#or cognizant recognition that loneliness does not equate truly wanting someone | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tbh-entp · 1 year ago

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in the final season of this love story with INFJ...

See below the link if you want my musings.

I think I’ve come to terms with love is not all you need in a relationship! At least for me, there is an aspect of choice and what you’ll accept from someone... which it seems like I’ve always known but hadn’t put it to words until very recently.

INFJ and I went out quite a lot in the past couple of months but it was very ‘situationship’ given that I knew he was coming out of a relationship and wanted to leave the country for a short time. I helped him with his application letters and read thru his letters of rec and when this man finally asked me if we should try again. I was like sir, u tryna leave the country right?

It’s just amazing to me that I really feel that I love him and want to help him but at the same time, I’ve said no to him maybe three or four times since 2020--not including deflecting certain advances. So maybe I wasn’t letting my emotional conscious deal with the fact that my rational conscious did not want him. Also, we hooked up a month or two ago and I was lying there thinking oh wait... I didn’t feel anything? Or maybe it felt like an end.

So ya! I think I was extrapolating romantic feelings that I had in the beginning of our relationship that had turned platonic. Also I very much know, and knew in 2020, that other than some sexy dramatics, he doesn’t offer me what I want. I think he wants me because he’s lonely. I also don’t really think that he knows what he wants and is chasing something. Meanwhile, I want a best friend and a partner. I also want some kids :).

I recently met someone kind of great, an ENFJ, who I think was written by a woman (I’ll post abt this fabulous man later maybe idk but this helps me think?), and we’ve been dating for the past month. I broke the news to INFJ, who took it a little hard, and who apparently thought something was going to happen even though he’s moving to East Asia (bruh). I’m very pleased for the progress in any case <3, I’m very happy where I am these days, and I hope INFJ finds what he’s looking for!

#this was only about infj because i hate having the story still like... open and unfinished on here #the will they won't they vibe is kinda overplayed #when the real question is should they #also i recognize that me moving to another city where I don't speak the language... and him moving at the same time nearby had me holdin on #because i had no other friends #when truly we needed either distance #or cognizant recognition that loneliness does not equate truly wanting someone #i'm very thankful to him for his friendship when i was lonely #in this season and when I moved to Germany alone during lockdown #he's helped me so so much over the years #at the same time though #i'd told him we shouldn't date when I moved to Germany and i was going through the same thought process:#we're not meant to be romantic partners #and i think this can get confused when you generally like someone and are attracted to them #but the act is made out of loneliness or worry of dying alone #i felt then and have felt recently that maybe he was my only chance but going for him always lowkey felt like settling #in terms of treatment (he isn't the very best in this regard #and this should be vERY important in choosing a partner)#also i now do not believe that there is only one person for someone and this is the thought that i really think was holding me back #i now believe we can love many and we can choose who loves us back the best #we can choose what we accept for ourselves and choose to look with an open heart for something more suiting or better #<3 #personal

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