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atomic-thomas · 2 years ago

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(Fake ASMR Commission) Creepypasta Girl Takes You To Her Mansion

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*spooky night ambience. light breeze, owls hooting, etc.*

"The crisp, cool, fresh air is so invigorating. This is the perfect night for a murder. A beautiful full moon, the owls hooting, the naked trees swaying in the breeze... Really puts me in the mood to bag a body."

"But who exactly? Maybe I can find some schmuck in an alleyway. Perhaps I can pay some of my old high school bullies a visit. No matter. As long as I can put someone in a coffin tonight, my bloodlust shall be quenched."

"Oooooh, who's that cutie over there? Seems like they're all alone. Such a shame. I doubt anyone'll even notice their disappearance. Just gotta sneak up on em'."

...

"Actually... On closer inspection... They're even cuter than I thought. Their hair looks so smooth & shiny. Their eyes are glistening in the moonlight. Lovely color. And such a pretty face to. Damn, they're attractive. I almost feel bad for wanting to kill them."

...

"Ah, man. I can't do this. They look too good to die. I can't just waste someone who looks that nice. Maybe I can just... Talk to them. Yeah. I'll just pretend like I'm a totally normal person. I can find someone else to slay tonight."

...

"Hey there cutie. Wha-..."

"Oh jeez. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I mean... Usually, that's what I'm trying to do, but not this time."

...

"Oh... My face? Uh... How do I explain this? I'm... A Creepypasta Girl."

...

"Yes, very boring name. I know. But that's why I have these black circles for eyes with blood flowing out of them. It really sells the creepy look, you know? Even if it is quite cliche."

...

"You've read Creepypastas online, right? They're these scary stories that people post on the Internet. They're not as popular as they were in their heyday, but the fans still exist. Do you have any favorites?"

...

"Herobrine. The Minecraft Creepypasta. That's a solid choice. I was afraid that you were gonna say Slenderman. Don't get me wrong. I like the guy. But saying that Slenderman is your favorite is like when someone says that their favorite Pokémon is Pikachu. It feels like the opinion was formed without a basis in mind or any prior knowledge. Saying Herobrine makes me feel like you put genuine thought into it & actually understood the source material. I can respect that."

...

"Why am I here. Well, there's no easy way to say this, but... My original intention was to kill you."

...

"Because I'm evil. I look evil & I enjoy being evil. I kill people because it's fun. One could call me a mindless murderer... A psychopath that kills without reason... But if I was truly mindless then I wouldn't be talking to you right now. You'd already be dead."

...

"The reason I've chosen to spare you is because... You're hot."

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"Yep. Not even kidding. You're seriously so attractive that killing you would be a total waste. I've never met someone that looks as impossibly gorgeous as you. I may be a villain, but I still have taste."

...

"No need to thank me. You're just lucky that you were blessed with such amazing genes."

"So... Wanna spend the night at my place? I've got some crazy & interesting friends who live there with me."

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"I live in a mansion. We call it the Creepypasta Manor. And yes, they're monsters to. Just like me. We all have the same insane disposition."

...

"Look. I know it seems like it would be a horror show over there. And truth be told, we do watch a lot of actual horror shows. But I can convince them that you're not worth turning into a blood splatter. I'm sure they'll warm up to you."

...

"Oh wow. I didn't think you'd actually agree to this. Um... Okay. I'm pleasantly surprised that you accepted my offer. Let's go. I'll show you where it is."

..... *ambience stops* .....

"Here we are. Big place, isn't it? Just one question before I bring you in. Have you ever seen a slasher movie?"

...

"Think of that, but as a slice of life. Sorta like Ruby Gloom, but with no defined canon. That's basically what you're getting into. Ready to enter?"

...

"Alright, just stay behind me in case all hell breaks loose."

*door opening & closing sound*

"Hey guys. I brought a new friend over tonight."

*sounds of various weapons being raised like that one scene from Tangled*

"Woah, woah, woah! Chill with the weapons! I can explain!"

"I was out for a murder & found this person. I was planning on making them my next victim, but found myself incredibly captivated by their beautiful face, their gleaming starry eyes... Their silky smooth hair... Those... Wonderful... Kissable lips..."

"Er, anyway. I just found them super hot & couldn't bring myself to do the deed. So can you all please not kill them? Surely, I'm not the only one here with taste, right? Come on. You find them attractive to. Admit it."

...

"That's right. Lay down your arms. This one's special."

"So new pal... These are my friends. First we have Slenderman. He's our big boss. He runs & owns the place. Since you got his approval, that basically means you're good to go."

"We have Ben Drowned. He's from a Zelda Creepypasta."

"Jeff the Killer. You can just call him Jeff. We're all killers here."

"There's Laughing Jack & Eyeless Jack. Two people in this manor named Jack. I know. Weird little happenstance."

"Zalgo, Dark Link, Sonic.exe... And poor Lost Silver over there. He has no limbs. We need to cart him around in a wheelchair."

...

"Yes, Herobrine is here to. He's probably playing Minecraft in the game room or something."

"There's others, but I'm not sure where they are right now. Probably out for a night on the town. I don't know."

"So anyway. Slender. Shall we introduce our guest to the delectable cuisine known as... Creepy Pasta?"

...

"Fantastic. I'll meet you in kitchen to help in just a minute. Just need to talk to my new friend for a moment."

"Um... We ARE friends, right? I know I just kinda dragged you into this so like... I'm not sure."

...

"Oh, we are? Cool. Maybe we can be... More... If you feel like it."

"Anyway, Creepy Pasta is... Well... I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. It's literally just spaghetti & Italian meatballs with black food coloring to make it look creepy. It's delicious. I swear."

"For now, You should give Silver some company. He's definitely the most tame person here. It's pretty easy to get along with someone when they don't have any limbs."

"I'm gonna go help Slender in the kitchen now. I'll give you a shout when we're done. Thanks for joining us tonight."

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THE END

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