#ooc? unrealistic? not my major concern

[suspiciouslackofclowns]

Eddie’s never this late.

He’s usually pretty washy when it comes to being places on time — always either twenty minutes early or twenty minutes late, never anything between — but Gareth’s legs are actually getting sore from standing at this point.

He glances at his watch every so often, looking up and down the street for any sign of the van approaching. A couple of times, he’s considered walking to the nearest pay phone about a block or so away.

But no fucking way he’s leaving his drum kit on the curb unattended.

As if Eddie would pick up the phone anyway.

The owner of the music store has come out twice now to check in on him. Offered to have one of his guys load the stuff up for him, but Gareth declined as graciously as he could while trying to hide his festering irritation.

He saved up for months to be able to afford all of this new equipment, he absolutely cannot pay to have it delivered.

It irks him even more the closer that Eddie gets to being almost an hour late.

Just when he’s about completely fed up, having downed the entire bottle of water that Harold was generous enough to gift him, a vehicle turns down the street. For a moment, Gareth is overwhelmed by a blend of relief and rage, stepping up to the edge of the curb, but those feelings quickly fade.

Rather than the van, it’s a truck.

Gareth’s heart drops, and as it gets closer, he hopes to god that it’s still Eddie behind the wheel. When the truck pulls up to the curb, his hopes vanish.

The engine dies, and the driver side door opens. Heavy footsteps scrape the pavement, rounding the truck, and Hargrove comes to stand beside the collection of equipment.

His expression is blank. He’s clad in rough denim jeans and a t-shirt, with a pair of work boots to match. There’s a layer of grime on him that says he’s been doing something all day, likely outside, if the dirtied stains on the knees of his pant legs say anything.

For a guy from the city, he sure looks like every other ranch hand around here. The only things he’s missing are a can of dip denting his back pocket and a hat.

It’s quiet between the two of them for a beat. Gareth doesn’t know what to do or say — he’s only ever been in Hargrove’s company when other people are around.

And that was intentional.

The blond nods at the stuff on the curb and clicks his tongue.

“This everything?” he asks.

Gareth nods. Watches as Hargrove wordlessly circles to the back of his truck and drops the tailgate.

He immediately begins grabbing things, and Gareth steps out of his way. Watches as he carefully loads a few things into the bed, grabbing the larger ones first.

“You, uh,” Gareth begins. He clears his throat when Hargrove glances over at him. “Want me to help?”

At that, the blond huffs a little laugh to himself.

“Not gonna break your fancy drum set,” he says.

Gareth opens his mouth, and then promptly closes it. Furrows his brows and looks off down the street.

Everyone else seems to click with this guy. Even Grant and Jeff, after a while.

Not that Gareth necessarily wants to.

He just doesn’t understand why he quite literally can’t.

Eddie and even Steve have tried to explain to him that Hargrove is just tough — he’s not the type to wanna sit around and gush about niche interests, and he’s fairly blunt when he talks.

For some reason, everything the guy does and says just rubs Gareth the wrong way. He would say he doesn’t get why his partners are into him, but that would be a complete lie.

Hargrove is hot.

He’s thicker now than he was in high school. His arms are bigger, veinier closer to his wrists, and he’s got the faintest hint of chub on his stomach. Enough to pooch out a little over the lip of his jeans when he bends over to grab things.

It’s overwhelmingly obvious that he’s a man, and not a boy. A man with perfect blond curls and broad shoulders and the visible trace of scruff on his neck.

Of course he has two other guys drooling over him constantly.

Gareth himself tries not to look at him too much for fear of heat rising to the surface of his skin. Especially when he’s doing anything physical like this.

Once everything is loaded and the tailgate is shut, Hargrove straps the few larger things down, and steps up on the tire at each side to check and make sure everything is held sturdily enough in place before he hops down.

Wordlessly walks back to the front of the truck and climbs behind the wheel again.

Gareth hesitates, but opens the passenger side door and joins him in the cab.

The blond starts the engine, and the stereo immediately blasts Tooth and Nail by Dokken. He reaches out to turn the dial down a hint, sighing as he puts the truck in drive.

Gareth stares out his window as they pull away from the music shop.

“Why didn’t Eddie show up?” he asks.

Keeps his voice even so as not to let on how irritated he is. It works, for the most part, because Hargrove blows a raspberry and rests his elbow against the door panel.

“We got caught up trying to figure out why his van wouldn’t start, and when he realized he was late, he—“ Hargrove cuts himself off with a chuckle, an easy smile pulling at his lips. “He tripped up the porch steps. Started whining about having a concussion and a dislocated shoulder, and asked me to come pick you up.”

Gareth huffs.

“Figures.”

At that, Hargrove’s smile dims.

“Would’ve been worse if he’d shown up and been a drama queen the whole time, trust me.”

“It’s not that,” Gareth grumbles.

For a stretch of the street they’re driving down, only the music fills the silence between them. Hargrove’s grip on the wheel tightens.

“Well, I could’a said no, and you’d’ve been stuck on the curb all day. I’m not exactly thrilled about it either.”

His voice is lower. Testy. Like when he argues with Max or Steve and can no longer hide his blooming irritation.

Eddie has this way of making Hargrove laugh when things get too tense. Never lets the blond’s tone get under his skin no matter what they’re talking about, and takes it upon himself to lighten the mood.

Gareth wishes he was less easily affected like that.

“Didn’t have to come,” Gareth huffs. “I could’ve figured it out.”

Even out of the corner of his eye, he can see the angry red that creeps up Hargrove’s neck and pops the veins in his forehead.

Despite not having done anything remotely violent in recent years, Gareth still feels a small spike of anxiety at witnessing his little tells. Leans closer to the door and keeps careful attention.

After a tense moment, Hargrove takes a calming breath and sighs heavily. Relaxes his grip on the wheel and shifts in his seat, loosening up.

“I’m doing this for Eddie. Not you,” he says. “I don’t typically do free labor for people who hate my guts.”

Gareth’s brows draw closer together.

“I don’t… hate you.”

At the words, the blond chuckles, but it isn’t a happy sound.

“What’s your fuckin’ deal, then?”

“I don’t know. Nothing,” Gareth huffs. “Everything.”

“Well, which is it? You act like I’m some comic book villain when I can’t recall ever having done anything to you personally.”

Now, Gareth chuckles.

“Personally,” he murmurs. He takes a risk and turns to fully look at Hargrove, expecting to see more of that rage bloom on his skin again. Instead, he looks dejected. Sad, with his mouth pinched in a subtle frown, and his eyes vacant. Gareth sighs. “Look, it’s not… I don’t hate you. I just don’t get you, I guess? Plus, before you and Steve, Eddie used to actually care about doing shit with his friends. Today is a good example.”

After a moment of processing, Hargrove purses his lips.

“Edd cares. He’s just a little messy with his priorities — if he’d told Stevie that he was supposed to pick you up, he would’ve made sure everything happened on time.”

Gareth huffs. Slouches in his seat and props his elbow against the door, leaning his cheek against his hand.

“Right.”

“I’m serious. Who do you think plans all of your game nights?”

The brunet makes a face, and Hargrove chuckles again. Softer this time. Amused.

“Eddie’s always planned for that, though. Before he got with Steve.”

“Being in a club with a fixed schedule is very different than organizing things with complete flexibility,” Hargrove muses. Smiles to himself as he thinks briefly. “My point is that he does care. He’s also just… Eddie.” The two of them share a chuckle, and Gareth tenses when Billy playfully elbows him. “I promise I’m not stealing him from you.”

Instantly, Gareth’s face heats up, and he blows a raspberry in dismissal.

“Never said you were.”

“But you were thinkin’ it.”

With no valid argument, Gareth pouts. Crosses his arms over his chest and looks back out the window.

They’re only a few streets away from his place. That has his body welling with relief.

“Also,” Billy begins. “There’s nothing to get.”

Gareth glances back over at the blond.

“What?”

“About me. There’s nothing to get.”

“I mean—“ Gareth pauses, frustration building in his throat at the lack of proper words. Decides instead to gesture vaguely at Billy with his hand. “You’re not exactly an open book. I don’t think we’ve ever really even talked before today.”

“I know I’m not the most approachable guy, but you’ve never exactly tried to strike up a conversation with me before today.”

“That’s a two-way street,” Gareth grumbles.

Billy sighs.

“When you’re around, Eddie’s happy, and I don’t wanna ruin that because you and I don’t click for whatever stupid reason.” He shrugs nonchalantly, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel absently. “So I don’t make an effort to talk.”

The for Eddie goes unspoken at the end, but it’s thick in the air regardless. Gareth spreads a knowing grin, and Billy gives him a look out of the corner of his eye.

“So, Hargrove does have feelings.”

The blond tsks.

“Who said I didn’t?”

“No one. You’re just like if a stone wall was a person, is all.”

Billy giggles at that. Not laughs. Not chuckles. Giggles.

It’s a very not manly sound and has Gareth spreading a sort of bewildered grin upon hearing it, while also serving to chip the lingering intimidation away.

“I am not,” Billy muses.

“Yes huh. With barbed wire at the top, spikes at the bottom, and maybe even a mote with alligators up front.”

“Mm, and what makes you say that?”

The question makes Gareth think for a beat. They’re nearing his street now, and he sighs as he shrugs half-heartedly. Gestures at Billy lamely with his hand and earns a quirked eyebrow.

“I dunno. You’re… you, I guess.” The truck pulls up to the curb in front of Gareth’s house, and Billy throws it in park. Doesn’t take the key out of the ignition or move to open his door just yet. “Like some heavily guarded fortress at the top of a hill, overlooking a tiny village with no line of defense.”

The brunet presses his lips into a line. Doesn’t bother looking at the other seat out of embarrassment.

Billy is quiet. Then, he clicks his tongue and shifts idly in his seat, hand still on the wheel.

“I’m not really big on mystical analogies, but…” he begins with a sigh. “I’m more like the princess at the top of the tower, stuck in the fortress. Guarded by a fire-breathing dragon.” Billy drums his fingers against the steering wheel before he lets his hand drop to his lap. “There’s something to be said about Eddie and Steve being some knights in shining armor or something, but I think you get it.”

They sit there for a handful of seconds. Gareth mulls it over, thinks about what to say, but before he can open his mouth, Billy kills the engine. Pushes his door open and climbs out.

The truck jostles when he drops the tailgate, and Gareth hesitates before he gets out as well.

This time, rather than stand by and watch, he helps move everything from the bed to the garage. It goes by quicker, at least, that’s how it feels when they’re finally finished. Billy tosses the straps into the back of the truck and shuts the tailgate, cracking his knuckles absently.

“You need help setting anything up?” he offers.

Gareth shoves his hands into his pockets and glances over his shoulder into his garage.

“Nah, I got it from here,” he says. “Thanks.”

Billy nods.

“Anytime.”

He knocks lightly on his truck before he goes to walk back to the driver’s seat. Gareth chews his lip.

“See ya, princess.”

At that, Billy giggles again. Climbs into the front seat and starts it up. Then he’s driving away, music blasting, and Gareth turns to walk up the length of his driveway.

He’s still irritated about the events of today, but he’s a little relieved, too.

Because maybe Hargrove isn’t all that bad.

[jeannereames]

Out of curiosity, were there any facts (inasmuch as we can have in history) about atg/h that you were surprised to learn? Ones that are now in your view of them but when you learned them you thought them ooc or unrealistic

Sorry if this question doesn't make much sense, it's very late at night haha!

After studying them so long (over 30 years now), it can be hard for me to remember reactions, but two things do stick out:

When I realized Hephaistion wasn’t ethnically Macedonian.

While this is now pretty well-accepted, when I first stumbled over the name issue, back around 1995/96, working on my dissertation, nobody had assumed him anything other than a Macedonian. My discovery to the contrary was pure chance. The only place his origin town was given in our sources (Arrian) also happened to list Leonnatos as from Pella, but we know he was from Lynkestis. So I thought, “Oh, hey, I’ll go check and see if the names Hephaistion or Amyntor pop up on tombstones anywhere else in Macedonia.”

That was one BIG rabbit hole, let me tell you!

At the time, as a young scholar—even with oversight from two excellent senior ancient historians—I didn’t (in retrospect) do as thorough a job with the name search as I should have. I’ve remedied that since. My definitive work on Hephaistion’s ethnicity is now, “Becoming Macedonian: Name-mapping and Ethnic Identity. The case of Hephaistion,” with accompanying digital history mapping. But even back in the late ‘90s, my rudimentary onomastic (name) search was good enough to make my point so that it now appears in many/most entries on him. But it certainly wasn’t anything I expected to discover. An off-the-cuff question for my dissertation turned into a major rethinking about Hephaistion’s origins and helps us to better understand Macedonian naturalization.

The second surprise also concerns Hephaistion: that his military assignments were largely logistical and/or diplomatic.

When I set out to write my dissertation, my goal was to show that Hephaistion was more important than typically recognized in modern scholarship, so I collected every ancient reference to him, in all ancient sources. At the time, I did it on 3x5 cards. This research started in 1992, right after I got to Penn State. (Yes, I already knew what my dissertation would be on; I just had to convince Gene Borza that it was doable.)

Anyway, as I was playing with my cards, trying to sort them into broad types, I noticed some odd discrepancies. Now, first, be aware that statistics are a problem in ancient history because we have such SMALL samples. But looking at differences of 3-to-1, that got my attention.

That’s when I realized most of Hephaistion’s assignments were of a specific TYPE: logistical and/or diplomatic. Again, that’s now a generally accepted detail, but it wasn’t until I started making piles out of my 3x5 cards. Some of these conclusions were later published as “The Cult of Hephaistion,” with, yes, tables of these assignments.

This is a good place to make an important point for young scholars. Get in there and do the counting. Be comprehensive. Keep lists. Make 3x5 cards or sticky-notes. Record citations physically on large sheets of paper so you can visualize how it stacks up. In the day of digital, we lose track of just how much we can learn from SEEING in physical space.

Below are a couple pictures I took recently (2022), while recording Every. Single. Religious. Reference, in our 5 original sources. LOOK at it. Note the differences in patterns on the pages. That yielded a really interesting (to me) book chapter on how our sources talk about Philip and Alexander’s use of religion on campaign. This will come out in 2024 as part of a Companion book edited by Ed Anson. (Yes, there are tables!) I took the pictures to show Ed I was hard at work on it, as I was running a little late. But I’m glad I did take it, as it really illustrates how much one can deduce just from seeing.

I’ll be taking the same tactic as I move forward on my study of Hephaistion and Krateros’s careers. I’ll do for Krateros the same thing I did for Hephaistion (I still have those cards!). But I’ll also sort references by ancient author, to see patterns in how each represents the two men. I think it’s important to look at both, a horizontal examination of the type of reference, and a vertical look at trends within authors.

Yeah, I like my lists/tables. But I believe in being thorough. Impressions are suspect. Show me the numbers. (Even if I went into history to avoid math!)

[iriswave]

Yisssssss!!!

G1 is SO 80s. I love how much it shows through whether it being Soundwaves alt being a tape player or the gorgeous 80s cars or the episode where they’re in a quintessential 80s dance club! It’s so classic.

Season two is incredible and has some iconic episodes!

The animation is chock full of errors but honestly it’s funny seeing two Starscream’s or Optimus turning blue for no reason like just learn to laugh, people! And yeah I remember reading something about the time constraints being unrealistic but they got the episodes out anyway.

The animation of the 1986 movie is BEAUTIFUL. Oh my god I need to see that movie again and the music is ROCKIN!!! Ahhhhhhhh it’s SO GOOD!!!!!

Seasons 3 and 4 are very different from the rest of the show (no spoilers!) but I still really like them. I think se 2 is the golden age of G1 but that’s just my opinion.

And yeah the voice actors are so good! Peter and Frank are some of the greatest of all time and there’s some other greats in there. Casey Kasem is in it (you might know him as Shaggy from Scooby Doo) and Scatman Crothers (you might know him as Scat Cat from the Aristocats). Chris Latta voices Starscream and Wheeljack. He’s freakin awesome. I think he voiced cobra commander in the gi joe series?

But gahhhhhh they’re all so cool!!!

Yesssss Peter Cullen and Frank Welker have been besties for like 40 years!! I recommend any Comic-Con Q&A panel with them. They’re absolutely hilarious. I have been lucky enough to be present at a few of these and can confirm they are absolute chaos besties. They’re also some of the nicest people I’ve ever met.

Transformers does not feel right without them. The only show I’ve seen without them that I liked was Transformers Animated but it has a very different style to it and it works. But Peter and Frank make transformers what it is and I’ll die on this hill. (Granted they have a competent director. Bayverse doesn’t count. Kitchen utensils pffffffftt)

Transformers One hasn’t done it for me. Their cast is a joke (no offense to those actors. They’re very good in live action but voice acting is a different industry with its own big names and none of those names are present.) and yeah the animation isn’t doing much for me. I’m really picky with 3D animation and this one just falls flat for me. I’m not a fan of the designs. Granted I was absolutely spoiled by the gorgeous 3D work in Transformers Prime. I don’t think any 3D animation can top that tbh. So it’s all kind meh for me. But I won’t shit on it too much. I haven’t seen it and it may well have fantastic writing. I won’t know lol cause I won’t see it.

Honestly I’m more concerned about running into ooc characters in the canon shows than in fanfic XD XD

The majority of the fic I’ve read revolved around Soundwave and was on Wattpad cause that’s what I was using in 2017. I haven’t read too much on AO3 yet but if I run across some good ones I’ll definitely send them your way! I’d recommend Gen fics or OC fics if you don’t like the pairings. Yeah 99.9999999 percent of our ships are slash because 99.9999999 percent of the characters are male (or male as far as transformers logic goes.) I think the majority of fic covers Prime and the IDW comic series (if you’re into comics and like to suffer I HIGHLY recommend MTMTE!!!!! It is addicting.) but G1 has a very sizable chunk of fic all to itself. And there’s going to be some excellent stuff in there!

I’m going to go poke around the filters real quick. I’ll be back!

I still cannot get over the fact that G1 Optimus Prime and Knight Rider's KARR have the same voice actor

[cancerjupiter]

astro notes: neptune edition (pt. 2)

neptune represents issues which are frequently unconscious, so all of this may operate without your awareness. if projected, the negative aspects of neptune become more emphasised. the more you reject it in your own life, the more likely it is that you’ll meet it in exaggerated ways outside yourself.

neptune in the 7th house

this is another loaded placement; you are likely to encounter difficulties in the area of personal relationships. there are many manifestations of this placement: you may look for a savior to ease the feelings of loneliness and isolation rather than taking responsibility by becoming your own person, you might wish to merge with your partner. if you become too dependent on anyone, they’re going to let you down one way or another. the alternative manifestation is you playing savior to your partner. hence, the reputation of this placement as a magnet to victim types (negatively: drug addicts, unstable people w a shady/difficult past, “artists”, wannabe geniuses and prophets, etc) who need a lot of mothering and cleaning up after.

wherever neptune is placed in the chart, a lot is asked of us. you often give a lot in relationships - often sacrificing things for the sake of your partner. some of you exhibit a kind of selfless, saintly love worthy of true respect, but this can easily turn into letting yourself being walked over as if you have no rights in the relationship. there is a fine line between authentic selflessness and tolerance and just being a doormat. your often idealized romantic notion of what a relationship looks like doesn’t consider the hard work that must be put into it. the yearning for perfection in your partner + the relationship actually makes you very difficult people to live with. unconsciously, you can be very critical and judgemental about the other’s flaws or whatever element they have that doesn’t match your notion of Love. soulmates can still argue about the way the other squeezes the toothpaste tube, it doesn’t mean the love isn’t very much real. ultimately, this planet should represent a non-attached love, a love that doesn’t cling or swallow up any of the people involved. somewhere between demanding others adjust to you, or always adjusting yourselves to others, is the kind of envisioned neptunian love.

neptune in the 8th house

if neptune can’t be at home (12th house) then his next favorite house is that of his bestie, pluto (8th). neptune’s major thrust is the loss of boundaries - what better place to lose them than in the house of sex, sharing and intimacy?

sex is often symbolic in this position; rather than just being enjoyed for its sake, it is the means to alleviate psychological pressures and concerns. sex is also a way of merging with others, hence transcending the means of oneself. i’ve noticed physical intimacy is also an escape from loneliness, and the promiscuity associated w this placement comes from this. some may feel that giving themselves sexually is also a way of serving. this placement is also present in people confused about their sexual identities. neptune is so diffuse and adaptable, so fluid and shapeless, that they have difficulty knowing what they really want. conversely, problematic aspects to saturn may suggest a fear of letting go - a tension between holding on and letting go (abstaining from sex altogether). my friend with this placement told me she always fantasizes about people she isn’t with rather than her girlfriend. neptune is never content with what it has. besides, if you know someone too well, their alien magnetism eventually wears out.

there may be complications and strange circumstances in the area of the partner’s money and joint finances. economic losses and gains will have a significant psychological impact, and could ultimately stop you from finding security inwardly rather than on the material world. in any case, you should seek advice for making financial investments. depending on the aspects, non-material forces can operate constructively or destructively within you. positively, you’ll receive guidance and inspiration as if out of nowhere and are well advised to keep up a dream diary, for they may prove significant to whatever you’re going through. you may serve as a source of comfort and inspiration for others who are going through crisis (david bowie, malcolm x, simone de beauvoir, etc); negatively, you may feel possessed - as if you’ve been taken over by something powerful outside yourself. you may receive misleading guidance from other dimension.

since neptune wants to go Home and the 8th house is the house of Death, some people w this placement may entertain self-destructive fantasies when life gets too tough. unless neptune has harsh aspects to saturn, there isn’t a fear of death, since the desire to transcend worlds is so strong.

neptune in the 9th house

both neptune and the 9th house have a tendency to need the “right” answer, there’s a possibility for an enduring search for The Truth (think Mulder from the x-files). both are mutable and connected to faith and beliefs. both are haunted by the need for perfection due to unrealistic expectations. neither is noted for common sense or doing anything half-assed. the thing is, this placement will tend to overemphasise whatever issues are valued to you. naturally, pisces (neptune) is square sagittarius (9th house), indicating some conflict to be resolved. neptune in the 9th is also a mix of fire and water, giving it a great emotional intensity.

there’s two types of you: those who will lean towards the 9th house and say the truth no matter who gets hurt; and those who follow neptune and choose to lie to protect others’ feelings. you’re pulled in both directions and will need to find a middle ground to satisfy your need for truth and others at the same time. if you don’t, explosions of repressed feelings will occur that will seem OOC for the people around you. you also must be wary of your expectations with education; being educated about everything won’t fulfill every need in you.

balance is an important lesson for you. you always want to go overboard w the next big idea; the challenge is to act on them practically and without dangerous disruptions in other areas of your life. examine your personal beliefs, conscious and unconscious. clarify your expectations about truth, philosophy and the meaning of life.

neptune in the 10th house

positively, someone with this placement can be drawn into a deeply spiritual or creative career, or maybe something to do with counseling. you’ll be inclined to dedicate a great deal of time and energy to said career because it provides you with an enormous sense of fulfillment that you don’t find in other areas of life. you might as well revolve your life around your job. that’s fine, as long as you stay aware of your choice and make the effort to cultivate some personal relationships and outside interests. you tend to be happiest when working - with something you love, obviously. you may feel a responsibility to contribute something meaningful to the world, whether in terms of helping others or creatively. that’s great, but you’ll also feel your work is just that, a contribution - a piece in the grand scheme of things.

you’ll be a great deal happier when employed, but you also need to feel you’re improving; you’re ambitious, whether or not you’re aware of it. you always have an eye in the possibility of promotion, for the 10th house is not only about a career but to success defined in worldly terms. this means an unconscious need to gain more and more, in position, status and salary. if this remains unconscious, you might let it take over your life. few people find lifetime satisfaction within a career unless it’s spiritual, educational or creative. 

negatively, this placement finds people who can’t find satisfaction anywhere outside their job. such person lives for her job, and expects it to provide for all needs: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. they may expect the job itself to be perfect, and be miserable when it’s not. another negative expression is the indecision regarding a career, not being able to truly commit to anything. you want something big and important, something perfect (ps: it doesn’t exist), something better and of more help to humanity than anyone else has come up with. yet you often expect to accomplish this without any training or effort.

this placement might also refer to the father (10th house = saturn): you might think the world of your dad and wish to be like him or, negatively, you may have expected him to be perfect. some of you might have him on a pedestal and not accept the idea of him being less than perfect. or he might’ve been a strange figure; he might’ve been withdrawn, either a victim or simply a loner. he may have died or left your life altogether, leaving you with a fantasy figure, a father who only exists in your mind. you’ll benefit greatly by examining your beliefs about his importance in your life. you might avoid thinking of him altogether and the same is true of your career: you might expect far too much or deny its importance.

neptune in the 11th house

this placement inspires a natural caring for others and immediate feeling of bonding and solidarity with those with whom wer share this planet. many have an utopian visions and will join groups that promote humanitarian or social causes. you feel the need to participate w other in bringing their idea of good into the world. you’ll likely fight for the underdog. if some segment of society is mistreated, you feel it as if it were happening to you. some might be more attracted to artistic or spiritual groups. if neptune has hard aspects, your group might have big ideas but never bring them to fruition.

in less politically minded people, group activities can simply be a way of escaping routine. you could lose yourselves in a social whirl, seeking ever more interesting friends and parties. if neptune is badly aspected, there could be disillusionment or deception through friendships. you easily feel your friendship ideals are being betrayed. some may even manipulate friends by making them feel sorry for you. another manifestation of this placement is that your friends carry the neptunian projection: you might find yourself drawn to artists, healers, romantic daydreamers, or just losers lmao.

neptune in the 12th house

ahh, neptune at home. this can be a double dose of either comfort or dissatisfaction. the hardest part of this placement is the lack of consciousness about itself and how it operates. what works from the unconscious has far more power to affect us than we think. 

it might be difficult for you to think about your own values; they’re so unquestioned as to be beyond challenge. you think they simply are what they are, and resist any categorisation or definition. you can’t separate yourself from them. with neptune here, you’re less connected to the material world than others, more in tune with the spiritual one. you could well have psychic abilities. you never fully embrace “reality” because you’re aware, if only barely, that the universe encompasses so much more than our minds can handle. the danger is that you’ll come to this conclusion before developing any ego strenght. with ego strenght, you honor yourself as well as your vision; without it you’ll tend to be overwhelmed and easily terrified.

with neptune in the 12th, you need to take a long hard look at your tendency to idealise peace, universal love, sacrifice and service, art and music, and the spiritual path. this placement isn’t a problem by itself, unless there’s other contradicting placements or bad aspects. if nothing is repressed or ignored, it’s actually a fantastic gift. the main problem is the aforementioned lack of awaress of what your values mean and how they affect the quality of your life. my friend with this placement feels that death is simply another step of growth for the soul; of course she grieves, but she tends to think everything happens for a reason. i deeply admire her ability to live in touch with both the material and spiritual world.

[varcn]

   in defense to varon: a long rant about dub vs. sub.

    i want to start this post by saying that throughout my time with varon as a muse ( over five or so years ago ), i’ve seen hate towards his character & a lot of it, are issues with the dub or issues that could be explained ( not justified ) by learning about his background ( which was omitted pretty much in the dub ). so, with this post, i want to address some of those issues ( which i also share ) & explain why i lean towards the sub.

     one of the major critiques i’ve seen about his character, is his entitlement to mai & i agree, but let me just say that this was mainly a problem in the dub.

   i will go on a bit of a tangent & say that yes, doma had many issues & many ‘ooc’ moments. there’s been a lot of frustration towards mai’s character regression, & while i understand that as an audience, it might be frustrating or disappointing, i like to see it through a more ‘realistic’ perspective. mai suffered a lot because of yami malik. she was shown with trauma ( possible ptsd or depression ), so to me, the fact that she went back to her old ways when she was alone isn’t entirely unrealistic. what i had a problem with, was how yugi & co. decided to react to this, completely dismissing her feelings & blaming it entirely on the orichalcos brainwashing her, which... yes & no. the orichalcos made her want to defeat jou because she wanted to move on, as it was clear that him not being there + envy had caused resentment towards him & the group. however, the resentment was already there. mai felt abandoned, left behind, etc. she wanted to be saved even though she wasn’t reaching out or saying she needed the help. emotions aren’t always rational, so even if she knew that they wouldn’t know unless she said something, that didn’t stop her from feeling some type of way towards them.

    valon is no different in the dub.

   first meeting / flashback

     when they meet, he makes promises of power & how he could grant her that. he always portrayed himself as mai’s saviour or knight in shining armour. he was entitled to her from the beginning because she ‘owed’ it to him. to me, it felt as if the dub was trying to mirror jou by dumbing him down ( jou is also dumbed down ), & make it seems like ‘look, they’re the same, just good vs bad! ). in the sub, however, i see it more as ‘varon is what jou could’ve become, had he not found yugi & co’.

     in the sub, mai breaks down because she’s alone, hurt & ‘needs to be saved’, because nothing she does ever feels as enough. varon starts by telling her that she’s a strong woman, despite losing to him & collapsing to her knees. he called her strong because she’s still trying, & doesn’t make her promises about giving her power, like in the dub. instead, he tells her ( perhaps a bit harsh, but true ) that no one will save her ( oh, the irony ) & that she needs to save herself. this alone, is a comment he makes from experience & shows how varon sees things. it’s him vs the world. he can’t rely on anyone else, & even shows some anger towards rafael when he tries to help.

    he’s a loner, like mai, & while what he said isn’t the best advice, it’s all he knows. in the end, he disproved his own advice because he saw how blinded mai was & the risks she was taking as consequence of it. he saw that no, she couldn’t do things alone in the state she was & he wanted her to rely on him.

    * this is also the first instance of varon showing any care / concern towards someone, as later on, he even tells mai he’s willing to go against doma / dartz for her sake. take that as you will.

       valon, the ‘r/niceguy’.

     another scene that comes to mind, it’s the conversation that they have in the desert. in the dub, valon goes on about how he can make things better for her, & when she tells him ‘i don’t like you’, he responds in a condescending tone about how he knows how she feels towards him. one of his main issues towards jou, both in dub & sub ( thought the sub emphasizes more on it ) is how dismissive him & the others are of mai’s feelings. the dub just shows how much of a hypocrite he is because he does just that. he tells her how she feels, despite being vulnerable. i’ve watched this scene in spanish & english & while the dialogue is pretty much the same, the only difference is that in the spanish version, he sounds more soft-spoken & ‘casual’. i guess the bad cockey accent didn’t help.

     as for the sub, varon tells mai how she feels, but not in the way that the dub portrays. i think we could elude the fact that between episodes, & even before the entire season, there has been interaction between mai & varon. at least, enough for varon to know about her resentment to jou & see some of mai’s pain. he describes how she’s been living her life based on his own experience, because he sees a lot of himself in her.

    varon tells her that he is just like that. that he can’t live if he can’t win, just like her. it doesn’t come off as him dictating how she feels or making assumptions, but rather, it’s coming from a place of understanding.

     & this is the scene where the confession comes up. i guess, the dub wanted to have this love triangle without saying it was a love triangle ( which i always found weird that they wanted to allude to this, considering the amount of censorship. somehow, it was okay for mai to be interested in a teenager? ).  it only goes as far as ‘i know you feel the same way i do’, & left for interpretation. the sub doesn’t do that. varon is always straight-forward with what he says & doesn’t shy away from it. sure, it’s not the most healthy for him to make her his reason of living, but keep in mind that he didn’t have the healthiest of upbringings, either. there’s a lot of things that he needs to learn & overcome before getting into a relationship. especially if it’s with someone who has unresolved issues, as well.

    he tells her to ‘be his woman’ ( & whether you want to take that as a display of toxic masculinity or him awkwardly asking her out in a way that doesn’t seem to ‘vulnerable’, it’s up to you ). mai merely responds with ‘you have to defeat me first’, only for him to remind her that he has.

    nyeh? nyeh

     another thing that the dub loves to do, is dumbing down characters, & varon wasn’t the exception. it was clear that they wanted someone like jou & in the process, they took a lot of those serious / deep moments that varon displayed in the sub. their duel further proves that by having them both wear armour & i will leave it at that because that whole thing gets me so mad lmao. it turns into a duel of ‘i know what’s best for mai despite what she says or thinks’ & even the abridged called it out, because varon came from a place of ‘i’m doing this to help her’ rather than ‘i know what’s best for her’.

 thank you 4kids for your censorship!

      something you can’t just omit when considering varon’s character, is the way he grew up. the dub literally took about 90% of it & had him seeming almost proud / reminiscent about his time in jail. that’s it. we see him go to an island, win against a bunch of grown-ups & join doma. then what???

     now, if one thats the sub backstory in consideration, the way that he acts towards mai isn’t all that strange. in fact, i’d say it explains it. varon had nothing. he grew up an orphan, & a violent one, at that. the only person he appears close to / someone he cares about, is the nun that raised him. she tended to his wounds despite disappointing her & getting into fights even though she had told him to stop. this was someone who hadn’t given up despite him failing her over & over. this was someone he was willing to kill for, if it meant protecting her, & he possibly did. after the church was burnt down, he sought for the men he thought were responsible for it & attacked them with a metal pipe.

   he was just a kid. possibly a pre-teen against four grown ass men. it’s unclear whether he killed them or not, but the fact that varon is shown in prison, with adults, leads me to think that he was processed as one due to the degree of the crime. even then, he was still violent & forced into solitary confinement + a straight jacket for who knows how long. & let’s keep in mind that his only way out, was by defeating a bunch of dudes ( basically killing them with the orichalcos ). unlike amelda or rafael, doma wasn’t an escape from his life. it was his freedom.

      the guy had nothing & expected nothing. he lived each day as it was, reason why he appears to be so carefree about things. & despite his similarities with jou, let me just say that they’re still not the same. even if jounouchi went through his share of trauma, their experiences were different. the way jou sees or reacts to something, won’t be the way that varon will react to it, & i feel that’s something a lot of people don’t consider.

    i think it’s commemorable that despite everything, varon still manages to care for someone as much as he does with mai. he didn’t fight jou to ‘win her over’, he fought him so that he wasn’t setting her back. the dub has valon almost ‘handing her’ to jou after losing, which completely missed the point of that whole duel. because in the sub, varon realizes he may be doing more harm than good & experiences that ‘thrill’ that he had been searching for. he comes to understand mai better, & the fact that he can help her without having to be her saviour.

    he trusts jou will bring her to her senses, but also trusts that she will do it, because let me remind you that even in during her ‘weakest moment’, he saw her as a strong woman.

[kinetic-elaboration]

May 21: The 100 2x11 Coup De Grace

It’s late, my computer’s more tired than I am (and hardcore hates me and very well may decide to eat this entire post who even knows), and this is probably a bad idea but I’m gonna do it anyway.

Or at least start.

Another episode, or partial episode, of The 100.

This opening torture sequence makes me so uncomfortable. Which like I get is the point but tbh I’m just not into ‘look how unflinching we are at the realities of Bad Stuff.’ Especially when my tired computer is skipping and the sequence becomes, like...trippy. Trippier.

This is probably a super bad idea because my computer literally cannot handle video lol. I am going to restart it.

It’s actually kind of nuts that Monty’s been missing for 2 days and Harper even longer and Jasper and Maya are like ‘this is weird and upsetting but I guess we’ll find them somewhere!!’ Well, Maya more than Jasper. Mount Weather isn’t THAT big.

“You have to look like nothing’s wrong. Like everything’s okay” is so sad. I think it’s situations like that that make S2 my favorite, just b/c I’m a sucker for scenarios of enclosed tension. Like, forget war and blah blah blah, I want this, like... secretive, spying, being spied upon, uncertainty. That’s the real horror in a satisfying way.

Gosh his haircut is awful though.

When does Clarke learn to ride a horse?

I have literally no idea what’s happening bc I rewatch these eps so infrequently.

Clarke just got “yes ma’amed.” I find that semi-hilarious, not because she’s 18 but because you knew Grounders used words like “ma’am.”

I love Clarke’s single-mindedness. “We can’t stop for water. We can’t stop for anything. We’re on a mission. And Bellamy might have called!” AWWNH!Clarke is so OOC lol but she has a different background okay?

I’m not really in the mood to trust Abby about anything. Does she... actually make good decisions? I feel like you’d have to track her through all of the seasons but I am inclined to say...perhaps......not.

So the Mountain Men tried to assassinate Clarke and Lexa. Completely forgot about that.

The introduction of Echo. I just... I just have no opinions on her, I guess. Literally my only opinion is that she should have been the Ice Queen and, not being the Ice Queen, she’s just not interesting to me. I will say, she couldn’t have been in Mount Weather long if she knew who the Sky People are, as they’ve only been on the ground about a month. But also...why does she hate them? They were only fighting with Trikru, and Azgeda territory isn’t even, like, in the vicinity.

I love Dante but he has some major balls looking Jasper in the face and saying he doesn’t know where his friends are. I mean, he doesn’t, because Cage stole them, but how do you just MISPLACE people in a 600,000 square foot bunker? Where COULD they go?

I’m sure I’ve said this before but as someone who went to a high school with a uniform I find it HIGHLY unrealistic that all these teenage boys tuck in their shirts and keep them tucked in all the time without exceptions.

Jasper being protective of Monty <3<3<3.

So it was MW that told them there were no Ark survivors. Did I know that? Did I forget that? Not that it matters as my Clarke/Maya fic is done lol.

Dante is the most Hilarious and Wonderful of all of the attempted father figures on this show I said what I said--they’re all terrible but at least he bring the Weird Father Figure energy to 11. I’ll lie to you but it’s to protect you, call you son (always weird), super good at self-defense--ah-ha! sword at at your neck!

“This is not a toy.” If the sword is in MW it’s probably Important and Famous.

IMO and I completely stand by this assessment, it’s harder for Jasper to be brave than it is for other people, and he was really brave, and it worked, and I’m proud of him.

I realize this is also a problem with the literal world but we actually do know that torture isn’t effective so Indra being all upset that she’s not allowed to torture Emerson is just so....exhausting to me. Like Clarke isn’t suggesting not torturing him bc she loves the high ground and must walk it at all times. She’s suggesting not torturing him bc the last time she tortured someone, she got 0 good information. And even though neither of them know it, it was the shit information garnered from torture that led Finn to TonDC! Also if they had let Emerson die, the Grounder would have also still died--it’s not that they chose to use resources on one and not the other. They had two different types of wounds. I mean I guess if they’d brought them in faster without patching up Emerson in the field? That’s probably what she meant. However the Grounder Death Cult and their complete willingness to declare their fight over at the merest papercut makes me again less sympathetic to this point of view.

I’d literally already forgotten that someone tried to assassinate Clarke like an hour earlier. Abby doesn’t need to be concerned about that, lol, Clarke’s used to it!

Okay first I did have a longstanding headcanon that Echo had a crush on Bellamy going way back--I mean that’s practically canon, yeah?--but now I’m super convinced because in their second scene together, he sacrifices himself for her using information she gave him (that MW takes the loud/strong looking ones), even though she greeted him by spitting in his face, and actually, that was very heroic and selfless of him. I’d fall in love too.

Second, I thought she had no tattoos because she’s a spy or w/e but I CLEARLY see tattoos on her legs. And they are not white either.

I don’t think I ever realized that Maya found Bellamy because she was in the infirmary/harvest chamber looking for Harper and Monty. I do not have a good memory for each scene leading into the next. AND she think she’s found them when she sees how fast the random patient’s treatment is working, because that has to be a Sky Person and she would never guess Bellamy.

They really do just talk about their little torture machine casually all the time. “I need to go over the treatment schedule so I know how many cages to clear.”

Hey so like how did Maya get in if she’s not cleared for this facility?

What a wonderful time to remember yet again that if Bellamy knows who Maya is from her reference to Jasper, Clarke, who saw Maya and Jasper flirt like ONE TIME, must have told him about them, which is cute and funny all at once.

Maya: “I wanted to see what was so special about him, but... he’s dead.” Bellamy: Ah yes! I’m dead! * immediately closes his eyes * Why am I laughing so hard at this?

Good thing they take dead bodies down slowly instead of just thunking them on their heads.

Maya, Bellamy, and Echo v. Lovejoy is a pretty satisfying fight. Also, what did Clarke just say about Emerson talking b/c they saved his life? Echo helps Bellamy because he saved her life. Sometimes you get more flies with honey.

I tend to forget that Bellamy literally strangled this guy with his bare hands. Like it was self-defense to some degree, in that this had to be a fight to the death, but it was also just pure fucking rage. Like he said, he (like Clarke for a while) wants to kill everyone in the Mountain.

And then he thanks Echo and asks Maya if she’s all right. A True Catch. Tbh I could see something forming out of Echo and Bellamy here, but not after some of the later twists and turns in the later narrative.

Honesty, I’ve always loved Maya but... let’s just appreciate her, shall we? That was horrific, seeing someone she knew killed in front of her--and helping, because she knew he was on the wrong side, even though that was the same side she’d been on her whole life. Is she completely in the moment, or is she already seeing that there’s no way out for her here? That the people they’ve brought into the Mountain are really going to destroy it?

Bellamy coming out in Lovejoy’s clothes looks like a kid trying on new clothes at the mall before the new school year. Except he’s just dumped a body down a trash chute.

Like “I’ll come back for you, I promise”--I can see a basis for a ship in that. So far it is 100% built on how Echo would have to be dumb not to fall in love with Bellamy but still.

This Maya and Bellamy scene is amazing. I love every aspect of it.

Lemme just...watch that Jonty hug on repeat.

Honestly they even ended the scene with them walking out the door together even though there’s no way anyone could have moved Harper that fast and there’s also no indication of who moved her or how. Guess she’s...not that important...?? LOL??

Kane has only two modes: fairly ineffectual bastard or utterly ineffectual neo-hippie. “You’re not grasping the situation! We’re nice! Be nice to us!” I probably shouldn’t mock him bc he is me lol, I also would not know what else to say to Emerson other than ‘please????’ but still. Common sense and peace and love would be great but those aren’t shared values I guess.

And then he goes 180 to ‘let’s torture him then?’

What you should be doing is good cop bad cop. Or like, wearing him down with repeated questioning? I heard that’s an effective interrogation technique, although here Emerson has a certain advantage of time and that his interrogators are way more easily annoyed than he is easily worn down or confused.

Anyway I remember now. Clarke ultimately solves this problem with that ultimate BDE moment, sending him with a message and 6 hours of oxygen. She really is just the Smartest.

At least Kane acknowledges that the Chancellorship is a completely random title since Abby literally just kinda stole it? Like Jaha is the rightful Chancellor and Kane is the second-most-rightful Chancellor and she’s just sorta...there? But it also doesn’t matter because as established, Clarke is the one actually in charge.

This Bellamy and Maya elevator scene is also the kind of tension that I like. Is Bellamy...legitimately considering shooting him? In the elevator? That would end badly lol. He has this idea to just start randomly offing people in public/enclosed places, while Lexa is all like ‘we can’t save TonDC bc it would blow Bellamy’s cover!’ like the irony.

I wonder if the MW classes are like...to some end, like, mandatory schooling that must be completed, or if they’re just like for funsies? I think the second, partially because it’s an “Expressionist class” which doesn’t seem like the Three Rs and partially because this dude doesn’t seem upset that Maya didn’t show, like he’s just vaguely wondering where she was.

“We’ve accomplished great things” in that tone is like the MOST American thing I have ever heard. (I can say this because I’m American.)

“We’ve been bleeding people to stay alive for generations. That’s our legacy” is true in the sense that Dante’s line in the sane is...truly in the sand. But also has it been ‘generations’? I’m not sure you understand how time works, show-as-a-whole. I mean maybe this is technically true? They probably discovered Grounders like....50 years ago? Which is sort of “generations.” But when you say it like that it makes it sound way longer.

You wanna root for Dante over Cage because he’s on the side of our heroes but in terms of like bitter logic Cage has the advantage. What they’ve already done and what Dante has managed to rationalize to himself is bad enough. They’re already Doing Bad Things, doing yet more bad things isn’t going to bother anyone. Especially when these extra bad things (1) come out to the same--torturing/killing people and (2) lead them to a permanent home on the ground.

I wonder if Dante/MW justified what they did to Grounders with stories of them being like...irradiated mutants. Like literally inhuman. So it ‘doesn’t count.’ I mean objectively they’re wrong of course but I mean in their heads. And then for Dante the line is so obvious between killing radiation casualties and killing just normal humans like themselves, whereas for Cage--who sees the Grounders more because of Cerberus, and knows they don’t look that much different, that they are also just people underneath the masks and big clothes--sees no difference between the Grounders and the Sky People, and if he’s already sullied himself by using one set, he can continue sullying himself, for a greater cause, by using the other set. It’s just a question of which story you’re telling yourself and how much you’re willing to lie.

The plotting of this season is, overall, very good. Especially in the second half.

I think Clarke’s default mode when stressed is order giving. It’s part of the control thing. She’s okay if she has everything under control, and if she knows everything, and when she has all that knowledge and control it just...spills out of her, directing people with what they need to do and where they need to go.

Whereas Raven’s in full ‘falling out of love with Clarke’ mode.

Also I think Clarke is very quick to comfort people and she is genuine in this but because she ALSO has her agenda and her strident tone and her controlled demeanor, it can look like manipulation. Or at least, if I were her friend, I would always wonder if she really cared or if she just wanted me to calm down so my emotions weren’t in the way of The Plan.

My 15 second Raven, Clarke, and Octavia scene. Lemme just rewatch this a bunch of times too.

“Jackson found genetic marker anomalies that can only come from someone born on the Ark.” Remember when people were theorizing that this was a big deal in some way? The Arkers were genetically modified to withstand space? I remember that being a theory. Anyway in retrospect, it’s just a Plot Device. Possibly a Pseudo-Science Plot Device I would not know.

Never mind. “We were genetically engineered. They weren’t.” So it is in fact canon, just meaningless canon. HOW IS THIS SOME RANDOM THROWAWAY LINE?

Clarke’s feral moments are the best.

It’s cute how Abby continues to think Clarke isn’t in charge.

Having Bell run into Lovejoy’s son is cheap but effective. I still remember that scene and I can really feel the full effect on him through Bob’s acting and the music. I also always remember that line “What did you expect you’d find here?” Because the answer is obviously ‘monsters.’ They had their simple narrative too: about how MW were the bad guys and thus they could destroy them all and it would be vengeful and feel good. But it’s more complicated than that: everyone in the Mountain is complicit in terrors. But many of them passively so. Bellamy was ready to kill all of them, and so was Clarke, but he changes his mind based on this encounter, tells her about it over the radio, and makes HER change her mind and in fact change her entire plan, by the time she explains it in 2x15.

And it’s sad for Maya too because Bellamy is being aided by her but she is still a Mountain Person. It’s easy to say ‘she’s an exception, she’s Jasper’s friend, she’s our friend.’ But she’s done everything he hates the Mountain for. If the whole Mountain is evil, she’s evil. And to the extent you can’t be both pro-MW and pro-Sky People, she’s put in this impossible position of choosing sides, or trying to switch sides abruptly. Bellamy sees that, and it’s like yet one more additional layer to his guilt over what he did, because he sees a new angle to how it affected Maya,  without whom he’d be dead.

Jonty the leader couple. And Jasper’s face when Monty says “We’re not safe here.”

S2 is my favorite bc of plotting like this episode: just as the 47 are about to leave, Cage stages his coup. Just as Bellamy is about to see his friends, the doors lock and they’re trapped. The moment when Jasper sees Bellamy--with absolutely no reason to believe this could even be possible. In trying to plan fics that use S2 I tend to get confused about the plot bc it goes back and forth and circles around a lot, but in actually watching it, it’s quite effective, and I think part of the circling confusion is just bc there are so many moving parts, people need to be in the right places at the right times, meet and separate at the right moments, so it can read awkwardly in summary. But they did a good job ultimately, I think.

Another thing about S2 generally is that even though it’s much more expansive than S1 in terms of locations and number of characters and groups of characters, ultimately almost everything revolves around one story (except for the CoL setup stuff), and 2 main locations that have meaning, with various points in between. So it is more concise and more centralized and more meaningful than later seasons, which become increasingly spread out and disjointed. Or so I try to explain to myself at 1am.

Yaaaay emotional Princess Mechanic and then Bravenlarke. I live for these moments when characters are just like...emotional together.

I don’t know if I find it realistic that Clarke would be like ‘it’s over’ so fast but nevertheless I like Raven and Bellamy picking her back up.

Clarke’s relieved face...she’s in love.

Bellamy: I’m fine. Me: He’s a liar!!! But I guess they can talk about his emotions later.

When they’re all together, they’re all better. Like immediately. Even Clarke’s “Raven’s going to help you” with a little look to her, like, this isn’t an order, and Raven nods....

I love that Bellamy took Maya’s expression to mean “It’s not a problem” when it quite obviously meant “It’s a huge problem.” But also Clarke smiled for .05 seconds so I think she knew he was a-lying. This could be a sitcom if it were a totally different show.

Weirdly, I watched part of 2x15 again for a fic I decided not to write atm and...they don’t actually use the Grounders as a Trojan Horse army. Their plan NOT to kill everyone including the kids meant basically that they used their real army as a distraction and then just took the inside-Grounders out the back way. Or that was the idea. Which in retrospect is actually kind of disappointing.

Clarke’s power walk through the hallway with her Grounder Entourage is just so....satisfying. This is the emotional payoff that got me into this show.

Clarke just literally staging a coup against her own mother, using the Grounder force that sees her as a leader, is so.... I feel like I have never appreciated it before this rewatch. I think in the past I found it kind of annoying tbh. But this time I like it a lot more. I like Clarke’s just insane levels of confidence and self-assurance. It is a good look.

First of all the parallel to the Wallaces. But more importantly, I always wanted this big story line of Delinquents Versus Arkers that never fully came as I wanted it, but this is pretty close, where she’s just used to being in charge by now, so you know what, she is. And the only thing she needs to make her desire for power real is muscle, which she has, thanks to Lexa, so she uses it. It’s also very satisfying. And should ultimately have been the groundwork for the delinquents to form a separate community but WHAT DO I KNOW?

All that said, and this isn’t contradictory, but Clarke picks like the MOST inflammatory way to go about her plan. She just does it, she gives no explanation, she stages a showdown at the gate with her own Mom the Chancellor. There is a subtler way of doing this. But I like that she didn’t do subtle because it’s IC for her. It’s IC for her age (who is more Dramatique than a teen?) and it’s IC for her place in her hero’s arc: under L’s influence, she’s becoming big-headed, leaning into the sin of pride, here in the form of “I do can do no wrong,” and by 2x16 in the form of “I can do no right, no one has ever been more wrong than I, no one has ever been more sorrowful than I, let me perform penance in the woods.”

Pride: the most annoying deadly sin.

Anyway.

And Kane, who always bows to the Alpha Female in the room, immediately enables Clarke’s Drama.

“Let our people go and we’ll let you live. It’s just that simple.”

“The Grounder army is bigger than you think and the acid fog can’t hurt them” is honestly a bluff though? Because again, they do not use or even PLAN to use the inside Grounders and they DO plan to take out the acid fog so??? I guess the point, if she was protecting Bellamy, WAS the bluff, WAS the distraction.

I think it was unnecessary to take out his O2 but I guess she’s really just showing off, which again is IC and I guess has the purpose of showing MW she means business and is Not To Be Fucked With. Still, it is important that her message make it to MW since it’s the distraction Bellamy asked for, so it seems like something of a risk to make it hard for the messenger to arrive home safely.

I do like that she gets to use that classic retort “That sounds like a you problem.”

And so.... I meant to go to sleep like 3 hours ago, and my power is flickering. Time for bed. The end, goodnight.

[thanidiel]

🔥 RPers in general, and 🔥 server events

🔥 RPers in generalLol. 

I am simultaneously so adoring of the RP community and its creativity; so terrified of its seeming lack of social boundaries and unspoken etiquette. 

There’s a lot of good, a lot of creative content and passion that so, so, engages me and makes me fall a little in love, in all honesty, with everyone’s stories and characters to some degree, in some fashion. There’s also a lot of what I feel like, is unhealthy escapism in the community in a lot of behavioral tendencies that would not fly in a face-to-face social setting. This makes me really uncomfortable a lot of the time and contributes to my lack of engagement OOC with many people outside of answering questions concerning server and guild projects. There is so much unrealistic expectations concerning other people and how much they should surrender their time/energy to someone else’s enjoyment or comfort.

I already consider myself a person who leans very quickly towards misanthropy so I recognise I can be hard on people to perform ‘to standard’ whether its socially or in gameplay. But I also feel like I’m beyond the point of my life to really beat around the bush and deal with people who irritate me or make me uncomfortable. I’d like to feel like I engage myself with people who add to my experiences than detract from them.

🔥 server events

They’re rewarding. I enjoy organising things and people. I will admit that a majority of my interest in doing server events though is that I frankly think no one else adequate enough is going to step up to the plate (That is 99% of why I agreed to run Symphony of Silvermoon at all with Tendael and Arrodis).

I’m happy to have them around and participate in them. They add so much more to the community and the RP that occurs than what is subtracted in terms of energy and time commitment. I just wish that other groups outside of the ones I personally partake in held themselves to a higher standard of maturity.

@jessipalooza