#onto me* but mom said she wondered bc if ‘‘em and said girl I had a crush on lol she’s met her

[allofuswantgwinam]

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

stonewall uprising, 2010

[itsclownhours]

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

.

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

.

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

.

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

.

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

.

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

.

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

.

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

.

gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

.

morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

.

leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

.

morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

.

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

.

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

.

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

.

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

.

morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

.

merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

.

morgause: customer (derogatory)

.

arthur: business major (derogatory)

.

leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

.

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

.

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

.

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

.

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

.

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

.

mithian: fruit (affectionate)

.

arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

.

gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

.

morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

.

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

.

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

.

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

.

percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

.

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

.

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

.

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

.

kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

.

morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

.

gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

.

merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

.

arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

.

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

.

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

.

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

.

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

.

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

.

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

.

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

.

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

.

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

.

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

.

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

.

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

.

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

.

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

.

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

.

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

.

gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

.

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

.

arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

.

merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

.

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

.

merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

.

gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

.

morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

.

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

.

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

.

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

.

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

.

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

.

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

.

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

.

merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

.

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

.

website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

.

gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

.

morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

.

morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

.

gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

.

morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

.

morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

.

merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

.

arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

.

gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

.

morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

.

morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

.

gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

.

morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

.

gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

.

morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

.

morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

.

arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

.

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

.

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

.

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

.

morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

.

mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

.

morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

.

mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

.

morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

.

morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

.

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

.

morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

.

morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

.

season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

.

morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

.

arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

.

morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

.

mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

.

mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

.

morgana: i deserve to be kissed

.

morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

.

mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

.

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

.

morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

.

morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

.

morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

.

merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

.

morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

.

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

.

gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

.

morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

.

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

.

merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

.

cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

.

morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

.

gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

.

morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

.

morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

.

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

.

morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

.

morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

.

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

.

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

.

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

.

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

.

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

.

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

.

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

.

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

.

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

.

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

.

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

.

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

.

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

.

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

.

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

.

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

.

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

.

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

.

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

.

morgana: i have no self of steam

.

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

.

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

.

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

.

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

.

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

.

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

.

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

.

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

.

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

.

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

.

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

.

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

.

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

.

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

.

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

.

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

.

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

.

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

.

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

.

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

.

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

.

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

.

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

.

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

.

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

.

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

.

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

.

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

.

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

.

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

.

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

.

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

.

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

.

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

.

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

.

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

.

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

.

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

.

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

.

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

.

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

.

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

.

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

.

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

.

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

.

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

.

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

.

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

.

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

.

gwaine: turn down for whom?

.

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

.

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

.

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

.

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

.

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

.

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

.

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

.

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

.

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

.

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

.

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

.

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

.

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

.

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

.

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

.

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

OR

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

.

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

.

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

.

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

.

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

.

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

.

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

.

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

.

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

.

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

.

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

.

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

.

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

.

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

.

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

.

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

.

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

.

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

.

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

.

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

.

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

.

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

.

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

.

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

.

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

.

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

.

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

.

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

.

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

.

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

.

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

.

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

.

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

.

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

.

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

.

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

.

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

[aeroknot]

here have 1,740 words out of 17,600 words of narusaku headcanon

.............i’m goin’ in deep y’all sry not sry (ok i AM kinda sry to those on mobile who have to scroll past this....... i wish mobile didn’t suck like that so you can avoid watching me be a huge dweeb instead of pro’lly what you decided to follow me for hnnnnggh)

these are 2 separate moments I came up with that I eventually tied together after some editing (/fantasizing about my own ideas) passes:

at a gathering with their friends, they both got insufferably cocky about a game involving pairs against pairs, and the stakes kept rising, eventually hinging on some pretty risky bets. when they lost, they were mortified in having to eat the brightly colored crow their friends (conspirators, the useless lot of them!) came up with. they had to temporarily dye their hair the other’s hair color, and couldn’t wash it out for a whole week (or use a genjutsu?). so sakura had to work around the hospital with blonde hair, and pink-haired naruto was at the mercy of his sharp-tongued genin students. people wonder if sakura meant to and if she wants to look more like her shishou, which is cool and all, but most everyone says they like her pink hair better, which is a relief. The most annoying part is the humiliation she feels since she had to do it as the result of her own hubris. he complains about the relentless teasing savagery of his genin students while they’re walking along the canal on their last evening of this punishment, but admits to sakura he doesn’t mind the hair so much and shares he’s often wondered what it’d be like to have his mother’s hair, and pink is similarly distinctive and beautiful and in the same color family. It’s the first comparison of one of her features to his mother’s he speaks aloud, and his heart starts racing because he momentarily forgets she doesn’t know about his mother’s words to find a girl like her. Completely unaware of his thoughts and sudden nervousness, she serenely replies, “I’m sorry she’s not here to experience how sweet her son can be to her… I wonder if she would have liked me? I think I’d have liked her” she actually doesn’t take his silence personally, sort of because she doesn’t think what she said requires a response, but mostly because she’s distracted. they get around some trees at the edge of the pathway right at that moment, allowing a beautiful view of the brilliantly warm-toned sunset. she makes a noise of appreciation and with a childlike wonder he hasn’t seen on her in a little while, she cheerily says, “this sunset has all our colors, Naruto!” “Yeah” he says, a little breathless. “All our colors.” He watches her until she notices (trrrooopey as fuuuuuuck, i know, shut up) and smiles real big at him but humorously admonishes, “Don’t look at me, weirdo! You see me all the time, but you don’t see the same sunset twice” then she faces it again. So he puts his hands in his pockets to stop their quivering as the scene soaks in and suddenly it’s just really hard to see her green eyes with his blonde hair. he turns to take in the sunset too, and he thinks, “she would have loved you, Sakura… we can bet on it” (originally all i’d written here was the first paragraph, and then I think my subconscious LEAPT OUT AT ME the next time I read it to provide this sunset scene -- they’re my rainbow sherbet fighting dreamers ninja family!!!)

~ & ~

In my headcanon world, Naruto and Sakura have five kids, two of which are adopted and three conceived. * I want to note here that I almost never go the “lots and lots of babies” route w/ my otp’s. 3 out of my top 5 do not go on to have kids in my interpretations of them. But for Naruto and Sakura it makes sense, and this is especially based in my conviction he would want to adopt and he would want a big family to experience the exact opposite of his childhood. So, yeah, 5 makes a lot of sense to me. I tend to think they are resistant to the idea of kids for a while bc of the threats to their lives, but they eventually decide they both really want to have kids after fostering two boys and it’s so hard to eventually let them go on to their adoptive parents. Sooo.. their youngest are twins; they’re named Konohana and Sakuya. And my reasoning for this, as well as for all the other names, is pretty in depth. Here: I first heard about Konohana from @yellowflasher‘s great fanfics. She has a Konohana and Kae (not twins), and I asked her once if she named Konohana after the myth, and she said she actually hadn’t seen or heard it before. It obviously stuck with me tho!! Uzumaki Konohana = from the Konohanasakuya-hime mythology. I just discovered with this name theme of using myths I coulda inadvertently referenced Kushina and Minato as well!! -- Kushina’s name could have been derived from Kushinadahime, a goddess of rice/life, and Susanoo is her husband, the god of STORMS aka Namikaze Minato. (Maybe other peeps in the fandom already knew this but I’m late to the party. Oh well! I was shocked when I learned this yesterday.) And it honors Konohagakure, and honors Sakura: ‘flower’ is part of the name. Konohana was conceived (twin to Sakuya)

Uzumaki Sakuya = from the Konohanasakuya-hime mythology. And see above for the comments about the possible Kushina/Minato connection. And it honors Sakura: it’s literally 2/3rds her name; one different ending syllable. & naruto calls her Momo-chan, and I explain why below.

After deciding all this, I came up with this moment: Naruto and Sakura love the names from the princess myth but also love they are referring to Konoha and Sakura. tho, because Sakuya can sometimes sound too similar to Sakura, confusingly so-- and as Naruto’s the only one who has to say both names in the household (y’know, because it’s either “Sakuya” or “mom” said by everyone else, the kids don’t call her Sakura) -- he often calls her “Momo-chan.” as a kid she’s not sure why but just rolls with it and then one day in her later childhood it dawns on her: orange + pink = peach (note: momo means the fruit and momo-iro means the color but I think naruto would just keep it short and simple as momo-- he’d probably argue an orange plus a cherry equals a peach anyway, somehow……... hahhh! I actually looked it up and peaches are in the same genus as cherries and apricots, and apricots are orange :P not that naruto would know this but sakura would be like me and probs research it lol). Sakura expresses concern that Konohana will feel jealous or excluded if he doesn’t give her a nickname too, and he forlornly / guiltily (at having not even thought of that) approaches Konohana with this. She’s rather young to be considering this so thoughtfully -- maybe 4 or 5 -- but her answer never changes as she grows up (though the vocabulary / phrasing she uses might mature…. But I say might, haha); “don’t change me; I love my name!! it is like our home so it means I will become hokage like daddy!! and it is like flowers like mommy’s flower so it means people are happy and have a party when i show up!!” (she’s talking about hanami) naruto immediately bursts into tears bc holy shit he just loves this kid so!! much!!! ( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ _ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) sakura’s doing better at keeping it together, tho not by much, lmao

Some months into the nickname of Momo-chan settling in, there’s a morning where it’s brought into question again. while sakura and naruto are folding laundry, the twins rush in from the backyard to show them something they’re excited about in their grubby cupped hands. “Look! loo~oook! polli-wolly-wogs!!” (tadpoles-- i have great affection for this term for them bc mei in the english dub of totoro calls them that, and totoro is a defining touchstone of my young childhood) naruto intones, “eeehhhh? How cool, konohana-chan!! Momo-chan! Maybe uncle Gamakichi knows ‘em, huh?” and they laugh and stick their tongues out at him, “he’s not our uncle! He’s a toad!” yet they’re making ribbiting sounds as they run off to return the tadpoles. Sakuya trips and just narrowly regains her footing at the last moment to prevent toppling herself and the tadpoles across the floor. “careful, momo-chan!” Naruto offers in a loud voice, but calmly-- he holds back his concern, as he’s learned that a lot of the time kids decide whether they should cry based on their parents’ reactions, namely whether they freak out a lot, and he’s done a lot of freaking out, and is trying something new now, pfft. He watches her right herself, check on the tadpoles in her hands, nod once firmly and give a determined “mm!” in acknowledgement of his caution, and they scamper off. 

So then Sakura asks, with some humor in her voice even tho she’s going for annoyed: “naruto, why’d we even name her sakuya if you’re just gonna keep calling her momo-chan?” “aahh, sakura-chan. She’s just little momo to her daddy. Out in the real world she’ll be called the name inspired by her mind-blowing mom.” the tinge of pink on her cheeks does not get past him and the side of his mouth starts to twitch into a smirk. He roguishly continues with, “I thought about making you the one I address with a nickname instead, but all the ones I could come up with aren’t appropriate in front of the kids” she tries to look aghast but she’s fighting her mutinous mouth starting to veer into a big smile, and to distract his gaze away from this very visible and losing battle across her face, she twists a towel and snaps it at him. They play fight until they fall onto the bed, halfway into the now half-undone laundry. They rest a little bit, soaking in the calm moment, his upper body on top of her lower body-- resting his head on her stomach and holding her around her waist. Her eyes are closed and she’s absent-mindedly running her fingers through his hair. Then he softly voices, “little peach... she’s our colors, Sakura.” and she does vividly remember the sunset he’s recalling. She answers with his words from years ago: “Yeah. our colors.”

(god i’m really driving home this rainbow sherbet ninja family theme aren’t i???? Don’t care!!!! I love it!!! They are my faves they deserve everything I have to offer!!!!)

THE END.

(....except not bc..... there’s...... uh..... 15860 words left...... yeah those figures..... weren’t hyperbolic, i am actually that much of a dork)

[nobravery]

The Neighbor — Part. III

a Shawn Mendes Series.

A/N: Here’s Part. III, holy shit it took me forever to write this. Thanks for reading. And feedback always makes me happy. :))) Also tagging @babyshawwn bc of caramels. « PART ONE « PART TWO WordCount: 5,947

In the afternoon, y/n was on her way to go to the library. Alone, because Em wanted to go shopping a bit. The young girl came out of her building and walked. As she was still walking in another street — she wasn’t too far from her destination —, she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. Em Found some interesting books in town. Shall I buy them? She was still walking when she read the text message. She was about to reply to her friend, when she bumped into someone. « Oh, sorry, she said mechanically. – It’s okay, they affirmed. » But when she raised her head and saw the person’s face, she startled straight away, her heart dropped to her stomach and her expression changed, within two seconds then, turning into surprise and mostly anger. « Chris?! » Actually he hadn’t physically changed. He was still tall, had still brown hair and eyes. Eyes who were staring at her. « y/n?? » He looked as surprised as her obviously. « What… what are you doing there? he carried on. » She clenched her teeth strongly, trying not to hit him. « What are you doing there?! she asked him violently, pointing her forefinger on his chest, pressing it strong enough against him and making sure to hurt him. » He smirked, making her clench her jaw even more. « I’m on vacation, he simply declared. Don’t tell me that you’d already forgotten that my mom was Canadian? She’s actually from Toronto, my family and myself are spending the week there. Happy Canada Day also! » y/n didn’t reply and continued to clench the teeth. « So what about you? Chris questioned. » She stared at him, with angry eyes. « I currently live there, she replied as calmly as possible. – What, you? Are you kidding me? You, there? » Chris let out a guffaw, whereas y/n was beginning to see red. « Not at all, precisely I escaped a freak who broke my heart into pieces. » She was looking askance at him. « I’m with Emily. In her aunt’s condo. Very nice place. – Well; and do you enjoy the city? » She forced a smile, struggling to contain herself. « I loved it, until I see you. – Obviously– » Chris didn’t have the time to finish his sentence, because this time y/n couldn’t contain herself longer and she exploded with rage. It was too much. She couldn’t stand his presence anymore. « Seriously, I can’t believe– I can’t believe that you fucking asshole are just standing in front of me! You’re supposed not to exist for me a-ny-more! FUCK Chris! I can’t believe… Talking to me as if nothing had happened! – Listen, y/n, I'm– – I’m just thinking now, we’d never had a real conversation about this! It was obviously better like that but let me– – y/n, there are actually people looking at us– – I DON’T GIVE A SHIT! she shouted at him. I DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT PEOPLE AROUND! I’m only there for a FUCKING YEAR! And you NEED to KNOW how I FELT when I FOUND OUT! » She paused, her lungs looking for oxygen. « I’d been crying and depressed for MONTHS, Christopher! Do you KNOW?? Do you REALIZE how I was THAT hurt??? How could you– I still don’t get it! With her on top of that!!! I LOVED you, I was fucking IN LOVE with you, and you SCREWED UP! You know what? YOU’RE SUCH A DICK. And I DON’T talk to DICKHEADS. Now, I’ll do as if I’d never seen you again! I’ve no more time to lose with you! I’ve other things to do right now! You don’t exist anymore! I’m going to leave before I hit you! Now take a walk! CLEAR OFF! I hope you’re happy with her! Have a nice life!! And don’t forget to say hello to your BITCH for me!!! » With that, she walked away, pushing him with her shoulder. Now she was striding off, wanting to be as far from him as possible. She was holding back her tears, even if it was something very hard. We could think that he had followed her. She thought Chris had followed her, although they hadn’t seen each other again since they had split up. As she walked, she could feel the wind caressing her face. But it actually prevented her from holding her tears back. So she stopped at the corner of the street, to breathe a little and to gather her wits.

SHAWN’S POV I had seen everything from across the street. Or almost everything. I was on my way back to home — I’d spent some time with friends — when I saw y/n with a guy. She seemed to know him, whereas she’d told me Emily and her knew nobody there. Someone from Uni maybe? No, probably not, almost impossible, they haven’t gone to classes yet. Or someone she met at the library? More possible, given that she’d told me that she had met Emily at this place. But whoever she was talking to, she didn’t seem to enjoy his company. I hadn’t heard what they were saying to each other — because obviously I was too far —, but she was definitely shouting at him, gesticulating, and looked very anger and mad. I’d never seen her like this before. I’d stopped when I’d recognized her. She had stopped in the street. I was wondering why even if I had some idea. Without thinking, I walked back, going up to her. As more and more I was coming closer, I slowed down, not wanting to scare her. She was still there. She hadn’t move. « y/n? » She started in surprise. « Oh, Shawn. That’s you. – Yah, of course, who else do you think it might be? » She was crying. No. No. No. « Him, she sobbed, a few seconds after. – Who? » She didn’t answer. She was trying not to cry even more, repressing all her sadness. I’d never seen her like this either before. She didn’t deserve that. She only deserved to r happy, smiling and cheerful as I usually knew her. Doesn’t besides everyone deserve to be happy? « I just… I just want to go home, she declared, choking her sobs. » I nodded and so we made our way back to our building. As she unlocked her door, I told her that I was just next door if she needed me or something else. « No please, just stay. Stay with me a bit. » I furrowed my brows a little, hesitant. « You’re su– – Please Shawn, she insisted. Come in. » I accepted at the end, but I still thought that she really needed to be alone and above all to calm down. I glanced around the living-room. The apartment looked pretty cosy. Not excessively furnished, so there was quite a few space. « Wanna drink something? she offered me but I declined kindly. » She then invited me to sit on the grey couch with her and I must admit that I didn’t know what to do exactly. I let her catch her breath, before trying to hold a conversation. « Is this okay? » She didn’t speak; she contented herself with nodding. « Who was this guy? Did he hurt you? I continued. » She shrugged her shoulders. It really broke my heart to see her that sad. She seemed hurt. A few seconds later, she placed her hands on her thighs, and she finally managed to speak. « It was him. – Who? – Him. Chris. My ex. » I frowned, confused. What was he doing there? « What? How come…? » She shrugged one more time, and she sighed. « I’m sorry if I– – No, she cut me off immediately. It’s not your fault. » I glanced at her hands, those little ones. Slowly I placed my right hand on her left one, holding it. I stroked the back of her hand, gently. « Hey. I’m here for you if you need to talk. Okay? » She approved, and she smiled at me weakly. Shortly afterwards she started talking, explaining to me her why her ex was in the city and her altercation with him. I let her talk, she really needed to get it off her chest. I was obviously hurt inside. Seeing her in this state hurt me. I just wanted her happy. I wanted to makeher happy. « It’s gonna be alright, eh? I questioned. – Yes, I’m trying to forget for the moment. » Then I asked her if she’d be at my home tonight for Canada Day and she confirmed. « I need to be tipsy. » This made me laugh then I smiled just to reassure her, and she did the same. Yes, finally. Her smile was brighter than the sun and I literally loved it. It made me happy. Now we were staring at each other deep in the eyes. I got lost in hers. They were absolutely splendid. She was. I really liked her. It’s crazy, how a person in particular could make you happy even if you knew them for less than a week. How a simple smile or a look could illuminate your day. How you could feel just because they’re just next to you. This feeling of well-being just because of someone. That was the way I felt.

BACK TO OMNISCIENT POV Shawn had just left y/n’s apartment and so she locked the door behind him. One more time, she had spent an amazing moment at his side. This boy was incredible. Both have known each other for only a few days and she already knew she could trust him. He was always here for her, she’ll never thank him enough for that. She hadn’t gone to the library as she had planned. So she made her way to her bedroom and took a book on a shelf, settled on her bed and she ended up by reading. An hour later, Emily was finally back to the condo, still ignoring that her best friend hadn’t actually reached the library and had passed Chris instead. « y/n? You’re home? » The latter joined her flatmate in the living-room. « You’re already back? Emily carried on. » Her friend disapproved, close to tears again. Emily noticed it right away and asked what happened, hugging her. « Chris is there. » Em faced her, put her hand on her own mouth, with widen eyes and a what? expression, and asked for explanations, leading her to the couch. For the second time in an hour, y/n told her everything about her meeting with her ex. « I can’t believe he’s here! the newcomer yelled, losing her temper, pacing up and down. It’s a real curse! I hope you gave him a rocket the way he deserves!!! This son of bitch! » The other nodded in agreement. Her friend tried to calm down. « I hope I’ll never pass him! Or I’ll hit him without hesitation! » y/n smiled sadly. « I passed Shawn as well, she replied then. – Ah uh? Again? Really, you attract both of them or? » She shrugged her shoulders, ignoring the answer to the question. « But he was here for me. He took me home. We talked. It was really good. – He’s always here, it’s incredible. – I know. He’s so… human… » Em noticed her sidekick’s expression on her face while she was talking about Shawn. She could almost see that there was a sparkle in her eye. Her eyes were talking contrary to her lips. « Hm… You like him, right? » y/n turned to look at her, frowning a little at her mate. « No. » The other exploded with laugh. « You liar. But never mind, I know you’ll never admit it. Enjoy. I’m glad you both are close and that you get on very well. » With that, she joined her room, leaving y/n on the living-room. The latter waited for Em to be completely in her room, before going up to the balcony. She needed some fresh air at the moment. Once she was there, she looked away, facing the usual view. She didn’t take her eyes off the buildings, until she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. She grabbed it, and saw, among the notifications from her social media, the text message she just received. Shawn Turn your head! She complied, turning her head to the right. Giving her a wave, from far, he was on his balcony as well, but for how long? He looked as if he was watching over her, and so she felt touched. She had a smile on her face, and he smiled back at her. They were admiring each other, even from far, more than the wonderful view in front of them.

The evening had come rapidly and both Emily and y/n were preparing themselves for going to their neighbor’s place. They knew that there were some of Shawn’s friends who were already arrived, because they had heard them coming. Emily couldn’t wait anymore to have fun and meet some other people, interacting with them, whilst her best friend was rather in the mood to think about alcohol this time. Ten minutes later, they were eventually ready and knocked at Shawn’s door. The latter opened it to them, and he smiled widely as soon as he saw his two young neighbors. « Hey! he greeted joyfully. Hi Em! Hello again, y/n. Come in! » They entered his apartment, where there were already a few people inside. « Look what we brought for the night, y/n said to him, holding a small box out to him. I hope you guys like these. » So he took it, opened it and his face broke into a grin when he realized what it was. « Caramels! he exclaimed. Thank you! You shouldn’t have! – Yah I know this might be weird, but Em and myself are suckers for those candies, there are probably the best thing that the world know, and it makes me feel better to be honest. » He glanced at her, his gaze meeting hers. « Is it okay? – Yes. I feel better, thanks for asking. » Then y/n couldn’t help staring at his shirt. His red shirt. « It's… original, she said. I love it. Good choice. » He chuckled, before thanking her. Then he introduced his two neighbors to his friends, who seemed very nice in their eyes. « Happy Canada Day, y'all! Emily cried. And nice to meet each one of you. » They were having fun right now, and everyone seemed to like the caramels Em and y/n had brought. They had gone on the terrace, taking pictures and contemplating the luminous CN Tower in front of them. They were just proud to be Canadian and to belong to this country, this night so was the opportunity to celebrate the day devoted to it. Hours later, they’d come back into the apartment, music playing, still eating and drinking and dancing and more. As y/n was chewing her umpteenth caramel, beer in the hand, her flatmate, with her beer too, came to her. « All’s right? » She just nodded by way of answer. Several feet away, Shawn was staring at them while drinking some beer and he winked his eye at them. As she noticed it, y/n moved her head from left to right out of despair, with a weak smile. Next Emily left her, and the moment she did, he came closer to y/n. « Having fun? he asked her, standing next to her. » She approved with a hum, glancing at her bestie who apparently had a good talk with one of Shawn’s friends. « ‘think she’ll be on the floor before the end of the night, she commented. As usual. » The others were coming back to the huge terrace, Emily including, so both Shawn and y/n followed, going past the caramels scattered on the table. « Did you taste them? she asked him, pointing the candies with her chin. – Well, don’t hate me, but actually not yet. » She pouted, and stopped him. « ‘kay, you will, in front of me. Wait. » She walked a few steps, reaching the table and grabbed two caramels. She removed the wrapper from one, and took the candy between her thumb and her forefinger, placing it just in front of the boy’s eyes. « Open your mouth now, she demanded. » He complied without hesitation. So she brought the caramel closer to his mouth, and he took it between his teeth, and she removed her fingers. « You’re such a greedy pig, she said as he chewed. » He shrugged his shoulders, still chewing. « That’s fucking good! he declared. » A smile played across y/n’s lips, so he grinned back at her, getting himself lost in her eyes. These hazel eyes he had already seen numerous times. Then she went back on the terrace with the others when she joined her best friend, who was still deep in conversation with the same guy. So she joined the talk as well, while glancing over at the skyline just in front of them. Much later, hours after, everyone was on their way back to their home. It was such a good night and the two flatmates really had fun. The girls were going up to their respective rooms, when y/n stopped, sitting on her bed. « Fuck, we forgot the box. » Emily got changed, and was now already lying on her bed, whilst her friend met her in her room. « Dude, we forgot the box. – Hm? It’s just a box, y/n, the other retorted. We don’t care, you’ll take it tomorrow. It’s very late now. Let’s sleep, I’m tired. – Yah you should sleep. You’ve drunk quite a lot of beer and stuff. » Em saw her bestie leaving, but not to her bedroom. « Where are you going? – Getting back the box now, because I know I’ll forget otherwise, y/n justified. This is my box furthermore. I’m coming back, it’s just next door, I’ll be prompt. Good night, Em. » But the latter didn’t reply, consequently y/n assumed that she just fell asleep right away. She then passed her doorstep, locking the door behind her, reached her neighbor’s one and knocked. He answered the door about ten seconds after, and he didn’t look surprise to see her. « I was pretty sure you’d come back, he declared. » He invited her to come in. He grabbed the small box which was still on the table, and held it out to her. « Thank you. I hope you kept the last caramels. » He just sent a little smile to her by way of answer, and nodded in agreement. « It was an amazing party and your friends are nice. Thank you again. – Glad you enjoyed. » Then the young girl noticed that he wasn’t about to go to bed. « You’re cleaning, right? Want me to help? – No, thanks, no need. You should sleep, it’s late. » But she refused categorically. « As well you should. It will go faster together. – It won’t be so long, so you should let me do it. But if you insist. » With that, y/n helped him to clean up the living-room, putting the stuff away and putting the room and the terrace in order. Nearly fifteen minutes later, everything was finally clean. It was as if nothing had happened there. Shawn and y/n were facing each other now, on the large terrace that they had cleaned at last, being about to say goodbye. « Thanks for your help, y/n. – No problem. Just a small gesture because you were here for me this afternoon. » The young boy smirked, looking down and remembered the day. « Ah yes. I find this natural though. » Then he raised his head, allowing him to look at his neighbor in the eyes. He honestly could stare at her like that for hours. He would never grow tired of admiring her this way. Same for her; she was getting lost in his eyes. These eyes which were staring at hers. He showed a real baby face this time. This same time, he couldn’t wait anymore. He couldn’t contain himself anymore. Slowly, his face came closer to hers, him gazing at her lips quickly. He became too close. He had never been so close to her face before this moment. Step by step, he could see each detail, each feature of her soft skin, even through the night. Then it finally happened. His lips were moving with hers. They were really soft and tasted like alcohol obviously, due to tonight. Still slowly, he placed his hands on her flushed cheeks, then went down and found her forearms as she grabbed his shoulders. A few seconds after, he broke the contact and stared at her deep in the eyes again. « Fuck, I’ve been waiting for this, he whispered as their noses were brushing. » He smiled against her pinky lips. « I thought I was the only one who felt this way, she confessed. » With these words, he sent a little smile to her; he didn’t hesitate anymore and crashed his lips against hers one more time. Their tongues were dancing together for awhile, still slowly. Then Shawn’s hand found y/n’s nape and he stroked it gently. She broke the kiss, and looked down, breathing. He placed his forehead on hers, while their noses were still brushing. « I ought to go now, she murmured. » Shawn shook his head by way of disapproval. « No, no, stay. – But yourself you just said earli– – Fuck what I said, he cut her off, forget that. I just want to be with you, I need you. » She could feel his breath against her lips. Forehead against forehead, noses brushing, he was still stroking her cheek delicately; she closed her eyes, collecting her wits. « Don’t leave. Stay with me, he begged her. Please. » She was hesitant about this. But she finally gave in and contented herself with kissing him again. Next she led him inside his own flat before he shut the picture window behind them. He gently pressed her against the wall, starting kissing her neck as she threw her head back a little. As he moved to the other side of her neck then to her collarbones, she found the hem of his shirt to pull him closer. He kissed her lips again, lingering on them, and right away his large hands reached her hips, gliding under her sleeveless tshirt. It was tickling her, but she really loved his touch. Likewise, her hands pushed his shirt up a bit, and they glided on his back. He whimpered weakly against her mouth and then he broke the kiss, both catching their breath. Next y/n planted a soft kiss on his lips, her hands still underneath his shirt. « We should sleep, it’s late, she reminded him. » He shrugged his shoulders, and he brushed his lips against hers. « I don’t want to, he said, pulling her closer. » She didn’t insist; she just closed the tiny gap between their mouths again. Shawn removed his hands from her hips, making her growl a little. And then he started unbuttoning his shirt, exposing his chest to her, and this sent a chill down y/n’s spine. She laid her hands on it; she could feel his heartbeat. His heart was beating wildly. Then they moved to his shoulders, and let the red shirt fall on the floor. Next they trailed down his back, gently rubbing it, as the two neighbors continued to kiss one another. Shawn kept rubbing her naked sides; then he grabbed the hem of her top and within three seconds he pushed it up and removed it, dropping it on the floor. Straight in he kissed her bare shoulders, her collarbones, the crook of her neck. « Come with me, he whispered and she understood as soon as he spoke. » He gripped her thighs firmly, enabling her to wrap her legs around his waist and she ran her fingers through his brown curls. He carried her to his bedroom, still planting some kisses on her face. When they finally reached the room, he shut the door behind them with the aid of his foot.

Y/N’S POV I just woke up. My vision was blurry, therefore I rubbed my eyes to enable me to see properly. I could see the daylight whose beams were going through the window. Actually I couldn’t move a lot right now. Indeed, I was stuck in Shawn’s arms which were wrapping me tightly. He was still asleep, resting next to me, and I could hear some weak snores and sleepy hum slipping out of his mouth. His nose was brushing the crook of my neck, and so I could feel his breath against my skin. I could nevertheless grab my phone which was put down on the nightstand. I had a look at the time, raising my head a bit, and I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head. Half past ten. « What, already? I murmured to myself. » I then noticed three text messages. From Em. Em Where are you? Em Ah no. I know where you are. 🤔 Em Hope you slept well tho. Count on you to tell me… So obviously she knew what I did. What we did. I rolled my eyes and I didn’t answer the messages, I just put my phone down again, and I rested my head on the pillow. At the moment, I felt Shawn moving, what freed me — finally — from his embrace. « Hmmm… he mumbled in his sleep as he freed me totally, and he was facing away from me now. » I lay on my back and I glanced at him. Or rather at his bare back. As muscular as it might be. I came closer to him, wrapping my left arm around his naked chest. I brushed my nose against his back, and I planted like two or three kisses on it including one for his birthmark on his shoulder. Since he was still sleeping, I closed my eyes again, inhaling his scent deeply. And then I remembered this night. Ours. His body against mine, underneath the fine sheets, kissing every inch of me. I could still hear the moans and the gasps that had rung out in the room. I could still feel his warm exhalations brushing my skin. I still had chills. Incredible. I opened my eyes when I felt Shawn moving and turning around, therefore I removed my arm from him. He was now lying on his stomach, facing me, and I stared at him lovingly. He was so cute while sleeping. He looked so angelic. « Hmmm… he grumbled again. What the fuck—What time is it? he asked with his hoarse morning voice, eyes still closed. – Ten forty-six, I replied. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up. And I should already be at my home to be honest. » Shawn rubbed his eyes, opening them step by step, and cleared his throat. Then he gazed at me. « Relax, y/n, it’s Sunday right now! C'mon. » I came closer to him. My nose touched lightly his, and he planted a sweet kiss on my lips while holding me in his arms. « Thank you, he breathed. – For what? » He chuckled and smirked, as if my question was stupid — and obviously it was — and that I should have known the answer. « For… for staying. » I just smiled weakly at him. He maybe had just woken up but he was already looking at me with puppy eyes. Fuck. My hand found his scalp and so I ran my fingers through his rumpled hair. He closed his eyes again, enjoying the touch, and I kissed his forehead. He purred like a little kitten and this was probably one of the cutest things I’d ever seen. Then I stopped and he grunted, pouting. « I should go, if Emily ever came and knocked at your door because she knows I’m here– – No, she wouldn't…? – Oh yes she would. Obviously you don’t know her as much as I do. » Shawn hummed next to me, letting his face sinking into his pillow. I got on his back to lay on it, burying my face into the crook of his neck. I then let my fingers wandering his curls. He turned his head towards me, grinning a little and he kissed the tip of my nose. « You really have to go now? Don’t you want to eat something before? » I shook my head no. « I’m not very hungry. I’ll find something at my place quickly. Thank you though. » I managed though to fetch my bra which was still on the floor, and to sit down on the edge of the bed, to put it on. Then I looked around for my shirt, but I remembered that it was still in the living-room, and I sighed loudly at the thought. « Is there a prob? inquired Shawn behind me; I glanced over at him and he was now lying on his back. – No. Just my top which is actually on the other side. » He couldn’t help laughing and smirking after I said this. « Don’t mock at me, you dork, that’s your own fault. » He sat up straight away on the bed and opened his mouth in a o with amazement, just to protest. « It’s not! he denied, about to laugh nevertheless. » I turned my head to look at him and I smirked back. He got closer to me, and he removed my hair from my nape and kissed it, nuzzling my neck gently. Then he took my hand and he intertwined our fingers. « When will I see you again? – That is to say? » He sighed weakly, still stroking my knuckles. « I would really appreciate another date with you, before going back on tour, he whispered in my ear. » I grinned at his speech, but my smile faded when I realized that it will be certainly long. « When will you be back? I asked. – In one month. But just temporarily. » I shook my head a little. « I’ll miss you, I murmured. I’ll miss my favourite neighbor. – So I’m just a neighbor to you? he said to me, holding me tightly, but he perfectly knew I was joking. – That’s not what you are? – In addition, yeah. » I smiled again, looking at our hands. « I’ll miss you too, y/n, he confessed. » We’d been staying like this for almost three good minutes, before I decided to finally get up even if it was hard. I found my pants on the floor and I put it on. Shawn followed me then. When we reached the living-room, I immediately saw my shirt that was still on the floor. I quickened my pace to take it, and I finally slipped it on me. Likewise Shawn put his hands on his red shirt again. Then he came to me, buttoning it. I took over and I buttoned the two last bottom buttons. « So, he started to say, taking my hands in his, what are your plans for today? – Hmmm, I thought, I have to tidy my room and reorganize it, watching some stupid movies with Em while eating popcorn… and I guess I must listen to my neighbor’s songs because apparently it’s worth it. » He smirked as I mentioned him, looking at the ground; then lifted his head towards me. « Good, you’ll love it! » I nodded in agreement. « What about you? I asked back. – Nothing much, just seeing some friends and probably continuing to settle my flat. And writing some lyrics of course. » I smiled at the idea. Next he moved our hands closer to his mouth and he kissed mine. « See you later? » I answered with a nod again, and he freed my hands. I was going up to the door when he called my name. I turned around straight in. « Don’t forget your box. » He held it out to me, and I took it. « Thank you. See ya later! I’m just next door, I reminded him just in case. » He did nothing but approving. With that, I opened the door; Shawn followed me as I passed his doorstep. I sent a last smile to him before he shut the door behind me.

A/N: Tagging @illumendes because… because. Also I haven’t reread the whole so lmk if there are mistakes, typos and stuff. I’m sorry lmao. Once again, feedback is always appreciated but in any case, thanks for reading! ‹333