#or how nonteachers make teaching your whole identity

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Running Low on Smick

Children have always needed the standard things to survive into adulthood: food, shelter, water, love... But, for the last few centuries, children have started needing another thing: Smick.

Smick isn't something found in nature, it's manmade. Since smick was discovered and became widespread, we have evolved to need it. If children don't get enough smick, they will never make it to adulthood. They will wither away into husks, unable to interact with the world or anyone else before disappearing entirely.

So, where does smick come from? Well, long ago we developed a procedure that helps smick grow inside adult bodies. Once each week, it can be harvested and dispersed to the children who need it.

This procedure isn't free. It costs thousands of dollars and takes multiple years of specialty diets, training, and conditioning before the body can successfully create smick good enough for children to consume. But once your smick is quality enough, you'll be paid for each harvest! Think of all the children you're saving with your sacrifice.

Each smick donor signs a yearly contract. This is such an important job -- it keeps our children alive! -- that if you back out of the contract early, you will have to pay a hefty fine to help cover the losses. We're sure you can at least stick it out to the end of the year, right? And, actually, the first year is the hardest for everyone, so you really can't tell if you should stop donating smick until year 5, at least!

The harvesting process is a tad invasive and happens once each week. The doctors will take a sharp rod and insert it three inches to the right of your sternum, which will slowly draw out the smick. The first few times are rather painful and no anesthesia can be used or risk contaminating the smick. It's okay if you scream, we all expect that from new donors. After the first few times, you will start getting used to the pain. Your wound will start healing in a new shape to accommodate the weekly reopening.

Even as you get used to it, the recovery process still takes plenty of time and resources. If you want your bandages and disinfection supplies to be covered, you'll have to fill out these forms. Oh, and the approval process takes at least three weeks. No, we can only approve the materials for one surgery at a time. Yes, we agree it would be easier to purchase your own materials. What an excellent idea!

You do get paid for the harvesting, like we said before. Thank you for being so kindhearted and taking this difficult job. Here's your payment! What? You were expecting more? Well, we thought it would only be fair to give you this much because of how much free time you get from having this job. I mean, one hour of surgery every week and that's it! A lot of people wish they could have time off like that. Oh, and don't forget always having holidays off, that's pretty generous!

You do have to be prepared for the surgeries, though. Did you complete the 24 hour fast? Did you make sure you exercised at least 3 hours each day this week? Did you stick to your prescribed diet?

Oh, and yes, the recovery period does take time. No, we can't reschedule the harvest. It happens every week. I suppose you can push it off a day or so, but we'll be keeping track of how many times you do that. Too many times and we'll start docking your pay.

You're experiencing fatigue, depression, and feelings of isolation? That's normal! Don't worry, it gets better over time. Just be patient.

You're thinking about the harvests all the time? You feel like you can't relax because you know there's always another harvest coming? Well, that just means you care so much! You're doing a great job, thanks for being prepared.

I don't see why you're complaining. You get the chance to save the children! To keep our world running and safe! Who cares if some doctors are cruel? If the children -- the ones you give so much of yourself to help -- laugh at your gaunt face or tease each other about becoming smick donors?

There's people out there who can help you! Just tell them how they can help. They're waiting, all you have to do is speak up. What? You're too overwhelmed? Well, that's why you should ask for help, silly! Add asking for help to your schedule. Create a list of things people can do for you. Also pencil in some time to feel guilty for needing help in the first place.

You're so kindhearted! So loving! So caring! So resilient! Thank you for saving our children. As a reward, here's a few pieces of candy and a certificate we printed for you. Keep up the great work!