#or how they didn’t have the ability to make Motaro a centaur in one of the games so they wrote

[kogo-dogo]

I showed some of my friends the original Mortal Kombat movie the other day, and it got me back to thinking how much I love the pre-reboot camp of the series back in the ‘90s. Furthermore, I don’t think people realize that Mortal Kombat was, like, as huge of a thing in the early-to-mid ‘90s as it was. Most people know what it is, but the closest thing I’ve ever been able to compare the ‘90s MK boom is the early stages of Pokemania back after Red and Blue came out.

You need to understand: there wasn’t just one live-action movie, there were two. There was a Saturday morning cartoon series called Defenders of the Realm (which was HILARIOUSLY bad). There was an animated movie that defies explanation. There was a live-action television show. Cards and toys, and pogs because that was a thing back then. There was a FUCKING STAGE PERFORMANCE THAT TOURED, A LA POKÉMON ON ICE. They weren’t on ice, but they tried to do Kabal without the mask and it took me years later, after seeing a clip on YouTube, that I figured out who it was supposed to be. There’s an entire age bracket that, if you play Techno Syndrome (a.k.a, “the Mortal Kombat theme”), they lose their fucking shit.

They came out with special editions of their games before that was a thing. MK3 has an Ultimate edition AND TRILOGY, which was a game where you bought UMK3 again but you could play as the bosses if you want. And then there’s Gold Edition MK4 and Sub-Zero got his whole spin-off game where all the cut scenes are in FMV and…

… Look. What I’m saying is that I want to go back. The more I think about it, the more I really miss whatever the hell they had going on. And the writing for the old games themselves?

Chef’s kiss. I have never seen anyone write themselves into nonsensical corners so flawlessly.