#or if i’m delusional (obviously) but when i started getting older i can occasionally spot the other stuff

[egopathic]

when you lose words in casual conversation, abandon every interest at once and can’t change clothes more than like twice to three times a week without prompt and assistance

[lonelyreputation]

Screaming Color (Soulmate AU) Part ONE  Shawn Mendes Writing Circle

A/N: Massive massive thank you to @saysweartogod-og for orchestrating this #ShawnMendesWritingCircle!! 🥳 I’m so excited to be part of this and see where this story goes as a different Shawnblr author will be continuing it!

This is my twist on the classic Soulmate AU trope! 💫🎨💗 Make sure to check out all of the other SMWC stories! And as always, let me know your thoughts! I’d love to hear any form of feed back!! 

Thanks a million million for all your support!! It really means the world to me! Love you all lots! 🥰💫💞✨🥺

Warnings: none !

WC: 2.8K

“Don’t worry, Y/n it’s…normal.”

You slumped back against the wicker chair and crossed your arms over your chest, “I’m nearly twenty-two, I shouldn’t be this late of a bloomer.”  

You were sitting on a patio of a restaurant eating brunch with your friend, Charlotte, who wanted to try this spot from all the pictures she’d seen of the flowers.  When you first walked in, Charlotte let out a gasp as she clutched your wrist, looking around with awe vividly describing everything her eyes traced over.  

How you walked under an archway of sunflowers and daffodils––They’re bright yellow, but get a bit orange toward the middle––when you first entered the restaurant.  The wisteria, a lavender color––That’s purple––peaked through the holes of the oak cross hatched fence with vines––They’re green––that were intertwined in knots.  And when you two were walking to your table, Charlotte couldn’t get over the hydrangeas hanging in terracotta pots from the ceiling––It’s like a mix of lilac and pale blue, but more on the blue side.

It’s so beautiful, Y/n, I wish you could see color.

Color.

In this wonderful surreal world you lived in, a person could only see in various shades of black, grey, and white until they locked eyes with their soulmate.  It was a bit bizarre when your parents had the talk with you at seven-years-old. They tried explaining how you just saw a monotone of gray colors, but when you looked into the eyes of your soulmate, your world would be filled with color.  

You have to make direct eye contact with them, your mom emphasized, you both have to look into each other’s eyes.

If you catch a glimpse of them, your dad added in, you might be able to see a glimpse of color but it’ll go away if you don’t make eye contact with them.

You thought that was a load of bologna, but when you were ten and someone asked why you were wearing green pants with a purple shirt…You thought that your parents might be onto something.  And when you got older, and more of your friends started to see color, it became obvious that you hadn’t looked into the eyes of your soulmate yet.

Charlotte was twenty-three and had been able to see color since she turned sixteen when her soulmate spilled ice-cream on her in the park.  And ever since then, she had tried to describe different colors to you whenever she saw something intriguing.  It didn’t help very much, considering all you saw was various tones of grays and blacks, but you didn’t want to hurt her feelings and tell her she wasn’t helping.

Once you successfully steered the conversation away from soulmates, brunch was an enjoyable meal.  You laughed, gossiped about the people at your internship, and ate your meal with only the occasional mention of color from Charlotte.  But when your dishes were cleaned off, and the bill was split in half, you hugged her goodbye and told her you would see her in the office on Monday.

You were walking on the sidewalk to get to your parallel parked car when you felt someone slightly bump into you.  It didn’t throw you off your feet, so you didn’t think much of it, but you were still curious as to who brushed passed you.  You twisted your head over your shoulder to see the back of someone’s curly hair.  

You didn’t think much of it so you turned your head forward and continued to walk.  But there was a moment when you looked up at the sky that you were blinded by the brightness of the sun, blinded by a sharp light that didn’t look like the typical gray you saw.

For a second you thought you saw the color yellow.

///

The morning rain was not something you were expecting on the walk to your internship carrying six cups of coffee.  Luckily you were only two blocks away from the radio station when it started, but you were able to scan your access card and pushed open the front glass doors, with your hair wet and matted to your head, before the sky opened up and poured rain.

You smiled at the receptionist, took the elevator up to the third floor, and weaved your way through the office until you got to where your internship supervisor, and the rest of the digital team, were located.

“Did you hear?” A very peppy Charlotte ran up to you as you were checking the names of the coffee cups before placing them down on the appropriate desks, ”Shawn Mendes is gonna be here today.”

She gripped your wrist in excitement which, unfortunately, caused some coffee to spill out from the lid and onto your hand.  

You hissed at the hot liquid and broke her hold from your wrist to shake away the burning sensation, “His songs are cool.”

Charlotte pulled a tissue out from the box on a desk and handed it over to you, “Word on the street is that he can see color now.”

“That’s nice,” you said with little interest as you tried to dry your hands with the thin material.

“You’re not––Aren’t you just dying to know who brought color into his life?”

“I mean, only a little?” You said over your shoulder as you placed the last cup of coffee on your supervisor's desk and threw out the cardboard drink holders, “But I’d assume he’d want to keep that private.”

“He’s been seen around with some instagram travel influencer, but I hear she won’t let him take pictures of her because he sucks with the camera.”

It wasn’t an uncommon practice for people to have relationships before they met their soulmate, but whenever a celebrity was seen with someone, it always picked up the attention of everyone asking the question if they had met their soulmate or not.

You let out a little chuckle, “Well if they’re soulmates then she’s doing it out of love.”

Charlotte barked out a laugh and agreed, “I have to help Mindy finish her questions for the interview, but I’ll see you sometime after the segment!���

As she skipped off to help with prep questions for the interview, you walked into the tiny office where all of the interns sat.  And just like the chatter you heard all along your walk, the interns were only interested in the celebrity guest of the day.

“––Shawn Mendes––”

“––I’m going to try and look into his eyes to see if he’s my soulmate––”

“––Don’t even try, he’s with that Instagrammer––”

“––Doesn’t mean he sees color with her!”

You were sitting in your black rolling chair, trying to block out the gossip with your headphones, but it wasn’t working.  With a sigh, you spun your chair around, “Is it really that big of a deal who he sees color with?”

Everyone quieted down and looked over at you.  Their stares were burning into you and you slumped further down in the chair, “Like I totally get wanting to know––it’s really fun to talk about––but isn’t that a bit personal?”

“I’m assuming you don’t see color?”

“Not yet,” you sharply replied, not liking the tone in Amanda’s, the other intern, voice, “Do you see color?”

Her smile faltered, “No, that’s why I have to look into Shawn Mendes’s eyes.”

You looked at her with raised eyebrows, not quite believing how delusional she sounded, and didn’t think it was worthy of a response as you spun around in your chair to get back to your assignments.

A few hours went by of light chatter and completing some tasks before Amanda ran into the room, scrambling to get the radio together, “He’s here––I didn’t get to look in his eyes––but he’s here and the interview is in like two minutes.”

All five interns paused their work and rolled their chairs over to crowd around the radio.  You missed the intro where Mindy listed a few of Shawn’s recent accomplished chart listings, but it didn’t seem like she was holding back with anything as she dove right in with the pressing topics.

“So, Shawn.”

“Mindy,” Shawn mimicked the way she said his name with a laugh.

“A little birdy told me that someone has brought color into your life.”

There was a pause on the other end as everyone held their breaths awaiting his answer.

“Well––Not exactly,” Amanda let out a cheer and everyone shushed her, “I think I saw blue the other day? On Saturday?”

“So you saw something?” Mindy sounded too giddy as she was the first to get this inside scoop, “And you haven’t seen color before?” It was her way of subtly asking if the instagrammer he had been seen with was his soulmate.

“Never,” he was quick with his answer, “I only saw blue for a split second in the sky, but after that, it went back to gray.”

“How poetic,” Mindy swooned, “Bet you can turn that into a song.”

“I might already have a voice note and a few lyrics down.”

You were more intrigued with Shawn Mendes than you were ever before.  He had seen a color––blue––the same day you saw yellow; just a glimpse of it before it turned back to gray.  He had the same experience.  And while Toronto was a big city, it seemed a little too coincidental that you both saw color for a split second on the same day.

“Okay we’re gonna take a quick break, and when we come back, Shawn will answer some rapid fire questions.”  Mindy signed off and the radio transitioned into commercial.  

There was a second of silence where all the interns looked at each other before everyone spoke over each other.

“So he’s seen blue––”

“––She’s obviously not his soulmate––”

“––But that means that he’s at least seen whoever his soulmate is from a distance or something or else he wouldn’t have been able to see blue––”

“Y/n!” Your internship supervisor peaked her head into the intern room with a smile, “Would you mind picking up a lunch order? Our hands are a bit tied with Shawn still being on air––Feel free to order whatever you want and put it on the company card.”

You pushed back your chair, happy to have an excuse to leave the gossip circle, “Of course,” you said as you picked up your phone and walked out of the room.

“You’re the best intern,” your supervisor handed you over the company card, “Promise this won’t happen again, you’re such a help and more equipped for actual work.”

Thanking her for her kind words, you decided to take your time walking to the sandwich shop down the street.  It took both hands to push the heavy front glass doors open and you looked up to see it was still raining, but only a drizzle.  Maybe you wouldn’t be taking your time walking to the sandwich shop after all.  

You quickly walked down the street and into the shop, ordering yourself a sandwich.  Once your sandwich was made, they added it to the order, and you handed over the company card.  You gripped the handles of the large brown bag and shouted a thanks over your shoulder as you hurried out the door.

The sun was shining, the pavement smelled of fresh rain, and to your surprise, the rain had stopped.  A small smile graced your lips as you were now able to take your time walking back to the office.  When the building where the radio station was headquartered came into view, you were surprised to see a fairly large group of teenage girls waiting outside on the sidewalk.

You politely weaved your way through the crowd, whispering a soft excuse me and a pardon me, I work here and need to get through.  But then, all at once, everyone surged forward and started to scream.  Between fighting your way through the crowd, and the excessive pushing of the girls, you finally managed to break free.

You breathed out a breath of fresh air when you escaped the crowd, but someone walked into your shoulder hard and caused you to stumble back a bit.  A little bit ticked off with how rough they were, you whirled around.

“I’m so sorry––”

But once your eyes connected, his words abruptly stopped and you dropped the bag of sandwiches and salads.  Both of you were paralyzed, staring at each other with wide eyes, and that’s when you knew that he saw it too.

The yellow of the sun was familiar; a warmth of bright light shining down on you.  The sky––as you heard him describe earlier as blue––seemed so soft with a light wispy streak of peach coloring through the thin white clouds.  The buildings were tall, shades of gray you were familiar with, but there was more of a depth to them as you could see the color inside through the windows.

And then you really saw him.

His facial features were sharp, but the rosiness of his cheeks softened up his face.  Even the concentrated creases in his forehead had a color that was darker than his slightly tanned skin tone.  His lips were pink, slightly parted in shock, just like how you probably looked.  You trailed your eyes up to his hair, a lone curl dangling from his hair onto his forehead.  

A lot of people have brown hair, you remember being eight and holding your mom's hand walking down the street as she tried to teach you colors without having the ability to see color, you can have different shades of brown; dark to the point where it almost looks black, or as light as a gray shade.  

His hair was dark brown, but with the way the sun was shining down on him, his hair was highlighted with swirls of a lighter brown like toffee.  There was so much depth with the color of his hair, but then you really looked into his eyes––the two little windows into a person’s soul that granted you the gift of seeing the world in color––you knew exactly what your favorite color was.

His eyes were the same color as his hair, brown, but his eyes held more color than any of the curls of his hair.  They were littered with hazel flecks, a few wispy swooshes of golden honey,  and a few lines of dark chestnut radiating out from the blacks of his pupils.

You had heard Charlotte ramble on about how boring her brown eyes were and that she wished she had a more interesting coloring like either blue or green.  But with staring straight into brown eyes, and finally understanding her talk about eye color, you could not understand why she was so upset with her brown eyes.  

“Can you see––”

“Shawn, c’mon,” someone came over and yanked his shoulder back, “We have to go.”

He stumbled back a few feet as he brushed off a person wearing glasses, “I see––”

“Shawn, we have a really tight schedule.”

He kept his eyes locked on you as if he was scared that the color of his new world would disappear like the last time, “What’s your na––”

“Dude,” a boy with red-ish hair pulled him back by his elbow, “the fans are getting too rowdy we need to leave now.”

“My name is––”

Right as you were about to tell him your name, a tall muscular man dressed in all black stepped in between the two of you, cutting off your contact with Shawn.  You started panicking, the fear of losing your soulmate now that you’d found him caused a crippling fear deep inside you.  

You tried poking your head around the security guard, “Excuse me––”

“Sorry miss, he can’t take any pictures now.”

An aggravated sigh past through your lips, “I know, but he’s my––”

But you weren’t able to get another word out to the security guard explaining how Shawn was your soulmate because he, the boy with red hair, and the guy with glasses were all wrangling Shawn in the car despite him struggling and constantly looking over his shoulder at you.

Just like how instantly color came into your life when you looked into Shawn’s eyes, he was in the van and driving down the street just as fast.

And as you stood on the sidewalk, surrounded by fans screaming––Oh my God, that was really Shawn Mendes––with the bag of lunch still on the pavement, you were transfixed with the world of color that you were now surrounded by.

But you were left without the person who gifted you color.

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