#or a knife to a fist fight? I mean technically a fist fight but yknow pin is funnier

[stupidgtblog]

brought a knife to a pin fight

[buddyfaith]

I just failed an online quiz for class so I’m gonna do a longwinded character assessment that brittany reblogged for mama debeste to cheer myself up. feel free to challenge me on anything tbh.

1) I sort of like the idea that mama debeste was also a foster kid, but like- she’s 8 or so years removed from her foster siblings? like I don’t think there’s anyone in her age group to hang out with. I think she’s closest to the youngest brother? he’s 7 years older than her or something and usually was the one who was sent to ~babysit~ but actually this little kid is sort of neat. Self-same brother isn’t dead but he’s not. there. I sort of like the idea of military deployment for him. they exchange letters when they can.

2&3) okay so I’m finally gonna make up a healthy marriage and it’s these people. the Fosters (lmao) are a very elderly couple who suffered heavily from Empty Nest Syndrome in like the 70s and have been taking kids in ever since. They are VERY OLD but very kind.

-mama foster is a short woman who likes to garden even though it sometimes fucks with her Arthritis. She’s very plainspoken and knows exactly what the internet is but has some trouble accessing it by herself. Her sense of humor is very deadpan, which doesn’t match her face at all but that makes it much better. mama debeste is a Good Kid who picks tomatoes and collects caterpillars in jars. mama foster has some trouble with younger kids because sarcasm is hard sometimes and her temper is a little short but she loves mama debeste. mama debeste’s favorite part of the usual day-to-day is watching wheel of fortune with her.

-dad foster is a guy who likes to hike. its getting hard for him but he can still go thanks to his kids. they go whenever they can and picnic. mama debeste sometimes gets a little ahead of him to put the collected caterpillars back into the wild. anyway dad foster has like an incredible appreciation for nature and I’m sorely tempted to make him a Bob Ross-esque landscape painter. he’s the kind of dad that gives you candy before dinner and winks. he connects easily to mama debeste because she’s young and likes to get dirty and messes up a picturesque scene just right enough for it to be painted.

when the kids grow up the Fosters have pretty much come to accept that they’ll lose contact with them. mama debeste was determined to not do that and visited regularly but then her own kid died. She went back to see the Fosters for help and they told her that it wasn’t right, not so soon, but losing children is as much a part of life as losing parents, and that she can still come back from it. Mama debeste told them she was leaving for Zheng Fa and they told her to be careful, to be safe, to be smart, and to be kind above all. They were smiling when they said it but there was an air of finality about it, because they knew they had lost her, too.

4) aside from her house burning down with her child inside??

I like to think that her and her brother went wandering around on streets and stuff together and saw some regular stuff yknow. stray animals helping each other, hurting each other, people doing about the same.

Once her brother punched a guy in the face on the subway for spitting at someone and that sort of justified retaliation always stuck with her.

5) mama debeste carries around a swiss army knife like a girl scout, a shitty plastic cigarette lighter, a keychain that was probably a gift that has her house keys on it, two or three pieces of nicotine gum, an instant camera, and her wallet (which in turn contains her driver’s license, Interpol id, library card, two credit cards in Blaise’s name, several pictures of the kiddos, and about $400 in nonconsecutive twenties)

6) mama debeste dreams of her kid. like. what they (he, I’m vaguely leaning towards) would be like growing up and stuff. she also dreams of Zheng Fa and the forest.

7) mama debeste killing people maybe unnecessarily is kind of my jam and they don’t haunt her per se but sometimes she trips over their bodies literally. sometimes she imagines shooting herself because what the hell, she’s a bad person. anyway mama debeste also hates funerals so probably those too and [fire noises].

Silence, notably, too. If you’ve got kids there should never be silence. if you’re anywhere natural there should never be perfect silence.

8) hi welcome to Interpol here’s a paper target except we didn’t tell you there was a watermelon behind the head so that the red explosion would disturb you into perhaps not firing sometimes.

(it failed.)

9) the Fosters are actually fairly well off despite having So Many Kids with expensive extracurriculars and stuff? because they had like, regular people expenditures, it was a little bit more of a natural life. Blaise’s blood money is far less wholesome which is one reason mama debeste goes to such great lengths to get rid of it fast and frivolously. She burns the money in an attempt to warm the home.

10) mama debeste is a sundress lady or a biker leather lady with no inbetween. The former is an expression of serenity and safety. I think the latter gives her more confidence, like the Interpol days.

11) she couldn’t get back into her fucking burning house. the second time she felt so scared was when she realized phoenix was in the second house doomed to fall.

(there were little bits, in the middle, where she lost phoenix in a crowd or sebastian swallowed something he shouldn’t have.)

12) lmao marrying blaise debeste actually. she’s shot people with less conviction, less assurance than she had standing on the altar.

on a calm of a different note, the forest is her friend and the first time she saw phoenix try to paint a tree was great.

13) HAHAHAHAHA next question. (idk if mama debeste: forensics expert is exactly canon but she’s definitely less sensitive to blood than she should be)

14) mama debeste will never forget a face as long as she lives.

15) mama debeste is concerned with the concept of Doing and will blow through all of blaise’s blood money so that her kids can like, have experiences and stuff, but her preoccupation is more spending and acquisition than frugality or anything.

16) let mama debeste be happy 2kwhatever. she knows she probably never will be so she tries to make others happy.

17) her brother made mama debeste a teddy bear out of felt and button eyes and pillow stuffing. he told her later it was because he was really attached to the one he was supposed to Hand Me Down to her but that’s only half-truth. Its name is Growls.

18) probably wisdom considering “ambition” burned her crops and poisoned the kid’s groundwater honestly? blaise seems like the kind to both hide behind and weaponize that word.

19) mama debeste doesn’t say anything. like she’s the ultimate in something is bothering her but she sticks to the gentle smile persona and lets wounds fester until its way too late. this trait is kicked up to eleven with blaise and the kids, which is part of the reason that phoenix has such a sunny memory of her.

20) I don’t think she does compare herself to anyone except for Greg and Desiree Delite. The former is for validation in her parenting style. the latter is when she’s really loathing herself and thinking about what she could do if she would just fucking leave blaise and this petty revenge shit behind and take the kids somewhere–

21) I mean technically the only bad thing that really happens to mama debeste that’s her fault is that she fucking dies and she knows it. she takes sole responsibility for that.

she splits responsibility with people she killed because tbh most of them sort of. deserved it.

she blames blaise for almost one hundred percent for everything else.

22) mama debeste appreciates honesty and kindness. she likes thoughtfulness and dedication to a hobby. she also likes good parents.

23) mama debeste will fight the westboro baptist church. she will also fight anything that reminds her of herself before she loved the kids. and also blaise debeste and everything related to him.

24) mama debeste trusts no one except for maybe people that phoenix trusts. She genuinely likes Greg and lets phoenix sleep over there even though she’s only met him a handful of times.

25) hahahaha mama debeste is the ultimate in seeing through people. she’s super suspicious of strangers and people she doesn’t know getting close to the house. acquaintances are graded based on how much they hate blaise (maximum hate being minimum suspicion). the only people close to mama debeste are phoenix and sebastian.

she worries about what might happen to phoenix and sebastian.

26) I’M CALLING HER MAMA DEBESTE FOR A REASON because at the end of her life she’s really really devoted to the safety of her kids. For the long childless period in the middle she believed that kids could be tools for revenge, but she never really lost the mothering touch, as it were. Shi-Long Lang remembers her very very fondly.

27) have you ever played a really long game of clue with someone and they figure out the answer but instead of running to the pool and announcing it they walk into the foyer and shoot the murderer in the face? yeah. the last logic battle with the ~true antagonist~ of aai2 wouldn’t have even happened because she would have shot him on sight.

her conflict with blaise is too personal for that though so they have a marriage of hate and she’s biding her time. I think that once her USE THE CHILDREN plan broke down she lost sight of whatever her goal was which ultimately ended up killing her.

28) mama debeste is a fan of the fists and an even greater fan of shooting things but she does her absolute best to remain passive and unassuming for as long as she possibly can.

29) I think mama debeste wanted to help people? she definitely had like, a brain surgeon phase, but once that passed I think she settled fairly well on public service through Interpol. there was probably a speaker that came to school or something tbh.

30) mama debeste won’t eat mushrooms and passes this trait onto her kids. she hates socks and sandals. wash ya damn hands. blaise debeste. she also isn’t a particular fan of praying mantises specifically.

31) welcome to the forest. three people are there, herself included. One of them is drawing, the other is fumbling around in the picnic basket looking for an orange. it is later in the day, but evening isn’t in the sky yet. The breeze is gentle and smells like pine.