#or it's a doctors trip woo-

[palettepainter]

Oh-ho blocked ear canal baby, the next following days are gunna be great-

[envy-of-the-apple]

Heart for a Heart

(Dark!Sung Jin-woo x reader)

3.8k - Word Count

Synopsis: In a world where soulmates share each other's pain, yours is particularly clumsy.

(Warnings: Yandere, dark content, gore(not done to reader), kidnapping)

It started out small. A few bruises. A paper cut here and there. A mark you never really noticed before. Things that didn't matter.

You never really minded the bond. It's often relieving that somewhere, out there, your soulmate was okay. Okay enough to get scratches and paper cuts. Alive enough to get hurt. You know, people that weren't so lucky so have those.

And then, you stopped being so lucky.

One day, you suddenly had this searing pain in your leg. It was excruciating, you were screaming so loudly you were sure the entire town could hear you. When you’re finally rushed to the hospital, it’s there where your doctors discover the broken leg. You hadn’t done this, however. 

You’re soulmate had. 

It escalates from there. Broken legs aren’t enough; sometimes, you got shattered ribs, torn ribs. Once you got your stomach ripped open by a long sharp object. That had kept you in the hospital for more than a month. At first, people would just assume you were painfully clumsy. All they had to see was your fingers getting crushed by seemingly nothing to get the picture. 

The only upside to this was whenever you were rushed to the hospital, your soulmate was inadvertently saved as well. Giving them some much needed aide when they clearly were in need of it. 

“Maybe your soulmate is a hunter.” Pondered your friend, sitting next to the hospital bed. 

“I hope not.” You mutter back, looking at your newest injury: Stabbed in the thigh. “They’re pretty shitty at their job, then.” 

“Maybe they’re pretty low.” She thinks out loud. “Rank D. No, maybe even rank E? Or they’re pretty high up, so they get the more dangerous jobs?” She shrugs. 

You huff. Somehow, the thought that your soulmate is out there intentionally putting both themselves and you in danger would make this entire situation even worse. You desperately hope this guy was just a clumsy idiot—the type of person who trips over a rock and shatters a whole bone. An accident would be much more forgivable. 

And if they were a hunter, then you hoped they’d have a big enough accident to put them out of commission permanently. 

You were high on drugs. You didn’t mean that. 

You certainly never wanted this. 

You were asleep when it started. Alone, in your apartment. No one was by you. Your phone was on the cabinet. You were alone when it happened. 

You wake up to the feeling of death. You don’t know how else to explain it, but something was looming over your chest, pinning you down until you were suffocating. 

In your panic, you fumble out of your blankets before trying to get out of bed. The moment your feet touches the floor, you stumble, crashing onto hardwood. On your hands, you look back, trying to see what you tripped on. 

Gone. 

Your leg was gone. 

“What the fuck…?”

You’re hyperventilating. You can’t stop yourself. You can’t control yourself. Your leg was gone. It was severed off. You were bleeding out. There was so much pain. So so much pain.

You needed to get to your phone. It was high up on your cabinet, just sitting there innocently, mockingly. You needed to call someone. 

You crawl on the floor, fists clenched tightly together, dragging yourself across the wood, smearing blood everywhere. It was worth it. It would all be worth it if you could just call help. 

There’s a second, and then you’re losing your breath as something slams into your chest, knocking you down. A sledgehammer? It didn’t matter what it was. You’re coughing up blood, retching out your dinner, when there’s another and another. You’re getting sliced. Punched. Beaten. 

No, not you. 

Your soulmate. 

You needed to get to your phone, but it’s miles above you, sitting right on the ledge. Sometime after that, your arm gets cut off, too. You’re clutching at the cabinet, crying out when there’s another stab, this one right in your chest, right at your heart. 

You see it then—carved stone skin, glowing eyes, a terrifying smile. Looking right at you because it saw you. 

You were going to die, you were going to die because of that thing. And neither you nor your soulmate could save either of you. Not this time. 

But your phone is right there, you could get to it if you just–

Your remaining arm give out; you collapse onto the floor. The last thing you see is your blood seeping from your body before you pass out. 

_

Death is warm, like sunlight dappled across your face. Death is calm, like birds cheerily chirping out your window. Death is peaceful, like the low hum of your fan. 

But you can’t be dead. You’re still breathing. 

Your eyes blink open. There’s not a remnant of pain, not even from your past injuries. You sit yourself back up, examining your hands, your body, your leg. You still had both of your feet. You wiggled your two hands. You were more than content to just write it off as a dream when you see the blood smear from where you dragged yourself from bed. Your clothes were torn, but your skin was magically fine underneath. It was like last night never happened. 

Except it had. You still remember that face. So many teeth. 

You know you lost your leg. You know you lost enough blood to die. And yet, you were still here. Had…had your soulmate done something? Had they saved you? 

It takes hours to clean up the blood. Thankfully, peroxide gets rid of most of it. You can still smell the faint stench of metal, and you hope an open window would be enough to air it out. 

You still don’t know what happened that night, and when you try to search the Internet for it, nothing comes up. Perhaps your soulmate was a hunter and they just happened upon a rare healing item during a dungeon raid, and that was enough to completely reverse any injuries that happened to you and them. It’s the best theory you had at the moment. 

You can’t bring yourself to dwell on that night. You’d go insane if you kept having to remember that face, those glowing eyes, that hellish grin. You move on, pretending it never happened. 

But ever since that day, something changed. 

Your soulmate stopped getting hurt so often. Instead of getting severe injuries every month, you’d get paper cuts, bruises, and burns. At most, you’d get a large cut or two, but even then, after a couple of minutes, even the deepest cuts would disappear, and your skin would be like it never happened in the first place. 

You didn’t mind the change. If anything, you embraced it. You’d take anything. Anything over being stuck in the hospital for months, wailing over injuries that you didn’t even cause. 

But maybe you should’ve read the fine print a bit carefully. You should’ve been more wary of the change. 

It’s a regular day. You’re out grocery shopping, humming as you toss a packet of bell peppers in your cart. Your neck twinges, like a claw mark. Your soulmate must’ve gotten into another scuffle. You’re a bit pissed, but at least they’d figure out a way to deal with it. 

You aren’t expecting the punch to your gut. 

It sends you flying into the aisle behind you. You crash against the milk cartons, produce flying everywhere around you. People are already clamoring over you, worridly asking if you were okay but you couldn’t answer because of how much pain you were in. You were bleeding, and everything felt broken.

You hadn’t felt this much pain in a while. You’d been growing used to the recent change. Lax. 

Clearly, your soulmate had too. 

‘How’

You don’t recognize the voice. There’s ringing in your head. Someone is tugging at your arm. 

‘How how howhowhowhowhowhow h o w.’

The voice claws at your brain, you’re sure you’re bleeding there, too. It’s insistent, shaky, delusional, repeating one sentence over and over again. 

‘The system made me do it’

You’re above someone–a man. He’s staring up at you with a kind of fear you’ve never seen anyone have before–desperate, animalistic. There’s white-blue crystals everywhere. The knife in your hands is bloody. 

These aren’t your hands. Longer. More masculine. 

“You won’t get away with this.” The man underneath you is stuttering. “You’ll never get away with this.” 

You open your mouth. This isn’t your voice, either. 

“What happens in a dungeon stays in a dungeon. Your words, not mine.” 

The dagger reaches down to cut off his head entirely. And then you’re back in the grocery store, screaming. 

There’s more people gathered around you now. Someone hollers for water. A woman is asking if you can stand. You’re still in so much pain that you can hardly breathe but you hardly give a shit about that right now. 

Your soulmate was a murderer. 

You can still feel the ghost metal of that dagger–how easy it was to slice the skin, like it was nothing but paper. And you still remembered your soulmate’s emotions, buried deep down inside that unbeating heart. 

Nothing. He felt nothing. Only one thought was going through his head. 

‘Use the system.’

_

You witnessed a murder. You felt a man die in your own hands. 

You don’t go to anyone. Not the police, not to the hunters association, not even to your own family. You keep your hysteria locked up deep inside of you. You’d believe you. You could barely believe yourself for what you saw. Some days, you genuinely thought you were going crazy. 

But you know what you saw. You know what you felt. 

Apparently, seeing what your soulmate sees is rare, but not unheard of. It typically happens when one soulmate is in a great amount of distress, typically when they’re about to die. The theory is that sharing the trauma between two people would increase the odds of survival. 

You think back to the smiling statue. You think back to that man pleading for his life. Blood was prevalent in both. 

You try looking up ‘system’ and anything of that sort relating to hunters. Unlike your last delve into research, you turn up with nothing. 

You get paranoid. Even you can admit that. You can’t help but avoid hunters these days, even the lower-ranked ones. The thought that one of them could be him makes you want to vomit. 

Or maybe all hunters were like him? Filled with bloodlust, eager to shred skin. Now that you think about it, the man back then hadn’t been all that innocent. You could feel the rage emanating from him as well, the desire to kill. He just never got to fulfill his desires. 

These people were roaming the street, completely free. They received no consequences for their actions what-so-ever. In some respects, your paranoia is justified. His slit throat could one day be yours. 

You don’t see any more visions after that day. Something that you’re extremely grateful for. It makes you think that you could even forget that you ever even had a soulmate. You’d like that. God, more than anything, you’d like that. Soulmates were supposed to be romantic. Every time you thought of yours, you were supposed to get butterflies in your stomach. Not fear. Not horror. 

How many things had he stolen from you? 

Does he even know you exist? Does he care? 

You can’t avoid hunters forever. They were a staple in mainstream culture. Basically ingrained into society itself. Celebrities, politicians, and the reach of hunters was prevalent everywhere. So when the 10th S-ranked hunter in Korea was revealed, you simply had to go and see. Your friends were insistent on it. You reluctantly went, partially out of guilt for constantly blowing them off these days and partially because you were trying to slowly overcome your irrational fear.

It was a grand affair. The press was going wild, and pictures upon pictures were taken. A flash would go off every millisecond. You were in the back of the crowd, and even you were taken aback by how much of a spectacle it was. 

“Can you see anything?” You friend asks eagerly, shifting through the crowd. “I only see cameras!” 

“Same here.” You agree and then you move to a less crowded place, right by the railing. “Oh, come over here, I think I see him–” 

You’ve never seen your soulmate before. 

You’ve only gotten glimpses. Hands, bloodied hands. Clothes, torn clothes. You’ve never seen his jet black hair. You’ve never seen his tall figure. You’ve never seen terrifyingly blank eyes. And yet, you instantly knew. 

It was him. 

That was your soulmate. 

In that moment, he freezes. You regain control of your feet to duck back into the crowd. You’ve never been more grateful for the wall of cameras, a divide between you and that–that–

What even was he anymore?

When you peek over, he’s already walking away, a crowd of hunters surround him. He hadn’t seen you. He couldn’t have, right?  You know the soulmate bond is vice versa, so if you knew who he was just by looking at him. 

Sung Jin-woo could, too. 

You leave without telling your friends. You ignore their calls and messages. For days, you sit in your room, huddled in the corner. You’re waiting for something. A break in the silence. An attack. Him. The only things you do is eat, wait, go to work, wait, eat, wait, wait. 

A week passes. Nothing happens. The Jeju island raid comes and goes; you watch as the entirety of Korea cheers for him, unknowing of his horrors. 

He doesn’t know you, even if all you can think about is him. It’s torture. You wish you could stop. 

_

Something that calmed you down these days was baths. Even then, you made sure they were only for special occasions. This week, your boss hinted at the thought of a full-time position instead of being a contractor. Things were going well in your life. You wanted to reward yourself. 

It’s a good night. The water is just the right temperature, and you’re so comfortable you almost fall asleep in the suds. When the water turns lukewarm, you step, wrapping yourself in a fluffy towel. The soapy water drains into the sink as you dress yourself in warm clothes, fresh out of the dryer. 

It’s a good night. You order takeout, settle on your couch, and play something meaningless. You laugh at the half-hearted jokes the characters make. 

It’s a good night. You’re warm. Your belly’s full. You’re content, and your eyes are drooping. You’re close to dropping when you finally pad into your bedroom. The light’s already on. 

He’s standing right next to your bed, unmoving even when the creak of your door is so loud it’s ringing in your ears. You’re frozen, your heartbeat is so loud. The intruder calmly looks over a picture frame.

“Are these your parents?” Sung Jin-woo asks, “Are you close with them?” 

You don’t answer. You can’t. Your mouth is so dry, you want to scream but your horror keeps you silent–it also, unfortunately, keeps you rooted in place. You’re too terrified to run. In retrospect, you doubted they would’ve let you go far. 

“The King asked you a question.” A voice hissed in your ear. That causes you to scream, whirling around, just in time to spot a monster emerging from the shadows. You don’t know what it is, you don’t care, watching as it fully forms, tall domineering, more insect-like than anything. A monster. 

Panic. You pull yourself into a corner before your knees give out. You’re so terrified you're close to pissing yourself. 

The man doesn’t seem so concerned. If anything, he looks the slightest bit irritated, like the monster’s sudden appearance was an inconvenience more than anything else. 

“Beru.” Sung Jin-woo starts. “You were supposed to be keeping watch.” 

The monster bows, suddenly flustered. “I’m sorry, My King. You see, this one wasn’t giving you an answer, so I thought–” Sung Jin-woo clicks his tongue. 

“Just get lost.” 

It disappears. And then, it’s just you and him. Alone. 

Sung Jin-woo sighed before he kneels in front of you. He’s smiling, like his presence is supposed to comfort you, somehow. You press yourself further into the wall, watching him. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes, voice soft, you watch as his hand reaches out. “I hope he didn’t startle you too badly. He’s…taking some time to get used to humans.” 

“Please don’t touch me.” 

You’re surprised at your voice. So is he. His fingers stop inches from your skin. Sung Jin-woo waits before he eventually retracts, standing back up. The space is supposed to be relieving. It isn’t. 

You already know what he’s capable of, even miles away. 

“I won’t hurt you.” He starts. “Why would I hurt my soulmate?” 

You cringe at his words. His smile drops ever so slightly. 

“Do you have any siblings?” He asks, glancing back at the portrait of your parents. “Or are you an only child?” 

He’s acting like you two are on some date with the way he’s asking all these questions. Maybe to his deranged mind, that’s precisely what this is.  

“Please go.” Your voice is so low, barely a whisper. “Please please please leave.”

That’s all you can say. Threatening will lead you nowhere. Calling the police on an S-class hunter is laughable. Attacking him is even more pitiful. The most you can do is beg the monster in your room to go away. He doesn’t leave. He doesn’t respond, not to your pleas, at the very least, but his smile completely drops. His face is uncannily blank. It’s terrifying, but you’re glad he’s stopped pretending he’s human.

“I always wanted to meet you.” Sung Jin-woo suddenly says, “Even back when I was an E-class. You…you helped me out of many binds, those days. I don’t think I’d still be alive without you.” 

He’s talking about the days you’d wake up and realize both your arms were broken when you’d be rushed to the hospital for a broken rib. When the hospital staff saved your life, they inversely saved his. If you two had met a few months ago, you’d be overjoyed to hear this, you’d be so glad that your intervention saved his life. 

“And then that dungeon appeared–the statues.” Your heart drops, but he doesn’t stop talking. “I thought I lost you that day. When that statue pierced my heart, I felt you die. I think I heard you for the first time. You were screaming, and then I felt your heart stop.” 

You whimper, trying to push him away; he grabs your face with his hands, forcing you to face him. Your hands grip his wrist, nails clawing at this skin. He doesn’t care, why would a man who’s fought monsters care about a kitten with tiny claws? 

“But here you are.” He’s giving a breathless laugh. “Completely unharmed. The system must have saved you. The system must have known that I would go insane if I lost you.” 

He was already insane. You don’t know when he lost his mind, but you know that it was far before he met you. You shiver when he presses his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. The tears are making your vision blurry. You can’t stop the hiccups and sobs, feeling like you’re on the verge of a panic attack. 

“I know you don’t understand, but I need to keep you safe.” He’s insisting. “I have so many enemies. People who’d want nothing more than to rip you into pieces.” 

You turn away, and he lets you hide from his face, tucking into his chest. His hands–the same ones he used to kill people–find their way to your shoulders, keeping you within his grasp, as though he’s terrified of you disappearing if he isn’t constantly crushing you within his grip. 

“I love you, " he murmurs into your hair, and you just cry louder. “I need to protect the ones I love; I can’t lose anyone else.” 

One moment, you’re in your room, the next, you aren’t. The shadows engulf you. When they disappear, you’re in an expansive room. The ceiling is miles above your head. As soon as Jin-woo releases you, you immediately scuttle away, shuffling into a corner.

“Where am I?” You demand, panicked. “What–what did you do–” 

You cut yourself off when a coughing fit wrecks your body. It must be pathetic from his point of view, for a monster like him. Maybe if he sees how pitiful you are, he’d realize this was all a mistake and let you go. 

He doesn’t. His eyes just soften. 

“It’s okay.” He tries to console when it starts to sound like you can’t breathe. “You’re safe now.” He takes a step forward, but this time, you don’t let him get close. He stops at your closed stature. His jaw works, and you realize how bad it would be if you got this kidnapper, psycho, murderer, irritated with you. 

“My King,” A familiar rasp comes. “My apologies, but the dungeon you requested is starting to open.” 

The same ant monster materializes beside him. Sung Jin-woo frowns when he’s interrupted, but you’re glad his attention is diverted elsewhere. His lips purse, like he’s debating something in his brain. His searing gaze fixes itself on you. 

After a suffocating minute, he steps back. 

“I apologize,” he says, “this must be a lot to take in. I’ll give you some time to adjust.” 

The more he backs off, the more you feel like you can breathe again. But you can’t relax fully. He waves his hand and another monster appears in your vision. A large knight-like monster with a long red plume. His dark armour clicks everytime he moves. 

“Igris will be right by the door if you need anything.” He tells you it’s supposed to be kind, but it sounds like nothing more than a warning. The knight bows to Sung Jin-woo, and you can feel the knight looking at you before he makes his way out the door, stopping at his post.

Sung Jin-woo watches you for a bit, before he finally relents, stepping away to stand back with the ant monster. The shadows run back to him again and then he’s completely gone. 

You’re alone. 

The door is shut, probably locked. Outside, you can hear the knight back back and forth, like a diligent guard. A diligent guard of a prison. 

Slowly, you curl into a ball, and as quietly as you can, you cry. 

[pedge-page]

aww imagine when ellie is a little older and she has one of those doctor kit toys, and joel gets a cut (or maybe a bruise or something like that) and ellies like "it's okay daddy i'll help you 🥺" and she runs with her little kit and puts on the stethoscope and does a little "check up" and takes his blood pressure and checks his temperature, and then she asks where his boo boo is 😭 and then she gives it a little kiss (bc thats what joel and reader do) and she's like "all better daddy :)" 😭😭😭 please that would send me into a coma that is too cute

notes: oh my god this was so adorable to think about, thank you so much for the baby fever.... I ran a little further with this one based off this ask!

Joel Dealing with Wife: Doctor Ellie

- - - -

Joel’s caught on to something pretty big here. His ever growing littler girl Ellie is quite the caretaker….of him especially. All he tolerated under you and Sarah finally met its match when Ellie quietly entered the world.

He started to realize it after she would burst into tears each time he’d trip on Sarah’s toys, or grunted at your shoulder slaps. But she only ever showed worry when it was him getting hurt.

And he couldn’t get enough of it. Okay sure, its wrong to make your kid worry about things they don’t understand isn’t quite worth stressing over, but he can’t help but fall into a giddy awe spell of greed seeing just how bent out she gets when she thinks he’s hurt. It started with big hugs for long minutes. Then she decided she needed to practice real medicine. The amount of bandaids this family has gone through despite no real injury is astounding to his wallet. 

But it’s commendable. She so carefully puts her warm hands over his forehead whenever he stubs his toe, or checks his pulse when he’s eaten something too hot. Doctor Ellie is always in the house, and ready to assist.

And maybe Daddy… goes a little too out of his way to bring her out.

Joel had just rammed a large plank of wood into his abdomen, not carefully checking its length before swinging it around as if he were still in his twenties. “Ugh--damnit!” He groans, clutching his side. The throb lasted for just a moment before dulling, and he was about to carry on his business when—

“DADDY!!!!” Ellie wails, followed by the patterpatterpatter of her little feet running as fast as they can take him towards his aid.

She’s etched with concern over her chunky face, grasping on her tip toes for his hands. “Daddy okay?” She asks with her high pitched, sweetie voice that gets his soft spot racing.

“Yea—No. No baby…I think—“ he clutches his side, as if remembering the near fatal accident he just suffered. “Uuughh---oh Ellie…I’m hurt. I’m hurt real bad.” He bends forward, one hand over his abdomen while the other covers his face. (He peeks through one squinted eye to see her reaction).

She gasps. “It’s okay daddy! I help make it better!”

She grasps his finger with her entire hand and leads him towards the living room. “Moo!” She commands to Spoon. “Amboolance! WEE WOO WEE!!” She waves her hands around to clear the way of the invisible traffic as Joel followed, half squatted and stiffly wobbling to match her short stature.

She quickly tosses a blanket on the carpet, pointing for Joel to lie down. He obliges, groaning more so from the cracks in his back and knee instead of the fake pain he’s been dishing out.

He watches as she digs frantically through the bin of various toys before retrieving her mobile hospital toy kit. With the stethoscope thrown on her waist (it’s for kids 8 and up and she isn’t quite the size yet), she puts the rounded part over Joel’s stomach. Then she presses her head on his injury as well, causing him to let out an oof and chuckle as she listens futally for his heartbeat. 

“I nee take look.”

She rolls up his shirt a few inches to uncover the invisible wound. 

“How bad is it, doc?” Joel pleas in dramatic desperation.

She tilts her head to the side, closing one eye with her palm before shaking her head.

“Nee sur—Sur gee.”

Joel puts together that’s surgery, and he’s starting to wonder where she’s learning all this hospital stuff….

She begins rummaging around for her other toys before announcing “Knife!”

Joel’s head sits right up, eyes wide in Father-panic mode that she may have gotten her hands on an actual—

She instead pulls her yellow and green kids-cooking toy plastic knife that is meant to part velcroed plastic vegetables, and realistically couldn’t even slice through two strands of hair. He lets out a sigh, leaning back and letting her continue with her critical patient.

“Snack time!”

Of course you just had to interrupt their special Daddy-daughter only playtime with fucking snack ti—oh is that apple slices and peanut butter?

Ellie drops everything, sits on her butt almost like a dog and awaits patiently for her snack. Conveniently Spoon has also come to sit automatically next to her, if the dog-analogy wasn’t evident enough.

“Interrupting surgery, babe,” Joel hums. 

“Surgery can wait after snack.”

Ellie wiggles her feet as you hold out a slice towards her mouth for her to bite and keep her hands clean. The room is silent minus the content, unhurried crunching of apple sizes.

“Okay baby, continue your surgery. What part are we at?” You ask, sucking a slice into your mouth as you also dip one into Joel’s open trap, giggling as he swallows it like an arcade ticket machine crunching away at his spoils. 

“Make cut,” she says plainly, searching around for that knife again.

You raise your brow suspiciously  but let any irrational thought go as she holds up her very non lethal kiddie knife.

Doctor Ellie starts serrating his belly fat back and forth with the dull piece of thick plastic.

It probably looks like real pain to her, were it not for him holding his breath as his chest and stomach puffing up and down, trying to hold his giggles and squirms together.

You watch Joel with raised brow, knowing he’s got tears in his eyes trying to play poker face so hard, knowing you’re there watching him get tickled by this thing and knowing he’s gonna deny it profusely. 

“Shouldn’t you put me under anesthesia—“

She slaps a piece of paper — the phony ticket from her train conductor set (Jesus, how many different toy sets did you guys get her?) — a little too carelessly, but enough to get the idea across that daddy needs to stop talking as she does careful work.

“Sew!” She announces, as if she has a nurse assistant handing her each tool. Although, technically, she does, but you seem more interested in wiping the plate of peanut butter and sucking it off your digits.

Joel’s eyes are closed, enjoying the serenity of lying on the floor. You don’t realize how good it is to be on the ground until you have kids, and now you’re constantly on the floor doing everything with them.

“Mommy…where sew?”

You shrug. They’ve got so many toys, you’re honestly not sure what creative thing she’s gonna come up with the “sew” Joel’s tummy. Given her use of the kids knife, you’re curious what kind of toy—

She pulls out a real sewing needle, point and sharp and definitely not kid approved along with fabric thread. It glints in her little hand for a brief moment as she dips to make contact on Joel’s skin—

“OOKAY Let’s not use that,” you yelp, grasping her arm carefully from going any further. Joel’s still got that stupid paper over his eyes, absolutely oblivious and too trusting of Ellie. 

Something else about kids: you can baby proof the fuck out of everything you didn’t even think needed baby proofing, and yet they will still —what does Jeff Goldblum say in the dinosaur movie?…—f’ind a way’. 

You remove the needle and thread from her grasp, position it inside a cotton swab and high out of her reach. You fashion a string of yarn wrapped around a q-tip instead, and hand it to her like it’s nothing. She takes it and goes back to “sewing” Joel’s tummy up, dragging the cottony tip over his naval.

His belly dips as he lets out a pained breath, trying so hard to act like he’s not tickled. 

“Am I gonna make it doc?” Joel asks curiously.

“Bluey!”

He doesn’t quite understand that answer, until she’s pulling out the packs of varied assortment of bandaids. It takes a few minutes to help her pull each sticky back off, but soon Joel’s got 4 bandaids of Paw Patrol on his stomach, one Bingo on top of his jeans, some chainsaw massacre’s on his arm, and a pretty hello kitty across his forehead. 

“All done!” She boasts happily.

“Nah uh! You need to make sure it stays better!”

“Oh—“ she bends down and kisses his belly, just like you and Joel always do whenever she gets a minor booboo. Kisses make everything better.

Minus the bacteria in your saliva but ya know it’s the placebo in the thought that really counts for the healing factor. 

“Give daddy one on the cheek for good measure,” he commands, pointing sternly into his face. She happily obliges with a fat “mmmmmwah!”

“Yay. Looks like he’ll live,” you muse a little too unhappily. Joel snickers, sitting upright. God, he somehow looks ridiculous and hot with hellow kitty plastered across his forehead. 

“Doc, do you think I need to come back in for a check up, ya know, just to see—“

But Ellie has already concluded her medical services, now hustling away to go find something else to do. 

-

Joel steps out to the backyard, where Sarah is cruising in her remote toy jeep with the 6 ducks packed in the passenger seat and trunk. 

She rolls to a stop, her brightly colored sunglasses peering up at her Dad. She sucks her ring pop silently, knowing the desperation he’s come to seek her out.

Sarah fully well knows Ellie has Joel in her back pocket, and she likes to let that play out. because ultimately… Sarah can also benefit from their needy relationship off one another.

Joel clears his throat, looking around as if he’s making an illegal trade. “I’ll give ya two ring pops if ya pretend to run me over. And not the face this time,” he warms, knowing she’’ll plea innocence to his own askings. “Just for Ellie to see.”

She sucks on her candy before pulling it out of her mouth with a loud pop. “I’d do it for free.”

----

taglist: @harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow @wintersquirrel @fluffygoffpanda @picketniffler @bbyanarchist @jeewrites

[spdrslayr]

001. atsv headcanons ! ★ jonathon ohnn & miguel o’hara both falling for the reader…

⁀➷ srcs... masterlist . rules . intro .

| synopsis, ୨♡୧ for the sake of this scenario, miguel and johnathon are working for alchemax in the same universe at the same time. miguel is a geneticist and johnathon is a physicist. you, my dear reader, are the cute receptionist!🥺

★ tags -> gender neutral reader; au; miguel o'hara; spider-man 2099; johnathon ohnn; the spot; love triangle; jealousy; fluff; etc...

★ warnings -> jealousy, slightly implied age gap, cursing

★ w.c -> 1,028

| xox, mei! ୨♡୧ -> woo my first post yay!! anyways requests are open for johnathon ohnn, miguel o'hara, and hobie brown if y'all are interested <3 my masterlist n rules are still a wip so stay tuned for that!

both men love their work but it still stresses the hell out of them. they’d enter and leave work exhausted. but then you started working at alchemax. you - with your bright smile and glittering eyes. most of the scientists and associates were drawn to you, but miguel and johnathon were on a whole nother level.

johnathon definitely fell first. it was daunting when someone he found attractive was being so sweet to him. jonathon’s usually too stuck in his own little world to care about such frivolities, so you were something special.  

★ he’s been late so many times because he’d chat with you for too long at your desk. at first he stumbled on his words with you, struggling to maintain eye contact while simultaneously trying not to stare too hard. now you’re one of the few people he feels comforting rambling to, because he knows you’re listening ★ johnathon loves it when you’d call him “doctor,” despite him insisting on his first name. sensing that air of respect from you makes him feel good about himself. ★ he takes great pride in making you laugh and smile with every chance he gets. this physicist has a vast arsenal of cheesy jokes, bad puns, and cute pick-up lines.  ★ he visits you throughout the day whenever he can, and tries to muster up the courage to have lunch with you. you’re young and gorgeous and out of his league but he’d be damned if he didn’t try. and then miguel o'hara came back from his business trip.

miguel didn’t care for the last receptionist. she was rude and lazy and got his name wrong. so it was a pleasant surprise when he was greeted by you instead. 

★ at first, your peppiness was too much for him, especially in the morning. he’d brush off your attempts at conversation and only mumble back to you when needed. such is the way of the resident grump at alchemax. but eventually, you wormed your way into his heart by remembering how he likes his coffee and staying up to help him on late nights in the lab. ★ miguel had to admit, you were a joy to have around. …and very very nice to look at. miguel's had a few serious relationships in the past, but they never ended well. since then he’s only indulged in one-night stands and temporary hook-ups. but he refused to look at you so fleetingly.  ★ miguel started bringing you expensive bouquets of flowers for your desk, along with sweet little notes. he’s obsessed with the scent of your vanilla perfume. he wants to be your hero, there to open every door, pull out every chair, and drive away any creep. for him, creeps include johnathon.

johnathon wasn’t concerned when he’d see other scientists and workers flirt with you. he wholeheartedly believed you two had a special connection that couldn’t be replicated. but seeing miguel turn you into a blushing stuttering mess proved him wrong. there was competition closer than he thought, and if he didn’t act quickly, he’d lose you for good.

★ johnathon felt deeply insecure in comparison to miguel. dr. o’hara’s movie star face & dreamy hair made him feel like crap.  ★ miguel clearly had way more experience in dating, always flirting with you so smoothly. johnathon on the other hand, is pretty sure he’s stuck in the friendzone with you. so he decided to experiment with bolder methods of winning your heart. ★ jonathon’s been more direct, showering you with compliments and buying you lunch whenever he could. he made it abundantly clear that he was single and that he liked you very much. you were his favorite person at alchemax, and for good reason.

miguel honestly thinks johnathon’s annoying as fuck. once john accidentally spilled hot coffee onto miguel on a very bad day, and he’s been bitter ever since. in the past johnathon would be friendly, but miguel would brush him off. who the hell is this lanky ass nerd and why is he hovering over him in HIS lab? 

★ now he’s wondering why the geek is messing with his love now. it pisses him off, not just because johnathon knows he feels the same about you, but how john makes you happier than he’s ever seen you be. miguel’s flirty, and funny in his own, stubborn way, but he lacked johnathon’s endearing dorky nature that had you hooked. ★ miguel is soooo grumpy lmao ★ really johnny is such a silly sweet guy while miguel, mr. give everything 1000% over here is fighting for his life. it took miguel a whole ass week to come up with a joke as good as johnathon’s that made you laugh your ass off. my guy is trying waaay too hard.

at first, miguel confronts johnathon kindly. he’s sympathetic and straight to the point - they both hold the same intentions towards you, but only one of them can win. he can tell that johnathon’s a good guy, with a big heart, so he’d understand… right?

★ “i’m in love with them, dr. ohnn. this isn’t just a silly crush. so either help me, or please refrain from getting in my way.” ★ “no, i’m good.” ★ “...you’re WHAT?”

war!!!!! miguel is a bitch to johnathon. dr. octavius has to give johnathon advice on how to win you over and how to fend off miguel. he’s gotten a lot better at brushing off miguel’s judgemental comments and acting unbothered by them.

although it’s not like johnathon isn’t cunty either. when he makes you laugh sometimes it’s because he’s making fun of miguel behind his back. he has a killer miguel impression that puts the original to shame.

★ “ugh, my shoulders are too broad and muscular. it’s so hard being so fit.” ★ “johnny!! he’s coming this way!” ★ “i work out every single part of my body at the gym. i do forehead pushups to keep my hairline in check.” ★ “JOHNNY-”

as long as a certain collider project goes swimmingly, and a radioactive spider stays in it’s fucking lane,  you’ll end up with one of them.

…unless…? ;)

[yanyanderes]

i write tfa now bc i said so. here’s some yandere scenarios of the autobots with a human (y/n).

optimus prime being all overprotective, being sweet towards them during the day but using intimidation when the sun sets to drive away people he thinks might be a bad influence on them. insists that either he or one of the other autobots escort them wherever they go, stating that their affiliation with them could put a target on their back.

bumblebee being clingy and insisting on going everywhere with them. easily jealous, and sure, sometimes it can be a bit silly, but it quickly escalates to him wanting them to put his wants as a priority above their studies, work, other loved ones, etc.. if left alone for too long, isn’t afraid of guilt-tripping to get them to spend time with him.

bulkhead being the usual gentle giant he is. he cherishes every second (y/n) spends with him, loves it when they introduce him to new hobbies, adores when they show interest in his. but that sweetness can quickly be replaced with bitterness the second someone tries to take their attention from him. he understands they have a life to live with other people, but with all his autobot work, the times he gets with them can be few and far in between, so please forgive him if he loses his temper and ends up breaking a lamppost or two.

ratchet learning human anatomy and how the human body works just so he can treat (y/n) whenever they need checkups. humans are fragile, so every time (y/n) brings up their doctors, no matter how skilled or experienced they might be, he always distrusts them. gets visibly annoyed and even offended if they reject his offer and insists on going to their usual doctor. but woo boy, if they ever do so much as catch a cold or god forbid break a bone, there’s no way he’s letting them out of his sight. time to show them how a real doctor treats a patient.

prowl is seemingly the most normal of the autobots. when the others are too overbearing, he offers to sneak them away to relax in a peaceful park. whenever they’re stressed, he gives them good advice on how to deal with their issues. he’s often the voice of reason and tell the others not to go too overboard as to not drive (y/n) away. he’s so kind and patient, and they always know how to cheer them up. he knows so much about (y/n)… almost too much… too bad, if they had just turned their head fast enough, they might have seen the silhouette of a motorcycle in the darkness.

[aboutkiyoomi]

nights like this ⋆ timeskip!iwaizumi x f!reader

part 2 from THISS iwaizumi oneshot !

⋆ synopsis: who knew that an airport crush would ever develop into the. best years of your life. falling in love with iwaizumi was easy and simple, especially with nights like this.

⋆ warnings : tooth rotting fluff, some language and down bad iwaizumi.

a/n: i didnt even realize the traction that pt. 1 recieved. i wrote this purely because of my infatuation with late night drives in the hills of california.

"here...it's my number." sounded like a distant memory. it had been exactly three years since you met iwaizumi in the hastle of the LAX airport. never in a million years did you think that you would be in this situation, cuddled up in the passenger seat of your glc coupe with the windows down, wind blowing throughout the car. moonlight spilling in through every inch of glass, the led lights illuminating the car a soft pink.

"can you please tell me where we're going?" you grumbled, splaying your legs messily on the dashboard.

"would it be a surprise if i did...oh ok." he answered, eyes shooting you a goofy smile.

"what surprise is an almost 3 hour drive." you giggle, grabbing his phone from the cup holder to play music.

sparks will fly by jhené aiko began playing, the car was calm and your breath was even, it truly felt like you had acheived the greatest state of peace.

in the 3 years, iwaizumi had managed to woo you into a relationship. you had recently moved in with each other and he decided to stay in california just a bit longer to get his doctorate in physical therapy while you finished law school, becoming an accomplished and esteemed attorney. to everyone else, it could seem like the two of you moved fast but no one would understand the love that you and iwaizumi had with each other.

recently, the two of you had a discussion about life and your goals in the future. iwaizumi knew that with his own, personal goals in mind, he wanted you by his side and he was willing to make sacrifices in order for that to happen. you admitted the same, which eventually led to iwaizumi planning this elaborate trip.

the music played, not obscurely loud but at the perfect volume. the led lights in the car shone on the best angles of iwaizumi possible. his left hand on the steering wheel, right hand firmly placed in yours and rubbing gentle circles. eyes forward, alert at the road for any possible dangers and the stubble that he refused to cut off gracing his perfectly, chiseled jawline.

"you're so handsome, haji." you muttered, eyes full of adoration for the man.

"and you're beautiful, love." he smiled, his eyes focused on the road but crinkling gently at the edges, signalling his content. "if you're tired, you can sleep. your blanket is right under the seat." squeezing your hand gently, he noticed the tiredness floating around in your eyes. you mumbled a quick thanks before pulling his wrist up to gently press a kiss on it and covering yourself with the fluffy blanket.

"i love you...so much." you whispered, before fading off into a comfortable sleep.

iwaizumi smiled deeper, only solidifying his decision as you slept peacefully next to him. the ride continued like that, the windows now rolled up, the music reverberating gently throughout the vehicle and the lights now set unto a soft blue tone. your hand wrapped in his as you slept comfortably. when you arrived at your destination, you were softly shaken awake, eyes blinking back tiredness when you saw the beautiful scenery that greeted you from the open car door.

the pine trees with light snow sprinkled atop their leaves, the driveway that looked freshly shoveled and the beautiful cabin that laid in wait of your arrival. your loving boyfriend, with bags and suitcases in hand, holding your door.

a little slice of paradise.

***

the night had ended quickly as you left the car, the two of you shared a quick meal of fast food that iwaizumi picked up right before you arrived before washing up and falling asleep quickly. iwaizumi had a day full of activities planned, as a kickstart for your sporadic vacation.

it was nearing the last day of your trip and iwaizumi had some elaborate surprise acitvity that he felt the need to disappear all day for.

"just relax for a bit and then be ready by 8, trust me." was all he said before disappearing out the door of the cabin. as it neared 8, you began to grow anxious. you hadn't seen iwaizumi all day and it was unlike him to leave you alone for this long, especially in an unfamiliar area. your mind was silenced when you heard the door to the cabin open and his soft footsteps padding into the room.

you emerged from the bathroom, earrings in your hand as you hobble into your shoes. his eyes blown with love as he takes in your appearance, absolutely gone for you. he kisses you on your forehead quickly.

"you look...unreal, baby. like, wow." his eyes bright as he wraps his arms around your waist gently.

***

the car rolled up to a secluded area, a clearing in the forest with a beautiful view of the frozen over expanse of big bear lake. the trees were sparsely decorated with fairy lights, a blanket spread neatly on the floor and decorative flowers spread across the blanket. candles illuminating the area with their warm light and two empty plates rested in the center.

"oh...wow. haji, this is-" you started, your eyes wide and your heart pounding in gratitutde. absolute thankfulness for the man that is hajime iwaizumi.

"wait. compliment me after this." he smiles and sends a playful wink, a hint of nervousness leaking through his words before he pulls out the bouquet of assorted flowers. ranging from babys breath to your most favorite flowers.

"wow...haji this is. it's perfect. thank you." you smile before grabbing the flowers and kissing him softly.

"sit..." he mumbles, motioning towards the set up. you hobble over, sitting cross legged on the blanket, smile absolutely radiating in the warm lights of candles and cheap string lights.

"you know...3 years ago, i don't think i would ever imagine myself being in this position. i never thought a simple airport crush would ever turn into this....such a deep feeling and experiences i couldn't ever fathom." iwaizumi starts, he's walking towards you slowly before he pauses in front of the blanket.

"y/n, i love you and i know i tell you everyday but i truly and genuinely feel so deeply for you. i care about you and i want to give you everything. you deserve the world and absolutely everything in between. i may not have definite plans for the future but i know whatever opportunities i'm given, i want you. i want you by my side for all of it. i'd be so lucky to experience that...which is why, i have to ask." he pauses before reaching into the pocket of his straight legged pants and kneeling quickly.

"yn ln, would you please do me the absolute honor of spending the rest of our lives together." the ring is suddenly brandished in front of you, iwaizumi's face positively tearing up, the sheer adrenaline of the situation flowing through his body.

your eyes prick with tears, hands shaking as you reach out to touch the ring, pleading for tangible proof that this was real. the moment you had been begging to happen, that you had waited for was finally here. before your words could register, tears were falling as you nodded rapidly. hands reaching out to throw yourself onto iwaizumi before whispering in his ear.

"yes. in every universe, i would say yes." you mumble, head buried in the crook of his neck.

a/n: i want you all to be aware the proposal bit was soooo impromptu and i never planned for it to exist but, alas. it did and im glad it did. i teared up writing it bcs my favorite love song of all time began playing and it tore my heart up. anyways timeskip iwa ily.

[insipid-drivel]

Endometriosis, Fat Doctors, And Bellybuttons: What They Don't Teach You In Health Class

Woo another rambling TED talk, but I just got home from a meeting with a doctor specializing in wound care that I really feel a lot of you should hear:

Firstly, I've been having mysterious pains in my bellybutton area since... probably last Autumn? But I've had menorrhagia (extremely heavy, painful, and even dangerous periods that can cause spontaneous hemorrhaging) since I was 13 years old. Since my menorrhagia became active, I've been begging for a hysterectomy. I'm moving into my 20 year anniversary of Living With A Uterus That Hates Me As Much As I Hate It.

Being trans (agender) also really incentivizes the whole "yeet the uterus" thing, too, but that doesn't really have anything to do with why I wanna talk to y'all about endometriosis and bellybuttons.

Anyway, as of this year, I've had a lot of issues with my bellybutton region. Random infections, inflammation, pain, trips in and out of the ER; the works. My doctor has been so confused by my bizarre constellation of symptoms that he hasn't been sure of what's going on or what the best course of action is, aside from referring me for more tests and prescribing comfort measures in the meantime.

Until today. My desperate track for a diagnosis began over a week ago when my symptoms became alarmingly sepsis-like, but my test results came back with nothing but signs of an elevated white blood cell count. My doctor has been rushing me from specialist to specialist, and today was a wound care doctor that specializes in treating bariatric, hospice, and disabled patients that can't necessarily follow conventional wound-care advice meant for young, abled, and thin people.

I didn't expect much. Maybe some magnifiers, swabs, and a biopsy at worst, followed by antibiotics and whatever else, but definitely nothing that would help me solve this latest scary health mystery. While the worst of the pain I had that landed me in the ER went away on its own enough that I can get by with mobility aids, I still haven't had a diagnosis.

Until Awesome Fat Doctor.

Awesome Fat Doctor I celebrate. I live for this man. He literally gave me a reason to keep on trying and not give up. I was so scared of the appointment I'd gone nonverbal (not weird for me these days), but I got my voice back after I spent a while with him and his nurse (who was also fantastic). Even though I only met him for a few minutes and he forgot to introduce himself so I can't remember his name right now, Awesome Fat Doctor was a rock star. He was in his later middle age, scruffy, unshaven, and fat - enough that I could imagine the reason he specializes as a wound care doctor is because he may have gotten fed up of other doctors blaming his own health problems on his weight and life choices.

AFD gave no fucks. Along with being a big guy, he carried himself with the gruff no-nonsense of a man that's probably beaten up his ableist colleagues overdiagnosing fibromyalgia in the back of a Wendy's parking lot. He had been informed of my autism and my own needs for a wheelchair due to my own long-term chronic pain and other health issues, as well as my troubles speaking, and treated me like a little cousin that was having a rough go of things like he'd had.

He was compassionate and a straight-shooter with me. He was respectful of my boundaries, talked to me as casually as if I could respond like anybody else with working vocal cords (which I was eventually able to), and generally had all the bedside manner of someone that has worked with patients with special needs of all kinds. He looked at the trouble area and my records and history, told me that he was gonna do his best to get things straightened out, and then went quiet as he studied the timeline of my issues.

"Do you have endometriosis?" he asked, while studying a photo my mom had taken of a... skin infection over my lower abdomen, which had spread from my bellybutton.

I was confused.

"Not that I know of," I answered. I'd found my voice already when he and his nurse both helped put me at ease and showed me I was respected, safe, and seen. I've been tested a few times in my life for endometriosis and had my fair share of ultrasounds (the most common way to diagnose endo), and nobody had found anything unusual. But I have menorrhagia, am always in pain from my reproductive organs, and am desperate to get them removed. I'm on a 24/7 regimen of 2x normal birth control pills just to keep me from menstruating for my own safety. It sucks.

"My wife once had to get emergency surgery for what we thought was appendicitis. Do you know what it turned out she had?" he asked me, very suddenly, and like he had an idea.

"Ectopic pregnancy?" was my first guess, because women have died in the past to ectopic pregnancies that were mistaken for appendicitis.

AFD shook his head. "It was her menstrual cycle, and she had endometrial tissue bleeding into the space beside her appendix. I think you may have endometrial tissue in your bellybutton, and every time your hormones try to cycle in spite of your birth control pills, it bleeds and infects."

I was gobsmacked. Endometriosis and PCOS run in my family as reliably as eye and hair color, but I'd never really thought of how pernicious endometrial tissue could actually be. When I picture endometrial tissue, I picture overgrowths inside of reproductive tissue, or clinging to the outside; not growing randomly within the abdominal cavity or emerging out of my fucking skin like a turkey pop-up timer of doom.

AFD slowly nodded. "And the only way we'd be able to see the endometrial tissue is if you had it tested while you were menstruating and the tissue itself was inflamed and bleeding. Otherwise, it won't show up as anything different to the normal, healthy tissues surrounding it. A biopsy isn't reliable, either, because we have to know exactly where the tissue is before we test it. You have to have your hormones triggering the tissue to inflame and behave differently so it can be diagnosed if there are no big deposits of tissue to see."

After a long time of my ears ringing, I asked him, "Do you think it's possible that the ultrasounds were showing false negatives? Like, I have endometriosis and had it all along, but the tissue is too small to see or were being looked at at the wrong time?"

As it turns out, that's exactly what may be going on.

I see my doctor tomorrow, and meet with my surgeon at the beginning of next month.

Listen to your bodies, y'all. I am so thankful to that doctor, who wound up diverting into a very colorfully-worded rant about how much he hates the American medical system immediately after that. He gave me hope that I was just having new issues with old problems and was right all along about what my body really needed, and that my symptoms now are just showing what happens when doctors neglect their patients' needs.

I did wind up asking if he specialized with wound care because of how other doctors responded to his weight, and he said that it was a mix of reasons beginning with Yes: Both so he could have a safe space from fatphobia and ableism for himself and his patients, but also so his wife - who, while I hadn't seen her, he explained was about as big as he was - would have her own pain taken more seriously, being both fat and female. As he'd already explained, she hadn't been successfully diagnosed with endometriosis until she was symptomatic of full-blown appendicitis-levels of pain as an adult and her doctors were forced to stop blaming her pain on her weight.

Now, as I sit here reflecting... It's hard to believe that, thanks to this doctor's theory, I may finally be free from pain and dysphoria sooner than I imagined. It just took a doctor who could empathize with me to see me, and choose to take the scarier hill to fight on with me.

[simply-whump]

The Story of Park's Marriage Contract (열녀 박씨 계약 결혼뎐) - Whump List

Whumpee : Kang Tae Ha played by Bae In Hyuk

Synopsis : In the 19th century, on the night of her wedding day, Park Yeon Woo's husband died after revealing that he had suffered from a heart condition for a long time. She is devastated, but before she can even mourn her husband, a man kidnaps her and throws her in a well. She is now in present-day Seoul, South Korea, and the man who saves her from the swimming pool is Kang Tae Ha, who looks a lot like her dead husband from the 19th century. He is the successor of SH Seoul Corporation. He does not like opening himself up to others due to his heart disease and the trauma that he endured in his childhood. (MDL)

Genres : Historical, Mystery, Romance, Fantasy

Warning! Possible spoilers below!

Kang Tae Ha

Ep 1 : (Past Life) Suddenly in pain, holding his chest, coughing up blood, collapses, concern for him, dies

Ep 2 : (Present Life) (42:00) Wakes up from a nightmare (comedic) — (48:52) Headbutted, puts some ice on his chin — (58:18) Scared, passes out, concern for him, slapped (comedic) — (01:06:18) Something in his car breaks, has a car accident

Ep 3 : (00:38) Ha a car accident, bleeding slightly from his forehead, stumbling — (14:40) Pushed down underwater (comedic) — (25:22) Taking pills — (27:34) Getting tested at the hospital, scar on his chest — (36:01) Trips, falls to the floor (comedic) — (01:03:40) Falls to the ground, wincing

Ep 4 : (16:20) Remembering traumatic memories, panic attack, heavy breathing, concern for him, slides down to the ground — (23:16) Having a nightmare, sweating, calmed down — (01:01:45) Worried for someone, holding his chest, falls down a hill, unconscious

Ep 5 : (01:25) Wakes up, wincing in pain, worried for someone, small cut on his face — (07:30) Cut treated — (25:49) Falls — (01:02:20) Heart condition acting up, in pain, holding his chest, collapses

Ep 6 : (04:01) Repeat of the previous scene, in pain, has to pretend he is okay, collapses, concern for him, heavy breathing — (01:04:37) Going to a place linked to his trauma, anxious, worried for someone, holding his chest, heavy breathing, panic attack, concern for him, scar on his chest revealed

Ep 7 : (Previous scene continues) (01:33) Panic attack, heavy breathing, scar reveal — (02:26) Sleeping in bed — (04:35) Teary-eyed, hugged, crying — (58:55) Heart disease acting up, holding his chest, groaning in pain — (19:52) Heart disease acting up, groaning in pain, holding his chest, taking medication — (23:02) Distancing himself from his loved one because of his heart condition, crying — (25:04) Told his pacemaker is not working and that he will experience heart failure 

Ep 8 : None

Ep 9 : (18:34) Hit with a cane — (01:01:08) Learns a shocking truth, remembering painful memories, crying

Ep 10 : (03:28) Shocked, panicked, crying, heavy breathing, held — (22:36) Slapped, crying — (23:52) Heart disease acting up, holding his chest, concern for him, heavy breathing — (24:56) Sleeping, examined — (01:04:56) In a dangerous situation, pushed

Ep 11 : (01:43) Pushed out of harms way, worried for someone, emotional, crying, hugged — (24:45) Teary-eyed — (27:15) Begging the doctor to fix his heart, emotional — (01:07:29) (Past life) Suddenly in pain, holding his chest, coughing up blood, collapses, concern for him, dies

Ep 12 : (Repeat of previous scene) — (Present Life) (03:10) Crying — (Past Life) (43:29) Heart condition acting up, in pain, concern for him, in bed, pulse taken

>> More Whump List

>> Another Whump List with Bae In Hyuk

[nortism]

Nor's Les Mis Fic Recommendations

I've been scouring les mis ao3 for a few months now so here are my fav fics I've found. I've tried my best to tag tumblrs where I can but let me know if you are the author of any of these and I'll tag you!

Three Days (or The One Where Javert and Valjean Take a Road Trip Through France and Raise a Child) by zamwessel

Rating: E

Ships: Javert/Jean Valjean

Summary:

Javert calls what he thinks is Valjean's bluff about needing three days to find the child Cosette and intercede for her. The Inspector comes along for the ride -- and gets much more than he bargained for, in the process.

Notes: First Les Mis fic I ever read and its an absolute banger. It's pretty much exactly what it says on the tin and I'm a sucker for a kid fic so I absolutely adored it.

A Change of Bizarre Kind by M_Moonshade

Rating: E

Ships: Javert/Jean Valjean

Summary:

Six months ago, Doctor Henry Jekyll sought to escape the dramatics of London by coming to M-sur-M. Tonight his murderer pays a visit to the Mayor Madeline. (Being the Curious Case of Inspector Javert and Mister Hyde)

Notes: Criminally underrated. Jekyll and Hyde AU but I went in knowing very little about that book and I could understand what was going on. Each chapter contains bits from the past and present day until the timelines eventually add up which makes the main mystery all the more compelling. Also Fantine is alive and well which is always nice.

Our Souls Still in Fetters by Cinaed

Rating: E

Ships: Javert/Jean Valjean

Summary:

After Javert is assigned to discover a blackmailer within a public-house that caters to men who prefer other men, Valjean is unexpectedly drawn into the case. Together they must stop the blackmailer before any lives can be ruined...including their own.

Notes: This author has so many great Valvert fics but this one is probably my favourite. There's the classic "undercover as a couple" trope as well as old timey gay bars. Also a huge fan of how this author portrays Cosette and Valjean's relationship.

In Defiance of all Geometry by idiopathicsmile

Rating: T

Ships: Combeferre/Enjolras/Grantaire

Summary:

Amis House might not be the biggest student co-op, or the fanciest, but it's got something all its own. Specifically, smoke damage on the kitchen ceiling from that time Courfeyrac lit a political pamphlet on fire. In which there are secrets, pining, pancakes, and revelations, and sometimes the shortest distance between three points is not a triangle but a circle.

Notes: I love a good poly fic and this is one of the best. Also just a generally fun and wholesome friendship fic. Definitely a nice comforting read after all the old man angst I've got on here.

Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight) by Need_To_Comment_Rising (@aromantic-enjolras)

Rating: T

Ships: Courfeyrac/Enjolras, Combeferre/Courfeyrac (Its complicated)

Summary:

Enjolras takes a swig of his drink with everyone else, and then smirks at Courfeyrac over the rim of his glass. "You didn't seem to mind much me being bossy yesterday night when I had you in my bed..." At his side, Grantaire chokes on his drink and starts coughing. But how did we get here, you might ask? Well, let’s rewind. ------- Enjolras and Courfeyrac have had a friends with benefits arrangement for a while. But when Coureyrac starts dating Combeferre, Enjolras is left with the question of where he fits in the new status quo...

Notes: Another poly fic with aromantic!Enjolras. I love fics with unconventional relationship dynamics as well as people actually communciating with each other (though not before there's been some hijinks ofc). Criminally underrated.

How Marius (Painstakingly) Won the Hand of Mlle. Fauchelevent by writingsyrup (@syrupsyche)

Rating: G

Ships: Cosette/Marius

Summary:

When setting out to woo his beloved Cosette, Marius had never imagined that it would bring him to this: sitting at a dining table next to her grim-faced father, and staring at the marble that was Enjolras picking at his peas. Or; Enjolras and Cosette are siblings in 19th century France. Marius has to deal with the consequences of this.

Notes: Probably the best Marius characterisation I've ever read, he's just so awkward and weird bless him. I love a good awkward "meeting the parents" and this filled that hole in my heart. Is part of a wider series but can be read as a standalone.

Omnia mutantur, nihil interit by Apathy and saltedpin

Rating: M

Ships: Javert/Jean Valjean, Cosette/Marius Pontmercy

Summary:

Valjean's panting breath does not belong to him. He scrambles out of the bed and stumbles on too-light feet to the mirror in the corner, although he already knows what he will see. Peering back at him from behind a curtain of dark hair, wide-eyed, is Éponine Thénardier. Jean Valjean awakens one morning from uneasy dreams to find that something quite unexpected has happened during the night.

Notes: Cosette and Javert get bodyswapped and Marius is weirdly into it, if that's not enough to convince you to read this fic then idk how to help you. Not normally a huge body swap fan but this was absolutely hilarious as well as having some genuinely sweet moments. Also Theodule is there which means something to some people.

It's Not the Same Anymore by ShameDumpster (@shamedumpster)

Rating: T

Ships: Enjolras/Grantaire

Summary:

Grantaire is a bookstore clerk in his late twenties, and to everyone’s eternal disbelief, a father. It’s been years since he’s seen anyone from his former group of friends, after a falling out cleaved him from the ABC, but everything changes when Enjolras walks into his bookstore. Can they rekindle their friendship, or something more, while they both come to terms with how their lives have changed over the past decade?

Notes: SO SO GOODDD!! Top tier slowburn kid fic, I could wax poetic about it for days. Had me gripped from start to finish.

Acts of Mercy by cruisedirector and Dementordelta

Rating: M

Ships: Javert/Jean Valjean

Summary:

After witnessing and reporting a murder, Javert is dismissed from the police and takes a job protecting the women in a brothel, where many of his long-held ideas about justice are challenged.

Notes: Breaking, man from the 1800s finds out that life for women is hard. Such a solid redemption arc fic with some really memorable ocs.

Lynx's Claws and Wolf's Mane by Kaleran

Rating: T

Ships: None

Summary:

When he is older, when he is a prison guard, he thinks back to his childhood and realizes he had been considerably fortunate. "Prison is no place for a girl like you," his mother told him often, usually fussing with what rags they could use for clothing. "Forgive me for this, draga mea." And so, instead of a daughter, she pretended to have a son.

Notes: Completely canon compliant except Javert is trans and the impact that has on the story really adds an extra layer to his character that I find really compelling. Warning, it is very depressing bc canon.

[callmearcturus]

okay so PC Gamer just scattered a bunch of catnip for me with an article about What If Each Fallout Game Were A Movie, Who Would Direct It and I am going to read this live and judge it

because I'm having a relapse, we all understand this

A focused, mature, pressure cooker of a movie that is short and stylishly violent? Better call the director of John Wick to take the directorial reigns. Personally, I find Leitch's movies tend to have rather underwhelming final acts, too, and also have a penchant for ending abruptly when you feel more could have followed, so he's the perfect fit for a game that's incredible until it very quickly ends without much fanfare. John Wick movies don't tend to be very wacky either, often depicting the hero's world as very serious (despite the ludicrous premise of the fiction), so again this feels a strong and apt choice for the OG Fallout. A Friday night action movie.

HMMMMMM. I feel like I disagree on the mode I would want FO1 to be in. Like, yes, you can play it that way, but FO1 is famously one of the first games to make Speech arguably the most important skill to have in a video game, so I dunno. I love Leitch and feel like while his sense of realistic-yet-stunning action is a trademark, I think the use of locations is even more of his thing, and when I think about memorable locations, I think more of FO2 than FO1.

I feel like I would give FO1 to some hyper-realistic scumbag who is more obsessed with Process than Enterta-- oh. Nolan. gdi I'd give FO1 to Chris fucking Nolan, him whomst I loathe.

Who better to direct this expansive and often wacky depiction of the Fallout universe than the director responsible for epics such as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, 12 Monkeys, Brazil, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, and The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? Gilliam loves a good road trip in his work, too, which fits with Fallout 2's Highwayman-based exploration, and his penchant for vast vistas with wacky and absurd details feels perfect. The combat scenes wouldn't be as slick as Leitch's Fallout movie, but characterisation and a more rambling, philosophical, off-beat narrative would deliver. Plus, Fallout 2 even has a Bridge Keeper encounter that directly references Monty Python and the Holy Grail, in which Gilliam starred. Watch on a Saturday night for a bit of everything.

......... I straight up cannot argue with that. No notes.

For a movie based on a game that is focussed almost entirely on squad-based combat in urban environments, combat where soldiers die in terrible ways and the horrors of war are all too apparent, I feel the director of The Hurt Locker, Kathryn Bigelow is perfect for this. Fallout: Tactics would be a war movie with a very tight focus and strong characterisation for just a handul of lead characters. Tense and at times adrenaline-inducing due to the flashes of extreme violence, but interspersed with soul-searching dialogue from its grizzled, war-scarred leads, this would be an erudite and focused Fallout war movie. Watch on a Monday or Tuesday night.

Looking at Bigelow's list of works is how I just now learned she also did Strange Days, so I think it's fair to say that this is giving her way too small of a pick. Give her FO1 and give Leitch FOT.

It would be so bad. Forget about A-bombs, everyone in the movie would drop an F-bomb every other line. Don't watch on any night.

Fucking weak-ass pick. Think about the history of how FO:BoS happened, i.e. they were trying to slap the Fallout license onto a completely different style of game without any respect for the source material. They swapped out Nuka Cola for Bawls product placement.

Give it to Zack Synder.

As the game that properly introduced V.A.T.S. system slow-mo to the Fallout universe, with kill shots shown off in glorious bullet time, there can be only one director for a film version of Fallout 3: the master himself, John Woo. Woo's stellar action movie work in titles such as Hard Boiled, Broken Arrow, Face/Off and Mission Impossible 2, among others, means the action in this game is off the charts. Slow-mo radiated doves and all! Woo handles the post-apocalypse war vibes well, too, thanks to his work on Windtalkers, while he communicates the hero's awakening into the future thanks to previous on Paycheck. A good fit for Friday night, thanks to the action, or midday during the weekend due to a longish, war movie-style runtime.

.....................

holy shit i cannot argue with that, that's genius. absolutely fucking yes. i think that's a perfect fit.

also, like, FO3 and Woo have the same "problem" for me, in that they know exactly what they are doing, it's just not my cup of tea, but there is a solid identity there.

yeah, fucking do it, give FO3 to John Woo.

SHUT THE FUCK UP

WHO WROTE THIS ARTICLE, AND DID THEY WRITE IT FROM MY FUCKING ATTIC?!

Casinos, gritty environments, extreme violence and heist movie vibes mean I think of Guy Ritchie for this film adaptation. Ritchie's also a fan of slow-mo combat shots, too, so we've got the game's V.A.T.S. system represented well, too, while the game's macho factional warfare as undertaken by factions like Caesar's Legion and the NCR, is right in keeping with Ritchie's love of gang-based conflict. There's not much romance in New Vegas, either, which is a weak spot for Ritchie, but as shown in movies like Sherlock Holmes, Snatch, The Gentleman, and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, he's good at holding together movies with various interconnecting narratives. His work on Aladdin also shows he can handle the comedic and wacky aspects of New Vegas, too. A mid-week action-comedy treat.

/rubs face

I am unfortunately a massive fucking fan of Ritchie movies. this is so powerful.

i think........... Ritchie is so thoroughly uninterested in saying anything philosophically profound, you cannot give him The Most Profound Fallout Game. like, I want to love this idea, I really do, but no.

....................... You need someone with snappy dialogue that actually means something, who is willing to veer into borderline magical realism, who loves an overdressed set, and who can manage a lot of different characters with well-reasoned motivations.

I think you need Rian Johnson.

OR DO I JUST WANT RIAN JOHNSON TO MAKE A VERSION OF "DEAD MONEY" THAT DOESN'T SUCK? WHO COULD SAY.

I feel Ang Lee is a good choice for a Fallout 4 movie adaptation, having good form in handling large and sprawling fictions with plenty of characters and side-stories. Just look at films like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Life of Pi as an example of this. He's got some form with action, too, thanks to his work on Hulk. There's probably more romance/relationship offering in Fallout 4 than in any other Fallout, and Ang Lee has form here too. The result, though, is a movie that ends up being a bit flabby and unfocussed at times, despite technically bringing more to the table than Fallout 3, and being funnier and lighter overall. Watch on a day off due to a chonky runtime.

what are you fucking talking about, Ang Lee's best movies are Brokeback and Sense & Sensibility, and his worst are probably Hulk and Gemini Man. Fallout 4 is the one where Bethesda just stopped pretending to give a shit about story and roleplaying, instead pivoting the game into a skinner box of tightly-honed but ultimately soulless mechanics.

I'm not even trying to mock Marvel, but I feel like the MCU's Design-By-Producer-And-Executive-Oversight is actually the answer here. It doesn't matter who directs it because the main voice will be a board room.

oh shut upppppp

Fallout Shelter would in some ways be the most obvious setup for a movie: the self-contained story of a vault-dwelling society, interspersed with the surface adventures of random dwellers. Sounds a bit like the TV show when you put it like that, which is why there's only one Nolan for the job: Christopher! Yes, fresh off Oppenheimer it is time for Oppenheimer 2, focusing on the aftermath of all-out nuclear war (hell, Cillian Murphy can even have a cameo as a brain in a jar, I'm that generous). Moody, intense, riven with twists you didn't see coming, and with all special effects done for realsies, this movie could only ever be rad. The only downside is that, like the TV show Silo, you'd spend an awful lot of time indoors.

absolutely fucking not. the thing about Nolan is that his shit is so meticulous, it like.... pitches past hyper-realism and lands in this weird uncanny valley of "he wouldn't fucking say that" but it's for a character you've only known for ten minutes.

FO: Shelter is about emergent storytelling that feels almost accidental rather than arranged or scripted. you need someone who is hands-off the script but can capture a.... good moment..............

oh god, it's JJ Abrams, isn't it? god dammit. or, frankly? Spielberg. so I'm saying no to the director i hate and offering instead two other directors i dislike, but for different reasons.

yeah. yep. that's what i'm doing.

SPITTAKE

As an MMO that takes many aspects of the Fallout universe to the extreme, it feels a movie version of Fallout 76 would be akin to a huge-budget, climatic MCU movie where it really helps if you've had previous with the series to get most enjoyment. As such, I feel the Russo brothers would take the reigns for Fallout 76. The result would be a jack-of-all-trades action-adventure that borrows bits of every previous Fallout to make something that appeals to a lot of people but, after watching, doesn't go down as something you'd rewatch for most all of them. Big, bright, wacky and action-filled, there's no doubting though that you get a spectacle and fun, though. Watch in two sittings over two nights (as the movie's runtime is 3 hours 47 minutes).

no. fuck you. i reject your premise. the Fallout game that shipped with no NPCs and expected the story to be entirely conveyed by set-pieces, environmental design, and audiologs?

resurrect Tarkovsky and give us FO76, desolate and beautiful with environmental shots that last seven minutes without a cut. because the only good thing about FO76 is the setting, the amount of effort put into building the actual space, so I want 90 minutes of film and seven pages of script.

Russo Brothers, get tf out of here

[mi-rae07]

Jung Wooyoung : As Good As You Were (Part 3/4)

Pairing : Jung Woo-Young (Ateez) and named character (Shin Naeun)

__________________________

Wooyoung was now helping the workers wheel naeun to the ICU, a doctor emerging from a room as she looked at naeun worriedly before muttering

??? : naeun.

Wooyoung looked at the unknown doctor in part shock as he asked

Wooyoung : how do you know my wife?

??? : she's my patient.

Wooyoung paused on his tracks as naeun was wheeled into the room, the nurses shutting the ICU doors in wooyoung's face as he let out a shaky breath. He felt tears in his eyes as he fell back against a nearby chair, his hands shaking in fear and worry. Her patient? Patient for what? Why hadn't naeun told wooyoung anything about this?

Wooyoung hoped it was just a minor inconvenience that could be solved quickly so they could go back to normal. It had to, right? The world couldn't be so cruel to wooyoung so as to take naeun away from him?

___________________________

The world was cruel after all.

??? : your wife has brain tumor, and it was already too late to be removed completely from her brain by the time we figured it out. That was probably why she didn't want to tell you, there was nothing anyone could do except wallow in their own despair from this news. Naeun-shi has maybe, another month or so left to live. After that the tumor would affect her brain activity, and that in turn will inevitably lead to death. I am so sorry, sir.

Wooyoung stared at naeun who was now sleeping on the hospital bed, an IV attatched to her wrist as the heart monitor beeped in regular intervals of time. Her heart, that beep, wooyoung couldn't believe it would last only for a month now. And naeun had known, she'd known all of this and she hadn't told him. He had dreamed of an entire life with her and now, now it was all gone.

Wooyoung still had tears streaming down his eyes, he just couldn't bother enough to wipe it away. He felt naeun shuffling against the sheets as she slowly opened her eyes, looking up at wooyoung as she whispered groggily

Naeun : w-woo?

Wooyoung : I hate you, you know that? I hate you so much I wish-I wish I could burn the entire world down.

Naeun looked around the room as her eyes widened, finally getting what had happened as she quickly sat up on the bed. Wooyoung sniffled, his shoulders trembling as he asked

Wooyoung : when did you know?

Naeun : wooyoung please-

Wooyoung : no more lies, naeun.

Naeun : the day before we went on that trip.

Wooyoung's face contorted as he tried his best to not let out a sob, shaking his head as he asked

Wooyoung : is that why you rushed the trip? And…and momo, that was…is that why you wanted to take her home so bad?

Naeun lowered her eyes as she felt the tears well up in them before saying shakily

Naeun : you said you wanted a family with me, and kids I cannot give you. So I thought-

Wooyoung : naeun do you think that a cat, or even a mere-a mere child can replace what you are to me? The…part that you hold in my life?

Naeun : wooyoung I have no choice.

Wooyoung : this is all my fault, I should've known-

Wooyoung cut himself off with a sob as he rested his forehead against naeun's lap. She could do nothing but cry in silence as wooyoung said

Wooyoung : all that while in the-in the trip I was doing everything with you thinking we could do this again one day when we…when we got older. And you, you were doing it all knowing it would be your last.

Naeun shut her eyes tightly as wooyoung cried against her lap desperately, shaking his head as he said

Wooyoung : you never should've married me, you should've married someone who could've treated you with love and care from the very beginning. Not four months before you…god!

Naeun : wooyoung don't say that, you've made me happy-

Wooyoung : happy for what, 3 months? After you spent 3 years being alone despite having a husband, despite having saved my family? I should be the one dying! I should've been the one on that bed not you! You've done nothing wrong-

Wooyoung cut himself off as the door opened, revealing wooyoung's mom with tears in her eyes as she said

Mrs jung : naeun-ah.

Naeun : e-eomma.

Wooyoung quickly stood up as he walked past his mother, heading out the room as he heard naeun call his name out. But he didn't respond back, how could he? How could he when his entire world was being taken away from him only a few months after he'd gotten it.

How could he when he never treated her right and now she was dying, and they had too less time.

__________________________

Wonjeong knew her son, she knew he would never forgive himself for this. Especially after what naeun had told him, that wooyoung had finally started treating her right. She knew this would happen someday, she just didn't think it would be too soon.

Wonjeong was now walking through the hospital gardens, hoping to find wooyoung somewhere. And soon she heard the desperate cries and wails of a man, knowing it was her son's as she walked towards it. She saw wooyoung crouched down on the grass, his head on his hands and his cries filling the garden. It hurt her soul, hearing her son cry like this.

Wonjeong : wooyoung-ah.

Wooyoung turned to look at his mother, his face red and damp with all the tears. He looked horrible, god wonjeong wished she could help her son.

Wooyoung : e-eomma. Eomma naeun she-she said she's going to leave me.

Wooyoung let out a sob as wonjeong shook her head, rushing up to wooyoung before hugging him. Wooyoung cried against her shoulder, wonjeong feeling her eyes tear up at how hurt wooyoung sounded. He'd never cried like this, not even when his father had forbidden him to continue his dreams.

His life had always been so unfair.

Wooyoung : this is all my fault eomma, it is all my fault I'm so sorry. I should've listened, I should've loved her when I could. And now…now I can't.

Wooyoung weeped harder against his mother's shoulder as he remembered what she'd told him months ago.

"One day, you'll lose her and you'll regret everything. And then you'll come to me, crying and begging for the forgiveness that is not mine to give"

Wooyoung shut his eyes tightly as his mother said

Wonjeong : sometimes life is unfair to us, wooyoung-ah. Naeun might…she might have to go soon but she'll never leave you, son. She loves you, even after she's gone she'll stay in your heart and your memories, forever.

Wooyoung : I don't want a life without her, eomma. I…I don't know how I could live without her.

Wonjeong closed her eyes, her owns tears sliding past her cheeks as she whispered

Wonjeong : you'll have to learn, my son.

___________________________

Naeun had been sitting against the hospital bed for some time now, wooyoung's mother already having said her goodbyes for the night. And yet wooyoung was nowhere to be found. She was just about to get up from her bed when the door opened, a drenched wooyoung stepping inside the room as naeun's eyes widened

Naeun : were you out in the rain?

Wooyoung said nothing as he closed the door behind him, sitting on the chair beside naeun as she said

Naeun : god, I'll go grab a towel for you. You're going to catch a cold otherwise.

Naeun quickly got off the bed before finding a towel nearby and going up to wooyoung, wiping his wet hair hastily as wooyoung whispered

Wooyoung : would this be the first and last time you ever dry my hair, naeun?

Naeun closed her eyes as she removed the towel from his hair, throwing it on the bed before saying

Naeun : wooyoung, we still have a month left.

Wooyoung scoffed as he said

Wooyoung : a month, 30 days? I wanted 30 years with you, naeun, not 30 fucking days.

Naeun : I'm sorry.

Wooyoung : what if I die with you?

Naeun's heart froze at those words

Naeun : what?

Wooyoung : what if I kill myself the day you die, hmm? Then we can be together again-

Wooyoung cut himself off as naeun slapped him, his head tilting to the side as she said in a shaky voice

Naeun : don't you dare. For all that you have done in the past I have forgiven you, wooyoung. But if you do this, then I will never forgive you. In this world, or the next, if you do anything to harm yourself after I'm gone, I'll never forgive you.

Wooyoung closed his eyes, lowering his head as he said nothing to that. Naeun stared at wooyoung for a while, not knowing what to say either. Then she held his cheeks, lifting his head up to face hers as she said

Naeun : I love you, wooyoung, I love you so much I cannot imagine if something would happen to you even after I'm gone. I can't bear the thought of you being hurt-

Wooyoung : and yet I have to see you hurt, see you die, see all my dreams with you get destroyed within barely a month. If you cannot bear the thought of seeing me hurt…

Wooyoung looked up at naeun with his teary eyes, the look on his face making naeun want to do anything to live, anything to stay. But she knew she couldn't. tears streamed down wooyoung's cheek as he said in an utterly broken voice

Wooyoung : then how can I see you die, naeun.

____________________

Wooyoung was now driving back to their penthouse with naeun just staring at him from the passenger's, not having said a word after they entered the car. Wooyoung had woke up today pretending as if yesterday hadn't happened. The doctors had told them there was nothing they could do so it would be better if naeun got discharged and spent the last few weeks of her life doing things she wanted to do. Wooyoung had just signed the papers and gotten naeun to leave.

He had smiled at her, smiled as if she wasn't sick and going to die. Naeun couldn't say that she didn't like it, it felt better when wooyoung didn't treat her as a patient.

Wooyoung : we're going to the beach today after this. So once we reach home and have breakfast, we'll go there.

Naeun : okay.

Wooyoung turned to look at naeun due to the one word answer as he asked

Wooyoung : why, do you not want to go?

Naeun : no no. Of course I do, anywhere I go with you is fine for me.

Wooyoung smiled as he turned back to face the road, one of his free hand coming up to coil around naeun's as she smiled, holding her husband's hand with both of hers. She liked this, and she wanted to feel this as much as possible. It could be her last time feeling it after all.

______________________________

Naeun was now smiling as she felt the waves crash against her feet, the sky above her slightly cloudy and not too sunny. Perfect for a beach date. Wooyoung was just watching her from the side, a smile on his face as naeun picked up water with her hands and threw it up.

She looked so beautiful, wooyoung had thought, and so he'd taken a million pictures of her within the past few minutes, the wind blowing her hair back and the light making her skin glow. She looked like an angel, the kind that made you forget about all your sins.

And then wooyoung remembered, it had been his passion to take photos, and yet he'd taken none of his wives. He had taken a lot when they'd gone out for the trip but now he was going to take it every time naeun did something, special or not.

Naeun : young-ah! Aren't you coming!

Wooyoung smiled and nodded before putting the phone back in his pocket, walking up to naeun as she held his hands before dragging him into the water as well. Wooyoung grimaced as he felt the waves crash against his feet, filling it with mud instantly.

Naeun : isn't it so much fun!

Wooyoung : ew, the sand's making me feel kinda thrown off.

Naeun : really?

Wooyoung : mhmm.

Naeun let out a mischievous smile as she suddenly threw beach water at wooyoung's face, making him scream as she ran away from him as fast as she could.

Wooyoung : MY FLAWLESS SKIN NO!

Naeun laughed as wooyoung started running after her, the water splashing against their feets as he caught up to her and picked her up. Naeun squealed as wooyoung rubbed his nose against her, smearing the beach water on her face as well as naeun rolled her eyes before saying

Naeun : you're stupid.

Wooyoung : but you love this stupid man.

Naeun giggled as she leaned forward, kissing wooyoung as she rested her palm against his damp cheek. And to the onlookers they looked like the most carefree couple ever, not a single problem plaguing their relationship.

Only they knew that this was another one of their lasts too.

_______________________________

A week later :

Naeun was now sitting with her head rested against the penthouse glass window that overlooked the city below them, wooyoung humming some music as he cooked dinner for them a few meters away from naeun. This entire week they had spent going around Seoul, even having gone to Jeju for a few days as a trip. Naeun had only ever visited that place for office deals, but wooyoung had shown her around the entire place within the span of 5 days, and he had booked another trip to Daegu for day after.

Naeun's eyes widened as a raindrop fell against the window, followed by another raindrop as the city soon disappeared under her due to the rain. She stood up from her seat, an excited smile on her face as she called out to wooyoung

Naeun : woo!

Wooyoung : yes I know it's raining. And momo get off the damned counter, you brat!

Naeun giggled as she said

Naeun : I'm going to the balcony.

Wooyoung : what!

Naeun didn't wait for a response as she rushed towards the nearby balcony, stepping outside as the cold rain suddenly hit her, drenching her hair and clothes. Naeun smiled as she closed her eyes, feeling the rain on her body. She had always loved the rain, and that was because of her parents. Because they'd bring her out with them when it rained and would play some nice music, the three of them dancing until they got tired and cold. It had been decades since she'd danced in the rain with anyone, and she missed it.

Naeun opened her eyes as she heard her favorite jazz music being played from inside the penthouse, the sound loud enough for her to hear clearly despite the rain. Was she dreaming this?

Naeun looked to the door as she saw wooyoung stepping into the balcony with a smile, walking closer to naeun as he bowed before holding his hand out for her to hold

Wooyoung : may I have this dance with you, my lady?

Naeun chuckled in disbelief, holding wooyoung's hand as she said

Naeun : but you hate the rain.

Wooyoung : but you love it, and I love you.

Naeun smiled as wooyoung stepped backward before stepping back in, holding his palm against naeun's as he walked in a circle around naeun who giggled before asking

Naeun : you know how to dance?

Wooyoung : I am a man of many talents, mrs shin.

Naeun giggled as wooyoung twirled her around, holding her by the waist right after before bringing her close again, their bodies following the romantic rhythm of the music.

Naeun : how did you know I liked this song?

Wooyoung : I heard you listening to it a year ago. And, you had this specifically be played at our wedding. This was the song we danced to on our wedding for the first time, remember?

Naeun remembered, and for them to be doing this again for the last time, the rain pouring down on them, naeun wouldn't have given this up for the world.

Wooyoung : I never told you then, but I thought you looked beautiful in that wedding dress.

Naeun felt tears prick her eyes as wooyoung twirled her around again, bringing them farther away from each other as naeun quickly blinked her tears away. As the music got faster wooyoung brought her closer to him again, whispering to her

Wooyoung : I wish we could do that all over again, marry each other again, so I could treat you as the bride you deserved to be treated as.

Naeun closed her eyes in pain as wooyoung lifted her up, spinning her around in his arms just the way he had done at their wedding 3 years ago. Except now he was looking up at her with love, so much love that it made naeun's heart well up in joy and pain. Joy of having found someone like him, and pain of having to leave someone like him behind.

The music slowly faded as wooyoung brought her slightly down, still looking up at her as he whispered

Wooyoung : let me do what I should've done years ago.

Naeun closed her eyes as wooyoung kissed her, their tears mixing with each other and the rain as naeun wrapped her arms around wooyoung's neck. And they soon felt desperation and need take over them, wooyoung carrying naeun to their bedroom as her hands worked on wooyoung's shirt buttons to remove them hastily.

And just like that, as the rain drops fell against the frosted glass windows of the couple's penthouse, their bodies joined to become one. As it was meant to be.

_______________________________

A week later :

Naeun was now playing around with momo as wooyoung set up the picnic mat at the park, the puppy running to get the ball naeun had just thrown before rushing back to her with it in momo's mouth as she chuckled and patted her head.

Wooyoung eyed them as he said

Wooyoung : she seems to like you. Whenever I come close to her she just bites me.

Naeun giggled as she picked momo up, her licking naeun's face making wooyoung rolled his eyes before saying

Wooyoung : only I'm allowed to do that though.

Naeun gasped as she whacked wooyoung's arm, making him giggle as he finally sat on the mat before putting out all the food for lunch in front of him. Naeun hummed as she sat beside him, momo cuddled up in her arms as she said

Naeun : ooh it looks very yummy.

Wooyoung : yes obviously, I made it after all.

Naeun : it suddenly looks very disgusting.

Wooyoung : okay then don't eat.

Naeun : actually nevermind I'll have it cuz you made it and I love you.

Wooyoung : totally not cuz it's delicious.

Naeun : definitely not.

Wooyoung smiled as he picked up a piece of sushi before feeding it to naeun, her humming as she mumbled

Naeun : heavenly.

Wooyoung : thank you, finally the appreciation I deserve!

Naeun giggled as momo opened her mouth as well, staring at wooyoung with eyes that said 'feed me too' as he sighed and gave the puppy a sushi as well. She seemed to like it as much as naeun.

Naeun let out a satisfied breath as she rested her head against wooyoung's shoulder, smiling as she patted momo before saying

Naeun : I wanted to come here one day with you and our kids.

Wooyoung pressed his lips together, naeun eyeing the family that was having another picnic a few meters away from them, the kids running around their parents as they laughed at their children's smiles.

Wooyoung : naeun-ah.

Naeun : I'm sorry I can't give that to you. If only I had more than a year left to live, I could've at least given you a child, an heir-

Wooyoung : I don't care about any of that. I'd rather not raise a child without it's mother to love them, it would be torture to have someone that keeps reminding me that if you were here, we could've brought them up together. It's either with you, or nothing darling.

Naeun smiled as she looked up at wooyoung, him kissing her forehead as he whispered

Wooyoung : you're all I need and want.

_____________________________

1 week later :

Today was naeun's last day at work, except no one other than naeun and wooyoung knew it. Naeun got sicker as days passed, and she knew that the rest of her last week in this world would have to be spent at her penthouse. And that was where she preffered to spend it, she'd rather she spent her last few days with her husband than at work.

She just wanted to feel all this one last time, this company that had been passed onto her by her parents, something that had been in her family for years. The work that accompanied her when she had no one, what helped her drown her feelings in. It had been the second most rewarding thing in her life, apart from wooyoung.

Mina : boss? You called me?

Naeun : oh, yes. I have something for you.

Mina frowned as she closed the door behind her, walking towards naeun as she stood up before handing over a bunch of keys to mina. Mina eyed it in confusion before asking

Mina : do you…do you want me to send your cars for cleaning, boss?

Naeun chuckled, shaking her head as she said

Naeun : those are the keys to a new house, a house that I have bought for you near the Han river. It'll make a beautiful home for your husband and you, and your newborn soon.

Mina's hands instinctively went to her stomach, her eyes widening as she asked

Mina : ma'am…how-how did you know?

Naeun smiled, patting mina's shoulder as she said

Naeun : consider it a gift from me for your services this past decade. And the other key, is for your new car. It's a Range Rover, I heard it was your favorite car.

Mina sobbed in gratitude as she hugged naeun, making her smile as she wrapped her arm around her secretary

Mina : thank you so much boss! I don't know…I don't know how I could repay you for all this.

Naeun : you don't have to, it's my gift mina.

Mina : you can be my son's godmother then, would you mind that? Being the first one to hold my baby after my husband and I?

Naeun bit her lips to prevent her tears, wishing she could do that. If only she lived long enough. Naeun pulled back as she smiled and said to mina

Naeun : of course. It's just that, if for some reason I am not able to attend it, would you let wooyoung be his godfather instead? Let him hold your son in my stead?

Mina : of course! I'm sure you'll be there but if by any case you aren't, then I wouldn't mind sir doing it either.

Naeun smiled and nodded, patting mina's back one last time before saying

Naeun : thank you, mina, for everything.

_________________________

Wonjeong : naeun-ah! I didn't expect you to come today. Is wooyoung not with you?

Naeun : he isn't, I just wanted to talk to you alone for some time.

Wonjeong : sure sure. Come in, the maids have made lunch. You can have that and go as well.

Naeun smiled and nodded as she stepped in, following her mother-in-law to the living room as she sat down on the sofa opposite wonjeong's.

Wonjeong : what did you want to tell me then, naeun-ah?

Naeun : it's about…wooyoung. As you know, eomma, I only have a week left to live. And after that, my company has to go to someone. And I wish for that someone to be wooyoung.

Wonjeong : oh, naeun-ah.

Naeun : I have written a will, it's in my office desk. If I told wooyoung this I know he would never let anyone take it, he finds himself unworthy to take my company as his. But it is my wish that he has it, as he is the man I love, and my husband. So after I'm gone, if you can, I want you to take the will and bring it to action. Wooyoung will only ever listen to you in this matter, eomma.

Wonjeong stood up as she sat next to naeun, taking her hand in hers as she smiled and said

Wonjeong : I will do that for you, I promise.

Naeun smiled and nodded before continuing with a shaky voice

Naeun : and um, after I'm gone, there would be no one left to really take care of wooyoung. I know it is too much to ask of you but if you could just make sure he's healthy, and happy. I just love him so much and I wish I could stay and take care of him but I can't…

Naeun trailed off as she shut her eyes, tears flowing down as wonjeong shook her head and hugged naeun. Naeun sobbed against her mother-in-law's shoulder as she said in a broken voice

Naeun : please take care of him for me eomma, please.

Wonjeong : of course I will take care of him for you, naeun-ah. I'll make sure he always remembers that you loved him, and always will even if it's not from this world.

Naeun nodded, knowing this would be the last time she'd get to hug her mother-in-law as she sniffled before whispering

Naeun : thank you so much, eomma.

Wonjeong smiled, wiping her own tears as she pulled back and held naeun's cheek before saying

Wonjeong : you're the best thing that's ever happened to my son, naeun, I hope you'll always remember that.

______________________________

[laughroditee]

Your Ghost | a COD fanfic - Part 1 - Knight of Swords

CW: this story takes place after Soap's death and contains supernatural elements, tarot, mentions of death and blood

I didn't want to make the chapters too long (I'm unsure what the proper netiquette is for word count), so it will continue in subsequent posts.

Summary: An American tarot reader finds herself inextricably linked to John MacTavish, whose ghost needs a favor from her before he can rest.

Mood Music:

The first time I knew something was wrong was a few months ago when, out of nowhere, an excruciating pain shot through my head, causing me to scream and promptly pass out.  The dreams that followed in my unconsciousness were heavy and sad: bagpipes at a funeral playing their mournful melody for a person I didn’t know.  I had been at work that day, like any other day, but when I woke up, I was in the hospital.  Doctors ran so many tests on me, thinking perhaps I’d had a brain aneurysm, but scans of my brain were clear, and subsequent tests showed that I was right as rain.  Totally healthy.  I returned to my everyday life, with the only complication being the inexplicable migraines that continued to plague me.

Then came the wanderlust.  The nasal sound of bagpipes continued to wheedle their way into my dreams, and pretty soon, I became possessed with the need to go to the UK.  It became a matter of life and death.  I didn’t even have a passport, but knew I had to go.  Where exactly, I wasn’t even sure.  Scotland would make sense, considering the bagpipes, but my gut said no.  No, that’s not right.

So I did what any good woo-woo witchy person would do: I pulled out a map of the UK and my pendulum and asked for assistance narrowing down my intended destination.  Stilling my mind, I took a deep breath, focusing on the amethyst pendulum dangling from my hand.  The crystal twitched and spun before swinging slightly right, south on the map.  I followed the pendulum south over Scotland, past Northern England, toward London, but the crystal had other ideas, sending me back north.  It spun in circles around a location: Manchester.

That’s how, months later (had to wait for my passport), I found myself at the Brittania Hotel in Manchester, in one of their “standard twin rooms without a window.”  I never really knew how much I liked windows until I didn’t have one, but that’s beside the point.  At least I got a private bathroom, a coffee maker, and a TV, so I can’t complain too much for $44 per night.  Besides, this entire trip was an exercise in insanity, so why not add in some sensory deprivation while we’re at it?

As soon as I stood on UK soil, I knew this was the right place; that intuitive nudge felt like a soothing affirmation.  And that’s a great thing because simply being up in the air triggered another migraine, and I was afraid I’d puke on the guy next to me.  After unpacking my bag in the hotel room, I flipped a card from my tarot deck: The Knight of Swords.

The Knight of Swords talks about action, as all Knight cards do.  There’s a sense of motion, movement, and moving forward inherent there, with The Knight of Swords having the connotation of almost overwhelmingly swift movement; in fact, you can interpret it as needing to take heed that you’re not leaping before you’re looking.  (What irony.)  But that’s only one part of the story as the suit of the card will tell you what’s moving.  Swords in the tarot represent the element of air, so all things related to logic, ideas, communication, words, writing, and thoughts.  Holistically, you can interpret The Knight of Swords as needing to make sure you check your words before you say things so that you become aware of any potential obstacles on this path that you’re charging down. But, ultimately, you have the clarity of mind to overcome any challenges.  Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

However, the court cards in tarot can also signify people: kings as men or masculine energy, queens as women or feminine energy, and pages as children or youthful energy.  Knights, though, are tricky.  They can symbolize people of any gender, anywhere from age twenty-five up to forty, people who move in and out of our lives, physical travel, change, or pure energy and where you’re focusing it.  It can be hard to know what the “correct” interpretation is in any given reading, with so many meanings to consider, but I usually just go with my gut or pull some more cards for context.  In this case, why not both?

Pulling two more cards from the deck, I laid them out on the bed next to the first one: Death and the Three of Swords.  Contrary to popular belief, the Death card doesn’t usually mean death or foretell of someone dying.  It means change and transformation, the end of a cycle and the beginning of a new one.  The Three of Swords features an illustration with three swords stabbing through a bleeding heart: heartbreak, but sometimes literal heart health problems.

"Wow, bad day," I said as I looked over the cards.

I suddenly felt a presence in the room that wasn’t there a minute ago, the hairs on the back of my neck and my arms standing on end.

"Ye finally made it, lass."

My head whirled around so fast that the ends of my bobbed hair stabbed me in the eye.  I shot to my feet, spilling the rest of my cards to the floor.  “Fuck!” I whined, cradling my stinging, watering eye as I stumbled backward. 

Deep, apparently very amused laughter rang out in the room, and I was astonished to see a man there, wearing some kind of military getup, a mohawk cut into his dark brown hair. Oh, and he was semi-transparent.

I backed away slowly, my hand clapped over my eye.  There is no way in Hell.  “What the fuck, are you a ghost?” 

His expression sobered as he nodded his spectral head.  “Unfortunately.”  

“What do you want?” I asked, my voice a couple of octaves higher than it would typically be.  The urge to scream was overwhelming, and he put his hands out placatingly. 

”Easy, love,” he cooed, keeping his voice as soothing as possible so as not to spook me further.  “We have a blood tie.”

“What?”  The man — ghost? ghost man? — could tell me he was king of Scotland, and I don’t think that would change my hesitation or the level of existential panic I felt at that moment.

“We’re kin,” he said with a little more force, trying to reach me through my brain-melting anxiety.  “Family.  Somewhere along the line, we share blood.  Is it so hard to imagine?  Big world like this?”

“I’m literally talking to a dead man,” I say as my inner thoughts bleed out of my mouth.  Either my imagination is amazing, or I’m having a breakdown.  Maybe there really was something wrong with my brain, and they just couldn’t find it.  Maybe the migraines were making me hallucinate.

“Evangeline!” 

That caught my attention, my blue eyes snapping to his in shocked confusion.  “How do you know my name?”

He had the audacity to sound frustrated.  “Like I said, we share a blood tie.”

"Oh, of course.  That obviously explains everything.  I’m so relieved."

He smirked.  “Yer a wisearse ye are.”

Well, he did get one thing right anyway.  “How come I don’t know your name then?”

”Because I’m dead, and ye’re not.  It’s John, by the way.  John MacTavish.”

Examining him warily, I ask, “So we’re, like, cousins or some shit, John MacTavish?”

He shrugged, pushing his long sleeves up his forearms, which is such a mind-boggling thing to think about a ghost doing — like, what’s the purpose of that? Is he too warm?  “I dunnae know exactly, lass; I just know that I was pulled to ye.  And ye answered.”  It was then that I noticed the ghostly blood on the side of his head, his presumably fatal bullet wound in the exact place where I felt my migraines.

My stomach dropped into what felt like a vat of ice.  “Oh… Oh no. I’m not a medium!  I don’t see dead people!” I desperately pleaded with him, trying to convince him he'd gotten the wrong girl. “I just sling cards; I don’t do any of that other stuff!”

”And yet, here I am.  Here ye are.”  He put his hand on his hip.

“Yes, but… Why?  Why are you here?  What do you want from me?”  Then I saw his tattoo.  With a sudden motion, I moved quickly forward — I think I actually startled him — and I bent my head down to look at his forearm.  Nested inside of laurels was a sword with wings, topped by a knight’s helm and crown.

”Knight of Swords,” I breathed, astonished.  Rushing back, I grab my card from the bed, brandishing it as I return to where he stands.  “This is you?  You did this?”

The ghost of John MacTavish looked down at me with a serious expression.  “I did.  I need yer help, Evangeline.  Yer the only one who can do it.”

Part 2

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 19 thoughts

very tired. brain empty. only mulder and scully in there

i am sat for the evening, reading the episode description. i'm curious as to if a “technology of the future” mentioned is still going to seem futuristic after 30 years have passed since it first hit TV…

(author's note: yes. we still don't have instant freeze potion. and the main takeaway from this episode is that we shouldn't have instant freeze potion)

i wasn't sure what to expect with this one, but i thought it was pretty interesting! it posed some philosophical questions i hadn't really considered in the real world re: time traveling. in the end though, it was left ambiguous as to what would really happen at the conclusion of the episode, like always, and i think there is enough going on in this universe that for my own sake and the sake of mulder and scully, i am going to assume that time travel was cancelled.

but i liked this episode- apart from the frequent needles! eugh...

we open at MIT, where a guy is running. it looks pretty late at night. 

two people are yelling about a guy named mcfarland while this older man watches. the kids are ignoring this guy telling them that the street is dangerous because they instead want to be loud and argue or whatever, idc. 

this kid in the red jacket (later revealed to be named lucas) seems like a massive douche, and when old man proclaims that he is going to die at exactly 11:46, i feel no deep sadness on the matter. this guy is trying to save your life and you’re gonna treat him like he’s trying to get money off of you??? and be mean to him????

omggg self righteous MIT kids…. yeah i’ll say it. shut tf up!

the campus security officer takes the old man away, but he tells jason not to let lucas cross the street, because he won’t see the bus coming… jason seems shocked that the old man knows his name.

see, if i were jason, i’d take this grouch of a kid and make him wait it out. maybe go to a restaurant or something. if there is one that doesn’t require crossing the street. no ma’am. i will NOT ignore a death prophecy.

lucas is shutting down jason, saying they have nothing to talk about. but the bus approaches!!!!

and sure enough, lucas drops his papers at the predicted time….. and thus concludes lucas.

the bus driver says it looks like jason pushed him in front of the bus! i didn’t see that. but okay. 

intro time woo woo woo woo woo wooooooo

(seriously, it didn’t look like jason pushed him?? am i tripping? i mean, i replayed the scene just to make sure. and it did not look like a pushing occurred)

scully is looking at the photos from the accident, and we learn that lucas was a post-doctoral fellow, which perhaps explains his intense arrogance. although i imagine that sort of thing only really happens if you were a douche BEFORE the phd. it just gets worse after it has been conferred.

OH the tea is: jason was his ACADEMIC ADVISOR!!!! and the bus driver said he pushed him!!!!

damn. can you imagine??? i’m imagining this happening to me. everyone would be shocked.

also, shocked that jason was not a fellow student because he looked to be of doctoral candidate age. but he is actually dr. jason nichols, academic advisor in addition to the other roles i'm sure he plays.

but that's not the point.

and jason wouldn’t tell the cops what they were arguing about!!! suspicious…

mulder sits next to scully on the edge of the desk and they watch jason’s alibi tape- i bet it was a pain to ship that around

(at this moment i got a text and paused to answer it and it froze on a frame of mulder looking at scully as she ponders the case and oh my gooooood. oh my gooood)

“well, he goes on to tell a pretty convincing narrative and to give a rather detailed description of the old man” “what was he wearing, a long black robe and carrying a scythe?” <- she is smirking at her own stupid joke and i love her soooo much

mulder has a pencil behind his ear…. yeah. i love him too. they’re a package deal <3

and a further plot twist: the campus security officer that picked the old man up ALSO died!!

i see that it is now boston autopsy time. and i just prepared myself a meal. okay. we must pause and eat before continuing.

mmm that was yummy.

RESUME!

there has been internal disagreement about if they should cut or saw the campus security guy's body? now what the hell does that mean 

he’s frozen!!! as if elsa got to him….

she says something was inserted in his ear, which was a thermometer. and he was found on campus.

well, boston is just like that. you don't get your dunkin one day and you freeze about it.

oooo, this officer would drink and drive on duty!!! this is not good. bad bad bad thing to do. but it was only 28 degrees last night! not cold enough for a guy to get drunk and freeze to death in such a dramatic fashion.

again. boston. it’s like that.

his body is getting colder somehow! that makes no sense.

i love when mulder asks for scully's medical opinion :) she thinks maybe he drank some chemicals!!

BLEAUGH mulder makes a joke about hoping he can keep the body frozen until thanksgiving... nasssssty 😭

this provides no answers on the jason situation. if anything, it only raises more questions. time to go ask him!!!!

jason seems to think that mulder is lying about the guy being frozen to death which is a presumptuous thing… what exactly would he gain from lying about that lmao

oh tea…. the reason the two of them were fighting that night was because lucas was going to say that jason’s research data was falsified!!! and they were competing for the same grant… for cryobiology!!!

OHHHH HE STUDIES FREEZING BODIES. this is not looking great for him.

(we also see jason's girlfriend very briefly which becomes important later. her name is lisa. i did not write it down in my original notes because i did not know she would become a major character in the episode)

scully calls while mulder is doing the questioning, and says she found jason’s thumbprint on the security guard’s uniform!!! oh man. again. not looking great for jason. but i don’t buy that the story is that straightforward.

scully is so pretty………….

cut to a hotel where a man named yonechi is trying to check in, but the receptionist is saying there is no reservation under that name!!! this is very unfortunate for dr. yonechi.

and who comes in but OLD MAN FROM BEFORE!!!!!!! he is giving yonechi a key and says he came on behalf of dr. jason nichols…..

who is this old man… and what does he want…? he looks sick!!!! 

yonechi invites old man in and he shuts the door to his hotel room…. omg something is gonna go down… 

he says he owes so much to yonechi. now what does that mean? did he use his research for something?

“you found a way to substitute water with a sugar- trehalose” (sobs in humanities) what does that MEAN???

HEY WHAT, OLD MAN PUT THAT NEEDLE AWAY. NOOOO NO AWAY. NOT INTO YONECHI. 

YONECHI IS FREEZING TO DEATH. 

(my original notes there were far less readable, just know that)

damn, that prop of frozen yonechi is crazy. scully is investigating and i’m contemplating how it was made!!!

she notices the injection mark… and mulder says he was at the hotel with a man in his 70’s when he arrived!!! the mythical old man that jason has spoken of proves to be real!

scully is showing mulder “a nuclear magnetic resident spectra” (YESSSS TALK THAT SCIENCE SCULLY 🔥 IDK WTF IT MEANS) 

yonechi was injected with… something. scully strongly suspects jason (AKA dr. nichols) did the killing, but mulder wants to talk to someone else….

the girlfriend, lisa!!! jason’s dating someone from his lab!!!??? that feels weird. is that unethical? is she his employee? hm.

scully shows her the nuclear magnetic resident spectra and she grows quiet. yeahhh they're onto youuuu!

“lisa, you can tell us now, or we can subpoena your testimony in court” <- DAMN scully said you will NOT be hiding evidence from me!

STOP SAYING SCIENCE WORDS I DON'T GET IT

okay, so the stuff that was shot in yonechi: it’s a rapid freezing agent. i get that. jason thinks that if you do it fast enough, you can unthaw whatever you freeze better. but he hasn’t been able to test it because it doesn’t exist yet!!! 

well. i think something changed.

oooooo look at the virtual chemical… so high tech… watch it rotate… yeah, baby that’s the stuff.

it would be impossible for him to engineer the non-existent chemical synthetically… BUT SOMEONE CLEARLY DID because they found it in that guy!!!

but!!!! lisa reveals that yonechi might not be dead!!! so they put him in a tub of slime and then try to revive him

scully announces that this will not work, because his body temperature was at 8 degrees, and the lowest body temperature a human ever survived was 70. i love that she knows that. it warms my heart. even if it doesn't warm dr. yonechi's.

blehhh, they put some stuff in his chest and then bring out the shocky machine…. and he starts to come back!!!! omg???

but he starts to fight the machine (what does that mean??), and his temperature gets WAYYYY too high, and he’s gasping and screaming and i feel myself growing faint….

(god that scene was NOT fun to watch. it was actually straight up horrible)

AND THEN HE CATCHES ON FIRE???????

wait, is this the episode where we get that one line…..

(sadly this was not the episode with the spontaneous combustion line i have seen in screenshots💔)

the only guess they have as to wtf made yonechi burn up is that whatever it was that was used to freeze him provoked an opposite reaction when they thawed him out

rip dr. yonechi :(

lisa goes to talk to jason…… what does he know!!!!!

old man is on the bus next to her. RUN GIRL. SPRINT. use your youth as an advantage. he’s going after her and i’m wondering how tf he knew that other guy was going to die?????

NO DON’T STOP TO LOOK AT TIE DYED SHIRTS. ahh she is seeing him follow her in the mirrors and not just merely shopping... very clever

lisa goes up a bunch of stairs, which is arguably the best move to escape an old man, but he is still pretty fast. 

she confronts him… and he says HE CAN KILL HER, TOO!!!

bro... i know grant money is hard to come by, but COME ON!! 

he busts out the freezy needle and says he came here to kill her… but he walks away. who tf is this guy??????

he bruised tf out of her arm when he grabbed her!!! rude!!!!

scully once again reminds lisa to STOP HIDING SHIT and she confesses to FALSIFYING THE DATA TO GET THE GRANT!!!! OHHH GIRL!!!!! this is not good. and jason is covering for her. 

and the people who could have figured that she did that out are now dead!!!

HOW BIG IS THIS FUCKING GRANT, BRO???

she swears that she doesn’t know the old guy and that jason wouldn’t either, but scully comes at her with “if he would lie for you, what makes you think he wouldn’t lie to you?” <- ohhh she ate her up there 

mulder does his thing where he says “scully?” and tilts his head a little, which means "we need to talk about this out of earshot of the person we're questioning" and i love it very much

ohhh, someone thinks they’ve spotted the old man!!!

(really hate that composite drawing of him they’re using as reference)

woahh, that shot descended from the ceiling as they arrived to his hotel room… it was really cool. but he is not here!!

“i’m not sure if ‘living’ is the word i’d use on this place” <- after that other line last episode i just KNOW she needs to be comfy and cozy, which i respect immensely. get scully a blanket right away. i need her in a mountain of pillows. STAT.

she finds yonechi’s flight written down in a notepad, and mulder finds a picture of yonechi, lisa, and jason!! they must have had an ice science groupchat or something

mulder seems to think this is a photo from the future??? and that if lucas hadn’t gotten hit by that bus, jason’s research being falsified would be exposed and he’d never get to work with dr. yonechi.

of course, this is baffling. and i have to rewatch the scene to get a better understanding on what he is saying

she has had enough of his shenanigans “and if your sister is your aunt and your mother married your uncle, you’d be your own grandpa” <- LMAO she said you NEED to start making sense!!

“okay, so this photo that was never taken, when was it never taken?” <- BAHAHA this has been added to my mental list of top scully one liners

he says it was taken at least 5 years in the future when the mystery substance was synthesized in the future…. and the old man came back from the future to fix the past!!

well. time travel isn’t something we have entertained on here before. so that’s new. not sure how i feel about it when there is already so much going on in this universe.

HE SAYS THE OLD MAN *IS* JASON?? and that is how he knew all of the things!!!

i guess it does make sense… if you think time travel could exist…

(she looks at him with great skepticism) “although common sense may rule out the possibility of time travel, the laws of quantum physics certainly do not. in case you forgot, that’s from your graduate thesis” <- she looks annoyed at this LMAOOOOOOOOOOO 

if someone quoted my thesis back to me in an argument we’d have to start kissing sloppy style right then and there.

so wait this complicates things. she did a graduate degree AND an MD?? bro, how many degrees was she collecting!!!!! how long did it take!!! HOW OLD IS SHE??? how can all of his have been accomplished??? 

you don’t write a thesis for an MD, and even if you did it wouldn’t be in physics… maybe she did like a 4+1 program? she was speedrunning grad school? can someone who knows what her degree history looks like PLEASE explain this to me.

ohhhh and she argues right back… “the limits of human endurance would prevent such a trip from ever happening” get his ass!!

(he can quote her thesis but not remember her birthday… what is with this man??)

he says to show the picture to lisa and ask where it was taken, which i suppose would answer that question as long as she doesn't frequently have people take her pictures, in which case it might be hard to recall

old man seems very sick as he stumbles back to his spartan hotel room…. perhaps time travel makes you ill? and that is the limit of human endurance she has described??

OAUGHHHHH HE IS INJECTING HIMSELF WITH SOMETHING OKAY HELLO. I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING.

it seems to make him feel better. it makes me feel worse. but i suppose that is irrelevant.

gag gag gag gag. so he keeps internally freezing himself to feel better?

lisa comes in and asks “jason?” <- OHHH SHE CLOCKED HIM!!!! he says she made it possible!!!!

is this how we explore the multiverse in this world??? never thought we'd see the day. i mean, i guess weirder plot points have gone on than there being an x files multiverse, but i thought we had enough to deal with just on this planet, what with the murderers and ghosts and ghouls and all that

jason says she’ll meet a guy in ten years that has discovered “tachyons” (which is a real word, i assume, because my autocorrect fixed it for me) which are particles that can go back in time!!! but only for a few seconds and only at a temperature of absolute 0. 

the temperature thing seems very specific.

and then she’ll realize…. 

and he came back to kill her but couldn’t do it!!!! her hand is in his hand...

OH HE LIED!!! HE GOT HER!!!!!!!!! lisa is now FROZEN!!

while that is deeply sad, i am kinda glad he prevented time travel from happening in this universe. that would be a little too much.

mulder arranged for (young) jason’s bail to go show him lisa at the lab, and he straight up says right there that the old man they’re looking for is him. which had to be hard to hear

jason is being a dick as mulder tries to explain what happened…. he proposes that maybe his compound would allow for time travel by making people very cold and allow them to survive the temperatures of a wormhole. sure. i don't know enough about wormholes to dispute that.

jason seems to sober up a bit when he realizes that what happened to lisa is his fault in a sort of cosmic way, and not even mulder can come up with a witty response to that 

ooooooh, jason had to use a fingerprint scanner thingy to get into the lab, and it said he was already there!! a showdown of the jasons!!!!

mulder says please get to scully NOW as they’re trying to revive lisa and blehhh more needles stop with needles no needles please i ask so politely. scully is watching this go down and ordering her to put lisa back in the slime tub now!!!

scully you are so pretty…….

mulder is off to track down old jason, and i wonder if showing his FBI badge would really get him into all sorts of places such as this one, or if anyone would wonder if he was lying. anyway, the research assistant says that no one has come in. 

breaking lisa news: THEY RESUSCITATED HER!!! but jason wasn’t there!!!!

oh it really is jason vs jason time… who will win? the younger, inexperienced, but more sprightly jason? or the older and wiser jason with the weapon of freezing???

in the computer, all the files about jason were erased!!!! he is really trying to destroy his own work. mulder is running running running…

but young jason has found old jason! who is frantically typing. 

older jason's explanation of a world with time travel does sound pretty fucked up. but then young jason is beating up older jason trying to get lisa back. mulder arrives to say lisa is actually okay, and older jason stabs younger jason!!!

while mulder is trying to break through, the two jasons…. CATCH ON FIRE!!!

damn. mulder probably did not like to see that. i still consider his fear of fire canon. because i like it. i think it’s interesting.

scully is explaining to lisa, who is on a stretcher, how they saved her

scully is so sweet trying to explain she doesn’t know what was going on….. and has to tell lisa that jason is dead, and she is very sorry, but she’ll see her in the hospital 

mulder arrives!! he says they won’t find the second corpse- i guess that makes sense. if you die, i guess your alternate timeline self has to go with it.

oh my goodness, he's quoting her thesis again: “although multidimensionality suggests infinite outcomes in an infinite number of universes, each universe can produce only one outcome”

HE MEMORIZED THAT SHIT???

“i was 23 when i wrote that” oh my GOD SHE REALLY WAS SPEEDRUNNING DEGREES HUH???

so she must have done either a 4+1 or graduated undergrad in 3 years, 2 years for a masters, and then (insert however many years it takes to get an MD here)

no wonder she is so smart... damn, i love her.

so what implications does her proclamation on each universe having but one solution have?? will his compound and time travel eventually be discovered as scully’s thesis seems to predict??

cut to lisa at the computer… and thus ends our tale.

NOW WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.

so do we get time travel or not???

i actually liked this episode!! not the needles. but it was a super interesting concept and proved why we should probably not have time travel. something i already believed and now find myself agreeing with even harder.

it's kinda rare that i like an episode based off of its content rather than just the mulder-scully time the situation creates, so i'll give credit where credit is due.

i like to see scully be a smartass so this was a good day for me. AND that he has so much of her thesis MEMORIZED??? word for word???!! that is AMAZING. it really is like that though- sometimes you can quote a person's thesis rewriting einstein, but you cannot remember their birthday.

and maybe it was implied before, but i'm so happy to learn that scully got her masters when she was 23, and THEN went on to med school. that is the sort of information a fan like me needs to know to properly analyze a character, and it is fascinating! so she probably graduated early- either in undergrad or high school. and she got her masters in physics, right?! or something along those lines??

we forget how fucking smart she is because the narrative is skewed in mulder's favor with the whole "werewolves are real in this world" thing, but goddamn. she is really a genius who can tell you exactly how someone is dying and fix it, OR administer the death herself via her sharpshooting skills, AND gets stuck dealing with the bestie babble alien nonsense while she tries to figure out how to rationalize all of the universe's inexplicable phenomena through the lens of a scientist. AND she paid attention in catechism.

is she not one of THE best characters of all time???

[vuliyshenanigans]

Sten'auga, a troll from my Pathfinder setting played by my partner. She's a druid with a boar companion. She's trying very hard to prove herself cool and mysterious and wise.

So far she has: - Yelled at everyone over the landshark being fat. - Begrudgingly accepted that the landshark is fat because she's spoiled, which she has damn well earned. The bandit gang got her from a black market auction where she was treated horribly. - Called the horse-boy a fantasy slur to his face. He kicked her so hard that she nearly died on the spot. - Winged making a familiar then proceeded to follow it on a wild goose chase for at least an hour in the middle of the night, trying to find the OTHER familiar that snooped around the party's tent. It took a trip around camp to figure out that the 'familiar' she made mostly wanted to eat stuff, call it a day, then pass on like a spent tissue. - Created a one-sided rivalry with the catfolk chef regarding his ability to cook good food. He knows his food is good. Her angerly downing 3 bowls of his lasagna was more than enough proof. - Tricked the goblin doctor into thinking the woman that ran into the dungeon and died didn't actually die (her body got taken over by isekai-thaumaturge) but is now going by a different name and doesn't know shit about the world. She might have died for a little bit actually. But she got better. The goblin doesn't know how magic works and has just accepted that whatever the druid says must be true. - Lost a battle of dominance where Tamayo wanted to give her and Igis (the thaumaturge) some sweets for helping her chase away those pesky fox spirits. Auga ended up accepting the sweets, thus submitting to grandmama Tamayo's might as the resident old wise woman. - Attempted to woo the horse man. He has yet to swoon. Surely if she keeps acting aloof and cool he will swoon eventually.

[manawari]

Man. . . Or a monster?

Sung Jin-woo believed he was cursed.

When he was born, the doctors had freaked out because his cells were different from what they were supposed to be. They said that several of his cells were black. Frightened, Kyung-hye held her son close to her chest and pleaded for the doctors to not take her child away from her if they wished to study him. The doctors respected her wish and hoped that everything would turn out fine, especially for her baby.

. . . But it did not.

As Jin-woo grew, he had these. . . Powers. Black smoke, or aura, always overflowed from his hands and other times his eyes would glow purple in the middle of darkness, but returned to their original color when there was light. Kyung-hye and Ill-hwang even caught his shadow moving by itself when he was immobile. Their son's inhumane condition worried them terribly. Jin-woo had to stay indoors and was forbidden to play with other kids and must stay close to his parents. They had to explain everything to their son to make him understand and little three-year-old Jin-woo nodded, already knowing that it was for his own good.

Countless of supposed childhood moments were torn away from him.

Jin-woo found joy through the stories his father told him after coming back from raiding a dungeon, his own toys, and spent time with his parents to fill the gaps in his heart. Then, he would lean on the window of his room to stare at the clouds, wondering what it could've been if he was 'normal' and his parents wouldn't have to worry about anything.

When his sister was born, Jin-woo was happy. He was no longer alone. He finally got someone to play with and look after. So when Kyung-hye got home from the hospital and hunkered down to her son's height, Jin-woo had the brightest smile on his face as he made his way closer, he reached his hand out to touch Jin-ah's cheek, but then—

She cried.

Jin-woo flinched and instantly took a step back. He looked over to his hand and he saw his shadowy aura flushing out from his palm. He turned back to his sister, who was now being comforted by Kyung-hye. Ill-hwang rubbed his back and reassured him that it was not his fault, though Jin-woo utterly felt like he was responsible for his sister's frightened tears. . . He blamed himself.

He tried not to approach his sister no matter how badly he wanted to. He wanted to hold her the same way his parents did. He wanted to make her laugh just like any big brother would. In the end, it was only up to Jin-ah to go to him and it took every ounce of his willpower to keep his hands to himself, in fear that he might hurt her if he lay even a tip of his finger.

"Here, wear these, son." Ill-hwang handed him a pair of black leather gloves. "I asked a mage I know to make these for you. They are enchanted with a very strong mana to shield your shadows."

Jin-woo took the gloves and tugged them to his wrist. His eyes widened. His hands, which always radiated darkness, were now gone. For the first time in his life, his joy was beyond everything he had ever felt, he no longer had the fear of hurting his sister and that he could now play with her.

"Jin-ah!" Jin-woo called his sister and crouched down on his knees and extended his arms out. "Come here!"

Kyung-hye had an awaiting hand in case her daughter trip on her feet. Jin-ah toddled with her small arms sprawled out as she made her way toward her brother, her mouth was stretched into a broad smile that showed bits of her teeth, but due to her excitement, she had gone off balance.

Jin-woo caught her just in time.

Jin-ah giggled and raised her hands on the boy who was holding her. "Oppa!"

Ill-hwang looked at his wife, whose eyes were glistening with tears. He went over her and pulled her to his chest, allowing her to sniffle while wrapping her arms around him. Kyung-hye kissed his cheek in gratitude for giving such a wonderful gift to their son.

Jin-woo and Jin-ah had become inseparable. They would play around in the house and Jin-woo would be the one to tuck his sister to bed. His days grew happier. Even though he hadn't gotten the kind of childhood most kids would have, Jin-woo was content that he was able to live without being afraid of his powers and act like he didn't have one at all.

He tried to ignore it. He tried to be a normal boy and resisted every affect it did to him for neglecting the overwhelming sensations in his veins.

And that was until something happened.

A piercing scream made Ill-hwang and Kyung-hye burst out their bedroom and frantically opened their son's room. In there, Jin-woo was standing on his bed, panic-stricken written over his face as tears incessantly flushed down from his eyes, and his hands had gone bare. On the other side of his room was an accumulation of shadows moving in a circle. Ominous sounds of wind whispered from the darkness.

Ill-hwang immediately rushed toward his son and gathered him in his arms while Kyung-hye picked up the discarded gloves from the floor to put them back in Jin-woo's hands. The magic of the fabric kicked in and the large shadow disappeared. Ill-hwang sighed, and all that was left was his child's aching cry as he gripped on his shirt.

"I didn't take them off on purpose! My hands were getting itchy and I couldn't sleep!" Jin-woo sobbed. "I'm so sorry, dad!"

"Shhh. . . " Ill-hwang brushed his son's hair with his hand and wiped away the tears streaming on Jin-woo's cheeks. "It's okay, son. Your mother and I forgive you. You just lost control and we will figure it out, okay?"

"We love you, sweetie," Kyung-hye whispered and planted a kiss on his forehead. "So much."

Jin-woo learned two things: his mother said the truth and his father lied.

They didn't figure it out. Jin-woo remained under his roof and had ended up being homeschooled via virtual call with his tutor to keep him safe from the outside world and that he would not be harmed by the obstacles. He was hidden from the true reality and was forced to live in his version of reality. Secluded, succumbed with fear, and endured his powers— no, curse.

Jin-woo was cursed since the day he was born and if he was staying true to himself, not even the affection from his parents or even his sister were enough to reassure him that he was not worthless.

He cried himself to sleep once.

However, he could not help but feel like someone was comforting him in the middle of his darkened room. It was almost as if it was the shadows that were soothing him. Their touch was cold like the breezy air and they were whispering words he could not discern, rather it seemed they were just ghosts, but deep inside of his heart, he understood.

Could he be a child born out of darkness?

Was he truly even a human?

Jin-woo hated his curse so much that he didn't realize he had become one. He was a shadow of the outside world. Time moved in silence for him, like yesterday he was that young boy struggling to grasp on the threads of his children, but now, he grew into his teenage years nary a single memory of being with his peers to cherish.

Jin-ah always entertained the dinner table with her stories that had happened in her school. She rambled on doing various of fun activities with her friends and her upcoming plans with them. Jin-woo could only listen, as he couldn't relate and didn't have stories of his own to share to his family. He maintained a neutral expression and forced a smile to mask his pain at the fact that he never got to have a life as happy as Jin-ah's.

In this world, humans could awaken as hunters to fight in dungeons. They were known as heroes of humanity who protected the innocents from monsters who were lurking behind the gates. So when Jin-woo got his awakening. . . That was how his life took the biggest twist.

"Jin-ah! Did you pack all of your things? Here, give me your uniform. I'll iron them so they'll be good as new tomorrow."

"Okay, mom!"

"Be sure to stay safe out there, okay? If something bad happens on the field trip, run away from it as much as you can and stay with the adults."

"I'm not a baby anymore, mom. I know what I should do or what I should not do."

"I know. But I am your mother, and I will never stop worrying about you—"

*clatter*

Kyung-hye and Jin-ah both whipped their heads and saw pieces of shattered plates and thrown tablespoons across the grown. They gasped. Jin-woo had his knees on the ground and his hands were clutching on his hair, gritting his teeth to conceal his voice, his whole body was quivering while a purple aura surrounded him, and shadows were crumpling beneath him.

"Jin-woo!"

"Oppa!"

The mother and daughter rushed toward him, but Jin-woo held out his gloved hand to stop them. He grunted.

"No. . . D— don't— don't come any closer!" He let out, shutting his eyes in pain. "Please! Get. . . Get out of here!"

"Oppa, what is happening?" Jin-ah clutched on her mother's arm, widening her eyes in panic.

"I'm— I'm alright! Just get out of here and— GAH!" Jin-woo screamed in agony. He slammed his fist on the floor and everything shook.

Kyung-hye began tearing up. "Jin-woo. . . Son, please tell me what is going on. Should I call your father to hurry?"

"I can't take it anymore!"

And just like that, everything changed. His eyes lost their color and was replaced with blackness and his pupils lit in purple. The shadow underneath him scattered throughout the house and the lights began to flicker in disruption. Kyung-hye held her daughter to her chest as they watched the chaos unfold. Part of Kyung-hye wanted to run, but she couldn't bear to leave her eldest child alone.

A large part of the ceiling collapsed next to them. Jin-ah shrieked. Kyung-hye took a few steps back and heard the door burst open. It was her husband. She stared at Ill-hwang with tearful eyes and the hunter rushed to his family's side, only to witness that the situation had gotten worse.

Jin-woo had got his awakening earlier, which was something that must not be ignored, so Ill-hwang had had taken another hour to come home just to prepare some things for his son if he had to become a hunter. But he did not anticipated that this would be the scene he would come home to. Ill-hwang made his way closer to his son and reached out his hand.

"Son—"

Something grabbed his neck. Kyung-hye and Jin-ah shrieked together. Jin-woo got up and turned around, eyes glowing amidst the darkness exuding from his body, utterly losing control of himself and his curse taking over ever inch of him. He— was no longer himself. No speck of emotion was traced in his eyes, only darkness that took in a form of a human, stealing his soul to posses the body itself.

"Jin-woo, stop!"

"Let go of our dad, please!"

"Dear!"

Ill-hwang croaked, facing his son, who had a tight grip on his neck from his shadows. He couldn't stand a chance against him. His strength as a hunter were not enough to escape from the powerful forces that had been engraved on his son since the beginning.

"I'm very sorry, my son. . . " His voice strangled as his lungs slowly stopped producing oxygen. "My Jin-woo."

Was Jin-woo still able to hear his father? Well. . .

No, he wasn't.

Jin-woo felt like he was floating in a sea of black. He couldn't see a single thing. But all he knew was that he had never felt so much power in his veins, it was the strong urge that he had the world in his hands — to crush, to destroy, to swallow in darkness.

However, he couldn't move his body. It was like he was frozen in abyss. He could not tell if he was floating or sinking deeper, and deeper, to an endless hole that he had fallen into after collapsing on his knees. He remembered his mother and younger sister staring at him in shock, holding each other close, and him screaming for them to—

Mom! Jin-ah! His eyes snap wide.

Jin-woo forced his body to move, but everything stayed immobile, so it took all of his willpower to break the invincible barrier and he squeezed his eyes shut to let out a scream.

Finally, he regained his control over his body.

However, the next time he opened his eyes, he saw the entire house had crumbled. Smoke wafted from the debris of his home. Jin-woo looked down and saw the body of his father, laying on the ground in front of him, his eyes widened and his heart raced before he cupped his hands around Ill-hwang's head, trying to shake him awake.

"D— dad!" He screamed.

Jin-woo pressed two fingers on a certain spot on his father's neck. There was no pulse. His breath hyperventilated and placed his ear on where the heart was located — there was no heartbeat. Tears quickly beaded on his eyes. Jin-woo looked up and caught two bodies underneath of a thick rubble, he gently lowered his father down then rushed toward them.

No. . .

His mother had his sister wrapped in her embrace and her chin on top of Jin-ah's head. There were dried tears staining his sister's cheek. The hand that was supposed to reach out for them began to shake at the sight. Just like his family, Jin-woo felt like he couldn't breathe, his world was shrinking and spinning, his weight brought him on the ground.

His father. His mother. His little sister. . .

They were dead.

It's all my fault. . . Jin-woo gritted his teeth as more tears came out at the crushing pain that was about to burst his heart into pieces, like a stone shattering all glass walls at once. He screamed so loud that he had grown deaf of his own voice.

Look, oppa! I made you a drawing!

You have my genes, son, therefore you aren't weak.

You make me proud every day, Jin-woo.

I have the best brother ever! Just don't tell him that I said that—

Cursed or not, your mother and I will never stop loving you, Jin-woo.

I can't ask for a better son. . .

The most important people in his life had been ripped away in one night.

Sirens soon arrived in the scene and people rushed out of their vehicles to inspect the situation. Jin-woo sat immobile on his knees as lights flashed around the damaged area, grazing over every rubble, but he didn't bat an eye. He had his eyes glued on the ground next to the lifeless bodies of his family.

"Sir? Can I ask you a question?"

"Just take me," he said, surrendering himself in a heartbeat. "Lock me up."

The officer said nothing.

Jin-woo knew he deserved to pay for his actions. Not only did he destroyed the home that protected him, he also killed the people he loved with all his heart.

He must pay for the cost of his sins and let himself rot in sorrow.

So, he was cuffed around his wrists and got sent to prison. He was the only person in the scene, therefore it was obvious who was behind everything, and he even admitted that he killed his family after awakening. He was a murderer. A monster. His family died because of him.

And happiness had died along with them.

News spread fast and stretched throughout the world. News of a new hunter who killed his own family in cold blood and wrecked his whole house. People gasped in horror. The deceased members were a highschool student, a formidable hunter, and a sweet woman, and their killer was their eldest son.

Jin-woo spent two years in prison. Two years of loneliness because all the other criminals had become terrified and didn't wish to share a cell with him. And in those two years, he missed a lot of important holidays, but he didn't think there was any use of celebrating them. He had no reason to smile or appreciate anything in his life, not when he ruined everything.

Several more months passed, someone came to visit him for the first time since he had been locked behind the bars. The guards brought him to the visiting area where a man was waiting for him in one of the available desks; Jin-woo flashed a puzzled look and had to be nudged to take a seat in front of the visitor.

"Hello, Mr. Sung. I am Woo Jin-chul of the Korean Hunters Association." The man introduced himself. "Your father spoke a lot about you when he said that you've received your awakening."

"My father's dead. There is nothing I can do for you." Jin-woo answered bluntly.

"Is that how you treat your visitor after two years of not speaking to anyone?"

"They are all afraid of me," said Jin-woo. "Get out."

"I am here to get you out. Although, I was supposed to meet you two years back, but I thought you might need some time to grieve." Jin-chul explained. He continued talking when Jin-woo growled at him. "Your father told me that you had potential of becoming a great hunter, and since that was the last words he had spoken to me, I decided to honor him by allowing you to live your life."

"Don't make me laugh!" Jin-woo glared. "Live my life? I stopped living my life and had no desires to keep on going!"

Jin-chul sighed and remove his sunglasses. "Mr. Sung, are you going to stay like this because you've lost everything?"

"Why should I? I'm a—"

"Murderer, I know. I can tell that Hunter Ill-hwang loved his son so much, and I don't quite understand why you had done such a thing, but call it as a second chance." Jin-chul said. "I've already prepared a guild for you to work with, so just wait for your release in some day of this week."

Jin-woo was silent.

Not once he imagined seeing the outside world because he had long accepted that he would spend the rest of his life in prison until his last breath. He was no worthy being to keep on existing under the sun. But here he was, someone who knew his father decided to emancipate him to honor the deceased hunter.

But what else could he do? He had no options to refuse.

Three days later, a police officer came and announced that he was being released. Jin-woo was escorted outside of the establishment and was given a duffle bag with a note on top — it was an address to an apartment and some important contact numbers listed in. He sighed and went to his new accomodation.

Jin-woo wore a black mask on his face and a cap to conceal his identity from the public. Fortunately, the apartment the association had prepared for him didn't include many residents, so entering felt like he was walking inside of an old building. But that was better than to have people look at him like a murderer he was.

When he got settled and set his new clothes on the cabinet, Jin-woo found something on the bottom of the duffle bag. It was a dagger. Another note was attached on it on the back that said it was a weapon Ill-hwang had asked for the blacksmith just for him. Something pinched his heart. His chest ached upon what he just discovered.

"I'm sorry. . . " Jin-woo sobbed and tucked the dagger close to his chest. "I'm so sorry, dad—"

Mom, Jin-ah. . . His heart throbbed.

He was alone. He had nobody.

The following day came and he was standing in the vicinity of a gate the association had sent him to, and it was also where he would meet his guild master. The Hunters Guild. He knew it was one of the most famous hunting guilds in the country. Jin-woo didn't know if the association had chosen that guild out of pity for him or that no other parties would accept him.

Someone cleared his throat from behind. Jin-woo turned around and saw a hunter.

"Are you perhaps Sung Jin-woo?" He asked.

Jin-woo pulled off his mask and cap. "Yes."

"Good. I am Choi Jong-in, the guild master of the Hunters Guild." The hunter said. "Do you have a weapon?"

Jin-woo nodded and brought his backpack to his front and pulled the zipper open to grab his dagger, wrapped in a thick covering, and presented it to his guild master. Jong-in nodded.

"I hope you know how to use it. If you are not sure, just stay in the back. And one more thing— masks and hats are not allowed in the gate." Jong-in walked past him and made his way to the portal. "Good luck, Mr. Sung."

Jin-woo knew how to fight with a bladed weapon. He had watched tutorials and read books from the ancient times that featured fearsome warriors wielding their sharp weapons at their enemies. But to hold an actual weapon itself felt strange and anew — it did put a quite a weight on his hand, yet seemed easy to swing.

So, he headed inside of the gate and was greeted by the sight of hunters clashing against the vicious wolves. There were mages, healers, tanks, and hunters with different weapons. He could see Jong-in through the crowd, whirling his flames at the larger canines, burning them into ashes.

Then, something appeared from the corner of his eye. A wolf was about to pounce on him when the next thing he knew, his hand had whipped the dagger against the monster, thus spilling its blood on the ground and he thrusted his blade forward to finish its life. Yes, he knew that the neck had vital parts for a quick death, he learned that from one of the books he read.

Another one lunged forward, but Jin-woo immediately stabbed his dagger through its skull. His heart pounded in the adrenaline rush. He was really a hunter now. . . How it could've been if his family was still alive to this day?

But then, he had been engrossed to fighting that he had somewhat forgotten there were people who knew him.

"Is that the man who once appeared in the TV?"

"Who? You mean the awakened hunter who killed his whole family?"

"Wait— did Guild Master Choi really recruited him?"

"I heard that his father was a good hunter. How can he kill such a man?"

"I can't believe a murderer is working with us. . . "

Their words had punctured holes into Jin-woo's soul. So much that his focus had dwindled away and didn't notice a monster was charging at him, only then to latch its razor fangs on his arm before he could even realize.

"Ack!" Jin-woo yelped in pain and still managed to plunge his dagger into the wolf to kill it in retaliation.

He got through the whole fight with a bleeding arm. Not a single healer had dared to come to his aid. Regardless, he kept on fighting and stabbing his dagger against the creatures attacking him. He still had the enchanted gloves on his hands to conceal his cursed powers, he had never taken them off even when he was alone.

He kept going.

Being a hunter meant fighting for his life.

It was never the easiest job.

Afterward, the dungeon was finally cleared. When Jong-in found the blood oozing from his arm, he immediately called for a healer to tend it, making a remark that the newbie hadn't been too careful in his first day. The healer that was assigned to him looked quite wary as she placed her hands over the wound to stop the blood from flushing out of his skin, but Jin-woo just didn't flash her a glance, putting on a void expression as he stared across the vicinity.

"He managed to kill his whole family, but he doesn't know how to be careful. Such an idiot." He heard one of the hunters say while they were passing by.

Jin-woo scratched his nails against his lap. Seemed like there were people who condemned him so much. No, he should not be affected by it, they were not wrong and he deserved those words to hear anyway.

When the healer was done, she practically scrambled away from him. Jin-woo got up and reached to his backpack to pull out the thick wrap to cover his dagger after wiping the blood off with the fabric. He saw his reflection on the steel edge, the lifeless trace of the person he used to be and now had become someone so foreign to him.

"Uh, hi there?" A feminine voice approached him.

Jin-woo turned over and saw a woman, clad in a red armor and short blonde hair. Her sword clung on the side of her hip by a holster. He just blinked at her.

"You're the new hunter, right?" She said and offered her hand. "I'm Cha Hae-in! The vice master of this guild."

Jin-woo looked away and threw his backpack over his shoulder, holding it by the handle loop. He began to walk away from the hunter.

"Eh? I'm just trying to welcome you!" Hae-in called out.

"Ignore him, Ms. Cha. Don't you know who he is? He won't talk to people unless he's going to kill them."

Damn right, I am. Jin-woo thought and briefly shut his eyes, penting up his anger. I'm a murderer.

He didn't care if the hunter was being genuine. He didn't have time to make new connections because of who he was. His sister was the closest person he had to a friend. But she was gone now. . . Thanks to him. Jin-ah could've been in college, finishing her teen years happy and entering the world of being a young adult full of hope.

If Jin-woo would've just learned how to control of his curse. . . The present would've been different.

But how? There hadn't been a single existing hunter who had skills of darkness like his. Jin-woo had to spend his whole life hidden behind the walls where he was protected and so did the rest of the people who were not ready to face the power of shadows from a mere child.

Jin-woo kept a single lampshade on to light up his whole apartment as he made himself coffee from the small amount of products he had purchased as his first salary as a hunter. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough for him to get through the day until he received his next paycheck. He leaned on the window and stared at the starless sky, empty of everything he usually see back then, only dark blue and vague misty clouds that floated softly above.

"I miss you," he said in an airy whisper that was like an echo from his mind, "and I'm sorry."

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"Is everyone ready?"

"Yes, guild master!"

"Good then," Jong-in nodded his head. "Let's— oh, there is the newbie!"

Everyone turned their eyes to him.

"I apologize for being late, Mr. Choi," said Jin-woo and set his bag on a safe place before bringing up his dagger.

Jong-in sighed and nudged his glasses up. "Just don't do it again. The next time this happens, I'll decrease your paycheck by ten percent."

"Will do."

Jin-woo walked behind the group of hunters, keeping a meager distance between them because they knew they would get uncomfortable and he would hear another round of mutters directed to him.

"Hey!"

Well maybe except for this one.

Jin-woo turned his head and met Hae-in, who was heading to his side. Just like yesterday, he ignored her.

"How have you been?"

"Focus on the hunt, with all due respect, Ms. Cha. There is no time for chatting." Jin-woo said to her.

"Are you always this cold? I'm just trying to set some good connections in the guild." Hae-in replied. "I was quite surprised when Jong-in said that the association will recommend us to recruit you."

"Surprised to work with a murderer?"

She widened her eyes. "What? That's not—"

"The monsters are coming. The tanks might be needing you to be on their side, Ms. Cha." Jin-woo reminded her and walked to the other side of the dungeon near the darkest spot, checking if there might be monsters lurking. But another thing as to why he moved positions, to avoid the vice master.

Cha Hae-in was rather. . . Too bright for him.

One thing Jin-woo knew was that she was a formidable hunter. She knew her sword like it was part of herself. Her aura would glow yellow once she summoned her powers. He'd seen some hunters in awe of her as they fought monsters, and besides Jong-in, Hae-in was confident in her strength that she was able to take down larger beasts on her own.

And another thing he knew about her was how constant she kept approaching him and trying to make a conversation, which he immensely avoided her whenever he saw her heading toward him. Hae-in was friendly, kind, and cared for her fellow hunters. But he refused to let her be close to him. If anything, he found her annoying as she never stopped saying a word to him.

"Hey, Jin-woo!"

"No."

"Are you hurt? Want me to call a healer for you?"

"Nevermind."

"You've been fighting well. Do you want to fight behind the tanks this time?"

"I'm already good with my position."

"Are you heading home? Some of the hunters are having dinner together. You should come with them!"

Every. Single. Day.

Jin-woo didn't come to raid a dungeon because he needed a 'friend'. He just needed something to live now that he was out of prison. He didn't care if Hae-in was being genuine or just acting out of pity for him, the heart he had had been buried alongside his family, forever shattered and enveloped with darkness.

He was unworthy to be loved.

As soon as the raid was over, Jin-woo shoved his dagger into his backpack and sling it over his shoulders. He didn't flash anyone in his guild a glance as he quickly walked away from the area, trying to get far as he could to get back to his apartment or else—

"Hunter Sung! You—"

"Which part of 'leave me alone' do you not understand?!" Jin-woo yelled as he whirled around to face her. "Whatever you are about to say, I don't care, so just shut up!"

Hae-in fell silent. Then, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pressed tightly before shoving something to his chest, enough to cause him to abruptly step back. It was his jacket.

"You left it because you were in such a hurry," she glared. "Sorry, I didn't know that friendliness is annoying for you, Jin-woo. I understand that you are being like that because you've been behind the bars for two years, but that doesn't mean you can be a jerk around people who try to say hi to you. If that's the case, I won't bother you next time."

With that, she stalked away.

Jin-woo was left astounded on the spot. But then, he sighed and turned around to continue walking.

True to her word, Hae-in didn't dare to step close to him. Whenever Jin-woo arrived, she would treat him as if he was a mere ghost and walked past him without a word, only an empty expression which was a stark contrast to the face he was used to seeing. Part of him started to feel bad. But could he do? Jin-woo got what he wanted and that was being left alone.

Until one time, he had some food with him on his way to work. He had forgotten to restock his cupboards since he had headed straight to bed after coming home. He took a sip on his coffee while he held a pork gimbap on his free hand, the other hunters were gearing for conquering the blue gate in the construction site they had been called upon, then he spotted a sword propped against the empty bench. He knew who was exactly it belonged to.

He left the gimbap next to it.

Hopefully, she would accept his indirect apology even though she had no idea to whom it was from.

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"Brother!"

He turned around and saw Jin-ah, waving her hand at him. She wore the widest smile on her face. Jin-woo felt his mouth stretch into a smile of its own and rushed across the place to crash her into a hug, her laughter sang on his ears.

"Jin-ah. . . " He murmured. "You're still bere."

"Of course! I'm always here." Jin-ah said. "Always haunting you for the rest of your life."

Jin-woo widened his eyes. "W— what?"

Suddenly, everything turned into black. Jin-woo turned his head to both sides and looked back to his sister, who had also changed. Instead of the joyful girl he knew and cared for, blood was streaming down from Jin-ah's head, streaking past the scars in her cheeks, and her whole body was covered in ashes. Her eyes became dark.

"Monster!" She yelled. "How could you do this, Jin-woo?! I was supposed to have a field trip! Why did you take my life?!"

"J— Jin-ah. . . " He fell speechless.

"Son. . . " A new voice appeared. It was his mother, looking pained and had the same situation as his sister. "Where did I go wrong? I raised you well, took care of you, and protected you. Why did you have to kill your own mother?"

"M— mom. . . I— I didn't mean—"

"MONSTER!"

"I should've just given you up!"

"You've destroyed my future!"

"What kind of son are you?!"

Jin-woo backed away, but Kyung-hye and Jin-ah kept nearing him. His heart raced rapidly. He couldn't turn his body around, as if he had been blocked by an invincible barrier that forced him to only face his mother and sister.

Then, he bumped against something.

"Son?" It was his father. Jin-woo managed to turn around and was met with the kind smile on Ill-hwang's face. "Are you okay?"

For once, he felt relieved. "Dad! I—"

*kieuk!*

Jin-woo was suddenly brought on the ground on his knees. An inky black hand grasped on his neck tightly, preventing him from uttering another word, then he parted his mouth in a silent strangled plea.

Ill-hwang stared viciously at him and watched him suffer under his hand. "Do you feel it? That was how you killed me when I was trying to help you. You are useless. Why do you even have powers when you can't even control it by yourself?"

Jin-woo let out a single tear from his eye.

"Die, Jin-woo. You are supposed to be the one who died. Not us."

"I wish I shouldn't have been born so I won't have you as a brother!"

"Ungrateful demon!"

"You are not my child!"

"JUST DIE!"

"NOBODY WILL LOVE YOU BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU ARE!"

"NO!" Jin-woo bolted up straight from his bed. His hand latched up to his chest, grasping on his shirt, and could almost hear his heart beating into echoes. He looked over to his lamp, which had been kept on all night. His whole face was drenched with sweat.

He rushed to the bathroom to rinse his face with the cold and running water on the sink. He scrubbed his palms against his face and splattered some more water before turning up to the mirror. His eyes were slightly stained in red and he could make out the remnants of his nightmare; the faces of his dead family, their agony, and the words that were ten times sharper than swords.

It took a single sob from him to break down once again. He relied his weight on the sink as he wept.

It was the worst nightmare he ever had. When he was incarcerated, he had seen his family's dead bodies in front of him and how he must've killed them. But now. . . It was them, yelling and blaming him for murdering them in cold blood.

He was a monster.

His mother had given birth to a good-for-nothing.

They would never forgive him. . .

Jin-woo found himself in the convenience store, scrolling through the fridge in search of a drink that might soothe him. He still had his mask and cap on. It had been an instinct of his to secure his facial identity when heading outside. People still talked about him in the streets. And as for the hunters, they avoided him like a plague and whispered nasty words about him amongst themselves.

Sometimes, he wondered. . . What was even the use of living for him anyway?

He reached his hand inside to grab a can of beer from the shelf, he could never get drunk anyway, and closed the shelf to make his journey to the cashier, but only then to face someone who was very familiar.

"Hae-in?" He spoke.

The hunter blinked. "Jin-woo?"

" . . . "

A few moments later, they sat on an empty bench. Jin-woo sipped on his beer while Hae-in had her iced coffee. He almost couldn't remember what he said to her after hearing his name from her mouth, all he knew was that he offered to buy her drink and Hae-in hadn't left his side as he looked for somewhere to sit.

"I'm sorry," he began. "I shouldn't have been so rude to you when all you did was to be kind to me unlike everyone else."

"It's okay. There's no use if I hold it as a grudge against you." Hae-in said.

"But. . . Aren't you afraid?"

"Of what?"

"That I'm a murderer. The man who ruthlessly killed his own family." Jin-woo said. "Haven't you thought of anything that I might hurt you?"

"Well. . . Can you?"

Jin-woo didn't answer. He looked down on his drink. "I. . . I don't know. To be honest— I didn't mean to kill my family. I've lost control and the next thing I knew, all of them were dead and I was the only one standing. My mom, dad, and my little sister. . . I didn't mean to kill them." A teardrop touched his lap.

"Jin-woo. . . " Hae-in frowned. She reached her hand out to his shoulder, but hesitated. "If you didn't mean to kill them, then why did you admit to the police that you murdered your family ruthlessly?"

"I said it to atone for what I have done. And even if I lived my days in prison for two years, and some more if the association hadn't come for me, it wouldn't be enough." Jin-woo wiped his tears with his sleeve. "Am I that damaged of a person?"

Hae-in's bottom lip quivered. "I don't believe you are damaged. You just need to be healed, Jin-woo."

"How? Every night in my dreams, I see their faces. Looking at them made me feel like I won't die from a beast or old age, but regrets."

"Hearing your words, I know you didn't mean to kill them. You loved your family so much. And I'm sure they forgive you." She told him.

Jin-woo hung his head low. This time, he felt her touch on his shoulder. He resisted every urge to sob as he continued talking. "I never stopped imagining what it could've been if they were still alive. I— I couldn't remember what was it like to see my mother's smile, or hear my sister's laugh, and the face of my own father."

"It's okay, Jin-woo. . . " Hae-in murmured and scooted closer. "It takes time, but I hope you won't be afraid to let new people in. I'm sure your family wouldn't like it to see you alone."

"Nobody likes to have a monster in their life, Hae-in."

"I don't think you are a monster. You may be cold, but you are not a monster." She said. "You're just broken and had stayed like that for a long time, and I can see there is still that speck of hope in you, Jin-woo. Don't be afraid to smile and be happy."

Jin-woo glanced at her. "You think so? But everyone—"

"No, I don't care," Hae-in shook her head and looked at him in determination. "I don't care of what people think about you and that will not affect me either. They don't know how you truly feel. You need someone by your side — someone who will be there for you and not let you suffer alone."

"Will you?" Jin-woo spoke without a thought. But, he did not regret it. His heart wanted her to be that 'someone'.

The corners of Hae-in's mouth tugged into a soft smile. "Of course."

And since that moment, the gradual change in Jin-woo's life began.

Back then, Jin-woo thought she was an annoying who liked to pester him. But now, Jin-woo was starting to see her in a new light.

Once he arrived in his guild, he would catch her glance across the hunters. Hae-in waved at him with that bright smile of hers. Jin-woo paused, it took a few seconds for him to let out a smile, and once he did, he was actually smiling. Hae-in chuckled and went back to reading the papers in her hand. Meanwhile, Jin-woo took a moment to register what he had done. . . For the first time since forever, he smiled and it felt different when he practiced it in front of the mirror.

Perhaps he was just forcing himself to smile, but upon seeing Hae-in, he let his smile come naturally.

Hae-in would approach him and strike a conversation, and this time, Jin-woo would respond to her kindly and answered her questions instead of driving her away. They shared a small talk before heading inside of the gate and after conquering the dungeon, they would take a moment to converse with each other.

Other hunters gave them side-glances and whispered something to the rest. Why was the vice master with the murderer? Why was the monster smiling? Why were they talking to each other as if they were friends?

Why?

Jin-woo hadn't met anyone outside of his family, let alone having a friend for himself. He had built so many walls around him and Hae-in managed to break each of them down slowly. She would text him when he was in his apartment, and those messages taking the rest of the night until one of them fell asleep, and other times, she'd buy him a drink if they were meeting up.

He found himself being fond of her smile.

Her sweet laugh. Her flustered expressions. The way her eyes glisten whenever she saw something she liked. Jin-woo was fond of it all.

Having Hae-in around had been the best thing ever to occur in his life. His nightmares slowly stopped, thus leaving him with empty swevens, and that was enough for him. He would close his eyes and the next thing he woke up to was the sunshine from his window. He wondered if this was what it felt being alive for real, not sinking into melancholy; although there were times he still got haunted, he had something to hold on to.

Cha Hae-in.

The strongest hunter he had ever met, the kindest heart he had ever known, he pondered if it was normal to wish for someone to stay forever.

With her, he had forgotten about his curse. And with her, he could be a normal human who was not tainted by his past and demons.

"I've never realized how big the moon is now. It's beautiful." Hae-in mused, staring at the heavenly sphere across thousands of miles away from the ground.

Jin-woo hadn't seen anything like it. The night was indeed alive and full of wonders. Everything was at peace. He was in the park, sitting on the same bench as Hae-in, and was staring at the sky, glimpsing at the countless of stars that glimmered the night's serene beauty. Since nobody else was around, due to the time being close to midnight, Jin-woo thought he should remove his disguise and let the light wind caress his face.

"I used to see these things in images when I was a kid. It felt surreal to see them for real." Jin-woo said.

Hae-in raised an insiqutive eyebrow. "Why so?"

"Let's just say that I had to be kept indoors to keep myself safe. I wasn't allowed to meet my own peers and spent my education through online. I haven't seen the sun all the time, let alone the moon itself." Jin-woo let out a sigh. "It. . . It has something to do with the incident too."

"I still won't judge you for it, you know?" Hae-in reminded him.

He nodded. "I know. It's just that I'm not ready to tell you everything. Sorry."

"I understand. Take all the time you need and when you do, I'll listen with all ears and heart." Hae-in smiled. "Opening up isn't the easiest task, especially for you, so it takes patience."

He smiled back. "Thank you, Hae-in." So much.

They fell in silence after that. Jin-woo realized how big the world was, and that he was just a tiny human in the eyes of the stars. His mother once told him that the stars were also the human souls who had passed away and that they would appear in the night to watch over their loved ones, he wondered if his family was among the stars right now, watching him over even though he felt he did not deserve to.

He never stopped apologizing to them.

Their answers were the words he would never get, so he had no clue if he was forgive for his actions. Ill-hwang, Kyung-hye, and Jin-ah — the names he would always remember.

He was snapped out of his daze when he felt a weight on his shoulder. It was Hae-in, who had leaned her head on him, and she had her eyes on their hands, she raised hers and lightly traced his gloved hand with her fingertips.

"Can I hold your hand, Jin-woo?" She asked.

"Okay," he flipped his hand and welcomed her touch. He intertwined their fingers together. He noticed how slender her hand was compared to him, it made him become afraid of hurting her even more.

"Sometimes, I wonder what it feels like to truly hold your hands," spoke Hae-in. "Are they warm? Are they rough? Or are they smooth? Do you hide scars beneath your gloves? I wish to feel them."

One day, Hae-in. He promised to her. I will tell you everything.

In the middle of his chaos, in the middle of his black and white of a world, there was Hae-in. To be willing to open his heart out to her and reveal his true soul without contemplating if she would accept him for who he was or not, Jin-woo wondered what kind of deity to send her to a monster such as him.

Cursed. Miserable. Lonely.

He did not deserve her.

What was that feeling? Love? The kind of one he saw in his parents, how he would catch them embracing each other, those exchanged smiles, the laughter, and the way his father planted his kisses on his mother's forehead. . . He would like to experience it too.

To love, to cherish, and to hold. He was a broken man wanting to love.

Fate had never been in his favor, but would it give him a chance? Just this once, he'd ask for something and never again, let him heal and mend himself to be the person who had lost all hope, but now found anew and he would not waste it.

. . . Fate said no.

If Jin-woo had the worst mistake in his life, it wasn't killing his family, rather— it was underestimating his curse.

He had relied on his gloves for too long and too much that his powers would soon beg for release and since he wasn't giving it, the most horrible moment in his life had repeated.

He lost control.

The upper section of the apartment exploded vastly. There was no need to call for the association to send help when the whole city had felt the ominous wave and the slight earthquake. Hunters of all guilds had rushed to the location and rescuers had attended for the residents who had managed to get out safely.

Large clouds clustered into one. Darkness spread throughout them and the sky had turned dim. Hunters raced inside and creatures pounced at them, but these were not the usual ones they saw in dungeon, the creatures were dark and shone in purple and red tones. There were knights and even large ants. They managed to slaughter the shadow-like beasts, but some seemed to regenerate after a few minutes.

In the top of the damaged building, a hunter was possessed by his own powers. His eyes were glowing purple than ever. Due to such a long time of confinement and resisting, the shadows were endlessly storming out of his body as if he was a container they had been kept for too long.

Was he still aware of what was going on? Would he be able to snap out of being possessed?

Then, someone finally came.

It was Hae-in, who had made her way through all the shadow monsters that were attacking in the stairs and floors. Her sword was right on her grip. But her eyes, which were in aghast to what she was seeing in front of her.

"Jin-woo!" She called for his name. It was futile. But, she must save him from the abyss that was shrouding his whole body.

Unfortunately, something came out and Hae-in managed to catch it and drew her sword just before the weapon could touch her. The knight, whose sword was bigger than hers and hoarded a power that was superior to her own, deepened its weight on the weapon to try to push her down. But Hae-in was not giving up. She dragged her sword aside to bring along with it and was about to lunge another attack when a lightning strike of pain flamed out a strong agony.

Hae-in yelped at the pain in her shoulder, who was bleeding down her arm. She stared at the knight and glared. There was no way that she would back down, not when she needed to save someone before it was too late.

"Stop!" Jin-woo finally burst a yell. He continued to force himself to move his body to regain control over his consciousness.

He must not let the same thing happen twice. His family died because of him, and he wouldn't allow himself take another person's life. Not Hae-in.

After fighting against the powerful force, Jin-woo finally broke out and felt the shadows were in his hands for control. He looked up and saw the shadow knight, who was still fighting the hunter. He reached his hand out and the knight's sword paused in the air.

"Don't. Touch. HER!" He seethed and curled his hand into a tight fist.

The shadow knight disappeared.

Jin-woo got down and rushed toward Hae-in. Even if he could control his body once again, the curse was still raging. However, he chose to check on the most important person in his life, so he pulled her into his arms and buried his face on her neck while his hand cradled the back of her head.

"I'm so sorry, Hae-in, I'm so sorry!" He practically begged.

Hae-in wrapped her arms around him, evading her wound. "It's okay, Jin-woo. I forgive you."

"I'm sorry you had to find everything out like this. . . "

"We'll talk about this later, okay? We must focus on putting an end to this first." Hae-in said and looked at the thick cloud. "You know how to do it, right?"

Jin-woo turned over his shoulder to the cloud his powers had created upon. Now that he has gained control, he felt a plethora of sensations throughout his veins, and he exactly knew what each meant. The shadow monsters were still infesting the whole building, he could sense all of them being alive, clashing with the hunters.

If he did not make a move in any moment, everything would turn into ruins. Hundreds of people would die in his hand. During his incarceration, he asked himself— am I a human or a monster?

The answer was that he had a soul for a monster and a heart for a human.

It had taken him so long to gain control. . .

"I. . . I think I know." Jin-woo said. He looked behind and saw Hae-in's hopeful face. His heart ached at the decision that he was about to make. "But I won't make it to another day."

Hae-in's face fell and she looked at him in shock. "Don't tell me. . . "

"I'm not going to die. I just think that this is something I must do, and if I stay longer, I will just keep destroying everything." The Earth's mana would not be able to hold his. Jin-woo realized what he needed to know just now. He was too powerful to be in a place like Earth, considering how unable he was. "My family died because of me, the darkness inside of me since the day I was born, and I was too weak. And I still am. At least, this is something I can do to atone for the mess I've caused."

If he could not erase the conflict, then he must disappear with the conflict.

Tears began to glimmer in Hae-in's eyes. She stepped closer to him. As always, she was not afraid, even after finding out who he truly was. Jin-woo let her hand move to his neck, a vague memory of a nightmare appeared in the back of his mind, but her touch was tender.

"What are you going to do, Jin-woo?" She asked him.

"Go to some place I should've gone to a long time ago, just like in my dreams. All this time, I treated these things as a curse, not knowing how capable I would be if I paid attention rather than be an ignorant. I wasn't cursed, I was born with powers." Jin-woo said. He looked down on his hands, seeing how torn his gloves had become, so he removed them to let them drop on the ground and offered them to her. "Give me your hands."

Hae-in did what she was told. Her hands met his bare ones. Her skin felt even softer.

"How do you feel? Are my hands warm? Are they rough? Or are they smooth?" He smiled at her.

"They. . . " Hae-in dipped her head and let out a sob. She pressed herself to his chest, clutching on his shirt as she drenched the fabric with her tears.

Jin-woo wrapped his arms around her. He caught the wound in her arm that was still bleeding, so he placed his hand over it and shone over the wound to heal it. Hae-in was vulnerable in his embrace, crying that made his heart shatter.

"Please tell me this isn't goodbye," she murmured.

His throat clogged. Jin-woo had to swallow to keep his voice intact. "We'll meet again. I promise you that. You mean so much to me that it makes it hard for me to let you go — you are the only one I ever have."

Hae-in pulled away, facing him with eyes stained with tears. Jin-woo cupped his hands around her face, smiling amidst his crushing heart.

"I wish I should've been a normal person so I can love you the way you deserve," he said, wiping her tears with his thumb.

Hae-in sniffled. "Normal or not, I still accept you regardless, Jin-woo."

"Thank you," his eyes could no longer hold his tears as they began to pour down, "for being with me, no matter how damaged I am, and being the one who showed me that it's not too late for me to smile. You are my speck of hope, Hae-in."

"I love you," Hae-in sobbed as Jin-woo inched his face closer, bumping their noses.

"You are the closest thing I have to home," he murmured and raised his head to press his lips on her forehead. "I hope to return the love you've given me one day."

He wanted to tell her he loved her. He wanted to say those three words as well. But he knew it was not the right time to reciprocate.

Jin-woo pulled away and took a few steps back, stretching his arms a little, then summoned all the shadows back to him. The ground rumbled. His eyes glowed in its purple color and soon, he was lifted in the air in his powers, heading toward the giant cloud of darkness.

His dark pupils appeared, eyeing Hae-in, who never left her spot as tears continued to streak her eyes. His lips curled into a small smile. No matter how much he wanted to remain and allow himself to love her completely, he didn't think he was enough to do such a thing. She found him when he was in his colorless world, she gave him a new light to hold on and proved that he could be better, so that was what he about to do.

Learn to control his powers, get stronger, and most of all, heal from the mistakes he had done — for Hae-in, his father, his mother, and his sister.

I promise, Hae-in. He promised. I will become a better person once we meet again.

Sung Jin-woo disappeared from the surface of the earth without a single trace.

[heich0e]

liv…. i eat up your dialogue EVERY TIME like a crazy person.. if you post smth for someone i dont go here for, i read it just because 🤍 i 🤍 love 🤍 your 🤍 writing 🤍 but that being said……. i must know the details of the canonverse levi wip you posted. what did erwin do! what was levi and r’s relationship! how!!!!

if you're genuinely interested, i really don't mind telling u what the plot is because i will quite literally never post it. it was the first fic i ever wrote for any anime, and i hadn't even gotten very far into the actual show at the point of writing—so while some aspects are (tenuously) canon-compliant, there are also many very clear ways in which it is not.

so, to reduce that terrible levi x reader fic (it's so bad and i MEAN that!!) down to its barest bones, start to finish:

[WARNING: THERE IS AN ENTIRE FIC SUMMARIZED UNDER THIS READ MORE AND IT IS MULTIPLE THOUSANDS OF WORDS LONG. THEMES INCLUDE: DUBCON, CANON CHARACTER DEATH, VAGUELY MISOGYNISTIC TONES, AND EVERY SINGLE CRINGE-Y FANFIC CLICHE U CAN IMAGINE. BYE.]

at the point where the fic opens, reader is a young, low-ranking soldier in the survey corps on her way to mitras with levi and erwin to attend a small gala being hosted by a very wealthy family that they're petitioning (effectively wooing) to provide funding for the corps

the reason reader is asked to come along is because she comes from a very good family in mitras and is connected to the "high society" folk—though never explicitly stated, erwin very much intends to use her and her social graces as a sort of poster child and mouthpiece for the corps, in hopes that she can charm ppl and help them gain favour to accomplish their goal

all things considered, reader was very privileged growing up and had as comfortable/luxurious of a life as anyone (at least anyone in paradis) could possibly hope to have. her family is aristocracy/noble and comes from a long line of "wealth." her father is a doctor who consults with the military in a high ranking capacity—though he's never actively been a soldier, and it's largely just a cushy job where he doesn't do much actual grunt work, just gets consulted on things and sits on boards or whatever

reader graduated from school and enlisted in the military when she came of age—to the shock and horror of her family (especially her mother) and their noble peers. but she felt an impetus to do something with her life that wasn't just sit around docilely and look pretty until eventually her father handed her over to an advantageous husband and she went from daughter to wife and surely then eventually mother—while never actually having any agency or choice for herself

because reader was well-educated from childhood, she did well academically at the cadet academy, and because she grew up in a comfortable home she is physically very competent as well (though truthfully her skill as a soldier is often very OP and cringey to read back now... but it was my first fic! sue me!)

levi and reader don't interact much in the corps (as he's not her squad leader) but when they do they're constantly at odds—he thinks less of her as a result of her silver spoon upbringing, and while she doesn't dislike him, per se, she definitely resents his treatment of her

on the trip to mitras (alongside a very uncomfortable homecoming to her estranged family's home with two men who are effectively her bosses) they attend the gala/banquet and it's revealed that the family hosting it is the most wealthy in mitras (save for the royal family, though they're sort of unofficially considered the second-in-command) who reader is very familiar with—they have a son her age, and a few daughters slightly younger, who she grew up close to (i made all these characters up btw.... first fic liv was rly going wild)

the son from this family was always sort of sweet on reader growing up, and they have a vaguely romantic history in their teens (before reader enlisted.) reader very quickly surmises that she was brought along (or at the very least is able) to possibly sway the son in their favour, as the eldest and heir to this family's fortune, who would in turn convince the father to support the corps

the son (his name is adam btw. if anyone cares? lmao) is actually very sweet, and earnestly cares for her. he's just blinded by his own affluence to a lot of realities—like most extremely wealthy people are

reader is a good soldier and she's cunning, and she knows that what she's doing is ethically/morally questionable but in the interest of the greater good she goes along with some flirtation/manipulation for the cause

the story progresses and reader continues her work in the military, but the heir from this family is clearly infatuated with her and he (and his father/family by extension) begin implicating themselves more heavily with the military as an excuse to see her/spend time with her/etc though of course it's all under the guise of official business

so it's like the life she fled is bleeding into the one she built for herself, and it's stark juxtaposition becomes very clear in those instances where they overlap and she's forced to juggle them both

she just wants to be a soldier and do good. erwin is (in so many words) pressuring her to do her part and keep up the charade. levi is watching this all unfold from the wings and starts to feel some genuine sympathy for her

lots of very dramatic things happen, yadda yadda yadda. levi grows less hostile over time, and reader becomes closer to him. she's always respected him and that grows into something mutual. there's a lot of unspoken tension brewing between them

it's revealed that reader threw her cadet exam results so that she wouldn't be in the top of her class, and therefore couldn't become an MP and had to join either the garrison or the scouts. she did it intentionally (erwin knew and used this to his advantage) so that her family wouldn't be able to force her back to mitras. when levi realizes what erwin did/knew and how he used it to his own advantage it really upsets him, because he's basically pimping reader out for the betterment of the survey corps. this is the first time you really see levi get angry about the way she's being used (and you can infer in this moment that he maybe cares about her a bit)

more dramatic stuff happens!

the story culminates in the reveal that the son is planning to ask for reader's hand in marriage. her own family has already agreed. part of the financial agreement the powerful family has made with the survey corps is that reader will effectively be retired once she marries (and transferred to a clerical role with the MPs. desk work, basically. fake work, for all intents and purposes, because the position was made up just for her)

reader goes to erwin, understandably extremely distraught when she finds out, and begs him to stop it from happening. she doesn't really care about getting married, but she doesn't want to leave the scouts. he effectively (though not explicitly/in these particular words) implies that maybe if she fucks her "fiance" he'll be more open to compromise and let her stay in the corps

she does it, but unsurprisingly loverboy is not about to let the woman he's obsessed with (who he has now officially boned lmao) go back to risking her life every day in the military, and it's almost immediately revealed that her plan didn't work at all

(erwin pretty much knew the whole time it wasn't going to work. bastard.)

reader feels betrayed and helpless. she goes to levi the night before she's set to leave—who basically is like "uhhhh i told you so??" upon finding out what's happened—and they end up sleeping together anyway in a very emotionally fraught and vulnerable moment

she leaves the next day

a timeskip happens. turns out that the ENTIRETY of the wealthy family was killed in the attack in mitras (like between annie and eren's titans i think? don't remember what season that is. a lot of ppl get smooshed in a church. they were there.)

but reader had already been married into the family. she wasn't in the church and inherited the entirety of their wealth as the sole surviving family member.

she was also.... pregnant :) (of course she was! this fic hits every trope and bad fanfic cliche! maybe it's twins!)

levi is back in mitras years (??) later (listen.... i didn't know where the hell the canon storyline of this manga was going at the time so FORGIVE ME for the fact that obviously this is not canon compliant l m a o)

reader has become sort of a recluse since everything happened in mitras, but having inherited the wealth she's become a key figure politically and particularly with respect to the military because of her influence as a donor.

levi tracks her down to this surprisingly humble property on the outskirts of town.

there's a little boy playing in the yard. no more than four or five. he has dark hair and slate grey eyes. levi looks at this child and sees his mother's face.

the little boy speaks to him but levi is (understandably) very confused and disoriented. reader comes outside and is shocked to see levi there. like she's seeing a ghost.

reader tells the little boy to come to her and scoops him up in her arms, and she quietly reminds him (his name is Teddy btw... short for Theodore) that he's not supposed to talk to strangers.

and Teddy leans in real close and says "but mama... he has your wings" because Levi is wearing his survey corps uniform with the insignia on them. you've kept your own patch (a parting gift from erwin when he sold you off... how thoughtful) and treasure it.

all of which is to say that basically Levi is the kid's father, but because reader was already married when her pregnancy was discovered and the timeline still checked out—so no one ever questioned the paternity (especially because she was a WIDOW by the time she gave birth.)

teddy is now the "legitimate" heir to the entire fortune that was left by reader's husband/his family, but until he comes of age it's reader's to manage, so she can provide a safe home for him to grow up in—though notably removed from the society that she was raised in.

it's heavily implied (though not actually confessed) that reader and levi have been in love with each other for all these years, and there's a kind of optimism about what future is ahead for them now that their paths have crossed again. (present day canon-knowing liv is laughing at this part in particular.)

the end.