#oops all trauma

[mysterymastere]

Emotionally neglected "gifted kid" -> developing a praise kink

Constant anxiety in childhood -> a need to always be in control

Regularly shunned by peers for acting weird -> embracing darker and unusual aesthetic

Need for explicit and consistent rules -> Dynamics, negotiation, and protocols

A feeling that my brain was different than everyone else's -> studying hypnosis and brainwashing

Awareness of the suffering around me and feeling angry at the injustice -> designing a commune where people can live the way they wish, free of the devil's in society

I'm not saying that my autism is the reason I want to be worshipped as the leader of a cult of followers...

[thewhumpcaretaker]

𝐖𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐕𝐈𝐈: 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫

Event Host: @wickblr

Summary: John Wick battles against the memories of The Director telling him he is a serial killer who cannot love.

TW: guilt, emotional child abuse, suicidal thoughts

“You’re a serial killer, Jardani.”

It’s in the back of his head all the time. Not even as a fully formed thought. Certainly not a rational thought. He's aware logically that he doesn't do this because he likes it...right? But he was so good at it, from such a young age. It came so naturally to him. He must like it. He knows what he is. He knows it above all other things. He doesn’t know how many he’s killed. Other people know, probably. People who like killers keep tallies. John doesn't like killers. He doesn't like himself. So he keeps no tallies. He doesn't want to know. And what kind of man doesn’t even know how many people he’s killed?

“You’re a monster, John Wick. The boogeyman.”

Why should he, John Wick, be allowed to have a child when he is the thing that parents tell their children stories about to frighten them into obedience? Why should he have a family or a wife or even a girlfriend? Why should he hold someone gentle in the hands that have been drenched in blood, that have crushed windpipes and snapped spinal columns? He tells Helen not to put their pistol in the bedroom. Never. He doesn’t want to wake up from a nightmare thinking she’s the enemy and - But he knows it doesn’t matter where they keep the gun. He could kill her with his bare hands anyway.

“Jardani. Listen to me. You’re a killer. You can’t love.”

The Director is still leaning over him with her hair in a bun, murderous hand on his shoulder as if what she’s saying is such a tender and important message. Like a proud parent telling him he can do anything he puts his mind to, except she’s telling him what he can’t do instead. He can’t love. She’s always saying this. She’s always standing over him, no matter where he goes or what he does, awake or asleep. And no matter how old he gets, no matter what happens, his answer is always the same.

“The woman I love is stronger than me. She’s more loveable than I am incapable of love. She wins.”

He didn't say it then. He just held his tongue and nodded and kept it in his secret heart. It's not an articulate thought but it comes to him as a victory. Every time, she wins. Before he met her, he knew she would win. He knew it because she was already winning. When he imagined her, he felt himself disappear. Killer? Who’s a killer? Jardani Jovanovich? Never heard of him. No, there’s just a beautiful, open-hearted person somewhere. How is there attention left for anything else when she’s in the world? Some asshole killer is not worth thinking about. He’s already forgotten his own name. Her, on the other hand…

“Even serial killers should make themselves useful for Helen.”

Serial killers get the death penalty. But a death penalty is a waste of someone who could bring Helen her morning coffee. A death penalty is a waste of someone who could hold Helen while she falls asleep. A death penalty is a waste of someone who could behold Helen, and appreciate her in every way, and carry her memory forever. A death penalty is a waste of someone who could love Helen.

“I love Helen.”

There it is, the contradiction. Men of his sort can’t love. And Helen can’t NOT be loved. This paradox is always in his head. This exchange.

“You’re a serial killer, John.”

“I love Helen.”

Love wins every time.

[mika-0730]

How my day is going learning my childhood experiences (trauma) is not normal

[hoboscruff]

I swear, my goal wasn't "let's make a terrible joke only Destiny_thememe will enjoy" (though the likelihood this gets back to Echo without just straight up sending it to them seems low lmao) but newbabyfly gave me a good prompt idea and it got away from me.

The prompt

The art:

[wrathfullightning]

10 for the uncommon oc asks! For your main trio

Pierce:

The lie he's most frequently told is that he was a war orphan adopted by his parents once they truly decided to get married after the series ends and the Military Fraternization laws are amended to be more lenient. His eyepatch was explained away as an injury from a bombing as a child so that people don't pry about what's under there. Its.....not technically a lie but the necessity of keeping so much of his existence under wraps really messed with him for a while and made him value the openness he shares amongst his close friends and 501st comrades all the more.

Xiaoyu:

The biggest lie she tells herself and others is that she's really not bothered by everything she went through. Growing up as the black sheep of her massive family, Xiaoyu doesn't like to make others worry about her once she's out of her assassin brainwashing and tries desperately to ensure that the people she cares about, namely Pierce and Ai Mei, think she's totally fine and normal and not messed up by anything in the slightest. She regrets it constantly because she knows its a lie and that she's not fine and that she's actually super traumatized but is more terrified of being rejected by the only people who've ever accepted her and haven't tried to torture her differences out of her.

Red:

The most frequent lie he's told is that he was perfectly 100% straight. Red is in fact very bi and even his late wife knew it. He's happy to be out now and is living his best life amongst his supportive band of comrades but he wishes he was more open with his wife and friends before everything went to shit because he knows they would've accepted him and all.

[crystallizedtwilight]

My first thought when I first watched Film Red was, why tf would Shanks leave Uta all by herself after something so traumatizing??? Like how is abandoning her with a random stranger they hardly know a good idea??

There's not a single brain cell aboard that ship. I find comfort knowing that Buggy would never do that in your AU

In my AU Buggy stops her from eating the devil fruit in the first place so we're good!

[wheatnoodle]

steve calls everyone to check up on them at 8:00 every night. like clockwork, the phones will ring and one by one, each kiddo confirms their safety. it puts his mind at ease, at least just a little bit.

robin only calls steve. never at a specific time, but always way too late in the night to be something she planned. 2:34, 1:17, 3:55, 4:11.

“steve? steve, please tell me you’re there.”

“i’m here, robbie.”

she’s huffing and puffing like she ran a marathon in her sleep.

“they don’t- they’re not- your face?”

“nobody’s here but me. no russians. no injuries.” he tries to keep his voice even, steady, let her know he means it.

“promise you’ll call if they come? i’ll- i’ll get you out this time, i swear, i- i’ll do more. promise?”

and steve shuts his eyes, holding back a sad sigh as he pictures her in that bunker, where her brain currently is, screaming out for him, begging them to leave him alone, to stop hurting him.

“i promise. but there’s nothing to worry about. i’m okay, you’re okay. there’s no russians.”

“i should have saved you-“

“you did save me, robbie.”

“i could have- i should have done more.”

“you did enough.”

and her breathing stutters before it finally slows down, her lungs settling on an even pace. he can lay back now.

“i’m gonna…gonna go to sleep again.”

“good. you do that. i’m a call away.”

“a call away…okay…yeah…okay. i love you.”

“i love you too, robin.”

“okay…g’night.”

“goodnight, robbie.”

[moonshere]

Been thinking a lot about this “the family plays isat” AU and how it might happen

Siffrin would probably refuse for them to play it if he was aware of it (thinking about how they said when learning about the diary in the library that they would hate it if someone read their deepest thoughts) and the rest of the family would also respect that, because it really would be a breach of trust. They’d prefer it if Siffrin talked to them himself, after all.

A situation I could see it happening is if, post-Loop battle, Siffrin’s Craft exhaustion got so severe he gets knocked out for a full week or two, maybe more! And the family would be so worried and desperate to understand what happened so that if the game appeared to them suddenly, they’d be tempted enough to play through it. If only just to figure out how to help Siffrin wake up again

(and probably a mixture of other emotions too, wanting to see the conversations Siffrin had with them that they don’t remember, feeling guilty that they didn’t notice soon enough, terrified that Siffrin is hiding something else. I mean, Siffrin straight up did not mention the Loop battle to them at all, even after they promised to talk! so they’d be worried on what happened there already)

Honestly I think all of them would also be exhausted and on bed rest after the whole quest to defeat the King was over, it took months of constant movement and stress so the whole family would crash hard afterwards. Cuz of that they’d be stuck together on like the infirmary or a private room with strict orders to take it easy, what better time to play the game than that?

[hamletisintown]

He had it coming, he had it coming, he had it coming.

Inspired by newest developments in this fic, text (and wonderful, riveting fic) by @becausegraf.

Don't worry, things are perfectly fine :)

(ID in alt text)

[wombywoo]

It occurred to me the other day that during Quinn's super turbo trauma story, his neck probably wasn't slashed but choked. And now I have more questions, because somehow I can't stop thinking about your characters. So:

Did Quinn end up having a vision during that event? (Does he get them during every near-death event, or is it more rare than that?)

How the hell did he cope being with Marc? 'Cause I'm about 90% sure that guy would have got off on choking him.

When the taskforce was created, was Quinn still in his relapse where he thought he needed his visions? Did Liz find out? How does he feel about her trying to get him to have more visions? D=

Does Vincent find out Liz is using Quinn like that, and how does he feel about it? (Does Danny find out??)

In fact, how does Vincent feel about the fact an evil vampire caused a mass dragon killing spree and this was Quinn's first vision? I get the feeling that, while Quinn tries to shrug off these coincidences, Vincent is a little more concerned. XD

Also, in your art of Quinn with Marc, the wall says 196 people will die in an ungodly tragedy. Was that the dragon killing spree or another event we have yet to hear of?

Oops. 🙈 Sorry for so many questions! I just want to know all the things. And I can't help but love all your lore drops. <3

Ok!! OK!!!!! You are feeding me so well with these tasty questions auughhh thank you for finding interest in my dumb ramblings !!!!!

There are answers under the cut (warning for some heavy topics, discussion of injuries, domestic abuse, self harm, spoilers for a story that doesn't even exist, etc)

So.

Quinn's throat was slashed. It was cut with a knife, kind of a shaky first slice, but it got deeper and went all the way across; enough force to puncture his trachea, though it didn't sever the vocal cords; he was lying on his back and couldn't move, and honestly..he didn't really feel it at the time. It was all just a very numb, surreal feeling. I won't go into suuuper specifics, but thankfully some pressure was applied to the wound right away, he was resuscitated with cpr, and he was still able to breathe despite some complications to his airway, long enough for him to receive medical treatment.

But he did black out. And he might have seen things.

It's the only vision he's had that he can't remember...

~*waves hands all vague and mysterious like~*oohooohoo

Ok! Visions! So, for the most part, Quinn needs to be medically dead, albeit temporarily, for him to have a vision. Usually, his heart has to stop for one to happen, and he's just lying there, unmoving. Like..dead, dead. This should be a rare event, but uh...he's had more than a dozen visions, I'd say....

The thing is--he always comes back. Even in the worst scenarios (ie. not breathing for more than 5 minutes) he somehow always miraculously revives with minimal repercussions (sure, there's probable brain/heart damage, but it should be way waaay worse) So, he's kind of chalked up this vague 'immortality' thing as a byproduct of the visions...more mystery...

With Marc--yeah. That was just a bad situation all around. A lot of Marc and Quinn's physical relationship revolved around their dangerous power dynamic, so um. yeah. choking was one of the things they messed around with. Quinn actually requested it at the time, out of this twisted self-harm kink he'd developed. (he's, regrettably, the worst at coping with his trauma, so uhhh he feels like he needs to push himself to that same sensation of near death just feel anything at all and uhhh it's not good, you should not do this at home kids, but he feels like strangulation is the closest he can come to feeling alive just for a brief second and yeah he's fucked up he's not good I know..)

It was consensual stuff at first, but after one of their..sessions...Marc pushed it too far, he wouldn't let go and uh. Quinn suffocated and passed out. Marc did manage to revive him, but he...died for a second there. And he had a vision--one of the first dragon attacks in France that would later lead to its occupation by [insert evil vampire terrorist group]. Marc was actually comforting him after, he was just...rubbing him and telling him he was sorry and it was ok, so in the midst of a mental and physical breakdown, Quinn divulged what he saw. And Marc took him seriously, which was also rare. And they talked about it, and...it seemed ok for once.

It was only after that he realized how Marc wanted specific details, stuff he could use to harvest information and push numbers and invest in whatever type of bullshit could make a profit out of tragedy. They carried on with their relationship, but when it came to testing their limits in the bedroom....Marc took it too far again. And Quinn had another vision--a vampire massacre in [specific french location] and 196 people died, and he was crying as he told him how he saw it all from the perspective of a child. Marc seemed eager. He asked him even more questions. But...it was fine. He was still rubbing him, being calm. And Quinn had agreed to the choking. He wanted this. It was actually helping other people if he was able to use this information somehow.

But it happened again. And again. More times... Until eventually Quinn realized he had no say in the matter anymore.

The sad thing was that he convinced himself it was out of love; Marc was very passionate, this was just his way of showing him he loved him....

It became too much...after a while....

ANyway!

So, now we're in the present when Quinn joins the task force with Vincent~

At this point in time, he's gotten help with his mental state so he no longer feels the desperate urge to harm himself and induce his visions (for the most part), and is relatively stable (sure!)

Miss Major Liz is aware of his visions, to a degree. She had mistakenly thought Quinn developed a narcotic problem when she was his CO at some point (yes, he used drugs a few times to induce visions (it was about 50/50 successful)) Most of her awareness had come from Danny, who divulged his part in Quinn's #BFF-bonding-moment4lyfe (ie, forcing his friend to assist in drowning himself. twice) So she does have knowledge of some of the...wackiness.

At this point in our tale, she hasn't done anything about it. Yet. It's a testament to how off the books she works that she hasn't forced Quinn into a psych eval that will surely bench him for the next foreseeable uuhh forever. So she's keeping that on lock.

I do think that [at some point in this potential story of mine] she will consider using Quinn's 'talents' to their benefit. She's a hard lady, not afraid to trade dirty hands for even dirtier handshakes, so there will probably be a time when she wants to take advantage of potential knowledge that can influence her agenda....

Vincent...will not take this lightly.

Honestly, this whole scenario is rife with delicious drama, so I will simmer it on low and ponder it for future conflict in the [insert novel series teehee] to come

Vincent has a lot of feelings about Quinn !!!! and his visions !!! and the evil vampire agenda !!!! Too many feelings!! But all he wants is for his boy to understand that his safety and wellbeing and life are the most important things to him, and none of that is worth trading for a small glimpse at a future that will happen anyway. Quinn...disagrees. This is also teeming with potential drama, you see...

I have a LOT more of this type of speculation, but for now, I will leave you with this dump of lore and trauma for you to sink your teeth into~

Thanks for the saucy and delicious questions <3

[moonartemisia]

May I present to you the holy trinity of my boys with family issues/mostly sibling issues 😔💕

[lee1504]

me remembering that one time i had to write and publish and actual book for a school project so i created a retelling of romeo and juliet except it was a gay love story and both romeo and juliet (<- who i turned into julien) were both doomed by the narrative and were never supposed to fall in love since their families were on opposite sides of a kingdom and it was a literal masterpiece but when i turned it in for the teacher to read (it had a cover and was laminated and bound and all that) she kind of had a mental break down and said "your writing is excellent and exceeded the standards, but it is too inappropriate for someone your age to read" (i didn't know if the 'inappropriate' part she was talking about was me turning it gay or the amount of blood and gore in the book)

[statementlou]

So I see folks pointing out that Louis' circle A tattoo is more likely an aesthetic choice than an announcement of a political commitment to anarchism, and saying basically that that maybe makes him a bit of a poser and I mean- I GUESS. But I don't like to look at things that way and I don't think it's useful. As I see it the subversive sexiness of the symbols of resistance have ALWAYS been gateways for people who are drawn to the struggle in vague ways and that's GOOD. Aligning yourself with those values is good no matter the reason, in my book, especially given the wretched options available out there, but also the journey doesn't necessarily stop there. Gatekeeping queerness victimizes people who are just trying things out and starting to discover that it may run deeper than just trying on a new look who should instead be welcomed and helped along their path, and I fail to see how gatekeeping political affiliations is any different (plus how counterproductive to actual movement building is that?)

ANYWAY. What I really want to say about Louis is that while I KNOW that Louis is probably not secretly a theory reading anti-state communalist anarchist, I think that actually Louis' optimism and idealism (and his unwavering commitment to allying himself with the working class and embracing those roots) are a perfect fit for the philosophy and always have been. I know that anarchism is mostly understood as being about throwing molotov cocktails and fighting the state (and the allure of its symbols are that they signify this, a terrific aesthetic for him to choose to sign on with in my book), but that's honestly largely cartoonish stereotyping that comes directly from anti-anarchist state propaganda. That resistance is necessary in this hellscape of oppression we live in and is super important, but in its heart anarchism is only about the state in that the state and capitalism currently stands in the way of its goals. The whole point of anarchism is that it's NOT about the state! It's about being able to imagine something better than a state, it's about how we live and about how we SHOULD live, it's about HOPE and picturing something utopian and something free of the ways capitalism pits us against one another! What could be more Louis than that?

"I need you and you need me and I love that" is as beautiful a way of talking about the cornerstone of anarchism that is mutual aid as any long winded essay I've read (even if what he meant was contextually different), and I think when he talks again and again about how special the space fans have made around him is he is expressing an intuitive understanding of the importance of autonomous zones, places and moments outside of the shitty life imposed on us by the system (also a huge part of anarchist thought). Maybe I'm just being an optimist but I think that Louis DOES understand that caring for people and wanting self-determination and freedom for all and allying himself with the working class involves a certain amount of resistance to and positioning yourself in opposition to the state. Thinking the symbols of smashing that state are cool isn't meaningless; it's a CHOICE. There are other cool symbols out there and I just happen to think that feeling a resonance with certain ones is something in and of itself, even if at this moment he does not choose to start a fight with the media about it all.

[piedpiperart]

Phantom in Gotham

DP x DC Fic

AO3

Danny escaped his parents and ended up on the streets of Gotham, going out as Phantom invisibly and helping out the local vigilantes. The bats are wary at first but start to like their little ghost friend, especially when he heals Jason from the Pit Rage.

Meanwhile Danny gets into Gotham Academy and befriends Tim and Steph, who are worried for this poor kids health and try to get him to the manor. It doesn’t work until Jason stumbles across him as Red Hood and kidnaps brings him home.

[crossdressingdeath]

I feel like the "strong reason" Rook has for not getting involved with blood magic is probably to do with the situation rather than personal beliefs or feelings (or at least it should be, especially given what happened with Hawke I don't particularly want Bioware making decisions about how my character feels about blood magic for me), but at the same time. Blood magic trauma... blood magic trauma would be so fun...

[dazais-guardian-angel]

kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....