#only one I can find that kind of fit
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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In Saecula Saeculorum
My contribution for @inklings-challenge 2024! Content warning for death and injury
Playlist link (I HIGHLY recommend listening along I spent like four collective hours on this thing I'm super proud. I am, however, adding which songs are best listened to at which points. They will be the bold italicized captions at the beginning of different sections. All the songs mentioned can be found on the playlist! (also, when you finish Afraid Of Time, just listen to the rest of the playlist straight through. It should line up well enough!))
~Time~
When Stephen Reid was nineteen, he almost got hit by a truck while trying to cross the street. A young woman a few years older than him yanked him back onto the sidewalk as the massive garbage truck barreled past, seemingly unaware that it had almost caused his demise.
Stephen steadied his breathing, heart pounding so hard he could feel it in his throat, then turned to thank the young woman who’d saved him. His mother had drilled good manners into him from a young age, and she’d have scolded him soundly for wandering into the street without looking first, let alone not thanking the person who’d saved him.
But she’d already started moving down the sidewalk, shoulders hunched in her green jacket, her hair (the tips of which were dyed an electric blue) brushing her shoulders as she moved. She was hunched over her cupped hands, whispering to something she was holding, and Stephen frowned. Strange way to hold your phone.
But there were more pressing things on Stephen’s mind. Namely, the fact that the world was tearing itself apart.
When he was little, things were so simple. It wasn’t just that he was a kid—Stephen remembered things had been happy, peaceful. He remembered summers spent digging holes in his backyard with his friends and raking leaves in the autumn. His mother and father had been happy, and life had been good.
As he got older, he saw the little ways things weren’t so good. The strain his father’s job put on him, the leaner times. But his family was still happy.
And then he turned eighteen. And things got really bad. Countries baying for each other’s blood, corrupt leaders turning their backs and doing nothing to help. Every day, the news showed more horrors. Every day, things got worse, and war was on the way. And Stephen knew he couldn’t just sit by and watch. His mother had taught him manners, common sense, and how to be fierce when it was needed. And his father had taught him that if you could help, you did help, and to care even when it was hard.
So that was what Stephen planned to do. In every way possible.
He’d started out with volunteering as he started college classes. There were even more people living on the streets now than ever, and helping make meals at shelters was a step toward helping them.
But then things took an abrupt turn for the worse. And suddenly, they were at war. And Stephen found himself dropping out of school to enlist.
He was twenty when he saw his first dead body—a woman on the side of the road. Face pale, limbs at unnatural angles, blood still staining the front of her shirt. It was an image that didn’t leave his mind for a long, long time.
Two months later he killed someone for the first time. He tried not to remember that. But it wasn’t the last time. Every time he took a life, he found himself mourning, for what the world had come to, for the life that he’d ended.
Stephen may have known the reasons for what he was doing. But that didn’t make it hurt any less, or stop him from wondering if there was a better way he could help.
At twenty-two, he was shot in the line of duty.
It wasn’t the first time he’d been injured. But it was the first time it had been serious enough to warrant being sent to a hospital for a prolonged stay. And as it turned out, it was serious enough that he was discharged from the army. The bullet had shattered bones in his leg, leaving him with a serious limp and pain that never fully went away.
It was strange. One minute he was fighting for his life, the next he was home. Like nothing had changed, like he was supposed to pick up where he left off. Stephen found himself adrift, unsure of his next step. He went back to school, but his old major didn’t seem to fit anymore. Nothing did.
He was twenty-two and a half when one of his classmates dragged him to their local church. Howard was stubborn and usually said exactly what was on his mind, without thought toward how he’d affect others. It was an odd combination of refreshing and very irritating.
And yet, in that sanctuary, Stephen had never seen Howard light up the way he did when the singing started. And listening to the words, he started to understand why.
He’d gone to church growing up, and it had been fine. But this was different. This was something beautiful rediscovered, and he cherished it. Soaked in every word spoken from the front. It was like water after years in the desert, healing after pain for so long. It brought peace he hadn’t known could exist.
Stephen was twenty-three when he changed his major. Not to a pastor, though Howard joked that he might as well, with all the Bible reading and questions. But to a counselor. Someone who could guide others through what he’d gone through, and worse. Someone who could help.
It was a refreshing of his original purpose, a rewriting of his story. It was the right thing to do, and that was all he’d ever wanted.
When he was twenty-seven, he started on an internship. And that was where he met Marian.
She was an astrophysicist, and while Stephen admittedly didn’t understand a lot of what she did, he liked to listen to her talk about it anyway. He liked her smile, too, and her warm brown eyes that lit up like gold in the sunlight. They both loved music, and swapped favorite songs every time they saw each other. She loaned him her favorite book, and Stephen read it eagerly, looking for what she loved in every line.
It took him a while to gather the courage to ask Marian out. Howard—now graduated, running his own construction company, and happily engaged—teased him relentlessly about it. “She likes you, you clearly like her,” the young man would tell him. “What’s the problem?”
“I’m waiting for the right moment,” Stephen would respond, and Howard scoffed in response.
In the end, he didn’t ask her at the right moment. He simply asked her, one day when she was stopping by at his work to talk about the book she’d just finished, eyes bright with happiness. Her smile outshone the sun when she said yes.
One year and six months later, she said yes again when he went down on one knee on a date to one of the few functioning observatories left in the country. He would have given her every star in the sky if he could have, but Marian settled for a diamond ring and a small wedding at her brother’s farm. Stephen hadn’t known someone could hold this much joy within them without bursting.
Two years later, Stephen was thirty years old. And that was when things started to get strange.
~~~
~Prepping For Rescue~
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
She avoided his gaze as she strapped on her protective gear. While the technology they were using had come a long way since the beginning of its use, there were still dangers. Being pulled through time and space could cause serious injury or damage, and the cuffs she was locking into place would generate a field that could protect her from that. Strange, how they almost felt like shackles, weighing her down, when they were the only thing bringing her hope right now.
“You know I am,�� she said. “We already tested it. We can go back now, not just forward. And if I have that chance—”
“You’re gonna take it. I know,” he said. “But we still don’t know everything about this. We don’t know how it could affect the timeline. You could start wars, cause innumerable deaths. You could prevent yourself from even being born.”
“I know the risks.” She finished with the cuffs and grabbed her jacket, pulling it on to hide the cuffs from sight. “I don’t care.”
He looked like he wanted to comment on that very much, but just sighed. “Okay. Do you have your location drone?”
“Her name is Penni,” she informed him, and he sighed again.
“It’s a robot. It doesn’t have a name.”
She couldn’t hold back a smile at the old argument. “She does now. And I have her here.” Slipping a hand into her pocket, she pulled out a flat, circular object about the size of her palm. The domed top flickered between different colors, trying to camouflage itself with its surroundings, and it zipped into the air, hovering right above her shoulder. She brushed a hand along Penni’s surface, taking a deep breath.
“Good. Keep her with you, and I’ll be able to bring you back,” he reminded her. “Otherwise…things could get ugly. Because this is all supposed to be theoretical.”
“Then I guess I’m a pioneer,” she said, mouth suddenly dry. Squaring her shoulders, she said, “Let’s do this thing.”
~~~
Exactly twenty-seven days before his thirty-first birthday, Stephen was on his way home from work. He stopped at a grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner—Marian was working later than usual, and he wanted to surprise her with a delicious home cooked meal when she got home.
When he stepped out of the store, a car drove by at top speed and shot him three times in the chest. Two other pedestrians were hit, but he was the only casualty.
Except he wasn’t.
He heard the car screech around the corner, and looked up in time to see the dark barrel of a gun pointing out a window—and then a girl slammed bodily into him, sending him crashing to the ground.
Glass from the store windows shattered upon the bullet’s impact, tinkling against the pavement. There were screams, and Stephen pushed himself into a sitting position with a groan, looking around as the car roared away.
Two other pedestrians lay on the ground—one hit in the shoulder, the other only grazed in the arm. Stephen automatically moved to help them, calling for someone to call the cops, his head spinning.
Because there had been a moment where he’d known, he’d been sure, that he was going to die. Not just fear. Utter confidence. He’d all but felt the bullets pass through his body.
But instead, a girl had saved his life.
The girl. Stephen glanced around—but there was no sign of her. And all he could remember, as he later recounted to the cops, then Marian, was a blur of green jacket and blue hair.
Something about the description itched at the back of his brain, but he wasn’t sure what. All he knew is that he was somehow, impossibly alive. And he was grateful for it.
Two days later they found out Marian was pregnant.
~~~
“It worked,” she gasped, stumbling away from the framework of the machine.
Her friend looked up, eyes widening. “It—it did? Are you okay?”
She nodded, then stumbled again, and he caught her by the arm, hauling her upward. “Whoa. Sit down, have something to drink. We should check you out—”
“I’m fine,” she said, waving away his worry. “It worked, Tad. He—he’s not dead. Is he? I can’t—I can’t think—”
Steering her into a chair, Tad said, “Disorientation is a common side effect after traveling. Let me look at the database—drink some water.”
Taking the water bottle he shoved into her hands before moving to the computer, she gulped down some of the contents, her head spinning. “Do you remember how it was before?” she asked. “You said that you might not—”
“I think being close to the temporal field distortion preserved my memory,” Tad said, typing rapidly. “It’s fascinating, and if we don’t get arrested for this, I’ll write a paper–oh.”
Her stomach dropped as his face fell. “What?”
“You…almost succeeded.” Reading from the screen, he said, “Stephen Reid, died age thirty-two, in the ‘65 train bombings.”
“What?” Rocketing out of her chair, she moved to his side, swaying a little. Tad put a hand out to steady her as she bent over the screen. “How?”
“Looks like he was injured, but didn’t let on because he was busy helping others to safety,” Tad read. Glancing at her, he said, “I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but—”
She was already moving toward the machine. “We have to go again.”
“What? I don’t think that’s a good idea. You already somehow created a temporal loop when you first went in. Who knows what—”
Spinning around, she said, “We can’t save him from being murdered just to let him die in a freak accident. It’s not—no. We’re fixing this.”
“And you don’t think this has anything to do with—”
Fixing him with a fierce glare, she said, “We’re going. Again.”
~~~
~The Typewriter Theme~
If that was the only incident, Stephen would have accepted it and moved on. He wasn’t dead, and that was something he was fiercely grateful for. His wife was pregnant, and instead of being dead he was there. For the moment when their little girl came into the world, and he held her close for the first time.
They named her Zara Grace Reid, and Stephen’s heart was full. For two long years, they had peace.
Then, when he was thirty-two, things started getting bad again. The governments were all fighting, and groups of dissenters were getting angry at, well, everyone, no matter who they claimed to hold responsible for everything going badly. Danger of terror threats grew more and more present.
The day after Zara’s birthday, Stephen was taking the train to a meeting across town. But when he got to the door, his ticket was missing. Racking his brains, Stephen vaguely remembered slipping it into his jacket pocket—and a girl bumping into him as they crossed paths in the station.
Strange. Who would steal a train ticket? He considered buying another one, but it was a nice day and he was in no hurry. He decided to walk.
Two blocks later the world exploded. Four trains, all across the city, blew up at once, killing hundreds in a deadly attack.
Stephen not only saw it when it happened, he felt it. In his chest, like he was on the train when it happened. But no sooner had the feeling come then it was gone and he was running toward the rubble, hoping desperately that he could pull someone, anyone out.
He missed his meeting and saved twelve lives that day. All the while wondering at the phantom pain in his side, but there was too much to do for him to care.
Hours later, he made it home after Marian, cleaned up, and only by the time he fell into bed did he wonder—did the girl who took my ticket know?
~~~
“SIX MONTHS?”
Pacing back and forth, she glared into space. “I only bought him six months? What does he do that makes these people want him dead so badly?”
“It’s pretty fishy,” he agreed, typing rapidly. “Okay, the records are a little messy, but I think I know the exact date. Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine. Let’s go again.”
~~~
The thought didn’t really leave Stephen, as he racked his brain to remember what the girl looked like. He remembered dark hair with a splash of blue, and the girl had been holding something small. And those thoughts tugged at other memories—of a day almost twenty years ago, when someone had pulled him out of the way of a truck. Of the shooting before Zara was born.
He wasn’t able to really consider the idea, let alone voice it. Not until six months later, when there was a fire in his work building, and someone locked the door of his office, leaving him trapped inside while the flames grew and the smoke filled his lungs.
He’d been in tight spots before. He’d been trained, in the Army, not to panic, even when it was logical to do so. But as his oxygen seeped away and the door refused to budge, even as he bashed at it with a chair, Stephen found himself absolutely terrified.
No. No, this can’t be it. Images of Marian and Zara flickered through his head and he knew he had to fight, had to live at all costs. But if there was nothing he could do—
The door swung open, and someone pulled him forward.
~~~
~The Hornburg~
“I wonder what makes them choose the intervals they do,” Tad mused as he typed. “Is there someone else preventing them? Do we just do this for the rest of our lives? Are they experts or are they just trying everything and every year they can to kill him? Furthermore, what’s going to stop them from just going back to the same year and trying again—”
He stopped short when he saw her face. “Which…they definitely can’t do. Most likely. I think they can’t, anyway. It’s just that the science is so—I’m sorry. They haven’t done it yet, they probably won’t ever.”
“I hope not,” she said, checking her cuffs and scooping up Penni, who chirped a little greeting. “The last thing we need is more things to worry about.”
“Or to send you through more times.” His worry showed through the edges of his speech. “You don’t have to—”
“Let’s go again.”
“Okay.”
~~~
Stephen made it out of the fire and he could have cried with gratitude. The firefighters who arrived on scene seemed very startled to see him stumble out of the building, coughing—they said that the last man to come out had sworn up and down that there was no one else inside.
And they swore with equal fervor that they hadn’t sent anyone else in. They claimed that he must have made it out under his own steam somehow—adrenaline, maybe?
Stephen knew better.
“There are two options,” he told Marian when he explained everything to her later that day. Her brow was furrowed like it always was when she tried to solve a problem. “Either I have a literal guardian angel, or somehow the exact same person is traveling through time and space to save me.”
“I’m not sure which is more improbable,” Marian said slowly. They were sitting at the table, and her fingers twitched against the surface like she wished she had something to write on. “Bending time and space isn’t…unheard of, per se, but we’re years away from being able to achieve it under our own steam. And if we assume they’re from the future, they’d be moving into the past, which is, theoretically, even harder.”
“But then there’s the guardian angel idea,” Stephen said, grinning at her expression. “Which you think is scientifically impossible?”
She let out a long sigh. “I’ve learned not to count anything out when it comes to our faith. So…I don’t know.”
Reaching across the table, Stephen caught her hand and gave it a squeeze. “We’ll just have to pray that whatever this is keeps ending up at the right place at the right time.”
Their prayers were answered when, two years later, someone tried to shoot Stephen again. And again, he was pulled out of the way just in time.
~~~
“So,” Tad said, staring at the screen.
“Yup,” she said.
“A sibling, huh?”
She rolled her eyes. “Let’s do it again.”
~~~
It started happening more frequently. A near knifing in an alleyway, a car barreling toward him as he crossed the street. Every time, it was thwarted. Sometimes, he didn’t even see it coming—the coffee knocked out of his hands that hissed alarmingly on contact with the concrete, leaving it pitted and worn, for instance.
But every time, the attackers failed. And eventually, Stephen started to wonder if they should stop prevention and start focusing on the attackers. The only problem? He had no idea how to do that.
So he decided to reach out to the person who did.
~~~
“How. Did he do that?” Tad asked, staring at the screen.
“He must have realized what we’re doing, somehow,” she whispered. “I mean, he’s married to an astrophysicist, he has to have picked something up.”
Shaking his head, Tad said, “Okay, then how do we respond?”
She stared at the screen for a moment longer, thinking as she reread the lines on the screen. More specifically, the email Tad had found during his usual archive wide search for anything pertaining to Stephen Reid.
He’d sent it to himself, apparently hoping that it would be good enough. And it had been.
To whoever is helping me:
Thank you. I don’t know who you are or if you’ll receive this, but I have faith it’ll end up in the right hands.
Clearly someone wants me dead, for whatever reason. Instead of preventing it, why don’t we get rid of the attackers? Let me know how and when to help.
Stephen.
“What do we do?” Tad asked quietly
She studied it for a moment longer, then said, “We answer. I can slip him a message on my next trip. Have you located who it is and why yet?”
“I think so.” Opening a new screen, Tad tapped on the article he pulled up. “There’s a stabbing, two years from the next attempt, in an alley nearby his route to work. Exactly the kind of thing he’d get involved in and try to stop, right?”
Nodding slowly, she said, “Right. But why this person?”
“No idea. They’re dead in every timeline so far. They must do something that the attackers aren’t a fan of.”
Taking a deep breath, she said, “Then let’s hope we’re not actually on their side.”
~~~
~FREEPORT~
For a while, Stephen didn’t think his message had worked. Things were peaceful—no attacks, no poisonings. Marian found out she was pregnant again, and nine months somehow managed to fly and drag by until she gave birth to a healthy baby boy, who they named Isaiah.
And then three months after that, it happened again.
At exactly the right moment, he was pushed forward, just in time to avoid a bunch of tiles crashing to the ground from the roof. When he caught his balance and his breath, there was no one there. But when Stephen put his hands in his jacket pocket as he started onward again, he found a slip of paper.
10/11/71. Four in the afternoon on your way home from work. Watch the alleyway off Racine. Be ready.
This was it. This was the answer. A little under a year in future, he’d be able to fix this, for good. Whatever this was.
So he kept the paper tucked in his pocket until it grew worn, the folds flimsy. He kept going with life—worked and went to church and looked after his wife and children. He avoided two more attacks in that time, and every time, his mysterious helper was there just in time, only to disappear before he could get a good look at her.
Finally, the day came. Stephen usually carried a knife, out of habit, and this time he made sure he had it, just in case. The day passed in a haze of business as he worked with patients and did paperwork and wondered what exactly was going to happen.
And then work was over. It was 3:45, and he was walking home from work, hands tucked in his pockets, trying to pretend like his heart wasn’t thundering in his chest.
3:47. He passed the cart that sold churros. Oftentimes he stopped to buy one and chat with the owner, but for now Stephen just gave her a little wave and kept moving, pace brisk.
3:50. A couple of kids zipped by on bikes, laughing.
3:51. He heard footsteps behind him, and his heart lurched. Be ready, Stephen.
3:55. The sidewalk came to an end at an intersection, and he turned onto the sidewalk along Racine.
3:58. He wove through a group of teenagers and sped up a little. He could see the opening for the alleyway.
3:59. Heart pounding in his throat, Stephen came to a stop outside the alleyway.
4:00.
For a heartbeat, there was nothing. And then he heard a muffled scream from the alleyway.
Instinctively, Stephen started forward, concern rippling through him. It had been the voice of a girl—young, too young. Most likely not his helper, but that didn’t lower his concern.
He made it two steps forward before he was grabbed from behind. Stephen vaguely registered the cold press of steel against his throat for a heartbeat before he moved, driving an elbow backward into his attacker’s gut.
There was a grunt—a man’s voice, judging by the baritone—but the grip didn’t loosen. Until Stephen snapped his head backward , connecting solidly with the other man’s nose.
There was a crunch and a howl of pain, and Stephen felt the knife at his throat break skin—
And then the grip was gone, and he was stumbling forward, hand pressed against the shallow cut on his neck. Spinning around, Stephen registered a man in all black taking a swing at a young woman—green jacket, hair dyed blue at the tips, holding a weapon he didn’t recognize. What looked like a tiny flying saucer hovered next to her shoulder.
“Help her!” she shouted, dodging her opponent’s blow with ease.
For a moment, Stephen didn’t know what she meant. And then he remembered the scream from the alleyway, and turned. Pulling his knife from his pocket, he moved.
There were two men, both trying to subdue a struggling, terrified girl. One had a hand over her mouth, and the other held a wickedly curved knife. Stephen took a moment to wonder why these people insisted on using knives, and then he was on top of them.
Clearly, either of the men were expecting him. The one holding the blade went flying into the wall with a cry of pain, clutching his shoulder where Stephen’s knife had gone deep, tearing through muscle.
The second tried to reel backward, avoiding Stephen as he clutched for his own weapon while clinging to his victim. But Stephen smashed his fist into the man’s face, catching hold of the girl’s arm and pulling her away at the same time, using the man’s momentum as he fell to tear her free.
He took a minute to glance at her—no sign of injuries, just bright red hair and freckles and shocked tears starting to escape—and then turned to face his opponents again.
Only to find them gone, a trace of blood on the ground the only sign that they’d been there in the first place.
What? Baffled, Stephen turned in a full circle, then glanced at the girl. “Are you okay?” he asked, and she nodded shakily. “Okay. Wait here a minute. Call if you need me.”
Moving quickly, he headed back to the mouth of the alleyway, to see if there was any sign of his mysterious helper, or her opponent. But there was nothing. Just the now oddly dusty sidewalk, passersby who seemed to have no idea what had happened, and—
A scrap of white paper. Stephen bent and picked it up, unfolding it, and read the now familiar lopsided script inside.
She’s safe. You both are, unless you see me again. Look after her. Don’t worry about the other attackers.
There was no signature, although Stephen hadn’t expected one. A wave of relief swept over him, and he breathed out a prayer of thanks.
He was safe. They were both safe. It was done.
~~~
~Afraid Of Time~
“It’s not done,” she said.
“What?” Tad stared at her, baffled. “How can it not be done? We saved the victims, including a victim we didn’t even know we had until now, helped catch time traveling murderers, and hopefully we’re not even getting arrested for using government property without permission. Your mom might not even yell at us. How is this not a win—”
He stopped short, looking at her. As she looked at the computer file in front of her, wishing the words were different.
Stephen Reid. Died 10/12/83
“Zee.” Tad’s voice was soft. “You can’t stop everything.”
“That’s kind of the point of this whole time travel thing, Tad. I can.” Taking a deep breath, she said, “I’m stopping this. I’m going in again.”
~~~
Stephen had always loved autumns. The crisp, cool air, the knowledge of the approaching season that heralded celebrations and wonder and joy and family time. How could he do anything but love it?
Sure, he’d almost died at this time of year a few times, but with his life, when was that not true?
It had been 12 years since the last incident. He’d helped the girl—Jenny, a teenager who’d been alone and afraid and had no idea why those men had attacked her—to the hospital to get checked out. They repeated the same impossible story to the police over and over until they finally got tired of asking and declared the case closed. Stephen was fine with it. He’d been told they were safe, and he believed that.
Years had passed. Jenny became all but a member of the family, and he and Marian encouraged her and supported as she chose a career path and moved forward with her life. Stephen still wasn’t sure what the men wanted with her, but it didn’t matter. Her purpose was her own to discover.
His other two children were far too close to grown up for his taste, as well. Isaiah was thirteen, flirting with girls, and discovering a love for basketball paralleled only by his love for mischief. And Zara was in college, pursuing a degree in physics.
He held great hope and joy for both of them, that they would grow up to change the world in whatever small or big ways the Lord had planned for them. If Stephen was being honest, he held a very specific theory for one of them, as time passed and the similarity grew stronger and stronger.
And that was why, on his walk home from work, he wasn’t overly surprised to see a familiar figure at his bus stop.
She was sitting on the bench, knees pulled up against her chest. Her hair, dark like her mother’s where it wasn’t blue, covered her face in a curtain, and the tiny flying saucer hovered at her shoulder again. As Stephen drew closer, he heard it letting out soft little chirps, like it was trying to comfort her.
Sitting next to her with a grunt, Stephen set down his bag and leaned back. Glancing at her, he said, “Nice day, isn’t it?”
Her chin jerked up a little, like she was surprised to hear his voice, then lowered again. Stephen watched her for a moment, debating whether or not he should speak again, when she did, voice low and cautious.
“If you could know the day that you died, would you want to?”
Stephen considered for a moment, tapping a finger against his knee. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “My instinct would be no—why live in dread of something like that? But I can’t say I would be curious.”
“Who wouldn’t be?” the girl agreed, voice still quiet. “What if…what if you could stop it? If someone just told you the right things?”
A heavy feeling began to settle over Stepehn’s chest. “Can you?” he asked, abandoning all pretense.
She let out a choked sob, and Stephen felt a stab of sadness. “I tried,” she choked out. “I tried again and again, but no matter what I do—”
“It’s okay,” Stephen told her, gently reaching out to touch her shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”
Letting her feet drop down, the girl scrubbed a hand across her face angrily. “You don’t understand.”
“I think I might,” Stephen said, his voice very soft.
She shook her head. “No, you don’t. For you, it’s been another twenty years, but for me…I thought I’d get to go home and—” she stopped short, staring across the street, eyes red.
“And I’d be there?”
She swiveled to face him, eyes going wide. “What—how did you—”
“You’re my daughter, Zara. How could I not recognize you?”
Her face crumpled, and Stephen slid across the bench to pull her into a hug as she burst into tears. She pressed her face against his shoulder and he ran his hand over her hair, the way he used to when she was a little girl.
Closing his eyes against tears of his, he whispered, “It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” she mumbled, voice muffled by his shirt. “I was supposed to get you back.”
“You did,” Stephen pointed out. “Just not for as long as you wanted. But you were the one who saved me, so many times. You’re the reason I got to watch you and Isaiah grow up, and I will never stop being grateful for that. You’re the reason Jenny’s alive.”
“It’s not enough,” she whispered. “This shouldn’t be the last time I see you.”
Stephen almost laughed, tears springing to his eyes. “It won’t be. If there’s one thing I hope your mother and I taught you, it’s that.”
Pressing a kiss against the top of her head, he pulled back a little, taking a look at her. Zara had his wife’s beauty and dark wavy hair, and he wondered when she would dye the tips blue. Her eyes were the same warm brown as Marian’s—oh, Marian—and right now, they were wet with tears.
“I don’t want to let you go,” she said, voice shaking.
“I know,” Stephen said, heart aching. All he wanted was to tell his daughter that it was going to be okay, that he was going to be able to come home. But it was becoming increasingly clear that he couldn’t make that promise.
Instead, he asked, “Tell me about what you do next. Tell me everything.”
So they sat on the bench, and Zara told him about her work and her best friend Tad—whom Stephen had already met, but the two hadn’t grown close yet—and how Isaiah was coaching at a local high school and Marian was still working, still looking out for Jenny, still going to church every day. “She still loves you so much,” Zara told him. “Even when I never knew you, she’d tell me about you and how important you were to her. I—I thought I could bring you home to her.”
“You did,” Stephen pointed out, remembering all the days he’d almost died, and all the days his daughter had saved his life. His daughter.
Eventually, the bus came around the corner, and the little flying saucer at Zara’s shoulder let out a chirp. Zara’s eyes widened, and she glanced up. “I—”
“You have to go,” Stephen guessed.
“I don’t want to,” she whispered.
“I know. But if this is it, I don’t want you to have to watch it.”
Shaking her head, Zara said, “You shouldn’t have to be alone.”
“I’m not alone,” Stephen told her, and he meant it. Though his heart was heavy with grief, it wasn’t for him. And he knew—he was sure of it—that his family would be alright. They were strong enough to look after each other without him.
Getting to his feet, he waited until Zara did the same, then pulled her into a fierce hug. “I love you,” he told her. “And I’m proud of you. You and Isaiah, you’re the best thing I’ve ever done.”
She was openly crying now, but nodded, holding him tightly for another minute. “I love you, too,” she said.
And then stepped back and the bus was there. Stephen took one last look at her, taking in every detail. At last, he turned and boarded the bus, taking a seat in the back.
It lurched into motion, and Stephen glanced out the window at the now empty bus stop. I’ll see you again, he thought. And he knew, in his heart, it was true.
Pulling out his phone, he opened up his text messages and began one to Marian.
I love you, Mari. I love the life we’ve lived together for the past twenty years. Thank you for being the best wife and friend I could have ever asked for.
Looking up, Stephen took one last look around him, and wondered what would come next. He knew more than most sitting on the bus did, and yet found himself frightened. And yet, at the same time, excited.
Whatever else happened, he was ready, with no regrets.
He sent the text.
~~~
Zara was still crying when she stumbled back into her own time, bones aching fiercely. Most trips, she’d taken a break in between, but for the past five or so, she’d gone in without stopping, time after time. Trying desperately to stop what she knew was going to happen.
It hadn’t worked.
But somehow, despite the tears and the ache in her heart, it was okay.
“Zara?”
Tad had moved to stand in front of her, face twisted with concern. “Are you okay? Or—are you hurt?”
Shaking her head, Zara took a shaking breath. “I’m okay,” she said, and he gave her an unconvinced look. “Fine, I’m not hurt. And I…” she trailed off.
“It didn’t work,” Tad said quietly. “Zee, I know you want to do this, but so many trips in a row are hurting you. And if this is so hard to stop—”
“I know,” Zara said, taking a deep breath. “It’s okay. I’m…I’m not going in again.”
Tad’s eyes widened. “Really? I—I didn’t expect that to work.”
“It didn’t,” Zara said, and couldn’t hold back a laugh at his expression. “I…I talked to my dad. It’s okay.”
“You’re sure?” Tad said slowly. “Because five minutes ago you were very ready to keep doing this or die trying.”
Nodding, Zara swiped a hand over her face, ridding herself of the last traces of tears. “I am. I got to say goodbye, and…he’s right. I’m gonna see him again. Someday.”
Resting a gentle, if slightly awkward, hand on her shoulder, Tad nodded. “I’m glad. He’d be proud of you, Zee.”
“Thanks, Tad.” Zara took a deep breath. It was time to stop living in the past, and start looking at the new, and slightly changed present she had waiting for her.
And when the time came to see her father again, she would greet him with joy and the knowledge that she’d lived her life to the fullest, like he had. Until then, all she could do was take the first step toward doing that.
#inklingschallenge#team tolkien#inklings challenge#genre: time travel#theme: counsel#theme: comfort#story: complete#this actually turned out so much better than i thought it would#there were. some moments#but i like the vibes#also now i'm obsessed with two of these ocs and need to feature them in more content#fun fact this could and probably does exist in the same universe as my kyvis stories#which is a HILARIOUS concept that i shall have to explore more#anyway i digress#i'd apologize for how overboard i went with the playlist BUT#a) you can just ignore it if you want to#and b) it's a masterpiece and i love it so much#it's for the VIBES GUYS#and i haven't spent this long waiting to find a character that fits how do i say goodbye only to not share when i do find one#MOVING ON#writing stories is a kind of magic too
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Reminder that the book age gap could easily be a mistake/confusion that entered the historical memory of Westeros. It is entirely supportable for the show to present a narrative where Rhaenyra and Alicent are close in age, based in how historical records for early periods work. And it is certainly supportable for them to explore this as an example of queer people being erased from historical memory.
"Fire & Blood" is fundamentally different from the main books of the series. Those are written from the pov of characters directly experiencing events. "Fire & Blood" is a series of biased, largely secondhand accounts mashed together long after events by someone who wasn't there. The text itself tells you it's biased and confused in stunning moments like this:
--"Fire and Blood," page 502
We don't even know if Rhaenyra wept or SMILED at the sight of her little nephew's decapitated head! How can you look at a text like that and try to say there's a firm "canon" there that the show or other fans have to rigidly obey? It's intentionally written in such a way where there is no such thing, and the tv writers have leaned into the potential of that.
In our own world--as I've discussed before here--the ages of historical figures can become confused, especially from earlier periods. As a moot pointed out to me, even someone as famous as Anne Boleyn's age is a matter of debate:
I think people should be able to explore the text multiple ways and play with different interpretations, but the (so often repeated) argument that the tv show's approach is "breaking with canon" (as if such an idea even applies to an intentionally biased/conflicted set of narratives as the one we get in Fire & Blood!) is trying to fashion the text into a weapon in a way that it is ill suited to.
#rhaenicent#hotd meta#house of the dragon#“Fire and Blood” book “purists” remind me of biblical literalists#taking an inherently multiple - inherently contradictory - inherently biased set of accounts#picking the interpretation they like best#and saying it is the ONLY ONE ALLOWED#and going on a rampage against anyone who explores other interpretations#with obsessive zeal#and i am sick of it#this is not the kind of text you can use like that#find some other more fitting weapon to wage your gross fandom wars with - or maybe don't treat other people like that to begin with!
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im a eurydice = solas truther btw and ill die for my beliefs
be so serious........ and lavellan as orpheus......
#I NEED TO BE LOBOTOMIZED. TRULY.#i dont even know where to start i feel like i cant even post abt this bc theres no way all my thoughts can fit coherently lol#like the 2nd act/hadestown soul-selling business is just solas committing to his goals....#who would win eurydice/solas ''i walk the dinan'shiral - there is only death on this journey'' or orpheus/lavellan walking it anyway lol#to find them and bring them home again#also if the solas-is-a-spirit-that-mythal-bound theory turns out true then the hades = mythal parallels well. they are parelleling <3#''And the choice is yours / if you're willing to choose / Seeing as you've got nothing to lose / And I could use a canary'' HELLO????#ik the other popular interpretation is solas as orpheus but idk solas/eurydice just makes me crazy . it works so well#like theres that one interaction thats like#eurydice: “i havent seen a spring or fall since.... i cant recall”#orpheus "thats what im working on / a song to fix what's wrong / take whats broken#make it whole / a song so beautiful / it brings the world back into tune''#and thats very solas coded. BUT its also such a good parellel to high approval lavellan's fixing the world thru the inquisition/anchor#and thru their kindness and curiosity and all the things he thought were lost in arlathan. the things that make him think maybe shes Real#and it could all be real and worthwhile.#solas recognising the depth and personhood of lavellan thru their [from his pov endearingly naive] actions and spirit#''i havent seen a spring or fall since...i cant recall'' / ''you show a wisdom i have not seen since.... since my deepest journeys into the#ancient memories of the fade'' what if i lost my entire goddamn mind. what if i just completely lost it lol#ok im done im so sorry i feel like harrassing every single person ive ever met with this information like idek what to do with myself lol
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Recent-ish things ~
#photo diary#1 - love this image of Noodle.. such a weird angle that makes his head look entirely round like a puff ball or something#2 - a more recent (still from months ago) collection of my pressed flowers and 4 leaf clovers I found.#3. Being one of the only people in 2024 still going 'hee heee I've just bought a new wii game!' but.. I have. >:3#It's kind of like Wii Sports Resort but is like.. open world? so your character can actually walk around and stuff. REALLY makes me#wish I had the type of set up where I could record video from my wii and stuff like some gaming youtubers have. I think it'd be a really#fun game to play on video and to DOCUMENT it!!! I keep wishing I could screenshot my little guy walking around but I caaant..#I've literally just been taking out my phyiscal camera and photographing the screen which always looks bad.. augh..#4. Something in the froxen food aisle called 'Wellington Bites' a play on beef wellington. suprisingly good actually. but I guess anything#with like beef and mushrooms usually is. But it seems like.. oddly decent for frozen food stuff.#5 - boye looking Round again.. 6 - updated score in the wii fit minigame again. This time less than 4 seconds#for each round? which may be a record for me? 7 & 8 - fat bird in the snow. fatt bird in the SNOW!! Hoping that climate change and H5N1#don't eventually remove all trace of birds and winter weather from my life in the future... -_-#9 - ..ough... a few paltry writings.. Except for the one day of 4000 words. But for the most part I have been making soo litte progress#because of the holidays and drs appointments and such a rush of all these other mind distracting things.. Or if I'm not doing something the#I'm feeling tired from having PREVIOUSLY done something so I waste the whole day being sleepy and headachey... GRR...#the funny thing is that like many many years ago I wrote a note on my wall saying 'FOCUS! write 2hr a day or more or youre going to finish#your game in 2025!!!' - which back in 2018 when I wrote it was like unimaginably far into the future but now... ahem.. hem... I guess that#is quite literally the case LOL. To my credit I did parctically abandon it entirely since late 2019 and JUST now picked up really#trying to focus on it in mid 2024 but still... My '''ridiculous'' projection being actually likely the correct one..#10 - I just thoughtit would be silly to put a bunch of keychain things on the wii remote. imagine playing this way. getting constantly#jabbed in the hand by plastic bits. and the jingling clinking noise it would be always making lol#11 - sky.. huzzah for the sky as always. Clouds my beloved#Gr.. I just really want to wriiite. My new years hopes are to finish my game and to get stuff set up to start selling sculptures again.#AND then maybe do more game videos lol... I miss playing games. I dont think I've posted on that youtube for like 5 months#I've just had so much appointments and Things and Stuff and focusing so much on other projects. But that is the thing that really#feels relaxing and fun for me. so like.. 1. finish game 2. sell sculpture/make sculpture 3. play games 4. find more friends#and social connection and networking or whatever the hell people have to do to be successful 5. do more costume/outfits.#<( saying this all on a day where I did none of those things LOL... I got erm.. maybe 400 words done today.. >:'3c )#6 is MOVE away from the evil west coast (hot.. fires in summer. etc) but like. not happening unless I suddenly become a millionaire so. -_-
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this is smth thats not gonna make sense to most ppl who follow me but 'm Thinking again so tag rambly
#i really miss lightdogs! they were so fun and Yes okay the community. in hindsight. kind of sucked butt#but i had a lotta fun there and even though i DID need the money from selling my dogs i miss them#like i know the sad fam is SAFE and fine and i wouldn't wanna get them back from the person who has them bc i trust that person#and i dont .. know where the silly babies are but im sure theyre fine too#and the few others i had like redwood and whatnot i've made ocs to fit the story roles they had so i don't NEED them back#but idk there was smth about the simplicity of them that i really liked#and i haven't been able to confidently make a new oc who captures that level of simplicity without feeling Bad or making them complex#and idk. friend i like got me into them so theyre nostalgic n happy#its been like .#fiveee years... but i think about them a lot#i don't know if i'd want a Lightdog™ again or if id be happier to just find some sorta medium where i can make a character that gives me#the same emotions that the dogs did#but man if it was still a species you KNOW i'd be busting my ass right now to get sp-inspired customs from the mods LMAO#though by now i'm sure there'd be so many it'd be REALLY hard to pick a theme lolol#idk! rolls around. i'm not big on species anymore and find myself only creating one or two lately and then sorta drifting off bc i do#personal development outside of the species world#but i like the Feeling of being in a community- and when i didnt have Fandom™ to give me community i was like. unhealthy about species tbh#overworking myself and sometimes spending money i didnt really have; i like that now i'm Better about it#but man.......................... critters................................ sigh......#pine prattles#this one really is a fuckin prattle
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main reason i wanna make clothes even on a small casual scale for myself is there's soooooo many cute things i see. alas. i am fat.
#some of the dresses/top i see im like. i want that. oh. oh it's for skinny people only. anyways#i only got into this kind of stuff within the last couple of years. shopping in the womans section is like. damn. damn i know stuff sucked#but i didn't know exactly how bad. as a person who mostly wore leggings/skinny jeans/t-shirts#i've been lucky to find stuff and been able to piece together what i think are nice outfits in my style from discount/thrift shops#i know some fellow fat people aren't that lucky but honestly it's abt diy#this coming from someone from a tiny ass area where finding thrifted clothes requires sorting through so much shit#until you find one or two nice pieces that'll fit you. or that you can diy into something your style#i can't sympathize with fellow plus sized people who use stuff like shein like cmon......#i get wanting to dress cute but. like. fr.
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JUMPING UP AND DOWN!!,,,!!,! I DREW!,!,,,!!!!,,
yo cuando mujeres sobrenaturales
#So like… I don’t know how to explain what I just did#Basically She is. Um. Benevolent shapeshifting entity#She is a giantess (ig) and she takes a stroll around the world in a constant loop#Everyone sees her differently. Everyone has a unique sight of her. No one has seen the same version of her#By the way her name IS She. I’m not motivated enough to make som up.#Anyway as I was saying uhhh yeah so#She’s basically a concept materialized into reality#She isn’t like a normal human at all. Her skin is elastic (almost like that black goop that ppl thought was solid until som time ago)#((I can’t find or remember the name of the black goop I’m talking ab. imma look so weird. But I swear it exists 😭))#(((GOOGLE ITS NOT FUCKING OOBLECK ITS WAY MORE SPECIFIC THAN THAT FUCK YOU)))#Also uhh back to the main topic. She is going to be eaten alive by men#Kind of like Gulliver and the liliputians#PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IM TALKING AB ISNT NICHE AND THAT I SHOULD BE LOCKED UP 😭#I had a Lilliputian dictionary when I was a kid…#ANYWAY ughh I keep getting distracted#Honestly that’s kind of about it as of now#Also I’m debating if all of her forms should be completely naked or if they should maybe have a little clothing accessories#I’m mainly debating this bc of things such as hijabs. Burqas. Niqabs. Etc.#They should also be included in the beauty thing right? But it’d be inconsistent world building for She’s concept maybe?#She is only her liquid form. Where would she get the clothing articles? And how would they fit her gigantic size?#Well. Whatever. I can do whatever I want and bend rules however I want. If She goes fully naked or wears something it’s her choice.#There’s a lot more stuff I want to mention but it’s whatever#traditional art#Pencil art#concept art#story wip#Women
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hi!!!!! haven’t been able to get any coherent thoughts down yet but i just wanted to let you know i Have been rotating your post in my mind…….was thinking about it in the back of multiple ubers today…..rain pattering against the window…………like, oh my goodness! YOUR MIND!!!!!!!!!!!! wishing you well. hope you have a safe, healthy, and happy new year!! 💗
"enough music", dorianne laux
#have been trying for SO long to find you the rain on the windows poem i wanted. needless to say i did not succeed.#but! dorianne laux does evoke the kind of emotion the backseat in the rain conveyed to me#and it is very much a poem about not having the things to say so. fitting.#liv in the replies#happy new year to you too!!!!! thank you <3#also on a side note. for my brain.#maybe it's what we don't say that saves us#UNHINGED line thank you. i don't have the narratives presently but my god they're there.#thinking about journeymen and long road trips and that one chris driedger article about driving up and down all the time#and YES OK FINE I WILL TAG IT#the caterpillar and the chrysalis#the chrysalis and the caterpillar#maybe one of these days i should figure out which tag is the proper one and condense it but today is not that day.#it is purely i think for the sake of the 'we stopped once or twice' (trades) the journey metaphorical but you were always on the same road#the same path/end together. seeing the same lines out the window. a long drive (love) talked enough listened enough enough music#(unrelatedly to that but to the view where did i put all my roadkill poems because also: the blur out the window.)#enough music who's the fuckass locker room dj two old men with their audiobooks lmao (enough! maybe one listening by force & not by choice)#and the enough repetition makes me think of the other poem that goes enough seen enough had enough kiss the dumb animal ->#ltir retirement 'the cry of the body—and you always want to give it what it wants. but i must say no—enough / with more tenderness'#how you know when to quit. the cry of the body/heart never to stop with a) when you can no longer make a fist but b) the one i had#about pain & motion & only finding out when you stop re: fibulas i think & dance. the ache of no motion the heart against its own best time
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Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Elide Lochan#Finnula#no spoilers pls first read along w me chapter spoilers in post & tags below w more annotations/quotes/notes/reacts/perspective 3 of 4#The City of Rivers… can Aelin get a City of Fire? cuz that would be cool & Elide already said “fear was another companion it can’t be worse#IT WAS LORCANS SHIRT😭 & he cared so much he lied so she’d use it from Gavriel/Rowan😭 OH ELORCAN😭😭😭#Yet this place seemed like a paradise. WHATS REAL? is it a Maeve illusion… but it sounds lovely; like Rowan could just fly around😭#Pink and blue flowers draped from windowsills; little canals wended between some of the streets ferrying people in bright long boats.#And though a good dose of fear would aid in her cover too much would spell her doom. -smart clever spy gal Annabeth Chase would be proud#And this city Rowan had told Elide had been built from stone to keep Brannon or any of his descendants from razing it to the ground.#when u know ur evil cuz you had to build in a backup plan for the day Brannons peeps eventually come to shut that shit down… my poor Aelin#Elide fought the limp that grew with each step farther into the city--farther away from Gavriel's magic… or Lorcan’s👀😭🖤🤨#okay Elide I see your mirror mirror Aos moves with the berry listen and compact trick she can do it with a broken heart#cycle. She hadn't been able to find the words anyway. Not with what it would crumple in her chest to even think them. WELL NOW IM CRUMPLED#As if she'd been weeping for weeks… yeah that fits the KoA vibes#But it wasn't the reflection she wanted to see. But rather the square behind her. — BRILLIANT QUEEN — lol thx Lorcan for having a mirror#if only anything could be a witch mirror then they could all cell chat and communicate cause the travel time in this one is rough#she was merely staring into a compact mirror no more than a self-conscious girl trying to fix her frazzled appearance — she is the best spy#A girl trying to muster some dignity. Let them see what they wanted to see-A girl far out of her element in this lovely well-dressed city#cornflower blue ALWAYS THESE SHADES#her golden-brown skin shone with an inner light. Her eyes were soft with kindness. And concern.#had always made them foolishly off guard and eager to get away. To tell her what she needed to know. — funny 2 watch Elide do this after HoF#The sort of voice Elide had always imagined great beauties possessing the sort of voice that made men fall all over themselves.#Cairn. One of the males swore; the other scanned Elide from head to toe. But the two females had gone still. — agreed he’s the worst#the portrait of hope—yeah child’s right cause no—Elide always naming people—If you escaped Cairn don't go looking for him again.—true#Cairn is blood-sworn to our queen. Still makes him a prick TRUTH — doesn’t need to be a far to catch the lie — WHERE IS SHE DAMNIT#She was about to do it again wheen… The dark-haired beauty from the tavern was standing behind her. — SHIT#Maeve was not in Doranelle. How long would that remain true? Had to make the next performance count. — how many had she done this already?🥹😭
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Introduction Post & Syndicate Rules
Hi, I'll be answering these from a computer somewhere in space-time, nice to meet you or have already met you or even a different instance of you! 🌌 Eternalism is quite a thing huh?💫
Send literally anything you want & it'll be posted even if we don't agree with it necessarily. SPOILERS ARE FINE, AND WILL TRY TO TAG PROPERLY, BUT TO BE SAFE MAYBE JUST BLOCK THE TAGS AROUND NEW CONTENT AND UPDATES. NSFW IS FINE TOO. Be silly, be cursed, be vulnerable, be concerned. Just know your ancestors, other envoys, and tenno will all look upon what you send.
Try to stay on topic though if you can in regard to this blog's topic. Dark Sector is also allowed in case you missed that part.
No zoophile (consult the Harkness test if you aren't sure), pedo (age gaps are fine but just make sure everyone involved is an adult), incest, or rape (CNC is different obviously). No racism and other distasteful things. Ghost/spirit stuff is fine though to clarify!
If we're uncomfortable publishing it, we simply won't publish it. Send as many confessions as you want, there's no limit! 💜
🛑 Don't harass anyone who sends in stuff off anon. Don't rope us into your online drama. 🛑
💌 Links sent will be pasted in the response field for mobile users to click after we confirm it's safe, so it might take a little bit longer to post. 📩
Not currently looking for new mods but do tell your friends about this blog! 🫡💖 Share those random Warframe & Soulframe thoughts you have with us that you're afraid to speak in the clan, region, or guild chat. 💜
⚠️ More mature themed asks will be answered when I am on a device with a newer version of tumblr (such as a computer or laptop) as my phone is old and I don’t have content labels on this thing. ⚠️
‼️ Anything in this intro may be subject to change over time. ‼️
If you have any additional questions or want clarification on something, please ask! Intro post was inspired by and copy pasted a bit from @/crappy-homestuck-confessions
#I will probably edit this post over time so stay tuned and check the pinned post from time to time#currently trying to invite my main blog to this one; but the tumblr servers seem to be kind of glitchy today so I'll try again later#until that gets fixed though I can only really access this blog from an actual computer as opposed to a phone just so you know#don't let that dissuade you from sending warframe and soulframe or even dark sector confessions though#literally send as many as you all want to there is no ask limit of any kind for asks or submissions#partially made this because a wf confession blog has been inactive for literal years apparently and I couldn't find one easily#also wanted to get in on the hype of 1999 and soulframe's NDA being lifted and give folks like myself an outlet for thoughts#so yes some of these might be from in house just so you're aware; also to populate the blog for the sake of community building#little edit I fixed the whole phone issue but can only answer more adult themed asks on computer as my phone is too old to label properly#warframe#soulframe#dark sector#digital extremes#now here's the tag find list for easy tag tapping blog navigation; ill add more of these as I see fit#not a confession#warframe confession#soulframe confession#dark sector confession#mod rose
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Infinite list of favourite lyrics: 229/?
Bobbie Gentry - Ode to Billie Joe (1967)
"And Papa said to Mama, as he passed around the black-eyed peas:
'Well, Billie Joe never had a lick of sense; pass the biscuits, please.
There's five more acres in the lower forty I got to plow'
And Mama said it was a shame about Billie Joe, anyhow.
Seems like nothin' ever comes to no good up on Choctaw Ridge
And now Billie Joe McAllister's jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge"
[...]
"Mama said to me, 'Child, what's happened to your appetite?
I've been cookin' all morning, and you haven't touched a single bite.
That nice young preacher, Brother Taylor, dropped by today
Said he'd be pleased to have dinner on Sunday - oh, by the way
He said he saw a girl that looked a lot like you up on Choctaw Ridge
And she and Billie Joe was throwin' something off the Tallahatchie Bridge'"
#favourite lyrics#bobbie gentry#ode to billie joe#1967#jimmie haskell#ode to billy joe#<- as this fairly regularly gets styled‚ tho Billie is correct and the spelling that appeared on the label originally#i overuse the term but i really think it's unavoidable here: this song is an absolute masterpiece of narrative songwriting#Gentry's ambition had only really been to work as a lyricist; she recorded this as part of her first demo‚ singing the songs herself#because it was cheaper than hiring a singer for the sessions. the demo grabbed the attention of Kelly Gordon at Capitol‚ who signed Gentry#and got to work producing her first album. the centre point of the album‚ and her first single‚ was to be Mississippi Delta; there wasn't#much interest in the Southern gothic tinged tale of secrets and 'unconscious cruelty' (as Gentry dubbed it) of Ode‚ and it was regarded#with little interest by Gordon (when arranger Haskell asked him what instruments he should add to Gentry's stripped down vocal and guitar l#the producer replied curtly that it didn't matter because nobody would ever hear it). Ode was assigned as b side to Mississippi Delta as#almost an afterthought‚ but this was the era in which US radio djs frequently chose which side of a single they wanted to play and the#unanimous decision was Ode; here was something special‚ a dark and tantalising mystery of a song obscured by the humdrum idle conversation#of an unthinking family. it ignited a kind of obsessive curiosity among listeners‚ desperate to find out what exactly the unnamed singer#and Billie Joe were throwing off the bridge‚ why did Billie Joe take his own life‚ why do the singer's gamily clearly not know about#their obvious relationship? Gentry‚ for her own part‚ resisted all attempts to glean further information about the actions of her song's#protagonist. she rightly tried to steer interested parties back towards what is arguably the real horror of the song‚ that unconscious#cruelty; a family that can eat and chatter and squabble even as they discuss the suicide of a boy they've known all their lives‚ even as#the clearly affected girlfriend of the boy (their own sister and daughter) sits in dumbstruck silence‚ unable to articulate her feelings#the original cut of the song ran more than 7 minutes and had to be mercilessly hacked down to fit a 45 single suitable length. no one had#expected much of anything from the song but it was to catapult Gentry to almost instant stardom; the forthcoming album was retitled after#the song that was now its focus; Ode went on to top the Billboard Hot 100‚ won a clutch of grammys and ended up selling more than 3 million#copies worldwide. Gentry had captured the imagination of a nation and beyond‚ but her success was tempered by legal challenges (from#producers demanding greater royalties) and a general dissatisfaction with her newfound stardom: it would last a little more than a decade#and include her own tv shows‚ more awards and smash hit singles; then just as suddenly as she'd shot to fame‚ Bobbie retreated from it#retiring from both the business and from public life. she hasn't made a public appearance since the early 80s‚ nor does she grant interview#but so what? if she's happy? i hope she's happy. she left us enough great music to enjoy. let her have her peace and quiet
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#that army fan club questionnaire floating around today#not going to reblog it because#i’m kind of over getting blocked for having spicy tags#but#man it blows my mind the toxic shit that makes it into official content sometimes#it’s one thing to leave in some of their off hand comments#from behind the scene footage but#literally the FIRST question#‘your pants don’t fit but you’re hungry- just drink water instead right?’#like who is that for#who is feeling better about anything reading that#do you ever think about all the things they’ve been told by their teams over the years#if this is what is being put out on public display#i know i know Korea is different idols have different standards whatever#eat a fucking banana then a glass of water is not a meal#you can look hot and be fit and still consume food#hybe is well aware the fandom is made up of people#who hang on their every word#a lot of whom at least FIND bts whilst Going Through A Thing#do better man#shout out to jin for being the only one who chose food#he never gives into the not eating bullshit and I love that about him#anyway that’s my two cents#just a girl having thoughts#here on my own blog in my own lane
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the worst part about being a pianist is that you can't just...simply take your instrument with you
#friends I am BEREFT#I was incredibly lucky to have my own piano for the last three years of college#and I mean like. someone gave it to me for free#and I also had access to a social network in the area + a pickup truck + my father who is an experienced piano mover and problem solver™#but anyway I could not bring it with me when I left#and even if I could just manifest it here there is nowhere to put it in this house#that's the thing like. you can find pianos pretty cheap on facebook marketplace these days#but moving one is a whole ordeal#and then you have to have somewhere to put a whole piece of furniture#our living room is tiny :(#thinking I could maybe fit a keyboard in my bedroom if I could find one#but it's not the same...#anyway my best hope atm is getting door access to the church I attend#but I have yet to converse with anyone in a position to help me with that#and it's only a short walk which is nice#but still not the same as home piano#ik ik this is a very ''first world problem''#but for most of my life I have been in the habit of playing almost every day#it's stress relieving! it's creative! it was...kind of loadbearing in some ways...#it's a very Jane Austen predicament. where's a secret fiancee to buy and deliver a surprise piano when you need one
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Sits in shambles I didn't read maybe Jorge's id correctly in the mysterious hermit logs the first god knows how many times I read them and only just now realized that it's the same id as the scientist that speaks in the agricultural notes log why must I be so bad at reading
#rat rambles#oni posting#on the bright side thats one mystery id kind of solved#by kind of I mean its most likely jorge but theres no way to comfirm it#this does make me feel like there might be some other b363 thing I missed but Im not sure if I doubt myself enough to go check rn#they are another character seen in story trait logs alongside an in game lifeform origin log just with critters this time#Ive made baseless speculation on who b363 could be based on what named characters we have without ids but its nowhere near confirmed#at least from what I remember but again Im starting to doubt myself a lil so I might double check at some point#the only idless characters we have fully marked off is nikola Im pretty sure#although based on the characters we do know anything abt itd most likely be either ada or liam but thats not saying much#ada is a fairly high probability tho since we basically 100% know that shes a part of the bioengineering department#liam possibly is too but thats more of a educated guess then smth particularly implied#Im glad I've finally realized who our lovely plant guy is tho#alas even if I find some hidden b363 content that still leaves I believe 3 ids unidentified#well we do know that at least one of them is steve but we don't know which one#and while we can take shots in the dark at who the scientist is theres also a second guard#and out of everyone we know bits and pieces abt theres no one who fits that bill or at least not anyone Im remembering#every other mentioned character is some flavor of scientist or is implied to be#not counting quinn but they are also off the table on account of not being a gravitas employee#so basically unless I missed smth the only previously established character that we know for sure is in that log is steve and the other two#could easily be any of the currently unused guys#and the other guard basically has to be unless theres scientists here that also double as guards
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There's this weird and very gory French + Canadian film called Martyrs (exercise caution when looking it up in terms of images if that stuff freaks you out) and the basic concept is like. Some cult trying to understand what happens after death by bringing people to the brink of it in the most traumatic and agonizing ways possible. And I just realized that that's really some William Afton shit, both for the original motive and for remnant extraction.
(Accidentally wrote an essay in the tags so, ah. Read those I guess)
#i don't really write william as nearly that intense actually#for one because he is not at his peak of darkness most of the time i write him#two because i don't find gore itself inherently interesting#aside from eye scream and medical horror specifically#and 3 because i generally want my characters to SURVIVE so i can play with psychology and healing bc that's way more up my alley#but anyway. the comparison can still be made#i also don't think william would go for some of the stuff in that movie entirely because of cleanup. he has to hide his activities#and he doesn't have a cult to fall back on#but it would be interesting to see if he tried to maximize remnant extraction with some kind of psychological torture#that fits some of the things in the lonely children au by dire honey and freddles. in terms of the endless nightmare schtick#and i could honestly see some level of help wanted and the in universe fnaf games twisting that way too#harvesting the agony of players#hmm. maybe that could be why moon seems fucked up even presumably before kids start going missing again in sb#but anyway#he can only do so much murder before his. ah. resources. would dwindle#maybe he needs to harvest remnant other ways as well#and the continued murder is tied more to his obsession with death and immortality#fnaf#william afton#theorizing about william's weirdness
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