#or actually do point a knife at him
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#that's it that's the post#don't actually point a knife at him though#because he'll either roll his eyes or make a kink joke#or actually do point a knife at him#because he'll either roll his eyes or make a kink joke XD#he wants attention so badly and this is all i have to give him right now#now that's good television (vox)#my merry me (ooc)
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gojo assistant to gojo househusband is EVERYTHING to me heâd be so good at it. packing up bentos before work, visiting u for a lunch break, visiting u for a shoulder and neck massage. hes just so cute. i bet that even when he gets to a househusband role heâd still do some assistant duties and he absolutely is against u getting another assistant bc heâs been that guy and he knows u are too easily fallen in love with. heâd probably only give up that role to someone that he trusts 100% and knows that wonât fall in love with you like yuuta and even then he probs gets a tiny bit irrationally jealous when yuuta knows a lot about your schedule and habits bc thatâs HIS job but a lil smooch from u will have him too flustered to even remember what initially ticked him off
when he finally makes it out of the work husband territory, heâs already wildly insufferable as a boyfriend. but when he finally becomes your husband? all bets are offâif people thought satoru couldnât be louder or prouder of you they were so, so very wrong. he was born for this.Â
sends you off with a bento and a kiss every single morning, and then calls you right before lunch time to remind you to actually take your lunch break and eatâand maybe because he wants compliments on the food he made you. when he canât send you off with lunch, he has yuuta deliver it for you, or he drops it off himself, which is always a welcome surprise, not just for you, but everybody in the office. itâs nice that heâs remembered so fondly, and some days he does miss it, but he wouldnât trade in being your husband for the world.Â
so true about yuuta being his replacementâsatoru was very, very thorough in the vetting process of hiring your new secretary. he knows how easy it is to fall in love you, he knows what itâs like to be the work husband and he refuses to hire anybody else who might think even slightly like him. so, call it nepotism or call it favoritism, but yuuta is one of maybe three people satoru actually trusts with the job. turns out yuuta is best suited for it anyway, which brings satoru even more relief. on the days he really misses you, it makes him pout when you recount all the times yuuta saved your ass, but a kiss or two really is he needs to be brought back to reality.Â
heâs always calling or texting you with paint samples or fabric samples, and youâve learned to not try and make sense of satoruâs interior design priorities. you really donât think that the guest bathroom needs new wallpaper, but he does and if he wants to install it, who are you to stop him. so many days you come home from work and heâs like, âoh, babe, my mom called in a friend of a friend and turns out her husband can make us our own version of that vintage couch you saw in the museum display last week,â which is. absolutely insane because thatâs easily a $25,000 couch, but he just waves you off about it and asks you what color you want it inâheâll handle everything else.Â
#anonymous#oh work husband to househusband satoru my beloved....#give it a year or two of marriage and hes like soooooooo ive been thinking i do actually need someone to keep me company at home#and ur like satoru gojo what are u on about i will kill u right here with my own hands have toji hide the body#and have hiromi get me out of this scott free#and hes like whoah whoah whoah wait i meant a baby!!! AN INFANT!! NOT A MISTRESS oh god im gonna throw up that word alone made me sick babe#and so when u dont have a knife pointed at him ur like oh. wait... u want a baby??#and its then u realize that this isnt spontaneous for him u can see it in his eyes satoru has probably been thinking about this for years#and besides babymaking could be fun............#be prepared to look at about 238 types of wood for the crib tho#jujutsu kaisen x reader#satoru gojo x reader#lawyer au#satoru.ask
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itâs kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isnât inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryuâs-face as possible, she says sheâs already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who wonât just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now
#I think on another level he was sorta saying like âhey kiryu. youâre making it extremely clear that you donât trust me and my intentions#and Iâve been trying to show you- over and over again- that Iâd do just about anything for you and your safety#but I canât just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake#AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior#is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out#of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and#maybe youâll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you.#I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldnât let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it.#Iâve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about#it?â#that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words#I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldnât backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him#and/or pointing out that heâs never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can#trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me#it really makes sense when you think about it that heâd have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways#at that point in time because. I mean. thereâs a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison#and thatâs because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane#mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed#patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright couldâve caused#all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona#(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryuâs advantage#does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head#kazumaji#majima#kiryu#yakuza#kiwami 1#yk1#rambling
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iâm assuming jamie was written out for real-world logistical reasons but i donât think he could or should have come back anyway. when the attack dog goes rabid and gnaws through his own fucking leash there's nothing much anyone can do but stand there and watch. you can train a dog to bite for you but once they've got enough of a taste for blood they're going to stop giving a shit about who they've got between their teeth so long as there's something to tear into. maybe malcolm never had jamie on a leash in the first place. maybe jamie didn't bite because malcolm asked him to. maybe he just liked the taste of blood. malcolm hired a loyal dog and got what he paid for because at the end of the day jamie stayed so loyal that it became the death of him. loyal to the party. not malcolm
#does this make sense ???? grabs you and shakes you DOES THIS MAKE SENSE#it's like. is jamie on a leash really ??? because the closer you look the less it seems that way#he doesn't back down when malcolm tries to step in and de-escalate. he doesn't listen when malcolm asks him to stop#e.g. infamous beloved life-changing julius nicholson EAT THE FUCKING CHEESE scene.#the second it gets physically violent malcolm tries to step in and jamie just fucking bolts out the door after the fucker#not to turn such a deeply unserious scene serious but it is literally like an actual dog attack#like when a dog goes rabid. the owner can stand there and try and talk sense into it but it won't work#even in that one deleted scene from s+l where malcolm's telling jamie to behave and stop fucking everything up#and it DOES seem to work a wee bit. it feels more like jamie's just trying to get malc off his back rather than actually listening#he's only backing down because what he'd been trying clearly wasn't working anymore. not because malcolm asked#and it's like it's more of a betrayal from jamie's point of view right ??#malcolm's the one who ditched the party and backed whoever he needed to in order to maintain his position#but to malcolm it's like. if he's safe then jamie is too. he'll always look out for the both of them#but HE needs to be secure in order for him to do that. jamie's supposed to bite who malcolm asks him to. not just fucking anyone#so they both feel the knife in their back but jamie was trying to do what's right. malcolm was trying to save them both#(this is just my interpretation / opinion. i don't know shit. and i'm not articulate enough to explain it)#ttoi#the thick of it#malcolm tucker#jamie macdonald
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I was thinking up ideas today for the superhero-becomes-slob story but didn't really feel like writing so instead I drew a picture of Jupiter/Justin post-slobbification
#why are superheroes letting go and getting fat so hot?#is it because they're meant to be paragons of perfection#and to fall so low is such a massive transformation#the contrast between their former selves and the slob they now are#I think there's something else too but I can't put my finger on it#I may or may not also have a thing for briefs so the fact superheroes often wear briefs outside their pants is a plus#my art#Notes about the art: Jupiter's costume is coloured like the planet#the logo is the astrological symbol of Jupiter and it's red-orange#while the rest of the outfit is grey-white#His underwear is also orange but perhaps a bit lighter than the logo thing#I realised after making this that I should've given him lightning powers#but I don't think I want him to have lightning-control bc it'd be too deadly#I can't have him kill the villain or there'll be no story#but I named him Jupiter for a very very specific reason and it will appear in the story#Also the face could've been better but I erased it and started again and it was eh but I was like nup that's it I'm done#my pencil sharpener is so bad I had to get a stanley knife to sharpen the point of the pencil#because it just wasn't sharp enough to get the tiny details on the face#Also the hair#do you know how hard it is to find examples of bed hair online that aren't just 'how to style your hair: bedhead style' things#like no I want real actual bed head hair not fake artsy 'bed heads'#I think I imagine him as blonde? Just because it'd look nice with the grey-orange colour scheme#the top of the planet jupiter is sorta yellow#but he can be whatever you want him to be I don't mind#slob#weight gain
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ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.
but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)
LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!
#why do both of my parents need to be so impressively incompetent. i like. cannot find the words for how . i feel about this#like. idc about crimes. go forth. be free. but maybe. just maybe. you should not make your job#âhi today i will post about how i am selling illegally possessed objects on a widely used public forumâ#dont do crimes STUPID. yanno.#in other parent news. its now like. month 6 or so of dad refusing to get his insurance reinstated.#hes been on the same step (taking his paystubs to the dhhr office) for like 3 months?#anyway apparently he found out today/last night that when he was a kid he was diagnosed with gastroparesis !#which is like ! cool! you have a diagnosis AND ive been living with that for 16 years and can help you đ„°#but we were sitting there with mom (this was right before the knife thing) and she was like âwell you gotta get your insurance now so you#can get on the right medsâ and dad was like yeah ill go....#and mom was saying well go in the morning when they open etc etc and he was like i will#and i pointed out that just two weeks ago i told him that too. and he didnt want to. bc hed lose money due to not being able to work#and mom was like well he doesnt work at 8am. and i was like yeah i know but i told him to go at 8am two weeks ago and that was his response#and then he proceeded to claim that this whole time he didnt know they opened at 8am.#folks. he doesnt start working until like...usually 10 or so. WHAT GOVERNMENT OFFICE DOESNT OPEN UNTIL 10.#PLUS. WE LIVE IN A RURAL HOUR. *BUSY* TAKES LIKE AN HOUR. MOST OF THE TIME YOURE IN AND OUT WITHIN 20 MINITES.#ive been fucking considering PAYING HIM to go get it.#and then he claims he didnt know it opened at 8am. when i have told him that. MULTIPLE TIMES.#WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE LIKE THISSSS THEYRE THE MOST IMMATURE ADULTS IVE EVER MET AND THATS IMPRESSIVE!!!#IVE KNOWN PEOPLE WHO PAY THEIR RENT IN COKE OR WHO ARE ESSENTIALLY PROFESSIONAL PARTIERS. AND *THEYRE* MORE RESPONSIBLE AND MATURE THAN MY#PARENTS. SO WHAT GIVES.#also theyre 50 like cmon yall. youre not even 20 or 30. i think you should know how to not like. get your job shut down or die of lack#of medication.#did i tell yall one of the times a few months ago i was nagging dad abt getting his insurance#his response was literally. no exxageration.#he was like oughhh i dont wanna see doctors because then theyll find out somethings wrong with me#and ill have to go on a bunch of medication.#and then he actually for real. said.#âbeing on too many medications killed my grandmaâ#even mom was like cmon man. thats not even true. they misdiagnosed her and put her on WRONG meds. she wasnt even on that many.
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the biggest sin of the Emma episode is the fandom drama I have had to wade through for years. The second biggest sin is that itâs boring.
#they donât even care about Emma. they literally do not care about her.#she is a plot device. she is a cardboard cut-out shaped like a teenager girl with a knife#there is no exploration of her actual thoughts or desires in the episode.#thereâs âshe flinches at pain. she doesnât wanna eat raw meat.â but like :/#the story she feeds dean is a lie. Dean says it himself. she is choosing her words to garner his sympathy#the same way she tries to leverage seeming vulnerable when Sam points his gun at her and cries for dean to stop him#like i really just donât think the episode actually gives a shit about who she is alsjfjlfjk and that means I am. bored.#anyway! unicorn murder episode next <3
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Stiles Stilinski is my favorite/comfort character, which means that I have a deeply desire to ship him with everyone, wish pain and suffering upon himself and an unresolved need to read 'Dead Stiles Stilinski' fics.
I need more angst in my life. I need him to suffer
#but also I need more what if fics with Stiles dying in many situations. like why there's no fic where he's the third virgin sacrifice????#what if stiles died after getting kidnapped by gerwhateverhisname?? like maybe he tried to do something to save Erica and Boyd that got him#killed or just the events took a darker turn than canon#stiles dying in all those instances where a gun has been pointed at his face#THE NOGITSUNE MAN. Stiles getting affected by the bite Scott gave his double and dying because of it??? Stiles actually dying instead of#losing concussions after they got the nogitsune??? Stiles not having a divine move and actually following with the suicide route????#What If the Nogitsune possessed Allison and is Stiles the one who dies when they go rescue Lydia??? That idea is living rent free in my#mind not gonna lie. I could see Stiles spending time with mr Argent trying to understand why he was able to hurt an Oni#Imagine Stiles stealing Chris's gun (the one he used back then) with only a few bullets in it and a silver knife and when the bullets run#off he stabs the last oni and that's when it hits him. is silver.#ANYWAY the idea was that.therr's no enough dead Stiles Stilinski on AO3 !#and I wanr more#teen wolf stiles#teen wolf#stiles stilinski#all I want for Christmas is more angst and rare ship fics with this boy#PETER EITHER FORCING THE BITE ON STILE OR HIM ACCEPTING ONLY FOR IT TO NOT TAKE???? WHERE'S THAT.FIC AT HUH?????#just... the showdown is over peter is dead and derek is the alpha. everything nice and all until stiles... just falls on the ground.#the argents and jackson didn't need to be werewolves to tell that Stiles was hurt and bleeding but no one beside Derek knew why the blood#was turning black. anc Chris but how do you tell a bunch of kids that one of tgem was dying????#ughhhh my heart man. Derek.offering to mercy kill Stiles??? omg Stiles being like 'Dad. I can't die I can't what about dad?' like he would#ve so worried about him!!! because if Claudia dying broke him? then Stiles dying too would kill the sheriff#so much angst potential yet nothing. unbelievable
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filing these under âlines that make xarrai feel extremely normalâ as well.
#this whole conversation is a lot for them. LMAO.#i have actually fully rewritten this one as a dialogue study too bc itâs like. a very important moment for them but#idk man. i wish u could argue with him more in game LOL#this convo makes me and xarrai both batshit insane tho LOL#the inbuilt banite ambition they run from but cannot shake (let him take this power and then take it from him)#vs the love for him they refuse to admit is love (this will ruin him)#they donât WANT this power and they donât want him to have it but they canât shake the part of them that plots out how to get it.#but they have to be better than what made them or none of it was worth it etc etc etc i am rambling. anyway. bye#oc. xarrai#r. hold me like a knife#(for durge!xar they r much more like âidk if this is a good idea but i will maybe help u??â)#(canon!xar is (after they get over their knee jerk reaction of Oooh I Want It) is very directly to his face like âthis is an awful idea.â)#realized these tags r not even about the lines in the screenshots. lol.#the whole âwhat cazador did was only wrong because it happened to *me*â cuts them like a fucking knife tho LOL#itâs such a flagrant rejection of everything xarrai has said to him by this point. and he doesnât even recognize it as one LOL#but xar hears that as âevery bit of genuine emotion youâve shown me and the trust u put in me with ur past meant nothing :) sowwieâ#âit was only bad bc it happened to me and that means itâs not bad when ppl like cazador do things to ppl like u either :)â#and they Know thatâs not what he means. but instead of communicating like an adult they just seethe abt it LOL#okay sorry now iâm done.#lord only knows why i exclusively drop lore in the tags.
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THE MOLE SONG!!!!!!!!! PLEASE ENJOY I AM SO EXCITED TO TALK (ALWAYS AM BUT!!!!!)
HEY I SAVED OFF ON ANSWERING THIS UNTIL I FINISHED THE MOVIE AND IN THE SHORTEST REVIEW POSSIBLE
THAT WAS DEFINITELY A MOVIEâąïž
#snap chats#thicker review down here laLKAJLKJ#i dont have words i just have feelings- taking all my rings off just to type thisLAKJVKL#im not doing this cohesively im just. Stream of Cosciousness#RIGHT SO I DIDNT EXPECT TO SEE REIJI GETTING HIS INTESTINES EATEN OUT HIS ASS TEN MINUTES IN. REALLY SET THE TONE#it reminded me of 1000 Ways to Die though..... i remember loving that show growing up#OH BUT ON THAT NOTE I ACTUALLY REALLY LIKED THOSE LIL CUT AWAYS it was cute. esp at the police academy#where all the extra officers were just lil ( ._. ) mates â ïž#this movie was damn ridiculous bro i loved it- BUT SPEAKING OF FUNNY#PLEAAASSEE PAPILLON'S MORAL COMPASS IS GUIDED BY THE BIT I LOVE THAT LAKVJLAEKJV just like me fr đâ ïžâ ïž#crazy motherfucker putting a gun in his mouth TAKING HIS DICK OUT AT THE CLUB??? he's insane your honor.#FLYING A PLANE WITHOUT A LICENSE 'do you have a license to pilot this <:)' motherfucker said ':))))' â ïžâ ïž#I Repeat he's so committed to the bit everything he got fuckin butterfly themed THE KNIFE'S A BUTTERFLY KNIFE i respect it....#oh but on THAT note i actually really liked how reiji picked up on his type of humor. also gutterfly.... shut up that IS funny đ#reiji in general though was fun to watch. like he's a freak and coward initially but then watching him just go Balls Deep was nutso#taking papillon's word to heart... Commit To The Bit or whatever... he really ate the fuckin cup....#AND THE SCENE WHERE HE HAD SEX WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND reiji...... the fuck going on upstairs... you wanna do some self reflection...#nekozawa crashing into the fuckin. police all đ§ââïžđđâ ïžâ ïž NEKOZAWA IN GENERAL#NO WAIT THE ROBOT LEGS BIT STOP. dramatic-ass sequence just to say I Got Them Overseas :) The End :)#SHUT UP that DID make me laugh idc everything makes me laugh at this point#there's a joke to be made here about tsutsumi never being able to have wings without them breaking but. He Does Get Them Back In This#Metaphorically Speaking. toru went fuckin splat tho SORRY.â ïž#the fuckin dogs. wh. WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY BOUT THE DOGS and here i thought they put drugs /in/ the dogs#cause i know there were cases of drug trafficking that involved putting drugs in dogs but no them bitches just paddlin with em#the charade bit was so silly.... arguing with each other while watching a fight and reiji try to communicate this shit#and then reiji doesnt even have to sneak round anymore cause papillon really said Hey. Drugs Suck. Ok? :) LIKE BASED. COMMON GOAL#IM GONNA RUN OUT OF TAGS I KNOW IT SO LEMME SAY i see there are two more movies.... the third one i only found with jp subs tho...#DEFINITELY WANNA WATCH THE SECOND WHEN I GET TIME BUT I REALLY SHOULD FOCUS ON MY WORK OH NOOO#thank you so much for reccing this movie i swear to god. i'm still recovering. oh my god
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i need to mkae. m y own gacha react video so i cant stop being so sick and evil abut ein because noone gets him right . ramble in tags ok ay byteee
#like he has the worlds worst inferiority superiority complex a man can have#everyone in his life hates him to the point of death. the only positive connection he ever really had was with michael The Actual Devil#he craves violence and power but hes not strong physically enough to get it naturally#he manipulates his way into every relationship and situation he can. he needs to be the center of attention. he needs to have control#the only person's opinion hes ever valued was michael who gave nothing in return. michael openly told other people ein meant nothing to him#and in s6 he tells ein 2 kill aaron when he needs aaron alive all because he needs aarons wolf form and that ein will fail in killing him#in the s6 trailer michael literally says to eins face âthe fact that hes alive is the only reason i havent killed youâ#and ein's response?? âI can still be usefulâ thats his first fucking thought#his father believed him to be a monster because he committed the sin of being a bastard child. zack projected his own insecurities onto ein#- which in turn made those fears come true. it gave michael the perfect opportunity to twist the knife in zacks gut. turn his worst fear -#- into reality.#like even though jessica tried to say that âtheres nothing deeper with einâ because she cant conceptualize the horrors she unleashed#she cant deny the dynamic ein and michael had. one of a mentor and student#with the student doing everything he can to get that gold star. the prize he wanted. michael's validation. but michael would never -#- give that up to ein. he would rather ein die than ever praise him. even in death michael only glances towards eins corpse.#he doesnt say a word because why would he? ein was his little solider. an obedient dog who followed his orders.#a son whose only want was his father's attention.#as you can see my autism is strong with ein.
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*hits you with more Ras Danyal fanart and runsđ*
Donât ask me the context of the RR and Danny one, I saw the pose and wanted to practice drawing duos kfhsh
Haven't forgotten for a second that there's meant to be Flashfam here >:]. I just didn't have a lot of thoughts about him and his interactions with Danny in the au, I've watched s1 and half of s2 of the netflix Flash show and that's about it. I think once Danny kinda 'settles' in Central City (that is, he routinely returns to it the most and stays there for a few weeks at a time messing with the portal gun before going out to get more parts) they have frequent little hangouts/run-ins/what have you. Flash is the first person to learn the mystery boy's 'name' :] and is perhaps the first person Danny officially 'reveals' his powers to (not his ghost form tho, just some of his powers).
(Now, they all knew he was some kind of meta and perhaps knew one or two of his powers or had theories, but Flash is the first person Danny himself actually turns to and goes: 'okay, here is what I can do'. And Flash is both very smug and very touched about it. The kid trusts him!! How can he not??)
("Now can you please tell your little hero friends to get off my back? I appreciate the concern, but I can handle myself. Can tie my own shoelaces and everything.")
Flash asks Danny about his powers (the ones he told him, which I think would probably be invisibility/intangibility/flight because those are have been his most prominently used ones and explains how he's been able to get all over the country faster than he should + his ability to slip away and stuff) and vice versa, Danny asks Flash about his -- he's infinitely curious about how his superspeed works and the stuff he looked up said he can phase through walls? He wants to know the difference between Flash's phasing and his phasing, etc, etc.
I don't know enough about the other speedsters to include Danny interacting with them, unfortunately. Every time Flash spots Danny sitting somewhere in CC while he's running around, he loops back to some food place and grabs something for him to eat, and then drops it off next to him. Otherwise Danny will try and refuse it.
This happens especially if Flash sees him and thinks Danny looks otherwise emaciated/exhausted/or if he's been away from Central City for longer than normal. He has no idea where the kid sleeps, and currently he's not trying to figure it out, it'll break the fragile trust he's built with Danny.
Danny Is An Alternate Version Of Ra's Al Ghul And Flash Already Called Dibs On Adopting Him
Danny In All His Sleep Deprived Slightly Scuffed Up From A Fight Glory Is On His Way To Clockworks Tower To Hopefully Get A Nap And Maybe Some Homework Done When A Natural Portal Opens Up In Front Of Him And Proceeds To Unceremoniously Drop Him In The DC Verse Just Outside Of Central City Before Promptly Closing Leaving A Tired Danny Behind In A Run Down Abandoned Parking Lot.
It's Times Like This When Danny Regrets Putting Off Learning How To Make His Own Portals, Cause Now He Is Very Much Stuck For The Foreseeable Future And He Has No Idea Where Or When He Is. Luckily For Him However Central City Isn't Too Far Away, Unlucky For Him However Is That Once In The City He Realizes This Isn't His Dimension. He's Pretty Sure He'd Remember Something Called The Justice League.
So What Do You Do When Supernatural Bullshit Fails You? You Fall Back On Your Mad Scientist Roots And You Make A Portal Gun. So That's Exactly What Danny Plans To Do.
Unfortunately Staying Alive And Building Questionably Safe Portal Technology Requires Money And Supplies, So He Ends Up Wandering From City To City Doing Odd Jobs/Fixing Up Busted Tech For Cash Or Unwanted Electronics For His "Operation: Get Home" Needs. This Obviously Ends In A Few Superhero Encounter Shenanigans.
Though He Always Ends Up Back Near Central City, Both On The Off Chance The Natural Portal Will Open Up Again And Because Out Of All The Superheroes That Apparently Exist In This Universe The Speedsters Are His Favorite (Red Robin Is Solidly His Second Favorite Ever Since The Gotham Vigilante Gave Him A Large Coffee Filled With Enough Caffeine To Kill A Man).
Unbeknownst To Danny However Is That Every Hero/Vigilante He Has Encountered Has Come To At Least One Of The Following Conclusions; 1. Run Away Meta Who Is In Desperate Need Of A Good Meal/Adoption Bait. 2. Possibly Red Robin/Tim Drake Clone 3. A Good Kid But Could Possibly Be A Future Rouge If Left Unsupervised. 4. Did Bats Get A New Kid And Why Is He Here?
All Flash Knows Is That He Saw The Kid First And Therefore Has Dibs. Suck It Bruce.
Fast-forward A Few Months And Danny Gets Hurt During A Rogue Attack While Trying To Help Some Civilians Get To Safety (Old Hero Habits Die Hard (Ha Die Hard) And All That Jazz) And He Nopes Out Once Everyone Is Safe And When The Paramedics Are Busy With Other People Unaware He Left A Blood Sample Behind.
One DNA Test Brought To You By Paranoid Bat Concerns Of A Possible Red Robin Clone Later And They Find Out That Dannys DNA Matches One Ra's Al Ghul.
They Now Think Danny Is An Escaped Ra's Al Ghul Clone.
Memes For The Vibes:
#dpxdc#ras danyal#also hey no worries about not contributing! I get the feeling lol. Jump in when you want in whatever direction you want :]#i cant stop thinking about ellie in this au lshjaf. im normally pr ambivalent towards parent-child danny and dani but this would be a fun#variant to think about. Specifically because im just thinking about how they both have been calling each other 'danny-dani' in public and#around other people this whole time. and then smth happens where they're in trouble/danger or there's smth happening that requires#danny to focus and get serious. and it ends with them finally publicly calling the other by their real names. and its like the sound gets#sucked out of the room. ESPECIALLY if its Dani calling Danny 'ras'. tim just freezes up and goes 'what'd she just call you?' and danny#doesnt even answer him bc if Dani is calling him Ras then she needs his full attention rn. also you can just seee some of this invisible#tension bleed out of him bc Ras is just as much as his name as it is Danny and while he doesn't prefer one over the other (much) its still#so *nice* to hear his actual name rather than the one he uses in public.#bc yes. Ras. that's his name. He is Ras. You called? What do you need habibi?#anyways one specific scene in mind i have is that smth is happening. the Alghul duo are with a team of heroes planning X and tensions are#thick in the air. everyone is stressed and planning. Things are kinda reaching some kind of boiling point and then like a knife cutting#through the air everyone just hears a nervous tinny *'Raaaas?'*. And half the room just kinda. stops. Danny stops a heated argument with a#hero to immediately whirl on Dani. whose never looked smaller or more ashen nervous. His frustrated expression immediately melts off his#face. and he strides towards her. 'Whats wrong habibi?' he says all gentle-soft big brother.#meanwhile everyone else is silent. RR after a moment finally speaks up âyour name is Ras?â and he sounds more collected than he feels#danny kneels down in front of dani and starts looking her over. barely sparing him a backwards glance as he takes her face in his hands and#says âras al ghul. fenton is my momâs name.â and im running out of time but rr says he thought danny was a clone#danny just goes. still in focus mode: âiâm actually from the dimension the next door over. i ended up here while i was visiting my family+#+in nanda parbat. iâve been trying to get me and talia home.â#anyways idk what your plan for ellie is or even if you want to add her (i normally dont but this is an exception) but thereâs that thought
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â all of me
- gojo satoru x reader
you understand that some things in marriage just needs compromise. and he soon understands too, when you're at your most vulnerable and he fails to be by your side when you need him the most
genre: angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship (you're married & have a son!) argument, feral gojo, mentions of injury & blood, fluff
note: if it isn't obvious by now i'm in the mood of angst-hurt/comfort this week HEHE :)) this is longer than the usual love entry, so i hope you'll enjoy it!
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
Bantering with your husband is not uncommonâin fact, it happens on daily basis.
"Satoruâ I'm talking to you!"
But having serious arguments with him is another matter entirely.
Your fists tightening at your sides, facing his unamused expression. How insufferable is he? You told him that everyday, but right now, he's truly surpassed previous levels of infuriating behavior.
"And I can hear you, sweetheart," he retorted, casting a glance your way. The term of endearment he used for you sounding almost like a sneer to your ears and you felt offended.
"I don't think you're taking this seriously," you griped, trying to calm your emotions, still balling your hands. "Someone is following our son on his way back from schoolâhow can you be this... flippant?!"
Numerous photograph of your son exiting the school building from different angles had arrived in your mailbox, and if it wasn't a creepy warning from those who placed a target on his back, then you didn't know what it was.
Satoru let out an exasperated grunt. "I'm telling you, I'll pick him up for the rest of the week. No one will lay a hand on him."
You gritted your teeth. "And I'm telling you, they're trying to make you do just that. Even morons know not to mess with youâ they're leaving hints, and you're taking the bait!"
Contrary to what you believed, Satoru felt just as worried as you upon knowing that someone might have marked his precious son, who was now six years old and had recently started attending preschool.
But this is where your approaches differ. You are always the cautious one, overanalyzing each detail, while he leans towards being impulsive, often resorting to brute force.
"Who do you think can stand a chance against me?" Satoru challenged with a real sneer this time. "Remember my words, wife, no one is going to hurt me, you or our baby. I'll end them where they stand."
"That's not the point!" you threw your hands in the air, irate. "Satoru, they're going to take advantage ofâ"
"Look, I don't want to argue with you." Satoru's gaze was hard on you, his tone clipped, and it made you stiffen. "His safety comes firstâ and you, of all people, should know I'd never let anything happen to him. You need to quit nitpicking and have a little faith in me."
"I know you are more than capable, but you are notâ!"
And then he said it, and his words piercing through you like a knifeâ
"Don't compare me to you," your husband remarked a little too coldly. "I can do things you can't. Just rest your pretty head, I'll take care of the rest."
Nevermind that he blatantly dismissed your skills as a jujutsu sorcerer, nevermind that he totally didn't listen to you at allâhe just went and made himself look like some sort unparalleled god, forgetting how much his hubris could actually take him.
And all these thoughts only made you angrier.
"So be it then." You tried desperately to hold yourself from shaking because you'd be damned if you showed it to him. "A word of advice, Satoru: beware of your arrogance."
With those words, you spun around, marching off toward your son's room, because no way in hell was you going to sleep with that obnoxious prick tonight.
But when you caught the sight of your baby scuttling away from the gap in the door, a fragment of your heart crumbled. Oh. He has seen it all.
In Gojo Satoru's mind, he is made of two things: a powerful jujutsu sorcerer and a family man.
With his immense strength, comes a certain responsibility. And with that responsibility, certain habits have formed. If you just took a few seconds to breathe and looked back throughout the past decade he'd spent with you, you'd know that in factâ
It was also his way to shield you. Satoru stands by the principle that you and his little boy must be protected at all cost, and he most certainly would pull all stops to do just that.
But frankly, he couldn't deny that he felt insulted by how defiant you were. Did you really think he would let anyone ever touch yourâhisâson? He wouldn't, they'd meet his wrath first and you should've known that.
Still, something akin to guilt nudged at his conscience as he lay alone in your shared bed that night. It felt strange not having you cuddling him. He felt empty.
. . .
None of your shampoo-scented pillow, none of your nightdresses, all of it replaced by a single photo hanging in the wall and the urn of ashesâ
Abruptly, he jerked his eyes open, shaken from the most dreadful nightmare he had experiencedâ
Of you no longer by his side.
âMama.â Your little boy looked up to you with his doe-blue eyes in the next day, his hand gripping yours. âIâll be fine.â
You were accompanying him to the preschool. While Satoru had requested Ichiji to drive him, you insisted on tagging along to keep a watchful eye as well. You'd leave your husband to pick him up later just as he wanted.
âHuh?â you turned to him, tilting your head.
âI'll stick by Uncle Ichiji's side the entire time,â he replied in a murmur. âAnd papa will be picking me up too later. If there are bad guys, they'll get him first.â
You bit your lip, feeling a wave of guilt wash over you. Your boy witnessed your outburst last night and hadn't inquired about it until now, and even then, he was trying to reassure you.
âSo⊠donât fight.â His round, cerulean eyes then darted towards you, blinking hesitantly, causing you to catch your breath.
He looks so much like Satoru. At six years old, he was the spitting image of him, except his personalityâhe took after you in that area. It was as if your son was a softer, more innocent version of him. And your heart twisted, remembering your argument last night.
Don't compare me to you.
With a sigh, you bent down to be eye-level with him and managed a smile, holding both of his little hands. âIâm sorry⊠it was just misunderstanding last night, okay? Donât worry.â
ââŠreally?â
âReally. Mama and papa were just tired,â you tried to reason, a thin smile on your face. "It's going to be okay, just like you said, yeah? Papa will beat the bad guys out there."
âWill he pull through...? If they bring a knife, and he's just there laughing, they can cut him.â
A giggle escaped your lips at your baby's innocent wonderings, easing the ache in your heart as you recalled how Satoru humored him in so many ways.
You gently poked your son in the cheek. "Nah, do you remember what he always goes on about?"
He puffed up his cheeks in response, his expression turning sour as if combing through memories of hundreds of shenanigans Satoru had instigated to recall his words. You let out a hearty chuckle, finding him so adorable.
"He's strong, he's going to win. He always does."
"Oh. Mmm." Your son scrunched up his nose cutely, before looking away and squeezing your hand. A sincerer smile bloomed in your lips, heart melting at the sight of your growing munchkin.
You will protect him. And maybe you could patch things up with Satoru later that night. Maybe yesterday you were just too paranoid.
That was the plan... at least until your son suddenly screamedâsomeone wrenching him from your grasp. Without a second thought, you reacted, flipping the attacker away from you and him.
. . . and that was the beginning of how everything started to unravel so terribly that day.
"Gojo-san...! There's been an incident!"
He got that call right after he finished some things with Yaga. Satoru teleported to the preschool right away, only to be greeted by a scene of utter chaos.
Several teachers stood outside the building, and police officers were present at the scene. It was all a blur of cursed energy until his eyes caught sight ofâ
His little boy, red-faced and obviously in fear, was clinging to Ichiji, who was frantically making calls. Some teachers gathered around him were seemingly trying to coax him to speak.
He didn't waste a second to dash towards him, tearing through the crowd.
"Are you okay? Hey, buddy, what happened?" Satoru pulled him away from Ichiji and turned him over, crouching to his level to check for any signs of injury or harm.
And upon seeing him actually here, his son's eyes immediately welled up with tears, and Satoru felt a chill run through his veins as he broke into sobs, which quickly turned into heart-wrenching wails.
"Mamaâ! F-find mamaâ!" the little boy choked out through his tears, clutching onto his shirt tightly and crumbling in his embrace, thoroughly inconsolable.
Satoru's sharp gaze quickly swept over the scene, seeking any clues, while he tightened his hold over him. It was then he noticed traces of your cursed energy mingled with blood.
They hurt you.
"Hey, kiddoâlisten to me, it's going to be alright, yeah?" Satoru said, gently pulling away to wipe away his tears, holding the boy's face tenderly in his hands. "Go with Ichiji for now, okay? I'm going to bring mama back, I promise."
He didn't need to be told twice. Your son is always obedient when it matters the most. He gave him a small nod, still shaking with tears.
"Don't worry," he flashed a reassuring smile and ruffled his hair. "I'm the strongest, remember? I'll get her back," he vowed once again. "She'll be fine. Wait for me until then, yeah?"
Ichiji was ready to leave as he had called for those in headquarters as backup in case anything were to happen again. Trusting him to keep his son safe, Satoru took off as soon as he could no longer see the sight of his son's tear-streaked face trying to watch him as the car pulled away.
"I won't repeat myselfâ where is my wife?"
Satoru wasn't playing this time. He skipped past taunts and just plain threats. These little fries, he thought.
The man he held by the throat was in a lot of distress. "Hyaaa! It's him! Please, please, let me go! I'm acting under orders!"
He then flung him across the wallâ might have added more cursed energy than necessary.
At the moment, his entire focus was on trying to locate you. He couldn't let his mind wander to anything else; in fact, he didn't permit himself to.
It didn't take him long to piece together the general location of where you were through the residual of your cursed energy. They stationed several hooligans in this abandoned warehouse to stall him, but he got rid of them quickly and he could sense that you were close by.
"It's Gojo Satoru!"
"Run! Ruuuun!"
What a pain. They picked the wrong person to mess with, and Satoru's lips curled into a manic grin as he opened his palm, pulling them inâ
"Cursed Technique Lapse: Blue."
Chaos erupted as the building collapsed around him. He hoped you would realize he was here and manage to avoid getting caught in the wreckage. He was sure you'd know though.
And true to his thoughts, soon he found youâ blasting your attacker away with a powerful kick.
Satoru thought that you were a sight to behold, really. And he was about to call out to you when he felt it.
It happened almost in an instant. The way his heart dropped to his stomach, and how his body reacted, barely whispering the incantation for Red as he shot it at something lurking behind youâ
At that moment, the only thing you were aware of was the foul stench of a curse. Time seemed to stop before the overwhelming force of Red expelled it away from you.
But before then, you experienced a searing, white-hot pain that scorched through your flesh and pierced your abdomenâ
"Y/Nâfuckâ!" The voice that came from Satoru's throat was raw and laden with panic.
He pulled you against him protectively as you collapsed, blinded by pain. He immediately felt warmth spreading across his lower bodyâyour blood was rapidly drenching his shirt, and he felt a shiver down his spine.
You held onto him tightly while suppressing your scream, feeling every bit of your strength drain away along with the dark crimson blood that poured out of you.
"âtoruâ" you managed to croak amidst the scalding pain, curling and whimpering in his hold.
"Heyâ sweetheart, pleaseâ" his voice rang in your ears, as he pressed down on your wound. His hands were shaking, and you clawed at him and groaned in agony. "I-I'm taking you back nowâ You're going to be alright, yeah?"
The wound was beyond anything you had experienced before, causing you to cry out and gasp for air. It was almost as if something fried your insides. It was hard to stay conscious.
"I've got you now. You're going to be okay." His voice was coarse, as he hurriedly carried you out. And he tried not to let the full-blown panic take over him when your body went limp in his arms, your breaths slowing, head lolling in his chest.
"You're going to be alright! You hear me, sweetheart? You're going to make it. Our babyâ he's waiting for you. I promise you, you're going to be fineâ"
Perhaps he was trying to tell that to himself, because despite the excruciating pain, a wave of reassurance washed over you.
You were in the arms of the strongest sorcerer alive, what more could you possibly afraid of?
A special grade curse. They had actually unleashed a potent curse and likely aimed at him as their final cardâuntil it veered off course and struck you, leaving a searing gash across your abdomen.
Satoru felt numb as he sat in the waiting room in his bloodied uniform. You got hurt so terribly right in front of his eyes, and all he could feel was this profound void that seemed to bore through him and pierced his soul.
He was supposed to protect you. He said it to your face that nothing and no one would touch your son, and it was in his wedding vows that he'd protect you with his life too.
And yet what happened?
If only he was faster. If only he was able to pull you to him and protect you with his infinityânone of this shit would have happened.
Seeing your face twisted in agony and smeared with blood made him feel sick to his stomach. Inside that OR, you hovered on the brink of life and death, and he was here, unable to do anything.
Satoru rested his head against the wall, feeling a sharp pain surge through his chest. He remembered waking up to your face every morning, the way your touches felt, and how you had brightened his world for the past decade. If he lost you now... he wouldn't survive it. He would wreck anything, everythingâ
"Papa!" and came his voice of reason. Satoru immediately discarded his bloodstained jacket by instinct, throwing it away before his boy could see it, with Ichiji and Megumi closely trailing behind.
His son crashed himself into him and threw his little arms around his torso, cryingâand in that very second, the thump of his heart sounded louder in his ears. Somehow it felt like a knife that twisted his insides.
"Hey, kiddo." Satoru repositioned him so that he would sit on his lap and hugged him, patting him in the back. "There, there... it's alright, yeah? Mama is inside, she'll get better soon."
Your little boy pulled away and wiped his eyes, and Satoru chuckled as he helped him blow his nose. His child was incredibly adorable, and his actions mirrored yours to such an extent that it made Satoru's heart soften.
"Mama g-got hurt trying to... tell me to g-go..." the boy suddenly said amidst his quieter sniffles. "And... she s-said... papaâ i-is strong and g-going to win..."
You believe in him. Ignoring the ache in his chest, only able to reply him with a "Yeah..."
Not long after, Shoko emerged from the operating room and informed him that the surgery had been successful, though you would likely need to have a one-week stay in the hospital for observation. He intended to move you to the VIP suite and stay the night there, but then he remembered his son, who was holding his hand.
Satoru crouched down and patted him in the head, fixing him a smile. "See? Mama is okay, but she needs to sleep here to get even better. Now you go home first with big brother Megumi, yeah?"
Your son adored Megumi and often begged you to let him stay over at his place, but this time he looked hesitant, fiddling with his little fingers. "Really? Mama will be home... soon?"
"Mm-hmm, the more she sleeps here, the faster she'll go back home, alright?"
And with that, his baby nodded and Satoru turned to Megumi with a nod. "Thank you for this, Megumi."
The boy whose life he had once saved on some sort of a whim, now grown up and shared the same concern he had for you, Fushiguro Megumi had never before witnessed his benefactor expressing such sincere gratitude for anything before.
When you came to, your body felt as heavy as lead.
The discomfort in your abdomen made you flinch, and you almost let out a groan until you turned to your side and saw him.
Satoru was asleep while sitting in the sofa next to your bed, dark circles evident under his eyes. It might have been your imagination, but his cheeks appeared to be slightly red too.
You tried to recall what had happened to you when it came backâyou urging your son to run away as you let yourself being taken away, almost escaping from that warehouse, the flash of excruciating pain, and Satoru's stricken voice.
So he must've been here since last night. Any remnants of your disagreement seemed to have vanished, seeing him there with you, barely covering himself with the blanket, with a frown still marking his forehead even in his sleep.
You wanted to reach out to him until the movement sent a sharp jab to your stomach and you cried out a bit.
In that split second, Satoru's eyes jerked open, and realizing you were awake, his gaze locked onto yours. "Y/Nâ" But your strained whimper and expression told him everything. "Does it hurt? I-I'll get Shoko, waitâ"
And then he hit the call button. Throughout it all, he kept a firm grip on your hand for reassurance. A few minutes later, Shoko arrived and examined your wound, subsequently administering painkillers to alleviate your discomfort.
"It's going to leave a scar," she explained grimly, showing the mangled skin where the curse had made its mark on you, and seeing that, Satoru clenched his fists.
Shoko sighed, empathizing with her friend's frustration. "It's going to fade with time, don't worry. You did well, Gojo. You brought her here quickly. Had you been even slightly later, there could have been an irreversible damage to her organs."
But your husband remained quiet, unable to bring himself to look at you. And after she left, you tried to finally voice your question to him.
"O-ourâ"
"He's fine," Satoru immediately answered, squeezing your hand. "Our boy is fine. I'll tell Megumi to visit laterâhe's with him."
A sigh of relief came out of you. "Thank... goodness."
But his expression seemed to fall even further after hearing your response. Satoru settled himself on the seat next to you and lowered the rail on your bed, allowing you to be even closer to each other.
"Do you not feel any pain anymore?" he asked then, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. He looked so sad, a stark contrast of how he usually was, and it bugged you.
"No... I feel fine now."
"Then, can I hug you?"
Of course you nodded without a second thought, and carefully, he wrapped his arms around your body, pulling you close and resting his face on the crook of your neck.
You knew what it was. Satoru was still visibly shaken by what had happened to you, and he wasn't great at expressing himself, so he tried to find consolation through this physical closeness instead.
"I'm okay..." you patted his back, trying to convince him. "I'm alright now, yeah?" But to your surprise, suddenly his whole body started to shake. "Satoru...?"
ââŠâm sorry.â His voice was barely above a whisper as he nuzzled you. âI shouldn't... have let you get this hurt...â
It always amazes you how Satoru always gets this distressed whenever you sustain any injury. You had seen him cry precisely two times nowâonce after you gave birth to your son and experienced severe bleeding, and now.
"It's not your fault..." you whispered in response. "You... have protected me well."
He held you tighter, his tone faltering. "I didn't."
"You have..." you stroked his hair, trying to convince him. "I'm still here, aren't I?"
Hearing you say that made Satoru's chest ache. The thought of something like this happening to you was unimaginable, and now that it had, he couldn't come to terms with seeing you hurt right in front of him.
"Don'tâ" he choked on his voice, his breath trembled against your neck. "Don't ever put yourself in danger again. If something happened to you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself..."
You couldn't make that promise. Despite the pleading in his voice, you knew deep down that your son's lifeâand hisâmeant more, and given the chance, you would obviously save theirs for yours.
âSatoru... I love you, you know that, right?â
So you simply embraced him close, hoping that in this life, you would live long enough that he would never have to see you like this again.
Epilogue
"Papa, how do I become stronger?"
Satoru blinked when his son asked him that so innocently and curiously, taken aback as he led him to your private room later that afternoon. "Oh? What brought this on?"
His first and only son, a perfect miniature of himself, pursed his lips. "I don't want Mama to get hurt again..."
Satoru's heart warmed at his babyâs sincere words, and despite himself, he chuckled.
"What's funny?" his son leveled a glare at him. "I'm being serious."
"Well, aren't you such a good boy? Don't worry, kiddo, I'll teach you my ways~"
"What ways?"
"Well, no need to rush, pumpkin. First of all, you will have to harness your skills and then you have to be more like meâ"
"Do I have to be like you� Is there no other way?"
"â? What's wrong with being more like me?"
"Everything...?"
#đđđŁđ đđđĄđđđđ #gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#satoru x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk angst#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk gojo#gojo fluff#gojo angst#jjk x you#jjk imagines#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen x you#gojo satoru imagines#gojo x you#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru fluff#satoru gojo fluff#jjk x reader fluff
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I see a lot of posts about how Percy isn't the point of the story in pjo and the story is about the Thalia-Luke-Annabeth narrative and I do agree to a great extent but I do also think it needs to be said the reason why percy is the narrator and not one of them is because he is the cycle-breaker - without him it would have stayed a tragedy but because of him it changed. This is most obvious in how he rejects immortality and instead demands greater support for half-bloods, obviously, but also he trusted annabeth enough to give Luke the knife! he disliked the gods enough to understand Luke even if he didn't agree with his methods and I think that empathy is so so crucial actually! The T-L-A story is built like a mythological tragedy, Percy exists to break the cycle of the story, he's the hero that ends happily.
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god forgive me Iâm thinking about the loser again
#tauba tauba taking my brain out for the night if I switch it off and on again it should be okay#just hear me out#what if just one time for fun as a special treat dc showed Catherine some respect and also maybe just one time please showed poor people#not to be inherently evil and uncaring parents but pawns trapped in a rich manâs game doing the best they could#also give that bitch his knife back but thatâs not the point. the point is his Ama Aba#what if he didnât just ignore the whole point of his upbringing all of his upbringing but actually understood it and combatted it as part o#his little bitch parade what if he was actually effective in at least one area of his life what his mom gave him a cuddle on panel real lif#zh.txt#c:Catherine Todd
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by tradition, the first day of the camp was spent pranking the group next to us. our prank was ziptying the zippers on their sleeping bags together. we figured one of them would sleep with a knife, because we all slept with knives, because we were dangerous maniacs and half the danger of a dangerous maniac is that they tend to think that they are Actually Normal. so. obviously that didn't pan out, and instead they got stuck in their sleeping bags for like half an hour and because their scoutmaster slept in their car and couldn't hear them yelling, they actually only got out when one of them went full caged animal and chewed through the plastic. which meant they had time to make it to the axe throwing station, but they did miss breakfast.
the scale of our victory was impossible to understate. it was an epic prank. unrivaled. the best in years. we knew they were going to retaliate, and we both feared and craved it. maybe i'm still a maniac, but that feels like a common thing, right? do well adjusted people that are not maniacs crave Judgement?
(serious answers only please, from people who would never spoon a knife.)
anyway, the next day we got back to our camp, and the neighors had skipped dinner to just come back and fill all our tents with pinecones. which was like, a decent prank, i guess, but it probably took them an hour to fill all the tents up, and it took us like 15 minutes to tip the tents out, and as a return volley to the ziptie prank it was incredibly underwhelming. we felt a little cheated.
so our scouting group held a council, and we agreed, unanimously, that our prank was 100% better and theirs sucked and that there would be no escalating tensions because we were the clear victors. they'd had their chance to retaliate, and they failed, and so the war was over. that was it.
we agreed on this. we swore. but madness is a relative thing, and in our group of maniacs, we still had J. i have many, many J stories. too many. i biked up to school with him from 4th grade to 8th, and i saw him get hit by cars thrice. he'd just swerve into the road sometimes. one time on a rainy day in 4th grade, a car splashed me, and before i could even consider my response J yelled I GOT THIS and then he blitzed off after the car. i didn't see him the rest of the day. i was so anxious i barely slept that night. i saw him the next morning and he told me that he'd chased the car until it got to a gated community and then he'd climbed over the fence and looked in peoples garages until he found the one with the car, and then he'd ripped the hood ornament off and broke their window. then he gave me a hood ornament to a different brand of car from the one that splashed me and i didnt tell him because i didnt want him missing more school. i want you to mentally adjust your mental model of the things a 9 year old is capable of doing to include chasing a car for five miles, hopping a fence, breaking into a garage, and vandalizing a randos car.
and that's just the tip of my J stories iceberg.
the point of all this is just to say that J was so crazy that he made us knife spooners look like accountanting enthusiasts.
so we agreed the war was done, and we shook on it, and then J, in the name of friendship, in the name of honor, in the name of avenging our pinecone filled tents, snuck over to their camp that evening and fornicated with a watermelon that they'd been saving in their cooler.
i want to emphasize, again, that this was not the consensus of the group. that is not a prank. like i know it seems like we dont know what pranks are because of the whole ziptie thing, but even we knew that fucking someones food is not a prank, it is a crime, and a sin, the kind of weapon that had only been ethically used once in history by Horus in his battle against Set and none of us dumb assholes had owl heads.
so.
the next day went pretty well. we threw some more axes again, which is a valuable and important skill for children to learn i guess, and we learned how to tie knots, which is a skill that turned out to be far sexier than i ever expected, and i learned how to light fires with a magnifying glass, which was great. i'm looking back at this, and i am actually just now beginning to realize that the clear and obvious point of scouting is turning child sociopaths into apex predators.
and then the day ended, and we went back to our camps, except for our leaders, who had a sort of Scout Leader Meeting they were going to have for a few hours at least. it was built into the camp, that day was supposed to be our day to chill as a group, and make peach cobbler, and just be buddies.
except, as it turned out, our neighboring group's alternative to making peach cobbler was eating their watermelon. so at some point they opened their watermelon, and woo boy. oh man. you think catholics hated seedless watermelons? you should see how much mormons hate seeded ones.
so we were chilling by the fire, and then we heard screaming from the camp over, but we didn't pay much mind to that because there are many reasonable explanations for a group of 10ish children to scream simulanteoulsy, such as wasps, which are abundant in arizona, and then the screaming got closer, which did not bother us because there were many reasons for a group 10ish children to scream and run towards us, for example, wasps, which are abundant in arizona, and then we noticed they had large sticks on them, which we figured were perhaps being used to drive away the wasps, which are abundant in arizona, and then they arrived and they started beating the shit out of us, abundantly, in arizona.
so we ran into the woods.
now, at this point, we had no idea what was up. we knew that the camp next to us was out for blood, which was crazy, because we'd actually locked them in fartproof bags for 30 minutes and they'd barely done anything back, and were trying to figure out what could possibly have happened that could drive them to Terrible Violence when we realized that J was cackling like a witch that had learned how to order children off of ebay.
so we politely asked J what the hell he had done, and he politely explained that had "done" their watermelon, and we politely beat him with large sticks because life is nothing but endless cycles of violence.
we were still being chased by the other camp btw. so it was them, chasing us, chasing J, and then they got tired and went back to their camp, and we chased J a little longer because we were mad we'd all been walloped with sticks, and J did not care because he was a supernatural entity whose only weaknesses were Needles and Fire, and then we got tired and went back and J kept running, and we just kind of figured he would come back eventually.
he did not.
we went back to our tents, and we waited, and J did not come back. we stayed up all night, peering into the forest, worrying. our leader came back, and we did our best to hide our battlewounds, and he either genuinely did not notice or simply accepted this as part of Boyhood. then he went to bed, and we waited, and waited, and waited. And Waited. and did not sleep.
eventually, we convened again, and we agreed that if J was not back by after breakfast, we would have to tell the scoutleader about what exactly had transpired. and we really did not want to do that, because it would have meant that everyone would have gotten in a very large amount of trouble.
morning came around, and J still was not back. we went to breakfast, and we ate very, very slowly. we were afraid the other camp was going to continue their war with us, but they actually looked fairly frightened. one of them actually came to us and asked for a truce, and we agreed because we truly felt bad for them. like, yes, they did beat us with sticks, but J fucked their watermelon. we werent complicit in the watermelonfuckening but they didnt know that, and it was definitely the kind of crime that left one outside the bounds of the social contract.
and then when we could eat no more bits, when breakfast was almost done, right when i was getting pushed to go and tell the scoutleader that we needed to find J, he arrived. he was sleep deprived, and noticeably scraped and bloody, and tied to his belt was a blood squirrel tail.
and i asked him, J, where did you get that? and he said, don't worry man, it was already dead, which did not answer by question and gave me several more.
the camp ended that day, and the other groups avoided us like the plague, and it was not until some weeks later that we were able to piece together what happened.
J, in his sojourn through the forest, managed to find (or, possibly, make) a dead squirrel. he then cut off the tail to keep on his belt, because he was a weird little freak like that. he also took the dead squirrel, and he skinned it, then he tied it to a little crucifix made of wood, and he left it in the other scouting group's camp. which is why they were so scared of us.
it was such an unhinged thing to do it actually sobered us up for a while. scouting became a scary thing for us. we'd found something dark and primal there, in the place where no adult could see, and our appreciation of J as a wild ride kind of changed into seeing him as something truly dangerous. we had a sense wherever he went, something terrible would follow, and the only way to escape it was to not be there when it arrived. and so piece by piece, the scout group dissolved. it wasnt until he moved out of that ward that the rest of us started daring to go back to scouts.
and for the final epilogue of the tale:
i have a little brother who was friends with a younger cousin of J's, and the two would go to parties together in highschool. and sometimes J, who was in his early 20's at that point, would show up at the parties, and it was unsettling in such a way that it just became a known risk at parties with the cousin. and at one party, they were playing truth or dare, and J wasn't even in the room, but someone asked him the Truth of how he always knew how to find the cousin, and J said the cousin's mom had mentioned she was worried about him and the parties so he'd put a tracker in his car. and when he saw that the cousin was out of the house on weekends, he'd made a visit by, just to make sure he was safe.
then he left. and every single person at that party went over that poor kid's car. they searched the wheel-wells, checked underneath it, the works, until they found the tracker. then because they were clever, they didnt break it, or throw it away, or anything that would've given away what they'd done. they just gave the tracker to the cousin, who put it in his glovebox. and on schooldays, he'd take it with him, so J could see him in the parking lot. and on weekends, he could leave it in the garage, so he could go to parties with out Hell coming with him. because everyone that met J - every single person - knew that the only way to be safe from him was to be far, far away.
#this is a funny story i promise#but it's also a really fucked up story#about a very fucked up person#scouting#babylon-lore#writing#anecdotes#tw: stalking#tw: blood#tw: bullying#tw: dead animal#tw: violence
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