#only to get someone's little sister out of a shitty situation is like cherries in winter actually haha

[fragmentedblade]

Pardofelis and Kalpas getting Rin and Sakura out safely has lived in my mind rent-free for days now

[n3onfangss]

I'm gonna fucking kill myself. everything is so shit and i know i shouldn't talk about family situations but here we go

Basically my stepdad has always been a stupid, abusive, manipulative bitch and everyone is only realizing it NOW. he cheated on my mom and got his ass caught so we packed overnight bags and left the house last night. 30-45 minutes of driving, Wendy's and yelling later we go home and i camp out with my sisters and the dog in their room because my mom swore she would come in. FINALLY little Ms suck up realizes how shitty he is and how right i was the whole. damn. time. and everyone is mad at him. my mom is looking for a place today and I'm pretty sure our stepdad is the one who has to move out because the house is in my mom's name. they might get divorced but we don't know.

but basically now I'm clean-up crew again with this and I'm the only one my sister's talk to during shit so I'm gonna have to bear this weight for a second time and keep them going again and it sucks. and i can't tell my Dad because i was both told not to and i don't wanna put that pressure on him too.

and cherry on the cake, everyone fucking SUCKS at understanding each other. how i, the tone-deaf borderline friendless antisocial autistic kid, can read emotions and motives better than three adults and two kids i don't know. but now I'm the therapist and clean-up crew and translator and messenger and EVERYTHING. all over again.

and how did i know my stepdad was manipulative and abusive? when he wanted to date my mom he lied about his age and wouldn't stop asking until she gave in. withing two weeks he was kicked out of our condo but let back. he's showered my single mother's three small children with gifts to keep up complacent and make us like him. he never had a job, ever, and just expected my mom to take care of his man child ass and her kids. when they got married he decided that he was the man of the house even though he didn't do jack shit and then became and asshole. he dented my dog's kennel by punching it when he was mad at her, was home 3 hours after he said he would be relatively consistently, picked fights with my mom and so much more. he lives in the garage, sneaks around, does no chores and treats us three like live in house service, runs around with other women, doesn't talk to my mom unless he needs something or wants someone to take his anger out on, yells at us, threatens us and so much more. even my dad who has never spoken to him hates him.

one time, when my grandparents on my mom's side were in town, they had a fight in the garage and i heard loud and clear "You don't rape your wife when her parents are in town!!"

God i fucking hate him.

[xaerais]

⠀⠀⠀⠀Billy Hargrove.

⠀⠀⠀⠀Let’s talk about him.

We’re gonna start this off with a 𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚. This post will absolutely mention some dark && mature themes such as gun violence, racism, homophobia, narcissism, murder and abuse. Audience discretion is advised. Now let’s get into it.

For the longest time, I felt I couldn’t quite yet speak on this topic out of irrational fear of getting bullied or targeted over a fictional character. But now I’m at the point where if that does happen, at the end of the day, he’s still a fictional character and people are more than welcome to block me if they see fit. After all, this post is only for those who are willing to listen, have a conversation and keep an open mind. Thank you.

So, everyone knows that Dacre Montgomery’s character, Billy Hargrove, is an asshole. He was written to be that way in the rawest form, and it’s nothing new. He didn’t try to mask it—anyone could’ve guessed just by meeting him that he wasn’t exactly the friendliest guy to be around. And boy did a LOT of people start hating him for his horrible actions throughout the course of S2 of Stranger Things. All of which were completely valid, mind you. Most people only really seemed to like his character not because they particularly enjoyed the way he acted, but rather how “pretty” he was. And that’s about as far as any love for him went.

The hate, however, stemmed from the horrible things he said about the same girls he attended high school with to the blatant racism targeting a young Lucas Sinclair, threatening him and intimidating him to stay away from his younger step-sister, Max Mayfield. Then there was his abusive nature towards Max, herself, when the two had scenes together, displaying their very clear, very obvious dislike for one another.

Why would anyone like someone like that? Why would anyone forgive someone like that?

It made Sadie Sink’s character super relatable right off the bat for some people, and that’s purely what the writers wanted. After all, more often than not when a new character is introduced in a series as young as Stranger Things at the time, there’s bound to be some sort of hesitation from the fandom as far as acceptance goes. But there are too many people who live in tough family situations, that giving Max a shitty older brother made her seem like the perfect person to attach to because she made those of us in similar situations feel seen. Hence the intense love for Max, and the only evergrowing hate for Billy.

Furthermore, as someone who’s followed up with the show since 2017 ( the release year of S2 of Stranger things ) with every single season after the fact, I agree with many who strongly dislike Billy’s character, and saw how wrong his actions were. He shouldn’t be forgiven for them, regardless if it was the 80s, and regardless if that behavior was a lot more normalized than it is today ( although even now that’s a little up for debate, but that’s a different conversation entirely ).

But what I don’t particularly like is the plain and simple fact a lot of Billy haters out there like to cherry pick what they focus on in a character, bringing out only the problematic aspects of him specifically, and not his full character potential. Especially after the release of S3, which has been out for officially three years now since July 4th of 2019.

When I continue seeing Billy hate/slander today, it makes me wonder if people watched the same show that I did, or if they completely skipped S3 as a whole.

For starters, I’ve seen people claim things like,

“If that was your son, would you support him if he acted like that? Would you raise him to be that way? No, because it’s fucking disgusting.”

and...

“Billy is a racist and abusive piece of shit... be serious, not every white horrible man needs redemption.”

“Billy never cared about Max.”

“Did ya’ll not listen to Max’s monologue?” ( in reference to S4 ).

All of which I’m upset about because these claims, to put it plainly, downright don’t make ANY sense. The first quote, especially, because it just goes to show that some people straight up ignored Neil Hargrove.

Neil Hargove, played by Will Chase, made his appearance briefly at the end of S2. It was a confrontational matter between him and Montgomery’s character, asking about where Max may have disappeared to since it was late at night and her bedroom window was wide open with her nowhere to be seen. For context, Billy was supposed to watch over her while Neil and Susan, Max’s mother, went on a date. Billy claimed that Max was old enough and suggested she went to the arcade and that he didn’t feel the need to watch over her after apparently doing so all week, and Neil grew angry with him and that’s where it all went downhill. Here’s the scene below.

As we can see, Billy must’ve retained his abusive and homophobic nature from him. We later find out in S3 through Billy’s memories that he primarily grew up with his father after his mother abandoned him due to no longer being able to handle the abusive nature Billy’s father displayed. And for those who don’t remember that scene either, here it is below.

Neil Hargrove had a huge part to play in Billy’s actions now as an adult, and why he’s such a hateful person. So, to see people sit there and say that he actively chose to be that way, that’s... not entirely true. He has trauma of his own, and the best way any man of the 80s knew how to take that out, was through anger. And that’s what we saw between him and Max, and him and Lucas.

Referencing back to that quote, the answer is yes. Neil did, in fact, raise Billy to be that way through abuse.

Onto the second quote where it states Billy being an abusive, racist piece of shit not in need of any redemption—I both agree and disagree. We already know his actions for being abusive and racist were unacceptable. We no longer need to hear people tooting that horn over and over again. However, to say he didn’t deserve redemption goes to show how many people are willing to deny someone who’s hurting deep down the love and compassion they clearly need.

Billy was traumatized and abused by his father, hence why he’s become the abuser. Because in his eyes, that’s where power comes from. Holding fear over others, especially Max and Lucas, and proving to people that he’s the top dog since showing up in Hawkins. ( Cue the intense stare-down he had with Steve after beating his record as Keg King, and the comments he made to him during their basketball session back in S2 ).

But as we go further into S3, he completely loses all that power he had the second he became flayed. And damn near every scene we’ve seen him in after the fact, he’s always been crying. Now we don’t know for sure since it’s never been confirmed, but it could be safe to say he was aware and regretting every uncontrollable action he ever made after losing himself to the Mind Flayer. Automatically, those actions became quickly excused/dismissed by the fandom because at least they knew that much. That he wasn’t to blame for what he did.

But, that’s as far as that goes. Because despite all that, and despite his ultimate sacrifice in the end—this now ties into the third quote—there are still people out there preaching that Billy never cared about Max.

Clearly, a lot of people don’t understand how important that scene was between him and Eleven when she reminded him of his mother, how much he missed her, and how happy he was. It was the first time in a very long time, if at all, that someone finally understood him, and showed him affection he’s never had before since being a child. If you’re unsure what I’m talking about, here it is below.

Immediately after she temporarily breaks him free from the Mind Flayer’s control, he gets up and protects Eleven, Max and Mike from the Mind Flayer, sacrificing himself in the process and dying.

I don’t think someone who didn’t care about Max would go out of his way after being freed to save the three of them. But he did, and he died for it, and I’m sure he knew he would.

Furthermore, his last words to Max when it could’ve been anything else, was “I’m sorry.”

I firmly believe that he deserved a redemption arc because those two scenes right there proved to us as the audience that he did have a heart, and that it would’ve simply taken a little bit of effort to see it had he lived. I’m sure he would’ve been trauma bonded to Max, too, after the fact, and would’ve grown to care for her more as a little sister than some girl he feels he’s been forced to take care of since a young age. And Max who could’ve helped encourage him to stray from being such a terrible person like we knew him to be from S2.

Unfortunately, however, that’s not how things played out, so last but not least we push ourselves to S4 of Stranger Things, referring to Max’s letter to Billy and later her monologue in the season finale.

As we know, Max wrote several letters to several characters in Ep. 3 of S4 after figuring out she had been cursed by S4’s antagonist, Vecna. She even wrote a letter to Billy, and there was an entire episode named Dear Billy to focus on what she wrote in her letter to him before she was tormented by illusions of Billy thanks to Vecna’s curse.

In her letter, she talked about how since he’d been gone, life for her and their family had gone completely down the gutter. Neil left Susan and Max behind, Susan became overworked and an alcoholic, and she continued on with her letter saying she deeply regretted never attempting to save Billy or pull him away the night they fought the Mind Flayer. She even included wishing that if she had, they might’ve been able to have a real brother and sister relationship like she wanted. To start over and try to become good friends with him to achieve that.

Here’s what she says in her letter:

Max later adds on how she thought it might’ve been silly given they hated each other, but it goes to show she really did care about him in some way, and wanted to be a true little sister to him.

There are people, however, that choose to brush off what she said in this letter. Because somehow her monologue during the season finale suggests the exact opposite. How she wanted him dead for ruining her life, and that she remained hopeful it would happen. That she hesitated to run to him for that very reason. But it should go without saying that she didn’t really mean any of that.

Why?

Prior to her sitting down in the attic with Lucas at her side, she was calling out to Vecna. She was going to be the bait to lure him out so Steve, Robin and Nancy who were in the Upside Down at the time, could find their opening and kill Vecna once and for all per their plan. She was REPEATING what Vecna had said to her after reading Billy’s letter so she could draw his attention towards her. She manipulated Vecna just as she clearly manipulated a large portion of the audience with her monologue.

Let’s keep in mind that, again, Lucas was at her side. He heard the entirety of her “confession,” something that if she truly meant what she said, would’ve kept to herself exactly how she did with her letter to Billy. Both times, mind you, she knew she was going to potentially die.

It was a trap designed for Vecna, because otherwise, why wouldn’t she have included any of that in her letter to Billy in the first place? Especially when it was her sitting alone at his grave. That was a perfect time for a confession like that, but instead she wrote and talked about wishing she saved him. Not wished him dead.

This isn’t something that should have to be explained because it’s quite literally common sense at that point, but it’s there for people who didn’t understand and continue to bash both Billy and Max for it off of either side.

All in all, those were just a couple key points and huge examples of excuses I’ve seen so many people use when wanting to hate on and slander Billy.

And in no way am I trying to encourage people to love Billy after this post, because that’s not what I’m after. I more so want people to fully understand that he’s not as bad of a person as he’s often believed and depicted out to be. He was heavily traumatized and misguided, and S3 showed us he had the potential to be put back on the right path as a decent human being had he lived.

However, just a final note if some people do choose to continue to send hate, slander or paint Billy as a terrible person. I am gonna include a small list of some pretty terrible things SUPER LOVED/SYMPATHIZED characters of the series have done. And I fully expect said people to hate on them and keep the same energy for them, too.

⠀

⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗩𝗘 𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗧𝗢𝗡

Slut shamed Nancy Wheeler.

Committed vandalism.

Publicly humiliated Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers.

⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡 𝗕𝗬𝗘𝗥𝗦

Committed candid.

⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀𝗝𝗔𝗦𝗢𝗡 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗩𝗘𝗥

Hunted after Eddie Munson, an innocent teenager, and got the whole town of Hawkins in on it.

Threatened one of Eddie’s bandmates, Gareth, to tell him where Eddie was. Nearly broke his hand knowing he was a drummer.

Threatened Nancy Wheeler.

Had his friend tackle an 11 y/o to the ground and threaten her.

Pulled a gun out on Lucas Sinclair and threatened his life. He also shot at him, then fought and nearly strangled him to death.

[rotomgender-moved]

"Movie"

Simply a gay as all fuck Greyskyshipping fic ive been writing for like 2 days. Everyone look at them. But nobody look at me.

Hugh felt warm, the feeling of plush blankets draped on him and warm hot chocolate in his system made a pleasant warmth spread from his belly out to his fingers and toes. A welcome feeling combating the bitter Unova winter's gloom and sharp winds he and Nate just trudged through to get to this hotel. Speaking of Nate, when Hugh looked over he found his friend's brown eyes glued to the flatscreen TV that was provided with the room. The TV droned on with a movie about Ekans on a Corviknight Taxi, or whatever. It wasn't interesting, especially with Nate's promise of a horror movie. It was weak as hell, he could even hear Nate chuckling at it occasionally, muttering about the shitty CGI.

"Arceuuuuuuuussss, Nate," Hugh whined, looking over completely at him. "You said we could watch a scary movie, you promised a scary movie. This is boring and bad." He complained, taking a pillow and slapping his chest with it. Nate tried to muffle a little laugh in response while rolling his eyes.

"Last time we watched a slightly well made slasher you cried, you're not a horror guy! I was trying to numb it more to your taste." Nate shrugged a little, flashing him a little smile.

"No, let's watch something you like." Hugh scrunched up his nose a little and took his pillow back.

"I like this movie-"

"A movie you like unironically, jackass." Hugh interrupted, sticking out his bottom lip and glaring at Nate, who stuck his hands in the air a little and shrugged.

"Whatever you say, dollface."

"What's with you and dollface?"

"Because you don't get enough sun and are white as fuck- OW!" Nate was met with a hit to the gut, Hugh using a snap of aggression to hide the face he did find that really funny. It was a beat of silence between them before barely contained snickers finally escaped the two, blooming into giggles and snorts. "Okay, okay, Hugh! If you're sure you want to watch a real horror movie, let me put on one of my personal favorites."

Hugh nodded a little, shuffling deeper into his blankets as Nate rolled off his side of the hotel bed. Getting up and popping out the dvd to instead open his bag and pull out a different one, a blank one with black sharpie having been scrawled on the front. Probably the title of the movie, Hugh couldn't tell. As Nate sat back down on the bed and lounged onto the pillows, the movie began with a hum of the dvr.

"You alright?" Nate's voice sounded over the song in the movie's credits, making Hugh jump and let out a yelp. "You… You're pale."

"Yeah! I'm okay- I'm fine, Nate." He nodded quickly, turning to look at Nate. "Just- Wow. Okay." He tried his best to grin over at his friend, but Nate raised an eyebrow and turned the TV's audio off.

"Cujo was too intense for you, huh?"

"No- No! I'm alright, Nate, really! I'm smiling-"

"You're Haunhcrows feet aren't showing, it's fake." Nate reached over and took one of Hugh's hands in both of his, tilting his head a little out of concern. DAMN him for being so- so- uhg! But when he looked up at Nate directly- fuck he couldn't help but feel his stomach knot into a little tight ball. If looking in someone's eyes for too long could kill, Hugh would be dead in a moment… He just-

//

-He has those cherry red eyes, Nate notes to himself. Taking this moment to just absorb what Hugh looks like. His skin is really soft, too, probably from wearing those gloves all the time. He kept searching in those eyes for the truth and was only overwhelmed by Hugh's obviously being scared shitless. The way he twitches around and turns at every sound. Hugh's always been finicky and a worrier, especially over his sister, Rosa and Nate himself. But this was more than just him being worried over Team Plasma bursting from nowhere and trying to hurt Nate again, after that whole situation with Ghetsis and the DNA splicer. Nate knew that for sure.

He could read Hugh like a little, cute novel.

Nate was never in denial of his feelings for his childhood best friend, plus he knew for a fact Hugh was about as straight as a remoras wiggling fins. So he knew he had a shot, at least. He was lucky for that, most stories of boy falls in love with childhood boy best friend usually end up with the best friend being straight. Plus he had Rosa and N to help him out. Even if N… Wasn't the best of help, especially in their more love-repulsed moods. Help was help, and he couldn't ask for better help than from his sisters and Hilbert!

Plus, even if he didn't have help. If he and Hugh could take down a terrorist group by themselves, he thinks he can chase a little crush. Well- little. He assumes if it lasts over two years its no longer a little crush, but deeply and madly in love. What could he say-

///

-What could he say, Nate was just… Incredible! Hugh would follow him to the ends of the earth, even if it met watching that Cujo movie a hundred times over, god what he'd do to just… Be held-

God that's… He's touch starved, ain't he? He's never felt this inclined to just lean into someone and stay there, even when it came to Nate. So he did, he leaned forward and went limp on his friend, feeling arms wrap around his torso and weight guide him to lay down. The more he thought about the situation, the more his thoughts went back to that killer stoutland and its bloodied snout-

He hadn't even realized he was whimpering and shaking that bad until Nate quietly hushed him, rubbing a hand up and down his back.

"Hey, Hugh, it's okay." He whispered, closed to his ear. "Nothings gonna hurt us while we're both here. You protect me so much and are so brave, nothing could get in our way and hurt us." He promised, and Hugh could feel the warm puffs of breath on his ear. It made his face warm up a little, Nate was just so close and he was being so nice.

So Hugh gripped onto Nate's jacket tighter and buried his face in the nape of his neck, simply staying there to be safe. Safe, safe. Nate was his safety, his rock. The light at the end of the tunnel that kept him going. He loves him, he knows that. But he didn't even realize he had said it until a quiet gasp and a mutter.

"I love you too, Dollface."

[draconicks]

Winter Night

TW: References to Family Abuse and Child Abuse

(for @jakkisukaru )

Dwayne huffed in slight annoyance, his hair stiff as a board underneath the layer of beanies and the coat that rose up past his cherry red nose. He had always hated the cold, that was a known fact. He always went shirtless as often as possible, and he now just wanted to be back at home, whee they had left a week earlier.

David was no better though, the platinum blonde despising how many layers he was coated underneath, his face just barely peeking through. He loved the cold, don't get him wrong, but he hated snow. Fall was his favorite, and it always will be most likely. But when winter came around, his personality changed with it.

The only ones that actually 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘥 to enjoy their situation, was Paul and Marko. But then again, that wasn't a surprise to David or Dwayne, especially with how loud the two blondes' laughs were as they laid flat on their coat and sweater clad stomachs, sliding down the icey road with their gloved hands interlaced, two blonde manes flying behind them as if they were capes.

"𝘞𝘰𝘰𝘩𝘰𝘰!" a loud howl echoed into the einter night, a very bright, and very short flash of blonde appearing in the Oregon neighborhood that they were currently taking in residence in. Dwayne and David winced microscopically at the thought of a human stepping outside and seeing how impossibly fast two blondes were flying down neighborhood road.

David hissed and shuffled his weight, tugging the layer of coats tighter around his body, "Those idiots are gonna get us in trouble." A quirk of a grin tugging on his mouth. Even if he knew what the two was doing was "wrong", he still enjoyed seeing them having fun.

Dwayne's stoic expression cracked and a fond, warm smile spread across his face, "Well, atleast some people are having a bit of fun." he replied, "Besides, it's been miserable cooped up inside that house of Max's without any electricity."

David grunted in agreement, his eyes still fixated on the cackling blondes that were atleast now half a mile away from them, judging on how fast they were going. He hadn't seen them this happy since they left California, which was definitely saying something.

Once the two blondes appeared out of view, Dwayne and David fell silent for a little while, many thoughts swarming in their minds as they watched their two coven mates, shrink into the night, their joyful laughs going with them.

It reminded the two vaguely of their own humanity.

The pure, joyful laughs, the winter coats making them clad and warm, the sudden rush of excitement that they could see from the two...everything made it memorable, but they knew that in a few years, they wouldn't remember this night, especially with how vampire memory worked for them.

A loud, sudden giggle reverberated into the silence, "You know," David began, Dwayne turning his head to look at the blonde, "When I was a little boy and when I had lived in Minnesota for a few months, we had sone pretty shitty winters," Dwayne smirked.

"We never had electricity, so we always had to huddle up when winter came along, and we had to sleep in piles with countless jackets strung across us, with me and my little sister, Amara, always in the middle of those piles because we were the youngest,"

David brung up a gloved hand to wipe his mouth, hesitant to continue at first, but Dwayne looked at him ever so patiently, "You know, there are some days where I really do miss Amara...everything about her from what I can remember makes me miss her so much, man."

Dwayne's breath hitched as he watched the blonde man next to him swallow a lump in his throat, his icy eyes watery with unshed tears and his jaw trembling. It was a very rare sight to see David in such a state, especially when talking about his past, but then again, Dwayne now figured why he didn't like talking about it.

He clearly had a soft spot for the little girl.

Dwayne awkwardly shuffled closer to him, his arm brushing against his. "I understand what you mean." Dwayne whispered. David looked up at Dwayne and furrowed his brows in confusion, "You do?" he asked him.

Dwayne then nodded in response, rapidly blinking his dark eyes. "I don't know if you remember me telling you this, but, I was raised in an abusive household, and I was the oldest," David hummed, linking his arms with Dwayne in a sympathetic gesture. "And we had two baby twins - newborns, my sister Claira, my brother Dionnon, and then my second eldest brother, Jasper."

Dwayne tightened his arm around David's, almost as if he was bracing himself for something. David seemed to already know what it was, but didn't speak up. "My parents never gave a shit about us. They were always just arguing and drinking, brushing us aside. I mean, shit," Dwayne humorlessly laughed, "If you can't be a fucking parent, someone has to, so that was what I did."

"I 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 looked out for them, I fed them, put them to bed, I even fucking bathed them." Anger began to sneak into his mind, starting to cloud his senses, "I just wanna see my parents one more time, man. Just one more 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 time." David swallowed and looked down at his feet, not knowing what to do.

He sniffled and looked back up at the brunette, who was now staring blankly ahead at the road. "I'm sorry for telling you that stuff." He mumbled. David's eyes widened and he shook his head, "No, man. Don't be, don't be sorry." Dwayne shook his head and his breath staggered out, "I just," his voice croaked and his arm tightened even more around David.

"I really miss them, so much, David." He whispered. David nodded and then leaned his head onto his shoulder, nuzzling his cheek affectionately. "I know." he murmured, his rosey cheeks spreading a slight warmth against the taller brunette, who still stayed statuesque although that was the last thing David wanted.

Dwayne then heaved a sigh and layed his head onto David's, the spikey hairs crunching underneath Dwayne's head. It wouldn't be long before their moment was interuppted, but they just to savor this up as much as possible.

[kaiju-z]

Seon Adventures Episode 23:  Blood and Cherry

Following the cliffhanger of Amelia and the rest of the party literally and figuratively bumping into her sister... we carry on into the conversation that happens.

Sabrina, Sab for short, as it is learned, is the younger sister of Amelia, who at one point in her life had lived under the name, or nickname “DeeDee”. Something Sab is understandably confused about Luctan refers to Amelia as such.

When last the two had met, it was 7 years ago, when Sabrina was 7 years of age, when they were seperated by tragic means. In the time since, she had grown into a strong, 18 year old spellcaster, as she performed some of her evocation magic for the party to witness.

It’s hard to tell what class she may be, as Luck notes in his mind, but at the very least he can tell it’s not Divine type.

Smoothing over some perceived sleights, as the two hadn’t reconnected since the incident that seperated them, Luctan explains that Amelia had confided in him her worries and goal of searching, of finding her little sister. Which would be Sabrina. Persuasive as he is, he convinces her of the Air Genasi Monk’s determination and the two ladies hug it out and we get introduced to Sab’s familiar, a very lovely little weasel.

A promise is made to rendevouz later at the Tabernax tavern later, after they each finish their respective job for the day.

As they part ways, Amelia gets a pep talk from the party as the revelation comes that she has a severe case of Imposter Syndrome, having to have kept her own issues to herself. Believing that she had to decrease, as everyone else had to increase their own issues’ level.

That is not the case though, as Luck, Mournimar and Belli make it clear to her. It’s not the case as her own situation and the need to find a balance is just as important as the rest’s.

Promissing to discuss things later, the five and their pets carry on into the rounded out area of the South-Eastern part of town, on the outer wall’s side.

Three buildings in particular stand out to everyone. A Pottery Shop, named “Straight to the Paint ‘, an old house and an Orphanage right next to it.

Luctan’s lack of knowledge of herbalism aside.. A decision is made on how they should handle the establishments.

Luck takes the executive decision to split the party up in 3 teams:

Team 1: Luck and Ficus take to the Pottery shop.

Team 2: Amelia and Mournimar, to investigate the old house.

Team 3: Malak and Belli to have a chat with the heads of the Orphanage.

Learn information, apply that information, reunite and solve the case of the mysterious lightning strikes!

And so they go!

Luctan, making a promise to Belli to buy pot, goes and gets her a flower pot. And paints.(Poor low Int Roll, yaaay!) Charming the shop owner with his words, complimenting his youthful appearance and all that, Luctan learns a bit of info, before he decides to go Assassin’s Creeding up the roofs:

The gnome shopkeeper, having spoken to Mr. Greg, two doors down had come to learn that the old man kept finding left over snacks in his spare room. Quite odd. Crumbs? Maybe a rat infestation, the guard aren’t interested. He complained that someone talked from his chimney. But no one could be found.

On the opposite side of the street, the chimney of Mr. Tim was taken out in one of the lightning strikes. Frankly, the Gnome suspects that, based on whispers around town, The Storm God Dahktot was responsible in some way, maybe the involvement of a cult was in play?

Losing a fight to a fly, aside, Luctan doesn’t get any info or perception on what’s going on from the top of the buildings.

Amelia and Mournimar have far much better, well, Luck, in this situation than Luctan as they confront the owner of the house (you know, after Mournimar suggests breaking in). They meet the legend himself, Old Greg, a crotchety old man in his 80′s, who complains to them about rats in the guest room upstairs.

Guy has a shitty day. As usual. Fucking kids.  He hates them kids.  Little brats in the spare room get hella loud.  He’s such a crotchety bastard. But the suspicion does arise that kids from the Orphanage may be involved somehow.

Mourni figures the vibes in the house are spooky. Old house and magical energy coming form upstairs, one part in particular. Though...  The room doesn’t appear to have anything off about it. The dust is lighter, like there used to be a bed and it smells like rotting food.

The two most perceptible in the party notice that there’s a small circle with markings, scribbled out and redrawn repeatedly. Mournimar notices the angle and his eyes are drawn to the fireplace, the wall shared with the orphanage and there is a loose brick hanging off of it.

Mournimar investigates the loose brick.  He takes a peek and can notice, in the dark of it, a pressure point. While he fiddles with the bricks, Amelia gives a closer look to the runes carved into the floor. They sadly are unreadable, but one is always the same. Amelia has no idea.

As the two talk actions,  Amelia agrees that Mourni should press the button.

Clunking sounds. He holds down the button. Eventually there’s a shifting and the bricks at the back of the fireplace separate and open up... and  Mournimar essentially breaks into an orphanage. 

There’s a single bed in the room. Pretty plane room, there’s a propped up piece of wood. A bag under the bed and the bed is fairly small.

Casting Pass Without a Trace, Mournimar sneaks inside. He finds a thick heavy book within the sack, beneath the bed. It’s compex in design, intricate and it’s lead bound back. Black, with a fire pattern at the bottom.

There’s a detailed drawing of the ritual circle in the bedroom they started with. With a combined effort, the two make a copy of the ritual circle. And Mournimar draws a detailed map of the building and circle.

The runes are clearer and neater, the main one repeated is the symbol for Conjuration.  They figure they should warn the old man. Mourni makes sure the close the door behind himself. Walking back, they do see a picture of a younger Greg, in a canoe.

They try to explain the situation to him, but the old guy pulls a dagger on them, ‘cause he’s startled by the cult shit book. Amelia lies it’s a cake and he buys it.

Back with Belli and Malak, the two go do dad and totally normal daughter activities. Just two bros, hanging out, going to an orphanage.

There’s a chiming. An older Firbolg lady opens the door. The story is that they’re here to play music for the kids. Belli pays attention for weird shit. Malak gives her Guidance. “You’ve got this. They’re just kids.”

There are toys all over the place. Very much homemade.

After the ringing of a bell, 15 kids in a swarm enter the room. (Roll for initiative, j/k).

They kind of, a few of them walk right up to Belli and one of the youngest is in the Firbolg’s arms, as it’s too young. A few sit down as Malak introduces Belli.

“ Wow, are your teeth real?!” asks one child and Belli confirms, as she is an Olf/Erc (Half Orc/Half Elf). The question is raised as the baby in the Firbolg’s arms is asl oa Half-Orc. His little tusks being all nubby and the like as he nibbles on her blue dress’ shoulder.

The kids ask about Malak’s axe and he shows it off, safely, for the kids. A few try to climb Malak to get to the axe, ‘cause that shit’s sick.

The lady introduces herself as Doreen. The head of this Orphanage.

As Belli begins entertaining children with magic and song, Malak converses with Doreen. She has a brother, who left recently. She’s been taking care as best she can of the kids, rough life and the like. Heartend, Malak gives her 10 gold. This will feed them for a while. Grateful for the kind deed, she asks if she can repay him somehow.

Malak asks about the lightning strikes, Belli offers practical lessons. “"Who wants to learn some practical skills?! we can start with knitting and then get to fire!" Seriously, Belli’s gonna blow these kids’ minds.

Doreen guides Malak upstairs and leads him to a room upstairs. There’s a desk in one part of the room, multifunctional, a calendar and stuff.  There’s a single painting of a lake. This is Doreen’s room and her office space. Work place, dinner table and the only place she can get some privacy.

She’s still carrying Dave.

Malak scans the room with Detect Magic. A ring of Protection is on the table, given to Doreen by her late husband. 

"So kids anyone wants to learn magic or how to play an instrument", goes Belli downstairs.

Questioned about anything off recently, Doreen admits she’s been worrying about Cedric, one of the boys. He was attached to her brother and he never wants to talk to Doreen like with her brother.

It’s probably more of a personality thing. Malak learns that they got on like a house on fire. He was blunt with the kids and Cedric responded well to that.

“"Anyone want to fly? you have to be lighter then ten pounds"”

She mentions that Lord Arwen had come to visit, at least, mentions him by description. She didn’t trust him, though. He was asking similar questions, about the lightning and the children. He focused more on her, thinking she was doing something wrong.

By this point,  Belli has taught the kids “Baby Shark”.

Not all the kids are enthusiastic, though. One of the older kids, 7-8 year old being the loner. Slouching, hands in pockets. Belli talks with the boy, who introduces himself as Cedric.

He doesn’t know music and Belli tells him that’s ok. The two end up bonding over the ridicilously chonky boy that is Orion, the Familiar (and we make Sprinkle jokes ooc).

Good times.

Cedric admits he has a “friend”.

Bad times.

Her name is Cherry and he claims she’s not doing well.

They could always go and visit her, suggests Belli. But, according to Cedric, Doreen said they have to leave her alone.

Malak eventually rejoins Belli as she tells tales of the party’s adventures.

Mentioning Cherry to Doreen, Doreen can all but stare in confusion, having no fucking clue who that is.

Belli, followed by Malak, goes to check Cedric’s room and knocks. “Just a minute!” calls Cedric from inside.

Malak opens the door. He’s kneeling down in front of his bed, poured open a sack of his belongings and tears are welling up in his eyes.

And there we have it.

Mournimar stole his tome.

They ask about the book. They ask about Cherry.

Cherry’s real, but he gave her that name, because her skin’s the color of cherries.

“She’s not a tiefling. She, um.  She’s real and his friend, not feeling great, but doesn’t live here. “ Belli offers her services. Cedric explains that he’s been trying to summon her. And has killed cats and mice. All these storms that keep happening? It’s due to his failure.

Last time he heard her was a few nights back. She keeps wanting him to try until he does. She hasn’t told him right now where she is.

“She’s from the Feymind Zits- Err... Flaming Pitts?!”

Taking a knee, Malak has an “ I’ma be real with you, chief.” moment with the lad.  And he and Belli talk sense into the sad boy. Making him promise not to try and summon her anymore.

“You deserve better than someone, who only talks to you to get you to do something.” - Words of Wisdom by one, Belli Narah.

Malak asks if anyone else knows about the book, where he got the book from (no and Cherry, she taught him how to make it and stuff).

Can you tell me, as best you can remember, what the book looks like?”Black with a fire pattern at the bottom. It looks old, but the pages are still strong.

With Cedric’s promise, Belli passes some things over to him. Her Lute, as well as a piece of Platinum. She encourages him and gives him a gameplan to become a Bard. Making him, essentially, her apprentice.

They share a hug and the youngster gets a headpat.

“ Learn from Freddy Orcury’s works. “

Ignore Cherry, tell her to Fuck off. Cedric promisses to do this.

The party soon reunite in the center of the circle, after Belli and Malak take chase after the book. And bumping into Amelia and Mournimar, with Luctan and Ficus coming down from the roof after that.

The party  discuss what’s what and the options they have. Suggestions to outright burn the book are brought up, with Luctan pointing out that they should probably hand it over to Lord Arwen as proof of their work here.

This is essentially the tome of a Warlock. As in. Cedric had accidentally made a contract with a Fiend and become a Pact Of The Tome Warlock. Belli remembers a spell that transports people through planes, one of these spells has to do with it.

Thinking fast, right before the party make their leave, Belli transformed Orion into a fly and sent him to watch over young Cedric,in case something went down.

As the six head back to the spires to have their business transaction, Luctan is positively glowing over the party’s team work!

The talk is had and the party trade the tome for the agreed upon sum and extra for the tome, wich each party member getting 10 platinum pieces.

As we head off to study in the library for our Cherry exam, Lord Arwen mentions that Mountainsteel may have work for us. As he’s on our schedule, that may still occur...?

We go to the Lady Stormweaver National Library. Has a nice plack, marble stone ‘n  shit. Grand old building. It’s about the same size as the Echosmith Hall, so it’s a damn big building.

Walking in, there’s a hole in the ceiling with further floors up there.

After conversing with a gnomish man of age, named Podin, the party plans on what research materials to take.

Malak finds that there’s a demonic tome on the 3rd floor, which he learns from a tiefling woman that it once belonged to someone called “ Golgordonix”, an evil dragon, who , who attacked these lands a century ago. His tome, gifted to him by one of the 9 hells.

While the rest go to do their own research, be it about the Flaming Pits, Pacts and the like, we come to an end to the session.

Previous Episode / Next Episode

[littleandroidwrites]

a self para in shade claude dawoud

ft. hattie michaelson, because! imagine if i answered memes instead of doing flashback self paras. ugh i’d be too powerful.

It was dark, because it was late, but Claude wasn’t tired because when was he? Constant beast mode, twenty-four seven, three sixty fucking five.

Except, he was sitting down now, because Jesus Christ had he been lifting Hattie on and off for three hours.

“You’re not stretching.” Hattie said. Claude looked at her across from him on the mats, her legs out either side of her in a perfect split that Claude found both impressive and unnecessary. “If you don’t stretch, your muscles are going to –”

“Don’t lecture me about the body, Harriet.” Claude said, although notably he was now straightening from his slumped positioin, legs stretching out in front of himself. “I know all about the body.” 

Hattie didn’t respond to that, which he figured meant she was tired too. On top of their usual sessions, Aunt Alena had the both of them coming along to junior classes to do mini recitals for them, because some of the six year olds needed a little inspiration. I never needed inspiration, Hattie had said, but somehow it was still her and not Sloane who’d ended up getting roped into it. And Claude, because, well, he liked doing shit. Whether it was ballet or track or getting his loved ones in headlocks, Claude was only really fully himself when he was one hundred and ten percent something. Not one hundred and ten percent in something, but really it. When Claude danced, he was swift moving fluid that could snap into graceful lines at will. When Claude ran, he was a system made to pump adrenaline and move muscle to propel itself forward as quickly as possible. 

When Claude got people into headlocks – well actually in those moments, he was just being himself. But he was one hundred and ten percent himself, which was what mattered.

See, Hattie was like him in as much a way as someone who was entirely unlike him could be. Claude understood himself better through understanding his pseudo-cousin. Where he did things to expand, Hattie did things to contain. But they they still both felt an overwhelming desire to do, to keeping doing, to lose themselves inside of it. It was pure fucking chaos to Claude that when he jumped high into the air to do a sissonne, he had to make his body do exactly the opposite of what it wanted, to bend it into a beautiful shape, to make it land on one foot even though every instinct in his body was screaming you’re gonna break your fuckin’ leg. Hattie said she liked it because it meant she was in control. Claude knew that meant she thought sometimes she was gonna break a fucking leg, too. 

So anyway, here they were at eleven at night in the ballet studio that Aunt Alena had left them a key to. It was the third storey of a victorian-imitation building, which mostly just meant the rooms were big and echo-y and the floors were made of cherry wood. Mirrors lined one wall floor to ceiling, paned windows the other, and barres lined pretty much whatever free wall space was left. Street lights were a blur in the sky outside, dwarfed by the bright white light coming from a gentle hum above their heads. 

It seemed like kinda overkill to have the whole studio lit up like this just for the two of them, but a handful of hours ago there’d been a whole class of little kids, and then they’d kinda accidentally burned a few more hours practicing. Which wasn’t really that surprising to either of them. Claude was pretty sure Hattie didn’t spend a single second of her day doing nothing, which, samesies. That was why they always got along in a funny way. The difference was Claude still managed to have a life inside of his doing things. 

“Is Sloane still hanging around Paisley?” 

He bowed forward when he asked it, arms reaching for his toes. A familiar burn washed over the muscles of his lower back, and Claude went further, leaning into the sensation. 

“Hanging around.” He heard Hattie mumble. “Her girlfriend, you mean.” 

“Duh.” He sat back up, tucked his arm behind his head. 

“Yes. I think they’re fairly compatible, actually.” Hattie’s head angled to the left, followed by her torso, and she breathed into a side-stretch. “Sloane’s talking about moving in with her. I think they’re pretty serious.” 

Maybe, maybe not. Truth be told, Claude didn’t really care how serious Sloane was about her relationship. It was just that this was a good way to turn the topic around to that one time when Claude had been at Aunt Alena’s, and Paisley and her brother were there. 

And her sister.

“S’cute.” He said, because it was, right? Young love. And then, in a very casual way, “Does that mean River and Celeste are at yours all the time?” 

Now Hattie curled herself upright to frown at him. “Why would they be?” 

Claude shrugged. “Dunno. Aren’t your moms real close anyway? I thought maybe since a couple of their kids are together –”

“Not true.” Now Hattie listed forward slowly, hair falling in waves around her face before she fluidly came back up again. “I can’t be bothered to have a fake conversation with you. Say what you mean or be quiet.” 

“Dickhead. Can’t I just want to have a conversa–”

“Stop talking, Claude.” 

Fucks sake. He should’ve tried Sloane. “Fine. Fuck.” 

And they were quiet for a couple minutes. Eventually Claude got bored of stretching, leaned back on his elbows and settled for rolling his ankles. He noted that his leotard was too fucking close to his skin colour. Either he had to get a tan or he was buying green leggings. Maybe both. 

Except, now Hattie was looking at him.

“What?” 

“Nothing.”

“Liar! What?” 

“Well, obviously you want to know something about River or Celeste.” Hattie pursed her lips. “I’m just trying to figure out what.”

“I thought you were done with the conversation.”

“Done with you wasting my time, not caring what you had to say.” 

Aw. Claude smiled. “You fucking love me.” 

“I grew up with you. We see a lot of each other.” Hattie said it in the way that she said some things, like they were dismissals rather than just explanations. But Claude wasn’t gonna educate her on the spectrum of human emotion today. He was busy getting what he wanted. “Be honest. You’re interested in Celeste, aren’t you?” 

Celeste. It was such a pretty name. It fit her so well. Like celestial, like heavenly, like stars, like her eyes. 

He said, “Nah.” 

“Then River.”

“What? No.” 

Hattie’s expression turned smug. “So you do like Celeste.” 

“Didn’t I just say no to both?”

“Yes, but you were more incredulous when I asked you about River. Which either means on some level you were already comfortable with the idea of liking Celeste and therefore your reaction was more muted to that suggestion, or you’re a homophobe.” 

“Fuck off! I’m not a homophobe.” Claude sat up, scowling. “My dad’s gay. Both of my dads are gay! And I tell my guy friends I love them all the time!”

Hattie nodded. “So you like Celeste.”

“No!” Claude insisted. Hattie raised her eyebrows. “No.” She raised them higher. “Okay, so?!” 

Hattie sighed. “If you’d just trusted me to begin with, I wouldn’t have had to manipulate you like that. And for the record, saying you don’t like a man doesn’t make you a homophobe.” 

Claude grumbled, “I know that.” 

She shrugged. “Just so we’re on the same page.” 

Fucking Hattie. If she were so smart she would’ve known Claude had been obsessed with Celeste since they were sophmores, anyway. But then again she wasn’t great at those kinds of things, people things. She could tell you the square root of one thousand and forty eight (did all numbers have a square root or just special ones? Fuck if Claude had ever paid attention in, what was it, geometry?) in under five seconds, but put her in the middle of a crowded room with no structure or expectation to deliver a presentation on the solar system, and she was lost. 

He guessed he should give her a break. This was probably a big revelation to her. Maybe he was proud she knew people even liked other people at all. 

“What was it you wanted to know about her, then?” She asked, folding her legs criss-cross applesauce. 

Claude shrugged, easing back onto his palms. He was being coy, of course. He knew what he wanted to hear about. “I don’t know. Just wondered what she was up to. Hey, is she still seeing –”

“She’s still with Sebastian.” 

“Fucks sake.” 

“Yes. I think it’s been,” Hattie paused briefly to frown at the ceiling. “Four and a half years.” 

“They gotta be stale by now.” Claude muttered, which Hattie rolled her eyes at. “Seriously. Who dates someone when they’re fifteen and keeps the magic alive?” 

Hattie pursed her lips. “Sebastian’s nice. Some people like that.”

He scowled. “What would you know about Bash?” 

“Well, he was on the row team all through high school, and he still does it in college, which takes a lot of discipline –”

“Like I haven’t been doing ballet since I was a fucking baby.” 

“— and when I was sick for a week in junior year, he brought me the homework and gave me his notes.” Hattie smiled. “Which was very courteous.” 

He said flatly, “And you somehow stopped yourself from jumping his bones.” 

“I think what I’m communicating to you, Claude,” Oh, she sounded stern. She didn’t like his joke. “Is that there’s very little crossover between you and Sebastian. And even if there was, Celeste seems very happy with him, so I doubt you’d have a chance regardless.” 

Shit news. The same shitty news he’d been getting for years now. 

But Claude could fucking rally. “I have a class with her this year, though. Maybe they’ll be broken up by then.” 

Hattie was getting to her feet. “Unlikely.” 

“Look, science-fucker, isn’t that the whole point of the old man’s cat? Until you see the situation, it has an equal chance of being and not fucking being. Ergo,” Now he was speaking her language, “Celeste has equally dumped and not dumped Bash. I just gotta get in there on the dumped side of things.” 

The look Hatte was giving him was one of – you know what? Claude was gonna call it admiration. 

“Schrodinger’s cat, and that’s not really how it works, no. It’s about the observed electron –”

Claude started getting to his feet, too. “Sparknotes, Harriet.”

“Well, we’ve all observed that they’re together, so as long as you’re causing pandemonium in this timeline? I think you’re out of luck.” 

He grabbed his bag and then Hattie’s, mostly because he knew how much she hated it when he tried to carry her shit for her. He threw them both over his shoulder, even as she tried to grab at hers. 

“So if it’s about being observed,” He said, walking to the door at a very casual pace as Hattie tugged him backward by the straps of their bags, “Then something else can happen unobserved.” 

“You don’t understand Shrodinger’s cat, Claude, stop acting like you d –”

“So maybe she can be with him and not be with him. When no one’s looking. You know?” That was a window.

He’d take that.

[nightcoremoon]

ok so let's talk twilight. girl meets vampire. girl falls in love with vampire. vampire falls in love with girl. girl and vampire start dating. evil vampire wants to eat girl. vampire kills evil vampire.

new moon. vampire leaves girl. girl gets depressed. girl rebounds with werewolf. werewolf wants to fuck girl. werewolf realizes he's the rebound. werewolf leaves girl. girl seemingly attempts suicide. vampire learns about this and attempts suicide. girl goes to tell him she's not dead. vampire king gives a warning.

eclipse. vampire and girl are back together. evil vampire girlfriend wants revenge. evil vampire girlfriend makes evil vampire army. vampires and werewolves kill evil vampire and army. vampire king gives another warning. vampire marries girl.

breaking dawn. vampire and girl get married. and fuck. girl gets pregnant. baby will kill girl. but abortion is ~evil~. girl dies and gets turned into vampire. werewolf wants to fuck the baby vampire. vampire king shows up to kill the baby. it was a big misunderstanding lol. happily ever after except for the people who died.

that's the gist of things for anyone who doesn't remember.

ok so there's two groups of people. team edward, people who are satisfied with the canon. team jacob, people who say "fuck that, girl should be with werewolf instead". and many people on team jacob proceed to say that team edward all condone pedophilia and stalking and other terrible things. fandom wars happened. and in the end, most people moved on.

...

but not me.

now, I wasn't an obsessed super fan. I thought the first book was boring as shit until the second half. it took me a month to read the first half and three days to read the second half. I read the entire second in literally one day. the entire third in like 3 days. and the entire fourth in like 5. I watched all the movies in theaters. but none of this was by choice. my mom and my several sisters basically made me, but it was okay I guess. personally my fandom progression started with final fantasy 12. it moved into eragon, death note, jak and daxter, avatar the last airbender, invader zim, tales of symphonia, a dash of harry potter, sly cooper, my little pony friendship is magic, dead space, red vs blue, twokinds, resident evil, etc. I'm not in the twilight fandom by choice, but I know all the lore and trivia so fuck it. I might as well be.

I'm team edward.

I know what you're thinking. "but he's 100 years old trying to fuck a teenager! he watched her sleep! he almost killed her drinking her blood! he made her suicidal and depressed! he was super jealous and possessive whenever jacob was around! he broke her bones when they had sex! he impregated her with a monster baby that killed her! HE IS TEH EVILEST EVAR!!1"

let's take this one piece at a time.

1- he didn't try to fuck her. she tried to fuck him. but he said not until she's a full grown adult capable of making her own decisions, and not until marriage ~because premarital sex is wrong~

2- yeah watching her sleep was a little creepy but we can attribute that to stephenie meyer thought it was romantic because she's a dumb white mormon cultist

3- he is a VAMPIRE, and not by choice. and it was either suck the poison out of bella or let her become a vampire. which he didn't want to happen because ~being a vampire sucks 🥁~ so yeah he saved her life. and he managed to not drain her dry and kill her even though her blood is so goddamn delicious because she's a fucking mary sue

4- he didn't make her suicidal and depressed by leaving the country so she didn't get in any life threatening situations like being around jasper who has the self control of a fat kid in a twinkie factory. bella just took the breakup really really badly, and if someone reacts badly to a breakup, it's on THEM, not the other person. saying any differently is, what's the word, toxic and clingy. her emotional instability for plot is just indicative of the author's inherent misogyny (which makes sense, as dumbass mormon cultists are rife with the stuff)

5- he was not jealous and possessive. JACOB was the one who was toxic, since "that cold one will TAKE MY BELLA AWAY FROM ME". jacob wanted bella for himself because he had a crush on her since they were kids, and it was a super unhealthy obsession. edward could read his thoughts and was pissed; consider his backstory in hearing potential rapists' thoughts and killing them. but edward couldn't kill jacob because he was bella's friend. nothing more, though, and jacob fumed in his nice guy fedora

6- again, edward is a VAMPIRE, and a horny bastard at that, because he is a gentleman and therefore probably was a virgin too. he even told bella countless times that it would happen but bella thought it was #WORTH to get some of that hot vampire dick. I guess she's into some super kinky shit. no wonder 50 shades of grey made sense as a twilight fanfiction. anyway, bella seems to have fully consented, otherwise she's the world's most unreliable narrator.

7- the monster baby plot arc was propaganda against female bodily autonomy because "teh babby haz a SOUL and abortion is MURDER even tho she'll LITERALLY DIE otherwise but hey backwoods redneck mormon values are more important than the lives of women, right? anyway, ironically enough, he respected her bodily autonomy by not fixing the mistake he didn't think could happen (uterus vampires can't get pregnant but dick vampires can get other people pregnant? NANI, THE FUCK???) because bella didn't consent to him killing the fetus that was literally breaking her bones from inside since ~abortion is wrooOOoong~

and now, counterpoint.

...and counter-counterpoint.

"edward groomed bella" edward's main focus when she was 16 was to not kill her and drink the delicious cherry fanta, and his main focus at 17 was to make sure she didn't die and that nobody else killed her and drank her delicious cherry fanta, and only when she was a full ass adult was he like "alright fine you wanna marry me sooooo bad here's ur fuckin diamond ring". yeah they made out but like, consider that a FUCKING MORMON WROTE THIS BOOK. one can't fault a character for the dumbassery of the author. that's why in this house we stan james potter. and besides, a few years ago whilst playing truth or dare I at 21 was dared to kiss a 17 year old and I did- granted I didn't know he was 17 at the time but that doesn't even matter because granted edward was a lot older than 21, but granted that doesn't even matter anyways because you know how many teenage girls would make out with oscar wilde, keanu reeves, chris evans, or danny devito jason momoa if they had the chance? I know I would have. it isn't necessarily sexual unless you want it to be. besides, the argument could be made that brain development stops when you become a vampire, considering their body stops developing too. technically edward had the brain and body of a 17 year old, he was just 17 for a long time. so any way you slice it, there are acceptable explanations justifying this in the magic fantasy land of what-ifs and JUST BAD WRITING.

we good?

now let's tackle jacob.

he demanded she "choose" him over edward. he was just as childish and petty as mike. oh, poor mike. he was just too dumb. SWM be like. anyway, he literally abandoned her, his friend, because she wouldn't fuck him, when she needed her best friend the most. because that's who jacob was to her. he was her best friend. she kinda ignored him because edward is smexy and it overpowered her tiny teenage girl brain, or at least that's the author's excuse (yay for internalized misogyny). when they were in the mountains and he was keeping her from dying of hypothermia edward literally had to ask him to stop thinking about fucking her. while she was unconscious. which is kinda rapey. and then to top it all off, he wanted to fuck her baby daughter. so jacob is literally every single thing people called edward. he is jealous, possessive, creepy, obsessed with bella, and a whole bunch of other stereotypes associated with brown skinned man wanting to fuck white skinned women.

...

...

...

oh dear god.

wow I can't believe that the white woman who took an existing native american tribe and rewrote their culture to fit her vampire love story for white girls to have a sexy ~exotic~ savage feral werewolf boy in the love triangle turned out to be a racist all along.

so ideally, jacob would be the ideal partner for bella. lore-wise as well. bella and jacob grow old together in their plain regular normal human lives (and hopefully bella's face doesn't get clawed off like sam and leah BIG OOF FOR THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE), edward and tanya get married like they were supposed to do all along and gallivant off and do vampire things, all that jazz. edward isn't creepy and weird, bella isn't a magic mary sue with a magic fucking jean grey mind shield, jacob isnt an asshole.

but after reading the books and the evidence provided, I cannot in good conscience be team jacob over team edward.

thank you for your time.

fuck stephenie meyer.

and fuck all the dudebros who dog on girls for liking twilight anyways, as if dudebros don't watch and consume shitty media all the time.

[svbcritic]

ok  wow  don’t  mind  this  being  late  of  an  intro  bc  i  was  out  w  my  friend  and  have  poor  time  management  skills  jdfks  .  i’m  stuck  at  work  rn  so  hopefully  this  intro  has  smth  of  substance  in  it  for  my  boy  hobgoblin  boy  charlie  ..  but  yes  !!  hello  all  i’m  cherrie  and  under  the  read  more  will  be  some  info  on  my  boy  so  sorry  in  advance  if  there’s  any  ramblings  ..  i  just  have  a  tendency  to  never  shut  up  dsjfnk  .  but  feel  free  2  tap  the  lil  heart  if  u  wanna  plot  and  i’ll  pop  over  into  ur  im’s  !!

brindle  bay  welcomes  charles  “charlie”  kim  the  twenty-one  year  old  podcaster.  i  kind  of  think  he looks  a  lot  like  wong  yukhei.  they  have  been  living  in  east  bay  suburbs  for  5  years  and  i  heard  they  are  known  to  be  amiable  but  also  impetuous.  when  i  think  of  them  i  think  of  unapologetic  laughter,  headphones  hung  around  the  neck,  and  a  collection  of  pastel  denim  jackets.

STATS

full chinese name: jin ximen / americanized name: charles kim / nicknames: charlie / ethnicity: chinese & thai / sexuality: bisexual / occupation: true crime podcaster / spoken languages: mandarin, thai, english, korean & spanish / hogwarts house: slytherin

BIOGRAPHY

okie dokie so charlie ( born ximen ) is the youngest of the four kids between his parents born and riased in shanghai and their wedding was some big event bc both families were heavily affluent and prominent in their home countries

charlie’s dad hailed from shanghai, china where his family had a long lineage of old money and a 5 star international hotel chain that’s comparable to the four seasons .. meanwhile charlie’s mom is from thailand where her family has ties to the oil industry which is how they built their wealth .. their marriage was more political than anything and wanting to combine their wealth in industries the other was lacking in

as the youngest kid and the only boy with three older sisters, charlie never lacked a caregiver bc he was an adorable little boy who charmed whoever he met and though he was a little shit, his sisters loved him and helped raise him alongside a clan of nannies that his parents hired when they were busy off on different continents running their respective businesses

charlie definitely was more of a mommy’s boy in the sense that his mom made more of an effort to spend time with him bc as her only son, she held him on a pedestal and since she was a well known fashion designer, she often brought charlie to her studio and let him run wild in some of the garments and clothing that was in storage and whatnot

from this charlie had a lil mini modeling career ( lmao not really ) where he would do mock photoshoots with some of the models in his mom’s bridal collections and eventually bc he was adorable and everyone loved him, they dressed him in some mini tuxes and he appeared in some campaigns for his mom’s bridal collection 

generally though charlie was an exuberant kid who often had more energy than he knew what to do with and that often had him getting in trouble at the expensive prep school his parents had him enrolled in . which he frequently was scolded by his dad for his hellion behavior jdsklafjd

so it was a constant push and pull between charlie and his dad in trying to calm down his son .. which wyd he;s just a happy go lucky boy hsalkjf but anyway charlie was eventually enrolled in a soccer club so he could wear himself out by running all the time and tbh it kinda worked .. but also charlie actually enjoyed soccer so it worked out

his dad really thought he did something by keeping his teenage son out of trouble and letting him build teamwork skills ig ... mainly bc he wanted his only son to take over the jin empire of their hotel chain even though charlie was like :/ .. and his mom was a bit :/ bc she knew charlie wasn’t the type who would want the weight of this empire on his shoulders even though his oldest sister was more experienced

but fun times for dad bc lit it’s w his soccer friends that charlie realizes that whatever heterosexuality is .. that ain’t him sdjldkjs but yeah he finds out that he’s into guys just as much as he’s into girls and he has a crush on one of his best friends on the soccer team w him

charlie was able to disguise his crush as a solid bro friendship around his dad meanwhile him and his friend were leaning on the scale of more than friends and 10/10 were making out whenever they were alone so yeah ... things were swaggy for the first three months until charlie’s dad came home early from his trip from new york and walked into charlie’s room to see him fooling around with his friend

so yeah ... things didn’t go great after that and the jin household was so painfully tense where his dad refused to go on any international trips and kept a strong grip on charlie and pulled him out of his school’s soccer team .. it was a tough time and definitely miserable for charlie despite his mom’s best efforts to help soothe him

nearly a month following The Incident ( as he dad refers to it as ) he announced that 16 year old charlie was going to live with his aunt over in america and it was an absolute shit show at the house when his dad broke the news but the next day charlie found himself on a direct flight from shanghai to brindle bay where his aunt lives with her american husband and son

the move was a big adjustment for charlie and it was here that he started going by charlie bc the kids at his new school couldn’t pronounce ximen . originally he was a bit standoffish and reclusive bc his english was still shaky and he had an accent so this combination of things made him a target of some shitty xenophobic bullies and it put him down for a bit

it was a dark period that charlie doesn’t like to think back on and relied on the friendship he established with his cousin and it was through him that charlie began to blossom in brindle bay and make his own connections and realized that his dad is a dumbass bc he essentially sent him away for being into men but lmao !! sike dad !! bc now he gets to kiss boys if he wants without the rope around his neck from his dad

it’s been five years since charlie has been shipped to brindle bay and he keeps in contact with his sisters and mother and has visited shanghai a few times for some holidays and lets his dad think him being in america has helped him become more sensible and learn responsibility

when he graduated high school his mom offered to have him come home but charlie decided he wanted to stay more away from his dad for the time beginning and enrolled in college and got his degree in communication studies

it’s when he’s in school that he starts up his own podcast where he just discusses true crime and paranormal stories and such just bc it’s always been an interest of his .. he started it with his close friend that was his first Official friend in brindle bay and they’re two years into and it’s growing a strong listening base on spotify and apple music .. for comparison sake it’s a mix of buzzfeed unsolved and my favorite murder

but yeah overall charlie is an easy going guy who is usually seen with a smile on his face and just v fun loving , charismatic and loves talking to ppl ?? comes off v flirty but that’s just who he is bc he has that kinda vibe .. sometimes he doesn’t even realize he’s flirting bc it comes like breathing . he means well and is a soft boy who misses his family but is scared to go back home to china officially

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone who helped show charlie around when he first came to brindle bay and maybe they built a friendship from it

someone who maybe helped him improve on his english when he first came to town and charlie is forever grateful to them and feels indebted to them for being there for him when he was self conscious and needed help

his first relationship .. p self explanatory but charlie and your muse dated for a bit and it was nice and sweet but things ended amicably between the two and they still remain friends

maybe one or two fwb’s that charlie respects their friendship and somehow their arrangement happened and things are going good and having someone on call when he’s feeling needy is a+ .. whether or not smth angsty can stem from this can be debated

his first friend that he made when coming to town and charlie’s podcast buddy !!

maybe someone who has a crush on charlie but he’s stupid and oblivious and his flirting that comes as easy as breathing doesn’t help the situation

a good influence

a bad influence who is helping charlie embrace more of his hellion ways hfskd

or even someone who knows of his family’s wealth back in china and is trying to finagle their way into charlie’s good graces and hopefully try to get a cut of it

[letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked]

New Beginnings (Part 3)

Frank Adler X Annie O’Hara

A/N: I am really enjoying this series and have a lot of plans for it! Stay tuned!

Warnings: Angst. Talks of stalking. Swearing. All that.

Main Masterlist // Series Masterlist

  Not again.

Annie’s eyes pricked with tears, heart hammering in her chest as she remembered when she was told about her parents accident. “Is he alive?” She whispered, a tear streaming down her face as she fought for control of her breath. “Grace. Is Gavin alive?”

“I don’t know.” She sobbed. God, Annie wished that she was in North Dakota to give the poor girl a hug and comfort her. Not across the fucking country. “I got a call from the hospital fifteen minutes ago. I just- I just got here, and no one will tell me anything. They made me sit in a- a room and wait.” She heard the sound of Grace blowing her nose for a moment, “I couldn’t just… sit in here, by myself. I needed to talk to somebody.”

“Keep me on the phone when the doctor comes in, okay?” Annie replied, taking a deep breath through her nose - exhaling it out, slowly. “I want to know what they say.”

“I will.” She croaked, breaking Annie’s heart. She could hear the panic in Grace’s trembling breaths, as the frequency of her breaths increased dramatically. “I just… I don’t…”

“Honey, breathe, okay?” Annie ordered, concern squeezing her chest like a stress ball, “Inhale. Five seconds. Through your nose. Now.” She heard Grace comply, the sound being the only thing she could hear through the phone. “Now hold it for a moment… Good, good. Okay, now blow it through your mouth for seven seconds.” She counted aloud, guiding Grace along so she didn’t send herself into a panic attack. “Keep going, sweetheart, you’re doing great. One more.”

Annie hopped off the couch, jogging to her kitchen and digging through the junk drawer by the back door, where she kept her emergency smokes and ash tray. She wasn’t a usual smoker, but… She needed to remain fucking calm, so Grace wasn’t a mess when the doctors came to talk to her.

Focusing on smoking, versus focusing on her impending panic attack… seemed like the better option, at the time.

She was absolutely fucking terrified that she was going to lose yet another family member to a car accident… and she didn’t want to find out when she was across the country from Grace and her brother.

Throwing open the door, hands full, she stepped out into the sun – thankful that the hot sun warmed her chilled bones – and plopped down onto her cement steps. No one was out in their yards, anymore, so it was nice for her to get a little bit of privacy. She wanted to hear from the doctors before she told anyone – like Roberta, or Dorothy, the elderly neighbor who baked a lot of banana bread – what was going on.

That way, she could gather her damn wits.

“Where’s Elena?” Grace finally asked, as Annie pulled a smoke from the pack with a trembling hand. “How is she? Gavin showed me the picture you sent him, yesterday, of her and the blonde little girl.”

“Elena’s taking a nap. Her little tired butt needed it.” Annie’s lips lifted in a small smile, as she stuck the filter in her mouth, lighting the other end with a long inhale – nicotine rushing into her system, “Also, the little girl in the photo… that’s Mary. She’s one of the neighbors. She’s cute. Smart as shit, too.” Annie blew the rest of the smoke into the air, thankful that there was a slight breeze to carry it away. “Elena loves her, already.”

“Sounds like you do, too.” Grace chuckled, voice starting to sound a little lighter over the phone. Though, Annie was pretty sure Grace was just trying to stay positive in the shitty situation they were stuck in. The small talk was something to pass the time until the doctors came, and Annie was more than willing to oblige her. “Who was the hot guy in the background of the photo?”

“I can see where your mind is going, and I’m gunna’ have to tell you to shut your damn mouth.” Annie chuckled, breathing in another drag of smoke and blowing it in the breeze – watching it dissipate as it wafted further away. “Anyways, that’s her uncle. Frank. He’s her guardian. We kind of got off on the wrong foot, but he felt bad and apologized. He’s the guy who helped me get the furniture in the house, so I didn’t have to hire anyone.”

“That… sounds like the beginning of a bad porn.”

“No! You’re awful!” Annie laughed, stubbing out the short smoke – grabbing the little monitor to check on Elena. Thankfully, she was still asleep. “He’s a nice guy, though. Loves that girl to death.”

“By the way, I’ve been meaning to give you shit about this for a while, now.” Her voice was laced with humor, and Annie rolled her eyes – knowing exactly what was coming. “A pink house? Pink? Like… Barbie pink? Why?”

“Shut up! It was the first one I found that was reasonably priced, but not a dump.” Annie defended, scoffing at her. “It’s cute… like a Barbie house.”

“It looks like a trash version of a Barbie dream house.” Grace laughed loudly, making Annie smile. “And the other houses! They’re no better! Yellow? Baby blue? Green?”

“They’re eclectic!” Annie grinned, looking back at her pink house with pride. “I happen to think it’s cute.”

“You were always a little strange…” Grace’s laugh cut off suddenly, and Annie could hear voices from the other end of the phone – causing her to straighten her back in anticipation. “Annie, the doctors are here. I’m gunna’ put the phone on speaker, okay?”

“Sounds good.” Annie gulped, lighting another smoke with shaking hands. She waited to talk, while the doctor was introducing themselves to Grace. “So… is Gavin alive?”

“Yes, he’s alive.” Annie heard a man’s voice from over the line, as her shoulders sagged in relief. “You’re the sister? Annie? I’m Doctor Roberts. I’m the one who treated your brother.”

“Yeah. I am.” Annie let out a small sigh, watching the curls of smoke from the cherry of the cigarette. Her hand was starting to tremble. “How hurt is he?”

“He’s sustained a few injuries.” He informed them, and Annie heard the flipping of pages over the line. “He has a concussion, so we want to monitor him overnight. Along with some bruised ribs, a fractured arm, a dislocated shoulder, and some whiplash from the accident. Plus, some cuts and bruises from the airbags. Once we monitor him overnight, he’s free to go.”

Before Annie could stop herself, she let out a sob of relief – closing her eyes as the tears she’d been holding back rushed down her face. “That’s… a lot better than I was expecting.”

“Sorry, it’s just… we’ve already had deaths in the family from a car accident.” She heard Grace’s hoarse voice inform him. “Do… we know what caused the accident?”

“Well…” The doctor’s voice tensed, leaving a pit in Annie’s stomach. “I’m going to have to let the investigator tell you the details… but… I heard that his brakes had been tampered with.”

“What?!” Annie shrieked, eyes flying open in shock. She caught movement in the corner of her eye, and saw Frank standing by his truck, glancing over confused. “What do you mean ‘tampered with’? Someone caused the accident?”

“Whatthefuck…” She heard Grace whisper under her breath.

“Unfortunately, that’s all I know.” He replied, and she heard the squeak of a door over the line, as the doctor began to leave. “The investigator is in with him, now, if you want me to take you to him.”

“Yes, please.” Grace said, quickly, and Annie heard shuffling as Grace gathered her things. “Can I bring the phone in with me?”

“Unfortunately, no.”

“That’s okay, Grace. Find out all you can, and call me back, okay?” Annie replied with a sniff, swiping a stray hair away from her face and taking a hard puff off her smoke.

“I will.” Grace sniffled, which put a lump in Annie’s throat. “I love you, okay? I’ll call as soon as I know.”

“Love you, too, sweetheart.” Another tear fell from Annie’s eye, as she heard footsteps close to her. She glanced over, as Frank walked up to where she was sitting – holding up two beers. Annie gave him a small smile, patting the step next to her as she switched hands, so the cigarette wasn’t in Frank’s face. “Call your mom, too, okay? Have her get you some things and bring them to the hospital. Gavin’s birth certificate and insurance information is in the safe. Let me know if you need anything.”

As the girls hung up, Annie placed her phone gently on the step – glancing at a sleeping Elena on the baby monitor with shaking hands.

It was quiet as Frank opened the two beer bottles with a pop.

She glanced over at him, taking the cold beer with a nod of thanks as he took a sip of his own. Pulling her legs up to her chest, she took a small sip of the bitter beer, the cold liquid cooling her throat. She wiped her face, fingers faintly smelling like Marlboros, and pushing that single, pesky flyaway hair – that kept escaping her stupid bun – back into place.

The silence was nice, as Annie’s mind was going fucking wild. She kept picturing Gavin under a sheet, like she’d seen her parents when she’d had to identify the bodies. She imagined the bulky outline, the stillness, the cold… It was something that she’d always tried to push to the depths of her mind, locking it away in a safe to never be seen again. Seeing the pale, bruised faces of her dead parents was something that would never leave her. Ever.

That didn’t mean that it didn’t randomly escape – seeping through the confines of the metaphorical safe, and completely fucking with her compartmentalization.

Gavin was supposed to be the safe one.

She was supposed to out-live her little brother, and he was supposed to be the one who didn’t have bad shit happen to him.

He’s alive. He’s going to be okay. It’s only minor injuries.

It could’ve been so much worse.

He’s okay.

She repeated the last phrase in her mind – over and over again – until the image morphed into Gavin sitting in a hospital bed, holding his girlfriend’s hand and assuring her that he was alright.

…But she still wasn’t there.

“My brother was in an accident.” She finally croaked out, taking a large gulp from the cold bottle. “His brakes were tampered with.”

“I heard that part.” He replied, voice quiet. His face was sympathetic, as he scratched at his beard and turned to watch her. “He okay?”

“As okay as he can be.” Her voice broke, tears welling up in her eyes and fighting to spill over. “His girlfriend called me. We-” She sucked in a trembling breath, the tears winning the fight and streaking down her damp cheeks. “We didn’t know if he was alive, for a moment, there.” Her tears dripped off her chin, and she quickly tried to swipe them away with her free hand – embarrassed that she was crying in front of her cute neighbor. “He’s… he’s such a good kid. Who would fucking tamper with his brakes?”

“I’m sorry.” Frank murmured, breathing out a sigh of sympathy.

He reached out a hesitant hand, slowly grasping Annie’s free, trembling hand in his warm one. The temperature difference was startling, but she welcomed the warmth – though she continued to stare out at the grass, watching it rustle in the slight breeze. Tears blurred the scene – muddling the different greens together – and she blinked them away, focusing on the feeling of Frank’s warm hand and each tear sliding down her cheeks.

How could this happen? Gavin was one of the most charismatic, nice guys she’d ever encountered. He took after their father. There was no way that he would have upset someone so badly that they would attempt to seriously hurt – or kill – him. He was the type of guy that would have drove someone to… that…

Oh god.

What if…

“Oh, no.” Annie sighed, placing her bottle down on the concrete step and covering her face with the chilled hand. “It… oh no.”

“What?” Frank asked, squeezing her hand gently, as she lowered her covered face to her knees. “What is it?”

“It’s me. It has to be.”

“I don’t follow.” He replied, confused, “How is it you?”

“It’s him.” She whispered, connecting the dots. Having Gavin in an accident the same day that she received the letter? It had to be connected. It had to be. There was no way it wasn’t connected. It wasn’t just coincidental. “Holy fuck. Oh, no.”

“Who?”

Clearing her throat, Annie forced back a wave of nausea, which was a regular feeling when she thought about the psycho that was – for some reason – obsessed with her. “It… it started back in high school…” She began, before spilling her entire guts out to Frank.

She told him about the flowers, the letters, the gifts… everything. She told him about the note she’d received that very same day, bringing in a whole new wave of fear at the possibility of this person never leaving her alone. Then, not even an hour later, she received the call about Gavin. It was too much of a coincidence. Too much. “What if… what if he never leaves me alone? What if I’m stuck with this person, one who I don’t even know, for the rest of my life?”

“You’ve talked to the police?” He asked, having turned to face her, dark brows pulled together in concern. “Have you notified the police here?”

“What are they going to do that the police in Minnesota couldn’t?” She finished the last of her beer, which had started to get warm from sitting in the sun. Setting the empty bottle down next to her ash tray, she laid her head back in her lap. “This… this is all my fault.”

“That’s not true. Not in the slightest.” He scoffed, tightening his hand around hers, “It’s his. You aren’t the blame in this.”

She had to admit… talking to Frank made her feel a bit better. She was prepared to shoulder all this on her own – not wanting to worry Gavin or Gracie – but having someone to talk to helped tremendously. It was as if being able to talk about it lifted a large weight off her shoulders, freeing her from the ever-growing headache that she was getting from this person.

She never talked about it, unless it was someone she was close to. It was nice to have someone new to talk with, because she felt like a broken record to the people who were already aware of the situation.

It couldn’t be the only thing people would associate her with. She wouldn’t allow it.

She slowly blew out a breath, as if she was still smoking a cigarette, and turned to Frank – meeting his light eyes, that were soft with concern. “Thank you, Frank. Honestly. You kinda’ saved me from a stress-induced headache, or panic attack.”

“I’m a regular hero.” He chuckled, eyes crinkling as he smiled – showing off his straight, white teeth. “Thanks for watching Mary, this morning.”

“No problemo.” She grinned, picking up the monitor to make sure Elena was still sleeping. “Anyways, she’s a good kid. I like talking to her. Sometimes I forget that she’s only an eight year old.” Annie shook her head, laughing, “You know she offered to do my taxes in the spring. For free, nonetheless.”

He laughed loudly, shoulders shaking with each laugh, “Roberta buys her one book and suddenly she’s a tax expert.”

His laugh was infectious, and it was nice to see him smile. His smiles were usually reserved for Mary, and sometimes Roberta. It was cute. His light blue eyes crinkled in the corners, and his entire face lit up. His pink lips were pulled up, over his perfectly white teeth and she admired the way his tanned skin was glowing in the afternoon sun. Annie found herself admiring him for a little too long, which he – thankfully – didn’t notice.

She giggled along with him, turning her head and noticing Roberta peeking through her curtains. “So, where is Mary?”

“Roberta’s.” He replied, brushing his free hand through his tousled hair – reminding Annie that she was still holding his hand, and that this thumb was absentmindedly brushing against her knuckles. “We’re having a big dinner, if you’re interested in joining us? Roberta wouldn’t mind.”

“I might just take you up on that offer.” She grinned, heart fluttering in her chest. Stop that, heart. No. Knock it off. Stop blushing, Annie! “I’ll make some dessert. I’ve been meaning to start baking again.”

“You like to bake?”

“I like to bake and cook… all that jazz.” She shrugged, swiping at the annoying stray hair, again. “My mom and I used to hang out in the kitchen, all the time.” She cleared her throat, awkwardly, realizing that she’d just brought her dead mother into a conversation. “My… my dad used to complain that we were making him fat. Said he needed to start working out, again. So, we started doing bake sales and throwing dinner parties, to compensate.”

“Sounds like you had a great relationship with your parents.” He had a small smile on his face, but his eyes were suddenly far away. “Must have been nice.”

“It was.” She squeezed his hand, gently, glancing over at him for a moment before noticing that both Roberta and Mary were creeping from Roberta’s window. She didn’t want to overstep, so she didn’t say anything about what Mary had told her about the court case, or Frank’s sister. “They’re creeping on us from the window.”

“What?” He jumped up, gently pulling his hand from hers before glancing at Roberta’s house. “Oh. Great.”

The skin of Annie’s hand tingled, and she immediately missed the warmth and comfort of his hand. Stop it, Annie. “They’ve been watching for at least five minutes… probably wondering what I was freaking out about.”

“Are you okay?” He turned to her with soft eyes. She didn’t miss the way that his hand twitched towards hers before he shoved them in his pockets. “You can – you know, if you need to – you can come to me if you need someone to talk to.”

“Thanks, Frank.” She stood, shooting him a small smile before picking up the empty bottles and tossing them in the recycling bin by the door. She really needed to find a spot for that. “You – you, too… I mean… If you need it, you know. You’re… always welcome. If the lights are on, all you gotta’ do is knock.”

He raised an eyebrow, as she completely stuttered through that sentence – and she cursed herself, internally. “Your accent was really thick, there. Canada, right?” He grinned, fully freaking knowing where the heck Annie was from.

“Minnesota!” She groaned, rolling her eyes and gathering her items off the steps. “Says the guy with the Boston accent. You make khakis and car keys sound the same, fool.”

“Minnesooooooooo-da.” He mocked, casually walking towards Roberta’s, snickering to himself.

“You’re hilarious.” She grumbled to herself, blush warming her cheeks and neck. “See you later, Frank.”

When Annie entered her home, she slammed the doors closed, tossing her items onto the counter with a small groan. Shit. She leaned against the wall, sliding down so she was sitting on the floor with her head in her hands. “This isn’t good.” She whispered to herself, banging her head against the wall in frustration. “Ow…”

Flashes of Frank laughing played behind her closed eyes, and her knuckles tingled from the memory of his thumb brushing across the skin. She felt a flutter in her stomach, and she sighed – loudly – leaning her head back against the wall and staring at her cupboards in disdain. She couldn’t feel all fluttery. She just got out of a relationship with Lance. She just moved to Florida.

She just…

Dammit.

She had the hots for Frank.

Part 4

-------------------

TAGLISTS ARE OPEN!

---------------------

FOREVER TAGS: (OPEN)

@bettercallsabs @itsanerdlife @luckynumber1213@sassyandclassyx@mrsnegan25 @impossiblepizzapeace @glitterquadricorn @pigwidgexn @iamnothereimnotlistening @saltymaddiee @ladyxred @pabegay1@kgbrenner@nataliehasgrace @mellorine-paprika @i-just-wanna-run-hell@igiveupicantthinkofausername@goshdarnitthatsalongname @trashimaginezblog @ssweet-empowerment@thefridgeismybestie@wildefire @httpmcrvel @geeksareunique@whatmakesmebeme-tblr @breezy1415 @saltyy-fresh @artemis521@usetheforce3434@aparadoxsstuff @iamwarrenspeace @gaining-confidence-for-life@come-with-me-and-imagine @courtneychicken@impalatobakerstreet@tbetz0341 @softlysgtbarnes @castellandiangelo @churchs-little-girl@sophiealiice @jurassicjosie @punkrockhufflefluff@thatoneboredkidhelp @riseabovetheexpectations @revivedrumble @cordelia-sagewright @readeity @fuckthatfeeling@greeneyedsuccubunny@theglowstickofdestiny @krazyk99@demonspawn2468 @randomfangirl101things @iamzion-therealhabesha @wildlingsandcoffee @the-criminal-soldier@purpstraw@wordlesscaptain @a–1–1–3 @pheonixfoundation @xxxunluvablexxx @ilovetvshowsblog @bojabee @me-myself-and-i-4-the-win @karanliginkizilovato@iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire @whoissebby @bojabee @fireismysafety @pizzarollpatrol @yourwonderbelle @julzdec @magnitude101999@slytherinsforlife@littlemissporter @littlenugget8544@mdgrdians @emiliehelstrom @callyourlawyers @imregnirbhsa @call-me-myrtle @vivid-fairy  @eccentricisthegame @valkyrienikolea @hannah-risacher33 @thisismysecrethappyplace@ifyousayyouloveme @eccentricisthegame  @sebba-hiddles@joannie95 @tequila1984 @thegirlaheadoftime @palaiasaurus64 @mendes-holland @marvelismylifffe

New Beginnings:

@fizzylollipop12 @joannie95  

[skulllflower]

I need to vent a little so I’m just gonna chit-chat here. Can’t give out too much detail though so that sucks. But here goes.

Remember back at the end of July when our car broke down for good. It still hasn’t gotten fixed btw, cause y’know we can’t really afford it. Anyways, my mom saved up a little and managed to get a car sometime in August and that has literally saved our lives. Ever since she got the car though there have been minor issues here and there. The check engine light was on when she got it even though the place she got it from said that the car was okay.

The radio is a touch screen that was put in along with speakers and rims. Basically the previous owner tricked it out and then took some things away before selling the car. Anyways, we’ve had several problems with the radio working, like a speaker going out every time my mom would turn the car. A fuse blowing out and having had that replaced. Then the radio went out a good a couple of months ago so we can’t listen to anything other than a CD, Bluetooth or a USB cord.  (Which sucks when your sister basically hogs the radio and only plays her music.)

So last week she got someone to do an inspection on the car and it wasn’t good. The AC stopped working, she needs new spark plugs, there’s a hose or a belt that needs to get replaced. Something about a motor-head - I can’t remember all of it but I know there’s a lot of problems with the car. The short story is the car needs a lot of work and we can’t afford it.

My mom wants to get the first car fixed - the one that broke down - because she’s extremely attached to it. I mean I get it, the car has been with us for over 14 years and it’s hard to just let something go when you have so many memories attached to it. 

I just wish my mom had been a little smarter when buying the car all those months back. I told her to get something newer, something that was made past 2010 or so. But now she said and I quote “it was meant for us to have this car” because y’know when you get a gut feel for things it’s meant for you. Now on top of all the bills, food, and caring for the cats we have to find some way to fix this car and the previous one. 

It just feels like we’ve been having some shitty luck for the past 10 years or so. Like no matter what we do we just can’t win. We’re always behind on something, we can barely eat for a week because we can’t buy groceries, we can’t buy cat litter and food if they run out because payday is biweekly. The cherry on top of this shit sundae is that I can’t help her. I still don’t have a job and even if I did how would I get to work if I can’t drive and there’s only one car? We can’t depend on anyone and I don’t really have friends and where we live is kinda far. There is no win-win situation either way. Don’t forget the toll this taking on her health, literally working herself to death and somehow we’re still living paycheck to paycheck.

tl:dr: We’ve had a shitty luck with cars and we can’t afford to fix them. My mom is the only provider and I can’t help because I can’t drive and no one has hired me. Even if I was to get hired, there’s no one we truly trust to help us out. 

We’ve been fucked for years and I don’t see it getting any better no matter how many times my mom says and believes it’s going to get better and that we’re going to be okay. If things haven’t in the past couple of years I don’t see it getting better anytime soon. Not unless we miraculously get enough money to sustain us. Not until we win the lottery, a scratch off, or someone donates thousands of dollars to us.

[lilyleely]

The Other Woman (Part 9)

Title: The Other Woman

Pairing: Jensen x Danneel, Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 2233

A/N: Yay! An update so soon! Finally the man of the story finally appears after 2 chapters of him MIA. I should really learn to plan my stories because I just realized how dumb some scenarios sound. Forgive me if things might not make sense sometimes! Also, could someone explain to the newbie me why some tags don’t work? :’) 

MASTERLIST

The door opened.

Sweat gathered on your brow and you could only imagine that Charlie had walked back in, forgetting something meaningless and seeing your sad state of affair. You whimpered out a defeated, "Charlie, help me..."

If the world had stopped right there and then, and the ground cracked open, swallowing you into its depths as the cold embrace of death encased you, you would not have shed a single tear. No, you would have gladly jumped out of the window, dodge rolling into traffic and running off if it meant that you didn't have to be standing in that bedroom. Fate was a heartless wench. 

And you hated her.

"Who?"

You gulped, a deathly chill running down your spine, "J-Jensen?"

"What are you doing?" Jensen asked, probably still standing near the door.

You crossed your legs, shifting around as to give yourself some sort of decency and cover to your lower body. You laughed nervously as you moved about towards, what you hoped was, the direction of the bathroom. A table corner banged into your kneecap and you let out a loud, "Ow!"

He scoffed, "You know what? I don't want to know."

Banging your legs and stubbing your toes on every piece of furniture, you felt his eyes on you the entire time. God only knows how badly he was judging you right now.

Danneel probably never looked this stupid in her entire life. You fumbled about praying to the God that you would make it without falling headfirst into a glass table or the hard flooring.

"Sorry!" You suddenly apologized as you were bumped into a plant, attempting to prevent it from falling. You spun around on your feet and tried to find something familiar with your toes and you just wanted to disappear into the void. Just let God smite you now.

You hit the corner of the chaise lounge and tumbled over the side of it, flailing all the way over as you flung into the air and your scream of surprise was deafening in your corseted confinement.

You rolled around and fell onto the ground before scooting on the floor, trying to get away like an inchworm, towards a corner so that you could die of embarrassment.

"Of all the things...of all the people...why me? Why me?" You whispered, completely horrified, to yourself as you struggled to get up to your feet, not without knocking something that sounded like books onto the ground and probably that stupid fern, too.

It took a minute before you found yourself on your knees so that you could shuffle around to the nearest exit. However, you did not get very far before a pair of warm hands hoisted you up from just under your arms. (Oh, right! Jensen had just seen you tear the entire room apart like an angry blind animal! How splendid!) 

He steadied you as your feet found purchase with the floor, their grip on you pressing into a sensitive spot ushering a mixture of a laugh, a snort, and a strange yelping noise.

His hands retracted and you could have just collapsed back onto the ground, hoping that a blow to the back of your head would kill you or knock you unconscious. You quickly and nervously apologized, "I-I—sorry! I'm...ticklish there..."

He cleared his throat, "Um, it's...fine."

Well, this could have gone smoother.

In an attempt to escape the room and towards the bathroom, probably to sit on the floor and cry because you had made an absolute fool out of yourself. Or maybe, if you were somehow able to get the bath going you could just dive right in and drown yourself. Anything to get away from the utterly embarrassing situation you were in. 

With a shaky little side step, you slowly walked away, hoping he had decided to ignore you and continue on with his own night routine.

"Ow!" You yelped as you banged into the wall. You sighed. There was no way you were going to find this stupid exit without assistance. Swallowing hard, you sighed again.

"Would...would you mind helping me?"

"Are you sure? You seem pretty capable so far."

You were silent.

Was he...? Was he telling a joke?

"Er, nevermind," he added. "Is there a zipper somewhere?"

You snapped back, "Yeah, it's—" you turned around and used your hand to feel around before finding the top of the dress where the zipper was hiding. "—somewhere over here—"

"Here?" He asked as his hand grabbed the fabric and pulled down a little making you stumble a little backwards. His hand had brushed against your own and you flinched away as if it had been burned. He fiddled for a moment before finally you heard the sound of the zipper sliding down through the teeth—

"Ow! That's my hair! It's stuck in my hair!" You hissed and he pulled a the zipper up, further entrapping more of your hair. You shifted around and he pulled the fabric down so he could see, but it only made the pain worse.

"Quit moving," he tried to pull the dress back down on your body so that it was at a manageable height but you hissed out, "Ow! Stop, that hurts!"

He mumbled, "I wonder if I cut it..."

"No!" You lurched forward and felt your hair pulling at your scalp.

He grabbed the dress again and said, "I'm kidding. Just stay still."

You felt as his hands straightened and readjusted the fabric and every time he pulled down, you bit your lip to stop any curses from flying past your lips. That was the last thing Jensen needed to know. Cursing would make you look even more like an idiot.

He sighed, "Can you get down so I can see what I'm doing?"

Without any words, you kneeled and his hand snaked past the top of your head and down through the back so that he could find where your hair was trapped in the zipper. His sleeved arm slid past your own and if you reached out, you'd probably feel the rest of him standing so very closely above you. It was so unfair. His fingers were long and sometimes brushed through your hair and to the scalp. The small meaningless action set your senses on edge.

He moved your hair out of the way and his fingertips grazed the junction where your neck met your shoulders. You shivered a little and he went to forcing the zipper down as he tried to hold the hair out of the way. 

You just couldn't help but lean in towards his warmth. You just wanted to be near it and you could smell the cologne on his shirt sleeve, and you could melt away in that moment. His hand in your hair, his scent around you, and on your knees, you couldn't think of a more heavenly way to expire.

"Hey, can you move your head forward so that the hair doesn't get stuck again?"

Well, he definitely knew how to kill a mood. You sneered, Not that this was going to go anywhere but in your head…

"Sorry..."

You could feel his hand retreat as the zipper continued to fall down through the teeth, free you. The dress slid back down your torso and your hands gripped it close to your chest. You held the front up with one hand and shuffled around to get back onto your feet. He moved from behind you and you assumed he would get on with his own nightly routine, but instead he stuck out his hand to you. 

"Here."

You stared at the appendage as if it was a trap and he frowned, "Just take my hand."

Your hands go to grab his own, a small part of you thinks he is going to let you drop and humiliate you. You almost expected him to do something like that. On your knees, one hand pressed to your chest, and the other extended towards Jensen’s, you blushed. If someone had told you, you were going to end up in this situation three months ago, you would have laughed yourself silly.

“Megan! I told you to make sure everything was packed!” Jared lecture grew louder and louder and suddenly you could hear the front door flung open and footsteps nearing the spare bedroom, spilling out two of Jensen’s (and you could probably say they were your friends, too, now) back into view. Megan had her cheeks puffed out, obviously irritated that she was being lectured. 

Megan flung her hands up, “I already said I was sorry! Geez, lay off already! You should really knock before you enter, big bro.” 

Clearly, they hadn’t noticed you yet…

It was also Megan who had turned to fully apologize for her sudden intrusion and her face flushed red, before a sly grin spread on her features from ear to ear.

Jared crossed his arms, delivering Jensen a wink, “Nice one, Jens.”

Jensen looked in horror (and realization) down to his current state of dress (his shirt untucked, his belt gone...) and then to the disheveled girl at his feet...on her knees...hair a mess...face flushed...dress practically falling off of her—

“I swear it’s not what it looks like! I-I...her dress!” Jensen blubbered out as he slunk away far, far, away from you. He put his hands up in defense, and continued to deny everything that Jared was implying with his eyes. He tilted his head forward, unconvinced and completely tickled by how hilariously serendipitous his little sister’s negligence was 

Megan, less serious, and completely amused, “Damn! I. Am. Good!

Jensen crossed his arms, “There is no way I’d ever...with her! No!”

Your face drained from any blood and you felt like running away, but gods forbid you trip and land face first in front of everyone. That would the cherry on top of the shitty sundae that was shaping up to be your life, right about now.

Of course Jensen wouldn’t want to be mistaken for being with you, you were the other woman. He loved Danneel and you were most definitely not the Harris lady he wants.

It still stung hearing him say it, though. It made it real. It brought reality crashing back into you. That you could play dress up, blush at the feeling of him being anything close to civil towards you, but in the end, you were still the wrong girl.

And it...hurt.

Sensing the shift of atmosphere, Jared grabbed Megan by her arm and began to drag her out of the room, proclaiming, “Out, out! We’re gone! Let’s leave these two alone!”

When you hear the front door shut again, you couldn’t move. You couldn’t breathe really 

Forget about the fact that you had embarrassed yourself in front of Jensen; you had embarrassed yourself in front of your newfound friends! You might as well just take a bath with a toaster, now. And they’d all seen him blatantly reject you, as if it wasn’t bad enough…

Not knowing what to do next, you slowly lowered yourself back down to the cool floor, muttering a very inaudible, “Please, whoever’s up there, take me away...”

You brought your hands to cover your face. You could hear the slow, cautious footfalls of the other person in the room coming closer to you, and you wished he would just ignore you again. At least until your fragile composure returned and you could pretend you weren’t fazed by everything that was happening to you. (At least, it wasn’t Charlie that had come back, though…)

An awkward, “Hey, you, uh, I’ll explain to them that um...that it was nothing…”

You mumbled a response.

“What?”

Moving your palms for a better angle, your voice cracked, “Can you just leave me alone now?”

“Did…are you really upset about it?” 

You slowly, slowly moved your fingers to peek through them, you trailed your gaze up his pants, almost searing a trail into the fabric, tears rolled to the side with gravity. You could feel your jaw tighten, and it took everything in you not to start screaming.

Wouldn’t anyone be upset in your position? Wouldn’t anyone want to sink into the empty void to escape shame and embarrassment? Was it so strange that you were crying about being completely vulnerable in front of people you were still getting to know? Your voice was shaky at best, “Yes, I am…”

Jensen looked taken back, unsure of where he was stepping now. He tried again, “It harms my reputation more than yours.”

“Who's going to know anyways?” You muttered with a bitter taste on your tongue.

Jensen grumbled, frustrated, “You're impossible.”

Ha! Impossible?!

“Just please leave me alone.”

“You can’t lie on the ground all night.”

You mumbled into your hands, “Watch me.”

He shook his head, scoffed and stared at your unmoving body for a few more seconds. He slapped his hands to his side before he eventually conceded in saying, “Suit yourself…” 

The door slammed shut and you pushed yourself off the cold ground, frowning. A pretty mess, you sat before gathering your skirts—it wouldn't be fair to Megan if you dirtied her hard work—and with as much divinity as you could, you wouldn't back down to that stupid Jensen and his perfect hair. 

If he wanted impossible, then you'd show him impossible.

Precious people: @nanie5 @supernatural0826 @padackles2010 @holdyourselfinmyhands @remybosslika @jensen-gal @barricade-ghost @just-another-busy-fangirl @mrstheorossix3 @tas898 @darkx143 @emilypkuzu @sortaathief @anokhi07 @to-the-starss @relationshipyard @isabelaelisa @giftofdreams @artprincessbree @anxuanpham @trashytears @lalakwe @but-like-dean-tho @evelinakikoum @skathan-omaha @soobi89 @mommatoni @son-of-a-horse @se-lestiles @mygayisland @smilescar @shameless-danni @mogaruke @skatinginpr0gress @winchester-writes @georgialouisea @pizzarollpatrol @meganwinchester1999 @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @bloodyheartsx @smoothdogsgirl @arwa-alii @faithlovessupernatural @cucumbersarenotcool @alangel1895 @beatlesobsessionlove @random-fandom-lady @gbuttry @donnaintx @jensenimagines @maddieburcham1 @kittenofdoomage @jamsrgang @acreativelydifferentlove @kinginwithme @blksyx @harleenquinzzel @docharleythegeekqueen @braddygabrielle-blog 

[showingthroughtome]

spit fire - chapter eighteen

You said I'm steady playin’, you steady playin’ too

But then she listened to J. Cole’s album. The entire day was spent with her feeling slightly hung over but even more in love with the lyrics of the fellow North Carolinian. By 2 in the morning, she was buzzing with the words of Deja Vu in her bones. She had to talk about it with someone and could only think of one person that she wanted to discuss it with. So, ignoring any time zone discrepancies, she returned Harry’s phone call.

read below - catch up here

In December, Noa turned 21 and J. Cole released a new album. One of those things was something Noa had been patiently waiting on for her whole life and the other was something she should've been.

On December 27th, right as the clock hit midnight, Molly knocked on the door of the guest bedroom and came in with her younger sister - chocolate cupcakes and a tiny flask wrapped in newspaper comics in hand. It warmed Noa to the core to be remembered in that way. Not for years has she celebrated her birthday at midnight nor has she gotten a present so skillfully wrapped. She blamed it entirely on the thirteen-year-old girl she had met two weeks prior and not on her best friend of nearly three years. Still, they smiled as they ate the cupcakes and talked about the plans the older girls had for the following day.

Molly left just thirty minutes later and left Noa alone to rest so she'd be ready for all the alcohol they'd start consuming at breakfast - mimosa made by Molly’s mother were simply the best. And in the morning, Noa learned that waffles made by her dad were even better.

Farrah surprised Noa halfway through the breakfast, popping up behind her and shoving a bottle of coconut rum in her hands. The bottle was consumed that night easily, causing Noa to fall asleep in that guest bed with Farrah curled up beside her after mere moments of laying under the sheets.

She was so out of it that she hadn't even heard her phone ring the four times Harry tried to get a hold of her.

---

4 Your Eyez Only came out on December 28th. J. Cole dropped it out of nowhere, almost as if he planned it for Noa’s 21st. Waking up that morning, she had so many texts from various people screaming at her about it that she almost missed Harry's name on her screen. All it told her was that he called her a few times - maybe to tell her about the album, not remembering it was her birthday at all.

She considered responding but didn't have a clue what she'd say to him. She imagined her first interaction with Harry since their last phone call many times and quite frankly, she expected it to be at a basketball game weeks from then. She kind of hated the idea, but nevertheless, she felt safe in it. She felt like her heart couldn't be hurt if she held off on talking to him for as long as possible.

But then she listened to J. Coles album. The entire day was spent with her feeling slightly hung over but even more in love with the lyrics of the fellow North Carolinian. By 2 in the morning, she was buzzing with the words of Deja Vu in her bones. She had to talk about it with someone and could only think of one person that she wanted to discuss it with. So, ignoring any time zone discrepancies, she returned Harry’s phone call.

Harry,

Noa, it's like 7am. What's up?

Have you heard the album?

Yeah, course. You kind of brainwashed me into loving him.

Excuse me. Not brainwash, showing you the light.

Fine, you showed me the light and now I have a whole new album to be mind blown over.

Right? I don't think I've done a single thing other than listen to it. I'm pretty sure I haven't even eaten today.

What the fuck, Cherry? Go eat!

It doesn't seem important when songs like Deja Vu exist.

Ya know, I particularly liked that one too.

Bet you did.

Struck a chord, really.

Yeah.

The phone line grew quiet as both thought over the meaning of those words, of the words J. Cole rapped that told about loving a girl from afar even though she already had a guy.

Well, I just wanted to make sure you heard it.

I have indeed.

So then….

Nothing else on Harry's part.

I have to sleep now. ‘Night, Harry.

Morning, Noa.

---

Noa didn't talk to him during winter break after that. That entire phone call was a product of excitement combined with sleep deprivation. Noa woke up the next morning feeling so dumb for even calling him - because she knew she was hoping in the very back of her mind that he would remember her birthday, that'd he say something that kept her from feeling so lost from him, but he didn't say anything remotely close to it.

She wasn't mad at him for it or anything, she was just mad at herself for thinking that he thought about her like that after weeks of no contact.

Now, winter break is over and she's back on campus. The dorms opened the day before and Noa had her first shift back in the diner for the semester - something she has scheduled for three days a week so she wouldn't be so broke.

The fact that she doesn't have any money doesn't stop her and the girls from going to the mall. Noa is an amazing window shopper after all. She can easily stare through the glass into a store, see an article of clothing she'd love to try on, and then simply walk past it, no second thoughts held.

It only makes sense that she runs into Harry in the food court - somehow, he is intertwined in everything she does. When her thoughts aren't on him, he appears.

The girls spot him first, standing by the pretzel stand as Niall and Harry sit at a table, eating Chinese food and talking about whatever they talk about.

“You going to talk to him?” Molly lifts an eyebrow while grabbing her salt free pretzel, casual and disinterested as if she isn't all but drowning in desire for them to reconcile.

Farrah has no problem acting out her emotions, “You definitely should.” Her eyes are pleading and her lip almost pouts.

It took a few days but eventually Noa told both of them all about what Harry said to her, how she forgave him because she knew he did a shitty thing but even more so, because she knew him. She told the girls how she had to say no to him since her lungs were constricting with the want to say yes but her heart was aching with what would happen if he somehow got away from her again.

Molly understood without any argument, though she did voice her opinion - if you want him, get him. Farrah tried to grasp the concept of fear and uncertainty but ultimately she sighed out a long, “What the hell? You guys are so it for each other. You guys made up so how are you not having sex right now?! Damn!”

Noa hesitates in the mall. She looks around and surveys the area, checking for any other familiar faces. Then, she lets her eyes fall back on him. “You think?”

Grazing her teeth over her bottom lip, she contemplates if it'd be weird to walk over to him and if she did what she would even say. She can't determine a reason why she should even do it in the first place.

“Yes, girl.” Farrah rolls her eyes and shoves her shoulder. “Be friendly. You're friends, right?”

“Um, not really.” They've never really been friends. They were either bickering or pushing each other against walls, half naked, pulling for more than they could grasp. The remnants of those feeling hit her hard as she watches his strong jaw move tightly with every bite. “Plus, I don't have anything to say to him.”

“Fine then. Let's go.” Molly loops a hand through Noa's arm and begins to walk with her in the opposite direction. “No use in staring at him like a creep.”

The way Molly says it is totally a joke, getting Noa to laugh but Farrah to nod in agreement, “Yeah, it was getting animalistic.”

“What? Really?” Noa looks behind her, wondering if she was staring hard enough for him to notice again. Turns out she wasn't, but that final glance back catches Niall's attention. He points her way, casting Harry's gaze towards her as she slows down with the girls. In an awkward situation of not wanting to actually go up to him but not wanting to be rude, she throws out a stunted wave and smiles as he returns it. He gives a grin of his own, one that trips up Noa that much more. Noa wants to stare at it for a while - like that day she woke up before him and found him smiling in his sleep, dreaming up something good. This time though, she can't.

She turns around once the exchange is long enough to be considered friendly. And grunts, “Fuck. I hate this small ass town.”

---

It's almost exactly a month since the last time that Harry and Noa talk before they do it again. They have another class together - Kinesiology 240 - on Tuesday/Thursdays. As usual, she is in the room early that first day, watching as everyone waddles their way through the early morning. Molly pops in at 9:20 and sat down right next to her. Cara arrives 3 minutes later, sitting right in front of her. And even though the seat to Noa's left is empty, when Harry walks in two minutes prior to the start of class, he sits as close as possible to the teacher - furthest from her as possible.

Noa thinks he doesn't even notice she is there until the teacher makes them go around and say one interesting thing about themselves.

“Hello, my name is Molly and I once broke my arm after I tripped over a banana peel.”

“I'm Cara. I have seven brothers and one sister. We stick together.”

“Hi. I'm Noa. My interesting fact is that I have read every Junie B. Jones book out there, even the ones that were published like, only four years ago.”

An interesting fact was the thing Noa hated the most about the first day of class but once she figures out a good one to tell, she doesn't mind it. She doesn't even like Junie B. that much. Sure, she enjoys the stories but after realizing at fifteen that she had read 22 of them, she had to read all of them. It was an embarrassing but fulfilling day when she went in the store at 17 and came out with the final book of the series, if not a little bit sad.

She never told that little tidbit to Harry and tries not to notice his airy chuckle, though, she did assume he would get a kick out of it.

After class, while everyone is ruffling the syllabus into their bags and rushing out of the door, Noa stands around and discusses lunch plans with the girls. Cara and Molly both have a class coming up but they'll be free by noon to grab something with the cheerleader who only takes two classes a day.

“Hey.” Harry approaches from the front of Noa, slowly and with caution.

Noa smiles a simple, “Hello.”

And like they had practiced it, Molly and Cara begin backing away and splitting up to leave from doors at opposite ends of the room, barely greeting Harry.

He watches them with amusement written all over his face, and when it's just him and Noa, he jokes, “Wow, do I know how to clear a room or what?”

She can't help but giggle at the circumstances at which the two cheerleaders left. “Nah, they just have classes.” She reassures him even though she thought she probably should've let me soak in self-doubt for a few seconds.

“Yeah, me too. I should get going but I have enough time to say hi. How are things going with you?”

“They're good. Had a good break with Molly's family.” Speaking in monotone, Noa shrugs. “Christmas was whatever but New Year's was fun.”

“You were 21 by then.” He sticks an elbow out to catch her side lightly, raising his eyebrows and showing off those dimples she hasn't seen in person for weeks and weeks and weeks.

Him remembering her birthday would've made her trip up on its own but paired with the sight of him, the warmth of his presence that is lighter than it's been in months, has her biting her jaw and mumbling, “Yeah.”

She begins to head for the door, slow enough so Harry can walk beside her and their conversation doesn't have to end.

“Happy birthday by the way.” He nudges her again - with the palm of his hand lightly pressing at her shoulder where her thrift store leather jacket covers her skin. “I don't know if you saw but I called.”

She tries her hardest to remain unaffected even though she can almost feel him through all of those layers. Still, she can't help that her body moves the tiniest bit away from him, like it is protecting her from his touch.

Blinking several times, she recalls the morning after her birthday. “Oh yeah, I was pretty drunk that night so I woke up the next morning with a hangover you wouldn't believe and didn't even want to look at my phone…”

“But J. just had to release that album, huh?”

“Such an asshole for that.”

They get to the door of the classroom and he stops, getting her to turn around and look at him as his jaw drops, “Yeah right! It’s good enough that it got you to call me.”

“It’s fucking brilliant, okay?” She would've called anyone if she knew they'd have understood - it just so happened that Harry was that person. She doesn't like the look he's giving her now - a cheeky one that reminds her of ones he'd shine at her last semester. She's rolling her eyes and changing the subject quickly as she continues her journey. “How was your break?”

Noa can't see his face at this point because she's walking ahead of him, but if she could she knows she'd see a suppressed grin.

“Good.” He starts, then rethinks. “Well, mum was like how she always is. I don't think I went a day without her asking if I made time to practice but yeah, like, she wasn't too bad this break.”

That gets a genuine smile out of her. No matter what happens between them, she’d want anyone to have good time with their family. Maybe it's due to the fact that she's never really had that or maybe because she's less cold hearted than she thinks she is, but she beams, “That's so good, Harry. I'm happy for you.”

“Thanks.” Harry exhales as Noa slips a look his way. “How was your mum?”

“Um, I don't know. Still haven't spoken to her.” She walks out of the door that Harry opens for her and into the cold winter day. There hasn't been any snow this season yet but she really thinks it has to happen soon. For the sake of the damned polar bears, the earth needs to chill the fuck down.

Harry looks confused, a little shocked, then questioning, “Not since that one time?”

“I tried but couldn't bring myself to.” Noa admits to Harry in complete honesty, not even second guessing why when the next words roll off her tongue. “I saw her at the bus stop and she didn't look great. Then when I tried to go home for break, I saw her laughing it up in the living room and physically was unable to open the front door.”

Somewhere in retelling that small story, she feels her features turn sad. It is like a tangible thing that can physically be pulled out of her whenever she lets her mind wonder there. Harry has to see it even though she does try to cover it with a tight-lipped smile.

“I'm sorry, Noa.” He's shaking his head - reminiscent of a disappointed parent from an hour-long TV drama.

“Nah, it's okay.” She tells herself more than she tells the boy walking next to her. “I mean, I haven't heard a thing from her or about her in six weeks but if I don't think about it, she's fine.”

“Noa…”

She feels his hand again on her, this time a few fingers grasping onto her upper arm to slow her and get her making eye contact with him. Like a ton of bricks, she realizes she's acting like she used to with Harry. She's acting as if they haven't spent weeks without seeing each other and months without being real with one another. She has no clue why. She just fell into it out of nowhere, as if it is an undeniable habit.

It causes her to be flushed with embarrassment as she checks her surroundings - just to come back to reality and see that they're in front of the athletic learning department and not in his warm bedroom.

“Actually,” She shakes her head and clears her throat. “You've got to get to class and I have a bowl waiting for me in my backpack.”

“Noa.” Harry, confusion on his face once again, repeats as she starts walking backwards away from him.

“See ya around, man.” She smiles and waves and turns towards her dorm, ruffling through her backpack to find her one hitter with slightly shaken hands.

---

Speak of the devil and he shall appear... or whatever.

Noa is getting out of cheer practice for the night and her phone is ringing in her pocket but her hands are too full for her to even attempt to grab it. She's got her gym bag and backpack on and a couple of towels and a radio in her hands. It's not until she gets back in her room that she can pull her phone out and check who tried to contact her.

She hasn't looked at her phone in hours but the only notification on her screen is a single call from her mom accompanied by a voicemail. It catches her off guard since her mom is never one to leave those - but really, she's never one to call to begin with.

Noa thinks about ignoring it for a minute, maybe even deleting it before she listens to it. Then she remembers how secretly worried she's been and how grateful she is to know her mom is still alive. She swipes the voicemail left and holds the phone to her ear, listening intently as her mom's raspy voice sounds,

“Hey, Noa, sweetie. I was just callin to say hello and that I miss ya. I don't know where ya been but ya need to come on home and see this new TV I got with some money I won at bingo. I been real good since we last spoke. I know it's hard for you to believe but I have been. Swear it, sweetheart. I been wantin’ to call ya so when that boy stopped by today, it was clear to me that I had to. A young girl needs her mommy. So, come on now, visit me. I love you, baby girl.”

That boy?

Noa slams her phone down on her desk.

What boy?

There is only one that would do something like this - simply because there is only one boy that she talks to that would even know to go to her mom and of course, they had a conversation about her earlier in the day.

Noa lunges for the door, leaving her phone behind, speeding through the hall and running off the energy anger like that gives her.

---

“Fuck you!” Noa pushes on Harry's chest as hard as she can as soon as he exits the stadium, not moving him an inch. She's been pacing outside of the door for at least twenty minutes, building up that rage if nothing else. A thought to storm into practice crossed her mind but wasn't entertained for more than a few seconds when she remembered how much of a hard ass the coach was.

Harry's face was one of pure shock, not knowing what hit him as his friends continued on without him, leaving him to whatever he got himself into. Noa goes to push him again but he catches her by the shoulders this time and holds her back. “What the hell? Noa, chill!”

“Fuck you for butting into my life!” She shakes her shoulders so he’ll let go and backs away without losing any of that sharpness in her tone.

It comes back to him then - what he did to piss her off so much that she came to him with this much aggression. He grunts and advances for her, probably to comfort her, but now she doesn't want to be any closer to him than necessary to yell.

“How dare you go to her? You know that's none of your business.” She points an accusing finger at him, harsh like you would with a dog that's done something wrong.

“Oh get off it, Cherry!” Suddenly, he's the one sounding mad and aggravated and all together over her shit. His voice grows in volume until he's at her level. “You told me all about your mum, looking so sad and in need of a little help. How could I not do something?”

“It's not your place!” Barking back, she squeezes both her hands tightly.

“You made it that way!” He's dropping his gym bag off his shoulder and rolling his eyes at her. “You got into my fucking head and made it where I had to go make sure she was okay for you. You think I wanted to skip a class on the first day of the semester? I had to do ten extra laps in practice because of it.”

“I didn't ask you to.”

“You know, you don't really have to ask? When people care for each other, they usually do things to make sure the other is okay.” He laughs, but not in a friendly way - not in a way that Noa recognizes as the Harry she grew to care too much for. It's one of those superior kinds of laughs that people give you when they think they know more than you.

Noa takes a few steps towards him just so she can really get in his face when she repeats herself, “Fuck you. You’re such an asshole, you know that?”

Harry takes a moment to look her up and down, both of their chests rising and falling due to the yelling. Slowly, a calm smirk slinks across his lips. “I’m really not.”

Hate consumes her then - pure hatred for the cocky basketball player. She always knew he was this way and feels so dumb for ever spending six weeks thinking she was in love with him. All that emotion, all that betrayal manifests in a slight tinge of brimming at her eyes. Not due to sadness but just an effect of her anger, she holds back her tears and warns with everything in her, “Stay the hell away from me and my family. Don’t talk to me ever again.”

“Noa.” He's shaking his head and opening his mouth to say some bullshit thing, surely. Though, she can't allow that so she continues.

“One last time, fuck off.” She's backing away from him for the second time that day, except this time it's not because she was getting too comfortable again, it's because she’s never felt so much distrust in her life - not even when he kissed Nina. He yells her name a few more times but she barely hears it over the racing anger of her heart.

The entire walk back, she replays everything he said, every condescending word thrown her way. And she's just so confused. She thought they weren't ready for each other but now she's wondering if they ever would be? How could he ever think she'd want him to go to her mother? That's one thing she never wanted Harry to see and now he's gone and ruined that. He's broken that barrier without even letting her have a say.

Sarah Cherry was never meant to meet Harry Styles. Sarah wasn't meant to know how nice Noa was making her way on her own - she didn't get to have parts of Noa's life. And Harry wasn't ever supposed to see just how screwed up her mother is.

It's getting dark and Noa is staring up at her dorm where she knows she should go. She decides against it and finds herself on the steps of the library, feeling really sorry for herself about the boundaries Harry crossed. Instead of calling someone to cheer her up, she sits there for hours and swears to herself that she's truly and completely done with the guy.

Authors note: 

first i wanna say that i know j cole is mentioned heavily in this but the song lyrics are chance the rapper but listen, his lyrics are being saved for the next couple chapters.... the good ones.... the ones that get me in my feelings.... like seriously, go listen to deja vu right now!!! 

anyways, i hope you guys like this and i hope you let me know what you think! we are so close to the end. i have like two more chapters to write and then an epilogue. so 19, 20, and an epilogue!?!?!? wtf howd that happen! 19 should be out in like two weeks or so. hold me to it or i might forget. finals are in like three weeks so it would be longer. idk. i love you all though and i really do hope this story is turning out alright. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF HARRY! is he the wrong one this time or maybe he was really just trying to help?? (im leaning towards the latter) ok! bye!!!

[nickavalens]

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you finished tag 5 people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!!

I was tagged by the coolest person on this site, @dinglebrose!

1: Are you named after someone? My legal name...the one I was given at birth, was after a character from Star Trek TNG. My new, self given name comes from Rick Cosnett’s character on Quantico. 

2: When was the last time you cried? I probably cry every few days. I think I cried the other night. It all kind of ends up as a blur in my mind, tbh.

3: Do you like your handwriting? Actually, yeah, my handwriting is pretty awesome. I mean it’s not overly bubbly, and its legible. 

4: What is your favourite lunch meat? Salami

5: Do you have kids? Fuck no. My furbaby is plenty.

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Probably. I’m very outwardly friendly. Generally easy to get along with, most of the time. I don’t know if I’m quite weird enough for my own taste in close friends, though. Not that all my close friends areall weird, but I enjoy people who are their own sort of individuals. 

7: Do you use sarcasm? I’m usually only sarcastic in my mind. 

8: Do you still have your tonsils? Yes. 

9: Would you bungee jump? I don’t think so. I’d be scared shitless that something would go wrong, or somehow, I’d mess up and hurt myself. 

10: What is your favourite kind of cereal? Captain Crunch. Not the shitty kind with the crunchberries. Just the little golden nuggets of yum.

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. I need my shoelaces perfect, and I can’t retye them properly quickly.

12: Do you think you’re a strong person? In some situations. Mostly, no. I’m a fuckin wimp. Also, I have shitty mental health. So there’s that.

13: What is your favourite ice cream flavour? In general, it depends on the brand. I like Cherry Garcia from Ben and Jerry’s, Buttered Pecan from Blue Bell, and a good coffee ice cream is always much appreciated.

14: What is the first thing you notice about people? Good hair. I am a sucker for good hair! Then, it’s usually if they’re nice or not.

15: Red or pink? Red. I kind of hate pink.

16: What is the least favourite physical thing you like about yourself? My fat. And my brests. More my breasts than anything. They’re huge, and they make me dysphoric.

17: What colour pants and shoes are you wearing now? I’m wearing black pants and fuzzy socks. No shoes.

18: What was the last thing you ate? Some bavarian nuts.

19: What are you listening to right now? The Young Veins. Because I love Ryan Ross. And John Walker is pretty cool, too. Here’s their album: https://youtu.be/abkCnUsyr00

20: If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Black.

21: Favourite smell? Mint, Tea, and books.

22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My dad.

23: Favourite sport to watch? Dance of any sort.

24: Hair color? Dark blonde. But I’ve been dying it strawberry blonde for a while now.

25: Eye colour? blue

26: Do you wear contacts? No, I have 20/20 vision, and no known eye issues, but given my history of bad headaches and migraines, I should probably get that double checked.

27: Favourite food to eat? I friggin love potatoes. Fries and chips are the best! And I make super decadent mashed potatoes. 

28: Scary movies or Comedy? I don’t do scary movies. So by default, comedy.

29: Last movie you watched? I think it was suicide squad. I’ve been mostly on youtube lately. But to be fair, I waited till it was at redbox to watch, so this was within the last week.

30: What colour of shirt are you wearing? Dark grey with light grey stripes.

31: Summer or winter? Fall, because I’m a rebel like that. I hate being too hot, and I hate snow driving. 

32: Hugs or kisses? hugs

33: What book are you currently reading? Nothing right now. But my mom got me comic books for Christmas, so I think I am gonna start in on that soon.

34: Who do you miss right now? Everyone. I am v lonely.

35: What is on your mouse pad? My mouse! But really, I don’t have a real mouse pad. I am using a piece of paper to keep my mouse from scratching my desk. It’s a very easily scrachable desk.

36: What is the last TV program you watched? Teen Wolf.

37: What is the best sound? Rain sounds. I use that as my ambient noise to sleep. Unless I have my fan on, because that’s enough to block out anything distracting.

38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? The Beatles! I went through my own personal Beatlemania in senior year of high school. Paul is my favorite.

39: What is the furthest you have ever travelled? I traveled around Europe when I lived there. I was a military kid.

40: Do you have a special talent? I can stick my toungue up my nose Stitch style. It freaks my sister out.

41: Where were you born? USA

42: People you expect would like to participate in this survey? Anyone who wants to snag it from me!