#only minimal control over. and that makes ot all so complicated. but it matters so much.
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I guess what should be considered with Marie is whether your character starts a relationship with her because of their shared past drawing him back to her, or because he just feels bad for what part of him did to her. I don't know about Marie, but the idea of someone hooking up with me purely out of pity would be awful, worse than a rejection. No one is obligated to start a romance they don't want to soothe someone else's pain. Of course it's all up to you and how you're playing him, godspeed
TuT everyone seems to hear my quandary as âAm I responsible for this girlâs suffering and thus indebted to get with her to make her better.â
Thatâs really not it at all. Iâm not responsible. I didnât do that shit. And none of this has ever been based on pity. Thereâs certainly a level of justice to it and whatâs right vs wrong in motivation, but fairness and pity ainât the same at all.
Itâs not âDo I have a responsibility to get with Marie?â (Read: do I owe it to her to romance her to make up for what a part of me did?) â its âDo I have a responsibility to get with Marie?â (Read: is this my dead wife?)
Thereâs a lot to consider. But. Idk why everyone seems to hear my distress as âShould I pretend to be in love with this girl so I can right a cosmic wrong and heal her, because Iâm sort of a part of what did it to her and I feel bad?â and it distress me
Iâm not a bad person TuT I donât just think that way.
Itâs âIf this is a part of meâs dead wife, who he destroyed and abandoned, am I to me Izanagi? And am I Izanagi to her? Because if so, that means sheâs my wife. It means Iâm a part of the person who abandoned her, but more than that it means I have a chance to be a better me. It means I have a âfor better or worseâ and even if I donât remember the me who made that vow, we are the same person, and that matters to me. I take it serious. I wouldnât abandon my wife. If we are Izanagi and Izanami to each other, that is more important to me than my characterâs preferences or former plans. Thatâs my wife. I have a responsibility to her, and to myself. I have a chance to end the cycle of abuse. I have a chance to save someone. And even if I donât remember her, and donât remember making that promise, if we are to each other those two, it doesnât matter, and itâs my wife memory or no. And I would put everything else aside for that. That isnât pity. Itâs responsibility sure but not in a begrudging way. In a desperately important choice of love. I would chose the spouse a part of me vowed to love over everything, because theyâre me even if I canât remember, and even if I never do. I would love and become who I need to be, because if thatâs my wife, it matters, and it will always matter. The question is if I have that responsibility, if I have that bond. Because I donât know if I am Izanagi to her. And I know my thoughts and my answers, but you canât tell someone they love you. And I donât know if I am to her, and if she does, and I donât know how to know. So I donât know what to do. Itâs about what I want and who I am being tied to a determinate framework, and not having the other half of the equation, and if I have to guess, trying to figure out what the right thing is to do.
#and I feel like this will still somehow be misinterpreted as something itâs not#but idk how else to say it at this point#ask#anonymous#râs p4 run#why does everyone think this is about guilt and pity. itâs about right and wrong and loyalty and partnership and values and identity#âyou canât tell someone they love youâ but isnât that what youâre doing to yourself?â â NO. itâs not!!! I love her regardless. not#maybe in the specifically amorous way but deeply. and I will regardless. but I canât be her husband if she doesnât view me that way. and#thatâs ok! if she would be happier moving on or just doesnt and we go on as friends thatâs fine! I am happy to become a new me or bring an#old me back to life and reinhabit him. I donât like âwantâ to date her and donât know if thatâs ok. I want to know what she wants#because that impacts what I do. Iâm a third of a person in this game. and I canât make myself be the friend or the husband to her. I canât#choose if people see me as the whole or the fragment or which fragment. I can only live the best I can as whatever I am#but regardless I want to do right by those a part of me is bound to. just what that means changes and it changes based on a framework I hold#only minimal control over. and that makes ot all so complicated. but it matters so much.#I would be just as happy as Ryung-gu the gay single guy into Kanji as I would Ryung-gu Izanagi the part god trying to love his wife gently.#but I donât know what I am so I donât know what to do. which to be which is right. which I am to anyone else. and I canât control what I am#and am not. so Iâm under enormous stress
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