#oooookay we're doing this again

[a-loose-collection-of-ants]

Ok. Shit.

I get the feeling I'm not gonna sleep tonight, and who knows, I might regret this tomorrow but I need to get some thoughts out.

I've tried to retain this idea that most people are inherently good. Some of this is the remnants of whatever religious faith I was brought up in, and some of it is just what I tell myself to stay sane. It's getting harder to think that way, but I am trying to hold on to it.

There's this image I keep replaying in my head. My dad and I were visiting family down south shortly after he had wrapped up his cancer treatment. We stopped by my aunt's house in South Carolina, and she told me with tears in her eyes about how she had started gardening again after my dad's diagnosis. There was a Trump flag flying from her roof.

On another visit to the same family members, we were visiting a college and walked by a gender neutral bathroom. My uncle made some off-color joke about it and then quickly moved on when nobody laughed. My sister (a sort of closeted trans woman) looked at me with an expression of both deep sadness, and whatever face you make when you watch a bird fly head-first into a window.

My point is, I know these people aren't filled with hatred and malice. It's not constructive to waste your energy hating them when their greatest sin is ignorance.

I barely remember the Obergerfell decision, but I remember being in middle school around the time it happened. Attitudes towards queer people weren't great, but they changed so rapidly that I barely noticed. Maybe the fact that this was when I realized I was queer gave me a false sense of security when it came to the "moral arc of the universe", or maybe it's the example I have to hold onto about how fast things can change.

It's easy for people to fall into patterns of hate when they lack exposure, and the media landscape right now is making easier to avoid that sort of exposure. The basis of the fight against extremism is education, and I think it has to also be compassion.

Don't get me wrong, I also have family that are more than likely not worth the effort ("they" control the weather and all that), but those aren't most people. Most people are exhausted by politics. They see the price of groceries and vote for the other guy regardless of who's name is on the ballot. Or they're like a classmate of mine, who didn't really like either candidate and was having trouble just voting for the "better" one.

If anything, I guess this is a reminder to myself to hold on to empathy despite everything. It's fine to feel angry. Hell, it's probably good if it gets you moving. But we cannot respond to dehumanization with more dehumanization.

I'm not really all that religious anymore, but I hold on to some things. One of them is this: All things, by virtue of being crafted by God's hands, have value. Or, as my dad said it "God don't make no shit". This goes for yourself, as well as everyone else. I can't let myself lose that right now.

I don't want to belabor my point too much, but I do want to say that I saw people saying things like "it's all over if trump wins". I'm not going to lie, it's bad and people are going to get hurt and die because of this. America was waiting for the results of it's biopsy and we found out it's cancer... but we're not dead yet. I don't have a specific action I can advocate for, but please, don't give up. Authoritarianism is a longstanding wound on this country and it festers in apathy.

Take a deep breath. Regardless of what happens, time moves forward and the sun will rise in the morning. I am going to go to work, make some dinner, and hopefully find some way to work volunteering into my schedule.

Recommended listening if you want to cry right now

[apprenticestanheight]

kindly asking for hoffman taking care of a sick s/o (but also not opposed to the same prompt for amanda,,)

Hoffman and Amanda taking care of a sick s/o headcanons

Okay!! This is coming out literal months after it was sent into my inbox and for that, I apologize! I am notoriously terrible at time management and I will procrastinate as much as the day is long.

Procrastination in accompaniment with a couple of personal issues and mountains of demotivation and anxiety as tall as mount everest are not the best cocktail and again, I am very sorry for how long this has taken!

I do have it titled in a way that might be a little confusing but, just to clarify, I did do headcanons and I did two separate sets rolled up into one fic just so that I could make it a little easier on myself because I could not, for the life of me, choose between hoffman and amanda for this. I don't write enough for either of them so this is kind of how I'm compensating for that lol

Fic type - this is very fluffy!

Warnings - the reader has a sinus infection/cold, so there's likely to be symptoms of that discussed, plus mentions of medication

oooookay!! To start, we're gonna go with Hoffman!

You wake up sick one random morning at the beginning of February and Mark is immediately like "oh NO, did I give them the sinus cold that's been going around work?" bc he had it like,, two or so weeks beforehand

and when you say good morning in a way that tells mark you're groggy but also sick, he calls in sick from work on your behalf and then calls the precinct to waste a few sick days to take care of you

After he's called in sick from work, he kisses your forehead both because he wants to and also to check for a fever. He finds that you're burning up, which is a bit of a surprise given the fact that, the minute Mark had adjusted, you'd practically stolen all of the blankets from him.

So, he kisses you on the forehead again and then leaves your apartment to grab the essentials: ibuprofen for the inevitable headache, a combination pack Nyquil and Dayquil to ease the fever and also help you function like a person during the day and get some sleep at night.

He also grabs chicken noodle soup and bread for toast, plus a few of your favorite snacks.

When he gets back home, he tosses one of his older NJPD sweaters into the dryer so that it comes out warm once the fever has broken, finds you in your bed with nothing but a stolen pair of Marks boxers and one of his button ups to act as clothes. A thick blanket covers your legs entirely and you've sat up in the bed, clearly trying to will yourself to function like you would if you weren't sick.

Mark is at your side relatively quickly with a Dayquil and bottle of gatorade in hand, kissing your forehead as you take the pills and thank him for running the errand.

Generally, Mark is absolutely the type of guy who just wants to make sure you have the time to rest. He takes care of the house work, makes sure that the windows are open so that you're still getting fresh air but aren't practically drowning in the wintery cold, does everything he can to make sure you're resting well.

that also means he's with you lots of the time--he'll lay down with you in bed for as long as you want, happy to kiss the top of your head and act as your anchor when a migraine sets in.

It also means kisses after you've taken your meds--you'll pop a Dayquil, sip some gatorade, and Mark will kiss your forehead or your cheek and then say nothing when you fall asleep against his shoulder twenty minutes later

he's generally very sweet and absolutely one hell of a guy to have around when you have a cold

okay! It's Mandys turn

Amanda is super clingy and has herself a few connections, so when she finds out you have a cold she uses those connections.

the biggest connection that she has is lawrence (I am firmly of the belief that they had a sibling dynamic and also that they were both only children) and she uses it the second you're asleep while sinus-infected and bedridden

she calls him up like "hi. my partner has a cold. I need a prescription for the best cold meds you have or at least a bit of advice please and thanks."

so, Lawrence kind of like,, he gives her the play-by-play, right? He tells her what over-the-counter meds work the best and gives her advice on how to help you

she follows it bc she wants you to get better. She gets you the good stuff and benadryl, which has the tendency to knock a person out as it were and the night-time cold meds were out of stock at the pharmacy she went to.

She even goes to walmart and gets you a heated blanket. she is the fuckin--she loves you so much that she's willing to spend the 2001 equivalent of modern-day $20 for one of the decent ones.

And then she gets home and kisses you on the cheek bc emotional support, and you thank her while she sets up the heated blanket

generally, Amanda is like--she's on top of your care. She makes sure you're always comfortable, bribes you with kisses to get you to take the buckleys or whatever it is that she finds when she checks another pharamacy after a bit of apprenticing one day

you also sleep a lot, and Amanda pretty much acts as your body pillow??

the minute you're tiredly pressing your face against her shoulder, she's just kind of happy to let you sleep as you please because she wants you to get better

generally, she's very attentive and is quick to get you what you need when you need it.

[trooperst-3v3]

Hi…

I’m Matt…

I’m a radar technician…

(Oooookay. So we're doing this again. It was slightly more believable when he wasn't translucent, but if it keeps him out of trouble, I'll bite. Maybe it'll be fun.)

Hello. . . Matt. Welcome back. Haven't seen you around in ages. Thought you'd left us to join the Final Order or something. How are things these days?

[deatheless]

@nearestend sent: tell people i was fun. / accepting.

❛ oh, shut up, you big baby. you're not dying, you just tripped. ❜ but despite her words and her patented noah ripley speaking to me eyeroll, there's a ripple of real concern in her voice. she's seen him drunk before, probably more times than she can count, but this is ... something else. usually he can stand on his own two feet, at the very least. mina frowns, arms crossed as she watches him lean ( over - dramatically, yes, but he kind of doesn't look like he could actually stand back up if he tried, either ) against the wall, an undercurrent of worry cutting through the haze of alcohol in her chest with an uncomfortable twist. she gives it another moment, just to see what he'll do, and he still doesn't move. yeah, it's not really funny anymore.

mina sighs, stepping a bit closer with a slight wobble — and a silent curse towards the earlier her who decided to wear these stupid fucking boots — before she reaches for noah. with a mumbled jeeeesus christ ( because shit, she's not as weak as she looks, but she sure isn't strong ) and a mental check that she's as solid on her feet as she can be in this state, she scoops him up from under his arms, hefting him against her side in an attempt to get him at least a little closer to vertical again rather than his previously slow crawl towards horizontal. somewhat impressively, she doesn't stumble under his weight, but that may change considering he's really doing the bare minimum here. come on, noah, you're not that out of it ( right? ). give her a hand here. she jostles him slightly, prodding him lightly in the side before nodding towards the thankfully fairly empty seating area.

❛ oooookay, we're gonna go sit on the couch. and i'm not carrying you there unless you want to end up on the floor, so you're gonna have to walk with me a little, okay? help me out here, dude, i know you can do it. ❜ because if he can't, they've got way bigger problems than her ( um, totally understandable, she thinks! ) inability to carry a grown man across the floor, and she doesn't think either of them are prepared for that.

[basuralindo]

For the character thing

Malleus, Floyd, Jamil

Ah, I see you want me to be writing for the rest of my life... (jk. thanks for the ask!)

I just finished answering this for Jamil in another ask over here:

As for the other twooooo

Malleus:

What I love about them: Autism creature fr. tbh I've had a long-standing crush on Maleficent, so I just about screamed when I saw him. But also he's so much more endearing than I expected? They really went "let's do tall dark and mysterious but we're gonna make him So Fucking Weird" and I appreciate that. Like all the fairies, I like that they didn't make him just, basically human but kinda fancy, they went all the way with making him very much a different species with different behaviors and culture and everything. I also love that he's the super powerful ancient being, but absolutely not wise. This dude is sheltered to the point of clueless. He has a beloved tamagotchi. He's just so very much a person, with flaws and quirks and issues and curiosity. I just love that they made him realistically overpowered, but not conventionally cool about it in the slightest.

What I hate about them: (prior to book 7, which I haven't read yet) Aside from being lonely and autistic, he hasn't been given much depth that I've seen. And I get that it's hard to show depth with a character who's major issue is being withdrawn and socially stunted, so like, I'm sure it's all in due time, but yeah. Basically he sparks joy, but I'm still left wanting more out of him as a character.

Favorite Moment/Quote: His lab coat vignette. Every moment if that. I love that he's pledged a grand favor to Deuce because he knew how to use a screwdriver.

What I would like to see more focus on: ydxrudut this fucking thing ate my answer and now I've lost steam sorry. I wanna see more focus on interpersonal relationships, more interaction with characters treating him more like a peer. And I wanna see more of his internal thoughts and reasoning (I'm sure we're learning more about him actively in book 7, but again, I haven't read it yet...)

What I would like to see less focus on: I think my biggest issue is that there's not enough focus on him in general. I guess I wanna see less of him being mysterious and estranged while everyone avoids him out of fear. Let this man socialize!!

Favorite pairing with: I don't insert myself much into games like this, so I haven't given the MC any real personality at all? But I really like the setup for him and the MC anyway. Aside from that, my bf has been convincing me to appreciate Malleus/Leona, and I like the idea of Malleus/Idia.

Favorite friendship: Can't not mention Great Uncle Lilia, Grandpappy To All, but that's more mentorship than friendship I guess. At least he talks to him without fear or reverence. I haven't seen much of anyone else really going out of their way to interact with him except Cater, which would be cute. I love the idea of Deuce befriending him just cause he's a ballsy enough mf to face him in a fight on principle, and now that Malleus has pledged peace between their houses, maybe they can have a mutual respect friendship. I love Deuce tbh.

NOTP: Malleus/anyone from diasomnia. Just, one watched him grow up, and he watched the other two grow up. Not my thing.

Favorite headcanon: .....I don't think I have any for him, I'm sorry.

Floyd:

What I love about them: Everything. I love this fucked up noodle of a man. He's cute, he's awful, he's hot, he's funny, he's a menace. He's the one who's hand I took at the start of the game. I have a lot more thoughts on him, but they're hard to articulate. I appreciate the mental illness, I like that it negatively impacts him as well as others, I love that he's very much intelligent and capable but it's clearly nerfed by his mental health. I like that he does actually look out for people at times, like at camp with the mushroom, or trying to protect and advise Epel during beanfest. Also? Also??? He's the fucking, eel on the right from little mermaid. They spun this dude off a fucked up looking eel. Not a talking eel. Just a fucking eel. That's one of my favorite things about him btw, absolute power move. Also morays have been one of my favorite animals since early childhood. Speaking of eels, I'm so so so so so glad they made mermaids monstrous in this story!!! I've been sick to death of sweet pretty mermaids for YEARS, I cannot describe how much I've been craving monster mermaids! And not only that, they gave the eels actual eel traits! I love this stringy motherfucker! (also he reminds me of both the guy who taught me to laugh, and this very tall juggalo who was best friends with a guy I dated in highschool and it brings back fond chaotic memories)

What I hate about them: I... don't.... There's so many terrible things about him but tbh everything that's not endearing makes me laugh. Character of All Time.

Favorite Moment/Quote: Well, I have a bit of a shipping fixation involving this man, so I'm never gonna be over the beanfest moment of telling Jamil that he's the best part of the event before proceeding to hunt him for sport. I also loved pretty much everything in the camp event. Floyd brings me joy every time he's on screen lbr.

What I would like to see more focus on: I want to see more emotional depth, like thoughts and hobbies and less manic moments around the people he actually cares about. I wanna delve into every possible facet of this guy.

What I would like to see less focus on: Make him less Random XD. They've shown that he DOES have reasoning and pattern to his seemingly chaotic behavior, I want more exploration of that somehow.

Favorite pairing with: Jamiiiiiilllll. Also Azul. If I had to depart from my ot4, I guess it'd be Idia? And that is exclusively for the joy of terrorizing Idia.

Favorite friendship: I really like his friendship with Vil, I enjoy seeing him interact with people who won't be intimidated into taking any of his shit. And, of course, I love the dynamic between him and Jade.

NOTP: Riddle does not spark joy.

Favorite headcanon: I choose to believe he has bipolarII, I can't remember what else is headcanon vs actual canon rip

[growling]

ep3 + ep4 + ep5

ep3:

h u h

utena only has one thing on her mind i see

OOOOOKAY,

noncon sesh to assert dominance

YURI

"right now, you are the cutest girl in the whole wide world" yesss this is how we expand the sub pool

yuri

yuri is real

episode nearly over all i have to say is yuri has become officially real

:3

ep4:

ah yes slime. starting off strong i see

not in front of the kids man!!

well that was easy

rematch she has. skdjh covered up next time. thats cool magenta now tell me what is the point of this dfgh..................

ah i see. that is very understandable carry on

i think she knows guys

we're so back

sowwyyyyy too genuinely invested rn to keep on sports commentating as often..

ep5:

love how there is just. zero men in this whatsoever. not even in the background. they reproduce like those lizards

child

"its sus as hell" MAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTOPMAKEITSTO

magenta zero braincell queen

i am not strong enough for this

you could fill out a bingo card with every single fetish this anime has included

azure you are NOT mommy get your shit together we are Under attack!! you are our gunner; man hte weapons and defend the team with y our life!!!!!

power reveal yayy

yay for yuri

i feel like i know whats gonna happen again,

kiwi. kiwi

get this kid a sewing kit. give her a needle nothing will happen

KIWI

just noticed utena's lil fangs

utena do not fuck this up girl please

yay :DD

uh oh guess thats the part!! i was getting a bit anxious because were almost done with the episode and there hasnt been a second sexual assault scene yet, as is customary,

they even aged her up for this ADFHSKJFHREHGDFJHJ

kiwi horny jail

korisu is officially my bestie now shoutout to korisu

gushing over magical girls episode 1 vine boom

i read like only a part of the blurb (i like to not know what the hell is going on at any given time) so yeah apparently theres just some girl that likes magical girls and gets excited over having been informed of having Cool Powers but it turns out she transforms into a villain instead. is that gonna be that dark blue hair specimen ive been seeing in google image gallery orrr

ah yeah she is lol

ok lesbian

ong it's kyubey's evil homunculus shadow self

i don't think tits move like that but i appreciate the effort

im love her- Heyeyeeyeyeyy inTRO DAMN WHAT'S GOINH ON LET'S SLOW DOWN MMABYE

i lvove gay people

go queen give us nothing

i trust the shadow kyubey with my heart it would never betray me

leave my girl alone cancel the torment

and they even gave her a crop........ chrsiist almighty

FREAKY FLOWER????

NOT THE TENTACL- Pull yourself together Ashley accept the reality of the situation . Let go babe turn on the "be prepared for every fucking thing" switch and activate your evil mode I know this isn't your heart . Ok I'm good now reborn anew we shall continue on,

most insane yet typical 10 minutes of my life god bless

yeah sure that sounds reasonable .

dark hair girl whose name i forgot getting her sadist awakening we love to see it. shoutout to sadists gotta be one of my favourite genders (waves at u yomi)

somethig wrong wit her

i still cannot decide whether i am or aren't the target audience for this. nevertheless what a fascinating sight to behold

my girl utena living the dream rn

shoutout to hiiragi utena one of my favourite freaks

oh cool. we actually got anime transformation logic. still funny though

yay venalita or velinata or velita or whatever ur name was give me like 5 more episodes before i officially stop forgetting

damn what kinda fetish are they gonna utilize at the factory this time

got my answer. ah yes that sounds perfectly reasonable. how did i not think of this

this too is yuri. broadening the definition of gay sex

these 20 minutes have changed me as a person. which isnt hard to do as i can barely be considered a person anyway in this state

poggers 👍

[leiawritesstories]

Since Frederick and Bob have been on a rampage lately

I saw a video where a husband was making a dish with the food that was telling the size of the baby and I thought Chef Rowan would be that dad that could do that 🤔🤔🤔 (like the baby is the size of a plum today, an avocado, a grapefruit...)

if anyone would do this, it would be chef Rowan ;)

word count: 1,053

warnings: slightly suggestive jokes

enjoy!!

Sugar Pie Pumpkin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Ro--" Aelin took a deep, sharp inhale, catching the distinct scent of warm spices and pumpkin floating out of the kitchen. "You filming a lesson or something?"

Rowan chuckled softly, dropping a kiss atop her hair. His hands and apron were covered with flour. "Just baking a little something for us, love. We can't let pumpkin season go by, can we?"

"Absolutely not," she agreed, resting one hand atop her baby bump as the little one kicked, "Your child apparently thinks the same."

"As she should."

Aelin raised a brow. "She?"

Rowan grinned crookedly. "I'm pretty sure it's a girl, love."

"Oh, and you'd know that because..." She trailed off, waiting for him to express his vast knowledge.

He shrugged, wiping one floury hand across his black apron. "Uh, baby websites?"

Aelin broke into laughter, bracing one hand on the doorframe to keep herself upright. "Someone's a pro, hmm?"

"I know things about babies!" Rowan protested, his adorable little blush turning swiftly into a smirk. "Including the very best ways to create them."

"You stop that," Aelin warned, though she very much wanted to let her gloriously shirtless chef boyfriend prove his knowledge to her.

He chuckled. "All right, I--" The oven's obnoxious beeping interrupted him. "Gotta get that!" Swiftly, he leaned down and kissed her bump, instantly shifting her mood from playful to teary in seconds.

Damn hormones.

"We're taking a bath," she warned him as she left the kitchen. "It's been a heck of a damn day."

He blew her a kiss from his position at the oven, reaching in to check whatever he had baking. "I'll tell you when dinner's ready."

~

After her very relaxing bath, Aelin sauntered down to dinner dressed in fuzzy socks, Rowan's giant oversized t-shirt, and absolutely nothing else. Though the shirt hung loose enough on her to conceal that little fact.

Heck, she was pregnant and regular clothes didn't always agree with the comfort both she and the baby wanted, so she'd take every chance she got to not wear pants in the privacy of her own home.

"What's dada made for us?" she grinned, wrapping her arms around Rowan's waist from behind.

He turned around and splayed one now-clean hand on her bump, feeling the baby shift and flutter beneath his touch. "Chicken fajitas."

Her stomach loosed a rather loud grumble. "I approve."

That little smirk of his bloomed into a wide grin. "I can tell."

"Quiet," she laughed. "You did this to me...Chef."

"And I'd do it all over again," he murmured into her ear, promise darkening his words.

"Oh, I know." Her eyes sparked with mischief.

He smirked and pulled her chair out for her, gentleman that he was. "But I wouldn't dare come between my pregnant Fireheart and her beloved food."

"Damn right," Aelin returned, beaming.

She was full and content by the time Rowan returned from taking care of the dishes. That warm pumpkin scent from earlier grew stronger, and her gaze immediately flicked to the pie plate in his hands.

To the delectable-looking pumpkin pie he carried.

Suddenly, her stomach and her baby decided they had room for more.

"What's that, Chef?"

"This," he declared, placing the pie down on the table, "is a pumpkin pie. Made from a sugar pie pumpkin, of course." Proudly, he displayed a miniature orange pumpkin, small enough that it sat comfortably in just one of his ridiculously large hands.

"Oooookay." Aelin's brows furrowed slightly. "What's the importance of using that kind of pumpkin, Chef?"

"Well," he grinned, placing the pumpkin down on the table. "First, sugar pie pumpkins are the best variety for cooking, since their flesh is sweeter and less stringy than the ones used for carving. Also..." The bright pine hue of his eyes went molten as he slipped his gaze down to her bump. "This li'l pumpkin is approximately the size of our baby right now."

For at least the sixth time that day, tears welled up in Aelin's eyes. "Ro," she breathed, that beautiful pie of his suddenly making sense, "gods, I love you so much."

He smiled softly, his rough callouses soft against her cheeks as he brushed away her tears. "Don't cry, baby."

"Can't help it," she sniffled. "You and your child are doing this to me, you old sap, and you know it."

"I know it," he agreed. "Do you want some pie, baby?"

"Which one of us are you talking to?" she teased.

He grinned, kneeling down to kiss her bump. "Both of you, of course."

She tangled her hand into his messy hair, willing herself not to sob as he tenderly kissed her baby bump. "Of course we want pie, love."

"Good." He cut her a generous slice, dolloping a healthy amount of whipped cream atop the rich orange slice.

She dipped her finger in the topping and licked it off, sliding her tongue around her fingertip. "Delicious," she purred, winking slyly.

Rowan's throat bobbed thickly. "Baby," he rasped, dropping into his seat, heat flickering in his eyes.

Aelin winked. "Here, Chef, let me give you a taste." Locking her twinkling eyes on his smoldering ones, she fed him a forkful of the pie, warmth pooling low in her core at the way he sighed, deep and smoky and promising.

"Eat up, love," he rumbled.

She flashed him a smirk and turned her attention to the pumpkin pie, moaning softly at the deliciousness of it. "My gods, Ro, this is amazing."

"Glad you enjoy," he hummed, quietly resting one hand stop her bare thigh. And sliding his fingers slowly upwards to find--

To find that she wasn't wearing anything beneath that shirt.

"You're trying to kill me," he groaned, keeping his hand curled high on her thigh, so so close to her throbbing core.

"I'm just staying comfortable," she smirked, licking the few crumbs of pie crust off of her lips.

Rowan's dark, burning gaze tracked the motion of her tongue. "Finished, baby?"

"Not yet, but I'm sure you'll deliver."

She was rewarded with him coughing violently, a wheezing laugh erupting from his chest. "Gods, I love you."

"Love you more."

He smirked, gathering her into his arms as he stood up, brushing a caress over her bump. "Love you too, pumpkin."

Gods damn her, she was going to cry again.

~~~

TAGS:

@charlizeed

@cretaceous-therapod

@clea-nightingale

@autumnbabylon

@nerdperson524

@fireheartwhitethorn4ever

@morganofthewildfire

@rowanaelinn

@wesupremeginger

@stardelia

@shanias-world

@mybloodrunsblue

@swankii-art-teacher

@wordsafterhours

@cookiemonsterwholovesbooks

@violet-mermaid7

@holdthefrickup

@goddess-aelin

@rowaelinismyotp

@dealfea

@irondork

@elentiyawhitethorn

@live-the-fangirl-life

@darling-im-the-queen-of-hell

@chronicchthonic14

@lovely-dove-zee

@sweet-but-stormy

@hanging-from-a-cliff

@jorjy-jo

@rowaelinrambling

@thegreyj

@silentquartz

@backtobl4ck

@throneofus7

@elizarikaallen

@llyncooljones

@booknerdproblems

@julemmaes

@earthtolinds

[adiduck]

📓

Oooookay here we go! What first...

...You know what? For you, Glimmer, I'mma talk about the one (1) nsfw fic I have partially planned. It's codywan, in case anyone's interested in that. Under a cut because. Well!

The war is over! How the war is over is unimportant (I know, and the canon divergence happens at Umbara, but that's a whole different fic we're not talking about right now). What's important is Palpatine is dead, the o66 went out but was only PARTIALLY successful, the clones are all currently dechipped, and in the Senate a bill for Clone Rights has made it to Committee. As far as the more conservative senators are concerned, it can die there.

Cody has been selected to be interviewed as the Marshal Commander of the Third Systems Army and therefore a natural representative for the clones of the GAR. He's been working on this Bill since its inception with a few allies in the Senate, including Chancellor Organa. The Jedi, due to a NUMBER of... shall we say obvious conflicts, are not involved (publicly, we'll get to that). He has his interview, and it goes, shall we say... about as poorly as they expected.

Cody's furious, full of all this pent-up frustration at this situation, at the people who refuse to look at him and see a person, at all the work he has put into this stupid bill and the fact that it may just lead to NOTHING, his brothers and himself stuck in a limbo where they aren't even PEOPLE under the law of the land, trapped in a contract with the Republic they didn't even sign, and who gets to DECIDE what makes a person anyway, why is it these old stuffy assholes who have never, ever had to question whether they would be considered ALIVE under the law, who have had the natural opportunities and experiences that denote their developmental age and meanwhile, MEANWHILE--

Cody goes to a bar. While he is at the bar, a random young man approaches him and shoots his shot.

It ends in the back of the bar with Cody getting the first handjob he has ever received.

It's... fine? Cody isn't really sure what the POINT is, honestly, some of his brothers go NUTS for sex but he's never really had time, though obviously he's been curious--

He goes back to the horrible little set of rooms in the GAR barracks he's been assigned as befitting his rank, and sees there's a call from Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, of course, is off doing relief work off-world, since the Jedi are NOT SUPPOSED TO BE INVOLVED. Obi-Wan, of course, is using his off-hours to call Cody up and help anyway. Obi-Wan wants to know how the interview went.

Cody's out of sorts during the call, to the point Obi-Wan notices. Not wanting to tell Obi-Wan about this experience and not QUITE sure why, Cody blames his mood on the interview, and when they end the call, Cody's feeling restless, ill-fitting in his own skin and not sure why.

He keeps thinking about the hand job, which wasn't THAT bad he supposes. Maybe he just didn't really... control for the right variables? Maybe that guy just wasn't very good at this. Maybe Cody needs to try again, except maybe he can do a better job planning it out so he can actually... decide if he likes it...

Cody sits down and starts doing some research.

Cody makes a list.

Cody makes an action plan.

The story goes from there.

[keefsteef]

saw your rbed ask on rach's page and it got me curious soo warning era queensryche if you're still doing it?

Glad I PIQUED YOUR CURIOSITY 🥴. I'm going to address them by order of appearance because I've not much knowledge of the band and their names, so if you wouldn't mind telling me after the fact that'd be great ✨!

1. Oooookay, a two-toned pants moment. I also see he's got a fishing-net situation going on on his shoulder, and a nut-and-bolt ordeal on the vest.

The color palette? There's nothing wild going on, I like it! But the overall unity, I feel like he could've gave us more. The shirt bolts could have very well also embellished the sides of his pants, or even the waist area! Small details like that are more impactful to fashion thirsters such as myself.

That snake bracelet is totally random and can go somewhere far away, though. The wraps work well as just black, but a grey to emphasize his shoulder detailing wouldn't have killed anyone.

But the outfit does still work, it's just a bit bland to me.

2. Oh hey he's hot, but unlike the flames on his shirt alluded to, the outfit is not. I'm sorry but in comparison to what everyone else has going on, I'd swear he was a fan and not a member. It has no flare, it isn't doing anything for me.

Plus he's not coordinating omggg everyone's having a chest peak moment and he's there in a t-shirt. Without totally changing his entire look I can't really fix this as it is.

I would have gave him a vest similar to 1's with yellow lines going down the side like his pants, a yellow headband, he could keep the wrist wraps, and then possibly a some sort of dangle-necklace, those always work well when you've got your chest out.

Now this may make him look like he came right out of Stryper but 😩☠️ it'd of been cute.

3. OKAY A SINGLET-SHIRT, those and chest hair are always a happy couple, so I do like that. It also has a yellow-edge to match with 2's pants, and we're back to bolts to match with 1's vest.

I'm not feeling that mix-and match belt extravaganza. I can tell whoever did that thought it'd be extravagant, but it's out of place. A ring... And a square... And punch-holes... And diamond rhines... hahaha. Good-bye to the ringed belt, goodbye to the golden diamond rhines.

Keep the square buckle, replace the golden rhines with silver sequin, because the base of the shirt is sequin and silver bolts.

Take away whatever that extra shirt is under the main shirt, and make that glove black with yellow trim. I get he's coordinating the white with 4, but if we're talking a stand alone outfit choice, GOODBYE!

4. He's adorable first of all 🥴✨, and frankly the only thing I'm really not into about his outfit is the belt. It's tacky, I would have put him in a more glam chain-like belt made of bolts. But his outfit works in its own sense, the wrist wraps, the shirt style, everything. Maybe a white line going down the sides of the pants if you wanted to get fancy, but it really doesn't need it.

5. Not him being sexy and having a sexy outfit! It's like his outfit has all the elements I gave to everyone else's COMBINED, I LOVE THE DIRECTION OF IT!

Not digging the purple as far as coordination with his other members goes, no one else is in purple and it's making me tick. Well.... wellllll, a darker black-purple?! I just don't like the brightness of the purple, it isn't ugly but it just doesn't please me.

A darker color would've made the little yellow detailing pop more, which would have been hot. But again I do actually like the design of it, I can't get mad at it.

Anyway this has been the Queensyrche fashion show thanks for reading my judgmental nonsense 🤩✨

[deanandthephantoms]

We're a Perfect Harmony PT.6 - Reader x Charlie

Summary: Another camp came and went, what happens now that Charlie and Y/N are living a whole lot closer to each other? will anything happen at all? I guess you're gonna have to read to find out ;) A/N: I feel like i should start off by apologizing for making you guys wait so long.. life just got crazy busy, so sorry! I would also like to thank @i-thought-i-knew-what-love-was and @julie-thefatones for helping me out with this chapter. <3 Wordcount: 4120 Other Chapters: 1 / 2 / 3/ 4 / 5 Taglist: @happinessinthedarkesttimes , @xsunsetcurve , @ifilwtmfc , @nani-2305 , @wanniiieeee (just message me if you want to be added to the list haha)

So much for your happy ending..

When the bus comes to a halt Charlie is the first one to wake up. “Nugget?” he says almost whispering and I wake up to him softly shaking me. As soon as I open my eyes the realization hits that I’m all cuddled up to him in a bus filled with camp people.. Ohhh this is BAD I think to myself while instantly sitting up straight. “Morning sleepyhead.. this is my stop..” he tells me with a smile that doesn’t fully reach his eyes. “oh.. oh right!” I get up so Charlie can get out of our seats. Before he gets of the bus he wraps me in his arms in a tight hug. “I’m gonna miss you y/n..” “I’m gonna miss you too chewie.” I mumble into his chest and he lets out a laugh. “never really gonna get used to that name I think.” He then lets go of me and continues: “But we're gonna meet up again soon right?” I smile up at him “ Yeah I’d really like that.” We give each other one last hug and then I watch him get off the bus. The second he gets off is the second I start missing him but at least, I now know I wouldn't have to miss him for an entire year.

Only 40 minutes later I find myself at home too, the silence being just as overwhelming as it was last year. The story I get to tell my mom being even better than last year, she can’t help but notice the fact that the stories surrounding Charlie make me smile just that bit bigger. “You really like this guy don’t you?” She at one point interrupts me. I raise an eyebrow at her “Don’t get your hopes up mom, we’re just friends. But you’re right he is very important to me.” She smiles at that answer “If you say so honey.” I roll my eyes at her “I’m serious mom! He has a girlfriend so me and him are just friends.” “Well you know what they say honey. Everything can be broken.” I look at her in genuine shock, did she really just say that? “MOOOM!” she just laughs at me “I’m not saying you should break them up. I’m just saying that the fact he has a girlfriend now doesn’t mean he’ll have that girlfriend for the rest of his life…” I’m still not fully believing my mom is actually saying all of this.. “Oooookay… I think this is my cue to go upstairs and lie down for a bit..” I say while getting up from the couch and making my way upstairs.

I lie down on my bed but before I let myself drift off to sleep I decide to check in on Charlie. “Hey you! How are you holding up? If you ever need me I’m here okay? 😊” I almost instantly get a reaction “Not even passed out as soon as you got home? I’m impressed nugget! Thanks for checking on me though. I’m fine!” i sigh, I’m fine? I hated that I couldn’t see his face right now, his face would have told me if he was actually fine or not. Now I was gonna have to trust him on his word and i'm not sure that i could.. i had no other choice though so i reply : “I mean.. I had a pretty good sleep on the drive home, so you know.. didn’t feel the need to pass out right away! Glad to hear you’re doing okay!” “Yeah I noticed, thanks for drooling all over my shoulder btw 😉!” I felt my eyes grow wide, drooling over his shoulder? I didn’t actually do that right? I don’t think I noticed a wet spot on his shoulder when hugging him goodbye.. “I DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO THAT DID I?” “Haahahhaha, Calm down. You didn’t I’m just messing with ya!” I swear I could hear his laugh in my head when I read that. I knew he liked to mess with me and I kept falling for it.. was I ever gonna learn? Did I even want to learn? If I was being honest I actually kinda liked it when he was messing with me? For some reason I actually thought it was funny instead of annoying.. I had to give it to him this boy really could get away with anything.

After camp Charlie and I soon fell back into our routine of texting all day and Face timing all night until eventually one of us (usually me) would pass out. Weeks passed just like that and all things considered Charlie seemed to be doing okay. He definitely had his down moments and even though he wouldn’t always tell me he was feeling down, I got quite good at noticing when something wasn’t right. Which then led to him being honest with me and in the end thanking me for always listening to him. At this point in time he was actually feeling good about living with his grandma, he of course missed his dad terribly much but had admitted that it was really nice to not live in constant tension anymore. The peace that came with it had been more welcome than he had imagined. And apparently charlie’s mom enjoyed being closer to her own mom too cause they were now looking for their own place around here. Looks like Charlie is here to stay for a while not that we had met up yet like we said we would.. but this was gonna give me the opportunity do so many many times. maybe I should just ask him to hang out sometime? But what if he doesn’t want to? I don’t wanna seem weird or needy? My overthinking is stopped by the buzzing of my phone.

I’m surprised to see Emma’s name on the screen. Emma? I hadn’t spoken to her since the moment she left camp I wonder what she wants? I think to myself as I open her text “Hey Y/N! How are you doing?” Oh so she’s just checking in with me? That’s nice! “Hey Emma! I’m doing pretty good actually, how are you? 😊” “Glad to hear that! I’m not doing to well actually..” “ohh..what’s up ems?” There’s a few minutes of being left on read before I get an answer “I’m thinking about breaking up with Charlie..” That is the last thing I expected her to say and I just sit there in shock for a moment not sure of what to say to her. Should I try and stop her? Save Charlie from heartbreak? Should I encourage her? Should I tell Charlie about this? “Em.. Are you sure about this? What is making you think about doing this?” “Well.. I kind of haven’t been in love with him for about 6 months now… but I he means so much to me I don’t want to lose him.. so I’m thinking of asking him to take a break so I can figure my own feelings out.” 6 MONTHS? SHE HAS NOT LOVED HIM FOR 6 MONTHS? No wonder she was so chill with me and Charlie hanging out at camp.. SHE DIDN’T FREAKING CARE ANYMORE. I feel myself getting mad.. how could she do this to him?! I wanted to yell at her I wanted to call Charlie now and tell him what was going on. But that was not my place.. so I take a deep breath and try to reply as calmly as I can “Ooh..jeesh Emma this is not good… this is not fair to him. you got to talk to him about this he deserves to know the truth..” “No I know y/n.. I’ll talk to him.. Thanks for your advice.. I’ll keep you up to date!” My advice?! All I did was telling her to talk to Charlie about this, she couldn’t have come up with that herself?! Why did she even include me in this? It’s not gonna take long before Charlie starts talking about this to me.. and I’m not even gonna be able to say anything.. I hated it.

I can barely finish that thought before I see Charlies name pop up on my screen and I instantly open his message “Nugget.. help? Emma wants to talk to me.. this can’t be good right?” No Charlie, you're right it is far from good, she's gonna straight up break your heart. is what I wanted to say so desperately but couldn’t.. “Oh eh I don’t know? it could be about anything right? Did she say anything about what or when?” “yeah I guess.. she didn’t say anything about the topic but she wanted to do it later this week. But something is up i cant tell.. so I told her I needed her to talk to me tonight and she eventually agreed..” SHE WAS GONNA MAKE HIM WAIT AS WELL? THIS GIRL… “good that you told her she needed to talk to you today. Whatever it is it’s better to get it out of the way right?.. Keep me up to date okay Chewie?” “Yeah I will.” “Good luck!*hug*”

Poor dude.. he had no clue what was coming for him.. the rest of the day I feel restless, I feel like a horrible person for keeping something so big from Charlie and I can’t help but try to imagine what he must be feeling right now. The silence from his side is way too long and way too loud to my liking.. I'm literally about to fall asleep when my phone buzzes and I see it’s a text from Charlie my heartbeat instantly quickens.. “hey.. you still awake?” “Yeah of course I am Charlie.. You okay?” typing dots appear and they disappear again. That happens a few times and I’m starting to get worried.. “No.. No I’m not. I broke up with her.” That catches me of guard.. He broke up with her? What happened there? “You what? What happened?” “ Well long story short, she basically told me she hadn’t really been in love with me anymore for the past six months, so she asked me to have a little break so she could figure out her feelings? I’m not gonna sit here and wait for her to maybe fall back in love with me y/n. if she was gonna love me again that would have happened already, so I had to end things with her.” before i can say something charlie adds "I'm so mad and heartbroken at the same time.. you know what she meant to me and then she does this.." I wanted nothing more than to wrap him into a hug right now but I couldn’t.. so I did the next best thing I could come up with “ I’m so sorry Charlie, this is not what you deserved at all.. I don’t even really know what to say right now.. I just want to give you a big hug. Do you maybe want to meet up tomorrow? Hang out? Talk about things or distract yourself for a while? If not that’s totally fine too!” All of my doubts form before were out of the window all I knew was that Charlie now needed a friend and I was ready to be that friend if he wanted me to. “I would love that Nugget. I could use a hug from you right now.” “Well hold that thought. Tomorrow I’ll give you all the hugs you need.” Charlie and I text a bit more and then decide on meeting up in a park that’s , by bus, only 15 minutes away from both of our houses.

The next day I wake up bright and early, I can’t help but feel a bit nervous about meeting Charlie today. We’ve had spend plenty of time together on camp and it had been just the two of us plenty of times then. But now outside of camp and in those circumstances of him being heartbroken but also single for the first time.. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I just knew I was gonna be a friend to him, setting all my own feelings aside and focusing on his. Making sure he was okay cause after all that’s all I really cared about. I’m about to get out of my bed when my phone buzzes it’s a message from Charlie saying that he can’t wait to hug me in a few hours. I tell him I can’t wait to give him all the hugs either and then decide on taking a shower.

Even though he has literally seen me at worst, in my grossest clothing and even though I know he wouldn’t care what I showed up in I decide on making an effort. Curling my hair, putting on the tiniest bit of make-up, wearing my new Linkin park shirt with a cute flannel on top.. it may not sound like much but for someone who usually doesn’t put in any effort this was quite something, maybe deep down I hoped he would be slightly impressed or at least would like the way I looked.. I go downstairs to have some breakfast and then leave the house on my way to the park. Lucky for us it’s a nice day out not too hot and not too cold, the sun was out a perfect day to chill outside really. Before I know it I’m standing at the bus stop right in front of the park waiting for Charlie to arrive. His bus arrives only 5 minutes later, but those 5 minutes felt like the longest 5 minutes of my life. Just seeing that bus and knowing he was in there made my heartbeat speed up and as soon as I first see him my heart skips a beat. All I wanna do is run up to him and fly around his neck and never let go but I contain myself not knowing what he needs or wants right now I was gonna have to let him take the lead and let me know what I could do for him right now.

As soon as it’s safe Charlie runs onto the street towards me, in pure instinct I open my arms for him and he runs into them picking me up and spinning me around before putting me down again but not letting go of me. I had gotten a lot of hugs from him and they always had been tight but this might have been the tightest one yet he clearly wasn’t lying when he told me he needed this. “hey” is all I can get myself to say while being wrapped up in his hug, there’s no reply coming from him and for a second I’m not sure what to do or say next so I just hold him. “wanna.. maybe take a walk?” I ask him after something that felt like 30 minutes but was probably more like a minute. I can feel him nod and then he slowly lets go of me.

We make our way into the park and just start wandering around. I want to ask him how he's doing i wanna know if he's okay, but that feels like a stupid thing to ask cause he clearly isn't doing okay right now. But then what do you ask or say to someone who had just gotten his heartbroken? should i maybe say something completely random? get his mind away from where ever it was at? I was desperately trying to come up with something but nothing seemed good enough so we just walked in silence for a good while. Then out of no where Charlie takes my hand in his. "can we sit down for a second?" he asks me while pointing towards a bench up ahead. i give his hand a light squeeze "Yeah, of course. we'll do whatever you want Charlie." He leads me to the bench and then sits down, still holding his hand i sit down next to him as i wait for him to say something.

I can see him taking a big breath in before finally saying something. "She really meant the world to me you know.." i was not gonna lie. He had mentioned before that she was so important to him but in the times i saw them together had never really seen or understood why.. as if he was reading my mind he continued "probably didn't always look like that huh? I know you mainly saw things not going as smooth between me and her. i know you heard me complain about her.. but she really did make me happy.." I give his hand a squeeze "It doesn't matter what i saw or heard Char, she made you happy i believe you..I.." He shakes his head "I don't need you to believe me Y/n, i need you to understand.." "Okaay, talk to me then.."

Charlie takes another deep breath "alright, so uuhh.. i met her almost 4 years ago but 4 years ago i wasn't the person that i am now. 4 years ago i was at a very low point in life, my parents had just started getting into bigger and more intense fights. i had to go to a new school cause that whole thing wasn't going well, which apparently also ment losing some of my best friends, i really liked this girl but she ended up being the worst, she played me and stole from me. people at my new school really had it out for me and took every opportunity they could find to bring me down.. it's not that i hated myself during that time but i did hate life, i felt like i was going through everything all alone, felt like no one cared or understood, felt like i didn't even care about anything anymore. I was lonely, scared, lost in life and that's when i met Emma. She was nice to me, she was willing to hang out with me, she loved the same music, we had fun, she introduced me to her friends, she dragged me along to things she went to.. She gave me back an actual life, with her i had a place where i belonged, where i felt home and safe. She pulled me out of the depression i was in.. If there's a God i was convinced she was a gift from him to me.." "i.. Charlie i had no idea.. i'm so sorry" he gives me a small smile "it's okay, you couldn't.. most people have no idea. clearly things changed a bit during our relationship though, she turned into this insecure person, she started claiming me, she didn't want me to hang out with other girls even if she knew they were just friends, she mostly wanted to do things with just me.. but through it all she was still that girl who made me feel the things she had been making me feel from the beginning, she was worth it. i gladly gave up half of my life for her cause i loved her.. i still do.. i was really trying to make her happy, to keep her happy to make her truly believe she was the only one for me, to let her know how grateful i was to have her in my life. I tried so hard y/n.. just not hard enough apparently.." My heart is breaking all over again for him, i let go of his hand and wrap my arm around his shoulder sort of hugging him closer to me. "Please don't think like that. You can't blame yourself for this.." a soft, low 'hmm' is all i get as a response. "Charlie. look at me.." he doesn't.. and i sigh, removing my arm from around his shoulder taking his face in my hands forcing him to look at me. "You can't blame yourself for this. you did EVERYTHING for her Charlie. She should be the grateful one, she should have been honest with you months ago.. she wasnt fair to you, yet you gave her everything. She was so lucky to have you. ANYONE would be so lucky to have you. HECK IM SO LUCKY TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE. i will not let you put yourself down because of this Gillespie. I will not let you do that you hear me?"

Charlie just looks at me for a bit while i'm still holding his face and then he laughs, catching me of guard. "i hear you loud and clear.. and i see you very clearly too nugget" i instantly let go of his face "right.. sorry about that i eh.. i don't know why i.. eh.. I just had to make sure i was getting through to you." he smiles at me "Don't worry about it. You did get through to me. You're an amazing person y/n.. you know that right? You're the only one that offered to meet up with me today. Thank you.."

"Hey, no need to thank me. I know you would have done the same for me. This is what we do right? This is what our friendship is. We're here for each other in the good and the bad times." Charlie nods in agreement "true! hey uh.. speaking of good times.. i was supposed to go to this linkin park concert in two weeks.. i was gonna bring Emma with me as a surprise.. do you.. do you maybe wanna go with me?" was he kidding me? A Linkin park concert.. with him? If we didn't just have this deep conversation i would swear this was just a very nice dream.. "I.. YES! i uh.. i mean.. are you sure you want to bring me?" a look of confusion shoots across his face "Why wouldn't i want to bring you? are you kidding me? This friendship basically started with us singing Linkin park. What better way to thank you for everything and celebrate this friendship than going to a concert of the band that started it all?" i throw my arms around charlie pulling in him for the biggest hug "Yes. Yeesss i would love to come with you! Thank you!" i let go of him before continuing "i just.. i thought maybe you would want to bring one of your other friends. Let me know how much the ticket was? i'll repay you!" Charlie shakes his head at me. "nope. I bought it as a gift, it will stay a gift. This is gonna be my first time seeing them live. I'm looking forward to sharing that moment with a best friend like you nugget!" i knew fighting him on this wasn't gonna make a difference, i knew him long enough to know that if he had an idea in mind no one was gonna get it out of there.. we spend the rest of the afternoon just talking and actually end up having a really good time in the park. Sure there were times where Emma came back up and that's okay, this day was all about Charlie and making sure he got had the chance to let it all out, trying to make him feel better. If the amount of times we laughed said something i would say today did him a whole lot of good. We end the afternoon with a very long and tight hug agreeing to meet up again next week to do something fun.

As i'm in the bus on my way home i'm getting lost in my own thoughts.. Would this finally be the start of finally seeing Charlie more often? I for one would not be mad about that, I loved spending time with this boy. I loved this boy, but there's no room for those feelings yet.. I guess only time would tell what was actually gonna happen there.. I at least knew for sure i had the concert to look forward to.. even though i was kinda nervous about that too.. Charlie once mentioned mosh pits and how he thought those were fun.. to me they just seemed scary and i already felt myself getting anxious about possibly getting pulled into one.. HOW WAS I GONNA SURVIVE THAT? I take a deep breath trying to calm myself down, telling myself it will be fun and Charlie would never do that to me.. or maybe i was just hoping really hard he would never do that to me cause what did i know about concert Charlie? i had never gone anywhere with him before.. this was gonna be interesting.

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

This had to asked since I got the idea while dressing my WoL as Ryne. How would Estinien react if he came home to seeing all his kids dressing as Scions for Saint's wake

Estinien grunted, hauling several bags of groceries, and LIGHTLY kicked the door open to their larger apartment. It's that time of year again---Agi loves All Saints' Wake. Fucking loves it. And so do the children. Youngest is always a pumpkin!

Estinien dropped the bags once inside and his mouth dropped at the sight in front of him.

Esme, Hami, Marcelin were dressed as THANCRED FUCKING WATERS?!?!? With little gunblades?!?!? Laurent and Pip were dressed as fucking Alphinaud and Alisaie?!?!? Celestine...FURY'S TITS! WHY IS SHE DRESSED LIKE TATARU!?!?!?!

"BAPA! BAPA! BAPA!" The children yelled and immediately demanded hugs while Celestine toddled her way over and growled. Seriously, why does she growl so much?! Is she mad? Full nappy? Hungry? Wanting cuddles?

"Bapa, do you like our costumes?" Esme asked sweetly. "Uncle Thancred is going to love them!"

Uncle Thancred is going to spar with Bapa AND HAVE HIS ASS BEAT.

"Bapa...Tatawu...fun!" Celestine grinned and holding her little arms up. Tataru is NOT FUN. But I will pick you up, my little one. Estinien lifted the toddler, and she kissed his cheek. "Bapa gonna hug?" YES OF COURSE!

"And we wanted to be Uncle Alphinaud and Auntie Alisaie!" Laurent said, adjusting his glasses. "I'm Alphinaud, and Pip is Alisaie."

Pip struck a dramatic pose and pulled out the fake rapier. "EN-GARAGE!"

Agnes, several moons pregnant with their seventh child, giggled from the kitchen. "Engarde, sweetie. Hi love! Need help with the shopping?"

Estinien shook his head, still holding Celestine. "Nay. I'll have some Scions assist me with the groceries."

The children laughed, and lead by Esme, they dragged bags to the kitchen. Oooookay.

"No one wanted to dress like Bapa? Bapa's a Scion too, you know." Estinien asked with a rueful smile at his wife.

Agnes once again giggled. "Unfortunately we're not popular in this household, love. It's all Thancred, the twins, and Tataru. Maybe next year."

Celestine patted his cheek. "Bapa is a hewwwo! MY HEWWWO!"

The older children chimed in with "Bapa's my hero too!" and Estinien's heart felt as though it might burst.

"And Bapa is my hero too, my little loves. Don't we all love him so much?" Agnes smiled and took Celestine from him.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry...fuck.

[vindicatedvirgil]

lemon boy & i, we're gonna live forever

Summary: Patton’s new neighbor takes some coaxing, but eventually they become closer than anyone could have hoped.

Inspired by the song “Lemon Boy” by Cavetown.

This is a birthday gift for Abby @doublejoywilson! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MOCEIT OVERLORD!!! LOVE YA BUNCHES

Word Count: 2058

Ship: Romantic Moceit (Patton x Janus); background married Prinxiety (Roman x Virgil); familial (sibling) Moxiety

Warnings: food mention

---

Patton was sweet, like the heavily-sugared teas that he would drink under one of the lemon trees in his backyard. He made it a point to be kind to each person he met, even if they did not provide equal cordiality. So, when he heard of a new neighbor moving in, he made it a point to go and meet the man.

Patton knocked on the door, balancing the plate with lemon bars in his spare hand, a smile on his face. After a few moments, the door opened slightly, and all Patton could see was half of his new neighbor’s face.

“Hey there, friend! I’m Patton, your next door neighbor, and I just wanted to welcome you in and give you some of my famous homemade lemon bars!” Patton said cheerily, holding the plate out. The man on the other side of the door blinked at him, then hesitantly took the plate.

“Thanks,” he said quietly, setting the plate off to the side. “If that’s all—”

“Oh, alright. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to come on over! I’m usually out back tending to my garden or my lemon trees, or inside working. Don’t be a stranger!” Patton made a move to turn around, but hesitated, then looked back. “Didn’t catch your name, friend.”

“Janus,” the voice responded before closing the door. Patton twisted his mouth, thinking, then shrugged and headed back home. 

Inside, Janus stared at the plate of lemon bars, this act of kindness new to him. He let himself smile faintly as he took the plate into the kitchen, picking one up and taking a bite. And he had never tasted anything so wonderful in his life.

-

Janus was startled to hear a knock at his door; he put the box he was carrying down and went to it, opening it slightly as to cover the scarred part of his face, to see Patton standing there, a plate of cookies in hand and a smile on his face.

“Hey there, friend! I accidentally made a bunch of extra lemon shortbread cookies today and wondered if you wanted some?” Patton asked, tilting his head to the side as he smiled at Janus, whose mind raced to the lemon bars that he consumed within a day. Janus wondered how accidental the extra cookies were, but he had never tasted such delicious food, so he wasn’t going to complain.

“Sure, Patton… thank you,” he responded, taking the plate. “Um, I’d invite you in but… it’s kind of a mess with all of the boxes…” Patton nodded in understanding. 

“That’s alright, Janus. Hey, how did you like the lemon bars?” he asked, remembering the plate he had delivered just a few days prior. Janus blinked, then his face turned red.

“I… ate them all…” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, a sheepish smile on his face. “I’ve never been a fan of lemons… but your baking is amazing.” Patton beamed, his positivity bleeding through the crack in the door, seeping to Janus.

“I’m so glad you liked them!” He said happily, nearly bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. “Please let me know if you ever want to learn how to bake them! Ooh, or you can come by for dinner this weekend and I’ll make you some more! And my grandmother’s lemonade, and a fresh salad with the greens from my garden—” Patton stopped himself, blushing frantically. “Sorry, I get rambly when food is involved.” Janus blinked, the first thought running through his mind being don’t stop, it’s adorable. He cleared his throat instead.

“That’s alright, Patton,” he replied, nodding. “A home cooked meal sounds nice, I’ve been ordering in all week.” Patton cheered quietly.

“Amazing! Saturday at 5, don’t be late!” With that, the cheerful man skipped down the steps and back to his house, and Janus found himself watching the man until he slipped back into his home. 

-

Patton leaned his elbow on the dining table, mind running with possible dishes to make for Janus. A snapping sound came from his left and he blinked to see Virgil, his younger brother, staring at him. “What’s up with you, Pat?” Roman, who had poured the trio some wine, sat down next to his husband. 

“Hmm? Oh… new neighbor is coming for dinner tomorrow, trying to figure out what to cook for him…” Patton responded, a faint smile on his lips. Roman and Virgil shared a knowing look, and the couple smirked at him.

“Oh, you’ve got it bad,” Roman teased, and Patton flushed bright red, shaking his head. “Don’t deny it, padre. Haven’t seen that look on your face since—” Virgil plastered his hand over his husband’s face, giving him a stern look. Panic tore through Patton until he felt his brother’s hand on his shoulder.

“Breathe, Pat. This isn’t that situation, okay? You’re gonna be fine,” he said reassuringly, and Patton nodded, sighing. As he was about to respond, there was a knock at the door, and Patton blinked. 

“I got it, don’t worry,” Roman said, standing up and heading to the door. When he opened it, he found a scarred man blinking up at him, holding two empty plates. “How can I help you?”

“O-Oh… I’m sorry, I was looking for Patton, I didn’t know he was on a date, I’m sorry—” Janus tried to turn around but was only met with boasting laughter from Roman.

“Oh my god, that’s hilarious,” Roman was nearly bent over from laughing so hard. “My husband would kill me if I was on a date with his big brother.” Janus blanched, then turned red, looking down.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know—” he started, and Roman just gave him a charming smile. Janus took a steadying breath, then continued. “Um, I just wanted to return these plates to Patton, and to see if there was anything I could bring to dinner tomorrow…” 

“Janus!” Patton appeared behind Roman, Virgil on his tail. Janus smiled faintly at him, and Patton beamed. “Thank you for bringing the plates back, and no, you don’t need to bring anything tomorrow other than yourself!” Janus nodded, and Roman took the plates from him, watching as Janus looked from Patton to Virgil to Roman. “Oh! Janus, this is my brother Virgil and his husband Roman. Guys, this is Janus, my new neighbor!”

“He thought I was on a date with ya, Padre,” Roman teased, and Janus turned bright red again. Virgil crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “Oh come on babe, you know I’ve only ever had eyes for you.”

“I know,” Virgil said flatly, a smirk tugging at his lips, then met eyes with Janus. “My big brother must really like you, he never puts in half the effort to plan our weekly dinners—” “Oooookay that’s enough outta you, kiddo,” Patton laughed weakly, trying to push Virgil and Roman back into the kitchen. “You two check on the dinner, okay?” He glared at them until they disappeared, then turned back to Janus, who was watching him carefully. “They’re a bit odd, but they’re family.” Janus nodded.

“It’s nice,” he said, and Patton raised an eyebrow at him. “I don’t really have any close family or friends,” he explained, and Patton frowned. Janus gestured to his scarred face, “that’s what happens when you look the way I do. No big deal.” 

“It is a big deal, Janus. I’m sorry that the people around you couldn’t look past appearances; I know we barely know anything about each other but you don’t deserve to be alone… no one does,” Patton said wholeheartedly, and Janus smiled faintly back. 

“Thanks, Patton… I’ll see you tomorrow,” and with that, Janus turned around and walked home, Patton watching the whole way.

-

Janus sat on a lounge chair in his backyard the following morning in just some swim trunks; absorbing the sunlight was good for him. As he laid there, he suddenly heard some singing come from next door; he listened a bit closer and realized that it was Patton, probably singing to his plants. Curiously, the scarred man stood up and approached the fence, peering over. Patton was in overalls and a blue collared shirt covered with paint stains, his hair pushed back with a fabric headband, and he was kneeling next to his vegetable garden, picking things and placing them in a basket. As he picked and tended to the plants, he sang about a lemon boy, about weeds, about living forever. When his voice faded out and he stood up to pick lemons from the trees, Janus finally spoke up.

“You have a beautiful voice, Patton,” he called, and Patton stumbled, dropping his basket of produce. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I was sunbathing.” 

Patton approached the fence, then stood on a little bench to peer over at Janus. His face turned bright red when he realized that Janus was just wearing shorts. “It’s alright. Um, do you… sunbathe often?”

“At least once a week. It feels good on my skin,” Janus explained, rubbing his scarred arm with his other hand. Patton’s eyes trailed away from Janus’ scarred half, meeting his eyes. “You want to ask what happened, don’t you? Everybody does.”

“No, that’s not what I was thinking,” Patton said honestly. He brushed his dirt-covered hands onto his overalls. “I was thinking that I’ve never seen someone so beautiful.” Janus’ face and neck turned bright red and he stammered.

“I- well… thank you, Patton,” he stumbled over his words, unable to hide his smile. “I should head back inside to finish a little bit of work before tonight… see you later, Patton.” Before Patton could respond, the man had skittered back into his house, leaving Patton with a fluttering heart.

-

“Dinner was delicious, thank you,” Janus broke the silence that had settled over the pair during dinner. Before they ate, they made cordial conversation, dancing around what they both were thinking. Patton had asked what Janus did for a living, and learned that he wrote mystery novels. Likewise, Janus learned that Patton wrote recipes for an online blog.

The two moved to the couch in the living room, glasses of wine in hand. “Your house has a very distinct style, Patton,” Janus commented, and Patton laughed lightly,  nodding.

“My grandmother left me this house, and a lot of this furniture was hers. Vee didn’t want the house, it’s not exactly Ro’s style,” he explained. He watched Janus carefully, then set his wine glass down. “Virgil was right, you know. I don’t normally put in that much effort with meals, but for you, I wanted to make sure everything was perfect… I don’t know what it is, Janus… I just… feel something that I haven’t felt in a very long time.” Janus nodded, looking towards Patton. 

“You remind me of sweet tea,” Janus said plainly, and Patton tilted his head, a smile caught on his lips. “You’re kind, and honey-sweet… but you have to know that I’m a lemon, Patton. I’m bitter and leave a sour taste in people’s mouths.” Patton scooted closer to Janus, a hand resting on the man’s thigh.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Janus, but I love lemons. And any lemon-aid I can provide… even if it’s just someone to sit next to you… it would be the ‘zest’,” Patton smirked, and Janus shook his head, faint laughter bubbling up in his throat. “Other people suck, but not you.” 

“You make one more pun like that and I’m going to have to find a way to shut you up,” Janus teased, and Patton raised an eyebrow, tongue between his teeth. “I can see you trying to think of one.”

“I don’t know, I think I can squeeze one out—”

Janus’ hands flew to cup Patton’s chin, and their lips met desperately, Patton let out a faint gasp and gripped the front of Janus’ shirt. Eventually they pulled back, and Patton let his forehead rest against the other’s. 

“I think you’re very a-peel-ing, Janus,” Patton whispered, and Janus laughed again, letting his fingers move up to tangle in Patton’s curly hair.

“It’s a good thing I like puns, or I would not be sitting here with you listening to them,” he murmured, and Patton smiled. “You sure you like lemons?”

“As long as you like sweet tea.”

---

please consider reblogging my work! it helps creators spread their work around.

[AO3] [tumblr masterlist]

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Party Games

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: Underaged drinking (but c'mon guys, they're like, highschoolers sooo)

Summary- [Y/N] plans a small get- together and forgets to tell Peter, but when he comes over to do homework and then stays for the party, she finds out just how fun Peter Parker can really be. Also Peter drinks for the first time haha

Bonus: Funny drunk Peter

---------------------------------------

"Okay!," you said to yourself, rubbing your hands together while looking around your room. "We got chips, dip, LED lights, playing cards, uno, cards against humanity, music and..."

You looked around the room again, letting your arms fall to your sides. "Crap, what else?..."

You were throwing a party.

Well, actually just a small get-together.

...but everyone knows that basically means a party.

And this small get-together/party needed to be PERFECT.

"Alright... chips, dip, music, playing cards, LED lights, uno, cards against humanity, and..." you trailed off again. Why did it seem so empty? What were you missing?

"Drinks..," you quietly said to yourself, a small smile playing on your lips. "No party is complete without alcohol."

This par-..uh, small get-together was going to be a blast!

You quickly turned your head to the clock when you heard a knock at your door. It was only four o'clock. The party started at five. What frickin' grandma-time-moving person was at your door a whole hour early?

You opened while simultaneously rolling your eyes. "You're, like, an hour early.."

"No I'm not," a voice responded.

You looked up to see Peter Parker there in front of you. His eyebrows were scrunched up as he titled his head. He carried a small backpack.

"I always come around this time," he said, checking his watch. "D-do you need me to come back later o-or-?"

Realizing what he was talking about, you slapped your forehead. "Oh yeah! The homework!"

"I-I mean it's totally cool if you already did it!," he rushed. "Like, really cool! Cuz y'know, progress is, GREAT, y'know! And, um, you're really smart and stuff. Ha, I'll just go home and do mine and-"

He was so cute when he rambled, something he did the second anything went the smallest bit wrong.

"Pete, chill," you giggled. "I haven't done my homework yet."

"S-sorry," he stuttered. "So, do you still wanna go do that now or-?"

"Sure," you said. "But you gotta say you'll help me out, first."

"Yeah of course!," he smirked before tilting his head again. "Wait, with what?"

You laughed. "Just come in," you said, taking his arm and pulling him into the house.

-

After a bit of homework (mainly Peter breezing through it all while you copy his work), you and Peter picked up where you left off, setting up for the party.

"I didn't know you knew how to pick locks," Peter chuckled in awe as you used a hair pin to get into your parents liquor cabinet.

You giggled softly, rolling your eyes. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Pete. Hey, you like Hennessy?"

The clueless boy stared back at you. "Uh, I wouldn't-"

"You ever been drunk before, Peter?," you asked, a small smile playing on your face.

"U-um. No," Peter responded, a little embarrassed. Given all the opportunities he had to, even with his Aunt May actually handing him some alcohol to try, Peter Parker had never tasted a drink. Not even beer or wine.

"Too cute," you snickered, shaking your head, unknowingly causing Peter to blush a bit. "Grab a few bottles, will you?"

"So is all of this," Peter said once you were back in your room. "For something special like a sleepover or something?"

You turned your head around the face him. "Wait, didn't I invite you?"

Peter shook his head quickly. "No." He wouldn't admit it, but when he walked in to see that you'd been setting up for some sort of event, he couldn't help but feel a little left out.

"Oh. Well you're invited," you said simply. "It's just a small get-together with friends from school."

"O-okay." He smiled. "I just gotta call May," he said. When you nodded, he turned away and pulled out his phone.

Immediately, he dialed Happy's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Happy," he greeted. "Can I ask for a quick favor?"

"Depends on what it is, kid," Happy replied.

"I need someone to cover for me tonight."

"What?"

"On patrol," Peter clarified. "I need someone to cover for me. Just for tonight. I have something to go to-"

"Who is she?," Happy asked, failing to hide the amusement in his voice.

Peter looked back at you sitting on your bed. You were so cute. "W-what?"

"You never skip patrol for anybody, Peter," Happy said. "The only thing I can think of is you've picked up Tony's old habits of dropping duties for special girls."

Hearing that, Peter quickly looked away from you, as if Happy was somewhere hidden and he didn't want to be caught proving his words to be true. "What?! No, it's nothing like that! I just-"

"I'm just kidding buddy. Go on, I got you covered. Go kiss your girl."

"We're not gonna kiss!," Peter whisper-shouted.

"Hey, stay hopeful, kid. You got this!"

"Happy, we're not gonna-" CLICK. "Happy! Ugh.."

Hearing only a muffled fraction of the commotion, you squinted your eyes. "Everything okay over there, Peter?"

"Uh, yeah!" He said, turning around and putting his phone back into his pocket.

Ding-dong!

Both you and Peter looked up to the sound, and then to each other.

"It's starting!," you smiled, excitedly wriggling. "Alright!" You clapped your hands together then walked up to Peter. "We did everything, right?"

Peter nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

You gave a nervous smile. "This is gonna be awesome, right?"

Peter nodded again, giving your arms a reassuring shake. "This is gonna be awesome, [Y/N]. Now c'mon, we don't wanna leave them at the door."

-

MJ was the first to show.

"Hey MJ!," you yelled, pulling her in for a tight hug.

"[Y/N]," she blandly said, though with a small, lopsided smile. She looked to the side, a smile still on her face. "Peter."

"Hi," he smiled softly, his hands awkwardly in his pocket.

Ned was next.

"Hey [Y/N]. This thing's gonna be awesome!," he said walking in. "Pete!!!," he then said, practically slamming into Peter to give him a big brotherly hug.

Then Betty.

"Hey guys!"

Then Cindy.

"What's up?!"

Then Brad.

"Yo!"

Then there was Flash.

"Hey Flash!," you greeted, pulling him in for a hug, and even giving him a friendly high-five.

You were the only one that tolerated, or dare anyone even say, liked him(not in the interesting way of course). Sure he was annoying, but you didn't get the big problem everyone, especially Peter, had with Flash.

"Yo, PENIS PARKER!!"

...Or maybe you kinda did. It was just funny to watch Peter squirm.

He nearly tackled him to the ground and doing his arm around his neck. "Hey, your balls dropped yet? Haha!"

Peter gave you a quick 'why would you do this to me?!' glare before lowly muttering, "Hey Flash..."

-

Spin The Bottle~

"C'mon c'mon, lemme spin it!," Flash yelled. "I'm feelin' lucky!"

"Lucky?," Betty asked. "Who're you trying to get?"

"More like which one of you lucky ladies will get me?!"

"Get over yourself, dude," MJ scolded.

"Hey Pete! Why're you all the way over there?," you asked Peter, who was sitting on your bed watching the game from afar.

"I-I'm fine not kissing anyone..."

"PRUDE!," Flash yelled, pointing to the blushing boy in the corner.

Never Have I Ever~

"Okay," you started, looking around the circle. "Never have I ever...Oh! Here's a good one. Spoken to Spiderman."

Peter, MJ, Ned, and Flash put their fingers down.

"Oh wow, guys! Not fair! When'd you all get to talk to him?!," you playfully whined.

"Said hey to me on the street once," MJ said with a shrug.

"Saved us in Europe," Peter added.

"Gave me a high-five while he was swinging," Ned noted with a smile.

"Told me to watch out when something was gonna fall on me," Flash said, eyes sparkling as if he could actually see his hero in front of him.

"I mean, they don't call him the friendly neighborhood Spiderman for nothing, right?"

Paranoia~

"Alright guys," you said, running your hands together. "For the chaotic energy of this game to work, get by the person you think is the most annoying." When everyone just sat and stared at you, you rolled your eyes and clarified. "C'mon guys, I already know who just merely tolerates who, don't make me have to tell you where to sit."

Slowly and awkwardly, everyone sat next to someone they didn't prefer.

MJ sat next to Betty who sat next to Brad who sat next to Ned who sat next to Cindy who sat next to Flash who sat next to Peter.

"Oh, really?," Betty snickered next to MJ. "I'm definitely learning some things."

MJ rolled her eyes with a chuckle. "I don't hate you, Betty. I just like everyone else more."

Flash looked to the people on the side of him. Cindy and Peter. "...yeah I'm not surprised."

"I love you all the same," you giggled. "So I'm just gonna sit anywhere," you said as you sat next to Peter.

"So the way this one works is the person to the right of you is gonna whisper a question to you and you have to answer it out loud to everyone else in the circle. And here comes the fun part next..." you looked to Peter, your most easily embarrassed friend, to watch his reaction. "You get to decide whether or not you want to tell everybody what the question was. And if you don't, you take a shot."

Peter's eyes widened. "O-of what?"

Brad laughed. "What else, Peter? Alcohol."

"You guys cool with that?," you said, looking around the circle.

"Heck yeah!"

"Totally."

"Cool."

"Sure! Sounds fun!"

"Mhmm."

"Yep!"

"T-that's fine!"

"Oooookay," you said. "Um, Pete! You can go first."

You were on his left.

The circle watched as he leaned into your ear. Immediately you laughed. Once you stopped you answered. "It's been good."

"What was the question?" MJ raised her eyebrow.

"He asked me how my day was."

Flash laughed. Ned shook his head. MJ rolled her eyes. "That was the lamest-"

"I-I was put on the spot, okay?!," Peter defended.

"Well, you've got a whole round to come up with another one," you laughed. "An interesting one."

Peter nodded, racking his mind with more questions to ask you.

It couldn't be anything embarrassing like, "whose your crush?" (Though he secretly wished it would be him)

It needed to be cool. It needed to be sensible. But fun.

"Peter."

Peter's eyes flicked up upon hearing his name being said by MJ.

She was staring at him. "What was the question?," he asked.

You and MJ looked to each other, smiling after coming to a silent agreement of mischief.

"Nah, I think I'm gonna let you suffer," MJ told Peter.

Peter stared, his mouth agape. "Then drink up," you giggled while MJ took her shot.

"W-wait wait wait, no, you can't do that," Peter objected.

"Actually she can, Pete." You smiled a wide shit-eating grin, obviously enjoying Peter's torment. "And now you'll never know what I asked to provoke her to say your name."

"But-"

Cindy laughed. "Feeling paranoid, Peter?"

"Yeah, y'know just a little bit!" Peter's voice cracked as he felt a blush creep onto his cheeks.

Okay, well now he had to get back at you.

He stared at you intently, as the game continued. You were cute as an angel, but as mischievous as Loki himself sometimes, and usually to his expense.

But what could he say? He liked you.

He really liked you.

Before he knew it, it was Flash's turn.

He must've been really out of it if the whole circle had already gone through one round.

"Alright I got a good one, Parker."

"Great..."

Flash leaned in and whispered, "Do you wanna bang [Y/N]?"

Peter yanked his neck back immediately. "Whoa! Uh-um..n-no! Of course not! I so don't!"

"Calm down, dude!" Ned laughed.

"What type of question made you get like that?," Brad asked, almost killing himself with laughter.

"Then again, it doesn't take much for him to get like this," MJ pointed out. "Anyway, what was it, Peter?"

Peter looked to everyone in the circle. No way were they gonna hear what Flash asked him. He looked down at the shot glass in front of him. Everyone laughed and 'ooooh'ed as he quickly threw it back, coughing and hacking immediately after.

"Awwww! Baby boy Peter finally tasted his first drink!," you teased, poking out your bottom lip and wiping a fake tear. "They grow up so fast!"

"Okay, your turn, Peter," Brad said.

'Crap.'

He'd thought so much about the fact that he needed to ask you a crazy question to the point that he'd never actually thought of what the crazy question was going to be!

"Well, c'mon hurry up," you urged.

"Better not be lame," MJ warned.

Taking a quick breath, Peter whispered the first thing that came to mind.

"...Are you a virgin?"

Finally, it was your time to stammer. "U-uh, y-yeah.."

Immediately embarrassed, Peter slapped his forehead. "Dude, I-I'm sorry, [Y/N]. Please don't say the question."

Ned smirked. "Now I really wanna know what it is."

"I'm just gonna...," you trailed off before downing the shot, blushing profusely.

The night rolled on and the questions got weirder. As expected.

But one thing surprised you.

Whatever Flash had been asking Peter the last couple of rounds must've been really crazy stuff because your bashful friend was downing shot after shot. Of everyone in the circle now, he was in the worst shape.

Face beet red. Constantly going into laughing fits. Almost totally abandoning his sense of embarrassment. Shamelessly burping (with Ned more than ready to congratulate him for a "good one" each time). And no sense of personal space. When he asked you a question, he was practically kissing your ear.

The best part was that his questions started to get weirder and weirder.

"You and someone else in this circle have to be surgically bound to someone for the rest of your life. Who?"

"Who's most likely to commit manslaughter?"

"If Darth Sidious walked in here right now and ordered for you to kill someone, who would you kill?"

Most of his questions you told the rest of the circle, because they were just that hilarious.

The game was over now. Betty and Cindy went home. Ned was sleeping on the floor. Brad and Flash were quietly drunkenly chatting. MJ drew pictures of the boys drunk out of their minds.

"I didn't realize Peter was such a weird drunk," MJ laughed as Peter began to loudly hum Star Wars melodies.

Flash let out a big burp, laying on the floor. "I think drunk Parker is better than regular Parker!"

"Totally," Brad agreed.

Peter was laying on your bed, mumbling towards the ceiling.

You, also a bit drunk, walked over to him. "Hey Pete, you okay?"

He didn't turn his head but moved his eyes to look at you. "Wow. I'm drunk." He moved over, leaving room for you on the bed. "And my head really hurts."

You hit his stomach. "Well, yeah dummy! That's what happens when you take so many shots!" You rolled your eyes, laying down so that you were laying down beside him, both of you staring up at the ceiling. "Why did you do so many anyway? What type of stuff was Flash asking?"

"Don't worry about it," he mumbled rather quickly. "I'm so tired right now. This bed is so comfortable. Can I sleep with you, [Y/N]?"

You paused. Of course he didn't mean it like that but still, Peter was asking to sleep with you. And he was too drunk to be embarrassed about it.

OF COURSE he could.

"Yeah, sure," you said, like it was no big deal even though this was literally the guy you crushed on for the longest time. "No problem."

-

Later, MJ, Ned, and the other boys left.

It was just you and Peter now.

He had been done ranting about Star Wars hours ago and was now just staring at the wall. He finally broke the silence as he said, "I don't think I like alcohol very much..."

"You say that," you said. "But I can almost guarantee that you'll be getting drunk again someday." You blew out a tired breath. "And I'll be there to watch you act a straight up fool when you do," you chuckled.

It was fun to see this side of Peter. This carefree, nothing to lose side. You knew that you wouldn't see it often. It's not like you could keep him drunk 24/7.

"Can I hug you?"

You turned around to see Peter staring at you with big puppy-dog eyes. "W-what?"

"Hug- can I hug you?," he asked. "Please?"

"Uh, sure," you replied.

Slowly and clumsily, Peter wrapped his arms around you. "You're so soft and squishy," he giggled with a short hiccup at the end, making it fifteen times cuter.

Of course he'd freak out the second he'd wake up to find himself practically spooning you. And you'd deal with his stuttering and stammering later. But for now, you could definitely enjoy a drunk Peter snoring into your ear.

"G'night, Pete," you whispered, laughing quietly as he mumbled his own goodnight into your ear...

[dasha-aibo]

Quick history of Jews and the world

Jews: hey-

Rome: fuck off, your ancestral homeland belongs to us now, go live somewhere else. Also, bleh *falls apart*

Jews: oooookay

-500 years later-

Europe, collectively: this sucks, money sucks, banking sucks, someone else do it

Jews: hey-

Europe, collectively: you do it now, but you're also evil for doing it now and we reserve the right to kill you for doing it, also bleh *descends into chaos because inbred kings are stupid and die young*

Jews: oooookay

-1000 years later-

Hitler: this sucks, Europe sucks, Jews ruined it with banking they totally invented just to spite Germans personally, I'm going to gas them now.

Jews: hey-

Hitler: I'm now going to start a war with literally the whole world, because my brain big, also bleh *shoots himself because he lost literally to the whole world, like he naturally would*

Jews: oooookay

The rest of the world: wow, that was fucked up, let's not do it again, we're giving you special victim status over that. Also, don't talk to us about Armenians, Irish, Ukrainians or Native Americans. Also, bleh *descends into Cold War*

-50 years later-

Jews: we fucked off to our ancestral homeland, because living with you guys has proven to be far too dangerous.

The rest of the world, blood dripping from the hands: WHAT, NO, FUCK YOU, YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS NAZIS FOR DOING THAT AND DARING TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM PEOPLE WHO FLY SWASTIKAS.

Jews: oooookay *proceed to ignore the world*

The world, blood still dripping: also, bleh *war on terror, Muslim dictatorship, China colonizing Africa, UK surveillance state, Russia being Russia*

DIO: ZA WARUDO

[dreamwritesimagines]

Does anyone else hear me screaming rn? No? Good, let's go, it's smut time!

He almost got impaled oh noooo!?

Especially when his free hand came up and smoothed along her cheek. At first she tried to back away, but his hold on her didn’t budge – and he was wearing gloves. As always, around her. The fact that he wore gloves just to touch her-

I don’t want to waste just one second pulling gloves on, when I could be having my hands on you instead. We're at the beginning only and I'm melting already😱

Oh no this is turning into angst, what do you mean never seeing him again-?

Geralt is gonna cause me and her to die at this point....

Oh God- okay, it's-

“Maybe when I’m back.”

Now, that brought her back into reality. She found her strength, placed her hands on his chest, ignored the little voice in her head that told her to never take her hands away, and shoved at him.

“You asshole.” Wait what?????!?!?!

Where did the hot fluff go???

Hello, where did the-

He knew, he wouldn’t get a word in, not when she was this angry. Oh good he's learning 😂

“How dare you play with my heart this way! I feel like this whole situation is tearing me apart, and you’re not helping, Geralt!” OOOOOH OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY-

He covered her mouth with his hand and kissed the back of his hand, I just-

I need this to happen!?

Whereeeee are they going, what is happening??

She’d almost forgotten what she was so angry about. Oh, right.

“You are mean.”

Yes, well done, very eloquent, very witty. You go princess, you go😂😂😂

Omg she's telling him not to go even if it would lift the curse💔

He looked down at her, pupils dilating as she bit her lip. Fun fact, this line was where I realized I was also biting my lip and staring at my screen #relatable

How he could say her title with such fondness, such reverence, almost like a prayer – she’d never know. I have so many feelings right now!?

Oooookay this-

That is happening.

That's- they're just gonna do....that. wow. Wowowowowow😱❤

I just-

Nessi. NESSI I'M SCREAMING HERE, I NEED EXPLANATIONS- HOW!?

Darling, this is something else and....wow. Speechless😱😍❤❤❤

Don’t Go

It’s my obligation, as ‘the smutty friend’ to take care of any smut scenes coming up in any of @dreamwritesimagines stories. so, here we go. 

Tagged: @cloudberrysims @habitchi @this-is-whump-dammit

**

She was scratching Roach’s neck, trying to keep her face neutral. In truth, her heart was in pain. Geralt was going back into the forest. He barely came out alive last time, after some gruesome monster surprised him and almost impaled him. Not that Geralt would ever have told her about it, no. She had to hear from Ciri, who heard it from the Bard. Jaskier was – ironically – the only one not lying about his missions. 

Keep reading