#only to turn into lukaku in every other instance

[meowmeowmessi]

yeah this just confirms my theory that mbappe gets a hard on when he's playing against messi specifically

[torentialtribute]

Special case? Manchester United’s Paul Pogba needs to be special to merit that

Paul Pogba is looking for a new challenge. No, he won't try to justify the £ 89million Manchester United spent on him three years ago. He wants a challenge, not mission impossible.

Pogba's challenge echoes that of many players, not least Romelu Lukaku . It is the challenge of screwing more money out of another elite club, the challenge of racking up higher wages and a sizeable signing-on fee, the challenge of a lighter workload in an easier league.

He doesn't fancy trying to restore Manchester United to the pinnacle of English football next season, or even the top four. He's not up for balancing Thursday night fixtures in Europe with domestic consistency, or helping shape a new team under Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, maybe even as captain.

Paul Pogba isn't interested in trying to justify the £ 89million Manchester United spent on him

CARABAO CUP DRAW

The draw for the first round of the Carabao Cup will take place at Morrison's supermarket in Colindale, with Ray Parlor, on Thursday. Of course it will.

These are all significant challenges, but Pogba isn't interested.

And he has already pulled off one impressive challenge. That of fooling some of the people, most of the time.

Manchester United chief executive Ed Woodward, for instance. If, as is believed, United are willing to increase Pogba's wage to close on £ 500,000 a week, deception is one challenge he has mastered.

United came sixth last season, won nothing again, tailed off at a crucial stage and ended in uproar, losing at home to relegated Cardiff City. How can one of the leading protagonists in an underwhelming campaign merit an annual pay rise of £ 10m?

If United were thinking straight, Pogba's assessment of his form would be considered delusional. They would call in the shrinks, not the accountants.

"After everything that happened, with my season being my best season as well, I think it could be a good time to have a new challenge somewhere else," Pogba told reporters in Japan.

The 26-year-old French midfielder's problem has long leg a belief in his own publicity

Best season? Well, given his form in previous campaigns, that really isn't saying much. It is like being considered the most appealing candidate in the battle for the Conservative leadership, or the most intellectually rigorous contestant on Love Island.

Fishing in a pretty murky pool.

Pogba has been nothing like an £ 89m player since coming to Manchester United. And now, having a glimpse of potential shown, he wants to leave?

Pogba's problem has long been a belief in his own publicity. His fellow professionals put him in the PFA team of the season last year, but that was as much an accident or timing as an endorsement. The votes are cast early, at a stage in the season coinciding with Pogba's peak during Solskjaer's honeymoon period.

Had the voting duties place after the campaign ended, it is unlikely he would have made the starting XI. He certainly wouldn't have featured in the two proper teams of the English season – Manchester City and Liverpool.

Pogba was inside the Premier League's top 10 for goals (13) and assists (nine) – yet more than half of his goals were penalties and his passing success rate did not place him among the Premier League's top 80, which is unhelpful for the creative midfield force at one of the best clubs in the country. So numbers do not tell the whole story.

Pogba played the most wonderful long pass to set up the goal that beat Tottenham at Wembley – yet in too many of United's other matches against elite opposition he was ineffectual and his work rate was often poor. Pogba wants to be a special case, but then he needs to be special.

More than half of Pogba's goals this season were penalties – numbers don The tell the whole story

All that makes him stand out in the wider context is his ability to create trouble for Manchester United. This latest controversy has blown up a personal promotional trip east for adidas. United may well ask what's in it for them.

If reports of the asking price are accurate, £ 133m. Yet there is little chance Real Madrid will pay that, or much like it. More plausible is that Pogba will become a gigantic plague this summer, in an attempt to try United's patience and leave at a reduced rate.

This is a familiar strategy, one that often works. If United puts an improved offer before Pogba and he turns them down, they will know what the closed season holds. The challenge will be all theirs, preventing Pogba capping his 'best' campaign by utterly derailing theirs.

FURY'S CIRCUS DID NOT RING TRUE

In the bubble that exists around major sports, it is possible to imagine you are invested in something huge. Boxing, in particular, is brilliant at that. The hoopla around Tyson Fury's fight in Las Vegas was captivating and promoters are masters at making their event seem like the center of the universe. Yet in Monterey – which can be reached from Vegas in little more time than it takes to fly London to Manchester – we couldn't find it anywhere.

Even the sports bar voted the city's best 16 years in a row offered nothing. So, reduced to viewing on a mobile phone, perhaps some of the nuances or Fury's performance passed us by. Yet, these eyes, and those of the others watching, saw a boxer who moved very well and did his job swiftly and efficiently and an opponent who was out of his class and at times little more than a straight man.

And while Fury's showmanship is not in doubt, any show worth seeing – certainly any show worth paying for – usually lasts longer than five minutes, unless Usain Bolt is involved. If he fights Deontay Wilder, it's interesting. Until then, there's better on the other channels.

The hoopla around Tyson Fury's fight against Tom Schwarz in Las Vegas was captivating

DUMB AND DUMBER FROM UEFA

Not long ago, the lunacy of a third-place play-off at the UEFA Nations League finals was highlighted in this column. Not everyone felt negatively about it. The players earn lots of money, they can be worked until they throat from exhaustion, argued some.

Had they not qualified, England would still be playing two matches at this stage of the season in European Championship qualifiers, argued others – ignoring that a qualifier is a necessary game and a third-place play off is not.

Anyway, having watched a tired, goalless 90 minutes, followed by a lifeless blank or 30 minutes, plus a penalty shoot -out that redefined the concept of pointlessness, UEFA president Aleksander Ceferin has reached the startling conclusion that it was a colossal waste of time and should be scrapped.

"Players are tired," he said, as if these were circumstances that could not be foreseen. "It's the end of the season, they want a vacation, they're not fully focused."

It's not the players that need focus, mind, but UEFA. They need to be focused on less stupidity in the future. Smart chance of that as, with his next breath, Ceferin once again attempted to justify having the Europa League climax in Baku. He used the well-rehearsed, stunningly foolish logic, that if two Azerbaijani teams had reached a final at Wembley, there would not have been the same level of complaint. As if this could happen realistically.

Aleksander Ceferin concluded that the Nations League third place play-off was a waste of time

Last season, four teams from Azerbaijan were involved in the Europa League – three entered in the first qualifying round and exited it, too, while Qarabag made the group stage, where they came bottom – goal difference minus 11. After July 19, there was no possibility of an all-Azerbaijani final.

Indeed, since the Europa League was founded, in season 2009-10, only once have two Azerbaijani clubs progressed to the group stage . Both finished bottom of their groups, meaning the chances of thousands of Azerbaijani football fanatics proving UEFA's point by remaining cheerful in the face of an inconvenient trip to Wembley, is a scenario as likely to be tested as a Champions League final that doubles up as the Bristol derby.

"Whenever we have complaints, you don't help yourself in your popularity within European football with that," added Ceferin, like it was a threat.

In other words, dumbfly accept every dumb decision made by dumb UEFA officials or we won't like you.

A BUCKET LIST OF A GOLF COURSE

My dad had never been to Anfield. I used to tell him how great it was, particularly on European nights. I said I'd take him if the chance arose and got tickets for a Champions League group game one Tuesday, against Besiktas. You might recall the date: September 11, 2001.

We heard about the attacks half way up the M6, news worsening with every bulletin. There was wild speculation about planes heading towards London, too. Amazingly, European games went ahead. Dad experienced Anfield, but not the way I had hoped. It was the quietest, flattest atmosphere I have known inside a football ground.

No one wanted to be there – not the teams, not the fans, not us, really. Everyone's thoughts were elsewhere. Dad still said he loved it, but he's a police man. He must have known it is not the same.

We build up these places, these cathedrals of sport, in our minds, sometimes unreasonably. When I told people how excited I was covering a golf tournament at Pebble Beach, I was surprised by some of the reactions. A few folk said I would be let down.

Popular US Open venue Pebble Beach is a bucket list of a course – it was breathtaking

"It's four great holes and the rest are ordinary," I was told. Having been there now, I'd say it's the opposite. Four ordinary holes and the rest are astonishing. If they're not on the Pacific Ocean, there is usually a view of it. I walked the full 18 on Thursday afternoon and it was breathtaking, no matter the leaden skies that have a fixture these last five days.

It's a bucket list of a course, also for a player like Tiger Woods, who must have been there a hundred times, but would occasionally just pause to look around.

It is wonderful partnership, too. Not just the great occasion, but the geography of the California coastline as much part of the drama as the golf itself.

As for Dad, he won't get to Pebble Beach, but he returned to Anfield on August 17, 2017. Liverpool 4 Arsenal 0. It's fair to say he's seen it now.

THIS IS WHY MEDIA MUST SHOW TEETH

Luis Suarez may have been in denial after biting Giorgio Chiellini at the 2014 World Cup, as he claims, but his countrymen did not need to be. In the aftermath of that incident, Oscar Tabarez – Uruguay's coach and figure previously worthy or respect – made a scattergun, 13-minute denunciation of FIFA and, in particular, the English press and was applauded from the room by his country's journalists.

Suarez has now made Tabarez and many compatriots look like fools, by admitting what was known all along. He did it and he knew he did it. This is what happens if unquestioning cheerleaders take over the national media. No checks, no balances.

Judgment, and a lot else, goes out of the window.

Luis Suarez admitted what was known all along after biting Giorgio Chiellini at the World Cup

GOLF'S RANDOM ACTS OF IDIOCY

If you thought cries or 'geddinahole' were annoying, wait until golf's new idiocy seeps into your consciousness. Having reported from three major tournaments in America this summer, I have noticed a new breed or gallery tee-side shouter. The Random.

For a Random, "geddinahole" is too commonplace. If every loudmouth is shouting it and on every hole, how will anyone know when its your loud mouth taking its turn? Thanks to social media and reality television these oafs are evermore convinced that they need to be heard all the time, that their contribution is important and no event is complete without them.

Their need to be personally identified is greater than ever, too. For the Random, this is all about making his – and it is always him, never her – voice audible to the people who are watching at home. He plans in advance, alights on a keyword or phrase and then informs his buddies of his intentions.

There is a new breed or gallery tee-side shouter at the golf golf – known as The Random

'Listen out for me. I'll be the one who shouts "Yabbadabbadoo" at the seventh. " Or 'Holy Moly', or 'shut the door' because you could hear them all at Pebble Beach and a thousand other meaningless catch phrases, a permanent idiot clamor, increasingly mistimed as alcohol took its toll on the hardy remaining brain cells.

Still, if all the unfunniest people in the world are gathered in one place, at least someone, somewhere, should be laughing. Their wives, probably.

Manchester City is Harry Maguire's destination of choice this summer. He should be under no illusions, though, about the exacting standards of the coach. Costly mistakes earned John Stones an arm around the shoulder and the steadfast support of England manager Gareth Southgate. Pep Guardiola witnessed the same and dropped him. As good as he is, Maguire wants to raise his game.

Harry Maguire wants to raise his game if he plays for Pep Guardiola at Manchester City

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[mancitynoise]

New signing Fred may well be the delicate balancing act Manchester United desperately need in midfield to truly get the best out of Paul Pogba, but if that proves to be the case it will be down to fortune far more than design.

The Red Devils’ swoop for the Brazilian midfielder, described by Tim Vickery as a ‘mini-Fernandinho‘, looks good on paper and could well turn out to be an incredibly positive signing, yet the deal highlights the most perplexing dynamic of the post-Ferguson era or more specifically the post-Gill era at Old Trafford – a completely scattergun approach to the transfer market that largely only reacts to the actions of their Premier League rivals.

That’s not to suggest there’s anything wrong with being pragmatic about the transfer market, especially amid an era in which prices have soared beyond control, but it’s a question of small doses – responding to situations here and there, pulling off the odd signing on the basis of a chain reaction. United though, seem to simply swoop for whoever’s available as long as their level of ability surpasses a certain threshold and in several instances, that availability is only because another major Premier League club has turned them down.

There’s an obvious logic to getting well-proven quality through the door. In fact, Jose Mourinho particularly appears only interested in players he considers to be very close to the finished article, who are experienced professionals and are prepared to operate as part of a team. But there’s an obvious downside too; great players still need to be put into the right team and the right context to truly show their greatness. That’s where United are really starting to fall behind their two main divisional and geographical rivals – Liverpool and Manchester City.

In fact, Manchester United have only signed Fred because City gave them a vacuum to fill – and Liverpool snapping up Fabinho, a much-speculated United target, less than a fortnight prior likely had something to do with it as well. The Citizens were hot on the Brazilian’s heels in January but eventually turned their attentions to other departments of team, particularly centre-half and the forward line resulting in their pursuits of Aymeric Laporte and Riyad Mahrez.

And in many ways, that change in tact highlights the key difference; because he so perfectly suits their style of play, City are still courting Mahrez, while longer to consider Fred’s strengths and weaknesses has lead to the conclusion that Jorginho would be a far better fit in the deep-lying role behind David Silva and Kevin de Bruyne.

United have moved to sweep up the pieces before anybody else does, and in fairness Fred – who Transfermarkt value at £28.8million – has the attributes to address a number of their problems in midfield. However, it’s becoming just too common a theme at Old Trafford. Romelu Lukaku was only signed after Chelsea had placed a bid for him, Alexis Sanchez joined because City reneged their interest due to wage demands, Zlatan Ibrahimovich was acquired because of his availability on a free transfer, and even the swoop for Pogba now feels as much a marketing exercise and intended statement of United’s ability to spend competitively as a genuine attempt to improve the quality of the team.

Once again, all of those players belong to the elite bracket and after some very questionable signings under Louis van Gaal, United desperately needed top-end talent. But how many of those aforementioned names have really solved issues within the team? Ibrahimovich was always a temporary solution, and one that despite his goals often slowed United’s attack down. Pogba’s proved a poor fit for Mourinho’s philosophy and the fractious relationship between the pair still awaits an effective compromise.

Sanchez has struggled to adapt and only added to the imbalance of a United squad that already included two talented left-sided forwards in Anthony Martial and Marcus Rashford – if anything, the Chilean’s midseason arrival has created more problems than provided solutions. Lukaku – in fairness – has been the best of the bunch, adapting his game around Mourinho’s methods and providing a crucial foothold in attack.

Compare that, however, to how Liverpool have been going about their business. Jurgen Klopp has always enjoyed a natural knack for it, but he’s done an incredible job of picking the right players for his system and even being prepared to wait for them, accepting short-term losses in results, if a deal can’t be wrapped up quickly. Perhaps the best example of that is the contrasting ways Virgil van Dijk and Andrew Robertson were brought to Anfield to rebuild that shaky defence.

The Scotland international’s minuscule transfer fee raised eyebrows just as highly as the world-record sum spent on the Dutchman, while the former was snapped up midway through July and the latter’s move from Southampton was eventually delayed by an entire transfer window – yet both have since become equally integral components of this Champions League final reaching Liverpool side.

Naby Keita will arrive this summer too after his move was agreed over twelve months ago, and that’s another deal which highlights how Klopp will move heaven and earth, wait entire transfer windows or calendar years, and spend whatever sum is necessary to land the players who are perfect for his way of playing.

That reflects in Liverpool’s and to an extent Manchester City’s performances on the pitch too. They play as an incredibly cohesive, incredibly intricate unit in which all the pieces seem to slot together almost effortlessly. While that’s partly down to Klopp and Guardiola’s impact on the training pitch, it’s also down to the fact every signing is geared towards their distinct philosophies.

Manchester United, meanwhile, are far more disjointed in their play, and that’s probably because none of their pieces quite fit together. Even Pogba and Sanchez seemed to be getting in each others’ way during their early outings in the same starting XI and even Nemanja Matic, one of the most proven defensive midfielders in the business, has struggled to provide the platform the Frenchman truly needs to flourish. Although Mourinho’s pragmatic tactics take the brunt of the criticism, perhaps the real problem lays in how this team has been assembled.

And there’s a wider question here too, of whether United are behaving in the transfer market how a big club should. They have the finances and the pulling power to sign pretty much any player in the world and any player who specifically fits what Mourinho intends to achieve. Instead, they’re walking around the superstore and dragging anything they consider to be elite value into their shopping basket. It’s a missed opportunity considering the money already spent, and one that will cost them dearly in the long run.

[sportsleague365]

THERE’S no denying Romelu Lukaku has become one of the finest strikers in the Premier League since Jose Mourinho let him leave Chelsea for Everton in 2014. The Belgian is powerful, quick and a fine finisher. He has all the attributes needed to become one of the world’s best, hence why Manchester United spent an initial £75m to bring him to Old Trafford. Romelu Lukaku netted 25 Premier League goals for Everton last season as they finished in seventh spotReutersHowever there is much room for improvement for the 24-year-old at Old TraffordPA:Press AssociationThe Red Devils’ gain will undoubtedly be Everton’s loss – strikers like the 24-year-old aren’t easy to come by. And yet last season presents a curious case as to why Everton can continue to improve without Lukaku, as our friends at Football Whispers explain. The 2016/17 campaign was a mixed one for Everton. At times they were scintillating to watch – the 4-0 drubbing of Manchester City is testament to that – while on other occasions they flattered to deceive. The one consistent was Lukaku. Under the guidance of Ronald Koeman the Belgium international’s all-round game improved and that resulted in his best career return in front of goal. His goals helped Everton to a seventh place finish in the Premier League, or did they? A look back over the campaign suggests not. If you were to remove each of the 25 top-flight goals Lukaku struck last season Everton would’ve ended the campaign in… seventh. Yes, they would’ve been nine points worse off but the fact the Toffees created a mini-league of one means they wouldn’t have lost out. Of course, football isn’t that black and a white. As the old cliche goes, goals change games and the fact Lukaku scored, for instance, the second in a 2-0 win over Sunderland shouldn’t count for nothing. Who’s to say without that 80th minute strike that the Black Cats wouldn’t have managed to grab a late equaliser? Romelu Lukaku proudly shows off himself wearing a Manchester United top after signing for £75millionLATEST MAN UTD TRANSFER NEWS ROMA-ING CHARGES Manchester United star Anthony Martial wanted by Italian giants Roma on season-long loanROD RAID Bayern Munich join Man United and Chelsea in £62m race for Real Madrid star James RodriguezPARTING COMPANY Former Manchester United target Antoine Griezmann splits with agent after failed move to Old Trafford'DESTINATION UNKNOWN' Ivan Perisic keeps Manchester United fans guessing with cryptic airport picture postCAM BID Leeds want Manchester United defender Cameron Borthwick-Jackson after spending last season on loan at WolvesRON AWAY Manchester United will have to look elsewhere as Cristiano Ronaldo decides to stay at Real Madrid The Belgian striker has scored an impressive 85 Premier League goals in 186 top-flight appearancesGetty ImagesHe has established himself as one of the most feared centre-forwards in EnglandPA:Press AssociationBut let’s look at the Lukaku goals which did tangibly change the course of the game. There was the 11-minute hat-trick he struck against Sunderland in September which turned a potential 0-0 draw into a 3-0 win. His opening goal in a 1-1 draw against Crystal Palace earned the Toffees a point and it was the same story against Manchester City at the Etihad. His four goals against Bournemouth in February secured a 6-3 win instead of a 3-2 defeat and then there was a brace against Leicester which turned a draw into a 4-2 victory. The fact Lukaku’s goals, in pure statistical terms, meant very little to Everton’s season is a strange quirk. It doesn’t mean, however, that Manchester United are not getting a striker who can make a difference when required. A common stick used to beat Lukaku with is that he is a flat-track bully who only performs against the weaker sides in the division. Even if that is true, which it isn’t, a striker who plunders goals against the weaker sides in the Premier League is exactly what United lacked last season. Who knows where they could’ve finished had the Red Devils turned home draws against the likes of Burnley, Swansea City, West Bromwich Albion and Bournemouth into victories. Lukaku will help them do that. Jose Mourinho has brought in Romelu Lukaku to Manchester United for a fee in the region of £75millionReutersIN-DEMAND Romelu Lukaku takes on Everton team-mates in shooting drillsThe former Chelsea and West Brom man is still not the finished articleGetty ImagesAnd at 24 years old, he is only going to get better. Mourinho didn’t get his hands on Didier Drogba until he was 26 and turned a talented but inconsistent player into a battering-ram of a striker who would go on to win almost every major club honour with Chelsea. Lukaku’s game needs refining, his first touch is still far from perfect and his link-up play needs improving, but he is already a fine player. Worth £75m? Perhaps not. But he is proven in the Premier League and, given the transfer market is ludicrously inflated this summer, it’s a price worth paying. Everton and Lukaku was, in the cold light of day, a marriage of convenience. Both have benefitted from being together but both knew it wasn’t a relationship that would last years and years. And telling there haven’t been too many tears shed over his departure which, despite the striker giving interviews about joining United, has yet to be confirmed. Old Trafford may be the place where Lukaku is truly loved. He will score goals, of that there is no doubt. And this season they may prove to be vital in taking Manchester United from sixth into the top four and beyond. Keep up to date with all the latest news, gossip, rumours and done deals in SunSport's live transfer blog Paul Pogba and Romalu Lukaku celebrate strikers move to Manchester United #RomeluLukaku #PremierLeague #PremierLeagueGoals

[mancitynoise]

Last weekend was something of a paradise for fans of English football. While Saturday saw the incredibly competitive relegation battle unfold in the Premier League, Sunday witnessed Manchester United take on Chelsea in a tight affair at Old Trafford, followed by a Carabao Cup final that has created talking points for predominantly the wrong reasons.

As ever in football, the weekend produced its winners and losers – so here’s a look back with a rundown of those who triumphed and those who toiled.

Losers – Arsenal

Arsenal have suffered countless lows during the declining years of Arsene Wenger’s tutelage but the grandness of their stage on Sunday made the 3-0 defeat to Manchester City in the Carabao Cup final particularly significant. While there’s no disgrace in losing to easily the best side in English football if not Europe this season, the manner of the defeat was the ultimate issue at Wembley.

Arsenal gave as good as they got until the first goal went in, but Shkodran Mustafi’s pathetic reaction to Sergio Aguero’s challenge before the Argentine latched onto Claudio Bravo’s pass and lobbed David Ospina epitomised their performance from that point; toothless, spineless and without any real conviction.

Out of the FA Cup already and way behind the rest of the Big Six, Arsenal’s domestic season has ended in February. It’s hard to tell where the north Londoners and Arsene Wenger go from here.

Winner – Gary Neville

Speaking of Arsenal, a mid-game rant may have etched Gary Neville’s name into commentary and punditry folklore on Sunday.

Some would prescribe the Manchester United’s critique as overzealous but it perfectly encapsulated how pathetic Arsenal’s performance was in the Carabao Cup final, branding the Emirates outfit an ‘absolute disgrace’ and particularly targeting an engine room of Granit Xhaka, Aaron Ramsey and Mesut Ozil, who Neville all accused of walking just moments before some ingenuity from David Silva sealed City’s third goal and the first trophy of Pep Guardiola’s reign.

Delivered with real passion and genuine anger by the former right-back, Neville’s swipe at Arsenal won’t be forgotten quickly.

Winner – Romelu Lukaku

Romelu Lukaku will be hoping Sunday’s 2-1 win over Chelsea proves to be something of a turning point when he looks back on his Manchester United career in the years to come. This was Lukaku’s first goal against a member of the Premier League’s big six since moving to Old Trafford and it set the Belgium international on his way for his best performance against such calibre of opposition as well.

Continuously growing into what was an incredibly cagey game, Lukaku occupied Chelsea’s three centre-halves and provided a second moment of magic when he curled in a cross for Jesse Lingard to head home the winner.

Come the final few minutes, as Lukaku jinked past one defender and attempted to charge through Chelsea’s entire defence single-handed, the United faithful let out one of the loudest roars heard at Old Trafford this season, laced with encouragement for and acceptance of the club’s £75million purchase.

Loser – Jonjo Shelvey

Just when Jonjo Shelvey appears to be on the verge of a breakthrough, eradicating the long-standing inconsistencies in his game, the Newcastle United midfielder is picked up by Match of the Day for his refusal to track back.

And it was hard to argue with the scathing assessment; after allowing Adam Smith to maraud his way inside from the left back position virtually uncontested, Shelvey loitered aimlessly outside the box, seemingly waiting for the ball, as Dan Gosling charged into it and completed Bournemouth’s comeback after going two goals down.

For all of Shelvey’s undoubted technical quality, he cost his side two vital points on Saturday. That could be incredibly costly come the summer; not only are Newcastle in relegation bother, but Gareth Southgate is still running the rule over England’s engine room options.

Shelvey’s performance on Saturday will have bumped him down the pecking order.

Loser – Serge Aurier

Many Tottenham fans argued their club had pulled off some of the best business the transfer market has seen this century when they sold Kyle Walker for £50million and replaced him with PSG man Serge Aurier, but Serge Aurier is no Kyle Walker.

Not only did the Ivorian miss a glaring chance to score as Tottenham battled it out in a subdued early kickoff with Crystal Palace on Sunday, somehow overstepping and stopping the ball dead two yards out from goal, but he also became the first player in Premier League history to commit three foul throws in the same game.

It’s a dishonourable record to be the proprietor of, and isn’t exactly the first instance of inexplicable stupidity Aurier has been involved in this season.

Winner – Willian

It’s been an incredible week in the life of Willian, even if it did end in defeat at Old Trafford. The Brazil international was Chelsea’s driving force on Tuesday night as they drew with Barcelona in the Champions League, finding the net after twice hitting the woodwork, and Willian was at his explosive best once again on Sunday, blasting the ball past David De Gea to open the scoring after instigating the counter-attack in his own penalty box.

Jose Mourinho even reserved special praise for his one-time player after the match and considering how performances haven’t even guaranteed him a spot in what has been an unspectacular Chelsea side on the most part this season, the 29-year-old might just take that as encouragement from the Special One to seek a summer move up to Old Trafford.

Losers – West Brom

Alan Pardew is a dead man walking, and at this point his stay of execution has become unbearably painful. The sacking of the two men who appointed him in the same week as four of his players were cautioned by the Spanish authorities for commandeering a taxi amid a drunken rampage at McDonalds has created a hellfire at the Hawthorns, one that they failed to extinguish against Huddersfield on Sunday.

Despite the Terriers’ modest record on the road, they still scored twice before the Baggies managed to respond and eventually sealed a huge victory that could well determine their fate come the end of the season. West Brom though, now appear dead in the water as they’re seven points adrift of safety with just ten games remaining. Next up are Watford.

Winner – Vincent Kompany

When Vincent Kompany swung his foot at an Ilkay Gundogan shot to prod home City’s second goal, the emotion quite simply poured out of him. His celebration was anything other than co-ordinated, City’s skipper flailing his limbs like a man possessed and bellowing out towards the fans who’d travelled all the way to London.

It was a deserved moment considering Kompany, still a world-class centre-back when fit, has endured so many injury problems over the last few years.

But the goal also highlighted the key difference between the two teams at Wembley; no Arsenal player came close to replicating the leadership, physicality and ability to organise that the Belgium international brought to this City team during the most important match of Guardiola’s era so far. If anybody thought Kompany was just along for the ride this season, Sunday’s performance showed how important he still is for the Premier League’s champions in waiting.

Loser – Antonio Conte

Would it be a stretch to suggest Antonio Conte has fallen victim to what Jose Mourinho does best? Since the two exchanged verbal blows at the start of 2018, Chelsea have endured a modest run of form and while their performance at Old Trafford yesterday was hardly embarrassing, the Blues did end up conceding three valuable points to a divisional rival that they hope to beat to second place come the end of May.

Mourinho shook the hand of every Chelsea player before the match, seemingly in attempt to agitate his successor, and Conte’s decisions proved to be the more costly of the two – a few minutes after bizarrely taking off Eden Hazard, Jesse Lingard netted United’s winner. What’s the lesson here? Don’t get involved in mind games with Mourinho.