

Trump spoke of Immanuel at his 5 o’clock follies show. Trump recommended the video a “must watch.”

Immanuel way out. A snake oil charmer. If this was the old west, Trump would have purchased every bottle of snake oil Immanuel had available to sell.

Immanuel had much to say. Every word bordering on the insane. Trump moved by her.

Let me share Immanuel’s thoughts.

She praises hydroxychloroquine as a coronavirus cure. With equal vigor, advises face masks are not necessary.

She believes sexual visitations by demons and alien DNA are the roots of America’s health concerns.

Gynecological problems like cysts and endometriosis are caused by people having sex with demons and witches.

She claims alien DNA is currently being used in medical treatments.

She believes scientists are cooking up a vaccine to prevent people from being religious.

The government is run in part not by humans but “reptilians” and other aliens.

“Nobody needs to get sick. This virus has a cure…..You don’t need a mask. There is a cure.”

The video ran on Facebook. Within a very short time, 13 million views. Twitter ran it also.

Both soon deleted the video citing rules prohibiting Covid-19 disinformation.

Immanuel responded to Facebook’s removing the video. She said Jesus would destroy Facebook’s servers if her videos were not returned.

Immanuel believes medical issues like endometriosis, cysts, infertility, and impotence are caused by witches and demons having sex with people in dreamland.

Blames demons for male impotence.

Continuing with sexuality, demonic spirits “turn into a woman and they sleep with the man and collect his sperm. Then they turn into the man, and they sleep with a man and deposit the sperm and reproduce more of themselves.”

Not making any of this up!

Immanuel says dream night might not be with a demon. Could be with a “human witch.” Called “astral sex.”

In a 2015 sermon, she claimed scientists had plans to install microchips in people and develop a “vaccine” to make it impossible for a person to become religious.

Witches are intent on gaining control of children.

She believes children’s books are part of a scheme to introduce children to spirits and witches. Children’s TV shows are a gateway to evil. Children are taught to meditate so they can “meet with demons.”

She has thoughts re the American government, also.

Claims the American government is run in part by non-human reptilians “not even human…..half human, half ET.”

She is anti-gay marriage. She says the next step is “people are going to be seeking to marry kids.”

Advocates corporal punishment for children: “Kids need to be whipped.”

Immanuel sought a meeting with Trump. Late monday, she tweeted Trump and advised she was open to meeting with him.

Trump picks strange people to take advice from, be impressed by. Even more amazing, he appeared to speak more highly of Immanuel than Fauci.

I was interested as to how much money Russ Limbaugh makes. The man yells out all kinds of negative things. Nevertheless, he has a significant following to his radio show.

Discovered Limbaugh is one the highest paid radio figures. Forbes listed his most recent yearly earnings at $84.5 million.

The highest paid radio personality is Howard Stern at $90 million.

My curiosity reached to Sean Hannity. His annual salary $40 million.

Spewing poison and misinformation pays well!

Tropical storms and hurricanes have been moving around for several weeks. Now comes one that may hit Key West.

At the moment, the storm is 350 miles east of Puerto Rico. Its intensity is expected to bring it to tropical storm level. It will then be named Isaias.

The cone’s center at the moment indicates it will come right over Key West. Means nothing at the moment. Could turn.

Isaias is expected to make landfall saturday.

Enjoy your day!

      FROM CLORAX AND BLEACH TO DEMONS AND WITCHES…..THE MAN IS CRAZY! was originally published on Key West Lou

[dailyaudiobible]

03/18/2018 DAB Transcript

Numbers 26:1-51, Luke 2:36-52, Psalms 60:1-12, Proverbs 11:15

Today is the 18th day of March. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and, of course, it is wonderful to be here with you today at the threshold of a brand-new, shiny, sparkly week. We have sailed past the center of this month and are moving into the back half and I pray that this brand-new week is greeting you well. We’ll pick up where we left off last week, which was yesterday, only we’ll change translations and read from the New Living Translation this week. Numbers chapter 26 verse 52 through 28 verse 15.

Prayer:

We thank You Father again for Your word. And even though just a day has past and we’re into this new week, Your mercies are new every morning. Every day is a restart. Every week is a restart. And as we crossed the threshold of this week, we have the opportunity to make choices in advance about how we're going to live into this new week, whether were going to walk intimately in fellowship with You or whether we’re going to wing it and do our own thing and remember You when we remember You. We want to walk with You God every day of our lives, every moment of every day. We want to be in fellowship with You. We want to be in constant conversation with You, friendship with You, not just about things we need to make choices about or things we need to do or how we need Your help, but friendship. So, come Holy Spirit into this week. We ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website. It's home base. It's where you find out what's going on around here.

One week from today I will be speaking in Louisville, Kentucky at New Song Christian Fellowship Louisville. So, looking forward to that. You can get the details at dailyaudiobible.com in the Events section. If you are in the area love to say hello. Come out and say hi.

On the 8th of April, which is a few weeks from now, I'll be in Washington state at Columbia Community Church. And again, you can get the details dailyaudiobible.com in the Events section.

And then on 12th of April the More Gathering for women begins. And, man, the team has been working hard, literally interceding over this for months and it’s going to be great. Looking forward to it very much. So, if you are on the fence or you’ve been thinking about coming, you want to come, moregathering.com is the place to go for more details. Actually, everything you would want to know is there.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible in the mission that we share together in community to keep bringing God's spoken word read fresh every single day to anyone who will listen to it then thank you. There's a link on the homepage of dailyaudiobible.com. If you're using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I am Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi family it’s Shannon from Texas and I’m heading into work this morning. And as much as I don’t like to even say these things out loud, I’m really struggling, I really need your prayer. As much as I know that I have a direct link to the Lord, I know that it helps to have other prayer warriors praying for me. I’m really have been attached since I’ve taken this job and I know that the Lord gave me this job. I don’t know that I’ve ever been this attacked in my life. I’ve got this…I don’t know what to call it. I’m not claiming that I have it…but I’m so agitated because I have some symptoms of something called __ and it’s plaguing me and I can’t continue to go on functioning with this and I really need your prayer for that. Also, just…things are not going that great at work. I found out that I’m not going to get an advanced travel card am going to be traveling extensively for the first six months. The reason I’m not getting it is because I owe $990 and just don’t have it right now. I didn’t get paid for the first month. And it’s just stuff like that that’s like wow. And there’s a lot of history to that because of a former employee that kind of really betrayed me. And it’s money that they’re saying out to them. So, it’s just like…just a lot to it and I’m just struggling and I never struggled like this before we’re I feel like it’s taking me out. So, please pray for me. I love you guys. I haven’t been praying for others and that’s something that I’ve never done. So, just…I love you guys. I appreciate you.

Hello this is Not Shaken. I’m calling regarding my son Brian. He’s been in jail seven weeks now for fighting with his girlfriend, the mother of his two daughters. And he is getting out on bail. We did not bail him out because we wanted him to stay in there. They both have drug addictions. She was breast feeding the baby while on meth and there was meth throughout the baby’s hair in the test sample. But he’s going to be moving in with me and my family and I’m just praying that God’s Brian will show himself. And I know he wants to do the right thing. But he has addictions and one of his addictions is his the mother of his children and I believe they’re both have sexual addictions as well as drugs. And I’m just praying that he has to stay away from her because of accusations that she’s made. And I’m praying that he will do that because he’s fine without her but when they get together they’re poison to each other. And I’m just praying that he’ll be the best father to these little girls, that he will get his act together and do everything that he needs to do to care for them and put everything else in his life aside and just focus on God. And I’m just asking for prayers for everyone on this. And I do pray for all of the other…

Good morning everybody this is Debbie from Sarasota. I just wanted to say I’m praying for all of you. And just this morning I just heard Annette from Oklahoma and Linda from New Hampshire and I just wanted to let you know that both of you have similar things that you prayed about to me. And I you know a lot of you know about my son Michael being in prison as well. And Linda, the fact that you said that your ex-husbands father was very abusive and it affected your son, well that’s exactly what happened in my life. So, I just want to pray DABbers for all of our families, especially for the people in prison and for all of our families children that they would be able to just get the grace from God to be able to overcome all the negativity and the emotional disruptions that happened in our lives. Lord, I pray that you protect them and lead them out of this negativity and protect them from being abused any longer. Lord, give them the comfort they need and the ability to just keep going on and feeling safe with You Lord and with moms and grandmas and, you know, everyone Lord. I just pray that You give these children confidence and help them to get over these weary problems that they are having. I know. My son tried to commit suicide as well in high school. So, I get all of that and just know that I’m praying for all of you. And everyone online I’m praying for you. And everyone on China’s prayer line, I’m praying for you. All right, love you all. Bye.

Hi daily audio Bible family. This is Mel, MEL, Mel from central Florida and I am calling for prayer request for myself, which is very hard for me to do. I normally pray for others and tend to just give praise and thanks rather than ask for things, but I really have been struggling lately with sleep, lack of sleep. And it’s…I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried a lot of different options, anywhere from like over-the-counter medication to more natural things. I’ve tried praying and I’ve tried air diffusers, I mean, oils, anything that you can think of, yoga, breathing, and none of it is working. Right now, it’s currently 3 o’clock in the morning and I haven’t fallen asleep yet. I have to wake up tomorrow. I’ve got a busy day. This is like the fourth day this week that I’m going to get less than four hours of sleep. And I just really ask, please, please pray for me. Like I said, I pray for you guys all the time. And it’s so hard to ask for prayer when I know there are so many things going on out there, but I appreciate any prayers that you have. Also, anyone else that’s dealing with sleep or insomnia. I want to pray for you. I’ve only been going through this for a short…well…a couple months now, but I know some people struggle with this for their whole life. So, I pray for everybody who has any sort of sleep disorder or insomnia or just issues with sleep. Thank you again. I hope you all have a blessed day. Bye-bye.

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter one - “to wakanda”

delicate masterlist

word count: 1,564

summary: reader works for what used to be shield as a highly skilled neuropsychologist. after the events in vienna involving the sokovia accords and a bombing, she gets an interesting request from friend and coworker sharon carter...a request involving none other than steve rogers and james barnes.

[A/N:] not my photo

warnings: brief & indirect mentions of abuse

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

"I don't know Sharon. Are you sure I'm really the right person for this? I'm not, like, an Avengers level tech. Are you sure they don't want a genius or someone like Stark to do it?"

"Well, Stark is pretty busy right now, and honestly, no one knows psych like you. Not who I've met anyway."

"That is so not true. I'm willing to bet there's tons of other people you guys got somewhere who are ten times what I am."

"Agent (Y/L/N), in case you missed it, SHIELD isn't what it used to be. Sure we have old agents who aren't formally 'SHIELD agents,' anymore, but we don't have the expendability we used to. You're our best bet at the moment."

"Damn. I'm your best bet. I'm sorry," she almost chuckled, but then she thought for a brief moment. "Are you sure this is completely necessary? I mean, I saw the photo on the news. The quality's poor at best, and..."

She leaned in, discretely, and whispered.

"...not to seem like a conspiracy theorist commie or anything, but it kinda seems like people are jumping to conclusions here. Are we even sure it was Barnes who set off the bomb?"

Sharon looked around them, cautiously. No one seemed to be listening, but she scanned the room like her life as she knew it was hanging in the balance. She weighed her words in her head, making sure she picked the right ones, then formulated a response appropriate.

"Regardless of if it was him or not, Barnes still escaped. and before that, Ste-we'd been looking for him for almost two years. This analysis is necessary," Sharon brought her voice down even lower. "At least that's what I keep being told. Of course I'd like there to be more solid proof, but I'm not in charge here. He's gone, and they want to be able to find him and 'sort things out.'"

"'Sort things out,'" (Y/N) repeated, questioning the genuineness of whomever told Sharon that. "Unless they have hard evidence that it was him who set off the bomb in Vienna, shouldn't they leave that to uh...Captain America?"

She wondered how Barnes was able to escape in the first place. She saw the containment module he was in; there's no way he could've gotten out without a fight. ...But maybe it wasn't a fight. Perhaps it was a trigger word induced rage. (Y/N) understood a basic layout of the "Winter Soldier." SHIELD would've kept any information they had classified. However, after the fiasco in Washington, d.c. with Hydra and the whole releasing of all files predicament, she was able, with Sharon's help, to put together a simple outline. With that being said, he couldn't have broken out without going Winter Soldier mode. But doesn't someone need the trigger words for that?

“That's what a reasonable person would think, but once again, I'm not in charge," Sharon shrugged. "Things would probably be going a lot smoother if I was, but you can't have everything."

(Y/N) cracked a smile. Sharon was a friend, and a good one too. They'd known each other since before SHIELD was shattered in 2014. In fact, Sharon helped train her.

The only thing was: Sharon was a higher ranking agent and often withheld certain information from (Y/N). It frustrated her. This was where their personal boundaries got in the way of their professional ones.

She could tell there was something Sharon wasn't telling her, but she wasn't about to compromise either of their positions by pushing for information she wasn't supposed to know. Hell, maybe even Sharon knows something she isn't supposed to. Or maybe she knows something that Everett Ross wouldn't like. What if she was keeping something from him? Defying him? What if she was working with Steve Rogers? Now that would be interesting.

(Y/N) was used to secrets around her all the time. She knew Sharon had her fair share, and trying to figure them out wouldn't really get her anywhere.

"Right. Okay. Well, I'll get on this then. Thanks, Agent Carter," she teased in late response to Sharon's 'Agent (Y/N).’

Sharon offered a quick smile before walking off to attend to other business.

- - -

Pain. That was all it was. In every sense of the word. As she strenously made her way through the densely packed file of one James Buchanan Barnes, pain was all she could see. All she could read. It leaked out of the page and seeped into her skin like poison.

It was horrific what they did to him. She knew he had his memory wiped, had someone pull him out and stick someone else in. But it was more than just that. They took his past, his memories, his thoughts; and they ripped them from his mind, leaving an empty space to mold into their own. It was after this when Hydra, in every way they could, dehumanized him, made him less than. He was striped of his freedom, his control, his choice, his humanity, of everything that made him him. They beat and bruised and broke it out this empty human shell until he was nothing but a shadow of faded morality and consciousness.

But hell, she couldn't look away. She was glued to the aftershock of this horrible wreckage. All the years of studying Psychology and Neuroscience couldn't have possibly prepared her for the absolute horror that was his past, his abuse, his torture. It was heinous. Frankly, she questioned how he was still alive. How he still had the will and the drive to be alive. How do you live after that?

"Fuck," she breathed after eons of silence.

She seemed to lose her sense of time whilst she was immersed in the harrowing nightmare of Hydra's cruelty. 'Cruelty' doesn't even come close to doing it justice. When she came to, her desk looked like a bomb went off. Papers were bursting out of manilla folders, littering the linoleum surface with classified files and secret information. She leaned back in her chair, and gave herself a minute to debrief.

(Y/N) almost felt guilty, like she things she looked at were so vile, so violating that she didn't have the right to see them. Sure, she had read and analyzed all sorts of trauma and psychological profiles. But he was different. Something about James Barnes was different. It tangled her mind the fact that a person could endure all that. She could only imagine the effect that would have on the human brain. The possibilities are endless. Suddenly bombing the UN didn't seem so far fetched.

- - -

"Jesus Christ," (Y/N) murmured, staring at her office floor as Sharon finished explaining to her what happened at the Leipzig Halle Airport.

She sat mostly in silence as she pondered over the information just fed to her. Apparently Tony Stark gathered a 'team' to try and intercept Captain America - sorry - Steve Rogers and his (supposed) fugitive friend. It was chaos.

"What is this? Fuckin' Avengers Fight Night?" she wondered aloud. "How many people did you say were there?"

"Twelve total," Sharon clarified. "Five with Stark and five with Steve."

The psychologist shook her head, dumbfounded. "How did it end?"

"Steve and Barnes got out, but everyone else with them were captured and sent to the Raft."

"The Raft?!" (Y/N) exclaimed. "That's for, like, super humans! Not people like Sam Wilson or Clint Barton!"

"You're telling me."

Sharon seemed in agreement with everything she was saying. However, there was something she couldn't quite place. Like she was holding back. But holding back what?

"So what of Rogers and Barnes?" (Y/N) pushed.

Sharon got up and closed the office door before returning to her seat, leaning in, and lowering her voice. This secretive woman, god damn it.

"Well... That's what I came to talk to you about."

Oh boy. She didn't have a semblance of a single idea of what to expect. Apparently Sharon noticed.

"We're the only ones that know this. They're fine..." the agent trailed off, "They're in Wakanda, but they need a little help."

"Are you leaving?!" (Y/N) all but yelled before quickly slapping a hand over her mouth and uncovering it only to whisper, "Do you and Rogers have a thing or something? Cause' I don't know how else you would know all of this when I'm sure that no one else does considering he's now an enemy of several governments!"

"My relations with Steve Rogers are not the focus here." She could've sworn Sharon flushed. "But we have been in contact; I'm one of the few people he can trust right now, and I don't plan on letting him down anytime soon."

They totally have a thing.

"Noted," said (Y/N) with a nod, "but why are you telling me this? Does he want the profile analysis or something? I don't see how he would need it if he's known Barnes for however long."

"Not exactly..." Sharon fidgeted with her hands. "We need you to go to Wakanda.”

[meandmywackydad-blog]

Two more years of... all this.

I am bringing back coffee. My dad: Did you go to the market for coffee? Me: No. My dad: You should go there. The coffee is good. Plus there's always these old guys there. Me: Uh huh. My dad: PLUS, if you go from there up to the McDonalds on the highway, there's also old guys talking there. I think it's the SAME old guys. Me: That's a Ray Bradbury story. My dad: It is pretty Bradbury-esque. Me: No, it IS a Ray Bradbury story. It's The Crowd. My dad: And when you go to McDonalds it's the same old guys, and they're talking about the same things! Me: I've clearly read the story, Dad.

*** My father is describing the book he's reading. My dad: It's all about how the chemical company polluted the environment, and the one intrepid person who crusaded against them, stopping their tyranny, all that shit. Me: Intrepid? My dad: Oh she was quite intrepid. But of course it's a big corporation so nothing was actually accomplished. You know how it goes. Mister Smith went to Washington, Mister Deeds went to town, nothing happened. Me: Yeah. <pause> Me: That's also the worst Neil Young lyric ever. My dad: Yeah! We pause thoughtfully. Then I hear my father take a deep breath and realize what I've done. Me: NO! My dad (in Neil Young voice): MISTER SMIIIIIIITH WENT TO WAAAAAAAAAAHINGTOOOOON! MISTER DEEEEEEEEDS WENT TO TOOOOOOOOOOWNNNNN! Me: It's my own fault for saying it.

*** "Bagpipes! Oh good! That's one of your favorite sounds." - my dad

*** Alex Trebek on Jeopardy: Plato, Aristotle, Socrates. Me and my dad in unison: Morons.

*** My father and I are watching the Open when the horrible dog across the street starts barking. Me: Let me tell you how much I hate that goddamn dog. My dad: Why do you hate it? Me: Uh, possibly because it sounds like a trumpet being put in a garbage disposal? My dad: How do you know what that sounds like?

*** Text from my dad: "Bad showing from Chelsea." I immediately regret all the work I did the last 18 months.

*** Jeopardy prep. My father: What country is the largest producer of dates? Me: <chuckling> Bad dates... My father: So what was - Me: RAIDERS YOU DOPE.

*** Jeopardy prep. My father: The category is time travel movies. First question. "A Christmas Carol - " Me: A Christmas Carol isn't a time travel movie. My father: Sure it is. He goes to the past, and the future - Me: No, he's shown visions of the past and the future. My father: It's a sort of - Me: A Christmas Carol isn't a time travel story, it's a holodeck malfunction episode.

*** Jeopardy prep. My dad: This held the staff of Aaron as well as the tablets of the law. Me: What is the Ark of the Covenant. My dad: Are you sure? Me: Pretty sure.

*** Watching the golf. My father has been talking non-stop for 20 minutes. Including commercials. My father: Chris Kirk has the laziest golf swing ever. Look at this. 290 yards off the deck! With driver! And he overcooked it. These guys are so good. Ooh, I've never seen this commercial before. Me: JESUS! Do you ever take a breath?! My mother: He only does this when you're around. Me: What? Why? My father: You're a more receptive audience. Me: But I hate it! My mother: He doesn't care if it's good attention or bad attention. My father: So he wears Cobra hats instead of Nike now? 5 consecutive birdies! I think my record is three. Me: I'm going to kill myself.

*** My father: When you use soap, do you put it on in the back of the shower? Me: I, uh... I've never really considered the... geography... of it.

*** Me: Han Solo and the combined cast of Farscape couldn't come up with a worse plan than this. My father: I don't know what that - Me: IT MEANS THIS PLAN IS TERRIBLE!

*** At the grocery store laying in supplies for my father's return this weekend. Cashier: So, how many kids do you have? Me: <sigh> Me: Just the one.

*** My father is limping down the stairs. Me: Think it might be doctor time, Dad. My father: I went to the doctor. I didn't do what he told me. Me: Think it might be listen to the doctor time, Dad.

*** My father: Why hasn't someone scored yet? Me: Dad, the season is six minutes old. My father: Someone should have scored by now. These guys suck.

*** The mail has arrived. Me: Your check from SCH is here. My father: NOICE. Me: <horrible silence> Me: Please don't ever say that again.

*** Just before everybody goes to bed. My father: Did you put the sheets in the dryer? Me: Not... as such. My father: What does that mean? Me: No. <pause> Me: What else could that possibly mean?

*** Watching the Red Zone. My father: That was a dumb move there from Adrian Beat-her-son. <annoyed silence> My father: BEAT-her-son, get it? Me: Dad, the problem isn't that I don't get it.

*** Discussing our plan of attack this week for the house. My father: Agreeing to store your sister's bed was a bad idea. Me: Oh my god I'm going to pour poison in your ear while you're asleep.

*** My father: But I was a real arrogant son of a bitch back then. Me: "Was?"

*** My father has discovered Sporcle. Please kill me.

*** My father: Aside from the touchdown plays we dominated the game. Me: Dad, you lost 38-0. My father: AND WE DOMINATED.

*** Watching the Weather Channel. Me: It's weird. It's like a nor'easter, but it's coming from the southeast. My father: No. It's a southeaster. Me: THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I JUST SAID.

*** My father: You do realize the Ravens have had way more success than the Eagles, right? Me: Yeah, Dad, I can count to two.

*** My father: Merrill, what the hell are you watching? Me: Stop being mean to Merrill. My father: Nah. Me: You're awfully obnoxious for a guy who lays on a couch all day.

*** Discussing our plans for today. Me: Well, while you are reviewing film I am going to be at the matinee of Crimson Peak. My father: Dear god, why? Me: Uh, because it's a haunted house movie made by Guillermo Del Toro with Jim Beaver and Jessica Chastain. I would go see that if the tickets cost a hundred dollars. <pause> My father: You have weird priorities.

*** Finally got my dad on board with my theory that Phil Martelli is a lich. Explaining to him what a lich is could have gone better.

*** Watching the football game. My dad: I don't know what's worse about Colin Kaepernick, how inaccurate he is, or how much he looks like Squidward. Me: Like WHAT? My dad: He's a dead ringer, right? Me: What the fuck are you talking about? My dad: He looks just like Squidward! Me: Have you had a stroke? My dad: Haven't you seen SpongeBob? Me: Have -I- had a stroke?

*** My father is apparently really upset at my ignorance of SpongeBob because he's done nothing for ten minutes straight but give me a complete executive summary of the show punctuated by him shouting what I assume is the theme song.

*** Everyone is waking up. Me: Saturday morning, Dad! You know what that means! My father: Yes. It means we watch Chelsea lose. Me: I... it means I make us breakfast, dick.

*** Dropping my father off at SCH. He is wearing shorts, a long sleeve dress shirt, a windbreaker, and Crocs. Me: All right, I'm going to Penzey's. I'll be back for the game. My father: Okay. Me: You look like an idiot. My father: Don't care. Me: You should. My father: Get out of here.

*** Eating the chili. My father: Are you crying? Me: No. Shut up. It's not the chili. I'm just... thinking of the end of Gladiator. My mother: You must have stolen that line from SOMEWHERE. My father: <sigh> He didn't.

*** Talking about today's game at Malvern. My father: You have to admit, he's a good little receiver. He's like the Wes Welker of the Interac! Me: Is he going to get blown the fuck up like Wes Welker? My father: Oh yeah. Especially if we keep calling that Y-Under pattern.

*** Talking about my birthday present. My dad: I am not getting you a BMW. Me: Hmph. My dad: I tried. Me: Try more.

*** My father's aunt passed away last week and the funeral was today. I asked him how it went. My dad: Well, the people on your mother's enemies list didn't start a huge fight with her. And she didn't fight with the people on her enemies list, so I'm calling that a win. <pause> Me: Yeah. It's good that we set the bar so high. My dad: Of course, that's just the Florida edition of her enemies list. We'll see what happens when we're back up there. Me: Yup. Can barely see over that bar, it's so high.

*** My phone rings. It's my father. Me: What's up? My father: Have you gotten to the scene yet where he talks about how he hates sand? Me: <sigh> Me: Yeah, Dad. My father: Because it's so coarse! My father: <cackling> Me: <hangs up>

*** After my father and I have talked out the Pedersen hire. Me: Oh, hey, speaking of Florida winter weather, it's going to be 52 here tomorrow! My dad: I'm going to visit Tony in St. Louis tomorrow. Me: Oh, nice. What's it going to be there? My dad: 7. Me: Seven? SEVEN? My dad: 7. Me: <loud, hideous cackling> My dad: Shut up! Me: <more awful cackling> My dad: <hangs up>

*** Me: I am watching one of your favorite movies! My dad: Which? <I send a picture of the TV> My dad: Your obsession with Michael Mann is really, really weird. Me: Please. My obsession with Michael Mann doesn't crack the top 20 weirdest things about me.

*** When I arrived at Moffitt Cancer Center. My dad: Oh, good, you're here. Me: Of course I'm here. My dad: <pointing at the remote> Turn on the golf.

*** The doctors are making their rounds and telling him he has to start walking. My dad: I don't want to walk. Me: We'll walk to the pantry, it's thirty yards away. My dad: Shut up, John. Doctor: Well, uh, I think I'd like to see a more positive outlook. Me: <sigh> That IS positive.

*** My dad: Pick me up at the infusion center and we'll meet them at the bar. Should time out nice to the end of the game. Me: Going to the bar seems dumb, Dad. My dad: But I wanna go to the bar! Me: Sure, but - My dad: If nothing else I want to go so I can throw up on everybody. Me: Uh, I don't think they'd appreciate that. My dad: Fuck 'em. I got cancer. I throw up on who I want.

*** Every significant disagreement my father and I have about literature always ends up with me shouting "that interpretation is not supported by the text." Literally shouting those exact words.

*** We are watching scout tape of Hill vs. Perkiomen. Me: What's the nickname for Perkiomen? My dad: I don't remember. Me: I think when we played them they were the Indians, but I doubt they are any more. My dad: Yeah, kinda racist. I pick up my phone to look it up and my dad points at the TV. My dad: They just showed it. They're the Red Raiders. <pause> Me: Oh my god that's even MORE racist! My dad: It's like they were trying.

*** Me and my dad are talking about the start of the NHL season. My dad: How about his guy who scored four goals last night? Me: Yeah, Matthews. He's good. There's a reason he was the number one pick. My dad: And how about them losing anyway? Me: There's a reason they HAD the number one pick.

*** My dad: They stink right now. Me: THANK YOU DONNIE.

*** My sister calls my father while we're watching the football game. Me: Phone's ringing, dude. My dad: Thank you, Donnie.

*** Watching the Camping World Bowl. Me: Hey, look, former Eagles coach Pat Shurmur plays for Vanderbilt. My dad: It's his son. Me: No it isn't. My dad: It's his son! Me: You're making that up! Just admit you don't know something! My dad: He's really good. He went to LaSalle. Me: Fine! If you're going to constantly make shit up I'm going to find out who this guy actually is. <tapping on phone> My dad: What's it say? Me: Shut up.