#only safe from the fire bc he packed them for the weekend even if he never used half of them

[novmbr2nd]

thinking about sams visual/style aesthetics. he's tall and weedy, never really able to keep on pounds of muscle, so he's more like a gymnast or dancer than a soldier. he's a hunter that doesn't look suited to hunting and the only thing visually intimidating about him at first is his height. crop tops under 2 layers of flannel and jeans usually thrifted from yard sales and charity shops.

[monohart]

pretzels. (boyfriend!au)

ft. kim jungwoo, younger siblings and a safe word for “save me”.

when you started going out with jungwoo, your younger siblings / younger friends were even more excited then u were

bc he was the nicest and kindest and most considerate guy in the world

ok no lie he was nicer than u and he was kinder to your friends too lol

i don’t blame him honestly he just wanted to make a good impression on your friends who he knew meant a lot to u

even tho they can be ... quite a handful sometimes..

the first few months were okay because your friends were still on that.,, getting to know him stage,, so they were quite shy

until once u were like

oh boy u regret it now

but u were like

a bit tired of how they always came to you for requests and favours

like hey can u help me with this homework,,, or hey can u pick me up after school bc my parents are too busy...

so u were like

ok here is my boyfriend’s number, just ask him to help u bc i’m rly busy

it started off good, bc like i said, jungwoo wanted to be friends with your friends too!!

and your friends were like WOW...... IT a BOY hHhHhHhh

and jungwoo was like ᵒᵐᵍ ᶦᵗˢ ᵐʸ ᵇᵃᵇʸ'ˢ ᵇᵃᵇʸ ᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈˢ ʰʰʰʰʰᴴᴴʰᴴᴴʰ

u liked seeing them get along well too

UNTIL,,,,

a few weeks later

whenever u were like

hey jungwoo can we hang out this saturday i finally finished my assignments for now

and he goes

“oh ... oh no i promised your friend.. the one who always wear pigtails? i promised her i’d take her to the mall for the uh, claire’s big discount sale”

“... did you just turn me down bc u have a date with my 7 year old friend..”

after much persuasion from jungwoo your 7 year old friend finally let u tag along

she was looking forward to spend the whole afternoon with jungwoo bc he was nice and he smiled and gave his genuine opinion on stuff

and he’d buy bubble tea for her just to see her smile kjdsnf he was soft for that kinda thing

ʲᵘⁿᵍᵘʷᵘ

he wasn’t like u who scolded them every other minute, for spending too much money and wasting time

basically they hated u at times bc u were such a mOM.

so anyway at the mall date outing, when the 7 year old was busy browsing through some necklaces at the sale, you pulled jungwoo aside

your friend was little but she eavesdrop on stuff a lot

so when the store manager wasn’t looking you pulled jungwoo into the small storage room at the back

and he’s like

slightly panicked

and he kept licking his lips bc he was nervous and also he forgot to wear your favourite chapstick

the one u really liked the flavour of

because he thought u stole him aside because u wanted to kiss him lol poor baby im sorry u just wanted to talk loolol

"we need a safe word...”

“for? what?”

“for when you can’t stand my friends anymore... and you want me to tell them to back off.”

“oh... it’s okay. they’re really cute and i don’t mind”

“you’ll change your mind after two months, wanna bet?”

“huh? oh.. it’s really okay, baby.”

“okay just in case you change your mind... just... tell me that u want some pretzels and i’ll get it.”

he laughs. “okay then.“

u reminded him about the secret code for a distress call almost everyday and he’s like yep no worries i’m good rn

then before u know it two months fly by

you still get to spend a lot of time with him during the week

but as the semester rolls by you both get busier and busier w studies

he still helps your little friends with the little favours and stuff and he still likes them with his full heart but

but whevenr he goes hang out with them he noticed how reluctant u were to join and that small crestfallen look on your face when u think that he and your friends prolly enjoy each others’ company more than yours,

made him worried fr

so he called u one evening

u were walking home from a night class

and y’all chat about bland things until he goes

“i miss you.”

and you’re like pft come on we talk everyday and we spend our weekends together

and he’s like :(

“but it hasn’t been.. just us.. in a long time..”

cUE SOME SMIRKING

u were like

hHEHEHE

u decide to play w him a little

“but too bad my little sisters like you so, so much and you seem to like them too and they’ll be disappointed if jungwoo oppa can’t come and play with them anymore”

he goes silent for a while and u could tell he strugglin’

“i... i guess i just want some pretzels...”

he added quickly “just for a while?”

“and how long is your while, baby?”

“um, one month?”

you think about it.

one whole month where you get jungwoo all to yourself again

yeah of course what the heck he was your boyfriend after all

literally that night you phoned your friends to say jungwoo was super busy this next month so they weren’t able to find him

cue some sulky sad depresso 7 year olds but wtv!!! they’ll live!!!

also

jungwoo that headass

he came over to your place and packed a bag of your stuff w all necessities and basically kidnapped u for a few days

netflix every night until y’all both fell asleep!!

lots and lots of cuddling and spooning and soft shit

on nights without netflix y’all lay in the dark and talked about whatever came to mind

his favourite place was the crook of your neck

tickled u hella but u let him bc u liked being the small spoon

felt safe and protected uwu

he smelt nice after showers too

he doesn’t wear cologne but u know that very fresh laundry and soft cotton soap smell

yeah that’s jungwoo and it was so warm and soft

waking up in the mornings you’d find that he hadn’t moved at all and was still spooning u

tbh he’d usually be up before u so when you turn your head he’d attack u w kisses

hug u a bit tighter until you start laughing bc he always said the first thing he wanted to hear in the mornings was your cute little laugh

you’d go to the library together to “study”

u being the kind of college student who don’t wnana delay graduation and longer than it should be, worked diligently

but your mans kim jungwoo was willing to risk it all

you’d look up everyone few min or so and he’d be just looking dreamily at u

w a small silly grin on his face

his eyes go a little softer around the edges like he was looking at smth absolutely gorgeous and cute

u kick him under the table shyly

and he gently kicks u back

and y’all nudge each other back and forth until u couldn’t stand it anymore and drags him out of the quiet area

there’s a fire emergency staircase next to the toilets around the back of the library where people rarely go

before u could fully make sure there weren’t anyone lurking around the area he’s already backing u against the wall and kissing u

hhhhh

one of his hands is against the wall just above your ear and the other hand is on your chin

meanwhile your hands are everywhere tho

and he loves it

awkwardly stops when some lost first year kid come walking up the stairs only to immediately dash back down again hhh

gave u an excuse to hide against his chest

made him giggle a bit uwu

but then lifted your chin up and dove back in :)

anyway :)) after y’all finish :)) making out :)) you head back to your desks like nothing happened :))

some people stare though

at jungwoo’s tousled hair and bright red cheeks

and at your swollen lips and shifty eyes :))

when the one month come to an end it feels like coming home from a honeymoon really

bc everything goes back to normal and your friends are ringing him up again

but you didn’t mind because it’s only gonna be a matter of time before jungwoo comes back and asks for pretzels again uwu

[holydepths-blog]

✩ watergate :3

this took too fucking long

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? i feel like emma cos she’s more angry dramatic and he’s more emo dramatic but i was also gonna say he probably should to accomodate for his heightWho threatens to leave but never actually does? neither of them, they’ve both left one another repeatedly. Who actually keeps their word and leaves? both of them, see above. Who trashes the house? i don’t think either of them … i can’t see him ever doing it but if he did she would kick his ass things need to be NEAT Do either of them get physical? basement gate tease ! but no … it’s soft ….  that’s been erased from my memory … they’re emo not violent  How often do they argue/disagree? all the time but about #dumb shit nowadays … used to be more serious but now? you like chocolate ice cream better? … idiot  Who is the first to apologise? if they had a penny for every time mickey has apologised to her both of them could quit their low salary jobs and move to france 

Sex:

Who is on top? bold of u to assume they aren’t both switches Who is on the bottom? ^Who has the strangest desires? Any kinks? mind ur fucking business … snuggling is a kink Who’s dominant in bed? i don’t think dominant has ever been in either of their vocabulary where’s the john mulaney gif abt soup in the lap … regaurdless … probably he has to be she’s babyIs head ever in the equation? she suck the dick for free and mickey is a good boy, he knows how to go down on a womf If so, who is better at performing it? i don’t know how sex works is it easier to eat thrussy or suck a dick … they both try the only thing that matters is that once he said she was better at sex than [ redacted ] Ever had sex in public? private public … like not dressing room public but like, romantic lookout in a car public … hope no coppers come 2 shine their flashlight Who moans the most? idk if this is my sexism or my lesbian but women should, legally, be required to moan more than menWho leaves the most marks? he better swallow his masculinity and get used to concealer but i feel like that wld not be an issue for him, king ! he can’t borrow hers though it won’t match Who screams the loudest? WHO YELLSWho is the more experienced of the two? mickey. fucking duh. Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? they make love :3Rough or soft? soft … unlike his penis How long do they usually last? haha 8 seconds joe goldberg tease? idk how long sex even lasts in general …. solidly average is my guess Is protection used? he better wrap it before he taps it my girl cannot afford plan b . so yesDoes it ever get boring? not …. boring but ….. consistent. when emma gets too drunk she asks odette for sex advice bc she doesn’t want to bore ickey Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? nowhere is strange if ur brave enough.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? …. yes ….If so, how many children do your muses want/have? she wants 27 children actually but literally anything from 1-30 will suffice …. they need a lot of help on his inevitable farm Who is the favorite parent? mickey is the fun parent so u already know who it is Who is the authoritative parent? REMEMBER the clip i sent u from the marky mark movie … she’s always the bad guy until he gets #fedup and he has to remind her that she’s not doing it this time AJSDKF Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? honeslty both of them unless emma hoards all the candy … selfish  Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? both of them they make fucking SIGNS …. its a little league game u dont need to paint the football stripes on ur faceWho goes to parent teacher interviews? they both go but mickey is better at them because emma always goes into teacher mode and tries to talk about Who changes the diapers? mickey does he’s a NURSE he is not grossed out , she is . baby poop is rank Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? where tf is that gifset from prison break when u need it … she does but only because she hates diapers and it’s only fair to pop a tiddie out every night for ur kid in exchangeWho spends the most time with the children? ummmm FAMILY FUN NIGHT x Who packs their lunch boxes?Who gives their children ‘the talk’? mickey he is obligated as a medical professional she don’t teach sex ed …. Who cleans up after the kids? emma but only because she’s a neat freak Who worries the most? both of them try to pretend they’re VERY cool and nonchalant and this is actually very easy until one of them cracks (probably her) and they both worry together constantly . solidarity babey ! ….. moreso her tho u cannot change my mind Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? auntie odette change my mind we said FUCK watergate lives , emdette rise 

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? both of them …. constntly …. disgusting Who is the little spoon? [ jake peralta vc ] everyone likes to be the little spoon, it makes them feel safe ! LOOK HERE buddy …. he is and i dont take questions , even when he was 10 ft Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? can he fucking keep his hands AWF …. thats coming from me not emma she appreciates it Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? both of them …. its CONSTANT … hand on the shoulder , touching someone’s back as u walk past …. SOFT ! n then the one gif  u sent from superstore where amy slaps jonah’s ass that’s emma How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?  they actually fall asleep cuddling and wake up complaining abt falling asleep in a uncomfortable position… shut up abt ur back pain ur not 80 Who gives the most kisses? KISS kisses …. he. but know … she’s always kissing him on the cheek What is their favourite non-sexual activity? this is gonna sound g*y as hell but stay with me here ………. just being in the same place , even when they’re doing diff stuff . TOGETHERNESS …. vomit time Where is their favourite place to cuddle? the couch , i retract my statement about them not being 80 they actually fall asleep watching tv Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? casually ? she … to actually initiate eye emoji ? he How often do they get time to themselves? all the time , they know 2 other people 

Sleeping:

Who snores? he does im hcing this for ur own character If both do, who snores the loudest? she doesn’t SNORE she’s a lady Do they share a bed or sleep separately? they’ve been in 200 different stages of relationship ……. OTHER than depending on that , she sleeps better w him there :3If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? they start far apart cos she’s a blanket hog but she always ends up next 2 him Who talks in their sleep? she mumbles sometimes ….. its nothing coherent What do they wear to bed? she owns 47 different stupid size xxxxxxxl shirts that were 2 bucks  from walmart and wears only that . i bet mickey owns a bathrobe, bourgeois pig … Are either of your muses insomniacs? idk she reads a chapter of whatever dumb shit she’s reading and has tea or wine and conks out ….. idk his business Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? idk abt taking them and ik its not the point but shes anal retentive abt keeping medicine in the medicine cabinet so THERE BETTER NOT BE Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? AS I SAID … they start out on opposite sides of the beg and end up more tangled than tangled (20whatever) Who wakes up with bed hair? his hair is floofy ,,,, Who wakes up first? i feel like that depends on his shifts …. she wakes up at the same damn time every week day …. weekends though she sleeps in for 10 yrs so him Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? emma tries and he has to leave bed anyway because the fire alarm goes off  What is their favourite sleeping position? she prefers it when she has all the blankets Who hogs the sheets? she does Do they set an alarm each night? they have JOBS does she look like pippa to u Can a television be found in their bedroom? yes so she can cry over dumb rom coms over somewhere other than the couch …… he’s invested in them , change my mind Who has nightmares? i already know ur about to say he does so im calling the cops on u end of story Who has ridiculous dreams? all of emma’s dreams are indistinguishable from bad acid trips Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? she sleeps in the fetal position he seems like a sprawler …..Who makes the bed? emma …. its gotta be CLEAN and if he ever says “why make it we’re just gonna sleep there again” its on SIGHT What time is bed time? whenever she passes out , always before midnight , considering they’re 72Any routines/rituals before bed? i bet they brush their teeth at the same time to see who can do it faster like they’re five year olds …. or that gifset from new girl where he’s like “ u read my walking dead fanfic ? ”Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? emma takes three cups of coffee to be able to be her CHIPPER self …. 

Work:

Who is the busiest? she has like a 6 hour work day so he for sure Who rakes in the highest income? i just googled nurses versus preschool teachers and he makes twice what she does …. laughs nervously …. glad she’s going back 2 school but elementary teachers STILL make less …. mr talbot got COIN ! Are any of your muses unemployed? no , freeloading is ILLEGAL Who takes the most sick days? i feel like the two worst jobs to go into sick are a literal hospital with immunocompromised people and a preschool with toddlers who dont wash their hands …. equal maybe Who is more likely to turn up late to work? despite her original beef with odette in the apocalypse verse emma is NEVER late to work Who sucks up to their boss? she cooks dinner , a nice LASAGNA for whoever to heat up and mickey has to break it to her that making whoever her superior is eat what tastes like glue will in fact , damage their relationship What are their jobs? hes a nursey  boy …. shes a teacher Who stresses the most? about life in general? her. about work? probably him. he’s dealing with LIVES she’s got the alphabet Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? they better they aren’t getting paid enough to hate it Are your muses financially stable? they’re not rich but they’re not dying and that’s what matters 

Home:

Who does the washing? emma because it relaxes her Who takes out the trash? he better , she does not like to  LOOK at things once they are thrown out … its smelly Who does the ironing? neither of them have ironed anything in their lives Who does the cooking? HE HAS TO IDC if he isn’t fuckign gordon ramsay she’ll kill them Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? emma Who is messier? if he leaves a single sock on the floor he is automatically messier than her Who leaves the toilet roll empty? that’s satanic neither of them Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? he does …. its just not REALISTIC that she does Who forgets to flush the toilet? that’s gross ……hopefully neither ….. DISGOSTEING.mp4Who is the prankster around the house? anything STUPID is hers and hers alone but i feel like he’d do something relatively innocent and it would go HORRIBLY wrong like , hey emma come get y’all juice ….Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? despite being organized in every other aspect of her life emma has never kept track of keys in her life its a disease Who mows the lawn? he does , he shld do it shirtless so she can objectify him Who answers the telephone? mickey, she truly stares at it hoping it’ll go away Who does the vacuuming? emmaWho does the groceries? she would make HORRIBLE decisions ,,, he shld make the list and she shld get it Who takes the longest to shower? no sexism but she’s a girl Who spends the most time in the bathroom? see above 

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? yES like … they can afford groceries , make rent , but for literally every american except jeff bezos money is a problem in some area . this isn’t a hc just a capitalist hellscape How many cars do they own? two …. neither of them are very nice cars Do they own their home or do they rent? rent unless/until he gets the farm of his dreams Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? countryside thats where FARMS are … but like rn , coast cos there’s the ocean in town Do they live in the city or in the country? see above bbgDo they enjoy their surroundings? the goats of the future and the noisy neighbors of the current and past eras both leave something to be desired , but in general yes What’s their song? not to go all modern au but remember when stereo hearts was on their 2011 mixtape AJSKDF …. issa bop and its arguably the most cutesy singable on the playlist What do they do when they’re away from each other? bitch idk ? exist as human beings ?Where did they first meet? idk she probably met him for coffee or sum before moving in together to make sure he wasn’t a serial killer How did they first meet? they were roommates … oh my god they were roommates …. she prolly put an ad in the paper very lucky she did not get murdered x Who spends the most money when out shopping? i feel like neither of them are big spenders but her sticker and colored pen budget is larger than it should be Who’s more likely to flash their assets? i thought this was talking about tits for a second but im assuming mone ? they keep it humble Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? they both do , bullying one another is a bonding experience Any mental issues? more than you know my guy Who’s terrified of bugs? if she sees a SPIDER she floors it , but she releases most other bugs …. he better kill anything w 8 legs tho Who kills the spiders around the house? mickey , as described above wow im psychic Their favourite place? they can make any place work together … gay but true , just like me Who pays the bills? she has a special binder just for taxes Do they have any fears for their future? all the fears actually Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? she cannot cook but she has 10/10 ordered takeout , put it on plates and been like :the happy version of the pensive emoji yk the one: i cooked it while the reciept is still on the counter Who uses up all of the hot water? thats very selfish she wld never but she also showers first bc she doesn’t trust him not to ….. Who’s the tallest? they , in american , are the SAME HEIGHT ,,, fuck centimeters Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?Who wanders around in their underwear? clothes are oppressive let them both do it coward Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? it probably turns into a competition until they’re both singing at the top of their lungs …. omg watergate you’re gonna burst a vocal cord oh my god they can’t hear us they have airpods in What do they tease each other about? literally everything …. one of them BREAHTES wrong and the other is like “ ah didnt realise the asthma express was in town “ Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? mickey literally dresses like the fresh prince so u already answered that for me Do they have mutual friends? can the real jack detler please stand up Who crushed first? she ……. did not immediately fall in love with him let me tell u , it took her some solid MONTHS to realise she was in deep for his bitch ass Any alcohol or substance related problems? i wld hope not , #stubie twWho is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? them , together , for getting kicked out of the bar for singing Who swears the most? neither ? 

[thechampagnecircus]

Fire is a Force

Earth, Air, Fire, Water; all natural elements that are beautiful and essential in their own rights.  But when out of control can wreak havoc on our world.  I am aware that wildfires have a place in the natural cycle, and promote the growth of new forests, but if run amok can destroy all in it’s path.  I feel as though people don’t consider them a normal natural disaster, but they are. Although they can -and are- sometimes started by careless humans, it’s just like a hurricane or tidal wave and we are at it’s mercy.  On this note, it is obvious that our trip to the lake this year was a bit different than the norm.  With the heat wave and drought the summer brought, there was no denying the plethora of wildfires scattered throughout most of British Columbia.  The entire province was a tinderbox and the inevitability of wildfires quickly came to fruition.  

I did not grow up with wildfires as a threat, or annual fixture like those on the West Coast.  There were the obligatory Smokey the Bear signs plastered in every small Maine town.  With a fire risk meter -usually on low- and the famous line “Only YOU can prevent forest fires” shaking it’s finger at you.  I learned from a young age to practice safe camping and summer behavior but I never experienced the fear of an actual fire that was spiralling out of control. Having said that, we were not short of other bullying weather entities. We had the rogue hurricane.  Bob, Irene and Sandy all made appearances throughout the years. Hurricane Matthew crashed my cousin Sara’s wedding a few years ago. The uninvited guest who made quite the splash. I also witnessed a small tornado once in the car with my Mum when I was young.  There were infinite thunderstorms married with hail and torrential downpours.  Power outages caused by massive blizzards, and even the famous ice storm of ‘99 which any Mainer will undoubtedly remember.  I mean, shit, Stephen King wrote a made-for-TV movie about it.  But no fires.  

I always heard crazy stories in California and Western North America, especially within the last ten years.  I am sure there are implications of global warming and climate change that could be made, but I won’t fall down that rabbit hole.  It is one thing to hear of devastating fires; as if they are some distant reality. But another to be in their path. Two years ago my first taste of this reality came to life.  A wall of heavy smoke rolled into Calgary.  It was a Friday and everything turned gray.  But not just gray, it was purplish yellow, thick and blocked the sun with an infamous red glare.  When I stepped outside, I could feel the weight of the air and the faintest smell of char.  However, it passed in time for work on Monday and it was back to business as usual.  

That same year, we had our first trip to the lake booked with friends.  We were so excited to show them the waterfront we rave about every summer.  As the plane landed in Kelowna we quickly realized that our dreams of a weekend filled with boating in the sunshine were not coming to pass.  The air quality was at an all time high.  We arrived in the afternoon but it looked like nighttime as the entire valley was shrouded in smoke.  We stuck it out for our four days, staying inside most of the time, playing games and drinking way too much booze to drown our dashed expectations.  

Fast forward to this year.  As I mentioned before, this summer has been filled with record breaking heat and rainfall decided to take a hiatus.  It was the perfect storm of dry conditions and intense temperatures that set the stage for a flash mob of fires to appear.  As we were driving to the lake ten days ago, we drove through varying degrees of smoke levels.  There were road closures, alerts and so many fires it was hard to keep track.  The Sunday before we left, one fire by White Rock Lake had begun, and that was the one we were most worried about due to its location.  It was still small and about 35 km away so we trudged on.  We knew we wanted to make the most of our trip regardless.  We arrived and within one day the air quality was at a 10++.  The air hardly felt like air anymore, thick with particulates and the deep smell of cinder.  The whole family was tentative and staying inside for the most part.  But after a couple days, we began to spend time outside anyways.  You know, YOLO.  It was our vacation and hell, high water, or smoke wasn’t going to ruin our holiday.  We were weary, and aware but still were able to boat, swim, drink pina coladas on the deck and seize the day.  It’s funny how quickly you can become accustomed to something and your threshold for certain things begins to ascend.  After about a week, the smoke had begun to wane and hope felt a bit restored, despite the fire to the North that was not letting up. We kept our heads up but were watching it like a flock of hawks.  

My uncertainty was building with everyday and every update. I have never been good at waiting for the other shoe to drop.  My anxiety and perhaps need for control cannot handle it.  I like to know.  Once I can make a decision and attack it, I feel comfortable. But limbo is not a place I like to be.  Everyone else seemed to have an easier time going with the flow.  Just relax and enjoy ourselves until we get news that we need to evacuate.  I envy that in others.  I truly do.  I had a hard time fully immersing in the moment the last couple days. We were checking perimeter maps and articles, Twitter posts and updates every couple hours.  Once we were under alert and the winds were unrelenting I knew it was only a matter of time.  I felt it in my gut.  My anxiety would run away with itself every once in a while, visualizing flames coming over the hill and us abandoning all belongings to dramatically escape in the nick of time by speed boat.  But then I would quickly bring myself back with reassurance and remember that the fire department would order our evacuation long before that situation was coming to life.  

Our plan for the last few days of our trip were to slowly clean, pack up and ease into a Saturday departure.  Truthfully, it took some convincing from my husband as I was feeling antsy to leave as the rumours of evacuation were swirling and the fire was creeping closer and closer by Thursday night.  But ironically Friday morning the smoke that had shadowed almost our whole trip had completely disappeared.  The sun was out, cumulus clouds were floating in stereotypical perfection as if plucked out of a Bob Ross painting.  The wind was blowing and if you breathed deeply for a second you forgot that just a few kilometers away the meanest, most out-of-control fire in BC was tip-toeing closer and closer.  Just as we got settled to soak up our last day of vacation, the evacuation order came in.  We took an hour or so to pack up and we were out by 1 pm yesterday.  Due to road closures, construction, two car accidents and general traffic, it took us about 9 hours to get home to Calgary.  

It felt wonderful to wake up in our own bed this morning, but our minds are still thinking about what is going on the Okanagan.  The whole of Vernon is now on alert. They fear embers from the fire could create new fires by jumping the lake. We saw a video showing parts of Westside road, the road we take to get to our place, ablaze in rampant flames.  Our hearts are sinking a bit in pessimism that it might reach our doorstep.  I can’t help but feel selfish, here worrying about a vacation home.  There are those who are displaced, in an evacuation center, praying their homes don’t burn to the ground.  And I feel for them.  Wholeheartedly.  I can’t imagine the torment and anxiety of such a situation.  But also, the lake house on Beachwood Road is our little slice of paradise.  It harbors countless family memories, photos, the kid’s heights on a hallway ruler, meals cooked over wine and laughter, projects started and finished, a safe haven during quarantine.  Aaron’s dad has put endless blood, sweat and tears into getting the cottage just right for every family visit.  Putting in stone patios, a brilliant deck built from scratch, his peach tree he desperately tries to save from the deer, bedroom renovations to accommodate the entire gaggle of us so everyone has a place to sleep.  Our kids have gone out a number of times to help their Bumpa hammer nails, dig window wells, drywall and install shiplap for their Amma.  I am sad to think all that will be lost and what it means moving forward.  At the end of the day, there is insurance and all materials can be replaced and structures rebuilt.  We are all safe and my fingers are crossed in hopes that the brave people fighting this fire start to get it under control.  May our piece of heaven be spared, but most importantly mother nature run it’s course with forgiveness.

Copyright © 2021 Carly Eddy.

[coldgirled-a]

omg you were attacked by devil worshippers?

NEARLY.    they would’ve had to catch us first.    there’s a story behind the traumatizing event that happened that fateful night in 2008.   if any of you would like to read about it,   it’s under the cut but be warned,   it’s quite lengthy.   

see,   my mom, my sister ( who was about 4 at the time ) and i ( mind you, i was roughly around 13 when this happened so you can imagine the fEAR ) were living at this apartment with our elderly aunt mostly to make sure the woman didn’t kill herself trying to make toast but anyways, and in the back of the building there was a pathway filled with lots of pretty trees and it led to a few places depending which path you took ( think crossroads but more foresty type with more pathways ).   the whole back of the building was pretty peaceful and quiet to visit during the day time as i always liked going to the small pond one path would’ve lead you to.   the place that is the center of this fuckery of our troubles is a convenient store. to get there would’ve taken you about 15 minutes to walk to the little convenient store.   at night,   the place is dark and you can’t see ANYTHING.   my mom and i had memorized the pathway to the little store since it was the shortcut compared to the long way of getting there by walking ---  at this time, my mom was not allowed to drive so no car / walking was our only solution / the long way took about 45 minutes just to get to the same convenient store.

well one night, kinda late around 9 ish on the weekend,    we needed some milk and wanted to get a few snacks and maybe a soda pop so we decided to take the short route there,   take the lil bit ( that’s the nickname i’ve always given my sister / thanks spike ) ‘cause at that age, she had a FIT when she was separated from our mother but anyways, we estimated we’d be back home not even before 10 so it was a good time to get back.    we figured since it’s pretty nice in the daytime, it’d be fine. WELL, we’re gettin’ to the saucy part.    so we’re walking, chatting, enjoying our walk there and as we’re coming up on the path you’d take to the store, we see kind of an orange light and we’re like wtf is this ?? idk maybe it’s a night pole light newly installed. ( spoiler alert: it was NOT. )

shrug it off and continue forward and next thing i know, my mother’s arm hits my chest like HARD telling me to stop.   at this point i’m like what are you doing ??    god this is a weird night so i look to see what SHE’S looking at because she’s staring at something.   i look and there’s this like bonfire in dead center of the pathways with all these men dressed in robes with hoods doing this weird chant thingy and we’re guessing the leader,   saw us and while he was chanting,   there was a weird looking dagger he had in the air that would’ve led straight down with what LOOKED like a body on the ground if he chose to get stabby ( i’m not sure if this person was dead,   alive,   unconscious,   a JOKE,   an unconscious animal/s,     a sack of potatoes or what but i wasn’t gonna stick around and find out that was for sure ) and he stares at my mother / essentially having a staring contest with her and the others are waiting for him to tell them what to do i guess about US.   my mother breaks the contact and is like, “ i think they’re devil worshippers, let’s go. “ and so we get ready to RUN.   as i turn to run, i hear this deep kinda annoyed / agitated voice i’m assuming telling the others to, “get ‘em.” i swear we’ve never ran harder in our lives ( all my p.e coaches would’ve been impressed @ our speed. my poor sister was scooped up and carried beneath my mom’s arm bc she was so little  ) to go back to the beginning of what is the back of the apartment complex.   as you run, you can hear feet scuffling behind you.   the chase ended as soon as we got to the open with lights but THANK GOD we made it there and didn’t stop there.   we ran all the way back into our apartment, locked the door,    shut our curtains and had extreme paranoia all night.   we contemplated calling the cops but we thought it might’ve just been a pranking thing between high school kids or something but i mean   ....   it didn’t feel like no prank.   there was no laughter to signal haha you’ve been punked bitches,    no hint of emotion to them   ---   THAT’S what made it so terrifying.    then we were like we better not bc they could find us and finish the job ( i think this experience contributes to my extreme paranoia in life rip ) so we left it alone and just breathed like what could the cops do ?  nothing. not really. anyone smart enough would pack it up and leave when they’re caught. we agreed to never go back through there at night again.   coincidentally,    when we went back there during the day, the place where there had been a fire was put out.   also about three days after that happened,   my mom had learned during the nighttime,   women had been getting raped through there.   that along with that experience was enough for me to refuse to go back through there.    we started going the long way instead needless to say.    idgaf if it was longer as long as it felt safe.

man all i had to say was FUCK those m&m’s i had been craving that whole day.   they were not worth it.

[sneakyhomunculous]

RPT Phoenix Report: Back to Back!

Part 2: The Tournament

 My flight is an early Thursday Morning (7AM) and arrives around 9:45 AM Phoenix Time. I was upgraded to First Class and the flight was smooth sailing.

I uber over to The Breakfast Club next to the Convention Center to eat, and then wander over to try and complete my deck.

I ordered most of the cards I needed ahead of time, but the few last-minute changes left me scrambling for a few cards. Luckily between a couple of the vendors I completed my deck no problem.

Unfortunately, registration is not until like 4PM and not a lot of my friends are in town yet.

Luckily, Tom Ross and Jarvis Yu show up and are looking for food. 2nd brunch it is.

We eat across the street at Majerle’s and when we walk back we realize people already have the signature PT PHOENIX Bags, so registration must be open earlier than we thought.

We go register and get our bags and I get in the que!

We quickly fire an 8 man with a nice group. I know I was feeding Hunter and my 2 Opponent’s were Kevin Jones and Ben Weinburg.

I drafted a Ru Deck that was wide open and 2-0 in some great games.

While they finish up the draft, I begin looking to book a massage.

I find a bunch of places around the Convention Center, but they are mostly like out-booking to your home/hotel type places.

I finally get an answer from this girl Katie, she can take me but not until 6:30 which is like almost 2 hours away. But I really want to get the massage and she had great reviews; booked!

I just wander around the site clowning for a few hours before leaving for the massage.

Katy was wonderful; one of the best massages I’ve had, and it was only 85$ (I’ve paid like 2-3x as much at nice hotel/spas etc. for much weaker massages).

 This is another big thing for me.

At any big event, especially Pro Tours, I try to be fully relaxed and rested to clear my mind and then once it starts,

I am thinking ONLY about the tournament.

I always try to see a movie/get a massage the day before and I like to eat nice filling dinner’s of exactly what I feel like.

When I walk out of the massage, I am looking for food and there is a spot called Dust Cutter in the building adjacent to me that looks like it has good reviews.

I notice Tom in the group saying he is just leaving the site, so he and Kevin end up meeting me at the restaurant.

I get this Arizona Cheese Crisp barbeque chicken pineapple thing, and it’s basically like in between a quesadilla and a flatbread/thin crust pizza and it was gassssy.

We Uber to our BNB and Tom loses the first game of the weekend lets goooooo.

We somehow find our place in a maze of similar looking complexes, and the rest of our group is already here. It’s Allen Wu, Hunter Cochran, Jarvis Yu, Nate Knox, Me Tom Ross and Kevin Jones. ‘

Sickass squad IMO.

The rest of the group tells us that the cleaning team hasn’t yet arrived to pickup from the previous guests…. And it’s like almost 10 PM.

But they end up showing up shortly after and clean it up quickly as Allen and Hunter jam Breach mirrors while Kevin 6-0’s me in G1’s of his Bant Spirits vs my UW control.

Nice Confidence booster going into the PT!

Losing every single game to drunk Kevin Jones playing one of the most popular decks.

 We have 3 bedrooms with a total of 2 large beds, and 2 smaller beds. So basically with 7 people 2 people get shafted into having to share a smaller bed.

I shotgun one of the bigger beds with Tom and go pass out while people are still up bustling around.

I wake up fresh right before my alarm, and I realize most people are already up.

I woke up to Allen bustling around me and Tom’s room seemingly finishing up getting ready to go, and think nothing of it.

After showering and getting in my 50 Jumping Jacks I quickly get ready to catch the uber with the first group headed to Breakfast Club.

In the Uber I learn Allen swapped with Tom and was now my roommate, so indeed it was he sharing the bed with me.

I can’t help but think his superpowers may have rubbed off on me.

 Also, 4700 ELO in one Queen bed is A LOT of ELO in one Queen bed!

 We are extremely late.

I let the group know it should be ok, as the Breakfast club was quick for me yesterday, and it’s only a 5min walk to the convention center.

But the problem is Friday traffic has us arriving around 8:30.                              

We go to the bar and order to go, but at 8:52 we still don’t have our food lol. The draft fires at 9. I ask the bartender to please go check and he quickly returns with our food.

We scamper over to the site, Jarvis and Allen hitting somewhere between a jog and a full sprint during the last stretch of convention center floor.

Pods are just going up and I sit right around 9am ready to go. I open my French toast and bacon and begin casually eating my food. My tablemates are both jealous and surprised.

I have an overall nice-looking pod, the only players I recognize are my teammate and friend Ty on my direct left, and then David Pargh 3 to my left.

At around 9:02 pargh calls a judge and asks if he has time to run to the restroom, the judge tells him we should be starting within like 2 minutes so he should wait. I snap off the “ I will take the over on 2 minutes”. My table laughs but then I reassure Pargh; No really… You can go to the restroom. We have at least 5 minutes and if they are about to start without you I will stop them.

He gets up and starts running!!!!

As he arrives back at his seat out of breath; they announce that they are dealing with some registration issues and should have them all resolved very soon.

2 minutes looooool; too bad the WOTC lawyers are such nits and we can’t wager on these things.

 At 9:14 or whatever it is I finally crack open that first pack

Protean Thamaturge 1/1 Copy 1U copy rare vs Mire’s Grasp

I believe thamaturge is slightly better, but my draft pod looks weak to me so I just take a safe pick of Mire’s Grasp that I ultimately regret a bit.

I’m passed a really bad pack with omen of the forge and 2/4 dryad rare as only options.

I take the Ilysian Grove Nymph (Not a Dryad)

3rd pick I take Heliod’s Pilgrim out of another weak pack. I have a Grasp already and there is just no card on a close level anyway.

4th and 6th I take Daybreak Chimera’s and I assume I am going to setup to be some sort of white aggro deck. I fill out with like a 7th pick favored of Iroas and an indomitable will, I also have a mogis favor I guess I 5th picked.

I open Mire’s Grasp and Daxos, and I take Daxos due to having no cheap plays and 2 chimera’s

I am passed Reverant Hoplite and another mire’s grasp; take hoplite

3rd I get a final Death over nothing, and I fill out this pack with a lagona band ¾ return an enchantment to the top, 2 white omens and a blackomen, and maybe like a flicker and a unicorn.

Going into P3 I am dying for cheap plays and white pips, and also an apathy to get with my pilgrim.

I open apathy and quickly check that box, but the cheap plays are a struggle. I end up taking like a nyxborn courser 2nd or 3rd pick, and a soulreaper of mogis like 4th. Not ideal and I am really worried, but I find a 6th pick hero of the pride, 7th pick pious wayfarer 8th pick hateful eidelon to at least end with a playable curve.

My deck looks like a 4/10 to me but I am still confident in my chances.

I end up registering 16 lands 9/7 when I should really be playing 17 bc I just decide I don’t want to lose to flooding and I will live if I get stuck on lands for a bit with this deck.

 R1 vs Andrew Matthews:

This player was feeding me, and I hate how the R1 Matchup is random. I don’t understand why we can’t just play R1 Across, but alas.

My opponent starts off with a mulligan to 5.

You don’t go 50-10 in your last 60 high level matches without a lot of luck!

He still almost beats me because my draw is awkward, and my deck is not great.

But once again some luck for me; he makes a game losing mistake.

I say go with dreadful apathy on his 7/7 typhon, and he has a 6/7 as well, end of turn I activate apathy. In response he return to nature’s my apathy…….

 I say ok and bin my apathy, then let him know the trigger can resolve now. And he says well it isn’t enchanted anymore.

So we get a judge and he confirms that it obviously is still getting exiled, and I untap lagonna band the apathy back to my deck and use it on his 6/7 the following turn and barely win.

He is GB with a bunch of mire’s grasps and multiple 6/7 colossus’

Game 2 I die horribly

G3 is somewhat interesting after thinking I was wayyy ahead and going to win, my opponent plays a klothys design. He had a 5/3 forerunners giving trample that I had apathied, and he had a hateful eidelon and a nyxborn colossus, so he is attacking me for 15 trample.

Luckily I had daxos and like 26 life, but I take 15 and now have to play extremely carefully around another designs. I draw flicker of fate for my turn to make it trivial as I just activate and move the apathy to the 6/7 and kill him over the next couple turns. Turns out he did have second designs :0

1-0

R2: Teammate Ty Thomason

Ty was on my left in the draft and is RG. I don’t really know much of his deck except that I passed him R omen and furious rise along with an assortment of green creatures and incendiary oracles.

In G1 I think I mulligan and have to keep a land heavy hand, and I draw my 5th land early and by turn 4 think I am a huge underdog in the game, but I draw like 5 or 6 spells in a row 2 of which are daybreak chimera and I fade his furious rise hitting removal for them over 3-4 turns as I tear away his life total from the sky.

 In G2 I think I am doing ok, and I let him untap with renatta hoping he plays just one big thing, but he has 2 2 drops, and also has like warbriars blessing at a bad time for kill my unicorn. My removal is awkard and expensive making it hard for my little shitters to get thru his multiple renata beefed 2 drops.

I still think I am even and have good chances, but the storm’s wrath I forgot I passed him kills any hopes I had fast.

 G3 is an epic one that I don’t believe I can do justice from memory. I keep a 2 lander on the play with  a t2 daxos and some assortment of expensive cards one of which is hoplite.

I miss my land for a turn but I hit my 3rd plains on t4 and then nail a swamp on t5 which keeps my right in the game.

Unfortunately, he sort of stabilizes the board and despite hoplite for 6 or whatever and having 30+ life, I don’t have great attacks just yet. To make matter’s worse he has an oread rummager in play to go a fresh renatta, and his deck contains a storm’s wrath that should end the game on the spot at any point, and wings of hubris that will be really problematic at any point on renatta.

I finally have an ok window to attack and also have no choice because he just drew wings an attacked me with renatta for double digits.

My life total is now somewhere around 20 and I make a huge attack but making sure to leave back a couple tokens to not die to a counterattack if Ty blocks optimally.

He blocks perfectly this turn and I chipped him down to like 11 or so while gaining a few life in the process and lowering his green pips some small amount, then he untaps and hits me again down to like 9.

I untap and peel an omen by the sun and decide I can attack with everything as I have omen plus another blocker and also gaining 5 life. I play my blocker to gain 1 from daxos and then my omen to get a tap with unicorn and send the squad. He blocks perfectly again I only gain 2-3 life from tokens dying and he goes to 1 putting me at like 13 + 4 from the omen so 17 I think but I can’t remember exactly.

So I have 3 blockers my 3/3 chimera and two tokens facing down renata  a 5/5 typhon and 6 other small creatures. But his hand is a nylea forerunners that he casts and after quick math my stomach drops because I am dead on board. I try to feign a bit of confidence as he counts the total number of creatures…

By the grace of God almighty, or maybe from the Allen Wu aura that I acquired from sharing the bed with him, Ty and I have exactly the same number of creatures.

So despite being at 1 Life Ty can say go because he has a chance to survive if I don’t draw an enchantment.

In his head his carytids were staying back to pump his 4/5 menace thing, but really carytids were 2/2 from renata and would’ve pushed him 1-2 damage past lethal if they just attacked.

In my upkeep I scry with my white omen sac and see plains then flicker. Flicker is easily lethal as I flicker my black omen with 1 mana left tapping a blocker for lethal, but I also have hateful eideilon to get back and play with my last mana to tap another blocker and play around any removal which he very clearly doesen’t have anyway.

2-0

At this point I am feeling on top of the world. 2-0 with a medium deck beating the best player in my pod, knowing my constructed deck is as bladed as ever.

While using the restroom after this round a guy from my pod asks how I did, and tells me he lost to the busted deck. It is Pargh who will be my opponent. He is UB and got the thaumaturge 4th and also all of the late U omens and things to go with pharikas spawn and thirsts and shimmering chimera etc. I just accept that it will be a tough match and I won’t be dissapointed if I lose.

R3 vs David Pargh:

G1 I keep a hand of like Daybreak Chimera Daybreak Chimera Dreadful Apathy 2 plains swamp lagona band trailblazer.

Unfortunately my first 2 draws are swamps and i feel obligated to play dreadful apathy t3 on his eidelon of philosphy just to be able to t4 chimera.

I do t4 chimera but t5 i draw yet another swamp leaving me with all white cards and no way to double spell. T6 is another single spell turn for me, and despite him flooding and me landing a hoplite for 6, i can only chip him down to 1 life before he has seen so many cards with omens and thirst that he finds gray merchant to stabilize and virtually lock the game.

I am frustrated going to SB bc it was a game i could easily have stolen If i just drew plains or spells instead of swamps. But i realize it’s part of why my deck sucks and I need to get over myself.

G2 is another drawn out affair where i think I have some chances early, but I begin to flood and it slips away fast. I die to the combination of pharika’s spawn shimmerwing chimera tymaret and some counterspells plus a final death.

2-1 and still feeling great.

We find out over the loudspeaker during this round that there will be no lunchbreak. I am suprinsingly happy with this. I am not hungry and ready to play some constructed to shake this loss off.

R4 vs Mark Lepine on UW Spirits

I don’t know Mark, but I do know he is an old school pro who got DQed recently for peeking in drafts. I will just say now that in our match he was extremely pleasant and did not seem even remotely sketchy at any point. That being said, I was aware of the DQ and on edge to make sure and watch close for anything fishy. We exchange decklists and i quickly see he is UW spirits, except he has 2 essence flux? and 1 Bygone Bishop???

I get the oracle on those and we get into a game 1 where everything goes right. He floods a bit and my first wrath comes down when he only has 2 mana open and no selfless spirit, and then my 2nd is cleaning up most of his resources with my life total still high. After azorious charming something to the top with t5eferi in play I know it’s over and after a dig he soon quits.

G2 is a bit odd, in that he floods and attacks me with mutavault a bunch, i at some point seal away it and he doesn’t have rattle chains and i know it’s over. We play a few more turns, and i have a spot to slam trawler, but instead go for dig EOT bc it’s so likely he has a dispute/stroke for how little he has done in the game. 

Except as i cast dig he immediately says ok. And i say it resolves?? And he shakes his head and says yeah, you wouldn’t expect it to huh?

He has been friendly all match, and it just seems like more of that.

I am not sure if he’s leveling and holding a counter for trawler, but anyway i untap and have even better plays to not even have to sweat it. Then the following turn when i play trawler he was just actually being geniune and had no counter and dies to it lol

3-1

R5 vs Johnathan Lum on Sultai Delerium

G1 goes quite smoothly. I think i Censor a courser and then clean up a courser and wayfinder with a wrath, i censor a Nissa at some point, and i draw lantern to exile an URO and then later his graveyard preventing myself from ever getting Emrakuled before i can just close the game with elspeth.

G2 is another smooth sailing game early, except he eventually does build up to emrakul and i can sense it happening, but can’t really stop it anyway. The turn before he emrakuls I play trawler with a sabatoge up, so i sabatoge the emrakul and have a hand of opt only. I untap and he is taking my turn. He says draw.

My one detention sphere. He immediately spheres trawler (Bad sequencing there of course) then he opts, revealing a land. He keeps it and doesn’t play it saying go back to me again. So i have 9 mana and a glacial fortress facing down no hand but an uro that can come back next turn my life is like 17 so I’m not that worried but def a close game.

I draw dig thru time and hit 2 teferi’s and a sabatoge lol I take little teferi bounce my detention sphere freeing dream trawler with counter backup. 

I managed to win a few turns later.

4-1

R6 vs Charles Wong on Sultai Invertor

Charles seemed to be a good player to me, but I didn’t know him before this match.

In G1 he had multiple carytids and a wayfinder, but i countered his URO on the way back down and I feel like he had 6-7 lands in play at a point where i had cycled 2 farmlands 2 charms a censor and 2 opts, and i have literally only lands than don’t do anything still. At any point if i draw a dig teferi narset or whatever I just win easily I assume, but instead he just resolves a topdecked jace, then untaps and resolves invertor and kills me.

Frustrating to lose to flooding in a deck that is so good at preventing that, but it happens.

G2 is just not close. My opp TS me and then t3 tracker resolves and he disputes my next 2 spells as i fall behind even further to a resolved Jace. He untaps after disputing my t5eferi or whatever and says oh u are dead, dig invertor.

30+ min in the round is not bad tho. Thats a jimmy johns run lets goooooo.

4-2

I clear my head during this walk and grab my sandwich and head back to the site ready to crush the last two rounds.

I’m just finishing my sandwich as pairings go up, Paul Reitzl is my opponent.

I am a bit annoyed at 4-2 to be playing someone so good, but that’s how the PT goes sometimes.

R7 vs Paul Rietzl on MonoB Vampires

His list looks mostly pretty standard.

In g1 he thoughtseizes me on either t1 or 2 I can’t remember exactly but my hand is just like 2 opts a farmland an elspeth and some other lands. I say this hand is gasssss against TS as i reveal it. He says it definitely is. And then i mention that I think my deck just may be really good against thoughtsieze as he’s thinking.

I tell him that elspeth is insanely good when he asks if he should take an opt. he says you are just going to see so many new cards. I say yeah but you can’t stop me anyway, he must agree as he does take elspeth. In this game i play those few opts and am flooding a bit but have 1 key spells t4-5 maybe a counterspell I don’t recall exactly. 

He now has black castle and just uses it mainphase to draw a card up to 6 cards lol, down to like 13 life or whatever.

I untap and just have all lands and wrath so i escape elspeth make tokens. Then he goes like play knight of ebon into champion draw 3 or something bc he had a dusk legion zealot. Then i wrath and make 2 more tokens say go. He untaps and plays 2 dusk legion zealots down to like 8. I pump my tokens and attack and he double blocks one down to 5. i still have all lands but i drew a lantern and have that ready to cycle and say go, he untaps and murderous riders my elspeth down to 3 playing rider.

I cycle lantern as the third card in my yard besides elspeth and hit a land. So on my turn I need to draw a banger and censor does qualify as it is just an elspeth plus a card. I cycle into nothing and play elspeth for the 3rd time and pump my tokens forcing him to block both with rider + his last zealot. 

He untaps and scoops showing me like 3 more swamps in his hand (he drew like 10+ lands, but apparently that happens often to this deck according to Tom Ross who played a lot of it).

G2 is another slow paced game where he hits me with mutavault a few times but I’m able to seal away it and then land teferi. He had the end of turn grasp but i have trawler and know If he has no TS it will be over. He untaps and draws a card with either castle or champion then plays a swamp and says i know you have what just the wrath?? Hmmmm and taps the black mana; i hold my breathe as the duress hits the table. lets goooooooooooo

He can’t take dream trawler so who cares what he took. I have exactly 6 lands and a teferi time raveler on 1. I put my hand on the table for duress and it was like trawler wrath censor. He took wrath and says go.

Without even picking up my trawler or untapping my lands I just pickup my censor draw a card without looking at it instantly tick my teferi to 2 and say go leaving the trawler in play and my lands tapped lol.

He untaps and does some irrelevant things like sorin pump champion attack for 5 i take it untap cycle something kill sorin gain 6.

He untaps again and says he has outs. He has to hit that one or that one. And I say woah having multiple things is a lot more than i expected. He says well it has to be right now, and plays dusk legion zealot. Then he says we did it! And slams Rankle and attacks making me sac and discard. But he now has no hand and I have wrath + field of ruin for his castle so it’s me at a high life total and 8 lands vs his 6 swamps and me getting the first draw step.

I’ll take the teferi/dig/trawler tribal side of this game. I untap and draw t5eferi so i wrath and say go, he just draws sorin with no board or muta so it does nothing. I draw t5eferi again, play one and plus hitting dig so gg yo untap 2 go.

He untaps and plays mutavault he drew and starts tanking and tanking. I grab sorin to see what the deal is if maybe it gives deathtouch somehow when sacking a vamp? But no he is just considering sacking mutavault putting tef to 2 and then drawing a vamp next turn to kill it from 3.

But i tell him I have dig thru time and another T5feri so it doesn’t matter at all, but just put a counter. When i say this he laughs and immediately throws mutavault at my teferi. I laugh and say I told you not to do that. He says I have to hope you’re lying as I am casting my dig.

I hit spells like counter spell charm and then draw another trawler and yeah, i win from there.

5-2

R8 Vs Justin Porchas on UB Invertor

I recognize Justin but don’t remember from what, and it was that we IDed into T8 of the GP Dallas I won. So we’ve never played, but we have shaken hands!

He has a pretty stock list that I think I’m favored against, but he plays very well and seems to know his deck + the matchup well.

G1 goes really long which really favors me, but I cast multiple digs and am just not finding hard counters so there are plenty turns I am in big danger of getting combo’d. He eventually does invertor with 2 jace in his yard and i think 2 other cards? And then he plays oracle keeping one of them on top.

He untaps and plays a jace with 3 cards in the deck and I believe I succesfully counter it, but when i cycle my charm and untap and draw a land I am dead if his next card is jace and he goes for it. It’s basically 33%, but it feels like 50% bc when he played oracle he seemed to snap throw 1 to the bottom as if it was Jace+ another, not just 2 jaces who cares. That was my read anyway. We’ll he untaps and says go so i have one more chance. I draw an Opt I believe. At this point I’ve run sort of poorly with seeing the bottom 15+ and knowing my deck still has 3-4 hard counters another dig and teferi in only like 15-20 cards. Justice prevails as I cycle into I believe the absorb or veto I can’t remember. He untaps and goes for Jace and when I counter he concedes.

G2 is somewhat interesting but he resolves jace, and i do deal with it with t5eferi, but he kills my teferi and also lands the new 5 mana ashiok. That cards is actually busted and it runs away with the game as I am disctracted trying to deal with it while he sets up invertor jace to kill me.

Going to G3 we have a little under 20min I believe and as I am presenting Justin notices one of his sleeves is different for some reason. He has black Matte sleeves but this one is just solid black. He asks if I want him to just flip the card over. I said no you don’t need to do that, just look at it and see what it is yourself and if you can tell what happened?

He just flips it anyway and it’s a Jace Wielder of Mysteries. OK? That is a bit weird but before I can start questioning he calls a judge on himself. The judge comes over and Justin hands him the card and says “This is Matt Costa’s” LOLOLOL

He Thief of Sanity it from Matt in a previous round and didn’t realize it until now. So the judge rules that bc it’s between games and he never got caught presenting an illegal deck basically, the fix is just to return the card to Matt and carry on. This rule sounds right to me in limited, like say you have a dreadful apathy that was actually your previous opponents, and you find it during sideboarding. You call a judge and this is the fix, just give it back move on. But this is a bizzare circumstance. 

I just played two games in a constructed match where my opponent happened to have an extra copy of the single best card in the matchup?????

Is the fix really just “I know you fought hard both of those games against the onslaught of jace’s, but for now we just move on?”

And to be fair the head judge said, it’s on you to count if he has 60 and if you do so and it’s 61 he would’ve gotten a gameloss for this.

So idk, i remember back in 2008 it was cool and normal to pile count your opponents deck, but i thought these days everyone was off that. I certainly haven’t done it in years, but maybe I should start again?

Anyway, I feel a bit bad for Costa who may get a gameloss midgame here. Snook is sitting next to me Costa’s good friend and he looks sick. And i look at him and say let’s just hope Matt is done with his match. And snook nods and said that is the only thing I am thinking.

Turns out Matt was done so mise.

But anyway Justin and I are now going to a G3 with a fair number of jaces in his deck.

I hate that I can’t remember much about this game, but I know I had a good hand and ended up winning a super super tight one at the end.

He went for invertor when i was short counterspells and i was worried he was holding an oracle to go with the one in his yard. But whenever he does go for the oracle i dispute it, and he pays going down to 1 mana which lets me use my last piece of interaction, another dispute, and he concedes. If he just had another oracle/jace for next turn I had nothing and would’ve died, so that was a nailbiter to finish it off.

6-2

This one is getting really long and not much interesting happened this night anyway. We did go to a really nice Thai restaurant, but I will pick back up here on the final part 3.

There we will go over day 2, and then my

spoilers:

Top 8 match against Huey!

Thanks for reading, see you back tomorrow for the rest. 

[wanderlustlondon]

15 July

some of these days are so foggy already i’m glad i wrote them on my phone every night

today megan and i made sure to set our alarms an hour earlier than we actually wanted to get up so we wouldn’t have a repeat of yesterday. somehow i still got up and showered and put on makeup in like 20 minutes though, it was super impressive. we struggled a bit catching the right bus, mostly bc we couldn’t find anyone who spoke enough english to help us. carly and emily were getting super annoyed with megan bc we couldn’t get it right but they could’ve mapped it out??? ugh whatever. we found the bus stop and some little old lady was trying to talk to us but only spoke french and italian but we managed to tell her we were going to versailles and she said the city is bad but the palace is good. 

the bus ride was real chill. we were all so exhausted no one was really talking much. we got off the buss and struggled finding our way to the train station and once again people were getting annoyed but we’re in a new country this isn’t easy for anyone???? luckily we found the station and got on a sweet double decker train. the ride was super long but at least it was smooth. i really liked the countryside of france. 

we got to versailles and it as hot af outside but we got to skip a line that almost wrapped around the tire building, thank god for online tickets. the palace itself was absolutely gorgeous it’s hard to explain it. and the audio guides helped a lot since we couldn’t read the history (i could make out a few of them, especially given the context). it was also nice bc then it’s just a bit more on your own and not too much interaction. although it was packed as fuck, literally shoulder to shoulder at some points. we made it through a lot of it but then we found a restaurant. carly and emily wanted to stop and rest of us were clothing our wallets but carly was gone before we could protest. so our bill was actually cheaper than the night before but it was the slowest service i’ve ever had in my life. it was also weird they brought the food out as it was ready instead of all at once. i just got some bread with chestnut jam and wow i love chestnut jam. we finished off walking through the exhibits but it was clear carly didn’t want to be there anymore, but me michelle and meg were still enjoying it and i just want dot tell carly to stop plaining and let us do our thing since we were ALWAYS letting her do what she wanted. 

we asked four different people where the exit was and nobody could help us figure it out, but we finally found it on our own after 15 minutes. then back at the train station we couldn’t figure out how to get the tickets we needed, bc it turns out the tickets we’d been buying all weekend were only good within france’s city limits and we had to get more expensive tickets to get back. also mel got 2 water bottles from a vending machine on accident and when she asked who wanted it megan and i both said we did and then carly just took it and chugged it. like aright fuck you too i’ve had 0 water all day but your needs are always more important. well whatever we’re going back on another double decker train and it’s fine.

when we got back to our room again megan and i just decided to relax for awhile before we got ready for the cabaret. it only took us 10 minutes to get ready for the cabaret so we had plenty of time to just sit and talk. we started talking about carly and shit was being thrown left and right, we were both just so fed up with her and her constant needs. it was a good bonding experience for sure and it just further assures me i made the right choice in friends abroad. 

so carly and co show up late for the train to dinner as always, and right away carly is like “well i thought you guys would map it out” WE DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE WE’RE GOING SHE’S THE ONE WHO MADE THE RESERVATION. but we figured it out on a map in the train station and headed over to the arc de triumph. it’s stunning but of course carly ins’t impressed (like earlier when she said she wasn’t impressed with notre dame bc she saw the sangrada familia and that was better). we admired it for a bit before going to find our restaurant. i was annoyed at this point that “dinner will be expensive bc there’s nothing cheap around here” but we walked past multiple mcdonalds and tbh i could always go for some nugs. so we got to our restaurant and right away i’m not feeling it. carly orders champagne immediately and a few others joined her but i just got water. i played it super safe and ordered a chicken and lemonade just to get something fun since others were ordering champagne and fancy drinks. the food is delicious and i make sure to eat slowly since i won’t be buying any other food for sure. the girls decided we should get a fully bottle of champagne for the table which, i guess splitting it 6 ways wouldn’t be too bad. they don’t have the one we asked for the but the server said this other one was only €6 more. the waitress only brings out 2 new glasses so the four bitches have their champagne and i just keep on my water. even megan had ordered a gin and tonic. 

a few of them ordered dessert but i already knew this was the most expensive meal i’d ever had so i passed on my chance at crème brûlée. so the check comes out and it’s €350. turns out the champagne was €82. the four of them spent over €70 and i spent the least at €28.70. it was still pretty pricy but at least i wasn’t completely broke.

we found a “cheap” place for drinks and we all got some sort of shot (it was bartender’s choice) and i got a piña colada bc i’m awful yet wonderful. while we’re drinking megan starts telling mel how funny i am when i’m drunk and we started talking about how i feel really comfortable with her and john and riley where i can do those kinds of things and i appreciate her patience with my weirdness and she just kept saying i’m so fun and so funny and i’m great to have around and she was very happy they got me drunk in bath and that i keep drinking with them

drinks were CHUGGED bc they took so long to come. we went across the street for our cabaret show and all of us are stumbling bc we just drank full drinks in 10 minutes. we got seated in the very front because we were such a big group and after i had my free glass of champagne i was most definitely drink but thank goodness because it was 20 performances and 16 of them were completely nude women. no way i could’ve handled that sober. but they had some cool lighting and mirror illusions at least. and these two tap dancing men that did all sorts of styles and they went for a really long time and it was one of my favorite parts of the whole weekend tbh. emily said something about how john would say he could do that and how he’s a cocky asshole and i was just glad we got separated before i could talk shit to her. 

so cabaret was over and we want to find somewhere with some more drinks. most of us wanted a bar but carly said she wouldn’t buy alcohol unless it’s at a club. so we start the hunt of club and it took us over an hour to find one. we kept asking people where to find one and eventually carly started just walking up to people and yelling at them in english to help us, which really was getting us nowhere in life. finally we found one, but i was pretty sober by this point. it was €20 just to enter and have ONE drink and so of course i’m already salty bc that’s hella pricey. i get my vodka lemonade and sit at the table, very overwhelmed by the blasting music and darkness. i got to he bathroom when they all went to the dance floor and just break down in one of the stalls. it was all just too much for me to handle, and it was reaching my peak amount of traveling. megan found me in there and took me back out to the basement, where they found a new place to sit. a few of them went to dance but i legit could not stop crying no matter what i did. it’s not heavy sobbing like the bathroom but just constant tears. i felt awful bc i knew megan wanted to be there for emily on her birthday but i just can’t do clubs, especially not sober.

we go to leave and look for the train station and i asked the security guy if he knew english and he said no but i fired back right away “ou best la station de metro?” and he guided us the right way and it was super easy to figure out go me and my french. when we got back to the room megan called her sister in the hall and i heard her just breaking down completely. when she came in i instantly asked her what was bothering her and she just had some MASSIVE bitching about carry not being a good human being and how megan doesn’t feel wanted anymore. i told her she’s my favorite person on this trip and i’ve never once been annoyed with her and she is always more than welcome to be a part of my life. it was a sweet little moment and kept apologizing for taking me to the club but i kept apologizing for making her leave and we both just had a long day and were ready for the day to be done, especially considering it was 2:30 am.