#or ''i binged 10 episodes in a day and i didn't know it was possible to laugh that much in 24 hours''

[rythyme]

is dndads like dads inside the roleplay dungeons and dragons game?

yeah! dungeons and daddies is a dnd podcast (not a bdsm podcast) about four dads from our world flung into a land of high fantasy and magic in a quest to rescue their lost sons. it's the funniest piece of media i've ever consumed — i highly recommend it!

[delulu-with-wandanat]

Mockingbird

Reader Description: He/him, adult, early 30s.

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Male!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, angst?

(Now now, i know i put out a poll. BUT i started writing this and... oh well enjoy :> I promise the next one will be a lighthearted Wandanat HS au eeekkk!!!!!)

Summary: America Chavez gave Wanda what she wanted, Wanda sees the love of her life again from another universe. However, her lover's variant already build a life without her...

Y/n sits on the sofa with a huff and turned on the TV to watch whatever was available on Netflix, "What a day..." he said to himself. He loved his new job, but of course like any other person he just needed some time alone.

He scrolled to the various crappy movies and series that he hadn't watch. Deciding that he just wanted something light, he put on a sitcom that he watched many times with his late wife a few years ago. It felt weird not watching it with her even until now, but he remembered how much his wife loved re-watching the sitcom over and over to the point where she could recite every single episode by heart.

Y/n smiled at the memory, when the two used to binge watch Brooklyn 99 at the common room of the compound. Wanda even got to the point where she hosted a 'Halloween Heist', but it ultimately stopped after two heist when Natasha won in less than 10 minutes, yes both heist. Honestly they should've known better than to have those kind of heist games with a well renowned international spy.

At least they still have a few rounds of 'Jimmy Jabs' games.

Except they dialed the extremeness to a 10 considering they were the Avengers. We don't have to get into details, but due to the techs that they have and the powers they own, things get very interesting quite quickly.

Well almost everything in his life was interesting, I mean he's surrounded by gods, witches, spies. Not a single day in his life was ordinary...

Including today, when a portal in the shape of a star appeared out of nowhere right in front of him. The portal it self did not shock him in the slightest. What did shock him though was the fact that the love of his life, his wife, his soulmate who died years ago, was now standing right in front of him in the flesh.

Y/n was speechless. Ever more so, the fact that Wanda was choking what it looks like no more than 14 year old girl. "Wanda, what are you doing?!"

"Y/n..." Wanda breathed out, her grip on the girl loosen. The 14 year old girl then fell to the gasping for air. "I- I didn't..."

Y/n stood up from the couch, he couldn't move. His dead wife was alive right before his eyes, either she had rise from the dead or... well, there was only one other possibility.

She was from another universe.

No doubt in his mind that she was. In Y/n's universe, they knew the existence of the multiverse. "I just wanted to see you again." Wanda said with teary eyes.

Being a former SHIELD agent, he was quick to piece the puzzle together. This Wanda must be from a Universe where he had died. He tried to stay calm for her, even though inside, seeing Wanda again brought back so many memories. Happy ones, but most notably the painful one.

Particularly, a memory of the day he lost her.

Wanda noticed that Y/n had been silent the whole time, she hung her head in shame. "I'm a monster..."

Y/n's heart broke at her words. "No... Lyubov, don't say that." He approached her slowly and gently lifted her chin so her eyes meets his.

Gazing into the eyes of the woman he loves that died years ago was something that would never have crossed his mind. It took every, by that I mean EVERYTHING in his power to not breakdown right in front of her.

Little did he know Wanda felt the same, however the difference was her wound was still fresh. Staring into his beautiful eyes again, it broke her. Wanda broke down and pulled him into a hug, taking in everything she could.

His scent, his warmth, his comfort.

She cried on to his shoulders, and Y/n simply held her. It felt good, really good. To be in his arms again. To have Y/n hold her like he used too.

“I miss you, so much." She told him between sobs.

"I miss you too." Y/n responded. Wanda pulled back and rested her forehead against his with her eyes closed. The two stayed like that for a little while, yet the question still lingers in Y/n's mind. Why was Wanda choking an innocent little girl?

It seems like his mind is louder than he thought as Wanda answered the question. "I... When you died, I couldn't- I couldn't move on." She told him hesitantly as she opened her eyes. Fear and guilt painted over her face as she thought of the potential reactions she would get from Y/n.

He glanced at the 14 year old girl behind her, Wanda noticed the way his eyes shifted. She felt the need to explain herself, he deserved to know the truth. To know the extent she went just to be with her lover again.

"I... I chased down, America Chavez. She was the key..." He shifted his eyes back to hers. Key?? "I tried to-" The words got stuck in her throat. "I tried to kill her..." She cried, hanging her head in shame. Y/n's eyes widen at her words.

Wanda... a killer? How bad was her universe treating her to the point where she goes to that extent??

An embrace, was the last thing Wanda had expected to receive from him. She expected a look of disappointment, shame, anger, yet all he did was simply pulled her into a hug.

"I understand."

That was when Wanda started crying against his chest. He was taller, so he kissed the top of her head lovingly. With her ears pressed against his chest, she could listen to his heartbeat. It was the calmest sound she hasn't heard in a while.

"I... I lost you, In my universe. I understand how you feel." Y/n remembered the day Wanda sacrificed herself for the soul stone. After the battle he begged, begged the Avengers to use the stones to bring her back. To have her in his arms again. To hold her...

Wanda felt his emotions. Anger, sadness, grief, Wanda felt it all as memory of her own death came back flooding his mind like a tidal wave. She held him tighter, knowing that he needed this just as much as she does. After a long while, they pulled back resting their foreheads against each other. Both with tears streaming down their eyes.

Wanda cupped his face, she felt Y/n leaning to her touch. When they gazed into each other once again, Wanda, without a second thought, pulled him down for a kiss.

Y/n reciprocated just as quick. Wanting to feel her soft lips after 4 long years. He missed it. Her soft touches, the taste of her lips, her beautiful voice. He missed her so dearly.

Wanda wrapped her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. Holding onto his figure almost desperately. They held onto each other as they poured all the love they couldn't express with words through their actions.

After a long while, Wanda broke the kiss. "Let's not leave each other again."

Y/n clenched his jaw, he moved his hand from her waist to her face, caressing it. "I want that, more than anything..."

Wanda smiled, a genuine smile that she haven't had for the longest time. Yet... she noticed a hint of hesitation on Y/n's part. "What is it, love?"

He had to tell her, but he didn't know how. Y/n could tell she was broken, broken beyond repair that she goes to this extent. He doesn't know how to break the news to her. "Wands... I want you back, more than anything."

Slowly her smile fades. God he wishes he could bring it back.

"But... you can't stay here..."

That shattered Wanda's heart, "W-why?" Did he not love her just as much? He was a variant of her lover yes, but surely they would share the same love. Did he find someone else?? "What makes you say that?" She asked, from the tone of her voice Y/n could tell his words broke her heart.

"You can't... stay in my universe. And I can't- I can't stay in yours."

"W-why?"

"It would cause an incursion. It will destroy my universe and maybe even yours. I can't let that happen, Wands. I'm sorry." He told her gently while caressing her cheeks.

Her eyes started to pool again as she leaned to his touch. "Why... Why does it have to be like this- Why is the universe to cruel..."

Y/n wanted so badly to erase her sadness, her grief, to see her beautiful smile again. "If I was as powerful as you, I would've ventured across the multiverse for you. But, I'm just a human. The only thing I could do was... move on."

Move on

The word echoes in her head. Y/n had moved on. She looked at him in disbelief. "Move on?" Wanda breathed out.

Y/n clenched his jaw again, "Move on isn't the right word. You will always have a special place in my heart, but... I couldn't stay like that forever. I'm sorry, Wanda." He remembered the countless times he almost took his life, just to be with her again.

Wanda was... angry? Sad, heartbroken, deep down she understood. If she had died, she would've wanted him to live on. The same way her Y/n told her too. Yet part of her was still corrupted. How can he move on so quickly when she would destroy everything just to be with him again?

Anger was boiling inside her, before she could ask any further, they heard a little girl's voice. "Daddy?" Wanda was shocked to her core. Y/n... has a daughter.

Y/n quickly wiped his tears and turned around to face the 4 year old girl. "Heyy pumpkin." The little girl ran over to her father as he bent down to pick her up. "What are you doing up this late huh?" He asked her.

"Bad dream..." The little girl said while rubbing her eyes, yet it was clear she was still sleepy. Y/n turn to face Wanda with a gentle smile as he held his daughter.

Wanda was speechless, the sight... warmed her shattered heart. She was happy for him, but devastated that he had built a life... without her. The thought of Y/n having a kid, a family with someone else felt like a stab in her heart.

"Who's that?" The little girl asked, pointing at Wanda who was standing a few centimeters away from them with her hand on her chest. Trying so hard not to burst into tears.

Shit... how should he say this. "Honey, this is..." He wanted his daughter to know. But, she was too young. "...a very dear friend of mine. She has magical powers and came to visit me."

'Dear friend', so Wanda truly is out of his life.

The little girl waved at Wanda. "Hello!"

"Hi..." Wanda whispered. She wanted to hold the little girl. Wanda felt some sort of connection with her that she couldn't quite pin. It seems like the little girl felt the same as she leaned towards Wanda with grabby hands. Y/n took a few steps closer to Wanda, slowly.

"I think she wants to be held by you." Y/n said, looking at his daughter lovingly.

"May I?" Wanda asked, glancing at him. He nodded and gently moved his daughter onto Wanda's arms. The first thing the little girl did was reach up to touch her crown while giggling. “Oh-“

The action caused Wanda to laugh a little too. His daughter is beautiful. She definitely has her father’s hair. But her facial features probably leaned more towards her mother, whoever it is. Probably someone she knew as the little girl looked so... familiar.

“Magic?” The little girl asked.

Wanda smiled gently as she hovered her hand in front of the little girl. She projected a tiny rabbit that hopped around her hand, causing the little girl to giggle while clapping her hand. The bunny hopped around the little girl as well before disappearing into a red mist.

Unbeknownst to Wanda, Y/n doing everything in his powers not to break down at the sight before him. “Are you friends with my mama?

Wanda didn’t know how to answer that. “Um…”

“My daddy says my mama has magic powers, like you!” The little girl explained.

“Has your Mama talked about me?” Wanda asked, trying to keep her voice steady. The only other person who she know was a witch is Agatha.

"No..." The little girl said sadly. "Dad says she's somewhere up there." She pointed at the ceiling, Wanda understood what she meant. "He said we'll visit her one day!"

"Oh... I see." Well, what was she supposed to say. The little girl then played with her crown again, and Wanda lets her. Loving smile plastered on her face. It seems like the little girl was studying her face as well??

"You look a little bit like her?" Y/n's daughter blurted out. Could it be? No it can't be. "My mama had brown hair though, yours is red."

Deciding she didn't want to get her hopes up, she asked the girl a question. Hoping to steer the subject. "What's your name?"

"Wanda." The little girl answered, she was too pre occupied with Wanda's crown to notice the shift in Wanda's expression. "My daddy says my mama has the same name too." The little girl added.

Oh... It all makes sense now. The connection she felt toward the little girl.

Wanda finally glanced at Y/n who had a sorrow look plastered across his face. That was when she finally noticed the difference, this Y/n indeed looked much much older than the one from her universe. Her heart stammering in her chest. This wasn't just Y/n's daughter... It's their's.

Y/n approached the two of them, they didn't know how long time had passed. Probably a while, as little Wanda had decided to nestle on the crook of her mother's neck with her eyes closed. Wanda searched Y/n's eyes for explanation.

"You-" He corrected himself, "Her mother, had complications with pregnancy." He explained while tucking a hair behind his daughter's ear, watching her sleeping form with a small smile. "So, Tony made us an artificial womb to carry this little devil."

Wanda looked at his- her daughter's sleeping form. It felt surreal.

"But uh..." His voice cracked slightly, "Wanda and I got sent on a mission, to bring everyone back from the snap. We won... but I lost her." It was clear that the memory brought so much pain to him. "Not long after that this little bug was born. Wanda... never got to meet her. So I named her after her mother."

No wonder the girl looked familiar, she had took on most of Wanda's facial feature. Her nose, her face structure, but most notably her eyes. She looked exactly like how she was when she was younger.

"I would never forget you, Wanda." He whispered so only she could hear. Wanda glanced at Y/n who had tears in his eyes.

Wanda was at lost for words, the only thing she could came up with was. "She has your hair."

Y/n chuckles, "Yeah... that's kind of the only thing she got from me." He had a longing look as he stared at little Wanda holding onto her mother. A sight he wished he could've seen with his Wanda, but she was taken away from him before she could ever meet her own daughter. "I was lost for days, but then when she was born I-" He stopped himself, trying to find the right words. "I had to be strong, for her sake."

Y/n slowly wrap his arms around the two of them, the sight of the family was perfect. America, who had been watching their whole conversation was touched by the image. To see the contrast of how Wanda used her powers in front of her daughter. How tender she was, the power that caused so much chaos to be used in such a gentle way. It reminds her a little bit of her own mothers.

"If she wasn't here I-" Y/n's words got stuck in his throat, "I think I would've..." Yet Wanda knew what he meant, her heart shattered for him.

"Y/n..." Wanda closed the distance and rested their foreheads once more with their daughter sleeping soundly on her shoulder.

They stayed there for a few minutes, just enjoying the warmth from each other. Wanting so badly to be the perfect family that they could've been if the universe wasn't so cruel. Another thought creeped into his mind, how was he supposed to explain this to their daughter when she remembers?

Surely it was probably because of sleepiness that she couldn't properly remember her mother's face. But she has seen multiple pictures of her mother, how was he supposed to explain that this Wanda was a variant.

His thoughts was so loud that Wanda could hear it clearly. "It's ok." She said, giving him a reassuring smile. Wanda raised her hand slowly, little red mist emitting from the tip of her fingers. She tapped their daughter's temple ever so gently. Causing little Wanda to nestle further into her neck with a faint smile.

"Rest your head and go to sleep, little one. When you wake up, this will all just be a dream." Wanda whispered.

ᗢ

"Hey, pumpkin. Time to wake up." Wanda Y/l/n, slowly opened her eyes. She yawned and stretched her arms. Her father was smiling softly at her, she sat up on her bed and rubbed her eyes.

"I had a dream..." The little girl told her father. Unknown to her, Y/n tensed slightly.

"Was was it about?" He asked.

"Mama came to visit us instead." The little girl didn't understand why, but she felt extremely sad as she started to cry. Y/n was quick to pull her into a hug.

"Shhh... It's ok little one, don't you cry." He held his daughter as she cried in his arms. "Everything's gonna be alright."

"Why couldn't she stay?"

He thinks for a second before answering, "I know mommy's not here right now, but I promise she's gonna be alright."

And if you ask me to, daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird. Imma give you the world. Imma buy a diamond ring for you, Imma sing for you, I'd do anything for you To see you smile

[messier51]

"have you seen this tv show" i was born in the 80s. we did not just Watch Entire Shows back in the day, they were just On TV sometimes. please be more explicit in your polls

do you mean - have you seen at least one episode? - have you seen a few episodes? maybe randomly. maybe not full episodes because you were flipping thru channels and missed the first 10 minutes or didn't change back fast enough after an ad break - have you seen enough episodes to know what's going on with the show but maybe not all consecutive or in order (did you watch a marathon on tnt? did you catch episodes whenever it was on but didn't go back and binge watch the rest?) - have you seen at least one full season in entirety (you binge watched it on a streaming service/own the season ie on dvd) - have you watched most of the show in its entirety but rage quit or got distracted before the final season(s)? - have you watched the entire show episode 1 thru the finale all seasons (streaming service/own the show on ie dvd) - so many other possibilities???? - also did i have to be paying enough attention to write a response essay or can it just be On while I was doing other stuff and I sorta know what happened what even counts as "watching" a show anyway

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

This was the hardest monthly wrap up I ever had to do because I forgot about it until like two days ago and my brain is not at its best and I'm tired so I can't really write a lot. So anyway as usual, spoilers and opinions below, read at your own risk.

QL - Currently Watching

🇹🇼 Blue Canvas of Youthful Days [2/12] - I really like the look of this show and all the art. I'm not yet sold on the main couple as a possible item but I really like the characters individually. I adore the second couple. The scene with the hearing aid was beautiful and I like the fact that it's not about the couple. Perhaps in a bl from a different country this would be about them finally being able to communicate, but because Liu knows sign language, it's simply about helping Tan Yin. Don't know why but I really liked this.

🇰🇷🇹🇭 Eccentric Romance [8/12] - It's not the worst thing ever but at several points during the episodes I find myself asking, what am I watching?

🇹🇭 Every You, Every Me [4/8] - This show constantly surprises me. The different stories every week and the aspec rep was how they got me at first but now I'm invested in the meta and the absolutely adorable mains. And this show is just so gorgeous to watch.

🇹🇭 Fourever You [5/16] - Beautiful Pond. Cute Earth. I'm annoyed. Hopefully the next couple is better in terms of storyline.

🇹🇭 Jack & Joker [8/12] - Can they just get together first and then give me all the drama? I'm okay with that. I actually liked Love Mechanics, so give it to me. But Jack is all over the place with his behaviour, he says Joke is family and they seem to have a shared view of the future, and they sure behave as if they're a couple, but then he hides things from Joke, supposedly 'for his own good'. I feel for Joke, because he's being jerked around by Jack.

🇹🇭 Kidnap [8/12] - I love Ohm. And that is the one and only reason I'm still here.

🇰🇷 Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo [6/8] - I'm obsessed. I think about this show way too much. It's painful and beautiful, brilliant writing and visuals and I need it to be over but I don't want it to end. I think we're gonna have a second time skip since they are not in our present yet and I just want to see them happy.

🇰🇷 Love in the Big City [4/8] - Obsessed in a total different way. This story is like an open tab in my brain at all times. I'm dreaming of edits and gifsets. I think of Young and my chest tightens. I'm having a hard time writing about the second part of the show because it's just so much, although it feels lighter than the novel. I'm dreading the next part.

🇯🇵 Love is a Poison [7/10] - I love it here. Everything about it. This being Shiba's first love sure explains a lot, and the onsen date was amazing. I think the actors are nailing this.

🇹🇭 Peaceful Property [10/12] - I've said enough about it. I'm here for TayNew and trying to just ignore everything else.

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners [1/24] - And so it begins. Every gmmtv boy is here and they are all playing engineers. They got two Flukes and everything. I wish Force wasn't once again an asshole jock and Book the clueless fool but I guess that's too much to ask. This is the couple I'm least interested here so I want to see the rest.

🇹🇼 See Your Love [3/13] - Taiwan just doing giving all the rep with disabled characters and as usual a parade of bl actors. It's fine for now.

🇯🇵 Smells like Green Spirit [6/9] - I love Mishima. I think the scenes with him and Kirino are always great. I'm still not totally on board with the romance but I'm somewhat fascinated with Yumeno.

QL - Finished

🇹🇼 First Note of Love - I feel like I need to rewatch this as a binge because I think this format didn't help this particular show. Although I like the mains and I really liked the actors, their romance never truly clicked for me. I need more of the sides. The language banter was my favourite thing about this.

🇹🇭 I Saw You In My Dream - This is super cute. They are all adorable and they actually communicate. Ultimately I was a little underwhelmed about the concept.

🇹🇭 Monster Next Door - It's fine. I like Big and he was great here. But I've already forgotten everything about this.

🇭🇰 Our Golden Times - I watched it. It was okay.

🇹🇭 Reverse 4 You - Pretty show. Good concept. Not great execution all the way through.

Dropped / On Hold

Waiting to binge - 🇹🇭 The Loyal Pin | 🇹🇭 Apple | 🇻🇳 Teenager Judge

Rose Watches OJBL

Same Difference aka Docchi mo Docchi (2014) - I don't even know what to say. It's not good. That's it.

Others - Watched

🇯🇵Densetsu no Head Sho| 🇰🇷Black Out | 🇯🇵Double

Upcoming Shows - November

As usual my ask box is open. Have a wonderful weekend💜

[pandasmagorica]

First Watch Review: Unknown

See also episode 1 notes

I just binge-watched the Taiwan QL series Unknown over the last few days. While it didn't knock anything off my Top 10 the way Knock Knock, Boys! did, it did earn a place on my A Cut Above list.

(As a side note, I'm realizing that I feel weird about Eternal Yesterday and Until We Meet Again no longer being on my Top 10, so I'm considering letting my Top list be as large as it needs to be to keep them on the list. 10 is an arbitrary number anyway. Eternal Yesterday and Until We Meet Again are special series in my heart and are definitely above being "just" a cut above.)

First off, I was almost ready to write the series off partway through the first episode because of the violence - content warning: crime gangs stage fights that they bet on and the fight scene is quite brutal. But it is mercifully brief and there's not a lot more violence in the rest of the series. I'm not generally someone who fast forwards but I guess you could do that or use the seek feature to skip it.

Brother-as-father Wei Qian starts helping homeless youth Yuan on the street. Yuan ultimately follows him home and sister Wei Bao lets him in. Yuan becomes part of the family, fully integrating into the family life with Qian, Bao, and friend-landlord San Pang.

As Yuan, now Wei Yuan, grows up, he realizes that he is gay and in love with Wei Qian. Meanwhile, Qian tries to put his gang life behind him and forms a game startup with Pang and Xiong Da Fang.

This series does a great job at showing domesticity and found family. There is also plenty of food porn. The transition of feral cat Yuan to family member Yuan is handled well.

The series generally does a good job of taking us on a journey across years of family life. One exception is a section where one of the characters spends time in the US. The series does not do a good job of getting across how long that time is, and we only learn of it later in a line of dialog in a later episode. I realize they wouldn't have a budget to show the character in New York, but for a script that did so well at setting where we are in the story, this was a significant failing. Given one of the other character's reactions to this absence, it's a wonder that other character was still alive upon the traveling character's return.

One possible challenge for English speakers is Yuan and Bao's name for Qian being transcribed in the subtitles as "Da Ge" rather than translated as "Big Brother" and Bao's name for Yuan as "Erge" rather than as "Second brother." But if you didn't know that before, you know now.

Similarly, I'm guessing when we see "San Pang-ge" in the subtitles, that this is family-izing San Pang as their brother. But that is only a guess.

Recommended if you're okay with an adopted-brothers adults relationship.

Anyway, let's go to the jump:

So the question all along once we know Wei Yuan's feelings is, how does Wei Qian feel about Wei Yuan? Is Wei Qian gay? After all, Pang has been setting up Qian with blind dates with women to no avail. Wei Qian claims to only have time for his job and his family, but is he hiding something, if only from himself?

Wei Yuan's scene coming out to Wei Qian is quite interesting. Wei Yuan seems to assume Wei Qian already knows and that Wei Yuan is just confirming it. Yuan is refreshingly self confident, a welcome improvement over Thun's self-doubt coming out to his mom in He's Coming to Me. However, Qian, in a scene reminiscent of Jim's reaction to Li Ming's coming out in Moonlight Chicken, can only tell Yuan of the difficulties Yuan is likely to face, including within his own family.

It's hard to know for this monolingual English speaker how much of it is in the original Chinese and how much is a shortcoming of the subtitles, but it seems to me that in this scene that Qian is intentionally being dense about Yuan's attraction to him. Ultimately, in a later scene, Yuan has to spell it out for him with a drunken kiss.

Qian had already been making noises about sending Yuan abroad to study - interestingly to this American Qian considers the UK more dangerous than the US. But now that Yuan has made his feelings know, Qian insists.

So Yuan goes to New York and Qian falls to pieces, eventually texting Yuan that he is welcome to come home if he wants. Does he finish his studies? We never find out. We eventually find out in a line of dialogue that Yuan was abroad for 4 years - I guess we can figure out the time lapse was significant as Yuan transforms from cutie pie to rugged dude, but still, more hints would have been welcome. And given the amount of drinking Qian did while Yuan was away, it's a wonder Qian hasn't killed himself or destroyed his career.

Part of the turmoil involves the return of the mob figure. Yuan puts himself in danger to try to keep Qian out of danger. But the mob dude is surprisingly okay with Qian's retiring. We never really get an explanation for this, but it's a relief that it's apparently over. Well, except for Qian's medical issues that are a hangover from the mob days.

Some of the turmoil, fortunately quickly resolved, involves Qian and Yuan keeping their relationship from Bao, as well as Bao and Pang keeping their relationship from Qian. It's funny that they can be offended by the others keeping secrets while being okay keeping secrets themselves.

But Yuan is a open book. Everyone knows how he feels, except of course Qian who doesn't want to know, until he's told and can't deny it any longer.

One thing: the obnoxious office-mate who wants to know who's top and who's bottom. I personally don't care and glad Qian didn't answer, but does say to himself "Isn't it obvious?" Well, not to me, although if I had to I'd guess Yuan as seme and Qian as uke, but why can't they be verse? Again, it wasn't clear to me and had no bearing on how I view the series.

Anyway, this is a fine series and deserves a place on my cut above list.

[opalvatter]

C dramas of 2023 so far…

Honestly, I just fell down the c drama rabbit hole a few months ago so not that many things to report. However, in least to most favourite so far...

5. Love like the Galaxy

Basically the story of 2 traumatised dumbasses (affectionate) who cause more trauma to each other, mixed in with palace plots, 2 other simps, a bunch of jealous women, far too many characters (including king Wendy and his two wives) and revenge, revenge, revenge and more revenge. And obviously, Love. The classic.

The only reason this is rated this low is because this was way too long to watch and everything else on this list is spectacular.

4. The General's lady

This show is practically 'scary man who is only nice to his (1) woman.' That is it. That's the story. No one cares about the plot.

This was the first c drama that I watched. And honestly, this story is not that great overall in terms of plot and everything, but has enough sweetness to make me swoon every 10 seconds.

3. Legend of Yunxi.

The open-ended tragedy of the medicine girl and the fake prince who is supposedly a monster. Not to forget mentioning the million other very important characters and flower valley owner, Mr.secondary love interest. Cold guy, who has a backstory, meets 'ugly' smart girl and tries to kill her at first sight. She runs and meets sweet guy, who has a backstory of his own. turns out, she gets married to cold guy anyway so no point in running. Don't worry, In this story everything is connected.

This was the second drama that I watched and has the most intense plot so far. unpopular opinion: I love the ending! To me, personally, it makes sense.

2.The Eternal Love

What do you do when you have 3 seasons of the same plot, but repeated falling in love and too much Humour ? You Binge watch only season 1 and ignore the other two.

Season 1 : Bossy, sarcastic Real estate agent gets transmigrated to the past, into the body of a Meek, responsible girl. Drama ensues when the body that now holds two souls, has to get married to the hot brother of OG girl's lover. There is now a love square that only the two girls and their hilarious maid know exist and everyone is confused. The 14th brother's outfits are terrible, the king has a glitter crown, the OG girl's lover gets possessed and now has great eyeliner, everyone has a secret tragic past and there is a demon king who walks around a circle chanting " I'm a bitch " 49 times.

Season 2 : They travel back in time and go back to the future. and only our hot guy knows what happens. and everything happens again. but everything is diffrent and there are now 2 hot guys.

Season 3 : This time, they get transported into an alternate reality where women rule and our Leads get soul swapped into the bodies of the ones in that universe. But, this time, the difference is, this dimension's hot guy is present most of the time and our hot guy only gets released when a memory comes to him. BUT, every time they kiss, he turns back into this universe hot guy, making everyone confused. again.

1. The Romance of Tiger and Rose

Normal day script writer gets transported into her own story and the only way she can go home is to finish the story without dying. Too bad she gets transported into the body of the mean girl, The hero's first wife who he poisons. Someone who is literally the first person to die. The someone who dies 3 episodes in.

But uh oh! now that she survives, the whole story goes up in flames and while trying to get the hero and heroine (her sister) together, she makes the hero fall for her, makes the heroine turn into the villain and overall fucks up the plot in the worst and best way possible. She didn't even have to try. Oh, and she also made another guy fall in love with her which makes her husband the king of jelousy.

Worthy mention to their Servants, Bai ji and Zi Rui, who each share 1 of their own masters' brain cells and are absolutely done with their masters' constant lovey dovey bullshit.

[lamonnaie]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

Thanks for the tag @fiercynn !! This is a really lovely idea :)

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself hi i'm mars, i use she/her pronouns, i live in australia and i've been into thai/asian bl for a little over a year now. i mostly just lurk and mass rb on tumblr lol, but i'd definitely like to get to know more people !!

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom? I was actually trying to track down the exact date recently (i failed), but i watched it for the first time around mid-september 2022, ended up binging it in a day and been a part of the fandom since

favorite ship(s) patpran <3

favorite character(s) pat !! he's one of my favourite characters from any media ever. I just love how selfless he is and how he transforms through the show, and how bright he is but knows when to stand his ground. i could wax poetics about him fr <3

favorite episode(s) Whenever i watch/rewatch bad buddy i tend to binge it so i can never distinguish betweens episodes lol. In general, ep 12 is definitely one of my favs because i feel like it ties things up nicely and i like seeing them happy :) i can probably give a better answer for favourite scene...

favorite scene(s) ...which is why it's great that this is the next question!

In no particular order: the staircase proposal scene, the bus stop roleplaying scene, the post-curtain bench hand holding scene (specifically that one face pat/ohm makes which imo is the single most most heartbreaking frame in the entire show), the ep 12 post-credits scene (wait was it actually post-credits, i don't remember ajksdjf), the screaming on the rocks at the zero-waste village scene, and the rooftop kiss (ofc)

Basically i just like to see them happy (most of the time) :)

one thing you would change about the show if you could the whole making-it-up-to-wai arc was not it for me. WHY was pran the one apologising and going after him??? still makes me mad to this day, but i think i'd have a lot more animosity towards wai if ep 12 didn't exist (also all the wai redemption arcs in fanfics have made me warm up to him :P)

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people? ahhh so many!! joy of stanning a show that's finished is that it stays going through fanworks, but also now there's too many that i absolutely adore to remember in the moment, sp here's some:

we both know you're my only dream (fic) by @fiercynn: one of my favourite fics ever that i constantly go back and reread whenever i'm having a bad day (or not)

yield strength (fic) by @dulosis: the physics analogies do something to my brain /pos

10 things i hate about you (fic) by @nobodynobodyno: this one's so cute and i reread it all the time

this fmv to tujh mein rab dikhta hai by @transpat: desi moots, iykyk. but fr this holds such a special place in my heart, the lyrics are so patpran and the editing and clip choice is just *chef's kiss*

this fmv to dandelions: IT'S SO GOOD. all the parallels, the dialogue overlaying is just perfect, and the TRANSITIONS (the one at 1:28 especially)

every single one of @hereforlou's art: i'm literally obsessed, i don't always see everything on my dash so i'll literally check their tumblr every couple days. is this stalker behaviour? possibly, but if you've seen their art i think you'd understand.

Also special mention to this one gifset of the staircase proposal scene which was my first ever exposure to bad buddy, it made me watch the show to begin with, but i didn't rb it when i first saw it so now it's lost to the times 😭😭

I have an insane amount of fanfic i wanted to put here but for the sake of length of this post, i restrained myself ajskdjf

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made? i do not (yet 👀)

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol) pretty much every fmv/edit that i've rewatched a couple times set to a song will make me thing of bbs lol, so some are tujh mein rab dikhta hai and dandelions from above, emily by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler because of this amazing fic, and gorgeous by Taylor Swift because of this gorgeous edit (y'all please go watch it it's amazing).

idk anything else you want us to know? It's the perfect timing for this because these are my nails right now ):)

honestly not super sure who of my mutuals are bbs moots so i'm just gonna tag some people, feel free to ignore this if you've already been tagged/don't want to do it! :)

@nobodynobodyno @dropthedemiurge @justafriend-ql @cornflowershade @hometothecanyonmoon @7nessasaryevils

If you see this and you want to do it, this is is me tagging you as well !!

[softsophos]

Ultimate Supernatural Marathon Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Recipe (For Disaster) Blog Post below the cut but

TLDR: my friend and I are on a quest to determine if it's possible to watch all 15 seasons of supernatural in 13 days. We did the first 5 seasons in 4 days two years ago (I didn't really talk about it on here, didn't have too many spn followers back then) and over the next 4.5 days we're watching seasons 6-10.

I'm chronicling it here, feel free to send asks (thoughts and prayers) or interact, but I will be tagging posts about it so you can ignore me.

Wish us luck!

So, once upon a time in lockdown...

My friend and I were discussing how now that everything is 'binged' (streamed) we as a society have lost the certain je ne sais quoi of a good-old-fashioned-slightly-unhinged-binge-watch. Why I remember, back in the day, my older sister doing sleep-overs with her friends to watch like all five marvel movies! News stories warning of coming across abandoned homes with skeletons sitting in front of a still running netflix! Now-a-days everyone binges everything so no one binges anything, if you know what I mean.

And what better to do a classic ill-advised binge watch with than the classic work of art, the CW's Supernatural? 15 seasons worth of content and experience that feels like a fever dream anyway! Plus, my friend had never seen it and might as well get an Experience for their trouble, eh?

With 327 episodes it would take a bit over 10 days with absolutely no pauses whatsoever. So we're going for 13 days broken into three 5 season segments. And by 'going for' to be clear there is a spreadsheet documenting our schedule in 15 minute increments for the whole time. For funsies!

Additional fun includes thematic baking, cooking, and crafts (we're making a blanket!).

The crew is myself (The Professional), my friend (The Initiate), and my friend's fiancé who also will be living there (The Unsuspecting).

Once again, please feel free to ask us how it's going, chat with us, or just block the tag lol. Regardless, be aware that for the next several days I will be Unwell.

[feuqueerfire]

Never Let Me Go Ep 9 - 12 Live Blogging

Kinda funny that I binged the first 4 episodes, watched the next 4 episodes weekly, then am binging the last 4 episodes. Hopefully I didn't forget everything because I haven't watched the show in a month since ep 8.

I think this is teaching me that I like watching shows over 10-14 days after the show is done or reaching its end rather than watching weekly. I'll try to refrain from starting On-Air shows right now but who knows, might succumb to the desire once again.

Ep 9: Memories (Feb 27)

9-1

not the tattoo with Nueng's name gbye

shy Palm is cute. Nueng flustering him and teasing him and being lovey dovey

no I'm actually so ew about the tattoo lmfao

does Nuen really not feel weird or pressured by that tattoo

9-2

I don't like how Ben is with Chopper like it's not working for me because he seems too flippant while knowing Chopper's feelings

actually, the Ben and Chopper convo in the bathroom is fun about Ben saying he'll expose Chopper's dad but Chopper begging Ben

oof the emotional moment between Palm and his mom

damn Palm having to leave his mom where she died is so fucked

9-3

fight on the rocks from the trailers. it... idk I could probably form opinions if I thought about it but I don't really want to so my opinion on it is that: it happened

ah poor Palm thinking about his mom :< also mans killed 2 men, how's he dealing with that

9-4

(Fave) ah this drunk, dreamy slow dancing so good. it's so raw and aching and sad

this stupid goodbye letter from Nueng ah and he even left the bracelet, poor Palm

Ep 10: (Feb 27)

10-1

oh it makes sense that these are flashbacks because when I was seeing spoiler gifs of this, I was like I thought Nueng left in the last episode

ah this convo :< and them together in the bathtub :<

damn, Nueng really playing with his uncle with the "It's fine if I ruin the hotel. If somebody else ruins it, I won't let it slide"

ah Nueng crying while clutching Palm's shirt and thinking back to when they were playing around and sniffing each other

10-2

damn Nueng really came to school with all the bravado. being mad at Chopper (understandably for him. less understandably for Ben who idek what he's planning to do or what exactly he's expecting Chopper to do). Power over Phum

Nueng living half through flashbacks

10-3

this show has such good background noises or music sometimes (like some of the English songs but sometimes it's so Indian Serial

ah more conflict ensues between Chopper and his father

10-4

so Palm and Nueng are already at the same place again. will they reunite?

Palm watching over Nueng in an Edward-esque way is so funny lmfaooo

lol everybody including me was like uhhh why boyfriends only on the island, will this bring more drama but in the end, that part was resolved easily

ofc somebody (working for Uncle Kit I'm guessing) saw Palm and Nueng hugging and took pictures

Ep 11: You (Feb 28)

Ep 12 released and I think... people liked it?

11-1

I believe Palm can just tell Nueng Diao about being threatened and come up with a plan

11-2

I don't even care about Palm's dilemma of who to save or kill like i just don't care

Palm taunting Kit like that feels dumb

11-3

pls Palm's dad's realization of him ruining his wife's and son's life is so anticlimactic and making me feel nothing

the Chopper and Kit father-son dynamic is so much more insane and interesting comparatively

11-4

idk something about Palm and Nueng's relationship feels wonky. it doesn't focus enough on the relationship progression (the way Palm still calls him Khun Nueng is like hm) but there's enough focus on the relationship that it being in the middle of all the other events feels intrusive

It's ep 11 and nothing actually important happened this ep until possibly the end because everything kept getting resolved or something. but also idk how things keep getting resolved, what exactly are they planning to do about Kit?

Also Palm in this ep just kept smiling and nodding along to Nueng like wtf

Ep 12: Forever (Feb 28)

12-1

I just think it's so funny that fucked up murderer with no morals Kit is like "why the fuck are you guys pointing your guns at my son?!" to his bodyguards after said son shot him in the leg while Palm's father is such a piece of shit spineless buffoon that he'd rather Palm jump in front of bullets to protect Nueng Diao

and then Chopper got to have a more dramatic crying scene with his father who got shot in the arm by the police than Palm got to have with his mom

12-2

I wish this cousin Chopper and Nueng relationship was better present through the show and more developed oof Yang and Tian are the peak in that sort of relationship

pls this Ben/Chopper scene is so... okay alright

I guess the police have to do something with Kit now since he was caught redhanded whereas before he was brining the cops and also there wasn't evidence

I got spoiled about Palm's leg before watching

12-3

Ben is so not funny. Ben and Chopper are so irritating to me personally

please not Palm decide to leave this time with a note

12-4

damn 3 months later

pls the bar's name is straight up Nueng Diao so funny

at least they finally addressed the Khun Nueng my goodness

I actually don't care about the plot of this show that much because I was mostly there for the characters and character relationships but it didn't give me what I wanted. I don't like Ben/Chopper and Nueng/Palm felt meh toward the end and also didn't give me whatI wanted really.

My big problem with this show which is that nothing feels like it gets enough emotion or gravity and instead it's either fixed quickly or we move on quickly

Anyway, idk. I liked the first 2/3 of the series even though it wasn't A Fave but it had some great moments and lots of potentials to me. I stopped caring about the characters while watching these last 4 and these last 2 episodes were just so... agh.

I just care about Chopper atp and want better for him.

This was one of my most anticipated shows of 2022 (which is why I started watching it weekly), so it's sad that it turned out this way.

Rating: 6.5/10

Tiktoks

[Fave] mock trailer (bg:  if the whole world was watching i’d still dance with you)

[Fave] Mock and Official Trailer: Phuwin with Chimon (and I feel perfectly fine...) vs Pond (but i miss screaming and crying) (bg: That’s The Way I Loved You by Taylor Swift)

Ep 2 Neung wants to watch Palm swim

Ep 4 Neung drinking and getting mad 

Ep 4 + 5 preview Nueng being outed

Ep 4 Neung drinking and being jealous (bg: It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to)

Ep 4 times Palm called Khun Nu/Neung vs Neung

Ep 5 Ben is outed

Ep 4 Palm fixing hair in a babygirl way (bg: sin city wasn’t made for you)

Ep 7 Palm wishing for his mom dad and Nueng to be safe vs them in crisis next ep

Ep 6 attractive Nueng in the beach as he lays down with Palm and his pink shirt 

Ep 7 romance

[cubicle-thoughts]

I binged all of the Attack on Titan anime in 7 days (May 18-24, 2024). I'm left feeling philosophical and existencial. The fans who went through 10 years of emotional attachment while I just breezed through them in a week, makes me feel like I missed out....

I missed out on not just being a part of the community during it's peak, but I feel like binging them left me little room to process my emotions of the series as I jumped from one plot to the next. I gobbled up the episodes like a mindless Titan and only halted when I was working. Only in Hange's death did I feel like taking a genuine break from watching.

While processing the emotions, I realized "huh, I must've really loved her character". I barely shed a tear but I made a sad face which was more than the reaction I had for Erwin's death. Speaking of his death, I didn't "feel" it when he was dead dead, I felt it when Levi made the decision to make it permanent. So I was more sad for Levi upon Erwin's death.

I had to rewatch her death scene via a clip on Youtube because I wanted to "feel" it again. It still hurts especially her afterlife scene. Erwin always being at the front of her and Levi's imagination when looking back to their fallen comrades, never fails to add more emotions. To cheer myself up I rewatched the video of a Hange cosplayer dancing to "talk dirty to me" hahaha iykyk. I won't watch her death scene ever again. I can't.

It's funny because that was the first ever scene I decided to watch a few years ago. It was a clip recommended on youtube. I never watched clips of the anime when it on-going. I put off watching the anime until it was completed because I thought to myself "I can't possibly suffer the waiting period in between seasons if the show was good". I don't know why I decided to break my rule just for this one clip. And looking back, I don't think I even understood why it was called her death scene because she looked so peaceful (note: it was out of context for me and I didn't know Erwin was dead). And it's funny because the me from the past didn't know it would affect me in a big way today.

-----

I never spoiled myself of plot points. I didn't know the ending but was very hopeful that it would be a happy one. Every character death left me thinking "it's okay, the ending's gonna be happy". Like a mantra to keep me optimistic. I read somewhere that Eren could travel back in time (but I didn't read further on how he could) so I was hoping that during the last few episodes, any time now, Eren will find the "happy ending" and go back in time to prevent the war. I much preferred he had altered the timeline where most of his friends never met if it meant that all of them led happy lives because I know Armin and Mikasa would still be with him. If not him, I was also hoping Ymir would instead. Changing her fate by letting the King die and maybe, the outcome would be happier (we'll never know).

But the thing is Eren did find the happy ending...for everyone else that is. I just wanted one where he got it too. Not an ending where Mikasa has 10 years of emotional baggage. God damn it.

A lot of comments/critiques say Eren's choices were done with free will but I'm left thinking that it doesn't seem that way. He chained himself to the only outcome where everyone is free from the titan curse. Feels like he was forced down this path...I guess because he wasn't selfish.

Arghh it would've been easier for me to process if his reason was simply "I want to do this for everyone's sake". At first, I thought his reason was because "protect Eldia, massacre everyone else" then it was "the outside world isn't filled with only flowers so I'll till the land myself and make it so". I think I'll revisit the ending in the future and maybe I'll finally come to my own conclusion.

-----

I binged the show on Netflix and I later found out that they altered the ending. For one, they played Call of Silence during the scene where Mikasa sat beside Eren's grave. After that it cuts to The End card. This ending felt a lot more sentimental both to the character and to the fans. However there was a post credits scene Netflix didn't include (in my region's version as far as I know) where the ending was...a lot more hopeless. Depicting a future where the cycle of war in Eldia never ends and Eren's efforts may not have changed anything. Because his grave is the next mysterious tree that may be holding the parasite that gives the Power of the Titans.

Anyway, I'm wondering if Mikasa married years down the line. The man she was with looks like Jean to me because it can't be Armin. Personally I hope she stayed single because she defied Eren's words asking her to move on just like how she never discarded the red scarf. It's still possible she married though because I caught a glimpse of a ring on her hand in-between the flowers. But married or not, both paths are bittersweet because she clearly never got over Eren and was even buried(?) on the same tree.

-----

Arghhh what a rollercoaster. I'm going to let these feelings simmer for awhile and won't be watching another anime for the next 7 days at least. I find myself watching analysis videos of the ending and random clips. Probably might read some fanfics too because I really want some ErenxMikasa romance, lord knows we only got crumbs in canon.

The show finished airing in November 2023 but it felt like it had been 2 years. I wonder what Isayama is going to do next.

I started watching the series on a whim and ended with eMOtional damage.

[adrie-75014]

WHEWWW okay lessgo I'm excluding podcasts that I started but didn't get into and abandoned after an episode or a few episodes, though keeping a few that I listened to the majority of episodes but fell off later down the line for no specific reason. A few of these may be out of order - in particular the ones that are currently releasing, as this is based on a list I keep of ones I'd finished and weren't current - but should be nearly accurate!

FINISHED (in order of first to last, ** = I know there's more content/seasons to come 🔸 = actively releasing & currently listening) After the Revolution** -> found ATR via the non-fiction podcast Behind the Bastards. Is more like an audiobook, but I loved the format of being told a fiction story, so I searched for more. I forget how I found Starship Iris sadly, but it set a high bar for every podcast to come! Strange Case of the Starship Iris** -> led me to seek out more space operas, looking particularly for queer stories as well EOS 10 -> (found Under Pressure via Procyon Podcast Network via Starship Iris) Under Pressure The Oyster -> Found Heroics via EOS 10 because I enjoyed the writing Heroics** -> Friend recommended Penumbra The Penumbra Podcast/Juno Steel** The Far Meridian** Love and Luck We Fix Space Junk** -> At this point, I was still really looking for something to scratch the same itch as Starship Iris's Arkady/Violet storyline. We Fix Space Junk didn't quite do that, through no fault of its own! It's fun, but just not a romance. So I then went off searching reddit posts for recommendations specifically for podcasts with queer romantic plotlines, especially sapphic ones. You'll see quite a few in this next batch of podcasts mostly stemming from that The 12:37 What Will Be Here Arden** Null/Void This Planet Needs a Name -> Found Starfall via Ishani Kanetkar, who I enjoyed in Starship Iris Starfall** Wolf359 🔸 Back Again Back Again Station Arcadia** Under the Electric Stars** Who Killed Avril Lavigne  🔸 The Pasithea Powder Where the Stars Fell** The Godshead Incidental Caravan** Desperado**  Greenhouse Elixir 🔸 Meteor City The Bright Sessions Me and AU ->Was sick with possible COVID, wanted something positive and easy to listen to - in particular, something with steady energy/sound - like Me and AU, started Kaleidotrope Kaleidotrope  -> had really, really loved Elixir, went to check out what else was available from Realm, found Ninth Step Murders Ninth Step Murders Vega: A Sci-fi Adventure Podcast  Girl in Space**? -> found SINKHOLE via a post I made on Reddit, looking for shows with "unreliable narrators." What inspired me to post was my umpteenth re-listen of Juno Steel and the Shadows On the Ship, which is one of my favorite episodes and one I really relate to in a way. The creator commented, and I binged much of SINKHOLE the next day SINKHOLE** 🔸 Lost Terminal Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason Second Star to the Left Seen and Not Heard** 🔸 Valence Light Hearts Keep It Steady** -> found Spire via Tumblr 🔸 Spire -> looking for comfort shows like Me and AU and Kaleidotrope, I came upon Roommates and The Two Princes Roommates  The Deca Tapes The Two Princes  -> found Death by Dying via a suggested Twitter post, I don't usually go for horror, but their account was really clever and witty, so I gave it a shot and really enjoy it. 🔸 Death By Dying ** Small Victories** Planet Radiant** The Night Shift** -> on the heels of Death by Dying, I'd known about Hannahpocalypse for a while but hadn't listened bc I wasn't sure if it might be more heavy on zombie body horror, but decided to listen after being pleasantly surprised and really enjoying Death by Dying. Wound up loving Hannahpocalypse Hannahpocalypse** Bodies in Space Dreamboy  Gay Future 

hello err fans of podcasts :3 im doing a project for school on fiction podcasts so..

if you could reblog this with all the podcasts you listened to in order (if you want to provide commentary as to why you went from one podcast to another (for example, the magnus archives to malevolent as a popular example->the eldritch horror) that'd be really useful! thanks :)

[thetaoofbetty]

Do you truly think Bughead stands a chance at getting endgame? I’ve tried to hold out hope these last two seasons. I thought once upon a time that eventually the payoff would be worth it, but the nonsense just goes on and on. I feel like BH’s get kicked in the teeth every episode and are punished for their years of devotion. And it’s not even like BA and JT are written well or have anywhere near the level of BH’s chemistry, but sometimes it feels like we’re stuck with them because RAS has disdain for his audience and is fixated on the “new” above honoring these characters and giving the show the ending it deserves. I’m sorry for being so negative. I just feel so stupid for continuing to invest anything in this show. I don’t want to discover a year from now that my time has been wasted and that the show is still trying to convince us that Betty and Jughead belong with other people and can’t even be assed to let them discuss anything not plot point related.

i've been avoiding these asks for a while because i don't want to come off like i'm telling anyone how to feel but since i keep getting asked i guess i'll try and give my honest opinion but hopefully without offending or upsetting anyone (jinxed by even saying it, i know).

bughead is not the first ship to get kicked in the teeth. they're not even the first ship to break up and have the writers ignore the fact that they dated for a good portion of time. they are not the first ship to date other people and totally act like they never dated until it's time to ramp up any drama. they are not the first ship to date, break up, date others, and then tell that new person that they love them.

and every ship i am thinking of for the above? they ended up together in the end. so yeah, i think it's possible. stories aren't told in a vacuum and shows that go on for 22 episodes or more need to drag out their narratives. these are not 8 episode netflix or hbo max shows that have limited time for their stories, they are filling a lot more air time. they have and will drag things out if they're trying to get to a certain point. yes, riverdale does this worse than others. 100%. 1000% even.

maybe it's a product of us all bingeing and watching shows with 8-10 eps a season but recently i was rewatching gilmore girls with my exchange student and i legit kept leaving the room because i felt like it was dragging on even tho i watched it when it was on week to week and was invested. there were a lot of episodes that just felt like they did nothing past fill some time. which is probably what they were doing when you need to make 22 of them in a season.

and listen, i'm not the biggest fan of anyone writing this show overall (how no one seems to know what anyone else is doing is just such a bad way to write?) but i don't think roberto actually has a disdain for the audience. ted? sure. we don't appreciate his genius and therefore suck. his arrogance is well known. evan? he wants attention. he got it. it was a dumb move. raise your hand if you're a bughead fic author who has written more interaction between betty and archie in your fics than this man (their king!) has written onscreen.

this show is badly run, written, and promoted. that's pretty obvious at this point. not a lot of people are watching, not a lot of people care anymore and i totally get why. i'm not going to tell you to continue being invested in something making you unhappy, your fictional escapes should bring you joy so taking a break when needed is always a good idea.

personally, if they're going to drag out this whole timelines mess, i don't think everything that happened will be ignored, it's just a continuation—and i'm not going to assume anything about the 50s thing, we don't even know how long it's going to last or what will happen within it. but we haven't even seen the finale yet and at the end of the day, i feel like they didn't have tabitha tell veronica it was 50/50 for the fun of it. but that's me and i think everyone should do what works for them when it comes to this show and fandom.

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

I finally took time to watch "Travis Willingham's Yeehaw Game Ranch" (first season). Wow. Woooow. Like that dude said in the pilot of one of my favorite shows of all time (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) : "I'm forever changed after what I just saw !"

More under the cut. With "spoilers" (?)

OK it was intense binge-watching days because here's what happened : I saw the first episode, it was pleasant and very funny, then I said to myself "why not watch a second one ?". And then there was a puppet with the most ridiculous name, that Marisha was voicing with a heavy southern accent, telling the very baffled Brian and Travis that there was a "prophecyyyyyyy" ?? HOW COULD I NOT WATCH ALL OF THE EPISODES AFTER THAT ? Thus began an intense couple of days, where I think I scared my neighbours because of how much I laughed. The craziest thing is that I don't play video games myself (even if I know of them, or at least the more famous ones, like GTA or Overcooked) so in the end... even though I began very casually, saying to myself that I could do something else while putting it on background and that if I didn't like it I could give it up... It now may be my favorite thing the CR team put together (except of course the main show and some very very good one-shots) ! Just pure serotonin !!

Some things I noted :

The fact that they have created entire backstories for their characters is so funny and so on point.

Travis killing Brian first chance he got seems logical.

Brian and Ashley really found themselves, huh, because they are equally horrible at driving in video games.

Brian : "Wait... If Travis is the Chosen One, then what am I ?" T.N.Tina : "A LIABILITY !!"

the fact that they spent 10 minutes of the Portal 2 episode wondering why they were sponsored and promoting the stuff while laughing at magnets

I think Liam was the best at puppet work (the way Tet'nus Terry worked its little rabbit hands !), but my favorite voice was Ashley's or Brittany Walloch-Key.

Whoever came up with the insults for Brian and the general speech of the puppets deserve a raise. "Rotten piece of asparagus sidekick" ? "Two-legged horse with immacular degeneration and permanent resting bitch face" ? "A malnourished, dried up, volleyball-looking little fuck" ? "Ugly little dirt merchant" ? COME ON

Laura and Ashley's episode was a pure delight. I hope we will see them again at some point. Respect for their one true goal : to fuck shit up and buy some good clothes (or just go naked on the streets, which was certainly a choice)

The critters' names !! No one can beat "Root'n Toot'n Ruby" but they are all absolutely GOLD.

During the Mario episode, Brian and Travis are otherwise occupied to quibble about things like an old married couple, and they didn't pause the game, so meanwhile Luigi is very casually killed by a ghost. Funniest 30 seconds of my day.

of course the game soul is charged up to 69%, of course. Nice.

Brian : "You've heard of us ?" Dra'kar Noir : "Us ? No. Let's just say I've heard of the great noble knight known as Travis Willingham. " Brian : "Wait, what about me ?" Dra'kar Noir : "I mean... Yeah, I've heard about you."

The way Matt voiced the "Warning : This episode depicts gratuitous acts of puppet violence"

wow, the assassination of T.N.Tina by the coward Bast'alar will live rent-free in my head. So much blood !

At the end of the day I know we can joke about the CR company doing their projects based on what makes them laugh the most, but I absolutely believe that this specific idea for a show was had while at least one person on the creating team was high as a kite. Just... there's no other explanation. It feels unhinged in the most funny way possible.

[headless-horsepossum]

I started listening to Random Horror Podcast #9 (a podcast about horror movies with Cecil Baldwin and Jeffrey Cranor, Yes That Cecil and Jeffrey) in January when I spent several days in the hospital with an kidney infection, didn't listen for a few months, and then picked it back up last week while recovering from top surgery, and then the worst possible thing happened, which is that I am not fully recovered, but I am CAUGHT UP on rh9, which is literally the most devastating thing that could have happened.

Anyway this is both a lament and a rec cause this podcast is literally so nice cecil gets so excited about horror in such a specifically queer way (plus, while he talks very differently as himself than as Radio Voice Cecil GP, he still has the best voice on planet earth) and Jeffrey cranor is SUCH a sweet sensitive soul, I have so many movies I want to watch now, AND so many that I know I am going to steer clear of, which is at least as good, 10/10, would binge 100 episodes while lying in bed in a robe and bandages like an ailing Victorian lordling

[kdramaanalyst]

THE KING: ETERNAL MONARCH REVIEW

EDIT: I AM SO SORRY, THIS IS A SECONDARY BLOG AND I JUST LEARNED THAT I CAN'T REPLY TO COMMENTS. PLEASE CHECK MY PINNED BLOG WHERE I WROTE ABOUT THIS PROBLEM. THANK YOU!

Spoilers ahead!!! Read at your own risk. Once again, I am not an expert and these are my personal opinions. If you have disagreements, let's talk it over. Don't judge me, let's judge the show together instead and have an understanding.

For the first drama that I am going to review, I chose The King: Eternal Monarch. A lot of viewers who supported the show with all of their hearts could still not get over its ending. Others who like to binge-watch are relieved because they can finally watch the entire series without waiting for a new episode to air. While some are still mulling over about watching it. Well, I hope I could help you with this review.

• Introduction to the Drama

Short gist:

The story revolves around Lee Gon, present King of Kingdom of Corea. He witnessed his father’s death when he was young, an incident that haunted him until he grew older. Due to unfortunate circumstances, a legendary flute with powers called Manpasikjeok that can open different worlds was cut in half. He was able to get hold half of the flute, while the other half was obtained by Lee Lim, his uncle who killed his father. Lee Lim had been going back and forth two different worlds, plotting foul pursuits to fulfill his evil desires, and disrupting the peace between the two worlds. In order to restore balance and order, Lee Gon also traveled between worlds, meeting Jeong Tae Eul who soon became a significant person in his life.

If you've been watching Korean Dramas for quite a while now, you must be familiar with some of the characters of The King: Eternal Monarch, especially the lead.

If you call yourself a k-drama fan and you don't know who Lee Minho is, give yourself a slap (just kidding, please don't take that seriously). Lee Minho has a good reputation because of his experience, acting skills and obviously, his gorgeous face. He has an impressive list of successful dramas and movies! Most of us probably knew him through his breakthrough role in Boys Over Flowers.

Meanwhile, Kim Go Eun, despite being fairly new to small screen (she first started appearing in movies), is also highly distinguished by a lot of k-drama fans. In all three dramas she starred in, including The King, she always got the lead role. His leading men are no joke either. And because of Kim Go Eun, many of us still wants to be the goblin's bride.

Among the cast also includes the familiar faces of Woo Do Hwan, Kim Kyung Nam, Jung Eun Chae, and Lee Jung Jin.

Anyway, I'll try to share every thought I have from the first time I watched it until it ended. I will also try not to give so much spoilers because the drama just ended. I will talk first about my experience watching it and then I will list at the very bottom some of the issues I have and that list contains major spoilers so watch out for that. As you notice, I always warn you with spoilers using red font color.

• The Experience

When I watched the first teaser of the drama, I got intrigued and a little confused. What worlds are they talking about? Do they have super powers? Is this a historical drama? Questions were instantly formed in my head.

It also reminded me of the drama Queen In Hyun's Man because of a similar scene where the leading man is riding his horse in the middle of the city and finding his woman. But that's just it, the two dramas are completely different. I just mentioned it because others may have felt the same way.

I don't usually watch dramas while it's still fresh. I wait for about two to three weeks before the schedule of the ending so I can binge watch without waiting so much. When I watched The King, there were already 12 episodes available on Netflix. Usually, I would finish 12 episodes in 1-3 days, and if the drama is really good and it's MY STYLE (i said that in an obviously fake Korean accent), I could watch it for an entire day.

However, I finished those 12 episodes in 2 weeks...

Why??? Why did it take me that long???

I wouldn't say I was bored, it's just that during the first few episodes, nothing caught my interest yet. I wasn't convinced that it was a good drama. There was nothing special and I didn't know what to look forward to that's why I couldn't watch it continuously. I got lazy. The pace was slow and the story build up was a little stagnant. It was too slow that I even started watching a long length saeguk just so I can watch something else.

I could have skipped some parts and dropped it but I continued watching and gave it a chance. Though it was a good thing that I didn't stop because as I watched more episodes, the story actually became more exciting. Finally, I saw some progress. I started to get invested in the drama after the eighth episode. That's when the story felt more alive. Finally, there were revelations, more conflicts arose, more emotions were shown, and the story got deeper. I began to appreciate the drama. However, I still don't like the fact that it took me 8 episodes before I started to like it.

• Points that I Liked About the Drama

1. The plot seemed like it's going to be too science fiction-y but it's just the right amount. I was worried that it might be too much for me to handle but it was just okay (i am a potato who dislikes thinking so much, but that depends on my mood lololol). I liked how there's a mix of history in the drama, as well as of politics but it still feels modern. There is a balance.

2. The distinction between the Kingdom of Corea and Republic of Korea is impressive. It's obvious that they put a lot of effort in building their vision of KOC to life.

3. Many people were saying that it's hella confusing and so much was going on. I don't think so. They actually made it easy for viewers to understand about parallel worlds. You don't have to study science facts just to get this drama's concept. I think the slow pace did its job well in this part.

4. The story is unpredictable. You never know what's going to happen next, that's the strength of The King's concept. Because of the two different worlds and the crazy number of characters, there could be a lot of possibilities and backstories.

5. The action scenes are commmendable. I liked the action scenes, the one during the last episode is probably my favorite.

• Points that I Didn't Like About the Drama

1. The slow pace. I don't think I still need to explain more but it totally ruined my whole experience of watching the drama.

2. Many characters didn't leave much impact. Their acting was great, however, I don't see a lot of personalities that standout. The most remarkable ones for me are the characters played by Woo Do Hwan. The other characters, especially the lead, the prime minister and the traitor were okay, too. The others were just bland and years from now, I probably won't remember most of them.

• The Ending (spoiler alert!)

The ending was good. It didn't feel rushed and everyone had a separate ending of their own. I just wished there was more Nari and Eunsup / Yeong and Seung A moment in the end, the conclusion was fine though. I don't like that Prime Minister Koo ended up in jail but Luna became a cop...

I just have one issue regarding the ending that they decided on. In the end they didn't show if Tae Eul became a queen. Well, it would be weird if she became one considering there is Luna in KOC. They can't be together in ROK, too because Gon's counterpart was able to live. So... what? They just kept traveling whenever they have time? Because if that's the case, doesn't that mean they will hide their relationship forever??? I liked that they ended up together but I wish they also kept this in mind. Because it kinda makes me sad. Lol.

• Final Thoughts

Overall, it was alright. It was over-hyped by netizens due to the amazing casting and promotions, but it's not bad at all.

Would I watch it again? No.

Would I recommend it? Yes. Give it a try! I honestly thought I wouldn't like it but I still did, even if it took me 8 episodes, I wouldn't say it wasn't worth it. If you enjoy fantasy dramas with complicated twists and conflicts, this drama is for you. Just have patience and prepare yourself mentally when you've reached the middle. This drama is gloomy and a little heavy, too. It was serious and has a very few humorous scenes.

I am giving The King: Eternal Monarch a 7/10. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

• The King: Eternal Monarch OST Top 5

There are 13 songs in total and everything is so good! I wish I got to hear more of the songs in the drama, some were just played briefly. I swear every song makes me feel things. Choosing just 5 songs is really hard. If you don't watch dramas but love music, give these a listen!!!

My Day Is Full Of You by Zico, Wendy

Orbit by Hwasa

I Fall In Love by Ha Sungwoon

I Just Want To Stay With You by Zion.T

Please Don't Cry by Davichi

Now I'll move on to some of my "issues". This section isn't really what you think. The word "issues" is just intriguing ㅋㅋㅋ but this is just a compilation of my opinions, observations, feelings and other stuff no one might care about in the series. If you have answers for my questions or if you can explain it for me, please enlighten me. Major spoiler ahead!!!

• Issues

1. During the time when Lee Gon was time traveling and finally got back to Repuplic of Korea, it probably took him a lot of time, right? He even took his time to take care of Tae Eul in the hospital. I wish they also showed what was happening in Kingdom of Corea during that time because he's a king and his absence might have caused a ruckus in his kingdom. I can even picture the palace lady Noh getting really worried as Lee Gon travels. The moment he came back, they only gave him updates as if everything was okay.

But since they didn't show it, I guess it is safe to assume that nothing much happened in his kingdom back then. 🤷‍♀️

2. When Gon and Tae Eul met again in Gwanghwamun, why did Tae Eul hug him? In my understanding, at that period of time, Tae Eul only met him twice—once when she was 5 and once when she was 27. So why did she hug him suddenly as if she knows he's going to be a significant person in her life? Their dialogue when they met again when she was 27 wasn't even enough for her to act that way.

3. I hope they also gave Nari more lines and importance. Maybe it's just me, but at first, I thought she and her KOC counterpart would have more significant roles. When I think of it, even without her, the story could still go on. Though this is just a minor issue. ✌

4. Prime Minister Koo. She was a villain, but I didn't really hate her until the last 4-5 episodes (can't recall the exact episode, sorry), though I wouldn't say I hated her so much. I actually liked her at first! She's ambitious, fierce, independent and intelligent. She just got blinded by greed.

My issue here is, am I really supposed to feel like that? In my opinion, her character has the potential to become more heinous and despiteful. I was wondering why they didn't turn her into someone like that? She was just greedy, bitchy, a little sly and annoying.

5. Lee Gon's and Tae Eul's love for each other was a little shallow. Sure, the man who saved Lee Gon when he was a child, had Tae Eul's ID. But how sure was Lee Gon that the woman who owns the I.D. is not a villain? The woman in the ID could lead him to the man who saved him, yes, but it still bugs me how easily they fell in love especially on Lee Gon's part. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. I am sorry. 😅

In spite of that, I still liked their love progression. I didn't ship them that hard but their chemistry wasn't cringey and forced.

6. The scene where Lee Gon gave Tae Eul flowers and then left, was a little confusing. It didn't break my heart, too. I just felt a little sad while watching that scene because Kim Go Eun's acting was good.

7. Who the f is thay yoyo boy??? My guts tell me he's a part of the flute or something because he knows a lot. But I wish it was explained more. It looked weird how he just suddenly appears sometimes and suddenly talks some sense. He remains a mystery.

8. Why the f is Jeong Tae Eul a flat earther??? Well, at least she had a character development in the end. It just annoyed me lmao

9. I don't get why people keep comparing The King: Eternal Monarch to Goblin. Why??? They don't even have the same plot or concept.

10. Court lady Noh was from Republic of Korea... What? Was that necessary?

Don't mind me. Don't mind me. Don't mind me.

Anyway I hate how tumblr wasn't able to save my draft when I was writing additional content. I lost half of it and it makes me furious!!! I had to redo the draft but I can no longer remember some of the things I wrote. I am sad because I lost something that can't be brought back again. This experience earned me a lesson.

That's it for my first review. What are your thoughts? I am a horrible reviewer, I know, but I will do better in the future. Thank you for reading!!!

[artiemoonqueen]

Baby

By: Monica Lebron

I was part of a family that had very few pets. We had a turtle that was always there since I can remember but was never...never named. We had doves that my dad once built a coop next to our garage. We would have them in the house as they would sit on our shoulders and often lay unfertilized eggs everywhere. My brother and I were definitely too young to take care of doves. One perished from a night in said coop by a predator, the other was wounded and healed inside the house. We somehow...crushed this one during one of our rough housing. I know I know, we are heathens and should be sent to Peta jail but we were children. Being only three years apart from one another at ages 8-10, we were wrestling and playing on the couch with a comforter and one thing led to another. Our last friend from a pair seems to have gotten tangled up with us. We were very very mournful I swear to you all. After that, our parents had divorced(not because of the doves) and I was left to entertain myself without any responsibility to a pet. It was another story for my brother and mom but this isn;t about their many adventures with pets. This really isn't about the ‘previous’ pets we had in the past. This story is about Baby. In the year 2018, long before my 28th birthday I had to figure out a living situation.

1)find roommates that I knew

2)find roommates that I didn’t know

3)move back with my dad

4)live on my own

Since I had lived two years with roommates that I knew and some I knew too much. Before that I was living with my father that would sometimes ‘break my soul’. And I was a bit hesitant to move with people that were strangers at that time, I took the opportunity to live on my own for the first time. $650.00 for an apartment that has high ceilings, beautiful lighting that I will admit that I am currently kicking myself that I didn’t take enough selfies. Furniture and decorations of my own taste and pretty chill neighbors, the location was a little out of ways from anyone visiting and just down the hill was a large pharmaceutical company that was the ‘leading biotechnology company that invents life-transforming medicines for people with serious diseases’ in other words, high possibility that they are working on zombie-endulced material that a friend of mine who once worked there, would swear that that wasn’t happening but promise to text me ‘code red’ as a warning to get my ass far away from that place in anything were to happen.

So I was alone finally and I had really fucking felt it. I went through a winter before looking through websites for adopting an adult feline. I had no preference other than friendly, pettable, I pick up and hug when I need it, but independent. Spoilers(with tears coming down my face I was able to find that. Sorry I thought this was going to be easier) Before our paths would tangle as the dove with my brother and I’s wrestling match, I first looked on the local humane society website to look for potential companions. While I knew I wanted an older cat because of less time training and the idea of giving an older cat a better life, I saw a green eye, black cat with the christen name ‘Monica’. Now if you want to take this moment to go back to the top of this tale and look at the author’s name, I too am named ‘Monica’. What kinda psycho names a cat with a human name like ‘Monica’? I’ve heard names like Sprinkles, Scooby, Donut, Ringo, Chucky, and just about any reference to a greek god/goddess or dessert. Who was the previous owner that watched too many episodes of ‘Friends’ that decided to name a kitten Monica? I quietly laughed in my lonely one bed-room and moved along the website until the next day, on May 21, 2018. A week before my 28th birthday, my little cousin and I drove our way to the adoption center to look at cats that I had no idea whether I would go through with it or not.

“There’s a cat there named Monica?” my cousin had asked after I told her the musing I did the night before.

“ Yeah, she was cute but I can’t take her! I’d look insane.”

“ You don’t know Monica, maybe she is the one.”

“ Hell fucking no.”

We got out of the car and walked in. The front desk had a box of kittens that needed to be processed in. Their mewls were delightful to hear but were too young to be adopted out. I had signed in and asked ‘what’s your most friendliest outgoing cat here right now?’ The person attending us was quick to say all the cats were great but in her time there she had gotten to like a cat named...Monica. I could feel my cousin's smirking gaze on me. I was not going to subject myself to ridicule for having a cat with my same namesake thank you very much. There were many potential companions to see anyway. Some very old and very young. One with just an eye that I was close to choosing and others with large ears that reminded me of season 1 of ‘Girls’ Adam Sackler. But in the room with both a ‘mr and mrs. Incredible’ was also the notable cat named Monica. Let me tell you a little about the cat that will soon be renamed ‘Baby’. She knew how to get ya’ to want her affection. She knew that being present, unafraid. In the open, fluffy with hints of grey and a rich reddish brown coat along the black, open wide green eyes and a meow that was certain. She was her own saleswoman. In a true cliche, I was ‘hook, line and sinker’.

After $90.00 in cash, in a cardboard ‘cat carrier’ and her meowing away, I took a female, domestic longhair, black, eye color that was the color green. Birth Date 10/2009, formerly named ‘Monica’ home. Our first week, I thought she wanted to get close to me at night so when I awoke to a bat that brushed across my face and not her, that was fun. Eleven shots and two weeks of follow up maintenance shots for rabies, we had gotten familiar to one another. I would feed her half a can of wet food at 5:30 am before my morning shift at my part time job at the dmv and feed her the rest at night after my shift from my salon job. She lay on her back sometimes when we were both in the living room while I enjoyed binging on tv. And meow when I say ‘what?’ when we would eye at each-other. She will follow me to a basement apartment that I shared with my close friend David. We call her ‘pizza’ baby because of the time she climbed alongside the back of the couch while we were eating pizza from Pizzaroni. I felt a tug on my left arm that was holding up my cheese slice. When I looked, she was leaning far to reach my pizza to eat it. Not a successful attempt that time but she will try again. She constantly wanted the attention of David to which he would gladly and promptly pet her while she purred and then quickly turned around to bit his hand away. He always gave her the attention though. For that I am grateful for David. You made sure she ate and loved. You affectionately talk about her to your parents on your long distance phone calls with them and tell your two ideal brunch buddies about your time with Baby. You were the best coparent for her when I would leave for a week long trip to Europe or weekends away to work conventions. She loved you. You had to know that, and you Mike. She loved you too. But she didn’t love the dogs that would shit all over the backyard on the walkway to the trash. Those assholes.

Her next adventure with a month long excursion to my dad’s house before the final move together. While I worked my last few weeks at the salon to save for the time that I would become a true ‘City’ woman. She would find ways to break into my dad's room to lay on the middle of his bed and sleep. His heater would be right in her direction, while we sat unknowing in his recliner in front of his tv. He didn't want to like her. I know this. But who could meet a cat like Baby and not love her. Who would not love seeing a black cat go on her hind legs to look out the window that you have looked through to see the ongoings of the gentleman club next door. Yes, from grades eighth to age 26 I had lived in an apartment that was a stone throw away from a gentleman’s club that late at night, my dad would wake me up to see out the window and watch as the patrons would take pictures of topless dancers on the sign of the establishment before a game of ‘catch me if you can’ through the usual busy main street formerly known as The Bowery before 1867 however that should be left for another drawn out tale. Baby will have a final destination and despite her short time here, my dream of her sleeping peacefully near me while I lay on my bed on a raining day did come to fruition. Super Bowl LIV, February 2, 2019. Both my birth mother and I are hungover from separate nights from each other. She picks up my stuff, Baby and I. And we head to my current apartment in Brooklyn, New York. A dream that I have had besides the many others that will be done and accomplished, I swear. Baby is free to roam the car but she opts to explore little and sleeps most of the way to hear and then to Long Beach for two nights of rest. She walks around like the fearless cat that she is in any space she is in. Never cowers. Never shows fear or intimidation. She is fucking awesome in all her glory and we live together here for another six months until she seems to not to be herself.

As I live in a time of fear for my health during a pandemic, I don’t realize that Baby could be going through a decrease of quality of life with some kind of kidney failure. It was all too quick the deterioration in her appearance and behavior. I was quick to get her to a vet but the results showed more than we had thought and I had to bring her to an emergency vet. They were so kind but when the doctor told me the treatment that would be done to her, I agreed to then going to reception to find out that I would even have enough money to keep her there for a day of treatment. I paid for blood work, exam fees and medicine just to try and figure a way and she seemed to perk up again and walk her way to her favorite rooms to look out the windows or spy on us watching another extructating episode of White Lines. But she wouldn’t eat. For almost three weeks she wouldn’t eat and I had to force feed her food but she didn't want it. I would just get frustrated and I’m sure she was frustrated with me but why wouldn’t she just eat and take the medicine and be like another girls cat that has had kidney failure for years but the cat was still going? Why?

I knew what was going to happen if I made another appointment. I knew and I didn’t want to know. I just had to make the appointment because what if? What if, despite the week before she was back to her ‘old self’ she got even worse the following week, and couldn’t even walk in a straight line. What if her constant sleeping was just her trying to heal herself? What if I bring her one more time and they have a better option that I can afford and I can bring her home and she could lay right beside me on the bed like she use to and look at me with her beautiful green giant eyes that a kid once said were evil eyes but your are dumb kid, really dumb. What if? That’s not how it goes though. We know in our souls when it’s time to say that horrible and final goodbye. So we push through, kiss them more and hold them close and bring them to the vet. We will wait and listen with tears already shed for the answer we didn’t want. The answer that didn’t fit with the what ifs. And you try to say your goodbye while uttering so many I’m so sorry. This isn’t a mom in hospice or a phone call from the police saying your sibling has passed. It’s nothing close to seeing the numbers of people dying from a virus or you dad getting in an accident and obtaining horrible injuries. Those pains are harsh, and grasping air. Those pains affect the heart, and brain for the rest of your life. Baby is like one in a million pets that people have lost. There will be millions of pets to come and go after my time here. However Baby was mine for a short time, but mine. I love her. I miss her. I feel her but I know she can never be here with me again. Feeling her not in the room with us but still having her body left was eerie. She made me happy, and loved like a familiar to its owner. Her snores by my head will be missed. Her purrs and weight on my chest. Her constant knots in her long hair. Her allowances of my kisses on her head. Goodbye Monica, Goodbye Baby.

END