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[praxcrown5]

The Nuts and Bolts of Car Reproduction: A Headcanon Hypothesis for the Vehicles from the Disney/Pixar Cars Universe

Today's essay will be explore my headcanon ideas for vehicle reproduction in the Cars universe.

Disclaimer: Tactful descriptions (and depictions) of vehicle reproduction. If this ain't your cup-o-tea...you've been warned.

This is a long post. Might wanna get comfy and grab a coffee or sommat. If you read to the end, there's some...artwork. X3

Auxiliary Disclaimer: The following headcanon is only for sapient vehicles. Non-sapient creatures like tractors, balsa thrushes, deere, cranes, coal scoopers, etc may actually be capable of reproduction without factory involvement. I might do a separate post for them at some point. For now, I just want to be clear that when I use the word "vehicle" I mean sapient vehicles only. I also headcanon that reproduction works a little differently for very large vehicles (passenger planes, war planes, ships, aircraft carriers, etc...).

Ok...how how do vehicles do the deed?

In my headcanon, vehicles are created in factories. The factories, themselves, are small city-states with their own cultures and populations of factory "born" and raised vehicles called "angels" whom serve "The Manufacturers" as part of "The Plan." Despite possessing technology that is thousands of years more advanced than anything in the outside world, the Manufacturers cannot create what they call the "flame of sapience." For this, they are dependent on their creations.

Vehicles achieve physical and reproductive maturity at age eleven, after their third, and final, growth spurt. Along with reaching adult size, and all the accompanying changes to the engine block and internal systems, they develop reproductive hardware. The bulk of the hardware is stored internally, and protected by a panel of sheet metal (coupling panel) which is separate from the surrounding body metals. It is usually located near the rear fender on the side of the body opposite the fuel filler inlet in cars and trucks. In larger vehicles like trains, planes, boats or helicopters the location of the coupling panel varies between makes and models...but it's usually located as far away from fuel storage as possible.

In visible light, the seams are so thin as to render the panel invisible. Most vehicles, however, can see farther into the ultraviolet end of the spectrum due to specialized structures within and behind the eye screen. A car checking out a potential partner would see the panel as a vivid purple (male) or yellow (female) square surrounded by magenta markings resembling ancient runes.

Fun (off-topic) fact: Vehicles also have manufacturer markings on their body metals that are only visible in UV light. A car can look at another car and tell right away what factory they were created by. There are model markings as well, but most people don't know how to "read" them.

Intimate encounters are known as "hookups," colloquially. Other terms that have graced local lexicons include (but aren't limited to) knocking fenders, cableing, parallel parking, long idling, carving your name into the steel fortress, tapping the socket, bringing the van to the carport, getting to know one's model, driving around town, packing the trunk, nosing around the garage, etc...

Most civilian-class vehicles are compatible with one another. For example, a car like Sally could easily hook up with most small planes and helicopters...but attempting the deed with anyone larger won't work due to hardware compatibility issues. Boeing and HII have been manufacturing step-down systems since the late 90's...but it's horrendously expensive, and still caters mostly to carrier-class vehicles.

Once two vehicles are committed to the idea of physical intimacy, they retreat to a place that's (usually) private and secure, the later being especially important as the post hookup, nuptial repose period can render them unresponsive for up to scoptersix hours.

Most vehicles adopt a V position when doing the deed so that they can see their partner's face, keep their mouths relevant, and have plenty of space to maneuver their hardware comfortably. Most also engage in various forms of foreplay, and advancing technology has provided additional options for adventurous couples.

The coupling interface, located behind the coupling panel, consists of two parts: The coupling array and the siring array (also called the auxiliary array). While the coupling array is used during every hookup, the siring array is only used if a couple is actively attempting to create a child.

The coupling array is identical for both males and females and consists of four, prehensile cables (coupling cables) located near the base of the interface. Each cable has a contoured, metal tip that rests in a depression on the back wall of the compartment. The body of the cable, all 20' of it, is stored internally. The cables lack fancy names and are simply numbered 1-4, with coupling cable #1 being the most anterior and #4 being the most posterior. Above each cable is a socket called a coupling jack. Like the cables, they are numbered, with coupling jack #1 being located directly above coupling cable #1, #2 above #2, etc...

An intimate encounter happens when two vehicles connect their coupling cables to another vehicle's coupling jacks, and vice versa.

While this sounds simple and straightforward, there's a lot of finesse that goes into the act, especially in regards to timing. The most intense pleasure comes from simultaneous insertion of a cable into an opposing jack...but the engine is necessary, too. Revving it at just the right moment, post insertion, generates a powerful surge of electrical energy which not only helps intensify and prolong the sensation, but also acts to charge special, battery-like bio-tech organs called "surgers." The penultimate moment of the hookup comes when the surgers reach full capacity. Revving ones engine or connecting another cable after this point will cause the surgers to discharge their accumulated charges into the combined neuro-electrical systems of the pair to avoid over exertion. Couples that manage to time their last engine revs/cable insertion with the pending discharge experience pleasure that's described as "out of this world," and they pass out as their sensory and electrical systems overload. During the nuptial repose, a specialized network of HV cables and cells collect and direct this excess energy into the frame so that it can be safely discharged into the ground through the tires.

At anytime during the hookup, a couple may experience full-sensory visions, called "nuptial dreams." In some cases it can feel as a vehicle has been transported into their partner's body, experiencing their memories of an event as vividly as if they had been there, themselves. Other times, people claim to have been transported to a parallel universe where they existed as strange, bi-pedal, organic creatures...

Use of the auxiliary array is necessary if a couple wishes to sire a child. This hardware takes on the appearance of a region of pins (male) and sockets (female) above the coupling array. In males, the pins mark the tip of an extendable HV cable called the "siring cable." Instead of discharging the excess electrical energy from the hookup into the ground, the siring cable redirects it into the female's body via the auxiliary jack. The auxiliary jack is connected to a bio-tech organ called the plasma condenser module. As its name suggests, it condenses the redirected electrical energy into a ball of plasma called a "flame," which is then transferred to a second, smaller organ, the plasma chamber, for storage.

Somehow, the factory network is alerted to the presence of the flame. How they know is subject of much debate. Some specialists hypothesize that the plasma chamber, itself, doubles as a transmitter...emitting electromagnetic waves on frequencies that can't be intercepted by modern technology. Still others believe that the factories can watch and listen to everything that goes on in the world through the eyes and windows of their vehicle creations.

Regardless, after an hour or so, the female will start receiving internal notifications telling her where to take the flame. One's make and model seem to have no bearing on the factory that will ultimately create the body for one's child. Doc, for example, was manufactured at the Hudson factory in Detroit despite his sire being an Oldsmobile and his dam, a Cadillac.

When the female reaches the factory, an angel trained in reproductive hardware temporarily removes the plasma chamber and condenser module so that their doctors can graft the flame to a newly manufactured body and "nurture it to functionality," a process that can take anywhere between 3 and five days, longer if the flame splits en route, resulting in twins. If she can't get to the factory right away, she can maintain the flame for about three weeks by doubling her food intake. Eventually, the energy is reabsorbed by the body and she'll have to repeat the siring process if she wants another chance.

Since this is already a lengthy document, I'll cover growth and development in a future post. In the meantime, enjoy some car sm*t. Pic depicts my two OCs, Sam and Annette (Annette being Doc's dam), in the midst of a siring attempt.