#ooc: ok I wrote this in the middle of the night; if there are any typos you know why asdfghjkl

[my-timing-is-digital]

@elaleph continued from [ x ]

Intriguing... It appeared an external factor, be that a yet-to-be-determined cosmic force or a technological impairment, had interfered with the transportation sequence, and had consequently flung them into a temporal distortion of some kind — at least, that explained the industrial qualities their present environment exuded. However, the circumstances were dire and did not permit him to ponder the mystery pivoting around the query how did they arrive here? and what had precipitated it? Where lay the core of this conundrum? Questions he would have to postpone to a more opportune moment, for they were on the brink of involuntarily engaging in the shenanigans of a band of British thugs. And just when he thought the infelicitous matters could still be averted, Murphy’s Law singlehandedly dislocated all his hopes and dreams for a more propitious outcome.

The bag that was unceremoniously snatched away from under their noses constituted the epiphany of the human colloquialism “being screwed,” for it contained their ticket home — if the device inside could even be modified to facilitate the adaptations that were necessary to navigate safely through the fabric of space and time to their respective timeline. Regardless of the astronomical setback, Data’s eyes remained glued to the boy scurrying like a rat down the sewers in search of scraps of discarded sustenance, until he lurched around a corner and into an obscure alleyway. Technically, the android could still outrun the thief, neutralise him, and retrieve the bag, but not only would that divulge his unearthly qualities and increase the subsequent risk of annihilation in the town square — again —, his departure would likewise result in abandoning Agnes, which ultimately entailed severe trauma or her untimely demise. The android squared his shoulders, but maintained his equanimity; he saw no reason to further agitate the criminals prowling the puddles of mud and excrement in front of them.

The phaser, with which he had equipped himself prior to their departure, prodded in his right side, it weighed heavy as he contemplated whether to reach for it and nullify the miscreants, or play along with their anarchic games and disable them manually. His priority was to protect Agnes, and he would employ any form of combat appropriate to circumvent an escalation.

‘The bag is not your property, sir; you had no right to obtain it without prior consent,’ he spoke composedly, but his subroutines were ready to strike. ‘I suggest you call back your friend and return our possessions to us.’

This earnt him nothing but scornful laughter.

‘An’ ’o d’you think you are, eh? Givin’ us orders? Are you one of ’em idiots workin’ for Scotland Yard?’ a tall, muscular thug chimed in.

‘No, I am not,’ Data replied innocently.

‘Y’know whot? You can 'ave your bag back, if you beat Little Charlie over ’ere,’ the short man sniggered, indicating “Little Charlie” with an inclination of the head.

“Little Charlie,” however, was a living understatement; the man had the circumference of a full-grown Klingon, he was at least 0.5 times Data’s height, and the android surmised that Little Charlie could easily render his opponent unconscious by delivering a singular blow to the cranium.

‘I accept your terms,’ he said determinedly, catching the thugs completely off guard. ‘I will face your... companion in combat.’

‘You sure, mate? ’cause most of the people ’e fights end up in the gutter. Dead.’

‘I will not revoke my initial agreement to your proposition, sir.’

‘Alright, then. It’s your funeral.’

‘It would be injudicious to underestimate your opponent,’ he warned the man, who simply smirked darkly and gestured Little Charlie to advance...

[crystalessenceswrites]

Hi Again! I was wondering if you wrote for the clones? (I'm thirsting for Wolffe!!) If not, that's ok! And if so, I thought maybe something fluffy and a bit hot with Wolffe? I'm a huge sucker for the trope- Reader tries to hide that she hasn't been feeling well and turns out she's pregnant? With twins! She's scared because even though they're committed, it wasn't planned? And then fluff and some love making?? <3333

Hi lovely, welcome back! I am open to writing for the clones, I just haven’t done so yet! I too thirst for Commander Wolffe so you’re in luck! This trope is def very cute, the end turned out more fluffy than spicy, I hope that's alright.

Commander Wolffe x fem!reader Rating: E (18+) Warnings: explicit sexual content, unprotected p in v sex, unplanned pregnancy, swearing (first time writing for Wolffe, may be slightly ooc)

[PART TWO]

There was never enough time. You really should not have been surprised by the revelation, you were at war, but it still sat heavy on your chest. Always needed elsewhere as soon as you completed a mission. Never time to rest, even in transit. Someone always needed your attention for reports, strategic planning or council meetings as the GAR cruiser hurtled through hyperspace. It never left you enough time for him. Thankfully, the stubborn nature of your clone commander allowed him to make time, even if just a spare moment, for the two of you.

“Oh fuck,” you throw your head back against the door as he reaches that spot deep inside you. Pushing you ever closer to the edge. “Wolffe, please-” you’re whining as he grinds up into you, throbbing inside you. He’s always had the uncanny ability to read your body, he knows better than you when you’re close to bliss and he enjoys drawing it out. To think Commander Wolffe was a fucking tease.

“Please what, cyare?” His smug grin slides across your chest following the trail of marks he’s littered across your skin where no one will see. “What does ner jetii need?”

“Please, ‘m so close,” you tighten your legs around his waist, trying to draw him in closer, anything to reach your release, “please, Wolffe!”

He groans into your neck as you tug at the curls fallen loose at the nape of his neck, “well when you ask so nicely, cyare.”

His sudden thrust up pushes the air from your lungs. Your mouth falls open in a silent scream as he pounds into you, all teasing forgotten. He’s relentless as you tighten around him, the coil in your belly threatening to snap.

“That’s it,” he grunts, “come on my cock ner jetii.”

His words and his gloved thumb brushing over your bundle of nerves has you falling apart around him. White hot pleasure rolls over you, leaving you a limp, moaning mess in Wolffe’s arms.

“That’s it, mesh’la. Squeezing me so kriffing tight,” he groans, hips stuttering, his own release fast approaching. “Fuck.” Wolffe manages a few more thrusts before he buries himself in you, spilling himself inside you. Whispered praises fall from his lips as he comes down from his own high. His lips ghost over yours in a chaste kiss as he withdraws, tucking himself away before he lets you down.

Your legs cry out in relief when they meet solid ground, not longer clinging to Wolffe for support.

“Good, cyare?” his hand sweeps over your brow, so tender for a man with such a fierce reputation, even amongst his brothers.

“Mhmm,” leaning into his touch, he chuckles at your blissed out expression.

“Someone’s bound to come looking for you soon, General. Let’s get you cleaned up.” You don’t protest as he helps you redress, though you do moan about how unfair it was he just had to remove his codpiece and you had to strip completely out of your robes for these little storage closet rendezvous’.

“I don’t think jedi robes were designed to allow for easy access, cyare.”

You pout, “you’re probably right.” There was that whole bit about no attachments you were blatantly ignoring after all.

Before the commander can come back with another sharp retort your commlink blinks to life. “Yes?”

“General, General Plo is looking for you on the bridge.”

You sigh, “thank you, Sinker. I’ll be right there.”

Never enough time.

.

The next couple of months continue much the same. You and Wolffe sneaking away between missions when you can, trying to find solace in each other despite all the horrors you both see on the battlefield. In a war that seems to stretch on forever he is your rock. As he watches his brothers fall, one after the other, you are his comfort. It breaks your heart to be apart from him but there is little you can do to control it. When the council requests you to join Obi-wan and Anakin for a series of missions you cannot object. Instead, you drag your tired self out to the far reaches of the outer rim to help them as best you can.

“You look exhausted, my dear.” Such tact this one possessed.

You roll your eyes, “you don’t look much better, Kenobi.” Though you doubt he has been waking in the middle of the night to empty the contents of his stomach like you have for the past week.

“This war does seem to be pushing us all to our limits.”

“I’ll race you!” Ahsoka sprints by, apparently headed for some target or another with her master hot on her heels.

“Snips!”

Cody chuckles under his bucket, shaking his head as the two disappear into the distance.

Obi-Wan scrubs a hand over his face, “it’s pushed most of us to our limits.”

“What I wouldn’t give to have the energy of a padawan again,” you groan.

“I agree wholeheartedly,” Obi-wan nods, “we should all try to get some rest while we can. We need to break camp near dawn.”

You agree and bid your fellow jedi an early goodnight. With the headache you could feel coming on, sleep sounded like a good idea. As you go to stand the world spins around you, any sense of balance you had gone. You reach for the crate you had been sitting on to try and stay upright but you miss by a mile. Knees giving out you collapse to the floor, the world around you still spinning. You can barely hear Cody shouting over the ringing in your ears.

“Call for a medic! The General’s collapsed!”

.

By the time you regain consciousness you’re no longer planet side. Obi-wan had been quick to have you medevacked to the closest med-station for testing. The unholy white lights of the station burn your eyes when you finally come to. Your sudden groaning draws Kix back to your bedside.

“General. Good to see you’re back with us.”

“Kix?” You try to focus on the 501st medic instead of the bright lights, “what happened?”

“You collapsed back at the forward camp. We weren’t able to determine what was wrong with the limited medical supplies we had on hand, so General Kenobi called an air lift for you.”

Another groan bubbles up, Obi-wan had been forced to waster precious resources on you. “Were you able to find out what’s wrong?”

The clone’s face falls, “yes.”

You’ve never heard the medic sound so meek before. “Kix?”

“I’m not sure what’s the best way to explain this, General… but you’re pregnant.”

Oh.

Oh.

“H-how far along?”

“Looks like just over two months,” Kix shifts from foot to foot, pointedly not looking you in the eye. You can’t blame him for being uncomfortable, this isn’t quite the medicine he’d been expecting to practice. He was a combat medic not an obgyn. “We were able to get an ultrasound, would you like to see?”

Nodding, you sit up, your head now spinning for completely different reasons. Kix brings you a datapad displaying the grainy black and white image.

“Kix… am I seeing this right?”

“Yes, general.”

“There’s two…”

“Yes general. You’re having twins.”

Oh fuck.

.

Kix is a godsend, having worked with Anakin and Rex long enough to know reporting everything may not always be a good idea. The official report on your sudden collapse reads that you suffered from a foreign infection your body had not been prepared to fight, coupled with the battle fatigue, your body had shut down in order to force you to rest. Obi-wan and the council believe it, ordering you back to Coruscant to recover and rest. You knew you would have to tell them; it would not be long until you were showing, but you would much rather deal with the council in person than from your medbay bed.

Before your escort arrives, Kix slips you a disk with a copy of the ultrasound pictures, “in case there’s someone you want to show them to.”

“Thank you, Kix,” he blushes when you give him a quick peck on the cheek, “you’ve done more for me than you’ll ever know.”

You do your best to rest on your trip back to Coruscant but its incredibly difficult when your mind is going a parsec a minute. Besides the council there’s one other person you have to break the news to. While you two had talked about what life would be like for the two of you after the war, this was not something you had discussed. You were not sure if Wolffe wanted kids ever, let alone now. Having twins while the whole galaxy was at war was not ideal. Not when the two of you were expected to put your lives on the line for the Republic.

Panic washes over you when you arrive at the capital to find the wolfpack waiting for you on the tarmac. They’d just arrived back for some long overdue shore leave and Plo had informed them of your sudden illness. Normally you would be touched by how much they cared for you, but now all you can think about is how you are not ready to face Wolffe. Not yet.

You can feel his gaze heavy on your back as you field Sinker and Boost’s barrage of questions.

“I’ll be alright, I just need to take my medicine and get some rest. It shouldn’t be long before I’m right as rain again.” You hate lying to them, but you did not want them worrying unnecessarily either.

It seems to appease them; the pack wishes you well and invites you out to 79’s with them as soon as you’re recovered. Wolffe hangs back, watching his brothers go.

“I’ll walk you back, general.”

“No.” It comes out much harsher than you’d like. The surprise that washes over his face feels like a stab to your gut. “There’s no need, Commander. I’ll be alright.”

His voice drops, brow furrowed together, “cyare?”

“Not now, Wolffe,” you frown, “I just need to go lay down. We’ll talk later.”

But you don’t. You cannot find it in yourself to answer any of his calls or messages over the next few days. Instead, you wrap yourself up in as many blankets as possible and hole up in your quarters while you try to figure out what to do. You watch Coruscant go by from your window. It’s only when Sinker and Boost call that you’re freed from running around in circle inside your head.

“Boost? Sinker? What’s going on?”

“Oh thank goodness you’re alive, General!”

“Boost what are you going on about?”

“The Commanders been going crazy! He hasn’t heard from you in over a week and we don’t think he knows how to handle it!”

Although you and Wolffe did your best to keep your relationship hidden, in such tight quarters it was hard to keep it from Wolffe’s brothers. You’d never outright admitted it to them, but you figured they understood what was going on. You were glad for it now.

“I’ve seen him pace before, but never like this,” Sinker adds.

Oh Maker. “Where is he?”

“The barracks, General.”

“I… I’ll speak with him, alright? Hopefully that will calm him down.”

“Thank you, General! We were running out of ways to distract him!” That was the kind way of saying ways to annoy him to keep Wolffe’s mind off you.

“Thank you, Boost, Sinker.”

“Good luck, General!”

You were going to need it. This was not a conversation to have over the com so you make your way down to the barracks, doing your best to avoid attention when you can. It was not like you weren’t allowed there, but the last thing you needed was more questions.

Boost and Sinker were not lying about the pacing. Punching in the access code to his quarters reveals a tightly wound Wolffe, pacing back and forth across the length if the tight space. His armor has been haphazardly discarded around the room. You’re surprised he hasn’t worn a path into the floor yet.

“General?” Surprise and then relief fall over his face when he catches you standing in the doorway.

“Wolffe, I-”

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be resting.”

You’re thrown off by the sudden cold tone in his voice. “I-I came to explain, Wolffe… to apologize.”

“Apologize?”

“I’ve been avoiding you Wolffe,” your voice cracks despite your best efforts to remain calm, “and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have, I just needed to find a way to tell you and I couldn’t.”

His frown deepens, “tell me what?”

“That I’m pregnant.”

“What?” He looks at you live you’ve grown another head.

“I’m pregnant, Wolffe.”

It takes him a moment to wrap his mind around your words, but you can see the instant he does, his mouth dropping into an ‘o’ as his jaw falls slack.

“You’re pregnant? With my… with my baby?”

“Babies,” you correct.

His brain seems to sputter out again, “babies?”

You nod, “twins.”

Before you can blink, he’s got you wrapped up in his arms, spinning you around the room. “Twins. You’re having twins.”

It takes everything you have not to start bawling. Kriffing hormones. You’ve never seen Wolffe this happy. This was beyond any reaction you could have imagined. The awe on his face when he sets you down makes your heart melt.

“This is why you were sent back? Your sudden illness?”

“Well yes… but Kix’s report was that I had an infection. I wanted to talk to your first before anyone else. I just didn’t know how.”

His warm hand oh-so-gently cups the side of your face. You lean into the touch. After even just a few weeks apart you’re starving for him.

“Why were you worried, cyare?”

“We’d never talked about kids. And we’re in the middle of a war. Not to mention we’re not even supposed to be together on the first place… I didn’t know how you’d react…”

His face softens, his amber eye drifting down to your nonexistent bump. “I’ll admit, I’m surprised. It may not be how either of us hoped, but it is a pleasant surprise.”

“Really?”

“Really, cyare.” You cannot help but smile as he pulls you in for a kiss. His lips slanting against your own as he holds you close. “I know there may be somethings we need to work out, but we’ll take it one step at a time,” he murmurs against your lips, hands tracing patterns across your back. “We’ll figure it out together.”

[stxleslyds]

MY TOUGHTS ON PART THREE OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY :)

A DC RENDITION OF THE SONG “MOTHER KNOWS BEST” FROM TANGLED.

Here I will leave the links to my reviews of Part 1 and Part 2

Well, here we are, three issues in this story of only six parts and i still cant tell if i like it or not. What i know for sure tho is that Zdarsky never read any Red Hood books, i had my suspicions but now i am at least 95% sure.

This Jason has been nerfed. We had a perfectly balanced Jason back in 2005 he was smart, skilled, confident and strategic. Then from 2011 to 2020 (let’s put the fact that Lobdell is trash aside for a moment) Jason was skilled, he had the whole “chosen one” thing going on with the all-castle, and in some moments you could even see him being quick witted and confident. But now in this first half of this story he is extremely insecure, his skill set and expertise is barely there and is presented as just reckless. 

The other day i was talking about how DC treats Jason, how they just can’t decide on who he is, what motivates him or what he wants. His personality is a whole ass mess, it was fine in 2005 and 2010 when Winick wrote him but then Lobdell from years 2011 to 2020 just couldn't decide what he wanted to do with Jason or his relationship with Batman and his rules. After Lobdell finally left Jason was passed around people who either only read Lobdell's work, or didn't read anything from him or didn't take into account Jason's life because their book was set in a future that may never happen. 

What i am trying to say is that Jason doesn't have a personality, and writers don't really add things to the Jason that we “know”, what they do is start his story from zero over and over again. There is no consistency to Jason's character and while you could argue that maybe this new start could be the definite version of Jason Todd/Red Hood i will point out that this nerfed version of him is a major disservice to the character that he was when he was brought back to DC.

It’s simply not nice. 

And in this particular issue the “Jason isn't that good at this whole vigilante gig” is even more pushed because of the whole “batman knows best” bullshit. I am not getting this (anthologies) book with a Red Hood story just for Batman to come in and be like “I am actually good at this job, you know nothing AND i have the moral high-ground”, this is NOT it.

If you are reading a Red Hood story chances are that you will be interested in Red Hood not Batman. 

Oh one more thing, Jason was an excellent Robin. He was kind, smart and skilled. I liked the flashbacks in UtRH because it showed Jason being all that but he also understood a couple of things about the kind of criminals that Gotham had, your common thug is easily scared of the concept of Batman but the dress-ups knew that no matter what they did the Bat would never kill them, that’s what Jason thought about criminals there.

This Robin Jason is treated rather poorly by Zdarsky at times, he feels insecure and inferior to Dick but he is also dismissive of him and the Robin mantle in the first issue, now in this one he is shown as way too reckless (which is kinda bad because it feeds into DCs favorite trope of “Jason’s death was Jason’s fault”) and his stance on “low level” criminals is weird, like it was made clear that drug related criminals are Jason’s biggest issue, thieves were not. 

Those are my general thoughts on this issue and the current state of Jason’s characterization. I have some panels from this issue that i want to talk about in more depth tho, so here we go. 

The issue stars were we left off once more, Tyler defends Jason and when Batman asks who he is Tyler says that he is the Blue Hood, that was really sweet of him, that child is adorable and he needs to be protected. 

Once the Bat distracts Tyler Jason tells the Bat that the man he killed was Tyler’s dad. 

There are a couple of things i want to point out from these panels, Jason feels incredibly guilty, not about killing Andy but about leaving Tyler in a situation that is similar to the one he was left in when his own mother died. He still believes that Andy was not a good man and deserved to be dead, after all he was drugging his own son and was the reason Tyler’s mom overdosed and is now in the hospital. It just hits incredibly close to home for Jason and i understand completely. 

The other thing i want to point out is that Jason says “I know your rules. No killing in Gotham” so, this is (to me) confirmation that Jason hasn’t killed in a long time and that he has been sticking to the Bat's rules (at least in Gotham). Andy (a drug-dealer) is the only person that Jason has killed since the events of UtRH (that are apparently canon in this story because it was mentioned in the first issue). 

Following this conversation the Bat says that he will take care of Tyler’s mother (yikes, i really thought in my last post that Jason was the one who would have tried to get her the help she needed, to me it seems more appropriate if Jason does it given that this is his story but what do I know) 

This is where this Red Hood story transforms into the Batman show.

Not only will Bruce take care of Tyler's mom but he will clean up the mess and shut down the making of the drug all by himself. Jason tells him that he will do it but the Bat tells Jason that if he wants to do it they will have to do it together because there is no way he is letting Jason out of his sight, he made a mess!

Yes, nothing like making the lead character look incompetent at his job. Love that for Jason.

Before the team up starts Batman and Red Hood go to Leslie's place to leave Tyler with her. This is a good moment only because there is a dog involved, well…Tyler, Jason and a dog are involved, best panel in the whole issue? I think yes.

Maybe I have a couple more panels that are my favs in this issue, here they are, a lil bit of positivity in this extra bitter post.

Now I will be honest, I hate Batman (Bruce’s Batman, love Dick Bats he was the MVP) so him saying that he is helping a Robin makes me want to shoot him. You are not helping; you are overtaking, as you do. Never a team player, the Batgod must always be the center of the show.

Back in the new cave Bruce talks to Jason about the drug and who he thinks might be behind it's production. He also makes sure to let Jason know that he is very smart and might be the only person outside of Crane's circle that knows how analyze a very unstable compound…weird flex but okay. He also teases Jason about his detective skills. Yay.

Flashback time! Get ready!

Robin Jason and Batman are at a crime scene and Jason doesn’t seem to be in the mood to play CSI: Gotham with Bruce.

At one moment Jason says “and then we will stomp the guy who did this” (“this” being murder), which makes Jim Gordon (who came to see if batman was done playing Sherlock Holmes) uncomfortable, so Batman tells Jason to wait for him. As Jason is going he sees someone acting suspicious.

Back to present day Batman and Red Hood are visiting the woman that created the compound that makes Fear Gas, the interrogation starts well but because this is the Batman show and Jason is bad at reading people and asking questions we have a scene that shows Jason being a bit too much.

I honestly thought that the first question was fair, but then after they leave the office they were in Batman basically goes on a rant about the things that Jason missed.

Ok, I get it Batman = good vigilante. Red Hood = Incompetent.

Zdarsky is honestly trying to make us believe that Jason hasn’t picked up any of those things, in his years as Robin with Batman AND Nightwing? They both taught him, there is no way Jason doesn’t know the basics of how to read people. Also do you guys remember Jason in UtRH and Lost Days? That guy read people perfectly, how is UtRH canon in this story, did Jason lose his skills in the explosion when he blew up the Joker?

As if that wasn’t enough Batman calls Red Hood reckless after they don’t agree on what to do next.

To this I say the following: Never again make me believe that Jason will willingly work with Batman. They don’t work together and neither are willing to meet each other halfway, even less let the other lead. This makes the idea of Jason following the Bat’s rules and him being part of the “Batfamily” the joke that it actually is.

They don’t work well together anymore; bring duality back to Gotham 2021.

Back in the past where the previous flashback is resumed we have Jim telling Batman that the new Robin seems a bit too rough around the edges. Did Jim ever meet Dick as Robin? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Dick was a sweetheart but he also beat criminals alongside batman every night. It just doesn’t feel like what Jason said was that much of a violent statement or anything, maybe I just don’t get it.

But don’t worry if you don’t get it, because we are shown Robin Jason going after that suspicious man, he is beating him asking if he knows anything about the murder or what exactly he was doing so close to the crime scene when Batman arrives. Through Batman we are told that that man was no longer a criminal, to which Jason says this, “…The guy is a jewel thief! He will always be a thief” and Batman responds “I refuse to believe that. Didn’t I meet you in the middle of stealing the Batmobile’s tires?”

I can’t believe Bruce went full “It’s over Jason. I have the moral high ground” on Robin Jason.

I mean Jason is OOC, we know this, but he has to be that way in order to make Batman look better when compared to a child. DC hates Jason Todd #Confirmed.

It kinda reminds me of that thing DC does with Dick and Barbara, Dick is skilled and smart as long as Barbara isn’t in the room, if she is then Dick will forget to check if there is someone inside his apartment and then be thrown across the room by her and then be told that he sucks at putting security in his living space.

Moving on...back to the present one last time Jason is interrogating a man while he dangles him from the edge of a building (did Dick teach him that? I bet he did.) After getting some information he calls Oracle so he can make sure that the place he is going to is safe. Oracle tells him the she will help him but she did not like the fact that the last time she helped him someone ended up dead.

Now, fair warning, Barbara and Jason big NO for me and after Geoff Johns and his antics in Three Jokers I have zero love for their “team-ups”.

Jason says this, 

Believing in him? Excuse me? Chonky, baby, she only helped you find a building.

All I can do at this point is pray to whichever god or whoever hears that this does not lead to Jason pinning for Barbara. We don’t need it (Barbara doesnt need it), I might be overreacting, I hope I am, but nobody wants that kind of drama right now, thanks.

When he arrives to the place he was looking for I think everyone can tell that it’s a trap, everyone but Jason apparently. 

How on earth does Jason not realize it’s a trap up until it’s too late? Are you joking? Is this a Red Hood story? Are we really doing this? Just how incompetent is Jason in Zdarsky’s eyes?

Freeze…is it Freeze? I don’t care but he is there, he freezes Jason and that’s the end of the issue.

Listen, I wish I could say that this is the worst Jason has been treated and that this book is horrible, I wish but I can’t. I can’t do it because this isn’t the worst characterization or book of Jason, this is still a pretty good story, could it be better? Yes.

I mean this story is written by someone who obviously doesn’t know Jason and that sucks but it still isnt the worst characterization and it messes me up. Three Jokers was worse than this, certain plot decisions in Future State: Red Hood were worse than this (in my opinion) and Lobdell’s New52 RHatO was pure trash (that is the worst book, just horrible please dont read it). 

I am saying this only to make it clear that even tho this issue was painful (mostly if you don’t like Batman) I still have hope that it can turn out to be good. I cant help it, i want and need this story to be good and there is still time for it to get better. 

Alright thats all i have to say, let me know what you thought about this issue and my review, bye!

[solange-lol]

hiii in celebration of AUctober, what are some of your fav solangelo AUs?

Anonymous said to solange-lol:

Hi! Kinda a random question: do you have any favorite riordanverse fanfics that you’d suggest reading? I’m looking for ones to read, but I’ve been having trouble finding new ones! Thanks!

rec list #1 | rec list #2

all recs can be found under the tag ‘lizs solangelo fic recs’ on my blog!

technically its past auctober now, but better late then never to drop my third solangelo rec list!! especially considering the state of the world rn ... lets just say its a celebration of me actually participating in sw for the first time in a while

rec under cut as always!! its not all aus but its the count that thots

Find Another Place to Stay by @unwieldyink

personally i think breakup fics are incredibly underrated, and i also think annie is incredibly underrated, so enjoy ur little cry if you read this one (tw // violence in this one)

Hershey’s kiss by @unwieldyink

we love a godswap!! it’s actually been a while since ive read this one and i reread this while making this rec list and can i just say that zeus!nico and hermes!will are both such valid concepts and this just has a rly good dynamic to it

Actors by @buoyantsaturn

i could talk about this fic for hours but lets just say ao3 has told me ive visted this fic 40 times. im not kidding. fake dating is just a godtier trope

start of something new by jinniefic

if you know me, you know that i fricken LOVE high school musical, and this is literally just the start of the first movie but solangelo and honestly a little more iconic please read even if ur not a hsm fan

paper/plastic by @rosyredlipstick

the fact that this is from 2018 and took this long to get into my rec list is tragic because i think about this fic a lot... a lot. mortal au. very chill, strangers to lovers, very good vibes, will be rereading soon (everything rosy writes is amazing we already knew this)

10:37pm by @buoyantsaturn

surprise another cj fic! fun fact she debated with us for a good half hour about what to title this fic so go read it so you can tell her you like the name (and the fic itself... its a very good fic) (tw // alchohol and drug use for this one)

Sunflower by ChiseHatori

3 days in the infirmary is probably the easiest trope u can find in the solangelo tag but i have to say this one really made me soft just bc it feels a lot more in character than some of the others ive read, and it basically picks up right where they ended in the books

Will You, or Will You Not? by @thebluesideofmyworld

marriage fics... also very soft. just boys bein boys. dual engagements. mortal au. all that good stuff vv soft i loved it

let your heart win by @justanothervampiregirl

this one is short but its also probably one of the most in character fics ive ever read and i really like this style of writing mixed with canon compliance so :)

The Magic of Naomi Solace by Sweetymomo

naomi solace, underratted legend. i aspire to have her relationship with will. lots of familial background if you like that!! and its set at a bnb!!

forget all the shooting stars and silver moons by itotallyreadthatbook

when i saw this in the tag i was SO excited bc we love high school aus here and it was!! very good indeed!! this trope is one ive never seen before and i recommend 10/10 good banter

They won’t always live by Phantomxlegend

will overworking himself and coping with loss always makes me :(( so if ur okay with some will angst then buckle up

“I am fully capable of kicking your ass” by @unwieldyink

i remember i saw the email notification for this one and immediately was like yup absolutely im in and it 100% lives up to its title we love capture the flag solangelo

the night we met by peachyytomlinson

a lil ooc but also very angsty and did make me emotional when i read this late at night. i think i wrote something similar a while back but i just aaaaa will angst man

“look how hard i can cry FWSHHH”  by @buoyantsaturn

call me biased bc i like to claim that i originated the idea of demeter!will and cj dedicated this fic to me but like BRO its so soft and i love it here nico leave the plants along challenge failed

femboy hooters, or the time percy jackson failed to keep a secret by luciethebean

its all fun and games until the fic turns out to genuinely be really good. like, yes the title is exactly what you think it is but it doesnt matter bc its so fricken well written im^@*#&(*)($_$#&^@$(@*)* yeah

Of Ties and Significant Annoyances by seokjinvilla (@thechampagnecocainegasoline)

we dont support jkr in this household but what we do support is this bc this plot is genius and i love it

everything’s going swimmingly by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

fun fact i posed the idea of a sports/team prompt to the sw mod crew literally just so someone would pull through and write a swim au and ethan DID without even knowing. i love them and their writing style is so !!!! please read it

when you smile (the whole world stops) by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

another ethan fic!! this is the perfect fic for a rough day where u just want some cuddles bc thats literally the plot of the fic. i love this one with my entire heart its very fluffy 10/10 do reccomend

pumpkin spice (i hate it, it's not nice) (ok maybe it's a little nice) by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

ethan fic part 3!! bc i binge read these all in one night!! literally again their writing style is so amazing and the witty banter!!!! also we love a retail bookstore au 

Burnt Plastic (and Other Bad Ideas) by More_of_This

so this one isnt exactly romantically solangelo but it is hilarious in my opinion and i absolutely adore well written college aus and while i know nothing about college this fic is so funny to me (if you read the tags there is, in fact, a raccoon involved) (tw // drinking for this one)

all because you kissed me goodnight by @buoyantsaturn

i have been WAITING for a mortal counselors au and im sure theres some out there already but y’all already know im a cj stan! lots of slowburn, friends to lovers, coworkers, all the good stuff (and i named this one and offered cj a lot of materials from my own camp so this one especially hits!! i reccomend for those good ol summer vibes!!) (tw // drinking for this one)

Waiting With You by @buoyantsaturn

oh boy buckle up if u want an angst ride because this fic tore me apart. i keep threatning cj with “dont pull another waiting with you”. that being said, very much feels like a movie while youre reading it, very fluffy in the middle, we love mutual pining. 

Little Italian Boy by @buoyantsaturn

stream little italian boy by grace gilmore. youll get it. thats it.

The Clues by @thebluesideofmyworld

secret dating when done well is legit one of my favorite tropes of all time and this!!! this!!!!!!!!! its outsiders perspective also which is another one of my favorite tropes, and just little views on nicos life and i love it

So Come On, Talk it Out (your voice brought me back from the dead) by @buoyantsaturn

will solace, sponsered by kitkats, cj edition

no but if you read tower of nero you’ll really like this missing pieces pre-ton fic this is a really soft little fic with a bunch of easter eggs from the book in it, so i highly recommend! if you havent read ton yet and are still avoiding spoilers, come back to this one!

reaching for the sun (you, you, you) by moonswords (@tortadelimao)

i just read this one about 2 hours ago for the first time and i am Still thinking about it. its like the getting together that i literally feel like is canon and the vibes are Immaculate (also william “what about me looks straight” solace)

“Are we on a date right now?” by @unwieldyink

overworked will, nico helping out in the infirmary, first dates & hikes, canon compliant, we love to see it (also its an annie fic so ur required by law to read it)

Outrunning karma by Phantomxlgend 

more will angst! featuring angry overworked will!

Everlasting Ring by minyoongurt (@blueblackslowtown)

i was Very excited when i read the summary of this one, and i think minyoongurt did a really good job!! healer will, injured nico, the whole dynamic. also i love the idea of nico only knowing “thank you” “go away” and “fuck you” in sign language. im pretty sure thats canon

The Little Thing by Rainbow_Mess

i belive this is also a pre-toa fic thats just exploring all the stuff we found out about will in ton and its very short and sweet :)

and of course, a few of my recent works for your consideration

who is he (and what is he to you?)

just doing my silly little tasks

i don’t need three bars to tell me we’re meant to connect

truly, madly, deeply

[baranedizille]

could you recomend favorite dn fanfiction? i love you those who stand fanart and started to read it thnks to you, but it's so long i need warm ups lol

Ohohoh. First of all, thank you, I'm glad you started reading the monster because of my art. Khem-khem, so....

Fanfiction rec list

(it’s all lawlight, sry)

⚫ means multichaptered

⚫  Iridescence by raisuki on ao3. + a oneshot Radiance

Rating: Mature

This is my favourite-favourite one, really. I can’t express how much I love it, just read it!!! Beware: angsty and hopeless.

⚪ You are a wasp nest  by raisuki on ao3

Rating: Mature

Blind!Light, college au, kinda fluff.

⚪ Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies by  Hedonistic Opportunist on fanfiction net

Rating: Mature

It’s angst and hurts but really worth to read.

⚪ Sugar and pumpkin spice by deleted acc on ao3

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Very fluff very nice very ahhh, coffee shop au with Light as barrista and L as his annoying client.

⚪ Shame is pride's cloak  by youremyqueen on ao3

Rating: Explicit

Submissive L and Light who took Watari’s (who’s dead oops) role to look after L. And well, he’s pretty good at it, you kno.

⚪ By night we go naked, by day we go blind by youremyqueen on ao3

Rating: Explicit

Just a really good smut (as any smut by the author).  Written for a kink meme, prompt was: sensory deprivation.

⚪ See me by  Shadow_of_Quill  on ao3

Rating: Explicit

Innocent!Light and open ending (quite happy!).

⚫ Seeking his hand (unfinished) by  magic__mind  on ao3

Rating: Explicit (actually there’s really little of explicit content, because yeah, it’s unfinished)

“A historical regency-esque romance AU in which L seeks Light's hand in marriage”. It’s pretty ooc as you may suppose, but ah, anyway, this one is really good!

⚪ Sola Fide by Serria on ao3

Rating: Mature

The first fic I read in dn fandom and let me say, it raised the bar of quality very high.  Misora gives L the lead he needs so he captures Light and tortues him to find the truth. Open end.

⚫ The Lies of Light Yagami by  kildeer on ao3

Rating: Explicit

Additional pairings: Light/Mikami, Light/Takada

Light wants to make L love him so he can destroy him by that, I’m not going to say more, just read it. Really good and angst.

⚫ The Life and Time of Genius Detective L Lawliet & Repentant Murderer Light Yagami by Devilinthebox on ao3 + a collection of drabbles Photographs

Rating: Mature

A tag: It's a fic about a fictional biography about two fictional douchebags, - so that’s it. Light is without his memories of being Kira and given the second chance by L. Also they’re in love and travelling. Really worth to read + sad ending hemh

⚫ Our Bodies, Possessed by Light by Devilinthebox on ao3

Rating: Mature

Additional pairings: B/Misora, one-sided Mello/L

“L. Lawliet is a gifted photographer who believes he has understood the light and its secrets. Light Yagami is a young, unstable and slightly crooked model. Together, they kill time”. Really good and, wow, happy ending!!

⚪ A Kiss For Christmas by Rachello344 on ao3

Rating: General Audiences

Very nice one, college!au. L, Light’s roommate is invited to spend Xmass hollidays at Yagamis.

⚪ Buried Alive by avoidfilledwithcelluloid on ao3

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

“ post-apocalypse AU where L is subtly implied to be a doomsday prepper, Light does small gardening+cooking, and they watch a VHS of Murder She Wrote”. It was a real gift to me to find it, post-apoc au and Lawlight isolated together ohmygod.

⚪ Tell me I’m good  by avoidfilledwithcelluloid on ao3

Rating: Explicit

“L recieves a drunk call from light who is hiding in the bathroom at a party”. Reeeeeally atmospheric, just read it, I’m not going to explain, it’s not just another smut.

⚫ Hand in unlovable hand by avoidfilledwithcelluloid on ao3

Rating: Explicit

Trans!Light, a collection of drabbles nsfw and not. I love James’ writing what else to say.

⚪ In your shoes by avoidfilledwithcelluloid on ao3  

Rating: Explicit

Warning!professor/student. “After L sees his student/paramour Light step in mud, he rushes to give him the shoes off his own feet“. Really nice one.

⚪ Special credits by Serahne on ao3

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Professor and student but without any warning. More humorous than shippy, Light is an overconfident student and L is an asshole professor.

⚪ Love is War by Zara_Zara on ao3

Rating: General Audiences

School au and oh so sweet. “This is secretly a 4 + 1 fic in which Light and L almost confess plus the one time they did”.

⚪ Is that my shirt? by Zara_Zara on ao3

Rating: General Audiences

As you can gues hehe, they steal each other’s clothes, oh dorks.

⚪ A Tithe to Hell by Aja on ao3 (one chapter but long so it’s actually ⚫)

Rating: Explicit

Kind of classic and for a reason. The middle of it is kinda crazy but ok hahah, I just warned you. “Light has thirteen days to find out how it will feel--not just to kill, but to destroy”.

⚫ Nights  by youremyqueen on ao3

Rating: Explicit

Additional pairings: L/Aiber, L/B, Light/Misa

Another classic. I’m going to be honest, I read it really briefly hhahah. I can say though, it’s reaaaally well written and lawlight is very good in it. Totally would recommend it to L stans.

⚪ (x) ao3 profile is inkfeathers

Rating: General Audiences

I’m a sucker for hogwarts au and this one is soooo good, Light and L are students.

⚪ Groundstroke by VerdePradera on ao3

Rating: Mature

L and Light are professional tennis players, and Light isn’t going to come out of closet and L is upset and I love the fic really much.

Addition how could I forget it wtf

⚫ Coexistence is boredom (unfinished) by Sakurazukamori6 on fanfiction net

Rating: Mature

Golden classic. “This story takes place after Raito gets his memories back, but for the mere sake of fun, L leaves the handcuffs on for a big longer". Just fucking good, ok?

[hetacon]

I Have Worth Now

Word Count: 1,504

Pairings: Logicality, implied Platonic/Paternal Analogical, implied Platonic/Paternal Moxiety

Warning: Stress, mental breakdown, crying, Logan curses once, kissing (Lemme know if I need to note anything else)

Note: Before we get started, Logan is a little out of character but I promise it is for a legitimate reason. I will explain my creative interpretation of this decision at the end, promise. I still tried to keep to his character the best I could. Anyways, enjoy!

______________________________

“What does your schedule look like this year, Patton?” Logan asked, eyeing over his own school schedule before looking up.

Patton, his best friend since middle school, smiled and showed Logan the piece of paper with all of his classes on it. Logan scanned over it and nodded.

“I’m curious as to why you chose creative writing,” Logan mentioned.

“Oh! Well, I just like getting my feelings out on to paper you know? It helps make sure I’m not cooped up with everything tucked away,” Patton explained before looking over Logan’s schedule that was put in front of him. He made a face. “Are you going to be ok with all of those AP classes?”

“Of course. I’ve handled them before and so I think that I can handle these now,” Logan chuckled a little. Patton thought for a moment before beaming and hugging Logan.

“Ok, I trust you! Let me know if you need help with anything! I might not know about calculus but I can give you a break anytime you need it.”

“Yeah, I know,” Logan nodded. “I’ll be fine though.”

That ended up being massively untrue. It was senior year, and while many of the advanced classes that Logan had taken in previous years were manageable, this year took a drastic turn. Patton didn’t even notice until Logan wasn’t spending time with him anymore. It had been weeks since they had a decent conversation more than greetings and formalities. And Patton was sick of it. So after school a month in or so, he went to Logan’s house to talk to him.

As usual, Patton was let in without question and was told that Logan was in his room. Patton found Logan doubled down on studying, reading his AP economics textbook. He took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes before looking at the page again.

“Logan?”

The aforementioned’s eyes immediately flicked over to Patton and he could almost sense relief from the look.

“Is something wrong, Patton?” he asked, giving a genuine look of concern. Patton only shook his head.

“That depends on how you’re doing right now really..”

“I’m alright, thank you. Just preparing for a test tomorrow.”

“We haven’t spoken for weeks, I’m worried about you and whether or not you’re handling this alright,” Patton said, going over to the desk in the corner of Logan’s room. He sat down on the floor in front of Logan, placing his hand on the latter’s knee. “Logan, why do you do this?”

This was only met with a look of confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you take all of these classes? You don’t need them, you’ve already met all of your requirements for college. Yet, you’re still taking AP classes in things that won’t affect anything if you took regular courses.”

Logan looked down at him, thinking for a moment. “I don’t have time for this Patton, I need to study,” he replied curtly before turning to his book again.

Patton frowned and grabbed it, snapping it closed. “You are not avoiding this. We are going to talk about this, it’s important, Lo,” he huffed.

“Why does it matter?”

“Because I miss you and you barely talk to me now!”

“I need to focus on schoolwork for impressing colleges. It’s our senior year, Patton. Grades are important.”

“To who?”

“To me.”

“Why?”

“I..”

Silence.

Patton looked to Logan, expression softening. He took a hold of Logan’s hands. “Lo, why?”

Nothing and then-

“What do I have if not my intelligence?”

“... What?” Patton asked, looking up to him with a sad realization.

“There’s nothing to me if I’m not intelligent or making use of it.”

“Do you really think that that’s all there is to you?” Patton asked, trying not to tear up. Logan only nodded and Patton held his hands tighter. “Oh Logan...”

Logan couldn’t bring himself to meet Patton’s eyes.

“You’re a wonderful, funny person. Your intelligence is not all that makes you Logan, it shouldn’t need to be the key trait either!”

“I don’t want to take them..”

Patton looked to him for an explanation, letting Logan just talk.

“I don’t want any of these classes. I never have. School is so stressful but I only am worth..” Logan started.

He paused, took a deep breath, and then rephrased. “I only feel like I’m worth something if I take all them. Everyone expects it of me. My parents expect me to be a fucking NASA scientist or a doctor or anything prestigious! I.. I don’t want to...” he admitted. “Patton please don’t make me, god don’t make me,” he whispered, tears starting to run down his cheeks. He let out a loud sob and Patton was quick to hug him close.

With a little coaxing, Patton got them to Logan’s bed, lying down as Logan cried into his shirt. Patton stroked his hair and let him cry it out. Logan was inconsolable for an hour. Patton just made sure he didn’t move from his hold on Logan, letting him know that he was there the entire time. Logan went silent afterwards as he just buried his face into Patton’s chest.

“You’re taking 7 classes and an extra course after school, right?”

Logan nodded.

“Are your last two classes APs?”

Another nod.

“Can you do me a really big favor and consider dropping them if you don’t need them? And then coming with me to creative writing during 6th?”

“I understand dropping classes but why the second request?”

“I have something I want to see. I think it could be good for you.”

“Alright, I can see. I’ve wanted to drop them since school started, I’ve felt obligated to keep them. Promised myself I wouldn’t give up on a class and chicken out.”

“How come, Lo?”

“Because that shows I’m not... I’m not able to push through and pass the classes..”

“I actually think it would be really smart of you to drop them rather than keep them. Logan, I know you liked learning when you were little but clearly something has made you hate it. If you keep pushing yourself, you’ll hate every single day for the rest of your life because you put people’s image of how intelligent you are over your own mental health and your feelings. I promise that you’ll feel better after the guilt passes ok? And if you don’t, I’ll do anything to make it up to you,” Patton smiled.

Logan looked to him and got up, going to the door.

“Where are you going?” Patton asked him.

Logan turned to him from the open door. “To tell my parents what classes I’m dropping.”

Patton couldn’t help but beam.

Logan actually dropped them with no resistance and decided to drop the extra class too. After that, Patton had the creative writing teacher make an assessment of Logan’s writing and Logan found it extremely therapeutic. It was too late to join the class but the teacher was more than generous to let Logan sit next to Patton in the back and let him write whatever he felt like.

Surprisingly, Logan took a gap year with Patton and became an author to the surprise of everyone, resulting in a lot of guilt for Logan. He realized, however, that Patton was the only person, he learned, that he actually wanted to be worthy of.

After finishing up a draft for the night, Logan went over to Patton resting on the couch and wrapped his arms tightly around his husband’s waist, pulling him into his lap.

Patton couldn’t help but laugh a little as he hugged back just as tight, feeling Logan relax at that. “Hi, Loggybear~” he hummed happily.

Logan raised his head and kissed Patton gently. Patton giggled more.

“I love you, you know,” Logan told him, smiling back.

“I love you too!”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Intervening before I went insane.”

Patton huffed. “You wouldn’t have gone insane and you know it.”

Logan gently kissed his lips again and Patton returned it happily, wrapping his arms around Logan’s neck.

“I would have and you seem to understand me better than I know myself. I would’ve hated my life if you hadn’t told me to stop striving for everyone else’s expectations of me. But because of you, I have a fulfilling job, a wonderful husband, and the best son I could ask for,” he smiled, kissing Patton again before breaking away. “You did all that, honey, not me.”

“Awwww, Loggybear!” Patton beamed, hugging Logan tighter, peppering his face with kisses. Logan returned the ones that landed on his lips and stroked Patton’s cheek, closing his eyes.

“I feel like I have worth now, Patton.”

______________________________

Hey guys! So as always, I’d love to hear what you guys thought of this! Feel free to leave me comments, I always appreciate it! Anyways, as I promised, I have an explanation for Logan’s OOC behaviors in this drabble. I’ve just started my senior year of high school and it’s been alright. However, out of the 5 classes I am taking, 4 of them are AP courses. I originally had 6 classes. The one I dropped was also another AP. So out of 6 classes, 5 were APs. I dropped the 6th class after the first day because I am already so overwhelmed by this year in general.

Recently I’ve realized that the one thing that I am only ever consistently praised for is how intelligent I am. I have received this compliment ever since elementary school and I always try to do my best. However, with my parents having such a view of who I am as a person, I only ever feel like they care about whether or not I take advanced classes and pass them. This has caused me to take on courses that I honestly don’t wish to and while I have always done really well in them, it takes a lot out of me. I am constantly stressed, I often don’t get as much sleep as I need to due to all the work, and I am just generally struggling. Along with dealing with some personal issues regarding my parents, it’s been hard to manage ever since going into high school.

That’s why I wrote Logan the way I did in this drabble. I know he is a tad OOC but that was a conscientious choice on my part. While as a side, he is the physical embodiment of logic, human AUs are different. Humans have emotions. Very complex, underlying, and confusing emotions. So it is not difficult to say that Logan would obviously be a little less guilty about having emotions in this type of world as he is not a part of Thomas but his own person. He’s known to be the most intelligent one and while in the series, he takes pride in it as it’s his job, the idea of this drabble was to draw an emphasis on just how this small bit of praise on how intelligent I am has caused me to struggle with seeing myself as anything besides my intelligence. Everything I have done in school is a result of this and I have heightened anxiety about missing anything when it comes to academics: due dates, days of school, and even extra credit assignments. I want to be an artist for a living and yet I feel that by wanting that, I’m disappointing people by wasting my intelligence.

Overall, this is just my way of saying that writing Logan in such a way was meant to help me come to terms with taking it easy on myself by dropping a class and wanting to have a creatively focused career rather than an intellectually focused one. It was meant to be therapeutic but regardless, I do hope you like it. And again, feel free to comment! I love you guys, thanks for reading!

[gotatext]

TASK OO1 / OOC SURVEY.

[kermit voice] hallo.... its me 

YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — nora

AGE — 23

TIMEZONE — gmt

PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/her

MBTI — enfp-infp border cos im an introvert who Masquerades as an extrovert :)

HP HOUSE — i spent 10 yrs of my life thinkin i was gryffindor.... to find out.... huffle....puff...... 

ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — i fuckin wish! being a student was dope af i got stressed about essays like once a month and apart from that i was just chillin, surrounded by really intelligent people every day n livin it up on the party scene. adult life fucking sucks no one wants to have fun cos we all work fuckin tonnes of hours so we can afford to eat and get paid peanuts xx

ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — im really afraid of bein one of those jock types who peaked in high school but i deff peaked in uni like 100% i was way more interesting 2 years ago

LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — im not showin u my instagram bc im a fuckin embarassment but this is pinterest , this is my personal blog, this is my writing / 1x1 blog i never use any more n this is my trash talking twitter where i mostly just cry about timothee chalamet and bash the tories. 

DISCORD USER — kristine’s forehead vein#8664

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — i dont read fanfiction much but when i do u can be sure it’s slow burn angsty enemies to lovers mutual pining heart attack every time one of them accidentally brushes the other’s hand

TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — suspiria (2018 luca guadagnino version rogue i kno but i prefer the remake), the lobster, before sunrise, baz luhrmann romeo + juliet, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind,  thoroughbreds (REC!! so underwatched pls watch it. compelling female characters), hunt for the wilderpeople (also so underwatched), swiss army man, call me by your name, atonement, moonrise kingdom, trainspotting, the florida project. i rlly like films ok

A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — the song of achilles by madeline miller n also fen by daisy johnson

A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — booksmart cos its fuckin dope

WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — libra

ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? —  i like to pretend im super invested in it mostly to anger my friends but tbh.... i just use it as a rough guide for character creation.... its fun but i dnt .... fully invest in what it has to say..... altho i am the most unbalanced n indecisive bitch on earth so i guess they got that right !! i just live to please baybeyy!

WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — tumblr for about 8 year (omg) n before tht facebook..... i was very embarassingly in a twilight rp..... i wrote jane..... i also rped as a scene kid oc n when i was like 12 i was on some weird forum harry potter roleplay where i basically played a self insert with georgie henley as the fc......

WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? — i used to have so many hobbies but now i jst lie in my bed staring at the ceiling. but before i was workin like a dog i loved reading, writing, acting in theatre productions..... going out on the town getting bevved..... big druggy EDM nights in warehouses tht probably weren’t liscenced for tht many ppl..... gigs... costume-design and making, spoken word poetry, acrylic painting n rollerskating but my sister broke my skates abt two years ago in vengeance and i’ll never forgive her that fuckin bitch

HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! — no my landlord is a fascist

IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — i’ll never stop reccing euphoria!! also i was pleasantly surprised by looking for alaska!! but i also rlly like bob’s burgers, parks and rec, good omens.... black mirror, n sharp objects. lovesick on bbciplayer (n netflix i think) is also rlly fun

ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — maybe love island, idk if i talk abt that much bc i am ashamed but i am so obsessed with it. i even got the love island game n got so invested in my fictional relationship w bobby tht i had to delete it

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — god god... i haven’t finished a book in ages.... i recently started reading milkman by anna burns, the bees by laline paull and everything under by daisy johnson.... bt the last book i read cover to cover was probs circe. defs read it. feminist and witchy

CURRENTLY READING? — i jst said this but the bees, everything under and less so milkman cos im finding milkman a bit tough

LAST FILM? REC IT? — i watched ladyworld the lord of the flies all-female remake n even maya hawke could not save it.... dnt get me wrong from an art film point of view i loved it but it felt a bit underdeveloped n a level media studies for me..... apart from tht?? the runaways (yorkshire film not released yet at a preview screening) and threads (also a yorkshire film from the 80s about nuclear apocalypse)

THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — portrait of a lady on fire, i work at an independent cinema n we recently had a preview screening and everyone said it was SICK, uhhhh short term 12, n the new eliza scanlen movie babyteeth

WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — madagascar because when i was 12 my parents bought me a little television with a dvd player in it for my birthday and madagascar was the only dvd i owned for like..... the first two years of havin the absolute luxury of a tv in my room so i just used to watch it all the time n i now basically know the script inside out

WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — nothing, life is pointless n i hate fun, let me rot in peace

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — ughhh god probably lcd soundsystem. gorillaz, the streets, tame impala, talking heads, soft hair, i also love lizz tho n also angry twangy guitar girl bands like girlpool, courtney barnett, best coast, cherry glazerr,

WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — quiet night in my party days are over i cant even be bothered to go to the shops if its past 4.30pm and dark these days

ANY PHOBIAS? — clowns n rats

DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — absolutely not

BIRDS? — yes but not if they fly in my face

ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — i love both i want one 

BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — tory middle aged boomers who treat me like actual shit on their shoe because i work in the service industry like thats my choice and their poor economic decisions didnt mean i have to do a shitty job to afford to live bcos of austerity n cuts to arts funding meaning i cant get a job writing unless i self-fund :)))

FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — that everyone ive met through rp is a fuckin LAFF

TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — god .... diana silvers, timothee chalamet, margaret qualley, kristine froseth, froy gutierrez, zendaya, elle fanning, astrid berges frisbey, hunter schafer, leonardo dicaprio

FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — herman tomeraas, hunter schafer, saoirse ronan, timothee chalamet, froy gutierrez

FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — linda mccartney 1/2pounder mozzarella veggie burgers, sweet potato wedges, tomato soup, mozzarella sticks, brownies

WORST FOOD? — green things like broccoli n sprouts gross. baked beans cos as a kid ppl used to do baked bean baths for comic relief / red nosed day a lot n i thought when they were finished in the baked bean bath they just put all the cold beans back in the tin. actually anything small that moves around on your plate. peas. spaghetti. sweetcorn. i dont like small things i cant control.

DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? — last year my housemate had an xbox n i went through a phase of obsessively playin fable 3 it was amazing. i had like 5 husbands and 3 wives and loads of kids but they all ended up leavin me cos i spent so much time out doing quests neglecting them

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — this

LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — im one of those bitches who was in this grp all the way back when it was swipe... so quirky and original!! i knew the band before u! anyway im goin now this has been sufficiently embarassing..... i am lame

[nardaviel]

Part 8 / ?. You know that time in December when there are too many holidays all squished together? That’s this part. Nothing else I promised at the end of the last part has happened yet, but soon! Soon.

Once again some new packs have come out. I’m not sure I want them to do Strangerville, but I’ve already done some stuff with Get Famous and Island Living, either in this part or the next one, which is also complete and just needs to be edited.

Winterfest morning dawns at Ibushi’s new house.

That greenhouse is way, way, way bigger than he needs, but I don't care. I just got so sick of his miniscule greenhouse at his starter home.

On the inside, the house is extremely green, and where it's not green, it's full of mismatching wood tones. You can blame that on me, if you like (except for the mismatching wood tones, that’s 99% EA's fault). I blame myself. I built this house ages ago and I judge my past self real hard when I look at the interior decorating. But it's funnier to blame it on Ibushi's own tastes. He has a favorite color, okay? He knows what he likes.

In any event, he wanted to have a gathering for Winterfest. Just a little one, with his three best friends and the little bit of his family who he's on good terms with. However, while Atsushi obligingly chats with him in the kitchen...

Atsushi: No, honestly, Ibushi, I'd love to help, are you sure you don't need anything?

...his workaholic cousin Sora closets himself in Ibushi's tiny office and smiles down at the laptop...

...while Sora's daughter Antigone makes a beeline for the bookshelf in the otherwise deserted living room.

Not unlike I would have done as a teenager, I guess, except I'd have brought my own book.

A brief introduction of the OCs: Sora is Ibushi's older cousin, featured in this Ibushi fic that I wrote if you're interested. His wife Sarah is mentioned a few times. As of the end of the fic he hasn't had time to have kids, but in the canon verse he has three. However, the Sim Yumura family is based more on a Harry Potter AU than on canon, so Sim Sora has five. The blonde teenagers are Auden and Antigone, the green-haired child is Caelan, and there are two toddlers who you won't meet for a long time, if ever, because I can't be bothered with them.

Do any of them look like the actual characters look in my head? No, not really, so if you have read that fic, please don’t replace your existing mental image with Sim Sora. But the canon third years don’t really look right, either. They’re recognizable, and so are the OCs.

Listen, the trio needed friends, and I never care enough about random townie Sims to try with them. The OCs will only be supporting characters in these posts, I promise. Party guests, that type of thing.

Anyway!

En is pleased to see Atsushi when he at last wanders in.

While this is sweet, Sora and his two teenage children are still over in a far corner of the house away from their host...

...possibly because Caelan kicked his dad off the computer in order to play Tetris Blicbloc badly.

You might be wondering where Kinshirou is. If you've read that fic, you might also be wondering where Sarah is. I have no answers for you. Maybe they're just going to be really late?

Look at all the food Ibushi made :D and the pretty flower arrangement! With flowers that he (mostly) grew himself. What a talented guy.

Ibushi: Dinner's ready! Come eat! (If the rest of them don't show up now, I'll just give up.)

You might have noticed in the last screenshot that Woody grew up! He looks like he's sad because he has no food, but in reality he has no food because he just ate.

Sora, in the meantime, has started opening presents on his own. What a rude guy. No wonder he's raised such rude children. This is all so OOC all I can do is laugh tbh

It worked lol. Welcome, Sarah and Kinshirou.

Also of note: Antigone went straight for the cake, she didn't even bother with the ham. Maybe if Sarah hadn't been so late, she could've told her daughter not to eat dessert first.

She feels guilty, I can tell.

Sarah: So how has it been going? You’ve been keeping the kids in line? Sora: Yes. Definitely. They’ve all been very well-behaved. Sarah: ...sure, Sora.

This game is so weird about sitting down... not just when eating but in so many contexts. Let the Arimas sit!!!!!

ok but joking aside though this warms my heart.

Ibushi: Kinshirou, it's Winterfest! Lighten up. Kinshirou: I'm perfectly content, thank you. Ibushi: Try to laugh more! It's the spirit of the season. Like this! Kinshirou: Ibushi, no—

Ibushi: HO HO HO!!!!!!

Ibushi: Come on, it's only once a year. Try it.

Kinshirou: No.

He looks like he's still in a pretty good mood, though. I guess it’s Winterfest spirit.

The kids get sent home (it's literally just across the street lol) so that the adults can open presents. Makes you wonder what kinds of presents they're exchanging...

... oh :C

It was En's present, wasn't it? Wasn't it, En?

It totally was. En, how cruel.

This is one of the most perplexing and worrying screenshots in the entire series to date. Ibushi stares at Sora in disappointment while Kinshirou, who disappeared with Sora a few screenshots back, tries to exchange a smug and meaningful look with him. However, Sora is smiling (nervously?) at his wife, who, in turn, is staring into space, smiling obliviously, probably thinking about work.

Sora, what clandestine political plot have you dragged Kinshirou into? He might have family connections but he's a pure innocent bby, don't corrupt him! You know Sarah would never approve!!!

Sarah: *whispering* Yes, Sora, this is the right time to open presents. Sora: (Oh, god, she knows... how does she always know?)

Eventually, even the lure of presents isn’t strong enough. En can't help himself: He finds Atsushi again and grabs him in another passionate embrace.

Finally, once night has fallen...

Father Winter shows up! :O

...even though the fireplace is lit. Must be a tough job being Father Winter.

He's about to laugh, but it looks like he's got cramps. Too many cookies?

Despite his agony, however, he replenishes Ibushi's present pile. What a nice man. Not like you, Sora.

He's a much better gift-giver than En, too.

Just casually chatting with Santa, as you do.

Don't give Ibushi a hard time about his hygiene, okay, he's been working hard all day.

Finally, the holiday comes to a close. It's just Ibushi and Woody again, both passed out in Ibushi's extremely green bedroom.

:D

But now it's back to Kinatsuen. We have to switch households now or else we'll miss

En's favorite holiday, Pretty Boy Day. Look at all those hearts around the traditions I can't believe it

Atsushi has decided to be more thoughtful in choosing holiday decorations from now on. No more going to the store and grabbing the first thing he sees! He's going to think carefully about what'll look good and where.

Meanwhile, En has dragged Kinshirou onto the couch to set the mood early.

En: Look, what I was talking about earlier, with the tongues. Isn't it weird? Kinshirou: Yes, En, this is all very strange. (Oh, no, this is too vulgar, I can't watch... how is this even permitted on television... yet I can’t give En the satisfaction of reacting too strongly...)

Atsushi... you tried your best.

It’s actually not awful, for the most part, but the ribbons on the fences make my eyes hurt. The colors clash too much.

As Kinshirou flees the house to escape from that TV show...

...Atsushi comes downstairs to take his place.

Atsushi: Good morning, En-chan. What are you watching? En: ...you'll see. Atsushi: All... all right then...

At least they both get invested in the same plot points.

As an aside, Kinshirou has come back and started a fantasy novel, and the game suggested that I name it Cat Lord, Cat Counsel which is absolutely a book I would read.

Don't remember the last time I showed one of these so these are the books Kinshirou is currently getting royalties for. I don't even remember what some of these titles are based on? What AU would inspire a title like Forever Quiet, that sounds depressing.

Or that’s what I was thinking when I was typing this commentary as I played. Now, going through it again to post, I have an idea for what AU it might have been, and I was right. It’s depressing. Kinshirou, sometimes your books are real downers, you know that?

The sun has finally come out. Perfect weather for Atsushi to show the world his smuggler costume, right?

...well, En sold a painting and I got the Get Famous notif, even though the option itself didn't have the (+Fame) next to it when I clicked on it. So I guess this is the first step down the path to En Yufuin, famous artist.

I sound reluctant but actually I'm kind of excited haha. I even thought about having him not quit his job, since I think that would give him the chance to get things like fame chance cards, which would let him get fame faster... then I realized how OOC that was and changed my mind. En and Kinshirou, Atsushi's famous artist boyfriends.

En: Atsushiiii... Hey, Atsushi. How do you like my costume?

Atsushi: I like it, En-chan. It's subtle. I can barely tell you're in costume at all.

En: ...hey, what's that supposed to mean? Atsushi: Anyway, are you coming in for lunch? En: ...no. I was just showing you my costume. It's probably not getting any warmer than this, so I'd better do the best Pretty Boy Day tradition now. Atsushi: En, really? It's the middle of winter, you'll freeze!

En: Pretty Boy Day is still Pretty Boy Day even when it's snowing! Atsushi: Yes, but... you know what? You go ahead, En-chan. I'm going inside. En: You won't even stay and keep me compa⁠— Atsushi: Have fun.

En: (Well, fine, I'll just go by myself... what did that even mean, "I can barely tell you're in costume at all"? God, it's fucking cold. ...I wonder if they're watching, heheh. Although, actually, it’s so cold I’m not exactly at my best here.)

Atsushi: Hey, Kin-chan, don't look outside. En-chan is⁠— Kinshirou: *averting his gaze, his eyes barely open* YES, THANK YOU, ATCHAN, I CAN IMAGINE

Your sense of propriety is fooling no one, Kinshirou.

That's okay. They can have their own Pretty Boy Day in here while En is out having a good time.

Kinshirou even reprises his grim reaper costume.

...for just enough time to realize he feels stupid and take it off again.

Kinshirou: Yes... this is much better.

Kinshirou: What is that... ensemble. En: Do you like it? Kinshirou: No.

En does his best to change Kinshirou's mind.

In the background, Atsushi listens and laughs to himself. I would say he's watching, except, of course, he isn't wearing his glasses.

Have you ever looked at a character and just thought, "Yes... he is perfect"?

A happy ending to PBD. Is Kinshirou entranced by En's beauty, or is he annoyed that En fell asleep in Kinshirou's own bed before Kinshirou could even lie back down after the WooHoo? (The answer is: both.)

But then, he thinks, how sad will it be for Atchan if he comes home after a long day at work, after having to work on Pretty Boy Day, and he finds us both asleep?

So he goes down to wait for Atsushi instead.

Cute.

All right. The time has come. En wakes up and realizes he has no more vacation days remaining.

Employer: En, hello. Are you finally ready to come in to work? En: Ah, actually, no, I'm quitting, effective... now. Employer: You're quitti— En: Bye!

Bye.

This is the second time in a row he's painted this exact painting. He painted it, sold it, and started a new painting which is also this painting. I guess he just really wants to go to the beach.

Then, fuelled by black tea, he decides to improve his logic skill by observing the sky. I was laughing to myself at how slowly it was progressing when I remembered that he actually had several points in it already for work. That's how long it's been since I've paid attention to En's job lol

Who brings food to the computer and puts the bowl ON the keyboard, though? En is a madman.

It begins...

That was fast, though. Only two books. Maybe it made a difference that they were both bestsellers? Either way, congrats, Kinshirou. Although actually, I'm not sure he's going to be thrilled about the idea of fame.

That unsettled, perturbed stare as he gazes into the distance, imagining his growing fanbase massing on the horizon...

Okay, here’s a bit of a text wall, by the standards of these posts: I'm going to be honest, none of the fame perk trees are aimed at any of the Boueibus, but in particular not Kinshirou. Half of why this idea is so funny to me is that I love the idea of them getting famous through their writing or their art (or their cooking? celebrity chef Atsushi??) but being completely unenthusiastic about it and just wanting a chill life.

I think with Kinshirou and En, I'm going to go at least halfway up the tree that gets you more money from crafted objects, for obvious reasons. You also get some neat stuff in the mail every day! And, unfortunately for them, you gain fame faster from skill-based actions, which I assume includes writing and painting. If Kinshirou was still trying to be a villain, he could put points the negative reputation tree too, where being a douchebag in public makes you famous. But he is reformed now, thank you very much.

Anyway, all that is to say, here's Kinshirou's first fame perk (and En’s, once he gets to this point):

Now on to the story.

En: En, you're an artist, he says... En, Atchan's ribbons looked so horrible for Pretty Boy Day, he says... I don't have time, he says... Jeez, give a guy one success and he thinks he can order anyone around. After I'm done, he'll never ask me to decorate anything again.

I would probably have done something like this for New Year's Eve, left to my own devices:

Sadly, En wanted to repulse Kinshirou so we are instead left with this:

As many flashing lights and tacky prints as possible, all in different colors, none of which are New Year’s Eve colors. The anti-Kinshirou decorations. It’s actually not completely horrible. Maybe En was incapable of making something that looked completely horrible. But it is not great.

...and now I've found En's least favorite holiday. He doesn't like to decorate, as Kinshirou will soon discover, and he doesn't like to party. That's half the things you do on New Year’s Eve.

Maybe this will cheer him up, though. No more having Kinshirou boss him around. (Ha. As if. Kinshirou will always boss him around.)

Kinshirou: Good morning, Atchan. Atsushi: Good morning... Kinshirou: What's wrong? Atsushi: Oh, it's just... last night, when I got in from work... Kinshirou: ...yes? Atsushi: ...you really thought that was better than my Pretty Boy Day decorations? Kinshirou: What?

Kinshirou: Kinshirou: At least Ibushi's moved. ... Oh, no, Ibushi’s visiting later. Yumura-san is visiting later. We’re having guests.

En admires his own animal painting. He's feeling very pleased at the moment, and he's not sure why...

Turn around and you'll find out, En.

Atsushi has an ambition. A burning ambition. His goal is to make three fancy dishes and serve them all during a single event. And since they're planning to have people over for New Year's Eve, this is the perfect opportunity!

...or so he thinks. Ibushi, who has randomly come over without being invited or let into the house, is distracting him, making the whole thing take twice as long as necessary. Kinshirou is just cheering him on, deeply impressed as always by his boyfriend's kitchen skills.

But if they're going to have company, I need to remember that they own a thermostat so that everyone isn't stuck wearing jackets in the house.

As the sun sets, Atsushi calls the other two over.

Atsushi: Okay, guys, before Ibushi and his cousin get here... you know what time it is, right? Kinshirou: Yes, En. You know what time it is, don't you? En: Huh? What time is it?

Atsushi: It's time to make our resolutions! I wonder what I should work on next year... Kinshirou: *pointed look* En: ...he doesn't actually think I'll make a resolution, does he?

Kinshirou: Yes. I must focus on self-improvement. En: (They seriously think I'm going to do this.)

Atsushi: All right! I can do it! This year for sure! Kinshirou: Yes. I will be sure to... where is En?

Please appreciate my dedication to characterization over gameplay. Kinshirou could have chosen to write a book, which he does all the time anyway, and Atsushi could have chosen to complete an aspiration milestone, which he is about half an inch from doing. Forget the week-long time limit, he's going to do it in a few Sim hours. They were both so tempting.

(Also: "Kinshirou wants to work on a skill for his resolution! Start working on a skill to get this done!" Thanks for the tip, that clears up a lot.)

Everyone is here!

Kinshirou: I've been making progress with your request, Yumura-san, and I think... Sarah: Sora, what are you talking about over here? Sora: *thinking fast* A book we've both read. Kusatsu-san isn't a fan. c: Sarah: Hmm...

A nice, low-key New Year's Eve party. Except that Atsushi wasn't satisfied with his fancy salad so he's scrambling to make some extra. (That is to say, the gourmet dish counter for his aspiration reset unexpectedly lol)

Congratulations, Atsushi!!!!! That reward trait is incredible, too. Way better than En's.

Kinshirou is lagging behind a little with his aspiration but that's okay. I'm working on it behind the scenes.

Unlike some Ens I could mention, Atsushi already knows what he wants to focus on next. He wants to hone his nerdy instincts with the Nerd Brain aspiration, which focuses on logic, books, rocket science(!), and handiness. The video game-focused one would require him to change careers, sadly, so we're going with this.

As of right now, though, Kinshirou is the resident repairman. I guess Atsushi will have to slowly take over. Even though Kinshirou is already at 6 skill points... oh, well.

:D There they all are. And now Atsushi can finally eat his sparkling excellent!-quality food.

Ibushi and the Yumuras head home after dinner. Atsushi waits for the countdown to start on TV, but if En wants to stay up for that, he needs to take a nap while he can...

Then, once the clock ticks over to 11pm, the three of them commence the creepiest thing I have ever seen in The Sims 4.

Kinatsuen:

Kinatsuen: *in eerie unison* Shushoobie!

Kinatsuen:

Kinatsuen: *in eerie unison* Shushoobie!

Kinatsuen:

Kinatsuen: :D

It was honestly like watching a cult ceremony. Very scary. Happy Sim New Year???

Atsushi: Thank you for staying awake, En-chan. Or for waking up again, I guess.

Okay, well, that's cute. But is it cute enough to justify all the creepy chanting...

That’s all for today. Part 9 begins at the start of spring, the start of the new year, &c. &c. I can absolutely 100% guarantee this time that part 9 is the wedding episode, and I suffered so much to make that wedding happen that I’ll probably post it soon just to get it out there and away from me.

[pollaidh]

Hints Final Problem is all in John’s dying brain...

I know some people are proposing the entire series 4 is a fake, and that there’ll be one final episode which clears it all up. I don’t know. That’s a lot of clearing up. Having one fake episode is ok. Having people watch an entire fake series is like those awful ‘surprise, and then they all woke up’ endings.

T6T and TLD feel real to me, and to many others - casuals and not. My writer’s instinct is that that hug and the very raw, honest communication in TLD was absolutely necessary for the character and romance arcs. It’s in TFP that everything goes a bit weird. We are already in John’s brain in TLD (we see his two sides arguing with him - head-Mary and him) before he’s shot. My hypothesis is that we continue in John’s brain into TFP, as he lies dying, and so follows an analysis. Does TFP make more sense if it’s what’s going on in John’s dying brain? I think so.

John is dying

Despite a history of cliff-hangers that end amusingly lamely, (TGG, TRF), many people felt there was something wrong with Sherlock’s simple explanation that Eurus didn’t shoot John with a real gun, just a tranquilliser. Although she does then go on to use tranquiliser darts in TFP (and which might still be in John’s brain anyway), everything from the start of TFP feels somehow ‘off’. The red ‘blood’ rug at Eurus’/therapist’s may be a red-herring, if John really was only tranquillised. Equally it could be foreshadowing him bleeding out on the carpet.

This whole episode makes a whole lot more sense if this is John’s unconscious brain as he lies with a gunshot wound to his head. His damaged, unconscious brain is mixing reality of life with Sherlock, putting together hints of things he’s heard about, and deducing, such as locking up the third brother, pirates, and Redbird, mixing them with the prison island that recalls Azkaban and the films we know John loves, and possibly things he is hearing in real life as he lies dying.

Signs of a fake

There are plenty of hints of a hoax; obviously within the plot Sherlock and John hoax Mycroft, but the hoax and unreality hints go much deeper than would be necessary merely to refer to the Mycroft hoax. And they’ve done fake and internal sequences and even whole episodes before: We’ve had Sherlock’s mind palace, Sherlock’s brain as he dies after the gunshot, the different interpretations of The Fall, John talking to Mary in his head, and of course, The Abominable Bride, an entire drugged-up episode in Sherlock’s brain as he almost kills himself with a drug overdose. In most cases of fake sequences (Sherlock gunshot, TAB and Mary-in-head) we get an internal and important revelation and relationships and who matters to either John or Sherlock.

Lines and references which suggests that TFP is not real:

The indications what we are seeing is not real are quite strong at the start, as we are introduced to the episode, and then pop up from time to time throughout the episode. - The film noire is a hoax - the Sherlock writers wrote it. It doesn’t exist. - Sherlock and John hoax Mycroft to scare the truth out of him. The wider hoax will scare the truth out of John as he lies dying. - “Pantomime” (Mycroft referring ostensibly to the clown hoax, but possibly more.) - The portraits leaking blood is a double hoax - it would be really quite difficult to make happen, suggesting that not only is the sequence in Mycroft’s house a hoax by John and Sherlock, but the hoaxing is a hoax in itself. It didn’t happen. - “The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” - Mycroft has told his family lies to make their lives easier (because he doesn’t understand parental love, as Sherlock didn’t in ASiP but does in John’s brain (?) by TLD and when he says he might want to call Rosie in TFP). - Mycroft telling Sherlock “ghost stories” about his sister. - The gravestones weren’t even real. - Sherlock’s: “This is a lie.” - Mycroft’s: “Heaven is a fantasy.” - The fact that despite a relatively short time having passed between the drone explosion and piracy, none of them have any scratches, despite having been blown out of a first floor window onto concrete. That’s physically impossible. And I think it’s also John’s brain clawing back and trying to tell him he’s in a story (he’s a writer, he knows). Later in the 3 Garridebs section, Sherlock notes ’no cuts, no scarring’ from the kickback of the Buffalo rifle, so that particular Garrideb could not have fired it. - Frequent references to acting and plays. Mycroft as Lady Bracknell in Oscar Wilde’s ‘The Importance of Being Earnest” (more analysis on that later) is mentioned a few times. It does make sense within the story, but may have wider significance. - “Fairytales.” - “You think it’s a trick.” - “This is insane.” “We know.” - John starting to note inconsistencies even in his dying brain, reminds me of what he says within Sherlock’s brain in TAB: I write stories, I know when I’m in one. - The 3 Garridebs case, which they literally keep dangling, has been subtly changed. See later.

Weird film references There are so many weird film references in TFP, all jumbled together, far more than can be casual, or merely Moftiss referencing shows they like. All the references below are explained if we think we’re in John’s dying brain and he’s mixing up reality and the films we know he likes watching. I’m sure to be missing some film/play references (e.g. Clue, as I don’t know it), but these are the ones I picked up:

- The many references to Silence of the Lambs, and one of the real guards even pointing out this similarity (again, John’s brain trying to assert authority). - The prison with the mad clever prisoner - “Dissecting” is used in SotL, and Sherlock later says “not torture. Vivisection.” - In SoTL they are racing at the end to save ‘Catherine’ who is trapped in the bottom of a dry well. - The Buffalo Gun in the 3 Garridebs case (not from the Conan Doyle version). Known usually as a Buffalo Rifle they were made in the late 1800s, not in the 1940s as John says. And if you google ‘buffalo gun’ you will return mainly entries on the ‘Buffalo Bill Gun’. This is a toy (fake again) gun, and the name links into (1) cowboy films (see Moriarty later), and (2) TSoTL where Buffalo Bill is the murder. The wiki entry on Buffalo Bill Gun is a short entire from 2013 with all references to a book called “It’s all in the game”. That may or may not be coincidence, but I haven’t found this book in any internet search. - Flight recalls Bond Air fiasco, which in itself recalls Bond Films, and we know John’s a fan of those. - Mycroft with the sword and gun in his umbrella. You just know that’s the kind of thing John’s been wondering about for years. - The Shining (obviously also work as part of John and Sherlock’s hoax too) - Clowns (obviously also work as part of J&S hoax too) - Jane Eyre: Gothic romance which ends with a burning house. - Uncle Rudi (a painting of a photo, purposefully blurred, see analysis here) - The island prison recalls many films, not least Azkaban in Harry Potter, Bond and others. - The Bond type action and sequences such as the drone bomb. The interior of the prison looks like a Bond villain’s lair, right down to the wooly hats on the guards. - Mrs Hudson dancing Freddie Mercury style with her hoover, and then Moriarty stepping off the helicopter to the gay anthem “I want to break free”. - Moriarty in his recorded taunting actually tells us this is too much like a film when the Governor sets off the alarm: Moriarty mentions Star Wars, Klingons, Cowboys, etc.. This is John’s brain protesting again. - Moriarty - his brother was a stationmaster? That has to mean something, it’s so random. There’s a 2012 film which won lots of awards, called “The Stationmaster”. “A lonely, dysfunctional station master lives in the middle of nowhere.Unexpectedly a woman exists one of the steam trains and during the night they spend together she exposes his eyes to a life he never believed he could have.” Reminds me of John when he was ‘so lost and lonely’ (we come back to that at the end) before he met Sherlock. One night! Incidentally the stationmaster has a moustache, sandy hair, in his 40s, short and stocky.

That’s why there are so many consistencies, plot-holes, OOC etc. That’s why they have no visible injuries from jumping out of a fucking window. It’s not real.

Next: Meta on the episode, assuming (based on hints above) that it is Not Real.