#or it's a doctors trip woo-

[palettepainter]

Oh-ho blocked ear canal baby, the next following days are gunna be great-

[envy-of-the-apple]

Heart for a Heart

(Dark!Sung Jin-woo x reader)

3.8k - Word Count

Synopsis: In a world where soulmates share each other's pain, yours is particularly clumsy.

(Warnings: Yandere, dark content, gore(not done to reader), kidnapping)

It started out small. A few bruises. A paper cut here and there. A mark you never really noticed before. Things that didn't matter.

You never really minded the bond. It's often relieving that somewhere, out there, your soulmate was okay. Okay enough to get scratches and paper cuts. Alive enough to get hurt. You know, people that weren't so lucky so have those.

And then, you stopped being so lucky.

One day, you suddenly had this searing pain in your leg. It was excruciating, you were screaming so loudly you were sure the entire town could hear you. When you’re finally rushed to the hospital, it’s there where your doctors discover the broken leg. You hadn’t done this, however. 

You’re soulmate had. 

It escalates from there. Broken legs aren’t enough; sometimes, you got shattered ribs, torn ribs. Once you got your stomach ripped open by a long sharp object. That had kept you in the hospital for more than a month. At first, people would just assume you were painfully clumsy. All they had to see was your fingers getting crushed by seemingly nothing to get the picture. 

The only upside to this was whenever you were rushed to the hospital, your soulmate was inadvertently saved as well. Giving them some much needed aide when they clearly were in need of it. 

“Maybe your soulmate is a hunter.” Pondered your friend, sitting next to the hospital bed. 

“I hope not.” You mutter back, looking at your newest injury: Stabbed in the thigh. “They’re pretty shitty at their job, then.” 

“Maybe they’re pretty low.” She thinks out loud. “Rank D. No, maybe even rank E? Or they’re pretty high up, so they get the more dangerous jobs?” She shrugs. 

You huff. Somehow, the thought that your soulmate is out there intentionally putting both themselves and you in danger would make this entire situation even worse. You desperately hope this guy was just a clumsy idiot—the type of person who trips over a rock and shatters a whole bone. An accident would be much more forgivable. 

And if they were a hunter, then you hoped they’d have a big enough accident to put them out of commission permanently. 

You were high on drugs. You didn’t mean that. 

You certainly never wanted this. 

You were asleep when it started. Alone, in your apartment. No one was by you. Your phone was on the cabinet. You were alone when it happened. 

You wake up to the feeling of death. You don’t know how else to explain it, but something was looming over your chest, pinning you down until you were suffocating. 

In your panic, you fumble out of your blankets before trying to get out of bed. The moment your feet touches the floor, you stumble, crashing onto hardwood. On your hands, you look back, trying to see what you tripped on. 

Gone. 

Your leg was gone. 

“What the fuck…?”

You’re hyperventilating. You can’t stop yourself. You can’t control yourself. Your leg was gone. It was severed off. You were bleeding out. There was so much pain. So so much pain.

You needed to get to your phone. It was high up on your cabinet, just sitting there innocently, mockingly. You needed to call someone. 

You crawl on the floor, fists clenched tightly together, dragging yourself across the wood, smearing blood everywhere. It was worth it. It would all be worth it if you could just call help. 

There’s a second, and then you’re losing your breath as something slams into your chest, knocking you down. A sledgehammer? It didn’t matter what it was. You’re coughing up blood, retching out your dinner, when there’s another and another. You’re getting sliced. Punched. Beaten. 

No, not you. 

Your soulmate. 

You needed to get to your phone, but it’s miles above you, sitting right on the ledge. Sometime after that, your arm gets cut off, too. You’re clutching at the cabinet, crying out when there’s another stab, this one right in your chest, right at your heart. 

You see it then—carved stone skin, glowing eyes, a terrifying smile. Looking right at you because it saw you. 

You were going to die, you were going to die because of that thing. And neither you nor your soulmate could save either of you. Not this time. 

But your phone is right there, you could get to it if you just–

Your remaining arm give out; you collapse onto the floor. The last thing you see is your blood seeping from your body before you pass out. 

_

Death is warm, like sunlight dappled across your face. Death is calm, like birds cheerily chirping out your window. Death is peaceful, like the low hum of your fan. 

But you can’t be dead. You’re still breathing. 

Your eyes blink open. There’s not a remnant of pain, not even from your past injuries. You sit yourself back up, examining your hands, your body, your leg. You still had both of your feet. You wiggled your two hands. You were more than content to just write it off as a dream when you see the blood smear from where you dragged yourself from bed. Your clothes were torn, but your skin was magically fine underneath. It was like last night never happened. 

Except it had. You still remember that face. So many teeth. 

You know you lost your leg. You know you lost enough blood to die. And yet, you were still here. Had…had your soulmate done something? Had they saved you? 

It takes hours to clean up the blood. Thankfully, peroxide gets rid of most of it. You can still smell the faint stench of metal, and you hope an open window would be enough to air it out. 

You still don’t know what happened that night, and when you try to search the Internet for it, nothing comes up. Perhaps your soulmate was a hunter and they just happened upon a rare healing item during a dungeon raid, and that was enough to completely reverse any injuries that happened to you and them. It’s the best theory you had at the moment. 

You can’t bring yourself to dwell on that night. You’d go insane if you kept having to remember that face, those glowing eyes, that hellish grin. You move on, pretending it never happened. 

But ever since that day, something changed. 

Your soulmate stopped getting hurt so often. Instead of getting severe injuries every month, you’d get paper cuts, bruises, and burns. At most, you’d get a large cut or two, but even then, after a couple of minutes, even the deepest cuts would disappear, and your skin would be like it never happened in the first place. 

You didn’t mind the change. If anything, you embraced it. You’d take anything. Anything over being stuck in the hospital for months, wailing over injuries that you didn’t even cause. 

But maybe you should’ve read the fine print a bit carefully. You should’ve been more wary of the change. 

It’s a regular day. You’re out grocery shopping, humming as you toss a packet of bell peppers in your cart. Your neck twinges, like a claw mark. Your soulmate must’ve gotten into another scuffle. You’re a bit pissed, but at least they’d figure out a way to deal with it. 

You aren’t expecting the punch to your gut. 

It sends you flying into the aisle behind you. You crash against the milk cartons, produce flying everywhere around you. People are already clamoring over you, worridly asking if you were okay but you couldn’t answer because of how much pain you were in. You were bleeding, and everything felt broken.

You hadn’t felt this much pain in a while. You’d been growing used to the recent change. Lax. 

Clearly, your soulmate had too. 

‘How’

You don’t recognize the voice. There’s ringing in your head. Someone is tugging at your arm. 

‘How how howhowhowhowhowhow h o w.’

The voice claws at your brain, you’re sure you’re bleeding there, too. It’s insistent, shaky, delusional, repeating one sentence over and over again. 

‘The system made me do it’

You’re above someone–a man. He’s staring up at you with a kind of fear you’ve never seen anyone have before–desperate, animalistic. There’s white-blue crystals everywhere. The knife in your hands is bloody. 

These aren’t your hands. Longer. More masculine. 

“You won’t get away with this.” The man underneath you is stuttering. “You’ll never get away with this.” 

You open your mouth. This isn’t your voice, either. 

“What happens in a dungeon stays in a dungeon. Your words, not mine.” 

The dagger reaches down to cut off his head entirely. And then you’re back in the grocery store, screaming. 

There’s more people gathered around you now. Someone hollers for water. A woman is asking if you can stand. You’re still in so much pain that you can hardly breathe but you hardly give a shit about that right now. 

Your soulmate was a murderer. 

You can still feel the ghost metal of that dagger–how easy it was to slice the skin, like it was nothing but paper. And you still remembered your soulmate’s emotions, buried deep down inside that unbeating heart. 

Nothing. He felt nothing. Only one thought was going through his head. 

‘Use the system.’

_

You witnessed a murder. You felt a man die in your own hands. 

You don’t go to anyone. Not the police, not to the hunters association, not even to your own family. You keep your hysteria locked up deep inside of you. You’d believe you. You could barely believe yourself for what you saw. Some days, you genuinely thought you were going crazy. 

But you know what you saw. You know what you felt. 

Apparently, seeing what your soulmate sees is rare, but not unheard of. It typically happens when one soulmate is in a great amount of distress, typically when they’re about to die. The theory is that sharing the trauma between two people would increase the odds of survival. 

You think back to the smiling statue. You think back to that man pleading for his life. Blood was prevalent in both. 

You try looking up ‘system’ and anything of that sort relating to hunters. Unlike your last delve into research, you turn up with nothing. 

You get paranoid. Even you can admit that. You can’t help but avoid hunters these days, even the lower-ranked ones. The thought that one of them could be him makes you want to vomit. 

Or maybe all hunters were like him? Filled with bloodlust, eager to shred skin. Now that you think about it, the man back then hadn’t been all that innocent. You could feel the rage emanating from him as well, the desire to kill. He just never got to fulfill his desires. 

These people were roaming the street, completely free. They received no consequences for their actions what-so-ever. In some respects, your paranoia is justified. His slit throat could one day be yours. 

You don’t see any more visions after that day. Something that you’re extremely grateful for. It makes you think that you could even forget that you ever even had a soulmate. You’d like that. God, more than anything, you’d like that. Soulmates were supposed to be romantic. Every time you thought of yours, you were supposed to get butterflies in your stomach. Not fear. Not horror. 

How many things had he stolen from you? 

Does he even know you exist? Does he care? 

You can’t avoid hunters forever. They were a staple in mainstream culture. Basically ingrained into society itself. Celebrities, politicians, and the reach of hunters was prevalent everywhere. So when the 10th S-ranked hunter in Korea was revealed, you simply had to go and see. Your friends were insistent on it. You reluctantly went, partially out of guilt for constantly blowing them off these days and partially because you were trying to slowly overcome your irrational fear.

It was a grand affair. The press was going wild, and pictures upon pictures were taken. A flash would go off every millisecond. You were in the back of the crowd, and even you were taken aback by how much of a spectacle it was. 

“Can you see anything?” You friend asks eagerly, shifting through the crowd. “I only see cameras!” 

“Same here.” You agree and then you move to a less crowded place, right by the railing. “Oh, come over here, I think I see him–” 

You’ve never seen your soulmate before. 

You’ve only gotten glimpses. Hands, bloodied hands. Clothes, torn clothes. You’ve never seen his jet black hair. You’ve never seen his tall figure. You’ve never seen terrifyingly blank eyes. And yet, you instantly knew. 

It was him. 

That was your soulmate. 

In that moment, he freezes. You regain control of your feet to duck back into the crowd. You’ve never been more grateful for the wall of cameras, a divide between you and that–that–

What even was he anymore?

When you peek over, he’s already walking away, a crowd of hunters surround him. He hadn’t seen you. He couldn’t have, right?  You know the soulmate bond is vice versa, so if you knew who he was just by looking at him. 

Sung Jin-woo could, too. 

You leave without telling your friends. You ignore their calls and messages. For days, you sit in your room, huddled in the corner. You’re waiting for something. A break in the silence. An attack. Him. The only things you do is eat, wait, go to work, wait, eat, wait, wait. 

A week passes. Nothing happens. The Jeju island raid comes and goes; you watch as the entirety of Korea cheers for him, unknowing of his horrors. 

He doesn’t know you, even if all you can think about is him. It’s torture. You wish you could stop. 

_

Something that calmed you down these days was baths. Even then, you made sure they were only for special occasions. This week, your boss hinted at the thought of a full-time position instead of being a contractor. Things were going well in your life. You wanted to reward yourself. 

It’s a good night. The water is just the right temperature, and you’re so comfortable you almost fall asleep in the suds. When the water turns lukewarm, you step, wrapping yourself in a fluffy towel. The soapy water drains into the sink as you dress yourself in warm clothes, fresh out of the dryer. 

It’s a good night. You order takeout, settle on your couch, and play something meaningless. You laugh at the half-hearted jokes the characters make. 

It’s a good night. You’re warm. Your belly’s full. You’re content, and your eyes are drooping. You’re close to dropping when you finally pad into your bedroom. The light’s already on. 

He’s standing right next to your bed, unmoving even when the creak of your door is so loud it’s ringing in your ears. You’re frozen, your heartbeat is so loud. The intruder calmly looks over a picture frame.

“Are these your parents?” Sung Jin-woo asks, “Are you close with them?” 

You don’t answer. You can’t. Your mouth is so dry, you want to scream but your horror keeps you silent–it also, unfortunately, keeps you rooted in place. You’re too terrified to run. In retrospect, you doubted they would’ve let you go far. 

“The King asked you a question.” A voice hissed in your ear. That causes you to scream, whirling around, just in time to spot a monster emerging from the shadows. You don’t know what it is, you don’t care, watching as it fully forms, tall domineering, more insect-like than anything. A monster. 

Panic. You pull yourself into a corner before your knees give out. You’re so terrified you're close to pissing yourself. 

The man doesn’t seem so concerned. If anything, he looks the slightest bit irritated, like the monster’s sudden appearance was an inconvenience more than anything else. 

“Beru.” Sung Jin-woo starts. “You were supposed to be keeping watch.” 

The monster bows, suddenly flustered. “I’m sorry, My King. You see, this one wasn’t giving you an answer, so I thought–” Sung Jin-woo clicks his tongue. 

“Just get lost.” 

It disappears. And then, it’s just you and him. Alone. 

Sung Jin-woo sighed before he kneels in front of you. He’s smiling, like his presence is supposed to comfort you, somehow. You press yourself further into the wall, watching him. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes, voice soft, you watch as his hand reaches out. “I hope he didn’t startle you too badly. He’s…taking some time to get used to humans.” 

“Please don’t touch me.” 

You’re surprised at your voice. So is he. His fingers stop inches from your skin. Sung Jin-woo waits before he eventually retracts, standing back up. The space is supposed to be relieving. It isn’t. 

You already know what he’s capable of, even miles away. 

“I won’t hurt you.” He starts. “Why would I hurt my soulmate?” 

You cringe at his words. His smile drops ever so slightly. 

“Do you have any siblings?” He asks, glancing back at the portrait of your parents. “Or are you an only child?” 

He’s acting like you two are on some date with the way he’s asking all these questions. Maybe to his deranged mind, that’s precisely what this is.  

“Please go.” Your voice is so low, barely a whisper. “Please please please leave.”

That’s all you can say. Threatening will lead you nowhere. Calling the police on an S-class hunter is laughable. Attacking him is even more pitiful. The most you can do is beg the monster in your room to go away. He doesn’t leave. He doesn’t respond, not to your pleas, at the very least, but his smile completely drops. His face is uncannily blank. It’s terrifying, but you’re glad he’s stopped pretending he’s human.

“I always wanted to meet you.” Sung Jin-woo suddenly says, “Even back when I was an E-class. You…you helped me out of many binds, those days. I don’t think I’d still be alive without you.” 

He’s talking about the days you’d wake up and realize both your arms were broken when you’d be rushed to the hospital for a broken rib. When the hospital staff saved your life, they inversely saved his. If you two had met a few months ago, you’d be overjoyed to hear this, you’d be so glad that your intervention saved his life. 

“And then that dungeon appeared–the statues.” Your heart drops, but he doesn’t stop talking. “I thought I lost you that day. When that statue pierced my heart, I felt you die. I think I heard you for the first time. You were screaming, and then I felt your heart stop.” 

You whimper, trying to push him away; he grabs your face with his hands, forcing you to face him. Your hands grip his wrist, nails clawing at this skin. He doesn’t care, why would a man who’s fought monsters care about a kitten with tiny claws? 

“But here you are.” He’s giving a breathless laugh. “Completely unharmed. The system must have saved you. The system must have known that I would go insane if I lost you.” 

He was already insane. You don’t know when he lost his mind, but you know that it was far before he met you. You shiver when he presses his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. The tears are making your vision blurry. You can’t stop the hiccups and sobs, feeling like you’re on the verge of a panic attack. 

“I know you don’t understand, but I need to keep you safe.” He’s insisting. “I have so many enemies. People who’d want nothing more than to rip you into pieces.” 

You turn away, and he lets you hide from his face, tucking into his chest. His hands–the same ones he used to kill people–find their way to your shoulders, keeping you within his grasp, as though he’s terrified of you disappearing if he isn’t constantly crushing you within his grip. 

“I love you, " he murmurs into your hair, and you just cry louder. “I need to protect the ones I love; I can’t lose anyone else.” 

One moment, you’re in your room, the next, you aren’t. The shadows engulf you. When they disappear, you’re in an expansive room. The ceiling is miles above your head. As soon as Jin-woo releases you, you immediately scuttle away, shuffling into a corner.

“Where am I?” You demand, panicked. “What–what did you do–” 

You cut yourself off when a coughing fit wrecks your body. It must be pathetic from his point of view, for a monster like him. Maybe if he sees how pitiful you are, he’d realize this was all a mistake and let you go. 

He doesn’t. His eyes just soften. 

“It’s okay.” He tries to console when it starts to sound like you can’t breathe. “You’re safe now.” He takes a step forward, but this time, you don’t let him get close. He stops at your closed stature. His jaw works, and you realize how bad it would be if you got this kidnapper, psycho, murderer, irritated with you. 

“My King,” A familiar rasp comes. “My apologies, but the dungeon you requested is starting to open.” 

The same ant monster materializes beside him. Sung Jin-woo frowns when he’s interrupted, but you’re glad his attention is diverted elsewhere. His lips purse, like he’s debating something in his brain. His searing gaze fixes itself on you. 

After a suffocating minute, he steps back. 

“I apologize,” he says, “this must be a lot to take in. I’ll give you some time to adjust.” 

The more he backs off, the more you feel like you can breathe again. But you can’t relax fully. He waves his hand and another monster appears in your vision. A large knight-like monster with a long red plume. His dark armour clicks everytime he moves. 

“Igris will be right by the door if you need anything.” He tells you it’s supposed to be kind, but it sounds like nothing more than a warning. The knight bows to Sung Jin-woo, and you can feel the knight looking at you before he makes his way out the door, stopping at his post.

Sung Jin-woo watches you for a bit, before he finally relents, stepping away to stand back with the ant monster. The shadows run back to him again and then he’s completely gone. 

You’re alone. 

The door is shut, probably locked. Outside, you can hear the knight back back and forth, like a diligent guard. A diligent guard of a prison. 

Slowly, you curl into a ball, and as quietly as you can, you cry. 

[pedge-page]

aww imagine when ellie is a little older and she has one of those doctor kit toys, and joel gets a cut (or maybe a bruise or something like that) and ellies like "it's okay daddy i'll help you 🥺" and she runs with her little kit and puts on the stethoscope and does a little "check up" and takes his blood pressure and checks his temperature, and then she asks where his boo boo is 😭 and then she gives it a little kiss (bc thats what joel and reader do) and she's like "all better daddy :)" 😭😭😭 please that would send me into a coma that is too cute

notes: oh my god this was so adorable to think about, thank you so much for the baby fever.... I ran a little further with this one based off this ask!

Joel Dealing with Wife: Doctor Ellie

- - - -

Joel’s caught on to something pretty big here. His ever growing littler girl Ellie is quite the caretaker….of him especially. All he tolerated under you and Sarah finally met its match when Ellie quietly entered the world.

He started to realize it after she would burst into tears each time he’d trip on Sarah’s toys, or grunted at your shoulder slaps. But she only ever showed worry when it was him getting hurt.

And he couldn’t get enough of it. Okay sure, its wrong to make your kid worry about things they don’t understand isn’t quite worth stressing over, but he can’t help but fall into a giddy awe spell of greed seeing just how bent out she gets when she thinks he’s hurt. It started with big hugs for long minutes. Then she decided she needed to practice real medicine. The amount of bandaids this family has gone through despite no real injury is astounding to his wallet. 

But it’s commendable. She so carefully puts her warm hands over his forehead whenever he stubs his toe, or checks his pulse when he’s eaten something too hot. Doctor Ellie is always in the house, and ready to assist.

And maybe Daddy… goes a little too out of his way to bring her out.

Joel had just rammed a large plank of wood into his abdomen, not carefully checking its length before swinging it around as if he were still in his twenties. “Ugh--damnit!” He groans, clutching his side. The throb lasted for just a moment before dulling, and he was about to carry on his business when—

“DADDY!!!!” Ellie wails, followed by the patterpatterpatter of her little feet running as fast as they can take him towards his aid.

She’s etched with concern over her chunky face, grasping on her tip toes for his hands. “Daddy okay?” She asks with her high pitched, sweetie voice that gets his soft spot racing.

“Yea—No. No baby…I think—“ he clutches his side, as if remembering the near fatal accident he just suffered. “Uuughh---oh Ellie…I’m hurt. I’m hurt real bad.” He bends forward, one hand over his abdomen while the other covers his face. (He peeks through one squinted eye to see her reaction).

She gasps. “It’s okay daddy! I help make it better!”

She grasps his finger with her entire hand and leads him towards the living room. “Moo!” She commands to Spoon. “Amboolance! WEE WOO WEE!!” She waves her hands around to clear the way of the invisible traffic as Joel followed, half squatted and stiffly wobbling to match her short stature.

She quickly tosses a blanket on the carpet, pointing for Joel to lie down. He obliges, groaning more so from the cracks in his back and knee instead of the fake pain he’s been dishing out.

He watches as she digs frantically through the bin of various toys before retrieving her mobile hospital toy kit. With the stethoscope thrown on her waist (it’s for kids 8 and up and she isn’t quite the size yet), she puts the rounded part over Joel’s stomach. Then she presses her head on his injury as well, causing him to let out an oof and chuckle as she listens futally for his heartbeat. 

“I nee take look.”

She rolls up his shirt a few inches to uncover the invisible wound. 

“How bad is it, doc?” Joel pleas in dramatic desperation.

She tilts her head to the side, closing one eye with her palm before shaking her head.

“Nee sur—Sur gee.”

Joel puts together that’s surgery, and he’s starting to wonder where she’s learning all this hospital stuff….

She begins rummaging around for her other toys before announcing “Knife!”

Joel’s head sits right up, eyes wide in Father-panic mode that she may have gotten her hands on an actual—

She instead pulls her yellow and green kids-cooking toy plastic knife that is meant to part velcroed plastic vegetables, and realistically couldn’t even slice through two strands of hair. He lets out a sigh, leaning back and letting her continue with her critical patient.

“Snack time!”

Of course you just had to interrupt their special Daddy-daughter only playtime with fucking snack ti—oh is that apple slices and peanut butter?

Ellie drops everything, sits on her butt almost like a dog and awaits patiently for her snack. Conveniently Spoon has also come to sit automatically next to her, if the dog-analogy wasn’t evident enough.

“Interrupting surgery, babe,” Joel hums. 

“Surgery can wait after snack.”

Ellie wiggles her feet as you hold out a slice towards her mouth for her to bite and keep her hands clean. The room is silent minus the content, unhurried crunching of apple sizes.

“Okay baby, continue your surgery. What part are we at?” You ask, sucking a slice into your mouth as you also dip one into Joel’s open trap, giggling as he swallows it like an arcade ticket machine crunching away at his spoils. 

“Make cut,” she says plainly, searching around for that knife again.

You raise your brow suspiciously  but let any irrational thought go as she holds up her very non lethal kiddie knife.

Doctor Ellie starts serrating his belly fat back and forth with the dull piece of thick plastic.

It probably looks like real pain to her, were it not for him holding his breath as his chest and stomach puffing up and down, trying to hold his giggles and squirms together.

You watch Joel with raised brow, knowing he’s got tears in his eyes trying to play poker face so hard, knowing you’re there watching him get tickled by this thing and knowing he’s gonna deny it profusely. 

“Shouldn’t you put me under anesthesia—“

She slaps a piece of paper — the phony ticket from her train conductor set (Jesus, how many different toy sets did you guys get her?) — a little too carelessly, but enough to get the idea across that daddy needs to stop talking as she does careful work.

“Sew!” She announces, as if she has a nurse assistant handing her each tool. Although, technically, she does, but you seem more interested in wiping the plate of peanut butter and sucking it off your digits.

Joel’s eyes are closed, enjoying the serenity of lying on the floor. You don’t realize how good it is to be on the ground until you have kids, and now you’re constantly on the floor doing everything with them.

“Mommy…where sew?”

You shrug. They’ve got so many toys, you’re honestly not sure what creative thing she’s gonna come up with the “sew” Joel’s tummy. Given her use of the kids knife, you’re curious what kind of toy—

She pulls out a real sewing needle, point and sharp and definitely not kid approved along with fabric thread. It glints in her little hand for a brief moment as she dips to make contact on Joel’s skin—

“OOKAY Let’s not use that,” you yelp, grasping her arm carefully from going any further. Joel’s still got that stupid paper over his eyes, absolutely oblivious and too trusting of Ellie. 

Something else about kids: you can baby proof the fuck out of everything you didn’t even think needed baby proofing, and yet they will still —what does Jeff Goldblum say in the dinosaur movie?…—f’ind a way’. 

You remove the needle and thread from her grasp, position it inside a cotton swab and high out of her reach. You fashion a string of yarn wrapped around a q-tip instead, and hand it to her like it’s nothing. She takes it and goes back to “sewing” Joel’s tummy up, dragging the cottony tip over his naval.

His belly dips as he lets out a pained breath, trying so hard to act like he’s not tickled. 

“Am I gonna make it doc?” Joel asks curiously.

“Bluey!”

He doesn’t quite understand that answer, until she’s pulling out the packs of varied assortment of bandaids. It takes a few minutes to help her pull each sticky back off, but soon Joel’s got 4 bandaids of Paw Patrol on his stomach, one Bingo on top of his jeans, some chainsaw massacre’s on his arm, and a pretty hello kitty across his forehead. 

“All done!” She boasts happily.

“Nah uh! You need to make sure it stays better!”

“Oh—“ she bends down and kisses his belly, just like you and Joel always do whenever she gets a minor booboo. Kisses make everything better.

Minus the bacteria in your saliva but ya know it’s the placebo in the thought that really counts for the healing factor. 

“Give daddy one on the cheek for good measure,” he commands, pointing sternly into his face. She happily obliges with a fat “mmmmmwah!”

“Yay. Looks like he’ll live,” you muse a little too unhappily. Joel snickers, sitting upright. God, he somehow looks ridiculous and hot with hellow kitty plastered across his forehead. 

“Doc, do you think I need to come back in for a check up, ya know, just to see—“

But Ellie has already concluded her medical services, now hustling away to go find something else to do. 

-

Joel steps out to the backyard, where Sarah is cruising in her remote toy jeep with the 6 ducks packed in the passenger seat and trunk. 

She rolls to a stop, her brightly colored sunglasses peering up at her Dad. She sucks her ring pop silently, knowing the desperation he’s come to seek her out.

Sarah fully well knows Ellie has Joel in her back pocket, and she likes to let that play out. because ultimately… Sarah can also benefit from their needy relationship off one another.

Joel clears his throat, looking around as if he’s making an illegal trade. “I’ll give ya two ring pops if ya pretend to run me over. And not the face this time,” he warms, knowing she’’ll plea innocence to his own askings. “Just for Ellie to see.”

She sucks on her candy before pulling it out of her mouth with a loud pop. “I’d do it for free.”

----

taglist: @harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow @wintersquirrel @fluffygoffpanda @picketniffler @bbyanarchist @jeewrites

[burningembers91]

The Debt Collector - Choi Woo-Seok x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Choi Woo-Seok spends his days collecting money from people who can’t afford to pay. But when he meets you, he can’t help but bend the rules

A/N: the love I have for not only this character, but for the actor plays him in unbelievable. I love every character he plays and I adored his character in Squid Game. If you haven’t watched the Kdrama Kingdom, on Netflix I urge to immediately watch it. This man plays the most selfish, most cowardly, but most loveable person I have ever seen grace my screen.

Choi Woo-Seok had wanted to be a lot of things in his life. His parents had wanted him to be a doctor, but the sight of blood made him queasy. He’d thought about becoming a lawyer, but he was terrible at arguing. He’d trained as a chef for a short while, but that came to a swift end when he set the kitchen on fire just 2 weeks in. He loved photography, but there was no money in it, and if he was going to have a family of his own one day, he’d need a job that could support them. He wasn’t quite sure how he became a debt collector; he just sort of fell into it one day. What had started off as friendly conversation at a bar with a stranger had developed into a friendship, which developed into a job offer and before he knew it, Woo-Seok was knocking on the doors of those who owed his boss money. He wasn’t a violent man, he actively tried to avoid it at all costs. But, luckily for him his boss had plenty of hired muscle, so Woo-Seok could keep a happy distance from the beatings delivered to those who couldn’t pay.

It wasn’t the fanciest job in the world, but his boss was nice, the pay was good, and he didn’t haven’t to wear a stuffy suit to work. Being a debt collector didn’t give him much of a chance to meet women though. He had barely any free time, and when he did, he could never seem to land himself a date. Women tended to go for guys that didn’t look like him, that didn’t tell cheesey jokes, or trip over their own feet when walking. He longed to be a father and husband though, to be a provider for a family he hoped would cherish him as much as he cherished them.

When his boss gave him your name as the next person to visit, he hadn’t expected to be so taken aback by you. It was mostly men who owed money, but the few women who did were often just as violent and brash as their male counterparts, and Woo-Seok had been slapped more times that he’d like to admit by an angry woman who couldn’t afford to pay.

When he met you, you were so timid and shy. It was your husband who had borrowed money from his boss, who had gambled away every penny. When the money ran out, and he wasn’t able to borrow more he fled, leaving you to pick up the pieces. You didn’t deserve to pay for something you’d had no part in. You were already working 2 jobs, trying desperately to keep your head above water. You had no idea where your ex had fled to, and had no desire to find out. That man had been nothing but trouble from the moment you’d met him, but love made people blind, and you’d been no exception.

Woo-Seok pled your case for you. Begged his boss to write the debt off.

“You’re a softie,” his boss had sighed, but he chose to let the debt go. He had bigger fish to fry and he trusted Woo-Seok with his life. If he saw something in you, his boss wasn’t going to question it. “Don’t go trying to play the hero though,” he warned him. “It’ll only end in tears.”

But Woo-Seok couldn’t stay away. He’d only gone over to tell you the debt had been wiped clean, but when he found you scrambling to pick up the groceries that had fallen from your split carrier bag, he couldn’t help himself. He carried everything into your apartment for you, replaced the milk that had splattered all over the concrete, and bought you a coffee and a cake from his favourite cafe.

Woo-Seok made you laugh. You loved his cheesey jokes, his bashful smile, his selflessness. He was your knight in shining armour.

You made Woo-Seok smile so much his jaw ached. He was lighter on his feet, he whistled as he walked, he was so happy when he was with you it was like he was walking on a cloud.

He’d asked you out a few months after you met. There was a new open-air movie theatre coming to a park near your apartment. But you’d been left so broken by your ex, so fearful of letting someone in that you declined. You didn’t want to say no; you wanted to go on a date with the man who made your heart sing, but you couldn’t risk getting hurt. Not when you’d only begun to heal.

So the two of you stayed friends, Woo-Seok coming to check on you whenever he could. He didn’t know how to help you heal, didn’t know to take away the pain that was so evident in your eyes.

To Woo-Seok, you were perfect. And if he had to, he would spend every day for the rest of his life helping you to see what he did: a wonderful woman who he loved with every fibre of his being.

[spdrslayr]

001. atsv headcanons ! ★ jonathon ohnn & miguel o’hara both falling for the reader…

⁀➷ srcs... masterlist . rules . intro .

| synopsis, ୨♡୧ for the sake of this scenario, miguel and johnathon are working for alchemax in the same universe at the same time. miguel is a geneticist and johnathon is a physicist. you, my dear reader, are the cute receptionist!🥺

★ tags -> gender neutral reader; au; miguel o'hara; spider-man 2099; johnathon ohnn; the spot; love triangle; jealousy; fluff; etc...

★ warnings -> jealousy, slightly implied age gap, cursing

★ w.c -> 1,028

| xox, mei! ୨♡୧ -> woo my first post yay!! anyways requests are open for johnathon ohnn, miguel o'hara, and hobie brown if y'all are interested <3 my masterlist n rules are still a wip so stay tuned for that!

both men love their work but it still stresses the hell out of them. they’d enter and leave work exhausted. but then you started working at alchemax. you - with your bright smile and glittering eyes. most of the scientists and associates were drawn to you, but miguel and johnathon were on a whole nother level.

johnathon definitely fell first. it was daunting when someone he found attractive was being so sweet to him. jonathon’s usually too stuck in his own little world to care about such frivolities, so you were something special.  

★ he’s been late so many times because he’d chat with you for too long at your desk. at first he stumbled on his words with you, struggling to maintain eye contact while simultaneously trying not to stare too hard. now you’re one of the few people he feels comforting rambling to, because he knows you’re listening ★ johnathon loves it when you’d call him “doctor,” despite him insisting on his first name. sensing that air of respect from you makes him feel good about himself. ★ he takes great pride in making you laugh and smile with every chance he gets. this physicist has a vast arsenal of cheesy jokes, bad puns, and cute pick-up lines.  ★ he visits you throughout the day whenever he can, and tries to muster up the courage to have lunch with you. you’re young and gorgeous and out of his league but he’d be damned if he didn’t try. and then miguel o'hara came back from his business trip.

miguel didn’t care for the last receptionist. she was rude and lazy and got his name wrong. so it was a pleasant surprise when he was greeted by you instead. 

★ at first, your peppiness was too much for him, especially in the morning. he’d brush off your attempts at conversation and only mumble back to you when needed. such is the way of the resident grump at alchemax. but eventually, you wormed your way into his heart by remembering how he likes his coffee and staying up to help him on late nights in the lab. ★ miguel had to admit, you were a joy to have around. …and very very nice to look at. miguel's had a few serious relationships in the past, but they never ended well. since then he’s only indulged in one-night stands and temporary hook-ups. but he refused to look at you so fleetingly.  ★ miguel started bringing you expensive bouquets of flowers for your desk, along with sweet little notes. he’s obsessed with the scent of your vanilla perfume. he wants to be your hero, there to open every door, pull out every chair, and drive away any creep. for him, creeps include johnathon.

johnathon wasn’t concerned when he’d see other scientists and workers flirt with you. he wholeheartedly believed you two had a special connection that couldn’t be replicated. but seeing miguel turn you into a blushing stuttering mess proved him wrong. there was competition closer than he thought, and if he didn’t act quickly, he’d lose you for good.

★ johnathon felt deeply insecure in comparison to miguel. dr. o’hara’s movie star face & dreamy hair made him feel like crap.  ★ miguel clearly had way more experience in dating, always flirting with you so smoothly. johnathon on the other hand, is pretty sure he’s stuck in the friendzone with you. so he decided to experiment with bolder methods of winning your heart. ★ jonathon’s been more direct, showering you with compliments and buying you lunch whenever he could. he made it abundantly clear that he was single and that he liked you very much. you were his favorite person at alchemax, and for good reason.

miguel honestly thinks johnathon’s annoying as fuck. once john accidentally spilled hot coffee onto miguel on a very bad day, and he’s been bitter ever since. in the past johnathon would be friendly, but miguel would brush him off. who the hell is this lanky ass nerd and why is he hovering over him in HIS lab? 

★ now he’s wondering why the geek is messing with his love now. it pisses him off, not just because johnathon knows he feels the same about you, but how john makes you happier than he’s ever seen you be. miguel’s flirty, and funny in his own, stubborn way, but he lacked johnathon’s endearing dorky nature that had you hooked. ★ miguel is soooo grumpy lmao ★ really johnny is such a silly sweet guy while miguel, mr. give everything 1000% over here is fighting for his life. it took miguel a whole ass week to come up with a joke as good as johnathon’s that made you laugh your ass off. my guy is trying waaay too hard.

at first, miguel confronts johnathon kindly. he’s sympathetic and straight to the point - they both hold the same intentions towards you, but only one of them can win. he can tell that johnathon’s a good guy, with a big heart, so he’d understand… right?

★ “i’m in love with them, dr. ohnn. this isn’t just a silly crush. so either help me, or please refrain from getting in my way.” ★ “no, i’m good.” ★ “...you’re WHAT?”

war!!!!! miguel is a bitch to johnathon. dr. octavius has to give johnathon advice on how to win you over and how to fend off miguel. he’s gotten a lot better at brushing off miguel’s judgemental comments and acting unbothered by them.

although it’s not like johnathon isn’t cunty either. when he makes you laugh sometimes it’s because he’s making fun of miguel behind his back. he has a killer miguel impression that puts the original to shame.

★ “ugh, my shoulders are too broad and muscular. it’s so hard being so fit.” ★ “johnny!! he’s coming this way!” ★ “i work out every single part of my body at the gym. i do forehead pushups to keep my hairline in check.” ★ “JOHNNY-”

as long as a certain collider project goes swimmingly, and a radioactive spider stays in it’s fucking lane,  you’ll end up with one of them.

…unless…? ;)

[yanyanderes]

i write tfa now bc i said so. here’s some yandere scenarios of the autobots with a human (y/n).

optimus prime being all overprotective, being sweet towards them during the day but using intimidation when the sun sets to drive away people he thinks might be a bad influence on them. insists that either he or one of the other autobots escort them wherever they go, stating that their affiliation with them could put a target on their back.

bumblebee being clingy and insisting on going everywhere with them. easily jealous, and sure, sometimes it can be a bit silly, but it quickly escalates to him wanting them to put his wants as a priority above their studies, work, other loved ones, etc.. if left alone for too long, isn’t afraid of guilt-tripping to get them to spend time with him.

bulkhead being the usual gentle giant he is. he cherishes every second (y/n) spends with him, loves it when they introduce him to new hobbies, adores when they show interest in his. but that sweetness can quickly be replaced with bitterness the second someone tries to take their attention from him. he understands they have a life to live with other people, but with all his autobot work, the times he gets with them can be few and far in between, so please forgive him if he loses his temper and ends up breaking a lamppost or two.

ratchet learning human anatomy and how the human body works just so he can treat (y/n) whenever they need checkups. humans are fragile, so every time (y/n) brings up their doctors, no matter how skilled or experienced they might be, he always distrusts them. gets visibly annoyed and even offended if they reject his offer and insists on going to their usual doctor. but woo boy, if they ever do so much as catch a cold or god forbid break a bone, there’s no way he’s letting them out of his sight. time to show them how a real doctor treats a patient.

prowl is seemingly the most normal of the autobots. when the others are too overbearing, he offers to sneak them away to relax in a peaceful park. whenever they’re stressed, he gives them good advice on how to deal with their issues. he’s often the voice of reason and tell the others not to go too overboard as to not drive (y/n) away. he’s so kind and patient, and they always know how to cheer them up. he knows so much about (y/n)… almost too much… too bad, if they had just turned their head fast enough, they might have seen the silhouette of a motorcycle in the darkness.

[aboutkiyoomi]

nights like this ⋆ timeskip!iwaizumi x f!reader

part 2 from THISS iwaizumi oneshot !

⋆ synopsis: who knew that an airport crush would ever develop into the. best years of your life. falling in love with iwaizumi was easy and simple, especially with nights like this.

⋆ warnings : tooth rotting fluff, some language and down bad iwaizumi.

a/n: i didnt even realize the traction that pt. 1 recieved. i wrote this purely because of my infatuation with late night drives in the hills of california.

"here...it's my number." sounded like a distant memory. it had been exactly three years since you met iwaizumi in the hastle of the LAX airport. never in a million years did you think that you would be in this situation, cuddled up in the passenger seat of your glc coupe with the windows down, wind blowing throughout the car. moonlight spilling in through every inch of glass, the led lights illuminating the car a soft pink.

"can you please tell me where we're going?" you grumbled, splaying your legs messily on the dashboard.

"would it be a surprise if i did...oh ok." he answered, eyes shooting you a goofy smile.

"what surprise is an almost 3 hour drive." you giggle, grabbing his phone from the cup holder to play music.

sparks will fly by jhené aiko began playing, the car was calm and your breath was even, it truly felt like you had acheived the greatest state of peace.

in the 3 years, iwaizumi had managed to woo you into a relationship. you had recently moved in with each other and he decided to stay in california just a bit longer to get his doctorate in physical therapy while you finished law school, becoming an accomplished and esteemed attorney. to everyone else, it could seem like the two of you moved fast but no one would understand the love that you and iwaizumi had with each other.

recently, the two of you had a discussion about life and your goals in the future. iwaizumi knew that with his own, personal goals in mind, he wanted you by his side and he was willing to make sacrifices in order for that to happen. you admitted the same, which eventually led to iwaizumi planning this elaborate trip.

the music played, not obscurely loud but at the perfect volume. the led lights in the car shone on the best angles of iwaizumi possible. his left hand on the steering wheel, right hand firmly placed in yours and rubbing gentle circles. eyes forward, alert at the road for any possible dangers and the stubble that he refused to cut off gracing his perfectly, chiseled jawline.

"you're so handsome, haji." you muttered, eyes full of adoration for the man.

"and you're beautiful, love." he smiled, his eyes focused on the road but crinkling gently at the edges, signalling his content. "if you're tired, you can sleep. your blanket is right under the seat." squeezing your hand gently, he noticed the tiredness floating around in your eyes. you mumbled a quick thanks before pulling his wrist up to gently press a kiss on it and covering yourself with the fluffy blanket.

"i love you...so much." you whispered, before fading off into a comfortable sleep.

iwaizumi smiled deeper, only solidifying his decision as you slept peacefully next to him. the ride continued like that, the windows now rolled up, the music reverberating gently throughout the vehicle and the lights now set unto a soft blue tone. your hand wrapped in his as you slept comfortably. when you arrived at your destination, you were softly shaken awake, eyes blinking back tiredness when you saw the beautiful scenery that greeted you from the open car door.

the pine trees with light snow sprinkled atop their leaves, the driveway that looked freshly shoveled and the beautiful cabin that laid in wait of your arrival. your loving boyfriend, with bags and suitcases in hand, holding your door.

a little slice of paradise.

***

the night had ended quickly as you left the car, the two of you shared a quick meal of fast food that iwaizumi picked up right before you arrived before washing up and falling asleep quickly. iwaizumi had a day full of activities planned, as a kickstart for your sporadic vacation.

it was nearing the last day of your trip and iwaizumi had some elaborate surprise acitvity that he felt the need to disappear all day for.

"just relax for a bit and then be ready by 8, trust me." was all he said before disappearing out the door of the cabin. as it neared 8, you began to grow anxious. you hadn't seen iwaizumi all day and it was unlike him to leave you alone for this long, especially in an unfamiliar area. your mind was silenced when you heard the door to the cabin open and his soft footsteps padding into the room.

you emerged from the bathroom, earrings in your hand as you hobble into your shoes. his eyes blown with love as he takes in your appearance, absolutely gone for you. he kisses you on your forehead quickly.

"you look...unreal, baby. like, wow." his eyes bright as he wraps his arms around your waist gently.

***

the car rolled up to a secluded area, a clearing in the forest with a beautiful view of the frozen over expanse of big bear lake. the trees were sparsely decorated with fairy lights, a blanket spread neatly on the floor and decorative flowers spread across the blanket. candles illuminating the area with their warm light and two empty plates rested in the center.

"oh...wow. haji, this is-" you started, your eyes wide and your heart pounding in gratitutde. absolute thankfulness for the man that is hajime iwaizumi.

"wait. compliment me after this." he smiles and sends a playful wink, a hint of nervousness leaking through his words before he pulls out the bouquet of assorted flowers. ranging from babys breath to your most favorite flowers.

"wow...haji this is. it's perfect. thank you." you smile before grabbing the flowers and kissing him softly.

"sit..." he mumbles, motioning towards the set up. you hobble over, sitting cross legged on the blanket, smile absolutely radiating in the warm lights of candles and cheap string lights.

"you know...3 years ago, i don't think i would ever imagine myself being in this position. i never thought a simple airport crush would ever turn into this....such a deep feeling and experiences i couldn't ever fathom." iwaizumi starts, he's walking towards you slowly before he pauses in front of the blanket.

"y/n, i love you and i know i tell you everyday but i truly and genuinely feel so deeply for you. i care about you and i want to give you everything. you deserve the world and absolutely everything in between. i may not have definite plans for the future but i know whatever opportunities i'm given, i want you. i want you by my side for all of it. i'd be so lucky to experience that...which is why, i have to ask." he pauses before reaching into the pocket of his straight legged pants and kneeling quickly.

"yn ln, would you please do me the absolute honor of spending the rest of our lives together." the ring is suddenly brandished in front of you, iwaizumi's face positively tearing up, the sheer adrenaline of the situation flowing through his body.

your eyes prick with tears, hands shaking as you reach out to touch the ring, pleading for tangible proof that this was real. the moment you had been begging to happen, that you had waited for was finally here. before your words could register, tears were falling as you nodded rapidly. hands reaching out to throw yourself onto iwaizumi before whispering in his ear.

"yes. in every universe, i would say yes." you mumble, head buried in the crook of his neck.

a/n: i want you all to be aware the proposal bit was soooo impromptu and i never planned for it to exist but, alas. it did and im glad it did. i teared up writing it bcs my favorite love song of all time began playing and it tore my heart up. anyways timeskip iwa ily.

[insipid-drivel]

Endometriosis, Fat Doctors, And Bellybuttons: What They Don't Teach You In Health Class

Woo another rambling TED talk, but I just got home from a meeting with a doctor specializing in wound care that I really feel a lot of you should hear:

Firstly, I've been having mysterious pains in my bellybutton area since... probably last Autumn? But I've had menorrhagia (extremely heavy, painful, and even dangerous periods that can cause spontaneous hemorrhaging) since I was 13 years old. Since my menorrhagia became active, I've been begging for a hysterectomy. I'm moving into my 20 year anniversary of Living With A Uterus That Hates Me As Much As I Hate It.

Being trans (agender) also really incentivizes the whole "yeet the uterus" thing, too, but that doesn't really have anything to do with why I wanna talk to y'all about endometriosis and bellybuttons.

Anyway, as of this year, I've had a lot of issues with my bellybutton region. Random infections, inflammation, pain, trips in and out of the ER; the works. My doctor has been so confused by my bizarre constellation of symptoms that he hasn't been sure of what's going on or what the best course of action is, aside from referring me for more tests and prescribing comfort measures in the meantime.

Until today. My desperate track for a diagnosis began over a week ago when my symptoms became alarmingly sepsis-like, but my test results came back with nothing but signs of an elevated white blood cell count. My doctor has been rushing me from specialist to specialist, and today was a wound care doctor that specializes in treating bariatric, hospice, and disabled patients that can't necessarily follow conventional wound-care advice meant for young, abled, and thin people.

I didn't expect much. Maybe some magnifiers, swabs, and a biopsy at worst, followed by antibiotics and whatever else, but definitely nothing that would help me solve this latest scary health mystery. While the worst of the pain I had that landed me in the ER went away on its own enough that I can get by with mobility aids, I still haven't had a diagnosis.

Until Awesome Fat Doctor.

Awesome Fat Doctor I celebrate. I live for this man. He literally gave me a reason to keep on trying and not give up. I was so scared of the appointment I'd gone nonverbal (not weird for me these days), but I got my voice back after I spent a while with him and his nurse (who was also fantastic). Even though I only met him for a few minutes and he forgot to introduce himself so I can't remember his name right now, Awesome Fat Doctor was a rock star. He was in his later middle age, scruffy, unshaven, and fat - enough that I could imagine the reason he specializes as a wound care doctor is because he may have gotten fed up of other doctors blaming his own health problems on his weight and life choices.

AFD gave no fucks. Along with being a big guy, he carried himself with the gruff no-nonsense of a man that's probably beaten up his ableist colleagues overdiagnosing fibromyalgia in the back of a Wendy's parking lot. He had been informed of my autism and my own needs for a wheelchair due to my own long-term chronic pain and other health issues, as well as my troubles speaking, and treated me like a little cousin that was having a rough go of things like he'd had.

He was compassionate and a straight-shooter with me. He was respectful of my boundaries, talked to me as casually as if I could respond like anybody else with working vocal cords (which I was eventually able to), and generally had all the bedside manner of someone that has worked with patients with special needs of all kinds. He looked at the trouble area and my records and history, told me that he was gonna do his best to get things straightened out, and then went quiet as he studied the timeline of my issues.

"Do you have endometriosis?" he asked, while studying a photo my mom had taken of a... skin infection over my lower abdomen, which had spread from my bellybutton.

I was confused.

"Not that I know of," I answered. I'd found my voice already when he and his nurse both helped put me at ease and showed me I was respected, safe, and seen. I've been tested a few times in my life for endometriosis and had my fair share of ultrasounds (the most common way to diagnose endo), and nobody had found anything unusual. But I have menorrhagia, am always in pain from my reproductive organs, and am desperate to get them removed. I'm on a 24/7 regimen of 2x normal birth control pills just to keep me from menstruating for my own safety. It sucks.

"My wife once had to get emergency surgery for what we thought was appendicitis. Do you know what it turned out she had?" he asked me, very suddenly, and like he had an idea.

"Ectopic pregnancy?" was my first guess, because women have died in the past to ectopic pregnancies that were mistaken for appendicitis.

AFD shook his head. "It was her menstrual cycle, and she had endometrial tissue bleeding into the space beside her appendix. I think you may have endometrial tissue in your bellybutton, and every time your hormones try to cycle in spite of your birth control pills, it bleeds and infects."

I was gobsmacked. Endometriosis and PCOS run in my family as reliably as eye and hair color, but I'd never really thought of how pernicious endometrial tissue could actually be. When I picture endometrial tissue, I picture overgrowths inside of reproductive tissue, or clinging to the outside; not growing randomly within the abdominal cavity or emerging out of my fucking skin like a turkey pop-up timer of doom.

AFD slowly nodded. "And the only way we'd be able to see the endometrial tissue is if you had it tested while you were menstruating and the tissue itself was inflamed and bleeding. Otherwise, it won't show up as anything different to the normal, healthy tissues surrounding it. A biopsy isn't reliable, either, because we have to know exactly where the tissue is before we test it. You have to have your hormones triggering the tissue to inflame and behave differently so it can be diagnosed if there are no big deposits of tissue to see."

After a long time of my ears ringing, I asked him, "Do you think it's possible that the ultrasounds were showing false negatives? Like, I have endometriosis and had it all along, but the tissue is too small to see or were being looked at at the wrong time?"

As it turns out, that's exactly what may be going on.

I see my doctor tomorrow, and meet with my surgeon at the beginning of next month.

Listen to your bodies, y'all. I am so thankful to that doctor, who wound up diverting into a very colorfully-worded rant about how much he hates the American medical system immediately after that. He gave me hope that I was just having new issues with old problems and was right all along about what my body really needed, and that my symptoms now are just showing what happens when doctors neglect their patients' needs.

I did wind up asking if he specialized with wound care because of how other doctors responded to his weight, and he said that it was a mix of reasons beginning with Yes: Both so he could have a safe space from fatphobia and ableism for himself and his patients, but also so his wife - who, while I hadn't seen her, he explained was about as big as he was - would have her own pain taken more seriously, being both fat and female. As he'd already explained, she hadn't been successfully diagnosed with endometriosis until she was symptomatic of full-blown appendicitis-levels of pain as an adult and her doctors were forced to stop blaming her pain on her weight.

Now, as I sit here reflecting... It's hard to believe that, thanks to this doctor's theory, I may finally be free from pain and dysphoria sooner than I imagined. It just took a doctor who could empathize with me to see me, and choose to take the scarier hill to fight on with me.

[simply-whump]

The Story of Park's Marriage Contract (열녀 박씨 계약 결혼뎐) - Whump List

Whumpee : Kang Tae Ha played by Bae In Hyuk

Synopsis : In the 19th century, on the night of her wedding day, Park Yeon Woo's husband died after revealing that he had suffered from a heart condition for a long time. She is devastated, but before she can even mourn her husband, a man kidnaps her and throws her in a well. She is now in present-day Seoul, South Korea, and the man who saves her from the swimming pool is Kang Tae Ha, who looks a lot like her dead husband from the 19th century. He is the successor of SH Seoul Corporation. He does not like opening himself up to others due to his heart disease and the trauma that he endured in his childhood. (MDL)

Genres : Historical, Mystery, Romance, Fantasy

Warning! Possible spoilers below!

Kang Tae Ha

Ep 1 : (Past Life) Suddenly in pain, holding his chest, coughing up blood, collapses, concern for him, dies

Ep 2 : (Present Life) (42:00) Wakes up from a nightmare (comedic) — (48:52) Headbutted, puts some ice on his chin — (58:18) Scared, passes out, concern for him, slapped (comedic) — (01:06:18) Something in his car breaks, has a car accident

Ep 3 : (00:38) Ha a car accident, bleeding slightly from his forehead, stumbling — (14:40) Pushed down underwater (comedic) — (25:22) Taking pills — (27:34) Getting tested at the hospital, scar on his chest — (36:01) Trips, falls to the floor (comedic) — (01:03:40) Falls to the ground, wincing

Ep 4 : (16:20) Remembering traumatic memories, panic attack, heavy breathing, concern for him, slides down to the ground — (23:16) Having a nightmare, sweating, calmed down — (01:01:45) Worried for someone, holding his chest, falls down a hill, unconscious

Ep 5 : (01:25) Wakes up, wincing in pain, worried for someone, small cut on his face — (07:30) Cut treated — (25:49) Falls — (01:02:20) Heart condition acting up, in pain, holding his chest, collapses

Ep 6 : (04:01) Repeat of the previous scene, in pain, has to pretend he is okay, collapses, concern for him, heavy breathing — (01:04:37) Going to a place linked to his trauma, anxious, worried for someone, holding his chest, heavy breathing, panic attack, concern for him, scar on his chest revealed

Ep 7 : (Previous scene continues) (01:33) Panic attack, heavy breathing, scar reveal — (02:26) Sleeping in bed — (04:35) Teary-eyed, hugged, crying — (58:55) Heart disease acting up, holding his chest, groaning in pain — (19:52) Heart disease acting up, groaning in pain, holding his chest, taking medication — (23:02) Distancing himself from his loved one because of his heart condition, crying — (25:04) Told his pacemaker is not working and that he will experience heart failure 

Ep 8 : None

Ep 9 : (18:34) Hit with a cane — (01:01:08) Learns a shocking truth, remembering painful memories, crying

Ep 10 : (03:28) Shocked, panicked, crying, heavy breathing, held — (22:36) Slapped, crying — (23:52) Heart disease acting up, holding his chest, concern for him, heavy breathing — (24:56) Sleeping, examined — (01:04:56) In a dangerous situation, pushed

Ep 11 : (01:43) Pushed out of harms way, worried for someone, emotional, crying, hugged — (24:45) Teary-eyed — (27:15) Begging the doctor to fix his heart, emotional — (01:07:29) (Past life) Suddenly in pain, holding his chest, coughing up blood, collapses, concern for him, dies

Ep 12 : (Repeat of previous scene) — (Present Life) (03:10) Crying — (Past Life) (43:29) Heart condition acting up, in pain, concern for him, in bed, pulse taken

>> More Whump List

>> Another Whump List with Bae In Hyuk

[nortism]

Nor's Les Mis Fic Recommendations

I've been scouring les mis ao3 for a few months now so here are my fav fics I've found. I've tried my best to tag tumblrs where I can but let me know if you are the author of any of these and I'll tag you!

Three Days (or The One Where Javert and Valjean Take a Road Trip Through France and Raise a Child) by zamwessel

Rating: E

Ships: Javert/Jean Valjean

Summary:

Javert calls what he thinks is Valjean's bluff about needing three days to find the child Cosette and intercede for her. The Inspector comes along for the ride -- and gets much more than he bargained for, in the process.

Notes: First Les Mis fic I ever read and its an absolute banger. It's pretty much exactly what it says on the tin and I'm a sucker for a kid fic so I absolutely adored it.

A Change of Bizarre Kind by M_Moonshade

Rating: E

Ships: Javert/Jean Valjean

Summary:

Six months ago, Doctor Henry Jekyll sought to escape the dramatics of London by coming to M-sur-M. Tonight his murderer pays a visit to the Mayor Madeline. (Being the Curious Case of Inspector Javert and Mister Hyde)

Notes: Criminally underrated. Jekyll and Hyde AU but I went in knowing very little about that book and I could understand what was going on. Each chapter contains bits from the past and present day until the timelines eventually add up which makes the main mystery all the more compelling. Also Fantine is alive and well which is always nice.

Our Souls Still in Fetters by Cinaed

Rating: E

Ships: Javert/Jean Valjean

Summary:

After Javert is assigned to discover a blackmailer within a public-house that caters to men who prefer other men, Valjean is unexpectedly drawn into the case. Together they must stop the blackmailer before any lives can be ruined...including their own.

Notes: This author has so many great Valvert fics but this one is probably my favourite. There's the classic "undercover as a couple" trope as well as old timey gay bars. Also a huge fan of how this author portrays Cosette and Valjean's relationship.

In Defiance of all Geometry by idiopathicsmile

Rating: T

Ships: Combeferre/Enjolras/Grantaire

Summary:

Amis House might not be the biggest student co-op, or the fanciest, but it's got something all its own. Specifically, smoke damage on the kitchen ceiling from that time Courfeyrac lit a political pamphlet on fire. In which there are secrets, pining, pancakes, and revelations, and sometimes the shortest distance between three points is not a triangle but a circle.

Notes: I love a good poly fic and this is one of the best. Also just a generally fun and wholesome friendship fic. Definitely a nice comforting read after all the old man angst I've got on here.

Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight) by Need_To_Comment_Rising (@aromantic-enjolras)

Rating: T

Ships: Courfeyrac/Enjolras, Combeferre/Courfeyrac (Its complicated)

Summary:

Enjolras takes a swig of his drink with everyone else, and then smirks at Courfeyrac over the rim of his glass. "You didn't seem to mind much me being bossy yesterday night when I had you in my bed..." At his side, Grantaire chokes on his drink and starts coughing. But how did we get here, you might ask? Well, let’s rewind. ------- Enjolras and Courfeyrac have had a friends with benefits arrangement for a while. But when Coureyrac starts dating Combeferre, Enjolras is left with the question of where he fits in the new status quo...

Notes: Another poly fic with aromantic!Enjolras. I love fics with unconventional relationship dynamics as well as people actually communciating with each other (though not before there's been some hijinks ofc). Criminally underrated.

How Marius (Painstakingly) Won the Hand of Mlle. Fauchelevent by writingsyrup (@syrupsyche)

Rating: G

Ships: Cosette/Marius

Summary:

When setting out to woo his beloved Cosette, Marius had never imagined that it would bring him to this: sitting at a dining table next to her grim-faced father, and staring at the marble that was Enjolras picking at his peas. Or; Enjolras and Cosette are siblings in 19th century France. Marius has to deal with the consequences of this.

Notes: Probably the best Marius characterisation I've ever read, he's just so awkward and weird bless him. I love a good awkward "meeting the parents" and this filled that hole in my heart. Is part of a wider series but can be read as a standalone.

Omnia mutantur, nihil interit by Apathy and saltedpin

Rating: M

Ships: Javert/Jean Valjean, Cosette/Marius Pontmercy

Summary:

Valjean's panting breath does not belong to him. He scrambles out of the bed and stumbles on too-light feet to the mirror in the corner, although he already knows what he will see. Peering back at him from behind a curtain of dark hair, wide-eyed, is Éponine Thénardier. Jean Valjean awakens one morning from uneasy dreams to find that something quite unexpected has happened during the night.

Notes: Cosette and Javert get bodyswapped and Marius is weirdly into it, if that's not enough to convince you to read this fic then idk how to help you. Not normally a huge body swap fan but this was absolutely hilarious as well as having some genuinely sweet moments. Also Theodule is there which means something to some people.

It's Not the Same Anymore by ShameDumpster (@shamedumpster)

Rating: T

Ships: Enjolras/Grantaire

Summary:

Grantaire is a bookstore clerk in his late twenties, and to everyone’s eternal disbelief, a father. It’s been years since he’s seen anyone from his former group of friends, after a falling out cleaved him from the ABC, but everything changes when Enjolras walks into his bookstore. Can they rekindle their friendship, or something more, while they both come to terms with how their lives have changed over the past decade?

Notes: SO SO GOODDD!! Top tier slowburn kid fic, I could wax poetic about it for days. Had me gripped from start to finish.

Acts of Mercy by cruisedirector and Dementordelta

Rating: M

Ships: Javert/Jean Valjean

Summary:

After witnessing and reporting a murder, Javert is dismissed from the police and takes a job protecting the women in a brothel, where many of his long-held ideas about justice are challenged.

Notes: Breaking, man from the 1800s finds out that life for women is hard. Such a solid redemption arc fic with some really memorable ocs.

Lynx's Claws and Wolf's Mane by Kaleran

Rating: T

Ships: None

Summary:

When he is older, when he is a prison guard, he thinks back to his childhood and realizes he had been considerably fortunate. "Prison is no place for a girl like you," his mother told him often, usually fussing with what rags they could use for clothing. "Forgive me for this, draga mea." And so, instead of a daughter, she pretended to have a son.

Notes: Completely canon compliant except Javert is trans and the impact that has on the story really adds an extra layer to his character that I find really compelling. Warning, it is very depressing bc canon.

[cherry-pop-elf]

TODAYS MY BIRTHDAY 🎂

Ya gorl is turning 23! 🥳

Damn. Well over a year on this account. And so much has happened and changed.

Nearly 700 followers, so many new friends, new mutuals, opened a AO3 account, starting my second semester as a sophomore for a Psychology Doctorate, just woah. I’m adulting! Lmao

And I’ve, somewhat, got my health kinda under control. Using my walker far more than my wheelchair, medicated and in therapy, I’m getting somewhere. Sorta. It’s still a tough journey but I’m doing something about it! And that’s the heaviest and hardest step. I’m taking ADHD medications, going to therapy, losing weight, and forcing myself to accept that it’s ok I can’t do everything. I’m still just as valid of my worth with what little I can do

Just woah. Writing it all down helps me kinda see that I did make progress in life. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, since I have so much wrong going on, but everyone’s got their own journey

And thanks yall for being part of it with me. Crossing fingers this year is the year I’ll get even MORE shit done! Woo!

Maybe this will be the year I finally get top surgery to!

And for those sending birthday wishes, and what not, I’ll be busy at the aquarium with my dad! He’s taking me on a day trip to the aquarium and imma enjoy it. Just me and the jellyfish. So know I’ll see them and do my best to respond when I can/at the end of the day

Thank you all for this amazing journey, and being there for me. Even when I take long breaks between writings, for the drawings I’m passionate about, the variety of hyper fixations, and of course my Weasley FamilyKinning

Thank you all! Cheers to a new year!

[callmearcturus]

okay so PC Gamer just scattered a bunch of catnip for me with an article about What If Each Fallout Game Were A Movie, Who Would Direct It and I am going to read this live and judge it

because I'm having a relapse, we all understand this

A focused, mature, pressure cooker of a movie that is short and stylishly violent? Better call the director of John Wick to take the directorial reigns. Personally, I find Leitch's movies tend to have rather underwhelming final acts, too, and also have a penchant for ending abruptly when you feel more could have followed, so he's the perfect fit for a game that's incredible until it very quickly ends without much fanfare. John Wick movies don't tend to be very wacky either, often depicting the hero's world as very serious (despite the ludicrous premise of the fiction), so again this feels a strong and apt choice for the OG Fallout. A Friday night action movie.

HMMMMMM. I feel like I disagree on the mode I would want FO1 to be in. Like, yes, you can play it that way, but FO1 is famously one of the first games to make Speech arguably the most important skill to have in a video game, so I dunno. I love Leitch and feel like while his sense of realistic-yet-stunning action is a trademark, I think the use of locations is even more of his thing, and when I think about memorable locations, I think more of FO2 than FO1.

I feel like I would give FO1 to some hyper-realistic scumbag who is more obsessed with Process than Enterta-- oh. Nolan. gdi I'd give FO1 to Chris fucking Nolan, him whomst I loathe.

Who better to direct this expansive and often wacky depiction of the Fallout universe than the director responsible for epics such as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, 12 Monkeys, Brazil, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, and The Man Who Killed Don Quixote? Gilliam loves a good road trip in his work, too, which fits with Fallout 2's Highwayman-based exploration, and his penchant for vast vistas with wacky and absurd details feels perfect. The combat scenes wouldn't be as slick as Leitch's Fallout movie, but characterisation and a more rambling, philosophical, off-beat narrative would deliver. Plus, Fallout 2 even has a Bridge Keeper encounter that directly references Monty Python and the Holy Grail, in which Gilliam starred. Watch on a Saturday night for a bit of everything.

......... I straight up cannot argue with that. No notes.

For a movie based on a game that is focussed almost entirely on squad-based combat in urban environments, combat where soldiers die in terrible ways and the horrors of war are all too apparent, I feel the director of The Hurt Locker, Kathryn Bigelow is perfect for this. Fallout: Tactics would be a war movie with a very tight focus and strong characterisation for just a handul of lead characters. Tense and at times adrenaline-inducing due to the flashes of extreme violence, but interspersed with soul-searching dialogue from its grizzled, war-scarred leads, this would be an erudite and focused Fallout war movie. Watch on a Monday or Tuesday night.

Looking at Bigelow's list of works is how I just now learned she also did Strange Days, so I think it's fair to say that this is giving her way too small of a pick. Give her FO1 and give Leitch FOT.

It would be so bad. Forget about A-bombs, everyone in the movie would drop an F-bomb every other line. Don't watch on any night.

Fucking weak-ass pick. Think about the history of how FO:BoS happened, i.e. they were trying to slap the Fallout license onto a completely different style of game without any respect for the source material. They swapped out Nuka Cola for Bawls product placement.

Give it to Zack Synder.

As the game that properly introduced V.A.T.S. system slow-mo to the Fallout universe, with kill shots shown off in glorious bullet time, there can be only one director for a film version of Fallout 3: the master himself, John Woo. Woo's stellar action movie work in titles such as Hard Boiled, Broken Arrow, Face/Off and Mission Impossible 2, among others, means the action in this game is off the charts. Slow-mo radiated doves and all! Woo handles the post-apocalypse war vibes well, too, thanks to his work on Windtalkers, while he communicates the hero's awakening into the future thanks to previous on Paycheck. A good fit for Friday night, thanks to the action, or midday during the weekend due to a longish, war movie-style runtime.

.....................

holy shit i cannot argue with that, that's genius. absolutely fucking yes. i think that's a perfect fit.

also, like, FO3 and Woo have the same "problem" for me, in that they know exactly what they are doing, it's just not my cup of tea, but there is a solid identity there.

yeah, fucking do it, give FO3 to John Woo.

SHUT THE FUCK UP

WHO WROTE THIS ARTICLE, AND DID THEY WRITE IT FROM MY FUCKING ATTIC?!

Casinos, gritty environments, extreme violence and heist movie vibes mean I think of Guy Ritchie for this film adaptation. Ritchie's also a fan of slow-mo combat shots, too, so we've got the game's V.A.T.S. system represented well, too, while the game's macho factional warfare as undertaken by factions like Caesar's Legion and the NCR, is right in keeping with Ritchie's love of gang-based conflict. There's not much romance in New Vegas, either, which is a weak spot for Ritchie, but as shown in movies like Sherlock Holmes, Snatch, The Gentleman, and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, he's good at holding together movies with various interconnecting narratives. His work on Aladdin also shows he can handle the comedic and wacky aspects of New Vegas, too. A mid-week action-comedy treat.

/rubs face

I am unfortunately a massive fucking fan of Ritchie movies. this is so powerful.

i think........... Ritchie is so thoroughly uninterested in saying anything philosophically profound, you cannot give him The Most Profound Fallout Game. like, I want to love this idea, I really do, but no.

....................... You need someone with snappy dialogue that actually means something, who is willing to veer into borderline magical realism, who loves an overdressed set, and who can manage a lot of different characters with well-reasoned motivations.

I think you need Rian Johnson.

OR DO I JUST WANT RIAN JOHNSON TO MAKE A VERSION OF "DEAD MONEY" THAT DOESN'T SUCK? WHO COULD SAY.

I feel Ang Lee is a good choice for a Fallout 4 movie adaptation, having good form in handling large and sprawling fictions with plenty of characters and side-stories. Just look at films like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Life of Pi as an example of this. He's got some form with action, too, thanks to his work on Hulk. There's probably more romance/relationship offering in Fallout 4 than in any other Fallout, and Ang Lee has form here too. The result, though, is a movie that ends up being a bit flabby and unfocussed at times, despite technically bringing more to the table than Fallout 3, and being funnier and lighter overall. Watch on a day off due to a chonky runtime.

what are you fucking talking about, Ang Lee's best movies are Brokeback and Sense & Sensibility, and his worst are probably Hulk and Gemini Man. Fallout 4 is the one where Bethesda just stopped pretending to give a shit about story and roleplaying, instead pivoting the game into a skinner box of tightly-honed but ultimately soulless mechanics.

I'm not even trying to mock Marvel, but I feel like the MCU's Design-By-Producer-And-Executive-Oversight is actually the answer here. It doesn't matter who directs it because the main voice will be a board room.

oh shut upppppp

Fallout Shelter would in some ways be the most obvious setup for a movie: the self-contained story of a vault-dwelling society, interspersed with the surface adventures of random dwellers. Sounds a bit like the TV show when you put it like that, which is why there's only one Nolan for the job: Christopher! Yes, fresh off Oppenheimer it is time for Oppenheimer 2, focusing on the aftermath of all-out nuclear war (hell, Cillian Murphy can even have a cameo as a brain in a jar, I'm that generous). Moody, intense, riven with twists you didn't see coming, and with all special effects done for realsies, this movie could only ever be rad. The only downside is that, like the TV show Silo, you'd spend an awful lot of time indoors.

absolutely fucking not. the thing about Nolan is that his shit is so meticulous, it like.... pitches past hyper-realism and lands in this weird uncanny valley of "he wouldn't fucking say that" but it's for a character you've only known for ten minutes.

FO: Shelter is about emergent storytelling that feels almost accidental rather than arranged or scripted. you need someone who is hands-off the script but can capture a.... good moment..............

oh god, it's JJ Abrams, isn't it? god dammit. or, frankly? Spielberg. so I'm saying no to the director i hate and offering instead two other directors i dislike, but for different reasons.

yeah. yep. that's what i'm doing.

SPITTAKE

As an MMO that takes many aspects of the Fallout universe to the extreme, it feels a movie version of Fallout 76 would be akin to a huge-budget, climatic MCU movie where it really helps if you've had previous with the series to get most enjoyment. As such, I feel the Russo brothers would take the reigns for Fallout 76. The result would be a jack-of-all-trades action-adventure that borrows bits of every previous Fallout to make something that appeals to a lot of people but, after watching, doesn't go down as something you'd rewatch for most all of them. Big, bright, wacky and action-filled, there's no doubting though that you get a spectacle and fun, though. Watch in two sittings over two nights (as the movie's runtime is 3 hours 47 minutes).

no. fuck you. i reject your premise. the Fallout game that shipped with no NPCs and expected the story to be entirely conveyed by set-pieces, environmental design, and audiologs?

resurrect Tarkovsky and give us FO76, desolate and beautiful with environmental shots that last seven minutes without a cut. because the only good thing about FO76 is the setting, the amount of effort put into building the actual space, so I want 90 minutes of film and seven pages of script.

Russo Brothers, get tf out of here

[mi-rae07]

Jung Wooyoung : As Good As You Were (Part 3/4)

Pairing : Jung Woo-Young (Ateez) and named character (Shin Naeun)

__________________________

Wooyoung was now helping the workers wheel naeun to the ICU, a doctor emerging from a room as she looked at naeun worriedly before muttering

??? : naeun.

Wooyoung looked at the unknown doctor in part shock as he asked

Wooyoung : how do you know my wife?

??? : she's my patient.

Wooyoung paused on his tracks as naeun was wheeled into the room, the nurses shutting the ICU doors in wooyoung's face as he let out a shaky breath. He felt tears in his eyes as he fell back against a nearby chair, his hands shaking in fear and worry. Her patient? Patient for what? Why hadn't naeun told wooyoung anything about this?

Wooyoung hoped it was just a minor inconvenience that could be solved quickly so they could go back to normal. It had to, right? The world couldn't be so cruel to wooyoung so as to take naeun away from him?

___________________________

The world was cruel after all.

??? : your wife has brain tumor, and it was already too late to be removed completely from her brain by the time we figured it out. That was probably why she didn't want to tell you, there was nothing anyone could do except wallow in their own despair from this news. Naeun-shi has maybe, another month or so left to live. After that the tumor would affect her brain activity, and that in turn will inevitably lead to death. I am so sorry, sir.

Wooyoung stared at naeun who was now sleeping on the hospital bed, an IV attatched to her wrist as the heart monitor beeped in regular intervals of time. Her heart, that beep, wooyoung couldn't believe it would last only for a month now. And naeun had known, she'd known all of this and she hadn't told him. He had dreamed of an entire life with her and now, now it was all gone.

Wooyoung still had tears streaming down his eyes, he just couldn't bother enough to wipe it away. He felt naeun shuffling against the sheets as she slowly opened her eyes, looking up at wooyoung as she whispered groggily

Naeun : w-woo?

Wooyoung : I hate you, you know that? I hate you so much I wish-I wish I could burn the entire world down.

Naeun looked around the room as her eyes widened, finally getting what had happened as she quickly sat up on the bed. Wooyoung sniffled, his shoulders trembling as he asked

Wooyoung : when did you know?

Naeun : wooyoung please-

Wooyoung : no more lies, naeun.

Naeun : the day before we went on that trip.

Wooyoung's face contorted as he tried his best to not let out a sob, shaking his head as he asked

Wooyoung : is that why you rushed the trip? And…and momo, that was…is that why you wanted to take her home so bad?

Naeun lowered her eyes as she felt the tears well up in them before saying shakily

Naeun : you said you wanted a family with me, and kids I cannot give you. So I thought-

Wooyoung : naeun do you think that a cat, or even a mere-a mere child can replace what you are to me? The…part that you hold in my life?

Naeun : wooyoung I have no choice.

Wooyoung : this is all my fault, I should've known-

Wooyoung cut himself off with a sob as he rested his forehead against naeun's lap. She could do nothing but cry in silence as wooyoung said

Wooyoung : all that while in the-in the trip I was doing everything with you thinking we could do this again one day when we…when we got older. And you, you were doing it all knowing it would be your last.

Naeun shut her eyes tightly as wooyoung cried against her lap desperately, shaking his head as he said

Wooyoung : you never should've married me, you should've married someone who could've treated you with love and care from the very beginning. Not four months before you…god!

Naeun : wooyoung don't say that, you've made me happy-

Wooyoung : happy for what, 3 months? After you spent 3 years being alone despite having a husband, despite having saved my family? I should be the one dying! I should've been the one on that bed not you! You've done nothing wrong-

Wooyoung cut himself off as the door opened, revealing wooyoung's mom with tears in her eyes as she said

Mrs jung : naeun-ah.

Naeun : e-eomma.

Wooyoung quickly stood up as he walked past his mother, heading out the room as he heard naeun call his name out. But he didn't respond back, how could he? How could he when his entire world was being taken away from him only a few months after he'd gotten it.

How could he when he never treated her right and now she was dying, and they had too less time.

__________________________

Wonjeong knew her son, she knew he would never forgive himself for this. Especially after what naeun had told him, that wooyoung had finally started treating her right. She knew this would happen someday, she just didn't think it would be too soon.

Wonjeong was now walking through the hospital gardens, hoping to find wooyoung somewhere. And soon she heard the desperate cries and wails of a man, knowing it was her son's as she walked towards it. She saw wooyoung crouched down on the grass, his head on his hands and his cries filling the garden. It hurt her soul, hearing her son cry like this.

Wonjeong : wooyoung-ah.

Wooyoung turned to look at his mother, his face red and damp with all the tears. He looked horrible, god wonjeong wished she could help her son.

Wooyoung : e-eomma. Eomma naeun she-she said she's going to leave me.

Wooyoung let out a sob as wonjeong shook her head, rushing up to wooyoung before hugging him. Wooyoung cried against her shoulder, wonjeong feeling her eyes tear up at how hurt wooyoung sounded. He'd never cried like this, not even when his father had forbidden him to continue his dreams.

His life had always been so unfair.

Wooyoung : this is all my fault eomma, it is all my fault I'm so sorry. I should've listened, I should've loved her when I could. And now…now I can't.

Wooyoung weeped harder against his mother's shoulder as he remembered what she'd told him months ago.

"One day, you'll lose her and you'll regret everything. And then you'll come to me, crying and begging for the forgiveness that is not mine to give"

Wooyoung shut his eyes tightly as his mother said

Wonjeong : sometimes life is unfair to us, wooyoung-ah. Naeun might…she might have to go soon but she'll never leave you, son. She loves you, even after she's gone she'll stay in your heart and your memories, forever.

Wooyoung : I don't want a life without her, eomma. I…I don't know how I could live without her.

Wonjeong closed her eyes, her owns tears sliding past her cheeks as she whispered

Wonjeong : you'll have to learn, my son.

___________________________

Naeun had been sitting against the hospital bed for some time now, wooyoung's mother already having said her goodbyes for the night. And yet wooyoung was nowhere to be found. She was just about to get up from her bed when the door opened, a drenched wooyoung stepping inside the room as naeun's eyes widened

Naeun : were you out in the rain?

Wooyoung said nothing as he closed the door behind him, sitting on the chair beside naeun as she said

Naeun : god, I'll go grab a towel for you. You're going to catch a cold otherwise.

Naeun quickly got off the bed before finding a towel nearby and going up to wooyoung, wiping his wet hair hastily as wooyoung whispered

Wooyoung : would this be the first and last time you ever dry my hair, naeun?

Naeun closed her eyes as she removed the towel from his hair, throwing it on the bed before saying

Naeun : wooyoung, we still have a month left.

Wooyoung scoffed as he said

Wooyoung : a month, 30 days? I wanted 30 years with you, naeun, not 30 fucking days.

Naeun : I'm sorry.

Wooyoung : what if I die with you?

Naeun's heart froze at those words

Naeun : what?

Wooyoung : what if I kill myself the day you die, hmm? Then we can be together again-

Wooyoung cut himself off as naeun slapped him, his head tilting to the side as she said in a shaky voice

Naeun : don't you dare. For all that you have done in the past I have forgiven you, wooyoung. But if you do this, then I will never forgive you. In this world, or the next, if you do anything to harm yourself after I'm gone, I'll never forgive you.

Wooyoung closed his eyes, lowering his head as he said nothing to that. Naeun stared at wooyoung for a while, not knowing what to say either. Then she held his cheeks, lifting his head up to face hers as she said

Naeun : I love you, wooyoung, I love you so much I cannot imagine if something would happen to you even after I'm gone. I can't bear the thought of you being hurt-

Wooyoung : and yet I have to see you hurt, see you die, see all my dreams with you get destroyed within barely a month. If you cannot bear the thought of seeing me hurt…

Wooyoung looked up at naeun with his teary eyes, the look on his face making naeun want to do anything to live, anything to stay. But she knew she couldn't. tears streamed down wooyoung's cheek as he said in an utterly broken voice

Wooyoung : then how can I see you die, naeun.

____________________

Wooyoung was now driving back to their penthouse with naeun just staring at him from the passenger's, not having said a word after they entered the car. Wooyoung had woke up today pretending as if yesterday hadn't happened. The doctors had told them there was nothing they could do so it would be better if naeun got discharged and spent the last few weeks of her life doing things she wanted to do. Wooyoung had just signed the papers and gotten naeun to leave.

He had smiled at her, smiled as if she wasn't sick and going to die. Naeun couldn't say that she didn't like it, it felt better when wooyoung didn't treat her as a patient.

Wooyoung : we're going to the beach today after this. So once we reach home and have breakfast, we'll go there.

Naeun : okay.

Wooyoung turned to look at naeun due to the one word answer as he asked

Wooyoung : why, do you not want to go?

Naeun : no no. Of course I do, anywhere I go with you is fine for me.

Wooyoung smiled as he turned back to face the road, one of his free hand coming up to coil around naeun's as she smiled, holding her husband's hand with both of hers. She liked this, and she wanted to feel this as much as possible. It could be her last time feeling it after all.

______________________________

Naeun was now smiling as she felt the waves crash against her feet, the sky above her slightly cloudy and not too sunny. Perfect for a beach date. Wooyoung was just watching her from the side, a smile on his face as naeun picked up water with her hands and threw it up.

She looked so beautiful, wooyoung had thought, and so he'd taken a million pictures of her within the past few minutes, the wind blowing her hair back and the light making her skin glow. She looked like an angel, the kind that made you forget about all your sins.

And then wooyoung remembered, it had been his passion to take photos, and yet he'd taken none of his wives. He had taken a lot when they'd gone out for the trip but now he was going to take it every time naeun did something, special or not.

Naeun : young-ah! Aren't you coming!

Wooyoung smiled and nodded before putting the phone back in his pocket, walking up to naeun as she held his hands before dragging him into the water as well. Wooyoung grimaced as he felt the waves crash against his feet, filling it with mud instantly.

Naeun : isn't it so much fun!

Wooyoung : ew, the sand's making me feel kinda thrown off.

Naeun : really?

Wooyoung : mhmm.

Naeun let out a mischievous smile as she suddenly threw beach water at wooyoung's face, making him scream as she ran away from him as fast as she could.

Wooyoung : MY FLAWLESS SKIN NO!

Naeun laughed as wooyoung started running after her, the water splashing against their feets as he caught up to her and picked her up. Naeun squealed as wooyoung rubbed his nose against her, smearing the beach water on her face as well as naeun rolled her eyes before saying

Naeun : you're stupid.

Wooyoung : but you love this stupid man.

Naeun giggled as she leaned forward, kissing wooyoung as she rested her palm against his damp cheek. And to the onlookers they looked like the most carefree couple ever, not a single problem plaguing their relationship.

Only they knew that this was another one of their lasts too.

_______________________________

A week later :

Naeun was now sitting with her head rested against the penthouse glass window that overlooked the city below them, wooyoung humming some music as he cooked dinner for them a few meters away from naeun. This entire week they had spent going around Seoul, even having gone to Jeju for a few days as a trip. Naeun had only ever visited that place for office deals, but wooyoung had shown her around the entire place within the span of 5 days, and he had booked another trip to Daegu for day after.

Naeun's eyes widened as a raindrop fell against the window, followed by another raindrop as the city soon disappeared under her due to the rain. She stood up from her seat, an excited smile on her face as she called out to wooyoung

Naeun : woo!

Wooyoung : yes I know it's raining. And momo get off the damned counter, you brat!

Naeun giggled as she said

Naeun : I'm going to the balcony.

Wooyoung : what!

Naeun didn't wait for a response as she rushed towards the nearby balcony, stepping outside as the cold rain suddenly hit her, drenching her hair and clothes. Naeun smiled as she closed her eyes, feeling the rain on her body. She had always loved the rain, and that was because of her parents. Because they'd bring her out with them when it rained and would play some nice music, the three of them dancing until they got tired and cold. It had been decades since she'd danced in the rain with anyone, and she missed it.

Naeun opened her eyes as she heard her favorite jazz music being played from inside the penthouse, the sound loud enough for her to hear clearly despite the rain. Was she dreaming this?

Naeun looked to the door as she saw wooyoung stepping into the balcony with a smile, walking closer to naeun as he bowed before holding his hand out for her to hold

Wooyoung : may I have this dance with you, my lady?

Naeun chuckled in disbelief, holding wooyoung's hand as she said

Naeun : but you hate the rain.

Wooyoung : but you love it, and I love you.

Naeun smiled as wooyoung stepped backward before stepping back in, holding his palm against naeun's as he walked in a circle around naeun who giggled before asking

Naeun : you know how to dance?

Wooyoung : I am a man of many talents, mrs shin.

Naeun giggled as wooyoung twirled her around, holding her by the waist right after before bringing her close again, their bodies following the romantic rhythm of the music.

Naeun : how did you know I liked this song?

Wooyoung : I heard you listening to it a year ago. And, you had this specifically be played at our wedding. This was the song we danced to on our wedding for the first time, remember?

Naeun remembered, and for them to be doing this again for the last time, the rain pouring down on them, naeun wouldn't have given this up for the world.

Wooyoung : I never told you then, but I thought you looked beautiful in that wedding dress.

Naeun felt tears prick her eyes as wooyoung twirled her around again, bringing them farther away from each other as naeun quickly blinked her tears away. As the music got faster wooyoung brought her closer to him again, whispering to her

Wooyoung : I wish we could do that all over again, marry each other again, so I could treat you as the bride you deserved to be treated as.

Naeun closed her eyes in pain as wooyoung lifted her up, spinning her around in his arms just the way he had done at their wedding 3 years ago. Except now he was looking up at her with love, so much love that it made naeun's heart well up in joy and pain. Joy of having found someone like him, and pain of having to leave someone like him behind.

The music slowly faded as wooyoung brought her slightly down, still looking up at her as he whispered

Wooyoung : let me do what I should've done years ago.

Naeun closed her eyes as wooyoung kissed her, their tears mixing with each other and the rain as naeun wrapped her arms around wooyoung's neck. And they soon felt desperation and need take over them, wooyoung carrying naeun to their bedroom as her hands worked on wooyoung's shirt buttons to remove them hastily.

And just like that, as the rain drops fell against the frosted glass windows of the couple's penthouse, their bodies joined to become one. As it was meant to be.

_______________________________

A week later :

Naeun was now playing around with momo as wooyoung set up the picnic mat at the park, the puppy running to get the ball naeun had just thrown before rushing back to her with it in momo's mouth as she chuckled and patted her head.

Wooyoung eyed them as he said

Wooyoung : she seems to like you. Whenever I come close to her she just bites me.

Naeun giggled as she picked momo up, her licking naeun's face making wooyoung rolled his eyes before saying

Wooyoung : only I'm allowed to do that though.

Naeun gasped as she whacked wooyoung's arm, making him giggle as he finally sat on the mat before putting out all the food for lunch in front of him. Naeun hummed as she sat beside him, momo cuddled up in her arms as she said

Naeun : ooh it looks very yummy.

Wooyoung : yes obviously, I made it after all.

Naeun : it suddenly looks very disgusting.

Wooyoung : okay then don't eat.

Naeun : actually nevermind I'll have it cuz you made it and I love you.

Wooyoung : totally not cuz it's delicious.

Naeun : definitely not.

Wooyoung smiled as he picked up a piece of sushi before feeding it to naeun, her humming as she mumbled

Naeun : heavenly.

Wooyoung : thank you, finally the appreciation I deserve!

Naeun giggled as momo opened her mouth as well, staring at wooyoung with eyes that said 'feed me too' as he sighed and gave the puppy a sushi as well. She seemed to like it as much as naeun.

Naeun let out a satisfied breath as she rested her head against wooyoung's shoulder, smiling as she patted momo before saying

Naeun : I wanted to come here one day with you and our kids.

Wooyoung pressed his lips together, naeun eyeing the family that was having another picnic a few meters away from them, the kids running around their parents as they laughed at their children's smiles.

Wooyoung : naeun-ah.

Naeun : I'm sorry I can't give that to you. If only I had more than a year left to live, I could've at least given you a child, an heir-

Wooyoung : I don't care about any of that. I'd rather not raise a child without it's mother to love them, it would be torture to have someone that keeps reminding me that if you were here, we could've brought them up together. It's either with you, or nothing darling.

Naeun smiled as she looked up at wooyoung, him kissing her forehead as he whispered

Wooyoung : you're all I need and want.

_____________________________

1 week later :

Today was naeun's last day at work, except no one other than naeun and wooyoung knew it. Naeun got sicker as days passed, and she knew that the rest of her last week in this world would have to be spent at her penthouse. And that was where she preffered to spend it, she'd rather she spent her last few days with her husband than at work.

She just wanted to feel all this one last time, this company that had been passed onto her by her parents, something that had been in her family for years. The work that accompanied her when she had no one, what helped her drown her feelings in. It had been the second most rewarding thing in her life, apart from wooyoung.

Mina : boss? You called me?

Naeun : oh, yes. I have something for you.

Mina frowned as she closed the door behind her, walking towards naeun as she stood up before handing over a bunch of keys to mina. Mina eyed it in confusion before asking

Mina : do you…do you want me to send your cars for cleaning, boss?

Naeun chuckled, shaking her head as she said

Naeun : those are the keys to a new house, a house that I have bought for you near the Han river. It'll make a beautiful home for your husband and you, and your newborn soon.

Mina's hands instinctively went to her stomach, her eyes widening as she asked

Mina : ma'am…how-how did you know?

Naeun smiled, patting mina's shoulder as she said

Naeun : consider it a gift from me for your services this past decade. And the other key, is for your new car. It's a Range Rover, I heard it was your favorite car.

Mina sobbed in gratitude as she hugged naeun, making her smile as she wrapped her arm around her secretary

Mina : thank you so much boss! I don't know…I don't know how I could repay you for all this.

Naeun : you don't have to, it's my gift mina.

Mina : you can be my son's godmother then, would you mind that? Being the first one to hold my baby after my husband and I?

Naeun bit her lips to prevent her tears, wishing she could do that. If only she lived long enough. Naeun pulled back as she smiled and said to mina

Naeun : of course. It's just that, if for some reason I am not able to attend it, would you let wooyoung be his godfather instead? Let him hold your son in my stead?

Mina : of course! I'm sure you'll be there but if by any case you aren't, then I wouldn't mind sir doing it either.

Naeun smiled and nodded, patting mina's back one last time before saying

Naeun : thank you, mina, for everything.

_________________________

Wonjeong : naeun-ah! I didn't expect you to come today. Is wooyoung not with you?

Naeun : he isn't, I just wanted to talk to you alone for some time.

Wonjeong : sure sure. Come in, the maids have made lunch. You can have that and go as well.

Naeun smiled and nodded as she stepped in, following her mother-in-law to the living room as she sat down on the sofa opposite wonjeong's.

Wonjeong : what did you want to tell me then, naeun-ah?

Naeun : it's about…wooyoung. As you know, eomma, I only have a week left to live. And after that, my company has to go to someone. And I wish for that someone to be wooyoung.

Wonjeong : oh, naeun-ah.

Naeun : I have written a will, it's in my office desk. If I told wooyoung this I know he would never let anyone take it, he finds himself unworthy to take my company as his. But it is my wish that he has it, as he is the man I love, and my husband. So after I'm gone, if you can, I want you to take the will and bring it to action. Wooyoung will only ever listen to you in this matter, eomma.

Wonjeong stood up as she sat next to naeun, taking her hand in hers as she smiled and said

Wonjeong : I will do that for you, I promise.

Naeun smiled and nodded before continuing with a shaky voice

Naeun : and um, after I'm gone, there would be no one left to really take care of wooyoung. I know it is too much to ask of you but if you could just make sure he's healthy, and happy. I just love him so much and I wish I could stay and take care of him but I can't…

Naeun trailed off as she shut her eyes, tears flowing down as wonjeong shook her head and hugged naeun. Naeun sobbed against her mother-in-law's shoulder as she said in a broken voice

Naeun : please take care of him for me eomma, please.

Wonjeong : of course I will take care of him for you, naeun-ah. I'll make sure he always remembers that you loved him, and always will even if it's not from this world.

Naeun nodded, knowing this would be the last time she'd get to hug her mother-in-law as she sniffled before whispering

Naeun : thank you so much, eomma.

Wonjeong smiled, wiping her own tears as she pulled back and held naeun's cheek before saying

Wonjeong : you're the best thing that's ever happened to my son, naeun, I hope you'll always remember that.

______________________________

[laughroditee]

🔴 "Your Ghost" | Part 1 - Knight of Swords

Read on AO3 CW: this story takes place after Soap's death and contains supernatural elements, tarot, mentions of death, and blood. This series will eventually contain smut and be 18+. Characters in this chapter: Evangeline Stephens (female OC), John "Soap" MacTavish Summary: An American tarot reader finds herself inextricably linked to John MacTavish, whose ghost needs a favor from her before he can rest. Word Count: 1471 

Mood Music:

On November 21, 2023, an excruciating pain shot through my head, causing me to scream and promptly pass out.  The dreams that followed in my unconsciousness were heavy and sad: bagpipes at a funeral playing their mournful melody for a person I didn’t know.  I had been at work that day, like any other day, but when I woke up, I was in the hospital.  Doctors ran so many tests on me, thinking perhaps I’d had a brain aneurysm, but scans of my brain were clear, and subsequent tests showed that I was right as rain.  Totally healthy.  I returned to my everyday life, with the only complication being the inexplicable migraines that continued to plague me.

Then came the wanderlust.  The nasal sound of bagpipes continued to wheedle their way into my dreams, and pretty soon, I became possessed with the need to go to the UK.  It became a matter of life and death.  I didn’t even have a passport, but knew I had to go.  Where exactly, I wasn’t even sure.  Scotland would make sense, considering the bagpipes, but my gut said no.  No, that’s not right.

So I did what any good woo-woo witchy person would do: I pulled out a map of the UK and my pendulum and asked for assistance narrowing down my intended destination.  Stilling my mind, I took a deep breath, focusing on the amethyst pendulum dangling from my hand.  The crystal twitched and spun before swinging slightly right, south on the map.  I followed the pendulum south over Scotland, past Northern England, toward London, but the crystal had other ideas, sending me back north.  It spun in circles around a location: Manchester.

That’s how, months later (had to wait for my passport), I found myself at the Brittania Hotel in Manchester, in one of their “standard twin rooms without a window.”  I never really knew how much I liked windows until I didn’t have one, but that’s beside the point.  At least I got a private bathroom, a coffee maker, and a TV, so I can’t complain too much for $44 per night.  Besides, this entire trip was an exercise in insanity, so why not add in some sensory deprivation while we’re at it?

As soon as I stood on UK soil, I knew this was the right place; that intuitive nudge felt like a soothing affirmation.  And that’s a great thing because simply being up in the air triggered another migraine, and I was afraid I’d puke on the guy next to me.  After unpacking my bag in the hotel room, I flipped a card from my tarot deck: The Knight of Swords.

The Knight of Swords talks about action, as all Knight cards do.  There’s a sense of motion, movement, and moving forward inherent there, with The Knight of Swords having the connotation of almost overwhelmingly swift movement; in fact, you can interpret it as needing to take heed that you’re not leaping before you’re looking.  (What irony.)  But that’s only one part of the story as the suit of the card will tell you what’s moving.  Swords in the tarot represent the element of air, so all things related to logic, ideas, communication, words, writing, and thoughts.  Holistically, you can interpret The Knight of Swords as needing to make sure you check your words before you say things so that you become aware of any potential obstacles on this path that you’re charging down. But, ultimately, you have the clarity of mind to overcome any challenges.  Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

However, the court cards in tarot can also signify people: kings as men or masculine energy, queens as women or feminine energy, and pages as children or youthful energy.  Knights, though, are tricky.  They can symbolize people of any gender, anywhere from age twenty-five up to forty, people who move in and out of our lives, physical travel, change, or pure energy and where you’re focusing it.  It can be hard to know what the “correct” interpretation is in any given reading, with so many meanings to consider, but I usually just go with my gut or pull some more cards for context.  In this case, why not both?

Pulling two more cards from the deck, I laid them out on the bed next to the first one: Death and the Three of Swords.  Contrary to popular belief, the Death card doesn’t usually mean death or foretell of someone dying.  It means change and transformation, the end of a cycle and the beginning of a new one.  The Three of Swords features an illustration with three swords stabbing through a bleeding heart: heartbreak, but sometimes literal heart health problems.

"Wow, bad day," I said as I looked over the cards.

I suddenly felt a presence in the room that wasn’t there a minute ago, the hairs on the back of my neck and my arms standing on end.

"Ye finally made it, lass."

My head whirled around so fast that the ends of my bobbed hair stabbed me in the eye.  I shot to my feet, spilling the rest of my cards to the floor.  “Fuck!” I whined, cradling my stinging, watering eye as I stumbled backward. 

Deep, apparently very amused laughter rang out in the room, and I was astonished to see a man there, wearing some kind of military getup, a mohawk cut into his dark brown hair. Oh, and he was semi-transparent.

I backed away slowly, my hand clapped over my eye.  There is no way in Hell.  “What the fuck, are you a ghost?” 

His expression sobered as he nodded his spectral head.  “Unfortunately.”  

“What do you want?” I asked, my voice a couple of octaves higher than it would typically be.  The urge to scream was overwhelming, and he put his hands out placatingly. 

”Easy, love,” he cooed, keeping his voice as soothing as possible so as not to spook me further.  “We have a blood tie.”

“What?”  The man — ghost? ghost man? — could tell me he was king of Scotland, and I don’t think that would change my hesitation or the level of existential panic I felt at that moment.

“We’re kin,” he said with a little more force, trying to reach me through my brain-melting anxiety.  “Family.  Somewhere along the line, we share blood.  Is it so hard to imagine?  Big world like this?”

“I’m literally talking to a dead man,” I say as my inner thoughts bleed out of my mouth.  Either my imagination is amazing, or I’m having a breakdown.  Maybe there really was something wrong with my brain, and they just couldn’t find it.  Maybe the migraines were making me hallucinate.

“Evangeline!” 

That caught my attention, my blue eyes snapping to his in shocked confusion.  “How do you know my name?”

He had the audacity to sound frustrated.  “Like I said, we share a blood tie.”

"Oh, of course.  That obviously explains everything.  I’m so relieved."

He smirked.  “Yer a wisearse ye are.”

Well, he did get one thing right anyway.  “How come I don’t know your name then?”

”Because I’m dead, and ye’re not.  It’s John, by the way.  John MacTavish.”

Examining him warily, I ask, “So we’re, like, cousins or some shit, John MacTavish?”

He shrugged, pushing his long sleeves up his forearms, which is such a mind-boggling thing to think about a ghost doing — like, what’s the purpose of that? Is he too warm?  “I dunnae know exactly, lass; I just know that I was pulled to ye.  And ye answered.”  It was then that I noticed the ghostly blood on the side of his head, his presumably fatal bullet wound in the exact place where I felt my migraines.

My stomach dropped into what felt like a vat of ice.  “Oh… Oh no. I’m not a medium!  I don’t see dead people!” I desperately pleaded with him, trying to convince him he'd gotten the wrong girl. “I just sling cards; I don’t do any of that other stuff!”

”And yet, here I am.  Here ye are.”  He put his hand on his hip.

“Yes, but… Why?  Why are you here?  What do you want from me?”  Then I saw his tattoo.  With a sudden motion, I moved quickly forward — I think I actually startled him — and I bent my head down to look at his forearm.  Nested inside of laurels was a sword with wings, topped by a knight’s helm and crown.

”Knight of Swords,” I breathed, astonished.  Rushing back, I grab my card from the bed, brandishing it as I return to where he stands.  “This is you?  You did this?”

The ghost of John MacTavish looked down at me with a serious expression.  “I did.  I need yer help, Evangeline.  Yer the only one who can do it.”

Part 2

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 19 thoughts

very tired. brain empty. only mulder and scully in there

i am sat for the evening, reading the episode description. i'm curious as to if a “technology of the future” mentioned is still going to seem futuristic after 30 years have passed since it first hit TV…

(author's note: yes. we still don't have instant freeze potion. and the main takeaway from this episode is that we shouldn't have instant freeze potion)

i wasn't sure what to expect with this one, but i thought it was pretty interesting! it posed some philosophical questions i hadn't really considered in the real world re: time traveling. in the end though, it was left ambiguous as to what would really happen at the conclusion of the episode, like always, and i think there is enough going on in this universe that for my own sake and the sake of mulder and scully, i am going to assume that time travel was cancelled.

but i liked this episode- apart from the frequent needles! eugh...

we open at MIT, where a guy is running. it looks pretty late at night. 

two people are yelling about a guy named mcfarland while this older man watches. the kids are ignoring this guy telling them that the street is dangerous because they instead want to be loud and argue or whatever, idc. 

this kid in the red jacket (later revealed to be named lucas) seems like a massive douche, and when old man proclaims that he is going to die at exactly 11:46, i feel no deep sadness on the matter. this guy is trying to save your life and you’re gonna treat him like he’s trying to get money off of you??? and be mean to him????

omggg self righteous MIT kids…. yeah i’ll say it. shut tf up!

the campus security officer takes the old man away, but he tells jason not to let lucas cross the street, because he won’t see the bus coming… jason seems shocked that the old man knows his name.

see, if i were jason, i’d take this grouch of a kid and make him wait it out. maybe go to a restaurant or something. if there is one that doesn’t require crossing the street. no ma’am. i will NOT ignore a death prophecy.

lucas is shutting down jason, saying they have nothing to talk about. but the bus approaches!!!!

and sure enough, lucas drops his papers at the predicted time….. and thus concludes lucas.

the bus driver says it looks like jason pushed him in front of the bus! i didn’t see that. but okay. 

intro time woo woo woo woo woo wooooooo

(seriously, it didn’t look like jason pushed him?? am i tripping? i mean, i replayed the scene just to make sure. and it did not look like a pushing occurred)

scully is looking at the photos from the accident, and we learn that lucas was a post-doctoral fellow, which perhaps explains his intense arrogance. although i imagine that sort of thing only really happens if you were a douche BEFORE the phd. it just gets worse after it has been conferred.

OH the tea is: jason was his ACADEMIC ADVISOR!!!! and the bus driver said he pushed him!!!!

damn. can you imagine??? i’m imagining this happening to me. everyone would be shocked.

also, shocked that jason was not a fellow student because he looked to be of doctoral candidate age. but he is actually dr. jason nichols, academic advisor in addition to the other roles i'm sure he plays.

but that's not the point.

and jason wouldn’t tell the cops what they were arguing about!!! suspicious…

mulder sits next to scully on the edge of the desk and they watch jason’s alibi tape- i bet it was a pain to ship that around

(at this moment i got a text and paused to answer it and it froze on a frame of mulder looking at scully as she ponders the case and oh my gooooood. oh my gooood)

“well, he goes on to tell a pretty convincing narrative and to give a rather detailed description of the old man” “what was he wearing, a long black robe and carrying a scythe?” <- she is smirking at her own stupid joke and i love her soooo much

mulder has a pencil behind his ear…. yeah. i love him too. they’re a package deal <3

and a further plot twist: the campus security officer that picked the old man up ALSO died!!

i see that it is now boston autopsy time. and i just prepared myself a meal. okay. we must pause and eat before continuing.

mmm that was yummy.

RESUME!

there has been internal disagreement about if they should cut or saw the campus security guy's body? now what the hell does that mean 

he’s frozen!!! as if elsa got to him….

she says something was inserted in his ear, which was a thermometer. and he was found on campus.

well, boston is just like that. you don't get your dunkin one day and you freeze about it.

oooo, this officer would drink and drive on duty!!! this is not good. bad bad bad thing to do. but it was only 28 degrees last night! not cold enough for a guy to get drunk and freeze to death in such a dramatic fashion.

again. boston. it’s like that.

his body is getting colder somehow! that makes no sense.

i love when mulder asks for scully's medical opinion :) she thinks maybe he drank some chemicals!!

BLEAUGH mulder makes a joke about hoping he can keep the body frozen until thanksgiving... nasssssty 😭

this provides no answers on the jason situation. if anything, it only raises more questions. time to go ask him!!!!

jason seems to think that mulder is lying about the guy being frozen to death which is a presumptuous thing… what exactly would he gain from lying about that lmao

oh tea…. the reason the two of them were fighting that night was because lucas was going to say that jason’s research data was falsified!!! and they were competing for the same grant… for cryobiology!!!

OHHHH HE STUDIES FREEZING BODIES. this is not looking great for him.

(we also see jason's girlfriend very briefly which becomes important later. her name is lisa. i did not write it down in my original notes because i did not know she would become a major character in the episode)

scully calls while mulder is doing the questioning, and says she found jason’s thumbprint on the security guard’s uniform!!! oh man. again. not looking great for jason. but i don’t buy that the story is that straightforward.

scully is so pretty………….

cut to a hotel where a man named yonechi is trying to check in, but the receptionist is saying there is no reservation under that name!!! this is very unfortunate for dr. yonechi.

and who comes in but OLD MAN FROM BEFORE!!!!!!! he is giving yonechi a key and says he came on behalf of dr. jason nichols…..

who is this old man… and what does he want…? he looks sick!!!! 

yonechi invites old man in and he shuts the door to his hotel room…. omg something is gonna go down… 

he says he owes so much to yonechi. now what does that mean? did he use his research for something?

“you found a way to substitute water with a sugar- trehalose” (sobs in humanities) what does that MEAN???

HEY WHAT, OLD MAN PUT THAT NEEDLE AWAY. NOOOO NO AWAY. NOT INTO YONECHI. 

YONECHI IS FREEZING TO DEATH. 

(my original notes there were far less readable, just know that)

damn, that prop of frozen yonechi is crazy. scully is investigating and i’m contemplating how it was made!!!

she notices the injection mark… and mulder says he was at the hotel with a man in his 70’s when he arrived!!! the mythical old man that jason has spoken of proves to be real!

scully is showing mulder “a nuclear magnetic resident spectra” (YESSSS TALK THAT SCIENCE SCULLY 🔥 IDK WTF IT MEANS) 

yonechi was injected with… something. scully strongly suspects jason (AKA dr. nichols) did the killing, but mulder wants to talk to someone else….

the girlfriend, lisa!!! jason’s dating someone from his lab!!!??? that feels weird. is that unethical? is she his employee? hm.

scully shows her the nuclear magnetic resident spectra and she grows quiet. yeahhh they're onto youuuu!

“lisa, you can tell us now, or we can subpoena your testimony in court” <- DAMN scully said you will NOT be hiding evidence from me!

STOP SAYING SCIENCE WORDS I DON'T GET IT

okay, so the stuff that was shot in yonechi: it’s a rapid freezing agent. i get that. jason thinks that if you do it fast enough, you can unthaw whatever you freeze better. but he hasn’t been able to test it because it doesn’t exist yet!!! 

well. i think something changed.

oooooo look at the virtual chemical… so high tech… watch it rotate… yeah, baby that’s the stuff.

it would be impossible for him to engineer the non-existent chemical synthetically… BUT SOMEONE CLEARLY DID because they found it in that guy!!!

but!!!! lisa reveals that yonechi might not be dead!!! so they put him in a tub of slime and then try to revive him

scully announces that this will not work, because his body temperature was at 8 degrees, and the lowest body temperature a human ever survived was 70. i love that she knows that. it warms my heart. even if it doesn't warm dr. yonechi's.

blehhh, they put some stuff in his chest and then bring out the shocky machine…. and he starts to come back!!!! omg???

but he starts to fight the machine (what does that mean??), and his temperature gets WAYYYY too high, and he’s gasping and screaming and i feel myself growing faint….

(god that scene was NOT fun to watch. it was actually straight up horrible)

AND THEN HE CATCHES ON FIRE???????

wait, is this the episode where we get that one line…..

(sadly this was not the episode with the spontaneous combustion line i have seen in screenshots💔)

the only guess they have as to wtf made yonechi burn up is that whatever it was that was used to freeze him provoked an opposite reaction when they thawed him out

rip dr. yonechi :(

lisa goes to talk to jason…… what does he know!!!!!

old man is on the bus next to her. RUN GIRL. SPRINT. use your youth as an advantage. he’s going after her and i’m wondering how tf he knew that other guy was going to die?????

NO DON’T STOP TO LOOK AT TIE DYED SHIRTS. ahh she is seeing him follow her in the mirrors and not just merely shopping... very clever

lisa goes up a bunch of stairs, which is arguably the best move to escape an old man, but he is still pretty fast. 

she confronts him… and he says HE CAN KILL HER, TOO!!!

bro... i know grant money is hard to come by, but COME ON!! 

he busts out the freezy needle and says he came here to kill her… but he walks away. who tf is this guy??????

he bruised tf out of her arm when he grabbed her!!! rude!!!!

scully once again reminds lisa to STOP HIDING SHIT and she confesses to FALSIFYING THE DATA TO GET THE GRANT!!!! OHHH GIRL!!!!! this is not good. and jason is covering for her. 

and the people who could have figured that she did that out are now dead!!!

HOW BIG IS THIS FUCKING GRANT, BRO???

she swears that she doesn’t know the old guy and that jason wouldn’t either, but scully comes at her with “if he would lie for you, what makes you think he wouldn’t lie to you?” <- ohhh she ate her up there 

mulder does his thing where he says “scully?” and tilts his head a little, which means "we need to talk about this out of earshot of the person we're questioning" and i love it very much

ohhh, someone thinks they’ve spotted the old man!!!

(really hate that composite drawing of him they’re using as reference)

woahh, that shot descended from the ceiling as they arrived to his hotel room… it was really cool. but he is not here!!

“i’m not sure if ‘living’ is the word i’d use on this place” <- after that other line last episode i just KNOW she needs to be comfy and cozy, which i respect immensely. get scully a blanket right away. i need her in a mountain of pillows. STAT.

she finds yonechi’s flight written down in a notepad, and mulder finds a picture of yonechi, lisa, and jason!! they must have had an ice science groupchat or something

mulder seems to think this is a photo from the future??? and that if lucas hadn’t gotten hit by that bus, jason’s research being falsified would be exposed and he’d never get to work with dr. yonechi.

of course, this is baffling. and i have to rewatch the scene to get a better understanding on what he is saying

she has had enough of his shenanigans “and if your sister is your aunt and your mother married your uncle, you’d be your own grandpa” <- LMAO she said you NEED to start making sense!!

“okay, so this photo that was never taken, when was it never taken?” <- BAHAHA this has been added to my mental list of top scully one liners

he says it was taken at least 5 years in the future when the mystery substance was synthesized in the future…. and the old man came back from the future to fix the past!!

well. time travel isn’t something we have entertained on here before. so that’s new. not sure how i feel about it when there is already so much going on in this universe.

HE SAYS THE OLD MAN *IS* JASON?? and that is how he knew all of the things!!!

i guess it does make sense… if you think time travel could exist…

(she looks at him with great skepticism) “although common sense may rule out the possibility of time travel, the laws of quantum physics certainly do not. in case you forgot, that’s from your graduate thesis” <- she looks annoyed at this LMAOOOOOOOOOOO 

if someone quoted my thesis back to me in an argument we’d have to start kissing sloppy style right then and there.

so wait this complicates things. she did a graduate degree AND an MD?? bro, how many degrees was she collecting!!!!! how long did it take!!! HOW OLD IS SHE??? how can all of his have been accomplished??? 

you don’t write a thesis for an MD, and even if you did it wouldn’t be in physics… maybe she did like a 4+1 program? she was speedrunning grad school? can someone who knows what her degree history looks like PLEASE explain this to me.

ohhhh and she argues right back… “the limits of human endurance would prevent such a trip from ever happening” get his ass!!

(he can quote her thesis but not remember her birthday… what is with this man??)

he says to show the picture to lisa and ask where it was taken, which i suppose would answer that question as long as she doesn't frequently have people take her pictures, in which case it might be hard to recall

old man seems very sick as he stumbles back to his spartan hotel room…. perhaps time travel makes you ill? and that is the limit of human endurance she has described??

OAUGHHHHH HE IS INJECTING HIMSELF WITH SOMETHING OKAY HELLO. I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING.

it seems to make him feel better. it makes me feel worse. but i suppose that is irrelevant.

gag gag gag gag. so he keeps internally freezing himself to feel better?

lisa comes in and asks “jason?” <- OHHH SHE CLOCKED HIM!!!! he says she made it possible!!!!

is this how we explore the multiverse in this world??? never thought we'd see the day. i mean, i guess weirder plot points have gone on than there being an x files multiverse, but i thought we had enough to deal with just on this planet, what with the murderers and ghosts and ghouls and all that

jason says she’ll meet a guy in ten years that has discovered “tachyons” (which is a real word, i assume, because my autocorrect fixed it for me) which are particles that can go back in time!!! but only for a few seconds and only at a temperature of absolute 0. 

the temperature thing seems very specific.

and then she’ll realize…. 

and he came back to kill her but couldn’t do it!!!! her hand is in his hand...

OH HE LIED!!! HE GOT HER!!!!!!!!! lisa is now FROZEN!!

while that is deeply sad, i am kinda glad he prevented time travel from happening in this universe. that would be a little too much.

mulder arranged for (young) jason’s bail to go show him lisa at the lab, and he straight up says right there that the old man they’re looking for is him. which had to be hard to hear

jason is being a dick as mulder tries to explain what happened…. he proposes that maybe his compound would allow for time travel by making people very cold and allow them to survive the temperatures of a wormhole. sure. i don't know enough about wormholes to dispute that.

jason seems to sober up a bit when he realizes that what happened to lisa is his fault in a sort of cosmic way, and not even mulder can come up with a witty response to that 

ooooooh, jason had to use a fingerprint scanner thingy to get into the lab, and it said he was already there!! a showdown of the jasons!!!!

mulder says please get to scully NOW as they’re trying to revive lisa and blehhh more needles stop with needles no needles please i ask so politely. scully is watching this go down and ordering her to put lisa back in the slime tub now!!!

scully you are so pretty…….

mulder is off to track down old jason, and i wonder if showing his FBI badge would really get him into all sorts of places such as this one, or if anyone would wonder if he was lying. anyway, the research assistant says that no one has come in. 

breaking lisa news: THEY RESUSCITATED HER!!! but jason wasn’t there!!!!

oh it really is jason vs jason time… who will win? the younger, inexperienced, but more sprightly jason? or the older and wiser jason with the weapon of freezing???

in the computer, all the files about jason were erased!!!! he is really trying to destroy his own work. mulder is running running running…

but young jason has found old jason! who is frantically typing. 

older jason's explanation of a world with time travel does sound pretty fucked up. but then young jason is beating up older jason trying to get lisa back. mulder arrives to say lisa is actually okay, and older jason stabs younger jason!!!

while mulder is trying to break through, the two jasons…. CATCH ON FIRE!!!

damn. mulder probably did not like to see that. i still consider his fear of fire canon. because i like it. i think it’s interesting.

scully is explaining to lisa, who is on a stretcher, how they saved her

scully is so sweet trying to explain she doesn’t know what was going on….. and has to tell lisa that jason is dead, and she is very sorry, but she’ll see her in the hospital 

mulder arrives!! he says they won’t find the second corpse- i guess that makes sense. if you die, i guess your alternate timeline self has to go with it.

oh my goodness, he's quoting her thesis again: “although multidimensionality suggests infinite outcomes in an infinite number of universes, each universe can produce only one outcome”

HE MEMORIZED THAT SHIT???

“i was 23 when i wrote that” oh my GOD SHE REALLY WAS SPEEDRUNNING DEGREES HUH???

so she must have done either a 4+1 or graduated undergrad in 3 years, 2 years for a masters, and then (insert however many years it takes to get an MD here)

no wonder she is so smart... damn, i love her.

so what implications does her proclamation on each universe having but one solution have?? will his compound and time travel eventually be discovered as scully’s thesis seems to predict??

cut to lisa at the computer… and thus ends our tale.

NOW WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.

so do we get time travel or not???

i actually liked this episode!! not the needles. but it was a super interesting concept and proved why we should probably not have time travel. something i already believed and now find myself agreeing with even harder.

it's kinda rare that i like an episode based off of its content rather than just the mulder-scully time the situation creates, so i'll give credit where credit is due.

i like to see scully be a smartass so this was a good day for me. AND that he has so much of her thesis MEMORIZED??? word for word???!! that is AMAZING. it really is like that though- sometimes you can quote a person's thesis rewriting einstein, but you cannot remember their birthday.

and maybe it was implied before, but i'm so happy to learn that scully got her masters when she was 23, and THEN went on to med school. that is the sort of information a fan like me needs to know to properly analyze a character, and it is fascinating! so she probably graduated early- either in undergrad or high school. and she got her masters in physics, right?! or something along those lines??

we forget how fucking smart she is because the narrative is skewed in mulder's favor with the whole "werewolves are real in this world" thing, but goddamn. she is really a genius who can tell you exactly how someone is dying and fix it, OR administer the death herself via her sharpshooting skills, AND gets stuck dealing with the bestie babble alien nonsense while she tries to figure out how to rationalize all of the universe's inexplicable phenomena through the lens of a scientist. AND she paid attention in catechism.

is she not one of THE best characters of all time???

[vuliyshenanigans]

Sten'auga, a troll from my Pathfinder setting played by my partner. She's a druid with a boar companion. She's trying very hard to prove herself cool and mysterious and wise.

So far she has: - Yelled at everyone over the landshark being fat. - Begrudgingly accepted that the landshark is fat because she's spoiled, which she has damn well earned. The bandit gang got her from a black market auction where she was treated horribly. - Called the horse-boy a fantasy slur to his face. He kicked her so hard that she nearly died on the spot. - Winged making a familiar then proceeded to follow it on a wild goose chase for at least an hour in the middle of the night, trying to find the OTHER familiar that snooped around the party's tent. It took a trip around camp to figure out that the 'familiar' she made mostly wanted to eat stuff, call it a day, then pass on like a spent tissue. - Created a one-sided rivalry with the catfolk chef regarding his ability to cook good food. He knows his food is good. Her angerly downing 3 bowls of his lasagna was more than enough proof. - Tricked the goblin doctor into thinking the woman that ran into the dungeon and died didn't actually die (her body got taken over by isekai-thaumaturge) but is now going by a different name and doesn't know shit about the world. She might have died for a little bit actually. But she got better. The goblin doesn't know how magic works and has just accepted that whatever the druid says must be true. - Lost a battle of dominance where Tamayo wanted to give her and Igis (the thaumaturge) some sweets for helping her chase away those pesky fox spirits. Auga ended up accepting the sweets, thus submitting to grandmama Tamayo's might as the resident old wise woman. - Attempted to woo the horse man. He has yet to swoon. Surely if she keeps acting aloof and cool he will swoon eventually.