#opposite: sebastian | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

velvetlilith777 · 2 months ago

Text

It's Too Late To Turn Back Now...

Sebastian x Reader

Author's Note: It's finally finished! Once I had the idea for this I couldn't get it out of my head and had to give it to you guys, too. This is my first attempt at writing anything at all since high school, but the plot is cute I think? If you have feedback please be gentle lmao <3

Also, so sorry the reader is fem identifying in this! I'm hoping to write more gender neutral fics in the future once I feel more confident in my writing.

Synopsis: Sebastian had been your best friend for a couple of years now, but that's all it was. But if that were true, why did everyone else get a different impression?

Inspired by this post by @creativepromptsforwriting! 🖤

Divider by @bunnysrph! 🖤

CW: fem identifying reader (nothing super descriptive but she/her pronouns used), swearing, the concept of sex is mentioned exactly once passively, one instance of name calling, terrible grammar and sentence structure

Word Count: 10.6k

The autumn air was crisp and light as it breezed through your sweater. Making your way through a crowded main street in the heart of Zuzu city proved to be difficult even by yourself, but today you had others to keep safe and sound.

This was the first trip you'd been able to take to the city in what felt like forever. Having been way too busy with your farm and the order load from Lewis' needs for the valley's various festivals to even dream of making the trek back to the bustling streets you once called home. It was hard enough to carve out time to hear the new songs your best friends had finished for their newly successful band, or make it to the weekly game nights you had become so fond of. Your absence had left a noticeable empty feeling in your group, but your friends understood. Often grateful for the times you did make it to the usual hang out spots or managed to say a quick hi to them while you were out running off to your next obligation. But with the Stardew Valley Fair behind you, your busy season was rapidly winding down as the bitter months approached. There was only a handful of crops left working towards harvest, and your animals had been staying outside as much as possible since these would be the last days before they were shut in from the cold until spring came back around. All of this meant your morning chores were finally able to be completed well before the bus out of town opened for the day, allowing a much needed trip with your friends to the city to become a reality.

Though, it wasn't long into the bus ride before you remembered that hanging with your besties wasn't always a picture of stress relief.

When boarding the bus, you followed the trio to the back where you usually sat to be as secluded as possible. You had a decent relationship with Pam, but she was known to let things slip at the saloon if Gus failed to cut her off soon enough. The last thing anyone needed was Robin or Lewis knowing some of the things you had discussed.

There were barely enough people in the entirety of Pelican Town to fill the bus up, so on these trips each of you got a row to yourselves. You took your usual positions, Sam and Abby sat on the left side while you and Sebastian sat on the right. Within minutes of the bus moving, you realized there was a riff Sebastian had forgotten to tell you about. What you had missed was that Sam had slipped and spoiled the ending of the game Abby had been grinding out for months the night prior. Abby - who was justifiably upset - got immediate revenge by telling him the entire plot of the current season of the show you'd all been watching together. Sam had a tendency to fall asleep 15 minutes in and had yet to catch up, so you and Sebastian had been working overtime to not discuss anything he didn't know yet. So much for that.

As the jabs began to get more serious, you turned around to Sebastian with a puzzled look on your face. Seb shot back a look that said "shit, sorry! I forgot." He then began filling you in over text. He recapped and told you that even though they were even in terms of initial offense, they hadn't stopped there and had been bickering ever since. Dramatically, you rolled your eyes rolled into the back of your head, which caused him to let out a small chuckle. This wasn't the first or even hundredth time the two of you had been on the outside of their arguments, and neither one of them liked to stop until they'd had the last word.

Though the fights weren't missed, you missed your friends. It was just nice to be around them again even as your annoyance grew. There was no way you and Sebastian would be able to hear each other over the existing volume of shouting and the old bus engine, so you opted to talk over text while sending each other silent looks reacting to what you had just sent or read.

Out of the group, you two had the hardest time physically seeing each other, but that didn't mean you weren't constantly talking. You saw Abby the most, seeing how often you were at Pierre's for seeds (or emergency fertilizer for the flowers you were sure you had 3 more days to plant) throughout the busy season. Sam also was pretty easy to make quick small talk with, bumping into him practicing kick flips or playing with Vincent while you hurried into Cindersap Forest to harvest the wood you always seemed to be out of. While you were in the mountains pretty frequently on a mission in the mines, Sebastian was a programmer with deadlines just as strict as yours. Often locked in his basement typing away in a language that looked so foreign to you. Sometimes you'd get lucky and see him on a smoke break, which both of you enjoyed, but usually you tried to let him stay focused and caught up with him throughout the day over text. Sending memes or venting about anything and everything whenever one of you managed a spare moment was the norm. He was just someone you could have a consistent and casual stream of dialogue with.

The topics of conversation were small. Seb asking you about your animals, in particular how your void chickens affectionately named Hecate and Malice were doing. He had instantly loved them since their eggs mysteriously showed up at your farm one day. You noticed that he had changed his normal nose ring out for a black stud that glistened a little every time the light caught it. He said he'd been meaning to do it for a while and appreciated that you liked it. Small, comfortable conversation.

That's how it always was with you and Sebastian. Comfortable. It didn't matter how long you went without talking or what you were doing, there was a level of comfort that came with him that you had never felt with anyone else. That's not to say that you felt uneasy with the rest of your friends in Pelican Town. You knew and loved all of your neighbors - well, maybe not always Lewis, but you got along - and Yoba knows you were down to do anything and everything with Abigail and Sam. But something about the way you relaxed whenever Seb was around was different. And if you didn't know any better, you'd say he felt similarly by the way his shoulders visibly loosened when you made your way into the saloon on busy Friday nights.

The ride to Zuzu city wasn't terribly long, but it was long enough for the incessant squabbling from two of your friends to give you a headache. While Sam and Abby's fights were never actually harmful or that serious, they had a tendency to act like siblings and continually yap nonsense at each other. At some point during the ride the arguing had escalated to Sam having his ear yanked by Abby, which lead you to where you were now. Strolling through the bustling crowds of the city, arm linked with Abby's to keep her heading in the right direction. Sebastian had the same job with Sam hooked to his arm. They were still too focused on one upping the other person to safely keep up with you and avoid getting lost. You and Sebastian also served as a buffer between them which had done very little to get them to stop, but at least poor Sam's ear was safe.

After many crosswalks and a few honks from impatient taxi drivers, you could finally see your main destination in the distance. You and the much taller emo shared a sigh of relief and a slight smile over getting everyone there without too much trouble.

The plan was to visit all of your favorite store in the valley, Electric Park Comics and get dinner afterwards. The store was more of a hobby store in its current era than just a place to grab comics, making it a hit amongst your group. There was something for everyone, the comics in the front being what initially drew Sebastian into the shop on one of his late night rides a few summers ago. He'd also grown fond of the back left corner where they kept old copies of games from consoles past, even occasionally getting in a good condition console for resale from someone who was clearing out an attic. He didn't even realize that section was there until the first time he brought Sam, who found it instantly. The pair had made it a monthly occurrence to make the trip to see what new releases the store had in, until one night they decided to swing by with you and Abby after a successful bar show for Goblin Destroyer. They didn't even have a chance to tell you both that you could head to a store nearby instead of having to wait on them before you were squealing over a Sanrio display they'd never taken note of. The boys had also lost the pair of you after browsing because you'd managed to find a staircase leading to the second floor which housed an in depth occult assortment. After that night, it became a group routine to escape the stress and expectations that weigh on each of you in Pelican Town by heading to that hidden downtown shop and nerding out together.

Approaching the building, you shook Abby's arm and pointed excitedly. The front was decorated carefully with jack-o-lanterns and plastic skeleton statues. Paper cats arching their backs and glittery orange and black garland lined the display windows inside. The festive exhibit and your excitement were enough to get Abby's attention away from Sam's quips. The two of you started excitedly muttering and gasping over how excited you were for the upcoming holiday, and how thoughtful the owner's work was. Sebastian let out an affectionate laugh at the commotion you two were causing. He remembered when you first moved into the farmhouse that autumn was something you and Abby hit it off over immediately. It's was both of your favorite season and you were frequently giddy over anything to do with Spirit's Eve.

Sam was looking away, irritated that Abby didn't care to respond to his last cleverly delivered jab when Sebastian nudged him.

"Hey, what was that for?" Sam muttered under his breath.

"Dude, I know you're upset. But could you maybe just drop this stupid argument for now?" Sebastian said in a hushed tone, holding the blonde back a couple of paces from you. "We haven't been here since the Flower Dance as a group. I'd like to have a good time instead of you guys bitching about something that doesn't matter anymore."

Sam looked around the street and then over as you and the friend he was just insulting minutes earlier. You were still too busy discussing costume ideas and who would get scared in the maze to notice any of this happening. He sighed, realizing how hard it had been to actually get together over the summer despite having made so many plans. How excited each of you were that this had really made it out of the group chat. A slight twinge of embarrassment washed over him.

"Yeah, I guess you're right dude. Abby and I can't take back ruining things for each other but I guess we shouldn't ruin this too." Sam pinched the bridge of his nose realizing he'd also given himself a slight headache the last couple of hours. "I'm sorry."

"It's all good. This is just as much on Abby as it is you. She's just successfully distracted right now" Sebastian laughed.

The boys looked over at the two of you scheming ways to get Marnie to let Jas go in the maze with you this year and shook their heads knowingly at each other.

"Let's go in before they figure out a way to actually make that happen and I have to hear Vince cry about it" Sam chuckled.

He swung the door open. The little bell snapped you and Abby out of your festive ramble and both of the boys faked a gentlemanly usher for you two to go in first.

You walked into the shop and waived hi to the owner Henry as you shook off the chill from the outside.

"Long time since I've seen you miss" Henry smiled at you.

You let out a tired laugh. "Yeah, the farm has kept me plenty busy this year. Knowing the ropes made me too confident and I narrowly avoided biting off more than I could chew."

"Well you made it through. Sounds like you have a reason to celebrate." He let out a hearty chuckle. It was warm and reminded you of your grandpa's years ago.

"I sure do!" you beamed back at him.

You made your way over to the Sanrio section to debate which plushy of your favorite character you wanted to add you your collection this time. Sebastian came over to join you briefly before heading over to the comic aisles that would have his attention for the better part of the next hour.

"Hey, they've got new stickers this time." He motioned to a colorful assortment of little animals is various poses. "We should get matching ones for our helmets."

As you began walking over to look over the selection, the smile on your face turned into a frown. You realized in the whirlwind of the summer you'd forgotten all about the helmet that Sebastian had ordered you for when you accompanied him on his bike. His spare was cheap and clunky, he wanted you to have one a little nicer on the nights you were his backpack.

"Seb, shit I'm so sorry. I forgot you'd done that. I've been meaning to ride with you I promise it's just-"

He cut off your panic with a smile and a finger to your lips. "It's okay, it's not like it was running for a month anyways" he snorted at his own misfortune. "What do you think about these?"

He held up a pair of stickers, one being your favorite sanrio character and his being Badtz-Maru giving off some serious side eye.

"Those are perfect" you giggled at his choice, knowing how often you'd seen him give that same look to everyone you knew in town. "But I also like these" you showed him two carefully chosen frog stickers, both funky little guys. One had a knife with a mildly threatening aura and the other had a bow.

"Dude I didn't even see those!" His face lit up at the sight of his favorite animals in silly situations.

"So these ones then?"

"Nah, let's get both" he smirked as he gently ruffled your hair. "As long as I get the one with the knife."

"Oh, I was thinking you needed the pretty little princess frog myself" you smirked back at him.

From across the room Henry chuckled "she's right you know, it suits you."

Sebastian cocked an eyebrow his way. You'd forgotten he still hadn't let off the tough guy exterior around the shop's owner yet, giving off the same reserved energy he gave everyone outside of your group and Robin.

"I'm only teasing, kid. She'd fist fight you over the one with the bow and we both know it." Henry winked, responding to Sebastian's silent questioning.

You giggled at the interaction which caused him to raise an eyebrow back at you in retort.

"Hold on to these, will ya?" You nodded, Sebastian handed the Sanrio pair in his hand to you and headed over to the comic aisles to look at the newest editions.

Your attention turned back to the plushies you were initially interested in. After mulling over the options, you landed on one holding a little pumpkin, perfect for the season.

Heading upstairs to join Abigail in your shared love for the occult, you heard a snicker that you knew meant she was up to no good.

"Abs?" you called out reaching the top of the steps.

"Here! Come help me with something" she ushered by a grand shelf on the far wall.

Glancing around at the intricately designed candles used for different rituals and practices, you were enamored with the possibilities until Abigail spoke up.

"Which of these candles do you think I could trick Sam into thinking I'm putting a curse on him with?"

"Abs, you know that's not how that works" you let out an exasperated laugh.

"Of course I do, we practice together" she rolled her eyes. "But you know who doesn't? Sheltered little Sam."

Raising an eyebrow, you reminded her "just because Jodi is strict doesn't mean he's sheltered." It was true that Jodi didn't let Sam do a lot when he was younger, but Sam had done a lot of catching up in recent years, especially with you three as his friends.

"I know that but spiritual stuff still freaks him out. You've heard him muttering to Yoba when we play certain games. He hasn't shook all of what her and Kent drove into him."

And it was true. He wasn't good for anymore than 3 rounds of Phasmophobia before he needed a break and he refused to be the one to use the spirit box even if he was the only one left alive. But you still weren't sure that a candle would be enough to trick him.

"I don't know Abs. Maybe you should drop this fight? You already got even with him by ruining season 3. Besides, it's still just a candle."

"Yeah I could, but he threw hundreds of hours of my time down the drain with that spoiler and called my dad a 'rat faced bitch.' Which was clever but I'm the only one who can say that stuff about him!" she whined.

"Listen, you do what you're gonna do, but I won't help you" you put your hands up in surrender. "I just want a nice time with you guys before I have to finish out the rest of the growing season."

Hoping your words had some effect, you went to take a look at the crystal display to see if there was anything you couldn't find in the mines back home. Mostly pretty common stuff, but there was a particularly beautiful carnelian necklace that caught your eye so you decided to grab that as well.

Satisfied with your choices, you left back downstairs to see if the guys had found anything worthwhile. Not to your surprise, Sebastian had each new release of his favorite series in his arms and a new Solarian Chronicles notebook to run his campaigns out of. Sam was rambling on about a new album to him with a new game and a figurine of his favorite character from the last series you all played together in hand.

"Successful haul?" giggling as you cut Sam off from his speech while you motioned at Sebastian's armful of comics.

"S'pose. Wasn't planning on grabbing this much but I missed some updates I guess" he shrugged.

Turning to Sam, you asked him about the game he'd chosen.

"They didn't have the game I hoped for, but I wasn't holding my breath cause it's a popular release" the blond explained. "But the did have this one. I don't really know much about it, but Vince has been yapping about it for a while now. Figured I'd pick it up and it would give me a reminder to spend more time with him. Kinda been slacking on my older brother duties between the band and Joja lately." He let out a small sigh. Everyone knew how much his family meant to him, but he'd been having a hard time finding a new balance between his adult life and making time for the people he loved.

"That's really sweet, Sam. He's gonna love it!" You smiled warmly and nudged him in the arm.

"I thought so too" He grinned a smile of relief at you. "Oh, has anyone seen Abby?"

"She was upstairs still deciding on what she wanted when I came down here. I'm sure she won't be much long-"

You were interrupted by Sebastian grabbing the necklace you had picked earlier from your hand. While he surveyed it, Sam let you know he was going to check around and see if Abby was ready to head out yet.

"Which one is this?" the programmer looked inquisitively at you.

"Carnelian. It helps with courage and energy. Positive life choices and such. I have one on my vanity already but I thought it might be nice to keep one on me" you explained.

"I like it" he smiled and held it up near your face. "Makes your eyes a little brighter."

You grinned up at him, but the moment was cut off when you heard yelling from the back of the building. It was a panicked Sam yelling at what you knew was Abby to "get the fuck away from me!" You shared a tired look, knowing you'd have to step in.

"Un-fucking-believable" Sebastian muttered under his breath. The two of you followed Sam's shouts of terror through the maze of inventory. When you finally found him behind a tall shelf holding old Nintendo 64 games you grabbed his arm in an attempt to get him to calm down.

"Sam, what's going on?"

"THAT is what's going on!" He pointed to the wall where Abigail was rounding a corner, hooded by a cloak she'd managed to find somewhere and holding a black and red candle covered in pentacles. Tufts of purple hair were half covering her face while she muttered completely made up words in a hushed tone. She completed the bit by contorting her face in odd ways.

"Abby, knock it off" Sebastian huffed.

The drummer kept coming closer, causing Sam's panic to increase again. "Stop cursing me bro this isn't funny!"

"She's not cursing you, don't worry" Sebastian shook his head.

"Then why is she muttering shit holding that demonic candle? Sounds like a curse to me!"

Abby was feet away from the three of you now. You reached out and snatched the candle from her hands before she realized what was happening, eliciting and whiny "hey" from her.

"No she's not." you cut in reassuring the blond. "You can't curse someone with just a candle. Even if that was her intention, these are pentacles, not pentagrams. They literally just signify the elements. Seb's right."

"Well he wasn't right about me dropping our argument earlier. I should've known Abby would do something like this" Sam grumbled back.

"I did get him to stop" Sebastian looked at you irritated.

"What like this is my fault?! I told her not to do it and to chill out" you bristled at him. "She's the one that decided to find a cloak and commit."

"Well you could've been more effective is all I'm saying."

"Abby is grown and I'm not her mother." You felt your patience for this situation growing thin. "I wasn't even there when this shit started."

Abby spoke up before either of you had the chance to make this worse. "Guys, I'm sorry. I should've listened and stopped when we were even but he's just so fun to torment. Especially when he's ruined something for me."

"Abby for the hundredth time I didn't mean to." Sam cut in. "You know how I am, I forget who's played and seen what. I don't even remember to call my grandma, dude."

"Hey, I said I was sorry for not dropping it, okay? Are we good now?" she huffed.

Sam didn't look fully satisfied with her "apology" but thought better than to keep this going. "Sure, fine I guess. But only if dinner is on you for fake cursing me or whatever."

"Whatever, I guess that's fair."

With that, you all silently agreed to go pay for your things and head out. As you walked up to the register and sat your things down, you caught a mischievous glint in Henry's eye.

"You buying this necklace, miss?"

"Yeah, I need the energy these days" you joked.

"Oh I mean I just thought it's such a pretty piece, shouldn't your boyfriend be buying it for you?" he glanced at you with a smirk dancing across his lips.

"Boyfriend?! I don't have a boyfriend." The owner's statement had caught you so off guard that you were fighting not to stumble over your words. You turned around to your trio of friends to find them looking just as confused as you were.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" You turned your attention back to Henry, who was clearly a little flustered himself now. "I didn't mean - I just thought with the matching stickers and the way you guys look at each other. Not to mention you were just fighting like an old married couple in the back..." he trailed off before going back to ringing up your items.

Then it hit you. He meant Sebastian. He thought you and your best friend were a couple? You turned back to the group again to read everyone's faces. Sebastian was bright red and just as shocked as you were. However, the other two looked like they understood what he was saying. Only looking at each other for confirmation, they wouldn't look at either of you two.

You paid for your things and said thank you to Henry who was still a little embarrassed at his assumption. He eased up a little when you reassured him you'd see him much sooner this time as winter was coming up.

The four of you waved goodbye to the shopkeeper and headed back out into the chill of autumn. As your group began to navigate the streets in search of food, no one spoke. The lineup was in direct contrast to when you had arrived earlier, with Sebastian and yourself on the outside this time using Abby and Sam as a buffer for your embarrassment.

Thoughts were swirling around your head like the leaves in the city air. Why would he assume you were dating Sebastian? The comment about the way you look at each other really stuck out to you. And why wouldn't Sam and Abby acknowledge you once he elaborated? Because you and Seb were so close as friends, you'd never allowed yourself to even wonder if you liked him and you were more than sure he hadn't either. Surely this whole situation was just a one off case of Henry misreading your group, right?

After what felt like hours but in reality was maybe 10 minutes, Sam was the first to break the silence. "So we never decided where to go for dinner - any thoughts?" He cleared his throat like he was almost as uncomfortable as you and Sebastian were.

"That new burger place just opened this weekend? But that probably means it's packed" Abby responded. "We could always just stick to tradition and grab some Chinese?"

"Works for me!" Sam smiled.

At least a minute passed before he spoke again.

"What about you guys?"

You were shaken out of your trance when you felt an elbow lightly nudge you and realized the blonde was peering down at you.

"What? Oh sorry, yeah, that sounds good to me."

It came out in a stutter but you smiled back at him to try and reassure him you were fine. Sam knew you better than that, but he smiled back and turned his attention towards the only person who looked more uncomfortable than you did.

"Seb? You here?"

"Ye-yeah that's fine." he mumbled.

"Then it's settled. Chinese it is" Abby grinned.

The rest of the walk was just as quiet from Sebastian and yourself as it had been before the question of dinner was asked. Abby and Sam had filled the silence by talking about the latest gossip on Marnie and Lewis' failed attempts at a hidden relationship. Occasionally you'd giggle at some remark one of them made about the mayor and his commitment issues, but that was all you could manage.

The owner of the restaurant you usually frequented on these trips to the city greeted you with a smile. He did most of the cooking so you'd never actually spoken to him, but he recognized your group and had always been kind. You all smiled and waved to him before heading to take a seat at an empty table. The warmth of the restaurant and the aroma from the kitchen seemed to lighten everyone up, but there was still a twinge of tension in the air. Instead of your usual seating arrangement, you found yourself sitting next to Sam and across from Abby. It was a subconscious decision from everybody, but one everyone noticed. After you'd made your final decisions on your meals, everyone went right back to the usual dynamics.

"I'm paying, did you really need to order the damn menu?" Abby let out a laugh of disbelief at the amount of food the staff was placing in front of Sam.

"Maybe, but it's a small price to pay for what may or may not happen to my bloodline in the future" the guitarist cracked back with a mouthful of food.

Sebastian snorted a laugh at his remark which was the loudest he'd been in a while. While also letting out a giggle, your eyes locked for the first time since the comic shop. He gave you a half smile while a light wash of red colored his cheeks. He was fidgeting with his rings like he would do in most uncomfortable social settings, but not usually with your group. It was hard not to comfort him but you were well aware that you were the reason, so instead you smiled back and turned back to Sam. Not ideal, but it felt a little comforting to know he was in the same boat you were.

Conversation flowed easier after that. Sam insisted that he was getting closer to beating Sebastian at pool, which was denied by everyone else. Abigail ranted about her latest fight with her dad for going out to the Wizard's tower again. Goblin Destroyer had quite a few small shows they were asked to perform at throughout the winter, so you made sure to write those dates into your phone calendar. You had to miss their most recent show because it was your last chance to plant a full pumpkin harvest for Spirit's Eve and you'd been beating yourself up for it. Maybe the worst thing Abigail could've done was asked you if you wanted to hear the fun bits from that night, but you unknowingly said yes thinking you'd just hear about how much the crowd loved the band or the drunk shenanigans of a 40 year old man.

"....Anyway, after the final song I started taking apart my drum kit. I look over and the guys are sitting on the side of the stage and these two girls are almost throwing themselves at them" Abby snickered between bites of food. "They were so cool and pretty I almost warned them about the 45 minutes I was stuck listening to them argue about a plot point in their new Solarian Chronicles campaign on the bus! But then they all went somewhere together so I just kept packing up."

You felt all of the color drain from your face at the emphasis on 'somewhere together,' but you weren't sure why. If they really were so cool and pretty that Abby mentioned it - and Seb went with them. Fuck. That's your best friend. You should be happy for him! Why aren't you happy for him? Why is your stomach in knots?

As confusion and shame bounced in your head, you'd made yourself smaller and started picking at the skin on your fingers. Eyes focused on your hands twisting in your lap.

You didn't realize it, but Abby had been staring at you intensely for a minute.

"Alright. We gotta talk about it."

You peered up through your lashes, now aware that the whole table had been silent too.

"Talk about what?" Your voice came out sincere but barely above a whisper.

"This! Whatever is going on between you two" her eyes flicked back and forth between you and the emo on her side.

Sebastian huffed in annoyance. He was bouncing his leg and staring at the ceiling like he'd rather be anywhere else right now.

"What are you talking about? Nothing is going on" you insisted.

"Bullshit!" she immediately yelled, like she'd been waiting on you to say those exact words.

"Abby, I told you, I don't think they know" the guitarist cut in with a much more gentle tone.

"Don't know what?"

Abby scoffed at your question. You narrowed your eyes at her before turning your attention back.

"Sam, what don't I know?"

The blond looked at Sebastian who was still ignoring everyone's gaze, then turned to you and gave you a pitying side smile. "Henry isn't the first person to assume you two are together."

"Whaaat d'you mean?" Your eyes immediately fixed on Sebastian. His leg bounced even more aggressively as he shot you a look that read 'I don't fucking know either.'

Your eyes went back to Sam's as he spoke. "The other day, I stocking produce at work. Pam was grumbling while rummaging through the pairs I had just stacked" he sighed. "Anyway, so I go over to start fixing them when she's done and she turns to me and starts asking me like what Seb managed to do to get a pretty girl like that? I was lost bro. But then she started in about seeing him in a city and not out with the cows or whatever and I realized she meant you." An awkward laugh left his lips as he looked down at the table for a second. "But I immediately told her that we're all just a big group of friends! Then she mumbled something about me not having two pennies to clink around in my head and walked off."

"What does Pam know? I can't remember the last time the Saloon smelled as strong of beer as she does on a Wednesday morning" the emo puffed from his seat.

"Pam might be a drunk but the rest of Pelican town isn't" Abby sneered at him. "My mom said something about it the other day. Evidently she got the idea from the dance of the moonlight jellies when you two were sitting on the dock resting your heads on each other. Couldn't believe it when I told her you guys were just friends."

"My mom too. She won't ask me how you are anymore unless she's heard you out front while I'm out. She waits for Seb to come over because he always knows more than I do. Heard her muttering something about 'young love' to dad about it the other day."

Your eyes were bulging out of your skull at this point. "Your mom? I see her almost daily on my errands and she's never said anything?"

"Well she figured she'd let you guys talk about it in time or something I'm not sure. Dad came home and thought it was crazy Seb has a girl that looks at him like that and he hasn't 'wifed her up yet.' He dropped it though cause mom yelled at him." Sam awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

"I don't look at him like anything?! Seb's just my best friend and your parents are crazy" a high pitched laugh left your voice as you spoke.

"Yeah, that may be true," Abby interjected, "but Leah isn't. She came into the store when I was working the other day and asked me if she'd missed something. I guess he was brought up while you guys were on the dock in the forest and the way you talked about him... she just assumed" she shrugged.

You felt like you were in an alternate reality. Here you were, at dinner with your closest friends being told that the entire town thinks you're dating one of them. Was this all a dream? Did the spaghetti you grabbed from Gus last night not agree with you? A chuckle of disbelief slipped past your lips.

"Okay. Is there anything else? Another case of delusion you can think of?" Your eyes bounced between your friends who were making uncomfortable eye contact.

"Yeah." Sam coughed. "I wasn't sure I was gonna say this but, since neither one of you have taken this well I guess I should." He paused, flicking the guitar pick on his necklace finding the words.

"Spit it out, Samson" Sebastian grunted.

"Okay, okay. You know how Vince has started calling you Uncle to piss you off because he's convinced we're old?"

Sebastian nodded, not seeing where this was heading.

"He asked me on Monday if when you got married if he should start calling her aunt because of the joke, or if that was too mean because of how nice she is to him."

Sebastian stared so hard at Sam that he could've put holes through the poor guy.

"Oh my god" was all you could say. You could feel actual panic sinking into your chest with all of this information. Everyone in the valley really assumed you were dating and you'd never thought of him that way. What were you doing? Were you crazy? Were they crazy? Could you even keep a relationship with him after this knowing that your friendship had been so abnormal it fooled the people who were around you everyday?

Your friends broke the silence again.

"It's not just Henry and it's not that anyone else is wrong" Sam stated.

"Yeah. I mean, can you guys really not see that you act as if you're in a relationship? Like, minus the title and the kissing and fucking, you're there already" Abby let out a nervous laugh.

You made eye contact with them both and could tell she was sincere. They both were. Your friends agreed with everyone else.

Appetite now fully gone, you started collecting your things in any attempt to leave this situation. Sebastian had the same idea and went to the register to go pay for his meal. You dug in your purse in a frenzy to find your wallet so that you could leave a tip and head up front to pay.

"Hey, we didn't mean to upset you." A worried tone coated Sam's words.

"I know you didn't, but what the fuck did you think would happen? I've never thought of Seb that way and I know he hasn't thought of me like that either. And to find out it's the whole valley..." your panic was leading to tears. It wasn't sadness, it was the most overwhelmed and confused you'd ever been.

Finally, you opened your wallet only to realize you didn't have the right bills for an efficient tip. In an attempt to get as far away from tonight as possible, you whispered 'fuck it' to yourself and left what was the equivalent of a 60% tip. You had geodes to open tomorrow so it would be fine. You stood up abruptly, leaving Abby and Sam to murmur amongst themselves at the mess they caused and marched to the register.

Sebastian was standing there still when you made your way over. Tears were beginning to fall silently down your face despite your best efforts to hold them back. The anger you felt at yourself for crying right then only seemed to make it worse. As you approached the staff member with your card in hand, the programmer reached his hand out and place it along your lower back in any attempt to comfort you and pull you in.

"I already paid for us" he mumbled in your ear. "Let's take a breather before they catch up."

You both gave a half hearted smile to the owner as Sebastian whisked you out of the door. Inhaling deeply, the air was sharp in your lungs. Winter wasn't far off and the chill reflected that.

Standing silently side by side, you both took in the city lights and the night time bustle while trying to calm yourselves. Fresh air helping to ease your nausea and lower your heart rate a bit. You hadn't planned on being out this late, your sweater was no match for the climate. Noticing you folding your arms over in an attempt to block out the cold, Sebastian took off his leather jacket and tapped on your shoulders to let him put it on you. You obliged. Normally, you would've argued, insisting that he needed it more. But normally, that was met with him reminding you he had a hoodie and a long sleeve shirt on underneath it, which had been the case every cold outing since your first fall in the valley. He knew you'd miscalculate and he wasn't about to let you freeze.

Once the jacket was secure on your shoulders he resumed his place beside you. In sync, you both looked each other in the eyes. Your tears had slowed but were still falling quietly down your cheeks. Otherwise you were expressionless. So was he. Surveying each other didn't help because neither of you were allowing yourself to be read. All you two had was the assumption that the other's brain was running just as fast as yours was. You took each other in silently until you heard the restaurant door open. You knew it was Abigail and Sam finally coming out to head home, but you held each other's eye for a moment longer. Now that the duo had met up with you, you left for the bus.

Everyone stayed tongue tied on the trek home. After climbing on the bus, you slumped down in your seat and turned your overhead light off. The tension was thick and while you couldn't bare to speak, you also hated that your friends weren't. Opting to put your headphones in and listen to your favorite Spotify playlist on the way home to shut out the tension, you shut your eyes and let your mind run through your feelings as the music lulled you.

Something about Sam and Abby agreeing that you two acted like a couple stuck with you. They spent the most time around you and knew both of you more intimately than anyone else ever did. If everyone already say you as a couple, why didn't you? You remembered repeating the phrase "I've never thought of him like that" throughout the night... maybe you should try? Maybe that was the only way to work this out?

Your mind drifted to your favorite moments shared with him.

Days you'd carve out time to play video games with him in his room, he'd reach over and help you stay alive in the first person shooters you were always dreadful at. How he'd chuckle when he saw you accidentally bomb yourself for the 20th time that day and you'd elbow him to stop. You pictured how he always smiled warmly at you when you did that, even though you always followed it with an eye roll.

It was unspoken that within 5 days before a new growing season, you'd be over in his room while he worked. Notebooks, a calendar and your choice of caffeine sprawled out on his floor while you quietly mapped out where each crop, bee box and sprinkler would be most fruitful. Occasionally you'd grumble, stumped on what the best choice was. He'd always look away from his screen, pull you into his lap and ask you to elaborate on the dilemma before helping you through it. Somehow he always chose correctly.

When he did have downtime in between jobs, he'd come over to your farm to help in whatever way he could. It always ended up with him talking to your animals while you worked, but they all were glued to him so you didn't mind. Afterwards you'd sit on the porch and eat dinner together while the sun set. Talking about new dreams or thoughts on philosophy while you soaked up the last of the sun's warmth together. You swear every time that happened a new freckle would appear on him within a few days, but it didn't happen often so you couldn't confirm.

All it took was a text that you were sick, sore or having a bad mental health day for him to pack up his laptop, his mom's pumpkin soup and be knocking at your door. Despite being a recluse, he rarely got sick so he'd always work in your bed or on your couch with you lying against his side. Stopping anytime you needed water, medicine or to be told that everything would be okay and you'd get through it together. You'd watch tv or youtube when he'd finished while he rubbed your back and played with your hair until you fell asleep. He'd never leave until you woke up and he could see that you were better.

Rainy days spent frog hunting. Watching him light up telling you about the different species you could find throughout the valley. Sometimes they'd have distinct markings and you'd see them multiple times so you'd give them names and lore. The rain making you feel like children again, so you'd start play fighting until one of you was in a puddle, giggling and shouting like second graders the whole time. Robin always shaking her head when you inevitably trudged through her house soaking wet, so you'd both started changing back at the farm first.

Or what was maybe your favorite, when he needed his hair dyed. He never got it perfect when he did it alone, and Sam always made a huge mess of it so it wasn't long after you met that he had asked you to help. It was a frequent occurrence because he'd actually rather die than be perceived as a ginger. Whether it was your bathroom or his changed, but the routine stayed the same. You were always wearing his oldest band t -shirts together, you sitting on the sink laser focused on not missing a spot while music blasted. If you wanted your hair done too, he'd of course help you afterwards and go so slowly to make sure it was as perfect as you always did his. It always felt so intimate and you never failed to take note of how much softer and relaxed his features were in that moment than when you were out with others.

Your stomach fluttered but not from nausea this time. It was butterflies. Fuck. Of course it was. How did you not know how you felt about him? Remembering how you'd go out of your way to make him smile every chance you got. His first birthday as your friend, you spent money you didn't have on a sword upgrade to find obsidian because the usual frozen tear simply wouldn't do. The way your heart felt like it was doing a back flip anytime he looked at you, and had even when he asked you "of all places, why would you move here?"

Okay. So you did like him, but that doesn't mean he felt the same way.

You opened your eyes upon feeling the bus come to a halt. You realized you were already back at the bus stop by your farm, guessing that the trip went so quickly because of how hard you'd been thinking. You grabbed your things, stood up and waved a rushed goodbye to your friends before heading home. You hated to leave so coldly but your mind was a whirlwind right now and you had so much to untangle. Sebastian wasn't far behind in leaving for the mountain, which left Abby and Sam to walk each other home and talk about how worried they were for the friendship now that this was out.

Once you'd shut the barns up to keep your animals safe for the night, you unlocked the door to your house and picked up your cat. Burying your face in her fur for comfort helped ground you a little bit. After a couple of kisses, you plopped her down on the couch and kicked off your shoes. Your music was still helping to combat your mind from going haywire, so you opted to keep your headphones in as you padded to your bedroom to change from the cute outfit you'd planned out for two weeks in favor of something more comfortable. Grabbing your comfort hoodie - it was old merch from your favorite artist - and a pair of sweatpants from your dresser, your mind began to drift back to that question you left unanswered as you pulled back into Pelican Town.

Does he feel the same way about me?

You began to replay those favorite moments in your mind again, searching him for clues one way or the other.

As you began to change, you remembered how when he'd help you stay alive in a video game, he was so gentle with you. After he'd succeeded in stopping your demise, his arms always lingered longer than they needed to. Okay. Coincidence.

You headed to the bathroom to brush your hair that was in knots after being out on such a windy day. Thinking back, he'd never complained about you setting up camp in his room to do planning you easily could've done in your own living room? Maybe that was because it operated as body doubling. But he always pulled you into his lap if you needed help. You couldn't think of an excuse for it so you counted it as a point towards reciprocation.

Leaving the bathroom, you made your way into the kitchen to give your cat her nightly treat. As you sat on the floor with her favorite puree in hand, you pondered how many of his off days he had spent helping at your farm. He hated the sun and had no idea what he was doing, but he never complained. Looking at your cat licking away at the treat, you decided that it wasn't you he was coming over for, it was definitely the sweet lives that roamed your property. I mean of course it was, look at this one.

But what about when you were sick? You didn't even know how to begin to write that one off. Maybe just being a good friend? But it was every time you told him something was wrong enough that you could only feed your animals before getting back into bed. Even if he couldn't get out of work, he went through the effort of bringing it with him. Okay, another tally.

By now, the treat was gone and you'd been petting the little lady for a while. You stood up from the floor and began filling your water bottle and grabbing a snack for when you crawled into bed. Frog hunting was easy to discredit, that was just two friends enjoying nature together and being a little silly. Okay, it's 2 to 3 right now.

As you headed to your bed to take your dishes to your nightstand, yours and Seb's favorite song came on your playlist. The one you always scream sang together when it played. You giggled as you remembered dramatically acting out the lyrics in your kitchen while you made sashimi. That was the last time you'd dyed his hair. Setting your water bottle down by your bed, you remembered how the last three times you'd helped him, he kept staring at your lips and making you think you had something in your teeth. Each time you'd discreetly check and you never did, but it was weird enough you noticed it. In the following nights you'd been reading Elliott's second novel before bed and the main character did this before kissing his love interest. He didn't want to kiss you, did he?

You started to climb into bed and follow that thought when you remembered you'd forgotten to take your makeup off. Begrudgingly, you crawled back out and started to head towards the bathroom again. The song was reaching the climax before the bridge that was always your favorite part as walked through the living room towards your destination. Your eyes landed on a doll that you had bought yourself because Jas owned her best friend and she loved coming over and playing pretend with you when you weren't busy. You stopped dead in your tracks as you stared at the toy. It felt like someone had punched you in the gut.

You were immediately taken back to the end of summer. The two of you had spent the evening after work and school twirling in your sundresses in the forest like you were fairies. Jas asked you if you'd help her with her evening animal chores before heading home and you were never one to tell her no unless you had to. While you were brushing one of Marnie's cows, you remember Jas had asked you a question that you now realized you misunderstood. You thought the question came from the fact that Vince was still young and tormented Jas more than he should, but that wasn't the case.

"Do you think when we're older and grown up that Vincent will be my Sebastian?"

She had asked you with such a shy smile you weren't soon how you didn't understand this sooner. Jas was like your little sister, you should've known that she isn't normally shy about anything around you. She was also incredibly observant. This was the tipping point. There was no way this wasn't a fever dream.

Taking off your makeup could wait. You needed to go for a walk.

You threw on your farm boots so any mud from recent rain wasn't something to worry about and hurried out the door.

You began to take the shortcut from the farm to the mountains like usual when your brain was spinning, but then stopped. Realizing if Sebastian was going through half of what you were, he'd be smoking at the lake and he needed his space too. You turned on your heel and decided the beach was where you'd go to figure this out instead.

Your pace was almost a speed walk, itching to sit down and sort through the tangled wires that were whatever the fuck this mess was of a relationship with your best friend.

Finally, you saw sand. Waves crashing down flooded your ears, telling the story of a storm that hadn't yet hit the valley. Careful not to make too much commotion and wake the writer that inhabited the run down cabin, you crept across the small wooden bridge to the secluded beach across a stream. It was pitch black out save for the moon illuminating the ocean. You turned your phone flashlight on to make sure you were avoiding the tide pools. As you made your way down the dock, you saw a small glow of orange coming from a figure sitting at the end of it. Occupied, great.

You started to turn and walk away when you heard a clear "Hey!" coming from the person you'd interrupted. Turning back towards the ocean you realized the glow was a cigarette and you knew the voice you'd just heard. Even better, it's the person you're in a frenzy over.

You made your way down the ancient wooden slats until you were standing next to where he was sitting, dangling his legs off the side.

"You look cute" smoke left his mouth as he spoke, looking up at you.

Remembering that you were going for bedtime panic and not style, you snorted. "Suuure, thanks. It's the boots, isn't it?"

He smiled and shook his head, the smoke exiting his nose this time. "You been thinking?"

"Yeah. Since we left Zuzu. You?"

"'Course. Hard not to when your friends hit you with something like that" he looked up at you, a soft smile creeping across his lips. "Figure anything out?"

You closed the space between you and plopped down next to him, crossing your ankles and pulling your knees up under your chin. "Well, I knew, and then I didn't know. Then I thought I knew, but I didn't know, so I was thinking, and now I think I know but I'm still not really sure" a tired laugh left your chest after you spoke.

Laughing with you, he shook his head and began putting his cigarette out. "Yeah, that's one way to put it."

A comfortable silence found its way to the two of you again as you sat and watched the ocean. You weren't sure what was right or wrong to say here. It felt like your friendship was at jeopardy but also, like nothing was ever wrong to begin with. That old feeling of ease you felt whenever you were with him washed over you regardless of the stakes at hand.

You decided there was no more point in putting it off. You'd been out in a position you didn't think was possible 12 hours ago. Now that you were here, you couldn't see it as a valid reason to start omitting things from him. That alone would change your friendship from what it had been forever.

"I think I know how I feel. No, I know that I know how I feel." You felt so shaky despite managing to sound so confident in your statement. "I'm just not sure about the rest. I remembered something Jas said to me that has me thinking I know the rest but... that's not enough to convince me I'm right."

The emo looked down at you and smiled. Softly, he said "an elementary schooler is where you're finding your strongest sources of evidence?"

"Shut up" you giggled. "Just because she's quiet around you and everyone else ever doesn't mean you should discard her thoughts. She's incredibly intelligent and observant" you poked back.

"I'm not discarding her. Just thought with everything else that her being your biggest form of proof was funny, s'all." He let out a soft, warm chuckle. "I know how I feel too. I have a guess about the rest but my basis of reason is fully in my head alone and not from the mouth of a child," he teased, "so it could just be delusion."

"I would say that you aren't delusional, but after today I can't confidently say that about anyone" you laughed.

It's too late to turn back now. Might as well put everything out on the table.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Always, angel. What's up?"

You paused. "Remember the last time we dyed your hair?"

He snorted and looked away from you, choosing to stare at the waves instead.

"Did I say something wrong?" you felt anxiety ping at your chest. Were you wrong? Should you shut up now?

"No, no" he hushed you. "It's just crazy for you to bring that night up." He looked away again, swallowing a deep breath. "When you showed up here, I was thinking about you sitting in front of me on the counter, so focused on making sure I looked good. Wearing one of my old shirts mouthing the words to our playlist. Your lashes were fluttering as you looked up at me and just -" he choked on a breath. "Fuck dude. It just hit me like, yeah. Actually I know how I feel."

His head turned to look the opposite way of you and started lightly tapping out a rhythm against the dock. The hard part was over for you, but not him. He had no idea what you were about to say and even though you knew he was anxious he was trying not to show it.

You put your legs down and leaned closer to him, the added feeling of you making him turn back towards you.

"I think that night is why I know too."

He blinked back at you. "You mean lik-"

"I was thinking about that night - those nights - while we were on the bus." You realized you were speaking so fast and tried to slow your words. "I don't know, I just never realized how intimate and I guess right they feel? You don't let anyone near you even emotionally, and then there I am. Helping you with something that makes you feel like who you are, bodies borderline intertwined because I need to make sure I get it all dyed. And you always look down at me with this look on your face and when I think about it my stomach flutters and"

Your frenzy was cut off by the realization of how close your faces had gotten. Sebastian was straight faced, locking your eyes with his dark brown ones. Your noses were brushing against each other as he spoke.

"It's happening again" he muttered plainly.

"Huh?" came out as a squeak from your throat.

"I don't think I knew it fully," he inched closer to you. When he spoke again his lips were ghosting against yours "I think I've wanted to kiss you for a while."

"But you still haven't done it" you whispered back.

Your lips met in a soft, tender kiss. It felt treacherous, yet like this was where you had always belonged. Sebastian reached up and cupped below your ear with his hand, thumb rubbing your temple while he deepened the kiss. You grabbed his arm and your other hand searched for his free one, locking fingers when you found it. When you finally pulled apart, you rested your forehead on his, giggling. He smiled back at you. Both of you went to speak and just ended up kissing again, unsure of why this felt so right and how you'd went so long without doing it.

The day before Spirit's Eve had you feeling like you needed to be everywhere, all at once. You had to drop off last minute supplies to Abby for your costumes. Lewis had told you that the Wizard did in fact need more pumpkins so you needed to get them fully harvested and ready to be dropped off the next morning. Jas needed last minute opinions on which costume she wanted to wear which would entail an entire fashion show and you promised Willy a fresh Salmon before the snow hit which was 3 days away.

You weren't sure how, but you'd managed to pull it all off by the time the sun set, leaving plenty of room to fulfill your last obligation; dying your boyfriend's hair. You'd noticed an orange twinge when you were out by the lake yesterday and there was no way he was going to the festival looking like that.

You'd already changed into an old shirt he'd left in your room when his motorcycle rumbled in front of the farmhouse. The engine cut, then there was a familiar voice saying hello to your cat. He headed to your room to change into more suitable clothes in case any dye got on them, while you hooked up the speaker and hit play on your shared playlist. Instantly, your ears were filled with the sound of that favorite song, the same one that had been so pivotal in bringing you two together.

You hopped up to your seat on the counter and called out "Sebby!"

He padded into the bathroom, face softening to that same expression that you now knew was love when he entered the doorway and saw you.

"Yeah, babe?"

"I think now's your chance" you teased.

He laughed and made his way against you, leaning down for a kiss. "Yeah, I think it is."