#or implied at least lawl

[carma-tjol]

girlfailure

[squidflavoredsoup]

Let me get this straight.

You tell proship people not to interact, using the word 'proshit' too. Meanwhile, you have a 'ponysona' who is modeled after Homelander. 'The Boys' is a show that on multiple occasions, makes jokes out of rape. One character is raped by getting his gills fingered and while it is meant to be an intense scene, it's also meant to be satirical and funny. Someone also dies from being sounded. It's a hilarious show, but not one that, if you actually stuck to your 'proshit dni' ideals, would accommodate because the show makes jokes out of serious topics. Friend, you're literally telling YOURSELF to dni. If not that, you're saying, 'well, I can like this show because I'm not one of those other gross nasty weirdos', and are unable to understand why that is fallacious.

Anyways. You've also made at least one piece of art where another one of your OCs is chumming around Homelander. So let me get this straight. Homelander is a man who was groomed from birth to be a public entity and his moral are extremely effed up. He kills people without mercy, he doesn't really have much of a conscience. So if that's the case, why is your OC with him unless they've been written to be accepting of Homelander? Or if your OC is a self-insert, would that not mean YOU'RE accepting of Homelander? That would mean you're a bad person!

Within the context of the show, everyone in Homelander's circle is either in on the toxicity, or accepting of it, because that's how their whole business goes. They're in and endorsing everything, or you're out. So why is your OC with them? You're depicting them being friendly to homelander, that must mean you're endorsing supporting murderers and manipulators. Not to mention Homelander looks very annoyed with your OC touching them, implying the OC is somehow able to make Homelander, a generally unflappable and confident guy, annoyed in the first place.

I can't express enough how fucked up your hypocrisy is. Or how deep your self-loathing must be, that you just can't admit you like fucked up fictional scenarios, and instead have to yell 'proshit dni' from the rooftops. Maybe it's just to cover your ass? And you hope the very blatant hypocrisy on display won't actually get on other antis' radars? But spoiler, it definitely will at some point.

Frankly... This is incredibly sad.

lemme try to explain bc i can so see how u think that way

first off that’s not an oc or a self insert, it’s my sona (i think i tagged it as self insert cuz it’s me but idk yk tagging n interaction shi)

i chose the pose bc i thought it’d be funny to further push the point that i don’t take him seriously— i made him look annoyed/angry at me bc dude he would HATE me if he were real lawl ik im annoying— but then there’s also the “guess who’s getting their brains blown out today” as like a threat of sorts

bc he SUCKS

i’m not “accepting” him or anything it’s more like teasing (?? idk what other word to put it rn) like just being annoying

[krsonmar]

I just watched the Gail episode again and I need to do some Group Theorizin’. Yes, the medicines. We're talking about that. You know how in that post I made about The Guide I was talking about misdirection? I'm seeing exactly the same thing here except it's more audacious (which is even hawter lawl). Our attention keeps being drawn back to the medicine because Guillermo keeps mentioning it and dropping the bottles...and yet we're more invested in what's going on with Nandor and his love life, so Guillermo keeps dropping those bottles just to remind us they're there! I notice he doesn't call them "medication", he calls them "medicine", which I think might matter. "Medication" denotes something you take regularly, for maintenance, whereas "medicine" suggests something you take as needed...at least to me. I've been on meds for chronic conditions since elementary school (huzzah for my goofy neurology lol) and I only ever stopped to think about this in regards to this scene, so maybe take it with a grain of salt, but I sort of feel like if someone is used to taking a daily prescription of some sort, at some point it ceases to be "medicine" and starts to be "medication" (or just plain old "meds", but I notice Guillermo doesn't use that word. Again, might be significant, might not.) What I'm pointing out is that obviously these are for Guillermo, but they seem to not be something he takes everyday or on a regular schedule.

So he's got some kind of medicine for use as needed, and it needs to be refrigerated. There's quite a number of bottles in there, so that implies he either needs to take or keep on hand a decent quantity at whatever time it might be needed, or else there's multiple prescriptions acting together.

This is where I need your help, fellow nerds of WWDITS Tumblr (do we have a name? We need a name but that's a separate post). With my relatively limited knowledge of non-neuropsychiatric medical conditions or any that might be classified as something other than neurodivergence--basically, something more strictly physical than brain-related--the first two conditions that come to my mind are diabetes or HIV/AIDS.

Now both of these could get dark to discuss, and I'd argue in this particular case, diabetes could be as foreboding for Guillermo as HIV/AIDS. Because our boy is presently nailed inside a coffin somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean for at least two weeks, and I don't think Laszlo put those bottles in there with him. Putting a diabetic human in a coffin on a cargo ship with Oreos, Pedialyte, and no insulin is not gonna work, so I think this theory is kaput.

At the same time, I would think Guillermo's dream of one day being a vampire would be squashed by being HIV-positive; I feel like both conditions would be noticeable by a vampire drinking his blood, but whereas diabetic blood might just have a different taste to it or have more or less of whatever nutrients a vampire gets by on than non-diabetic blood, HIV, whether it has progressed to the point of AIDS or not, is liable to infect the drinker. This is a small enough leap to assume Guillermo would make this realization on his own easily and that he'd know that vampirizing him would infect whatever vampire is doing the job for him, rendering his dream of being made a hemophagic immortal himself out of reach. So I don't think the medicine is either for diabetes or HIV/AIDS because narratively, neither one works. But we know he uses some kind of medicine--possibly regularly, possibly as needed--that he needs to keep on hand and keep refrigerated. There are medicines that need to be refrigerated other than insulin or prescriptions to manage HIV/AIDS, but I'm not sure what specific ones. And it is interesting to note, if Guillermo has some kind of chronic health condition, that puts his lifelong desire to be a vampire in a new light. Yeah, we've all surmised he wants to be powerful and sexy, but what if that's coming from some skewed perception of himself as frail? What if what draws him to being undead is that he's afraid of death, and mortality is more pressing an issue for him? He's stayed adamant about wanting to be a vampire for 12 years, which means both that he's been able to wait 12 years--his health didn't start deteriorating around year 5 or something, which would make the issue more urgent--but he also hasn't given up on this goal either after all this time of watching other familiars die quickly after being hired or cycle out once they get older. He watches how miserable Nandor is with being immortal and how Laszlo and Nadja have to keep chasing new thrills to stave off the boredom of not being able to die, and he still wants this. He wants this bad.

So this is just some tidbits I've gathered and I'm wondering what ideas anyone else might have. Any theories? Any ideas of what other kinds of medicines might need to be refrigerated and what those might be for? It's Friday night so of course I'm on Tumblr let's go kiddies let's gooooooooo!

[evilelitest2]

"Anyone who doesn't think debate is a cult recruiting tool is an alt-right fascist trump supporter troll" -evileitest2, showing us how to debate in good faith.

oh @gservator good to see you again, though really pretending to be an anon ? Thts kinda beneath you honestly, I am actually disappointing.  Maybe you don’t know how this whole anon thing works, after all you though @strejdaking was anon.   Also that isn’t what debate in good faith means 

But ok, lets pretend that this is just a random anon, and lets pretend this is a real question worth engaging with. 

The thing is, almost nothing on tumblr is ever a true debate, espicially with the Alt Right 

As somebody who talks a lot especially online, I think debate and discussion are valuable, and I used to do debate in college and high school, and i can get pretty pedantic about fallacies and argumentive style.  But thing abotu debate is...the other person must be willing to follow the rules.  

THe Web 2.0 Libertarian wet dream that is the internet likes to imagine tumblr as a place of debate and discussion, people have different opinions and they can change each other’s minds.  And they does happen a lot but we cannot mistake this for a real debate ground because it is lacking two things

1) A moderator 

2) Any requirment that people involved debate in good faith

On the former, this website is very monitored, so there is no neutral abritator who can come in and dock points if somebody isn’t following the rules.  In actual debate clubs, there is a third party who can be like “hey that isn’t acceptable behavior”.  See if i’m talking to a white nationalist on the internet and they rely on just saying slurs over and over again like a giant child, there is no moderator to go “stop that” the only times you can have real debates on this platform is if both parties happen to agree too it.  I might argue with somebody civilized and reasonable like @mel-esprit and that can be a debate, but that is because both of us are are choosing to follow the rules, which Alt Right types don’t do.  

Secondly good faith.  A good faith argument is one where the person is saying it because they mean it.  This sounds obvious bit it isn’t, a lot of times people bring something up without really believing this at all. Tucker Carlson is a great example of this, he invites people on his show all the time to “debate them” but the uncomfortable reality of his show is this....Tucker Carlson has no reason to ever change his mind. 

Like lets say I went unto his show to argue that putting children in cages is bad, and I made the best argument possible, and in fact was able to convince him using facts and reasons, and he saw my point...Do you think he is just going to go “oh hey, I guess my entire world view is wrong, nevermind then”  Of course not, he runs a TV show and is paid a lot of money to argue conservative talking points, do you think he is just going give that up?  It doesn’t make what he might personally believe, his livelihood and reputation are based upon him advocating a world view and so he will stick to his original argument no matter what evidence is presented in opposition.  Because he isn’t arguing in good faith.

A lot of people on the right love to bring up arguments even though they don’t believe them, because its an evasion strategy.  

For example, right now we are dealing with the fact that the Trump administration is putting human beings in concentration camps and at least 22 people six of whom are children have died.  Every bit of information that gets out of these heavily guarded and secretive ICE Camps implies horrific abuses, from torture, molestation, threats, lack of hygiene, starvation, lack of medical services and deliberate dehydration. Which you know...upsets people and makes the Trump administration look actively evil (because it is).  So you see a lot of Trumpkins instead trying to avoid talking about the camps and instead change the focus of the argument like saying ‘Oh Obama did this” or “Lets redefine concentration Camps” or “Lets focus on the fact that they are BREAKING THE LAWL”*, all to try to keep you from focusing on the main point “these are fucking concentration camps where we are depriving children of soap.”  Because they are trying to avoid addressing the morality and instead make it a partisan issue so Trump supporters don’t have to really think about how horrific the policies they are supporting really are.

*Just to clarify a lot of these people trapped in the camps are Asylum seekers, refugees, or legal migrants and thus aren’t breaking the law in any meaninful way.  But even for those who illegal migrants, the law also states they are supposed to be treated humanely because breaking the law doesn’t mean you don’t have access to human rights. 

Finally lets be frank, a lot of Alt Righters are emotionally broken immature morons who dont’ have the self reflection necessary to debate at all.  Like if somebody refuses to ever recognize they are wrong, why would you even bother debating them?  I mean its like debating Trump, it doesn’t matter if you prove what he did was a lie, he will continue to claim otherwise, and so the only reason I can imagine bothering to debate him is if you want to make fun of how stupid he is.  So I don’t bother intellectually engaging with people who obviously aren’t interested in real arguments, so I usually respond either to make fun of them or to let my followers know what kind of weird moon logic these guys are operating under.  

Btw, you know just by putting “ “ around something doesn’t actually mean you are quoting somebody right?  

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Soulless Riffing: Brainless Ch. 2

I got a supernatural action/romance book series as a gift that’s just riddled with stuff that I hate….and as a steampunk Victorian London action romance story filled with werewolves and vampies…it’s yeah gonna be easy to poke fun at.

I just want to say, it’s totally cool if you like this story or ones like it!  It’s certainly a better caliber than a lot of what I make fun of….however…I can’t help but want to make fun of it.

Over here for the 1st chapter

SO FUCK IT HERE GOES!

Chapter 2

An Unexpected invitation FOR ME TO RANT ABOUT EXPOSITION!

Before I get into the meat of this chapter, allow me a bit of ranting time about some exposition we get in both chapter 1 and 2 here.

Even though Alexia was told she’s a rare and super cool SOULLESS when she was 6 years old. NOBODY IN HER FAMILY knows she’s Soulless. And I’m sitting here like…

????????????????????????????????????

There’s no fucking way any 6 year old can keep the secret that they have cool powers for longer than 10 minutes.  Especially if they weren’t told it was something to keep quiet about, and especially, ESPECIALLY if you’re telling a girl who grows up to be an out-going woman who’s confident about defending herself.

It’s as if there is some dramatic reveal on the horizon where her family finds out and is mean to her for being born BADLY.

SPEAKING OF BEING BORN BADLY this bit of characterization burns my biscuits a big one.

Alexia is considered unfuckable for a few reasons.

1.)    Big Nose, face isn’t considered traditionally pretty. – Okay that’s a good addition

2.)    She’s too STRONG-WILLED – Okay sure

3.)    She’s half Italian.

Woah hold up there…

Sorry, not sorry, but I hate this cowardly, cynically pandering horseshit.

Can that make sense in this pseudo-bullshit historical setting? Sure.  But we also have fucking werewolves and vampires.  The fact that they chose for her ~lower status~ to be tied to the fact that she’s A DIFFERENT KIND OF CAUCASIAN is deliberate and pathetic. They author wants to pander to women who feel like they’re…

“NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS” but at the same time don’t want to risk the book not selling if HEAVEN FUCKING FORBID there was a BLACK AND/OR FAT AND/OR TRANS AND/OR LIVES WITH A DISABILITY woman on the cover.  It’s just pandering to that extra shitty part of white people that’s like, “I’M A SECOND CLASS AMERICAN CITIZEN BECAUSE MY HERITAGE IS IRISH AND A LONG TIME AGO THE IRISH WERE TREATED SHITTY!”

Were the Irish and the Italians treated shitty in historical contexts?

Oh absolutely!  

Problem is this woman published a Victorian styled book that’s full of steam punk, yiffable supernatural vampires, in 2009. When you write it in the modern era and it’s full of fantasy bullshit and you want to make commentary about discrimination and prejudice? Don’t try to jam that in with a leading woman who’s an upperclass, straight, able-bodied, neruotypical, white, skinny, cis-woman but like THE BAD KIND OF WHITE!

Is it a book written from a problematic perspective? Not necessarily, but it’s fucking cowardly and you can get the hell out of my face with that gutless trite.

I have a feeling this is going to be an on-going theme too. People being discriminated against EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE COOL!  This chapter already implies that Vampires, Werewolves, Scottish People and YES even Scientists (for reasons) are discriminated against even though ALL OF THE ABOVE are well represented in the upper echelons of high society.

Can you be rich and respected but still be discriminated against? Yes, of course, but…it’s very hard for me to picture any of these groups as hugely oppressed when they’re dripping in money and good social standing. I’m so dreading the scene where somebody says something blatantly and maliciously racist about her powerful, wealthy werewolf boyfriend and Alexia stands up and GIVES THEM WHAT FOR cause she TOO knows what racism feels like cause a dude she asked out once was like, “Eww ur half-Italian no way lawl.”

I’m white, but Jesus Christ, fucking white people.

So with a page of me bitching about exposition out of the way….Alexia, her mother, her 2 half-sisters, and her step-father are all gossiping it up at the breakfast table. And boy howdy is it apparent what the author and by extension, what she thinks her audience would find shitty.

YES YOU GUESSED IT! Her younger half-sisters are

PRETTY BLONDE GIRLS!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW COULD THEY!?!?!??!?!?

But they do have the negative trait of being SHALLOW!

Yes Alexia stand in judgment of those women who care about how they look.  Let’s ignore how every outfit you don, is lovingly described in detail, and that there were at least 3 separate situations last chapter where you fussed about how you looked.

Just to be clear, I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with the author happily describing elaborate, Victorian outfits, or a woman fussing over her looks. I’m saying it’s bullshit that she snidely calls them shallow and insipid from atop her ~NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS~ throne while engaging in the same fucking behavior.

GO TO HELL ALEXIA!

So,

There’s an article in the paper about the dead vampire but there is no mention of Alexia in it. When asked if she knew anything about it she derails into huffing about how she wished she said more mean shit to Lord Macaron. When like…I’m sorry? You both said some sassy stuff, but HONESTLY? You violently killed a man at a ball, and got out of that REALLY FUCKING EASY, and while Alexia insulted Macaron to his face the worst he said to her was she was as covert as a sledgehammer and immediately apologized for it. (BTW, he said this in response to her DEMANDING to be given a job that doesn’t exist but she will get one like it in t-minus 5 chapters.)

Shouldn’t you be…I don’t know…a bit more concerned that a mysterious man attacked you last night, and there could be more like him out there RIGHT NOW rather than you didn’t have enough witty one-liners on hand? Get over yourself Alexia.

So let’s settle a bit.

She goes out huffing on a walk with her Bff Ivy Hisselpenny to calm herself down.

Even if Ivy is also an outcast due to voluntarily wearing SILLY HATS!  I’m calling it now she is a cinnamon roll that must be protected from Alexia’s “I’m best girl” narrative.  May I say I find it a gross misuse of time to use a paragraph to explain the difference in French/English Fashion by their introduction but spend 2 words, “Hideous bonnet” on describing the silly hat? FOR SHAME!

Thankfully Alexia doesn’t’ incessantly tease poor Ivy…yet.  On their walk they are stopped by Mable Dair who tells Alexia her Vampire Matriarch, Countess Nadasdy, wishes to see her.  

Everything about that situation screams bad fucking news for her.  Again, thankfully, Alexia has enough brains to try to determine HOW BAD that situation could be.

So she sees token gay and vampire friend Lord Akeldama.  The author makes no qualms about characterizing him as the floucniest priss that ever ponced a sissy.  Now, I’ll confess, I have a guilty pleasure for fictional gay stereotypes that bleed into problematic territory. 

EH-HEM!                        

Yet Lord Akeldama is not doing it for me.  It might be the fact that since this is kinda Young Adult territory that you can’t be subtle. But I can’t help but feel condescended to with the tons of IMPLIED nods to how gay he is. I’d almost rather she just come out and say, “THIS MAN IS SOOOOOOOOOOOO GAY…HE IS A DICK WITHIN A COCK WITHIN A PENIS! HE’S LIKE A TURDUKEN BUT IT’S A DICK-COCK-IS!” Instead I’m tapping my fingers going, “Oh this new line of dialog now makes it the 67th new cutsey flower-based nickname he’s calling Alexia by! Thanks cause, I missed all the previous 66 of them!”

To be honest, I might be being a bit too judgmental here.  Like with all things I love a lot, I can be a bitter opinionated bitch about what I consider good and bad versions of it.  So anyway Akeldama doesn’t have much to add besides

“Create more sexual tension with that Hunky werewolf wiener”

BOY HOWDY AM I LOOKING FORWARD TO MORE SEXY AND ROMANTIC DIALOG LIKE…

“UR A BIG STINKY FART-FACE!”

“I KNOW WHAT YOUA RE BUT WHAT AM IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII? NEH!”

Say something Nice Faps:

Lord Akeldama being interested in Alexia makes some sense due to her soulless ability. The author makes a point about how he likes holding her hand and feeling human. So even if Alexia is insufferable or nothing special otherwise it makes sense that this vampire would enjoy her company for that at least.

They describe Mable as both chubby and very good looking. CAUSE TURNS OUT YOU CAN BE BOTH!

As I said, Alexia at least has enough brains to get some info before driving straight into the fire here.

[arbitrarygreay]

So I mused that Josie and Jed seemed to be the Squad Chads before, and decided to think about what canon really says. Who of the main cast is having the most sex at the Salvatore School? Who is not necessarily getting it, but still macked on the most number of people? In ascending order: Ethan: This show really trying to tell us Ethan did not get it?????? Arm or not! Kaleb: only Cleo? This show is really telling me that Kaleb didn't get it, despite winning the entire vampire faction vote for stuco???????? This is the man who got to be mission-boyfriend to both twins simultaneously! When you're good, you're good! Hope: Lawl. 2 kissing only, with Roman and Landon, sex only with Landon? They didn't even let her fake kiss anyone for the mission! Landon: Tied with Hope. Relationships with Hope and Josie, sex with Hope. MG: So many kisses! Lizzie (relationship), Penelope, Dana, Kym, Alyssa (relationship), additional flirting with Nia. Unclear if he had sex with Alyssa. Rafael: Sex with Lizzie and presumably Cassie, mission-kiss with Josie. Man, crushing on Hope really harshed his groove. Cleo: Relationship with Leonardo Da Vinci and Kaleb. Unclear if Cleo and Kaleb got to the sex stage. Finch: Relationships with Josie and Maya. Based on Sheriff Machado's stories, though Maya definitely got it. Lizzie: Sex with Rafael and Sebastian, with no whinging over first time stuff with Rafael, implying that she had at least one partner before that. Additional kiss with MG, additional love interest Ethan. Implied, however, that she stole a lot of prospects from Josie pre-series. Josie: Sex with Penelope and Finch, relationship and kissing with Landon, additional kiss with Jade, additional mission-kiss with Rafael. Also Maya apparently had a giant crush on her. Definitely the record holder on number of canon on-screen relationships at 3. Jed: Sex and relationship(-ish) with Alyssa, Ben, but due to being at least Alyssa's booty-call, is easily the one with the most canonical sex during the show's run. Alyssa: Relationship with MG, booty call with at least Jed, implied probably had additional booty call options.

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @youngmoneymilla for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Eliza, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

13

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I did love writing OC’s because I have a lot of fun with physical description. However, that was when I wasn’t aware of Reader Inserts since I just recently came back into the fanfic world. Reader Inserts are great because I have to work that much harder on giving them a backstory/personality and not focus at all on physical description. Plus, everyone gets to read the work and hopefully find themselves in it. The only thing I hate is being unable to use a name. I can’t write “Y/N” bc it bugs me haha.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Ummm Angst probably? I’m a huge horror fan so, I’m trying to incorporate that into more work.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

“It Would Have Made it True” just because I didn’t really connect with it that much and the ending was rushed.

5) When is your preferred time to write? 

11 am to 10 pm haha. I’m an asshole and write a lot during my job.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from? 

I have about a million fics bookmarked from over the years, literally fics from when I was in high school to now. They’re so gorgeously written and they inspire me to write. I pretty much only read non-fiction outside of fanfic so, that doesn’t really work.

7) What’s your favorite scene that you’ve written?

Bathtub/Bedroom scene in the second part of “Bungalows and Baths”

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Yep. In one fic, I included a descriptive characteristic for the reader that implied she was white. It hadn’t even occurred to me but, I immediately fixed it when someone pointed it out.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why? 

Tossup between Bucky and Steve. Bucky has the very obvious trauma and grief that’s interesting to write about but, Steve has a lot of buried darkness that’s subtle and extremely intriguing.

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Maybe Bruce? I don’t care that much for his character (despite the fact I love Hulk)

11) How do you come up with the titles for your stories? 

A lot of the time, it’s a line that’s said throughout the narrative. However, I have a word doc filled with random quotes I like and I usually throw something together. I always think up the title at the end and it’s always an afterthought. Titles blow.

12) What do you think is the best idea you’ve had for a story so far?

I am currently writing a Bucky x Reader fic (TRYING TO AT LEAST) that is going to take the team to New Orleans. It’s going to involve vampires since I wrote a novella about vampires back in high school and want to re-explore that mythology. However, there is going to be a lot of twists and it won’t be an AU, it’s just introducing the possibility of vampires in the MC universe. The reader and Bucky will both be struggling with the idea of themselves as monsters and trying to help themselves through that. It’s going to be a lot of voodoo and magic and angsty “will they, won’t they”. I’m going off on a tangent now but, that’s the gist. I have not written an actual series in a long time so, this would be my first one.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

There are many half-filled one- page word docs on my desktop that are rotting away as we speak. I just get bored or think of something else.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I’d love to do more fics with the same reader from Bungalows and Baths.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Lol I’m actually annoyed with how I ended 6 Times right now. Not sure why.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Omg I admire so many but, here are a few.

@bitsandbobsandstuff – obviously for her “Safe with Me” piece which is fantastic, emotional and well-paced. Pacing/keeping the reader on their toes is the hardest thing for me in a series and so, I really admire her ability to do that. I also LOVED her “A Million Invisible Threads” piece because it’s such a gorgeous character study on the Winter Soldier

@a-splash-of-stucky  – She’s the Queen of Angst duh and a GORGEOUS writer. I love her stuff. A Messed Up Place left me weak.

@imhereforbvcky – Her “Mirror for the Sun” fic inspired me to start writing from Bucky’s POV actually. She’s just a beautiful writer.

@tilltheendwilliwrite – I love everything she writes. I love all the mythology she brings to her fics while still staying within the Avengers universe. Her smut is on another level, too. I find myself rereading her stuff again and again.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Here and there. There are definitely moments in a fic where I think why did I keep that. It’s usually because I ended it too quickly or just wanted it over.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence? 

I love music when I write fics. It’s all movie scores. I have a spotify playlist for it.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

I’ve cried (ish) when writing anything that has to do with alcohol/substance abuse. I’ve been in and out of AA for the past two years and have finally started recovery again. I also have depression so, writing about that can leave me raw. Writing truly always helps though.

20) Which part of your fics have been the hardest to write?

SMUT. Jesus Christ. I struggle so hard with making smut sound hot, as well as lyrical so, it can fit with the narrative. I don’t want to reuse anything I’ve used in other fics before or repeat words but, it’s SO hard (pardon the pun). I always forget what position they’re in and where the body parts need to go. It’s legitimately why I have yet to write a Stucky x Reader fic. I can’t introduce another person into my difficult SMUT journey.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow? 

I usually have a general idea and I’ll have a very vague outline going. I just write everything out like word vomit and go back and edit.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction? 

That some of the best stories I’ve read aren’t necessarily the ones with the most likes or comments. I stumble upon stuff and wonder “HOW DOES THIS NOT HAVE 2K LIKES”.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

That’s tough. Maybe the stuff I wrote in the beginning where I didn’t have many followers. I loved the concept of “You Don’t Mean for it to Happen” but, sometimes I want to rewrite the whole thing. I put a lot of myself into “I Think of You All the Time” but, I feel like that got some good traction. IDK.  Bungalows and Baths got a crazy amount of love. Did not expect that but, v grateful.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at? 

Nope. I appreciate any love haha.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Well, I think it goes without saying that every reader character has a little bit of the author in there. I think I pull from some of my friends but, not really.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten? 

Someone once said that their soul was marked by “Bungalows and Baths” which was amazing haha.

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I haven’t really gotten criticism other than that time I screwed up on including a feature for a white reader. I felt terrible about that.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Not really. I don’t have people to share them with haha.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

My best friend knows but, she doesn’t read fanfic. Shockingly, my mom and sister know but, I told them that they could never read them. I just share reviews with them. My mom likes to know that I’m staying creative.

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written? 

Oh jeez idk if I have one. Natasha isn’t considered a minor character but, she usually plays a side character in my stories and she’s fun to write for.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Once I get started, I’m usually good at keeping it going. Music helps.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

Probably slow burn romance or one of the lovers is injured/captured. I also am a huge sucker for love triangles because I’m greedy AF.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Lawl this might not have been the first one but, I read a Lizzie Mcguire SMUT piece when I was maybe in 6th grade and was severely chilled to the bone. I was trash even at 12.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Angst. I always write better when I’m emotionally distraught and tortured. Although as I get older, I realize this isn’t fabulous for my own mental health.

[the-librarians]

Run Away and Build a Life

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale/Reader (OFC)

Warnings: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, There’s alot of angst here folks, Emotional Roller Coaster, Ransom is not a complete asshole here

Word count:   6,422

Author’s note: Eternally grateful to my muse and beta @waywardodysseys​

AO3 Friendly Version: click here

Summary:  You and Hugh Ransom Drysdale have been together for three years when the two of you make plans to run away to Europe. On the day the two of you were supposed to leave, you disappear without a trace leaving Ransom frantic trying to figure out what happened to you.

Seven years ago…

His lips are soft against your skin. Your neck is tingling, the flesh raised with goosebumps from each kiss he plants. You are hyper-aware of the sensations around you. The softness of the sheets underneath you, the tingle of the slight stubble of your lover’s facial hair coming in, the soft breeze drifting through the window. A contented moan escapes your lips, “Hughie…” you whisper as your head lawls into his. “Yes? What do you want, my little Billie-Goat?” He asks you, the words dripping from his mouth are sweet as honey. “We need to get some sleep. We have to be up early in the morning. You know if we are late your parents will somehow blame me for that.” Your words are strained trying to fight through rising pleasure in your body. Hugh’s kisses cease. He softly grabs your shoulders and turns your body so you are now sitting in his lap instead of on the bed. His fingers softly push the stray hairs from your face, “What if, we didn’t go? What if we left, bought some plane tickets and went to Europe? We could find a quiet town, settle down, build some kind of business and maybe finally get you that billy goat you always wanted.”

You giggled. Your hands coming to cover your mouth attempting to suffocate the laughter that was threatening to spill over, “are you serious?” You stare into his beautiful ocean blue eyes, they are completely serious. “You are serious, aren’t you?” You don’t think you could handle it if he was actually joking about this. Hugh nods, “I am completely serious. Your passport is up to date, and so is mine. Why don’t we? We can finally get away from my family. What do you say?” His expression is hopeful as his eyes search yours.

“Yes.” There was no need to think it over because you both had been talking about this for the last two years. “Yes, Hughie, let’s do it!” You throw your arms around him, hugging him tight. Hugh finally releases the breath he was holding and laughs happily in your embrace.

He can’t help but bowl you over on top of the bed and kiss your body all over. “We need to pack! I am going to take you home so you can pack and I will buy the tickets.” He said between kisses. His kisses end with a final kiss on your earlobe where your small heart-shaped birthmark mole resided. It was his favorite thing about you. Once the two of you dressed, you headed out the door.

His fingers were interlaced tightly with yours when he pulled up to your apartment building. Putting his Beamer in park, he leaned over kissing your face all over. You giggled happily in his embrace, “I can’t pack if you have me held hostage in the Beamer, silly.” You tried returning as many kisses as you could.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” He smiled through his apology, kissing you one final time. “I will see you soon Billie-Goat.” He gives you a wink as you exit his Beamer and head into your apartment to pack.

————–

The phone continues to ring. He’s beyond worried now, he is frantic. Something is wrong. She always answers her phone. Billie, babe, come on, answer your damn phone. Hugh talks to himself as he paces her apartment.

Her things are gone. Her suitcase, clothes, phone charger, toiletries and jewelry. All the things she needed to run away with him were gone. She was gone, but where was she? Her car was gone too. Your voicemail picks up, the sweet greeting replaying yet again. “Millicent Combs you better answer your goddamn phone right now. I am at your apartment, you aren’t here. I am really fucking worried, call me back.” He pockets his phone and heads to the police station.

“I’d like to report a missing person.” He tells the desk sergeant and explains the situation.

The officer tells him point blank, “I am sorry mister Drysdale but we can’t do anything until she’s been missing for 48 hours. That’s our policy.” Hugh doesn’t like the answer and causes a scene. Which leads to a brief stay in a jail cell until his father, Richard, is sent to collect him.

His father is cold as usual. He has no sympathies for his son or his missing girlfriend, whom he never liked to begin with. “I told you she was trouble, boy. And I had good reason not to like her.” His father spoke as he dragged his son towards his car. Upon reaching the car, his father reached into the back seat pulling out a manila folder, slapping it against his son’s chest. “She was nothing but an orphaned gold digger. And I guarantee you she ran off because she wasn’t getting what she wanted from you. I told you to be careful, all these innocent doe-eyed girls wanting a pretty boy with a trust fund. You, my son, are a prime target.” His father snorted, the sneer on his face ever present.

Hugh looked over the papers in the folder. He couldn’t believe a word he was reading. This wasn’t you, it couldn’t be. You two had been together for nearly three years and he never ever got the feeling you could be this person. This gold digger , as his father put it. Hugh shook his head in denial, “you are wrong. This isn’t Billie. Something happened to her and I am going to find her.” He threw the folder back at his father, angry at him for even implying that Billie could ever think to do something like that.

————–

Two years of scouring the earth, of private investigations and of dead-ends. Hugh has lost hope. He found himself becoming angrier and angrier every day. His drinking began to increase at a dangerous rate. Maybe, his dad was right? Maybe she ran off without him. He couldn’t think straight anymore. The little billy goat stuffed animal of yours sat on his dresser, ever present and now nothing more than a taunt to him. He began to hate you. His heart was shattered. You were the love of his life and you left him. The worst part is, he didn’t know why. He angrily grabbed the toy and threw it in the trash. Only to, moments later, fish it out of the trash and stare at it. He stroked it, remembering the day you gave it to him. He couldn’t bear to have it around anymore. So he put it in a box, along with everything else that reminded him of you and buried it in the back of his closet; to be lost and forgotten among the clothes there.

Over the years he shut himself off emotionally. He became a cold distant womanizer. If his parents thought he was nothing more than a ‘trust fund baby’, then that’s exactly what he would become. His relationship with his parents became almost non-existent except for a few parties he was forced to attend. The once good relationship with his grandfather became strained.  He thought if he partied enough and buried himself in enough easy pussy he could forget your face. He changed his name too. He couldn’t stand to hear anyone else call him Hugh or Hughie. He became Ransom. Nothing could hurt Ransom. Ransom was invincible.

————–

5 years later…

Ransom hated these parties. His parents had to smooze everyone in town in order to keep their steadily declining real-estate business afloat. The room was full of socialites and waiters serving drinks. He saw his parents across the room, acting like a happy couple, when in reality his father had been cheating on his mother for years. He was currently on mistress number three, at least by Ransom’s count. He didn’t bother exposing Richard, Ransom would rather be a spectator and watch the situation explode when the time came. It gave him something to look forward to.

He was on his third glass of champagne and absolutely bored out of his skull. A waitress comes by and he puts his now empty glass on her tray when he catches a glimpse of her as she silently passes him by.

His breath caught in his throat. He had to double take as his eyes followed the silent waitress. He could only see the side of her face, but her facial features are unmistakable. “Billie?” He thinks he says aloud but it only comes out as a whisper. Ransom doesn’t realize he is following her until he sees her turn down a hallway. He’s hot on her trail and when he finally catches up to her, his anger over takes him. He grabs her arm roughly, trying to pull her towards him. “Billie? What the hell?” He all but shouts.

The sudden movement scares you. Your first reaction is to take the tray in your hand and hit whatever is grabbing you. The tray makes a connection and the grip on your arm is loosened. Whatever grabbed you hits the wall. When you turn to see what it was, you realize it’s a man! You drop the tray in surprise. The clattering sound of the metal tray falls on deaf ears. Your gaze is locked onto the most beautiful blue eyes you have ever seen in your life.

The man in front of you looks angry, very angry. You start to realize that he is angry at you, which breaks the spell. He begins to raise his hand at you, which causes you to flinch and fall to the ground cowering in fear.

Ransom is recovering from being hit with the tray. He hears the sound of the tray hit the ground, the metallic sound echoing in the hall. He raises his hands, shouting, “what the hell?” when he sees you fall to the ground, cowering. You must think he’s going to retaliate for hitting him, but why would you cower from him? Ransom is asking you where you have been and what you are doing here when he is interrupted by a shout behind him.

“Hey, what the hell are you doing, asshole?” A brunette woman comes up from behind him and gives him a shove. The woman quickly comes to your side. Ransom notes to himself that she is checking you over and doing something weird with her hands. All you do is nod, not saying a word.

The woman turns from your side, shooting daggers at Ransom, “what the hell do you think you are doing attacking my friend?” She asks but she’s doing that weird thing with her hands again, “do you get off on attacking defenseless deaf girls?”

Wait.. WHAT? That catches his attention. He then realizes this brunette woman is signing her words so you can understand her. “What do you mean, deaf? She’s not deaf.” Ransom scoffs. You aren’t deaf. Your hearing is perfect, or was perfect, the last time he saw you.

You are giving him a confused look, as you look between him and your friend Tina. You are trying to figure out what he is saying. Your lip reading skills are still average at best.

“WOW. Are you serious right now?” Tina asks exasperated.

Ransom pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance, “look, lady, I am sorry. I was just trying to ask your friend here some questions, okay?”

Tina eyes him suspiciously, “why, what do you want with her?” You perk up at what Tina signs. This man wanted something from you?

“I was trying to ask her what she was doing here, and why she was here. She looks identical to my girlfriend that went missing seven years ago.” He confesses with pain behind his eyes. He sighs, “but it can’t be her, my girlfriend wasn’t deaf.” He pauses for a moment, scolding himself for his actions. God, he really has turned into an asshole. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare your friend. Can you tell her I’m sorry?”

Tina signs to you, telling you what was said. You honestly couldn’t fault the guy after what Tina told you he said. You stand, dusting your hands off on your apron, when you offer him your hand as a gesture of acceptance.

Ransom takes your hand and shakes it. He studies your face carefully, noting the scarring on your forehead near your hairline. “What happened?” He asks, gesturing to his own head.

Tina answers for you, “she was in a really bad car accident years ago. I found her wandering the side of the road. She had severe head trauma, lost her hearing and memories in the process. Only clue she had to who she was, was a ring she had on with a name engraved on the inside.”

Ransom feels like all the wind was knocked out of him. He goes pale white and weak in the knees. “What’s her name?” he asks Tina. He felt like he was going to puke.

You notice the sudden change in his demeanor when Tina told him what happened to you. You study his face carefully. Something in the back of your head is itching and starting to throb.

“We aren’t sure what her name is, I’ve been calling her Billie this whole time because it is the name that was on the ring she had.” Tina confessed.

His mouth is dry. He can’t stand anymore. Ransom falls back against the wall, his body slumping to the floor. You and Tina fall to his side, trying to see if he is okay.

“This- this ring…” He breathes out carefully, trying to keep his champagne down, “was it a silver braided ring? Did the engraving say, ‘I love you Billie’?”

Tina’s wide eyes are on you, signing what he asks desperately. Your shock only matches her, when your hand comes to your chest where you wear the ring on a chain around your neck. You quickly take it off, grabbing his hand and dropping the necklace into his now cold and clammy hand.

You are nervous, your body is radiating and on edge. This man knows you. He knows who you were. Finally after seven years you could get some answers.

Ransom feels like he is going to pass out. His fingers toy with the ring in his hand. He gave you this ring on your first anniversary. You never took it off. He looks at you, studying you. The tears in his eyes are burning and threatening to spill over.

The blue eyes that are staring at you make you feel uneasy. It’s been too long since any words were spoken or translated. Your nervous habit of tucking your hair behind your ears reared its ugly head. That’s when he saw it. Ransom saw the small heart-shaped birthmark on your ear.

“It is you.” He choked out, the tears now fell freely. He looks desperately at Tina, “can you tell her what I am saying?” Tina nodded when he drew his attention back to you, “Your name is Millicent Combs. My name is Hugh Ransom Drysdale. We were together for three years. I gave you this ring on our first anniversary. It says ‘I love you Billie,’ because I loved you, I do love you still. I called you Billie because you always loved billy goats. Seven years ago we were going to run away and move to Europe. You went missing the day we were supposed to leave. I looked for you for two years but there was no trace of you anywhere.”

You had a hard time keeping up, trying to both pay attention to this man and Tina’s translations. The itch and throb in the back of your skull was getting worse.

Ransom turns his attention to Tina, “you said you found her wandering the side of the road?” His eyes are pleading now. He needs any information they have. He needs to figure out what really happened to you.

“Yeah, Billie was wandering around all bloodied up on this old county road about a mile from where my house was at the time. I was on my way back from work around midnight when I saw her. Communicating with her was hard at first but I convinced her to get in my car so I could take her to the hospital. Like I said before, she didn’t have anything on her that led to her identity. Hospital called the cops but they turned up with nothing. When she was in the hospital overnight, I drove down that road hoping to find some kind of crash sight but I came up with nothing.” As Tina told her story Ransom pulled out his phone and was furiously texting the private investigator he had hired to find Billie years ago.

“Can you tell me the exact road you found her on?” Ransom asked, trying to give as much detail to the investigator as he could. Tina told him everything, even down to the mile marker she stopped at. That night was very memorable for her.

You tapped on Tina’s shoulder, telling her to pose a question to this man, you wanted her to tell him about your nightmares. You always thought they were memories but nothing was ever solid. “Right.” Tina nodded to you, “she wanted me to tell you about the nightmares she has. Always relives that night but she always said she would hear really loud honking behind her, and felt like she was being pushed.”

Ransom’s furious typing ground to a halt, “someone was running you off the road.” He said directly at you. Tina only confirmed what he said, “yeah that’s what I always thought.”

“Did she ever remember what this other car looked like? Maybe a make, model or color?” He asked hopefully but was met with both Tina and Billie shaking their heads no. The phone rang in his hands, it was the private investigator calling him. Ransom stood up, “please, excuse me for a minute.” He stood only a few feet away from them. He didn’t want to stray too far from his Billie now that he found her again.

‘Are you okay?’ Tina asked you.

You let out a shaky sigh. ‘Yeah, just really overwhelmed I think. This is a lot of information I was not expecting to find out tonight.’ Your vision starts spinning, the throbbing is starting to take over and you fall into Tina’s arms.

Ransom is giving instructions to the investigator when he sees Billie collapse. He quickly hangs up and runs to her aid, “hey whoa, whoa, what happened.” He’s frantic.

Tina is patting your face softly trying to coax out a response, “this happens sometimes when she gets overwhelmed. The doctor said it’s from the head trauma, she should come to, in a second.” Five long seconds later, your eyes flutter open and focus on those beautiful baby blues. Your hand weakly comes to your chest and you sign to them you are sorry.

“I want to take her to one of my doctors. Do you think she would agree to that?” He asks Tina, and Tina asks you. Tina explains neither of them can pay for some expensive high-end doctor. Ransom seemingly picks-up on this silent conversation between the two of you when he butts in, “I will pay for everything, don’t worry. Neither of you will have to spend a dime, seriously. I just want to make sure she is okay.” He’s almost begging at this point.

Tina explains to you what he said, and after a moment of consideration, you agree. It would be nice to have a more qualified doctor take a look at you. The smile that broke out on Ransom’s face was electric and you couldn’t help but smile in return.

“Thank you so much for taking care of her. I am going to call my doctor friend and set something up for tomorrow.” He shakes Tina’s hand gratefully. “Can you both come to Mount Sinai Hospital tomorrow at 9:30? I will meet you in the lobby.”

Tina tells you what’s happening and you tell her it’s okay. “Yeah we will be there.” Tina helps you up. “Do you mind if I take her home now? This has been very overwhelming for her.”

Ransom didn’t want to say goodbye but he knew he would see her tomorrow morning. “Yeah, sure, sorry. You two get home safe. I will see you tomorrow.” He offered them a signature Drysdale smile. He watched the women walk slowly arm in arm towards the exit and he let out a shaky breath.

He knew he was right. He should have trusted his instincts, he should have trusted you . His Billie didn’t abandon him and she still loved him or at least he hoped so, judging by how well taken care of the ring he gave her was. However, that didn’t erase the fact something happened to her. Someone ran her off the road. Someone tried to kill his woman. He briefly returned to the party, squinting in suspicion at all the people that were close to him in life.

————–

The next morning you and Tina arrived at the hospital and just like he said, Hugh Ransom Drysdale, was waiting in the lobby. A doctor came moments later, and you were surprised to find  the doctor knew sign-language and was telling you what you should expect today. The doctor took you over to the sitting area while Ransom held Tina back.

“They are going to give her all the tests they can. She is going to be well taken care of, I promise.” He tried to reassure Tina who seemed on edge.

“Yeah, sorry, this just all seems too good to be true. I’ve had her with me for the better part of seven years. Billie is like my little sister, I am very protective of her.” The last bit of Tina’s words were stern, almost as a warning to Ransom.

He chuckled slightly, “I get it. Trust me I do. I am really grateful you found her and took care of her. I thought she was gone. I didn’t know if she was alive or dead. Neither option settled well with me, but after two years of no answers, I gave up. I gave up on her. She was three towns away this whole time, no idea who she was, or who I was.” He scoffed at the irony of it all. When he gave up, he shut himself off from the world, emotions, hope and everything good he wanted nothing to do with it; and now here he was emotional with a hopeful heart.

“Well, I wouldn’t put too much blame on yourself. It sounds like you did everything you could. It’s not like you did this to her. Whoever did this is sick in the head. Who on earth could want to hurt such a beautiful person?” Tina asked.

Ransom couldn’t help but nod in agreement because that’s exactly what he was trying to figure out. “Can I ask you a question?” He turned to Tina, “was her voice affected in the crash, is that why she doesn’t talk?” He had wondered since last night.

“No, well, not at first.” Tina confessed, “when I found her she was asking what was going on, and kept telling me she couldn’t hear what I was saying when I asked her what happened. Over time she just stopped talking altogether. The doctors said it was psychosomatic and happened sometimes. She talks sometimes when she wakes up from a nightmare, she’s either screaming or yelling though.” The explanation broke Ransom’s heart.

Before the pair could continue their conversation, the doctor came over with you. “Alright folks, we are going to take her up to the fifth floor and get started.” You held up a finger in pause as you took your necklace off, knowing you wouldn’t be able to wear it during the tests. Tina held out her hand to take the necklace from you, but you shook your head and handed it to Ransom. “Hold on to this for me.” Tina translated your sign to him.

Ransom smiled, fisting the necklace and held it to his heart, “I will guard it with my life.”

————–

Tina was out getting lunch while Ransom waited in the waiting room. His fingers twisted the ring on his pinky nervously. Only a few more tests to go. It had been hours now.

Ransom stood and stretched just as Tina stepped out of the elevator. She handed him a cup of coffee, “I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I got you black with some sugar.”

He took it happily, “thanks.” Just as he took a sip his phone rang. “Yeah?” It was the investigator. He told Ransom that he found the sight of the crash. “What, really? Where?” The investigator tells him that your car was found in the middle of the woods off an old dirt road and crashed head first into a tree. Your purse was in the busted up glove compartment and your suitcase was found in the trunk even after all these years. The investigator definitely suspected foul-play. He said he found dents and scrapes of paint all along your rear bumper. “Is there any way you can find out who did this?” Ransom asked. The investigator said he was going to call in a favor to see if he could get the paint tested to see if they could tell what kind of car it was by the paint job. Ransom ended the call and told Tina what was found out.

“The investigator is going to drop off her belongings with me if you want me to bring them to you guys. Maybe something in her purse or her suitcase can jog her memory?” he offered.

“Yeah that sounds good.” Tina replied just as the nurse was wheeling you out of the double doors in a wheelchair.

“She told the doctor she wanted to come out and check on you two before she went into the next test.” The nurse supplied the explanation. Tina laughed and shook her head, a smile ever present on her face, “yes mom, we are fine.” Tina signs and says aloud. “You are the one getting poked and prodded and who knows what else and you want to make sure that we are okay? Typical.”

You stick your tongue out at her in defiance. Ransom laughs at the scene.

————–

It’s been a week since all the tests were done to you. Ransom had been spending more and more time at yours and Tina’s apartment. He had brought your belongings that were found in the crashed car. So far nothing sparked a reaction from you and it was frustrating.

Currently you and Ransom are sitting on the couch and Tina makes some dinner. You are reading a book and Ransom is deep in thought, chewing on the cuff of his sweater. You reach forward and slap his hand, “Hughie, I told you not to chew on your sweater.” You scold him.

Wait, WHAT?

Ransom’s head snaps to you so fast that his neck could have snapped from the force. You are frozen. You just spoke, the burning in your throat proves it. Although you couldn’t hear it, Tina dropped a bowl in the kitchen and it shattered as she ran into the living room. “Did she just speak?!” Tina yelled surprised.

“She, she just called me Hughie. She is the only one who ever called me that and she told me to stop chewing on my sweater. She would always yell at me for it because it’s a bad habit.” Ransom’s shock is evident. Tina supplies you with his explanation, to which you respond, ‘I don’t know what came over me. I just saw him doing that and it annoyed me, I couldn’t stop myself.’ This was a great sign. Your memory was starting to come back. Ransom was filled with glee, he couldn’t stop the laughter that erupted from his belly, “It always did annoy you. At one point you actually rolled up my sleeves so I couldn’t chew on it anymore.” He shared the memory, and as Tina translated you couldn’t help but have this wriggling feeling of nostalgia.

In the middle of the movie the three of you were watching, Ransom’s phone rang, he stepped outside to take the call. It had been about three minutes later when you noticed Tina’s shoulders jump in surprise. ‘What’s wrong?’ you ask her. She tells you she just heard Ransom shout angrily. A moment later, Ransom emerges from the hallway, apologizing saying  he has to go and he’s already out the door before Tina finishes telling you what happened.

————–

He can’t believe it. He can’t fucking believe it. No, that’s a lie, he could believe it but he just didn’t want to. He met the investigator who provided him with all the documentation he collected regarding the crash. Ransom added them to the copies of all Billie’s test results he asked her for. The grip on his steering wheel was steel. He finally knew who tried to kill Billie, and furthermore he was pissed he didn’t connect the dots sooner. He contemplated his next move, he wanted to destroy this person’s life.

He pulled up to the grand mansion. It had been about five years since he was here last. The housekeeper opened the door for him when he stepped onto the porch and led him into the house. Ransom entered the main office only to find his grandfather Harlan sitting at his typewriter.

“Well, well, if it isn’t my spoiled grandson.” Harlan greeted.

“Harlan.” Ransom came to a stop in front of his desk, the folder tight in his grip.

Despite his old age and strained relationship with his grandson, he could tell something was wrong, “what brings you here?” He asks intrigued by this surprise visit.

“I found Billie.” Ransom confessed to his grandfather. The answer shocked Harlan to say the least. He always liked Millicent, always thought she was a good influence on his grandson. Their relationship was much better when she was in his life. He was deeply concerned when she went missing and tried to aid his grandson in the investigation but when nothing turned up, their relationship started to wane as Ransom began to withdraw into himself.

“Is she alive?” Harlan grabbed his cane, standing and steadying himself before walking around the desk.

Ransom sits down in the nearby chair, “yes, all things considering. She was in a severe car accident. Her car was run off the road by someone. They chased her for a good five or six miles until she crashed into a tree head on. She survived but suffered severe head trauma. She’s deaf now and doesn’t know who she is.” Ransom offers the folder to Harlan as he continues to tell his grandfather the entire story.  Harlan carefully sat down across from him and began reading the evidence. When he finishes, Ransom is trying to hold back his angry tears. “So, I am here to ask for your help. I need them to suffer. Simply going to the cops is too easy.”

Harlan flipped back and forth through the papers, looking at the evidence as well as Billie’s medical records. He noted solemnly that this girl has, indeed, been through hell. “I will take care of this.” Harlan announces. Ransom blinks in shock. Did he hear him right? “What?” He asks for clarity.

“I will take care of this for you, but I need you to trust me. I don’t want you involved in this anymore than you already are. Ransom, I need you to promise me to stay out of this. Can you do that?” Harlan’s serious tone buzzes in Ransom’s ears.

“Can you promise me Billie will get the justice she deserves?” Ransom needs assurances, he won’t agree to anything unless he knows the involved parties will be punished properly.

“You have my word.” Harlan offers his hand to Ransom, making a gentleman’s agreement. Ransom takes Harlan’s hand and shakes it, “okay, I promise I will stay out of it and trust you.”

————–

Harlan stayed true to his word.

It was all over every single news outlet a week later.

“Real Estate Mogul Richard Drysdale arrested on embezzlement and attempted murder charges.”

“Money, Murder and Mistresses? Richard Drysdale’s mistresses come forward with their stories.”

“Drysdale denied bail. Set to face full charges in the attempted murder of Millicent Combs.”

“No special treatment for the disgraced son-in-law of Harlan Thrombey.”

You are watching the various news channels while Ransom is making popcorn in his kitchen. Tina is sitting on the couch next to you reading the pamphlets on cochlear implants. The doctor had suggested that you could be a good candidate for one and gave you the pamphlets to read up on. You learned one of your ears could be repaired enough to have a standard hearing aid, but the damage in your other ear was severe enough that an implant was the other viable option.

The news was flashing your picture and telling your story on the screen. You read the subtitles carefully, trying to take in what all these people were saying about you.

The day Ransom left his grandfather’s, he went to Tina’s place and told the two women what he learned. He also told them their lives were about to become a media circus and he wanted to take them to his apartment where they could be safe from the public eye for the time being. His apartment was large and in a secure building with multiple bedrooms so it was the best option they had.

Ransom came back into the room with a bowl full of fresh popcorn, he offered you a small bowl. You verbally thanked him. The doctor suggested you try to start using your voice and strengthen your vocal cords after years of unuse. While your voice was still small and scratchy in sound, it still pleased Ransom every time he heard it.

Pleased as punch, Ransom threw popcorn in the air, catching it in his mouth as he watched the repeat footage of his father being arrested. The look on his mother’s face made him gleeful. She was an absolute wreck, anger and a permanent scowl on her face. The news reported she refused to help Richard, stating she was disgusted by his actions. While the news reporters speculated the reason why Richard Drysdale ran Millicent Combs off the road, Ransom knew.

When he and Billie planned on leaving together and moving to Europe, Ransom contacted his lawyer to have the money in his trust fund transferred to new accounts so he and Billie could use that to start their new life. The lawyer contacted his father, who unknown to anyone at the time, had been siphoning money out of Ransom’s trust to fund the affair he was having with his mistress at that time. In a panic, Richard thought that if Billie had ‘disappeared’ then his son’s plans for moving would also disappear and Richard could continue what he was doing. So he followed his son that night when he dropped his girlfriend off at her apartment and waited. When she finally left and headed towards Ransom’s apartment in her car, Richard took his chance and chased her car down with his.

————–

Later that night, you sat in your room, researching medical options on your laptop when Ransom came in. Ransom came into the room with something hidden behind his back. While Tina was teaching him sign language, he knew his skills were nowhere near good enough to convey what he wanted to say, so Ransom handed you a note. You gave him a questioning look, as you began to read the note:

“Nine years ago, on our first anniversary I gave you a ring that told you I loved you. I told you then I would always take care of you and make sure that you were always happy. Seven years ago we made plans to run away and build a life together, and I promised you I would get you that billy goat you always wanted. I know we’ve lost a lot of time and memories but I want you to know I will always stay true to my promises. So I want you to have this as a sign of my promise.”

When you finished reading you looked up at Ransom expectantly. He pulled out a black velvet box and opened it to reveal a Tiffany silver necklace with a billy goat charm at the center. You couldn’t help it when your hands came to cover your mouth, muffling the loud laughter that was spilling out of your mouth. He can’t help but smile ear to ear at the sound of your laughter.

He took it out of the box as you swept your hair to the side so he could put it on you. His fingers trailed along the chain, softly caressing your skin. When they settled on the charm he noticed the trail of goosebumps he left in his wake. Ransom smiled happily seeing that even after all this time you were still affected by his touch. You stared into his beautiful blue eyes, entranced. There was something magnetic about him and you couldn’t deny it any longer he had an effect on you. You made no attempt to stop yourself as you leaned in and pressed your lips to his.

Ransom was surprised but relaxed into your kiss. He never thought he would get to do this again. The two of you poured all your emotions into this kiss. The kiss became deeper as you coaxed Ransom’s mouth open with your tongue. You started to understand why you fell for him originally. Scenes and pictures started to flash behind your eyes, glimpses of your former life. It wasn’t full memories but you knew something was trying to reach the surface of your brain. One thing became very apparent during this passionate kiss, you loved this man. You loved him with all your heart. Pulling away from him for a brief moment, you brought your hand to his face. Your thumb lovingly caressed his cheek, “I love you, Hughie.” you fondly confessed.

The smile Ransom gave you in return would be something you would remember for the rest of your life.

[akisata-moved]

you're ok i'm used to people accusing ryo of being an abuser so i tend to get defensive when that's implied. but no tbh i never did get that sort of impression from him.

i think he had the impression that he was going to end up with a champion for humanity no matter who ended up merging (as they were planning to both merge or at least try to), but he even says that he regrets bringing akira into it and knows that he's going to fuck him up from the very beginning, before the merging even HAPPENS... he repeats his regret over and over again when he's bringing akira to his house and to the bunker etc (i would get pics from the manga to back it up but i'm doing class work rn). and this feeling of regret/remorse is shown repeatedly afterwards as well, basically whenever he can express it.

whether or not this was "a consequence of his feelings for akira" is sort of irrelevant i think? ryo was always shown to be in love with akira (it's pretty implied that ryo was already in love with him in the start of the manga) and ryo was always shown to be regretting the devilman stuff. not to mention that ryo in general, when not driven absolutely crazy by paranoia and the end of the world looming over him—as shown in shin and neo—is a very empathetic, caring character, so even if he WASNT in love with akira i find it hard to conceptualize the idea of him being "proud of his creation" re: devilman. i mean even right after devilman transforms for the first time we get a monologue from ryo about how terrified he is and how maybe he fucked up. and it's not like he was doing the devilman stuff for fun, either, he has a purpose for it, which was creating a savior for humanity. i don't think he was doing it for any sort of "greatness" or acclaim. ryo, before he realized he was satan, was just some kid. this is sort of jumbled+scattered bc like i said i am doing schoolwork lawl

the worst devilman fans are the ones who think that akira didn't love ryo back

[helmes-deep]

82 Truths Tag

hwat. is. this...

Tagged by: @shinwhoohoo what have you made me do loool  Thanks, dear!! :D

Rules: Answer these 82 truths about yourself and then tag 25 people.

Note: *this was done during the fall semester quite a couple months back lol, but most of the answers are still pretty accurate*

Most Recent:

Drink: tae HAHA tea and water

Phone call: I don’t have a phone so nobody calls me or vice versa haha. Last e-mail I got was an app update saying one of my assignments had been graded :3

Text: Someone I know from school

Song you listened to: “Introduction: Youth” by BTS; it really is my new favorite song rn... so good “Single You Up” by Jordan Davis. I am NOT a country music fan by any means, but this one is too catchy!! haha xD

Time you cried: 2½ weeks ago?? At night... in the dark... by myself... huhu :’3

Have You Ever:

Dated someone twice: No. Fun fact: I never even dated anyone once lol

Been cheated on: No

Kissed someone and regretted it: No

Lost someone special: Yes

Been depressed: I did have a spell once, about a year or so ago

Been drunk and thrown up: No, I don’t drink

Kissed a stranger: No

Glasses/contacts: No, but I’m starting to think I need glasses (I feel near-blind when I try to read text from farther away!! xD)

Had sex on a first date: No

Broke someone’s heart: No

Turned someone down: No lol. I have turned down people for other things though, like party invitations or chances for group work... really awkwardly, too, haha...

Cried when someone died: Yes

Fallen for a friend: What are friends?? LOL we’ll just say no :p

In The Last Year, Have You:

Made a new friend: Yes??

Fallen out of love: No

Laughed until you cried: Yes, today actually lol!!

Met someone who changed you: Not necessarily... I have learned quite a few things from my current cohort of student teachers though!!

Found out who your true friends are: I only got one real friend... my brother is my best friend haha... so no RIP LAWL

Found out someone was talking about you: Not in the way you’re probably implying, no I don’t think so.

Kissed anyone on your FB list: I don’t have an FB!! :o

Right Now:

Eating: Nothing, had a ramen cup for dinner a few hours ago :p

Drinking: Nothing, just finished my glass of water

I’m about to: Just finished a slide of the “3 Types of Conflict” in literature; about to go to sleep, yay!! :DD

Listening to: Portugal. The Man’s new album (released today) :o

Want:

Kids: Yes!

Get married: Yes!!

Career: High school English teacher and/or writer!!!

Extras:

How many people from your FB list do you know irl: FB IS FOR LOSERS!! >:DDD

Do you have any pets: No, but I’d love to get a dog when I’m older

Do you want to change your name: Because my name is a “legitimate” Asian one, I’ve often used to wonder if I should change it to an English one, or at least get a more Americanized nickname. But by now having gone through 20+ years of life with my original Asian name, I’ve come to appreciate its beauty and unique-ness, kind of like how you grow to love and accept body features that you might not have been too happy with when you were younger. I don’t really have a problem with people mispronouncing my name, as long as I can tell they’re putting the effort in to try to say it correctly. I’m actually very interested in how different people choose to pronounce my name upon first try (so at the beginning of the semester, one of my professors asked us to tell her in advance how our names were pronounced if they had a difficult pronunciation so that she wouldn’t embarrass anybody when she called roll. Idk if it was rude, but I didn’t raise my hand :p I was just really curious to see how she would pronounce it lol.).

What did you do for your birthday: I probably went out to eat... or ate at home with my family... maybe went shopping during some later date... bought some CD’s online?? :DD

What time did you wake up today: 6 AM. My wake up time will be 4AM in a few hours :33 I CAN WAKE UP AT 9-10 AM NOW YAYYYYYYYY!! LOL

What were you doing last night at midnight: SLEEP THANK GOODNESS

Name something you can’t wait for: BTS’s WINGS album in October!! lol uhhh... getting hired for a teaching position Nothing, recently :/// Maybe Phangs’ new album Get In My Arms, coming June 28th??

Last time you saw your mom: Like an hour ago?? About to be a minute leol

What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Idk if I’d actually want to go back and change the circumstances that have made me who I am now, but one thing I wish I had realized earlier in life is that starting to work toward your dream job doesn’t (and probably shouldn’t) start when you enter college.

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nope, don’t think so.

What’s getting on your nerves right now: Just those instances where I can’t focus on schoolwork and am spending too much time on Tumblr or procrastinating, thus not getting enough sleep and feeling terrible the next day.

Blood type: This question has come up a few times for me from time to time, but unfortunately, I haven’t had the chance to look it up or bug my mom enough about it to confirm what my blood type is.

Nickname: I don’t have one, most likely because of how my “legitimate” Asian name makes it hard to form one in English (actually one of my students started calling me something based off of my last name leoool).

Relationship status: Single

Pronouns: She/her

Favorite TV Show: Daredevil

Long or short hair: For me?? Long. Though it’s short right now haha

Height: 5′2″

Do you have a crush on someone: Like on a real person in my life right now or someone who isn’t, oh I don’t know, an ocean or two away and living in South Korea?? :pp So no

What do you like about yourself: That I’m highly organized, artsy-ish, smart, thoughtful, and loyal.

Right or left handed: Right.

First surgery: Never had one :o

First best friend: Anna, from kindergarten to 2nd grade. I hope she’s doing well in the world right now...

First sport you joined: Basketball in 6th grade. That was the one and only time I ever did any “official” sports related activities because my mom was not big on me playing any sports lol.

First vacation: When my family took me to either a museum, national park/garden, or Six Flags when I was much younger.

List 3 favorite colors: Pink, brown... and whatever else. Maybe white??

Which Is Better:

Lips or eyes: Eyes

Hugs or Kisses: Kisses

Taller or shorter: Taller

Older or Younger: For a future husband, older; for anything else I don’t really care lol

Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic... but don’t overdue it haha

Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

Hookup or relationship: Relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, definitely. Troublemaker might not even be an option lol

Do You Believe In

Yourself: As in am I confident in myself?? Ideally, yes. Realistically?? I’m still getting there :p

Love at first sight: If you mean by like, a suddenly instant infatuation or attraction to someone, whether physical or through what they do, then sure. But I don’t think “true love” really develops with someone until you’ve gotten to know that person and their personality, likes/dislikes, quirks, etc. first. Once you really get to know a person, then I think true love can develop/exist.

Miracles: Yes. I am a Christian, so I do believe that miracles exist, from large to small, even in this day and age.

Heaven: Yes. Again, because I am a Christian, I do believe Heaven exists. I also believe in a Hell and God.

Kissing on the first date: No lol. I’ve got no problem with it, I just prefer not to :p  

Wow that was a lot, but interesting!! Not tagging anyone but y’all feel free to do it if you’d like – don’t forget to tag me!! :3

[oriel]

@knightmareframe-eu said: wow, that escalated quickly, lawl. but ok whatever you say. i make these just for the lols, people are free to like or dislike, so no biggie from my end. have a nice day o.o/ or try to at least, seems like it aint going to good for ya.

Oooh, did i just get ROASTED? Did you just try to imply that i responded this way or another because i had A BAD DAY? Oooh, you got me good. So good! Not as if... my day is going...... just.... fine..... shocking, ikr? Also clearly, people aren’t free to dislike them since you come through with petty, quite immature comments under posts that could’ve been directed towards literally anyone who makes “le meme aion vids XDDDD” lol