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theunconcernedembalmer · 4 years ago

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what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol

hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?

whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.

firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships.

the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.

i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.

unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.

so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.

n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.

so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.

now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.

did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.

quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)

n that is dangerous.

back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.

we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative.

a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.

so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.

all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.

special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear.

this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.

okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.

remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.

remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.

(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.

putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.

can u tell how much that does not appeal to me.

never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.

n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.

i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.

#mun rambles #its me the mun #unconcerned ramblings #posting this now cos this is a question ive been getting #although this has been worded in the most unnecessarily passive aggressive way possible that i do not appreciate #im wary about all u so called social justice warriors championing this n that liberal idea when all u want to do is stir shit #thankfully i dont have much experience with this but just passively seeing all these ppl run their mouths is getting very annoying #but just know that i will not tolerate any of that bullshit here. because if u really do care about ppl as much as u say u do #then why r u attacking ppl period #ur really just hiding behind a righteous excuse to harm people. thats disgusting. i dont want u here

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txdoroki · 4 years ago

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heyo ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙ omg i love ur account, ur literally my favourite person on this app sfngnbodmv ur posts make me so happy. basically i want to start writing drabbles and fics and stuff so i was just wondering where 2 start & how u got started :)

hi! aww tysm :,) that means a lot!

well, i started by making a post asking people for requests (as i started as a request writing page, not really that way anymore because it’s easier to not get burnt out for me if i do the stuff i genuinely want to write!) and i used all of the tags i could.

(if youre planning on doing mha writing, bakugou and todoroki content generally does the best. the first 3 tags you use, your content will show up under tagged when you search the tag in specific, so i suggest doing bakugou x reader, todoroki x reader, and whatever else as your first three for your starting request post!)

if you aren’t planning on doing requests, i suggest maybe an intro post. like “hi! i’m (name) and im a writer! here are the fandoms i’ll be writing for, and a few things about me!”

try and have your first writings be consistent, it doesn’t matter that much but it’s good to have content for ppl to read rather than literally one post and it’s an intro. if people see the intro, they will prolly click on your account to see your writing and such. so, imo it’s important to have some writing to begin with

i’ve noticed, that using more tags doesn’t necessarily = more notes! the first few matter the most, and after that, it can help to do the category and such

let’s say i wrote a bakugou fluff. i’d use these tags: bakugou x reader, bakugou imagine, bakugou fluff, bakugou katsuki, mha bakugou- give or take a few! you can find examples under my MOST RECENT writing posts, as i did different experiments with it and the more useful your tags are the better. my “if you came into their room in the middle of the night” post was the experiment, and it turned out that i was right, more tags ≠ more interaction

on that note, INTERACT WITH PEOPLE. this isn’t against anyone who doesnt like interacting, but it can help build relationships with followers! if you’re comfortable with this, you can open your asks box so people can say stuff (you don’t have to have anons on but it can be nice for ppl who are shy/dont want their acc out yk)! if you get anon hate, just block the anon if you want. or dont respond.

also, it’s rlly cool to get a few mutuals! i’d love to be your mutual if you want to, just lmk your account whenever you start posting! sometimes i make mutual posts asking for mutuals, you can do something like that if you would like

my first ever oneshot thing i wrote, was one i rlly remember writing! that might not be the same for my viewers, but i usually remember someone by the first thing i’ve seen by them. first impressions matter, so try and figure out how you wanna be seen! ofc don’t fake being someone you’re not, but it might be confusing to ppl if your first impression doesn’t match with how you act the rest of the time!

your first post usually sets the tone for your blog, or at least the first one that gets you your audience. if you, in your first post that gains you followers, say that you’ll be writing for danganronpa, and then instead write for mha, everyone would kinda be like. what? i thought you were a danganronpa writer??? ya know

BE SURE TO INCLUDE GENERAL TRIGGER WARNINGS ON POSTS THAT NEED THEM. ADD THE TOPIC ITS WARNING ABOUT TOO. EVERYONE WILL APPRECIATE IT BECAUSE IT IS JUST A NICE THING TO DO PLEASE DO THAT!!

i suggest making a navigation page (like my pinned post) and a masterlist (you can do all your writing in one or even seperate masterlists for each character, whatever you’d like)! it can really help to have a spot to go and be able to find all of the writing you’ve done without endless scrolling! if you need a tut on how to add links to posts, im sure theres a tut on youtube!

A REALLY HELPFUL THING TO DO IS WHENEVER YOURE MOTIVATED WRITE LIKE FIVE THINGS SO WHEN YOU DONT FEEL LIKE WRITING, YOU HAVE POSTS! fr tho, ppl usually wont mind if you arent super active. if they do, theyre being dumb!

posting consistently CAN help your posts reach more ppl, but if you can only post every now and then, it isnt really a problem! don’t stress it if you’re too busy/dont have a schedule, it wont kill your account

tl:dr;

-add trigger warnings on things when needed

-make a navi page (not needed)

-if you’re motivated, write stuff to post later

-first impressions matter

-mutuals!

-less tags can work more, but i’ve also seen a lot of tags work good as well

-INTERACT WITH PEOPLE

-don’t say you’ll do things just for followers. they aren’t just a number, they’re actual people

how i started in five steps:

1. i made a post that was like “hey! im mack and i want to start doing writing requests! do you guys have any?”

2. i did a few posts then was like ah fuck i need a masterlist, so i made that and then made an about me with random facts i thought of and such. (also make sure tou put your pronouns in your bio so ppl arent confused!)

3. i did more posts and started gaining, but didn’t really mind it. i kind of just vibed, cause the numbers dont determine how good of a writer you are, so i focused on working on my writing style and such! i kinda ghosted the whole blog for a week straifht beside from queued reblogs, but came back later when i had inspo! it’s good not to run your brain dry

4. i redid my whole blog, made it pretty! its rlly motivating to me to have a nice blog, but it isnt required! i made an organized navigation page, and started focusing on getting my reach back. (btw, prime posting time is at like midnight!) be sure to put rules and boundaries on your page as well, so people do not end up crossing one that you didn’t state.

5. i reminded myself that i can do things other than my blog when i’d get a little too obsessive over it, and that it wasn’t going anywhere! don’t feel pressured to post a LOT. only post when you want to and can. don’t put responsibilities like health aside just for your blog.

hope this was helpful <3

#writing tips #swaggy.m #blog tips

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helly-watermelonsmellinfellon · 4 years ago

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So an Insidious Leatherface decides to be an ass and camp the Basement in the boat on the swamp. He’s at the top of the stairs and slightly off to the side behind some boxes/barrels, out of line of sight from the one direction that I guess he expected ppl to come from because that side is where the Basement is? His terror radius is GONE. Anyway, I saw him at a distance and Urban Evaded around to the other entrance of the boat and slipped behind him and into the Basement. I was waiting for one of the others to come closer so he’d move - revealing his terror radius - so I could use Borrowed Time(and it worked!). So while Laurie runs, I loudly rush into a Locker and then slowly get out and Urban Evade behind the side wall by the Hooks. Laurie makes use of Borrowed Time and gets away, and Leatherface comes down, goes right by me toward the back to check the Lockers and I slip around him again and use Sprint Burst to get out. He must have seen my scratch marks because he rage-quit before I even got off the boat! XD

Got several great swf Escapes(Tuesday)! Running Unbreakable and Borrowed Time with friends is the best decision. And we both were running Flashlights too!

So we had a match against a Ghost Face and Friend asks me, “What Rank would you say this is?” cuz the dude was whiffing a shit ton on all of us and got Gen-rushed. I suggested “Rank 17″ to which I was told I was being way too generous. And when he got my friend on a Hook finally I was right there to unHook him with BT and while I got downed, he used it to get me with BT and we 360′d GF a few times, Flashlight Blinded him each, then ran away, Healed up in the shack, and finished the Gens. We were able to Rescue Meg from the Hook by distracting and body-blocking all the way to the door Ace opened, and the Killer kind of gave up after ruthlessly tunneling Meg for the last 3 Gens. He stood there while we Healed her up in the door and then we all teabagged and Flashlighted him for points before leaving. Turns out he was a Rank 17 and it was then that we felt bad for our endgame behavior. Juking a newb with only two Tier 1 Perks isn’t something to get cocky about even if it provided amusing content.

^I don’t teabag or Flashlight Flick until I’m inside the door because doing so mid-match is inviting the Killer to be a douche in return. If I were to do that and get tunneled and then camped, I wouldn’t mind because I knew I invited it upon myself. Simple. And you know, GF did not Disconnect so he’s got more guts than a lot of Red Rank Killers out there.

Got to lead a Huntress on a long loop while the last dude lay dying on the ground next to us. He crawls away while I’m looping and ducking under Iridescent hatchets, and uses Unbreakable to get away. She gets distracted, looking for where he went, and I use Sprint Burst to get to the shack so I can loop her there instead. It was great! Eventually I was able to use Urban Evasion to get away from the shack and she stayed there for like 2 minutes, looking for me in the lockers up top and then in the basement while I did the Gen near the shack that gave me a perfect view through the window. I finished the last Gen, David was going for the far door(the 1 was next to me and he wouldn’t dare be on that side of the map with the Huntress while Injured), and I used Adrenaline to get across the map to him. She rage-quit before we actually got out.

I had 6 matches in a row today(Wednesday), where it was Red Ranks against newb Killers. All Ranks 17-20, all running Tier 1 Perks. All whiffing so badly that they all ended up rage-quitting about a minute into the match. I waited about 20 minutes each time just to get into a match, only for the Killers to DC because they don’t get their way in the first 60 seconds. But you know, there’s nothing wrong with the MMR right now! We’re all just whiny babies over here.

Had a Huntress with Whispers and when she’d search my area I’d pick a hiding spot and end up hiding next to a Hex Totem! She had 4 Hex Perks! Anyway, I Cleansed all of them and then Urban Evaded a distance away to watch her check the area out and find nothing!

Did the Exhaustion Build again! I had some great games and then I got Shelter Woods. It’s the only map without a drop point. There’s a big tree in the center of the map that you can kind of run up on the roots, but the drop isn’t high enough most of the time. Few people manage to do it just right to get Balanced Landing to work. It was a bit of a bummer.

Got an Oni to waste his precious power on me 2 times in a row, because he sucked at turning mid-sprint. 3 Gens got done in that time and he finally left me because he used up all the blood in the area leftover from the beginning of the match when a Nea ran him for a bit. He never got in a hit and refused to try to hit me for the rest of the match, which let me get a whole Gen done by myself!

Ended up bullying a Rank 19 Wraith who only had Tier 1 Deerstalker and a Bone Clapper add-on. He came at me in the beginning and I ran him around the same loop in a corner for 2 minutes before I randomly threw down the pallet and the used Lithe with it on my next run around. We ran him around so bad and then felt bad in the endgame lobby when we saw the details. This matchmaking is really bad right now. It isn’t fair to all players.

Had a Michael on Midwich. Ran around with this Nea cuz she had Prove Thyself and we got a Gen done and most of another before she ran away cuz Michael was coming. He tunneled Nea for the last 3 Gens because she made him drop someone with her Flashlight. So it’s her last Hook and she has Borrowed Time on. He finally downs her, but she has DS and gets free. I’m following behind in hopes that I can help somehow. She gets him to the other side of the building and downstairs before going down in a room with no Hooks. I make him whiff once in the room and the once in the hall. Adrenaline pops and I get in front of him in the room he’s going for to stand in front of the Hook. She had Boil Over so he was swaying side to side and missed 2 more hits from that alone. Then he landed a hit on me finally and I crouch away. She wiggles off! She blinds him! And then again. It was a chain-blind that was like 12 seconds long. I’m crouching away so my Exhaustion goes down. I’ve got a Syringe which is 16 seconds before I’m Healed up totally. I use it and then get behind her as she runs. Exhaustion is finally over! I wait for Michael to get close enough and then Dead Hard to a nearby window so he misses and I get distance. I lose him in the next room and the Syringe takes effect! I run for the exit to find it open. Nea comes flying around the corner and vaults for distance. I get between her and Michael and he lands a hit on me instead as the remaining Survivors come to the door. We all teabag before leaving. That Nea sent me a message that was basically lots of BROOOOOOOO GGs BROOOOO FUCKIN SICK! I’m so proud! Also, I won’t pity Michael cuz he tunneled someone the whole fucking match! Rank 12 or not. Too bad.

Got a Ghost Face using Insidious. He kept coming back to the same Gen and Nea and I would climb out the window and watch him from the other side as he'd kick it. So for the umpteenth time, he chose to stand in the bushes beside it and his terror radius vanished. She and I were on either side of the window, able to see him but he wouldn’t have seen us if he looked in our direction. We were teabagging and pointing at each other the whole time! The last 2 Gens popped while we goofed off and GF rage-quit immediately when he realized no one was coming back to that Gen! Rank 1 Killer btw.

I can’t seem to get Sprint Burst to work on Meg. I tried several matches with other Survivors and it works fine for them but not Meg. I’m still getting Exhausted as if I used it though. wtf???

Played some Trapper for a few Challenges and had 3 Basement games in a row! I had all the traps on the map surrounding the Basement on all sides! Either side of the window, in one doorway, plus at the outside corners in the grass if someone tried to loop me. At the top of the stairs and the rest haphazardly on the floor of the shack so they’d have to do some intense workouts to get out of the building. My build made it so no matter how far they ran from the shack I could carry them all the way back there with no problem. Dead Hard would save them from 1 trap(usually the one blocking the stairs) but not all of them and that was the plan! And I had a Stitched Bag for more traps, and an Iridescent Stone on so any un-set trap re-sets itself every 30 seconds. So even if one was disarmed, it’ll re-set itself soon without me having to work for it. Usually in the time it takes for them to safely unHook and then to get everyone up the stairs! ^-^

At least the auras don’t look like shit anymore.

#stuff

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dirkwriteshomestuck · 5 years ago

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biggest cartman mistakes

okay so normally i don’t make big serious posts like this but since it's his birthday i think i deserve to go off about this

generally this is in fics, art, roleplaying, whatever you do that requires interpreting cartman in some way that’s not going off of canon

1: giving him empathy and/or sympathy

hey... guess what. cartmans a psychopath. like, he’s clinically a psychopath. and i don’t even think i have to go into that because it’s practically canon, just unspoken

he doesn’t care about other people and he doesn’t feel bad about them. ever. he can pretend and lie about it, and he might be upset if something happened to someone and it negatively affected him directly, but he literally does not care about other people

if i see 1 more post of cartman crying at _’s bedside while they’re in the hospital with no ulterior motives i’m going to kill myself

2: stop focusing on season 1, there’s been 21 more goddamn seasons

so i hate seeing people bring up season 1 cartman. he’s completely different character in season 1 then he is now, and honestly it’s annoying seeing everyone ignore *every other goddamn season* because they want him to still be a soft brat whose problems can all be chocked up to abuse

like at least if you’re only going to go off of season 1 can you say that? instead of pretending that he’s the same

i also hate when people take season 1 cartman and then cherrypick scenes to apply from the later seasons to keep him soft and cute but you know.... also still have later season content because he’s only like thAT FOR ONE FUCKING SEASON

like stop you can’t have the best of both worlds. you can’t only take cartmans cuter or manipulative moments and then say they’re genuine and he still acts like he did in the first season

3: stereotyping and cherry picking

okay so obviously i already said some stuff about cherry picking but there’s still more to be said on that past just the season 1 stuff

so cartmans a really complicated, nuanced, well-written character with SO so many layers? and obviously that’s hard to do. that’s hard to copy. but the solution to that is NOT ignoring half of his character or only picking certain traits that you like more/can do and saying that’s his whole character

and normally this is always made worse because nobody has his fundamentals right

4: he’s a sadist, boys

so like not only is he a psychopath with no empathy that’s completely self-motivated, he’s also literally canonly a sadist

i know so many ppl that shit on and make fun of “big mean asshole over the top sadist cartman” and act like it’s the opposite of soft uwu cartman and that you need something inbetween (and that is true, because you know. he’s not just a basic caricature with 3 character traits) but it’s honestly WAY more ic then the other thing

i think most of the issue with both of those caricatures and how they both mess up is that they’re both strictly like either romance or sexually intended so he’s not a sadist because that’s how he is ic! he’s a sadist because he’s a nazi or bc he’s a top in a ship. which obviously is also shit

5: “he’s older now! he’s better! he’s healed and went to therapy!”

therapy isn’t a cure all of all problems and i’ve literally never seen a good “improved” or “healthier” cartman

ever

literally ever

and again i’d say a lot of this is because no one knows his fundamentals? i think anyone that doesn’t write cartman as a sociopath at least is doing something wrong. or is setting themselves up for failure

cartmans insane. i think that’s the best way to put it and i think that anyone that just like, puts him in therapy and acts like he was just a meanie >:( neurotypical kid with no mental issues or lasting problems (besides the stuff that you like and want him to still have of course! lol!) is just like

idk. i think it’s shitty and obviously erasing or whatever people call it

i guess they’re headcanons technically but they just have so much place in canon that i rarely consider them that

i’d personally diagnose cartman with being a psychopath (obviously) and also some form of psychosis (it’s obviously attached to something bc you can’t just Have psychosis, but i don’t know what it’d be attached to)

i don’t think the psychopathy is talked about pretty much at all but i do know that saying cartman hallucinates has always been pretty controversial

however, most people don’t actually KNOW that much about hallucinations. do you remember the fishsticks episode? or the episode where cartman is deadset on kyle having the picture of him and butters?

those are delusions! and guess what? delusions are fucking hallucinations. and those are just clearcut examples, he’s delusional in pretty much every episode. i think the fishsticks one is the most clear that it’s genuine because he literally stuck with that to his near demise

end

anyways that’s it, thanks for listening to my ted talk. happy birthday eric cartman, maybe next year there’ll be more then like 5 people that can interpret you decently

this is so goddamn messy but yeah share this with anyone whose heard of the name eric cartman before

#south park #sp #eric cartman #discussion #jesus christ this is long but i've been wanting to write this for like. over a year #serious post #i'm not reading over this @ me for typos

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fymoanstax · 7 years ago

Text

Deokspatch X: Haunted House

Request: Hello! Could you do Monsta X going into a haunted house (deokspatch x style?) With a staff member (Y/N) and Y/N tries to go in all tough but at the end shes hiding in the boys back and won't let go of them, and the boys are like "I want this cute smol squish to be mine" and tries to woo her. I hope this makes sense! ~Hiding

Here you go! We hope you like it!

~Admin Wonhoe and Admin Hyungwon

Shownu/Hyunwoo (Written By: Admin Wonhoe)

Zombies. Oh man why did it have to be zombies.

When the guys picked their haunted house/escape room thing randomly you had thanked every god watching over you that the other guys didn’t choose you.

There were some really scary themes. Chainsaw murderer. Abandoned prison. Dark Night in the woods.

But Shownu chose you and he pulled Zombie Maze.

And you are,,,,,,,,,,scared of zombies

Like terrified actually

You might have watched too many ‘documentaries’ about how the undead could reanimate one day

And you watched zombie movies with your friends despite being scared

But Shownu chose you to assist and you were going because mama didn’t raise a little bitch

Halfway through you change your mind IMMEDIATELY

Because mama DID NOT raise a little bitch

She raised a BIG BITCH

You were literally cowering in fear right behind Shownu

Because his current mission was to get the key

The key was in an open room

With a zombie(actor obviously) standing inside of it

And Shownu wanted,,,,to,,,,,,,go,,,,in,,there

As a staff member you knew that they wouldn't touch you, you were there when all the paperwork and stuff was signed

But as Y/N you were freaking out

Shownu noticed and pulled you off to the side

But the cameras were still rolling because any content is good content

“Are you alright?”

You nodded your head but the look on you face didn’t quite convince him

“You don’t have to go in with me. I can do it myself. “

“Yeah okay….I mean I totally would go in but this is your mission and all you know. I know where everything is I’m not scared or anything. Good luck.”

So Shownu does try to get into the room and you just chill against this gate thing

And you watch him struggle for a few minutes then he disappears into the room

You kinda chill and try to ignore all the other staff members that are standing behind cameras or just watching this go down

And out of literally nowhere

A HAND POPS OUT OF THE CHAIN FENCE THING

AND WHEN YOU TURN YOUR HEAD

ZOMBIE

You scream so loud and run away from the chain fence thing so fast

You run straight into Shownu’s chest. His very hard very defined chest. Wow he must work out a lot how did you not notice this befo---waIT

If these zombies were popping out. And Shownu had the key...that meant

Your eyes widen in realization and you kind of pat your hand against his chest urgently, “Shownu Shownu Shownu we have to go we have to run!!”

He’s kind of confused???? Why are you literally SHAking right now

“Shownu! Run! The rest of the mission is to escape the zombies. There’s a gate that’s locked by a padlock and you have the key!”

Suddenly out of nowhere at least a dozen zombies (actors obv) start running at you from the door you entered and you’re like frozen in fear

Shownu notices AND suddeNLY you’re in HIS ARMS.

He has physically picked you up bridal style

And is SPRINTING through the maze.

Zombies are jumping out left and right but they’re not affecting him at all

He like has no fear

And you’re just clinging onto him and wow his muscles are RLLY out here you know

Okay nevermind back to you being scared out of your wits because he has put you down near the gate

But your back is kinda towards the gate and shownu is kind of using his own body to shield yours while he frantically tries to put the key in the padlock

And he’s breathing kinda heavy bc he just ran while carrying you and wow he looks like a WHOLE man

But anyway he’s successful and he get the two of you out of that whole haunted house thing and you don’t know why but your legs kind of give out under you even if you didn’t run but you attribute it to fear so you just lay on the ground

And Shownu is next to you in .0001 seconds and the two of you laugh

Shownu turns his head to you with a smile and he just

“You know I was only scared one time during that whole thing?”

“I couldn’t even tell you were scared.”

“I got scared when you screamed because I thought you were hurt or something.”

Oh my gosh are you blushiNG??? The answer is yes.

Anyway literally this whole thing was filmed and you’re so embarrassed when you’re watching it later but everyone else thinks its so cute. The other members. The other staff. EVEN FANS.

Wow. Incredible.

Wonho/Hoseok (Written By: Admin Wonhoe)

Just two friends. Sitting in a cell in an abandoned prison. Waiting for the cue to start so you can escape!

Okay so you’re sitting with wonho on this creaky, uncomfortable prison bed

And suddenly there’s a loud alarm kinda like what would happen if there was an escaped convict or something you know

(We are Pristin!) Wee woo wee woo wee

Lockdown

Lol fun times right

W R O N G

Bc deokspatch x is apparently rlly rich and the budget is sky high so they had enough money to pay actual ppl to pretend to be PRISONERS

And and and maybe they ALL ESCAPED THEIR CELLS

THEY ALL LOOK SO CONVINCING

And why did they all have weapons

This vaguely reminded you of the time wonho was in sistar’s music video and he had a pink police outfit with a police baton wowowow

Wait no don’t think about that now.

You need to assist wonho in escaping

But wonho is literally having no trouble

Like he’s weaving in and out of people and you’re struggling to catch up up bc

“Wonho, I have shorter legs than you slow down before I get-”

And suddenly you’re GONE

Like you can’t see anything and you were pulled away

You tried resisting but this person was v strong

And you coulDNT SCREAM

WHAT IS THIS THIS IS A FAMILY FRIENDLY SERIES WHY WERE YOU BEING ADULTNAPPED

When you’re finally let free and you can see again you’re in this like room place that looks like a DUNGEON (but its not) and its rlly small you can tell

You don’t even see who adultnapped you

Maybe you’re freaking out a little

A lot actually

Its also dark

And you begin feeling around the small room and you finally grab something familiar

Its a walkie talkie

You use these things all the time with other staff members

So you turn it on and talk into it

“...Hello?”

And small tv in the wall turns on and there’s static and then it clears up and the thing on screen makes you ?!?!?!?!?1?!?1/1/1

“Lets play a game.”

OH HECK NO

YOU DID NOT SIGN UP TO PLAY WITH JIGSAW

“HEllo whoever is on the other end of this WALKIE TALKIE BETTER RESPOND BEFORE I QUITE LITERALLY DIE”

“Y/N. IS THAT YOU?”

“WONHO! It’s me”

“What happened to you? Where did you go?”

“You were walking too fast for me to keep up. I was adultnapped and now jigsaw is out to MURDER ME.”

“Does this have anything to do with my mission?”

“Above you there is a bucket full of an unknown substance.”

You look up and sure enough THERE IS A BUCKET HOLY SHIT

“Your partner must make it through the prison in the dark, retrieve the key card from a prisoner in solitary confinement, and find the room you’re in in under 30 minutes or else the contents of the bucket will be dumped over you. Good luck.”

WHAT THE FUkc

“Wonho did you hear the same message as I did?”

Before Wonho responds there’s a rlly loud bang and every single light goes out and you didn’t think it could get any darker but IT IS PITCH BLACK NOW

You’re,,,,,,,,,,,,extremely scared of the dark.

But you’re not going to let wonho know that

Wait why were you even in this situation

YOU WERE JUST A STAFF MEMBER

When they told you you were going to have a very important role today you didn’t think they meant this

“Wonho no pressure or anything but 30 minutes isn’t a lot of time and I don’t want to be drenched in whatever is in that bucket. Could be ketchup. Syrup. Water. Paint. Please you know do this fast.”

Ummm a couple of many minutes pass and you’re sitting in the dark curled up in a little ball with your eyes shut.

Why hasn’t wonho responded?????

OH YEAH MAYBE BECAUSE HE’S GOING THROUGH A SEA OF PRISONERS IN THE DARK

You feel like this mission was destined for failure from the start

Every once in a while you hear Wonho breathing into the walkie talkie probably trying to get in some words before something crazy happens.

Deokspatch x is wiLD

The next time the walkie talkie makes a noise wonho gets the chance to talk but he’s breathing heavily

“I just,,,,ran up,,,,,,,,,4 flights of stairs for,,,,,,,,,,,,,you”

“I’m supposed to be helping you but they’re using me like A PROP. GET ME OUT OF HERE.”

“I’m working on it. Are you okay?”

“Besides the fact that it’s incredibly dark and I’m not fond of the dark I’m fine.”

“I’ll get you out. I promise.”

“You’re making this sound like some kind of drama just come get me before I have a break down.”

You were going to look at your watch to see how much time he had left but oh yeah YOU CANT SEE

You get up and go to the door because you’re sure someone is out there

“HOW MUCH TIME DOES HE HAVE LEFT YOU TRAITORS.”

“2 minutes.” Oh wow so casual about it not even- waiT

2 MINUTES?!?!?!?1

You kind of begin to count down in your head from the point where they tell you he has 2 minutes left

It’s a little nerve wracking

1 minute 30 seconds

…

1 minute

…

30 seconds

…

20 seconds

…

And that’s when you hear someone shuffling about outside

“Wonho is that you?”

“Um,,,,,yes but there are also many many doors and it’s still dark so keep talking to me so I can find you.”

“There are literally only 20 seconds left Wonho. Just swipe the card through every one!”

“I can’t even see the thing!”

“WONHO GET ME OUT OF HERE.”

You were restless at this point. It had been a whole 30 minutes almost that you were locked in this room in the dark and you weren’t having any of it.

But you heard some whirring and you realize the the bucket was beginning to tip over and it wasn’t a small bucket it was kinda big so it would hit you no matter where you stood.

So you start banging on the door so wonho can find the right one

And you hear the card swipe through the keypad

And it dings

And it turns green

And you celebrate because he got the door open

Except wonho notices the bucket is still tilting

But you don’t

“Y/N!”

He quite literally pushes you down under him and kinda covers you with his own body

And then there’s a splash and you do get wet but it’s not like you’re soaked or anything

But you feeldripping and that’s when you realize that Wonho has saved you from what smells and looks like milk because its white and really freaking cold

You turn your head to the rest of the staff

“YOU GUYS ARE JERKS FOR USING ME LIKE THIS”

You notice Wonho shivering so you ask him to take his wet jacket off but boy was that a mistake

It was like you were at a wet tshirt contest and he was the only contestant

Ding ding we have a winner

Anyway even though you know it won’t fit him you hand over your own jacket and he thanks you

But he still cold

So you hug him

And you’re obv much warmer than he is so he kinda embraces you back but tighter

And it’s rlly cute

And everyone awwww’s

But you’re just glaring at them

“Are you okay? I know you’re afraid of the dark so I tried to get to you as fast as possible. Sorry I took so long though.”

You MELT

HES SUCH A SWEETEHEART

“I’ll live. Thanks, Wonho”

Can you believe wonho just wants to protecc and love you forever

God what a sweetie pie muffin baby love cake precious man.

Minhyuk (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)

Minhyuk was kind of scared of doing this little haunted house thing by himself, but he calmed down a little when realizing that you would be there.

Like he was so relieved that he did not have to be alone during this.

Like yeah he had to work through the room himself, but at least he wouldn’t be scared out of his mind.

You on the other hand were terrified.

You had no idea really when actors would jump out and stuff like that. You just knew the answers to all the problems.

Plus there was spiders.

They were fake but it still freaked you out.

But were you about to show your fear in front of Monsta X’s very own Minhyuk?

No, you sure as hell weren’t.

So you tried to keep your cool, leaning against anything that could be leaned against.

Staying away from Minhyuk bc you were actually gripping your own arm really tightly and it was obvious.

You guys were at a particularly spidery place and it was freaking you out, but like he had a clue in here and you just had to power through.

He was powering through and like it kinda impressed you because how can someone be so calm during this.

Well, he was cracking jokes the entire time so that might’ve helped.

In this part though, he couldn’t find the clue.

Like of all the places that he had trouble finding a clue it had to be in the one that you’re pretty sure you had nightmares about when you were a kid.

But you were there to help him so you couldn’t really like just leave when he now needed help.

“Hey Y/N I can’t find this one thing do you think you can help—”

Before he could finish his question a (fake) spider fell from the ceiling and in front of you and you let out a huge squeak and crouched down to try and avoid it.

But like, you just...crouched...so it was just hovering above you….

Luckily for Minhyuk that’s where the clue was lol

You knew it was on a spider but like...not that it had to fall from the ceiling.

You were pretty shook and Minhyuk really saw that.

When you opened your eyes you saw Minhyuk crouching in front of you, looking worried.

“Are you...afraid of spiders?”

You just stared at him bc like no shit sherlock, but you still gotta put up your front, so you just stand up and dust off your shirt.

“I’m fine I just got sc—”

You heard the sound effects of spiders and yelped, grabbing onto Minhyuk’s arm on instinct.

He looked at you, clutching onto his arm and (he lowkey found it adorable) just kind of gave you a look.

“Yes I’m afraid of spiders!”

He laughed, but you didn’t let go of his arm.

“It’s fine I’ll protect you.”

You glared at him but let it go

“Okay let’s go. You got the clue now let’s just do the thing and leave.”

He laughed at your urgency and just kept walking.

At this point you didn’t even hide that you were scared.

You just followed Minhyuk around, clutching at the back of his shirt so that he wouldn’t leave you behind.

He’d slow down and let you catch up.

Tbh he was really acting all tough bc he had promised to protect you and god damn it he was gonna do that bc you are a smol bean.

At some point, after you had accidentally tugged his shirt too hard and he almost fell backwards, he used that as an excuse to do some hand holding.

So yes, this is Minhyuk, holding your hand, because you are scared of spiders. Can you believe it?

He holds your hand throughout the entirety of his mission and by the end of it you’re kinda embarrassed?

You go to take your hand back but then he just smiles at you and squeezes your hand.

“Hey, if you ever need anyone to hold your hand for whatever reason, I’m your guy.”

You scream. (internally)

Kihyun (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)

Honestly, you didn’t want to be chosen for this because you sure as hell knew that you would be crying.

You didn’t hide fear very well.

But of course that meant you had to go.

You just hoped it'd be for something simple like the woods.

Nope.

Killer clowns.

Kihyun had picked killer clowns.

And then had picked you to help him.

You almost died right there.

When it came to it though, you told yourself that you'd act all tough and prove to yourself you wouldn't get scared.

3 seconds in, you heard a clown laugh and you clutched onto Kihyun so quick that you scared him more than the actual clowns.

“Uhh…..Y/N are you okay?”

“I'm fine! Just keep going!”

You were not fine.

You kept trying to let go of his arm but you also kept immediately latching onto him again.

Kihyun noticed that and from his point of view you looked like a scared kitten

It was comforting bc he was also scared.

But he was trying his hardest to hide it.

“How are you not scared? There are clowns everywhere.”

Kihyun was very confused?

Were you that scared that you didn’t notice him nearly about to just start running?

“Are you kidding me, I’m terrified. I haven’t even gotten the mission yet!”

Your heart dropped when you remembered where the mission card was supposed to be given to him by one of the clowns.

He noticed your expression and got very worried.

“It’s uh…..with a clown…..”

He looked at you like that was the worst possible thing but like

If you were afraid of the clowns

And he was afraid of the clowns

Who was going to talk to the clowns????

In the 30 seconds you two just stood there staring at each other, he realized that wow.

He really didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of you.

So if he had to talk to a clown with a chainsaw, pretend to not be terrified (despite already admitting he was), and then do the mission, then so be it.

“Okay. Let's get my mission from a clown.”

You went to cheer for him but instead a clown jumped out right behind you.

So naturally you screamed and found yourself hugging Kihyun tightly.

He honestly did not know what to do with himself.

A cute girl is hugging him and all he can do is like not freak out bc

1) A CUTE GIRL IS HUGGING HIM And

2) the clown jumping out scared him too

He decided to hug you back bc you were actually shaking.

“Oh hey there's the mission.”

He took the paper from the clown, while still hugging you with his other arm.

It was cold outside but like...he was v warm????

Also, he just stayed hugging you so it made you warm and you guess part of your shaking was because you were cold bc that slightly got better.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“You know what my mission is right?”

“.....yeah.”

“How exactly do I bring back a clown mask that isn’t being used?”

“Very carefully?”

He sighed and started walking again, but his grip on you tightened.

Granted, you didn’t exactly let go of him either, but you expected that he’d like...stop hugging you.

“I can let go if it’ll speed things up”

“Nah. You seem less scared like this.”

But also he was less scared like that?

(Also again, he got to hug a cute girl lol)

You guys walked like that until he did eventually find the mask.

“Here, hold this.”

He picked up the mask and went to place it on your face but before he could a clown jumped out from behind a tree and screamed at you two.

You both gunned it.

Kihyun had let go of you and you had let go of Kihyun but hey, he got the mask.

You saw him look around as he ran and realized he slowed down a little which confused you a little

Until he actually grabbed your hand and ran faster, making sure you weren’t slipping away.

Like boy really slowed down to save you to make sure you weren’t killed by a killer clown.

Okay you were both overreacting bc the clown stopped following you guys like right as you started running.

But when you got back to the starting point you were both out of breath, and like the crew and the rest of the boys were just staring at you two.

Suddenly, you felt something be placed on your head?

It was Kihyun’s hand.

“Are you okay?”

You nod, and then a heavier thing is placed on your head.

“There. I was right. You are still pretty cute with a clown mask on.”

At least that mask hid how red your face was

And your embarrassment of being terrified of clowns of all things and then immediately clinging onto Kihyun.

Whatever, he called you cute.

Jooheon (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)

When Jooheon chose you to accompany him, you were kind of relieved because like he seemed so sure that he was going to not be scared.

Like even when he pulled the ‘ghosts’ card, he didn’t seem phased.

In fact, he was p cocky about the whole ordeal.

But it reassured you at least that this would be an easy thing.

“Hey Y/N, you scared?”

He grinned at you, walking with you to the steps of the house.

“Nah.”

Ghosts didn’t really scare you?

So you thought maybe you’d be fine.

But really, you were actually scared of ghosts.

You just downplayed it in your memories, but watching ghost movies made you not sleep for days.

So there you two were, about to head into a house that was filled with ghosts meant to terrify you.

You knew where the mission card was, of course.

But you could only help when he was really stuck.

You didn’t expect the scaring to happen so early though.

Like you two just walked into the house and when you passed the second room, an actress walked out from the end of the hallway, towards you.

It was then you remembered that you were actually terrified of ghosts.

But apparently Mr. I-Won’t-Be-Scared over there was also terrified.

Because boy took off running the other direction.

Screaming.

Louder than you were screaming.

You ran to follow him though bc you were not bouta be left alone there.

But as you were running there came another ghost????

Like heading right towards you????

You were literally about to run into him when you felt yourself get pulled away.

You turned to look and there stood Jooheon himself, looking slightly red.

“You said you wouldn’t be scared!”

You immediately tell him.

“So did you!”

“They’re terrifying! I didn’t think they’d be!”

“That makes two of us!”

You guys just go back and forth about how you rlly didn’t think it’d be this scary until the director physically has to call you and tell you two to keep going.

“Okay at least we don’t have to pretend that we’re not scared.”

You reassure him, but really it was an excuse for you to like, not suffer silently.

“Here, hold my hand.”

Jooheon offered his hand and you looked at him weird.

“Why?”

“So if we have to run again we won’t get separated!”

“Okay yeah good idea.”

This obviously wasn’t a ploy for him to hold your hand ;)

Actually, it really wasn’t.

Boy was just trying to get you and him out there alive.

Finally, you both made it to the room where his mission card was.

But when you walked in, a ghost popped out from inside the closet and you swear you were about to just like die.

But get this.

Jooheon pushed you behind him.

Like the ghost popped out, and his immediate instinct was to make sure you were behind him.

The ghost wasn’t like...moving...it was just watching you two.

So Jooheon kept eye contact with the ghost, moving slowly, but still making sure you were right behind him.

He actually ushered you to grab onto his arm.

So you did.

It was v muscular and if you didn’t just almost die 2 seconds ago you would have admired it more.

Anyway, he walked slowly, making sure the ghost didn’t like suddenly scream, took the mission card, and then slowly walked out the room.

You felt him relax as soon as you two were out.

“Okay. Now we can get this over w— I have to hug the ghost inside that room.”

“I...forgot that was the mission.”

“Y/N. If I die from fright, just know that—”

“Oh my God, Jooheon, please just hug the ghost so we can L E A V E.”

He just laughed and made his way back into the room, with you following behind him.

Jooheon was rlly just delaying it bc like what if the ghost screamed.

He’d scream too.

And then he knew that you’d scream too and he rlly felt bad that he left you behind that one time, making you more scared than necessary.

Eventually, he gave the actor a hug.

And he didn’t scream, so that was good.

But immediately after, Jooheon grabbed your hand and just made his way out.

Ghosts kept trying to pop out but Jooheon was not having it.

He just held your hand tighter and like just didn't look at the people bc he would have screamed and he was not bout to do that while holding your hand.

He looked back at you, grinning, and it made you laugh for some reason.

When you two made it outside, both of you were laughing.

“Hey, Y/N.”

Before you could answer he just….pulled you into a huge bear hug.

“Jooheon???”

Your voice was muffled bc your face was in his shirt.

“I felt like you needed that hug more than the ghost.”

“Well in that case so do you!”

So you two just stand there.

Hugging each other.

He was a good hugger.

Hyungwon (Written By: Admin Hyungwon)

You really thought Hyungwon would be the one that’s super scared.

Like, you expected him to be running and screaming and everything.

Especially when he pulled out the chainsaw/axe murderer card.

And you knew the mission to that was to physically find the chainsaw and the axe and bring it back.

Sounds easy enough.

Except there’s actors that are chasing you.

And you hate those kinds of movies bc you know you’d die.

But, you just have to be brave now and not pee your pants.

Especially since Hyungwon is,,,,,,not scared,,,,,at all,,,,,

He’s making conversation with you, and you’re scared it’ll tip off the murderers where you’re at.

Okay, you know it’s fake but like it definitely feels like a life or death situation.

He's just, talking, trying to find the mission card.

Suddenly, you hear the rev of a chainsaw and that's when his composure shatters.

“What was that?”

“A chainsaw"

“Like….a real one?????”

“It's okay I'm p sure it's one of those safe chainsaws.”

You mean….they wouldn't use…..real chainsaws right?

When that passed, Hyungwon was,,,,,not scared again.

But you were on your toes, ready to sprint when needed.

“Hey are you okay?”

Hyungwon asks when he sees that you are very much cowering.

You say nothing bc you don't even know if you have the ability to speak.

“Is there anything I can do?”

Before he actually finished that sentence the chainsaw rev started up again, but this time it was right next to you two and there was a guy w a chainsaw.

In a glimpse, you saw hyungwon put his fists up, looking ready to fight. But you didn't stick around long enough to see if he did.

You fucking ran.

Like there was nothing that could stop you.

Except maybe like, Hyungwon grabbing your arm to slow you down.

“Hey hey he just had the mission. I got it.”

You catch your breath and look at him, seeing he had a piece of paper in his hands.

“Also how about this. You can just hold onto me. So it'll relieve your fear. And if anything scares you I'll just fight them.”

You laughed bc like he was p scrawny and the chainsaw man was maybe twice his weight.

You did take up on his offer though, and you grabbed onto his sleeve.

You honestly looked like a little kid.

Holding onto an adults sleeve so you wouldn't get lost.

But listen. You didn't know this but hyungwon was just really trying so hard to not freak out

Like you're freaking out enough for the both of you.

He just wants to make sure you're okay.

You looked worried from the second he picked you to assist him.

So he tried to tell jokes, make conversation, and try not to fight the chainsaw guy.

But you were still very scared.

He was relieved when you took his sleeve bc you looked less scared then.

Getting to the axe and chainsaw was more you being jumpy every time you heard a sound,rather than anything else.

But you guys did make it to the stuff.

“Okay I'll just grab these then we'll just leave.”

You nod and let go of his sleeve as he went to get the things.

But it seemed like that's what the actors were planning.

The moment you were alone, the two actors surrounded you, revving the chainsaw and swinging that axe.

You like plopped down on the floor.

That was your defense mechanism.

That's how you knew you'd die in a real situation like this.

But also since you were on the ground the view was scarier bc all you saw was chainsaw.

So you closed your eyes.

And then you heard screaming…..

The screaming got closer, and then you felt yourself get lifted up, and you were moving.

The screaming continued though.

You opened your eyes to see that hyungwon had lifted you up and started running away, while screaming in terror.

And he just kept running.

Eventually he stopped screaming though.

When he got back to the entrance, he put you down on your feet.

“Did you just bridal carry me out of a forest while screaming bloody murder?”

“Yeah I think I did. You're not scared now at least.”

“No, I'm not.”

Did he really do all that so you wouldn't be scared????

Yeah he did. Wow.

“Hey Hyungwon.”

Changkyun was laughing, very much enjoying what had just happened.

“You didn't do your mission.”

He looked at changkyun, and then at a nearby camera.

“Fuck.”

I.M/Changkyun (Written By: Admin Wonhoe)

Okay so you were currently standing in the middle of some woods

You knew it was a fenced off area, it was actually a dome, because you came in through a gate and you saw the edge of the dome with your own two eyes

But it must be a huge area

Because you were driven to the center in a golf cart

You were also,,,,,,,,,handcuffed to changkyun???

And it was night but you only had a measly head lamp

Changkyun was given a card and when he read it he seemed confident

“It says that we’re being hunted and that we have to find a bow and 6 arrows before we can escape”

“What’s hunting you?”

“Us. What’s hunting us.”

“I’m not part of this!”

“You’re handcuffed to me.”

“...Valid point.”

“Anyway all it says that we’re being hunted by a flesh hungry animal.”

Out of nowhere you hear a growl and Changkyun screams so loud but his voice is rlly deep so it sounds like another growl to you and you try to run but you’re HANDCUFFED TO CHANGKYUN

So instead you cling to him.

“Okay okay, I have an idea. We can find the edge of the dome and then we can climb up the dome and just dangle there for 24 hours and they’ll get the hint eventually..”

You facepalm with your free hand

“We are NOT climbing or hanging from anywhere. We have to find the bow and arrows.”

“But the flesh hungry animal is gonna get us!!!!”

“But nothing Changkyun, we are going to finish this mission and get out of here”

By now you’ve noticed that you’re clinging onto him so you let go and put some distance between the two of you

“This is MY mission.”

“Yeah well like you said we’re (all) in this together.”

Reluctantly Changkyun follows as you begin walking around from tree to tree and bush to bush to find the things you needed to collect

“WAIT. There’s a key for the handcuffs and I know where it is!”

“Where is it?”

“It….should be,,,,,,,,,,,,hanging from a tree.”

“THERE ARE SO MANY TREES Y/N.”

“We could go with the alternative option”

“What is that.”

“I can chop your hand off.”

“Y/N!”

The two of you are startled by a growling noise once again which you catch on is a sign to get the show on the road.

“I could let you in on a little secret.”

“What is that?”

“These aren’t real.” You hear the staff groan as you pull your hand out of the handcuff and begin running away.

Changkyun is quick though so he doesn’t lose sight of you

But what you didn’t expect to happen while you were running

Was for your headlamp to shut off.

WHILE YOU WERE RUNNING

You stop immediately and Changkyun crashes right into you causing his headlamp to fall off and break

It is now completely dark

“Good going changkyun! WAIT SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED ME”

Changkyun is now wildly punching and kicking around himself

“I hit something!”

You

He hit you

“THAT WAS ME.”

Another roar has the two of you magically running into each other's arms despite not being able to see each other.

“THAT WAS NOT ME.”

“Let’s go!”

Changkyun grabs your hand and begins running in any random direction. Was this mission even possible this area was so big

You’re literally walking around for at least twenty minutes with no luck.

There are a few scares

One time Changkyun ends up jumping in your arms and the two of you fall to the ground because you weren’t expecting it

Another time the two of you are trying so desperately to escape whatever it is chasing you that you literally sabotage and sacrifice each other

Changkyun trips you

You tell him to look somewhere while you run away

He manages to climb a tree but is too scared to jump down so you tell him you’ll catch him but he just ends up falling on top of you

“SOMETHING JUST BIT ME”

“Sorry that was me...Shownu lets me do it when I’m nervous.”

You guys were a mess

But anyway you were also having no luck

Like 40 minutes into filming the staff all laughs at something and you and changkyun are confused while trying to get twigs and leaves out of his hair after he fell while trying to lean against a tree

“What’s going on?”

“We forgot to set up the most important part of the mission. Someone found the bow and arrows back in one of the prop cars…”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME.”

You and Changkyun are like so done with this whole thing

They let you out and you’re both pouty and mad about it

Like a week later you’re watching the edited versions of all of the haunted houses and stuff like that and Changkyun’s comes up and its basically just a whole 10 minutes of you and him getting into a whole lot of shenanigans (+screaming)

You know those little sound effects and filters and effects they do on stuff like that well there are plenty of those

And you and Changkyun laugh at each other while watching it and you’re sitting rlly close to one another

And at scary parts you kinda grab his hand or scoot closer and its super cute

And Changkyun just lets you because he needs to protect you and make sure you’re safe

And yeah

302 notes · View notes

wonhuis · 5 years ago

Note

hey! sorry for not being that active, i got one final! i didn’t expect it tbh but since subjects have a limit of 3 years i was “forced” to take at least one if i wanted to keep my regularity. so yeah i prob didn’t pass but i just need a 4 to keep it cool. ah yes! exo m had a lot of potential, i still like exo tho, they are one of my first groups. i read you put seulgi in one of your tags, do you like rv? 1/? 🍰-sss

i feel your struggle is like i want to multitask but at the same time just for a little while. the game had a 80% discount i think, it was like woah steam and its christmas spirit came early this year. fbkjsfsbk gta betrayed you! can you change it tho? thank you! my stomach didn’t help me these few days but the stress didn’t help as well. I haven’t watch it but it’s on my list? would u rec it? 2/? 🍰-sss

idk a lot abt dramas, animes on the other hand💕 do u have any fav anime/s?jun in denim jacket is everything! it suits him very well, the red sweater he wore on going seventeen was amazing too! tbh everything he wears + black hair is my fav look. black hair suits him so well! but brown hair is my close 2nd fav. for clothes: sweaters, like a nice cream colour. i love when he wears jackets or big coats, he looks so cozy and my heart goes *boom* ¾ 🍰-sss

question: who would get along with the most in svt? also the whole mess thats going on bc of twitter and reposters, smh. people have no shame to not only steal content but believe they have the nerves to say “it’s just a gif”, then do it yourself. a lot of ccs spend time and effort doing it. twt is pure clownery. i hope u started well this week! (besides twt drama). also vernon + bugs lmao!!! i’d have done the same ngl 4/4 🍰-sss

oh sweetie don’t worry about it!! i’m not a consistent person myself so i tend to be inactive out of nowhere for a few days as well lmao but omg hope u at least got that 4!!! what are u studying, if you don’t mind me asking?

ah yes i still do love exo as well!!i mean baekhyun is still my ult lmao if ur a cheol stan are u also a suho one? oh but u said u liked exo m better lmao i just know so many ppl that are suho stans and also stan cheol lmao (and taeil from nct????) so i’m curious about it!!

and i do!!! we’ve been fighting a LOT recently because i really dislike the songs they dropped after bad boy but oh well, they’re still cute and i rlly like them!! not my fave gg of this generation bc twice exists, but they’re somewhere there with a few others lmao

oh i multitask all the time it’s an addiction honestly kkdskdj if i don’t do at least two things at the same time i absolutely can’t concentrate for some reason, but one of the things can be listening to music so it’s all good, like right now i’m answering this and listening to some glee performances LMAO but omg 80% is a reallyyyyy good discount!! i think i could still return gta but i paid it rlly cheap and i’m still planning on getting a new laptop so i don’t rlly wanna get rid of it lmao also i play it when i’m at my friend’s house sometimes

ah it was a really cute drama, but some things rlly annoyed me lmao i’d rec it because it’s cute and i’m hella biased towards jinyoung and jisoo lmao also i didn’t suffer that much but the final ep disappointed me a lot bc it felt rlly rushed :/ like the two seasons went at a certain pace and then the last ep felt too much, but it was still good!!

and i looooooooooove animes lmao my all time fave is fullmetal alchemist!!! for anime and for manga! i reread and rewatch it every single year and i’ve been doing it for 10 years lmao (i do the same with percy jackson because i’m crazy like that!!) but i also love haikyuu, bnha, tokyo ghoul (rip), kimetsu no yaiba, bungou stray dogs, kuroshitsuji and i’m a huge fan of shoujo too!! my fave is fruits basket, but i love gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun, kimi ni todoke, ao haru ride, akatsuki no yona, ore monogatari, ouran high school host club, kaichou wa maid sama and others! AND ALSO!! i love those cute slice of life ones like barakamon, tanaka-kun wa itsumo kedaruge, kyoukai no kanata and hyouka!! i’m always watching new anime but i also rewatch most of the animes i’ve watched, some that i really like to rewatch (besides the ones i’ve already said, that i have rewatched a few times lmao) are karneval, yamada-kun to nananin no majo and servamp! they all only have one season of 12 eps and they’re rlly easy to watch, that’s why i watch them a lot lmao

ANYWAY

omg yes black hair is everything to me i’m the biggest black hair suppremacist lmao BUT the brown comma hair he had during clap? AMAZING! his mansae brown hair was also REALLY nice, i rlly did enjoy the dirty blonde one from very nice too! and the pink!!!!! i love pink hair sO MUCH, I LOVE JUN IN EVERY HAIR COLOR LMAO HE LOOKS AMAZING IN ALL OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!! (but black hair is def my fave for anyone lmao except minghao bc i loved his clap hair the most)

CHEOL IN BIG AND WARM AND COZY JACKETS/SWEATERS/COATS YESSSSSS I LOVE IT TOO!!!! big and fluffy sweaters are my fave looks ever bc it’s just so cute my heart combusts always

also i think wonwoo? we have a similar kind of humor and we also like the same things, but even though i talk a lot i’m never the one to start the talk and neither is he, so we’d basically never talk LMAO but it’d be all good we could just hang around together in a comfortable silence while we read and pet my cats!! i’d also like to say minghao and vernon bc i love them but they’re kinda too deep for me lmao i’m a shallow person and i don’t like taking things too seriously so it’d be a problem sometimes i think… oh!!! there’s jeonghan too!! we’d definitely either love or hate each other LMAO i’m rlly similar to him when i’m comfortable with someone i think, like his sometimes devilish personality is 100% me with my close friends lmao but what about you?????

and ah yeah… the reposters…. see i get PISSED over reposters i really do despise them SO MUCH!!!!! see from 2011-2013 i had an anime blog and i used to make a lot of edits and gifs there and i always had these two accs that reposted me all the time and i got so pissed bc u couldn’t report for this back then so i just deleted my whole acc (it had over 20k followers lmao) so i still get pissed!!! this one set of mine from my nct blog got reposted and it got almost 2k notes when mine had like 500 (it now has almost 4k but still) and i HATE that lmao like nowadays ppl aren’t even supporting content creators anymore u know, the likes to reblogs ratio is RIDICULOUS. i have this one post from 2011 in my old blog that has 1800 notes and only 100 are likes, but now it’s the exact opposite and it kinda :// i always say that i don’t care about numbers bc i LOVE to read to tags and stuff like that is what matters to me the most, but if people don’t reblog there’s no tags for me to read and that’s what saddens me the most :/ i never rlly cared about notes, but it’s kinda shitty to spend a shit ton of time doing something just for fun and people don’t even appreciate it :/

also the way content creators literally are the ones that keep this plataform up and running and it means NOTHING to have a big following here, like ppl on twt and ig get sponsors for their numbers even if they do NOTHING. i hate twitter so much lmao ppl out there only stealing jokes and posts from tumblr and acting like they’re the shit, then getting 100k followers and sponsors like?? i’m sorry?? also there’s SO MANY artists on twitter that get absolutely no recognition but only those shit ass people that tweet about their foot fetish get followes, same with ig if ur rich and take nice pics of urself traveling then ur famous i HATE

I’M SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH BUT I GET SO ANGRY LMAO

FUCK reposters and fuck tumblr and fuck twitter too

but not fuck you sweetie, sorry pls come back ksdjnakjsd

#but yeah my week has been ok!#tomorrow is my last day of class and i have so many things i wanted to do but i postponed them #and now the school closes on saturday so i have 3 days to use their computers lmao #sss19 #🍰 sss #long post #this is the biggest one so far i rambled so much i'm so sorry #anon #asks

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survivorkomnata · 6 years ago

Text

Episode #4: "and that's what you missed on glee" - Ally

Woo tribe swap! we made the right call booting fed, and now Kato has majority on my new tribe! Ideally i think Alyssa would ve here instead of luke maybe but i dont mind, i think Im good with both him and TJ

I mean, honestly, what's even the point of living in a world where hallways are empty. LIKE, YOU SPEND DAYS CRAFTING A PLAN THAT YOU THINK IS GONNA WORK, BUT THEN BOOOOM, SWAP FUCK. NOW I'M ON A TRIBE WITH 2 PEOPLE I'VE NEVER MET, SOMEONE FROM MY OLD TRIBE I WAS PLANNING TO VOTE OUT NEXT, AND MISS CAN'T READ THE CHALLENGE RULES JESS WHO I'M NOT EVEN SURE IS LOYAL TO ME. SURE WOULD BE NICE TO GET THAT IMMUNITY IDOL!

BUT IT'S COOL. MY PLAN STILL KINDA WORKED! I'M REALLY CLOSE TO THE END, AND THIS IS A NEW TRIBE, MEANING NO ONE CAN POSSIBLY HAVE THE IDOL YET. HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NOPEEE! WITHIN 3 FUCKING HOURS, SOMEONE FOUND THE IDOL, MEANING THERE'S SOMEONE ON THIS TRIBE WHO HAS ALREADY BEEN TO THE END OF THE HALLWAY ON THEIR ORIGINAL TRIBE AND MAY POSSIBLY HAVE 2 IDOLS. AND HOW MANY DO I HAVE? ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOO. What the FUCK. FUCKING BALLS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AND OF COURSE WE BLOW AT THIS CURRENT CHALLENGE I'M FUCKED IT'S ALL FUCKED THINGS WERE GOING SO WELLLL GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. So yeah that's how I'm feeling right about now.

With Federico gone I have to change my strategy, it’s a new game for me, I have two options rn, 1. Stixk with Jake and try to get one person from original Tagaki to flip or 2. Flip on Jake and work with them basically destroying my connections with the original Kato alliance. My position in the game rn is not one to envy tbh lmao so I NEED the immunity. Zach and I connected easily so I think I have the option to work with him there.

After an interesting tribal, it was tribe swap time. I was so nervous until I realized I had a og kato majority on my new tribe. Me, Stephen, and TJ are sticking together which is perfect since I will still have a safety net at tribal if we happen to go, which is a possibility rn since Zach is killing it in the challenge. Hopefully things change as the challenge continues and hopefully I will stop making stupid mistakes in this challenge.

Tribe Swap!!!! So I ended up on New Kato with Zach, Karthik, Miguel, and um Jake. MY CROPS ARE WATERED, MY SKIN IS CLEAR, MY DEPRESSION IS GONE, MY CRUSH CALLED ME BACK. Everything is great bc of the swap results. If we lose then we have a pretty simple majority and vote out in Miguel or Jack although I am getting along with them so far.

The challenge is basically tasks but with puzzles. I REALLUY SUCK AT PUZZLES SO IM SORRY IN ADVANCE. Zach however is freaking killing the game right now. He is carrying our team on his back just like he did on the old tribe and this means 2 things.

1. Zach is someone that is valuable during the premerge portion of this game. Tribes are NOT going to vote him out because he is just too valuable.

2. Zach is someone that I would not like to permanently align with. If Zach makes the merge and keeps this challenge energy going he will win immunity multiple times and only those that are close to him will be able to be targeted.

3. (I KNOW I SAID TWO) He is someone that I SHOULD align with. He makes for a pretty easy meat shield in the event that I become vulnerable. If he does lose an immunity and becomes a target, he makes for an easy idol play. Just place one of those badboys on him and poof you basically get to choose who you want to go home.

I hope we win this challenge and the deamon that is TJ does not come through for his tribe. He's really fucking cute though like did you see that live tribal? ugh my heart gingers are so cute.

I forgot the fucking Australian is good at puzzles and is Australian. Fucking time zone advantage!!! (Plus I suck at puzzles). Its fucking 2 am for me and Im gonna stay up and fight against the Aussie Its gonna be a LONG night.

I'm getting ready to turn Stephen into a "prawn" bc thats what they call shrimp for some reason

OK SO I FORGOT TO SAY THAT JESS AND ALYSSA ARE ON THE SAME TRIBE I HAVEVVVVVEVEVEVEVEV TO LAUGH IM SORRY. Cinematic Gold.

I can’t wait till after merge or swap or whenever so i can vote out Zach and send him a voting confessional he has to solve as a jigsaw puzzle

Alright, so I like my new tribe at the moment. Not only do we have a majority of old Kato members, but I know Ally from a previous game (which I didn’t know earlier). She seems really nice, but I know I need to stop making everyone to be the nicest person on the planet and remember that this is a game. I’m playing to win. I need to immediately figure out if Stephen and Luke are going to vote with me (specifically Luke after last vote) or if I need to start charming Liam so that I’m in with Liam and Ally.

So uh. Fuck Me i guess. My tribe is 100% going to tribal. It could be worse. I could be stuck with Luke and Miguel after the Fed blindside. But still I guess? At least I have Jess. I adore her. I’m just really nervous for this tribal??? I just almost went home so??? How much can I really grind like this is crazy. I feel like I might be able to solidify a majority with me, Jess, and Isaac but then do we vote out Stephen or Daniel? Actually no I already know who we’ll vote out. Jess says she doesn’t like Daniel so if the feeling is mutual she’ll come after her and I’ll be like um hey who was more active in the challenge chat? Daniel or Jess? Yeah, it was Jess. No way.

ANYWAY YEAH. Getting ready for the impending tribal because our tribe literally has -1 points smh

I AM SO IRRITATED UGHHHHH. Ally and I are currently swapfuck victims, and the Takagi idol is GONE. Would've been nice for someone to leave it for us....oh well guess I'm getting 15th/14th bye friends

My tribe was creamed by Kato 2.0 ironically. Once again I’m at tribal council while within a majority alliance. Og Katos have decided to stick together which I’m glad for, it makes the most sense and it keeps me safe and most likely moving forward to f13 and one step closer to merge/jury. I’m getting very close to the farthest point I’ve ever made it in a Survivor ORG, f13, and I want so badly to make it farther and beat my record. I’m taking it step by step and day by day in order to reach this goal and every step of the way I’m showing more of a new side of myself, one that I hope will get me far in the game.

So this tribe is basically under mine and lukes control rn. We are just about to go into an alliance chat with Ally, we already have an alliance, our real alliance, with TJ, the only threat is an idol, but with these connections we should know whats going on. Simple

Tribal discussions have started, and i find myself having control over my tribe along with Stephen. We have alliances with TJ and Ally and I’m feeling great especially since I’m the first tribal I was in I was at the bottom of my tribe and now I have risen to the top, I’m excited to see what happens next as the game continues.

So umm.... Zach found the idol at Takagi so thats amazing. Interesting swap and it doesnt seem to be a bad draw for me since I am in a Takagi majority with zach and Tim both of whom I trust. Its all nice to have some new ppl in Jake and Miguel both seem to be good to talk to. But in terms of the game, it still requires some time to figure out if we would actually be to work together meaningfully due to tribal lines and all. Looks like there is a divide in the original Kato tribe which was apparent from the vote which is good for us. Zach proved to be the hero once again and won the immunity for the tribe all by himself.

So things do seem pretty neat and smooth on my side so far. Its going to be F13 now and I havent still been to tribal council even once which has given me safety but its just getting a bit boring now. It just seems like its the time and opportunity given to me to get my troops ready and be prepared for the war thats about to begin.

So TJ has decided to flip on our alliance and vote Luke out, sigh. It’s annoying how as soon as you think you’re on top someone tries to kick you back down. I still think voting out Liam is the best move though, I can bring TJ back with some choice words. Besides, i heard all this from Ally, who may be laying to save Liam by getting us to vote TJ, though its unlikely based on how she said it.

So when I first saw my new tribe, I was pretty content. I'm glad I wasn't stuck on a tribe with TJ....and from first glance I thought our tribe was pretty strong. Well we totally sucked at the challenge. Now I'm hoping we just vote out RatBoy because he literally doesn't do shit, but people are worried about his potential advantages. I also just vote Jess out of another game, and she made some petty comments I wouldn't be surprised if I go home this tribal just because of that : ) Anyway, I'm gonna try to ensure the others the safest option is RatBoy if we want our team to have any shot of winning a challenge next round.

ONCE AGAIN! It is quiet as shit around camp and I am REALLY fucking anxious. I'm making an official alliance with Jess and Isaac which should keep them both loyal. I really believe Jess wouldn't do that to me. We're sharing idol clues and shit so she has my back at least for now. I don't know how it's going for Isaac in building relationships but supposedly his social game sucks so fingers crossed. The three of us will make majority leading into this vote and we will most likely vote Daniel. Fingers crossed this works out because if my head is on the chopping block again..... I don't know. Obviously I was a top contender to go out on my last tribe so it's like... Would it really be that costly to vote me out here on the half of my tribe? Probably not. But also Jess and I worked our asses off in this challenge even though our puzzle ability is questionable. So I guess we'll see what happens. Hopefully I don't get so hopeless that I make another "Going home" confessional.

youtube

Holy shit. This swap has be shooketh to the CORE. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. It was expected but I still did not prepare for it...

I have Stephen who is literally the biggest wild card for me in this game from my old tribe. I hope I can somehow work with him and build a layer of trust with him so his crazy ass doesn't come after me.

Then there's Daniel. I honestly have some MAJOR TRUST ISSUES with him right now. We are in another game together and I refuse to let that leak into this game but it's totally in the back of my mind. I just don't ever see the two of us working deep into this game but the only reason I have to keep him around is to appeal to Stephen right now. If I take him out in this vote.. I'm going to lose Stephen's trust 1000%. The plan is to keep him around ONE MORE ROUND and then take my shot.

UGH Alyssa. I hate that even in a god damn random draw... I got put with her. BECAUSEEEEE..... this is where my heart tells me one thing and my head tells me another. Our past game has left such a bad taste in my mouth (she beat me at Final 2) and I don't want a repeat of that. HOWEVER, it's way tooo early to take her out even though this TECHNICALLY would be the perfect opportunity to do so. All I have to say to Stephen/Daniel let's do Alyssa and Alyssa would go this round.

Reasons for not voting out Alyssa right now: 1. Strong competitor in comps (so we don't keep losing). Losing = Tribal. Tribal=BAD. 2. She's someone who I KNOW on this tribe. There's a bit of trust there. 3. She's Alyssa.

Then there's Isaac aka: Ratboy. Aka: Ghost. Aka: WHY ARE YOU HERE?! jk. I just can't get a read on him. His strategy seems to be to run into a bomb shelter and hope he doesn't get voted out. He might have an advantage from the basement and to me that's super scary at this point. I want us all on an even playing field and with him possibly having an advantage.. that's SUPER dangerous on a 4 person tribe after this round.

I somehow got put in the middle of two alliances for this vote. On one side there's the original Takagi tribe alliance consisting of: Stephen, Daniel, and myself. Then there's The Tree Amigos consisting of: Isaac, Alyssa, and myself. I think the only way to get out of this vote somehow decently is to vote off Ratboy and say that it was either him or Alyssa and I swayed off of Alyssa to keep her safe. I'm going to have to tell her this about an hour before the vote to calm her tits and to not totally blindside her. If I blindside her she's just going to be more insecure than she apparently is in our relationship here. She's already asked me if I lied about my idol search... so there's that.

HOPEFULLY this goes well for me. This tribe swap wasn't the ideal outcome for me (I was kind of hoping to get swapped with Tim) but I THINK I can make out of this alive somewhat okay?!

omg i love getting swapfucked... such an aesthetic the tribe layout im on rn is 3 from kato (tj luke stephen) and 2 from takagi (me n liam) i feel like i've done a p good job @ bein social with the other tribe,, and stephen suggested an alliance btwn him luke and i so we have that now (called 'international') i rlly wanna try to save liam tho and i think tj might've given me the chance to do thathe messaged me last night and was basically like "i want to flip to takagi and vote out luke" and i was like ok sis! and immediately ratted him out to stephen (and im gonna rat him out to luke too) and i'm hoping that'll be enough to vote tj out. a lil part of me was like "what if this is a SETUP?" and he was gonna immediately run to stephen/luke and tell them im not trustworthy but idk it doesn't seem realistic. but im hoping that we can vote out tj now cuz i want him here the least out of everyone on the tribe hehe. im PISSED about the challenge. zach having a majority on his tribe and still going out of his way to carry his whole ass tribe on his back and drag them to a win and leave me and liam to DIE? NOTED, ZACHARY. if i survive this fkn swap im COMING for you!!!!!!!!!!! JUST WAIT!!!!!!!!!! also some bitch on og takagi got the idol before me so fuck everyone on that tribe.... and that's what you missed on glee

I am in so much freaking fear right now. I know this feeling all too well about tribals with five people. I've been in a 3-2 majority before and been idoled out in exactly the same fashion as I could see happening today. So, right now, I'm playing TJ the Villainous Ginger and trying to plant seeds here and there to hopefully avoid being the person voted out tonight. I'm trying to guarantee the minority votes Luke and the majority sticks together, and then I'm trying to build my relationship with Luke by talking to him about all of the potential situations with this vote and how we could maybe prevent an idol screwing us up. We need original Kato and original Takagi to go back to around the same number of people so that the options at merge become a little more... fun :)

So we won the challenge!!!! I could not be more relieved that we pulled it off and are safe. Zach really is the MVP this time. With the Kato Tribe immune, all 5 of us stay for next round which is great because the individuals on my tribe are all people that I would'nt mind working with. Miguel and Jake especially because they are my window to working with people I have yet to work with when a merge comes. For now I am going to lay low until mid merge (really late early merge) and then strike.

ok so as i predicted, a swap occurred. here are my thoughts: - i'm in a majority (with karthik & tim) - i talk to jake & miguel a lot. i like them both a lot, they're rlly funny. - if i had to send one home (given we go to tribal), i think i lean to jake. he's closer to alyssa/stephen and unless miguel is rlly playing me (which, props to him), he's (jake) more likely to do damage down the road and be against me and all that jazz. but i love them both as people and theyre both enjoyable beings. and for some tea that i gathered (which may very well be wrong/distorted): miguel/luke/stephen/federico/jake had an alliance. stephen & jake flipped. miguel doesn't know jake flipped but he did. this could be baiting me but afaik they're not on the greatest terms (or, well, aren't that close i guess). this shows that alyssa has great sway (not shocking!) and that she's gonna be someone i want out sooner rather than later, and that's kinda why i'd vote jake out over miguel, just to weaken her. alternatively, i could take the route of using her as a shield but ppl are sexist n will just assume im a bigger threat bc im a MAN ... when women > men in gameplay for the most part but ANYWAY! i said it.

also, with the idol system being identical, someone (only options being ratboi & alyssa, which the former will likely leave tonight) may have two which is very scary.

right now i feel comfy. i know in merge i'm finna get fucked up with.... being such a physical (and social) threat early on but bitch i'mma fuckin try my best. i regret telling karthik about my idol. i've contemplated voting him out because then no one will know but i love him too much and he's by far who i'm closest with, i think.

i anticipate the two people leaving will be ratboi (isaac) and liam. the former i'm fine with, but the latter imma be really sad with. liam is great and i love him so much and i feel like he's someone that would be more loyal to me than the average person in this game. but, however the cards fall, so be it.

Stephen just said he's sorry that he left me out of the first vote... this is awesome that he doesn't know that me and Alyssa are the reason that first vote was Shea. I really like Stephen, so this is awesome that he thinks that, it makes it a lot easier for us to work together in the future. Now I really need to make sure I survive this tribal so that I can keep this up. Please Luke, don't flip on me... Also, why did Jess and Alyssa have to be swapped onto the same tribe. I don't want to lose Alyssa to her for a second straight game, lol.

So, scenarios: Me and TJ vote for Ally, Ally and Luke vote for Liam, Liam votes for Luke. We tie, and either Ally or Liam go, but now I have broken Ally’s trust; Me Ally and Luke vote for TJ, Tj and Liam vote for Luke. TJ goes home, which is fine cause he betrayed us, but that may cause problems with other Katos and now Kato doesn’t have majority on our tribe; Me and Luke vote for Liam, TJ votes for Ally, Ally votes for TJ, Liam votes for Luke. A mess, Liam goes home, TJ and Ally both feel betrayed.....this is too much i’m going nuts. At the end of the day i dont want to lose TJ or Lukes trust over Allys trust, so I think voting Ally is the best move??????? God I hate this, remember when Luke convinced me we were on top? That was nice, lets go back to that.

So i realised that by getting tj on board to vote luke, then spilling to me and luke and getting us to vote Tj, ally and liam would have their pick. however, we are communicating pretty well so i think that cancels out her manipulation. However Luke is offline so rip. So now it comes down to if Luke is voting Ally, Liam, or TJ, and is Ally and Liam are voting TJ or Luke. I trust that TJ is voting Ally. Hmmmmm.... If i vote ally and fail I have made a powerful enemy, however if I dont vote Ally and make a mistake I’ve lost TJs trust. I don’t think I have a choice, I could throw my vote away and vote for Liam.... no thats stupid. Its either Tj, and throw my lot in with Ally, or stick with Kato and vote Ally out. Choices, choices.

I’m playing my idol because these people are on crack and I don’t believe a word that’s coming out of any of their mouths.

Daniel is voted out in a 3-1-1 vote, tie ending in a 3-0.

TJ is voted out in a 4-1 vote.

#episode #escapenow

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hellotvv · 7 years ago

Text

Small Realizations

I guess I just wanted to get these thoughts out somewhere to maybe look back one day.

When I become a parent (or if I do), hopefully I learn from some mistakes my parents made. My parents are good people, they genuinely love me, and they definitely provided for me. I can’t truly complain that much, since I know other people had it much worst. But my parents are human and they tbh have made some mistakes with me. OBVIOUSLY I am my own person, and I can always ‘fix’ these mistakes they made, but I feel like how a person is raised has a huge impact on their life lol. It shapes their world around them, what they believe in, what they value, what they like/dislike, and etc. I’m definitely not saying my parents are bad parents, I’m just saying that they’re human. We all make mistakes, have moments of anger, sadness, happiness, etc. Also, it’s genuinely hard raising a kid. Kids are tough, they’re their own person at the end of the day, they might not listen to you, each need to be taught differently, and etc etc etc.

But somethings I promise myself that I would do differently than my parents: I would never hit my kid. Honestly I disliked being hit so much as a kid, and I personally idk would never hit my kid. I’d ground them, scold them, etc all before hitting them. I could see maybe just MAYBE spanking them at a LAST CASE scenario. But I don’t think it should be the first or even second option when it comes to punishment. I personally (I’m not saying spanking is bad/good) just would not do it myself.

I think it’s good to be able to be friends with your kids. You’re more likely to actually know who they are as a person. I have some friends who could tell their parents anything and are good friends with them. Honestly I love my parents, but I can’t say their my friends. It’s just they valued respect (which I understand), being in idk a high superior position (I called them guys once, just as a short way to refer to both of them and I got heavily scolded and yelled at, saying they’re not my friends/etc can’t address them that way), and I’d like it if my kids can genuinely talk to me about their faults/mistakes/problems. I was so scared of failure or telling my problems to my parents, since I KNEW I’d get punished/hit/etc. Like I legit feel bad about this, but if I ever got into trouble at school or struggled, I hated to even tell them. Since they’d criticize me/etc/etc. When all I would like is maybe a gentle conversation where they just go, well we could do x and x to help you fix your problem. Like if I do bad in math, I got scolded, blah blah blah, then eventually I get my tutor to help me succeed. But I wish I was able to just talk to them about my idk problems without getting in trouble. I legit got in trouble for the most ridiculous things that I don’t even wanna write about them.

A huge thing that deserves it’s own paragraph is something I realized as I got older. I’m decently well off, and I came to realize that fk money. I don’t disagree that money can bring happiness, I think it could (at least temporarily). I don’t disagree that money would help someone’s standard of living, possibly have less stress, and etc. But fk, I never want to raise a kid where I make them think money is everything or it’s important to be rich or wealthy. I think my parents did a lot of thing well in raising me (besides uh spoiling me/other stuff I listed above), and this is a big stereotype but I think some white ppl parenting methods are pretty smart. I think it’s important to just let the kid do what they want (in terms of career choices) and just let them be happy with whatever they pick. Since, it’s their life at the end of the day. I am NOT saying that a parent shouldn’t try to inspire kids to dream big or to push them to succeed/have high aspirations. I wanted to be a doctor for the longest time tbh. Even up to 2nd year in college and somewhat 3rd year, I really wanted to be a doctor. But did I really want to be a doctor, since I LOVED to help people? Since I saw myself slaving the next 8 years of my life at school, studying, cram studying till early mornings, possibly making tons of sacrifices, and etc just to become a doctor? Honestly no, but I was stubborn and kind of willing to do it for the $$$. The reason why is, my parents genuinely wanted me to be wealthy (understandable), being a doctor has prestige/they can flex/I can flex, and yeah. I realized far too late that my motives were retarded. I’ve obviously read that someone won’t succeed at becoming a doctor unless they’re truly passionate about it or motivated. I’m genuinely not, and it took me far too long to realize that. I really wouldn’t be happy being a doctor. I talk about career passion and hobby passion, how they can be separate, and etc. But honestly giving up that many years + god knows how many sacrifices (relationships, friendships, sleep, stress, mental/physical health in general, etc) of my life to school/late shifts just for some $$$, I would genuinely question if I really made this 1 life of mine in this world amazing. I guess around this point in my life, I realize that yes, I enjoy money. Would it be nice to have money? Yeah, ofc. But I realized that I could be genuinely happy with less. Hypothetically, if I had only a decent 1 bedroom apartment (like I do rn), have a good relationship with a sweet SO, enough money to go on vacations now and then, treat myself to nice food here, and hang out with friends on the weekend with a stable job. I think I could genuinely be really happy. I don’t think I need a mansion, a huge house, lavish furniture, or whatever the fk I would do with the money. The most I could see myself using a bunch of $$$ is on dumb material things. Yeah, I loved fashion, but honestly I don’t need a wardrobe full of Saint Laurent. I bought my grailed Robert Geller sweater, and I legit wore it once (partially since it was summer) and I was happy for like 2 minutes TOPS after I got it. Idk, I hope I find a SO with a similar view. Being in a social media position where I meet a lot of models nowadays, shot with an actress recently, popular IGers too, and etc. Holy fk, I grew to hate gold diggers, juice diggers, and people who only give a fk about being popular. Yes, it’s nice having followers and etc, but ppl who make it their lives geez... I’m not saying I would hate being wealthy, but I just realize that I don’t need it. My parents still want me to do something in the medical field/etc, but fk man... I kind of just want a stable job that pays alright, and I’ll be really happy. If it’s enough $$ to pay bills, get me my own place, able to afford a cute dog, some spending $$ to hang out with friends on weekends, and occasional vacation on holidays then I’m truly content/happy. Maybe some people aspire more, which is perfectly fine. I would too (after I at least have what I just asked for). But idk I just realized that’s all I really need nowadays. But back to the whole parenting thing. I don’t want to push my kids towards any jobs just for the sake of money. I’d aspire them to dream big ofc, but at the end of the day, I just want them to be happy. I shadowed a doctor last year, and he after making huge sacrifices with his wife for his monetary success, doesn’t even want his kid to be a doctor (unless he for some reason wants to). His kid might major in psych and be clueless about what he wants to do (according to the doctor), but he just wants his son to be happy. Honestly I think that’s what I would want to (maybe not the clueless part). If my kid has good aspirations, doesn’t want to be some degen and not work, is honest/kid, then who the fk cares what career my kid chooses. If he/she wants to become a doctor, cool. If she wants to be an artist, I’d support that. If she wants to be idk an actress, go for it. A teacher? Sure, go for it. Idk, I just know that I would be a lot happier right now, if I didn’t waste so much time wanting/chasing after a career path that I ultimately would not be happy doing.

It’s at least good I realized now before med school or something, since then it might genuinely be too late. I do truly respect doctors after knowing how hard it is to become one. I can’t imagine idk what sacrifices I might have to make in the future to become one. Since while I’m young, I really just want to be able to travel the world, live a life with minimal stress for a while, hang out with friends, spend time with a SO, and etc. If I was in med school/doing residency training/etc, I’m sure you can live a decently balanced life. But it would be hard to find time to vacation, spend time with a SO when studying for INCREDIBLY hard med school exams that determines how good of a job you’ll get as a doctor, spending time with friends/family when studying most of your days away, and so much more.

While I’m still young. I do want to go to concerts and shows with friends. I want to travel to places and enjoy them. I want to be a degen lol for a bit and be as carefree as long as I could. I don’t see myself happy slaving away the next years of my life in school/studying/etc. I could be stubborn, push myself, and etc but at what cost tho? Idk, you really do only live once. I’ve spent honestly my whole life always wanting to be older, thinking it’ll be better. Like omg how cool would hs be, how cool would it be to have a car and drive, going to college, being 21, and etc. I’m finally at a point in my life, where I’m content and don’t necessarily want to get any older haha. I am tired of always chasing a brighter future. If I was in med school, I’d be chasing the future where I’m finally an intern at a hospital, then I’d be chasing finally finishing residency, I’d then chase idk finishing specialized training, then before I know it I’m 30+ years old, and been constantly chasing the future my entire youth. Fk that. This girl I have a date with next week wrote this, “I was so scared not being able to do everything I want in my life that I couldn't be happy about the current achievements I was making. (Like getting yoga certified) I'm taking a break from hobbies and life goals/dreams to train my mind to be content with where I am in the PRESENT. Funny how life goals, as motivating as they are, can make you discontent with who you are. One step at a time” on her recent ig post. I realized that’s so true. I’m so scared of not achieving being a doctor, letting my parents down, not being wealthy, etc etc. I always want to be this amazing perfect dude, no flaws/imperfection, and was never happy with success. Any success I’ve had, Idk if I really took the time to appreciate it THAT much (i obv appreciated to an extent), and I was always focused on these life goals/dreams of mind like being a doctor. I always chased the future, and never just lived in the present. I do want to be a better me, I will always strive to be a better version of me, but all these goals sometimes can make me discontent with who I am. Like fk, I am not insanely ripped/fit, so I’m unhappy with myself. I’m not a successful wealthy boy at just 21, so I’m not happy with myself. I’m not a doctor blah blah, and when I think about how I haven’t achieved certain goals, I’d just feel sad. What’s the point in being sad about what I don’t have? I have goals, but I can’t endlessly chase after them/endlessly chase after the future.

My plans to make the present better and be more present: don’t stress about what might happen ALL the time. If things doesn’t work out, it doesn’t (kind of thinking about uh my upcoming date primarily when writing this). It’s okay if you’re not where you want, as long as you’re at least trying, then it’s okay. Don’t constantly think about the future, just take things one day at a time. You’ll be a lot happier, more productive, and more likely to have a beautiful future too. Just fking live your life Theo. Go work out, go hang out with friends, go to those concerts/clubs, go and spend time on your hobbies (who gives a fk if you’re not good, just do it for fun and for yourself), don’t go wild and not give a fk about responsibilities/school work, but I can’t live my life/plan my career for other ppl, and just do whatever I love. I don’t really believe in reincarnation or anything, so this is my one and only life. Why the fk waste time thinking about the future all the time, stressing about ‘succeeding’, and why not just make sure that I’m happy. If I have family, friends, and wonderful memories, then I think I’d be happy with the time I spent in this world. :)

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