#oooo pirates
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casef1les · 1 year ago
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AYE LIKE ME POST
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sankttealeaf · 6 months ago
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mermaid rue getting captured by pirate gortash and then telling him complete lies about how merfolk operate.
hes in the corner like "interesting. you say your diet consists only of men who you hate? do i fall into that category?" and then kicks his feet and twirls his hair when she says yes and tries to bite him
shes stuck in his room, probably tossed in a barrel of water to keep her hydrated and wants to rip his throat out with every passing day
im thinking about them... how to make them worse... this is so silly i can just put them into situations and no one can stop me
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reagan-the-saunders · 1 year ago
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Just Doin’ What I Do Best:
TW: Suggestive.
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“Ugh, I honestly wish we could’ve kept that claw. Instead, all we get is a little pouch of coins and a ‘come back whenever you feel like it’. Blegh.” Taliesin complains as he sits next to the campfire.
“Well, at least it was something. We should be grateful.” Lucien responds.
Maevynn glances down at her nails as she whistles, pulling the golden claw out of her pouch as she does. She looks up to see the faces of her companions, some shocked, others pleased. “What?”
“How and when did you get that?” Kaidan asks.
Maevynn shrugs. “Well…”
Last Night:
Maevynn puts her clothing back on as Camilla Valerius lays naked on one of the tavern beds, exhausted. She looks back at the drained imperial with an eye roll.
“Well… it’s rare a girl gets such… action… in a small town like this.” Camilla pants with a smile.
“I don’t work for nothing, you see.” Maevynn says in a sultry tone.
“Well you could’ve said that before-”
“The claw. Please and thank you.”
“But you just got it back for us, I don’t-” Camilla begins to plead.
“I could always tell your brother about your recent… deeds, if you wish.” Maevynn says manipulatively with a cunning smirk.
“No! That’s… fine, come back to the shop with me and you’ll get the claw. Let’s never speak of this again.” Camilla screeches.
“Gladly… but I know you will think of it again…” Maevynn whispers softly.
Back to the present:
“...I just did what I do best…” Maevynn chuckles, taking a swig of her beer. She looks over to see Lucien’s red face, covered with a shocked expression.
“Ah.” Kaidan sighs with a look of concern mixed with interest.
“Was she good?” Taliesin whispers with a cheeky grin.
“Meh. She was fine. A little bland, if anything, but at least she was nice to look at.” Maevynn shrugs.
“I feel faint…” Lucien says softly, before collapsing to the ground.
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cheetahdash · 1 year ago
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I HATE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA STOPPP IM LIKE FULL ON CRYING AND MY HEAD HURTS
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smilingmxsk · 3 months ago
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What Archetype On A Pirate Ship Are You?
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the captain
you are inspiration and desperation all at once. whether you are sailing to find aztec gold, to hunt a mythical sea creature, or to discover a lost sunken city, you are determined to go beyond your limits and make a name for yourself. perhaps during your time on land you were not given all the love you deserved, so you believe you must earn it. you impassion your crew with speeches from the bow and you lead by example, but when you are alone in the stern you wonder, what if all of this is for nothing? what if you fail? what you dread is that at the end of the journey, after you’ve harvested all the gold of the seas, it will not fill the aching void in your soul. what confidence and faith you cannot give yourself, you imbue on your crew. you hope you will not let them down. you don’t realise that your crew follow your colors not because of your treasure trove, but because of your heart of gold.
tagged by: @tidekpr
tagging: STEAL IT YE HEATHENS
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kustar-ryumi · 1 year ago
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workin hard on me sixth request (we are going in strong!! 💪😼)
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abigailspinach · 13 days ago
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Jinkx Monsoon is among the newly announced cast members for Broadway‘s upcoming and reimagined Pirates of Penzance production starring the previously announced Ramin Karimloo and David Hyde Pierce.
Retitled Pirates! The Penzance Musical, Rupert Holmes’ jazzy New Orleans-style reinterpretation of the Gilbert & Sullivan classic is being staged by the Roundabout Theatre Company with previews beginning Friday, April 4, 2025, at Roundabout’s Todd Haimes Theatre. The official opening night is set for Thursday, April 24, and the limited engagement will run through June 22.
Monsoon, who will play Ruth to Karimloo’s Pirate King and Pierce’s Gilbert/Major General Stanley, is a two-time RuPaul’s Drag Race winner, and made her Broadway debut in 2023 as Matron “Mama” Morton in Chicago. In 2024, she played Audrey in the Off Broadway production of Little Shop of Horrors opposite Corbin Bleu. Other credits include a Doctor Who debut as the new villain Maestro.
Scott Ellis will direct, with a creative team to include scene design by David Rockwell, costume design by Linda Cho, lighting design by Donald Holder, sound design by Mikaal Sulaiman, and dance arrangements by John O’Neill. Orchestrations will be by Joseph Joubert and Daryl Waters, music direction by Joseph Joubert and choreography by Warren Carlyle.
“We want everyone to know that what you’re going to see is a musical that celebrates the genius of Gilbert & Sullivan while taking some joyous liberties,” Ellis said in a statement. “The Pirates of Penzance actually premiered in several U.S. cities, including New Orleans, which was a big center for piracy. So, since our pirates have now landed in New Orleans, we’re adapting the title to be both familiar and fresh.”
In addition to Monsoon, the cast additions announced today include Nicholas Barasch (Riverdale), Preston Truman Boyd (Broadway’s The Play That Goes Wrong), and Samantha Williams (Broadway’s Caroline, Or Change).
The Pirates! cast also includes Kelly Belarmino, Maria Briggs, Eddie Cooper, Cicily Daniels, Ninako Donville, Alex Dorf, Rick Faugno, Niani Feelings, Tommy Gedrich, Alex Gibson, Afra Hines, Dan Hoy, Ryo Kamibayashi, Tatiana Lofton, Nathan Lucrezio, Shina Ann Morris, Cooper Stanton, and Bronwyn Tarboton.
The Roundabout synopsis: “Gilbert & Sullivan’s pirate ship docks in New Orleans in this jazzy-bluesy vision of the crowd-pleasing classic, in an outrageously clever romp sizzling with Caribbean rhythms and French Quarter flair. With the tongue-twisting Major-General, the rabble-rousing Pirate King, newly-imagined young lovers, daring daughters, footloose pirates and fleet-footed police, there’s a shipload of musical comedy delights on board to dazzle first-timers and G&S aficionados alike.”
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faggotwalkwithme · 8 months ago
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waaayyy we were goinnnnnnnnn
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titlishu · 2 years ago
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Oh my I’m sorry to hear that you do not have such an elucidative vocabulary which puts in a corner of using AI for your essays. Would you mind naming the institution you are acquiring your education from? I would be more than happy to let them know about your plagiaristic activities. I hope I am being given credits for your username on whichever corner of the internet it is being used on, my puns are indeed a matter of pride for me. I guess you could say I’m ishu-credibly funny or ishu-perstar of comedy or ishu-larious! Alas, I must express my profound disdain for you.
thank u!!! for the new name inspo!!!! <3
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ineffag-swag · 2 years ago
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santiano - seine heimat war die see
'not my thing', yet also 'ok I really like this'
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clarissasbakery · 29 days ago
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oooo you wanna make a pirate plasma ball design sooo bad ooooo
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literally any excuse i will take to dress plasma ball up
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starrspice · 2 years ago
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The people have spoken and multicolored tail it is!
I wanna redo my Mer!Y/N and Pirate Sun and Moon designs so
Here's a poll so you guys can decide
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lowkeyrobin · 4 months ago
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If you are still doing descendants may I suggest a hook x wizard reader
oooo sure!! ; hopefully I did this like... okay LMAO ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy!
JAMES HOOK ; wizardry
summary ; youre a spellcaster, he's a pirate
warnings ; language
word count ; 363
masterlist
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James loved your little spellcasting powers, he found it so... intriguing. The fact that some little wand, and/or your hands, could summon little sparks and trails of magic. Magic, just at your fingertips, fascinated him.
Yes, he found Maleficent's and Hades' powers interesting, too. But you, you were something else, like a muse, the Diego Rivera to his Frida Kahlo.
He'd stare in awe when you used your magic, absolutely enamored.
He gave you that look he always gave you when you spelled Red and Chloe with a silencing spell, making them hush up while Uliana spoke and stole the recipe book from them. You look over at him, seeing that lovestruck gaze in his eyes. You roll your eyes playfully, lightly nudging him with your elbow.
"You're staring" You whisper
He raises his hand and hook in defense, fake frowning for a moment before you both turn back to look at Red and Chloe. They scratch and grab at their throats, unable to speak over Uliana.
You wave goodbye as you exit the office with the others, shooting a little remedy their way as you close the door behind you. James waits for you, grabbing your hand as you quickly maneuver through the halls together.
"That was very attractive" He mutters
"Yeah, I can tell"
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he loves watching you flip through spellbooks and help you learn new spells
and he'll happily let you practice on him
"you should bake some more cookies, add a little love spell while you're at it, love"
"you realize that doesn't make sense, right?"
"hush"
he's literally never been so fascinated by magic nor people before you
your friends are always teasing you how you changed his brain chemistry or something
you often prank him as well
one in a million moment where he wants to kill you /lh
"agh! y/n, why is their a horde of spiders in my room???"
he'd rather be on your side when you're pranking people
he's always getting you to do simple little tasks for him when he's lazy, aka using telekinesis of sorts
like turning on/off light switches, grabbing things when he's caught up, stuff like that
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dilatorywriting · 2 years ago
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Monster Mayhem: Siren's Song
Gender Neutral Reader x Vil Schoenheit Word Count: 6.1k
Summary: What do you call a deaf pirate? Not 'Siren Food' apparently, which is really sort of hilarious when you've been kidnapped by a hungry Siren. Not for the Siren though—he's definitely not having a good time.
A/N: *rushes in at the 11th hour* Happy Mer-May!! I've been back and forth with clinical rotations and also working on some commission things and Leona's Part 4, but like, it's a fanfiction holiday. I couldn't miss out. And for one of my favorite tropes nonetheless. So here we are.
[PART 1] [PART 1.5] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4] [PART 5]
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There was a legend that floated throughout the Sage Island Seas of the Pirate With No Ears. Which was ridiculous—half because such a tall tale managing to survive so long and so wildly really showed just how pathetic the rest of the gossip around here was, and half because you still had ears. They just didn’t work very well was all.
Some said you’d been deafened by a prowling sea sorcerer who had tricked you into trading away your once keen sense for some mortal foible or other. Others whispered about how you’d been trapped in an ice cavern, surrounded by electric eels and sharks, and that the only way you’d been able to weasel your way out was by cutting off your own ears so that you’d have enough wiggle room to escape from your bindings. Which made absolutely zero sense at all.
In reality, all you’d done was stand far too close to a canon for far too long when you were far, far too little, and ever since all you could hear was the dull ringing of post-battle silence. Sometimes it was a bit sad. When the waves crashed against the shore, or when the gulls flew overhead—you were sure all those things sounded very lovely. You remembered music and laughter and sometimes they echoed in your head at a distance—a memory not quite forgotten but certainly fading at the edges. But other times, like now, where your fellow crewmates were bawling into their ales and wailing about lord knew what… well, it was always nice to find a silver lining in these sorts of things.
One of the tipsy lads tottering around the deck of The Rose Queen tripped and landed against the wood with something that looked like it’d be a very loud smack. Your brain helpfully filled the silence with some nonsense noises and park-play-style laughter instead. You watched Cater stumble by out of the corner of your eye. He patted your head and said something that twisted his mouth into a gaping ‘uuuuu-eeeee-oooo’ before he puttered away to leech off First Mate Clover instead. Ace threw a drunken arm around your shoulder and burbled something against your cheek that popped with the scent of stale booze, and you decided to pretend that you were as alone at sea as your muted senses would like to think.
The party raged on long into the evening and you stared down at the rabble contentedly from your perch in the crow’s nest. They were a good bunch—dullards though they may be. You’d heard (hardee har har) that they were planning to raid the Port o'Bliss, and something must have gone terribly right. You only really hung around to scrub barnacles off the paneling and keep an eye on the tides well enough that Deuce wouldn’t run the lot of you ashore, so you weren’t really sure how the whole ‘pirating’ business actually went about. But clearly they were doing a pretty good job of it.
You rested your chin on your crossed arms and sighed into the salty breeze. The night was warm and pleasant, and before you knew it, you were nodding off against the rough fabric of your sleeves. You weren’t quite sure how long you spent dozing there tangled in the ropes of mast, but it was long enough that by the time you snorted back awake the festive lights had dimmed to embers and most of the crew had sidled away below deck to either keep drinking themselves blind or collapse in a pool of their own colorful vomit.
There was a lone figure swerving towards the bow—precariously close to the railing for someone so clearly unsteady on their own legs, if you did say so yourself. You squinted suspiciously at his mused lavender hair, not entirely sure you recognized the head bobbing around below you. But perhaps The Rose Queen had picked up some fresh recruits at the Port, or maybe the crew had gotten a bit too booze happy with some dye. Purple Hair leaned up against the rails and tipped forward on his toes like he was thinking about diving in, or maybe barfing. Either or, you sighed and shimmied your way down to stop him from tumbling into a watery grave.
“Oi!” you called, the shout vibrating up and out of your throat, and the kid jumped half a foot in the air. “What do you think you’re doing? Get away from there. Riddle’ll have your head if we have to send out the rescue rafts this late at—”
The kid turned to face you with wide, wide, glowing eyes. Your own went round as dinner plates as you watched his too-dark pupils pulse like drumbeat. They were so bright, practically illuminating the whole of his delicate face, but there was no light to them. Matte and sleek like a shark’s eyes.
He shouted something at you so whip fast that you couldn’t even begin to make sense of, and then he was glancing nervously back and forth between the roiling waves at his back and the encroaching deckhand at his front—making all sorts of nonsense gestures that had you sighing behind gritted teeth.
“Look,” you said, interrupting whatever indiscernible gibberish he was spouting, “I don’t know who you think you are. But you’ve picked the wrong ship to try and—I don’t know—seize? Pirate? You can’t pirate a pirate ship! But either way, you—”
Then the kid opened his mouth like he was screaming, and you frowned again. There was strange prickle along your arms that had goosebumps crawling up your skin and the hair raising at the back of your neck, but you shook it off and moved forward with another weary sigh. You pulled a length of rope from the belt slung around your hips and held the limp bundle of salt-soaked mesh up like a threat.
“I will throw you overboard. And hogtie you first,” you promised cheerily. “So you actually sink.”
Purple Hair just looked like he was trying to scream louder, and you were sourly tempted to stick your fucking tongue out at him and make petulant ‘nyeh nyeh nice try’ noises at him, but then there was a heaviness behind you. A creak in the wood that you could feel if not hear. You rolled out of habit—tumbling across the deck just in time to avoid a nasty swipe along your back. And oh no. The thing crawling up over the railing was worse than any lavender would-be ship thief. The black tipped claws and flared fins were telling enough, but the sharp-toothed grin was somehow more so. It tilted its unnaturally lovely head at you and spoke politely—clearly and very, painfully, slowly.
“What’s—this—perhaps—” you were able to vaguely make out. Maybe. The dark and your panic were both a terrible hindrance to putting shapes to sound. His lips curled into something wicked before parting far more smoothly than the younger man’s had. Singing. It was singing, not screaming. Hauntingly green eyes glowed bright and you felt the tunk tunk tunk beneath your feet of the rest of the crew starting to move around beneath you. Around you.
Then there were more of them—crawling up over the railings, trilling into the night air. All far too lovely and far too sharp to be anything but predators. The moonlight illuminated their fangs and scales in a ghostly white glow. There were shivers running along your spine, but otherwise nothing but silence echoed through your head. Small mercies. You watched several of your fellow crewmates rush out of the cabins only to double over with their hands clasped over their ears. Others stuttered and tumbled forward towards the railings as if they were being dragged along like puppets on a string. You cursed and ducked between them—looping your rope around their legs as you went and tugging them to their knees like a line of falling dominoes.
You let your hapless comrades collapse to the deck and curled the last throws of rope around your fists. You were decent enough with a knife when it came to dueling an unmoving, completely unaware foe—like a barnacle or some rusted over door hinges. But real people? Sirens?Fucking literal blade-tipped-merfolk straight out of every sailor’s nightmare? No thank you. So the teeny blade stayed sheathed at your hip and you dove into the fray to find something rope-wrangle-able.
At the other end of the bow, you watched Purple Boy straighten from a crouch. There were new, silvery blue scales crawling up his neck and forearms. He was still tottering around on legs that he clearly wasn’t all too used to, and you watched as the little guppy started to make a furious beeline for Captain Rosehearts. Which—no. Absolutely not. You were never one of those pirates who was like ‘oh, Captain, my Captain~’ but Riddle was good. He was tough, and taciturn, and could throw a tantrum that could bring down an entire harbor. But he’d written out all of his ridiculous six hundred rules by hand so that you could have them. And the teeny furrow in his brow as he staunchly taught himself hand sign after hand sign so that he could yell at you in earnest was so endearing that you’d protect that little firecracker for as long as you breathed.
So you went after Lavender Head, and then of course Lavender Head turned and tried to shout at you all over again. When that continued to not work at all, the Siren began to backpedal in earnest. He turned his head and squawked at whoever was around to listen, but in the chaos of the attack there didn’t seem to be many of his pod free to lend him a hand.
You descended on the little snake, rope at the ready and perfectly happy to make sushi out of the fucker, when something big overshadowed the both of you. Another Siren crested over the side of the ship, larger and clearly more impressive than the rest of its kin. Which matched your stupidly terrible luck just fine. Ah, yes, Mister Big Bad. Please. Go for the deckhand rather than the literal trained mercenaries less than ten feet away. Brilliant. The Siren bared its fangs like some great, terrible, beast and tore into the paneling with its curved claws as it attempted to drag you down to your watery grave. You cursed, and kicked, and yelped in a panic when the thing managed to get one of those cold, pale hands around your ankle.
Despite the fact that all of it surely happened in less than a few seconds, your descent seemed to progress in steps. First, the Siren tugged you over the side. Second, you smartly flipped the loops of your rope up to try and lasso yourself a handhold. Thirdly, you outright missed the ship and instead tangled the spools of thin rope all around your Murderer To Be. Said Murderer’s eyes widened in shock as your unintentional trap wrapped the both of you up like a mess of bugs in a spider web. And finally, the pair of you crashed towards the churning ocean in a knotted-up heap and slowly sank beneath the waves.
.
.
You rubbed the grit and salt from your eyes and sat up with a groan. Where were you? Not too far out at sea, hopefully. Washing up ashore had been nothing short of a miracle, and you weren’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth if it meant you got to avoid becoming chum for another day. The sand beneath your fingers was soft and white, and it slipped beneath your palm like water. You moved to push yourself to your feet and froze—a blur of amethyst swiping out and knocking you back onto your ass with a splash.
You spluttered and spat, and had just barely managed to flip yourself over like a turtle who’d been upended on its back when you caught sight of the absolute last creature in the world that you’d ever wanted to see again.
The big Siren had washed up nearby.
Because of course it had.
The creature narrowed his eyes at you and immediately set about lashing his rope-twisted tail against the sand like a rattlesnake. He bared his pointed teeth in a hiss and you were dowsed in a barrage of saltwater ammunition.
“Stop! Stop!” you begged, spitting out wayward chunks of seaweed, and shells, and gods knew what else. “I get it! I won’t come near you, jeesh! I wasn’t planning on it to begin with!”
The Siren curled his lips unpleasantly, putting that wonderful row of dagger-like pearly whites on display. He spat something completely indiscernible—the line of his mouth so harsh and flat that you couldn’t have even begun to pick up the shape of things if you tried—and you scooted as far back as you could without toppling yourself over again.
He dug his clawed hands into the sand and said something else, just as clipped and tight. You assumed it was an accusation. You were very used to recognizing the glare that accompanied those. When you didn’t respond, his brow tugged down low and he snapped something else—this time jabbing those pointed, black, nails in your direction. Ah, so definitely a complaint then.
You cocked your head at him out of habit and that griping turned into a snarl so ferocious that you could feel it racing up your skin like static. Which was definitely pretty trippy.
“I don’t know what you’re saying,” you told him honestly. Which just made the spiked fins flatten all along the side of his head and another wave of those zippy sneers dance up your arms. “Literally,” you tried. “I—”
The Siren opened his mouth and that sparky static from earlier amplified into something near painful. It was strong, and prickly, and left the imprints of invisible shackles all along your already aching joints. You could feel his voice carrying on the breeze—brushing against your cheeks and playing with hair. Thin, icy, fingers digging their way into your brain and yanking. But there was something missing from all that ethereal hypnotism. Something pleasant and sweet to complete the circle of temptation. A voice, you’d guess. There had to be a call after all, or else it hardly mattered how deep and all encompassing the need was to answer.  
When you didn’t immediately, like, fall to your knees in subjugation or drown yourself in the inch and a half of tepid water pooling at your hips, the Siren’s eyes dimmed with something that almost looked like hesitance. His brow pinched tight and he parted his red lips wider. A seagull dropped from the sky. Three different crabs crawled out of the sand to bow down.
“I can’t hear you!” you tried again, loud enough to have your teeth aching. His mouth went wider, and an entire ass tuna beached itself to flop pathetically near your ankles. “It’s not a challenge!” you wailed. “My ears literally, actually, do not work, you fucking overgrown anchovy!”
The static disappeared all at once, and the Siren’s lips slipped into a small, surprised sort of ‘o.’ He blinked his too-long lashes at you and stared you down like you were some sort of escaped alchemical experiment.
“There,” you huffed. “Finally.” And then went quiet and a bit concerned. Because apparent Song Immunity or otherwise, the thing was still hugely impressive and scary looking. His claws definitely wouldn’t have any problem picking the leftover bits of you out of his teeth, and you knew well enough that if he dragged you into the depths with that powerful tail of his, there would be no resurfacing.
The Siren too was using this time to glare at you like you were somehow a threat to be taken seriously. Which was half flattering, half pretty funny.
“Well…” you said after a long moment. “I should get going, I suppose.”
You made your way to your feet in the mucky sandbar and started heading off to see where you’d been stranded. You could feel the Siren’s heavy gaze on you the whole while, and decided he was probably trying to figure out if you’d taste better paired with seaweed or a nice jellyfish spread.
.
.
The pair of you had been stranded on a small, crescent, islet that couldn’t even rightly call itself an island. You were able to walk from its curling east to west coasts in just under fifteen minutes, and that was at a meandering pace where you stopped to peer into all kinds of little grottos and rocky formations. There was some vegetation at the heart of it—short palm trees and tufts of grassy knolls—and thankfully a few deep divots that had collected some still rainwater, but otherwise it was entirely boring and stupid. Not even any weird tortoises or anything meandering about to make friends with.
By the time you circled back around to your original stranding point, you had fully expected the Siren to have flipped you the metaphorical bird and fucked off back into the ocean, never to be seen again. Instead, he was still stretched out in the shallows of the bay, carefully fanning his long tail out in the seafoam and picking through the mess of it with his pointy claws.
He reminded you of a beta fish—with wide, flowing, fins that looked far more like silk than skin or scales. The tips were a deep, plum purple that gently faded from near black to violet and finally a vivid sort of lilac at their junction. The bulk of his tail looked like it could be made from literal gemstones with the way it shimmered in the morning light (gems that had perhaps been a bit dinged and/or literally torn out in chunks from where he may or may not have been smashed into the rocky shore curtesy of your terrible hogtie, but who’s to say).
There were jagged cuts lining the right half of his pale torso. They oozed a strange sort of silver ichor that was probably some kind of mystical merman blood, but you absolutely refused to get close enough to try and find out. The fins framing his pelvis were tangled and thin looking, and the sweeping ones that trailed all the way down to the tip of his tail were battered and torn. Clearly pulled to bits by your handy, dandy lasso skills. Which… was still tied up at the base of them. Huh. You’d assumed he’d be able to slice through all that knotwork without issue. But maybe…
You approached the Siren cautiously. You caught the exact moment he must have realized you’d returned because the fins along the sides of his head flattened like the ears on a pissy cat and he turned on you with a very dramatic snarl that probably sounded all sorts of menacing.
“Hello,” you greeted, and the merman spat something that you assumed was probably a very polite ‘fuck right off.’
You nodded because, well, fair enough. And then pointed to his injured fins and the waterlogged ropes still twisted up around the heart of them.
“I can get that off if you promise not to eat me.”
He shouted something no doubt very indignant and then was back to hissing at you. Which definitely didn’t sound like an agreement not to immediately murder you on the spot.
“Alright,” you shrugged. “Your loss, I suppose.”
Well, your loss, really. Keeping a wounded Siren around was just asking for trouble. Their pods were viciously protective for one thing, and that wasn’t even taking into account the poachers and rivals who’d be more than keen to come sniffing after the fresh trail of blood in the water. Maybe you could find a big stick or something and just, I don’t know, push him back into the ocean and be done with it.
The thought must have shown on your face, because suddenly he was smacking his tail against the sandbar and spitting something that you very much assumed was a demand along the lines of ‘you are going to take accountability for this.’
Which absolutely no way in Hell. He’d kidnapped you sort of, so that made you his problem, thank you very much.
You felt your stomach gurgle, and it must have been pretty loud going off the stink eye he sent your way. You turned your nose up at him and went about collecting the various critters that had been washed ashore in his tenor’s tantrum.
“Thanks for the food!” you chirped petulantly as you worked on scaling the tuna with the knife from your belt—making long, pointed, eye contact as you did so.
The Siren sneered at you and went back to grooming the shredded ends of his fins.
The rest of the afternoon became a sort of pissing contest between the two of you to see who could earn the title of Bitchiest Beach Bitch. You thought you were definitely winning with the whole ‘eating something that could have been his long-lost cousin’ thing, but then he went and swamped the entirety of the small fire you built (and all of said ‘cousin’ being cooked over it) with one sweep of his tail, so now you were at the very least tied. You set up a nice little shaded hutch out of driftwood and ferns to escape the sun, he called down seagulls to shit all over it and pick it to pieces. He tried to roll around to reach some of the tighter fibers tangled in his pectoral fins, and you chucked rocks at him until he reared on you with a scream that had all the hairs on your arms standing on end. Y’know. Perfectly mature things like that.
That night you curled up beside a tall, jagged rock just at the outskirt of the bay—determined to get some shut eye but to also keep within range of your newest pest in case he decided to try and pull something sneaky. But every time you’d just about settled in to sleep, the shallow tide would lap against your toes in harsh shush shush shushes that had you furrowing you brow until you finally had enough and sat up to see what all the hubbub was about.
The Siren was tossing around in the shallows like a fish in a net—throwing his long body against the bindings and flailing like his life depended on it. And as much as he’d definitely deserved to get caught up in your unintentional hogtie, watching something as large and no doubt powerful as he was wriggling around like a worm on a hook was… Well. Something soured a bit in your gut as you watched him give one, final, great buck against his bindings before collapsing back into the shallows in a circle of seafoam. He panted against the surface of the water, the tips of his pale hair dripping down in a curtain around his haggard face, and you could see a fine tremor running along his shoulder blades.
You turned back to your rock and ground the heels of your palms into your eyes, fighting the absolute batshit insane urge to feel bad for a monster who had literally tried to drag you to your death less than twenty-four hours ago.
The water was calm and still for the rest of the night.
.
.
The next morning, you picked up a few of the crabs who had crawled up to shore and went about getting them clean and fit for eating. You glanced at the Siren, who was busy preening over his janky fins and fussing over his hair. It was entirely unfair that you probably looked like a half-drowned rat, and yet this creature that wasn’t even meant to exist on the surface was somehow managing to put himself together well enough to rival the courtesans you’d seen meandering around some of the wealthier coastal towns.
You stared at the crabs. There were three of them. It wasn’t really sharing if it was meant to be a bribe to keep him from eating you whole. Or at least, that’s what you reassured yourself as you cautiously tiptoed back to the water’s edge.
The Siren swiveled on you with a snap of something that looked sort of like a ‘What?!’ and you held up one of the gutted crabs in offering.
“I don’t know if you all eat fish or whatever, but…” You waved the limp crab awkwardly.
The Siren rolled its purple eyes and said something fast and sharp that you couldn’t really parse. Something, something, not, something, something, are crust—Something, something, are you that stupid? (you recognized the impressions of those words well enough to mouth them even in your sleep).
“Look, do you want it or not?” you interrupted, and he bristled—all those delicate, violet, fins flaring up like a porcupine’s spikes.
The Siren crossed his arms stiffly and pointedly turned in the other direction with a mutter of something you had no hopes of catching.
“Whatever,” you snapped and went to bite into your meal. Only to immediately forget that these pointy little fuckers still had their shells on them. You reeled back with a yelp as you stabbed a million, tiny, carapace-shaped holes in your tongue.
The fucking Siren had the gall to turn back around so that you could see him laughing at you.
.
.
That night he was back to flipping around in the shallows like a miniature hurricane.
You counted out the waves sloshing against your heels, telling yourself you’d intervene in his self-destructive tsunami once it hit one hundred. And then it became two, then three. You shifted hesitantly to peek over the rock’s edge and watched him curl into himself like some terribly wounded creature before shaking himself out of the fog of pain that had clearly settling over his nerves, and then continued with his nonsense.
You hurled a big, pink seashell at his head and he whipped on you like a rabid dog, practically foaming at the mouth and raring for a fight. When he lunged forward with the waves—seething with hatred, and blame, and nearly crashing onto his already shredded front in the process, something angry in your snapped.
“Look, fish face! You were the one who attacked me! You!” you demanded, stomping perhaps a bit closer than would be rational. “So stop acting like I’m some scheming shithead who was planning to trap you like this from the start!”
The Siren roared something back and slapped his tail in the surf. Static zipped along your cheeks and you grit your teeth. He glared at you bitterly and then began to repeat one word over and over—slow and angry.
‘Eeeeehhh-Pppe-llllll’ said his lips. Strong and harsh with the shape of it.
And then he was back to spewing all kinds of rapid-fire vitriol that you wouldn’t have bothered to keep track of even if you could. Something in his expression shifted almost quicker than you could notice and he lifted his massive tail out of the water. He smacked the fins in your direction and pointedly jabbed a clawed finger at the creases of them—where delicate, silky, tendrils met strong, gem toned, muscle. Where the purple was light and clean. A pale, shiny, lavender. Almost just like—
“That kid?” you frowned. “You attacked me because of Purple Head?!”
He sneered again and pointedly sent a splash of seawater into your face.
“You—” you grit your teeth. “He was still attacking us first! He was going after my friend!” you snapped, kicking your own wave back. For all the good it would do. “You don’t get to act all noble and protective, and like any of that makes any difference when you all were going to eat us!”
The Siren’s face twisted up like you’d force fed him soured milk, and he looped back around with a dramatic fwoosh of water to dive into the shallows. It was maybe two or three feet deep at best, and he was barely submerged. Not to mention how utterly ridiculous it looked to see a creature that was no doubt usually the peak of grace and athleticism reduced to flopping belly first into the waves with his proverbial legs tied up behind him. But you recognized a door slamming in your face when you saw it, no matter the species. Fine. Let him be a petty bastard. He could rot away in the sandbar for all you cared.
.
.
The next day you woke up with goosebumps crawling up and down your limbs.
There were all sorts of gulls crash-landed in the sand around you and more sad, little, sea creatures gasping on the beach than you dared to count. You shoved a particularly chubby octopus back into a tidepool as you passed and wondered just what sort of nonsense your co-strandee was getting up to now.
The Siren was circling the bay with his head held high above the low waves—lips parted and clearly caterwauling like a dying porpoise. The surface of the water trembled with whatever was making its way out of his mouth, and he looped and looped around the shores. It reminded you of the time you’d seen a whale calf separated from its pod. It had gotten trapped in a shallow inlet when the tides had changed, and your ship had been anchored just off the same coast. You’d watched it circle and circle, lifting its heavy snout to snort sharp jets of water into the air. Deuce had passed you a scribbled note when you’d asked him what it sounded like.
‘It’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.’
There was a moment where the Siren paused in his paces and tilted his head. The fins there flared out to the side, like he was listening for something. But after a long moment the spines drooped back against his damp hair and he went back to his singing an aria to no one.
‘It’s looking for its family,‘ Riddle had signed to you when you’d asked him why the calf didn’t simply leave once the tides had turned in its favor. ‘This is where they last saw it, so this is where it will stay.’
“Maybe they forgot about him already,” you mused petulantly, turning back towards the center of the islet to try and scavenge up something to eat from all the poor creatures who had collapsed beneath your nemesis’s wailing.  
The bitter thought wasn’t nearly as satisfying as it ought to be.
.
.
That night, the waters were still.
You squinted suspiciously at the merman curled in the shallows of the bay. He’d pulled himself half-out of the water, resting his more human looking bulk in the soft sand as gentle waves lapped at his tail. He slept on his front with his arms crossed beneath his pointed chin—his unbound fins sticking up behind him in a way that deliriously reminded you of bedhead. You watched him carefully for nearly an hour, searching for any tightness in his muscles or change in his breathing that might indicate he was faking it. But as the evening stretched on and he never lurched awake to try and gauge your eyes out, you assumed he might actually be properly resting.
He'd been swimming in circles all day—the aborted, stuttering, beats of his bound tail looking painful even by your non-tail-having standards. Eventually the tremors along the ocean had grown stuttered and strange, like perhaps his voice was giving out on him. And once that had happened, he’d curled up exactly where he was now. And hadn’t moved since.
You stared at the Siren hesitantly. He was certainly in enough of a state that you could probably pull off that whole ‘shoving him into the depths with a stick’ thing. He’d probably just let you do it—sink to the bottom in a mess of shredded fins and tangled twine and never rise again.
You gnawed at your lip, feeling something unpleasantly hot and sticky twist up your stomach.
The knife glinted between your fingers and you thought of crying whales and of the crew that you already missed so much that it felt like a gnawing chasm had opened in your chest.
You huffed out a miserable sigh and lamented for not the first time in your life that you really were just so fucking stupid sometimes. And then you were cautiously making your way down towards the waterline and the sleeping Siren sprawled out in the sand. Slowly—so very, very slowly—you tiptoed towards the mer and tried to get a quick glance at what amounted to the worst of the damage.
The rope had been thin and long, and the more he’d struggled, the more he’d dug the twine into his fins. You reached forward at half speed and slipped the blade into one of the too-tight creases beneath the bindings. You winced a bit in sympathy at the raw, pink skin beneath. No wonder he hadn’t been able to just rip the fibers away. He’d probably just ended up tugging them over and over against the oozing wounds beneath.
The first strand broke beneath your fingers with something that almost felt like a pop. Like seams ripping on a shirt. You glanced quickly at the sleeping Siren to confirm he was still lost to the world and not gearing up to bite your fingers off at the knuckle, and then continued making your way through the worst of it. It reminded you a bit of the time Ace had accidentally snared a sea turtle in one of his fishing nets and the lot of you had spent the better part of an hour slowly working the thing free of the seemingly endless tangles. You delicately worked the tightest edges away from the harsh indentations they’d left against his scales and peeled back the muckier bits with enough gentleness to avoid mangling anymore of his already battered fins.
The last of the rope finally came away with a satisfying, wet weight and you let it fall to the sand beside you with a pleased nod. Now you could let Mister Merman swim away in the morning with no unpleasantly gross sense of moral obligation weighing down your consciousness. Maybe he’d even be thankful enough to look at you with something other than a venomous glare for once. Certainly nothing like the one leveled at you right now. And—
Oh.
You didn’t even have time to properly gasp before you were being flipped and pinned into the wet sand. The Siren loomed over you, digging his black claws into your shoulder until you could feel the first pricks of blood breaking the surface. He snarled in your face, the curtain of his pale blonde hair shadowing his eyes in something so dark it was nearly black. The brilliant purple cast off his glowing irises were like little spots of stars in an otherwise empty night sky.
He leaned forward, teeth bared, and then some sort of tight expression flickered over his face. He paused, brow tugging together steep and angry. He hunched down once more, fangs at the ready, and then ducked back out. He shook his head, like he was trying to clear fog from his brain, and then he was snapping his canines at you all over again.
The Siren reared back with a booming snarl that sent ripples through the soft tide lapping at your ankles. He turned with one, final, icy glower and dove back into the shallows, disappearing beneath the surface in a flash of amethyst scales. He flicked his tail sharply as he went, and one of the tattered fins snapped against your nose with enough of a crack to make you yelp.
You sat up in disbelief, rubbing at your aching skin and watching in outright consternation as the great predator of the oceans swam tight laps beneath the warm waters of your little lagoon—fins occasionally cresting over the surface to smack pointed fistfuls of water into your gaping face.
Deliriously, one of The Rose Queen’s hundreds of nonsensical rules bounced about your head. Happy to fill the otherwise entirely empty space behind your eyes.
‘Never save a Sea Serpent on a Sunday,’ Riddle had demanded, hands at his hips. ‘No Serpents, or Sea Horses, or Sirens to speak of.’
‘Man,’ you thought wildly, brain high on adrenaline and static as you watched one of the aforementioned Sirens swan about like he hadn’t probably just been a half second away from gnawing on your literal bones. ‘If I get out of this alive, Captain’s definitely gonna collar me this time.’
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assiraphales · 1 year ago
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it’s lowkey so fun that the pirates and marines are the celebrities of the one piece world. ppl r gossiping about them and collecting their posters. popularity is based on how many berries their bounty is & who beat up who. there’s bets to be made on them. they walk into town n ppl r like oooo gurl u see who that is ????? everyone is on their shell / snails spreading the tea. mihawk is single handedly reporting and causing half the drama. everyone’s wearing silly little designer costumes
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ideas-4-stories · 1 year ago
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Roger: "Okay, what does A stand for?" Baby Buggy: "Arson." Roger: "Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for?" Baby Buggy: "Barson." Gaban: *laughter* Rayleigh, snickers: "Roger, Roger stop it..." Roger: "Wait, Wait, What stands for C?" Baby Buggy: "Commit arson." Sunbell: "Oooo, that's a good one" *Many of the Roger Pirates that are in there, nods in agreement, as Rayleigh covers up his chuckles with a sigh and Gaban still laughing his ass off* Taro: "Okay, So what's D!" Baby Buggy: "Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson." Gaban: *more laughter* Roger: *Dying of laugher* Rayleigh: *Trying to contain his giggles*
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