#or I've gone so far i pull a trigger before I can even Conceive the trauma I'll cause.
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I. Am so. Fucking. Conflicted.
#dk speaks#vent#im so full of fucking rage#this pure boiling fucking anger#with Nothing to direct it to.#me? been there done that got the Junkie Ass Carving#her? she doesnt fucking deserve it. if i just had basic self con-fucking-trol we wouldn't even be In this mess in the first place#i am a god damn timebomb and i have No clue when or who I'll explode on.#at least when im high or drunk or on Anything that rage subsides.#no anger. no ticking. just pleasantries and sociability and joy and calm.#but when im sober? god forbid if i am Forced to be sober?#pft. i can't wait to see the God damn fireworks#because hopefully then it'll mean I've hurt everyone who could Ever care for me#or I've gone so far i pull a trigger before I can even Conceive the trauma I'll cause.#either way. i hurt.#if i get high the way i like to. i hurt.#if i stay sober for too long and get back to my regularly scheduled Thoughts. I Hurt.#there's pain either way.#fact of the matter is who am i gonna force to get it.#me.#or all.#let's find the fuck out.
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