#oops all trauma

[mysterymastere]

Emotionally neglected "gifted kid" -> developing a praise kink

Constant anxiety in childhood -> a need to always be in control

Regularly shunned by peers for acting weird -> embracing darker and unusual aesthetic

Need for explicit and consistent rules -> Dynamics, negotiation, and protocols

A feeling that my brain was different than everyone else's -> studying hypnosis and brainwashing

Awareness of the suffering around me and feeling angry at the injustice -> designing a commune where people can live the way they wish, free of the devil's in society

I'm not saying that my autism is the reason I want to be worshipped as the leader of a cult of followers...

[dichromaticdyke]

23 with Devigail cuz you know I love some sapphic hurt/comfort

23- Write about your ship supporting each other through a hard time.

Some days were better than others.

Truthfully, Devon hadn't known better. He still probably should have thrown out the raw meat in the fridge once it had started to spoil, but he had he known how Abigail would react upon its discovery, he wouldn't have been so careless. It wasn't even that old, just enough for the smell to kick in. But that was all that was needed.

As the acrid, almost ammonia-like scent of rotting flesh hit Abigail's nose, she threw a hand over her mouth and nose, desperate to block it out. Her mind filled in the gaps in her sight, watching non existent maggots curl in and out of the meat. She doubled back from the fridge, eyes twisted shut in fear and disgust, curling in on herself.

She burned. She felt her tattoos burn. No, not her tattoos. She didn't have tattoos, she had a gaping, poorly-stitched together wound in her back and exiting out her front. The bright overhead lights stung her retinas, so used to squinting in the dark. She couldn't breathe.

The weight of the iron collar around her neck, chaining her to the ground, wasn't actually there. But the mental weight kept her locked in place regardless.

"Is everything okay in there?" came a voice. It was familiar, it was warm, but Abigail didn't trust any illusions of trust right now. She looked up, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from, trying to parse through the dank, dark room her brain told her she was at and the brightness that actually looked into her eyes.

She caught sight of a knife handle. Desperate for a means to defend herself, she grabbed hold of it, pointing it outward at the approaching person. "Don't come any closer!" she demanded. Her voice came off weak and hoarse, but she screamed out as best she could regardless.

"Abi?" The voice was far too gentle. It was confused, even. This wasn't the voice of the mindless revengencers coming to torment her, this wasn't the voice of Magnus coming to mock her or deride her for her involvement in the band.

She knew this voice. Devon?

"Abi, it's me, put the knife down."

No, how was Devon here? Had Magnus gotten to him too? She shook her head. "No no, I need it. I didn't have it at the funeral, I need it."

"It's okay. Abigail, you're home. No one's here to hurt ya. Gimme the knife."

Could it be true? It would explain the brightness everywhere. She became cognizant of her own breathing, shallowly wheezing to try to remain upright. She dropped the knife on the ground, close enough that she could still grab it in case this all turned out to be a cruel trick.

"Okay. Okay." She felt strong hands press against her shoulder and her waist. She was lifted just a bit into the air, and though she prepared for the sudden jerk of the chain to catch around her throat and bring her crashing back to earth, it never came.

And it was the never coming that made her shift, just so slightly, back to the now. Her brain clouded over, and she looked at Devon. She blinked, rubbing her head. "Devon...?"

"Yea. Yea, baby, it's me."

She had lost control. She couldn't parse how it had happened, not now with the post-episode fog, but she could see the red fire at the end of the black and green tunnel. And she broke. Wailing. Screaming. Sobbing. Hysterics, even. But did they come from the weight sinking in of what was a very rare, but still very real, PTSD episode? Or were they coming from the shame that Devon saw her like this?

"Abigail, Abigail," came Devon's voice again. She knew her name, why did he keep saying it? His hands came to her hair and she shoved him back.

"Don't, please," she cried. She hugged herself, keeping her head down. She couldn't stop the crying. How could she lose control like this? It wasn't like her. She felt so heavy.

"Don't push me away," he insisted.

"I don't want you to see me like this!" she screamed. "Go! Go, no one's supposed to see me weak like this."

Devon didn't listen to her. And another day she'd kill him for that. Hell, the bets weren't off on whether or not she'd kill him for this an hour or two from now. But he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight against his body.

"Let go of me, please."

"Not if you're gonna run away."

"You don't know what's best for me!"

His shoulders were growing wet with her tears, her spit. He didn't let up. "Maybe not. But I'm not lettin' ya go no matter how weak you get, Abigail. I'm never lettin' ya go."

She relented. And once she stopped fighting the shame, she remembered just how good it felt to surrender into the arms of someone who loved you. She continued to cry softly into his shoulder, his hands slowly, carefully, caressing against her hair. "This might happen again," she whispered.

"And I'll be here again."

"But what if you're not? You weren't at the funeral." It stung to remind him of that, and she could hear his sharp intake of breath at that.

"I'll be there." He released her just enough to brush his fingers against her necklace. The ring on her left hand. "And you'll be with me." He did the same with his own necklace, his own ring. His hand came to her stomach, pressing against her scar.

Not her scar. The lavender adorning the place where a twisted madman tried to carve his mark into her. She remembered what Devon said the lavender meant. She took a breath, and the hand came to her back, to the snapdragons that now defended her there, too.

She nodded slowly. And she curled back against Devon's chest, no longer fighting the idea at love, at comfort, at surrendering to someone else.

[mika-0730]

How my day is going learning my childhood experiences (trauma) is not normal

[xonlictheeverswarm]

Ok, but not to be tragic but... the "impermanence is not freedom" actually harmed me.

Like it threw me for a loop and has shaken something

good dynamic: character who’s too deeply rooted to a fault + character who’s never been able to form roots anywhere before

[crystallizedtwilight]

My first thought when I first watched Film Red was, why tf would Shanks leave Uta all by herself after something so traumatizing??? Like how is abandoning her with a random stranger they hardly know a good idea??

There's not a single brain cell aboard that ship. I find comfort knowing that Buggy would never do that in your AU

In my AU Buggy stops her from eating the devil fruit in the first place so we're good!

[arcanebrained]

[wowstrawberrycow]

thank you for the tag @silvereyesofelivostis

Wanna play? @gauntletgirlie , @gauntletgirlie , @iwanderbecauseimlost , @valar-did-me-wrong, @cerberussys , @greenleaf4stuff, @itwillbeourswansong, @starlight-n-shit, @firelightinferno ,@plotdesigner, @purplecladmerchant

Moots game :)

6 fictional characters that you relate to!

Mine:

Tagging: @lesly1234 @ciggiestash @violetharmonsrose @violetharmonscigs @mlissyou @evanpeterswifeyyy @0rfielvamp @necroseviolet @enderman1967 @cxndiedvi0lets @kitwalker02 @xvioletharmonx @foreverlostflowers @foreverviolets @violettharmon @brightanshiny @urgh0stlygirl @irlviolet @violetharmonipod @violetharmonsblade @heartz4tate @petalsofviolet @pe4rlette @ziggywiththestarz @s1eepingpatterns @grav3yardgh0sts @emmasshitblog @taintedarabesque @viocult @h6rmon @angiesd1ary @suicidalcuts @brianmosersblog @sleila @livingdeadgirl-222 @iloveandybiersackkk @daughterofdahmerr @daughterofthesea111 @junkie4weezer @hoe4kai @mp3stargrl @violet1737 @lin0skya @sweetcyanidemilkshake @linzixvxsworld @get4waycarr @thewomanwagon @whosbloom @bluecat77 @crumpled-lavender + more!

[wheatnoodle]

steve calls everyone to check up on them at 8:00 every night. like clockwork, the phones will ring and one by one, each kiddo confirms their safety. it puts his mind at ease, at least just a little bit.

robin only calls steve. never at a specific time, but always way too late in the night to be something she planned. 2:34, 1:17, 3:55, 4:11.

“steve? steve, please tell me you’re there.”

“i’m here, robbie.”

she’s huffing and puffing like she ran a marathon in her sleep.

“they don’t- they’re not- your face?”

“nobody’s here but me. no russians. no injuries.” he tries to keep his voice even, steady, let her know he means it.

“promise you’ll call if they come? i’ll- i’ll get you out this time, i swear, i- i’ll do more. promise?”

and steve shuts his eyes, holding back a sad sigh as he pictures her in that bunker, where her brain currently is, screaming out for him, begging them to leave him alone, to stop hurting him.

“i promise. but there’s nothing to worry about. i’m okay, you’re okay. there’s no russians.”

“i should have saved you-“

“you did save me, robbie.”

“i could have- i should have done more.”

“you did enough.”

and her breathing stutters before it finally slows down, her lungs settling on an even pace. he can lay back now.

“i’m gonna…gonna go to sleep again.”

“good. you do that. i’m a call away.”

“a call away…okay…yeah…okay. i love you.”

“i love you too, robin.”

“okay…g’night.”

“goodnight, robbie.”

[chanelle-lize]

I used to have a really hard time bringing up the fact that I graduated from high school a year late without feeling the need to explain why and insisting that it wasn't my fault while simultaneously kicking myself for how much I sounded like I was just making excuses for something I should take responsibility for.

Then I watched Dimension 20's "The Seven" and suddenly I could simply say that I was a super senior.

The first time I heard the phrase "super senior" was in reference to Antiope Jones, a Black girl who had been held back a year after getting kidnapped and imprisoned by members of a fundamentalist cult, and like, girl, same.

So, since then, instead of anxiously spinning out any time I tried to tell a personal high school anecdote, I could just say I was a super senior, and then my brain would auto complete that statement with "like Antiope Jones" and I'd feel good about myself because Antiope Jones Is That Bitch.

That's what the problem had been the whole time. I wasn't worried about how other people would perceive me; I had been struggling with how I perceived myself.

Thanks, Aabria.

[qoldenskies]

YOOOO QOLDEN! IM SUPER HAPPY TO SEE YOU CAUSE YOU ALWAYS HAVE SOME OF THE BEST MOST JOYFUL ART IN THE WORLD AND YOUR WRITING IS ALWAYS FIRE!!

Anyways, you disappeared off my feed for a minute and I was thinking about you

Any tips of all the turtles characterisation? I'm struggling with Raph and Leo, and recently realised how hard it is to write Mikey and make him an actual person. With Donnie, it's a bit easier because he's Donnie- he has got clear character in the show and every one of his actions can be linked to his family, etc.

Also, will there be any Brains and Brawn- centric fics that you'll work on? I feel like you'd write a really good BnB fic that'd make me sob

i just write leo making decisions that make the situation 3000% worse, before immediately locking the fuck in and doing the most emotionally intelligent, competent thing that he possibly can. it actually really aligns with how he operates in the show. he bitches and he fights and he goes down kicking and screaming and then he fixes it perfectly fine. you have to drag him by the ankles into making responsible decisions. usually through the mud. and even then he'll WHINE ABOUT IT the whole time. leo hates being honest and he loves lying. i think it's funny how much he loves lying. this is probably why literally every single time i write him i make someone mad at him. like there's always people yelling about leo being stupid in my comment sections. being clever just does not make him free from his own stupid biases i guess lmao.

when it comes to raph... ive written up a paragraph and deleted it like 5 times i genuinely dont even know how to describe it. but all i can really say is that dont let the maternal figure gentle puppydog endlessly patient raph characterization in the fandom drag you down because i think there's a lot more fun to be had with how testy and impatient he is. he always feels like he's running after them all and he's exhausted with it, especially because he's not good at making decisions on the fly. arguing and shouting is how he handles his stress. i put him in a lot of situations where fear can kind of cancel that out but those are also usually ones where he's not the one taking the lead. i feel like he just clashes so hard with leo because they dont like to listen to each other, and both of them hated being called out for shit they actually do. LIKE WHO TOLD YOU. raph will come to important conclusions on his own but usually if you try to argue with him he'll just double down lmfao. also take your drafts and make raph at least 10% sillier trust me it always helps

as for bnb things.... i have some stuff in the bthb! its actually wild how little content i have planned for their duo dynamic in particular because they're quite obviously one of my favorites. is caged lungs technically my only brains and brawn fic????? ummmmmm

[moonshere]

Been thinking a lot about this “the family plays isat” AU and how it might happen

Siffrin would probably refuse for them to play it if he was aware of it (thinking about how they said when learning about the diary in the library that they would hate it if someone read their deepest thoughts) and the rest of the family would also respect that, because it really would be a breach of trust. They’d prefer it if Siffrin talked to them himself, after all.

A situation I could see it happening is if, post-Loop battle, Siffrin’s Craft exhaustion got so severe he gets knocked out for a full week or two, maybe more! And the family would be so worried and desperate to understand what happened so that if the game appeared to them suddenly, they’d be tempted enough to play through it. If only just to figure out how to help Siffrin wake up again

(and probably a mixture of other emotions too, wanting to see the conversations Siffrin had with them that they don’t remember, feeling guilty that they didn’t notice soon enough, terrified that Siffrin is hiding something else. I mean, Siffrin straight up did not mention the Loop battle to them at all, even after they promised to talk! so they’d be worried on what happened there already)

Honestly I think all of them would also be exhausted and on bed rest after the whole quest to defeat the King was over, it took months of constant movement and stress so the whole family would crash hard afterwards. Cuz of that they’d be stuck together on like the infirmary or a private room with strict orders to take it easy, what better time to play the game than that?

[messrsrarchives]

do you have any good recommendations for a snupin fic?? ive been staying within my same comfort zone when it comes to reading and ive always hated snape, but i want to give him a try in a controlled environment lol

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hi ! :D i do !!!

okay so there's logic to these recs and i shall explain each one, but here's my snupin starter list <3

Lily's Boy - SomewheresSword

this is always the first snupin that i rec because it's drarry centric! snupin get many povs though! but this fic... this FICCC. everything about this fic is incredible and even if you don't like snupin and hateee them? you'll be glad to have read this fic. i have changed lives with this rec, yours is the next one. such a good starter one.

The Heir to the House of Prince - elph13

if i could only read one fic for the rest of my life? this one. this FICCC omg 😖😖😖 this is nottpott centric! but i'd say 60/40 nottpott/snupin and oh my god. incredible snupin. flawless. this series is an absolute masterpiece. let yourself get into a bit first! the start seems a bit confusing and funky but it all makes sense soon!!!

That Awful Boy - paracosim

mmmm yah yah. canon snape. this is so like book snape in that abused child kind of way. like you really SEE him and it's very trauma focused (because it's severitus) and ugh. UGHHHH my boys :((( all three of my boys :(((

Creature Comforts - BunnyBopper

this author has a few other snupins ! love love love ! this one is 6th year, their paired up together in care of magical creatures and MWAH. loved this remus sm.

Sleepless in Scotland - multilingualism

this one is a oneshot !! single dad remus needs a babysitter for teddy and only has ONE option. guess who !!! yah 🤭 i love this one sm i reread it so often <3

we'll keep the king - BlueSundayCake

AHHHHHH !! primary school teacher remus rescuing harry and taking him to his legal godfather.... snape! this author also has lots of snupin fics and i love all of them !!

[thefastestclockintheuniverse]

Okay Sollux, damn!

[moonartemisia]

May I present to you the holy trinity of my boys with family issues/mostly sibling issues 😔💕

[deelebee]

okay okay so maybe i’m going to project a bit here but i do not give a FUCK about mary. people are humanizing a corpse that her son had to burn. yes she got neil out of the butcher’s hands but this was not a selfless choice. she had them constantly running while never letting him be himself, hitting him for liking girls, never once being gentle, never once looking at this child she’s dragged on the run with her and thinking “this is my baby” and maybe taking a second to take care of him in more than just the legal definition. she took him for leverage. she took him because she didn’t want him to become his father. but she didn’t do anything to stop him from becoming her. she only cared about herself and she only took him for leverage i do not give a shit about mary because mary did not give a shit about neil.

i have been raised by a woman who did not care to look me in the eye and tell me it will be okay, who only took me from my father because she was on her way out anyway and needed something to cling to in the divorce, who kidnapped me off the school bus when i was 7 years old and moved us across the country, who always had us moving from place to place with no end goal in mind, who only cared about me when it suited her, who burned the lice off my scalp with a blow dryer rather than buy lice shampoo for me, who told me i was just confused when i told her i was bisexual, who drank rowdily and with abandon until 8am and then yelled at me when i was too tired from watching over her to go to school, who “tried her best” but ultimately ignored everything about me until it was too late because she didn’t give a fuck about me.

and i don’t smoke, but i still remember her when someone around me smokes a cigarette.

[nettlepain]

What is ur real name? <3

hi anon my name is lana :)