#one time I was in the shopping centre in a baggy tee

[slowdive1994]

ugh you know those memories that never go away bc you have so many things you want to say know but didn’t back then because you were scared

[sweetestt-devottionn]

Both Sides

A/n: this fanfic was inspired by this other fanfic that i read and a youtube series called both sides. Hence, credits to the original creator and writer for being such an amazing inspiration.

==========

"What's the sexiest thing about her?" the interviewer asks as Jisoo looks from behind the camera to the blonde seated across her, smiling and bobbing her head to the music playing against her ears–it's probably Doja Cat, again. "Her arms, obviously," she replies with a laugh, making the blonde's smile widen.

-

The video transition to an opening animation. There's a whistle as the logo for BLACKPINK TV appears then it vanishes as the words Both Sides fade in. Two women walk into the frame and take seats on the two chairs provided in the middle, facing each other. On the right is a tall blonde with lanky frame, her hair up in a neat ponytail complete with her ever present bangs. She wears a simple white ringer tee with mickey mouse face on it, coupled with a baggy yellow Balenciaga zip-up jacket. She match her  top with a high waisted black straight jeans with the hems rolled up. Her ensemble is completed with sneakers and rainbow high socks and a sunshine-like grin that is as colourful as her outfit.

On the right is a dark-haired woman, her lips a nice shade of coral. There is a small smile on her lips–almost secretive, a little playful maybe, and she ducks her head and glances at the blonde who laughs. She wears a sky blue cardigan that accentuate her smile, her hair neat with a nude headband, along with a comfortable black ripped jeans finished with an elegant  Dior choker adorning her neck and black suede pumps with heels that could definitely kill. She takes the pair of large headphones on her seat along with a phone, sits down, and put the items on her lap.

A text appears: We asked couples individually to get both sides of their story, it reads, before the video cuts to a close up of the blonde. She beams and waves with both hands to the camera.

"HI! My name is Lalisa Manoban," she greets. "I'm 22."

The video then cuts to the raven-haired woman. She grins at the camera too, showing a perfect set of white teeth and heart-shaped smile, and waves her fingers in greeting. "And I'm Kim Jisoo, 24 years old," she says with another heartwarming smile and awkward chuckle as Lisa's snort is heard in response of her greeting.

-

The frame cuts to the both of the again, sitting in front of each other. They both look to the side as the interviewer asks a question, and the text appears on the screen. How long have you  been dating?, it reads.

The couple meet gazes then.

"Two years."

"Two years and 3 weeks."

The raven- haired woman chuckles and Lisa grins proudly back at her.

The video cuts to Jisoo putting on headphones. They are big and bright yellow, Jisoo glanced back up at Lisa after she finished on choosing a song.

"Can you hear me?" Jisoo shakes her head to the sides," Wait what?" Lisa says flabbergasted.

"I thought she is not supposed to be able to hear me?" she asks, facing the interviewer in question. Jisoo squints her eyes in confusion.

"I can't hear anything."

"wh-oh oh okay." Lisa chuckles out, shoulder sagging in relief. She then mouths something to Jisoo, causing her to smile softly, and Jisoo mouths the same words too.

-

With the two of them back in the frame, the video stills on the question How did you get together? for a few moments before it plays again. Lisa looks at the camera and ducks her head bashfully as Jisoo chuckles at the reaction while  looking at her questioningly.

"Jisoo unnie, asked me out," She says." We were on a vacation to Thailand to film BLACKPINK HOUSE, and then I remember us visiting Koh Samui." She stops and looks at Jisoo ."Then she came to my room when Chaeyoung was out somewhere shopping with Jennie unnie and, uh, she suddenly sang the spongebob Ripped Pants song and I remember singing along with her for no reason and she was just being so smooth. it was so out of the blue!" Lisa exclaims with a wistful smile gracing her features." I mean,  we became quiet after the song and then she was like, do you want to be the Patrick to my Spongebob?"

"She's weird, under all that poised looking clothes you'll think she's the normal one. But, she's my kind of weird." Lisa then shoot finger guns at Jisoo as the said person dodges the imaginary bullets while the interviewer laughs.

-

"Oh my god, it's Doja Cat! Ye I'm a cow..." Lisa exclaims as she taps on the phone. She beams and shows Jisoo the playlist (it's basically rap songs), then starts to bob her head and doing weird hand motion to the music, waving her arms in exaggerated manner. Jisoo rolls her eyes dramatically and looks to the camera.

"Yes, unfortunately, she's always this embarrassing," she says with a straight face.

-

Lisa has the headphones this time. Jisoo chuckles when she hears the question. "Did she tell you about the cartoon thingy?" She asks the interviewer who offers no response, it isn't needed though because one look at Lisa's cheeky smile and she knows. "Ah yeah, so that happens...it was perfect though. In my defense, if she decided to reject me I could just say it as a best friend kind of thing, you know? But I'll definitely be sad." She says with an exaggerated pout at Lisa making her coo at the rare display of anything that resembles cuteness from Jisoo.

"She was wonderful. She said yes to me and like it was one of the happiest days in my life..." She bites her lip, as if collecting her thoughts. "She kissed my cheek and I remember blushing so hard about it" She laughs and the blonde bursts out laughing despite the head phones and starts nodding as if she heard. "We did end the night by watching Spongebob though, so that was even better." She lets out a sigh, soft and dreamy, and her smile turns fond as she takes a moment to look at Lisa who returns her smile.

-

The next question appears over a scene of Lisa handing the head phones back to Jisoo, pausing to tell her a lame pun. Jisoo snorts and both of them laughs, and Lisa's grin is so wide, like a child given his or her favourite play toy.

Who said I love you first?

-

"She did." Lisa confesses, a wistful smile appearing on her face. "We were laying on my bed, and I was sleeping, I mean, I was kind of sleeping? Like you know when you were about to sleep but you're not exactly asleep yet? Yes- yes that's what I mean." She says with a laugh, and when she looks at Jisoo, she was already looking at her with a funny expression as she tilts her head mouthing what? with an amused smile. "Then she said it." Lisa says as she sticks her tongue out.

-

Jisoo shakes her head fondly and smiles to herself, as if the sheer recall of the memory of this moment makes her heart melt –it kind of does. "I did." She says simply. "I was sleeping over in her room that night and the other members were already asleep I think. And uh, I was playing with her hair and just like, admire her you know? She got her eyes closed so I wasn't sure if she was still awake or not. But yeah, I –uh I told her I think I'm falling in love with you and..." She gives Lisa a lopsided smile." She said it to me like 2 weeks later I think? And that brat had the nerves to claim that she said I love you first, I know she was awake! I mean, who blushed in their sleep? No one." Jisoo paused as if trying to search for some specific information. "Oh, and she's a bad liar too. I cornered her one day and told her to tell me if she was awake when I told her that. I swear to god she was so cute, all stumbling over her words and a blushing mess. I ended up pinching her cheeks, I couldn't help it." Jisoo finishes with a snicker and wiggles an accusing finger towards Lisa. The latter points back and winks.

"Cute." The interviewer comments from behind the camera after seeing the couple's interaction.

-

"You know Chaeng is the one who ate the leftover chicken right?" Lisa says to Jisoo, and she nods sagely in front of her. What do you love about each other? appears over the clip, before it cuts to Jisoo asking Lisa which cat does she love the most Luca, Leo, or Lily. Lisa gasps.

-

"What do I love about her?" Lisa says as she looks from behind the camera to the woman currently sitting across her, smiling and bobbing her head slightly to whatever song is playing against her ears. "I have the tendency to be too nice and get walked over. And she makes sure that, like, that doesn't happen and that I stand up for myself." She sighs and sends a grateful smile to Jisoo. "And she's also always herself and never feels the need to be anybody else."

-

Jisoo reads the question then face Lisa with an earnest expression. "I love you because you're one of the sweetest and nicest people I've ever met in my life. I mean you're nice to people I don't think deserve to be nice, you know, at to." She trails off, and chuckles before looking at Lisa sincerely. "Umm, when I'm emotional and throwing a fit or just being over the top about something you're always there to centre me." She sighs softly and meets Lisa's gaze. "You just, you're that little piece of me that I didn't realise I needed until I met you."

"I don't know if that's everything I was supposed to say or not." Jisoo awkwardly scratches her chin and ducks her head out of embarrassment.

"Damn, that was adorable."

Jisoo bursts out a laugh, relief evident in her voice. "Oh man, it's a lot easier when she's not listening."

-

"What's the sexiest thing about her?" the interviewer asks as Jisoo looks from behind the camera to the blonde seated across her, smiling and bobbing her head to the music playing against her ears–it's probably Doja Cat, again. "Her arms, obviously," she replies with a laugh, making the blonde's smile widen. Jisoo covers her face to gather her composure, "But seriously though, even though I probably sound really sappy and the members will definitely tease me about it," she chuckles, "her personality. I mean, she's just so bright you know?" She gestures to Lisa, who in turn waves to the camera with a laugh. "She's like a walking sunshine," Jisoo says, voice soft, "and she chases all the dark clouds away." Jisoo trails off, lips quirking into a small smile. "She makes everyone happy and, uh, she is always so positive despite everything." Jisoo stops, "She believes that everyone deserve a second chance and she's always so nice even though they definitely do not deserve it." Jisoo sends Lisa a pointed look, in which the blonde ignore because she was busy choosing another song. "That's kind of what I'm here for." She chuckles.

Jisoo then bites her lip for a moment. "I think, uh, it may sound naïve really, but, I think she's a ball of positivity that everyone needs in their life."

-

"Her compassion," Lisa says tenderly as she meets Jisoo's gaze. Jisoo is watching her, smiling all the while, and Lisa doesn't stop her own smile from growing. "She never really cry you know? Because she's always there to take care of us and I feel like she forgets that she also needs to take a breather. But she isn't comfortable in showing her burden which is why I'm glad I can be that for her, like a safe place of sort." She turns to the camera with an accusatory look. "Anyone who thinks she's not good enough to be in BLACKPINK can talk to me, by the way, just so we're clear."

-

"I'm starving," Lisa whines as she crosses her arms and pouts at her. Jisoo laughs. The next question appears over the clip. What's the other person's biggest weakness?, it reads.

-

The frame cuts back to the both of them, sitting across each other with their hands intertwined. "Putting on her seatbelt?" Jisoo says jokingly with a laugh in which Lisa smiles in return. "I –uh I think she gets caught up in her own head though. I think that's her biggest struggle is just, you know, wanting to make sure everybody's happy around her and that everybody's treated fairly so she gets kinda in her head too much." Jisoo pauses for a moment and finishes with a small smile, "And then I have to let her know that she's doing okay."

-

"Did you talk about my seatbelt?" Lisa accuses as she passes the head phones back to Jisoo. She bursts out laughing, which causes a chain reaction and now Lisa is laughing along with her too. "It's so awful."

-

With the head phones now firmly put on her head, Lisa looks into Jisoo's eyes." Um, She's a bit dramatic sometimes." Jisoo nods her head, eliciting a chuckle out of Lisa. "She's just agrees with me when she has no idea what we're saying." Jisoo morphs her face into a funny expression, and dramatically rolls her eyes at Lisa.

-

"We'll never finish this interview if you keep making me laugh," Jisoo says dryly, though it is obvious she is holding back a laughter. The video cuts to Lisa dancing in her seat. She dabs and grins at the camera. What is the one thing you want to tell her? appears over the clip.

-

"We'll probably talk about this later over dinner," Lisa chuckles as she catches Jisoo's gaze. The raven-haired woman only smiles. Lisa tugs on an imaginary lint on her jeans as she seems to study Jisoo for a moment before she sighs softly. "I don't feel like I say this enough, but I'll tell you this over and over again." She pauses and purses her lips. Jisoo quirks an eyebrow that makes Lisa shrug at her. "No matter what you think, no matter what other people think...I– You'll always be enough. And If I have to choose between you and the world, I'll always choose you, every single day, in this lifetime and more."

-

Jisoo chuckles nervously at the camera before looking back at Lisa. "Oh man. This is a tough one." She rubs her hands on her knees. "I mean we make sure to always talk to each other about our problem because you know, 'communication is key' and all that," she says with air quotes. She gives Lisa a tender smile as she sighs, the sound of it laced with a weight of uncertainty. "But I...I wish you could see how good you are. You're kind and beautiful and blind to all of that and I– I wish that you would love yourself like I love you." She licks her lips and swallows thickly, looks away for a moment to blink several times. There are hints of tears in her eyes that she tries to hide, but she looks back at Lisa wish a shuddering sigh. "Or love yourself like you love me, because you yourself, of all people, are so worthy of that love. Until then I'd love you for the both of us."

"Unnie! You can't cry," Lisa warns, pointing an accusatory finger at Jisoo. The ravenette only laughs and looks up to wipe the back of her hands against her cheeks. "No, don't cry, if you cry I'm going to cry and I'm not going to lose a bet to Chaengie."

-

"This is all your fault," Lisa sniffles as she takes the tissues handed her way. She chucks it to Jisoo and the ravenette laughs as she wipes her own tears.

"Fine," she relents with a happy grin despite her tear-tracked cheeks. Lisa huffs playfully as the next question appears on the screen. What would life be like without the other person?, it reads.

-

The head phones is nowhere to be seen. The couple is still seated across each other with both of their hands intertwined. Lisa looks long and deep into Jisoo's eyes. "She is my support in every single way and, uh, she makes me happy, she makes me laugh, she makes me take life a little less seriously so I think without her I would just be lost completely." Lisa pauses for a moment as Jisoo kissed the back of her right hand and smiles sweetly at her. "For the short version," she chuckles, "devastated, I don't know what I would do without you."

-

"I –uh Man I try not to use bad words but man it'd be scary not to have you, that is wild to think about." Jisoo bites her lips. "I don't like thinking about that." Lisa laughs softly and says jokingly with a smile, "Now you're making me sound like the ice queen. But," she pauses and Jisoo chortles, "I love you very much."

"I love you too" Jisoo replies sincerely as she leans forward and pecks Lisa's lips.

-

"I never cry," Jisoo hisses, even as she dabs tissues on her cheeks. "My reputation is ruined, Lisa."

Lisa scrunches her nose. "What reputation, the one about you being a soft mama bear? I'm Jisoo, I'm okay."

"Shut up," Jisoo says as the both stand. "I'm not going to do Chaeng's chores just because I cried in public," Lisa mutters as they walk out of their seats and off the frame, leaving only the now two empty chairs. "Maybe I should get some avocado too, just to piss her off."

Jisoo laughs and Lisa does, too; soft, bright, lovely.

[helloimjusthuman-blog]

FAT

Society will tell you that if you’re fat then you’re worthless and lazy, that you do not deserve a man who’s way out of your league, cos they’re reserved for beautiful people, you know the ones who are tall and skinny with collar bones that sticks out from their chest and a thigh gap for the whole world to see see we are conditioned to think that those are the only things that make a person ‘pretty’ worthy of being seen on television, social media and fashion magazines See fat people, they don’t belong in that world they’ve been told to wear big jumpers and baggy tees the type of clothes that cover every inch of their body see they’re not designed for crop tops or short sleeves, it’s become clear that popular clothing stores do not cater for curvaceous physiques just the word fat sounds so negative and ugly it’s as if the media refuses to acknowledge that these people are even part of society I mean it’s one thing to say they don’t fit in with the model industry but to ignore them completely - it’s obscene

See the reason why this attitude is dangerous, is because of the impact it has on people mentally it creates insecurity and destroys young girls self esteem When the world focuses so much on body size you start to look at yourself differently You’re more conscious walking down the street filled with guilt you start watching what you eat obsessively counting calories the voices in your head keep you up when in your sleep you no longer think clearly It’s everywhere you go, the shopping centre, at school, in the library people shaming you, blaming you, such hate when they speak and you hear it so often, that even now you start to believe that you deserve all this hate, thinking to yourself that maybe the problem is me society has made you feel like a prisoner in your own body

From a young age girls and boys grow up hating the body that they’re in Feeling guilty when they binge, like they’ve committed a sin Thinking that the only way they’ll ever be happy is if only, just for one day they knew what it felt like to be thin believing that that will take all there problems away - when in reality - it doesn’t work that way true happiness comes from within - and to do that you need to love the skin your in any other way and you just won’t win just an endless cycle where you keep sinking and sinking

we’re obsessed with body size, there are countless videos on how to lose weight quickly online which is so unhealthy cos this is a process and these things take time according to magazines I have the perfect body size when in reality I am far from okay - I am medically underweight just cos I can fit into a size zero pair of jeans doesn’t mean my life is great! we’ve been led to believe that if we’re skinny then our life will magically fall into place, and everything will be happy and okay wake up, life doesn’t work that way what defines you is your character, your thoughts, your experiences - not your weight.

A generation where we starve yourself thin, so consumed by expectations and self hate, made to feel like your not good enough because you don’t look a certain way, like as humans we need to tick boxes to feel self worth, only then will you be respected. All carbon copy stick thin models, look perfect on the outside, but on the inside we are empty. No passion, no opinions, nothing interesting to say, - is this really our fate? Well I refuse for this to be the truth, there is so much more to life - it doesn’t have to be this way. it’s all just a sick game society has made, and you can either play and live a life filled with shame and self hate, or you can be brave, realise your own truth and walk away. live life your own way, where YOU have the ultimate say. If you want to lose weight, great, just make sure you do it the healthy way, and for the right reasons, understand that it’s process, and work at it day by day. I say all of this because even though I don’t know you, I still care, Now I’m not condoning excessive eating, but I don’t see how fat shaming is helping in anyway When will people realise body positivity is not about encouraging obesity It’s about allowing people for once in their life to accept their body without feeling ashamed or guilty. So this is why I stress, work on being healthy and make that you’re priority learn to appreciate and love yourself, and give yourself a chance to be happy.

- A poem from Taz, a person who inspires not only me but many others

-Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eQ1ZAjRvBE