#one wrong move and those two are gonna cause some chaos

[bee-can-art]

Everything is all under control... I think

• Click for better quality (05/06/2024)

[mirrology]

Can I ask a boothill with an adopted child/teen reader that's hps (hyper sensitive) and also has parental trauma

(You don't have to do this if you feel uncomfortable 🐧)

ノstar .ᐟ ʚɞ

୨୧ No matter that love's gone, We just see it shining. We've traveled very far, I'll keep a leftover light burning. So you can keep looking up, Isn't that worth holding on? — star, mitski.

boothill & gender neutral reader. platonic | wc: 1.6k

tags/warnings: decided to go with hc's for this one since I didn't know how to write it in fic format T_T. teen reader, reader is a galaxy ranger and really well versed in technology. they can fight pretty well, reader also hates the ipc. boothill is a bad influence. mentioned child abuse, child neglect, reader has a "mom" and acts a little like blade when near her, erm character death (not reader or boothill)

notes: aaaa sorry that this is so late! Hopefully, this is what you meant by "hypersensitive." If not, then just let me know, and I'll change it, ALSO HAPPY PRIDE MONTH

— The two of you met when you were beating up some IPC goons on a planet that they had recently wanted to take over. You had been there gathering materials to set sail to your next destination, you were on the hunt for a certain IPC employee. One who you once knew.

— You couldn't just stand back and watch those IPC scum send that planet into spiraling chaos. So, of course, you beat them up without breaking a sweat. That's where Boothill had found you, he was impressed that someone so young had such skill in combat.

↳ You huffed as the remaining IPC personnel ran away with their tails between their legs. A slow sound of applause came from behind you, causing you to turn around, a deadpan evident on your face. You were met with a man with dual colored hair and what seemed to be a metal body, “I'm not gonna lie, you've got skills, kid.” He had said, a smirk on his face.

— Once the both of you got to talking, he found out you were also a galaxy ranger and that you also absolutely hated the IPC, you both really had many things in common. You had asked him for help in getting to your destination and he agreed pretty easily, claiming that he had “some time to spare”

— Although you had spent little time together, you felt comfortable around him, he never pushed your boundaries or forced you to do things you didn't want to. Boothill’s vocabulary surprised you, instead of cursing normally his words were censored. You would have offered to try to fix his synesthesia beacon, but just the thought of touching someone made your skin crawl. The ghostly touches of people who you once considered family etched onto your skin.

— Once it came to part ways, you didn't want to do so. You shyly admitted to Boothill that the thought of not seeing him scared you a tad bit. He looked surprised but then gave you a bright smile and told you that you could join him on his adventures, and so a strong bond between the both of you was born.

— When Boothill infiltrated the IPC headquarters you're the one who hacked into their system. With your experience, it was relatively easy, although Boothill would not let you go inside with him. He couldn't risk putting you in danger, even though he knows you can put up a fight.

— When the both of you escaped the headquarters after causing absolute chaos, Boothill brought his hand up to your head as he tried to ruffle your hair. He was surprised and slightly hurt when you tensed up and quickly moved out of the way.

— Boothill thought he had made you scared of him somehow, even though you had no reason to be afraid. You noticed his downcast expression and you quickly told him that he did nothing wrong, it was just…

↳ Your heart pounded in your chest, your hands were sweating. You reached up and gripped a strand of your hair in your hand as a sheepish expression painted your face. “I'm not the best with physical touch,” You blurted out, albeit bluntly. “Whenever someone touches me — even if it's just a brush of their fingers, it feels like needles are being stuck into my skin” You huffed, clenching your fist and your eyes downcast. Boothill's expression softened, his once frown lifting into an understanding smile. “Thanks for telling me, bud.” He nodded, his fingers twitching at his side, as if wanting to reach out to you. Yet he respected your space and refrained from doing so.

— Now that Boothill knew about your hypersensitivity he made no attempts to touch you, preferring to give you gifts instead. Whenever you do something that makes him proud as a father would a child; he takes you out to get your favorite food as a treat. Of course verbal encouragement is also a thing he does, giving you a “I'm proud of ya’ kid!” and a pointy grin.

— It's canon Boothill is pretty wealthy from all of those bounties that he hunts and he doesn't exactly know what to do with it. So he definitely spoils you at every chance he gets. Want a nice Keychain you saw in a shop? He's handing it to you right now. How about a nice piece of clothing or a cultural food from the planet that you're visiting? He's got the clothing in a bag and is urging you to try the food.

— Even though you both have your moments of happiness, the both of you still have purposes you stick to. You had gotten a lead on where that person was and you were going to do everything to catch up to them and make them get what they deserved.

↳ “You.” You hissed walking towards the woman in an IPC uniform, kicking another unconscious employee away. You gripped your weapon tightly in your hand, the woman widened her eyes in terror at your sudden appearance, she fell on her bottom, scooting away from you as you approached her. As she backed away she didn't go far, her back hitting a wall not too long after. Your unhurried footsteps resonated through her ears, making her breath pick up as she clutched the dirt underneath her in an attempt to ground herself.

You stopped in front of her, eyes full of unbridled anger. “(N-name)?!” She squeaked, putting a hand out infront of her to reach out to you. “What are.. how are you-” She was cut off as the back of your weapon slapped her intruding hand away. “You don't get to say my name.” You glared at her, your tone icy cold and unforgiving. She tried to speak once more but was once again cut off, “You left me to die! If it wasn't for my quick thinking, I would have been dead by now!” You said in a firm tone and pointed your weapon straight at her, leaving her no room to move or else you would attack.

The woman tensed up and a bead of sweat ran down the side of her cheek, “Honey… I had no choice! You would only weigh me down, you have to understand!” She had the gall to call you “honey” this woman no longer had the honor of doing so. The words stung, even though you no longer felt any affection for her… they brought back memories that you would rather forget. You clenched your teeth and watched as she rambled on and on about how “it was for your own good” and that “you should try to understand her situation” before she would get another word out, you sound your weapon, officially slicing her throat.

The blood splattered onto your stoic face, you watch as she choked on her own blood, eyes wide and filled with panic as if her life was flashing before her eyes… you hope it hurts.

A set of footsteps came from behind you, judging by the jingling of metal and their heavy footsteps you could tell who it was. You reluctantly turned around to meet Boothill's concerned gaze, “Er.. ya’ okay kiddo?” He scratched the side of his face as he pointed out the tears that prickled at the corner of your eyes. You stared at the ground and slowly nodded “I don't entirely hate her, but she didn't deserve to know that… even in her last moment” You muttered as more salty tears filled your vision.

— You and Boothill headed back to your ship, all while you were still occasionally shedding tears. Boothill, seeing the state you were in, offered you a warm, fluffy blanket and a warm drink; hot chocolate.

↳ You sniffled and held the blanket that was over your shoulders to your chest. You were sat on a cushion on the floor of yours and Boothill’s ship, knees tucked towards your chest in an attempt to stop yourself from crying. “Heya kiddo, I got ya’ some hot chocolate…” Boohill plopped down next to you on a matching cushion and held out the mug that was in his robotic hand. His hand was placed below the mug so when you reached to get it, you both wouldn't accidentally brush fingers.

The both of you sat in a pregnant silence and you occasionally sipping on the warm drink provided to you. Boothill stared at you from the corner of his eye, your gaze was focused on the window, giving you the view of the vast space. “She was my mother, you know” You suddenly broke the silence with your blunt words, Boothill’s eyes widened a significant amount, yet you continued.

“Even though she claimed to love me, her actions hurt and her words even more.” You put your mug down beside you and snuggled further into the blanket. The cyborg's face softened into something different, almost sad, distraught. His teeth clenched in anger at the thought of you being hurt by that woman, something ugly bloomed in his mechanical chest.

“But now she's gone,” Boothill started, making you turn your head to look at him with a surprised expression. “She can't hurt you anymore nor anyone, not when I'm around” He grinned, his shark-like teeth out on display. Something in your chest felt warm, it was different but not unpleasant. You offered Boothill a small smile then took a deep breath and raised your pinky up, “Pinky promise?” your voice a bit shaky, but your eyes were filled with determination.

Boothill slowly brought his pinky up, gently intertwining it with yours. They were barely touching but it was progress, “Promise.” The cyborg nodded firmly.

Tears pricked at you eyes, not in sadness nor anger, but relief.

“Thank you.”

[nothingxs]

FFXIV Write // Steer

The air was choked with heat and smoke, the din of clashing steel echoing through the paths and corridors as soldiers pushed on further and further. The initial frontal assault on Castrum Meridianum was always just one part of a two-pronged attack, and now that the so-called Warrior of Light had upheld their end of the deal and the magitek barrier had been disabled, what was once a feint now became a real threat.

And so, it was up to them to make do on the threat. It was up to us.

"I wonder," Ilysa shouted over to the rest of us, "how much longer do you think before the Empire surrenders this position?" She held her planisphere (so much as one ever does) to her right, running alongside us and looking down to find a line of soldiers who had pressed the rest of the Flames.

"Ain't bloody likely!" Renolt shouted right back, keeping his pair of blades close. "They know how important th' position is, they won't surrender unless they're made to!"

Dameron and Nenera had nothing to add to that, following up behind me. I was about to check with them before Lanna, who had leaned ahead, had made to duck behind cover and motioned to the rest of us to do the same.

"It's a big unit," they called out to us. "From here, four magitek armors. Couple of dozen soldiers. They want to clear us out." They turned to look at me. "It's on you, Red. Our men could overrun theirs, but not with those armors with them. What do you say we give them hell?"

I remember feeling myself grin as I looked to the others.

"Right. Ilysa, give Ren and Lanna a little boost. Dameron, you rain some hell to give Ren a shot at one of 'em. Lanna, see if you can't briefly commandeer one of their machines to cause problems. Nene, once Lanna's clear, burn 'em." I drew my sword and readied my shield, confirming my instructions with everyone with a nod.

"Right, Red," Ren fired back as he started to pull some throwing daggers from his belt. "So what are you gonna do?"

"I'll be right there with you."

What followed always was a bit of a blur.

It's hard to really key in on things; we've always just trusted each other to have each other's backs. I saw Ilysa draw cards and pass blessing both to Renolt and Lanna. As soon as Dameron's massive fireball caused the Imperial ranks to shake for just a small moment, one of Ren's daggers had found purchase right through the neck of one of the pilots.

Nenera and I moved to draw attention, getting quickly behind cover and providing enough of a distraction for Lanna to swing around, quickly leaping up to the disabled pilot's machine, reaching in, grabbing the controls and letting loose on the Garleans themselves. Dashing out from cover and cutting through the line of soldiers with other Flames at my back, Nenera's Ruby followed through and unleashing hell upon the remaining armors as Lanna fell back.

And amidst the chaos, pressure from all of us on the now-scattering force was all that was needed. A few well-placed cuts to fuel lines and joints from my sword and the encouragement of levin, wind and ice joining soon after the explosions were the only things we needed to disable the machines. And so, we charged ahead.

Or in any other case, we would've charged ahead.

A small pain that I'd dismissed in the back of my skull, now radiated throughout my head. The deeper we got into the Castrum, the deeper the feeling had got. I had dismissed it as a lack of rest, but this wasn't just a headache. It felt like I was being pulled.

Pulled away.

As we advanced, I stopped, and clutched my head, and looked ahead in the distance. My breath caught and I was filled with what I could only call dread. Ilysa and Nenera, who had been tending to the lightly wounded in the back, caught on, and Nenera was with me first.

"Cel, love, what's the matter? Why've you stopped? Are you hurt?"

"…Something's wrong, Nene." My eyes were fixed forward.

"Well, it's war; I'd hope—"

"No. Nene, listen to me," and I crouched to meet her eye level, hands on her shoulders, though I could still not bear to look anywhere but into the depths of the Castrum. "Something is wrong. Something feels wrong. We need—we have to retreat."

"Retreat? Love, are you mad? Th—"

I had finally turned to look at her.

She never told me what it was in my expression that convinced her. I just remember her looking at me with some level of horror, swallowing, and nodding.

I sounded the call to retreat. Our men seemed confused, at first, but the urgency of the call convinced them of its seriousness.

We'd started to fall back. I like to think it was the urgency with which I was waving men back that convinced them it was serious. Our men had stopped to help the wounded to get back, as well. Among the wounded had been a few Garleans as well, and several Imperial soldiers had advanced… confused as to the sudden ceding of ground. Still, they didn't chase, choosing to gather their wounded.

The pain in my head suddenly felt like it might split it in two.

I yelled to my men to hurry.

One of the Imperial officers met my eyes in the confusion.

I yelled at him to run.

We were told there was a flash of blue and white, right after. None of us remembered.

All we remembered was waking up outside of the Castrum, our wounds being tended to, having been too close to the blast.

...did those Garleans make it out...?

[imthepunchlord]

I hope it’s okay for me to send this, but going off of what you’ve researched and how you’ve set everything up so far, I do believe that the only change you need to make is switching Bee and Fox between Bagua and Wu Xing.

Like you said, power-wise both the Fox and the Bee have about an even number of pros and cons for going into either, so it really does boil down to Trixx just feeling more important than Pollen at this point in terms of their personalities themselves and how much attention those personalities are given in-show. Along with the pros you’ve given for having the Fox be the Earth Wu Xing, the Bee going into Bagua is good because it still fits for the Earth slot there that’s not too weak or too strong of a placement with both the powers and the kwami tied to them in consideration. Bonus, it evens out the number of bugs to mammals in the Wu Xing (Peacock was gonna be the odd one out anyway since there’s five slots) and adds another to Bagua so Mantis isn’t left hanging.

Concerning Turtle and Butterfly switching place too, I don’t think that’s necessary for many of the reasons why a Bee-Fox swap is. With Wayzz and the Turtle in general, they just don’t FEEL nearly as important as the Butterfly and Nooroo due to how they were handled in-show, especially with the main villain holding one and the background mentor holding another. Plus, the switch would throw off not only the Butterfly being powerful enough where both Ladybug and Cat are needed, but why Gabriel would even bother with it over Peacock regardless of possible sickness seeing as it’s not one of the ones he needs to make a Wish or even in the top tier of power.

I also don’t think you need to mess with the number or meaning of the Wu Xing, Bagua, or Zodiac slots. Not only does that make life more complicated for you, but switching that sorta stuff up for these real-life ancient systems for what are supposed to be in-universe even more ancient godly beings feels kinda… wrong?? Like, it’s why the canon handling of the zodiac, Wu Xing, and yin yang and how they relate to each Miraculous bothers me so much; it just feels like NOT the thing anymore y’know?

In any case, I hope my ramblings are of any use to you, and please feel free to reply with your honest thoughts either way.

(P.S. If it helps concerning Duusu, after her Miraculous is fixed, it's revealed that her erratic behavior really was partly a result of the damage to the Peacock Miraculous, which she comments as being like there was "chaos in [her] head" and she was in a nightmare. Now that her mind is completely cleared, she can still be quite emotional and a bit scatterbrained, but to a lesser extent than when her Miraculous was broken.)

Yeah it's ok, I don't mind feedback and having thoughts shared with this, cause it will be something I'll be going back and forth on. So having outside feedback helps.

And you do bring up good points. This is to work off what's seen in the show while also making changes to secure it works out better (like Butterfly, Ladybug, and Cat adjusted to be on that same level of power, cause based on what Butterfly can do, Peafowl too, it's hard to believe LB and Cat are the "two most powerful"). And between the two, Fox does have more significance. Between Trixx having a defined personality and to Fox actually tied to more plot relevant characters. Bee's importance really comes down to who has Bee, which ultimately in the grand scheme of things, Chloe and Zoe aren't so important. The former definitely got far more attention than she really needed given she wasn't going to be redeemed or be a big bad.

The nice thing too about having Bee with Bagua does allow flexibility in where Bee can go, so if I feel I need to move some around placement wise, I will have that option.

Like Bee can match with any of these. Fox though is more limited in placements.

And good point with the debate for Turtle and Butterfly; by my research, Turtle should be a very significant Miraculous, it's a sacred animal in China, one of the few equals to the Dragon. But show wise it is more of an after thought. So Bagua is a good middle of the road for it.

And yeah, messing with official numbers would be best to avoid. The only one I think could be done in adjusting the numbers is the Bagua set, while it is officially Eight Areas, there is the unofficial 9th area, the yellow center representing balance and vitality, yin-yang. Earlier ideas actually had Dragon be the unofficial 9th member of Bagua, which works really well as dragons are tied to the number 9, and the initial idea was that Dragon was the most powerful, the one that represents yin-yang as a unit, and is the one all 3 tiers circled around. And the trade off to being the most powerful was that this was the only Miraculous you can't make a Wish with. And while Dragon was the unofficial 9th member, hidden under the yin-yang symbol in the Miracle Box, Turtle would've taken Dragon's slot in the Zodiac, allowing a loose reference to the Four Symbols within the Zodiac, and work off Turtle and Rabbit being an immediate pair. Or, allowed there to be 2 serpent based Miraculous: Cobra and Snake.

Ultimately decided to not change up the Zodiac and let it be, and just stick to there being 25 Miraculous instead of 26. It would've been a number difference but it also is still a good size number of Miraculous to exist and work with.

Anyway! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it was helpful and brought up some good points I didn't think about. And thanks for letting me know about Duusu post her Miraculous fixed. That's good to know.

[berrymoos]

Yess PLEASE do agrere hc’s for Marc 🥹 - 🌱

holy hell i almost lost this post AAAAAA 🫠 3 hip-hips for tumblr imploding on itself!!! (i am This Close to losing it)

ミ﹒﹒🧊🌨️🤍💤🍼

🌙 — regressor marc headcanons!

need i go into detail about why he regresses? i feel like you can click on literally any moon knight episode & use whatever he goes through AT ANY POINT during those ~45 minutes as a reason /hj

his regression is mostly fueled by trauma. even when he's regressed just to relax after a taxing day, it's very easy for it to turn negative in the blink of an eye if he's left alone with his thoughts for too long :(

age range is in between 1 - 4 years old, usually sticking right in the middle at 2, BUT if somebody asks, he's gonna say he's 4, no matter what. even if he's Babey, he will find a way to communicate that he's 4, he is! ... the mooncule can see right through him & his lies

speaking of — jake, steven, & layla (aka, three-fourths of "the mooncule") are his cgs, though i guess you can say the former two are his "main" considering they're always with him..? REGARDLESS, the 3 of them share the title & you BEST believe they dote on him like crazy!! he'll make a teensy noise & layla's CRASHING through the door like “what's wrong, sweetheart?!” while steven & jake r in his ears like “what do you need, love?” / “i'll beat ‘em up, kid, don't even worry about it!” ... the noise in question was unintentional

layla is “laywa”. jake is “jay” or “jay-jay”. steven is “steeben”, “stebie”, or “bubby” / “buba”. he's got a lot more for steven but it's just various shortenings of his name 💀

usually, when he actually is 3 / 4, it's either because he's been feeling particularly playful & carefree, OR his environment makes him feel too uncomfortable to allow himself to properly drop. in the case of the former, he moves around so much more; running away from layla in a game of tag, seeking for her during hide-n-seek, causing chaos with a regressed steven & jake ... he's a lot more talkative too! not as much as steven (regressed or not), but tons more than baby marc

in the case of his environment, marc retreats to the backseat until things are all okay again. usually he'll regress fully afterward if he's comfortable enough, but there r some times when he just stays at that 3 - 4 age range!

BABY moo, on the other hand? ohhh he's such a little sleepy koala (*´˘`*)♡ all he wants to do is snuggle with his stuffies & fall asleep to his show playing in the background. he's not a loud regressor to begin with, but in this smallspace he's reduced to small hums, whines, coos, n just other quieter noises in general. the sleepy-cuddles come from the main reason why he most likely dropped that far in the first place: bad triggers :(( being triggered by something is already draining to begin with, so add regression to the mix & woop, an upset baby on board ... but bad feelings such as that don't last forever <3

naptime, his beloved <3 baby moo or toddler marc, doesn't matter; if jake suggests naptime in any way he can pick up on, there's no tantrum, no stubborn “i don’ wanna...”, no hiding to avoid it, none of it. he might even suggest it himself if he gets sleepy in the middle of the day. only requirement is a bedtime story

oh yeah! the mooncule calls him moomoo (or moo, for short)! for a while, layla thought it was because marc took his stuffed cow everywhere he went after he got her, but low and behold, jake came up with it on the fly one day & steven picked it up shortly after; he's taken to calling marc by that nickname in all scenarios except when there's important information he needs to tell him now ... or when he's big, but yknow

(sometimes he slips up & calls him moo when he isnt small - results r a blushy boy fighting off a sudden impending fuzziness 🫣)

because of that, baby moo genuinely thinks that's his name 😭 layla put this to the test one day when she asked him to spell his name & he put moo. as adorable as that may be, it's also really funny

he has 3 stuffies to his name: mocha, the brown-and-white longhorn cow, miffy, the white bunny, & an eeyore plush. mocha was the product of a build-a-bear visit & miffy is a childhood gift from a cousin. eeyore came in a pack of other winnie the pooh stuffies steven had purchased — he has winnie, layla has piglet, & jake has tigger. miffy in particular gets carried around everywhere when he's regressed, so it's a key way to tell if he's dropped / starting to drop

prefers chewing on specifically steven's sweaters than using a paci?? like veeeery specifically the ones he own. they have to be his or else it doesn't feel the same – partially because steven has a knack for finding the most interesting designs & the softest ones, & partially bc steven just oozes comfort to begin with. if the body has one on, chances are marc has just abandoned his paci to chew on the sleeve. if it's not on while he's in sweater-nom mode ,,, well, he's raiding the closet to find one to nibble on

steven has caught him in the act on multiple occasions — probably more times than he can count on his fingers HFUISDHSIF ,,, he doesn't mind that much, but would prefer him just .. wearing or simply cuddling it instead of chewing on it like a teether (・_・ヾ quite unsanitary

sweaters are not the only thing unsafe from marc's nibbly tendencies!! other things include, but are not limited to (from most normal to weirdest): his thumbs, the sleeve of his own shirts, miffy's right ear, mocha's left horn, steven's knitted scarves, jake's cab hat, jake's crayons, steven's sock that matched a specific outfit, & layla's hair. the hair happened ONCE when he was Very Babey & both of them hated it

if anybody asks if he wants to watch "His Show", they mean Sailor Moon. doesn't matter what side of the spectrum his age range is at that moment; that's his show, don't take it away from him, you will feel his wrath (whining until it's turned back on)

he pretends to dislike being carried around, but when layla demonstrated how easy it was for her to prop him on her hip & go without breaking a sweat, it was impossible for her to put him down again. he doesn't ask for uppies much but layla can tell (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

marc actually pretends to dislike a lot of little things out of shame about his regression, tbh :( lots of reassurance & patience is needed for him bc he's v sensitive about this part of him as a whole (he's v sensitive when he's small in general; grab some tissues bc man, little buddy is kinda perpetually glossy-eyed /hj)

that being said, he's still a lot more honest about his feelings than big him is. while marc hides what's wrong most of the time to deal with it on his own, moo is nudging jake to co-consciousness bc he spilled juice on his shirt & he's rlly sad about it :(

constantly apologizes for the littlest things, bc he automatically thinks he's done something wrong & he's the one causing great misfortune ... when all he did was drop a plate ( ;´ - `;) he'll apologize for things that have nothing to do with him at all – exhibit a: the time steven stubbed his toe on the corner of his desk & moo automatically said “ ’m sorry!” from headspace, even tho he hadn't taken control of any body part in any way

mumbles so so much, ohhh my goodness *´ㅅ`)ﾞ♥︎ oftentimes even the mumbles r muffled behind his sleeves bc his hands r hovering over his mouth. jake calls him mumblebee 🫶

his favorite game is pattycake (that handclapping game), especially when he's on his younger end. steven n layla love incorporating little tummy tickles at the “put it in the pan!” part (steven wiggles his fingers in the mirror hehe) – they do it every time, & it gets marc giggling like crazy without fail

marc's body doesn't always listen to him as a result of stress & PTSD in a general sense, so it definitely doesn't when he's in his smallspace — to combat that, he wears diapers for extra protection. they give him another source of warmth & security too, but he's so shy abt wearing them for the longest time. jake & steven cheered the day marc decided, on his own, that he was gonna need a dip ,,, 🥹🫶

can't pronounce his r's, l's, or v's right, but he catches himself in the midst of saying them wrong & corrects himself. for example: “hi, ’teeb– ’teevie” or “can't do it wi– right! >:[”. layla is an interesting example bc she has 2 l's in her name, but he only consciously corrects the first. the only time he doesn't correct himself at all is when he's super-duper little ... & that's primarily because he doesn't use words (-ω-；)

coffee is gross now, get it out of his face, ew, yucky, no! very stark contrast to big marc, who's canned two cups of black coffee with a straight face on multiple occasions. but no matter how much sugar & creamer & even coffee flavoring he puts in it, moo just Can Not get it down w/o wrinkling his nose n goin “bleugh”

now ... no one would say they think moo has a massive sweet tooth, but it deff grows in size significantly as if trying to compensate for the lack of coffee (/j). layla's walked in on him w his hand halfway in the cookie jar & he tried to pretend it was steven's doing by putting on a british accent (that wasnt rlly all that bad but definitely Not Steven). she "believed" him, but later in the day when steven is fronting they'll exchange a silent yet knowing glance

self-indulgent pkmn au hc: marc's lunatone doesn't need any kind of outward tell to know when marc is regressing – yknow how psychic-types are! it proves to be a rlly good companion when marc is unable to tell the others - mainly layla, given jake & steven r his headmates - he's feeling small for any reason (sick, in public, etc...). it also proves to be a rlly bad companion when marc is trying to ward off his headspace / keep it a secret, but lunatone is hovering over him w a sippy & a stuffie floating beside it hsisidiekd

[faislittlewhiteraven]

Want a P:LA fanfic idea to play with maybe? *Puts up one for grabs*

I've loved Pokemon pretty much its entire history (Blue to Violet whoo!) and despite the issues I might have with the more recent games death glares BDSP in particular and their 'one game every year' crunch hell schedule, Legends Arceus got me all sorts of fired up with tons of fanfic ideas I couldn't wait to write down!

...Sadly my 'writing a coherent narrative' speed is something under 3000 words per fic a year so I figured I might as well share some of these ideas in the hopes that even if it takes me seven years to finish a chapter in my own time, someone else might be able to care for these little plot bunnies in the meantime.

So Fic Idea #1: Hisui gets Yeeted into the future.

Premise is simple: Canon divergence results in Akari/Rei being unable to stop Primal Dialga and Palkia from breaking reality and Arceus ends up activating Their last resort plan to protect reality which in the process of stopping a space time collapse ends up moving the entire region of Hisui to Unova's oceans in the modern age.

The Devilish Details I chose to focus on:

Most of my focus for this premise was on five key ideas.

1) Why did Volo think sending Palkia and Dialga into a frenzy would get him the power of the god llama? 2) If Arceus IS benevolent why does it not intervene personally? 3) What would a 'bad end' resulting from Dialga and Palkia's fighting look like? You know, aside from everyone being dead? 4) How do I avoid the near omnipresent 'Ingo and/or player character is torn between two worlds' angst in a story without trivializing their connections with either? 5) (Most important clearly) How do I get Adaman and Irida into those cute modern outfits I keep seeing them wear in fanart while still having them being them?!

For my own version of the fic all these are pretty simple. 1) Volo and Giratina think if they can get Arceus to physically manifest then Giratina can steal enough of Arceus's power that they can recreate reality together (Volo is the one who mainly wants that btw. Giratina just wants freedom and to help their new friend achieve his dreams). 2) Volo and Giratina are horribly wrong about what will happen if they try this and Arceus, compassionate eldritch entity that It is, would rather those two do not get 'Necrozma'd' and doom an entire reality's worth of life in the process, so It choses proxies in the form of those already pulled out of their natural space and time most by Giratina's actions to act in its stead. (Note: There are actually many realities where the PLA plotline is being carried out 'successfully' with this same Arceus watching over them but well, this story is specifically follows the world where shit went wrong and Arceus has to intervene so welp. Sorry this specific Volo and Giratina). 3) Most variable but in my imagination: Probably starts with smaller space time rips, then everything getting progressively darker and heavier, Pokemon getting more and more panicked, more panicking/aggressive Pokemon and people getting yoinked into the collapsing Hisui space/time (fallers can fall from anywhere and land on places on the way here but this would be where the 'down' destination is), absolute chaos as people and pokemon fight for their lives even as bits of environment are just glitching/breaking down into bits, then the GRAVITY hits and every creature is slammed to the ground as around them trees and buildings start straining and snapping from the weight, all light just dies maybe still an eerie red 'outline' to barely see anything?, people and pokemon blacking out probably fully convinced they're all going to be crushed to death, and then-! 4 and 5) Pretty much all the standard PLA fanfic conflicts have been thrown out the window and replaced with new ones: Hisui kinda just went through the apocalypse, some parts of Unova may have gotten hit by a title wave caused from the sudden dumping of an entire landmass right next to itself, and Ingo and Akari/Rei are gonna have give crash courses to everyone real quick and work their butts off being diplomats least Hisui gets overrun by criminal groups, poachers and companies who might want to take advantage of an entire region full of untapped natural resources, unknown pokemon, etc but hey! They can be with everyone they care about at once without having to get into shenanigans and everyone gets the delightful experience of seeing famous historical figures looking hot in modern cloths, learning the joys and horrors of modern media and going through the sheer WTF of seeing their own names and legacies up in a museum. Including the stuff they didn't get to 'live' due to, you know, being in an alternate world's future as a result of failing to avert the apocalypse without god's help and now in a position to try and avert the bad stuff like their noble Pokemon going extinct or so and so dying of something that in the modern era is easy to cure, etc. So that's the main gist. As for how I'm thinking of writing this premise (feel free to use these notes as well if you want btw): The End of the Beginning:

The canon divergence begins with Kamado overhearing Akari having a panic attack (around the Cobalt Coastlands point of the game) over potentially getting too hurt to 'work hard enough to avoid being banished' and him choosing to clarify a few days later that if she say, lost her legs to an alpha pokemon, Jubilife would still greatly value her skill with Pokemon much like they value Arezu for her haircutting skill, and that it is those who would lie or trick their way into the village without the will to aid others that get banished, not those who've shown their loyalty. (Aka Kamado's still paranoid and willing to resort to cruelty as in canon but not the 'for the evils' version I am getting slightly sick of some fics need him to be that way for their premise to work or to allude to real world colonisation stuffs etc and I get that but plz. More 'there's blood on your lies' and 'The Importances of History (class)' Kamado I beg of thee.) - Due to this 'kindness' she tries to interact with him more and ends up showing him the Arc Phone, talking about it's mission for her, how Ingo might've been from the same time period, etc, which leads to Kamado's paranoia shifting away from her and Ingo, and towards the Arc Phone and whatever it's attached to that dropped them in Hisui. -- As a result when the sky goes red Kamado doesn't try to pull the demonstration/questioning stuff he does pre-exiling in canon; instead he secretly has Akari and Ingo nabbed and locked up by Beni (he views them as patsies for 'the enemy' and decides that he can't let them roam free until this mess is resolved as they might unintentionally make things worse), claims to Adaman and Irida he'd already sent Akari off to investigate when they hold a meeting over what to do, and then as per canon charges up Mt Coronet with the Security Corps... Taking the Arc Phone with him.

Adaman and Irida of course are sus over not seeing Akari, and grow more so as they fail to find any of the lake guardians despite Volo and Cogita's help, and when they realize Ingo is also missing, but well. It's the end of the world and they don't have a clue what to actually do so they return to their settlements after promising to look out for each other's Wardens and that they'll come to each other's aid if the other calls them via Celestica Flute. (Insert 'Celestica Flutes can totally do that' headcanon reasoning so I can have weird small touching moment of 'They're alive!' during the 'climbing out of the rubble' parts)

Cylene is informed of Akari and Ingo being locked up by Kamado shortly before he heads off for Mt Coronet, and decides once he leaves to let them out of their cell, explaining both the Commander's reasoning (which Kamado might've already told them? IDK) and how without the Security Corps about Jubilife Village is extremely vulnerable should an attack come and she would request that Ingo and Akari please stay to help protect everyone. Since Akari and Ingo know bugger all about the 'mysterious pokemon sighted up on the mountain' or how to resolve the situation due to having been locked up for days and with Cogita currently too occupied trying to buy a nice scarf for herself and Enamorus to die in to inform them otherwise, they remain in Jubilife to protect it.

The various Wardens set about getting their nobles ready to protect the settlements they're closest to, ignoring the usual clan lines, with Mai, Arezu, Lian and Calaba in the Diamond Settlement (Melli gets a minor Big Damn Heroes moment arriving with Lord Electrode, escorting the Coronet Highland's Galaxy and Ginko Guild members in, right before everything starts going to hell), Gaeric and Sabi at the Pearl Settlement, and Palina and Iscan staying in the coastlands to try to help the Ginko Guild and Galaxy Team members there get to higher, safer ground.

End of the world stuff begins: Kamado's attack the dragons and promptly get stomped HARD (cue me rolling death saves for all the Security Corps members I have the names for). Enraged wild pokemon start getting beamed in from everywhere and each settlement finds themselves fighting for their lives: Pearl Settlement is doing reasonably ok due to being surrounded by ice and Lord Avalugg while Lord Bravary and Sabi's mons blast the few mons that get in away/unconscious, but both the Diamond Settlement and Jubilife Village are getting savaged, though not as much as they would've been if there hadn't been so many Wardens and nobles in the Diamond Settlement, and if Jubilife didn't have all of Akari and Ingo's many many pokemon (as well as Cogita's Enamorus and Vessa) there to fight for them. THEN the reality breaking stuff kicks in and the fighting gets exchanged for sheer environmental terror as GRAVITY kicks in: Beni is crushed in that cave Kamado ordered him to wait in (not sure about his mons since all other than his Sneasler can learn teleport and/or are ghosts, though I'd assume the Sneasler remains trapped in his pokeball), landslides are triggered up and down Mt Coronet, the ice caverns in the Bone Chill wastes collapse, buildings everywhere start creaking and breaking, any mon (or person) above water that can't breath underwater ends up drowning, pretty much everyone pokemon or human is slammed to the ground to struggle helplessly as the world grows more and more dark all as 'glitch like' implosions twist and tear apart sections of space time around them, and then as the gravity is getting to the point everyone is blacking out due to the sheer difficulty of breathing-

A light shines from the top of Mt Coronet; up on the mountain top itself most are either KOed, dead, dying or temp blinded by the sheer intensity of the light/dark up there but someone (leaning Kamado but Zisu getting some plot relevance appeals to me) sees someone somehow unaffected by the crushing gravity lunging towards the light, before passing out.

Arrival in the Modern day

First chapter of this would probably be done in a sort of media reel format showing implied captions and quotes from all sorts of media in the modern Pokemon world reacting to a new region sized landmass appearing out of nowhere: Lists of dead and missing people and pokemon with discussion on how many are due to the tsunami caused by the suddenly displaced tons of sea water, being washed out to sea (which being the pokemon world actually might be more survivable), or being telefraged into the new landmass itself. TV talk shows discussing where tf this landmass came from, how it arrived etc. Newspaper snippets, ongoing disaster reports, and all that jazz.

Will give the people of Hisui some breathing/recovery time via introducing my 'Ghost Storm' headcanon* as a thing in setting to keep anyone no from Hisui out of the place for roughly a week or so; can probably introduce the concept via a 'talk show' with guest stars Sabrina, Caitlin and Morty both to describe it in more 'metaphysical' detail and to allude to this particular one's unusual and deadly nature via Morty's ghost type psychic powers failing to get a read on the thing. *Said headcanon is basically: If enough death and powerful emotions occur in a short enough frame of time in a specific location, the local ghost population can explode and go completely feral, causing all sorts of horrifying effects depending on what sort of ghosts were formed (the storms depend on the strong emotions being felt and the local ghost population so currently Hisui is mostly being surrounded by a cyclone's worth of furious and in full 'defensively murderous' H!Zoroark...). Ghost swarms naturally fade over time anyway but in the modern age using emotion eating mons like Shuppet and tossing in lots of 'empty' Key Stones can usually be used to speed this process up though the Shuppet method has definitely been deemed NOT safe to attempt this time the Hisuian Ghost Storm has its own death toll at this point and is becoming somewhat infamous

After a bit of 'world reaction and reasoning' is established, will probably cut to Elesa and Emmet as ground view characters, talking about how nuts this is, how gyms everywhere are closed since there's tons of pressure for those in the League to be ready to fight if whatever is on the 'Mystery Island' turns out to be hostile, (though the ton of satelite pictures of the place at this point show that everything past the ghost storm looks like it's barely standing; holy shit that mountain sized Avalugg though). Talk ends, we jump to Emmet heading back home, doing 'slice of life as the world panics around you' stuff and then he texts his brother's Xtransver (grieving/coping habit) and stops wide eyed and frozen when he sees 'Message Sent' instead of the usual 'error, please try again' pop up on his screen.

Cut back to Hisui itself:

Those at the Pearl Settlement are better off than everywhere else but the Icelands are a mess: Sabi scouting with Lord Brivary spots tons of dead mons in the river, the cliff reaching up to Snowpoint temple has collapsed (the temple itself is somehow fine though?), and the ice fields -including newest the Galaxy Outpost- are completely buried by the avalanches Lord Avalugg defended them from. After making sure everyone is either well or attended to, Irida orders those of her clan not already busy to help her start digging pokemon out of the snow. There's some pushback at first but Irida refuses to leave so many pokemon to suffocate without at least trying to help and points out that any dead pokemon they dig up will provide invaluable materials and food to replace everthing that got destroyed during 'Sinnoh's Wrath'.

The Diamond Settlement is much rougher: Pretty much everyone is at least partially injured if not more so, and while the many, MANY 'dropped out of nowhere' attacking mon are currently still KOed while most of the humans are waking up, Adaman recognises that it won't be long before the fighting springs back unless he ends things now. However the thought of killing so many helpless Pokemon sickens him and doubtless there'd still be tons of frightened hostile mon elsewhere in the surrounding marshes, so pushing his discomfort over the concept behind, he asks the Galaxy and Ginko Guild types in the settlement for all the pokeballs they have before ordering his clan to start catching as many of the KOed foreign pokemon they can before they wake up. All the Wardens are taken aback but most reluctantly concede that such a drastic step might be needed; Melli being Melli doesn't and HMPHs his way back up to Mt Coronet to see how the pokemon up the mountain possibly those Galaxy idiots too are doing with Lord Electrode stablizing the terrain behind them (H!Electrode are based of japanese seedbombs so just kinda imagine seeds falling out as Lord Electrode rolls).

Jubilife is a mess. Ingo wakes to find Akari outright missing (which is odd because she was right next to him when the gravity hit), her mon somewhat directionless, and tons of Jubilife people who have no idea what to do. Deep worries and concerns aside, Ingo ends up doing mostly the same as Adaman minus the cultural angst though Jubilife as a whole doesn't really know him too well so there's a lot more push back until Cylene manages to pull herself out of the rubble of a house, tell everyone arguing against Ingo and trying to hurt the KOed pokemon that they're being idiots, and to follow the Warden's instructions before she ends up collapsing again. (Cogita and Enamorus somehow protected some of the shops from damage, and Vessa in Spiritomb form protected some of the Village children, who in turn are refusing to let her get caught and claiming her as friend much to her puzzlement)

Bit of lightheartedness I wasn't sure where to list here but: As the Settlements are repairing, Adaman decides he has to know now, grabs Mai's Celestica Flute and (very badly) plays the 'Clan Leader Meeting' call it's the only one he can play at all to see if anyone outside of the Diamond settlement made it. Cue Irida all the way over in the Pearl Settlement pausing in her digging to sigh in both exasperation and relief and (very beautifully) replying 'in a week'. Cue Adaman joyfully playing the same terrible note back, Irida replying again and then all of the Wardens -including Ingo- playing their own little 'we'll be there's to both clan leaders' weepy eyed joy/relief that everyone made it. (Akari's lack of joining in is noted, and Irida is concerned at Ingo's playing coming from Jubilife of all places but they're alive!)

Kamado wakes up on Mt Coronet to find his forces completely shattered; lots of dead or heavily injured with those awake weeping or quietly tending to each other or their pokemon... Numbly, he hears then staggers down the the temple to see Beni's pokemon 'arguing' over digging out the collapsed tunnel he told Beni to stay guarding (the Gardevoir keeps lunging for the dirt despite being too weak to move it psychically, the Galade is trying to haul her away from it and the Mismagus is wailing so yeah Kamado knows Beni's already dead and is getting a massive show into the 'humanity' of pokemon). He then just as numbly walks back into the temple, towards where the two 'Almighty Sinnoh' were to see that both have been turned to stone and that Akari, arms and legs burned gold (actual gold but also actual burns too), is by the foot of both 'statues' weeping and holding an egg that keeps shifting in colors between blue and pink/purple. ...And at this point I need to figure out how to give Kamado enough backstory parallels that when he pulls a sword and walks over to IDK murder Akari/the 'dual Sinnohs' egg and she pulls a 'defending it with her life' pose, he realizes he's become the 'village destroying Pokemon' of his nightmares and just kinda breaks, tossing his sword away 'Veilstone Myth' style and wailing as the chapter closes.

Got a few more ideas (the Clan leaders actions -especially Irida's- being why the Zoroark ghost swarm didn't kill those of Hisui as well as 'outsiders', first contact between Unova and Hisui, the Submas and 'Akari/her modern family' reunions, wtf happened to H!Volo and Giratina, what's going on with the immortal and chill Volo, and a bunch of other more miscellaneous things Wally!!!) but I'm apparently hitting the character limit so I think that's enough for now. Hope this blah was useful for you and good luck fellow PLA fanfic writers on all your endeavors <3

[balanceoflightanddark]

How's this for a dark avatar Ozai (Ozaatu) scenario?

During the comet's arrival, Ozai fights the last lion turtle instead of Aang. He doesn't even attack the earth kingdom at all like he said he would, it was a trick to keep team avatar distracted. He slays the behemoth by absorbing the LT's soul, therefore he's the ATLA equivalent of Shang Tsung.

I'm thinking, instead of Ozai fusing with Vaatu, Ozai IS Vaatu.

Vaatu got freed before harmonic convergence with some outside assistance but at the cost of his dark power, his power level was reduced to that of a human spirit, he only needs harmonic convergence to get that power back and with his human form, that'll be his way of getting the "dark" avatar state.

Book 4, air, basically has the second half of season 2 of Legend of Korra moved up into Aang's saga. Except it features Raava becoming the avatar spirit of darkness/chaos/yin and light/peace/yang at the same time, aka, balance itself, as well as the spirit of all sources of all bending/elements. Ozaatu's end goal was to become all that but not until after he had killed Raava and unleashed his pure/unbalanced darkness and chaos for 10,000 years.

To make sure this is all properly foreshadowed; when Aang meets Roku for the first time, he vaguely warns Aang about harmonic convergence and Vaatu's return to wreak havoc should the FN win the war with the comet, and Wan's two-part story arcs are moved up into the premiere of season 3. When Aang learns more about Sozin, it's revealed that Vaatu secretly orchestrated the great war through Sozin using one of the solstices to prey on Sozin's dark side.

Would you have done anything differently with this dark avatar concept in general?

I'll...be perfectly honest. I'm not really a fan of how Vaatu was portrayed in The Legend of Korra, so I might not be the best person to ask about this. But I will try to be as impartial on that matter as possible.

So anyways, Ozai/Vaatu. The only way I can see this work from my point of view is if Vaatu takes over Ozai's body and mind completely. I mean as bad as Ozai is, Vaatu is the embodiment and spiritual representation of evil. A being that has existed since before mankind. If the two fused, there's no way the former is gonna be able to dominate the latter to do his will. So it'll be like a complete inverse of Aang and the Avatar Spirit: rather than Aang controlling Raava and utilizing her power for good, Vaatu is controlling Ozai and essentially uses his body to wreak havoc since...well, he's a spirit of chaos and destruction. It's kind of in his nature. Which honestly would be doubly humiliating for Ozai since not only is his will being taken from him, but his self-importance is stripped away as something else causes more havoc on a scale not even he could wreak. Thus making his life inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. The worst thing a narcissist like him could experience.

As for your idea about Ozai being Vaatu...I...can't see it. I'm sorry. Ozai works as an utterly deplorable but also very human antagonist. The embodiment of the worst of the Fire Nation. Who Zuko would've become if he didn't change his ways. Divorcing Ozai from the Fire Nation by making him Vaatu...I'm so sorry. It's one of those things we're gonna have to agree to disagree on. I mean the idea of a godlike being forced to live among humans due to its power being taken could have some value since its hatred for its current state instead of appreciating mankind when it has a chance does have some merit. But for Ozai...I just don't see it.

Don't get me wrong, the idea of a Dark Avatar is fascinating. Like a more violent counterpart to the Guardian of Balance? You could do something with that, either as a villain or perhaps a counterpart to the Avatar as part of the franchise's themes of balance. And I do agree Ozai needed more character development to flesh him out. But I don't personally think Ozai being Vaatu is the way to go.

I mean the idea to have Ozai be more thematically opposed to Aang outside of being the final boss is a good concept. Like having his philosophy be the complete opposite for everything Aang stands for and a stand-in for the sort of warmongering that wiped out his culture is a great idea that I think should be explored. I just don't think making him Vaatu is the right direction.

Feel free to disagree with me though. I'm not one of those guys who browbeats everyone into thinking the exact same way.

[prettyboykatsuki]

am i warm enough for you?

➳ tags ;; soulmate au, strangers to lovers, fluff and angst but mostly fluff, some-what canon compliant, bakugo katsuki is bad at feelings, lots of Feelings™, you guys are adults but the end of the fic but the fic is sfw, alcohol, drunk confessions

➳ wc ;; 5.6k..

➳ plot summary ;; you see your soulmate in dreams - sometimes in bits and pieces and other times in full. bakugo is less than inclined to admit he even has a soulmate - and you learn how to cope with it, one day at a time.

bakugo learns that this soulmate shit is no joke. that has to be why he keeps falling for you so helplessly.

➳ a/n ;; i wasn’t even gonna comeback this early but it felt so wrong not to post on my bfs birthday so alas </3 for anyone who cares to know this is @elysianseraph but with my new url. nice to see u all <3

this was originally posted on 4/20 but im reposting cause it didn’t show up in the tags dskjds

It’s hazy.

A cloud of smoke settles over your body, permeating your lung. It smells like sugar, like burning, like smoke and a little like leather. You can feel your toes curl and your hands moving but your body is separate from you in a way you can’t describe. It’s a pleasant kind of warmth that spreads, creeping up from behind your neck till it’s soft and cradling your skull. It’s soft like the touch of a mother, like wool over your ears.

It’s a pleasant feeling, that’s all. Almost cozy but there’s a fading sense of distress that chills in your lungs as you encompass it. Your hands are too small to reach forward, and truthfully the sensation is so powerful that you’re afraid to reach out. You’re 6 years old, so all you know is how it makes you feel. You can’t remember many details, but you feel pleasant. Something about it is soft, but there’s a sharp edge right at the end that has your lungs gasping for air.

It’s a flash of colors. Red. Orange. Pale Yellow. Grey. Black. Forest Green. Red. Red. Orange. Red.

And then it fades into a feeling again. A blurry feeling. You feel conflict, then concern, then inadequacy in heavy waves almost like it’s drowning you. It’s the first time you’ve experienced such a pain, so your wailing and wiping tears away with chubby fingers and saying a name you don’t know and can’t remember.

Ka. You know the sound, Ka. But you don’t know of anything more. It repeats rhythmically in your mind like a knock on the door, rapping with urgency - but it doesn’t do anything to jog your memory. Someone is trying to be let in but you don’t know how to answer them, and you’re still crying. The distress, the inadequacy shakes you and all you feel is frustration in short simple bursts.

Your first encounter with your soulmate is written this way in your memory. A sense of urgency laced with frustration - but they’re not towards you. It’s him, his feelings - you can feel them even deeper then he can. They pierce you in a way that makes it hard to breathe, no matter how you try to escape them it’s an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. The only way to escape the feelings of a dream is either to control them, or to face them and swim through the fog.

Soulmates have an urgency to them, in general. His is different, you can tell as much. Your first soulmate dream leaves the heaviest impression and each one thereafter is like pieces of a puzzle.

Sometimes you simply share random dreams, like a split screen in a video game - the two of you witness different parts of the same dreamverse. Other times, and honestly - most times, you’re experiencing their emotions or feelings. You experience their core memories, their life, in flashes and bits and pieces.

It’s not enough to know them or who they are, it’s like know everything about them except the things that matter

Sometimes you meet too. Just barely.

MEETING 1:

The room is white. When you blink, colors flash in order - red, pale yellow, orange, forest green and you know. You blink a few more times, stretching your hands out in front of yourself. Curling your hands into fist then into stretched palms, you lean forward and stretch. You wriggle your toes - notice you're wearing shoes. Clothes from your closet. Strange.

You take a look around the room but there isn't much to see. There’s a wall in front of you with a glass divider and a mirrored empty room. The room across from yours has spiky decor littered against the walls. An orange dresser, plastic grenades and play guns. You know who it is without a second warning - and a foggy part in the back of your head tells you that it’s him, again but with more force. You don’t see anything in your room, but you figure he might. All of it is confusing to you.

Before you can blink, there’s a loud thud coming from the other side of the glass. It’s a silhouette, the outline of a face - but nothing clear. Dream logic dictates you can’t know a face you’ve never seen, yet somehow you know his outline. Spiky, he’s spiky everywhere.

“Hello?,” you call out, overly tentative. The figure pauses, seems to take in whatever they must be seeing. You’re not sure what response you’re expecting, really. There’s no expectations at all.

“...Who the fuck are you?,” says a pitchy, male voice. He sounds like he’s your same age, a highschool boy. His throat is rough, yet not overly deep. It’s almost scratchy.

“Uhm,”

You’re not sure how to reply. You can see him through the glass, but not really. Still, you take note of his shadows like they’re going to tell you anything more. You shove your hands in your pockets, messing around with something inside.

“Uh.. your soulmate, I think,” you reply.

Scratching the back of your neck as an awkward silence settles, you take a few minutes to try and figure what more to say.

“We met when we were kids once too,” you explain awkwardly. He must know, has too - this soulmate thing is a two way thing, but his silence is deafening. You just want to feel this space. Is it always this awkward?

“Red. Orange. Pale Yellow. Forest Green,” you repeat, like a mantra. You hear him take in a sharp breath, and freeze. For some reason, you’d like to avoid upsetting him. He doesn’t seem like he’s taking to the information too well.

“I don’t have time for this damn bullshit… whatever quirk you’ve got to mimic this - cut it the fuck out,”

Hostile.

You pause, not sure how to feel. Half of you is offended, the other half is confused - had you done something to upset him? You can feel how he feels - but you don’t understand it. You sit with your mouth agape, like a fish out of water. Unsure of how to proceed, you scoff a little.

“Woah.. this isn’t a quirk thing. We’re.. soulmates? That’s already a thing,”

More silence. You’ve.. he doesn’t seem upset, but you can tell he’s not all that keen to the idea. It’s a bare minimum improvement that you find yourself valuing, without your consent. He breathes again, throat even more hoarse than before. His voice is angry but it doesn’t fit his responses, his feelings - so you don’t pay attention to his madness. Something is off.

“... I’m not supposed to have a soulmate. No fucking way I have a soulmate,” he grits. You step back, stumbling. You didn’t have any expectations.. but this wasn’t what you had been expecting at all. You feel uneasy, sick. It must be a shared feeling if the way he leans against a wall counts for anything.

A beat of silence passes before you open your mouth to speak.

“... I have no idea what I’m supposed to say to that,” you admit. He scoffs.

“Nothing you damn extra. Leave me the fuck alone,”

You don’t reply, too stunned. This was your soulmate? This.. asshole? Not that you were a peach entirely either, but this was supposedly the person that the universe had decided for you?

You shake your head. Maybe you’re just being rash? He could be a nice guy behind all the chaos. You try your best to hold onto that, that this was literally someone chosen for you before you gave up all hope. You sigh, cracking your neck.

“You can say whatever you want but.. we’re here, you know? It’s more productive to just go with it.. isn’t it?,”

“Go fuck yourself,”

“After meeting you, I’m not exactly over the fucking moon about it either. It is what is,”

“You’re not my fucking.. soulmate or whatever the fuck. Leave me alone,”

Your heart both aches with anger and sadness. You don’t know what to do. What does this shit-head know about you, anyway? You know he’s been through some shit, same as you - what makes him so entitled? You swallow the lump in your throat. It hurts. It pierces. Stupid soulmate bonds.

“Yeah? Alright. Fuck you too,”

You see him pace around for a longer before he disappears in a cloud of smoke. You didn’t even catch his name, and you’re not sure you wanted too. It must be morning, but at least you're away from him. It feels lonely, but it must just be you.

Your eyes flutter open but your heart is heavy with regret. You don’t know who it belongs to, but you’ve got class in an hour and not enough time to think about it. If he doesn’t want to meet you that’s fine.

It’s fine. Not like you wanted to meet your soulmate anyway.

__

You don’t have another meeting with your soulmate for months. Lately your dreams have little if anything to do with him or where he is, how he’s been. You have some of those split screen ones, where you know he’s there but neither of you acknowledge each other, even in spirit, like how you did before. When you wake up feeling angsty, you don’t know how to distinguish the feeling but you don’t try.

You wonder idly if he can feel your apathy, if he cares enough too. Maybe he also mistakes it for his own? It seems likely.

It’s a weekday where you’re getting ready for remedial classes at your school. First year advanced courses were no joke, and you find yourself regretting your choice to participate in them.

Still you get dressed anyway, put your uniform on and brush your teeth - wash your face with your eyes half open and look presentable. No one's home in the morning, the house is empty of any life but you. Food becomes a last minute priority, so you make an egg sandwich with cheese and eat it on the way to the train station.

You stare down at your feet as you step outside, music drowning out the noise of your surroundings aptly. The walk to the station is long and the ride is longer, but the streets are packed edge to edge. Musutafu is busy this time of year - the U.A. Sports Festival is taking place today and everything seems to reflect that. You barely manage to squeeze past all the strangers on the subway - clearly on their way to see it.

When you get to school, you're greeted by a mostly empty classroom with a teacher. These classes were straightforward as always, do the work you need to correct, have it approved and leave. It repeats until your finished with all the assignments and you get to be done. You give a respectful nod to your teacher before grabbing your work from your bag.

It goes on and on - occasionally, you hear an excited gasp and quiet chatter from classmates. It’s about the festival, the happenings - but you’re too caught up in completing your work that day and trying to get the fuck out of their as soon as possible.

Shit like that didn’t matter to you, anyways. It’s just a festival.

You leave around the same time the festival seems to have ended, the streets flooded with people - you miss the first station and wander towards an electronics store a block away from your highschool.

It’s the winners on TV. A guy with split hair - Shouto Todoroki, Endeavors son. A guy with a bird head, and a blonde with red eyes - muzzled to the pole.

When you see them, your heart stops. You can feel anger, an unfamiliar rage and humiliation building in your chest. It feels the word has stopped as you watch from afar, through screens. Your soulmate seems upset about something, but you wouldn’t know what.

And that blonde on TV, you wonder if you know him from somewhere.

MEETING 2:

Red.Orange. Pale Yellow. Grey. Black. Forest Green. Red. Red.

You feel him before you even know what’s happening - and it catches you completely off-guard. You haven’t had a proper soulmate dream in two years. Smoke clouds your lungs, the taste of sugar burning your tongue as you cough yourself into awareness. This time, you’re not in a room but it’s a campground. In the middle of the space is a bonfire, burning warmly. This one feels more vivid, more real.

But you know it’s not, your body feel unusually light and your hands can’t hold anything for too long. You know it’s a dream, but you sit in the chair anyway. It feels like you're floating. You feel oddly warm. Dread builds in the pit of your stomach. Even though it’s been so long since you’ve spoken to your soulmate - you can’t forget the terrible first encounter. It sticks to the roof of your mouth - a bitter memory that fills you with unexplainable, irrational resentment.

But it’s not like you hadn’t been seeing him, to an extent. You’ve seen all his memories in bits and pieces - all of them tragic and painful. This time, you see people but they come in the form of small scraps. Spiky Red. Electricity. Tape. Pink with Horns. Music. Green. So much green and red - like Christmas, you’ve called it. You’ve seen disappearances, fear, anguish - so much anguish.

In the weeks after All Might’s fall, you were in so much pain - you couldn’t stop crying for days. It’s been enough time to know what feelings were yours and which were his - and these ones felt so much like him. It went on for nearly a year - you’d almost got accustomed to it. If tears showed up to blot the ink of your lecture notes, you didn’t think twice about it. You tried to keep yourself calm, steady - in hopes you could lend your soothing to him. Even if he hated your guts, you could barely believe so much sadness could exist in one person. You didn’t know what happened but whatever it was - it must’ve been terrible. At the very least, you felt sympathy.

Sympathy was enough to get by for a long time. A neutral, level-headed sympathy that helped soothe some of your own hurt.

All that said, you were hardly expecting to see him again - especially not this soon. You don’t remember the last time you thought about him in anything other than passing - actively. It’s one thing to know what's happening - you’ve felt him passively everyday for damn near two years.

But it’s another thing to see him in front of you, force yourself to acknowledge him as your soulmate even if he insists on not doing the same.

You squirm in your chair, noticing that you’re wearing PJ’s instead of clothes. Just a hoodie and sweats, none of which fit you quite right. You pull your sleeves over your hands, fiddling with the stray strand of thread loose.

“What the fuck is this shit?,”

Your stomach drops. Unsure of what to say, you opt to say nothing at all. Just let him be, sit quietly in your dreams and mind your business. Maybe he’ll wake up soon and it’ll all be over.

You can’t see him from the corner of your vision but you can hear him shuffle. The way he touches things, noticing how they make noise but don’t feel quite right in his hands. How it feels real but doesn’t, how it is real and isn’t. Surely, he’s noticed you by now. The lingering silence makes you squirm.

“...It’s you,”

You flinch, lifting your head up slightly to meet his gaze. His expression is unreadable, but it’s different from before. In a fleeting moment, something occurs to you.

You can see him. What he looks like. Blonde with red eyes, and a sharp chin and thin waist. You know it must mean you’ve seen him before - perhaps you’d even seen each other, but for your life you can’t remember where you’ve seen his face. It’s right there, on the edge of your mind, but you’re stumped.

“Hello?,”

“Oh,” your reply comes short, strained. Your eyes flutter as you press your lips into a flat line. “Uh, hi,”

The blonde sits in the chair, slumping down. His eyes go towards the flickering flames without another word and you decide it’s best not to engage. It stays like that for a while, a beat of silence - not awkward but not comfortable, passing by without another thought. It all feels real, present - not like normal dreams. This must be the special kind of soulmate thing you find yourself feeling resentful towards.

His eyes are heavy. Relief is overwhelming him, with an iron grip and he’s worried you can feel it. If you can, you don’t say a word.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,”  he admits.

The words sound tender passing through his mouth, unmistakably so - but you don’t get your hopes up. Instead, you give him a placating laugh, leaning forward towards the fire and mirroring him.

“I didn’t think so either,”

When it falls silent, it feels comfortable. It’s not like either of you have anything to say to each other right now, with no manual on how this was supposed to go. If he even wanted to go there.

“I can.. see you,” you start. He squints.

“You couldn’t before?,”

This takes you by surprise. You shake your head.

“No..Could you? See me, I mean?,”

Bakugo feels heat rise to his skin. Oh. Huh.

“Yeah,” he replies, a sharp inhale leaving his lungs “I can see you,”

There’s something tense in the air. It’s a strange sensation - to know the deepest and most intimate parts of someone without even knowing their name proper, or where they went to school, or what they normally eat for breakfast. All that connects you are these mutual feelings, shared grief that holds you two to the title of soulmates. This odd bond.

“..d’ya still think I’m a quirk wielding villain?,” you laugh, or try too - you’re doing your best to cut the tension. He can feel your hurt all the way from your sit, so deep in his gut - it’s been haunting him for years. How many nights of sleep he’s lost knowing there are soft and helpless tears coming from these suppressed feelings. He doesn’t know how to say sorry, so he sighs and rubs the back of his neck. He’s changed a lot in two years - but not enough to be good at this.

“No, I don’t,”

“Oh,”

He smiles, just a little. It’s gentle, casts shadow on his face from the light of the fire. It’s warm, everything feels warm and better and invigorating. When you look at him and his uneasy expression - you know he feels it too.

“By the way, uhm - what’s your name? Ka.. something? Right?,”

His eyes shoot up in surprise. He nods a little.

“Katsuki Bakugo,” he replies, expectantly. You seem surprised that he wants to know yours.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” comes your reply.

“Nice to meet you,” says him, Bakugo - your soulmate.

“Nice to meet you too,”

__

Getting to know Bakugo is unusually easy. You get the feeling it wouldn’t be, in the case that you were anything but soulmates - but Bakugo has never known being this intimate with someone other than you. Despite himself, how much he hates himself - you never seem too. Even though you feel and see all the ugliest parts of him - have since he was small enough to still be innocent, you always treat him the same.

Your conversations are short, and shallow. Regardless, he’s not used to talking so much about himself. But you’re always curious, so much so Bakugo doesn’t have the heart to see your countless questions go unanswered.

You keep a little notebook of all of your encounters. You remember them by heart but write them down too, just in case you miss something. You ask about his friends - Spiky Red and Soft Green, referring to them that way even after you’ve known their names. You ask about his work - the life of a dangerous hero, and if he ever gets nervous flying through the air.

Admittedly, he’s mean to you. He teases you so frequently, he’s lost count of all the times you’ve huffed and puffed at his sarcastic remarks. Still, you never turn away from him. You stand with your foot down and your arms crossed over your chest - insistent on making him feel flustered too. And it works, somehow - because you know all too much about Bakugou and always gets him right where he’s most conscious about. You don’t have to tease him about his feelings since you know them like the palms of your hand.

But these shallow conversations always mean a little more to him that he knows how to verbalize, and half the time he doesn’t need to do that at all. You’ve learned the masterful of working around him quietly, making all the parts of that feel too big to love - something small and fragile. Somehow, you’ve made being with him, even as friends - feel like less of an impossible feat but a dream.

Katsuki Bakugo has been in love with you since he was 6 years old. There must be some feelings we cannot share with our soulmates, because he has no idea if you feel it or not. He just knows he does, somewhere deep in the cavern of his heart, he loves you.

You never cross the barrier of romance with him, though. A paralyzing fear seems to settle in your bones when you breach too close to love and intimacy - and Bakugo understands those feelings, even if he doesn’t know exactly why they’re there. It’s not something you’ve decided to tell him yet, but he feels it in the same way he feels your loneliness. You may be kind but you’re more guarded than he is, and not fearless but reckless.

But he still finds himself aching to love and be loved by you, no matter how much he hates it. The yearning still manages to swallow him, even late into the night.

MEETING 3:

It’s been a while since your last meeting with Bakugo but not long. You were 21 now, but your dream visits were frequent. When you weren't speaking or seeing him through dreams - you were watching him on TV. You’d been yet to meet with him in real life but to you, that was okay. Seeing him like this had been more than enough.

Today was different. Normally, that bonfire was always a back-drop to these little encounters but it was a field today - a filed with rolling hills and hundreds of flowers and tall grass that made you feel itchy. The sun was permanently stuck right before it set but it was so warm everywhere. When you get there, there’s a blanket on the top of one of the hills. You sit on it cautiously and watch the wind pass. Everything is tinged orange, and red - you know he’s there with you before he appears.

When he does, he seems different. You glance over at him as he stumbles towards you in a stupor, and when he does finally sit - you get a whiff of alcohol coming from his neck and mouth. It’s strong enough to make a little dizzy. Blinking owlishly, he sits crisscross besides you, staring a little at the surroundings.

“..the fuck?,” he slurs. You can’t help but break out into a laugh. He nearly falls over, body swaying so you bring his head down to your shoulder wordlessly, a furious heat running all over your skin. Even though you can’t feel him, the gesture makes you feel something in your belly.

“Why’re you so drunk?,”

“Birthday,” he mumbles. Your eyes widen in surprise. Bakugo is seemingly unfazed, eyes drooping with tiredness. He’s completely inebriated.

You feel yourself grow tender. You’d have to wake up and remember the days date. Despite all the times you’ve met, you had no clue about his birthday or how he celebrated. You feel your heart ache at the idea you’ve spent the latter half of it together, in your own way.

“Happy Birthday, Bakugo.”

“Bakugo this, Bakugo that,” he growls, a little incoherent “We’re supposed to be fucking soulmates and you still call me by that.. damn name.”

He hiccups a little as you sit there stunned. You blink.

“.. You think of us as soulmates?,”

“Are you some kind of moron?,”

You scowl, flicking his forehead with your thumb and forefinger. He makes a noise of indignance.

“Well, how would I know? When we first met, you didn’t seem enthused about it,”

Bakugo sighs tiredly.

“I was 15 and an asshole - clearly I don’t fuckin’ feel that anymore,”

You seem surprised again.

“..You don’t?,”

Instead of swearing at you, he closes his eyes and gets closer to you. The liquor runs through his system like liquid courage and he nods a little.

“Not at all,”

“What do you..”

“What do you think I mean?,” he barks a laugh. You feel your pulse under your skin, drumming against your chest like a hammer. You can’t even breathe.

You’ve had feelings for Bakugo from the second proper meeting you’d had with him. It was clear as a day that he was your soulmate for good reason, that inexplicable draw that kept your heart from ever belonging to anyone else. You tried to - tried to go on dates and see other opportunities through but he was always so one of a kind.

Yet, you’d given up all hope that it would mean anything to harbor these feelings, convinced that Bakugo simply wasn’t interested in you In doing any of this. You didn’t want to force him into something he didn’t want - so you kept your distance with hope that he’d still be in your life. It was enough, or you’d wanted it to be.

It’d be a lie to say that you hadn’t started thinking about it more and more as the days pass. What it would be like to see him, touch him and love him and be with him for real - these passive daydreams gone vivid. If he could see your dreams, he must know about them. But you didn’t know how to approach it - how to approach love at all.

That’s the thing with soulmates. You’re told that you’ll just have the answers, destiny will do the hard work but that’s far from true. Because even now, with Bakugo leaning  on your shoulder with this confession lingering in the air - you don’t know what to do.

“Stop being so nervous,” he mumbles. You stumble a little over yourself.

“Sorry,”

He chuckles.

“You really need me to say it, huh?,” he sighs. He picks himself. If he’s drunk and reckless, then fuck it - he’s gonna take it all the way. He drops his head onto your lap with a tired sigh.

“I think you’re my soulmate, you fuckin’ idiot,” he admits.

And it’s hard to say, because feelings don’t come easy for Bakugo Katsuki - but it’s the least he can do. All Bakugo Katsuki has ever known is to be lonely. It’s a loneliness that he’d forced on himself. Bottling up all the anger and sadness and swallowing it. It’s long since sunk it’s claws into him. That overwhelming, all consuming ugly feeling that lingers underneath that superiority complex.

That no one would ever, could ever love the ugliness that lingers in him. That no one who knew him for what he truly is, could care for him. Deku was the first of many disbeliefs and not much had changed.

Except for when it did. Except for when he met you - in a dream, and you were real and beautiful even at 15. That the universe hadn’t been playing some sick joke on him when he kept seeing you in his dreams, so soothing to his teenage loneliness. You were real and that was so fucking scary.

But you loved him anyway. Looked out for him when he was at his lowest - the soothing beat of your heart  in the days after All Mights end . When he cried himself into sleep and dreamed of you. God, how he dreamed of you. Not especially romantic dreams, but dreams of how you made breakfast. How you watched cartoons on Sunday and read manga in your classes instead of the assigned work. How you fell asleep on the train station and always ate icecream after big tests. How you were especially mundane and how he got to be apart of that everyday routine.

After all, you see dreams of each other, but Bakugo has no clue what your dreams of him look like. His have always looked like you though.

When he was worthless and empty and unable to give you anything meaningful, to apologize or put his pride away - you had loved him anyway. Felt for him with clumsy hands and held on, not letting go. Even when he was begging for you to leave him alone, in fear of this all being nothing more than a cruel dream - you held on tightly to him. With your silly notebook questions and dumb names.

Bakugo Katsuki has never known what it means to love someone who isn’t you. Even if you found someone else and there was someone better than you for him, he would grit his teeth and bear it. He wonders if he’ll ever believe he deserves you. He wants to believe you’re his soulmate - to believe you wont ever leave. To believe that he did something right enough that the universe could give him someone like you.

And he wishes he could say all this, but he can’t - he just closes his eyes and hopes you can feel it.

“You’re so mean,”

“Isn’t that why you like me?,” he grins.

And you can feel his sincerity. He should feels yours too.

“I love you, actually,”

He gasps, a sharp breath that stabs his lungs. He feels sober from the confession.

His voice is gravelly when he speaks.

“Yeah, shit - me too,”

__

Your heart beats rapidly in your chest. The address is correct, it has to be with the way this place looks. Only a hero could live here, with the floors that lead up to skies. He lives on 3rd floor, so you swallow your fear. You give yourself a thumbs up in the glass window pane of the building before entering through the doors.

When you get there, a box sits. You press the button next to his place, bouncing on the balls of your feet until you answer.

“Hello?,”

His voice feels different in real life. You  cough.

“Uh, hi,” you greet awkwardly “I’m here,”

“Oh,” he says. You hear something buzz and then him again. “Come on up,”

And you do. The elevator ride feels like it stretches mild, classic piano echoing against the empty walls. You feel yourself feel sick but you’re not sure it’s from the movement. All you can do is fidget and wait.

When the doors open, you peak your head out into the hallway. He’s the first one on the left, just as promised. You can see a welcome mat - forest green, and something in you knows that it’s the right one.

You step up and knock, three times precisely. Your heart is all the way in your ears and everything in you is filled with unease and excitement.

When the door swings open, the world stops. You gape like a fish out of water in disbelief. He’s tall and big like he promised he’d be, but you’re unprepared. His chin is scruffy, eyes full of sleep. Strong chest and arms that seem to crowd your vision, you don’t know what do.

His expression is full to the brim with feelings you’ve never seen. He steps aside with his head ducked down.

“Come in,”

“Ah.. right,”

You take your shoes off and place them in the slippers meant for you - they fit you just right, and it can’t be a coincidence. Your heart swells up a little as you take your coat off, hanging it on the rack. You can feel his eyes as they linger on your silhouette.

“So -,”

Before you can get a word out, you feel strong arms wrapped around your waist. His scruff brushes against the skin of your neck as he holds you tightly too him. The warmth of his breath lingers on your neck - and he hiccups, a sob stored in his rib cages let out with a howl. The tears blur your vision too. You can feel his drip onto your shoulder as you snivel into his neck. Your legs feel weak, but he holds you up at the door - the only thing keeping you standing.

You cling around him tightly, your nails digging into the meat of his shoulders. It’s him, your soulmate, Katsuki Bakugo. He’s real and holding you - and he smells like leather and sugar and a fireplace. He’s warm and strong and overwhelming and your crying into his shoulder with so much feeling you don’t know what to do. You hit him weakly, unsure of what do with yourself and he laughs.

“Damn you, shitty woman - makin’ me fucking cry,” but his voice is strained. It’s like something connected, how you feel each other so intimately in that moment. Not only because you’re soulmates, but because you love each other so deeply. Your heart feels heavy.

When you pull away, you manage to give him a warbly smile.

Your hands cradle his face - so handsome and wonderful. You lean forward, emboldened, and peck him. He melts into your touch like he’d been waiting for this moment his whole life. It makes you grin.

Maybe you don’t realize that he had.

He’d been waiting for you all this time.

[donaweasley]

What If

Pairing: Loki x Fem! Avenger! Reader

Plot:

A silly game of “What-Ifs” between two friends eventually leads to the realisation that the future, if spent together, may not be as bleak as they had anticipated it to be. A dialogue-based best friends-to-lovers cliché.

Warnings: Relationship angst, too many dialogues, long read, happy ending!!!

Read time: ~28 mins

Author's Note:

It's a long read with far more dialogues than can be deemed healthy. The reason is, I didn't want their arc to feel rushed. It had to be cooked slow. Another reason is that, I can't help hearing my characters, and it triggers a flood of dialogues! I'm trying to work on controlling it. 😬 Hope you enjoy!

Now has a sequel: Their Little Secret

“C’mon! You’re breaking the rules now,” Loki casually waved his hand at his best friend.

“I’m not. There’s nothing to answer really,” (Y/N) replied with a shrug.

“There must be something on your mind!”

She pretended to think for a second, and shook her head.

---------------------

It was a usual night in the compound. It was just another night when one of these two friends had called the other in the middle of the night for some midnight snack. It was just another of those happy times when they had tiptoed into the kitchen like thieves because...no, no one would mind some missing nachos or ice creams, but because it was fun!

It wasn’t easy for Loki to open up to someone, let alone to allow the other person in. Neither was it easy for (Y/N) to trust somebody, given her past, especially when that somebody was infamous for betraying almost everyone, at every step, not to mention his attempts at ruling Earth and causing massacre.

But time is a healer and a magician.

And here they were now, looking at the moon-washed night life through the west-facing glass wall, and playing a game of “what-ifs”. One would say that it was silly and immature; some would even call their talks gibberish. But when the night was so relaxed and carefree, why wouldn’t they be?

The pale yellow orb hovering above the western horizon cast a soft ray of light through the glass wall. Oblivious to its movements across the room, Loki and (Y/N) were wrapped in a thin blanket on a couch, their feet resting on two separate pouffes.

It had all started with a silly question, something like, “What if you weren’t stuck in this building tonight?”, or something along those lines; they didn’t even remember correctly anymore.

One question led to the other, and soon they found themselves tangled in a game of questions that would have been enough to create an alternate reality. But eventually, they found themselves, not answering with imaginary scenarios, but debating over one particular question:

“What if you find the love of your life tomorrow?”

This question was posed by Loki, rather theatrically, amidst the many others that had tossed different possibilities of their near future. And it was here that (Y/N) refused to play along anymore because, as she stated, it was “the most silly question ever”.

---------------------

“So, you claim that my question is even worse than your ‘What if you were a Jotun cat’? What kind of a question is that anyway?” Loki teased.

“Of course, it is. Undoubtedly!” With one wave of her hand, (Y/N) dismissed his appeal.

“And how is that even logical, may I know?”

“C’mon, this entire game is out of the boundaries of logic,” she claimed. “Your behaviour is like that of a cat. Don’t make that face; it brings you closer to being a cat. And...a Jotun cat sounds cool!”

Loki sighed. “And my question is ridiculous! If the game is beyond all reason, then...” he shrugged, “say something...weird, and move on!”

“Fine! If I-if... If I meet the love of my life tomorrow,...I’ll stab him. Or her. Or them. I don’t even know.” She huffed.

“Ouch!” Loki made a face, ”Didn’t see that coming. I would enjoy the stabbing part though. Thank the Norns, you never declared your feelings for me!”

She looked at him sideways with a stern face. Loki noticed the irritation simmering just beneath her skin, ready to burst out at the next prodding.

“Hey,” he placed a hand on her arm, “what happened? Was it something I said?”

She turned her face away. But Loki wasn’t giving up that easily.

“(Y/N),” he gently tugged at her arm, “look at me.”

When she finally turned towards him, he held her by the shoulders just to make sure that she couldn’t move away again.

“Now, you’ll tell me everything. What happened?” He inquired again. “I thought you were having fun.”

“It’s nothing Loki, it’s just that...you know I don’t like discussing my non-existent love-life. It’s...it kind of makes me...sad sometimes. Especially in a setting like this!” She waved her hands at her surroundings. “I mean, look at it, a full moon, a silent night, blankets and… It just leaves me with this reminder that I’ll be alone all my bloody life!”

Loki’s hands slowly retracted from her form and folded themselves on his chest. And just like that, they both found themselves staring out of the window.

“I’m sorry,” Loki’s voice audibly reflected the guilt that had formed within, “I never intended to...”

“No, you shouldn’t be. It’s...I overreacted. I’m sorry, Loki. I just ruined the mood. Shit! And it’s not my hormones, mind you!”

“I know,” Loki chuckled. “And you did not ruin anything. It’s natural to feel, isn’t it?”

She looked at him with a raised brow, “Somebody’s learning!”

“Somebody’s got a good teacher,” he smiled.

“Aww!! I love it when you acknowledge my awesomeness!” She wrapped an arm around him, pulling him in closer, and pinched his cheek.

“Ugh! Let go of me! Let...go!!”

The room was filled with (Y/N)’s cackles and Loki’s threats as he wriggled out of her grip.

“Do that one more time, and I’ll stab you!”

But it wasn’t enough to stop her chortles.

“Would you now?” she teased, and raised her hands again in a faux attempt at squeezing his cheeks.

He swatted them away.

“Stop it!” He warned again, only to emanate snorts from her.

But the next second, his voice changed into a compassionate one, “Why do you think you’ll be alone all your life? How old are you anyway? 80? 90? Isn’t that supposed to be old in human years?”

Once again her cheerful mood fled behind a thick curtain of annoyance. But this time she did not look away. She simply rolled her eyes, and pulled her legs from the pouffe to sit cross-legged, and shifted to face him.

“No, I’m not that old. But why are you suddenly so interested in this topic?”

“Because suddenly, you seem to have found an interest in getting annoyed.”

“Then don’t annoy me.”

“Not in my nature, I’m afraid.”

She couldn’t decide whether to hit him or laugh at him.

“Loki-” She curled her fists and shut her eyes.

“I’m listening, darling,” he smirked.

Of course, she knew how stubborn Loki could be!

Who else would know that better than me?

“Okay,” she placed her palms flat on her thighs, “the thing is...I can never make a relationship last more than two years. I waste my time trying to establish a...a proper, long-lasting relationship - something permanent - and end up with a heartbreak. Every. Fucking. Time. I’ve given up. I’ve had enough! Now, even if anyone makes a move, or if I’m interested in someone, I just remind myself that it’s not gonna work! I just don’t put any effort anymore.”

Loki hummed in response; his eyes were focused on her as if he was trying to decipher a mystery.

“And,” she continued, “given my current ‘job’,” she air-quoted the word, “I’m more sure than ever that no one will last more than two months now!”

Once she voiced the storm in her head, her eyes softened and she looked down at her lap. Through hooded eyes, she stole a guilty, fleeting glance at her friend, who seemed to be musing about something really serious. His eyes were strained on the carpet, while his chin rested on a fisted hand balancing itself on his thigh.

For a long moment neither said anything. Only the distant buzz of the sleepless city floated through the air and filled the room.

It was Loki who disrupted the silence with a long and heavy sigh.

“I knew that Midgardian men were impatient, narcissistic-”

“Look who’s talking,” she smirked as she interrupted him.

He gave her a quick deadpanned stare before resuming, “-imbeciles, but I was beginning to think that they have good tastes in women. It’s disappointing, not surprising though, that they have proven me wrong.”

A small laugh almost made its way to its escape, but she pushed it back. “You think so?” She quipped.

He shrugged, “From what you’ve said, there is no reason to think otherwise.”

She sat a little straighter. “Really? Do go on!”

Loki immediately noticed the effect that he had planned for. Without giving away the joy of his small triumph, he continued, “Indeed! Look at you! You’re an amazing woman! You’re brave, witty, independent...smart...excellent with knives! And that’s my favourite thing about you, by the way. ”

Feigning offence, she exclaimed, “And I thought your favourite thing about me was that I tolerate all your tantrums, and keep up with your shenanigans.”

“I don’t throw tantrums, darling,” he pushed the accusation away with his silky tone, “and don’t tell me that you take no pleasure in the havoc that we wreck together.”

At this, she could no longer suppress the evil grin that spread across her face, “I do love a bit of chaos. It’s fun.”

“To think of it,” Loki added excitedly, “had you been on Asgard, you might have been the Goddess of Chaos!”

“Oh! Thank you!” She replied with a dramatic wave of her hands.

Both laughed at the way their words were unfolding.

“Thank you, Loki,” (Y/N) said after their little whirlwind of laughter had calmed down, “I guess I needed to hear something nice about myself. It’s been a long, long time since I heard it.”

“I meant every word of it,” he replied in a solemn tone that made something flutter in her chest.

Was it gratitude? Was it joy? Was it love for her best friend?

It was hard to tell. It seemed to be everything at once.

She simply smiled at him. “Even the ‘Goddess of Chaos’ part?”

“Especially that part,” he asserted, and she laughed.

“You’re the best, Loki!” She gave him a half hug.

“That, I definitely am. But you’re not too shabby yourself. And you should never ever be sad for someone else’s failure.”

“Alright, I get what you’re trying to do here,” she landed a playful punch to his shoulder. “I’m fine! Really! I just got a little carried away.”

“No, I really mean it,” he tried to assure her. “You are one of the most magnificent women I have known! And mind you, I’m rather picky in these cases.”

She laughed, “Of course, I’d know that! ... Loki, it’s...it’s alright. Some people just don’t have it in them to sustain relationships no matter how wonderful they are. I’m okay with it.”

“Come on! A narcissistic God is showering you with genuine compliments! And you’re still not convinced that it’s not your fault but of all those who failed to keep up with you?”

She tried another attempt at convincing him, “It works both ways.”

“Norns! I can’t believe you’re so foolish!”

“Enlighten me, please,” she drawled.

“I believe I have already established the fact that you are phenomenal.”

When she giggled and nodded, he carried on.

“Good. Now, your job, as you put it, shouldn’t be a hindrance in your relationship. You’re doing the marvellous job of being a guardian to thousands of people. People you don’t even know! How many would put their necks out there to do it?”

“C’mon, Loki, when duty calls, you have to leave everything behind and just go! Who’d tolerate that for days? They will snap one day.”

“I’d never do that!” Realizing his mistake, he quickly corrected himself, “What I mean is, had I been in their place, I’d have never done that.”

“That’s because you’re on the team,” she argued. “So, it’s normal to you.”

“No, it’s not because I’m on the team. I’d-” He sighed. “Fine, why don’t you try finding someone from this field? Stark’s parties are a great place to hunt humans.”

“‘Hunt humans’?” She snorted, “I like the sound of that. Nay, haven’t found anyone. Besides, mixing professional and personal life can be fatal. You never know when your personal life might get jeopardised because of a mission gone wrong. Y’know, the usual blame-game and all. I hate all that!”

Loki brooded over her words for a few seconds before asking, “I don’t get it. Why would it be fatal? I mean, look at us,” he gestured in between them. “We have a perfect understanding. We’d never blame the other for any petty thing. Or-or let it affect our friendship.”

“That’s because we have the perfect understanding, Loki! You said it yourself. It’s a rare thing that we have. And I can’t expect it to be with anyone else. They’re not you, Loki.”

“They’re not us,” he corrected her.

Joy seeped through his senses as he watched her face brighten up at his words.

With a nod, she continued, “You see, all that spark, excitement, promises - these sound really great at the beginning. As time passes, as the real world pushes in, love moves to the backseat. Love is not enough. There comes a time when you have to balance everything together, and love becomes one of those things. It becomes a chore.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t follow you,” Loki stated with a frown. “That sounds so sad!”

“It is!”

“Well, it shouldn’t be! Loving you shouldn’t be a chore! Let’s say...hypothetically...if I’m in love with you, then you’d be my passion. And passions never become a duty, not even in the worst of times. Instead, they help us breathe when everything comes caving in. You’d be my...my moment of peace in a war. How could I not be tempted to embrace this beautiful moment?”

“Unfortunately, Loki, that’s not how it works. See, when you have a lot on your plate, say your job, your dreams, your daily life and all the pressure that comes with these, you’ll find less and less time for your loved one. Things get hectic and eventually frustrating. You won’t be able to keep that flame alive even if you want to. And one day, you’ll come to realize that you have distanced yourself from your moment, even if you never wanted to. But it’d be too late. There’d be no going back.”

“I’d never distance myself from you! I mean, from my moment. I’ve been a king, and I know how taxing royal duties can be. Sometimes, it seemed like a luxury to get even a minute to myself.”

“See? So, how could you have found time for me?”

“I would have, darling. Not plenty, but whatever little time I’d have gathered, I’d have made them memorable. For you. For us. And maybe we could have gone on long rides occasionally. Rekindle the old flames? Or-or we could have gone on visits to other realms...for political reasons, of course, but could have taken the opportunity to spend a small vacation with each other. What do you say?”

Painfully tempting images of a life that could have been floated in her eyes.

“And what if we came back to Earth, and I got involved in...say, a job that was all hectic and left me all frustrated, and with little time for you?” She shrugged.

With a sigh, Loki shifted to face her fully. “We will take care of each other, (Y/N). If one gets low, the other pulls both up. And I know that together, we can do anything! I believe in you more than I believe in myself.”

She smiled brightly as she acknowledged, “That is...that sounds doable, yes.”

“You’re special,” he placed a hand on her cheek, “and you need to be treated in the most special manner. One that befits my queen.”

A moment passed between them as they looked into each other's eyes, both seeing the same beautiful picture.

His queen!

My queen!!

Wait, what is he...?

Damn! What am I doing! What will she...!

Loki cleared his throat as he abruptly pulled his hand back to his side.

“I’m sorry, I...”

“No, it’s okay,” she cringed at the way the words squeaked out of her. Clearing her throat, she continued, “We were just giving examples.”

“Yes, just examples,” he agreed.

“It’s fine! I understand.”

“Great! It’d have been quite...awkward...otherwise.”

“Oh no! It’s...uh...totally fine. We’re best buddies!” She gave his arm a light punch.

“Right!” He nodded, and focused his gaze on the floor.

After taking a minute to calm his heart, he wore his witty persona back.

“See, having a relationship is not at all tough. All you need is a good partner. And I’ve proved myself right again! No, wait. There’s something you mortals do. It’s...uh...about throwing something...”

“Goblets? We don’t do that. It’s you-”

“No, not throwing, it’s about dropping something...after you have proven a point...”

“...Mic drop?” She chuckled.

His eyes lit up.

“Yes! ‘Mic drop’. So, as I was saying, all you need to have a happy and successful relationship is a good partner. Mic drop!” He concluded as he mimicked the action.

She sighed. “There’s just one tiny problem. I’d probably never find the right person. The ones that flirt with me, don’t understand me, and the ones that understand me have friendzoned me.”

“I’ve never friendzoned you,” Loki quickly replied with a frown. “J-Just clarifying...in case you were talking about me.”

“Of course, I’m talking about you, you big oaf!” She flicked his arm.

“Hey! You friendzoned me.”

“No…? It was you! Well, yeah, I never tried to flirt with you or anything but...anybody could see that you were being just my friend.”

“I can say the same about you,” Loki playfully accused.

“Whatever,” she shrugged.

A thought started playing in her mind. And a couple of seconds later, she decided to say it aloud, “I...umm...Just curious...y’know, don’t take it in any other way. Did you ever think of flirting with me?” She put forward each word very cautiously.

Loki furrowed his brows, and opened his mouth to reply, but before he could, she warned him, “Be honest!”

Immediately, his confident attitude changed into a helpless one. “Yes, I did. Maybe once. Or twice. But that was all! I assure you!”

She could hardly contain the amusement that was bubbling inside.

“What’s so funny about it?” Loki asked with furrowed brows.

“Nothing,” she shook her head as she tried to hold back her laughter, “nothing at all. It’s,” and then she lost it, “I’m sorry! It’s funny! I don’t know why, I find it funny hearing from you!”

“Look who’s laughing!” He said wryly. “I could clearly hear your thoughts the first few days after I stepped into this structure. Every compliment that your little mind cooed at my divine persona. And may I dare say that not all of them were decent.”

Her hysterics were long forgotten as her face went red at the comment.

“How dare you invade my mind?” Her hand had balled into a fist, ready to hit his arm when he caught it.

“I didn’t invade it, darling. You were practically shouting inside that pretty head of yours. I could have heard it from the other side of the planet!”

“That was a long time ago,” she refused to meet his eyes. “I make better choices and better decisions now.”

“Do you?”

She opened her mouth to speak but closed it without uttering a syllable, and crossed her arms.

Loki nudged her with his elbow. “Hey, it’s fun to tease you. Don’t be a spoilsport.”

“I hate you,” she peeked at him through the corner of her eye.

“What can I say,” Loki sighed. “Alright, if you say so.”

She smirked as she glanced at him sideways.

Loki cleared his throat in a not-so-subtle manner. “So, the next time Stark throws a party, I’ll find someone for you.”

Immediately, she face-palmed, and groaned, “No.”

“What?”

“Please drop this topic. And you’d probably find me a psychopath, anyway” She joked.

“That hurt!” Loki exclaimed with a hurt look masking his humour, “do you think so little of me? Can’t I find a proper partner for my best friend, my darling?”

“No, it didn’t hurt. Don’t fake it. I know you better than anyone.”

“No, you don’t. You-”

“I do. And...I’m fine, Loki” she reassured him, “being with myself, with the people here, being with you.” She gently bumped her knee into his.

“Will these be enough?” His tone had left the playfulness behind. “Will I be enough? For all your life?”

She shrugged, “I think so. You...stick with me all the time, you understand me, you...make me feel good. What more could I want to be happy?”

“You know what more you are missing. A friend can never touch the boundaries of what a lover can give you.”

“I don’t need a lover. Just be with me all my life, and I won’t need anyone else.”

He gave her hand a light squeeze. “I will. I promise.”

Her playful smile was back. “Thanks for all the pep talk, my dearest God. But turns out that I’m better off alone. Now can we please go back to the game? It’s my turn to ask you.”

“Alright,” he smiled back, “if you say so.”

“Stop saying that!” A defeated sigh left her. “You won’t be convinced, will you?”

“Probably not. Because I know that this will gnaw at you again a few days later. I know you’ll be sad again. And that I won’t allow on my watch.”

“God!”

“Right here, listening to you!” Loki quipped.

Rolling her eyes, she muttered, ”Damn you!” And proceeded to put forward a proper argument.

“The reason why I’m avoiding a new relationship is because I don’t want another heartache. I can’t handle breakups. That’s why I’m...”

When Loki didn’t make another attempt at dissuading her from her arguments, she added, “I just...try everything to avoid a heartbreak. Because when I get one, I lose control over myself.”

“Yes, I’ve seen. Once.”

“Then you must have noticed how vicious I become. Sarcasm drips from my mouth all the time, I say things that I shouldn’t, I...I hurt people. And in turn, I hurt myself. I yell at those who want nothing but good for me. But...”

“But being mean seems to be the only way to mask the pain,” he finished her line.

“It does, yes!”

She looked at him, and into his eyes that silently spoke of the pain that was resurfacing. She remembered something.

“You and I are so...alike!”

He nodded with a smile. “And maybe that is why we understand each other more than anyone ever could. … But we’re more than just being alike, if you think about it.”

She noticed how his voice gradually rose from its usual calmness to an excited tone, and his hands moved with his words.

Loki continued, “You point out my mistakes but don’t accuse me like everyone else does. You show me what’s right. And there’s this-this thing about you, which is so scary...the way you make me do all the things that you want. I-I mean, I am the God here! But you…a mortal...how can you have so much power over me?”

He sighed as his voice dropped to a compassionate tone, “You make me happy, (Y/N). You’ve taught me to forgive when I can, to forget what I can’t fix.”

“Don’t always do that,” she interrupted with a smirk.

His evil smile made a brief appearance before he resumed his warm note, “I like being with you. No...I love being with you! You make me feel good. You make me feel...I don’t know.... You make me feel…”

“Complete?”

“Yes!” He observed her, “You complete me.”

For yet another time, silence enveloped them. The only difference was that this time, it was comfortable. Even in their hushed moments, they could hear each other, know what the other wanted to say.

After a while of exchanging quiet stares, (Y/N) spoke, “All this time I believed, but now I know for myself, that you are indeed Silvertongue!”

Loki looked at his lap and laughed, but in the pale light of the setting moon, she noticed the pink that had crept up his ears and cheeks.

“I meant every word of what I said,” he reassured her once again that evening.

“I know, Loki.”

Loki watched her as she shifted to a kneeling position, and leaned towards him. He felt his face becoming hotter as she supported herself on his shoulder with one hand, and placed a soft kiss on his cheekbone.

As she settled back, her lips tingled with the memory of Loki’s skin on it.

They had been best friends, yes, but she had never allowed herself more than a quick hug because she knew that Loki wasn’t someone open to random touches. And she wanted to respect that. Always.

But this peck felt right. It felt necessary. And it felt...different.

What happened next wasn’t guided by logic anymore, but only by their senses.

Loki put his legs back on the pouffe, and scooted a little closer to (Y/N). Taking the cue, she shifted so that her leg was stretched out, and back on the pouffe - not on hers but his - and sat close to him. He arranged the blanket so that it covered them both again.

Another stretch of silence enveloped them. To them, the moment was beautiful. To Loki, who had never experienced anything similar before, it was precious. If he could stop time, he would have done it right then and there.

“Why haven’t you found anyone yet?” She asked him.

“Royalty has its disadvantages,” he replied without taking a moment to think.

She leaned back slightly to get a good look at his face, “Didn’t you ever find anyone from the royal...uh...what do you call it? Of royal blood?”

Loki laughed at her naivety. “Can’t say I didn’t. But none of them were the one. Besides, most people chose my handsome brother over me. And if anyone chose me, well, it was mostly because of my royal title. None of them were real.”

“That’s awful! I would never have done that to you! I’d have chosen you for the wonderful being that you are. But, I get it; happens on our planet, too.”

“Everywhere,” he asserted.

“So...who do you think is the one for you?”

He looked down at her face, which was mere inches away from his. For the first time in months of their friendship, he felt something swell inside his chest at the closeness.

“I still don’t know,” he whispered, “but I think the Norns might have started giving me clues.”

He didn’t need to explain, obviously. All the tension that had been building up throughout the night had placed them both on the same page.

Without thinking, Loki moved his wrist so that his palm was facing the ceiling. And instinctively, (Y/N) placed her hand in it, their fingers closing around each other.

"It's odd," she announced after a while.

"Indeed."

"It's weird. I mean, what were we even thinking!" She huffed, although she was still clutching his hand, as was he holding hers.

"Exactly what I was thinking. You and me?” Loki laughed nervously, “Come on!"

"Yeah!"

"Right".

Silence, their faithful companion for the night, visited them once again.

"Could it be? You and me?" Loki’s voice was a little more than a whisper, and bordered on the edge of confidence and doubt.

"Doesn't sound so bad. Not after all these... Talks?" She whispered back.

"Right!"

"Right."

And once again, they fell quiet.

The strangeness of the moment pushed them both into a whirlpool of thoughts. From acquaintances to partners to friends to best friends to...lovers?

Can this even be possible? What if it’s just a passing phase? What if everything goes back to normal tomorrow? Will we still be able to talk normally? But… This feels right. Just...right.

With a sigh, (Y/N) put her head on Loki’s shoulder.

"I don't want to rush into anything and ruin what we have," she confessed in a hushed tone, eyes staring into the night outside.

"Neither do I. You're the only one I have."

With a raised brow, she looked up at him.

"And Thor," he corrected himself with a small smile.

"Glad you remember him "

"Shut up.

Slowly, hesitantly, Loki put his free hand around her. Unsure of the appropriateness of the action, he kept his arm loosely hanging around her frame.

He waited for a while. Had Loki looked at her face, instead of looking straight ahead in fear, he would have noticed the small smile that had formed on her lips.

When she didn’t flinch or protest, he began to rest his arm properly but gently on her. He even went ahead and made the slightest possible effort to pull her closer to him.

The smile that had started forming on her now spread wide enough to turn into a grin. Its reflection was found on Loki’s face, too, who could finally muster the courage to look at her, although he was equally worried that she would be able to hear his heart trying to hammer its way out of his chest.

With every minute that passed, Loki became more baffled, for he couldn’t decide which moment he’d frame and hang on the wall of his heart as the most precious one.

"Are you feeling hot?" She asked without looking at him.

"A bit, yes. You, too?"

"Quite a bit, actually," she gulped.

"Is it normal?"

"I guess, yes. Totally! Had we been cool about it, it'd have meant that there's no spark between us. It’d have felt awkward, wrong."

"So, you agree that there's a spark between us?" He didn’t even attempt to hide the mischievous smirk that shone on his face.

"I had always suspected," she nodded.

"Hmm. When was the last time we went out for dinner?" He asked.

“Probably last month...or was it-”

(Y/N)’s head snapped up to look at him. She could barely put a lid on her excitement.

"Are you proposing to take me out on a date?"

"Well, if we are going to do this, then I'd like to court you properly."

She felt like she'd burst out of sheer excitement.

"If you'd agree to it, that is" Loki clarified.

Taking a large breath, she replied, "I'd love it."

The night was going better than either had expected. Who would have thought that a game of weird questions and a few confessions could change their lives!

(Y/N) put her head back on his shoulder, and let her body slump against him. He held her confidently this time.

“It still feels weird though,” she declared.

“It does, yes, but...maybe this is...right?” In a long time, Loki was hopeful about something, and he wasn’t going to let it slip away. No.

“I hope so.”

“Me, too.”

“Just so you know,” she sat up straight, “Thor is handsome, yes, but you are devilishly charming. You’re intelligent, well-read, witty, sarcastic, great at combat...uh...”

“Go on,” Loki smirked, earning a playful glare from her.

“You are,” she continued, “seductive! And who can resist a sorcerer who knows his way around everything!”

The evil smile that Loki had put away found its way back on his face. “As far as I remember, I did nothing to seduce you. I wonder what will happen if I try...”

“Shut up, Loki! You know I give away raw compliments. I didn’t really mean...I didn’t think...”

He laughed heartily at the furious way she was blushing.

“I was only pulling your leg. I had imagined you to be wise,” he clarified.

“I am! It’s just... I was...” She shook her head.

“So,” Loki resumed, “you think I’m devilishly charming?”

“Drop the topic, please!”

“You can’t resist my sorcery, ha?”

“Please change the topic! Forget what I said!!”

Loki laughed as he continued teasing her. It wasn’t going to be an easy ride, she realized, with the God of Mischief, but it was going to be the best ever!

“(Y/N)?”

“Hmm?”

“I know it was your turn to ask but, what if...you and I are indeed meant to be together?”

She smiled as she rubbed her cheek on his shirt, “I think we’ll have a gorgeous future together. And...I’d love that more than anything else.”

---------------------

The next morning...

“Morning, Wanda-”

“Shh! Shh!!” The red-haired witch silenced Natasha, and pointed towards the couch.

Curious, Natasha’s eyes followed the direction that Wanda’s finger was pointing at.

There, snuggled in a blanket, fast asleep, sat (Y/N) and Loki, their legs spread on a pouffe, tangled with each other’s. Loki’s arm was wrapped around her shoulder while she was holding his waist. Her head lay on his chest and his on hers.

“Aren’t they cute?” Wanda whispered.

Before Nat could reply, Tony’s voice cut the conversation.

“Who’s cute?”

This time, both the ladies shushed him, leaving a perplexed expression on his once sleepy face.

When they pointed towards the couch, Tony huffed, “These two! God knows what’s taking them so long to realise! They’re just so-” His face lit up. “Know what? I have an idea! I’ll make them confess. Who’s up for it?”

***

Now has a sequel: Their Little Secret

And...a song for keeping the feelings floating...💕

[oikadori]

First off i really like your work thank you so much for making them, stay safe. And stay hydrated... This is my first time requesting. Ummmm can you please do osamu, sakusa and kenma. Like after the timeskip and the wife is on vacations and they were the one who take cares of the kids for the time being and they leave the lil demon for a moment and he/she destroyed the whole house and their wife is coming home any moment. I wanna know what their reaction and action will be. Thank you.

REACTING TO THEIR CHILD MAKING A MESS OF THEIR HOME WHILE YOU ARE AWAY

⇢ includes: osamu, sakusa , kenma,  

⇢ genre // warnings: fluff , f!reader // swears, dad!sakusa gets kinda mad but then all is good. 

⇢ wc~ 0,9K

a/n: this is so sweet ?? pleasee thank you for requesting nonnie !!hope u like these. special thanks to @hvnlydmn who helped me figure out how i wanted to do these! ILY AINS <33 kithes

reblogs are highly appreciated :)

“Daddy!!”

Two pairs of big grey eyes peak from the couch in Osamu’s direction. His sleepy eyes adjusting to the light, unwrapping the chaos his living room has turned into.

Your twins are sitting comfortably on the couch, both of their mouths full of candies and their faces painted with red jelly, the same jelly that is now on the kitchen floor. Snacks are smeared all over the place and the couch is full of crumbs, but the little kids are wearing happy smiles.

“Daddy just went to sleep for fifteen minutes ‘cause he was tired and this is how you are gonna greet mommy when she’s back?”

Osamu’s tone is rather playful than harsh, he doesn’t have the heart to put on his serious face when your kids are smiling at him with those puffy cheeks. He breathes heavily, walking towards them, stopping right in front of the TV to catch their  attention.

“So, which one of ya is gonna help me clean this?”, he crosses his arms over his beefy chest as the little girl and the little boy blink at his words.

“He!” “She!”

They point at the other, looking up at your husband, who’s lips curve into a smile, the scene feeling familiar to him bringing back a piece of his childhood with Atsumu.

“Right…” a deep chuckle leaves his throat as he kneels between them, taking a napkin out, “But first I’ll have to get ya both clean”

He grabs your daughter’s cheek, earning a girly giggle out of her when he whipped away the jelly from her chin. Osamu freezes, feeling his phone buzzing in his pocket.

I’ll be there in 5!!! Love you !

He reads the message in slow motion as his son drops some more candies onto the floor and his daughter puts more sweets into her mouth. Osamu locks eyes with the two kids, fear printed in his face.

“Yer mom is gonna kill me”

“What…What happened?”

Sakusa says, almost dropping the towel he was using to dry off his dark, wet curls as he stares at the scene in front of him. The walls of the hall are covered with lines and figures and your daughter is standing proud next to it.

“LOOK, DADDY!“. The little girl points with her chubby fingers at the walls showing off her artistic skills to her dad but Sakusa’s face is pale. He moves towards her with his brows furrowed, her smile slowly fading.

“Y-you didn’t like it?”

“It’s not that… but good kids don’t draw on the walls while their dads are taking a shower!”, he points at the drawings, noticing her daughter’s dress stained with yellow, “―and you’ve ruined your dress!”

He doesn’t notice the harshness in his voice until he hears a little sniffle. Sakusa blinks, founding a big pout taking over his daughter’s face, making his breath hitch in his throat.

“I-I just wanted to give mommy a surprise”

She looks at the floor, playing with her fingers and Sakusa’s heart drops to the ground. His eyes soften instantly and he bends down, caressing the top of her head and holding her small hand in his.

“ Hey, I’m sorry love, daddy it’s just a bit tired and he misses mommy too” He thumbs her daughter’s cheek before tracing the yellow spot on her dress with his fingers “let’s change you into some clean clothes, okay angel?”

Your daughter nods eagerly, putting a grin on Sakusa’s lips.

“That’s my perfect girl!” Your daughter smiles again as he picks her up easily from the floor, kissing her cheek in his way to her room but the click the key makes with the door causes both of them to still, looking at each other with wide eyes.

“ it's mom!” she yells with the biggest smile on her face, stealing a chuckle from the spiker.

“Yeah, I’m excited to see her too.”

“Sorry, I’ll be back in 5. I have to check upon a little something of mine”

Kenma says with a soft grin before taking off his headsets and stopping his stream. He heads to his son’s room when a loud thud makes him freeze in the spot. He trips in his way to the living room, finding your big, flat screen Tv laying on the floor.

“shit“ he curses under his breath, his cat-like eyes widening as he spots his kid standing with an innocent face next to the TV.

“Mmh, I guess this is the part where I scold you….” Kenma hides his hands in his pockets, thinking about his next words. Your son moves towards him, stopping right in front of him to hold his hoodie, pulling the fabric to catch his attention.

“Can you play with me now, daddy?” Kenma’s amber eyes widen and his lips curl into a grin.

“So, you destroyed the living room to call daddy’s attention?”, your child nods, embarrassed, and Kenma tilts his head.

“I’m sorry daddy”

“I guess―if you know it was wrong, we are all good, bubs” Kenma whispers, patting his head and hugging him lightly, “but you mommy isn’t as cool as your daddy”

He grins devilish at his son when a familiar ringtone fills the room. Your son quickly unwraps your husband’s waist to pick up his tablet, a picture of you popping on the screen

Your son looks at his dad in fear and Kenma ruffles his dark hair with calm eyes before grabbing the device to answer the call. He giggles at the way your eyes seem to fall from your face when you catch a glimpse of your living room.

“Kenma…What―”

He takes out his wallet, sighing softly before giving you a cocky grin from across the screen.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll buy you a new living room.”

TO JOIN MY TAGLIST, FILL THE FORM HERE  ♡

TAGLIST :  @sazunari @hajiswife @oikadiors @arrogantsonofabiscuit @wak4tosh1 @asteroid-babe @kenmaki @kouffee-ink @mjoork @tobiosbbyghorl @evelynn27 @akkeyomi @devilgirlcrybabiey @ilovecheese08 @realityisabitch-blr @itsmeaudrieee

[tricksters-captain]

Bucky Barnes imagines - Some Sunny Day Part 2

AN: I’m splitting episode 3 into two chapters because so much happens. 

Summary: Before the Blip, you and Bucky were close. After you both returning and Tony’s funeral, you decided to go back to your home town to spend time with your family. When duty calls, you return.  

In this chapter: Despite your protests, Bucky seeks out Zemo (Based on S1 EP3)

(PART 1 HERE)

Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Sam Wilson x Platonic!Reader

Word Count: 5,196

Warnings: Spoilers for episode 3, violence, strong language. 

You watched Bucky as he sat beside you on the aircraft. 

“Do you mind?” Bucky’s side eye didn’t make you look away. 

“I’m just trying to see what’s going through that head of yours.” You confessed. You were all on your way to Germany to visit Zemo. It wasn’t a plan you were happy with but it was the plan. 

“Don’t bother.” Bucky frowned, looking down at his hands on his lap. “And don’t ask me if I think this is a good idea again.” 

“I wasn’t going to ask that.” You turned away from the man.

“What was it then?” Bucky asked. 

“I was going to ask if you were sure you wanted to do this.” It was another question you had already asked 20 times or more but you couldn’t shake the overwhelming feeling of anxiety about this trip. 

“She has a right to be worried, Buck. The last time you were alone with Zemo, you ended up putting (Y/n) through three windows.” Sam reminded you both of what happened the last time you were in Berlin. 

“It won’t happen this time.” Bucky tried to reassure you both but you still felt uneasy. 

After another hour or so Sam announced that you were almost there. 

It was a short drive to the prison from the airport but once you were inside, you felt your chest begin to tighten again. 

“He’s just through that corridor.” The German guard gestured up ahead and that’s when Bucky stopped you. 

“Alright. Give us a sec.” Bucky instructed the security guard before turning to you and Sam. “I’m gonna go in alone.”

“Why?” Sam asked, 

“You’re Avengers. You know how he feels about that.” Bucky said as he looked between the two of you. 

“It’s not like you two were known for frolickin’ in the sun together.” Sam felt he needed to remind Bucky of the past again. However, Bucky stood his ground. 

“He was obsessed with HYDRA. We have a history together. Trust me. I got it.” 

“Buck...” You started, 

“I got it.” He repeated himself before you could say anything else. 

You watched Bucky head through the doors alone. 

“Let’s wait outside. This place gives me the creeps.” Sam encouraged you to follow him to which you didn’t do without hesitation. 

Sam brought you a hot drink as you sat on a bench outside. 

“I forgot how worried he can make you.” Sam admitted as he sat down beside you.

“I’ve seen what he went through, Sam. All of it leading up to Zemo. I just... I don’t want it happening to him again.” You knew you couldn’t explain the extent of why you cared for Bucky. 

“You love him.” Sam said. It wasn’t a question but rather a statement. “I can see it clear as day. Anyone could if they stuck around long enough.” 

“Why are you bringing this up, Sam?” You sighed, looking away from him. 

“Because it’s also obvious that he loves you too. You run around driving each other crazy with worry but you have none of the good stuff that comes with being in love with someone.” 

“What do you know about love, Don Juan?” You chuckled as you tried to lighten the tone.

“I know it when I see it.” Sam smiled but there was a sadness behind his eyes. 

“Things are complicated, Sam.” You muttered, “You already know that.” 

“Well I also think that if Bucky got some he’d be a whole lot less angsty all the damn time.” You knew Sam only said it to make you laugh but you still gave him a whack for the comment. 

“Shut up, Sam.” You shook your head, trying not to smile at the inappropriate comment. 

Sam kept you entertained by a couple of silly games of rock, paper, scissors before Bucky returned. 

“Come on, I got some information. We gotta go.” Bucky hurried you and Sam along. 

“Just like that?” You were surprised that Zemo even spoke to Bucky at all. 

“A location. I’ll explain everything once we get there.” Bucky wasn’t giving you much information and it was making you a little suspicious. 

“Hey, hey, hey...” Sam ran after Bucky, stopping him. “You gotta give us a little more than that.”

“Zemo agreed to help us after hearing that there were more super soldiers. It was his life ambition to stop the winter soldier programme and he’s given us a lead.” Bucky explained. 

“And you’re just gonna trust his word?” You probed. 

“There’s not much else we can do.” Bucky did make a point. 

It didn’t take long to reach the large warehouse/garage that Bucky wanted to go to. 

Bucky on the way had started rambling about breaking Zemo out of jail in order to help you guys which sounded ridiculous to you. 

“Tell me you’re joking, Buck.” You pleaded, unsure whether he had lost his mind entirely. 

“He’s our best shot at finding who is making the serum and he’d be a lot more useful out than in.” Bucky opened the door to the building and you followed him inside.

“What are you talking about? You wanna break Zemo outta jail? Where are we, Buck? Have you lost your mind?” Sam was just as lost as you were as he shot questions at Bucky. 

“We have no leads, no moves, nothing.” Bucky sighed as you made your way in with your flashlights. 

“What we have is one of the most dangerous men in the world behind bars.” Sam argued. 

“We also have eight Super Soldiers that are loose.” Bucky retorted. 

“Anyway, I thought this was a lead?” You tried to look around but the place was badly lit. There were mainly mechanic tools and lots of storage scattered around. 

“It’s complicated.” Bucky frowned.

“What’s complicated is Zemo. He’s gonna mess with our minds. Especially yours. No offence.” Sam shone his flashlight at Bucky as he spoke. 

“Offence.” Bucky didn’t look impressed as he found the light switch. “Super Soldiers go against everything he believes in. He is crazy, but he still has a code.” 

“I’ve been on the wrong side of that code and so have you. He blew up the UN, he killed King T’Chaka and framed you for it. Did you forget that? You think the Wakandans forgot about it? It’s a rhetorical question. They didn’t. I know why this matters to you, but it’s pushing you off the deep end.” Sam stepped closer to Bucky. You couldn’t deny that Sam had a point. Zemo was the one who tore the avengers apart by framing Bucky.  “We don’t know how they’re gettin’ the serum. We don’t even know how many of them there are.” Bucky couldn’t give up. “Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I?”

“What did you do?” Sam narrowed his eyes at Bucky. 

You were busy looking inside the car that was revealed by the lights coming on. 

“I didn’t do anything.” Bucky shook his head before he continued with his ‘hypothetical’. 

“The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element. Now, in this lockup, it’s nine to one, prisoners to guards. And if two prisoners start fighting, then the protocol says four guards have to respond.”

“So why would two prisoners randomly start fighting at that moment? Who knows?” Sam questioned. 

“There could be many reasons…” Bucky shrugged. “But the point is, these things escalate. Lockdown procedures would have to be initiated, and with all those bodies flying around left and right, wouldn’t be hard to slip down a hallway or two.

At this point, you stopped looking around and looked over at Bucky with your arms across your chest. You weren’t liking how thought out this plan was sounding. 

“And if the fire alarm got tripped while the prisoners were being separated someone could use the chaos to their advantage.” Bucky continued. 

“I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this. This is unnatural. Are you… And where are we, man?” Sam gestured around the place with confusion locked on his face. 

“Bucky, I’m with Sam on this one. I’ve got a bad feeling and–––” A door opening behind you cut you short. 

You turned around to see Zemo walk through the plastic door curtains. 

“Woah, woah, woah!” Sam jumped forward instructively. Bucky managed to stop him but he didn't stop you. 

You rushed towards Zemo and held the tip of one of your knives to his Adams apple as he held his hands up. 

“What are you doing here?” Sam shouted at Zemo before snapping back to Bucky.

“I didn’t tell ’cause I knew you wouldn’t let this happen.” Bucky admitted. 

“What did you do?” Sam pointed at Zemo in shock.

“We need him.” Bucky stated to which you chuckled harshly, pressing your knife a little harder. 

“You’re going back to prison!” Sam called over. 

“If I may..? “ Zemo tried to speak but you all shut him up with a unanimous ‘No.’

“Apologies.” Zemo mumbled. 

“(Y/n), put the knife down.” Bucky came towards you and wrapped his hand round your wrist. “Please?” 

You did. Slowly. 

“Look, when Steve refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, you both backed him. You broke the law, and you stuck your neck out for me. I’m asking you to do it again.” Bucky looked back and forth from you to Sam. 

“I really think I’m invaluable.” Zemo spoke again. 

��Shut up.” You rose the knife again to which Zemo took a step back and pretended to zip his mouth shut. 

“Okay.” Sam sighed after a moment of contemplation. “If we do this, you don’t make a move without our permission.”

“Fair.” Zemo nodded. 

“Bucky... You understand what this means right? If they find out we took Zemo, specifically you. We’ll be on the run again and I don’t know if there will be a pardon this time either.” The concern in your eyes made Bucky frown. 

“It’ll be alright. He's the only shot we got to stop these guys.” Bucky wasn’t sure if he believed his own words but he was praying that this was the best thing to do. 

“Alright.” You turned to Zemo. “So where do we start?”

Zemo gestured for you to follow him before taking you into another dark room. You kept your knife in your hand just in case.

He reached for the light switch to reveal a mass of classic cars. 

“So our first move is grand theft auto?” Sam cocked his eyebrow at the impressive collection.  

“These are mine. Collected by family over the generations. I spent years hunting people HYDRA recruited to recreate the serum. Because once it’s out there, someone can create an army of people… like the Avengers.”  Zemo entered one of the cars and pulled out a bag. “I ended the Winter Soldier program once before. I have no intention to leave my work unfinished. To do this, we’ll have to scale a ladder of lowlifes.”

“Well, join the party. We’ve already started.” Sam told the man.

“First stop is a woman named Selby. Mid-level fence I still have a line on. From there, we climb.” Zemo took his bag and headed into another room. 

“Jesus... How big is this place?” You looked around to see it was full of clothes. 

“First I change and then we head to Selby.” Zemo placed the bag down before filing through one if the rails of clothes. 

“How are we supposed to get anywhere with Zemo on our hands? We can’t exactly call Torres and ask for a ride but please ignore the fugitive that’s coming with us.” You looked between the boys. 

“I will get us there.” Zemo told you. 

“Great.” You pressed a fake smile onto your face which Zemo chose not to acknowledge.

Before you knew it you were at the airport at Zemo’s private jet.

“So all this time you’ve been rich?” Sam’s eyes went wide at the sight of the plane.

“I’m a Baron, Sam. My family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country.” Zemo spoke as if it was well known information. You felt a pang hit you in the chest, it happened every time you thought of Sokovia... it was guilt. 

You watched Zemo greet an elderly man in a suit before you entered the jet. 

You sat furtherest away from Zemo, still feeling very uncomfortable about him being free and under your custody. 

You watched him sip on a glass of champagne like he had no worries in the world. 

“You don’t know what it’s like to be locked in a cell. Oh. That’s right you do.” Zemo reminded you of the time Tony had locked a lot of the avengers up. 

“Why don’t you tell us about where we’re going?” Sam suggested. 

 “I’m sorry. I was just fascinated by this. I don’t know what to call it, but this part seems to be important. Who is Nakajima?” 

Before you could blink, Bucky had lunged forward and taken Zemo by the neck.  

“If you touch that again, I’ll kill you.” Bucky kept hold of Zemo for a second longer before sitting back down. You had fought the urge to get up and take hold of his arm to calm him down.  

"I’m sorry. I understand that list of names. People you’ve wronged as the Winter Soldier.” Zemo made no attempt at a sincere apology for the invasion of privacy.  

“Don’t push it.”  Bucky warned him.

“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What’d you think?” Sam smiled as he thought back on the memory. 

“I like ’40s music, so…” Bucky shrugged. 

“You didn’t like it?” Sam seemed more shock to hear this than when he saw Zemo. 

“I liked it.” Bucky proclaimed. 

“It is a masterpiece, James. Complete. Comprehensive. It captures the African-American experience.” Even Zemo had to get involved. 

“He’s out of line, but he’s right. It’s great. Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.” Sam turned back to Bucky after giving side eye to Zemo. 

“I like Marvin Gaye.” Bucky repeated. 

“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.” Sam couldn’t drop it but you didn’t bother getting involved. 

You looked at the book in Bucky’s hands. You knew Steve had given it to him before but seeing it again after all this time brought up a hundred thoughts. You remembered the many things you had told Steve to watch or eat or listen to like ABBA, Mochi ice cream and pranking him by suggesting the twilight movie as must see. 

“You must have really looked up to Steve.” Zemo mentioning Steve made you look up again. “But I realised something when I met him. The danger with people like him, America’s Super Soldiers, is that we put them on pedestals.”

“Watch your step, Zemo.” Sam warned him. 

“They become symbols. Icons. And then we start to forget about their flaws. From there, cities fly, innocent people die. Movements are formed, wars are fought. You remember that, right?” Zemo looked over at Bucky. “As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad icon. Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull? That is why we’re going to Madripoor.” 

“What’s up with Madripoor? You talk about it like it’s Skull Island.” Sam asked but you already knew of Madripoor. Anyone with links to the underworld of crime knew of Madripoor. 

“It’s an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago. It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s.” Bucky informed him. 

“It’s kept its lawless ways. But we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves. James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.” Zemo looked down at his duffel bag of clothes that you had watched him pack before.

“What do you mean by that?” You finally chimed into the conversation. 

“James will have to retake the person of the Winter Soldier. You both will have a role to play also.” Zemo explained, turning to face you as you sat in the chair by the back wall of the jet. 

“Bucky, can I speak to you privately?” You looked past Zemo to Bucky. Bucky gave you a look to ask where would you go so you stood and opened the cabin toilets door. 

Bucky huffed before following you in.

“Bucky I’m not okay with this.” You whispered as you pressed yourself up against the wall so you could try and fit both you and Bucky a little more comfortably. 

“This isn’t up to you.” Bucky sighed. 

 “Everything about this situation is making every nerve in my body scream this is a bad idea.” You folded your arms across your chest as you stared up at Bucky. 

“How many times do I have to tell you that this is the only plan we got?” 

“I don’t trust him.” You kept your voice low as you threw your hand up in the direction of the door. 

“Do you trust me?” Bucky asked. 

“I’m starting to question it.” You muttered. 

Bucky just stared at you in response. 

“Yes, I trust you.” You grumbled, caving in. 

“Anyway I have you if things go bad.” Bucky tried to make light of the situation but you weren't impressed. 

You left the bathroom and remained silent until you drew closer to Madripoor. 

Upon your arrival in Madripoor, you were handed some clothes to change into. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me?” You held up the small material dress that you were meant to wear. 

“I had to choose a disguise that would cover your face. Too many people here would know you from your days before the avengers and after.” Zemo defended his choice of ‘costume’ for you. 

“So I’m assassin barbie?” You scoffed before taking to the bathroom to change. 

You slid on the black leather playsuit and boots, along with the mask that Zemo gave you. 

You felt exposed and uncomfortable. You managed to hide a few knives in your boots and you slid on a thigh holster to hold some more to make you feel like you were protected at least. 

“Loose the knives.” Zemo instructed. 

“Are you serious?” You were growing more agitated by the minute with this man. 

“You are playing an escort. You can’t have knives on show.” Zemo pointed to your holster. 

You bit down on your cheek as you removed it. 

“Fine.” You then left the plane to Sam and Bucky waiting outside. Bucky’s eyes went wide at the sight of you but he tried to hide it by clearing his throat and looking away. 

“We have to fix this. I’m the only one who looks like a pimp.” Sam was wearing a red patterned suit and chains. He didn’t look too bad in it either.

“Only an American would assume a fashion-forward Black man looks like a pimp. You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.” Zemo handed Sam his phone revealing a picture of Conrad Mack.

“He even has a bad nickname. Hell, he does look like me, though.” Sam took the phone and looked down at the picture. 

“(Y/n) is playing your partner for the night. Conrad is known for his appreciation for the finer things in life and often has a woman on his arm Therefore, (Y/n), you must be attached to Sam’s hip the entire night.” Zemo filled you all in on the reason behind your disguise. 

“Excuse me, what?” Bucky almost choked at the idea of you having to be Sam’s woman for the night. 

“Well it is the only disguise that makes sense. She can’t be your girlfriend as you are the Winter Soldier. She can’t be mine as everyone knows I am loyal to my wife. She has to be the smiling tigers current whore.” 

“Watch your mouth.” Bucky hissed. 

“We all must play a part.” Zemo defended his choice of words. “You smell this?”

“Yeah, what is that? Acid?” Sam asked. 

“Madripoor. No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. Our lives depend on it. There’s no margin for error. High Town’s that way. Not a bad place if you wanna visit, but Low Town’s the other way.” Zemo gestured across the city as a car approached you all. 

“Let me guess. We don’t have any friends in High Town.” You sighed as Zemo opened the car door for you. 

“Not if we want the answers we are looking for.” Zemo climbed into the car after you and then the boys followed. 

It didn't take too long to find the way to low town. You had been to Madripoor before but it had been years ago. 

You did as you were ordered when you all exited Zemo’s car. You stuck by Sam, walking in the middle of Sam and Bucky. 

The air wasn’t cold but it felt thick, you could feel it sticking to your bare skin which gave you the desperate urge to take a long shower. 

“Here we are.” Zemo had brought you to a bar. It was busy and filled with a lot of men.  

“Ready to comply, Winter Soldier?” You heard Zemo ask Bucky in Russian. 

You heard whispers around you questioning if Bucky was who everyone thought he was. It made your gut clench with nerves but you didn’t let it show. 

“Hello, gentlemen. Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.” The bartender greeted Sam and Zemo but barely brushed a glance over you.

“His plans changed. We have business to do with Selby.” Zemo spoke for Sam. You then felt Sam wrap his arm around your waist. You leaned into him, batting your eyelashes first at Sam and then the bartender. 

“The usual?” The bartender asked Sam. He nodded, afraid that if he spoke then it would give away the facade. 

You were thankful you were wearing a face mask when you saw the drink made for the Smiling Tiger. You grimaced at the dead snake being cut open and then again when one of its organs was dropped into Sam’s shot. 

“Ah, Smiling Tiger. Your favourite.” Zemo picked up his own drink as he looked down at Sam’s. 

“I love these.” Sam forced himself to speak. 

“Cheers, Conrad.” Zemo and Sam touched glasses before Sam hesitantly shot back the drink. You could tell Bucky enjoyed watching that. 

“I got word from on high. You ain’t welcome here.” A man suddenly approached from behind and tapped Zemo on the shoulder. You felt Sam’s grip on you tighten protectively. 

“I have no business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come and talk to me...” Zemo held his hand out to show his new bodyguard. 

“New haircut?” The stranger looked Bucky up and down. 

“Or bring Selby for a chat.” Zemo gave him the other option. The man retreated. 

“A power broker? Really?” Bucky spoke once the stranger had left.

“Every kingdom needs its king. Let’s just pray we stay under his radar.”

“Do you know him?” Sam asked. 

“Only by reputation.” Zemo admitted honestly.

“In Madripoor he is judge, jury, and executioner. You can’t visit low town without appearing on his radar.” You spoke up as you let yourself look around the room and take in just how many threats were around. 

“And you know this why?” Sam looked down at you. He must've forgotten your past. 

“I was a free agent before the Avengers. I've been here undercover a few times especially when I was a young teenager. Surprise Surprise evil guys like little girls.” You kept quiet in case anyone around was listening. 

Zemo suddenly spoke a command for Bucky in Russian once again and that’s when another stranger put his hands on Zemo. 

You watched Bucky follow orders and he didn’t hold back. 

He grabbed hold of the strangers wrist and pulled him off Zemo before attacking him and several others around. 

You took notice of those around with their phones out. Cameras...

You went to step forward when you felt Sam squeeze your side. He gave you a look that told you no. 

“Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form.” Zemo muttered to you and Sam. You wanted to punch him. 

Bucky slammed another man onto the bar and that’s when you heard the wave of guns cocking. 

Sam took hold of Bucky’s arm when Zemo told him to stay in character. 

Instead Zemo told Bucky to stand down once you were informed you could see Selby. 

Sam took hold of you hand and dragged you along side him as you all left the bar. 

“She isn’t welcome.” One of the guards stopped you before you could enter the room. 

“Excuse me?” Sam scoffed at the guard. “She’s with me and so she is welcome.” 

“Let her in!” You heard an English accent call from ahead. 

“You should know, Baron. People don’t just come into my bar and make demands.” Selby was an older woman with a white pixie cut and a sly grin. Sam remained stood and so did Bucky but Sam had commanded you to take a seat next to Zemo. 

“Not a demand. An offer.” Zemo was impressing you by how cool he was playing this. It also worried you. 

“A lot has changed since you were here last. By the way, I thought you were rotting away in a German prison. How did you escape?“ Selby asked. 

“People like us always find a way, don’t we? I’m sure you’ve already figured out what I’m here for.”

“You’re taller than I’d heard, Smiling Tiger.” Selby ignored Zemo as she eyed up Sam.” What’s the offer?”

“Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum. And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want.”Zemo had risen from his seat and held Bucky by the chin. 

“Now that’s the Zemo I remember. I’m glad I decided not to kill you immediately. Yeah, you were right to come to me. Arrogant, but right. The super-soldier serum is here in Madripoor. Dr. Wilfred Nagel is the man you wanna thank...Or condemn, depending on what side of this you’re on. The Power Broker had him working on the serum, but… things didn’t go as planned.” Selby fed you what she knew. 

“Is Nagel still in Madripoor?” Zemo questioned. 

“Oh. The bread crumbs you can have for free, but the bakery is gonna cost you, Baron. And before you get all cute, don’t think you can find Nagel without me.” Selby pushed herself from her seat and walked across the room. 

That’s when Sam’s mobile went off. 

“Answer it. On speaker.” Selby ordered. The gun behind Sam made him pull out his phone. 

“Hello?” He answered. 

“Hey, um, we need to talk about this situation. It’s been drivin’ me nuts.” A woman’s voice came through. 

“What situation exactly are you talkin’ about?” Sam tried his best to keep up his persona. 

“Are you high? You know what situation, it’s the only situation me and you have.” The woman’s attitude was not helping Sam’s case. 

“What situation, Sarah? Say it.” Sam demanded. 

“The damn boat. And watch your tone. Okay? I let you slide at the bank.” Sarah snapped back. 

“The bank. Yeah. Laundered so much...” Sam chuckled. “Yeah, they’ll come around.”

“If that was the case, then why’d they dog you out, Big Time?” Sarah asked. 

“Yeah, you damn right I’m Big Time. You’ll see when I have that banker killed.” Sam tried to seem intimidating but at that moment you knew you were screwed. You reached down into your boot to take a knife just in case. 

“Cass! What’d I tell you about the Cheerios? I don’t have time for this! Sam, I’m sorry. I’ll call you back.” Sarah had used Sam’s name and that was the end of it. 

“Sam? Who’s Sam?” Selby looked pissed. “Kill them!” She ordered but before her hired men could react, a bullet came through the window and shot Selby down. 

You snatched two knives from your boot and sent them into the guard behind Sam. 

Bucky immediately reacted with taking out the other guard. 

“They’re gonna pin this on us.” You took the knives from the body as the boys took the guns. 

“We have a real problem now, so leave your weapons and follow my lead.” Zemo’s order made the boys put their guns down but you just wiped your knives and placed them back in your boot. 

You left the club in a hurry. Text chimes went off around you and you knew the power broker had seen what happened. 

You were well and truly fucked. 

“This is not good.” Zemo’s last words before the shooting started. 

You took off alongside Bucky and Sam, cursing the fact that Zemo had put you in the most uncomfortable shoes on the planet. 

“I can’t run in these heels!” Sam shouted which almost made you laugh. 

“Down here!” You took a turn into an alley to get off the road as two mopeds appeared behind you. 

Before you could spin around to fight, a shooter had taken them out. 

“You seem to have a guardian angel.” Zemo looked just. as confused you felt. You weren’t aware you knew anyone who was in Madripoor at the moment. 

“Well, this is too perfect. Drop it, Zemo.” A familiar face soon revealed itself from the shadows. 

“Sharon?” Sam furrowed his brow at the woman. 

“You cost me everything.” Sharon ignore Sam as she spoke to Zemo. 

“Sharon, wait. Someone recreated the super-soldier serum and Zemo had a lead.” Sam stepped ahead of Zemo to protest him. 

“That explains why you guys are here. And Selby’s dead.”Sharon glowered at the four of you. 

“So what are you doing here?” Bucky asked the question on everyones mind. 

“I stole Steve’s shield, remember? I also took the wings for your ass, so that you could save him from him. I didn’t have the Avengers to back me up. So I’m off the grid in Madripoor.” Sharon informed you.

“Don’t blow smoke. Both (Y/n) and I were on the run, too.” Sam didn't bother with feeling pity. 

“Was. Is. Big difference. I don’t speak to my family anymore. I can’t. My own father doesn’t know where I am.” Sharon shot back. 

“Listen, Sharon, we need your help.” Bucky interrupted her before she could say anything else.  

“Please.” You added. You and Sharon were friendly for a time before the world went to hell. You figured she’d help you at least. 

“This isn’t over. I have a place in High Town. You’ll be safe there for a while.” Sharon sighed, giving in and lowering her gun. 

“Thank you.” You pressed a small smile onto your face but Sharon didn’t reciprocate. 

She managed to get you to a car safely and you headed out of low town for the night. 

(PART 3 HERE)

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Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

chapter three - Chapter Four: Madripoor - chapter five

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n, Sam and Bucky pay an eventful visit to Helmut Zemo in Berlin, heading to Madripoor soon after to get answers about the serum.

Word Count: 7.4k

Warnings: spoilers for episode.3, angst, violence, description of injuries, a few crumbs for the slow burn, breaking the law and looking good doing it

A/N: These chapters always end up being so long lol. I was going to include the nightclub scene but it would’ve made it too long so sorry, it’ll have to wait a few more days. Forgive my shitty Russian translations, I’m on Google Translate and that’s not saying a lot. 

----

“Not that it makes a difference, but I still don’t like this.” I’d voiced my displeasure about meeting with Zemo several times since we’d arrived in Germany. Even though we were already being led through the high security Berlin prison hallways, I still felt the urge to state my opinion. 

The guard that was guiding us gestured towards a door, “He’s just through the corridor.”

“Give us a sec,” Bucky said, the three of us coming to a halt in the middle of the hall. “I’m gonna go in alone.” “Why?” Sam asked.

“You’re an Avenger, you know how he feels about that,” Bucky looked to me, “You, I’m trying to keep as far away from him as possible.”

“It’s not like you two were known for frolickin’ in the sun together,” Sam remarked.

“I’m gonna say it again,” I took an assertive step forward, “I don’t like this.”

“He was obsessed with HYDRA,” Bucky pushed, “We have a history together. Trust me, I got it.”

Taking my cue from Sam, who didn’t fight him any more, I nervously watched Bucky stalk down the hallway to the corridor that led to our possible next step.

“Is he really okay?” I asked, watching Bucky’s figure until he disappeared, “I feel like we’re going a little too far with this.” “He’s invested, which means he’s desperate,” Sam answered, leaning his back against the wall, “This is a little too much though.” 

I copied his posture and we stood in silence, the occasional guard passing by. “What happened last night after I left the room? C’mon, you come out crying and you thought I was gonna let it go?” “Bucky and I were just…” I sighed, remembering the change that had happened between our two conversations, “Learning to get along. I told him about Steve, that’s never fun to relive.” “Ah,” Sam nodded, “Can I ask you something?” 

“Hm?” “You’re not mad at me that I gave up the shield, are you?”

My brows knitted together as I looked over at him, “Why would I be mad? Your decision wouldn’t have changed even if I was, would it?” “No, it wouldn’t have. But you were close to Steve too, you care about his legacy,” he went on, “We’re all angry about Walker. I don’t care if Bucky’s upset at me, but I always care if you are.” “Someone ever tell you you care too much sometimes?” I playfully nudged his sneaker with my own, “Of course I’m not mad, you know I support you no matter what. You made the right decision for you and you have nothing to apologize for. Bucky and even Steve don’t need to understand why you chose to give it up. Would it have been cool to say that my brother is Captain America?” I coaxed a laugh out of him, “Of course, but it doesn’t change how I see you. I’m just proud to say my brother is Sam Wilson.” He poked me with his elbow and smiled, “Now I remember why I keep you around.” “Y/n Y/l/n, Falcon’s Ego Booster.” We were sharing a laugh when Bucky came back around the corner. “That was quick,” I observed. He’d been in there five minutes tops.

“We’ve got our next stop.”

————

“What are you talking about? You wanna break Zemo outta jail?” Sam questioned in the dark, “Where are we, Buck? Have you lost your mind?”

“We have no leads, no moves, nothing,” Bucky replied, shining his flashlight around to try and find the power switch. I couldn’t clearly make out where he had brought us to, he’d brought us through the back door of the building. “So because we’ve hit one dead end, you want to spring one of the most dangerous men in the world out of prison?” I asked, shining my flashlight at Bucky causing him to throw a hand up to shield his eyes, “Bucky, I don’t-“ “Like this,” he finished, “I got that, but we’ve got eight Super Soldiers on the loose.” “Zemo’s gonna miss with our minds, especially yours,” Sam interjected, “No offense.” I made out Bucky’s silhouette reaching up a beam, a loud click of a switch and the lights began to turn on. “Offense,” he scowled.

With the lights on, we could finally see that we were in an auto shop. I was glad to be out of the prison but I wasn’t seeing the correlation between it and freeing Zemo.

“Super Soldiers go against everything he believes in,” Bucky continued, “He is crazy, but he still has a code.” “I’ve been on the wrong side of that code and so have you,” Sam countered, I’d heard in detail about the havoc Zemo had caused and the ramifications of his actions had caused Sam and Steve to become fugitives. Never mind what he’d done to Bucky…”He blew up the UN, he killed King T’Chaka and framed you for it. Did you forget that? You think the Wakandans forgot about it? It’s a rhetorical question, they didn’t. I know why this matters to you, but it’s pushing you off the deep end.”

Bucky stood in front of us now, “We don’t know how they’re gettin’ the serum. We don’t even know how many of them there are,” Sam turned his back in frustration, “Look, let me just walk you two through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

“What did you do?” Sam asked suspiciously, turning halfway to meet Bucky’s eyes.

“I didn’t…” Bucky’s looked away briefly, “Do anything.”

“Then by all means,” I leaned up against a beam and crossed my arms, not believing him at all, “Let’s ride the hypothetical train.” Bucky frowned at my sarcasm before launching into it, “The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element. Now, in this lockup, it’s nine to one, prisoners to guards. And if two prisoners start fighting, then the protocol says four guards have to respond.” “So why would two prisoners randomly start fighting at that moment?” Sam asked.

“Who knows? There could be many reasons…But the point is, these things escalate. Lockdown procedures would have to be initiated and with all those bodies flying around left and right, wouldn’t be hard to slip down a hallway or two. And if the fire alarm got tripped while the prisoners were being separated, someone could use the chaos to their advantage.”

“My gut is sounding off every alarm it has right now,” I commented from my place across from Bucky.

“Yeah, I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this, this is unnatural,” Sam replied finally, “Are you- and where are we, man?” A nearby door closing caused us to turn our attention towards it, a silhouette appearing soon after through a curtain. The shadow became a man and walked through the cloth divider wearing the face I’d had etched in my brain since the day it hit the news.

“You son of a bitch,” I mumbled, creating a ball of energy quickly with my hands. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Sam’s voice rose, walking with me towards the man, “What are you doin’ here?” Bucky was quick to throw himself in front of us, “No, listen. I didn’t want to tell you ‘cause I knew neither of you would let this happen.” “What the hell did you do?” I exclaimed.

“We need him,” Bucky said. Sam pointed to Zemo, “You’re going back to prison!”

“If I may,” the Sokovian man began, removing the hat of his stolen prison guard uniform.

“NO!” the three of us yelled at the same time. He hung his head, “Apologies…” Bucky turned back to Sam, “When Steve refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, you backed him. You broke the law, and you stuck your neck out for me,” when Sam averted his gaze, Bucky chased it, “I’m asking you to do it again.” 

“And what about her?” Sam gestured to me and the ball of energy I still had formed in my palms, “What happens when she breaks the law?” Bucky’s pleading eyes drifted to me, “He’s our only shot at getting any answers.” My mind was wrestling with itself, his rightness was inevitably going to come at a cost we would all have to pay. On a technicality, yes, I could plead innocent to freeing Zemo. A coconspirator charge, I wouldn’t be so lucky with. But stopping the Flag Smashers meant saving lives and that wasn’t something I could walk away from. I deformed the energy in my hands in cautious surrender, “I’m already breakin’ the law by going against the accords, I need to make it worth it at least.” Sam shot me an exasperated glance, but he didn’t fight me.

“I really think I’m invaluable…” Zemo began from his corner.

“Shut up…” Sam warned, effectively shutting him up. Sam thought it all over for a second before pressing his flashlight to Bucky’s chest, “Okay. If we do this, you don’t make a move without our permission.” Zemo shrugged, “Fair.”

The three of us shared an uneasy look, there was no going back now. “Okay, Zemo, where do we start?”

“Follow me,” he smiled, leading the way out of the auto shop and expecting us to follow. Sam went first, eager to keep his eye on Zemo at all times while Bucky and I brought up the rear.

“I didn’t want to have to go this route,” he said from beside me as if he owed me some explanation for his actions. I sighed, trying to shut off the part of my brain that was screaming at me, “Just be right.”

We maneuvered through a few corridors until we hit a room filled with beautiful antique cars. “So our first move is grand theft auto?” Sam asked. “These are mine,” Zemo corrected, “Collected by family over the generations. I spent years hunting people HYDRA recruited to recreate the serum. Because once it’s out there, someone can create an army of people…like the Avengers,” he dug through one of the cars to pull out a bag and coat, “I ended the Winter Soldier program once before. I have no intention to leave my work unfinished.” My eyes unavoidably flickered to Bucky, observing his reaction to hearing his old code name. He simply watched the man continue speaking. “To do this, we’ll have to scale a ladder of lowlifes.”

“Well, join the party. We’ve already started…” Sam commented.

“First stop is a woman named Selby,” Zemo stated as he headed for the exit, “Mid-level fence I still have a line on. From there, we climb.” 

Sam, Bucky and I left a gaping distance between us and him, we were still highly suspicious and I had a feeling we would be until our temporary partnership came to an end.

————

Zemo had gotten word to somebody that we’d be meeting them at a private airport in Berlin and flying to someplace called Madripoor. Somehow we’d made the journey without being recognized, even those of us who were wanted across the globe. “So all this time you’ve been rich?” Sam asked as we made our way towards the private plane.

“I’m a Baron, Sam,” Zemo answered, “My family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country.” 

Zemo greeted the man standing outside the plane, who was dressed like a butler, in Sokovian. “Well,” I crossed my arms and watched one of the world’s most dangerous men exchange cheek kisses, “If we’re going to work with a criminal, at least we picked one that comes with transportation.” “Please,” Zemo said, gesturing for us to follow him up the plane’s steps. Sam awkwardly bowed to the butler and headed up. Bucky extended a hand towards the jet for me to go ahead of him before following closely behind.

When we filed into the plane, Sam and Zemo were already seated. I moved to take the chair across from the baron, wanting to keep as close an eye on him as I could. Bucky’s flesh arm reached out quickly and grabbed my shoulder, I turned to question him and met his wary expression. “Sit with Sam,” he muttered quietly, our faces close enough that I could feel his breath as he’d spoken. It dawned on me that he wanted me to have the safer position. I answered with a nod, maneuvering around him to sit across from Sam. Even though his hand had left my arm, I could still feel its print through my jacket.

We had been flying for maybe twenty minutes when Zemo’s butler, Oeznik, came in carrying a glass of champagne for Zemo and offering to whip up some food. It astounded me how to the world, he was evil yet to his servants, he was a joy. “You don’t know what it’s like to be locked in a cell,” the baron said before looking over at my brother, “Oh, that’s right. You do.”

Sam bypassed the jab remarkably, “Why don’t you tell us about where we’re going?”

“I’m sorry, I was just fascinated by this,” Zemo held up a book, “I don’t know what to call it, but this part seems to be important. Who is Nakajima?”

Not two seconds after the name had left his lips, Bucky out of his seat with his metal hand wrapped around Zemo’s neck. My heart stopped as I watched him lean over the man threateningly. “If you touch that book again,” he growled, “I’ll kill you.” This was a side of Bucky I had yet to see, the one that straddled the line between his dark past and his true self. As he sat back down, tucking the book in his pocket and refusing to meet my eyes, I could tell he wasn’t pleased with how he’d acted. I wasn’t in a place to criticize but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been slightly worried when his fingers hit Zemo’s skin.

“I’m sorry,” Zemo said, “I understand that list of names. People you’ve wronged as the Winter Soldier.” “Don’t push it,” Bucky rasped, collecting himself after the scene.

“I’ve seen that book,” Sam spoke up, “It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man, he wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What’d you think?” “I like ’40’s music,” Bucky shrugged and looked out the window, “So…” “You didn’t like it?” Sam exclaimed.

“I liked it,” Bucky replied unconvincingly.

“It is a masterpiece, James,” Zemo chimed in, his hands forming a triangle, “Complete, comprehensive…It captures the African-American experience.” While my brows raised at the European’s surprising education, Sam’s furrowed. “He’s out of line, but he’s right. It’s great, everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

Bucky shook his head, “I like Marvin Gaye.” “Steve adored Marvin Gaye.” “He did,” I chuckled, reminiscing back to only last year, “Played him almost anytime I got in a car with him.” “You must have really looked up to Steve,” Zemo said, “But I realized something when I met him. The danger with people like him, America’s Super Soldiers, is that we put them on pedestals.” “Watch your step, Zemo…” Sam warned. “They become symbols. Icons. And then we start to forget about their flaws. From there,” he shrugged, “Cities fly, innocent people die. Movements are formed, wars are fought,” Zemo turned his attention to Bucky, “You remember that, right?” As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad icon. Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull? That is why we’re going to Madripoor.” “What’s up with Madripoor?” Sam looked between the two men, “You guys talk about it like it’s Skull Island.”

“It’s an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago,” Bucky grumbled, “It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s.” “It’s kept its lawless ways, but we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves,” Zemo’s unsettling eyes moved back to Bucky, “James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.” 

With the way Bucky’s expression had changed in mere seconds from complacent to tortured, it didn’t take long to decode what Zemo was insinuating. “No,” I blurted out, “That’s not fair to ask of him.” “I admire your devotion, Y/n,” Zemo complimented with his lips to his champagne flute, taking a quick sip, “But you know nothing of how Madripoor works. If you want to get to Selby, we must have protection. More than that, we must have leverage. James can provide us both by simply playing a part.” “Devo-?” I shook my head, sidestepping Zemo’s comment, “That’s not playing a part, that’s like reliving every nightmare you’ve ever had. I-it’s like-“ “Y/n,” I turned to see Bucky’s chair rotated towards me, looking helpless and determined all at once, “We need in.” “Yeah, but…” I started to protested before seeing his eyes, those ocean blue eyes I was growing to feel comforted by begging me to let the subject go. I clenched my own y/e/c ones shut in frustration, “Okay.” “Now that that’s settled,” Zemo stood from his seat, “I will find us something to change into, we will need to blend in where we’re going.” ——

The silver dress Zemo had chosen for me was…it made me wonder just what kind of scene we were planning to enter. It was more revealing than anything I typically wore, but gorgeous nonetheless and fit perfectly.

As I was finishing my makeup in the bathroom of the plane, I had to take a second to steel myself for what was to come. This wasn’t just dallying with Super Soldiers any more, this was dancing with the criminal underworld. Zemo hadn’t told us yet the roles we were playing, only that we needed to stay in character at all cost. I had never felt more out of my depth, but had no choice but to rise to the occasion. Giving myself one last check in the mirror, I unlocked and exited the bathroom. 

“Okay, I hope whoever I’m playing is bad with heels,” I held up the elaborate shoes Zemo had matched to my dress, “Because there’s no way I’m going to be graceful in these.” Sam looked up from tying his dress shoes, dressed in a maroon suit patterned with yellow circles. His eyes scanned my outfit unapprovingly. “Uh uh,” he protested, going full protective big brother, “Nope. It shows too much.” “It doesn’t matter what it shows,” I said, bending over to strap on the shoes, “It’s what I’ve got.” “She’s right,” Zemo chimed in, putting his jacket on, “You two are supposed to be rich, glamorous travelers of the world. You need to look the part,” he nodded towards me, “You wear it well.” I politely smiled at the baron and looked up to Bucky, perched in the far corner of the jet. His gaze was fixed on me, eyes quickly traveling down my body before quickly locking with mine. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, his plush lips parted ever so slightly. I found myself just as drawn into him as he seemed to be with me, for a few seconds it was just the two of us shutting our surroundings out. It was…something. “You look nice,” Bucky finally said, his voice slightly strained.

My lips quirked upwards, “Thanks.” “It is time for us to leave,” Zemo announced, bursting the bubble Bucky and I had built, “You’d better get used to those shoes quickly, we’ll be making most of the journey by foot.” He hadn’t been lying. We departed the runway and walked our way towards the city. Madripoor looked beautiful on the outside, the high-rise buildings lit up in all different colors emitting a glow across the waters. 

“We have to do something about this,” Sam finally exclaimed, holding the lapels of his patterned maroon suit, “I’m the only one who looks like a pimp.” “If you’re a pimp, what does that make me?” I gestured to the amount of skin I had on display, “Suck it up, Wilson.” “Only an American would assume a fashion-forward black man looks like a pimp,” Zemo added as we crossed the large bridge leading to the city, “You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.” Sam took Zemo’s phone from his outstretched hand, “He even has a bad nickname.”

I leaned over to look at the picture of Sam’s doppelgänger, “Hey, be nice. That’s your twin you’re talking about.” “And you,” Zemo addressed me, “Conrad is known for entertaining beautiful women, one after the other,” he ignored the faces of disgust Sam and I made at the thought of acting as a couple, “You will be playing tonight’s date, no need to come up with a name or a story as his dates are typically just arm candy.”

“So I’m supposed to just sit and look pretty?” I side eyed Zemo in annoyance, “Great.” “You smell this?” he asked the group.

“Yeah, what is that? Acid?” Sam asked.

“Madripoor,” Zemo answered, “No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. Our lives depend on it. There’s no margin for error. High Town’s that way,” Zemo pointed towards the part of the city I’d been admiring, “Not a bad place if you want to visit, but Low Town’s the other way.” We approached a car waiting for us at the end of the bridge, ready to take us into the darkest part of the city. Bucky, who had remained silent since the plane, climbed into the backseat first while Zemo took the passenger’s side. “Let me guess,” Sam remarked as we moved to get in the car, “We don’t have any friends in High Town.”

“I’m guessing not,” I muttered, ducking into the back seat and sliding till I was pressed against Bucky. He didn’t make a sound, he barely even registered my presence. I was about to ask him if he was alright when I realized what he was doing. We all had our roles to play and Bucky was doing just that. 

Sam climbed in next to me and we took off, me sandwiched between the two men trying to convince myself that I could do this. I could pretend to be someone I wasn’t to get answers, but my nerves was convincing me I was going to mess it up for us. No margin for error, Zemo’s words bounced around in my brain. He’d said our lives depended on it. They depended on whether or not I could keep it together. Sam must have sensed my anxiety because I felt his palm slide against my clammy one and squeeze. I sent a shaky one back, taking what comfort I could that I didn’t have to do this alone.

We were escorted in by a motorcade till we got to the seedier part of the city, the bridge we parked under painted with graffiti. Sam helped me out of the car and Zemo took our group through the back way into the city. As we crossed the overhead bridge, looking down into the city, I began to feel like my life had suddenly become some fever dream. Even more so once we entered the city and I was surrounded by people from all walks of life. Smugglers were making deals, guards were stationed outside buildings with machine guns, forgers were trying to sell to people. It was like nothing I’d ever seen. Sam kept me on his arm the entire time, selling our characters while still retaining his protective nature. We followed Zemo into a crowded bar, weaving our way through. “Here we are,” he announced quietly, our fellow patrons took notice as soon as they caught sight of Bucky, “Gotov podchinit'sya, zimniy soldat?” (Ready to comply, Winter Soldier?)

I tried my best to keep my face neutral, though an unwelcome chill went down my spine as Zemo began his act. It was wrong. It wasn’t fair to Bucky or his recovery to make him do this.

We approached the bar and the bartender came over immediately, “Hello, gentlemen. Ma’am. Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.” “His plans changed,” Zemo explained, “We have business to do with Selby.”

The bartender looked over suspiciously at Sam, “The usual?” Sam nodded casually in response and the man walked away to begin prepping the drink. What took us by surprise was when he reached for a jar containing a dead snake rather than the bottle of alcohol. He proceeded to lay the reptile on a cutting board and slice its stomach open, I looked up to Sam who was doing his best to keep his composure. “Ah, Smiling Tiger,” Zemo jeered, “Your favorite.”

The bartender removed a piece of the snake’s guts and sunk it into a shot glass filled with vodka. I covered my mouth with my clutch to conceal my delight at the sight I was about to behold. Sam caught the action and addressed the bartender, “You know what? She’ll have one too.” “Oh, no, I don’t think so,” I quickly protested, waving it off as if it were a shot of tequila and not an animal intestine.

“No, girl, I insist,” Sam grinned phonily at me.

“They actually upset my stomach,” I giggled, glancing to the bartender, “Can’t hold my liquor to save my life, I’ll be up all night sick if it touches my lips. But you enjoy, sweetheart.” The bartender didn’t pay much attention to the exchange as he set the shot glass in front of Sam, who looked unconvincingly between the glass and Zemo. “I love these,” he stated, holding it up for us all to see.

“Cheers, Conrad,” Zemo clinked his glass against Sam’s.

Sam made several, hopefully convincing, noises of excitement about his drink. After giving it one last look, he shot it straight down, holding a thumbs up to the bartender afterwards.

“How badly are you trying not to throw up right now?” I whispered after the man had left.

“I can’t even hear you right now,” Sam replied in a strained voice, focusing on keeping the drink where it needed to be. An intimidating bearded man made us all turn around, he looked to Zemo. “I got word from on high. You ain’t welcome here.”

Zemo, ever the cool and collected presence, turned to the man. “I have no business with the Power Broker. But if he insists, he can either come and talk to me…” Zemo gestured to Bucky, standing at his side. 

“New haircut?” the man asked Bucky, who stayed silent.

“Or bring Selby for a chat,” Zemo finished.

The man left, leaving us with questions. “A power broker?” Bucky grumbled, “Really?” “Every kingdom needs its king,” Zemo replied, “Let’s just pray we stay under his radar.” 

“Do you know him?” Sam inconspicuously asked. “Only be reputation the baron answered, “In Madripoor he is judge, jury, and executioner.”

I spotted another man approaching us, this one walking with a purpose. Zemo looked to Bucky, the show was about to start. “Zimniy Soldat,” Bucky nodded once, “Attask.” (Winter Soldier, attack.) As soon as the stranger thumped Zemo’s shoulder, Bucky sprang to action, his metal hand grabbing and twisting the man’s arm. He pushed him to the center of the room where he proceeded to twist it further before dropping him to the ground. The groans coming from him were sickening as he lay helpless, clutching his most likely broken arm. As another patron came up to attack, Bucky moved fast to disarm him before power kicking him into a table several times. I clung to Sam’s arm even tighter as Zemo shoved someone forward for Bucky to punch, sending him sliding across the floor. 

“Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form,” Zemo slyly observed, from my side. It took everything in me not to send him flying across the room right then. He was enjoying this.

When Bucky lifted a man by his throat and slammed him down on the bar was when guns all over the bar were cocked. Sam grabbed onto Bucky’s metal arm, ready to pull him back to us and to reality. “Stay in character,” Zemo whispered, dead serious, “Or the whole bar turns on us.” Sam dropped his arm as Zemo leaned into Bucky, “Molodets, soldat.” (Well done, soldier.)

“Selby will see you now,” the bartender said, watching the scene in awe. Bucky slowly let the man go, gasping and groaning for air once he was freed. Sam looked over warily, “You good?” When Bucky faced us, his eyes met mine before they met Sam’s. I wished I could have concealed my reaction better for his sake, but the second he had attacked was the first time since we’d met that I’d been properly scared of him. It made the incident on the plane look like nothing. My mind knew he was just acting, pretending to be someone he once was for the sake of furthering our mission. But my blood ran just as cold with fear as it would have if the Winter Soldier was standing in front of me. Bucky’s eyes now were watery, filled with pain that he’d worked hard with his therapist to get through, now being brought back to life. Had the bar not been watching and had I not needed to stick with Sam, I’d have been at his side trying to make sure he was alright. Instead, I could only watch as he sniffled, nodded to Sam and followed Zemo to wherever we were going next.

We were escorted upstairs through a series of hallways with a heavily armed guard following us. A white haired woman sat in the middle of the room we were led to, tapping her fingers against the couch she lounged on. “You should know, Baron, people don’t just come into my bar and make demands.” Zemo smiled, “Not a demand. An offer.”

Sam and I took our places standing next to Selby, Bucky stood watch across from us, back in his act. 

“A lot has changed since you were here last,” Selby spared a look at Bucky, “By the way, I thought you were rotting away in a German prison. How did you escape?” 

“People like us always find a way, don’t we?” Zemo shrugged, “I’m sure you’ve already figured out what I’m here for.” 

Selby pointed a blind finger towards Sam, “You’re taller than I’d heard, Smiling Tiger,” she eyed Sam suggestively and gave him a purr before turning her attention to me, “And what a lovely little dish you’ve got with you.” Internally I was struggling to stay calm and had never felt more exposed with the thin materiel of the dress over my body. “What’s the offer?” Selby grinned at Zemo.

“Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum,” Zemo replied, rising from his seat to circle Bucky, “And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want,” Zemo rubbed Bucky’s chin, playing with it to provoke him but knowing he could get away with it. I felt sick to my stomach.

“Now that’s the Zemo I remember,” Selby approved, “I’m glad I decided not to kill you immediately. Yeah, you were right to come to me. Arrogant, but right. The super-soldier serum is here in Madripoor. Dr. Wilfred Nagel is the man you wanna thank. Or condemn, depending on what side of this you’re on. The Power Broker had him working on the serum, but…things didn’t go as planned.”

I squeezed Sam’s arm, we were getting answers. The crazy, chaotic plan was actually working. “Is Nagal still in Madripoor?” Zemo asked.

“Oh, the bread crumbs you can have for free,” Selby’s flirtatious demeanor shifted as she stood to business-like, “But the bakery is gonna cost you, Baron. And before you get all cute, don’t think you can find Nagel without me.” 

A sudden vibration tickled my arm from Sam’s suit pocket, it was his cell phone. He pulled it out hesitantly and looked down at it, I glanced over to see that it was Sarah calling.

“Answer it,” Selby ordered, Bucky had moved behind her to give us protection if need be, “On speaker.” The armed bodyguards moved in closer, it was clear we had no say in the matter. Sam unlocked his phone and pressed the speaker button, “Hello?” “Hey, um, we need to talk about this situation,” Sarah’s voice filled the air, sending an all too brief wave of peace through me, “It’s been drivin’ me nuts.” 

“What situation exactly are you talkin’ about?” Sam replied stiffly. “Are you high? You know what situation, it’s the only situation me and you have.”

“What situation, Sarah?” Sam’s voice grew louder, “Say it.”

“The damn boat,” Sarah replied just as hard, “And watch your tone, okay? I let you slide at the bank.”

Sarah. The boat. Home. And here I was standing in a designer dress meeting with Indonesian crime bosses. Two unbelievable worlds were colliding on the call.

Sam scoffed and nervously chuckling, “Yeah, the bank. Laundered so much, yeah, they’ll come around.” “If that was the case, then why’d they dog you out, Big Time?”

“Yeah, you damn right I’m Big Time. You’ll see,” Sam paused menacingly, “When I have that banker killed.”

We almost had Selby convinced as I watched her pace around the room, we were so close to- “Cass! What’d I tell you about the Cheerios? I don’t have time for this!” Sarah yelled, “Sam, I’m sorry. Let me call you back, and make sure Y/n is with you too.” “Sam? Y/n?” Selby echoed the names, “Who are you? Kill them!”

A second after she had given the order, a bullet shot through the nearby window and struck her chest fatally. The four of us sprung to action, Sam landing punches on the guard stationed behind us while I used my energy to pull the machine gun from his grasp. Across from us, Bucky took care of the other guard. I handed the weapon to Sam and we took our positions in the back of the room, ready to retaliate against the hidden assassin. “They’re gonna pin this on us,” Sam panted, our backs against the wall.

“We have a real problem now,” Zemo said, unbelievably calm for someone in our situation, “So leave your weapons and follow my lead.” Bucky ripped the lock on the back door and the four of us filed down the staircase quick as we could. It dropped us back off in the middle of the city, we hurriedly made our way down the street where all heads were turning to us. “This is not good,” Zemo hurried. The words hung in the air for a grand total of five seconds before bullets started to rain down around us. Bucky, Sam and I tore down the street where in the chaos, Zemo took off in another direction.

“I can’t run in these heels!” Sam yelled over the gunfire. “Oh, I don’t wanna hear it,” I exclaimed, struggling to keep up with them in my stilettos, “Screw it!”

I threw my hands out to my side and lifted off the ground, keeping low enough to dodge any shots but stay close to Sam and Bucky. Two motorcycles sped after us promising more bounty hunters, Zemo caught up with us and killed two lone gunmen hiding behind a dumpster. Two perfectly aimed bullets came out of nowhere and lodged themselves in the heads of the cyclists chasing us.

“You seem to have a guardian angel,” Zemo observed as the three of us looked around for our savior.

“Well, this is too perfect,” a woman’s voice said, she appeared seconds later drawing back her hood and pointing a gun toward us, “Drop it, Zemo.”

Bucky stepped forward disbelievingly, “Sharon?” Sharon Carter. I recognized her only from the pictures I’d seen of her on the news when the shitstorm that branded her an enemy of the state went down. As she strode forward, ready to strike down the man responsible, I couldn’t say with certainty if she was an ally or not. “You cost me everything,” she seethed.

“Sharon, wait,” Sam, ever the steady presence, held a hand out and carefully came towards her, “Someone recreated the super-soldier serum and Zemo had a lead.” “Well, that explains why you guys are here and Selby’s dead.”

“So what are you doing here?” Bucky asked.

“I stole Steve’s shield, remember?” she answered, her face contorting, “I also took the wings for your ass,” she aimed her gun at Sam, “So that you could save his ass,” then at Bucky, “From his ass,” the gun landed on me after Zemo, “Your ass is new.” “I’ve had one hell of an initiation, trust me,” I replied, standing my ground between Bucky and Zemo.

Sharon turned back towards Sam, “Unlike you, I didn’t have the Avengers to back me up so I’m off the grid in Madripoor.”

“Don’t blow that smoke at me, I was on the run, too,” Sam recalled. “Was. Is. Big difference. I don’t speak to my family anymore,” Sharon shook her head sadly, “I can’t. My own father doesn’t know where I am.”

“Listen, Sharon,” Bucky stepped forward, “We need your help. Please.” Sharon mirthlessly chuckled to herself, sighing afterwards as she made her decision. “This isn’t over. I have a place in High Town, you should be safe there for a while.”

While Sam roughly shoved Zemo forward to keep him in his line of sight, Bucky pressed a gentle hand to the small of my back to act as a guide through the dark alleyways. “You okay?” he asked quietly, quickly looking over at me. With everything he’d gone through in the last twenty minutes, the fight in the bar, the unshed tears in his eyes, Zemo talking about him like he was property to be traded, I couldn’t understand why he was asking if I was alright. He was what I was concerned with right now. “I will be once I get out of these shoes,” I joked, trying to get him to smile if at all possible. A corner of his lips turned upwards in a blink-and-you’d-miss-it flash, mine doing the same right after in some sort of relief.

Sharon led us to her car parked down a different alley, Sam shoved Zemo in the front seat while him, Bucky and I squeezed in the backseat once again. The difference between Low Town and High Town was visceral, Madripoor may have been dangerous no matter where you went but High Town provided a little more safety. When we arrived at Sharon’s house, greeted by two burly guards, the feeling of protection increased. The first room we entered was filled with artwork, statues and other priceless works that told us exactly what Sharon had done to afford her lifestyle in High Town.

“Looks like breaking all those laws is treating you well,” Sam commented as we walked through the room.

“Well, I thought if I had to hustle, might as well enjoy the life of a real hustler,” Sharon shrugged, far too goodheartedly for a true criminal, “You know how much I can get for a real Monet?” Sam grinned at his friend, “Deactivate your hustle mood, you sell fake Monets.”

“No, she means real,” Zemo corrected, “This gallery is specialized in stolen artwork. Monet. Van Gogh. Classics.” “I kinda thought that was implied,” I said, following Sharon and Zemo and beginning to relax in the shockingly calm environment, “No offense.” Sharon scoffed, “None taken, a girl’s gotta do what she can to survive. By the way, who are you?”

“Y/n Y/l/n,” I answered, “Sam’s sister.” “Hmm,” Sharon hummed, looking me over once before turning around to hurry Sam and Bucky along, “Come on, you guys need to change. I’m hosting clients in an hour. You,” she pointed to me, “Second door on your left, I’ll bring something up for you.” At the promise of shedding the over exposing dress and blistering heels, I had never moved faster in my life.

————

I took the opportunity to catch my breath while I could, the night had been a little too exciting than any of us had wanted. Sitting on the edge of Sharon’s bed with my elbows balanced on my knees, I felt the adrenaline rush I’d been running on start to subside.

The door opened, bringing in Sharon and her garment of choice. “This looked like it would fit you,” she said, tossing me a black jumpsuit that looked ten times more comfortable than what I was in. She walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out an outfit for herself, “I gotta change too, back to back?” “Works for me,” I replied, turning around and beginning to unzip the dress.

“So you said you’re Sam’s sister but your last name isn’t Wilson?” Sharon asked, I could hear the sound of her clothes hitting the floor.

“We grew up together,” I freed myself of the dress and kicked it to the corner of the room.

“That doesn’t explain why you’re here though,” she said, “This is probably the shittiest family road trip you could go on so clearly there’s a reason.” I looked over to the wardrobe, a pair of black boots sitting on the floor next to it. I used my energy to levitate them and landed them at Sharon’s side. Her dry chuckle served as her reaction. “I kinda begged him to bring me,” I explained as I pulled the jumpsuit up my body, “He was going to send me back home before John Walker decided to not so subtly threaten me with the Sokovian Accords, figured I’d be safer here with them.” “Safer?” Sharon scoffed, “Did he say this before or after you were being shot at by bounty hunters?”

“Well, between getting shipped off to jail and going undercover with a superhero and a Super Soldier as protection, I’ll take my chances here.” I heard Sharon walk away, presumably finished dressing. I zipped up the suit and tightened the belt, turning around after to find her leaned up against her dresser with her hands in her pockets. “Look, I know we just met but let me do you a favor and shed some light on the subject of heroics. It’s all bullshit. The whole costume, nickname, swoop-in-and-save-the-day act is all hypocrisy. I get that you’re young, you’ve got,” she waved a hand at mine, “Whatever that is. Maybe you want to do some good, maybe you just want to feel like you’re a part of something. Maybe you didn’t think it through at all and just thought it would be cool to run with a superhero. But if you’re smart, you’ll get your ass on a plane to anywhere but here and stay clear of all this.”

There was so much going through my head that I wanted to throw back at her, proving her speech completely wrong. Then I remembered that this woman had sacrificed more than most had and the government had turned their backs on her. She’d stuck her neck out for Steve and Sam and had been punished for it. Plus, she was kind enough to give us refuge when she had every right now to. I wasn’t in a place to criticize her. If anything, she should have been a cautionary tale. “I’ve had these powers all my life and have never known what to do with them,” I responded, “I want to help people and this is the best way for me to do that. As easy as it would be for some people to walk away, this is personal and I can’t leave now.” Sharon stared back at me silently before pushing herself off the dresser and brushing past me. There were layers of her expression, if I could peel each one back I thought I might get to the sadness I suspected she felt regarding her current life status. She opened her wardrobe, pulled out a pair of combat boots and handed them to me. “Then take a step back and ask yourself how far you’re willing to go. And if the three of you live long enough to get there, is it going to be worth the hell that’ll come afterwards?” She gave me a half smile before leaving the room, her heavy words hanging in the air. Steve had been my friend, Sam was my brother and Bucky was quickly climbing the ranks of people I cared about. I was going to see this through to the end with them, but what was the end? Was it retrieving the rest of the serum and stopping the Flag Smashers? Was it only two of us returning? One? None? Questions I didn’t have the answers to swirled in my mind as I stared at the door, wondering what awaited us for the rest of the night.

----

A/N: Next chapter is going to be...let’s just say there’s gonna be a lot of developments. A lot. Hope you guys are enjoying it, let me know what you thought or if you’d like to be tagged.

Safe Haven taglist: @tanyaherondale​ @wanniiieeee​ @asoftie4bucky​ @edencherries​ @i-reblog-fics-i-like​ @ttalisa​ @gcfty @withyoutilltheendofthismess​ @rinaispunk​ @weirdowithnobeardo​ @felicityofbakerstreet​ @godlypotterwhodiaries @eternalharry​ @voguesir​ @mizz-kraziii​ @okayline​ @smellmymisunderstoodfluff @wanderin-stories​ @nicklet94 @intricate-melody​ @aesthethickks​ @stumbleonmywords​ @simplybarnes​ @21bruhs​ @lostinwonderland314​ @superbookishhufflepuff​ @kaelyn-lobrutto24​ @zozebo​ @fandomxreaders​ @kittengirl998​ @sarai-ibn-la-ahad​

[apixrl]

DRIVER'S LICENSE.

katsuki bakugou x fem! reader

WARNING(S): angst. cheating. swearing because it's bakugou.

word count: 4.5k

song: drivers license // olivia rodrigo (i wonder why...)

note(s): so i captioned this *at the time of writing* 'hello and welcome to i've had the worst two weeks ever so i wrote a katsuki oneshot to cope' and it's probably one of my most personal pieces of writing tbh

"-come Tuesday and we'll potentially see an end to this heavy downpour of rain. Temperatures will be on the rise to around-"

The talk on the radio cut short at the jab of your finger, heaving a great sigh which faded into the muffled pitter-patter of rain from outside. The streets had been showered with heavy downpours for the last week or so, no sign of sun or a still and restful day. Notwithstanding the miserable outdoors, the windscreen wipers on your car never ceased in their duty to grant you a clear view of the road ahead. And whilst you were grateful for their devotion, it didn't feel clear in the slightest. In fact, the road had never felt so blurry.

Shivering against the cold night chill and tucking your knees cosily to your chest, you eyed the raindrops on the windows. They raced against one another before they dripped down to your car's body, their glossy presence obvious thanks to the many hues of street lamps that surrounded them. You could have watched them for hours, being honest. Something about the droplets of water battling it out quite enticing. Anything to take you away from the cruel reality you were living in.

Your heart ached and yearned. But to no avail, the one you ached and yearned for didn't love you back.

Not anymore, at least.

Just the mere thought provoked a pulsating pang to resonate throughout your entire body. A pang filled with grief and sadness. Anger and hurt. You missed his sun-kissed face on the sunny mornings. You missed his eyes and how they gazed at you from across the room. You missed the smiles and laughter he would only show for you and you alone. The sense of glee and euphoria that came with that honour. Yet all of it was gone and there was no way you could get it back.

The memories of what had been triggered more waterworks. Hot, salty tears dug at the corners of your eyes and trickled down your face. Your motionless car concealed your cries and sobs. Every thrash against the wheel as you questioned to nobody in particular what went wrong and why. How you didn't see the signs sooner. What you could have done better. When he stopped loving you. If he ever planned to stop loving you. Whether it would have hurt more if you found out sooner.

All these questions with nothing to answer them.

Katsuki Bakugou had always fascinated you. From the very moment you met. You accompanied your friend on a double date, and he was the guy who she matched for you. Whilst he originally acted as though a blind date was the last place he wanted to be, underneath the aggression you could tell there was something much more genuine and true.

And your assumptions were correct. Truth be told, Katsuki Bakugou was one of the most genuine and truest people you had met (at the time). Once it was just the two of you, he allowed his true colours to unveil. Through the smallest of kind gestures that still haunted your mind to this day. Then upon confrontation, as you bid each other goodbye at your back door, his denial resulted in a flirtatious contest which then proceeded to an intimate night that changed your life forever. From there your mind was set.

He was the one.

Emphasis on was.

So blinded with a fairy tale love you grew so accustomed to, you never saw it coming. Never in your two-year relationship - that had so much strength and commitment built on top of it, never did you think that Katsuki Bakugou would throw it all out of the window like it was nothing. Disregard your loyalty and adoration for a drunken one night stand that slowly became an occasional hookup. Which soon became a mandatory pastime once a fortnight. Then twice. Maybe more than that. You wouldn't put it past him with what you knew now.

He kept it from you for nearly six months. Six months. The only reason you discovered his lies and deception was because you were let off early one night from work. You worked a night shift, see. Your last job had fallen to shambles, and it was temporary whilst you searched for a new one. And whilst that did take a toll on your relationship with Katsuki Bakugou, mostly finding time for intimacy since his working hours were during the day, none of that gave him any right to go and do what he did.

That wasn't one of the only reasons, you knew that for sure. There were other motives for his lack of loyalty. But you were never told. After you froze at the sight of another woman under his hold and stormed straight back to your car to flee. After he chased you down the flights of stairs in nothing but baggy pants into the streets of a twilight Musutafu. After you screamed into the darkness and belted your fists against his chest. Fists that were driven with rage and hurt and every emotion that burned like the hottest of fires and froze like the coldest of ice. He never even told you. He never made an effort to address it. Nor had he attempted to call or even try to visit your Mom's house - where you stayed as you searched for a permanent place to live. Just because you retreated for your car and cried that it was over, he never tried. But that didn't mean you weren't allowed an explanation. An apology. Something to give you a form of closure and a reason to move on. But you never did.

That wasn't even what hurt the most, either.

As silly as it was, the thing that hurt you the most was the very car you sat in.

EIGHT MONTHS AGO . . .

The red glow of traffic lights hit Katsuki's vermilion irises as he stared dead ahead at the long line of vehicles, the ash-blond heaving a sigh into the air. His finger tapped impatiently against the steering wheel he gripped with one hand, the spare rested casually against your upper thigh affectionately.

"I can't believe we have to sit through this torture just to go to some damn party," Katsuki grumbled, taking a glance over at you. His brows furrowed when he met you peacefully slouched down, nose dug into your phone as you presumably played some sort of game to pass the time. Like you had no care in the world for your predicament.

"It's your best friend's birthday, love," You mused back, Katsuki surprised you even listened based on your focused expression directed towards your phone. "It's not like we can just miss it,"

"Yeah, but we could have missed all this pain by taking the train instead of driving across town during rush hour,"

"Trains are icky, the seats would have ruined your suit and my dress," You pointed out, looking at the blond over your screen, sending him a sweet smile. He cocked a brow, a smirk creeping its way onto his lips as a scoff of a laugh broke out between them.

"Right, and laying down like a sloth is gonna help keep your dress uncreased?" He returned, amused at your realisation. At his comment, you sat up faintly and pouted your lip.

"Driving means more time to play Gravity Pops, and so does traffic,"

"Seriously? That's the game you're playing? You're such a dumbass,"

"Yes! I'm in the top 11% globally! I need to get to number one!" Was your protest, your arms flailing ahead of you briefly for dramatic emphasis. Katsuki clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes, though the small smile plastered over his lips betrayed his initial reaction. Unable to deny your determination, he spoke with confidence and almost a sense of pride.

"Number one, hm? Clearly rubbing off on you aren't I?"

"In a way, yes,"

"That's my girl," Katsuki remarked, earning a giggle from you that was uplifting to hear. It was there your attention went back to your phone, but Katsuki wasn't done. "So, speaking of cars, Y/N," Hearing his chosen tone - which sounded suggestive, you eyed him closely. Hesitant to reply as you had a sense of what he planned to say.

"...Yes?"

"Have you thought any more about getting your driver's license yet?"

Called it.

"...No,"

"What?" Katsuki began, tilting his head. He was surprised that he felt surprised. You had said those words in regards to this topic countless times. Still, he persisted. "Is that a no meaning you haven't or no meaning that you don't want to?"

"Both?" You half-guessed, sheepishly grinning at the look you were sent. "Look, cars scare me okay? And so do roads. And people. My nerves wouldn't be able to handle it! I can barely communicate with people face to face, so me being on the road is a recipe for disaster!"

"I know but -," Katsuki exhaled sharply, understanding your reasoning. You had voiced these concerns when confiding to Katsuki about your fears of the road. Something built and corrupted from social media as well as phobias and fears in general, it was a battle you had yet to overcome. You wanted to drive but was terrified of messing up or causing chaos on the road. Potentially inflicting harm to someone and yourself. You still weren't sure what triggered it all, but over the years it had manifested into something quite irrational, to say the least. Katsuki had been supportive of it and whilst he truly would love to always act as your personal taxi - you couldn't hide from it forever. It wasn't his job to keep you in your comfort zone. That, and he couldn't always be there for you that way. What if he was miles away and you had somewhere urgent to go like the hospital? "It's not as scary as you think. I know it's hard to believe that but seriously. The freedom you get from driving is amazing,"

"I'll think about it a little longer, okay?" You said with hesitancy, looking at Katsuki for a sign of confirmation. He nodded in defeat, knowing you probably needed more time and felt put on the spot. So he averted his eyes back to the road to check if the traffic had moved at all. It had not.

"Okay," Katsuki said. "But I can't be your taxi service forever,"

"But I like you being my taxi service," You jokingly said, a little sadness in your tone. "Your road rage is funny and I like watching you get out of the car and walk to my door after pulling up in my driveway,"

"What do you mean?" Katsuki asked, catching the twitch of a smile on your face upon saying those words. It struck his interest in what you could mean.

"You know, like when you say you're coming to pick me up?" You explained. "You pull up at my driveway and I don't know... simple things like that just remind me of how much I love you. It's dumb really, but it's important to me,"

"Really?" Katsuki questioned in disbelief. How something so small and meaningless could mean so much was puzzling. He couldn't understand why it was so special to you. But that didn't invalidate it in any shape or form. So he pushed that aside, replacing his wonder with gratitude. He returned to your bashful and flustered features, feeling a smile grow on his face.

"Yeah," You said, shrugging to downplay your words. "I love you. Stuff like that means a lot to me,"

"I love you too, even though you're a dumbass," Katsuki said, humbled by what you had said. The two of you shared a gentle exchange, your hand grabbing hold of Katsuki's as you gave it a squeeze. He squeezed back, and silence ensued. Had he realised such a thing sooner, then Katsuki would have pulled up in your driveway much more than he had been doing. But at that a thought struck his mind, victoriously smirking as he had an idea on how to potentially sway your worries. Or begin swaying it. Something was better than nothing, after all. "But what if I wanted you to pull up in my driveway one day?" His words caused you to look over at him in curiosity, hearing the seriousness in the question. It caught you off guard momentarily, having to contemplate as you gradually concluded that he had a point.

"Well one day, maybe I will," You vaguely replied and sat up a little bit. The hand holding yours pulled back and lifted to land on your shoulder, gripping reassuringly tight.

"I hope you do, I'd like to get in on this driveway action," He joked and smirked, faith riddled in his expression. You giggled ever so slightly, tempted to lean forward and peck Katsuki on the lips in thanks, but never a thing was to happen as the alerting red light from outside switched to warm amber.

"Ah!" Katsuki yelled in triumph, his attention leaving you swiftly as he got back into the driver's seat. Giving you no opportunity to respond to him and overall ruining the moment. "Took fucking long enough!"

The light turned green, and he set the car in motion, leaving you with your thoughts and the words he had uttered that day as the traffic stood still.

All your efforts, all your time devoted to getting over your fear of driving and the road as a whole... all of it was pointless. You did it for him. You promised him you would overcome your fears and better yourself. He built that motivation up brick by brick until you could grab hold and seize control. He wasted all that time to get you to reach such a stepping stone only to abandon it once it was through.

Just so you could pull up in his driveway, just like he requested. And what did you get in return when you finally did? A stab in the back and the loss of your other half.

You wiped your eyes via the sleeve of your hoodie, dampening the cuffs. Sniffling and exhaling a shaky breath, your gaze landed on nothing in particular. Yet somewhere within your clouded mind, you found interest. As that was where your gaze remained for a certain amount of time. You weren't sure how long exactly. It could have felt like an hour and only been five minutes. Or it could have felt like five minutes and was actually an entire hour. Either way, the clock ticked on and didn't wait for you to stop.

It was a good thing you had pushed your fears down and rose above them. It just pained you that you didn't even do it for yourself. Without Katsuki Bakugou, you never had any intentions of doing so. As a matter of fact, you had set out to take the train or bus for the rest of your life. Hell, you were going to use a bike and scooter if you got desperate. Had he even acknowledged how much work you put in just to get where you were? Was all that effort part of the reason why he decided to cheat? There was absolutely no telling. Absolutely no telling at all.

You wondered what he was doing now. Was he laid in bed resting peacefully? Out with his friends for a boy's night only? Maybe cooking his favourite curry? Possibly on a late-night jog despite the harsh weather? It never stopped him other times.

Did he ever think about you? Regret what he did and the actions he took? Had he ever considered apologising? Would he ever apologise? What if he was celebrating the fact you were no longer in his life? Had there ever been any love there for you in the start? Did he ever actually want you to get your driver's license because he believed in you? Or was it so he could get rid of you with much more ease? Make his departure less severe and less selfish? A way to justify his choices because it's not like you were hopelessly left to suffer everyday life now that you had a means of transport. Was he really that cruel?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sharp jingle of your phone, the device lighting up as it sat in the passenger seat to your left. It took two or three rings for you to glance over at it, E/C eyes sore and drained from crying out. You squinted them to read the caller, seeing the name 'Work' fade in and out on the brightly lit screen. For a second or two you argued back and forth on whether to even bother picking up. Something about reaching across for your phone requiring a magnitude of energy you no longer possessed. Having spent it all on your cries of agony and the deprivation of your old life as a whole.

However, you had ignored your work in the last couple of weeks too many times now. So many times that pulling the same stunt again would probably risk you losing your job. It's not like your work was interested in why you felt such overwhelming pain... all they cared about was you turning up to do what you were hired to.

So using a forceful hand, you leaned over to pick it up. You fumbled to grip your phone and accepted the call with a dainty tap of your thumb. Then you blinked away your tears and subtly sniffed, pressing your phone to your ear to address the caller.

"Hello?" You practically croaked, quick to clear your throat and push any signs of upset down. It was presumably dry from how much you'd cried in the last two hours.

"L/N! Hey! Glad you finally picked up!" Unlike the droll and unvarying tones of your boss, the person on the other end was much more lively and greeting. So much so you could only assume it was none other than your work colleague, Etsuko. Probably the only person you genuinely liked where you worked, and the only person who made the time pass by faster. "I was worried you were gonna leave me on answer phone again,"

"Hm, what? Oh right. Yeah. Sorry about that. Haven't been feeling too great," You lied, even though it wasn't a complete fib. You hadn't been feeling great at all. You had never felt so rock bottom. It all just originated from your mind over anything else. But when did work care about that?

"Sounds like it, I hope you've been okay!" Still cheery as ever, Etsuko followed up with a laugh to fill the silence you created by not saying anything. "Is everything well? It's nothing serious, is it?"

"No. It's not. Just some dumb cold I caught," You excused. "I'm better now, though," Slouching down in your seat, you decided to ask the question that had been roaming your mind the last minute or so. "So why are you calling?"

"Oh, right!" Etsuko said. "Mr Kobashigawa was just wondering when you planned on coming back - for schedule reasons and to get people to fill in for your shifts,"

"I er...," Not entirely sure how to answer, you stuttered as your words cowered away in your attempt to speak. "I don't -,"

"It's okay, he doesn't need an answer yet," Etsuko reassured. "Maybe in the next day or two, though? He wasn't really specific, being honest,"

You sighed at the guilt brewing in your stomach. You weren't even sick for crying out loud! Why were you lying just so you could wallow in your own sadness?! Like that was going to change anything! Sitting around and crying wasn't going to give you what you wanted. You weren't getting him back. Katsuki Bakugou wasn't yours anymore. He made that clear by cheating. By making minimal effort to give you an explanation. By causing you so much pain with little care or concern. Why couldn't you get it through your thick skull that your feelings didn't matter anymore?! That they were being wasted on a lost cause. A lost relationship!

"Well I mean -," You started, running a hand through your hair as you tread carefully on your words. "I could come in tonight? Has Mr Kobashigawa got someone to fill for me yet?"

"Um... no? I don't think so?" Etsuko answered, uncertainty in her voice. "Let me go check. Be right back!" And with that, the line fell dead. The call didn't end, just Etsuko placing the phone down to get an answer for you. Leaving you all by your lonesome once more.

Reflecting, you could see the logic in your thoughts. The best course of action would be to hold your head up high and live life the way it was before. When you were happy. Just... excluding the factors that actually made you happy. Which was him. Wouldn't that be healthier than crying all the time?

Yes, it would. But was it what you wanted? Not really.

"L/N!" The voice in your ear startled you to the point you nearly dropped your phone, panicking through a gasp as you fiddled to grab hold of it again.

"Wa-! Careful you nearly scared me half to death!"

"Oops, sorry!" Etsuko giggled softy, sounding as perky as ever. "I'm just excited to tell you that nobody's filling in your shift! You can still come in for ten-thirty!"

"I-I can?" You asked. After an upbeat 'yeah!' filtered through your ears, you considered your options. Remaining in the serene, quiet confines of your car with only the downfall of rain to accompany you sounded like utter bliss, given how you felt. But you felt an internal kick up the backside which told you - no... demanded you to just get over this moping attitude of yours and look on the bright side. To get over the lack of closure and simply... move on.

Yeah... if he found out you were an utter train wreck thanks to the damage he inflicted; Katsuki Bakugou would probably revel in it. He had a history of gaining pleasure from other's misfortunes... or it was rumoured he did (during his younger years, anyway). You had never wanted to believe it but you couldn't find a reason to refute it anymore. After all you had been through, it seemed to fit his character and personality more than ever. So with that fact apparent, you held a firm forefront and searched for a determined tone, and made your answer to your friend.

"You betcha I'm coming in! I'll see you in half an hour!"

Too enthusiastic? Probably. Still, it was better than acting pessimistic and hopeless. No matter, however, because that was exactly the attitude Etsuko had been hoping for.

"Alrighty!" She exclaimed, smile audible in her voice from the other end. "I can't wait to get our dynamic duo going again! I've missed you!"

"Yeah, me too, 'Suko," You hummed in agreement.

"Great! Catch ya later my partner in crime,"

"Heh. You too, dumbass," You found a reason to smile from her childish behaviour, though your choice of wording seemed to hit a nerve. It did more than that, it practically reverted all that confidence and progress you had made in the last ten minutes of being on the phone. All from one innocent word that escaped your lips.

Dumbass.

That's what he used to call you.

The phone call had ended without you even noticing, your phone still pressed to your ear as a small buzz sounded into it. You stared dead ahead, flashes of all the times he had said that word to you running through your memory. It was his form of a pet name. Some might see it as a little degrading on the surface, but you never minded. Once you learned the deeper meaning of the name, it became something equivalent to the likes of 'Sunshine' or 'Angel'. If anything, you ended up preferring it to those sorts of nicknames. Hence why Katsuki Bakugou had called you it on so many occasions.

No. Stop it. You can't let something like that bother you. Not after the efforts you just went to. Stop. Shaking yourself out of it, you returned to reality and permitted your phone to drop onto your lap. Your hand once holding it gripped onto your steering wheel, the other following shortly behind to do the same.

"I love you too, even if you're a dumbass,"

That rung in your head one final time, tormenting and mocking your present. The things you'd be willing to do to hear him say that to you one last time...

"No," You firmly shook your head, banging it lightly against the headrest to return yourself to reality. An attempt to knock those words to the back of your mind where you could lock them in a securely tight safe for the rest of eternity. "Just... just don't think about it. Easy. Just focus on what you're doing now," You reached for your keys which sat in the ignition, taking hold and turning them ever so slightly. Your car stirred to life, engine rumbling and the dials lighting up in a form of warm greeting. "You're going to work. No more feeling sorry for yourself,"

No more feeling sorry for yourself.

Your eyes set themselves on the road ahead. The vacant, dark and solitary road that didn't wait for you to make your decision. Life moved on after all, so if you were going to do anything - it was to catch up and take the winning lead.

So despite your circumstances; your inner desires and wishes and begs for what you wanted back but to no avail would ever get, you pulled out of your parking space (which had long exceeded the time limit, thankfully nobody was around to see) that drowned in pitiful rains of the night, and began to make your way down the street. In search of a place better than the one you were trapped in.

An endless road that wasn't all that clear, you were going to tackle it. Not for anyone else, unlike the last time you met difficulty and hardships. No, no, no. This time it was for your sake. All the mental energy to recover and become a better version of yourself, in the endgame it was all for you. You could push past all the deceit and lies you had been told and you could push past your normality which was him. Katsuki Bakugou. The man that hurt you as nobody had ever done before. You could create new normality without him.

A thought of forever he created and destroyed, resorted to driving alone past his street, never to be thought of again.

[writingtoforgetreality]

Power Broker - TFATWS Rewrite Chapter Three (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

[Marvel-Masterlist], [TFATWS Rewrite-Masterlist]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Summary: Zemo & you had a history. That did not stop you from following him. Much to your dismay. Madripoor. That was where you were headed. You would see what awaited you there.

Words: 11,979

Warnings: language, violence, injury, blood, angst, sarcasm, humor, sass, Zemo being himself (help, I love him), cute & protective Bucky, fluff, spoilers for TFATWS, (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Berlin. You would so regret the decision to really do this. It was no secret that you did not agree with Bucky’s plan. At all. The three of you followed a guard down a white hallway. The atmosphere here was everything but comfortable.

“He’s just through that corridor.” his thick, German accent came through. He left the three of you alone.

“Alright, I’m gonna go in alone.” Bucky started. Your eyes widened at that.

“Why?” thank you, Sam. An explanation was needed here.

“’Cause you’re an Avenger. You know how he feels about that.” you silently observed the conversation between the two men in front of you. If it got out of hand, you would intervene.

“It’s not like you two were known for frocklin’ in the sun together.” if it were not for the situation to be this serious you would have actually laughed at that. Not the right timing.

“He was obsessed with HYDRA. We have a history together. Trust me. I got it.” the moment Bucky wanted to walk away, you spoke up.

“Uh, I hate to interrupt…” you stopped briefly when two pairs of eyes stared at you. “But you’re not the only person to have a history with him, you know that, right?” your eyebrows raised in question. The super soldier simply rolled his eyes at you. He knew what you were trying to do.

“You don’t like him.” Bucky reasoned.

“And you do?” you shot back, arms crossing over your chest. He sighed out & put his hands on his hips. “That’s what I thought. Let me come with you.” slow & steady words left you.

“I won’t let you, (Y/N). That’s something I have to do alone.” your mouth opened to argue with him. Something he stopped right away. “And you can’t change my mind.”

“Sam.” you eyed the man next to you, waiting for him to reveal his opinion. He simply shrugged & motioned for Bucky to go ahead. Great. Back facing them, you took deep breaths to calm yourself down. Sometimes, you were so done with both of them.

“Why did you let him go in alone, Sam?” you started the conversation when Bucky was out of view.

“Because it was his idea in the first place.” he gestured.

“Sure & it was such an incredible idea that we didn’t even have to overthink it.” rolling your eyes, Sam kept staring at you in confusion.

“Wait…You said you had a history with Zemo.” Sam pieced everything together. At least he thought he did.

“So?”

“You didn’t like…fondue, did you?” Sam was careful while asking this question.

“Oh my God, could you not?” throwing your arms up, you covered your face with your hands. “No, we did not, Sam.”

“What kinda history do you two have then?” you could not even blame him for being curious. If you were in his position, you would ask the exact same question.

“It’s not important. Just…don’t bring it up again, okay? Please.” your (Y/E/C) eyes locked with his. The sincerity was shown through them. Whatever happened, Sam did not want to mess with you. After all, it looked like it really bothered you.

“What are you talking about you wanna break Zemo outta jail? Where the hell are we, Buck? Have you lost your mind?” the three of you were walking inside a barely lit room & Sam did not take the news of Bucky wanting Zemo’s help all too well. Was it the right time to tell him “I told you so.”? Whatever, you decided to keep it to yourself.

“We have no leads, no moves, nothing.” Bucky pointed out. Yeah, because you had not had enough time for research.

“Yeah, what we have is one of the most dangerous men of the world behind bars.” Sam clapped back.

“If you think Zemo is one of the most dangerous men then I’m really sorry for you, Wilson. Clearly you’ve never really met him.” your flashlight was not helping you to find your way through this room a lot.

“It depends, (Y/N)…” Bucky mumbled. “But we also have eight super soldiers on the loose.”

“Zemo is gonna mess with our minds. Especially yours. No offense. And (Y/N)? After our little talk, I don’t know what to think anymore.” Wilson looked into your eyes, as much as it was possible in the dark.

“Didn’t I tell you to not bring it up?” you growled out quietly.

“What are you talking about?” Bucky turned around to face you two. A shrug was enough to brush him off for now. Though, you expected more questions to follow soon. Finally, light illuminated the room & you could abandon your flashlights. “Super soldiers go against everything he believes in. He is crazy, but he still has a code.”

“Bold of you to assume that this man believes in anything, Buck.” looking around, it seemed like you were in some sort of a garage? You were not entirely sure.

“What (Y/N) said. I’ve been on the wrong side of that code, guys, & so have you.” Sam tried to talk some sense into Bucky but it was useless. “He blew up the U.N., he killed King T’Chaka & framed you for it, Bucky. Did you forget that? You think the Wakandans forgot about it?” he had a point. “It’s a rhetorical question. They didn’t. I know why this matters to you, but, come on, it’s pushing you off the deep end.”

“Sam, we don’t know how they’re gettin’ the serum. We don’t even know how many of them there are.”

“Because we haven’t had enough time to research.” you chimed in. “We just need some more time.”

“More time won’t change anything.” Bucky raised his voice slightly. Not enough for you to flinch back, though. “Look, let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

“This doesn’t sound good.” you said at the same time as Sam spoke up.

“What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.” Bucky stated. Raising your eyebrows, you saw right through him.

“That’s his “I did something.” stare, Sam.” you leaned closer to him to whisper in his ear. Your voice got a little louder again. “So Bucky, tell us what you didn’t do, will ya?”

“The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element. Now, in this lockup, it’s nine to one, prisoners to guards. And if two prisoners start fighting, then the protocol says four guards have to respond.”

“So why would two prisoners randomly start fighting at that moment?” Sam asked another good question.

“If I’m being honest, I don’t think I even wanna know.” you shook your head & put your face into one of your hands.

“Who knows? There could be many reasons…” Bucky’s look left you with an uneasy feeling.

“Bucky.” you let out a warning growl. Whatever would follow, it would be everything but good.

“But the point is, these things escalate. Lockdown procedures would have to be initiated, & with all those bodies flying around left & right, wouldn’t be hard to slip down a hallway or two. And if the fire alarm got tripped while the prisoners were being separated…someone could use the chaos to their advantage.” Bucky finished.

“Um, I don’t know about you, but the fact that you could describe all of it so detailed without even having to stop for a second to think about your next words is truly scary.” your eyes rolled because deep down, you knew that this was not just hypothetical.

“I have to agree with (Y/N). This is unnatural. Are you…And where are we, man?” at least Sam was on your side this time. A door opening in the distance caught your attention. A threat? But before you could start your flames, a familiar face showed up. Oh no.

“Woah.” Sam breathed out, immediately going into fight mode.

“No, listen.” but Sam did not listen. You, on the other hand, tried to stay hidden behind the two men.

“What are you doin’ here?” really, Sam? Bucky literally told you like a minute ago. Sam went to attack but he was held back.

“I didn’t tell ‘cause I knew you guys wouldn’t let this happen.” damn right he was. You would have done everything to stop it.

“What did you do?” Sam’s voice got a few octaves higher.

“We need him, Sam.” scoffing quietly at that, you eyed the situation carefully. It was not part of your plan to meet him again. Not ever, for that matter.

“You’re going back to prison!” Sam was really heated right now, you could tell.

“If I may…” there was his voice. The one you had not heard in so long.

“NO!” Sam & Bucky yelled in union.

“Apologies.” you were pretty sure that they did not hear it. Slowly, you made your way out of your hiding spot. Zemo saw a dark figure approaching, silhouette way too familiar. His eyes widened at your sight. Nobody told him that you were here as well.

“(Y/N)?” his voice, barely above a whisper, broke the two arguing men out of their discussion.

“Zemo.” you nodded at him, feet dragging you closer to Bucky where you felt safe.

“Long time no see.” he stood his ground, sensing that you were uncomfortable. Because, unfortunately, he knew you better than you would have liked to admit.

“Not long enough.” you countered & he scoffed at you. “Hey Bucky?” he turned to you, that threatening smile on your face. The one everyone you were close to feared. “What the actual fuck?”

“(Y/N).” Bucky sighed in frustration. “Let me explain.”

“Sure thing, go ahead…”

“When Steve refused to sign the Sokovia Accords, you backed him. You broke the law & you stuck your neck out for me.” the super soldier made sure that his words reached the both of you.

“And I would do it again. As would Sam.” you answered without a second thought. Yet, his next words caught you off guard.

“I’m asking you to do it again.” Bucky’s voice got lower, signaling that he was serious about this.

“I didn’t mean it so figuratively, dude.” you desperately breathed out.

“I really think I’m invaluable…” but you gave Zemo no chance to finish whatever thought his sick brain had formed.

“Shut the fuck up.” you snarled through gritted teeth. His arms raised in defense.

“Okay.” Sam stated after a few seconds of silence.

“Okay? What do you mean “Okay.”?” you expected a lot of things but you definitely did not expect Sam to be okay with this. “It’s bad enough I have to work with you two children. But him? Don’t do this to me, guys.” you whined like you were a little child yourself. Sam rolled his eyes at your behavior.

“How kind of you, (Y/N).” Zemo sarcastically added.

“If we do this, you don’t make a move without our permission.” Wilson looked at him with that stare of his that usually made you shut up in an instant.

“Sam? You do know who you’re talking to, right?” one of your eyebrows raised.

“Yes, I do.”

“Good, just wanted to check.” your tight lipped smile did not need another comment.

“Okay, Zemo, where do we start?”

“(Y/N)?” Can we talk for a second?” Bucky dragged you away before you could give him a proper response. When he was sure that neither Sam nor Zemo could hear you anymore, he continued. “What’s going on?”

“Funny enough, I wanted to ask you the exact same question.” your sarcasm was more than obvious right now.

“You & Zemo?” his face was incredibly close to yours but not in a good way. No, he was mad at you even though you should be the one being mad at him.

“I didn’t help him break out, don’t you dare blame me now.” you shoved him back, not with much force, just enough so he stepped back.

“What kinda history do you have?” his voice was a little softer now, though you did not know why.

“There’s a reason I haven’t told you about any of this, Buck.” sighing exaggeratedly. “We have a history. So what? I don’t like him, okay? I don’t. Why do you care anyway?”

“So there was nothing between you two?”

“What the hell? No, of course not. Sam asking that? Okay, I get it. But you? Do you really think so little of me? Bucky, since when don’t you trust me?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. Just, you’ve only mentioned him to me a few times.”

“And I have damn good reasons why.” one of your hands made its way to Bucky’s shoulder in order to catch his attention. When his eyes met yours, you continued. “You have your demons to fight & I have mine. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be alright.” you wanted to turn around & head back to the others but his metal hand grabbed your wrist to stop you.

“You can talk to me, (Y/N). Whatever it is, I’m here for you, too.” a warm smile was enough for him to let you go. Motioning for Bucky to follow you, he trailed behind to go back to Sam & Zemo. Hopefully they had not killed each other yet.

“So our first move is grand theft auto?” Sam questioned when the four of you made your way into a big hall filled with cars. So many cars. Why the hell were there so many cars?

“These are mine. Collected by family over the generations.” Zemo explained. Sure thing. Sometimes you forgot that he was a Baron. “I spent years hunting people HYDRA recruited to recreate the serum. Right, (Y/N)?” he sent you a wink which made you roll your eyes. He pushed your buttons & he damn well knew it. Your heartrate picked up its pace, past memories were flooding your brain. The sudden headache made you stop in your tracks. Bucky turned around when he did not see you walking next to him anymore. He approached you, squeezed your shoulders & tried to get you to look up. It took a few moments but when your head snapped up, a small smile was plastered on your face. A tired one. Bucky could tell as well. Nodding briefly, you began walking again. This time, Bucky stayed close.

“Because once it’s out there, someone can create an army of people…” Zemo rummaged through one of his many cars, searching for God knew what. “…like the Avengers.”

“Remind me to kick your ass if you keep making these pauses for dramatical effect.” Sam & Bucky scoffed at your little threat.

“Almost feels like the good old days, doesn’t it?” he made his way over to you. Instinctively, you scooted closer to Bucky’s side. Getting the message, he wrapped one of his arms around your middle. “I ended the Winter Soldier program once before. I have no intention to leave my work unfinished. Not like I left yours, (Y/N).” he teased. Your jaw clenched & you tried your hardest to keep your comments to yourself.

“Can you just cut to the chase?” Bucky spoke up with his deep voice. Zemo looked at you guys & explained further.

“To do this, we’ll have to scale a ladder of lowlifes.”

“We’ll join the party. We’ve already started.” Sam joined the conversation.

“First stop is a woman named Selby. Mid-level fence I still have a line on. From there, we climb.” Zemo walked away, ignoring you entirely. Glancing between Sam & Bucky, you noticed that they were on board with whatever Zemo had planned.

“Oh. Okay. Great.” mumbling out, you followed Zemo & left the others alone. You hated everything about this.

Zemo led you to an airport. Sort of. His private jet. Yes, apparently his Baron title meant a big deal. As an Avenger, you did not even have things similar to what he had. Not that you were complaining. It sure as hell fed his ego, though. Especially with this coat of his that made him look like he really was important.

“So all this time you’ve been rich?” Sam gestured with his arms. Gesturing to the huge ass plane right in front of you.

“I’m a Baron, Sam.” because he could not see you, you mimicked his words in a teasing manner. Bucky noticed & tried to hide his laugh with a cough. Without luck. Zemo did not seem to mind. “My family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country.”

“Aw, bummer.” you joked which earned you a death glare from him. Zemo greeted the man waiting for you in Russian. Some words you understood. You grew up with HYDRA, after all.

“Please.” Zemo motioned for you all to follow him inside the plane. Truthfully, you had a bad feeling about this. Somehow, the blind trust Sam & Bucky placed in him left you angry. They knew what he was capable of.

“By the way, I think it’s not fair that I have to sit opposite of him.” your finger pointed to Zemo but your words were directed at Sam & Bucky. The Baron chuckled at you.

“Apologies if that’s a little warm, the fridge is out.” was it his butler? He was now. “But I will see if there is some good food in the galley.” these really were first world problems. Not. Zemo answered something in Sokovian. Something that even made you laugh.

“Wait…What did he say?” Bucky asked you with wide eyes.

“He just confessed that he would like to have your hair, Buck.” Zemo did not correct you but simply chuckled at your words.

“You don’t know what it’s like to be locked in a cell. Oh. That’s right. You do. (Y/N)?” he eyed you, looking at you expectantly.

“What is it my dear Baron?” you rolled your eyes when you answered him.

“Oh, I get all giddy when you call me that…You know, we need to talk.”

“Oh, do we now?” tilting your head, you hoped he would not keep talking. You knew how this would end.

“Maybe not in their company.” he shrugged his shoulders.

“Maybe not at all.” you snapped back with venom in your voice. If he did not stop talking then you would make him shut up. Luckily, Sam came to your aid.

“Why don’t you tell us about where we’re going?” took him long enough to ask that. Hell, you were already on your way.

“I’m sorry. I was just fascinated by this.” Zemo opened a book, focusing on whatever words he was reading. “I don’t know what to call it, but this part seems to be important. Who is Nakajima?” immediately, you jumped up & ripped the small book out of his hands. Handing it to Bucky, you silently checked if he was alright. A small nod confirmed that he was. For now. Your face got closer to Zemo’s.

“You do something like that again & I’ll castrate you with my bare hands. Flames included.” his eyes got a little wider in fear. He had respect but he did not want to show it. “Got it?” he nodded frantically & you shoved him back into his chair, sitting down yourself.

“I’m sorry.” well, at least he was apologizing. Whether he meant it or not did not matter. “I understand that list of names. People you’ve wronged as the Winter Soldier.”

“Don’t push it.” Bucky warned him.

“I’ve seen that book.” Sam joined the conversation. “It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What’d you think?” risking a glance at Bucky, he looked outside of the window. Seemingly done with everything right now. Similar emotions were rushing through you.

“I like ‘40s music, so…”

“Oh, stop it, Buck. I’ve seen you throwing it down to Beyoncé.” you teased. Sam & Zemo laughed while Bucky only scoffed.

“I don’t mind Beyoncé.” he defended himself.

“You didn’t like Trouble Man?” Sam acted as if the world was ending. Again.

“I liked it.” he countered.

“It is a masterpiece, James. Complete. Comprehensive.” because apparently, Zemo thought everyone cared about his opinion. “It captures the African-American experience.”

“He’s out of line, but he’s right.” Sam had to admit. “It’s great. Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

“True.” you added quietly.

“I like Marvin Gaye.” Bucky confessed.

“But?” you asked.

“No but.” the super soldier breathed out.

“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.” Sam was right. The thought brought back a lot of memories.

“You must have really looked up to Steve.” Zemo really was one to push buttons.

“Zemo. Shut it.” your warning growl was deep.

“You’re very protective over James, (Y/N).” he noted.

“So what? You jealous?” you asked, your tone teasing. He simply shook his head & let the topic die. Bucky eyed you carefully when you talked to Zemo. It was true, you were protective whenever it came to him. But that was your personality, right? That was what he told himself. Zemo directed the conversation to Steve again.

“I realized something when I met him. The danger with people like him, America’s super soldiers, is that we put them on pedestals.”

“Watch your step, Zemo.” Sam’s warning would not change anything. After all, you had tried before.

“They become symbols. Icons.” Zemo did not stop. “And then we start to forget about their flaws. From there, cities fly, innocent people die. Movements are formed, wars are fought. You remember that, right?” his words were directed at Bucky. Your hand was held out for him to grab. While he eyed it, he did not take it. So you retreated it again. Probably too many people here to watch, you figured. “As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad icon. Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull? That is why we’re going to Madripoor.” huh, Madripoor. You had never heard of that before. Was it stupid to follow Zemo there? Most definitely.

“What’s up with Madripoor? You guys talk about it like it’s Skull Island.” sometimes you really appreciated Sam for keeping the cool during such situations. You let your emotions drive your actions most of the time. Something you needed to improve, you knew that.

“It’s an island nation in the Indonesian archipelago.” looked like Bucky knew about this place. “It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s.”

“It’s kept its lawless ways.” your head turned to stare at Zemo again. Lawless? Great. “But we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves. James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.” glancing between him & Bucky, you scoffed in hopes that this was a big joke.

“No. No, no, no. Bucky, you won’t go with that, right?” but he only shot you a sympathetic smile. Sam only shrugged. Well, apparently all the guys were against you.

“(Y/N). I expect you will not be happy about the role you have to play.” Zemo’s eyes bore into yours. They held something that left you uneasy. “You will have to become my partner in order to not blow up our cover.” please, let him be joking. The seriousness showed you that he was not. Bucky beat you to speaking up.

“Not gonna happen. Don’t even think about it.”

“Funny how (Y/N) doesn’t want you to play the Winter Soldier & you don’t want her to be my pretend-wife.”

“Guess what, Zemo? I don’t wanna be your pretend-wife.”

“I guess you don’t have much choice.” Zemo stated with a certainty. He was right. You hated it but he was right. A look at Sam & Bucky was enough. It was set. Zemo’s plan was about to happen.

Madripoor was colorful. If it were not for the fact that they lived without any laws here, you would have enjoyed it. Sam changed into a red suit, pretending to be someone called Smiling Tiger. Bucky pretended to be the Winter Soldier. Zemo’s clothes were the same. You wore a beautiful gown that matched Zemo’s colors. It hugged your every curve perfectly. The moment the super soldier first saw you in it took his breath away. You were drop dead gorgeous. Every day, actually. But in this dress? Damn, he was at a loss of words. The four of you walked the streets just like that. In this country, nobody cared. Nobody noticed.

“We have to do something about this. I’m the only one who looks like a pimp.” Sam complained about his outfit.

“I don’t know, I think people will dig that.” you nudged him with your elbow. This earned you a light groan & a laugh.

“Only an American would assume a fashion-forward Black man looks like a pimp.” sometimes, you thought Zemo tried everything to sound intellectual. Tried was the word. “You look exactly like the man you’re supposed to be playing. The sophisticated, charming African rake named Conrad Mack, aka the Smiling Tiger.”

“Sophisticated & charming.” you chuckled. “Not words I’d use to describe you, Wilson.” Sam rolled his eyes at you.

“Smiling Tiger. He even has a bad nickname.” Sam complained. But when he looked at the picture Zemo had shown him, he realized why he had to play pretend to be that guy. “Hell, he does look like me, though.”

“Show me.” Sam held the picture in front of your face. “Damn, you sure that’s not you? Secret identity, maybe?” you wiggled your brows & earned a playful slap from Sam.

“(Y/N), you cannot act like this here.” Zemo held your wrist to make you stop in your tracks. “You are supposed to be the Baron’s dame. Let your guard down & this mission will be for nothing.” usually, you did not care about other people’s opinions. Therefore, Zemo’s words did not affect you at all. Bucky pulled you away from him & shot him a stern stare.

“Stop. Threatening. Her.” Bucky growled. “She’s not new to this job. She knows the way.” Zemo’s hands raised & he took a step back, signaling that he would not do this again.

“You smell this?” Zemo spoke up all of a sudden.

“Yeah, what is that? Acid?” Sam asked curiously.

“Madripoor.” wow, what a great answer. Now you knew so much more. You had a lot of sarcastic comebacks but you decided to keep your comments to yourself. “No matter what happens, we have to stay in character. (Y/N).” Zemo held his hand out for you to take. Rolling your eyes, you grabbed it. His body pulled closer to yours & you wished it would be Bucky who held you close. It would make everything a lot easier. Plastering on a big, fake smile, you tried your hardest to be what he wanted you to be. His dame. You would kill him later, for sure. A car approached you & the four of you got in. Zemo, pretending to be the gentleman, opened the door for you & helped you in. His hands holding your hip in place. He was so dead. After this mission, you would so kill him. His smirk showed you that he knew exactly what he was doing.

Nope. You did not like this town. At all. Loud music. Drugs everywhere. Scary people wherever you looked. And to top everything off, you had to pretend to be utterly in love with Zemo. Now that you were thinking about it, you would have preferred talking to him instead of this whole undercover thing. The four of you found yourselves in the Princess Bar. The name itself would have been repulsive enough for you. But it was all for the job. All to get the job done. Zemo started speaking in Russian. You understood most of it. Someone close to you whispered something about the Winter Soldier being here. They knew him. Of course. People like them did know him. You made your way over to the bar. Your body being uncomfortably close to Zemo’s. Bucky had a role to play but you knew him better than that. Something behind his eyes told you that he hated this as much as you did. Not just him pretending to be the killer he had once been but also you having to play the Baroness.

“Hello gentlemen, m’lady. Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.” the bartender greeted you.

“His plans changed. We have business to do with Selby.” Zemo explained.

“The usual?” obviously, the question referred to your drinks of choice. Unsure how to answer, you let the guys do the talking. In the corner of your eyes, you noticed Sam nodding. Bucky kept his composure. Your eyes widened when the bartender grabbed a very much alive & moving snake from a jar, put it down on the counter & went straight to cutting it open. It took everything in you to not gag but you had to act like none of this faced you.

“Ah.” you assumed Zemo wanted to ease the tension. “Smiling Tiger, your favorite.” oh no, poor Sam. You averted your gaze from the scene in front of you. Instead, your eyes bore into the side profile of the man hugging you close.

“I love these.” Sam commented, referring to the drink in his hand. If all of this was over, you would tease the shit out of him. Now was not the right timing, though.

“Cheers, Conrad.” Zemo clinked his glass with Wilson, then moved on to you. Honestly, you had no idea what kind of liquid your glass held. You knew better than to ask questions. Fingers crossed Sam could down his drink without making it look suspicious. Someone tapped your shoulder. An action which made you turn around. Zemo turned around as well, squeezing your hips as he did so. He was walking on very thin ice. Yet, your smile not even once faltered.

“I got word from up high.” the man talking to you was scary. It would not have bothered you as much if you knew you could use your powers. “You ain’t welcome here.”

“I have no business with the Power Broker, but if he insists, he can either come & talk to me…” he then gestured to Bucky who stood close by, jaw clenched. It had to be hard for him. After all, he wanted to erase the Winter Soldier from his mind. He was the main cause of his nightmares. Zemo would regret his decision to play pretend once you could let your guard down. “Or bring Selby for a chat.” that seemed to do the job. The man left you guys alone again.

“A power broker? Really?” Bucky questioned.

“Every kingdom needs its king.” you had to keep your comment about him killing King T’Chaka to yourself. “Let’s just pray we stay under his radar.”

“Do you know him?” Sam chimed in.

“Only by reputation. In Madripoor he is judge, jury, & executioner.” suddenly, Zemo began talking in Russian, clearly addressing Bucky. All you could make out was that he was supposed to attack. No. No, no, no. But it was too late. Bucky went straight into action. Fighting his way through the bar. People surrounding you screamed. Some of them put their phones out & you would have loved to just burn the place down. If these videos ever make it to the States? Only the Gods knew what it would do to Bucky. It kind of scared you that the super soldier could pretend so easily. Though, you knew that deep down, he hated every single second of it. With his entire heart. No matter what, you had to talk to him about this later.

“I will kill you for this.” you whispered into Zemo’s ear. A gentle smile on your face when you pulled away again. A smirk was the only response you got.

“Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form.” he winked at you. Your jaw clenching was the only way to show how incredibly angry you were. Guns around you started clicking & you turned around only to be met with tons of people circling you. Zemo pulled you closer once again. His next words were directed at you & Sam.

“Stay in character or the whole bar turns on us.” what a reassuring thing. Zemo praised Bucky in Russian.

“Selby will see you now.” the bartender gave you an approving nod.

“Thank you.” the Baron said. Bucky let go of the person he had held down only a second ago.

“Are you okay?” you could not help but ask, of course only in a whisper. Bucky would not meet your eyes & just let out a deep breath. Maybe he would give you a proper answer later on.

“You should know, Baron.” the woman who you assumed to be Selby spoke up. “People don’t just come into my bar & make demands.”

“Not a demand. An offer.” he made it obvious to grab your hand & intertwine his fingers with yours. You offered the best heart eyes you could muster.

“A lot has changed since you were here last. Who’s that lovely lady by your side?” she eyed you up & down.

“My Baroness.” Zemo kept it simple, thank the Gods. At least one move you were alright with. Your warm smile made her smile in return.

“By the way, I thought you were rotting away in a German prison. How did you escape?” excellent question. You knew someone who could recall the story very detailed. Zemo sat on a chair & pulled you on his lap. Your jaw clenched but you would not let your smile fall. You did notice Bucky staring at you closely. Shooting him a quick glance, you hoped it was enough to let him know that you were fine but that you were not liking it one bit.

“People like us always find a way, don’t we? Darling?” he squeezed your hip, motioning for you to answer as well. The nickname he gave you? Oh, he would so get punched later.

“Most definitely, my Baron.” a soft kiss was planted on your cheek & you saw red. By the way Bucky’s fist clenched, it was obvious that he was slowly losing his temper.

“I’m sure you’ve already figured out what I’m here for.” his eyes directed to Selby.

“You’re taller than I’d heard, Smiling Tiger.” she did not even look at Sam, yet her words were meant to reach him. “What’s the offer?”

“Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum.” Zemo did not waste any more time. He gently moved you off of him & got up, walking over to where Bucky stood. “And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want.” one of his hands brushed along Bucky’s chin & if it were not for the part you were playing, you would have punched him in his face. Flames added & all.

“Now that’s the Zemo I remember.” Selby seemed totally on board with that deal. “I’m glad I decided not to kill you immediately.” damn, she wanted to kill him back in the days? Why the hell did she not? “Yeah, you were right to come to me. Arrogant, but right.” again, Zemo sat back down, pulling you close to his body. And you could do nothing but obey. “The super-soldier serum is here in Madripoor. Dr. Wilfred Nagel is the man you wanna thank. Or…condemn, depending on what side of this you’re on. The Power Broker had him working on the serum, but…things didn’t go as planned.”

“Is Nagel still in Madripoor?” Zemo wanted to know.

“Oh. The bread crumbs you can have for free, but the bakery is gonna cost you, Baron.” great, so that was not going the way you thought it would. “And before you get all cute, don’t think you can find Nagel without me.”

A cell phone vibrating caught everyone’s attention. Looking over to Sam, you realized that it was his. Shit. Whoever was calling him did not know about this little undercover mission. Selby demanded him to answer it & Sam had no choice but to. On speaker, of course. It was Sarah. Wilson’s sister. No matter how hard Sam tried, in the end, it blew your cover. Selby got shot the second she ordered to kill you all. Confusion washed over you, Zemo pushed you behind him. Bucky was right there & covered your body with his, making sure nobody had a clear sight on you. Though you had him protecting you, something hard hit the back of your head & you were soon embraced in darkness.

“So what the hell happened to her?” you could make out a female voice. It sounded familiar but you could not quite tell who it belonged to. Your eyelids were too heavy & it was a struggle to open them. Yet, you kept trying. After all, you still were not sure if your were safe or not. Last time you checked, you were in danger with people pointing their guns at you. How you got here? Somewhere inside on a couch? No clue. Groaning slightly, you found it hard to move. Finally opening your eyes, you were met with a certain super soldier smiling down at you. Wait a second. Were you laying in Bucky’s lap? Thank the Gods your head was killing you still or you would have been embarrassed to be in this position.

“Good morning, doll. You okay?” when the others noticed Bucky talking to you, they moved over to where you were. When you struggled sitting up, the super soldier went to help you. One of his arms stayed around your body. Looking around the room, you saw Sam, Zemo & Sharon staring at you. Sharon? What?

“Sharon?” your eyes widened, she simply shot you a warm smile.

“Nice to see you again, (Y/N).” she nodded at you.

“Um, what-where…how…okay. What the fuck?” Sam & Bucky chuckled at your confused state.

“I saved your asses. Well, not entirely. Bucky saved your ass & then I found you guys & then I saved your asses.” Sharon explained.

“Some asshole punched his gun against your head. Buck picked you up & we ran outta there. Now we’re here.” Sam joined in. Nodding in understanding, you thanked Sharon first, then looked over at Bucky & smiled brightly. That was enough for him to know that you were thankful.

“And Zemo’s still alive?” you teased, raising your eyebrows.

“For now.” Sharon mumbled & you broke out in laughter.

“No, wait. I told him I’d kill him. Please let me do it.” you eyed the Baron who simply sat there in silence, observing the conversation from afar.

“What’s going on, Sharon? You don’t ever wanna come back home?” Sam asked while picking out an outfit to wear.

“We miss you.” you simply stated.

“They’ll lock me up if I step foot back in the States.” well, she had a point but that did not have to happen. “Madripoor doesn’t allow extradition.”

“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t call, but after the Blip & the chaos, I just…” Sharon interrupted his rambling.

“Look, you know the whole hero thing is a joke, right? I mean, the way you gave up that shield, deep down, you must know it’s all hypocrisy.”

“He knows. And not so deep down.” for the first time since you woke up, Zemo spoke up. Nobody had asked him but you did not want to tell him that. All you did was sending him a death stare.

“Sharon. I did call. You never picked up.” you looked over from the couch to where she & Sam stood.

“I know you called.”

“Oh, okay. Great.” you mumbled, head hanging low.

“It wasn’t exactly easy, (Y/N). If there was a chance, I would’ve called back. You know that, right?” her eyes met yours & behind them, you saw the sincerity. A short nod was enough to drop the conversation for now. “By the way, how is the new Cap?”

“Oh my…please don’t ever mention that asshole again.” groaning, you put your head into your hands.

“Don’t get me started.” Bucky added. Sharon scoffed at your responses.

“Please. You buy into all that stars & stripes bullshit.” she walked over to her couch where Bucky & you were still sitting close to each other. “Before you were his pet psychopath, you were Mr. America! Cap’s best friend.”

“Wow. She’s kind of awful now.” Bucky leaned closer to your ear & whispered to you. Chuckling quietly, you clapped back a little.

“Not cool, Sharon. I’m being serious.” she rolled her eyes at you. A smirk formed on your face. You knew she was joking, but still.

“Karli Morgenthau & at least seven others have taken the serum.” Sam fixed the shirt he just put on.

“You guys really should steer clear of all of this for your own safety.” Sharon shook her head.

“We know it’s a risk, but we won’t leave until we find the one who cracked the code.”

“We got a name. Wilfred Nagel.” the super soldier followed.

“Nagel works for the Power Broker.” Sharon got up & walked across the room.

“We need your help, Sharon.” Sam admitted. “I can get your name cleared.”

“You haggling with my life?” she poured herself a drink. A drink would do you some good, too. But because of the headache you were still experiencing, you decided to not ask for one.

“Not like that.” Sam’s eyes softened.

“I don’t buy that. You pretending like you can clear my name. (Y/N)’s name got cleared because of what now? Oh, right. Because nobody knows she used to work for HYDRA. Because nobody has read her file. Imagine if things were different. What would her situation be like, huh?”

“Thanks for dragging me into this convo, Sharon.” a tight lipped smile was sent her way. Bucky placed his hand on your shoulder & squeezed a little.

“I wasn’t all that involved in clearing (Y/N)’s name. She did most of it herself.” Sam made sure to add & you showed your gratitude by a small but present smile. “Okay, maybe it is hypocrisy. Maybe you’re right. What happened to you. But I’m willing to try if you are. They cleared the bionic staring machine, & he killed almost everybody he’s met.”

“Damn, Wilson. You’re getting better with nicknames. If you keep going like that, I will have to start a small book & write them all down.” you joked. Even Bucky chuckled. Not much but still.

“I don’t trust charity.” Sharon ignored your little banter.

“Alright, a deal then.” Sam really cared about her otherwise he would have stopped trying to convince Sharon by now.  “You help us out, & I get your name cleared.” it took her a few moments but eventually, she shook hands with Wilson. So you had her on your side. Almost like the good old times.

“Well, I sell to some pretty connected people.” right, because apparently, you were unconscious when Sharon showed the guys around her art exhibition? That was what you made out. Though you had no idea what exactly they were talking about. “Lay low. Blend in. Enjoy the party. Try to stay outta trouble. I’ll see what I can find.”

“(Y/N)?” Zemo asked when Sharon exited the room. Bucky visibly tensed beside you. Clearly, he wanted to keep him as far away from you as possible. Especially after what happened at Selby’s. Bucky blamed Zemo for you getting hurt. Because if the super soldier was close to you, you would not have to deal with a pretty bad headache right now.

“What, Zemo?” you snarled.

“I asked you earlier today. Can we talk?”

“No.” Bucky answered so quickly, you barely had time to register the question.

“I believe the lady can speak for herself.” Zemo stood up, holding his hand out for you to take. Shooting Bucky a quick glance, your eyes told him that you would be fine.

“The lady can. You got five minutes.” ignoring his hand, you got up yourself, stopping briefly to get used to the feeling of standing. Your head was pulsing. Bucky went to steady you by holding onto your waist. When the dark spots blurring your vision disappeared, you assured Bucky that you were okay. His titled head showed his uncertainty. Nevertheless, he let you go.

Zemo & you were outside on a balcony. The chill air of Madripoor around you. Propping your arms on the railing, you waited for him to speak up. It was him who wanted to talk to you.

“I am sorry.” his voice was quiet but loud enough for you to snap your head into his direction. Zemo. Apologizing? Maybe you were dreaming. “For not being cautious enough back there. And for what happened all those years ago.” you scoffed, averting your gaze again.

“Thanks for your apology.” your words were filled with sarcasm.

“I do mean it, (Y/N).” you could feel his eyes staring at you.

“Zemo.” you sighed. “What happened at Selby’s wasn’t your fault. It could’ve happened to all of us. And what you did back then…well, I think your apology comes a little too late. It’s in here, you know?” your finger pointed to your head, signaling that you meant it was a memory.

“What I did was wrong.”

“Took you a long time to figure that one out. It doesn’t matter anyway. You trapped me. Failed to extract my blood correctly to get to my special serum. And not in a way that was pleasant might I add.”

“And for that I truly am sorry.” his body turned towards yours. By now, you were looking straight into his eyes.

“I don’t hate you if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s not like I can change what happened. Will I ever stop disliking you? Highly unlikely. But I’m too tired to feel hatred. I’m too tired for revenge. I’m not the person I used to be. The girl who worked for HYDRA? She would’ve killed you without a second thought. Me? I’m far past killing when it’s not necessary. I know what it does to a person. So, thanks for apologizing, Zemo. Let’s just keep this simple, alright? We’re working together. That’s it. I don’t have to like you to do that & I don’t need your pity. Because this problem....” you gestured between the two of you. “Is in the past. And I’d highly appreciate it if you didn’t mention it to the others. Understood?” Zemo’s nod was your sign to head back inside, leaving him on the balcony alone. It was good to talk about it. Now you just hoped that Zemo would keep his mouth shut. After this mission, you would go your separate ways again. Nothing more, nothing less.

“You sure you’re okay?” Bucky walked over to you, making sure that you two were alone.

“I’m fine, Buck.” you breathed out. “Headache is almost gone. Give me another hour & I’ll be good to go.”

“I’m not talking about your head.” he sat down next to you, his arms on his knees.

“Why, thanks for your concern.” you chuckled sarcastically.

“No, I mean…Of course I care about your well-being but I know you well enough that a little hit on your head won’t kill you. Though I gotta admit that you scared me a bit back there.”

“Is that so?” your eyebrows raised, your head turning to your side.

“What I’m trying to say is…Zemo didn’t do anything, did he?” his eyes showed concern.

“He just wanted to apologize for what happened back at Selby’s.” it was not a lie. Not the entire truth either but enough for now.

“When you’re ready to tell me everything, you know where to find me. I won’t pressure you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. Come here.” he opened his arms & you gladly accepted his offer. So he saw through you. As he usually did. Maybe you would tell him what Zemo did all those years ago. Maybe when you were not as busy as right now. It was Bucky. He would never judge you. The exact opposite, actually. You were sure that he would help you through it. Because sharing your burdens made the weight lighter. In the future. That was what you told yourself. After everything decided to calm down a little more.

Again. Loud music. And it did not really help your head at all. Your headache had pretty much disappeared but the bass made it harder to keep it that way. Everyone around you was dancing, drinking alcohol & doing drugs. No, this was not your world. Zemo actually seemed to fit in quite well. You stood on the side, right next to Bucky. Mainly because he did not leave you out of his sight. Not after what Zemo pulled earlier.

“(Y/N), look.” Sam nudged you with his elbow. “Your husband has some moves. Damn.” he pointed over to the Baron who was throwing it down on the dancefloor.

“Could you please not call him my husband? It was hard enough not to kick him in the balls when he was all like “Oh, look at my Baroness.”. I still can’t believe I agreed on playing his pretend-wife.” you shook your head at the memory that was still so freshly present in your mind.

“I found it hilarious.” Sam admitted.

“Yeah? You know what I found hilarious?” Wilson motioned for you to continue. “When that bartender cut open the snake to put God knows what into your favorite drink.” Bucky & you laughed when Sam gagged at the drink he had to down.

“How was it like?” Bucky asked all of a sudden.

“How was what like?” your eyebrows furrowed.

“Pretending to be his wife.” there was something behind his eyes. Something you would describe as rage or maybe even…jealousy? Was he jealous? Deep down you hoped so.

“Like the worst nightmare ever.” that seemed to ease the tension a little, fortunately.

“Hey, guys. I found him.” Sharon joined you again.

“Here we go.” Sam eyed you & the four of you followed her.

It looked like you were at a harbor. Many containers. Whoever this guy was, he sure as hell did a great job with hiding here.

“Madripoor could give New York a run for its money.” Sam noted & you nodded at him.

“They know how to party.” Zemo added.

“With that bounty on your head, the longer you’re in Madripoor, the less likely you’re ever leaving.” Sharon kept looking at her phone for directions. Another thing you had found out was that after Selby was killed, there had been put a huge bounty on your head.

“What a comforting thing to say, Sharon.” you remarked with a hint of sarcasm & desperation.

“Welcome to Madripoor, (Y/N).” she met your eyes briefly, then added. “Alright. He’s in there. Container four-two-six-one” she gestured to a container that looked exactly like every other one around here. “I’ll keep an eye while you guys talk to Nagel. But hurry. We’re on burrowed time.” she handed each of you a little piece to put into your ear. That way, you were all connected together.

“Wait, wait, wait. Isn’t it better if I stayed with Sharon? I mean, It’s better to have two people out here, right?” you questioned.

“Not gonna happen.” Bucky grabbed your wrist to pull you closer to him. “You’re staying with me.”

“Your overprotective boyfriend’s right, (Y/N). I can handle myself just fine, trust me. You go talk to Nagel.” you rolled your eyes at her for calling Bucky your boyfriend.

“Aw, overprotective boyfriend. That’s cute.” Wilson joined the teasing. Of course he did.

“I hate you all so much.” you went ahead & approached the container, leaving the others behind. Bucky only clenched his jaw & shot Sam a look. One that made him snort. Then, he trailed behind you, making sure you were not too far away from where he was. So what? Maybe he was protective. It was not a bad thing. Besides, he saw what happened when he did not pay attention. No way in hell would he let you get into such a dangerous situation again. He actually told you to stay behind. After all, you were still hurt. Kind of. But you reassured him that you were fine. And they needed you.

Sam opened the heavy door, revealing a dark container.

“Hey, Sharon. You sure this is the right one?” Wilson asked. “It’s completely empty.”

“This looks like a trap, guys.” you noted.

“It has to be the right one. No trap.” Sharon told you over the coms. So you all entered. Staying behind a bit, you made sure to check the door. Just in case. If someone was about to trap you in, you would notice soon enough to stop it. Zemo turned on a flashlight, bringing a tiny bit of light inside the dark room. Was it a room? Container. Whatever, it did not exactly matter. Sam & Zemo checked out its entirety. Bucky & you still at the door. You heard something & saw the Baron pushing against the back of the container. A secret door. You should have guessed that. You pulled out your gun & followed them. Sam was first, then Zemo, then you & last but not least Bucky. That way, he could keep you in his sight. Music could be heard once you walked up the stairs. Yes, this looked like a lab. Gun at ready, you made sure it was clear. Bucky signaled you to stay behind him & you obeyed. If your were honest, you did not really feel safe without him around. So staying close to him was your preferred choice anyway. At the end of the room, a man was totally in his element, failing to notice your presence. Sam & Bucky nodded at each other, having another silent conversation. Then, they approached the man. You went ahead & stopped his music. That gained his attention. He turned around & faced you.

“Dr. Nagel?” Sam was the first to speak.

“Who are you? What do you want?” if this was the guy you were looking for then con-fucking-grats. He looked like he was insane.

“We know you created the super-soldier serum.”

“Get out of my lab.” he ordered but you stood your place. It took more for you to leave than such a little threat. Hell, it was not even a threat.

“I’m afraid we can’t do that, Doc.” your gun was still raised, not yet knowing the possible danger you were in. He went to walk away but stopped dead in his tracks when his eyes fell on Bucky.

“You know who he is, right?” Sam grabbed his arm to hold him in place. “This is Baron Zemo. And this…” he turned him so he had to look at you. “This is (Y/N). I know you’ve heard of her too, right?” as a form of greeting, you moved your fingers where blue sparks started forming. His eyes widened when he noticed. A smirk was making its way onto your face. Good thing if he was scared of you. “You seem like a pretty smart guy. So you better become conversational real quick.”

“How about a counter proposal?” that made your eyebrows raise. He was outmanned & he had the audacity to suggest that? Okay, strong move. “Make me a better offer & I’ll talk.” Sharon let you know that you had company. Maybe you should have stayed with her. Bucky noticed you wanting to move but his arm wrapped around your middle, holding you in place.

“No.” he whispered sternly & you rolled your eyes in annoyance. When you saw the look that he gave you, your gaze went down. No arguing with him, it seemed. Bucky then let you go & pushed Nagel onto a chair, gun pointing at his head. When he still did not start talking, Bucky gave a warning shot, right beside his head.

“Okay. Okay.” the doctor gave in. “I was brought into HYDRA’s Winter Soldier program to pick up their work after the five failed test subjects in Siberia. When HYDRA fell, I was recruited by the CIA. They had blood samples from an American test subject with semi-stable traces of serum in his system.” he was talking about Isaiah. “After much labor, I was able to isolate the necessary compounds in his blood.”

“Zemo? Maybe you should let him teach you how to successfully do that.” you mumbled, leaning a tiny bit closer to the Baron.

“Shut up.” he spat out, though there was something playful in his tone. Sam & Bucky looked at you confused but you simply brushed them off by a wave of your hand.

“I was a God.” he finished.

“Not really a Thor-like kinda guy but whatever helps you sleep at night.” you could not help but comment. The doctor then looked at you, clearly not pleased by what you said.

“I did what no other scientist since Erskine was able to do. But mine was going to be different. No clunky machines or jacked up bodies. Mine was going to be subtle, optimized, perfect.”

“How have we never heard about this?” excellent question, Sam. You had no clue.

“Because…Before I was able to complete my work, I turned to dust.”

“How unfortunate.” you rolled your eyes. Bucky silently told you to keep your comments to yourself. He only did that because he was concerned about you & did not want to risk anything. Nagel ignored you anyway.

“Then when I returned, it was five years later, the program had been abandoned, so I came here. The Power Broker was more than happy to fund the recreation of my work.”

“How many vials did you make?” Wilson kept asking the really important questions here.

“Twenty.” oh, awesome. “Karli Morgenthau stole those, so…I can only imagine what the Power Broker has planned for that poor girl.”

“Where’s Karli now?” you all silently agreed on letting Sam do the talking.

“I don’t know where she is.” oh, even more awesome. “But a couple of days ago, she called & asked if I could help someone named Donya Madani. Poor woman has tuberculosis. Typical of overpopulation in displacement camps like that.”

“Well, what happened to her?”

“Not my pig. Not my farm.”

“Is there any serum in this lab?” finally, Bucky asked a question. The gun pointed at the doctor’s head again when he did not answer right away.

“No.”

“And we’re just supposed to believe you?” you crossed your arms over your chest.

“If you believe me or not is none of my business.”

“Now what?” Bucky directed his words at you three. Shrugging your shoulders, you waited for the others to come up with a plan.

“Guys, we’re seriously outta time here.” you were surprised to see Sharon running in. Bruises were adorning her face. Whatever had happened out there, it was not pretty. The next thing you heard was a gunshot & when you looked over, you saw Zemo pointing a gun at a now dead Nagel. How the hell did he even get a gun?

“No!” Sam screamed. It was too late. Zemo was pushed against a wall by Wilson.

“What did you do?” Sharon breathed out, out of breath from her previous fights you assumed she had. The room around you exploded & you tried your best to shield your head with your arms. Bucky’s reflexes were faster than yours & he wrapped his arms around your form, his entire body keeping as much of the explosion from you as possible.

“You okay?” you did not hear his words but you read the question off of his lips. The ringing in your ears was almost too much. The headache that had faded, now being back worse than before. The lab would soon experience another explosion & the super soldier wasted no time in helping you get up. When your legs almost gave out, he picked you up bridal style & rushed out of the container with you in his arms. Your body was still weakened. But you had no time to think about the pain. There were people here who wanted you dead & you had to fight them. Whether you liked it or not.

“Alright! Wait for my signal!” Bucky yelled over the noises around you. Your hands were covered in blue flames, ready to attack. Ready to use your powers if needed. Fun fact: nobody waited for Bucky’s signal. Sam went off, shooting.

“Damn it. (Y/N), stay behind!” you were too focused to talk so you simply nodded. Hiding behind one of the containers. Still, you shot your gun. By now, you had realized that your powers were not really useful. Not in this moment. Your gun had to do. Your ears had not stopped ringing. The gunshots blazing around you did not help much after that explosion.

“Are you like living here?” Sam screamed, directing it at Sharon.

“It’s not terrible.” she answered in a haze.

“Oh, it’s lovely.” your usual sarcasm was back. You were running short on ammo & if you did not wrap this up quickly, you would actually have to use your powers.

“I thought we were going left?” the super soldier said through gritted teeth.

“You went the wrong way!” Sam shot back.

“I was clearing the way!”

“I came out first. You had to follow me.”

“And where are we now?”

“Guys, now’s not the time!” you ended their bickering right away. Tried to.

“This is a barricade.”

“It’s in every action movie!”

“If you don’t shut up right now…I swear I will pull a fucking Tom Cruise on you!” your voice was now at the same volume as theirs. That seemed to do the job. Children. You were working with freaking children. It was not even funny anymore. A third explosion caught you off guard. Again, Bucky shielded you from the force of it. How the hell did that happen anyway? And where the fuck was Zemo? Wait. Did he just blow up your surroundings? You would not be surprised if that was the case. It was him. You watched how he handled your opponents all by himself. Well, he could only do such a thing because you had caused them a good amount of damage already. Bucky motioned for you all to go & you did not think twice about it. The sooner you were away from this scene, the better. The gunshots were still going strong & when the super soldier noticed that you were not keeping up with their pace due to the pain you were still experiencing, he grabbed your wrist & dragged you along. Your legs did not want to move anymore. But you knew you could not stop now. Stopping would have you dead for sure.

“Buck!” Sam yelled over his shoulder. A door was opened & Bucky pretty much shoved you inside. Then, he grabbed a pipe & handled your attackers.

“Let’s go!” Wilson pulled him inside & closed the door right behind him. At least you had a second to breathe now. The super soldier grabbed your shoulder, eyebrows raising slightly, silently asking you if your were alright. A thumbs up from you answered it. He knew you were trying to play it cool but he decided against commenting on it. That could be done later.

Exiting the container again, a car came to a halt right in front of you. No way. Zemo. That motherfucker.

“Supercharged.” he smirked at your dumfounded expressions.

“I know I said I don’t hate you but the strong dislike is slowly starting to increase to an almost hate level.” you let him know.

“I can live with that.” Zemo’s winning smile did not falter.

“You’re going back to jail.” Sam was angry, his voice gave him away.

“Do you want to find Karli or not?” what kind of stupid question was that? Of course you wanted to find her.

“He’s right. We need him.” never in your wildest dreams had you ever expected Bucky to rely on Zemo. Yet, here you were. “And there’s three of us & at least twenty of them, come on.” Bucky opened the door for you to get in first. After you got seated, he entered himself.

“Fine. But if you try that shit again…” Sam’s finger pointed in a threatening way.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Well, that was one hell of a reunion.” Sharon closed the door behind Wilson.

“Wait. You’re not coming with us? Sharon, come on.” you almost pleaded.

“I told you I can’t. Just get me that pardon you promised me.” now, she was talking to Sam.

“You take care, okay?” your concerning eyes met hers.

“I will. You too. But it looks like you have someone who looks after you anyway.” she winked at you before moving away. Of course she was referring to Bucky. Sharon was good at reading people.

“You’re not gonna move your seat up, are you?” Sam sighed & you giggled at the déjà vu moment.

“No.” Bucky replied simply.

“Zemo? Can you move your seat up?” you teased, not expecting anything to come out of it.

“Of course. My apologies for taking up too much space.” & he really went ahead & moved his seat up. Putting your face in your hands, you heard Sam & Bucky snicker. Zemo seemed oblivious to everything. Hell, you just wanted to sleep for the next few days. It was exhausting to be around those guys all the time. Luck had not really been on your side in Madripoor.

You were back on Zemo’s private jet. Bucky sitting opposite of you, cleaning his metal hand. You had an ice pack that you held to the back of your head. Sam had a phone call with Torres, giving him the information you had found out. And the Baron? Well, you did not really care what he did.

“You okay, Sam?” your voice was soft.

“Yeah.” your eyebrows furrowed at that. “Just thinking about all the shit Sharon had to go through.” so did you, actually. If you were not as lucky, you would have ended up like her. Most definitely. “And Nagel referring to the American test subject like Isaiah wasn’t even a real person. Just makes me wonder how many people have to get steamrolled to make way for this hunk of metal.” you gulped at that.

“Well, it depends on who you ask.” Bucky joined your conversation. “That hunk of metal saved a lot of lives. “

“I have to agree with Buck on this one…” your eyes trailed to your lap.

“Yeah, I get that. Alright. Maybe I made a mistake.”

“You did. A huge mistake.” your head snapped up again, eyes slightly glossy by just thinking about it. You would not let the tears fall, though. Not here. Not in front of them.

“Yeah.” sounded like he realized that he was in the wrong. “Maybe I shouldn’t have put it in a museum. Maybe I should have destroyed it.”

“Look, that shield represents a lotta things to a lotta people, including me.” Bucky’s words were low. He chose them carefully, you could tell. “The world is upside down, & we need a new Cap, & it ain’t gonna be Walker.”

“I’ll make fucking sure of that.” you chuckled shortly.

“So will I.” the super soldier nodded at you. His gaze fell to Sam a second after. “So before you go & destroy it, I’ll take it from him myself.”

“This isn’t what Steve wanted.” it was almost inaudible, yet, two pairs of eyes stared at you. “I’m sorry to break it to you, but Steve made that decision. He thought this through. He didn’t want you to give up the shield, Sam. And he didn’t want you to take on that role, Buck.” again, Sam’s phone rang & he picked up. Zemo came over & brought each of you a plate with food. Thanking him silently, you waited for Wilson to finish. The Baron sat down, glancing between you all.

“They found Madani...” Sam started. Finally, good news. “Dead.” shit, bad news. “She died in Riga, a city near the Baltic Sea.”

“I have a place we can go.” Zemo told you.

“Is there a place on this Earth that isn’t part of your property?” rolling your eyes, you laid back in your chair.

“Believe it or not, there is, (Y/N).” he started again. “I, for one, am looking forward to coming face to face with Karli. Oeznik, we’re changing the course.” he ordered.

Riga, Latvia. If you were honest, you were surprised that you still followed Zemo. After all, he was kind of a criminal. But so were you. Kind of.

“I heard what became of Sokovia.” the Baron started a conversation as you walked down one of the many streets. “Cannibalized by its neighbors before the land was given cleared of rubble, erased from the map. I don’t suppose any of you bothered visiting the memorial?”

“I did.” your confession made him stop in his tracks. An approving nod was all you received. Neither Sam nor Bucky knew about this. You did not find it worth mentioning.

“We are here.” Zemo stated.

“I’m gonna go on a walk.” Bucky spoke up all of a sudden. Turning around, you saw something behind his eyes. He noticed something. You were not sure what it was but you would find out.

“You good?” because obviously, Zemo cared so much for you all.

“I’ll come with you.” walking over to him, you eyed him carefully.

“I’m gonna go on a walk alone.” he emphasized the last word but you were having none of it.

“Last time I checked, you barely let me out of your sight. I’m coming with you. End of discussion.” your eyes bore into his. You were serious & it was clear as day that you would not let him out of your sight now. Bucky threw his head back in frustration & sighed out.

“Okay, come on.” one of his hands found yours & he dragged you with him. Leaving a very confused Sam & an even more confused Zemo behind.

Bucky went to pick up a small beeping ball. Your question got ignored. He told you if you really wanted to join his walk then he would let you know sooner or later. The two of you followed behind what seemed like a trail of those little objects. Unknowingly, your fingers were still intertwined with Bucky’s. Neither of you seemed to mind. Being smarter now, you just let him do whatever he wanted or needed to do. Answers would follow soon. After all, that was what he promised you. Bucky came to a halt in a backstreet. Holding up one of the balls, he started talking.

“You dropped something.” who the hell was he talking to? Turning around, you were shocked when a woman was standing in front of you. Tugging one of Bucky’s sleeves, he looked into the same direction as you.

“I was wondering when you were gonna show up.” did that mean that Bucky was expecting her? She seemed somewhat familiar but you did not remember where you had seen her before. Realization hit you when she started speaking in a language you definitely recognized. It was Wakandan. You even understood what she said.

“I’m here for Zemo.” whatever that meant, it could not be good.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter

Published (04/16/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @taina-eny​, @tanyaherondale​, @cool-ultra-nerd​, @toribentleyva​, @buckyandlokirunmylife​, @annadier​, @howlongtillidie​, @mizz-kraziii​, @theetherealbloom​, @millenniumloki​, @marvelbros-oneshots​, @ajbwasnthere, @bilesxbilinskixlahey​, @mystictimetravelcolor​, @dbrees256​, @sxpxrnxturxl, @dreamydreamerwriting​, @dolllstyles​, @angelicastiel​, @prettysbliss​, @infinitelyforgotten​, @sweetserendipity65​, @lilystilinskicullen​, @partypoisonsblog​, @btdsprayberry, @sarai-ibn-la-ahad​, @deamus-liv​, @simplybarnes​, @sethcohenluvr​, @sammypotato67​, @toribentleyva​, @farihafangirls​, @earthtonav, @lilacs-lavender​ (let me know if you wanna be tagged <3)

[smellsfaintlyofvanilla]

can i request a childhood friends to lovers with annie and gn reader? :)

Of course!

Also sorry if you wanted a fic, this just worked out a lot easier in headcanon form haha

Also also, I also accidentally wrote some implied fem reader but it’s a little too late to take it out now, whoops. It’s still 90% GN though hahaaa

Annie with a childhood friend S/O: HCs

AU: Canon

Warnings: Season 4 spoilers

It had all started with the fall of Wall Maria

You lived with your parents inside of Wall Rose your whole life, so the sudden influx of people following the attack on Shinganshina was a bit to get used to

But then you met Annie

She was twelve, the same age as you

She didn’t talk much, and especially not about her life before the attack, but you did know that she was supposedly orphaned in the chaos

When you talked to her at first, you had felt pity for her

After all, she had lost her home, her parents, and was now abandoned in the middle of the overcrowded and overpopulated cities

And even though she remained mostly emotionless, there was a slight tug on her features that made her look quite... sad

So, with much convincing from you, your parents agreed to let you take the poor girl in for a few weeks, until the panic had died down and an orphanage would take her in

You weren’t exactly abundant with food, shelter, money, or really anything, but you made it work

And Annie, though dedicated to her cause, couldn’t help but find herself indulging in your presence

Even with Reiner and Bertholdt, she truly longed for a close friend that she didn’t associate with through the Warrior Program

So, even after Annie was eventually taken in to an orphanage, you two remained friends

You would always walk up to the front door of the building she stayed at, and the second the lady would answer, you would ask for Annie

Nearly every day the two of you would hang out

You’d take her with you as you ran out to get groceries for your parents, and you would always buy an extra loaf of bread behind your parents’ backs to give to Annie—since you knew the kids at the orphanage were never fed enough

You’d talk to her excitedly about whatever was on your mind, and even though she seldom talked much, she’d listen patiently to every word you said

And, whenever some kids started to pick on you, they’d be on the ground in a flash, noses bloody and crying out obnoxiously

Even though you appreciated the sentiment, you’d usually have to pull her off them so she wouldn’t go too far

And, after the first few incidents, you were practically invincible. Nobody wanted to touch you in fear of retaliation from Annie

Slowly, as the two of you grew closer, she told you more about herself.

Her father was the one who taught her to fight like she did, and she strived to one day make him proud

It made you quite sad, to see her talk about family with such a sad smile, whilst you had a perfectly healthy and intact family

In the very rare instances where she would vent and cry to you, you’d hold her and reassure her that her parents love her no matter what, and that you’d always be there for her

You swore that the two of you would do everything together.

So, when Annie signed up for the military to get revenge for her parents, you signed up too, to follow her and keep her safe

She paled when you told her, telling you to stay home where you’d be safe, and that she promised she’d visit you whenever you could

But you just smiled and told her that you promised to stay with her no matter what, and that you weren’t gonna leave her alone

It was there, fifteen years old, that she realized she had fallen for you

Being in the Cadet Corps together only further strengthened the bond between you two

Not only did it give you the chance to meet Bertholdt and Reiner, who were her other best friends she met in the orphanage

But, by some miracle, you and Annie were selected to share a bunk, much to your delight

It took a few days of convincing her, but eventually she started sleeping in the same bed as you

You had told her, “We’re just friends, it isn’t weird!”

And you were right—partially

It wasn’t weird when you were twelve and oblivious, but now that she was hard crushing on you, it was much different to her

When it came to daily life and training, the routine was almost always the same

You’d wake up and get breakfast with Annie, sitting with her in silence since you were usually too sleepy to make conversation, but sitting close to her nonetheless

Occasionally, you’d be so tired that you’d lean your head on her shoulder and take a quick nap before practice

She tried to look indifferent, but her red cheeks always betrayed her

Then you’d go out and train for hours with your assigned training partner, Mikasa

She’d almost always destroyed you in combat, but you learned a lot from her, and came to befriend her over the months

Annie would always get jealous of yours and Mikasa’s friendship, so you’d occasionally have to talk to her about it in one of your many late night talks

You’d see her facing away from you—opposite of what she’d usually do—and you’d know something was wrong

You’d tap her shoulder, and when she turned to face you, you could always tell something was wrong

So, you’d ask her what it was, and once she finally spit it out that she thought you and Mikasa were getting really close, really fast, you’d be quick to reassure her

You’d grab her hand and pull her closer to you, always causing her to blush, but you’d thankfully never noticed it due to the dark lighting

“Annie, I know how you feel. I get it. I’m close with Mikasa, yes, but she’s nowhere near your level. No matter what, I’ll always be your closest friend.”

And it always felt so bittersweet to her.

She was glad you held her so dear in your heart, but the word “friend” was like an arrow to her heart

She treasured you so dearly, your friendship alone already filled her life with joy and fulfillment

But she wanted to be closer to you

Even if it compromised her mission

Which is something that came up more than once with Reiner and Bertholdt

They could tell she was crushing on you, and were less than pleased

Bertholdt tried to reason with her, to coax her out of it gently by telling her how getting close to her would only end up in pain. Because, in her own words, she was a traitor, someone who’s done such unforgivable sins that they’ve become unlovable

Reiner, though, has a much harsher approach. He knew how protective she was of you and your wellbeing, so he often threatened your safety if Annie ever tried to get closer

Once, in an argument, he suggested “getting rid of her permanently,” but the terrifying glare she sent him proved that that option was completely off the table, unless he wanted to face a furious and grief induced Titan shifter

Which, he didn’t. So, he never brought it up again

Despite all this, she was very hesitant to confess to you. Bluntly put, she didn’t think you liked her back.

You acted the same as you did when you were child, and she was the same as she had always been to you—a close friend, but nothing further

Of course, you always loved her, but how was she supposed to know that?

Still, as time went on, it became more and more obstructive

Her thoughts and insecurities kept her up at night, yearning to love you while you lay sleeping mere inches away from her

It ended getting so distracting that she just decided she didn’t care if you reciprocated or not, she needed to get it off her chest

Even if there was a tugging feeling at the back of her mind that you would say no, and the friendship would be ruined

Still, she couldn’t bear to hide her feelings, so she came up to you one day after breakfast and shyly asked to meet her behind the barracks after afternoon training had finished

You casually mentioned this while training with Mikasa, but she only laughed

She knew Annie had a crush on you—it was obvious to anyone who was paying attention to how she acted around you, really—but decided to keep quiet, encouraging you to see what she wanted

So you did

When you walked around to the meeting spot, you saw her leaning against the wall biting her nails, a habit that only came out when she was really stressed

She didn’t seem to notice you at first, so you called out her name and smiled and waved when she saw you

“So what is it you wanted to talk about?”

She clammed up at first, staring at the ground nervously

You found this behavior really odd for her, considering she always appeared so confident and put together

And here she was, blushing and fidgeting like a schoolgirl

In an effort to ease whatever her concern may be, you grabbed her hand in your own, running your thumb over it

“It’s fine, Annie. You can tell me anything.” You smiled warmly

It gave her the final little confidence boost she needed to confess

“I... Y/n, I’ve always treasured our friendship no matter what. I feel like no matter what happens, you’re always there for me, and I couldn’t be more grateful for that, for having a friend like you.”

She paused and took a deep breath before continuing

“I don’t wanna make anything weird between the two of us, but this has been weighing down on me for ages. Fuck it... I love you Y/n. And I— I know you don’t like me back, that’s okay, I just want—!”

“Annie.” You spoke calmly, cutting off her panicked mumbling

Her flustered-ness was adorable, you thought, and you couldn’t help but giggle a little bit

And Annie’s heart dropped

Poor girl thought you were about to reject her

But, after a moment, you spoke

“I love you too, Annie.”

And those were the best five words anyone had ever spoken to her.

Although it wasn’t apparent on her face, she was absolutely overjoyed that you returned her feelings

She felt like, for just that moment, no matter what happened, she would be happy because she was with you

She immediately jumped onto you, wrapping her arms around your neck and lifting her feet off the ground, nuzzling her face in your shoulder

You returned the affection, moving one hand to her lower back, and the other one tangling in her golden blonde hair, undoing the messy bun she always kept it in

After that, the dynamic certainly changed between you two

In a good way, of course

She no longer felt weird about cuddling closer to you at night, waiting until you had gone asleep to press her chest against your back and spoon you

At mealtimes, whenever you went to nap on her, she would always carry you to bed instead, and claim you weren’t feeling well when Shadis asked her

And she’d totally share some of her food with you if you were feeling extra hungry

You two technically were keeping your relationship a secret, but everyone knew anyway

Especially because, every morning, you two were always the last to get up, so all the other girls could see the two of you cuddling and sleeping together so comfortably

So when the two of you eventually announced your relationship on your three-month anniversary, everyone was just kinda like “was it supposed to be a secret?”

But the two of you spent your years as Cadets together, and the both of you couldn’t have been happier

Then, one day, it came time to pick a regiment

Since you both made the top ten, Annie tried to convince you to join the Military Police with her

You two could live peacefully together inside of Wall Sina, safe from all the titans, and paid handsomely enough to live comfortably

But you were hell-bent on joining the Scouts

You said that you were gonna help protect society from the titans, and now that you had Eren on your side, saving humanity actually seemed possible

She was horrified when you told her, however

The Survey Corps had such a high, high mortality rate, and the chances of you being dead within a year of joining were alarmingly high

She almost considered joining the Scouts with you, to keep you safe

But she knew she had a mission to carry out, and that mission couldn’t progress without her joining the Military Police

So, she swore that she would write letters and visit whenever she could, but she was going to join the Military Police

It was hard for both of you, at first

Neither you nor her had slept without the other in well over four years, so the sudden shift was incredibly lonely

You’d always spent time together during your days off, though

You’d go back to your hometown and visit your parents for the day, courtesy of the horses provided by the Scout regiment

Hitch would also constantly tease Annie about constantly writing letters to you, but Annie would always snap back “At least I have a partner.”

And it always shut her up

When the time came, and she had to shift into a titan to attack the Scout regiment, per Reiner’s instructions, she was terrified

She knew you’d be one of the little soldiers out there, and she doubted she could tell you apart at a glance

If she accidentally hurt you, or god forbid, killed you, she wouldn’t know what to do with herself

Still, she had to go on with it

She never had a chance to check whether any of the countless bodies that day were you, so you can imagine the pure relief she felt when she received another letter from you in the mail

But upon reading the contents of the letter, her heart dropped a little bit

Sure enough, the “abnormal titan” you had encountered was all over it

You detailed seeing it up close, and watching helplessly as she crushed your comrades left and right, and how lucky you were that the titan skipped over you

A twinge of panic came over here on realizing that she was this close to accidentally killing you

But, she bit the bullet and wrote back, the letter reeking of faux concern

But, when the day came that the idea of Annie being the Female Titan was brought up, you were distraught

They made a good point, though. The titan looked quite like her, for starters

When you had first seen the titan, chasing behind you, you recognized the icy blue eyes right away

You pushed the thought to the backburner of your mind, but you couldn’t deny that when you looked at the titan, the first thing you saw was Annie

They brought up other things too, such as fighting style, her apparent absence that day, and others

All overwhelming evidence of her being a traitor

But you argued

Of course you argued

Why wouldn’t you argue?

Annie was your everything, she was there for you for years

You had known her from the day she was a lost, lonely orphan, spirit trampled just like the walls themselves

She was always so loyal to you, she would do just about anything to keep you, and her friends, safe

But, the responsibility fell on you to corner her

Hange had given you an ultimatum that day

“If you truly believe she is innocent, then you should have no problem helping us investigate, no? Lure her into a corner, and we’ll see if she truly is a titan.”

At first, you weren’t sure what to do

Part of you was appalled by the idea

Incriminating your lover? Out of the question. On the very very slight chance that she was a titan, you weren’t gonna be the one to pull the trigger

But the other part of you was filled with blind faith in her

She would never do something like that. There’s no problem in clearing her name

So, you agreed, and one day, you pulled her aside from her Military Police duties and told her to take the day off with you

She agreed in an instant, following you around town to the “destination” you had in mind

But she froze when you tried to lead her down the tunnel

A small seed of doubt planted itself in her mind

‘Is Y/n... trying to lead me somewhere where I can’t transform?”

So, she stalled, trying to make up her mind whilst spouting out excuses of being scared of the dark

But then a sound rang out

A shout, or a whistle of sorts

And all of the sudden, countless soldiers ran towards her at all angles, holding her arms behind her back and putting a cloth gag in her mouth

She didn’t piece it together right away—or rather, she didn’t want to piece it together—that you had, in fact, set her up

It wasn’t until you stood on the steps to the tunnel, staring into her eyes

And you didn’t move to help her

You had promised, back when the two of you were little, that you would always follow her and always protect her, no matter what

She realized at that moment that you weren’t there to save her

You were there to trick her

So, she pulled out the spike on her ring finger and cut a small gash in her finger, and lighting sparked and materialized out from her, before a puff of smoke and flesh manifested

Your mouth was agape the whole time

So she was the Female Titan...

A traitor...

You had known her for so long, and this is what she really was?

You couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that the sweet little lost girl was truly a heartless murderer

But the evidence of that fact was standing right in front of you, 15 meters tall

You were frozen in place, still standing on the stairwell

You expected to be squashed like a bug without hesitation

You couldn’t imagine Annie ever doing that, but at the same time, you couldn’t imagine Annie being any bit of what she was right now

But, to your surprise, she didn’t

She kneeled down as delicately as she could, given the confined space of the street

And brought her thumb to your back, rubbing it gently a couple times in a comforting matter, almost like she was trying to say “It’s okay, don’t worry.”

But another quick flash of lightning brought her attention away from you

Another shifter

Eren.

You watched in shocked horror as the two of them wrecked through Stohess district

They fought, and fought, and fought, destroying buildings and sending wreckage everywhere

But, at the end of it all, she was reduced to a mere doll stuck in a crystalline prison

You were able to recognize one thing, though

Her face, mere moments before crystallizing

She was crying

You longed so horribly to reach out and stroke the tears from her face, yet two feet of impenetrable glass separated her from you

You visited her crystal every day

Waiting for something, someone, anything, to break her free and return her to you

You were so sick and tired of the war, of the fighting, of the heartbreak

But the universe showed no signs of giving you a break, though, as you were always called upon to fight again and again

To fight the titans, and then to fight the other traitors, Reiner and Bertholdt, and to fight Marley, watching in horror as Paradis repeated the actions the Warriors had done to Shinganshina so long ago

Yet, still, you visited Annie through it all

Checking up on her, updating her on your adventures and how the story was unfolding

And you knew it was mostly pointless—after all, she couldn’t hear you at all

But you stayed and talked, waiting indefinitely for her to wake up

Because, all those years ago, you had promised to be by her side and protect her no matter what.

[sunjaesol]

My BFB is the one for me!

juke | human!au + brother!reggie | title from BFB // victorious

If someone had to ask her who the one constant in her life was, she would have to say Luke Patterson. Which was depressing, cause the guy went through life pretending to be a 90s heartthrob and, even worse, that list didn't even include her own mother. 

Julie met Luke when she was five and he was six. Her brother Reggie befriended him on the first day of school and the rest was history. "Soul-brothers" they called themselves, which would be cute if they weren't so obnoxious together. Separate, they were somewhat manageable. Put those two in the same room? Chaos would ensue. 

He was there for it all. Weekly play dates, birthdays, the occasional holiday, her mom's funeral, band rehearsals. And when Luke had a month-long falling out with his parents, he stayed with them. 

Realistically, that should make him seem like a brother to Julie. But neither Carlos or Reggie were as infuriating as Luke was! With the stupid band tees and the stupid smile and the stupid, relentless teasing he lovingly bestowed upon her. She lost count how many times he "poisoned" her soda with salt or woke her with a heart attack by playing his electric guitar. At least she had some grip on her brothers, being their only sister, but Luke… 

Luke and her had this interesting, little relationship that she couldn't quite put her finger on and it unnerved her. Like it was an itch she couldn't scratch. (Or maybe he was just an annoying mosquito buzzing around her and should leave her the fuck alone. Probably.)

Hopping down the stairs for her midnight snack, it was no surprise to her to find the idiot gaping into the fridge like a goon. With a nudge of the hip, she pushed him aside. 

'Hey!' 

'Either pick something or save power,' she retorted, grabbing a bowl of grapes. 

He snorted. 'I don't think my indecisiveness is gonna kill the planet.'

She shot him a look, an amused smile tugging on her lips. 'You wanna say that in the cute face of a polar bear?' 

Luke stared at her for a beat, a smile crawling on his own face and shaking his head with a chuckle. The fridge fell shut with the pride of a won argument swelling in her chest. 

'So why're you still up?', he asked as she flitted around him for the bread and peanut butter. Maybe she could sneak up a butterscotch cookie too - her dad won't notice one missing, right? 

Unscrewing the lid, she sighed. 'Mendoza's class is murdering me. I really don't get why we need to learn calculus. We're an arts school, not like any of us are going to use formulas on the set of a movie.'

When she passed him to get the orange juice from the fridge, he took hold of the jar, sliding it between his hands thoughtfully. 

'Just don't overthink it,' he shrugged. 

She rolled her eyes. 'Easy for you, obviously.'

His mouth fell slack, offended, as Julie put the bottle on the island with mirth glimmering in her expression. After years of sparring with Luke, she knew how to press his buttons and took great joy in doing so. 

Suddenly leaning into her personal bubble, he sputtered. 'Are you… calling me dumb?' 

Her hand pushed his face back with a scoff. 'Don't breathe on me. All I'm saying is that you look like you have elevator music playing up there 24/7.'

When she went to grab the jar from his hand, he moved it away. 

'Uh, I think you're mistaking me for your brother.'

'No-' Tried again, moved away. '-I don't think I do.'

'You do.'

She crossed her arms, resolute. 'He's part of the gifted program.'

It unfazed him. 'Yeah. And it means shit.'

She held her palm up, exasperated. 'Just give me the peanut butter, Luke.'

Raising it over his head with an infuriating smirk, the other tugged on a curl. 'No.'

Gah! He was so dead! Did he forget she lived with three men in this house?!

Without a second of hesitation, Julie barrelled into him and jumped to catch it. Luke snatched her wrist before she could with a laugh, a hitched puff coming right after as her elbow jabbed his ribs. 

He set the jar down at lightning speed and grabbed her other wrist. Both their arms were outstretched as her foot kicked his calf, hard. When he yelped, her left hand loosened and dove for the jar. Right as her fingertips grazed the glass, a strong arm snaked around her waist and pulled her back. An "oof!" left her lips, the breath kicked out of her lungs. 

Luke guffawed in her ear victoriously, whooping the house together. Curse words rolled off her tongue as she repeatedly slapped his forearm to let go. She felt embarrassingly small with her feet hovering above the floor and this power dynamic was not doing it for her confidence. 

'The fuck are you doing?' 

Julie smacked to the floor before the last words were uttered, a flabbergasted Reggie staring at the pair. 

Luke stammered. 'Uh…' 

'Your bestie held the peanut butter hostage,' Julie replied sardonically. 'Did dad wake up?' 

He shook his head, a peculiar expression fixed on Luke. Her gaze shot between the two. Were they having… a silent conversation? With the way their brows quirked an lips twitched, it seemed like some "bro-talk" Julie wouldn't even like to understand. 

'Don't break your head too much over Mendoza, okay?' Reggie added, smiling at her this time. 'Just relax.'

She sighed. Relax. Because the fear of failure got eradicated with the snap of a finger if she just relaxed. 'Yeah. Sure.'

The boys finally left, silence descended, and Julie made her sandwich. For some reason, the quietude made her uncomfortable. 

***

Though Luke was annoying at times, the band he was in - Sunset Curve - definitely wasn't. Reggie, Alex and Luke created it when they were thirteen and overzealous. Reggie and Luke met Alex the same year and bullied him into a friendship, all bonding over cliché lyrics and overused chord progressions. They quickly got better though, earning a small following and a hopeful future in the LA scene. Julie was very proud of her brother. All those hours practicing the bass until his fingers bled was finally paying off with each new gig they rocked. 

And as the Molina's were raised to appreciate good music, Julie often found herself sprawled on the leather couch as they rehearsed. Reggie used to hate it, saying she was being "sticky" and "distracting", but eventually found her useful whenever they needed someone to bounce ideas with. She has co-written many of their songs. It was then that Luke was the least annoying, when he was so entranced and passionate about music that he had no time to pester her. 

(If she were honest with herself, she'd admit that song-writing with Luke was when she felt like herself the most, enjoyed life the most. But Luke was stupid and she definitely didn't feel a vibe when they wrote, so honesty was obsolete.)

'Or else you'll get,' Luke growled in the mic, music crashing together in their signature punk-rock sound. 'Crooked teeth!' 

They shot into an electrifying interlude. Alex headbanging the sweat of his forehead from his fast-paced drumming, Reggie bouncing in his heels as he heightened the bassline and Luke… was being Luke. Julie looked up from her laptop as his strumming came closer, that signature grin fixed on her as his fingers expertly glided across the neck. Her typing paused, amused. 

Why was he so adamant about "impressing" her with a riff? He knew she liked their music (and has caught her looking at his hands… ugh, fourteen year old Julie had bad judgement), he didn't have to prove himself or something. 

She smiled. 'You're going to miss your cue, idiot!' 

Ignoring her exclaim, he bobbed his head to the melody and wiggled his brows. Her eyes drifted to Alex, the blonde staring at Reggie and Reggie staring at the back of Luke's head. This has been happening a lot, Julie realised. There was this weird energy whenever they were all in the same room. For a bit, she thought it was her that was the problem, but if she was, Reggie would've told her by now. 

Now Luke was really in her face, pushing her laptop shut with his knee and making those stupid expressions he pulled whenever Grace talked to him in the hallway. Never one to back down, Julie abruptly stood up and pushed him back with a challenging smirk. The boy was seventeen; he was in serious trouble if he lacked the spatial awareness and common sense. 

‘Sing with us?!’, he pleaded over the crash of the cymbal. Behind him, Alex’ brows went so far up it disappeared into his snapback. A nervous tug knotted in her stomach at his request, like she was afraid to disappoint him, and shook her head. Keeping up the attitude she nodded at the laptop he so valiantly closed for her. 

Pulling it against her chest, she pointed at his bandmates. ‘Go sing about some fucked up teeth more!’

‘Crooked teeth!’, they all yelled in annoyance. Proud to have executed her role an irritating, little sister, she hopped out the studio. If she felt someone’s gaze burning in her back, she must’ve imagined it.  

***

There was something to be said about Grace and Luke. Though it wasn’t Julie’s business (or anyone’s, for that matter), the coupling has always intrigued her. Or lack of coupling, really. Every few months they’d find themselves at each other’s lockers flirting up a storm for everyone to see to then ghost each other again. This vicious cycle has been on loop since sophomore year. Julie felt bad for Grace, the pretty senior girl deserved far better than Luke. 

Last night, Julie couldn’t sleep. “Crooked Teeth” was blaring in her mind and haunted her dreams (and Luke’s stupid face) until she woke up in a sweat. Something was off. Like solving a math question and knowing the result is wrong but unsure where it all went wrong. Around four in the morning, it hit her. The bridge! It was all jumbled and clunky and she had far better ideas on how to craft it! She sat at her keyboard until seven in the morning, only to stop when a frustrated Carlos barged in, threw a pillow at her and yelled to “zip it!” Reggie and dad, naturally, slept through all of it. 

Now, a sleep-deprived, caffeinated and kind of manic Julie was bustling through the hallways trying (and failing) to find Luke. Sure, they butted heads a lot, but music has always been the glue. Temporary glue, but the fact remained that she and Luke were cut from the same cloth when it came to composition and lyrical prowess. (Not that she’d ever admit that. Ew. His ego was large enough as is.) 

And then she saw him. At Grace’s locker. Her breath lodged in her throat at the sight. It shouldn’t. God, it truly shouldn’t. But it did. Because Grace was pretty and Luke had one of those faces and they looked good together and it annoyed the fuck out of her. Like, who decided who went through puberty better. Julie knew she wasn’t unattractive, but she wasn’t Grace either. Tall and lithe and glossy black hair and a perfect nose. The ugly, green monster in the back of her head snarled about how her personality was probably off-putting, though Julie knew that to be untrue. Grace was, well, graceful. Genuinely kind. Gah! Since when did Julie hate on other girls? Pushing the voice down, she mustered back the previous excitement (the! bridge!) and paraded towards the pair. Luke saw her before Grace did.       

She rushed the last few steps and hastily grabbed the papers from the side pocket of her backpack. 'Luke! Hi, Grace. Okay, I know "Crooked Teeth" is finished, but I couldn't stop thinking about it and I had this amazing idea for the bridge.'

When he didn't react for a beat, stunned by her giddy attitude, her smile mellowed awkwardly. 'I mean… it's your song. You don't have to-' 

'No!', he shouted, frantic. Her brows raised in surprise. 'No, uh-' His hand flew to the back of his head, raking the ends of his hair. 'Yeah. D'you wanna go to the music room? To show me?'

Julie’s eyes flitted to a confused Grace. ‘Um…’

Luke caught on and shot the girl an easy grin. ‘Talk to you later, yeah?’ 

She shrugged. ‘I guess?’

Before she could say anything more, Luke snatched Julie by the wrist and dragged her to the nearest, open music room. The arts school was littered with them, though most had a reserved schedule. Luckily, one was empty. 

‘Okay,’ she said, tucking her hair behind her ears as she slid down in front of the piano. Luke sat next to her, expectant. ‘The bridge right now? It’s fine, but it’s not “wow”, you know? I was thinking about how the verses and chorus sound so visceral and loud, so the bridge should have something guttural. Like, primal. That’s a weird word to use, but, I don’t know, have it sound dangerous? Like - why’re you looking at me like that?’

A strange expression was plastered on Luke’s face. A half-grin and wide eyes, like he was scared he’d miss something, like he’d blink and she’d disappear. In other words: he looked insane. Then again, her exhaustion mustn’t look too appealing either. 

He shook his head, that smile falling away for something more timid. All the bravado he oozed while talking to Grace just moments before, was gone for shy eyes and fingers gripping the chain around his jeans. 

‘Nothing.’ He nudged her. ‘You kinda ambushed me here, Molina.’

Her words stuttered out. ‘I- I was just-’ Zeroing back on the keys with a frown, she said: ‘I’ll just play you the bridge.’

As she did, her mind was elsewhere. This wasn’t weird, right? They’ve done this before. Collaborated, gone to music rooms to bounce ideas back and forth, played until dusk. She knew it wasn’t weird. It was always just a matter of time before the next “ambush” came, as he put it. Soon, he’d barge into her room with half a melody and forced her to finish it. This was normal.

Then why did her skin ripple with anticipation from his intense gaze directed on her temple? 

When she finished, she kept her eyes on the keys. Suddenly, his hand appeared in her vision and softly patted her knuckles, urging her to look at him anyway. He had that strange look again, the sight letting the most peculiar feeling rush through her veins.   

Luke smiled. ‘I like it.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Wanna play it for the boys during next rehearsal?’ His brows raised with hope, head leaning her way as if he wasn’t already close enough. And he wasn’t close enough. 

Julie went on autopilot at this point, too enthralled by her emotions running wild. ‘Yeah.’ It came out breathy and foolish and if she had half a brain cell right now, she’d kick herself in the face for how dumb she sounded.  

His hand squeezed hers and then let go, that smile turning nervous. Oh God, did he notice how weird she abruptly got? ‘Cool. Sweet. Perfect. Your- this was perfect. I’ll see you, uh, -’

‘Yeah,’ she squeaked. ‘Whenever.’

When he left the room in a hurry, her face planted itself on the keys and erupted a harsh sound. Fitting, she believed. Her mind was a mess too. 

***

Then stuff began piling on and each time it did, Julie’s heart fluttered like the traitorous bitch it was. 

Like when Luke told her to tell calculus to “bite her” as a joke, but then she actually did during a test and somehow didn’t get a black out. She knew it was likely just a placebo, but the grin she earned later on when she showed him the B+ and he gave her the tightest hug was worth the pseudo-science. 

Or he found her in the hallway whenever they both had a free period and casual small talk turned to slamming each other into lockers or, more recently, pulled her outside to get boba from the place right across the street. Their boba hangouts were probably the strangest development of all, but it was… nice. Pleasant. If she ever secretly thought it was a date, then it must’ve been a sun stroke hitting her. 

Or she’d be doing her homework and he’d waltz into her room (because he was always at their house and that never changed) and randomly help her with a task or question. It was small and it usually slowed her down, but she hasn’t had the guts to turn him away either. She blamed his stupid smile. 

Or just yesterday they were all in the kitchen and she was peering over Reggie’s shoulder as he tried and failed to properly text his crush Kayla, when she said: 

‘Isn’t that weird? That you’re talking to a junior?’

Luke, who was looking over his other shoulder, scoffed. ‘Why would that be weird?’

Pointing at the emoji he should be using (the purple heart - duh!), she shrugged. ‘I don’t know. You just don’t see a lot of people date outside of their year. It’s, like, an unspoken rule.’

Reggie pouted. ‘Not helping, Jules.’

‘I am! Use the purple heart!’

Luke snorted. ‘Please, if you were asked out by some senior boy, you’d say no?’

The Molina’s looked up from the phone to shoot him a weird look. The boy shrunk under their stare, fingers nervously drumming island. 

Caution tinged her voice. ‘I don’t know… should I?’

The boys stared at each other for a beat. That “bro-talk” again, Julie presumed with a roll of the eye. Typical.

‘Yes,’ Luke trailed, unsure. ‘You should say no.’

A ball of disappointment dropped to the pit of her stomach at his words - hard. Oh. So he didn’t mean himself then. Julie froze. Why would she even want that? She was not returning to her fourteen year old self that gawked at Luke like an idiot. Nope. Not happening. Just because she felt flushed and ecstatic every Wednesday afternoon when they schedules lined up, that didn’t mean her crush has resurfaced. Totally. 

But then something even more maddening happened. It was Thursday afternoon, right before lunch, when Nick approached her by her locker. She’d been fervently texting a sick Flynn to get better when he started asking about dance class and how on earth he was supposed to master a calypso by Monday next week. He was clearly stressed and Julie gave him a hug. Just as she was going to offer her help (or redirect him to Kayla, as she was an actual dance goddess), a familiar arm draped around her shoulder and pulled her back. 

Julie was fuming. Luke decided to start acting like some jovial prick as he intimidated Nick with all these terror stories about his own dance assignments from last year and that “a calypso was just the beginning.” The poor guy was practically passed out from anxiety by the time his spiel was over. She couldn’t even yell an apology as he sped off and spun around the corner at lightning speed.        

The arm fell away, Luke stared at her ridden with guilt, muttered some half-assed “sorry” and rushed off in the opposite direction. A baffled, angry Julie was left standing there. 

If Luke thought he could be some white knight, he was dead wrong. 

***

She got lucky. Reggie mentioned beforehand Luke was coming over and knew that he, inevitably, would ascend the stairs. A pent-up Julie paced in her room, feeling that fever pitch come to a boiling point. Argh! Why was he so… infuriating?! (And attractive?! And charismatic?! Argh!) 

Then she heard it. His tentative steps up the steps. Like he knew. The fact that she was seemingly predictable left her cold this time, slamming her door open at just the right moment to snatch his wrist and roughly yank him inside. 

Before he could react, she yelled: 'What the hell, Luke?! Why did you do that?' 

Luke was a stammering, embarrassed mess. Good. 'Uh- I- I-' 

'You can't just act all overprotective or possessive like that! What's your problem with Nick? He's super nice and, you know, my friend. I already have two brothers, I don’t need one more!’

'I-'

'You don't get to decide who I talk with! Or save me or whatever fantasy you were living in! And-!' 

'I like you, Jules,' he blurted. 

Julie was blazing though. 'So? That doesn't mean that-' Until the words dried on her tongue, stunned. All else she had prepared to say flew out the window. The constant fluttering in her heart hitched. Did she… hear him correctly? 'W-what?' 

A beat went by, like he couldn’t believe he actually said that, but then word vomit spewed out. 'I- I like you? Like, on and off since I was eleven and I tried to not like you - I really tried - but you're just incredible and pretty and an amazing singer and you keep doing that thing with your lips when you have a thought and it's been killing me seeing Nick shoot his shot and-' 

Julie dove forward and pressed a kiss on his rambling mouth. Stretched on her tippy toes, she saw him freeze and stare at her in wonder. Slowly, her poor heart began to beat again, fast and fond and for him and oh my God, what was happening? 

'Did you just-', he croaked. 

Shit. Should she have asked to kiss him first? Her hands didn't leave his shoulders, alarmed. 'Uh… you just kept talking and-' She swallowed back her nerves and mustered a smile. 'If you wanted to be my boyfriend, you could've just asked.'

Luke blinked, completely in awe by her words. 'What?' 

Alright. Time to take life by the balls, Molina. 

'You didn't think I might like you back?' 

An incredulous laugh puffed from his lips, looking from her hands on his shoulders and then grabbed onto her waist. Jitters burst in her stomach at the sudden touch. This was actually happening. Holy shit. But God, how could she deny that bright smile and his warm smile and that giddy feeling that rippled her skin each time they hung out? 

'Can we try that again?', he breathed. 

His grin captured hers before she could fully nod, his hands slipping to her lower back and jaw without hesitation. Her arms slung around his neck, finally getting a feel for his soft locks of hair. Heat grew from her chest to her toes, curling from bliss. She felt deliciously empty and full of glee all at once. 

Her back fell against the door with a giggle. Just as he went back in, she pressed a finger on his lips. 

'Still doesn't make it right what you did.' 

'Yeah.' He kissed her again. 'Sorry.'

She tried saying more, but each word was muffled by another warm kiss of his intoxicating lips and all she could do was melt against him. The odd lyric that “heaven was his lips and larger than paradise” passed her by, hopefully reminding her of its existence in an hour or two. 

His fingers slipped under her shirt and dug into her heated skin. They became lazier, the kisses open-mouthed and smiling and already so amazing at first try. Julie has kissed a handful of boys before, but this? Unmatched. 

Two sudden knocks against wood. ‘Julie?’

They froze, Julie slapping a hand over his mouth to stifle his inevitable snicker. 

‘Have you seen Luke?’, Reggie continued, confusion lacing his voice. 

‘No!’, her voice squeaked, still affected by their make-out. Cringing, she tried to level it. ‘Uh, maybe he’s gone to the, uh-’ His lips grazed her neck, teasingly. She pinched his arm, but he didn’t lean back. Asshole. ‘-uh…’

‘Julie? Everything okay?’

‘Yeah! Yeah! I’m fine!’ Julie pushed Luke back again, this time the boy giving her some space. The wolfish smirk he was sporting was one she either wanted to slap or kiss away. ‘Maybe he’s in the bathroom? Annoying Carlos? The studio?’ Not my room!  

They held in their breaths as they waited for a reply. Her mind was failing to catch up to what she’s just done. Here she was, with flushed lips and tingling skin from Luke’s actions as her brother was meandering on the other side of the door. How did she end up here? 

He blew a raspberry. ‘Okay…’ They sighed. ‘When you’re done making out, can you force Luke to start our project? Kind of an important assignment.’

Luke’s face crashed into pure horror, mouth falling agape and skin pale as a ghost. Julie snorted despite herself, dropping her head on his shoulder in an attempt to muffle her giggles but failing horribly. Of course, Reggie knew. His dreamy nature made anyone forget how observant he actually was, yet here he instantly he had his pulse on the facts. Or he’s always known about Luke’s crush on her. Probably both. 

Her smile stretched against the fabric of his shirt. Luke had a crush on her. Luke liked her. 

Reggie’s footsteps faded away, his bedroom door falling shut. Their gazes met again. 

Luke gulped, green eyes wide and oh so adorable. ‘He took that surprisingly well.’

Her chin raised, haughty. She hasn’t forgotten about that infuriating face of his just one minute before. ‘You kissed my neck.’

That look returned as he hummed, edging closer. ‘I did.’

‘You’re an asshole, you know that?’

His face brightened at her words, weaving a hand through her and making her sigh just like that. She was gone and she didn’t even know it. ‘And you’re-’ he murmured, softly kissing her lips, ‘-into that.’

How desperately she wanted to keep this going, she has heard what Reggie said. An important project due. She shouldn’t trouble her brother like that, even if making out with his best friend was far more appealing than anything else in the world right now.

The measly words puffed out. ‘You have-’ kiss ‘-a project-’ kiss ‘-with Reggie.’ kiss.  

‘Hmm…’ Letting her stand between his legs to be even closer and consequently shutting down any rationale, Luke mumbled against her lips: ‘One more minute.’

In the end, Luke stayed for another thirty minutes before Reggie barged in, dragged the boy from Julie’s bed by the collar and wordlessly trucked back out the room. When later that night she received a text saying goodnight jules 💙 she knew she hadn’t been dreaming.

And when Luke kissed her square on the lips the next day for everyone to see, Julie had inkling this interesting, little relationship of theirs was the just the beginning.  

@blush-and-books @bluefirewrites @willexx @unsaid-emily @sophiphi @ourstarscollided