#one thing they don’t tell you about retail is the amount of SQUATS you will do

[royaltea000]

local idiot works at pet shop even though he has a fear of barking

[gimmesumsuga]

Ps. I woof you

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Word count: 26K

Summary: The one with a happy accident of the furry, four-legged kind - “Are you calling my dog a slut?!” 

Warnings: Extreme fluff and domesticity, cursing, mild angst, smut inclusive of: fingering, oral sex (female receiving) and unprotected penetrative sex 

** Click here to read on Archive of our own (AO3) should the read more on mobile not work due to fic length **

Thank you @readyplayerhobi​ for my super cute banner and @johobi​ for the gorgeous moodboard! ^^

“Seriously?!” Sitting up with a suddenness that borders on miraculous given how fast asleep you were just a few blissful moments ago, you glare out into the darkness that fills your room.  

The wall opposite your bed may as well be vibrating, so insistent is the thud of bass that’s thumping through from the apartment next door, and if you thought you were pissed about being so rudely awakened in the middle of the night, that’s nothing compared to the indignance of your dog, Remi.  Barking her head off, you’re met by the sight of her pacing up and down the span of the wall once you turn on the light, blinking as your eyes adjust to the offending brightness.  

“This is just so not the time,” you hiss as you swing your legs out of bed and then stalk across the room to hammer your fist against the plaster, swearing under your breath.  Usually, you’re quite quick to try and stifle Remi when she gets her knickers all in a twist, but not right now - not when her yapping is perfectly justified and the dog next door then has the sheer gall to start barking back.  

“Oh, it’s on,” you grit out through your teeth, banging your fist against the wall with renewed vigour ‘til your fist is sore and Remi’s so worked up that she’s up on her hind legs pawing the paintwork right alongside you.  

Thankfully, your next-door neighbour soon gets the message and turns off his music, no doubt feeling cowed at having been met with such vehement disapproval from the opposite side of the wall.  You sigh, satisfied, but it seems Remi has no such intention of letting it go so lightly, her barking match with her nemesis next door carrying on despite the battle being over.  

“Hey, hey,” you hush as you squat down to her level, running your fingers through her fur, “It’s ok, you can stop now, Rem.  We won, it’s ok.”  She quietens slightly at the reassuring tone of your voice but, stubborn as she is, she remains determined to get the last bark in, growling low in her throat and staring at the wall until she’s absolutely sure that the dog next door has been forced to back down.  

She’s always been the same; vocal even as a pup.  She’s a canine of very few faults (or so you like to believe), but you’ll admit that she can be a little too loud at times - a little too quick to run her mouth off at the slightest unfamiliar noise despite you discouraging her from it as best you can.  

It was actually one of the reasons you and your ex broke up, as silly as that sounds.  He’d always been intolerant of Remi’s noise - of anything being anything other than perfectly perfect, frankly  - and the final straw had come when one day, in a fit of red-faced rage, he’d taken off his shoe and thrown it at her from across the room.   She’d yelped and ran off to hide, and that’d been it.  By dinner time that evening, he’d been in the process of moving out his things.  A two-year relationship over, just like that. 

Good riddance, as far as you were concerned.  Remi was your roommate years before he ever had been; your loyalties lay with her, as they do to this day.  

And boy, does she know it.  You think it to yourself now, as you lay back down in bed and she sits at your bedside with her chin rested on the covers looking up at you with her big, brown puppy-dog eyes.  

“Oh come on then,” you grumble, shifting over and patting the space you’ve made for her atop the duvet.  She leaps up, tail wagging, and quickly circles on the spot before lying down snuggled up against you, exhaling noisily in contentment as you fuss her soft, pointed ears. “You’re never going to make any friends if you keep barking at everyone all the time, you know.”  Remi closes her eyes, utterly unrepentant.  

Not that it’ll soon matter what the next-door neighbours think of you, that is - not if you don’t ace the interview that you’re due to attend in a disgustingly short amount of time.  You really should’ve gone to bed earlier, given that the ability to pay your rent is now riding on exactly three and a half hours sleep should you not manage to drift off again for what little time you have left before your alarm is set.  

Luckily, the slow rise and fall of Remi’s soft little body lying next to yours proves as soothing as you’d hoped it would, and you’re able to steal a couple of hours more of precious sleep before having to drag your unwilling carcass out of bed and into a pair of high heels.  Full of nerves, you bite your nails the whole way there and are forced to make a pitstop in a public restroom prior to your arrival (nervous bowels for the win), but despite all that, you get the feeling the interview actually goes rather well.  It’s not for anything fancy, mind - a retail position at one of the more high-end-but-not-quite-designer clothing stores in the city - but the woman quizzing you seems friendly enough, all nods and smiles and shiny white teeth.  You even manage to make her laugh, which is impressive given how lame your sense of humour can get when you’re nervous.  

She tells you that you can expect to hear back by the end of the working day, and whilst at first that sounds perfectly reasonable, by the time you’ve gotten home and changed into something more comfortable you’re already going out of your mind.  Remi seems to pick up on your unease, too, sitting dutifully by your side as you glance at the arm of the sofa where your phone lies every other second, her little ears alert and twitching.    

It’s only after you’ve checked it’s not on silent for perhaps the hundredth time that you finally decide you’ve had enough.  Decisive, you rise to your feet and slip on your shoes before grabbing Remi’s lead from where it hangs by the side of the door.  

“Who wants to go on a walk, huh?” you offer, but having already seen you reach for her lead, Remi is already beside herself with excitement.  Atop her back her fuzzy little tail is wagging up a storm, dusting back and forth across the floor once she finally calms down enough to plop her bottom down onto the laminate and let you actually attach her to the thing.  

“Ok, ok, don’t pull,” you murmur mostly for your own benefit as you open up the door and then pause to lock up, her lead looped around your wrist.  Heaven knows Remi’s not listening anyway - not when she’s this wound up.   “Jeez, I’m coming!” you complain, turning on the spot when she yaps impatiently only to take one step towards the staircase and then come to a complete stop once you realise someone’s already coming up the other way.  

That someone being Min Yoongi, your aforementioned next-door neighbour, and his dog, a little toy poodle you’re not entirely sure of the name of.  

If you’re honest, you’re barely on a first-name basis with the man himself, nevermind his canine companion.  You’re fairly certain you remember him introducing himself when you first moved in, but other than that you’ve had very little to do with each other since then apart from the one time you accidentally picked up his mail and he came knocking on your door in search of it.  You remember thinking he was cute, too, back then, but despite the smiles that you’ve offered up whenever you may pass in the hall, Yoongi has remained somewhat of a mystery.  

Is he just shy, perhaps?  Or is he really as aloof and disinterested as the perma-furrow in his brow might have you believe?  

Of course, as soon as Remi spots the other dog she starts whimpering and pulling even more with the want to go and say hello, which is ridiculous, really, because you know as the moment the poodle comes close she’ll turn tail and run - which lo and behold, she does.  Their noses have barely touched when she jumps backwards and then scampers to hide behind your legs, tangling you up in her lead as she goes.  

“Oh Remi, you big wuss!” you sigh as you fight to shuffle backwards enough for Yoongi and his dog to actually be able to get past - a task easier said than done given that the poodle seems set on chasing after her, tangling you up even more.  

“Holly, leave it,” you hear Yoongi warn as you peer down at the dogs dancing between your legs, praying for Remi not to do anything that might embarrass the both of you.  

She’s never been aggressive before - all bark and no bite through and through - but there’s always a first time… 

As if right on cue, Remi releases a deep, rumbling growl as a warning once it becomes apparent that Holly doesn’t have any intention of backing off without a fight.  You cringe at the sound, embarrassed.  

“Hey!  Be nice!” you scold as the other dog very quickly turns tail and runs back to his owner, startled.   You feel your cheeks fill with heat as Yoongi scoops Holly off the ground and into his arms, making a mental note to not give Remi any of her usual bedtime treats this evening.  

“I’m really sorry about that,” you gush despite Remi looking anything but, sat scratching herself at your feet without a care in the world.  

“It’s fine,” Yoongi shrugs, glancing down at Holly with a hint of a smile, “‘Bout time someone put him in his place.”  You can’t quite think what to say to that - caught off guard by how very different Yoongi looks when there’s a smile on his face rather than a frown.   

Yeah, he’s definitely cute.  Cute button nose?  Check.  Honey-boy smile?  Check.  Even the dye job on his hair is better than your own - a deep mahogany red to suit the changing of the seasons.  

Your silence earns you a quizzical look but no further comment, and mentally you kick yourself for being such an absolute loser as Yoongi turns and heads back towards his apartment, Holly still cradled in his arms.  

"And I'm sorry about last night!" you call after him like the unstoppable moron you are.  

Why would you bring that up?!  There's nothing but more awkwardness in-store by mentioning that, surely?! 

Still, deep down you feel obliged to offer some sort of apology.  After all, you expect Yoongi would have had the pleasure of having to overhear some of yours and your ex's more colourful arguments in the past.  Not to mention the fact that Remi decides to bark every time she sees a bicycle on the television screen.  

“It’s just… I had an interview this morning,” you explain as he slowly turns back around to face you again, one eyebrow slightly raised, “And I already went to bed late, so…” 

“Don’t worry about it.” You wonder if you’re imagining the way Yoongi averts his gaze and seems to shrink in on himself a little bit as he looks at Holly rather than you.  “I should apologise.  I didn’t realise how late it was.  Lose track of time when inspiration hits.”  

“Oh, that was you?” you enquire before stopping to think that maybe Yoongi might not want to share any further.  He appears to hesitate before answering, but when he does he offers you a small smile and another shrug of his shoulders along with it.  

“I’ve got a home studio,” he explains, exhaling with amusement before adding, “Not gotten around to soundproofing it yet.  Obviously.” 

So he works in the music business, huh?  You figure he must be pretty good, considering how you’ve always presumed it’s been mainstream chart stuff that you’ve been hearing through the walls in the past.  

“That’s really cool,” you grin, pleased to see him smile back, and you’re just about to open your mouth to keep the small talk going when all of a sudden Remi tugs sharply on her lead, jolting you off balance.  Flustered, you glare at her accusingly only to see her staring right back, impatient for the walk she’s been promised.  

Little madam would be tapping her paw on the floor and checking her watch if she only knew how… 

Giggling to mask your embarrassment, you make your excuses and bid Yoongi farewell, and you’re about halfway down the concrete steps to take you to the ground floor when suddenly his voice calls after you,

“How did it go?”  Looking up, you see his face peering down at you over the railings. The apples of his cheeks look even more pinchable from below; so smooth and sweet and round.  "The interview, I mean," he explains further when all you do is gawp back up at him, mouth hanging ajar.  

"Oh!" Could this really be real?  Is Yoongi - introverted, mysterious Min Yoongi -  taking an active interest in you?  Well, not you necessarily, but something to do with you, nonetheless.  "Yeah, I mean, I think it went pretty well."  He nods, seemingly satisfied with your answer. 

"Well, good luck with it," he says, and all of a sudden Holly's face pops over the side too, tongue lolling out.  At your feet, Remi grumbles disgruntedly.  

"Thanks," you reply, face aching with the effort it's taking for you to try not to grin too hard.  "Keeping all my fingers crossed."  Yoongi gives you one last final nod and then disappears out of sight, keys jingling as he opens his front door, and you’re left giddy in his wake.  

Realistically, you know this whole exchange was little more than every day ordinary - some might even say mundane - but it's caught you so off guard that you very nearly fall down the stairs when Remi barks you back to reality, tugging once more on her lead.  

"Oh alright, alright, alright…"

  ****

  Turns out, your gut feeling that the interview went well was right. 

Not that you’d actually found that out until much later on in the day, mind.  Thanks to all the faffing around you’d been doing with your phone prior to leaving the house, you’d managed to leave it by the front door rather than take it with you, and by the time you’d gotten home, there were three missed calls and a rather perturbed sounding voicemail waiting for you.  Still, better late than never, eh?  You were just glad your new employer hadn’t mistaken your sudden unavailability as a lack of enthusiasm; full of spluttered apologies and excuses by the time you eventually called them back.  

That was two weeks ago, now, and you’ve been pleasantly surprised as to how well things have been going so far.  Being a high-end store, the clientele are somewhat more demanding than you’ve been used to before, but the money’s good and your new colleagues have been more welcoming than you could’ve hoped.  Everything’s been coming up roses,  and whilst you’re revelling in your newfound financial security, Remi is… well, Remi’s not been taking to it quite so well.  

It was only a month or two that you were unemployed prior to starting this job, but it seems as though that was time enough for Remi to become all too accustomed to you spending all your time at home.  You’ve no idea how she is when you’re out during your shifts, but the way she sits whining at the front door whilst you get ready for work is enough to break your heart alone, and she’s so excited to see you every time you get back that it doesn’t take a genius to assume she’s been mourning your absence every moment that you’re gone.  

It makes you feel horrifically guilty, but what else can you do?  You need to work and dog sitters are a luxury you can't afford - at least not right now, anyway.   And so of course, like every individual who’s ever suffered with ‘mom guilt’, you end up over-compensating to make up for it; new toys, tastier treats, extra-long walks.  Basically, anything Remi might ever want.  

And it’s on one of these longer walks that you finally end up bumping into Yoongi and his canine companion again, meandering through the park nearest your home.  He doesn’t spot you, at first, which gives you ample opportunity to observe the fondness with which he watches Holly chasing the autumn leaves dancing along the path with each gust of wind.  You even get to hear him laugh for the very first time when Holly abandons the leaves and opts to chase his tail instead, and the whole scene is so endearing that you can’t help but stop and scrunch your nose at the two of them, grinning to yourself from where you linger further down the path.  

Does he have any idea how cute he is, you wonder?  You can’t imagine Yoongi would be the type of guy who’d appreciate hearing it, should you ever work up the courage to tell him so.  

“Hey!” you call out once you’ve mustered up the courage to finally reveal yourself, approaching them with Remi’s lead held firmly in hand.  On hearing your voice, Yoongi looks up from where he’d squatted down to give Holly a fuss, his small eyes widening infinitesimally once he realises it’s you. 

“Oh, hey,” he greets, quickly straightening up and brushing off the leaves that’d gotten caught on the front of his long, black coat.  

��How’s it going?”  You keep a close eye on Remi as you approach, and whilst she still tugs on the lead in an attempt to rush forward, you’re glad to find that this time around the two of them are somewhat calmer as to how they go about greeting each other.  There’s plenty of sniffing, still, and plenty of bouncing around, but apparently Holly is a quick learner and knows better than to come on so strong this time around.  

“Yeah, not bad.”  You can tell Yoongi’s a responsible owner by the way he closely watches Holly as the two dogs say hello, but as he glances up you can’t help but notice that there are dark circles under Yoongi’s eyes despite his profession of good health.  

Has he been staying up late again, absorbed in his music?  If he has, he must’ve had the forethought to use some headphones, as you haven’t been awoken during the night at all ever since that fateful evening a couple of weeks ago.  

“Hey, uh, how’d it turn out with that job, in the end?” Yoongi asks, and it’s stupid but you swear you feel your insides flutter with excitement at a) the fact that he remembered and b) would care enough to ask about it further on down the line.   

“Really good!” you reply as Remi sinks down into a playful stance amongst the leaves, bottom eagerly wiggling. “I got it, yeah!  Started last week.”  Yoongi smiles mildly, though it’s nowhere near the toothy grin you’d seen him bestow on Holly earlier.  What would you have to do to earn one of those, you wonder?  

“I figured you had.”  Your brows furrow in curiosity as he slips one hand into his pocket, shifting his weight.  

“Oh?  How’d you work that out?”  He glances at Remi for a second, pausing before he answers.  

“Your dog, Remi?” You nod, growing more curious with every second. “Well, she’s gotten kind of… noisy since you went back to work.”  

Oh.  Oh shit.  

Your embarrassment must show all over your face because Yoongi’s quick to continue explaining, his own expression turning into one of worry.  

“I mean, it’s no trouble.  It’s not like I’m trying to sleep or anything and my headphones cancel her barking out anyway,” he rambles as the two dogs continue to spring back and forth between the two of you without a care in the world. “It’s just… I feel kind of sorry for her, is all.”  

And oh boy, if you didn’t feel guilty already about leaving her than you sure do now.  What must Yoongi think of you?  Does he think you’re being neglectful of her?  That you’re some horrible, conscienceless owner?  Oh god, what if he reports you for animal cruelty or something?  

“I didn’t… um…” Realising you’re on the verge of bursting into tears, you purse your lips and look down at Remi for a second or two, trying to remind yourself that no matter what anyone may think, you’re doing the best you can.  She’s in good health and she’s happy… most of the time.  “I didn’t realise she was getting so upset while I was gone,” you say, blinking back the tears and forcing a smile as you shrug your shoulders like it’s not so much of a big deal.  “Maybe I’ll have to look into a sitter, or… or…” 

“I didn’t mention it to try and make you feel bad,” Yoongi gently interrupts, and you can tell that he’s being genuine from the tone in which he says it.  Somehow, he doesn’t strike you as the sort to bullshit someone just to spare their feelings.  “I’ve just been thinking; maybe I can take her out with me for a walk in the afternoon?  I’ll be walking Holly anyway, so…”  

“Are you serious?!” you exclaim, your sheer volume and enthusiasm so unexpected that Yoongi actually takes an involuntary step back, his eyes widening in alarm.  Even the dogs momentarily stop their play,  heads cocked to the side as they stare up at you, bemused.  “That’d be amazing, thank you!”  Yoongi smiles, rubbing bashfully at his neck, and if it weren’t for the fact you’re unsure of how he’d respond, you’d have thrown your arms around him already while you girlishly squeal your thanks.  

“Really, it’s no big deal,” he dismisses, but it’s too late.  As far as you’re concerned you’re already indebted to him for being kind enough to merely suggest it.  

“It is to me,” you smile and if you didn’t know any better you’d swear that Yoongi’s cheeks turn a softer shade pinker as he glances down at the floor, clearing his throat.  

“You can just drop a key over whenever.  Whatever’s easier for you.”  He shrugs his shoulders, all nonchalance in spite of your beaming smile.  Below you, Holly’s happily letting Remi clean the inside of his ears, oblivious.    

“Thanks, Yoongi.”  He looks up, and this time you know you’re not imagining the awkward blush dusted along his cheekbones.  “I owe you one.”  

It isn’t until later on, long after you’ve gotten home and whilst you’re trying (ie. failing) to get to sleep, that it suddenly dawns on you that there may be one potential downside to Yoongi’s generous offer.  

Now that you’ve given Yoongi your spare key, he can just come moseying on into your apartment any time he likes.  Any sane person would surely be concerned about the potential security risk that poses, surely, but you?  Oh no, your anxieties are centred around the fact that this means that Yoongi will get to see what an absolute shit-tip your apartment is and suss you out as the grotty little goblin you are, and thereby conclude that he should never, ever, ever speak to you again, for as long as you both shall live.  

Unsurprisingly, as soon as you realise this you’re even less able to sleep than you were before and proceed to spend the next four hours tidying up all the areas in the apartment you figure Yoongi is most likely to see.   You make a pretty good job of it, too, though you start to question whether it was worth it when you have to spend the next following day at work feeling as though you’ve got some sort of fatigue-induced hangover - dry mouth and all.  

It was, though, no doubt.  Once you finally arrive home all blurry eyes and aching feet, Remi seems a lot less manic than she has these past couple weeks when she’s been left alone.  She’s still pleased to see you, of course, but it’s a happy tail wag rather than a desperate nipping at your fingers or jumping up your legs like before.  You notice that Yoongi has re-filled her water bowl, too, and the calmness he’s imbued in her seems to last throughout the whole evening.  She's so calm, in fact, that you can’t help but wonder if he might’ve slipped something into said water bowl.  

If he did, you’d sure like to know what it was… 

And so it continues throughout the weeks that follow.  You and Yoongi never actually cross paths - much to your dismay - but Remi continues to relish her daily adventures out and about the town without you.  And it’s not just Remi that benefits from your newfound arrangement, either; with the time that you’d normally use to walk her yourself now no longer needed, you’re free to indulge in the self-care rituals that’d fallen by the wayside once the past few weeks.  Bubble-baths, face masks, deep cleanses - your skin has never looked better! 

“This is the life, huh Rem?” you sigh in contentment, glancing over to where she’s currently lounging atop the closed toilet seat opposite your bathtub, keeping you company whilst you luxuriate.   She says nothing, obviously, but looks happy enough with her chin rested on the sink and eyes half-closed.  She yawns, showing off all her teeth, and it catches - your mouth opening in a great big yawn as you reach out of the tub for the glass of wine precariously perched on the side.  

So what if it’s only three in the afternoon?  This is what weekends off work are for, and if Remi’s not judging you then you’re not about to go giving yourself a hard time either.

“What do you say to a little nap after this, hm?” Glass now empty, your fingers are starting to look a little bit pruney as you place it back on the side, and you take that as a sign to say you’ve been wallowing in your own filth long enough.  It’s time to make a move.  

With a great big groan of effort, you hoist yourself up out of the water and stand up, grinning to yourself at the little headrush that comes with it - purely from the change in blood pressure, obviously. Nothing to do with your midday alcohol consumption at all.  Unfortunately, your amusement is short-lived once you realise that in your eagerness to soak you’d completely forgotten to bring your towel along.  

“Ah shit,” you huff, climbing out onto the bathmat and then wiggling yourself in an attempt to drip dry as best you can before you venture out to where you know you’ve left it hanging on the radiator out in the hall.  Remi watches your shuffle curiously but it’s not as though she hasn’t already seen it all before, and you flash her a grin before covering up what you can with one hand and opening up the door, shivering a little as the cold air hits you.  

Suddenly, Remi darts out from the bathroom from between your legs, barking like mad, and maybe it’s because the alcohol has slowed your reflexes - or maybe you’re just a little slow in general - but it isn’t until you hear the front door shut and Yoongi calling Remi’s name that the slow realisation of what’s happening hits you. 

Remi's walk.  Yoongi's come to take Remi on her walk because as far as he knows you’re working, and why on earth would you have been smart enough to have had the forethought to let him know that you’re not?!   

“Hi Rem,” you hear Yoongi say once she’s finished yapping, her aggression replaced by excited whining as she no doubt dances around his feet.  Like an idiot, you’re so blindsided by his sudden arrival that all you can do is stand frozen in the hallway - the hallway that Yoongi would be able to see directly down should he only think to move a few paces to the left.  “You ready for walkies, girl?” 

Oh god, why now?!  Why you?!  

Remi lets out a bark of excitement and then, to your horror, you realise she’s turned tail and decided to come and fetch you to join in with all the fun, the bell on her collar jangling as she runs towards you, ushering in your doom.  

“Where are you off to?  You don’t want to go out today?  That’s a shame because Holly-”  The sound of Yoongi’s voice coming closer is finally enough to kick you into gear, and it’s with a yelp of alarm that you reach out and snatch the towel off the radiator and clutch it to your chest just in time for Yoongi to round the corner and come into sight.  

His eyes widen comically when he sees you, his mouth popping open as he freezes in the doorway and you scramble to cover yourself.  You’re not sure how much he actually saw but you think he must’ve seen something , judging by his reaction.  Between you, Remi runs back and forth, joyfully oblivious.  Your whole body feels aflame with embarrassment, and given the rising blush you can see on Yoongi’s cheeks you’d guess he’s not faring much better. 

“Um… I-”  you stutter out, holding the towel in place against your chest in case Remi decides to jump up your legs and yank it down. “I-I’m not working this weekend and-”  

Shamefully, Yoongi doesn’t even give you a chance to finish explaining.  With nothing more than a rapid series of blinks and a stiff nod, he turns around on the spot and walks out of your apartment faster than you’ve ever seen him move before, and though you and Remi rush aimlessly after him, he’s too quick to catch.  He doesn’t even shut the door after himself properly, so eager is he to escape.  

“Poor guy must've gone to pour bleach in his eyes," you sigh whilst Remi stares forlornly at the door as you press it shut, her tail hanging sadly between her legs.  You can only hope you haven’t scarred him for life and ruined your arrangement, and you tell yourself that it’s for Remi’s sake but really, you’re not sure your ego could handle it if it turned out Yoongi had taken one look at you naked and decided never to speak to you again.  

You run your fingers through the wet mass of tangles that is your hair, sighing once more as you head towards the kitchen, uncaring that you’re likely dripping bathwater all over the floor.  

“I think it’s time for another drink, Rem, don’t you?”  

  Remi doesn’t get walked that afternoon, much to her displeasure, and the reasons for that are twofold.  One - after having chugged down another two large glasses of wine in hopes of erasing your short-term memory, you were hardly in any fit state to pry yourself up off the sofa let alone walk around the block.    And two - even if you could walk, you would’ve still had to muster up the courage to step outside your front door.  Bumping into Yoongi and having him run away from you twice in one day was far too distressing a prospect for you to even consider attempting to move. 

Instead, you’d spent the rest of the afternoon lying about on the sofa, wallowing in your own self-pity until you’d fallen asleep in nothing but your towel, drooling all over the cushions.  It’d seemed like a good idea at the time, but the you of this morning is full of remorse having woken up with the back of her hair sticking out like a bird’s backside, a headache, and a craving for fried food that just won’t subside.  

It doesn’t help that Remi’s bouncing off the walls, either, and eventually you come to the conclusion that there’s really no way you can avoid taking her out for any longer.  You’re just going to have to pull on your big girl pants and if you see him, well… then you’ll just have to cross that bridge when it comes to it.  You’re both adults.  This shouldn’t be this big of a deal.  

But oh god it totally is because he’s so cute and what if he thinks you looked gross and oh god, oh god, oh god! 

But it’s fine.  Of course it’s fine, because you tell yourself it’ll be fine, and you didn’t bump into him for months at a time after you’d first moved in so why should it happen again now?  

Thankfully, fate appears to be on your side (or taking pity on you, at least).  You make it out of your building without seeing neither hide nor hair of your unwitting flashee - if that’s even a word - and despite having forgotten your purse, you still manage to find some change in the depths of your pockets for a snack from the food cart just outside the park.  

You munch it happily as Remi leads the way, darting from one side of the sunshine dappled pavement to the other to pee on everything she can find, and you’re just thinking about what a good call it was to get out of the house for a little while when you suddenly hear a familiar voice calling an all-too-familiar name and your stomach drops with dread.

Oh, fate can go fuck herself.  Fickle bitch. 

You come to an abrupt stop, eyes drawn to where your next-door neighbour is currently frolicking through the small field a little further down the path, just to your right.  

Frolicking is probably the wrong word, really, but you’re not sure what to call the gangly waving of arms and legs you can see going on past the small group of trees that’s concealing you from sight.  Holly’s off lead, you can tell that much, and Yoongi seems like he's having fun chasing after him, letting out some strange, high-pitched laugh when he almost trips over that has you guffawing in turn - a sound you quickly smother with the napkin you hadn’t yet thought to throw away.  

Yoongi drops to his knees amongst the grass and Holly is quick to take advantage, climbing up onto his owner’s lap to lick Yoongi’s face.  He groans and he grimaces, but you can still see him smiling as he wipes away the offending slobber, and you’re just about to start swooning at the way he’s lovingly fussing Holly’s ears when Remi startles you out of your reverie with a purposeful tug on her lead. 

Just like you, she’s spotted the object of your affections and is now desperate to make her way over, whining and pacing restlessly to and fro.  

“Rem, shh!” you hush when she lets out a bark of objection at your attempt to pull her back from the treeline.  As much as you enjoy seeing Yoongi you don’t actually want to see him right now, and if Remi keeps going the way she is you won’t end up with much of a choice in the matter.  

“Again, Hol?!  Really?!” Glancing over, you see Yoongi’s expression turn to one of distaste as Holly dips into a squat right in front of him, not a shred of thought spared for dignity.  You figure this is the best time to hurry on past while he’s suitably distracted but Remi doesn’t make it easy, pulling backwards as you try to walk on and then planting her bottom firmly on the ground once she realises brute strength is getting her very far.  

“I can just pick you up, you know,” you threaten, narrowing your eyes at her, but just as you’re stalking forward about to carry out the said threat, you’re distracted by the sight of Yoongi rummaging through his pockets, lips moving as though he’s grumbling to himself.  

You’ve seen that dance before; it’s one you know well, given how forgetful you can be.  He’s either forgotten his poo bags or run out of them altogether, and now you’re faced with the moral dilemma of knowing you have a brand new roll stashed away in your pocket.   As if sensing your hesitation, Remi stares at you as you squat down to her level, hands outstretched.    

‘Really?’ her eyes say, ‘Are you really going to just let him leave it there?  What if someone steps in it?  Think of the children -'

“Oh fine!” you huff, standing up straight and marching out onto the grass before you lose your nerve, Remi trotting along happily at your side.  

Must you really be so god damn conscientious all the time?  You swear it causes you nothing but trouble.

Before Yoongi’s even realised you’re there, you’re grabbing the roll from your pocket and thrusting it into his line of sight. 

“Here,” you offer as he startles, glancing from you down to Remi in momentary bewilderment.  You hadn’t meant to sound so gruff but unless you’d forced the word out you probably wouldn’t have been able to say anything at all, so you plaster a nervous smile onto your face in time for when he looks at you again, willing your posture to relax.   

“Uh, thanks,” he says he takes them from your palm and pulls one off, quickly putting it to good use.  Rather than stand there staring you turn your attention to Remi, mortified to see she’s taken a break from dancing back and forth with Holly in favour of sitting and licking her genitals in the most unladylike fashion.   

“Why don’t you go have a run with Holly and just… not do that,” you mumble as you bend to unclip the lead from her harness, granting her freedom.  She takes you up on your offer immediately, and the moment she’s loose the two of them go bounding off across the field as fast as they can go, Holly’s ears flapping in the wind.   You let out a laugh as Remi manages to dodge and weave around the slightly smaller dog, never quite letting him catch her but keeping close enough to maintain his interest. 

If only you were so skilled at the whole ‘treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen’ thing… 

“She’s really fast,” Yoongi comments, and as soon as he speaks it’s as though all the awkwardness comes flooding back for the both of you.  He can’t even seem to look you in the eye. “For a little dog.”  

“Yeah,” you chuckle back in the direction of your shoes, “She’s always acted like she’s twice her size.  Too big for her boots.”  

The two of you lapse into silence, Yoongi’s hands shuffling in his pockets whilst yours mess with your sleeves.  If only you could be so carefree as your canine companions who’ve now ceased their running and are circling around one another instead, sniffing each other out.  They’re having a great time, whereas the silence between you is quickly beginning to feel stifling, and you soon come to the conclusion that awkward or not, leaving things unaddressed like this is doing no good.  You’re just going to have to say something, even if it’s just to apologise and- 

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi suddenly blurts out just as you were opening your mouth to do the same.  Your eyes meet and then quickly dart away again, cheeks flushed with heat.  “I didn’t mean to walk in- I mean, I didn’t realise you were home.”  

“That’s ok,” you rush to excuse, “It was my fault, I should’ve let you know I wasn’t working.”  You brave a look at him, smiling sheepishly.  “Sorry if I… gave you a shock.”  Yoongi shakes his head, a small smile on his face as he waves his hand dismissively.  

“I’ve seen worse, believe me,” he chortles, and then as if suddenly realising what it is he’s just said his eyes ping open wide and his face fills with colour.  “Sorry, that sounded bad, I-” He stops talking when he notices you’ve startled giggling at his expense, your shoulders shaking with mirth.  What he said wasn’t even that funny - hell, some might even be insulted - but he just looks so adorable when he gets all flustered that you just can’t help yourself.  It’s either laugh or start cooing and pinching his cheeks, and you doubt he’d appreciate the latter.  Soon enough, he’s chuckling along too - albeit rubbing at the flush on his neck as he does so.  

“Is it just me or have you noticed how all of our conversations seem to end up with one us apologising?” you observe once you’ve managed to stifle your giggling, happy with how much lighter the mood feels now that you’ve aired everything out.  

“I hadn’t until you just pointed it out,” Yoongi admits, absently swinging the hand in which he’s holding Holly’s lead as he looks out across the field towards the two of them.  His profile is so pretty; such a sharp jaw for such rounded cheeks to sit on.  “I must make an effort to be more interesting.”  

“You’re already plenty interesting.”  The words are out of your mouth before they’ve even taken form in your head, and you instantly wish you could catch them and stuff them back in as Yoongi’s eyebrows rise, his head turning to look back your way.  “I mean… what I meant was-” you stammer as the smallest of smiles tugs at his delicate lips, and though you love to see it you can’t bear to look him right now, too busy wishing the ground would just swallow you up and-

“Shit!”  You sharply look up, just in time to see Yoongi take off running at full speed, and your heart starts pounding for a completely different reason as you look ahead to where he’s headed and realise what it is that has him moving so fast. 

Where the two dogs had been so happily sniffing around one another just a moment ago, Remi now seems to be in some sort of distress.  You immediately assume they’re fighting given how loud she’s whining, but as you take in the sight of Holly mounting her rear end you very quickly come to realise it’s the very opposite of fighting that’s the problem and start running after Yoongi, shouting in a futile attempt to discourage the two.  

You hadn’t even realised Remi was in heat, for Christ’s sake!  No wonder she was so keen on saying hello to Holly, today of all days!  

As luck would have it, Yoongi reaches them two just in time to intervene.  His owner’s arm-waving and shouting startles Holly so much that he dismounts without Yoongi even having to touch him, and whilst their owners are left out of breath and harrowed to the core, the two dogs go on about their business like nothing’s happened at all.  

“I’m sorry,” you gush, hands shaking you’re so flustered, “I didn’t realise she was in season.”  

There you go apologising again… 

You quickly go about putting Remi back on the lead as Yoongi does the same, and she’s all innocent eyes as she gazes up at you wondering what all the fuss is about.  

“It should be ok, I think.”  With Holly firmly back in hand, Yoongi takes a moment to straighten out his beanie that’d come all askew.  “They didn’t… uh…” 

“Yeah, no, I know what you mean,” you interject rather than have him saying it out loud.  They didn’t get stuck together is what he was probably trying to say, and really you’d rather not have a conversation about knotting right now.  You’ve had more than enough embarrassment for one day, thank you very much.  

“I think I should get this one home before we have any more near-accidents,” Yoongi muses, frowning as he looks down at Holly who’s still clearly expressing an interest, nose twitching in Remi’s direction.  

“Sure,” you agree, “And maybe we should hold off on the joint walks for a week or so?” You hate to suggest it because you know Remi’s going to be absolutely miserable without them, and you’re sure Yoongi would keep a close eye on them from now on, but it’s just not worth the risk.  “Just until her heat is over, anyway.”  

“Yeah, probably best.”  You expect that to be it, then, but much to your surprise Yoongi suddenly breaches the gap between you and bends in front of Remi, scratching her under the chin just as you know she likes.  “See you soon girl, ok?” he promises, and you swear you feel your knees weaken slightly at the way he says it in that low, dulcet tone of his.  And if they didn’t then, then they most definitely do when he looks up at you and smiles, the sunlight catching his eyes.  

“Yeah, see you later.” Starstruck, you answer somewhat robotically as he stands back to normal height with that same small smile still playing on his lips.  

“Later,” he says, making himself scarce before anything else has a chance to go wrong.  

You take a moment just to close your eyes; to collect yourself and calm your heart.  Remi's innocent little face is awaiting you once they open again, gazing up at you as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, and you can't help but soften as you bend down and run your fingers through her fur, sighing. 

"I know he's cute, Rem," you say, and part of you wonders whether it's Holly or Yoongi that you're talking about; Remi or yourself that you're talking to. "But you can't just go giving up the goods like that!"  She ever so sweetly licks your fingers - as if in penance - and you can’t help but wonder to yourself whether either of you is even really listening.  

At least she has the excuse of not being able to understand a word; you’re not sure what excuse your subconscious has for the numerous dreams it inflicts on you in the nights that follow.  Dreams of dark eyes, deep voices and long, wandering fingers that seem to linger on your skin even into wakefulness.  It doesn’t seem fair that whilst your sightings of the ‘real life’ Yoongi remain as sporadic and elusive as ever, you’re being haunted by his ever-so-alluring dream counterpart.  

It’s a stupid crush, really.  You know it is.  Your attraction to him is based on little more than his looks and the few short (and embarrassing) interactions you’ve had with the guy, and no-one is worth the realisation that you’re starting to resent your dog for all the time she gets to spend prancing around the park with him that you don’t. That's a new low, even for you.  

You’re just going to have to get over it, and as a couple of weeks go by with no further interaction between the two of you aside from the odd little post-it note left on your kitchen countertop once Remi's daily walks recommence, it gets a little easier to distract yourself from dwelling on the butterflies your next-door neighbour had been making you feel.  

Besides, if Yoongi was interested in pursuing something more than being your acquaintance surely he would’ve done it by now?  There’s no need for you to go messing up an arrangement that’s already working so well by getting feelings involved, especially if they’re not mutual.  Remi would kill you.  Or worse, Yoongi might start to think of charging you for his services rather than walking her out of the goodness of his heart.  Your new job may be going well, but that’s still not an option you’re in the position to afford.  

You feel as though you should do something for him, though.  You get the feeling Yoongi probably isn’t the type to appreciate a thank you card, and you’re not a good enough baker to go whipping up a batch of cookies or something else of the like.  Maybe you could splash out on a new piece of recording equipment the next time you get paid?  Hmm, but then that would require actually asking him what he wants, and no doubt it’ll be pricey if he’s using professional kit… Maybe you should just- 

“Oh, no, no, Remi, not there!  No!”  Panicked, you quickly pick Remi up off the sofa and rush her into the kitchen.  She continues retching even whilst in your arms and doesn’t stop until she’s finally thrown up this morning’s breakfast all over your laminate floor, uncaring of your whines of protest or the wrinkling of your nose.  

“See this is why-”  You groan with effort as you have to pick her up and move her out of the way to keep her from licking it all back up again.  You swear to god she’s getting heavier.  “-This is why you shouldn’t wolf everything down so fast!”  

Not that she’s ever had any issues with eating so quickly in the past.  Remi’s always gobbled down her food but it’s only the last day or two that she’s started bringing it back up again, and maybe it’d worry you if she seemed unwell in any other way, but she’s acting perfectly fine.  A little needier, perhaps, but you figure that’s just down to her missing her new playmate; she certainly isn’t shy about whining and pining after him whenever she can hear Holly next door.  

You’d even knocked on Yoongi’s door to check with him whether he thought Remi had seemed out of sorts at all, but he’d said he hadn’t noticed anything obvious either.  She’s not eating anything that she shouldn’t be and you haven’t changed her brand of food.  Sure, she might be eating a little bit extra of it lately but it can’t just be that, surely?  

Every sane person knows you shouldn’t google symptoms, but after you’ve cleaned up Remi’s mess and settled back down on the sofa, that's exactly what you find yourself doing.  With her curled up at your side, you scare yourself to death reading through all the horrible things that may or may not be the cause.  Parasites, liver failure, gastrointestinal blockages - none of them quite make sense because she’s perfectly fine - but as you continue to scroll there one possible explanation that catches your eye. 

Pregnancy.  

And suddenly it all clicks into place; Remi’s increased appetite, her cuddliness, the vomiting.  She’s pregnant!  

You twist in your seat, staring down at her peacefully sleeping form with wide eyes and a furiously beating heart, unable to comprehend that this might be true.  Your gaze strays to her stomach as though it might suddenly appear swollen now that the secret is out, but with all her long fur as covering she looks as normal as ever, leg twitching as she dreams.   

How can she be pregnant?!  You warned her about this - about giving away the goods too fast - and now look what’s happened!   Holly didn’t… they didn’t even…!  

Remi lets out a yelp of surprise as you suddenly scoop her up off the sofa and rush to your front door, in such a hurry that you don’t even bother to shut it after you as you storm down the hall.  Calling Yoongi’s name, you bang your clenched fist against his door with little care for how hysterical you might sound.  

Hell, you are hysterical!   What the bloody hell are you supposed to do with a litter of puppies?!  Your apartment is barely big enough for you and Remi, nevermind however many offspring she may be carrying!  

Yoongi’s bleary-eyed once he finally comes to the door, sleepiness adding to the bewilderment with which he squints at the sight of you red-faced and near hyperventilating.  It’s shameful that even as worked up as you are that your gaze still strays, unable to resist the lure of checking Yoongi out in his baggy tee and basketball shorts.  How is it that even his knobbly knees are so cute?!  

“Hey,” he greets, trying and failing to stifle a yawn that gives you an ever so lovely view of his tonsils.  He must’ve been up late working, and for just a moment you almost feel guilty for waking him up until Holly suddenly comes running to the front door as well.  Catching sight of Remi in your arms, he immediately starts to jump up your legs to try and reach her despite the death glare he’s greeted with. “What’s up?”  

“She’s pregnant,” you blurt out, thrusting Remi forward before placing her down on the floor so she and Holly can greet one another.  You can’t see the harm, after all.  It’s not as if he can go knocking her up again .   Yoongi’s brow furrows, head tilting as he sluggishly blinks, struggling to process this new information.  

“Sorry?”  

“Remi, she’s pregnant,” you state again, folding your arms across your chest as the words suddenly sink in and Yoongi's gaze plummets to the dogs at his feet.  “Holly knocked her up.”  For a moment, Yoongi says nothing.  All he does is stand there, rubbing the back of his neck as Remi affectionately nips and nuzzles at Holly, tugging on his ears.  

Finally, he looks up, eyebrows furrowed even deeper now.  

“How do you know it was Holly?”  Is he serious ?!  “I mean, you never know.  When they’re in heat they-” 

“Are you calling my dog a slut?!” you shriek, stepping forward so both Yoongi and the dogs are forced to move to accommodate your wrath.  He flinches, stepping back as the dogs scamper off somewhere further into the apartment.  “You were there!  We both saw them-”  Your arms flap as you search for the word, so outraged your face feels as though it’s on fire from all the red-hot blood rushing through your veins.  “- Canoodling !”  

If Yoongi weren’t so cute, you swear to god you’d kick him in the shins for the way the corners of his lips twitch at your choice of words.  

“Ok, alright,” he relents, cleverly deducing that trying to reason with you right now would be a fool’s game.  He glances over at the dogs, now cuddled up together in one of his armchairs.  “Just… how about we hold off on the meltdown until after we’re sure?”  Your eyes narrow despite knowing he’s right, unwilling to admit that just yet.  

There’s always the possibility you could be wrong.  The website you were looking at had so many different potential causes for her symptoms that it wouldn’t be impossible for it to be something else.  It might even turn out to be nothing at all.  

“I guess,” you admit after a moment has passed, unfolding your arms and letting them fall to your sides as you will your shoulders to relax.  

“The vet can do a scan, right?” Yoongi suggests, “Then we can figure out what to do if…” He glances at them again, drawing your eyes their way.  You have to admit they do make a very sweet looking couple, all curled up together like that.  “... if she is.”  

You bite your lip at the thought of the potential cost - you’ve got no idea how much it might cost or even when the right time to book it would be.  As if reading your mind, Yoongi speaks up again, rubbing at his neck once again. 

“I don’t mind splitting the cost if you want,” he offers, though he sounds a little awkward.  “You’re probably right about it being Holly…”  ‘Probably’ is a bit of an understatement, you think, but you’re not about to argue the semantics.  If you’re honest, you’re just feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of this; by the situation in itself and how level-headed and kind Yoongi has been to step up on Holly’s behalf so quickly.  

“They are a bit smitten with each other, aren’t they?” you smile, feeling a little calmer.  This could be a lot worse, you suppose.  The father could’ve just been some random dog in the park and you’d have been left facing this all alone.  

“Just a little,” he agrees, hands rested on his hips, and you swear the smile that blossoms on his face as he looks over at them is the sweetest one you’ve ever seen - your heart fluttering despite the promise you made yourself to get over this little crush.  

They’re not the only ones at risk of getting smitten, you think. 

“Anyway.”  You clear your throat in a futile attempt to get a hold of yourself. “Sorry for just barging round.  We’ll get going and let you get some more sleep.”  You call Remi’s name and she sleepily raises her head, refusing to move until you call her twice more, clapping your hands.  

“No worries. It’s about time I got up,” he says. “And what happened to us not saying sorry all the time, hm?”  Yoongi smiles crookedly, folding his arms, and god, it’s only the slightest bit of friendly teasing, so why is your heart racing so fast? 

“Whoops,” you giggle, acutely aware of the blush that’s warming your cheeks as you scoop Remi up in your arms. “I’ll try to do better.”  

“Then I'll expect your best,” Yoongi grins as he escorts you back to the door, and you swear to god you’re about to spontaneously combust any second.

“I’ll let you know about the scan, ok?”  He nods, returning your little wave as you say goodbye and then shutting the door before Holly has the chance to escape out into the hall after you.  You pause on the doorstep, willing your heart to calm down.  

“Oh you’re one to talk,” you hiss back at Remi when you notice her stare, wide-eyed and unblinking. The two of you wouldn’t be in this mess if she could’ve just kept it in her pants.  “You better hope I’m wrong about this, missus.”  

  You’re not, though.  The ultrasound scan that you attend the following week confirms your suspicions; Remi’s pregnant, about four weeks gone, and though the vet couldn’t be sure, she’d estimated her to be carrying at least three puppies.  She sends you away with her congratulations and an armful of literature - essentially the doggy equivalent of ‘what to expect when you’re expecting’ - and you spend the next hour after you leave the vets wandering the pet store aisles in some kind of daze, desperately trying to figure out which food you should buy.   

“Do you have any idea-” Yoongi looks surprised to see you when he opens the front door - Remi’s lead in one hand and a deluxe bag of dog food tucked under the other. “-How many different varieties of grain-free puppy food there are, Yoongi?”  He blinks, unsure, so you answer for him.  “Twelve.”  You can feel the bag starting to slip but you’re lacking the motivation to stop it, too overwhelmed from the morning you’ve had to want to fight anymore.  “Twelve. And not one single store assistant could tell me what the hell difference there is between any of them.”  The bag finally falls but luckily Yoongi’s right there to catch it, a furrow of concern creasing his brow.  “And it’s not even for the puppies.”  

“You… look like you could use a coffee,” Yoongi observes, stepping back from his doorway as he holds the bag against his chest.  

“Yes, thank you,” you sigh, stepping inside and bending down to let Remi off her lead as Yoongi puts the bag down by the front door and closes it.  

“So she’s definitely pregnant, then?” he asks as he reaches down to fuss Remi when she over bounds his way, tail wagging.  Holly follows quickly after but it’s not Yoongi he’s interested in - he’s too busy sniffing and licking at the bag of food.  

“Yep.  Triplets, apparently.  Or more, if we’re really lucky.”  Yoongi chuckles softly at the sarcasm in your tone, a faint smile on his face as he rounds the kitchen island and pulls out a stool on which you promptly sit, resting your elbows on the counter.

You hadn’t really taken the time to appreciate the decor the last time you got a glimpse inside Yoongi’s apartment, but now that you’ve got a minute you can’t help but notice how nicely put together the place is.  Yes, there’s some dirty dishware in the kitchen sink, and yes, his apartment is pretty much the same as yours in layout - just the other way around - but the warm, earthy tones of the place make it feel… cosier somehow.  More homely than the stark white walls and metallic countertops your ex-boyfriend had insisted you install back at your place.  

The smell of freshly brewed coffee grabs your attention, and you watch quietly as he pours you each a cup from a fancy looking cafetiere.  He’s surprisingly delicate in the way he moves - his long fingers deft and precise.  

“Milk?  Sugar?”  

“Yes.  And two please,” you mumble, still wallowing in your perceived misfortune.  At least you’ve got a nice view; Yoongi’s looking especially cute today in ripped jeans and a sweater that looks far too large, sleeves dangling as he reaches into the fridge.  

He takes his coffee with just the slightest touch of milk.  No sugar.  

“It’s not the end of the world,” he says eventually, breaking what would have been silence if it weren’t for the sounds of Remi and Holly play-fighting in the living room.  You swallow the sip of coffee you’d just taken - infinitely more flavorful than the cheap instant stuff you use at home. 

“I know,” you relent with a sigh.  You just hate feeling so out of your depth!  Usually, you research to death any kind of life choice you’re about to make - weighing out the pros and cons, thinking of any possible eventuality and most likely talking yourself out of it in the meantime - but you know nothing about dog breeding or raising puppies.  You’d never forgive yourself if you inadvertently did something wrong and Remi ended up getting sick or one of the puppies got hurt or- 

“My brother’s dog had puppies a couple years back, I can give him a call,” Yoongi says, as calm and level-headed as ever, “We go halves on everything and then split the profits afterwards.”  

“You think we should sell them?”  

“Well I hadn’t really planned on getting another dog anytime soon.”  His lips curve into a smile against the edge of his cup and you can’t help but smile in return, sighing again.  

“You think people will want them?” you ask after taking another sip and Yoongi puts down his cup to reach into his pocket, pulling out his phone.  

“I did a little research,” he says, rounding the counter to come and stand next to you, thumb tapping away at the screen.   Standing this close you’re able to smell his cologne; a soft yet masculine scent.  Does he realise how close he is, you wonder?  Or rather, does he have any idea how he’s got every single one of your nerve endings on high alert?    “Look,” he instructs, turning his phone your way to show you a picture of one of the most adorable little dogs you've ever seen.  It's got Remi's pointed little nose and brilliant white fur, but being half poodle that fur is slightly curly rather than straight, and unlike Remi's pointed ears, this dog's are long and floppy just like Holly's.

In short, it's frickin adorable.  

"Oh my god!" you squeal before you can help yourself, stealing the phone from Yoongi's grasp to get an even closer look. You keep scrolling through Google images and you swear each puppy is even cuter than the last, knees bouncing under the counter as your thumb relentlessly swipes.  

You totally miss the fondness with which Yoongi observes your excitement.  He's usually rather possessive over his tech, but you're just so enthusiastic he can't bring himself to cut your 'ooh-ing' and 'aww-ing' short - especially given how miserable you looked when you first arrived.  "They're so adorable, oh my gosh."

"I don't think we'll have any trouble finding buyers if they come out looking like that," he says, slipping his phone back into his pocket once you coyly handed it back, careful to avoid the brushing of your fingers. 

"No, you're probably right." If anything, you'll probably have trouble giving them up yourself!  Yoongi returns safely to the other side of the counter, smiling softly as he picks up his cup in both hands and takes another sip.  

"We'll figure it out," he assures you, and somehow, despite all your anxieties and doubts, there's something about Yoongi's voice that makes you put all your faith in him.  

Mind now at rest, the two of you chat whilst you finish your coffees, not just about the dogs but other things as well; his impressive home entertainment system, your plans for Christmas and various theories about the strange Mr Jung who lives alone on the floor below and yet can be heard shouting all hours of the day.  

It feels so easy to talk to him.  Familiar, almost.  Like you and Yoongi knew each other in a past life and have somehow found one another again.  

Or maybe you're just a hopeless romantic who's reading way too much into things but hey, you're not hurting anyone.  Just yourself, maybe, and you can live with that.  

"Thanks for the coffee," you smile as the conversation reaches a natural lull.  You're reluctant to leave but you'd rather not risk overstaying your welcome and turn what has been a lovely interaction sour.  

"Any time," Yoongi smiles in return.  This time you don't manage to avoid the brushing of your fingers as you hand your coffee cup back, and as your fingertips touch you end up pressing your thighs together under the counter from the thrill that runs through you.  Thank god he doesn't see it, lest Yoongi realises just how sexually deprived you've been since you and your ex broke up.  

Better leave now whilst you still have some semblance of self-control left. 

"Ok Rem, time to head on home," you call, slipping off the stool.  You pause, expecting to hear the jingling of the bell on her collar as she trots her way over to you, but nothing comes. "Remi?" You make your way into the living room only to find her curled up with Holly in that same spot on the sofa as last time, and if she heard you then she's certainly not acting as though she did.  "Rem, c'mon, gotta go."  Lazily, they lift their heads in perfect unison and yet Remi remains unmoving, yawning and stretching as Holly rolls onto his back.  

Glancing behind you, you ensure Yoongi is well out of earshot before squatting down so that you and Remi are eye to eye.  

"Look, I don't want to go either, but we don't want to overstay our welcome now, do we?" you whisper quietly, giving her fair warning before you slip your hands under her fuzzy little body and lift her from the seat. 

"Don't be sad." You almost jump out of your skin when you suddenly hear Yoongi right behind you, very nearly dropping Remi in your haste to turn around.  Apparently, Yoongi isn't a great believer in personal space (or else is oblivious to it) because he's close enough that he doesn't have to move an inch in order to reach out and stroke her fur, smiling. "We'll see each other soon," he reassures, looking up at you before adding, "Won't we?" 

"Yeah, definitely," you confirm, nodding like an idiot, and as though she understands Remi gives a little low rumble of contentment as she leans her head back against your chest, exposing her chin for scratches that Yoongi can't resist supplying.  

"I'll come fetch her for her walk tomorrow as normal." Yoongi pauses as he withdraws his affection, scratching behind his ear and keeping his eyes on Remi as he asks, "You are working tomorrow, aren't you?" 

Instantly, your cheeks flush with heat as you realise his intention for asking. "Y-yeah." God forbid he almost walk in on you semi-nude all over again… "Thanks." 

"No problem," he smiles, meeting your gaze.  You shyly return his smile, unable to think of anything more to say as he sees you to the door except to wish him goodbye, blushing once more when he quietly utters it back along with your name. 

It should be criminal for someone so good looking to have a voice so sexy.  How's a girl supposed to stand a chance?  Even when you're no longer in his presence, you can't stop thinking about him; his calm demeanour, his subtle smiles, the warmth he exudes around both Remi and Holly.  If he were just attractive that would be one thing, but now you're getting to know him more, little by little… boy, you're in trouble. 

And Remi doesn't seem to be faring much better, either.  Every small noise from next door that could possibly be her four-legged love has her pacing and whining, so eager to go to see him that every time you come home you have to be careful she doesn't dart out into the hallway between your legs and go scratching at Yoongi's door.  

Apparently, Remi's not concerned with the notion of looking desperate, which is why one evening when you come home and you're met with nothing more than silence and an empty apartment, you're more than just a little worried.  

Has she climbed her way out onto the balcony?  Shimmied across the window ledges mission impossible style in a desperate attempt to reach Holly next door?  

Unlikely, but you follow your gut instinct anyway and head over to Yoongi's as calmly as you can.  You take a deep, steadying breath as you knock on his door, trying to keep the rising sense of panic at bay.  You've already had a not so great day at work - too many customers with not enough manners.  The last thing you need now is a missing dog to add to the list.  

"Have you seen Remi?" you blurt out as soon as the door starts to open, frowning from the headache throbbing at the back of your skull.  "I just got home and she's not there and-" 

Yoongi's mouth opens but he has the chance to speak, the sound of Remi's bell does all the talking for him, jingling loudly as she comes running towards the door.  

"Hey you!" Your knees click as you bend down to fuss her, one hand on the hem of your skirt to make sure it doesn't ride up too far. "You scared me!"  Remorseless, Remi flops onto her side and cocks her leg up in invitation for you to stroke her stomach.  It's slowly starting to expand underneath all the fuzz, and despite your recent panic you still can't help but smile to feel it.  

"Sorry, should've left a note." Behind you, you hear the front door click shut.  Remi quickly has her fill of tummy rubs, and as she runs away back to Holly, you stand up straight and turn to Yoongi, endeared by the uneasy expression on his face and the awkwardness with which he shoves his hands into his pockets. "I keep hearing her whining after I've dropped her off, so I figured it wouldn't hurt for her to just stay a while longer 'till you get home." 

God, there he goes again being an absolute sweetheart. 

"Shouldn't have just assumed," he apologises but you're quick to wave it off, smiling.  

"Not at all.  Just glad she's safe." Yoongi smiles, hands coming out of his pockets, and as he walks on past you into the kitchen you're suddenly hit with the smell of cooking; onions and garlic and a sweet-smelling sauce.  

"You hungry?" he asks as he approaches the stove.  

You can't resist the opportunity to take a really good look at him whilst his back is turned; the epitome of effortless style in his open plaid shirt and skinny jeans.  He's barefoot, you realise, and you're not sure why you find that so attractive but you're not about to go analysing it now. Not when he's turned to look at you so expectantly - almost like you've completely missed something he's just said in favour of ogling how nicely the pockets of his jeans frame each of his perfect little butt cheeks.  

"Sorry?" you ask stupidly.  

"I always make too much," he says, mercifully turning back to his frying pan quick enough that he might have missed the blush on your cheeks. "Plenty to go around.  If you want." 

Wait.  Is Yoongi… Asking you to stay for dinner?  And do your eyes deceive you, or is the back of his neck turning a delightful shade of pink as he waits for you to answer?  

No.  No, that'd just be ridiculous.  You're just leaping to conclusions - presumptuous and delusional - but then… why are there already two place settings laid out on his small dining table?  Why is there an extra wine glass standing empty on the counter next to the one that's only half full?  

Did he… plan this out?  Hell, if he did, you're not about to go looking a gift horse in the mouth.  Fighting back a nervous smile, you remove your cardigan and hang it over the back of one of his bar stools as casually as you can. 

"Sure," you agree, untucking your blouse from your skirt before sliding onto the same stool to watch Yoongi plate up. "Smells a lot better than anything I could cook up." Would it be too much to go unbuttoning a couple of buttons on your blouse too?  Show a little skin?  

You're reaching to do just that when suddenly Yoongi turns around with his frying pan in hand and you promptly chicken out, clearing your throat.  From behind you, Holly and Remi come running into the room, and Yoongi gets distracted when your little lady starts pawing at his leg, vying for attention.  

"You want another treat, huh?" With his free hand, he plucks a little brown ball off of a baking tray by the sink and promptly throws it up in the air for Remi to catch, and as soon as it's within her jaws she lies down and merrily begins to chomp, crunching and munching away.  

"What's that?" you enquire as Yoongi recommences dishing up, spooning a chicken and vegetable something or other onto a bed of rice.  It's a good job you're not a fussy eater or else you might be slightly alarmed that he hasn't even told you what you're having…"The treat, I mean."  He looks up from sliding his frying pan into soapy water already waiting in the sink, glancing down at Remi.  

"Just some recipe I found online," he explains, casual as ever.  He brings over the wine glass you'd noticed earlier and offers to fill it with a tilt of the bottle, doing so when you nod.  "She needs the extra calories."

"You made them yourself?" you ask, incredulous that Yoongi would go so far and be so considerate as to go searching for homemade doggie treats.  He nods somewhat bashfully, avoiding your gaze as he carries both your plates over to the table and takes a seat. "You're unbelievable," you laugh before you can help yourself, wine glass cradled in both hands as you join him at the table.  

Perhaps it might be best not to drink too much of said wine.  Seems your tongue is loose enough already without adding extra lubrication.  

“I just mean-” You hasten to explain your brazen compliment, not missing the way Yoongi’s eyebrows lift in surprise when you reach for chopsticks rather than the knife and fork he’d placed beside your plate. “- My ex couldn’t even be bothered to learn how to use the washing machine, nevermind bake little organic dog treats in his spare time.”

Glancing over at Remi, you see her standing on her hind legs against the kitchen cupboards in desperate hope for more, and damn, now you’ve gotten a taste of Yoongi’s cooking you can totally understand why! 

“Oh my god ,” you groan around your mouthful, chopsticks clicking frantically as you gather up the next, completely distracted from whatever the hell it was you were just saying.  

“It wasn’t all organic,” you hear Yoongi mumble, cheeks pink as he takes a sip of his wine.  Is that just a little alcohol-induced flush you spy?  Or is he secretly flattered?  “Just the peanut butter.”  You smile, chewing ceaselessly as Yoongi deposits one very large mouthful into his not-nearly-so-small-as-it-looks mouth.  He fills his cheeks so full that for a few glorious seconds he resembles some kind of adorable human/hamster hybrid; so cute you just want to reach out and- 

"Always had your ex pegged as kind of an asshole, to be honest," Yoongi admits, eyes focused on his plate, and it's not so much the talking with his mouth full that has you nearly choking on your food - it's the bluntness with which he does it.  He looks up as you splutter, reaching for your wine. "No offence." He looks mildly alarmed as you cough once more. "It's just I used to hear him all the time through the walls, shouting his mouth off." 

"None taken," you wheeze, taking a sip of wine to clear the tickle that's left in your throat.  Your eyes are watering and no doubt your face is red, but that's the least of your worries right now, mortified to imagine just how many arguments Yoongi must've overheard during all the time that douchebag was part of your life.  

"Sorry if I'm overstepping the mark…" You shake your head quickly, waving off his concerns as Remi and Holly come trotting over as though to check on you.  Not that you're so naive as to really believe that - no doubt they're here to scavenge scraps off of the table rather than to ensure your wellbeing.  

"Not at all," you chuckle, "Asshole is probably putting it lightly.  Never really have had the best taste in men." Yoongi exhales a breathy laugh, smiling wryly.  

"Gotta kiss a few frogs to find the Prince, right?" You end up smiling even harder at that, snorting into your wine.   A few is probably an understatement, but that's not information Yoongi needs to know.  

"Sure he'll turn up one day," you muse, sounding ever so slightly wistful.  Your eyes meet Yoongi's from across the table and a beat passes, no words said as the two of you look at one another.  You don't dare move - even breathe - lest you risk breaking… whatever this moment between you may be. 

Unexpectedly, you feel soft fur against the bare skin of your leg and it startles you despite knowing full well what it is.  When you look down, you see Remi staring at you meaningfully, her eyes locked with yours even as she trots her way to the other end of the table to paw at Yoongi's leg, asking for a fuss.  

'I like this one, ' her eyes seem to say as Yoongi reaches down to pet her, smiling fondly, 'You should give this one a try.'

Oh, if only. 

“We can do this more often if you want,” Yoongi offers as his attention returns to his food.  “I don’t mind watching her ‘till you get back from work.”   

“Are you sure?” Once again you’re floored by Yoongi’s casual generosity.  He doesn’t even look up as he bobs his head in confirmation, his mouth too full to respond. 

“She’s no trouble,” he tells you once he’s eventually swallowed, “And Holly likes having her around.”  

“That’d be amazing,” you smile, “Thank you.”  He returns your smile - small, short and sweet - and you swear each and every time he flashes you a grin you end up falling just that little bit more.  

"Does that mean I have even more delicious dinners to look forward to?" you ask, surprising yourself with how flirty you sound.  How brave.  

Yoongi laughs at your forwardness, sputtering into his wine.  You don't really expect him to answer - assume he'll just laugh it off and not say anything at all - but Yoongi looks rather serious as he puts down his glass; his gaze so intense that for a second you actually forget how to chew.  

"If you're lucky," he promises, and oh boy, you hope you will be. "But next time, you bring the wine." 

  And so, you do.  

Every night throughout the week that follows, you pay a visit to the corner store on your way home to pick up a bottle of white, or rose, or red.  You're fairly certain the cashier might suspect you of having some sort of drinking problem, actually, but Yoongi's been so grateful that you can't stand the thought of turning up empty-handed.  And It’s not even as though you always drink the whole bottle, anyway.  It’s just a glass with dinner on Wednesday and Thursday, and then one extra on Friday and Saturday when Yoongi invites you to stay a little longer.  

And ok, so maybe he doesn’t actually ask you to stay, but when a guy starts asking whether you’ve seen this new show he really likes and turns on Netflix, what are you supposed to think?  

You end up thoroughly enjoying the hours you waste away sitting at the opposite end of his sofa with Remi in your lap, even the lazy Sunday evening that Yoongi spends watching some god-awful competitive fishing show that you pretend to like just because it makes him smile.  

It’s funny how simple a creature Yoongi turns out to be, considering how mysterious he’d first seemed.  He’s a man of few words but what he does say is always interesting, and you’d like to think you’ve gotten to know him pretty well as the week’s gone by.  He’s considerate and hard-working, introverted and yet speaks so fondly of the few friends he professes to have.  He loves music and fishing, cooking and expensive wine, and when he’s tipsy his voice gets even slower and deeper - his tone so dulcet that you could happily listen to him talk all night. 

By the end of the week you’ve spent more time in Yoongi’s apartment than you have your own, and you won’t pretend for even a second that you’ve thought that it’s a bad thing.  You’re well and truly smitten; the favourite part of your day now the moment you come home and have both Yoongi and the dogs there to greet you, even though that home is not your own.  

Picturing that - thinking of him - is the only thing that’s gotten you through the shittiness of your last few hours at work.  You really do enjoy your job, for the most part, but some days are inevitably better than others and today… today was a bad, bad, bad day.  The kind of bad day that has you searching the liquor aisle for the whisky with the highest volume of alcohol you can possibly find - the same bottle that you later slam down on Yoongi’s kitchen counter having already let yourself into his apartment, sighing every step of the way.  

“Bad day?” he asks, not yet having turned around to see the miserable look on your face.  You can’t bring yourself to say anything, too focused on trying to hold yourself together after having struggled to do so all afternoon, so you stay quiet as you give Remi the fussing she’s after.  Her tail is wagging with a glee you’re envious of, her fuzzy tummy growing more and more round by the day.  

“I can make this Irish if you want.”  You look up to see Yoongi standing beside you with a mug of coffee held in both hands and a soft smile on his face, and suddenly it’s just all too much.  The dam inside you that’d slowly begin to crack throughout the day finally bursts at the sight of him - overcome with emotion at having him treat you so kindly after having faced such rudeness and meanness for hours on end.  

“I’m sorry!” you squeak out as you burst into tears, your elbows meeting the counter as your face falls into your hands, not wanting to have Yoongi see you cry.  You can’t see anything with your eyes so tightly screwed shut, but if you could you’d witness the look of shock appear on Yoongi’s face - see his eyes widen and his lips slightly part as the rest of him freezes, unsure of what to do.  

You really try your best to stem your tears, but you’re so embarrassed to have him see you like this that it only makes you cry harder, shoulders trembling as you curl in on yourself in an attempt to hide.  

“I just h-had such a h-h-horrible day,” you sob, “This one w-woman - this bitch - she was s-so m-mean and she wouldn’t just-”  You abruptly stop speaking as an arm is suddenly laid across your shoulders, and before you realise what’s happening you’re being pulled into an embrace; your face nestled into a soft sweater.  

“Hey, hey,” you're gently shushed, and it’s not so much that Yoongi's comforting you that helps to calm you down, nor the feel of one of his large hands rubbing up and down the length of your back.  It’s more the shock of having Yoongi actually touch you that allows you to finally start catching your breath, your hands unknowingly reaching out to hold onto him.  “Whatever happened, it’s over now, right?  It’ll be ok,” he soothes.  

“Uh-huh,” you whisper into fabric, silently praying that your nose hasn’t run all over it, and although you’re no longer crying you allow yourself a moment more to enjoy the feel of his arms around you.  He smells wonderful - his slight body warm and firm pressed against you - and all you want to do is tighten your grip on his sweater and pull him even closer; tilt your head to skim your lips against his throat.  

“You ok?” Yoongi asks, and as you finally lift your head and dab away the moisture from under your eyes the last thing you expect is to feel his fingers fleetingly touch your hair.  You meet his gaze and the concern you see there is almost enough to make you start crying all over again - but then you watch as his pupils dart back and forth, up and down as he scans your face - and suddenly… suddenly you're kissing him. 

Or is it him who's kissing you? 

You're not sure who it is that makes the first move, but regardless of whoever the instigator may be, your mouths still meet in the middle.  Yoongi's lips are soft but his kiss is firm - purposeful - and utterly takes your breath away.  You make a grab for him again, clutching at the fabric at his hip to keep him close as you sweep your tongue across the seam of his lips, Yoongi's hands coming to rest upon your face.  They're so warm, so gentle as he traces your cheekbones with his thumbs, and-

All too soon he's pulling away, brought to his senses the moment he feels the moisture that lingers on your cheeks, and the quiet whine of protest that you're unable to hold back has your face burning with shame.  

"S-sorry," he rapidly stammers out as he stumbles back out of reach, retreating to the other side of the counter; a barrier between you.  His cheeks are flushed with the same heat as yours, unable to meet your eyes as he wipes at the corner of his mouth with his thumb and then rubs the side of his neck. "I didn't mean… I mean… you…" 

Oh lord, this is awkward.  So, so awkward!  What the hell did you have to go and kiss him for?!  He looks so painfully uncomfortable right now that you're sure he'd rather melt into the floor than look at you, and oh my god you're such an idiot!  What kind of moron goes snogging someone's face off at the slightest bit of physical contact?  Are you really that touch deprived?! 

"Sorry," he repeats, "You're upset-" You're already up and out of your stool before Yoongi even has the chance to finish his sentence.  

"I should just go," you blurt out as you pick Remi up off the floor and into your arms despite her huffed exhale of protest.  You're being a coward, you know that, but you're too fragile right now to go through the whole 'let you down gently' routine without sobbing all over again - especially if it's coming from someone you're so crazy about.  

No, you'd rather just see yourself out now and save him the bother.  Best for everyone if you just pretend this never happened… 

"Thanks for watching her."  You're moving too quickly for him to protest - to do anything but stand with his mouth agape as you race for the front door like the very flames of hell are licking at your heels.  

"Don't forget your-!" you hear Yoongi call, pulling the front door shut behind you too fast to make out the end of his sentence.  You scurry down the hall back to your own apartment, and it’s only as you’re struggling to get inside with Remi still balanced on your hip that you realise your hands are lightly shaking.  

“Never happened,” you mumble to yourself once you finally get the blasted thing open, relinquishing Remi from where she’d begun to wriggle and squirm in your grasp.  “Never happened.  It was just one stupid, silly kiss.”  You lean back against your front door, exhaling a sigh.  “Just… forget about it.”  

And oh, you really try.  You try everything and anything you can think of to get Yoongi off of your mind, but nothing works; not mindless trash TV, not blasting your favourite tunes while you’re in the shower - not finishing off the bottle of wine leftover from the night before last.  If anything, alcohol just makes things ten times worse.  As you lie on your bed amidst a tipsy haze, all you can think about is the way his lips felt pressed to yours and of how he tasted like the coffee you hadn’t had the chance to drink.  The low noise he’d made in the back of his throat when you’d grabbed at his clothes.  It was so hot… he’s so hot, and more than anything you just want to go back there right now and- 

You groan aloud in frustration, raking your fingers through your hair to keep them from finding their way into your pants.  God, you’re so royally fucked - and not in the way you’re wishing you were - but you’re too far tired and conflicted and just… sad to want to masturbate, no matter how fiercely Yoongi’s kiss may have made you ache.   So you ignore it, cocoon yourself in your duvet whilst Remi snores at your feet, and will yourself to fall asleep whilst silently reassuring yourself that tomorrow is another day.  

Come the next morning (which is mercifully hangover free), you ready yourself for work repeating just that.  Today has to be better - or at least it can't get much worse - and what happened with Yoongi was just… a blip.  Carelessness on your part.  And knowing Yoongi as you now do, you’re sure he’ll be far too much of a gentleman to mention it anyway.  

That’s if he doesn’t ghost you entirely, of course, which is a legitimate possibility.  

Luckily, your day does turn out a whole lot better than the one that came before; a small mercy, given how worked up you've been worrying about where to expect to find Remi once you get home.  Whether it be in your apartment or Yoongi's, you're unsure which option would be preferable.   If she's waiting at Yoongi's you'll have no choice but to go over there and face the consequences of last night's actions - a thought you by no means relish - but if she's at yours… well, you suppose that might just be even worse.    

You’re not too proud to admit that Yoongi's help with Remi has been invaluable over the past weeks, and if you're being honest, his friendship has too.  You can't imagine going back to the way it was before: barely seeing one another, exchanging nothing but awkward smiles in the hallway.  If he were to walk out of your life now you would really, really miss him - to say the least.  And that's… kind of terrifying.  

At heart, though, you’re a positive person, and you want to believe that things will just carry on the way they have before.  And maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but your hope is what has you stopping by the same old corner store on the way home and picking up a bottle of wine from a brand you know Yoongi likes, just as you’ve done so many times before.  And maybe it might be considered hedging your bets, but after the grocery store you head across the street to one of the local takeout places, too.  You know Yoongi’s all about meat, meat and more meat when it comes to food, so it’s not hard for you to figure out what to order; lamb skewers, tempura shrimp, spicy pork belly.  Some of it you don’t even like yourself, so you hope to god Remi’s waiting at Yoongi’s and not at yours otherwise there’s a hell of a lot of food about to go to waste.

You order so much, in fact, that your arms are aching by the time you get home - though that does nothing to distract you from the way your heart starts to gallop when it comes time to put your keys in the lock and open up your front door.   You hold your breath as it swings open, eyes closing for a second as you pray not to hear the click-clack of Remi’s claws on the floor, and when nothing comes you sigh with relief, never so glad to be greeted by an empty home.  

“Thank the lord,” you murmur as you place everything down on the kitchen table, figuring you may as well use this chance to quickly get changed and freshen up before heading next door.  Normally you’d just go round in your work clothes, and truthfully there’s nothing actually wrong with what you’re already wearing, but you appreciate just a little bit of extra time to mentally prepare.

Not that it helps, of course.   Whether in a skirt or jeans, you’re crapping your pants just as much as you knock on his door but you plaster a smile on your face nonetheless, holding aloft your wine and takeout bags as the door starts to open.  

“Hi,” you beam as Yoongi appears, “I brought goodies!”  He looks mildly taken aback by the sight of you and how bubbly you sound - even more so when you stride forward to enter without him yet having said a word.  “You’re not cooking yet,” you observe as you enter the kitchen and hear the front door shut behind you, Yoongi’s soft footfalls across the floor following shortly after, “Good.”  

You turn on the spot, grinning inanely as you try not to make it too obvious that you’re checking him out.  Must he really look so effortlessly stylish all the time?   He even has that whole ‘just got out of bed’ ruffled hair thing going on, and god, you hate him for how badly it makes you want to run your fingers through it to see if it’s as soft as it looks.  

“Where’s Rem?” you ask before your thoughts run too far amok, tearing your eyes away from him in favour of peering over his shoulder towards the living room.  

“Think they’re in my room,” he explains, fingers fiddling with the arm of the glasses he’s wearing and then straying into his hair to scratch at his scalp.  He must’ve been in his studio prior to your arrival - it’s the only time you really ever see him wearing his glasses.  “She’s been acting kinda weird today.”  

Frowning, you follow after him as he leads you down the hallway towards his bedroom.  You try not to focus on the fact that this will have been the first time you’ve seen it, or mourn that now that you are it’s in less-than-sexy circumstances.  

“What do you mean ‘weird’?” 

“Just… restless, I guess.  She didn’t wanna walk but I had to stop her scratching up the carpet ‘cus she keeps wanting to dig.”  He pushes open the door and immediately you gasp, freezing in the doorway.  Yoongi sighs heavily, surveying the damage before him.  “And ruin my bedding, apparently.”  

To be fair, it's not really that bad - and you're not just saying that because Remi's your dog and you're a wee bit overprotective, either.  Yes, there's one pillow that's been pulled off the bed and had its stuffing ripped out, but aside from that all that's really moved is his sheets, and whilst they've been pulled into a heap the floor there doesn't appear to be any other damage or… bodily fluids amidst them.  

"Oh Rem, what've you been up to?" you coo, kneeling down beside the heap of blankets that the two dogs are curled up amongst.  Holly comes alive at the sound of your voice, instantly perking up, and within seconds he's on his feet and visiting you and Yoongi in turn for a scratch behind the ears.  Remi, however, is somewhat lazier in her response.  She lifts her head slowly, emitting a pathetic little sound as she gazes up at you, pointed ears pressed back against the top of her head.  

"What's wrong girl?" Concerned, you're cautious in the way you put your hands on her, but you're relieved to find she's just as eager to receive affection as ever.  It's only when you run your hand across her belly that she seems to object, her small body tensing.  

"She's been in here for a couple hours," Yoongi informs you as he comes to kneel beside you on the carpet. "I tried to feed her dinner but she wasn't interested - thought it might've been something to do with her throwing up earlier on." 

"You think we should call the vet?" Yoongi shakes his head as Holly comes to reclaim his spot next to his lady friend.  Snuggling in close, he gives her an affectionate lick.  

"I thought about it," he admits, giving Remi's head a gentle pat, "But I don't think she's sick.  I think she's in labour." 

"Really?" Now that you think about it, the time frame does seem about right.  You just hadn't expected it to happen so soon… 

"Called my brother and he seems to think so." Looking up from Remi your gaze meets Yoongi's, and you figure it must show on your face how overwhelmed you're feeling because the smile that he gives you is a kind one.  

"So, what do we do?" you ask, sinking back from your knees and onto your bottom instead, crossing your legs.  Yoongi copies you, and for a second your eyes dart to the expanse of skin that's revealed to you through the rip in his jeans, right across the thigh.  

"Not much, apparently.  Not unless something goes wrong and Remi needs a hand."  You feel anxiety twist your expression and Yoongi brow furrows in sympathy, his fingers drumming against his knees.  "We've just gotta sit and wait." You chuckle mirthlessly, rolling your eyes.  

"Never really been the patient type." Yoongi smiles, rising to his feet and placing his hand on your shoulder as he goes, giving it a squeeze that makes your stomach go topsy-turvy.  

"I guess I better go get us some supplies to keep us going then, huh?" 

"That'd be good," you smile, blushing as he squeezes it once more before finally letting go.  You turn back to Remi as he leaves the room, worrying your bottom lip until you unexpectedly hear him call your name.  He lingers in the doorway, one hand on the frame.  

"Everything's gonna be fine," he assures you. "Trust me." And somehow, without question, you do.  

  It's a little odd, really, how effortlessly things have gone back to normal considering what went on between you last night.  Perhaps it's the pressure of the unfamiliar situation you've been thrust into that's redirected your attention elsewhere and thereby alleviated the tension. Or maybe it was just never as big of a deal as you'd made it out to be in your head.  Either way, you're grateful.  

That's not to say there's no tension at all, mind, but rather than making things feel uncomfortable it's more like… like there's a charge between you.  A spark.  You can feel it all the while you're sat eating dinner together cross-legged on his bedroom floor, lips tingling from how spicy (albeit delicious) the food is.  Coy smiles and stolen glances are made amongst idle chit-chat, distracting you from the waves of worry that rise and then recede with each little sound that Remi makes which turn out to be nothing.  

You've no idea how long labour usually tends to last for dogs, but you can only hope that if or when you ever decide to have children, that you handle it just as quietly and calmly as Remi.  You hope whoever you’re with is attentive as Holly, too, and you know that’s an odd thing to think but you can’t help but admire the way he is with her; laying patiently just a few feet away, his attention unwavering.  

Technically you know it isn’t the norm for the ‘daddy dog’ to be around while his bitch is giving birth (or at least so Yoongi had said), just in case his presence made Remi nervous or agitated, but these pair seem to be a bit an anomaly in that respect.  When Yoongi had tried to extract Holly from the room prior to eating dinner, Remi had gotten more restless than ever and so you’d been forced to let him back in despite all the guidance advising the contrary.  You’ll just have to keep an extra close eye on him when the puppies actually arrive, you suppose, though you know you can rely on Yoongi to keep him in line.  

And to be fair, it seems as though you’re able to rely on Yoongi an awful lot in general these days.  Having been so preoccupied with your new job you’ve done shamefully little research as to what to expect and how to prepare for Remi to give birth, naively believing that you still had plenty of time to spare. 

Lucky for you, Yoongi seems to have everything handled; the ‘supplies’ he’d previously mentioned turning out to be a heap of freshly washed towels, shiny surgical scissors and some sort of sucker device - the likes you imagine to be used for clearing snotty babies noses.  You eye it nervously as you finish your last mouthful of shrimp, silently hoping you won’t need anything other than the towels and a little bit of luck.  

“Thanks for dinner.”  You drag your eyes away from the scissors, Yoongi’s voice having interrupted your thoughts.  

“No worries,” you reply, smiling gratefully as Yoongi takes your empty plate from your hands to stack it on top of his own.  He puts them aside for a moment as he dutifully tidies everything away, putting the empty food cartons back into the plastic bag from whence they came.  “About time I returned the favour.”  Yoongi smiles wryly, no doubt too polite to point out that buying takeout and preparing a home-cooked meal isn’t quite the same thing.  

“To be honest,” he says, using his preoccupation as a good excuse to avoid your gaze, “I wasn’t sure whether you were even going to come over tonight.”  

Well, there goes the hope that you’d get through the evening without last night’s faux pas being mentioned.  

“Well, it’s not like I could just leave Remi here…” you mumble, glancing away as Yoongi sits back down beside you having finished clearing up.  You don’t want him to think that that’s the only reason you came but you’re not sure what else to say, fidgeting nervously with the hem of your sleeves.  

There’s a moment of silence - a pause long enough that it prompts you to look up, and when you do you see that Yoongi looks just as nervous as you feel, picking at his cuticles.  

“I…” He hesitates, huffing as though he’s almost frustrated with himself before forcing himself to look at you.  His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat. “I’m glad you did, though.  I wanted a chance to say I’m sorry for last night, for-” 

“Don’t,” you interrupt, surprising yourself.  His eyes widen behind his glasses, his mouth hanging open having been caught off guard, and god damn it, he looks adorable.  “We’re friends, right?  I don’t want us to have to keep apologising to each other all the time for every little thing.”  Yoongi nods, shutting his mouth. 

Was that… disappointment you saw in his eyes when you referred to him as your friend?  Yoongi smiles weakly but it looks forced - unnatural - and it disappears too fast for it to have been real.  In its wake a frown appears, one that deepens as his attention returns to Remi, and it makes you ache in your chest to see it.  Since you’ve become closer, you’ve gotten so used to seeing his smile and hearing him laugh that this just feels wrong.  

All of this - you hiding the way you feel, pretending like last night’s kiss wasn’t the best thing to happen to you in… in forever;  acting like Yoongi isn’t the best thing to happen to you in forever - it’s all wrong.  You should tell him what he means to you.  You need to.  

“Yoongi,” you say gently, calling back his attention, and when he looks at you your stomach churns so fiercely with nerves you fear you might lose your dinner.  You swallow, trying to get a hold of yourself, and bravely reach out to snatch his hand up from where it rested on his knee, threading your fingers between his.  He looks down dumbly at your conjoined hands, eyes even wider than they were before.  “I… I didn’t mind it.  When you kissed me.”  You feel your cheeks burning with heat but force yourself to continue, reassured that Yoongi hasn’t immediately pulled his hand away.  “Or when I kissed you. However it happened.”  You titter a nervous laugh, acutely aware of how clammy your palms are, and you’re glad to see that Yoongi looks just as affected by your confession as you are; every inch of his skin flushed a pretty blush pink under his normal skin tone.  “There was never anything to apologise for.”  

You flash him a nervous smile once you’ve finally done talking, giving his hand a squeeze of encouragement in hopes that he won’t leave you hanging too long before voicing some sort of reply.  A confession of undying love is preferable, obviously, but short of that just knowing he’s not totally repulsed would be enough. 

You can’t say you expect the sudden laugh he lets out - nor know what to make of it - and you’re just about to start freaking out and pull your hand away when Yoongi shifts closer to you and places his other hand over the two of yours.  The rubbing of his thumb back and forth across your skin helps to calm you, and he’s no longer laughing as he looks into your eyes, taking a breath.  He quietly calls your name, leaning closer.  

And then suddenly, Remi whines, and the two of you instantly break apart.  

“You ok Rem?” Quickly, you rise to your knees and shuffle towards her, frowning with concern.  You don’t mean to panic, but this is the first sound of obvious distress you’ve heard from her and you can’t stand the thought of your sweet girl being in pain.  

She looks up at you from where she’s nestled amongst Yoongi’s covers, panting hard, and you have to force yourself not to reach out to give her the fussing that you’re longing to.  Beside you, Yoongi watches her closely; observes the way she stops panting just for a second or two and seems to stiffen slightly before beginning to pant all over again. 

“Is she ok?” you ask, though you’re not sure why you’re presuming that Yoongi will know any more about what’s going on than you do.  

Tentatively, Yoong reaches out and lays both hands on Remi’s stomach, waiting for the next pause in her panting.  His eyes narrow, fingers twitching atop her fur.  

“Her tummy feels hard,” he says, “I think she’s starting to push.”  

“Shit,” you whisper under your breath, blushing when Yoongi chuckles in response.  He removes his hands from her, placing them back on his lap just in time for Remi to decide she wants to move, and she rises from where’s lain in the duvet all this time and begins to circle and paw at the covers, panting ceaselessly.  

“You can do it, girl.”  Following Yoongi’s lead, you reach out and gently stroke her back in reassurance, very nearly bursting into tears when Remi chases after your hand when you pull it back, nuzzling into your palm.  “We’ve got this.”  

  The next two hours pass by in something of a blur.  You all maintain a careful distance (Holly included), giving affection when it seems like she's in need of it and holding back whenever she seems agitated or restless.  She must get up and down to rearrange the sheets underneath her at least a hundred times before the first puppy is born, and you watch on with a mixture of horror and wonderment as it slowly emerges from inside her, trying your best not to cry at the sudden squeal she releases as her baby starts to crown, bottom first.  

You won't lie, it's probably one of the most disgusting sights you've ever seen, and yet you can't help but feel overcome with emotion as you watch this puppy arrive into the world, still cocooned in its amniotic sac until Remi instinctively begins to lick it clean.  She brings it to life with firm laps of her tongue, not stopping till its little body starts to wriggle and it releases the tiniest of squeaks.  Frankly, it's a good job the puppy is so cute, as it gives you something to focus on as Remi decides to chow down on the placenta, thereby separating it from her offspring.  

By the time the second puppy is born the first has already started to feed, it's head almost completely hidden by Remi's fur as it latches on.  That birth is just as straightforward, too, though Yoongi does have to shorten its umbilical cord slightly when Remi leaves it dangling just a little too long.  You're in awe of how confident and competent he seems as he does it, not a hint of hesitation evident on his face from the moment he realises what's needed to the moment it's done.  

Ah, if only you could ever be so cool. 

It’s only as the third and final puppy is being born that you start to encounter some trouble.  You almost start to believe the scan had been wrong and you were only ever expecting two puppies, figuring that Remi must be done having not pushed in almost an hour and a half.  But then all of a sudden she’s restless again and after a few minutes more another puppy begins to emerge.  The sac of waters around this one looks different - so green and dark that you almost can’t make out what’s inside at all.  

“Yoongi.”  You say his name out of sheer nervousness, already knowing he’s right there beside you seeing the same very thing.  Just like before, the puppy slides out in the amniotic sac onto the towel placed underneath Remi’s back end, but this time she doesn’t seem to pay nearly so much attention to it as she did the others - sparing it just enough licks to break the sac and then turning away, closing her eyes.  

All of Remi’s puppies so far have been just as white in colour as Remi herself, and so would this puppy be if its fur weren’t stained an unpleasant shade of green.  By Remi’s hind legs it lies limply on the towel; unmoving, unbreathing.  

“Yoongi,” you choke out, your eyes spilling over with tears, “Yoongi, it’s not breathing.  Yoongi, it-” Stifling a sob, you slap your hands over your mouth as Yoongi springs into action next to you.

Brow furrowed in concentration, he snatches up the scissors and deftly separates the puppy from its placenta just like he did for the one that came before.  He scoops it up in both hands and tilts its head down in order to help any fluids that might remain to drain out, murmuring urgently under his breath.  

“Pass me the sucker,” he suddenly demands, outstretching his hand, and you rush to obey, your own hands shaking as you place it in his palm and watch on as he precedes to suction each of the puppy’s tiny nostrils and mouth.  You pray that that will do the job.  To see some sort of response, the tiniest wiggle or smallest of sounds.  Anything!  But nothing happens - nothing at all - and you can tell even Yoongi’s starting to get desperate.  

“C’mon little guy,” he mumbles, wrapping the puppy in the towel and starting to vigorously rub its back, its stomach, its head - up and down all over, over and over again.  “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon.”  Even Yoongi’s eyes are looking glassy now, the tip of his nose turning red as he holds back the tears that you’ve long since succumbed to.  

And then, just as your face falls into your hands and a sob shakes your shoulders, you hear the tiniest, most fragile of sounds.   A squeak followed by a sharp inhale of breath, and when you sharply look up you see that the tiniest puppy of the litter so far has finally begun to squirm, its mouth opening up wide to display the tiny pink tongue within.  

“Oh my god!”  You’re half laughing half crying as Yoongi stares down at the new life down within his hands, his eyes wide with wonderment.  There are tears trickling down his cheeks but he’s smiling more brightly than you’ve ever seen before, and he’s so heart-breakingly gentle as he lowers the puppy back down to Remi’s level and presents him to her.  

“You did so good, girl,” he praises, voice thick with emotion as Remi begins to lick the puppy with renewed enthusiasm.  She only stops once Yoongi slowly moves him away to nestle him in between his siblings, encouraging him to feed with softly whispered words of encouragement, and he waits until the puppy is eagerly suckling to finally let go and back off, exhaling a sigh of relief.  

"Well, that was-" Yoongi doesn't get the chance to finish what he's saying, abruptly silenced apart from the one lone 'oomph' he grunts out as your bodies collide, dropping the towel with which he'd just been wiping his hands.  

"You-" you mumble against his lips between each frantic, urgent kiss. "You - are - amazing." He's blindsided and you can't blame him; unresponsive and unyielding.  But Yoongi soon gets with the program, his arms looping around your waist to pull you flush against his chest.  

His face is wet when you take it in your hands - just like yours - but those tears are long forgotten as the two of you quickly become lost in one another.  It feels so exhilarating to have Yoongi kiss you back so enthusiastically; makes you believe that maybe he's been thinking about this just as much as you.  To hear him sigh your name has you melting against him, your whole body aflame with molten fire, and when you gently bite his lip it delights you even more to hear the way his breath hitches. 

"You really weren't kidding, were you?" Yoongi asks as he attempts to catch his breath, your attention now focused on trailing kisses along the angle of his jaw. 

"About what?" you murmur in reply, grinning against his skin as his hands grab at your clothes when you softly nip at his earlobe.  

"About not minding about the kiss."

"Oh no, not at all," you admit, tone playful, and you're just about to begin tracing kisses down his neck when one of Yoongi's hands finds your chin and tilts your head up, bringing your gaze back to his. His lips are curved in a gentle smile as he brushes them against yours, chuckling when you attempt to chase after them as he pulls away. 

"Good to know." His eyes follow the movement of his thumb as he drags it across your bottom lip, moistening his own with a flick of his tongue.  His touch lingers at the corner of your mouth for just a second longer, and in that moment you can feel your heart racing at the thought of what he might do next.  "As much as I'd like to explore this further-" 

Beside you, you hear the sound of Remi's puppies softly squeaking, and when you look down to where Remi's lay, you see that Holly has used your momentary distraction as an opportunity to start sneaking over, sniffing at the air.  You look back to Yoongi and are met with a regretful smile as he takes his hands off of you in favour of straightening the glasses that had been knocked askew by your passion.  

"Right," you sigh, looking around at all of the surrounding mess, "We're grandparents now, huh?  Have to be responsible.  Mature."  ie. not go carrying on like a pair of horny teenagers while there are still pieces of placenta strewn about the place.

Yoongi looks up at you from where he's already knelt down gathering up some of the dirty towels.  He smirks in a way you've never seen from him before - a way that makes your insides clench with excitement.  

"For now, sure.”

  You're infinitely grateful that Yoongi doesn't put you in charge of any of the messy stuff when it comes to clearing up.  All he tasks you with is watching over the puppies and keeping a very curious Holly at bay from his new offspring whilst Remi recovers and he deals with the carnage that's been left behind.  It's not a difficult job by any means. Holly is more than happy to be waylaid by tickles under the chin and tummy rubs, and you're thankful for that given how preoccupied you are with the images of what’s just happened as they replay over and over in your head.  

You still can't believe that you kissed him.  That you kissed Yoongi and he kissed you back - kissed you back and, unless you're horribly mistaken, wanted more .   And what did he mean 'for now'?  Does he want to pick up where you left off tonight?  Tomorrow?  Maybe he's just saying that to give himself an out in the future?  Just in case he changes his mind… 

No, no, he wouldn't do that.  No one could kiss like that if they weren't really into it, and god , what a kiss.  It may have been a while, but you can't even remember the last time locking lips had you feeling so hot and heavy.  Have you ever had a kiss quite like that before?  You’re sure you’d remember it if you had.  

“How’re they doing?”  You automatically smile at the sound of Yoongi’s voice, hoping that the flush of your cheeks won’t give away the explicit nature of the daydreaming he’s just interrupted.  Stood in the doorway, you notice he’s no longer wearing his glasses, though the evidence of them remains in the pink indentations on either side of his nose.  Now that his glasses are gone the dark circles under his eyes are more evident, and you feel your brow creasing with worry as he enters the room and bends down next to you, stifling a yawn as he gives Holly a little love behind the ears.  

Whilst not being the most physically strenuous of evenings, tonight has been emotionally demanding for you both, and it’s only now as you realise that that you come to appreciate how utterly drained you feel.  You can only assume Yoongi feels similarly, given by the slightly glazed look in his eyes as he checks in on the puppies, one by one.  

“They’re doing pretty good, I think.”  Or at least, you think they are.  One by one the puppies had stopped nursing and fallen asleep next to one another, each with a full round belly.  That can only be a good thing, right?  “Remi’s pooped.”  She hasn’t moved since giving birth, as fast asleep as the puppies laid at her side.  

“She’s earned her rest,” Yoongi admires fondly, giving her a very brief pad on the head so as not to wake her.  You ‘mm’ your agreement, swallowing back the emotion that rises once more in your chest.  You’re so proud it almost makes you ache.  “I was thinking,” he continues, turning his attention to you, “Seems a shame to move her.  You want to sleep here tonight so you can still keep an eye?”  

You feel your lips part at his question, your mind automatically falling straight into the gutter.  So he does mean to continue things tonight, then…  

Seeing your expression, Yoongi grins wolfishly as he stands, letting out a chuckle.   

“The couch pulls out into a futon, so you can take the bed, if you do want to stay.  

Oh.  So, maybe not then… 

You desperately try not to let the disappointment show in your face but you figure it must at least a little seeing as Yoongi begins to laugh again, eyes full of mirth.  He extends his hand to you to help you stand and you marvel once more at how long his fingers are as they thread between yours; how delicate yet so strong.  The last thing you expect is to be pulled into his arms again so soon and so suddenly, near losing your balance as Yoongi draws you near.

“You’re cute when you pout,” he teases, taking your bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger and giving it a gentle pinch.  The smirk he’s wearing is as infuriating as it is sexy and you’re powerless to resist as Yoongi leans in to brush his lips ever so sweetly against yours, ever so fleeting.  

He’s enjoying this too much, damn it.  You should’ve never given yourself away!  Can he feel how hard your heart is beating, you wonder?  Can he feel how much you want him from how needily you grab at his belt loops?

“Let’s not rush anything,” he mumbles as you insist on kissing him once more, leaning forward onto your tippy-toes.  Sighing, you eventually pull away, eyes opening to see Yoongi looking down at you with thinly veiled amusement.  His smile is fond rather than teasing, though, so you let it slide.  He’s right, anyway, you suppose.  The two of you have only just revealed your mutual affection for one another; no need to go jumping into bed straight away.  

Ugh, being mature sucks.  

Reluctantly, you part ways for the time being and head back to your own apartment to ready yourself for bed.  You fill the small wash bag you usually take on vacation with all the toiletries you might need before embarking on the arduous task of deciding what to change into.  Do you go for ultimate comfort and opt for a baggy t-shirt and sweats, or do you dress to impress and slip on a silky camisole?  

It takes you a shameful amount of time to decide but in the end you settle on a compromise; one of your cuter, cotton t-shirts and a pair of shorts of a slightly more modest length.  After all, Yoongi’s made it perfectly clear that getting laid isn’t on the cards tonight.  No point in making too much of an effort - he might start to think you’re not coming back if you take the time to go shave your legs.  You cast them a cursory glance as you slip on your sliders ready to go back next door; they’re not obviously fuzzy from a distance, at least.  

When you get back to Yoongi’s apartment, he’s nowhere to be seen.  You figure he must be in the spare bedroom changing (and boy are you envious he has one of those) because he’s not in his own, and wherever he is he must’ve taken Holly with him as Remi and her puppies continue to sleep just as soundly as when you left.  He’s clearly been busy, though; there are fresh sheets on the bed, the corner of the duvet pulled back as though inviting you in.  Considerate as always.  

You figure you may as well carry on getting ready for bed in Yoongi’s absence, and with a yawn and a rub of your eyes, you dig out your toothbrush and head toward the bathroom, sliders slapping against the floor.  

“Oh!”  You almost drop your brush when you push open the bathroom door and find Yoongi inside, Holly sitting obediently at his feet.  You thank God he’s merely brushing his teeth and not in the shower - or worse, on the toilet - though you still stutter apologies and start to leave until Yoongi waves a hand to beckon you in, unbothered.  He smiles at you in the mirror, lips lined with foam, and you shyly smile in return as he hands you the very same toothpaste.  

Together, the two of you stand and brush your teeth; the room silent other than the rustling of bristles against enamel.  Your eyes keep meeting in the mirror and oh, how you wish you were able to ignore the way your face begins to blush and how Yoongi’s smile just grows and grows the more embarrassed you get.  It’s just so domestic, the two of you, stood side by side like this.  Like you’re husband and wife just going about your normal nightly routine; you’ll spit and rinse and then dab your mouths with matching ‘his’ and ‘hers’ towels.  

Hey, a girl can dream, right?  

“Thanks for getting the bed all sorted,” you say once you’re all done and Yoongi follows you out into the hallway with a nod and a ‘no problem’.  

“Just come wake me up if you need anything, alright?”  This time it’s your turn to nod, and you’re about to head back to Yoongi’s room when he suddenly reaches out and brushes his thumb against your cheek, smiling softly.  It grows when you lean into his touch, sighing, and you see his chest rise and fall with a heavy inhale before he reluctantly pulls away.  His hand falls back to his side and you have to resist the urge to reach out and take it in your own.

“Goodnight, Yoongi,” you bid him, his name heavy on your tongue.  

“Goodnight,” he replies, and just the timbre of Yoongi’s voice alone is enough to make your stomach flip with excitement.  It makes it hard to drag yourself away, and even harder to force yourself to relax once you finally slip between Yoongi’s sheets, knowing that he’s just down the hall.  It doesn’t help that they smell just like him, too, despite being clean, and maybe it makes you a bit of a creeper but you won’t deny that you take great pleasure in snuggling your face into Yoongi’s pillow, wishing you lying on his chest instead.   

  You don’t know exactly how long it takes you to fall asleep, nor how long you’re asleep before the sound of Yoongi’s voice awakens you.  Bleary-eyed, you look towards the door and see a slip of light shining beneath from the light in the hallway, disturbed by the movement of shadow.  

“Sorry, Hol. you can’t go in there.” you hear Yoongi whispering on the other side of the door.  “The ladies need their rest.”  Listening to them, you can’t help but internally ‘aww’.  Apparently, Holly must miss Remi as much as she does when they’re parted, and oh how you wish she could actually understand a word you say so you could prod her awake and tell her so.  “You don’t think I wish I was in there as well?”  

Wide-eyed, you stare out into the darkness on hearing what Yoongi had said, hands clasped atop your chest.  Is that true?  Does he really want to be in here with you, sharing this bed?  You can’t imagine any reason for it to be a lie; you know all your whispered confessions to Remi are always true enough.   

What should you do?  Would he be embarrassed if he knew you’d heard?  Should you - 

“C’mon, let’s go,” you hear him say, the shadows beneath the door disappearing, and it’s that sudden loss that forces you into the split decision you make that has you leaping up out of bed and flinging open Yoongi’s door before he can get too far away.  

“You can sleep in here, if you want,” you declare, ever so slightly out of breath.  You wish you’d spared a thought as to whether your hair might be a mess but fuck it, Yoongi’s already turned around and seen you now.  “If it’s easier.”  A hesitant smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he looks you up and down but there’s no such uncertainty from Holly; he happily runs right by you the moment there’s an opening, tail wagging up a storm.  

“You sure?” he checks, taking a step forward and oh jesus, of course you’re sure when he’s stood there looking - sounding - like he does; voice rough with sleep, hair tousled and half-dressed.  You can only be grateful that he doesn’t sleep topless or else you might just combust on the spot, so deliciously tight are the boxers he’s wearing.  

“He’s just gonna keep you up all night otherwise.”  You try to sound casual, you really do, but the nervous little giggle that escapes you as Yoongi enters your personal space gives you away.  He grins as he passes you in the doorway to head towards the bed, and just before you shut the door to plunge you both back into darkness you see him reach out and pull back the covers from the right-hand side of the bed.  

“You sleep on the left,” he says as he climbs in, sheets rustling, “Good.”  He must sleep on the right then, you’re guessing, and it makes you more happy than it should do to learn this, smiling to yourself in the dark.  You can hear the puppies snuffling around as you tentatively make your way over to the bed, but you're sure Remi will alert you if there's a problem.   Right now, you're too busy mustering up the courage to climb back into bed next to a man you've been fantasising about for so long.  

“Don't stand there getting cold.”  After such a long night, Yoongi’s probably too eager for sleep to have much patience for you dithering around at the bedside.  Now that your eyes have started to adjust to the lack of light, you can just about make out his face turned towards you, watching as you finally climb into bed, and it does nothing to lessen the nervous fluttering of your heart. 

You’re so tense; uncertain of how to lie or how close you ought to get.  You end up lying flat on your back for lack of a better idea, trying not to fidget as you stare up at the ceiling, and even though you’re not touching, you’re acutely aware of Yoongi’s body just a few inches away.  His breaths are slow and steady - nothing like your subtle, shallow inhales - and you lie there wishing that you had any hope of remaining as cool and calm as he always seems to be.

Eventually, though, your panic begins to wane, enough that you trust yourself to speak without giving yourself away.  

“Night Yoongi,” you whisper, not sure if he’s even still awake.  You hear a soft sigh and the rustling of sheets from what you presume must be him turning over to make himself more comfortable.  Soothed by his lack of reply, you, too, roll over in hopes of finally falling back to sleep, but when you’re met by the sight of Yoongi’s dark eyes looking back at you, you’re nothing but wide awake.  

“Hi,” he murmurs quietly, and even in the dark you can make out the subtle curve of his mouth as he smiles.  Your heart thuds in your chest, your throat suddenly dry, and even though you open your mouth to reply no sound has the chance to come out because faster than you can realise what’s happening, Yoongi’s closed the space between you and stolen your voice with a kiss.  

This isn’t a kiss like the last one you shared.  He was holding back last time - careful, gentle kisses that never lingered, never deepened - but this time is different.  This time, Yoongi kisses like he means to consume you, with a hunger so fierce that it sparks a yearning just as voracious within you.  It burns through you as Yoongi leans over your body, the weight of his own forcing you to roll onto your back as his fingers weave their way into your hair.  

Willingly, you submit to him in each way in which he asks, one by one; when he coaxes his way into your mouth with the press of his tongue, when you hook your leg over his hip when the hand that was in your hair slides down onto your ass, pulling your pelvis towards him.  

“Wha-” You gasp as he rocks his hips against you, only breaking your kiss out of the necessity to breathe, and the moment you do Yoongi simply finds another target for his lips, trailing them along the length of your jaw.  “What happened to- to not rushing anything?” 

“Fuck what I said,” he mumbles in reply, voice laden with desire.  Yoongi doesn’t curse very often but there’s something so hot about him doing it now between teasing your throat with his teeth and rubbing himself up against you.  “I’ve wanted you for months.”  

Well, that makes two of you then.  And he’s not lying, either; you can feel him growing steadily harder against your leg each time your bodies move, seeking out one another’s body heat.  

“Can I take these off?”  You feel his fingers lingering at the waistband of your shorts and eagerly you nod, pulling down one side as he handles the other till you’re able to kick them off somewhere beneath the covers.  

“Please.”  Rolling onto your back, you take Yoongi with you, seeking out his lips with your own.  While his hand reaches between your legs, you’re busy tugging at his t-shirt, baring his torso just in time for your fingernails to dig into his shoulders at the first touch of his fingers, gasping as he brushes the tips featherlight against you.  

“Baby,” he groans, and you preen at his use of the pet name, “You’re so wet.”  And you can feel that it’s true - can feel how sinfully his digits are able to slip and slide about your cunt, teasing their way between your lips.  

“Please Yoongi,” you plead, reaching between your bodies to grasp his wrist and tugging, tilting your pelvis up.  You’ve been dreaming about having his fingers inside you for so long that you’ve no shame in showing him just how much you want it.  You bite your bottom lip as he gazes down at you; watching, waiting to see your reaction as he presses one finger inside.  

“Haa!” you cry out, head tipping back into the pillow, and your eyes are too tightly pressed shut to see the way Yoongi smiles in satisfaction.  Craving more from you, one finger quickly becomes two, and you can’t help but grab at his shoulders for purchase as he so deftly stretches you open.  Each motion - each thrust and curl of Yoongi’s fingers - makes the most obscene of noises, so gratuitous is your want for him.  

Suddenly, Yoongi ceases your kissing, an urgent look in his eyes.

“Can I get a taste?”  His request has your pelvic muscles clenching around his fingers with excitement - a response you presume Yoongi rightly perceives as your consent, given the cocky smile that appears on his face.  

“Only if you’re as good as your tongue as you are with those fingers,” you tease, breathless.  You’re pleased by the way he chuckles - even more so by his reply.  

“Even better,” he promises, and though you mourn the loss of his fingers as they withdraw, you’re filled with too much anticipation to really care.  His eyes fixed on yours, Yoongi kisses his way down your body, making sure to spare time for each of your breasts along the way.  Through the material of your t-shirt he suckles and licks till the material has turned see-through, and only then does he hitch it up under your chin to reveal your chest and repeat the whole process again.  He lingers long enough to leave no doubt that he’s as talented with his tongue as he’s said, your nipples tingling long after he’s done drawing them out, stiffened into tight little peaks.  

Your hips are squirming by the time Yoong’s head is between your legs.  He holds them steady with firm hands as he kisses at your inner thighs, twice suckling hard enough for you to know he’ll have left a mark - evidence of his desire.  Your want to see him clearly is at odds with how comforting you find the dark, less self-conscious in knowing that even as Yoongi’s parts your lips with his thumb and forefinger, you’re not quite so brazenly exposed.  

“Tell me what you like,” Yoongi instructs as he makes himself comfortable on his stomach.  You mumble your agreement, heart hammering with a mixture of nerves and excitement because, in all honesty, this has never really been your favourite thing before.  You don’t want him to be disappointed if this doesn’t get you there, hoping he’ll realise that it’s more about the journey than the destination.  

He starts slow; long, luxurious laps up and down, ascending from your perineum and back again to gather your essence on his tongue.  He moans as he does it, and just hearing how much he seems to be enjoying the taste of you makes it feel all the better as he does it once more.  

“I like that,” you sigh, hips shifting to get more comfortable as you close your eyes and focus on the sensation of his tongue.  His hands are on your thighs as your own make their way down into his hair, and it’s just as soft as you imagine it to be - Yoongi near purring with pleasure into your heat every time you dig your fingers in whenever something feels particularly good.  

“Mm, o-ooh, I like that too.”  Your moans become more frequent as Yoongi focuses his attention on your clitoris, the tip of his tongue gradually gaining in speed now that Yoongi’s found his purpose.  For someone who has such a small mouth and such a dainty, kittenish tongue, you had no idea he could be so skilled with it - so deft as it wriggles beneath your clitoral hood in delicious figures of eight.  “Fuck, that feels good…”  

With each second longer that he continues, you can feel a heat gradually rising within you.  It starts right there between your legs, burning in your core, but soon you can feel the flush all the way up to your chest and your back is beginning to sweat, your mouth open so each breath is a pant - a gasping moan.  

In search of relief you tug off your t-shirt, but it does little to cool you down.  Not when Yoongi seems determined to have you falling apart on the end of his tongue, not giving you a moment's reprieve even when your hips grow restless, toes curling into the blankets.  

“Oh, oh, Yoongi,” you pant, one hand fisted in his hair whilst your other is grabbing at your own.  Your fingers wind in so tight that Yoongi responds in kind by sucking your on your clit so hard it makes you cry out, but the throb of pain it leaves behind on serves to push you even closer to the edge, begging for your release.  

“Please, please, please,” you babble, and your prayers are answered when Yoongi fills you with his fingers whilst simultaneously torturing you with his tongue.  With artful precision, his fingers crook and curl inside you to stimulate your g-spot, and though he’s gentle to start with, Yoongi is an expert at interpreting the sounds you make to know exactly how rough or fast you want it - not stopping till arousal is gushing from you with every stroke.  

“Mm, Yoongi, I’m gonna- oh, oh shit!”  Yoongi doesn’t stop as your orgasm takes a hold of you,  working you through it and savouring every drop of ecstasy he manages to coax out.   It’s only when your body begins to twitch from overstimulation that he finally begins to slow his ministrations, eventually emerging from between your legs when you weakly call his name, tapping on his shoulder.  

“Can I turn on the light?” he asks whilst you’re still basking in your post-orgasmic haze, too blissed out to do anything but nod your consent and watch as he reaches over you to turn on the lamp that rests on the bedside table over on your side of the bed.  “Wanna see you.”   

You have to throw your arm across your eyes when he first switches the light on.  When you eventually start to pull it back, Yoongi is still leaning over you, an adoring look in his eyes as he gazes down. 

“Would you look at that,” he says wistfully, cupping your cheek in his palm before leaning down to kiss you.  You can taste yourself on his tongue as it rolls into your mouth but you can’t bring yourself to care, not when he stops kissing you just to softly whisper ‘you’re gorgeous’ right against your lips.  

“You’re just saying that because you haven’t gotten yours yet,” you tease, trailing your fingertips down the length of his chest.  Yoongi chuckles, his laughter interrupted by a groan when you cup his balls through his boxer shorts and press your palm against his length.  

“Am not,” he insists, even as his hips rock forward into your hard and he nips at your bottom lip, groaning again as you squeeze.  

“Still, I think it’s about time for your turn, don't you?”  Whispered into his ear, your purr causes a shiver to run through Yoongi’s body before he abruptly pulls away and sits back on his heels.   Seeming to take a moment to collect himself, he runs a hand through his hair, and you can’t help but take advantage of this opportunity to take a good long look at your lover - to admire his slight waist and unblemished skin.  His face is flushed with desire and his eyes dark as they similarly trace your form, and you feel the very same blush fill your cheeks when your gaze is inevitably drawn to the ill-concealed erection within his boxers.  

Even hidden away beneath black material, its outline is unmistakable - as is the wet patch of material at its tip.  Yoongi catches you looking and you bite your lip at the smirk that curls his as he reaches inside his boxers and pulls his cock free, tugging them down just enough for you to make out the dark curls of pubic hair at its base.  

“There are condoms in the drawer,” he tells you with a pointed look at the bedside table, but frankly you’re too entranced with the sight of his vascular hand as it strokes the prettiest cock you’ve ever seen up and down to want to look away.  

You extend your arms towards him with a coy smile, opening them up in welcome, and Yoongi cocks a curious eyebrow as he shuffles out of his boxers before settling down on top of you, his cock laying heavy on your stomach.  

“I’m clean, and I’m on birth control.”  You hear Yoongi’s breath hitch with excitement as you place lingering kisses against his jaw, his cheek, his lips.  

“You sure?” he checks, and you can’t help but giggle because even as he’s double-checking Yoongi is already lifting his hips and reaching down to take his cock in hand, guiding it towards your cunt.  “We don’t need any more little accidents around here.”  Your insides flutter in anticipation as you feel him run the tip of it between your folds till it’s slick with your arousal, one nod away from slipping inside with blissful ease.  

“I’m sure,” you grin before kissing him again, and this time they don’t stop.  Yoongi swallows up the moan you make as he slides his cock inside you in one smooth motion, right to the hilt.  He smothers the gasp that comes thereafter when he pulls back and does it again, this time harder than the last.  With his tongue between your teeth, the two of you soon find a rhythm that has you both perspiring with effort - the sounds of your heavy breathing mingling with the slap of flesh on flesh and the slick sounds of your cunt.  

“Oh god, Yoongi!” you cry out when he alters the angle of his hips, pressing in harder, faster than before.  

“I know baby.”  He finds your hand where it lays upon the pillow and threads his fingers between yours, clasping it tight as he groans, forehead pressed to yours, and grits out, “I know, I know.”  

You pick your feet up off the bed and wrap them tightly around his waist, urging him deeper, and Yoongi doesn’t disappoint.  With renewed vigour, his hips surge forward, so deep that from this angle the tip of his cock not only kisses your cervix but grazes your g-spot on the way out as well, and even without any clitoral stimulation you can feel yourself getting close all over again.  

“Say my name,” Yoongi urges between kisses, squeezing your hand in his, “Let me hear you say it.”   You do as he asks - one time, two times, three times - and every time you do you swear your orgasm looms just that little bit closer.  

“Again, baby,” he chokes out, and you can tell he’s getting close too from the tension in his voice and how his cock has begun to twitch, his thrusts frantic now.  “Say it again for me.”   Yoongi throws his head back, lifting his chest from yours to drive his cock into you even deeper.  “Fuck, I love the way you say it.”  

There are tears forming in the corners of your eyes as his name tumbles from your lips, so close that it near steals the breath from your lungs.  Every one of your senses is filled with him - with the excruciating bliss that’s sizzling through your veins - and you can’t get enough.  Gripping tighter, pulling closer.  Kissing, touching, feeling.   It’s so much.  So much, and yet somehow you want more. 

“Please,” you choke out against the press of his lips, and you don’t even know what you’re begging for with both your hands held in his, gripping them tight atop the pillow.  You never want this to stop - never want it to end - and yet you’re both rapidly reaching the climax, tumbling into oblivion together.  

You try to hold back, you really do, but when Yoongi groans your name, pressing in deep, you’ve not a shred of willpower left.  You want to give in. 

“I’m close,” he tells you, the words gritted out through his teeth, “Feel so good around me, baby.” He nips at your jawline - nuzzles so sweetly into the crook of your neck and smatters it with kisses.  “Gonna cum with me?  So pretty when you cum.” 

“Yes,” you gasp, and you’re so close, so very, very close. “Cum in me, Yoongi, please - please .”  

With the sounds of your pleading, Yoongi, too, loses all semblance of self-control.  Driving his hips forward into you, he groans at the gradual tightening of your insides, and as his cock hardens even further, twitching in anticipation, you finally reach your end.  It’s so intense you aren’t even able to speak through your climax - unable to vocalise how incredible it feels except for the raggedly drawn breaths you take once it finally begins to fade.  

You’re disappointed to realise that Yoongi has already cum by the time you’ve returned to your senses, though from how hard he’s breathing you figure he must not have been too far behind.  His face is flushed with heat, chest perspiring, and you can feel the warmth he’s filled you with trickling out from where his pelvis sits flush with yours.   

He’s still holding your hands, you realise, and when Yoongi leans down to sweetly kiss you as he squeezes them in his own, you feel yourself blush even more fiercely than before, filled with girlish glee.  Ridiculous, really, given all that you’ve just done.  

“That was amazing,” you whisper against his lips, and his smile is just as coy as yours as he pulls away to look down into your eyes.  He doesn’t say anything but his tender expression tells you all you need to know, as does the way he can’t help but kiss you over and over again before he finally withdraws.  

“One second,” he tells you as he swings his legs out of bed and you roll onto your side to watch him go, laughing as he’s forced to shoo Holly out of the way from where’s sat waiting for attention, chin resting on the edge of the mattress. 

“I hope he hasn’t been sitting there the whole time!”  You watch fondly as Yoongi shimmies his boxers back on with a hop and a wiggle.  Gosh, he really does have the cutest little butt… “We’ll have scarred him for life.” 

“His own fault,” Yoongi dismisses, unconcerned. “I’ll just go grab some tissue.”  He leaves the room for a moment or two, and in that time you have to try very hard to resist the urge to shimmy a little dance atop his mattress - the threat of accidentally making a mess on his newly changed bedsheets looming in your mind.  At the foot of the bed, you can hear the puppies snuffling around, probably looking for their next feed, and you have to stop yourself from crawling to the other end of the bed to go look at them, too.  

As it happens, Yoongi checks on them when he gets back in your stead.  He passes you the tissues and then pre-occupies himself with Remi and the puppies whilst you clean yourself up, waiting until you climb back under the covers to finally rejoin you.  He sighs in contentment as he gets comfortable, gazing up at the ceiling with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and all you can do is stare at him in wonderment as you lay on your side, hardly daring to believe that the last half an hour or so was even real.  

“I really like you,” you whisper after a minute or two has passed, still unable to wipe the goofy love-sick grin you’re wearing off of your face.  Yoongi turns his head to the side to look at you, a cocky gleam in his eyes as he takes in your expression.  

“Yeah?” he asks, eyebrow lifting.  Effortlessly cool, he extends his left arm out across the pillow to invite you to curl against his side.  You do so immediately, kissing the spot on which you then lay your head, snuggling close.  You feel his lips press against the top of your head in turn, and through his chest you hear his heart begin to gallop as he squeezes you tightly in his arms, curling them around you.  “I think I really kind of like you too.”  

****

You never intended to keep them all.  

One, maybe.  You and Yoongi had talked about it; how it’d be a shame to sell them all and not get to see how the pups would eventually turn out.  But the more time that went on - the longer the two of you spent with them and got to know and love all their little personalities - the more you couldn’t bear the idea of parting with even a single one.  

And maybe you would’ve come around to the idea of them leaving if Yoongi hadn’t been just as smitten with them as you were.  You were bad influences on each other, sending each other picture updates whenever either of you were out of the apartment ( your apartment, with both your names on the lease now, not just Yoongi’s).  As if you could’ve really brought yourself to use any of those adorable photos to place an ad that would eventually take them away from you.  You should’ve known from the moment they first opened up those beady little eyes and gazed into yours that you were done for.  

Though five dogs is undeniably a handful, you can’t bring yourself to regret the decision.   Not even now, as you hold a double lead in one hand and Yoongi holds a triple in the other, somehow still managing to keep yours conjoined as your pack pulls you along.  God help you should the whole lot of them ever spot a squirrel and decide to run, or make a mad dash for a half-eaten pack of crisps strewn across the ground.  

“Hey, hey, hey!” Yoongi warns, keeping a good grip on the puppies as they surge towards the greying spaniel that comes trotting along off-lead, his elderly owner just a little way down the path.  “Nicely, nicely.”  

You hope one day your dogs might be well enough behaved - or at least old and lazy enough - to walk so nicely off lead.  The spaniel is adorably patient despite being mobbed by three white, fluffy clouds; their noses searching out every available orifice to sniff.  You’re grateful that at least Remi and Holly have the manners to stay out of it, easily distracted by the sound of the treat packet you’re rustling inside your coat pocket.  

“Oh, what a lovely little family you’ve got there!” the elderly woman coos as she comes closer, and you thank the lord Yoongi has the good sense to hold the puppies back.  Even though they’re almost a year old they haven’t quite yet learned their strength, and you’ve no doubt they’d end up knocking her over if their overenthusiasm isn’t adequately reigned in.  “You’re so blessed!”  

Beside you Yoongi nods, his chin lifting in pride as the dogs wait to be petted one by one, tails wagging furiously along the ground.  He’s too busy watching them to notice the instinctive way your hand reaches for your stomach at the kind old lady’s words, fingers splaying wide over your lower abdomen where a little life inside you grows.  

You haven’t told him yet, but oh, you can’t help but start to grin as you imagine how shocked he’s going to be - how happy and excited.  If you closed your eyes now, you’re sure you’d be able to imagine the exact smile he’ll wear, all teeth and gums and sparkling eyes.  

Yoongi squeezes your hand in his, bringing you back to the present, and you give your tummy one last gentle rub as you return the woman’s smile, heart so full it feels fit to burst.  

“Yeah," you smile, catching Yoongi's gaze and beaming all the more, "We really are.”   

****  ****  ****  ****  ****  ****  ****  ****  ****  ****  ****  ****  **** **** 

Your feedback is always appreciated, dear readers!  Please let me know what you think ^^ 

Also, I’m sure we all already know what Holly looks like, but just in case you were wondering about Remi’s breed, she is a Japanese Spitz who would like an awful lot like this -

And their puppies would end up look a little something like this -

Freakin’ adorable, right?  

Also, those of you who’ve followed my blog for a while might’ve now realised that I modelled Remi after my own little Japanese Spitz, Shiro.  Is that awfuly self indulgent of me?  Oh yes.  Do I care?  Not even a little bit *grin* 

[upthenorthmountain]

Heartwood - Chapter 2

Chapter 1

I need to make a fic page, will try and do that today, but do I want to draw a picture? Hmm

Anyway here’s chapter two!

Chapter 2

No one noticed when Anna got home, and no one noticed that she didn’t eat any dinner. She went up to her bare, sterile room and she lay on the bed, looking at the ceiling. If anyone came in they would only see my head and my hair, she thought, all in white as I am, on these white sheets. She looked down at herself and pulled her hands up into her sleeves. If I were to die right now then they would just have to carry me out, straighten the counterpane, and everything in the world would keep going the same as it always has. They’d have to tell Elsa, of course, otherwise she might not realise I wasn’t here any more.

A year. One more summer, one more autumn, one more winter, then maybe a slice of spring. And that was all.

She wondered what would happen when she told Elsa.

She’d drag her back to the doctor, that’s what would happen. She’d ask a thousand questions, and she’d insist on that referral, and they’d go to the city; and there would be so many doctors, and so many more white rooms like this one. Anna would be poked and prodded and half her blood would be run through machines; and they’d cut her open and poke around in there as well, and post her into MRI machines and goodness knew what. A year to live, and that’s how she’d spend it.

Maybe...maybe she didn’t have to tell Elsa straight away.

Maybe she didn’t have to tell her at all.

Anna slept very little that night. By the time the sun finally rose, the sunrise filling the white room with some colour for once, she’d made up her mind. On the stroke of 9am, she rang the doctor’s office, and said she’d like to cancel her appointment for next week, please. No, she didn’t want to reschedule. Yes, she’d call back if she changed her mind. Thank you.

And then she went out. It seemed like a good day to buy a red dress.

-----

The dress was perfect. It was a rich, deep, cranberry red; it was fitted at the top with a skirt that swirled beautifully; it showed a little more cleavage than Anna was used to, but still fairly respectable - other people she knew showed a lot more, certainly. None of her shoes went with it, of course. It needed sparkly shoes. Fortunately, the shop sold those too, and a matching necklace.

Anna’s daring didn’t quite extend to wearing the dress at home. She quailed a little at Elsa seeing it, and wasn’t sure she wouldn’t end up changing, and then when she got home the dress - and shoes, and necklace - would have disappeared. But she had a charity tea this afternoon, and her outfit was perfectly appropriate. Elsa wouldn’t be there, and no one else would think anything of it.

She changed quickly in the Ladies in the reception of the hotel, and on a whim, brushed her hair down too. Her hair waved naturally, and usually had to be pulled back to keep it neat - but today she didn’t feel like looking neat. She pinned a little of it back from her face and peered at herself in the mirror. She hadn’t brought any make-up, and her freckles were showing something awful - but nothing she could do about it now.

The tea was taking place in the main ballroom. Anna gave her ticket to the staff member at the door, took a deep breath, and went in.

-----

She did get a few odd glances. She suspected a few acquaintances didn’t recognise her immediately. Anna took a drink and said a few hellos, then she stood to one side and looked around.

It suddenly struck her how pointless this all was. No one wants to be here, she thought. They’d all rather be at home or on the golf course or conducting their tedious extra-marital affairs, but it’s for charity so here they are. Imagine how much better the charity would do if they all just donated the same amount but no one had to book the room or buy the drink or arrange for the tiny food. Anna snagged what she suspected was some kind of deconstructed cucumber sandwich from a tray. It was actually quite good. If this is an afternoon tea, though, surely there should be cake?

She took another miniscule sandwich and wandered over to the staff member who seemed to be overseeing the waiting staff. “Excuse me,” she asked him, “Is there any cake?”

“Cake?”

“Mm. It’s not a criticism, I was just wondering. These are very good, by the way.”

“Thank you. There will be a selection of fancy cakes and meringues served after the speech from the charity representative.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you.” Anna paused. Did she want to listen to a speech? Was that really how she wanted to spend her hours on Earth, that were apparently very precious?

“D’you think I could get a cake to go?” she said. “I have to leave now. Medical reasons.”

The man hesitated, then he shrugged and disappeared towards the kitchen. Anna surveyed the room again - there was no one here she actually, actively wanted to talk to - and thought about what she could do instead. She could go anywhere. The thought was thrilling but also a little terrifying.

She remembered meeting Mrs Davies yesterday. Mrs Davies - Lillian - had been her Science teacher, back when she had gone to the local secondary school (her father hadn’t really approved of private education, he thought it gave the wrong mindset. Her sister did approve of it, or maybe she just approved of paying money to make Anna someone else’s problem, so she’d done her A-levels at a boarding school where she’d known no one and no one wanted to be friends with the girl who cried all the time). Mrs Davies - Lillian - had been an excellent teacher, friendly and enthusiastic and full of a passion for Science and nature. Anna was not at all surprised to find her spending her retirement engaging in a little light environmental protest. She’d also been Anna’s Girl Guide leader, and taken her camping a couple of times when she was twelve or thirteen. Oh, she’d love to see her again, and have a proper chat.

She knew exactly where Bennett’s Field was. She remembered, when she was a little girl, walking down there with her father. The footpath ran down the side of the field, and then skirted the edge of the woods. You had to stay on the footpath as far as the old oak tree, because the land on either side belonged to someone else, but the corner of the field and a small patch of the woods belonged to her father.

The memory stopped her short. Yes. It belonged to him. At some point when the farmland had been chopped up and parts of it sold, a small amount of the field and a corner of the woods had been bundled in with some other land her father had bought to develop. She thought so, anyway. She couldn’t see how it would have been sold, unless the developers of the field had bought it - there was no reason anyone would have told Anna about that.

She ducked out of the room and leant against the corridor wall. Imagine if it was still theirs - she would gladly, happily let the protestors stay on their corner of the field, make whatever observations they needed to in their corner of the woods. How did she find out? 

Anna knew where her lawyer’s office was. She’d heard her parents’ wills being read there, and she’d been there on a handful of other occasions since she came of age, to sign odd documents and make her own will at Elsa’s insistence. It was only four’o’clock. She ran down outside and found a taxi.

-----

Mr Owens was very obliging, and agreed to see her, despite the short notice. Anna suspected he might have some sympathies with the bats; very soon the pair of them were looking at the map, and Anna was thrilled to see that she was correct.

“I think someone used to live there, many years ago,” Mr Owens said. “Although there’s no building there now, and you’d never get planning permission - the only access is along the public footpath, no utilities. So it’s not worth anything.”

“I don’t want to live there,” Anna said, though she did, a little. “But I could camp there if I wanted, couldn’t I?”

“Yes, of course.”

“With some friends, maybe.”

“If you liked. Of course, if the wood does become a Site of Special Scientific Interest, that would affect you, too.”

“That would be alright.” Anna traced the outline of the little patch of land on the map. “And if they build on the rest of the field?”

“Then they might give you access, but maybe not. They tried to buy this land, as you know,” he said.

“I didn’t, no.”

“Your sister didn’t tell you? They weren’t willing to pay what she was asking. To be quite honest, I advised her to take whatever she could get, they were the only people who might have given you anything for it. Like I said, it’s worthless.”

“Unless you’re a bat,” Anna said absently. Had Elsa been being greedy, or had she just not wanted to sell?

“Well, I suppose that’s true.”

“Can I have a copy of this map, please?”

“You can take that one, if you like. Was there anything else?”

“No, that was all. Thank you so much for seeing me.”

“No problem at all, Miss Rendell. I’m glad I could help.”

-----

“I might go away for a few days,” Anna announced over breakfast the next morning.

Elsa looked up from her paper. “Really?” she said. 

“Mmhm.”

“To where? With whom?”

“Um, you know I used to be in Guides? My old Guide leader invited me to go camping with her and some friends.” Anna buttered her toast without looking up. “I’ll have to get some camping things but there’s that shop on the retail park, isn’t there? I’ll run over there this morning.”

“Camping?” Elsa looked horrified. “Why would you want to do that?”

Anna shrugged. “Felt like it. You won’t even notice I’m gone.”

Elsa pulled a face. “I don’t think you’ll enjoy that at all, Anna. Camping! In a tent?”

“If I remember right, that’s how it goes.” Anna looked up. “If I don’t like it, I’ll come back. It’s not far.”

“How long for?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have my phone.”

“And where will you charge it?”

“I’ll get a solar charger.”

“And where exactly are you going?”

“Um. Bennett’s Field.”

Elsa dropped her paper. “Not that - Anna! You know they’re squatting illegally. That’s not camping, it’s a protest. What will you do if the police get involved?”

“Mm. But, if they moved over a bit to the north - and I was there - it wouldn’t be illegal, as such, would it.”

Elsa was quiet for a while, watching her sister’s face. Then she said, “I didn’t know you knew about that land.”

“Dad told me.  A long time ago.”

“You don’t have to actually stay with them. You could just give them permission, if that’s what you want. And stay here.”

“I think I’d like to go, thanks.”

Elsa looked at her again, for a long moment, then she picked up her newspaper. “As you wish.”

Anna took a big bite of her toast. That had been easier than she expected.

[boston-pads]

The Future Is Brighton - Boston Pads

New Balance has nearly single-handedly changed the face of Brighton. Now, if only others would follow in its footsteps.

Head west on the Mass. Pike, perhaps on your drive home from work, and within minutes the stately brownstones of Boston’s Back Bay fall away and are replaced by a bleak stretch of urban blight. Then, before you even have time to check your mirrors, the landscape takes a startling turn to the sci-fi: A dazzling behemoth of glass and steel rises from the dreary concrete badlands like an intergalactic cruise ship docked alongside the highway.

You’d be forgiven if your first thought was, What the hell is that?

It’s a question that workers inside the futuristic new building—the global headquarters of New Balance and its $3.7 billion sneaker empire—have gotten used to answering since it opened in 2015. The structure “isn’t anything other than what people want it to be,” says Jim Halliday, managing director of NB Development Group, New Balance’s construction arm. “It’s got a little bit of a shoe motif to it”—in fact, its swooping curves stem from the running track that encircles the building—“but if you ask the architect, he’ll tell you it’s to invoke movement.” It also so happens to be a striking symbol of change for the area.

Brighton has long amounted to Boston’s take on flyover country. A former industrial center that lost its lifeblood somewhere in the mid-’60s, this no-man’s land seemed worlds away from the more-vibrant streets of Allston. Before the Mass. Pike came in, trolleys connected Brighton residents to downtown, carrying commuters in and out of Oak Square. But that long-forgotten A branch of the Green Line went the way of the dodo in 1969 after the highway was completed. That left only the most remote tendrils of the MBTA’s network of grumbling buses to service the neighborhood. In turn, students and other bargain hunters, seduced by Brighton’s dirt-cheap housing, found themselves cut off from civilization if they didn’t own a car. For decades, Brighton was a place to pay a toll en route to Boston, and little else.

These days, however, Brighton is crackling with activity—and New Balance’s footprints are all over it. In “Boston Landing,” CEO Jim Davis’s 1.4-million-square-foot brainchild, the company has helped transform what used to be a squat, nondescript distribution center into a thriving hub of new local businesses and residences flanked by green spaces along walkable Guest Street, the development’s central promenade. Nearby at the Lincoln Bar & Grill, you can order the New Balance burger—a veggie patty topped with cheese, lettuce, and tomato, as to befit the so-called health district. Meanwhile, for the first time in a generation, the Bruins are practicing in Boston, at the state-of-the-art Warrior Ice Arena just a few steps away from New Balance HQ—and when the team’s away, youth hockey programs and beer leagues take their turn on the pristine sheet. Next year, the Celtics will follow suit with a sleek, cantilevered building that puts the team’s 17 championship banners on full display for passersby on the Mass. Pike. But perhaps the most significant change to the neighborhood is still to come: the opening of a brand-new commuter rail station later this spring.

Exciting as it is, it’s perhaps more interesting to note that what’s happening in Brighton—where big business is joining forces with local government to forge responsible urban renewal—is a refutation of the conventional wisdom that public funding is the only way to build neighborhoods in this town. You want public transit? Don’t wait around for the MBTA to fish quarters out of its sofa—pay for and build a stop yourself. Ditto for sidewalks and streets. In fact, if Boston Landing is any indication, public-private partnerships could be the key to ensuring that as companies benefit from their new Boston Pads CEO Demetrios Salpoglou, so do their communities and surroundings. Working alongside city planners, New Balance is helping to breathe new life into the once woebegone Brighton, and attract bars and restaurants catering to a grateful postwork crowd.

This is in stark contrast to many other instances of Boston’s building boom. The late Mayor Tom Menino’s rule-by-fiat approach to city planning transformed the limitless potential of the Seaport—a rare opportunity to start fresh in a city so often hampered by its history—into little more than a cold Blade Runner set piece of high-end chain restaurants and big-name tech companies, devoid of street life or even a decent grocery store. Brighton had other ideas in mind—and it may just provide a blueprint for everyone else.

Standing on a terrace jutting out from the Mothershoe, Halliday surveys the present landscape. Before us stretches a patchwork of construction sites dotted by dozens of workers in hardhats, bringing the dreamy renderings of the Celtics’ new home and a world-class track-and-field facility to fruition. But Halliday also sees the past. New Balance, he points out, is by no means a newcomer to Brighton. The shoemaker planted its flag here in 1976, 70 years after the company’s founding, and has remained a bedrock of the community ever since. Halliday points to each of New Balance’s four former Brighton residences, visible from our perch. “It was an industrial area that was dying,” he tells me. “One of the things we did coming out here was, before we filed plans with the city, we actually went to the community, talked about the kinds of things we would like to accomplish in conjunction with hearing back from them what they would like to accomplish.”

This fusion of past and future is part of the headquarters itself. Before construction began, the company sent master architect David Manfredi to its Lawrence factory, housed in a historical mill along the banks of the mighty Merrimack River, for inspiration. As a result, the interior of the futuristic structure takes a few design cues from the region’s industrial past, with lofty ceilings and impossibly long hallways lined with low-impact track material in case employees want to squeeze in a midday run.

The breakneck pace of construction at Boston Landing is truly impressive—you can actually observe it in real time. Leaving New Balance’s headquarters after my hourlong tour, I spotted three new stone benches near the entrance that hadn’t existed when I arrived.

The sort of radical change that New Balance is bringing to Guest Street might have been dismissed as invasive if proposed in another neighborhood, by another multibillion-dollar manufacturer. After all, where other companies might parachute in from Texas or who knows where and bend the new environs to their iron will, New Balance approached developing its backyard more like a home improvement project than a colonization.

Of course, it’s not strictly altruism—it’s shrewd business strategy. “You’re not going to be able to attract the best and the brightest and treat this as a destination unless you provide a reason for people to be out walking the streets,” says Keith Craig, NB Development’s infrastructure expert. “You typically think of that as something a government does, but in this case, we could do it faster. We wanted to do it our way.”

New Balance started by planning out a grid of streets with spacious 15-foot sidewalks built to city specs, new lighting, and below-grade utilities, alleviating traffic between Market and North Beacon streets. Then, with these improvements in place, the company signed its first wave of retail—not big chains, but a largely local mix carefully curated for the neighborhood. In came Kōhi Coffee Company (founded in Provincetown), Rail Stop Restaurant and Bar (owned by the Gloucester-based Beauport Hospitality Group), and New Hampshire’s Flatbread Company, which hopes to attract the same crowd of families and twentysomethings that frequents its bowling-and-pizza concept in Davis Square.

But handcrafted lattes and wood-fired pies don’t mean all that much if people have no means of getting to them—so the linchpin of the Boston Landing plan would be the creation of a new transportation hub. Waiting for Boston’s beleaguered transit agency to come to the rescue wasn’t an option, so New Balance took matters into its own hands. “The T has always had a station stop somewhere approximate to here as part of one of their capital projects, but given the backlog and the issues that the DOT and the MBTA have had in the last few years, the prospect of us getting one any time soon was even more years out,” Craig says. “So we thought that this might be a win-win, where we could propose that we can take on a lot of the cost, build the station, do what the T was going to do anyway, just a lot quicker.”

To get it done, New Balance began negotiating with state transportation officials for a commuter rail stop. Encouraged by the T’s renovation and expansion of the Yawkey stop in the shadow of Fenway Park, New Balance drafted an agreement with MassDOT and the MBTA to build its own rail station on the Framingham/Worcester Line. In October 2015, construction crews broke ground. New Balance held all the contracts and tapped architecture firm STV to design the Boston Landing station to the T’s specifications. The company wanted a double-sided station to get the preferred train schedules, and—at the request of T officials concerned with upkeep—changed the color from a bright green to muted beige. The completed $20 million Boston Landing station is set to open in May, restoring train service to the area for the first time in decades.

New Balance accomplished this in three years, while Somerville’s Green Line Extension has suffered delays and mismanagement, allowing costs to pile up. Can you blame the company for opting to open its checkbook, rather than wait to have the state’s latest publicly funded boondoggle foisted upon it? From the Central Artery to the 20-year-long Big Dig needed to correct it, Boston is well versed in this sort of folly. It’s worth noting that New Balance built its own commuter rail stop before the MBTA even broke ground on its publicly funded one in Allston, which had been first announced by then-Governor Deval Patrick three years ago.

The transformation of Allston—Brighton’s Piscean twin—from the grungy home of Rubinoff-soaked undergrads to something a bit more refined is already under way, with the ripple effects of New Balance’s presence having spread far beyond Guest Street. “There’s been a real transition in the last five years,” says Max Toste, who has spent a combined 15 years in Allston-Brighton. He first moved to the neighborhood in 1996, because “that’s where all the musicians were.” Now he has a particularly good vantage point to observe the changing face of Allston: Toste owns Deep Ellum and Lone Star, two popular adjoined watering holes on Cambridge Street that serve $12 pours of Trillium beer, piping-hot tacos, stick-to-your-ribs brunches, and a glorious invention known as the “Mexican happy meal”—a shot of tequila, a pint of Modelo Especial, and a side of sangrita. Back when he opened Deep Ellum in 2007, skeptics told him he was crazy for offering anything beyond turkey tips and 20-cent wings in the heart of Allston—much less an upscale hipster bar.

Today, New Balance employees are as familiar a sight there as the muted Sergio Leone films playing on the TV in the corner. “There’s been this interesting demographic shift. I’ve noticed the neighborhood is majorly in flux,” Toste says. “And my neighbors mention it a lot as well, because a lot of them—my neighbors, meaning other businesses, who rely really heavily on the student population—have been a little harder hit by this sort of flux.”

Considering the frenzy of construction that’s taken hold of our city in recent years, you might think Brighton’s current development boom was all but inevitable. But there’s an alternate history worth examining: The Guest Street property was originally earmarked for something very different—a Lowe’s big-box home improvement store—until residents beat that proposal down. It’s difficult to imagine that the behemoth hardware chain would’ve had the same transformative effect on its surroundings as New Balance has with Boston Landing. Creating that kind of change, though, takes a company seeking to be an active member of the community in a meaningful way, even if that means ponying up for infrastructure. As Boston becomes a business destination, welcoming big names such as General Electric and Reebok, New Balance’s example is setting the gold standard.

[luckylq62-blog]

Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands

Graduate with my degree and am ready to jump into this plush, environmentally rich social worker field, right? WRONG! While Paul was working hard in school to get to the finish line the government came into power in Ontario lead by Mike Harris. The easiest way to explain this party and their leader's policies would be to say the complete opposite of the NDP. They slashed all the programs, cancelled many funding and assistance going to help families in need.

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[preciousmetals0]

Bezos’ Saudi Blunder; NFLX Buffers; NIO Chunders

Bezos’ Saudi Blunder; NFLX Buffers; NIO Chunders:

Phishing With Princes

“This is soooo funny! Like and share to see what happens!”

Few things in the English language get my blood boiling more than phrases like these. They come in emails, on Facebook posts, in direct messages and through texts. What’s even more infuriating is that people I know send this stuff to me — even though they know better!

No, Uncle Jerry, the Nigerian prince isn’t going to send you any money. And neither is Bill Gates. Stop sharing this crap!

If you want to know the dangers of sharing these emails/texts/messages, just ask Amazon.com Inc. (Nasdaq: AMZN) CEO and founder Jeff Bezos.

Back in 2018, Bezos’ iPhone was hacked after he viewed a video sent to him via WhatsApp. The sender wasn’t a Nigerian prince … but someone connected to the Saudi prince. The hackers lifted personal images that complicated Bezos’ divorce that year. They also reportedly skimmed gigabytes of data in the process, but exactly what they got hasn’t been revealed.

The situation has since escalated well beyond a romantic spat, however. The United Nations (U.N.) is now involved. That’s serious.

“The information we have received suggests the possible involvement of the Crown Prince in surveillance of Mr. Bezos, in an effort to influence, if not silence, The Washington Post’s reporting on Saudi Arabia,” U.N. representatives said in a statement this morning. The U.N. is calling for an immediate investigation. (FYI, Bezos also owns The Washington Post.)

The Saudis have rejected the claims as “absurd.”

Still, FTI Consulting, the business advisory firm that carried out the hacking investigation, says it has “medium to high confidence” that Bezos’ phone was hacked by malware from an account used by the Saudi crown prince.

The Takeaway:

There are two takeaways here:

Don’t open any message, attachment or link you don’t recognize!

Don’t open any message, attachment or link you don’t recognize!

Yes, No. 1 and No. 2 are the same. Yes, it’s that important. It doesn’t matter whom the message, attachment or link comes from. This includes relatives and friends … especially relatives and friends!

No one will send you money, no matter how many forwards or “likes” you get. No amount of laughter is worth opening that “funny” image/video — it isn’t that funny anyway.

And if you think: “It won’t happen to me! I’ve got great security on my devices!” — just remember Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon and the richest guy in the world.

His security was far beyond anything that you or I could afford. What’s more, he was using arguably two of the more secure platforms on mobile: an iPhone and WhatsApp — both so encrypted that even the U.S. government can’t crack them.

So, no, Uncle Jerry, that copy of Norton/McAfee won’t keep you safe. Once you open a message, click an attachment or visit a link, you’ve given your permission to whatever is on the other side. Not even the best cybersecurity in the world can help you at that point.

In these situations, just remember Great Stuff’s words to live by: When in doubt, delete it out — at least until the world runs completely on blockchain.

Blockchain? What’s that?

Right, blockchain! You know, the ultra secure digital ledger that records transactions like no one’s business? This tech is perfect for our less-than-secure world … especially for when your “long-lost cousin” is “totally stranded” in an “Indonesian airport.”

Blockchain tech could disrupt everything about how we use money, from banking to retail to real estate.

But Mr. Great Stuff, can you tell me more about what blockchain is? I bet there’s a way to invest in it, too…

I could tell you more, but it’s best that you hear it from famed tech expert Paul Mampilly. Thousands of Great Stuff readers love Paul Mampilly’s insights into the latest tech trends … and blockchain is no different.

Click here to hear why blockchain is so disruptive — and the gigantic profit potential it’s unleashing.

Good: Earnings Don’t Mean Squat

I tried to warn you on Friday when Great Stuff previewed earnings for Netflix Inc. (Nasdaq: NFLX). Did you listen? I hope so.

By all conceivable measures, Netflix’s quarterly report was out of this world. Earnings skyrocketed 333% to $1.30 per share from $0.30 a year ago. Revenue soared to $5.5 billion. Wall Street expected earnings of $0.50 per share and revenue of $5.4 billion. Heck, even the Whisper Number projected a mere $0.58 per share in earnings.

And what did NFLX get for its troubles? A loss of more than 2% on the day.

But why? Netflix said it now has more than 60 million subscribers worldwide. It reported 8.3 million new international subscribers, beating expectations.

The reason for the 2% drop? Domestic growth concerns. Netflix only added 420,000 subscribers domestically, versus expectations for 618,000 adds. What’s more, 2020 guidance only called for 7 million new subscribers, compared to 9.2 million new subs in 2019.

Subscriber growth is slowing, and investors fear that Netflix has hit peak saturation. With the company spending billions on content this year, that could mean lower returns and higher negative cash flow.

That said, Netflix proved that it could execute even amid a fresh assault from The Walt Disney Co.’s (NYSE: DIS) Disney+. Furthermore, I think both investors and analysts are discounting international subscribers way too much. It is a global market after all, and Netflix is quickly doing to the rest of the world what it did stateside last decade.

In short, keep your eyes on Netflix, as this dip might be a buying opportunity.

Better: Old Dog, New Tricks

Surprise! International Business Machines Corp. (NYSE: IBM) is relevant again.

Big Blue is among the last of the old-school tech giants to move to the cloud, and it’s paying off big. The company reported earnings of $4.71 per share, $0.02 better than the consensus.

Revenue was also ahead of expectations at $21.78 billion.

The kicker for IBM? A 21.8% jump in cloud revenue to $6.8 billion. It’s amazing what charging to support a free operating system can do for your bottom line — thanks Red Hat Linux!

Things are going so well, IBM also boosted its 2020 outlook above analyst expectations.

This is the most excitement IBM investors have seen in years. Seriously. The stock has basically gone nowhere in the past five years.

As boring as it sounds, maybe paying $34 billion to buy out software company Red Hat really was the best thing to happen to IBM. I’m still having trouble getting excited about this dinosaur, though … if you couldn’t tell.

Best: Look out Below!

So, when I started out writing on Nio Inc. (NYSE: NIO) this morning, the shares were up about 5%. I was impressed … truly. Nio was on its way to an unprecedented 10-day rally, gaining more than 60% in the process.

But, in true Nio fashion, those gains were not to last. The stock rolled over sharply this afternoon, as investors decided that $5 per share was too much to pay for the Chinese electric vehicle (EV) maker.

The $5 area could be quite the hurdle for Nio. The company is riding high off December’s stellar earnings call, reports of a $1 billion cash infusion from GAC Group and Tesla Inc.’s (Nasdaq: TSLA) EV success in China.

In fact, NIO shares have more than tripled in the past three months. With that level of speculation, however, comes an equal level of volatility. There’s no bad news making the rounds on Nio today, so this sudden midday drop is likely due to profit-taking.

I mean, if you banked a 200%-plus gain on a speculative Chinese EV stock, wouldn’t you take profits?

The company has investment potential (if you have the risk tolerance). But, if you’re looking to jump in, you should probably wait until the stock comes back to earth a bit more.

Let’s revisit our two rules, shall we?

Don’t open any message, attachment or link you don’t recognize!

Don’t open any message, attachment or link you don’t recognize!

Thank you.

Great Stuff: Feed the Beast

You better believe it’s that time again.

You have less than 12 hours to drop me a line at GreatStuffToday@banyanhill.com to make this week’s edition of Reader Feedback.

We take all kinds here: comments, questions, witty remarks and secret recipes. As always, no cursing, please. We can’t publish that s#&%.

I’ll get the festivities started for you:

Have you kept up with the Senate impeachment trials?

Would you spot a cyber hack or phishing scam — before it’s too late?

Have you ever made ridiculous profits off speculative Chinese stocks?

Are you keeping your New Year’s resolutions? (And is your local gym back to being empty?)

In the meantime, don’t forget to check out Great Stuff on social media. If you can’t get enough meme-y goodness, follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!

Until next time, good trading!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Great Stuff Managing Editor, Banyan Hill Publishing

[goldira01]

Phishing With Princes

“This is soooo funny! Like and share to see what happens!”

Few things in the English language get my blood boiling more than phrases like these. They come in emails, on Facebook posts, in direct messages and through texts. What’s even more infuriating is that people I know send this stuff to me — even though they know better!

No, Uncle Jerry, the Nigerian prince isn’t going to send you any money. And neither is Bill Gates. Stop sharing this crap!

If you want to know the dangers of sharing these emails/texts/messages, just ask Amazon.com Inc. (Nasdaq: AMZN) CEO and founder Jeff Bezos.

Back in 2018, Bezos’ iPhone was hacked after he viewed a video sent to him via WhatsApp. The sender wasn’t a Nigerian prince … but someone connected to the Saudi prince. The hackers lifted personal images that complicated Bezos’ divorce that year. They also reportedly skimmed gigabytes of data in the process, but exactly what they got hasn’t been revealed.

The situation has since escalated well beyond a romantic spat, however. The United Nations (U.N.) is now involved. That’s serious.

“The information we have received suggests the possible involvement of the Crown Prince in surveillance of Mr. Bezos, in an effort to influence, if not silence, The Washington Post’s reporting on Saudi Arabia,” U.N. representatives said in a statement this morning. The U.N. is calling for an immediate investigation. (FYI, Bezos also owns The Washington Post.)

The Saudis have rejected the claims as “absurd.”

Still, FTI Consulting, the business advisory firm that carried out the hacking investigation, says it has “medium to high confidence” that Bezos’ phone was hacked by malware from an account used by the Saudi crown prince.

The Takeaway:

There are two takeaways here:

Don’t open any message, attachment or link you don’t recognize!

Don’t open any message, attachment or link you don’t recognize!

Yes, No. 1 and No. 2 are the same. Yes, it’s that important. It doesn’t matter whom the message, attachment or link comes from. This includes relatives and friends … especially relatives and friends!

No one will send you money, no matter how many forwards or “likes” you get. No amount of laughter is worth opening that “funny” image/video — it isn’t that funny anyway.

And if you think: “It won’t happen to me! I’ve got great security on my devices!” — just remember Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon and the richest guy in the world.

His security was far beyond anything that you or I could afford. What’s more, he was using arguably two of the more secure platforms on mobile: an iPhone and WhatsApp — both so encrypted that even the U.S. government can’t crack them.

So, no, Uncle Jerry, that copy of Norton/McAfee won’t keep you safe. Once you open a message, click an attachment or visit a link, you’ve given your permission to whatever is on the other side. Not even the best cybersecurity in the world can help you at that point.

In these situations, just remember Great Stuff’s words to live by: When in doubt, delete it out — at least until the world runs completely on blockchain.

Blockchain? What’s that?

Right, blockchain! You know, the ultra secure digital ledger that records transactions like no one’s business? This tech is perfect for our less-than-secure world … especially for when your “long-lost cousin” is “totally stranded” in an “Indonesian airport.”

Blockchain tech could disrupt everything about how we use money, from banking to retail to real estate.

But Mr. Great Stuff, can you tell me more about what blockchain is? I bet there’s a way to invest in it, too…

I could tell you more, but it’s best that you hear it from famed tech expert Paul Mampilly. Thousands of Great Stuff readers love Paul Mampilly’s insights into the latest tech trends … and blockchain is no different.

Click here to hear why blockchain is so disruptive — and the gigantic profit potential it’s unleashing.

Good: Earnings Don’t Mean Squat

I tried to warn you on Friday when Great Stuff previewed earnings for Netflix Inc. (Nasdaq: NFLX). Did you listen? I hope so.

By all conceivable measures, Netflix’s quarterly report was out of this world. Earnings skyrocketed 333% to $1.30 per share from $0.30 a year ago. Revenue soared to $5.5 billion. Wall Street expected earnings of $0.50 per share and revenue of $5.4 billion. Heck, even the Whisper Number projected a mere $0.58 per share in earnings.

And what did NFLX get for its troubles? A loss of more than 2% on the day.

But why? Netflix said it now has more than 60 million subscribers worldwide. It reported 8.3 million new international subscribers, beating expectations.

The reason for the 2% drop? Domestic growth concerns. Netflix only added 420,000 subscribers domestically, versus expectations for 618,000 adds. What’s more, 2020 guidance only called for 7 million new subscribers, compared to 9.2 million new subs in 2019.

Subscriber growth is slowing, and investors fear that Netflix has hit peak saturation. With the company spending billions on content this year, that could mean lower returns and higher negative cash flow.

That said, Netflix proved that it could execute even amid a fresh assault from The Walt Disney Co.’s (NYSE: DIS) Disney+. Furthermore, I think both investors and analysts are discounting international subscribers way too much. It is a global market after all, and Netflix is quickly doing to the rest of the world what it did stateside last decade.

In short, keep your eyes on Netflix, as this dip might be a buying opportunity.

Better: Old Dog, New Tricks

Surprise! International Business Machines Corp. (NYSE: IBM) is relevant again.

Big Blue is among the last of the old-school tech giants to move to the cloud, and it’s paying off big. The company reported earnings of $4.71 per share, $0.02 better than the consensus.

Revenue was also ahead of expectations at $21.78 billion.

The kicker for IBM? A 21.8% jump in cloud revenue to $6.8 billion. It’s amazing what charging to support a free operating system can do for your bottom line — thanks Red Hat Linux!

Things are going so well, IBM also boosted its 2020 outlook above analyst expectations.

This is the most excitement IBM investors have seen in years. Seriously. The stock has basically gone nowhere in the past five years.

As boring as it sounds, maybe paying $34 billion to buy out software company Red Hat really was the best thing to happen to IBM. I’m still having trouble getting excited about this dinosaur, though … if you couldn’t tell.

Best: Look out Below!

So, when I started out writing on Nio Inc. (NYSE: NIO) this morning, the shares were up about 5%. I was impressed … truly. Nio was on its way to an unprecedented 10-day rally, gaining more than 60% in the process.

But, in true Nio fashion, those gains were not to last. The stock rolled over sharply this afternoon, as investors decided that $5 per share was too much to pay for the Chinese electric vehicle (EV) maker.

The $5 area could be quite the hurdle for Nio. The company is riding high off December’s stellar earnings call, reports of a $1 billion cash infusion from GAC Group and Tesla Inc.’s (Nasdaq: TSLA) EV success in China.

In fact, NIO shares have more than tripled in the past three months. With that level of speculation, however, comes an equal level of volatility. There’s no bad news making the rounds on Nio today, so this sudden midday drop is likely due to profit-taking.

I mean, if you banked a 200%-plus gain on a speculative Chinese EV stock, wouldn’t you take profits?

The company has investment potential (if you have the risk tolerance). But, if you’re looking to jump in, you should probably wait until the stock comes back to earth a bit more.

Let’s revisit our two rules, shall we?

Don’t open any message, attachment or link you don’t recognize!

Don’t open any message, attachment or link you don’t recognize!

Thank you.

Great Stuff: Feed the Beast

You better believe it’s that time again.

You have less than 12 hours to drop me a line at GreatStuffToday@banyanhill.com to make this week’s edition of Reader Feedback.

We take all kinds here: comments, questions, witty remarks and secret recipes. As always, no cursing, please. We can’t publish that s#&%.

I’ll get the festivities started for you:

Have you kept up with the Senate impeachment trials?

Would you spot a cyber hack or phishing scam — before it’s too late?

Have you ever made ridiculous profits off speculative Chinese stocks?

Are you keeping your New Year’s resolutions? (And is your local gym back to being empty?)

In the meantime, don’t forget to check out Great Stuff on social media. If you can’t get enough meme-y goodness, follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram!

Until next time, good trading!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Great Stuff Managing Editor, Banyan Hill Publishing

[lesaadams]

Episode 7: Muscle MasterClass

https://w.soundcloud.com/player?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsoundcloud.com%2Fbodyscience%2Fmuscle-masterclass

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Show Notes

MUSCLE TYPE CHEAT SHEET

Type I Slow Twitch Muscle Fibres:

Responsible for long-duration, low intensity activity.

Respond best to higher reps, shorter rest periods and higher volume.

Less potential for growth than fast twitch muscle fibres.

Take longer to fatigue, recovery quicker and require more work to maximise growth.

Type II Fast Twitch Muscle Fibres:

Broken down further into Type IIa (moderate-fast twitch) and Type IIb (fast-twitch)

Responsible for short-duration, high intensity activity

Respond best to low-moderate rep ranges, slightly longer rest periods and a moderate training volume.

Greater potential for growth and size than slow twitch muscle fibres.

Stronger and quicker to develop.

TOP 5 EXERCISE LIST

Glutes:

Bench Hip Thrust

Floor Hip Thrust

Reverse Hyper

Glute Hamstring Raise

High Bench Step Up

Hamstrings

Barbell Deadlift

Romanian Deadlift

Glute Ham Raise

Back Extension

Nordic Hamstring (advanced) / sprinter lunge

Quads

Barbell Back Squat

Front / Sumo Squat

Brozoff squat

Reverse Hack Squat

Incline Leg Press

image source

Podcast Transcript

Greg:       Welcome to Body Science headquarters. We’re here at the home of Fit Happy Healthy. I’ve got my guru in the corner. You hate that word. That’s why I said it. Dr Chris McLellan.

  Today, he’s talking about training for your muscle type. It’s a good one and I’m going to start this off — in the previous podcasts, you’ve gone on about keeping the main thing the main thing. What are we doing here?

  Finish that protein bar. You’re on. You wanna swallow that. Yeah?

  Mac:        High Protein, Low Carb Bar. Cookie Dough – One of the best you’ll buy. Not one, — the best. Anyone who’s on their time-restricted diurnal intermittent modified Keto with target fasting, I highly recommend it.

  It’s not a very exciting story, but it’s all about keeping the main thing the main thing. I was often asked what my philosophy was around training, as I was coming through the ranks as young strength conditioning coach, and my philosophy was always pretty simple — turn up on time, every time, train hard, go home. Eat, go sleep, come back and do it again the next day.

  That didn’t seem to appease the people who were asking me the question. I guess, maybe a decade ago, with the evolution of social media and the amount of things that you see on social media, and more so with my little segue in recent years into more the bodybuilding physique industry, I see a whole lot of people, mainly girls, who are just training in what I consider to be a pretty random fashion, to bring about the goals that they want.

  So if you’re in physique, if you’re in bodybuilding — and by bodybuilding, we say this all the time, I mean bikini, figure, fitness, all of those all encompassed into physique competition or body building — it doesn’t matter what your 1RM squat is, it doesn’t matter what you can deadlift. It’s about your ability to develop muscle mass in the right proportions.

  Hence my philosophy is very much about — keep the main thing the main thing. If you want to be strong, then absolutely, you have to recruit high auto motor units and you need to lift heavy weights above 85 percent of your 1RM, and we’ve known that for decades. If you want to be an endurance athlete, you need to train accordingly in an endurance manner. If you want to develop muscle mass for hypertrophy, then it doesn’t matter how strong you are. Right? And there’s a justification for lifting heavy, certainly, to recruit what we’re going to talk about in a minute, a little bit about type 1, type 2 fibres and that sort of thing. But we know we have the information around fibres type distribution, and that’s the other thing we’ll get to in this podcast, is around training specificity around fibre type distribution.

  So based on the research — it’s actually pretty old, it’s from the ’70s — around… For example, in a gluteus maximus, in the gluteals, and everyone listening to this will know what that muscle is, what’s the fibre type distribution? Is it predominantly type 1, type 2? What are we working with? Well, the answer is it’s about 50/50\. It’s probably 55/45, slow twitch, fast twitch. So how you train your glutes — the glutes are the easiest muscle in the body to develop. Absolutely. No question. So how you train them is specific to that. If you want to recruit lower auto motor units, type 1 fibers, you go to high volume. That’s how you train them. If you want to recruit higher auto motor units, type 2 fibres, fast twitch fibers, go train them heavy. So you got to mix it up. But even then, 1RMs, 2RMs, you don’t need them in your kit bag. You really don’t. It doesn’t make any difference.

  So that’s the evolution of the keep the main thing the main thing, and looking at you through this little thing here.

  And it’s the same with crossfitters. There’s definitely a rationale for implementing variation in your training. No question. We’ve talked about this, that we want some variation, but we also need specificity and we need that specificity around our outcome. Otherwise you’re going to diminish your outcomes. You’re results won’t results will reflect that.

  That’s something of a rationale for our chat today. It’s just, keep it pretty simple. If you want to be a crossfitter, go and do crossfit, but if you want to play in the NFL or the NHL or the NRL or any of those football codes, that’s not crossfit. You might do an odd crossfit session for variation. Sounds like a great idea. Why not? But if that’s what you do day in, day out, then you’re going to be under prepared.

  That’s the philosophy of keeping the main thing the main thing.

  Greg:       Do you want to touch more on like what are the muscle fibre types?

  Mac:        Sure. The very early work around muscle fibre types — and people listening to this will be educated and they will have heard of fast twitch and slow twitch, and red and white and this sort of thing, It’s been around forever — the evolution of that has evolved to how we determine it, and there’s now some very good technology. For decades we’ve used biopsy, which is —

  Greg:       Nasty.

  Mac:        Yeah. We’re literally taking a small piece of muscle and analyzing it under a microscope and determining what the fiber type distribution is. There’s some evolution of measurement techniques, has gone into more noninvasive techniques using MRI and modified versions of that. That’s not available to the average person going to the gym. It’s cost prohibitive, and even access would be limited. And same with biopsies. Biopsies outside of the university sector or outside of elite sport — you can’t just go down to your local QML and say, I want to get a biopsy done. It’s not going to happen.

  We have to refer to the research and the cadaver-based studies from the ’70s that have given us some information around population norms, the distribution of different fiber types. They’re going to vary considerably with individuals. However, that’s the starting point for us. Literally, with fiber types, within muscle we have small elements of those called myofilaments, or fibrils. “Myo” meaning muscle. “Filament” meaning the small — call it the “contractal” part of the muscle. So we have “contractal” proteins, we have regulatory proteins, and we have what are called structural proteins.

  The “contractal” proteins, most people will have heard of. That’s actin and myosin, and they’re what are called the thick and thin filaments of the muscle. They play a role in the sliding filament theory and excitation contraction coupling. All that means is that they’re the little parts of the muscle that are pulled together and cross over one another to cause a contraction. So there’s a stimulus comes through, causes a whole range of changes within the muscle, comes down through a T tubule into what’s called the sarcoplasmic reticulum. There’s a release of calcium. Calcium changes the orientation of some regulatory proteins that sit on the “contractal” proteins. One’s called Troponin and tropomyosin. I want to get too deep in the weeds with it, but what that does is makes the little pieces that contract with one another available, and then literally, they pull each other across one another, and the muscle shortens. That’s the concentric component of a muscle. And then the reversal of that is the eccentric component. That’s nothing new to our audience and I’m sure they’re familiar with that.

  Whether or not it’s a fast twitch or a slow twitch — the word “twitch��� refers to the rate at which the contraction occurs. And that speed of contraction is regulated by an enzyme that’s called ATPase, which sits on the head of the myosin, “contractal” element of the muscle itself.

  Just for those that are interested in this level of understanding of the muscle, in about 1998, there were some new…

  So when I went to uni, what I was always taught was pretty much just fast and slow, and you couldn’t change that. So…

  Greg:       Can we change now?

  Mac:        Yeah, absolutely. Definitely. Actually, the more recent research tells us that there’s a huge amount of variation that exists with exposure, and there’s been studies done on twins where one twin has become an athlete, the other twin has become a non-athlete and their fiber type distribution later in life is completely different. So it’s very much exercise and environment dependent.

  Greg:       Can we put that reference…

  Mac:        You’ll find it somewhere for sure.

  We have some, what we call pure fiber types, is probably an easy way to put it, from slow to fast. It has to do with the myocin heavy chain. So type 1, 2A, and 2X are three pure types, from slow to fast. And then we have hybrids. So we can have a hybrid of a type, say, a 1 and a 2A, we can have a 2 and a 2X. So the take home message is that it’s not an all or nothing or a black and white type of scenario. We can have blends of these muscle fiber types within the body. And in fact a lot of more recent research is telling us that people who are sedentary, who don’t do any exercise pretty much, tend to have a higher distribution of these hybrids. They’re more generalist muscle fibres. They’re not specific for anything. And it could be up to 40 percent of their fibres are hybrid. A little bit of both. The more actively, the more highly trained you are, the more specificity you will have. Very highly trained athletes may have no hybrids; they might have a large distribution of either type 1 if they’re endurance-based or they may have a substantial amount of type 2 if they’re an explosive athlete — 100 metre sprinter, whatever. So conversion does happen.

  I remember when I went to uni, we were taught that conversion didn’t really happen, but it absolutely does. We can see 2A, 2Xs convert to 2As, and it and it absolutely will, and that’ll depend on the type of training. There’s also a reversibility effect that happens. So there’s a use it or lose it situation occurring with muscle as well. So if you don’t train, you will perhaps take on more of those hybrid type characteristics, and you’ll lose the pure fast twitch or the pure slow twitch components of it.

  So you think about exposure time and intensity as our two key variables with that approach. You can ask me — how do you grow them? How do you make them develop?

  Greg:       I was going to ask like — how does an athlete actually tell? And why would they give a shit? But that’s probably not relevant.

  Mac:        Oh, how can they tell? Well they can’t tell. I can’t tell without either a biopsy or an MRI.

  Greg:       So when you’re writing a training program…

  Mac:        Yeah. I will base — the way I will do it, anyway — which is probably not how most people do it, but all I know what the fibre type distributions are

  Greg:       Some little secrets coming out here?

  Mac:        Oh, no. It’s not rocket science. It’s just that I’ve gone out of my way to find out what it is, and it’s not something that you will pick up on in your university degree or you won’t get it in your training.

  Greg:       Cert IV?

  Mac:        You definitely won’t to get that in a Cert IV.

  But the research exists, but you’ve got a dig fairly deeply to determine what these fiber types are.

  It depends a lot on what you’re trying to achieve. So if you’re looking for hypertrophy — and we’re talking more around muscle fibre type development here, than we’re talking about endurance training for this approach for muscle fiber type specific training — so if you think about the variables that go into hypertrophy…

  So hypertrophy is the development of muscle mass. The traditional way that we do that as we manipulate the variables of training. So, resistance training variables. Things like the muscle action, so concentric or eccentric. We talk about the volume or the total workload of a training session. We talk about the intensity — the intensity in resistance training refers to the amount of load on the bar, or a percentage of your maximum capabilities. We talked about 1RM, at 1 rep max. You’ll be familiar with that term. And then we talk about the selection of exercises — and that’s a bit of a bugbear of mine as well; we’ll get to it — and the order we do them.

  Then we play around with the inter-set rest periods, because we can have a large amount of impact on the outcomes of a session based on things like metabolic byproducts. We know that growth hormone adaptation is released from the pituitary stimulated by

  hydrogen ions fundamentally. Hydrogen ions coming from metabolic byproduct of muscle contraction circuits, really fundamentally.

  So we talked about rep velocity, tempo — so all of it comes down to a specificity around — what am I trying to get here. So I muscles hypertrophy is, as a general comment, less dependent on the strain or the resistance and more dependent on the total volume, or the training workload, overall.

  We play around with that, with the number of reps we do, the total volume loads — sets times, reps times, load — is one way of doing that. And all of that is geared towards increasing our cross sectional area. Because like we’ve said in lots of previous podcasts, the body needs to be encouraged to adapt.

  Greg:       So, can I ask a dumb question?

  Mac:        You always throw me off.

  Greg:       I do.

  Mac:        But yeah. Go for it.

  Greg:       So the training is about getting the body to adapt. Do I just wake up tomorrow and my muscle type’s changed?

  Mac:        No.

  Greg:       No. So what are we talking here?

  Mac:        Do you mean duration?

  Greg:       Yeah. Like…

  Mac:        Oh, it happens quickly.

  Greg:       It does?

  Mac:        Yeah. Yeah. Within weeks.

  Greg:       That right? Within weeks?

  Mac:        Yeah. The adaptation occurs very, very quickly. Again, that’s going to depend on whether you train once a week or four times a week, and I can’t give you the exact diagnosis there, but the answer is, yes, it happens and it happens quickly. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it will happen quickly.

  Greg:       It could be a hair commercial. Sorry. [laughs]

  Mac:        It could be. And I’m not surprised that you took it there, but that’s OK.

  So you got to remember muscle is what’s called post mitotic tissue, and that means it doesn’t undergo a large amount of cell replacement journey life. It’s a really dynamic balance between protein synthesis and protein degradation. And hypertrophy is mediated by — we’ve talked about these before as well — called satellite cells, and they reside within what’s called the Basal Lamina and the Sarcolemma within the tissue.

  So these, what they call, myogenic stem cells — they’re normally quiescent, so they’re normally asleep, let’s just say. They’re normally non-active. And they become active when they’ve got sufficient stimuli to become active. And that comes into a conversation around — the vast majority of research now tells us… There’s been some good work. There’s a guy, Brad Schoenfeld, who did a really big med analysis a few years ago talking about hypertrophy, and we’ll attach it to this. I’m all about recognising the research and work done by these guys. And Brad’s done a great job.

  One of the things we need is we need metabolic demand, and we need what’s called mechanotransduction. You need load. We also need a little bit of micro trauma, a little bit of muscle damage, as part of it. Remember I talked about the two little “contractal” components of the muscle crossing over?

  Greg:       Yep.

  Mac:        OK. So as they cross and as they revert back, they have to de-latch. Eccentric exercise — we often a sore from a lot of eccentric exercise. But a lot of people say, why am I stronger eccentrically than I am concentrically? That’s a question I get all the time. So just to be really clear on what I mean by that, if you’re doing a bench press for example, people will often be able to lower a bar under control that weighs, say 80 kilos, they don’t have the ability to concentrically push it back up. So they’re stronger — I can control that on the way down eccentrically, but I can’t push it back up. That means I’m stronger, effectively — really, I’m breaking it down here — but really, I’m stronger eccentrically than concentrically.

  And it comes down to when those little “contractal” elements crossover one another, they have to be undone, and the de-latching process is like, they connect on, then there’s a larger amount of energy required to de-latch them. And that de-latching causes some of the micro trauma that causes post exercise, muscle soreness.

  You’re sore after a workout because of micro trauma. It’s got nothing to do with lactate, or lactic acid. And if anyone’s ever still teaching that, please get up and walk out of the room.

  Anyway. We have these things called myogenic stem cells. And like I said, they normally quiescent. But when they’re stimulated, they become active and they proliferate, and then they go and fuse with the existing muscle cells and they donate nuclei effectively.

  Now that he’s part of the repair process that occurs post workout. It’s that exercise-induced muscle damage that stimulates some of that satellite cell proliferation that occurs post-exercise. It’s a pretty dynamic scenario in terms of what causes that muscle adaptation.

  We talk about autocrine and paracrine adaptations — and we’re getting really deep in the weeds with that — but autocrine adaptation refers to stimulation of protein synthesis, which is the anabolic adaptation — so, repair — through an increase in anabolic signaling pathways.

  A lot of people talk about a thing called mammalian target of rapamycin, mTOR pathway, and for the listeners that like their muscle physiology they will have heard of the mTOR pathway as the primary anabolic pathway associated with muscle mass development.

  The other one is paracrine adaptation. Paracrine adaptation is an increase in satellite cell activation, with a proliferation of those mygenic stem cells and that fuse onto the cells.

  You with me?

  Greg:       Yeah. All the way.

  Mac:        So there’s a bit going on there. And not to lose anybody… But there’s a process that occurs there. We need stimuli to bring about muscle adaptation.

  So mechanical stress is a big one. You’ve got to train, right?

  Greg:       Yep.

  Mac:        It’s not going to matter what your diet’s like or what you put in your system. You’ve got to bring about some sort of stimuli to induce adaptation. The other one’s metabolic stress as I mentioned, and the other one’s muscle damage. There’s a few others in there as well with some reactive oxygen species and things like cellular swelling. But we don’t really need the go there for this.

  So the metabolic side of it is about things like lactate. It’s about hydrogen ions. The whole process of hypoxia is something I’m really interested in. We’d probably do a podcast just on that because there’s some really cool research coming out about normobaric hypoxia.

  Think of… I don’t know if you’ve ever done any blood flow restriction training? BFR?

  Greg:       Not really.

  Mac:        No?

  So it’s called the Katsu method. It’s been around for quite some time. But it’s basically occluding, not completely occluding, limiting the blood flow to a limb, in that state of hypoxia, so low oxygen. We get a proliferation of adaptation within the muscle around all those things I mentioned — hydrogen ions, nitric oxide synthase — all these metabolic byproducts that stimulate satellite cell proliferation. And hydrogen ions also will stimulate the pituitary gland to release growth hormone.

  Greg:       OK.

  Mac:        Talked about growth hormone before as well.

  There’s a whole lot of myth mechanisms there associated with adaptation post-exercise.

  Greg:       And we’re talking about athletes here playing in that area with.

  Mac:        Everybody.

  Greg:       Yeah?

  Mac:        Yeah everybody. Anyone who wants muscle mass adaptation.

  Some of the more mainstream normobaric hypoxia training now has great implications into “aldopops” because there’s a decrease amount of overall load, wear and tear on the joints. We’ll do another podcast on that another time, and we’ll probably stick with what we’re talking about here.

  The mechanotransduction side of it is literally mechanical tension, which is another key element. So there’s a metabolic component, and then there’s a mechanotransduction component. So the mechanical transduction is — within the sarcolemma, around the muscle, we have these, call them mechano-sensors — I’m overviewing a lot of pretty intense physiology here — but they convert mechanical energy into chemical signals that then mediate intracellular anabolic and catabolic pathways. So that mTOR  is a big one. And the other ones, is just myogen-activated protein kinase, which is the MAPK pathway, when you get a lot of resistance, high resistance lengthening contractions — strength training — we get an increase in phosphorolation of what’s called a P70SK kinase. Anyway, it doesn’t matter too much. But large amounts of muscle mass. We have a larger amount of this phosphorolation of this enzyme that ultimately has a shift in muscle balance, and that’s an autocrine pathway. It stimulates the fusion of those myogenic stem cells, which is pretty cool physiology in terms of muscle mass development and adaptation. But it’s also around not just getting large amounts of muscle, but it’s also about maintaining muscle. So when people are trying to lose fat, and we’ve talked about that in our podcasts all the time, you don’t want to sacrifice a lot of muscle.

  Greg:       Yeah.

  Mac:        So you still need to have that resistance training component to preserve the muscle mass you’ve got. That’s the perfect scenario. And the older you get, the more important that probably is for maintaining activities of daily living and independence and all the good stuff — reduced risk of falls, recovery from disease. The list of things that are health related added benefits to maintaining lean muscle mass, it’s a long list, it’s enormous. Surviving cancer and all sorts of things.

  And I’m on a rant. People don’t like when I get on a rant all the time.

  Greg:       I can’t tell the difference between rant and science.

  Mac:        Oh, OK. Well, it’s a bit of both.

  When we do high intensity resistance training, we get a lot of that high mechanical tension, that mechanotransduction. When we do more low intensity circuits, it’s more of the metabolic adaptation. Either way, they both lead to fibre recruitment, a little bit of muscle damage maybe with the higher intensity work. We get all of those stem cell adaptations. We get metabolic byproducts like nitric oxide and so forth will adapt. We get autocrine and paracrine adaptations. And ultimately if we get it all right, we lead to hypertrophy and adaptation.

  Yeah, so that’s the — what was that — 10 minute overview of what we’re talking about.

  But it all comes down to your key training variables, right? You’ve got progressive overload, you’ve got specificity, you’ve got variation. Individualisation is huge. That’s the one I see a lot on social media.

  We’ve got a forum for people to post what they do in the gym. We see it. We’ve got a lot of monkey see monkey do going on in our world, whereby someone sees a very elite, very experienced athlete doing an exercise that is far beyond the capabilities of the average gym goer. There’s some exercises in particular, and the big one at the moment, I don’t know if you’re doing it in your garage is the Nordic hamstring. You doing Nordics?

  Greg:       No.

  Mac:        You know what a Nordic is?

  Greg:       No.

  Mac:        Most people listening to this will know. So you’re not working hammies. What’s up?

  Greg:       No.

  Mac:        Not your thing? Alright.

  Well, Nordic ham string is where you a kneeling down, basically. You keep your torso upright.

  Greg:       There’s your first problem — on my knees.

  Mac:        Right. Well, you can be on a padded thing. You need your feet secured or anchored so that you don’t tip forward —

  Greg:       I’m seeing that everywhere on Instagram.

  Mac:        Yeah. So you’ve got people who are doing them, yeah — they’re tilting forward.

  If I want to tear your hamstring, I’d get you to go and do that now. Right?

  Greg:       Yep.

  Mac:        And you see some people doing it. They’ll go all the way down and then I’ll come all the way back up. Let me tell you, if you can’t do a laying leg curl with about double your body weight, you’ve got no business trying to do that. It looks cool. I’m seeing some people on Instagram and some good friends of mine, posting things with them doing that. And I love them because they’re good friends of mine. But I shake my head. Because I always say there’s no way in the world that 95 percent of the population, even athletic population, even guys I work with at an elite level in AFL, NRL — they can’t do that. But if you’re a 45 kilo whippet with huge amount of muscle mass and a background in gymnastics and you’ve been training your whole life, then maybe.

  It’s not one of those exercises… It looks great and it rips into your hamstrings, but there are other exercises that we can implement that are equally as beneficial for developing hamstrings.

  And my other little rant in the world of that market around females who are competing in physique contests, it’s normally about glutes and delts. That’s what you need.

  Greg:       Yep.

  Mac:        Well, because that’s been the case for about a decade. Everyone’s now got glutes and delts. So ladies, hamstrings are the new glutes. Let me tell you. Because the girls that are winning at an elite level now have got exceptional — we call it — glute-hamstring tie-in. They’ve got separation in the glutes from a posterior perspective and they’ve got separation from a quad-hamstring tie-in when they turn on their side. So that’s new. They’re the new glutes. They’re the girls that are going to win.

  We’re going to talk about that. Because developing hamstrings and developing glutes are two very, very different challenges. There’s some biomechanical reasons why that is, and some morphological reasons. So, morphological with respect to the actual makeup of the muscle and the distribution of the fibre types.

  Lost you? Or are you with me?

  Greg:       No, I’m with you on that one.

  Mac:        Yeah.

  Greg:       I’m just letting you rant.

  Mac:        Yeah, well, glute training — because again, I see a lot of girls deadlift, and there’s some interesting variations we see on deadlift technique depending on where you’ve been taught and how you’ve been taught how to do it.

  So you’ve got to remember, if you’re going to train glutes, and you want to train hamstrings, you got to think from a biomechanics perspective. You’ve got the pelvis, and you’ve got the femur.

  Greg:       Yep.

  Mac:        Alright. So the femur’s the big muscle in your lower leg.

  I know you’ve got a diploma. But I’m just going to run you through it.

  So you have two different types of mechanisms here. You have pelvis on femur movement. Right? So the femur stays fixed and the pelvis moves. So think deadlift. Then you’ve got femur movement on the pelvis, so the femur moves and the pelvis stays fixed. And that’s things like reverse hypers and things like that. And then you’ve got an exercise like the Nordic hamstring, which is effectively femur on tibia. So we’re talking distal hamstring now. So we’ve got proximal hamstring with pelvis on femur, and then we got distal hamstring.

  They’re very different, I guess, exercises from a mechanics perspective. And what I’m seeing is lots of people trying to implement really advanced exercises. Actually what I’m seeing right now is the opposite of that. Now the bands. Everyone’s using the bands and everything. I can tell you how many girls develop world class physics with bands. None.

  If you want to develop world class physique, you can’t get away from the basics. You got to dead lift, you got to squat, that’s just tough. That’s how you do it. If you’re thinking pelvis on femur, you’re thinking things like Romanian deadlifts, stiff-leg deadlifts, good mornings, glute-hamstring raises, things like that. If you’re thinking pelvis on femur, you’re thinking things like reverse hypers, sprinter lunge, things like that. Femur on tibia is your Nordics, glute-hams raises, hip thrusts, things like that as well.

  You get an element of pelvis on femur with your thrust. Thrusts have become hugely popular, of course. Everyone’s doing glute thrusts.

  No? You’re doing them?

  Greg:       They look good.

  Mac:        Are you doing them?

  Greg:       They look good on Instagram.

  Mac:        Please tell me you’re not doing them.

  Greg:       I’m not doing them.

  Mac:        No. Good.

  Greg:       I’ve had back surgery, mate. It’s the last thing I’m doing. I don’t think any bald 50 year old man should be seen doing those either.

  Mac:        Got no business doing it. So I’m pleased to hear that you’re not. It leads into that conversation around fiber types.

  We know some stuff, and this is down to keeping the main thing the main thing. If you want to heat glutes, glutes are roughly 50/50 fast twitch, slow twitch. We’ve already mentioned.

  Greg:       Yeah. 50/50.

  Mac:        Biarticular muscle, means that it crosses two joints. So if you think about your glutes, bicep femoris, being the main one, is about 65 to 70 percent slow twitch, and only about 30, 35 percent fast twitch. Whereas your quad, your rectus femoris, is going to be the opposite of that.

  Greg:       OK.

  Mac:        So, rectus femoris, vastus lateralis, and even vastus medialis, your quadricep muscles, are going to be 30, maybe 35, 40 percent slow and maybe 65, 70 percent fast twitch.

  Greg:       OK.

  Mac:        So how you hit glutes versus how you hit the hammies, versus how you hit quads, are very different in terms of your prioritisation of exercises, well, not just exercises but reps and sets. So literally if you want to work glutes, you’re going to mix it up — heavy stuff and high volume work. If you want to work hamstrings, you need to go high volume. They’re 60 percent slow twitch, so you need to go high volume. High volume, I mean 12s, 15s, 18 reps. And it might only be 65, 70 percent of your 1RM.

  Greg:       OK.

  Mac:        Whereas if you want hit quads, you’re talking, OK, well I’ve only got about 30 or 40 percent fast twitch, I’m still going to have to squat heavy, and unfortunately the best exercise for hitting quads is probably still squats. I’ve got to go heavy. I don’t need to do a ton of volume.

  And then it will vary. So, adductor magnus, longus brevis, and those type of muscles — roughly 50/50, maybe a little bit more, sort of 60 percent slow twitch. Your gastrocs, so your calf, the calf, the lateral gastroc, it’s about 50/50, but interestingly, soleus is about 85 percent slow. So high volume for soleus.

  How do you hit soleus versus gastroc?

  Greg:       That’s a good question.

  Mac:        Easy. So, because gastroc is biarticular…

  If you want to take gastrocnemius out of the exercise and work as soleus, which sits underneath the gastroc, bend your knee.

  Greg:       OK.

  Mac:        So, seated calf rowers aren’t for your gastroc, they’re for soleus, and they’re high rep. So you don’t need to put 18 plates on a seated calf raise. You need to do 20 reps. That’s pretty much how you do it. You can mix it up pretty considerably around that.

  Again, we’ll recognise the work that Brad Contreras, the glute guy, may have done a PhD on it, I think, made an industry out of training glutes. I don’t think he claims that he invented the thrust, I hope not. I think he claims to have brought it to the fitness industry, and that’s cool.

  There’s a couple of different types of thrusts you can do. There’s thrusts off a bench. There’s thrusts on the floor. Yeah, you can modify that pretty significantly how you want to do it. Hip thrusting, absolutely recruits your glute max. No question. Right? And then every, mainly girl who’s done that will agree to it. And that’s probably most people’s go-to.

  You got about 300 percent increase in glute max recruitment from a thrust off a bench than a squat.

  Greg:       300 percent?

  Mac:        Yeah, it’s pretty big. That’s based on Contreras’s research. Quad-wise, it’s probably comparable, but for glutes you’ll get a much larger recruitment. So if you do a hip thrust off the floor though, you’ll get a larger amount of hamstring versus glute, for that type of movement. So even there’s an example of just manipulating, shift up your thrust, and you can hit more glute or more hamstring. And then there, you can put your feet close together or put them a little bit wider apart, you can recruit a little bit more adductor, things like that.

  Reverse hypers are a really good exercise for developing glute. So reverse hyper is where you would — there are machines, but it’s effectively where you put your torso on a bench, keep your legs straight and bring the leg up to do like a back extension, only your back doesn’t move, your legs move.

  People can google what a reverse hyper is. Reverse hyper will give you a comparable glute and max glute activation and hamstrings to a thrust. So there’s a few different things you can do there.

  Greg:       OK.

  Mac:        Deadlift-wise, much larger amount of hamstrings versus all the other lifts. So if you want to hit your hammies, you still got to dead lift — inconvenient truth of life — and then even within deadlifting, variations with Romanian deadlifts. Romanians will give you about 300 or 400 percent more adductor than they will a thrust. If you want to bring your adductors in — and for total leg development, you need to develop your adductors. They’re the inside of your leg muscles. There’s a few different things you can do to manipulate that. Same with back extensions. They’re comparable with things like deadlifts, thrusts for hamstrings, much more so than glutes.

  A lot of people asked me about specificity. Do I need to squat all the way to the floor or can I just do half squats? If you look at the research in terms of recruitment profiles based on EMG, electromyography, so we can measure the electrical activity in the muscles — and that’s how we do these — there’s not a lot of difference.

  Greg:       That right?

  Mac:        Yeah.

  The problem is that most people say they’re doing a half squat, but they’re only doing like a quarter squat. You’ve still got to go to about 90 degrees of knee flexion. And you will recruit — it’s a little bit different — but roughly the same amount of quadricep, versus going all the way to the bottom of the floor. So you don’t really need to do it.

  The other one that’s really good exercise for your glutes is a high bench step. But it’s got to be high, almost so high that you need someone to help you get up there. Because it puts you into hip flexion position, so you’ve got a large amount of gluteal stretch effectively happening, and then you step through onto the bench and you recruit your glutes. If you have priorities his glutes, then you need a bit of everything.

  And a lot of people are doing that in terms of the exercise selection to isolate those. If you just want to concentrate on quads, then you still have to stay with the squats. You don’t need to do a hell of a lot of deadlifting if you just want to develop your quads, and less so on the thrust as well. And hammies, if your priority is hamstrings, and I just started this chat off by saying that it is for a lot of competitors now, then you got to deadlift, and mix them in with your Romanians, and you should get good adaptation of the back of it.

  Greg:       Sweet.

  OK, Dr Mac, so I see people doing these Nordics on the floor versus using the pull down seat. What’s the best way?

  Mac:        Either can be effective. Though, like I said before, there���s a fair risk of injury with it. So if you’re doing them on the floor and you’re kneeling on the floor and someone’s holding your feet, what’s the worst case scenario? Well, the idea is that you’re able to literally relax and fall forward and you can catch yourself with your hands. So, safety factor, high. If you’re doing it turned around — and for the listeners who haven’t tried this, and I’m not recommending you do — so you take a pull down machine that has a seat, and a pad for your, supposed to be for your thighs, turn around on it, kneel on it, and tuck your heels underneath the pad. That’s what you’re talking about there. Then let you torso go forward. The default is that when you have to release, you to got to fall all the way to the floor, so no where near as safe — would be the comment I would make to you.

  And I see a lot of people doing these, and they’re only moving maybe 10, 15 degrees. They’re sort of just swaying. You’re wasting your time. In terms of bang for your buck, and in terms of being able to recruit hamstrings, one of the keys is having a full range of movement. So a little partial active contraction and relax is not really achieving much at all in terms of muscle adaptation. And anatomically, if you think about the hamstrings, they’re predisposed to injury, perhaps more so than any other muscle in the body. They are biarticular in nature. When you run or when you are doing any sort of activity, they’re involved with hip flexion. Hip flexion, during knee extension, you get this concentric contraction with a large amount of lengthening, so you get concurrent hip flexion and knee extension.

  The most common time people tear their hamstrings when they’re running, it’s during terminal swing phase. Is as your foot comes down to the ground and you’re extending at the knee, and you are extending at the hip. So you’re getting pulled proximally, the pelvis area, and distally, down to the attachment or the tibia, they’re both getting pulled in another direction. So you’re trying to slow down the knee and drive your leg down to the floor. So that’s where your hamstrings really compromise.

  The other thing which is kind of interesting with the hamstring is that we have a long head of our bicep femoris, and we have a short head. So this is effectively, like your biceps in your arm, there’s a long head and a short head. So it’s the same in your biceps femoris, so the back of your leg. So we’re talking about the hamstrings.

  The interesting thing with respect to injury and probably more so, rehab, with hammie injuries that the long head and the short head are innervated by two different nerve branches. Innervation means it’s the nerve supply. The long head is innervated by what’s called the tibial portion of the sciatic nerve. Most people have heard of the sciatic nerve. Whereas the short head is innervated by the common peroneal branch. So you’ve got two power supplies to one muscle. So if you get any sort of de-synchronised propagation of action potential, so if the stimulus to that muscle is compromised in any way — and there’s lots of ways that it can be compromised — then you get a de-synchronised muscle contraction and increased propensity for injury. And that’s really common with rehab. That’s why a lot of people tear their hammies within the first three weeks of return to sport. Because they have this de-synchronized innervation to the muscle. And it’s because of that dual innervation that is a big factor.

  The other thing, way back at the start of this, I was talking about myofibrils and fascicles. Fascicles — the short head of the bicep femoris has relatively longer fascicles than the long head. So fascicle length is a player in this as well. When you have different types of fascicle length, we have again, potentially a predisposition for injury. The short head also has a smaller, what we call a physiological cross sectional area. Physiological cross sectional area, to break it down, refers to the number of little muscle fibers that are attached on to the tendon. When they’re on an angle, say at 45 degrees, you can pack many, many more fibers onto that tendon, versus just if they square on, you won’t get as many. So it’s anatomical, versus physiological cross sectional area, because it’s got a smaller physiological cross sectional area and longer fascicles, that’s a more troublesome scenario from a loading perspective than if it’s got larger physiological cross sectional area and shorter fascicles. But which is fairly complicated, but there’ll be people in the audience who know exactly what I’m talking about.

  Greg:       So from a ham performance perspective in elite sport, are you guys looking at this when you’re signing athletes?

  Mac:        Not when you’re signing. No. Because you won’t know that. I wouldn’t have thought.

  So, I’ve actually got a PhD student who — we might get him on here, he’s a sports physiotherapist and we might get him on here and talk about it — but looking at fascicle length and innervation characteristics in the bicep femoris.

  People will want to debate this, but a large number of the injuries are in the proximal tendon of the long head of the bicep femoris. That’s right up underneath the gluteal fold under your butt, and that’s where most people tear their hamstrings.

  To the haters out there — not every hamstring injury is there, but that’s where a lot of them are. Right? Man, I get a lot of people just want to bring the hate. But let me tell you…

  Greg:       It’s a broadcast, it’s not about the hate.

  Mac:        I know. It’s not a lecture. Right? Although it sounds like that sometimes.

  There’s some work being done by a guy, by Dave O. Power, that was done quite a few years ago now. And again, recognising that research around alterable and un-alterable risk factors– there’s some things in life you can’t do anything about that really increase your risk of hamstring injury. One is your age. And we know that. And it starts early. Over 24 years of age, we see an increase in risk for every year of age of round about 1.3 to 1.8 times.

  Greg:       Is that right?

  Mac:        Yeah.

  It’s pretty big. The biggest indicator of risk for injury is a previous injury. So if you’ve torn your hamstring… Let’s say you tear your hamstring in 2018, you’ve got to eleven times likelihood of injuring it again next year. It’s huge.

  Greg:       Wow.

  Mac:        And there’s other issues around muscle fibre distribution, so whether or not people have a propensity for type 2, type 2X, top 2As, type 1s. There’s a bit of ethnicity around that as well. It’s a bit of an unsubstantiated landscape research-wise.

  There are some things we can change though, that are indicative. One is strength and balances. And we know that quadricep, hamstring, strength ratios that are not particularly great — only sort of point-five, point-six — will see an increased risk. So the closer that strength profile between your quad and your hammie, the closer that is, the less risk.

  We’ve been doing force-power profiling in athletes for decades. I listen to a lot of podcasts. A lot of people talking about it like it’s new. But when you think of thing called a Reactive Strength Index, and RSI, and we can measure the ratio of your force capabilities, and your power capabilities with things like jumping and so forth. So you can profile athletes whether they are force-dominant or a power-dominant athlete, and then you train them in different ways.

  So, your force-dominant athlete, they might be the person that are doing the heavy sled pushes. The power-dominant athlete is the one that’s got a lighter sled, who’s flying, doing high acceleration work.

  The other one is asymmetry. So it matters. If your left one is stuffed and your right one is good, that’s a problem. That’ll play havoc with your mechanics, your gait mechanics, your running mechanics. So it doesn’t have to be great. The research tells us, as little as eight percent variation in strength characteristics between your left hamstring and your right hamstring leads to an increased risk. Fairly subtle issue.

  Same with range of movement. If you’ve got one hamstring, you’ve got, for example, with more prominent perhaps with risk for calf injuries, but we look at a thing called “nedawol” or dorsiflexion range. And that’s where you bring your toes up towards your shin. So if you’ve got a remarkable variation between left and right, you’ve got a higher risk of injury. And that makes sense, right? If one you can hardly move and the other has got lots of flexibility, then like I said way that can have very first podcast, nothing happens in isolation, there’s a cause and effect. If you’ve got really poor range in your left ankle, then your knee cops it, and your knee is not built it the carry it, so then it goes to the hip, then it ends up into your lower back, into your shoulder, and next thing you know you get neck pain. So there’s lots of things going on there, and that happens with postsurgical people when they’ve been in a boot for a long time. They loose range. Getting that range back is really important. So that increases risk of injury across the board.

  So there’s my little rant.

  The other one, while we’re talking about exercises and rants is probably my other bugbear, which is bench press technique.

  Greg:       We need to music for your bugbears. I should just drop the music as it comes on.

  Mac:        It should just come in.

  Bench press — this is the other thing I see a lot in social media, is different technique. And I’m not going to rave on about this one.

  But when it comes to the bench press — I want to know how you bench press. Do you bench press?

  Greg:       Oh, not a helluva lot, mate, I’m all functional training these days.

  Mac:        Oh. Functional.

  Greg:       I know you love that word. On my journey.

  Mac:        Functional training.

  Greg:       We don’t like that much to bench press to be honest.

  Mac:        My only bugbear with functional, is people think just because you take a barbell out of it, it’s functional. Swinging a kettlebell, how many times a day you’re going to throw a rope on the floor? So you can work and do rope slams? That’s what I mean. How functional is a rope slam. I’m not sure, alright. That’s my question. I don’t know.

  Greg:       That’s a good question.

  Mac:        So how functional is slamming a medicine ball into the floor. Really. Versus some other exercise? I mean, does it help you get out of a chair? Any more than a squat?

  Greg:       No. I think you’re right.

  Mac:        People say… I say, well, everyone says, well it’s functional this and it’s functional that. And I’m like, tell me what’s functional about, yeah, like a rope slam? I don’t know what’s functional about that. Someone maybe can tell me.

  Greg:       I normally think about people when I’m doing it. So it serves a different purpose.

  Mac:        Well, fair enough.

  I mean, if you work in a labor-intensive job and you’re swinging on the end of a shovel or an ax all day — hundred percent. But that’s probably the last thing you want to do — at the end of the day.

  I was going to talk about bench press. Because there’s a couple of different types of bench we see. We see the strong man type bench press, which is the huge arch of the back — and I’m getting into some water here that we people’s ears prick because it’s a pretty contentious, that where people get their feet right up under their bum…

  Greg:       You’re not a fan of that. I know you’re not a fan.

  Mac:        No. Well I am if you’re a power lifter.

  Greg:       Oh, for power lifting…

  Mac:        This is what the whole crux of this talk is about. Keep the main thing the main thing. Right?

  If you want to get strong and it’s all about load and angle resistance arm, then that’s how you bench, right? That’s why power lifters bench that way.

  But if you want to recruit pec major, then that’s not how you bench. If you want to recruit pec major — and again, don’t shoot me, shoot Brad Contraras, because Brad’s the dude that’s pumping this research out; he calls it a guillotine bench press; but it’s a standard bench press with your feet on the floor, your bum on the bench, your back on the bench, your scapula on the bench, and you do your bench press, right? The traditional — what I would call a traditional bench press. Irrefutably, the EMG research that’s been done tells us if you want to recruit pec major, you do guillotine benchpress, you don’t do the big arch of the back, you know, power lifter type benchpress. That’s a very different way. And again, from a loading perspective with muscle fiber type distribution, again based on the research of the ’70s, and I know that was a long time ago, but human evolution hasn’t changed that much.

  Fibre types, I’m talking about — your pec major is about 60 percent fast twitch and about 40 percent slow. There should be a tendency for heavier lifting in your bench, if you flat bench.

  Deltoid, front of your shoulder, for those that aren’t up with their anatomy — so for your shoulder press, your dumbbell raises and things like that, probably 55, 60 percent slow twitch, maybe 40, 45 percent fast twitch. So it’s more of a volume based training. You hit more volume for your delts.

  And for every muscle we’ve got a fair idea. Biceps is about 50/50. You go to get heavy. You know, if you’re going to pick cherries, you’re never going to get big, right? So you go to lift something heavy eventually with your biceps as well.

  Triceps is much more, believe it or not, fast twitch, about 70 percent fast twitch. You go to get out of your comfort zone a little bit with triceps. Everything. Erector spinae, so, longissimus thoracis all of those, about 55 percent slow twitch. Things like — everything. Everything has a muscle fibre type distribution. Your abs are about 45 percent slow, about 55 percent fast. If you want to hit abs, just don’t do a thousand sit ups, just do it, put it under some, get some freight, get under a bar, or do something.

  You know, that’s interesting, in terms of what we know about fiber typing and exercise selection, which I’ve talked about, and also the prescription or the programming of the exercises around volume loads. Like I said, if it’s slow twitch, it’s high volume, it’s 12, 15, 18, 20 reps. if it’s fast twitch, it’s maybe as low as 3 reps, 4 reps, 5 reps, 6 reps, up to 8 reps, something like that. And that’s how you train it. So, beauty of it is that you can mix it up quite nicely.

  And coming back to conversation. Then it’s about, well let’s select the exercises, let’s put them in an order. And in terms of the order, there’s been a lot of research done around, well what order should I do things in? Should you come in and do your bicep curls and then do you pull the downs? Well it depends. And there is a technique called prexhaustion, which you would be familiar with, where, for example — I can’t squat, I’ve had four shoulder reconstructions, I can’t get a bar on the back. But I can do a safety bar squat, like a front squat. So I’ll often prexhaust my quads by doing leg extensions, which is an isolation exercise. But for me, I can’t squat five plates a side any more, because I can’t hold onto it any more. It’s pretty hard to front squat five plates a side.

  Greg:       Yeah, it would be.

  Mac:        Fairly intense.

  Greg:       Did you try?

  Mac:        I don’t think I’ve ever tried that. No.

  So I do my leg extensions first. And it serves as a bit of a warmup. Blows out my quads, gets a heap of blood into my quads, and then all down and do my front squats or my safety squat or whatever it might be.

  But traditionally, and there’s been a lot of research around this, you do, from our total workload perspective and from a recruitment perspective, the recommendations are our compound movements. So are big, so your squats, your deadlifts, things like that, you do them first, early in the work out. Two reasons. You neurally, from a neuro perspective, you are fresh, so there’s no prexhaustion taking place. So from a neural perspective, the ability to recruit higher or auto motor units. And when I say higher auto motor units, I mean your type 2 fibres, fast twitch. You want to get them going. And we’ve already said, depending on what you’re trying to do, depending on the muscle type you need to, that’s a reasonable strategy, and to train those earlier.

  If you particularly want to really develop — if your biceps are really a weak point, then you want to train them early. Do them first if that’s what your weak point is.

  So there’s lots of ways we can play around with it. We’ll do some other podcasts on some other topics. But in terms of how I do programming…

  We could probably talk about that. We think about fibre type distribution. We think fundamentally around goal. Then we talk about, well, are there any limitations to what we can do in terms of exercises? Has the person had for shoulder recos? I’ve had two on each side, which makes it challenging. Or whatever else. You’ve had stuff happen — surgery, back and so forth. And then, let’s identify what the objective is. If it’s hypertrophy, if its strength. And then let’s dial in the repetition range and the loading according to that. Put them in an order so that I’m gonna get my best bang for my buck. I’m going to do my big stuff first. I’m going to deadlift early, and do my Romanians. Things like that. Depends what I want to do.

  And so then I’ll do a few other things. And this thing I picked up about a decade ago. And I won’t get into it today. And I’ve seen Charles Poliquin do this a lot. Credit to Charles Poliquin on that around what he does with neuro transmitted profiling. And there’s some good stuff we can do. And you and I have talked about this before. And there’s a test. We can just call it Braverman. It’s been around for quite a long time. I actually got onto it through some military context, probably a decade ago.

  But we can look at not only whether or not someone has a… We get a profile, whether it’s a dopamine profile or acetylcholine, or gaba, whatever, but we can identify inadequacies there as well, so we can modify our training there. So dopamine dominant — I’m a dopamine dominant sort of person. You need high intensity. I could go in and do lots of reps and I feel like I haven’t done anything. I need to get under a bar and lift something heavy. Your acetylcholine people mixed-method type thing, I find them pretty easy to work with.

  So there are a whole lot of ways that we can manipulate and modify what we’re trying to do from a training perspective, which is great, because we got variation.

  You want to be asking your trainer. Well, not exactly those. But you want to be asking them, OK, I want to develop my glutes. We’ve already said — the glutes are important for physique competition, particularly in females, already said the hammies are the new glutes. That presents some challenges, because is biarticulate.

  Greg:       Sounds like a tee shirt.

  Mac:        What’s that.

  Greg:       Hammies are the new glutes.

  Mac:        Hammies are the new glutes. Well, maybe. I mean, I think it is, from a competitive perspective. What are you going to do? And how you going to do it?

  Greg:       That’s actually a good question. How are you going to do it?

  What are your top five exercises for glutes? Let’s go. Number one.

  Mac:        Oh, well, you’ve got to thrust. I will do both the different types of thrusts. So I would do the thrust from a bench.

  Greg:       Number one.

  Mac:        Yep. You thrust from the floor.

  Greg:       Number two.

  Mac:        That’s probably two,

  Actually, you want exercise that is pretty good… Well, your reverse hyper has to be in there. That’s probably your third.

  Glute bridges, as opposed to your thrusts, a little bit of a variation on that.

  Greg:       Number four.

  Mac:        Yeah, probably four.

  And then there’s an exercise that I’ve never been a fan of, but the EMG data is supportive of it. I said Romanian deadlifts — is, you see people doing it on a cable pull through. I don’t really like them. I like high box step ups, probably number five, in terms of your go-tos for your glutes.

  You can rip into them quite nicely. And doesn’t mean you do every one of those every workout. It means you mix it up. Anyone who’s worked with me knows that I like reverse pyramids in terms of my loading. My philosophy’s always — heavy set, first set. We come in, we do our warmup and then if I’m trying to get strong, if you want to get strong, then I want to lift. And that might take four or five sets. I’m also an advocate of warming up with whatever it is I’m about to do. That means, if I’m in a bench, I’m going to warm up on a bench. I’m not going to grab a two-kilo dumbbell and do some silly little wave my arms in the air and convince myself I’m recruiting superspinatus and infraspinatus. You know, I’m talking about?

  Greg:       Oh, I’ve seen you in the gym. Yep.

  Mac:        Yeah. Warmup specificity, as much as exercise specificity, and then throw some freight on the bar and get underneath it. That’s my philosophy. And you might do six or eight.

  And then if you’ve done that properly, then you can drop the load a little bit, by 5 percent, 10 percent, do your next set, and you get the same reps out, and then your next set will be a 5 or 10 percent drop on that, do your next set. So you still meet your volume requirement, and you’re meeting your intensity requirements.

  Or, then, ascending sets is where you do, you know, go the other way, and by the time you’re on your fifth set, you’ve already done four sets and you’re exhausted and you’re trying to lift your heaviest weight. Defeats the purpose. Right?

  Greg:       Makes sense.

  Mac:        Yeah. You play around with that. That’s my thing. And compound exercises ahead of isolation. It’s a given.

  Greg:       So we’ve done top five glute. What’s your top five hammie?

  Mac:        Top five hammie. Do you have a top five hammie?

  Greg:       Me personally?

  Mac:        Yeah.

  Greg:       No, mate. I’m asking you. You’re the doctor.

  Mac:        No. That’s OK.

  Hamstrings-wise, deadlift, and deadlift variations — traditional deadlift, Romanian deadlift. So one and two, probably, dead and Romanian.

  The other one would be a back extension. So you can work a bit more hamstring on your back extension type movements. It depends a lot on what you’re trying to do, but there is nothing wrong with doing your traditional hamstring curl. You’re still going to recruit hamstring. Right? So there’s no reason why you can’t do that. They’re probably the main go-tos for your hammies.

  Greg:       That was only four. Wasn’t it?

  Mac:        Yeah. Well, throw in whatever you like. You can do a single leg bridge. You get a fair bit of hamstring with that. So you know what a bridge is? Foot ups on the bench. Yeah. OK.

  So single leg bridges work pretty well. Bent knee bridges, loaded, with a band, mix it up a little bit.

  Greg:       So the band’s OK now?

  Mac:        No, no. I’m talking resistance band. Not talking the band that you put around your knees. I’m talking the resistance bands that you wrap around the bar, not around your body. Two different bands.

  Greg:       Yeah.

  Mac:        Yeah. Good. I’m a big fan of the resistance band. Less of a fan of the other band.

  Greg:       Yes.

  Mac:        And people will want to shoot me. And hopefully people will still listen to his podcast after that because they’re very popular.

  Greg:       If we could chuck in some freebies in from a man who’s done 14 years of study. We might as well throw quads in there as well.

  Mac:        Well, you know, if you’re going to train quads, you’ve got to squat. Right?

  That’s pretty much the story of life.

  Greg:       You’ve said that before, yes.

  Mac:        So I would do your barbell squat. You can do front squat.

  Greg:       Two, squats. Yep.

  Mac:        I actually advocated, for athletic populations, that they don’t go very deep. They just do their half squat. And even for some populations they just do quarters.

  So if you’re really explosive — you NRL guys, they don’t have to squat to the floor. There’s no reason in the world.

  They’re probably the main. There’s only three.

  Greg:       There’s two.

  Mac:        For quads? Yeah.

  Greg:       Five. We promised five.

  Mac:        They’re probably your go-tos. You can still get an element of… Although for guys, I wouldn’t get them to thrust, just on principle, but you can get some of that with some of the movements there.

  Hipflexion type movements. Anything like that will work pretty well for your quads. Leg press — nothing wrong with that. Move around your feet. It depends on what equipment you’ve got available to you, but there are some really good squat machines.

  I like safety squats, you know, with the safety bar. Front squats, I’m a big fan of front squats. Sumos — single leg variations on that. Good option.

  Hack squats. Turn around the other way, and do your hack squat in reverse would be my recommendation. They’re probably your go-tos for that sort of thing. And get some volume in.

  So if you want to develop muscle mass, I think people dramatically undertrain. You’ve got to do — and people won’t probably like this — but you’ve got to probably do 15, 16, 18 reps per body part, sorry, per body part. Not per exercise. That’s just four exercises with four sets, there’s your 16 sets. Right? Not that hard to do. And you can do that with drop sets, super sets, and all that sort of stuff. Compounds stuff. There’s probably a podcast around terminology there with regard to giant sets and supersets, and push-pull options and…

  Greg:       Not a bad idea actually.

  Mac:        Yeah, so there’s a few things you can do.

  Greg:       So mate, can we drop a little top five concept at the bottom of this podcast for people will have a look at it?

  Mac:        Yeah, for sure.

  And I think you just mix it up. A lot of girls particularly are hitting legs four times a week.

  Greg:       How many?

  Mac:        Four.

  I know lots of girls competing in physique comps hitting their legs four times a week, minimum three.

  I would just be saying to them, you’ve got to mix it up. So what I would do in that scenario, if I’m going to hit legs three times a week, and I needed to develop everything, then I will give a prioritisation to whatever part. Like, if you want to want to work on glute, quad and hammie, and you’re training legs three times a week, which is what a lot of people are doing. So for me, I would go, Monday’s a glute day. I would lead off with my glute exercise, I probably did two, like, thrusts, and those sorts of movements early on. Get some load in there. And then it might be only a couple of exercises on quad, and a couple of exercises on hammie. You’re not there all day. But you’d still satisfy your volume loading. So it might be prioritisations on glutes. So let’s get our 16 sets of glutes. Then let’s do… It might only be eight sets of quads, or whatever it might be, and there might only be eight sets of hammies. Then you come in on the… You’ve had your glutes on Monday. I will do quad on Wednesday, and then I would do it the other way around. First couple of exercises is going to be quads, followed up by hammie, followed up what glute. So whatever you do first is your prioritization. Whatever you last is going to be stuffed, fatigued, cooked. And then on the Friday it’s hammie-dominant day, so I’d come in, I’ll hit my hammies early. Do the hammies first, followed by glute, followed by quad. So everything has had an opportunity to be first, second and third over your week. And then you pick your exercises, load up your volumes, and you’re in good shape. And then if you’re training the other days, you would do the rest of the — your chest and you delts, and your arms and your back on the other days. So you might do a chest and arms on a Tuesday. You might do your back and something else on the Thursday. And Saturday might be your wrap up day. You might do a full body circuit. There’s a heap of things you can do.

  That’s what I would do around prioritisation, of a muscle groups. Rather than come in and hit glutes first every day. Then something else is going to lack. So it’s going to be… You might still say, well, I’m still training my quads every day, but I’m doing them last. You’re not going to get the adaptation that you would get if you put them first. And you might mix that up a little bit, where glutes are first on two of those days, depending on what you need, and that’s how we do it.

  Greg:       Nice.

  Mac:        Pretty simple.

  Greg:       well that’s been a big podcast, mate. Thanks for that.

  Mac:        Easy. Keep the main thing the main thing.

  Greg:       Exactly. BodyScience.com.au/podcast to grab those notes, download those top five tips, grab those research papers we mentioned on the way through. Enjoy.

  Mac:        Awesome.

Episode 7: Muscle MasterClass syndicated from http://www.bodyscience.com.au/

[das-leben-nach-dem-tod]

Straightforward Methods Of Iso Xp Probiotic Protein Around The Uk

Fast Methods Of New Zealand Whey Protein Canada Explained

The product was officially launched at the end of January 2017 with momentum already built from social media presence. “Satisfied customers are posting pics of them eating Source Bars and giving them rave reviews,”​ the spokesperson said, adding that new fans have shared the product on their social media. There are five varieties of the bars: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Chunky Peanut Butter, Cookies and Cream, Birthday Cake, and Snickerdoodle, on sale online and at select retailers around the nation. As sports nutrition increasingly becomes mainstream ​, gone are the days of hyper-gendered or sporty branding in terms of package design, brand name, and marketing typologies. The branding strategy Source Bar is using embraces minimalism, an effort to capture the product’s ‘clean label.’ “We wanted to create something that was minimal, sleek and stylish. We wanted to create a look that wasn't too loud or flowery, but rather as clean as the product itself,”​ the spokesperson said. “Many bars out there can be viewed as ‘candy bars in disguise,’”​ the spokesperson added. “We use a New Zealand grass-fed whey protein that is RBST free as our primary protein source.”​ Every bar packs 20g of protein with only 2g to 4g of sugar, and based on the ingredients list on their Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough variety, sweetness comes from stevia. A case for grass-fed whey versus plant protein​ America’s obsession with protein continues—Euromonitor data revealed that sales of sports protein bars (defining bars with more than 20g of protein per serving) increased from $418.6 million in 2015 to $438.3 million in 2016, a 4.7% increase. And though there’s limited science to back up the superiority ​ of nutrition derived from grass-fed cow products, the call-out ‘grass-fed’ is gaining momentum among consumers, especially for dairy and dairy-derived products, according to a report ​ by investment banking form Silverwood Partners. Though plant-based proteins are also gaining traction, the spokesperson said that the market is more niche. “We’re here to cater to the demands of the mass market,” ​the spokesperson said.

For the original version including any supplementary images or video, visit https://www.nutraingredients-usa.com/Article/2017/03/01/Protein-bars-by-Sourcewell-Nutrition-feature-grass-fed-whey

Great Ways To Increase Your Fitness Level

When you start feeling better, getting sick less, and losing weight you will see why fitness is so important. A lot of people do not know what you have to do to start out. The tips provided below will assist you in beginning your quest to proper fitness. Do not lift weights for more than an hour. On top of that, your muscles start to deteriorate after about an hour of work. Be sure to keep your weight workouts under 60 minutes. Strong thighs are important for preventing knee injury. One of the most common sports injuries is a torn ligament behind the kneecap. Making your hamstrings and quads stronger protects you knees from those kinds of injuries. Leg curls and extensions are great for this. Write down the exercises you do every day. Keep track of all the workouts you do. Do not forget any additional exercise that you perform. See how much you walk every day with a pedometer. Having a written record will help you track your progress as you work towards your goal. If you want to jump start your workout, try kickboxing. No one tries a few rounds of kickboxing without working up a serious sweat and feeling like they've really gotten a great workout. Kickboxing can burn a tremendous amount of calories, and your strength will increase a lot as well. Do not neglect weekends to workout. Although, it is easy to think of weekends as free time, it is not wise to interrupt your established workout routine. You need to keep your goals in mind 24/7. Skipping the weekend or, worse, binging all weekend, just erases all the work you did all week. Avoid referring to your fitness program as working out or exercising. These labels and names can drain away your motivation just by hearing them. Instead, use words such as jogging, cycling or running. Between sets in your routine, stretch out the muscles being worked on. Stretch for around 20 to 30 seconds. Stretching has been proven to play a role in the development of muscle strength in men. Stretching has the added benefit of reducing the likelihood of injury. Box squats make your quadriceps gain bulk. You can get more power and better form for regular squats by doing some box squats. The only equipment you require is a box that you can position behind you. Squat like normal, but pause before sitting on the box. Do you want to increase your endurance and your speed? Start training like they do in Kenya. The Kenyan way of training is to start off slow for approximately a third of the run. Gradually increase the pace as you progress through your run. As you reach the middle third of your run, you should have reached your normal pace. When you reach the final third of your run, your speed should be your fastest pace. If you keep doing this kind of run regularly, it will significantly improve your speed and stamina. Do your counting in reverse. Instead of counting upwards from zero, try counting down from your chosen number of reps. Your workout will seem shorter when you think in terms of smaller steps. Telling yourself you only have so many more is much more motivating. When you are trying to start a fitness routine, try walking your dog. Your pooch will love going for walks with you and will make a great exercise companion. Start out simple. A block or two is good at first and you can add onto that as time passes. Who knew owning a dog had fitness benefits? We said before there are a lot of ways to stay healthy and look great when you getting fit. Beginning your fitness journey doesn't have to be a miserable experience. Put these ideas into play in your lifestyle, and you will quickly notice your health improving.

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Let me put myself together so at least I can look presentable, so I can look in a way that they would want to deal with me,” said the mother of one. “If they’re not aware of the disease, the first thing they see is ‘oh it’s a black person, and oh they just want drugs.’ That’s the main thing that’s been going on for decades.” Experts in Toronto say Thompson’s experiences aren’t rare, similar experiences have been reported in the U.S. and in Canada, including in a recent provincial publication. The Clinical Handbook for Sickle Cell Disease Vaso-occlusive Crisis was released by the Provincial Council for Maternal and Child Health, along with the Ministry of Health and Long-Term Care back in December. The report detailed the challenges faced by SCD patients when seeking medical treatment at hospitals. “Clinicians and administrators recognize that racism towards patients with SCD does exist and must be addressed,” the report read. The handbook also featured a series of comments from focus groups that detailed people’s experiences. They touched on everything from long-wait times to provider knowledge and attitudes, which was identified as one of the barriers to care. “My brother was 33 years old when he went to the ER with a crisis, they saw a black male and told him he was looking for drugs not having a crisis. Despite the comment they gave him 40 dilaudid and sent him home,” one comment read. “My aunt called in the morning and told me not to come. They found him dead.” Public Health specialist Dr. Onye Nnorom said there’s a standard of care for sickle cell patients to be treated within 30 minutes of arriving to the emergency department, and delays in treatments can have severe consequences on health.

For the original version including any supplementary images or video, visit http://toronto.citynews.ca/2018/04/23/healthcare-canada-equality/

Vitamin Tips, Tricks And Techniques You Need

Are you familiar with your own body and its dietary needs? Most people don't. Your body needs many minerals Whey Protein and nutrients everyday and knowing their impact is important. You must have a good working knowledge of how nutrients affect your physical well-being. You have to know how your supplements interact to ensure they're being absorbed adequately. For example, calcium can make it harder for your body to absorb iron. Additionally, you should not wash down your iron pill with a glass of milk or take an antacid medication within half an hour of taking iron. Make sure you are eating a diet that is healthy and balanced to ensure it includes adequate vitamins and minerals. It is recommended that you eat at least five servings of vegetables and fruit daily. If you are unable to do this, vitamin and mineral supplements are a good idea. Milk and sun exposure are two great ways for you to get vitamin D. If you don't like milk or live in a cloudy climate, get yourself a vitamin D supplement. This vitamin can help protect bones and keep them strong. Get healthier by adding minerals and vitamins to your daily diet. Surely it is better to avoid ill health and feel good than to waste your hard earned dollars on a doctor. We always try to be healthy, but sometimes it's just not in our budget. Adding supplements to your diet helps to counteract the harmful effects of fats, preservatives, and other harmful substances. Supplements for minerals and vitamins are highly important these days. Processed foods at the store often won't give you nutrients you need. A great multivitamin can help you start the day off right. It's a good idea to get ample amounts of manganese. This helps bones grow and heal. It also helps wounds heal. It also can boost how well your body metabolizes protein, carbs, and cholesterol. Manganese is in whole grains, beans, almonds and some teas. You can find manganese supplements on the Internet or in stores where vitamins are sold. Calcium carbonate for dental and bone health needs to be taken along with food. Do not take this vitamin with an empty stomach as it will not digest right. If you do, it is unable to get absorbed. Eat steamed or raw vegetables. Some vitamins become depleted when the foods are cooked. Steam your veggies - that way you won't lose your vitamins. A veggie that has been flash-frozen will have more vitamins as long as it has not been cooked for too long. Are you aware that deficiencies in vitamin D, magnesium or even omega-3 fatty acids can result in depression? Omega-3 is something that is popular, and there are a lot of good reason as to why. This promotes a healthy brain and body. We also have to remember that magnesium is a stress reliever. Do not cook your vegetables. Many cooking methods actually leach nutrients from vegetables. Steaming vegetables will increase the heat without eliminating the nutrients. Vegetables that have been flash frozen contain high levels of vitamins as well as long as you do not cook them too long. Ask your doctor to recommend a good supplement for you. You can check credible online sources to learn which vitamin brands are real and which fail to pass muster. You must do your own solid research as the Food and Drug Administration does not regulate supplements. We hope this article has left you with a better idea of the influence you have over your health. It is hoped you can see by the tips you read here that maintaining a healthy balance for your body is important. You should have a much better idea about all the things you can do which can lead to a healthier lifestyle for you.

[eacci]

Library of Things – a space where you can come to borrow useful items and learn how to use them @The Wasted City book

The Wasted City book is a collection of work that combines compelling insights on circularity by external professionals, experts and thinkers with a case-based approach. The latter is pursued by various specialised individuals working directly with CITIES’ international team, casting light on inspiring initiatives that are breaking the linear mould. In total, 16 cases are explored; spanning scales, from the hyper-local to the regional, sectors including food, energy and material waste while focusing on sharing, commodity brokerage and empowerment. As there is no ‘one-size’ solution to make a city circular, the presented cases demonstrate the heterogeneity of approaches, all of which are critical to further the development of circular cities. Let us introduce you one of them - the Library of Things – an innovative space for sharing in London. Alex Thibadoux, our independent researcher went to the Library to get to know them closer, read their story below.

©LIBRARY OF THINGS

CITIES Foundation: Can you tell what you do at Library of Things?

Sophia Wyatt: There are three of us that run Library of Things as a core team, and then we have a team of librarians to help bring it to life. My role at Library of Things is more along the design and tech. I lead on those things. It was quite a busy period going into launch. So it was design, everything from what is the service design, what is the experience when people come into a Library of Things to what does our brand look like and our space look like? And then we have built with a developer based in Bristol, UK a platform that works as an asset management system and a CRM (Customer Relationship Management) system called Lend Engine. I also host the space, more or less every week to keep understanding how people are using it, what people like, don’t like, that kind of thing.

How did it all start?

 A couple of years ago, my colleagues, Emma Shaw, Rebecca Trevalyan and there was also a third person involved called James. The idea kind of came from Leila in Berlin and the Toronto Tool Library in Toronto. There was a desire to make it work in the UK, which is a very different market with very different preconceptions about what it might mean to borrow something. It had to kind of almost be designed from scratch. There wasn’t a template to do this. We did a pilot in the same area that we are in now, and because the property market in London is so crazy, it took us about 18 months to then find a permanent spot. But none of us do this full-time yet. In that 18 months, it was a side project that we would do in the evenings and the weekends. The first step was to register as a company, as a nonprofit, and then the next step was to raise money. It wasn’t 18 months of sitting around, it was 18 months of doing a crowd funding campaign, and working out where it was possible – we needed a space that was little to no rent in order to prove our concept in a more solid way. In the end we decided, let’s just do this, let’s get some shipping containers and build exactly what we want. We wanted to be able to try out ideas, and when you are squatting in someone else’s space, it is quite hard to really have that control. We wanted to be able to test things out properly. We then launched in July of this year, so we have been running and operating for about four months or so

©LIBRARY OF THINGS

Do you have any partners right now or any collaborators that you are working with?

In what sense? Do you mean financially? We don’t operate in isolation at all, we have quite a few organizations that we are connected to. I think that is a key learning from our experience – when you have a social enterprise on a small scale and you want to grow, you ultimately have to find someone, whether that be an organization or a benevolent person who is able to give you the space and time to do that. And on this site that we are on, the car park that we have got our shipping containers on, it is attached to something called Community Shop. Community Shop is a social supermarket, they get surplus food from big supermarkets. And they sell it at a 70% discount rate to people who receive some form of government support. And they also provide workshops and mentor schemes to those people that are members of their shop. So there is that, and next door to us is the recycling center for Lambeth, one of the main recycling centers for Lambeth. So there is a little ecosystem, which makes sense to people, because we are not on a high street right now. It needs to not be a random place. And then there is another organization that we are connected with called Civic, which is, the way describe it. . . have you heard of the Impact Hub Network? There are 88 of them around the world, and they are essentially little community hubs for social entrepreneurs. Civic is trying to create hubs of social enterprises. So its dream would be to see a Library of Things working in a similar space to another social enterprise, so that there can be shared energy. You can be a greater draw for people to come. You can share resources. That kind of stuff. One of the main guys behind Civic was the founder of the Impact Hub Network. His name is Jonathan Robinson. We are connected in a larger framework with those two, and we were given a grant from the RSA at the beginning of this year, which has been amazing. I don’t know if you know what the RSA – it is the Royal Society of Arts. It is an organization in the UK. . . it is looking at solutions to modern day challenges basically. It is interested in the progression of society. They are the main three organizational partners. We also work with big brands for our stock, so far we’ve had items from big brands, like B&Q and Patagonia. I don’t know if you know B&Q. It is a DIY and gardening chain of shops.

Do you know what your financial structure and funding will be moving forward?

 It’s early days, but we realize that we are not going to get all of our money from one source. We have to be pretty diverse about how we remain financially viable. We will be developing our business model in the coming months, but borrowing does generate the majority of our income for now. We will be still looking for grants. It is quite normal in the first year to be looking at grants. We will be doing that, but like I say, we are going to be looking at quite a few ways to remain as financially sustainable as possible. The ultimate aim is for us to be a community owned business, with a share offer for the community.

As you are developing as an organization, how do you all meet to decide what to do and make self-assessments for moving forward?

At the moment, like I said before, there is a core team of three of us, so it is quite easy to make decisions. But like I say, we would like to become a community owned business and be involving the community as much as possible in decisions. We are 4 months old, really it has just been the three of us up until now.

How many members do you have in the library.

At four months in, we have nearly 500 people signed up wanting to be a member, and we have about 300 who have actually come in and verified their membership. As a community project, we want to meet people that are part of Library of Things. The aim is for this not to be an anonymous thing, and as we test out exactly how people interact with us, we ask people to come in. It is part of signing up basically, coming into the space.

What will you have in your catalogue? How do you decide what will be available?

The things fit broadly into six categories. I often talk about it as we have things for making and mending, we have things for exploring and experimenting and we have things for events. So the idea is that we have items that are practically useful, and we have to try out and see if it is for you. For example it might be sports gear, it might musical instruments, it might even be camping. And then the practically useful things are the drills, the sewing machines, the wheelbarrows. Events stuff include projectors, big speakers, etc.

What sectors of the economy do you think that you will influence the most with your library?

Retail hopefully. That is the biggest one. Our whole kind of reason for being is to make borrowing a better experience than buying. That is what we want to do. Retail is the most obvious. I don’t know, there might be something around travel. How we belong in spaces and belong in areas, but yeah, retail is the most obvious.

Are you looking to expand across the UK and beyond eventually?

 Yes. We had a lot of interest when we first opening up. It works two ways: we have had a lot of interest and we also think it would be an amazing thing to spread. But we are very aware that it can’t be us going out and setting these up. Logistically it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work on a community level. It has got to come from the community and they have to want it. What we have put together is a toolkit, and we are holding a boot camp so that people can come partner up. We can build a network basically. It will be more of a cooperative than a franchise. We just want people to be able to essentially borrow anything, anywhere. That is part of the world we want to see.

 Has there been anything that has prevented your growth so far? Any specific challenges?

Not yet, I think it is too early days to say what is really limited us. If we had a massive amount of money invested you know, but you can have that kind of thing too early. No, nothing really yet. We are at such an early stage that it is really a lot about learning.

Do you think there is anything that can help you become more mainstream with the idea of borrowing in general?

 Hmm, that is a good question. No, I think any idea like ours, like the concept that you need to spread, it has to take a bit of time. I don’t think these things can just be accelerated. They can’t just suddenly become popular. One of the main reasons we have a physical place, rather than it just be a digital thing, is that we believe that people have to experience something tangibly in order to be able to understand what it can do for them. It is a really interesting phenomenon, digital companies like Amazon and Google are inhabiting physical spaces now. If you really want to reach as many people as possible, it has to really be a physical space as well as digital. We want to be as successful as possible, and that means reaching people who would normally be very afraid or be very suspicious of novelty and like to stay in their safe zone. It takes a bit of time and be done in a physical space.

How do you get most of the items in your library? Are they donated by individuals or purchased?

I would say it is about 80% donations. We have had donations from big brands who are supportive of what we do to individuals. We try to be quite strict about what we can have donated, because we need the Things to be in as good of condition as possible so that people want to borrow it. It has to be a better experience than buying. So it has to be something that either people don’t mind. . . like a hammer, people don’t really mind if it is a £100 pound hammer or a £20 hammer. Price is the most important indicator of that, but you kind of get my point, there are some things it really matters with. And we do buy certain key items if we haven’t been able to source them from donations. I think we ended up buying a really great PA system.

©LIBRARY OF THINGS

Can you tell me how you see Library of Things in the future?

Well we would like to imagine Library of Things in all kinds of different contexts in different kinds of communities. In libraries, in post offices, in community centers, in all kinds of places like that. The ultimate vision for it is that anyone can borrow anything, almost anywhere. Library of Things is about more than just the things themselves. It is about the experiences and skills that people can have with these things. Not only do you get to borrow a drill, but we also give you the knowledge to use it as well if you have never used it before. That might enable you, or give you the confidence to go and do a bit of DIY, like put up some shelves, that you have never done before. It is those kind of things that we are looking to grow and to connect more members within communities together, so that they can help each other more. That is where we see ourselves.

  Subscribe to CITIES Foundation newsletter to hear more about our latest projects and our partners! Send and e-mail to communications@citiesfoundation.org and we will keep you updated.

[linen211-blog]

Life potpourri

Let’s say you’re trying to get in the best shape of your life for that upcoming beach vacation. linen You take a quick look at what the internet says is the tried and true method. Soon enough your browser is filled with muscle head men and women dead lifting what seems to be a small oil tanker. But if you were to consult a health professional, they would tell you that the amount you squat in the gym is not the most important part of a healthy lifestyle – not even close!

Now, let’s say this new “healthy you” mentality extended to some new interior decorating, and you want to start in the bedroom, and specifically with your sheets. When you’re shopping for this next set of sheets, it’s also a waste of time and energy to focus on another set of numbers - thread count. Don’t let the thread count enthusiasts (or gym rat enthusiasts for that matter!) intimidate you into thinking that’s all that matters.

So instead of thread count, what’s the number one thing you should be looking for in your prospective sheets? Yarn size. Yarn size is how thick each yarn is and is as true measure of quality, with the thicker, the better. It’s like your day to day diet, i.e. the most essential part of healthy living.

In technical terms, yarn size is measured in how many yards of yarn can be stuffed into one pound. For example, a 60s yarn size has 50,400 yards of yarn (!) in one pound (840 yards in 1 lb). Yarn is divided into four major sizes – 20s, 40s, 60s, and 80s – with the higher the size, the thicker the yarn resulting in a higher quality. All Alex&Ivy’s sheets are 60s, which is generally what fine men’s shirts is made of. Aim for yarn that is 60s and higher for the highest quality sheets.

In laymen’s terms, yarn size is a direct indicator of cotton quality! Now, many companies can make their sheets double or even triple ply, and this will become obvious in a smaller yarn size. When “plying” yarn, individual yarn is twisted together once, twice, etc to make a single thread. For example, a double-ply sheet with yarn size 60s is reported as 30s because it retains the softness of the original 60s yarn, but only has the thickness of a 30s yarn. Double play yarns can oftentimes be masking lower quality yarn. A high quality yarn made from Egyptian or Pima cotton (link to article about cotton), like all the sheets at Alex&Ivy, can stand alone as single ply. So look for single-ply sheets!

The second thing to look for is the weave style you want – percale or sateen. The weave style is like your work out style of choice – running or biking? There’s no wrong choice here and the same applies to weave styles!

Percale weave sheets are crisp and smooth. Perfect for those warmer summer in the countryside. Want something a little more glamorous? The sateen weave is incredibly soft and silky, and will give you luxury Parisian hotel feels. Which way you go here is simply a reflection of what effect you want when you get into bed every night.

Thirdly, and finally, we come to thread count. Like the amount of gains at the gym each week, thread count should be the last on your things to consider when looking at sheet details. And here’s the trick – it all goes back to yarn size. By definition, thread count is the number of threads packed in to 1 square inch of fabric. As thread count goes up, the yarn itself is oftentimes thinner and more frail in order to cram more fabric into 1 square inch of fabric. This can lead to sheets that pill after even a few uses!

The higher quality and yarn size, the lower the thread count needs to be because the yarn can truly shine by itself! The higher the thread count, the lower the yarn quality (as depicted below).

This sliding scale maxes out the best thread count to be around 400. Anything higher and you start to get these 1800 count Godzilla sheets that will end up feeling just as scaly as the monster itself. Although it’s true you can get an 800 thread count sheet of extremely high quality yarn, it will most likely be very expensive (several hundreds of dollars).

To sum it all up, yarn size is the meat and potatoes of the sheet world. Without it there’s no point in evaluating how high your thread count is, just like the pounds gained at the gym have no substance if it’s not backed by a healthy diet. Secondly, choose your weave style according to your aesthetic! When it comes to living a healthy lifestyle, it’s important to build a solid foundation, and when it comes to sheets, that foundation is not built in the thread count gym. Thread count be damned.

Life potpourri

Life grab bag

Life lux

Life on 5th avenue

Alex and Ivy is an online retailer of fine bedding mostly made of cotton and linens.  Our products consist of sheets, duvet covers and bath products.

Alex and Ivy, linen Fine bedding, linens, duvet covers,comforters and towels

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There’s a Much Better Way to Get the Bubble Butt of Your Dreams

Guess what? We have good news! To get the bubble but you want…

You WON’T spend hours at the gym

You WON’T starve yourself

You WON’T need supplements or weight gain formulas

You WON’T need stinky fish oil

The best news is, our program will work for you. Using our secrets, your body type is unimportant. Whether you usually gain weight somewhere other than your butt, or if you are thin and struggle to put on weight. We can help.

You can have the body of your dreams, don’t let anyone tell you differently. We help you discover exactly what causes booty growth. So with our program, you will see results, and quickly.

Our program is the best, fastest way to get the bubble butt of your dreams. Here are the highlights of what you will get:

You will have access to easy-to-follow, highly effective workout plans. Each of our exercises works your glutes from all directions and angles every single time. We share when it is best to workout, which exercises to do when, and all the details you need for the best results.

Our workouts only take 30 minutes a day, 4 days a week. It’s a small investment for the bubble butt of your dreams. We take out the guesswork. You will have simple, perfectly engineered workout plans to get you the bubble butt of your dreams.

You will get instant access to videos showing you how to perform our highly effective exercises. These exercises are not the common, run of the mill type you might be familiar with. We will help you master these moves so you can get the bubble butt of your dreams.

You will receive thorough, proven nutrition plans that you can customize. We will help you identify the best foods for your new exercise plan, as well as what to eat before and after working out. Not all foods are created equal, and we will help you get the bubble butt of your dreams while slimming your belly. You will get easy recipes and food hacks that save you tons of time.

Bonus: Get the bubble butt of your dreams, without growing your thighs​

You want a healthy bubbly butt, but you may not want larger thighs. Our program focuses on glue-targeting exercises, and avoids exercises that focus on thigh muscles. Plus, you will get replacement exercises you can do to only work your glutes as well as tips to make your glutes do the heavy lifting, not your thighs.

You will have lifetime access to our members only area. You can instantly access the workout plans, exercise videos, nutritional guides, recipes and bonuses from anywhere with an Internet connection!

Invest 30 Minutes a Day in Yourself to Get the Bubble Butt of Your Dreams!

We know you’re busy. You have a full life with work or school, family, and friends. That’s why we designed a simple and fast program for you. So you can start right away, invest a small amount of time, and start seeing results fast. We do the work for you. No wasting time on useless exercises or wondering what meal plan is best.

We’ve done it all for you.

Our program is easy to use. It is not endless information that is overwhelming and hard to use. We make it simple, every step of the way.

Our program uses an effective formula and takes out the guesswork. We make it simple, every step of the way.

Our program is short and simple, that’s the beauty. We have the answers, and we will help you. We make it simple, every step of the way.

Don’t Take Our Word For It! What Our Customers Are Saying…

“I saw results within a couple weeks, it was amazing. So glad I gave it a shot.”

Janette Delgado

“This works! It really does. I didn’t expect results, and I was pleasantly surprised. Thank you!”

Jennifer Richardson

“I tried everything! Nothing worked for me, until now. Thank you!”

Julie Daine

“The real deal! I can’t believe that I finally have the body I want. I’m so happy!”

Sherisse R.

A bubble butt of your own – or your money back

We want you to have the bubble butt of your dreams. So we made sure you’re covered by a 60-day money back guarantee. So if for any reason our program doesn’t work for you, just let us know and you’ll get a refund right away. No questions asked.

Don’t wait, start today. You have nothing to lose, and the bubble butt of your dreams to gain!

Answers to common questions…

Of course. But, that won’t get you the bubble butt you’re after.

Make no mistake: squats are great. But they aren’t the key to achieving a healthy bubble butt. Your body responds best to a variety of glute-focused exercises. We’ve chosen the most effective of those and combined them into an effective workout program. You will be working your glutes from all angles with every workout.

Doing squats alone, just can’t make the same impact.

Not to mention a little-known squat secret: there are easier, glute-targeted exercises that are even more effective than squats. Shh. It’s a secret.

No! Our program works the old-fashioned way. You will focus on the right nutritious foods and quick, intensive workouts.

Not if you don’t want them to. We know many common glute-growing workouts also tend to grow the thighs. This may be the last thing you want.

That’s why our program focuses mainly on glute-targeted exercises and mostly avoids exercises that target your hamstrings and quadriceps.

Plus, in our bonus section, “Just the Glutes, Please,” you’ll find replacement exercises as well as tips on how to maximize glute activation while minimizing thigh activation.

Do men have glute muscles?

Yes, and yes.

While men and women store fat differently, one thing that both sexes have in common is the fact that we both have glutes. And the main glute muscle, the gluteus maximus, is the biggest, most powerful muscle in our bodies.

Whether you’re a man or woman, you can grow a bubble butt by working this muscle in the right ways. In fact, men have a slight advantage since they have higher testosterone levels, which equals greater muscle gain.

Yes. Many people are stopped short in their quest for greater glutes because of knee or joint pain. This is a shame, because there are so many exercises that are more effective than squats and lunges and won’t stress your knees.

You can rest easy knowing that our short and sweet program isn’t about squats or lunges. You will find tons of comfortable alternatives. We show you exactly how to do them, how to combine them, and how to get the most out of them.

Get on the Fast Track to the Bubble Butt of Your Dreams Today!

You deserve to have the body you want, and the bubble butt of your dreams. This will change your life, and our program is easy and effective.

You have nothing to lose, and a dream to gain. The sooner you start, the sooner you will see results. So start today!

Your purchase is 100% protected by our No-Questions-Asked 100% Money-Back Guarantee.

Order now and get started today!

You will get instant access to our exclusive members-only area, guaranteed!

ClickBank is the retailer of products on this site. CLICKBANK® is a registered trademark of Click Sales, Inc., a Delaware corporation located at 917 S. Lusk Street, Suite 200, Boise Idaho, 83706, USA and used by permission. ClickBank’s role as retailer does not constitute an endorsement, approval or review of these products or any claim, statement or opinion used in promotion of these products.

Copyright © 2020 30/30 Bubble Butt – All Rights Reserved.

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30/30 Bubble Butt

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/30-30-bubble-butt/

30/30 Bubble Butt

 Buy Now    

With our exclusive members-only program, you will get:

Highly-effective workout plans

Targeted, simple nutrition guides

Clear, easy-to-follow exercise videos

Scrumptious recipes to nourish your body the right way

Unlimited, lifetime access

There’s a Much Better Way to Get the Bubble Butt of Your Dreams

Guess what? We have good news! To get the bubble but you want…

You WON’T spend hours at the gym

You WON’T starve yourself

You WON’T need supplements or weight gain formulas

You WON’T need stinky fish oil

The best news is, our program will work for you. Using our secrets, your body type is unimportant. Whether you usually gain weight somewhere other than your butt, or if you are thin and struggle to put on weight. We can help.

You can have the body of your dreams, don’t let anyone tell you differently. We help you discover exactly what causes booty growth. So with our program, you will see results, and quickly.

Our program is the best, fastest way to get the bubble butt of your dreams. Here are the highlights of what you will get:

You will have access to easy-to-follow, highly effective workout plans. Each of our exercises works your glutes from all directions and angles every single time. We share when it is best to workout, which exercises to do when, and all the details you need for the best results.

Our workouts only take 30 minutes a day, 4 days a week. It’s a small investment for the bubble butt of your dreams. We take out the guesswork. You will have simple, perfectly engineered workout plans to get you the bubble butt of your dreams.

You will get instant access to videos showing you how to perform our highly effective exercises. These exercises are not the common, run of the mill type you might be familiar with. We will help you master these moves so you can get the bubble butt of your dreams.

You will receive thorough, proven nutrition plans that you can customize. We will help you identify the best foods for your new exercise plan, as well as what to eat before and after working out. Not all foods are created equal, and we will help you get the bubble butt of your dreams while slimming your belly. You will get easy recipes and food hacks that save you tons of time.

Bonus: Get the bubble butt of your dreams, without growing your thighs​

You want a healthy bubbly butt, but you may not want larger thighs. Our program focuses on glue-targeting exercises, and avoids exercises that focus on thigh muscles. Plus, you will get replacement exercises you can do to only work your glutes as well as tips to make your glutes do the heavy lifting, not your thighs.

You will have lifetime access to our members only area. You can instantly access the workout plans, exercise videos, nutritional guides, recipes and bonuses from anywhere with an Internet connection!

Invest 30 Minutes a Day in Yourself to Get the Bubble Butt of Your Dreams!

We know you’re busy. You have a full life with work or school, family, and friends. That’s why we designed a simple and fast program for you. So you can start right away, invest a small amount of time, and start seeing results fast. We do the work for you. No wasting time on useless exercises or wondering what meal plan is best.

We’ve done it all for you.

Our program is easy to use. It is not endless information that is overwhelming and hard to use. We make it simple, every step of the way.

Our program uses an effective formula and takes out the guesswork. We make it simple, every step of the way.

Our program is short and simple, that’s the beauty. We have the answers, and we will help you. We make it simple, every step of the way.

Don’t Take Our Word For It! What Our Customers Are Saying…

“I saw results within a couple weeks, it was amazing. So glad I gave it a shot.”

Janette Delgado

“This works! It really does. I didn’t expect results, and I was pleasantly surprised. Thank you!”

Jennifer Richardson

“I tried everything! Nothing worked for me, until now. Thank you!”

Julie Daine

“The real deal! I can’t believe that I finally have the body I want. I’m so happy!”

Sherisse R.

A bubble butt of your own – or your money back

We want you to have the bubble butt of your dreams. So we made sure you’re covered by a 60-day money back guarantee. So if for any reason our program doesn’t work for you, just let us know and you’ll get a refund right away. No questions asked.

Don’t wait, start today. You have nothing to lose, and the bubble butt of your dreams to gain!

Answers to common questions…

Of course. But, that won’t get you the bubble butt you’re after.

Make no mistake: squats are great. But they aren’t the key to achieving a healthy bubble butt. Your body responds best to a variety of glute-focused exercises. We’ve chosen the most effective of those and combined them into an effective workout program. You will be working your glutes from all angles with every workout.

Doing squats alone, just can’t make the same impact.

Not to mention a little-known squat secret: there are easier, glute-targeted exercises that are even more effective than squats. Shh. It’s a secret.

No! Our program works the old-fashioned way. You will focus on the right nutritious foods and quick, intensive workouts.

Not if you don’t want them to. We know many common glute-growing workouts also tend to grow the thighs. This may be the last thing you want.

That’s why our program focuses mainly on glute-targeted exercises and mostly avoids exercises that target your hamstrings and quadriceps.

Plus, in our bonus section, “Just the Glutes, Please,” you’ll find replacement exercises as well as tips on how to maximize glute activation while minimizing thigh activation.

Do men have glute muscles?

Yes, and yes.

While men and women store fat differently, one thing that both sexes have in common is the fact that we both have glutes. And the main glute muscle, the gluteus maximus, is the biggest, most powerful muscle in our bodies.

Whether you’re a man or woman, you can grow a bubble butt by working this muscle in the right ways. In fact, men have a slight advantage since they have higher testosterone levels, which equals greater muscle gain.

Yes. Many people are stopped short in their quest for greater glutes because of knee or joint pain. This is a shame, because there are so many exercises that are more effective than squats and lunges and won’t stress your knees.

You can rest easy knowing that our short and sweet program isn’t about squats or lunges. You will find tons of comfortable alternatives. We show you exactly how to do them, how to combine them, and how to get the most out of them.

Get on the Fast Track to the Bubble Butt of Your Dreams Today!

You deserve to have the body you want, and the bubble butt of your dreams. This will change your life, and our program is easy and effective.

You have nothing to lose, and a dream to gain. The sooner you start, the sooner you will see results. So start today!

Your purchase is 100% protected by our No-Questions-Asked 100% Money-Back Guarantee.

Order now and get started today!

You will get instant access to our exclusive members-only area, guaranteed!

ClickBank is the retailer of products on this site. CLICKBANK® is a registered trademark of Click Sales, Inc., a Delaware corporation located at 917 S. Lusk Street, Suite 200, Boise Idaho, 83706, USA and used by permission. ClickBank’s role as retailer does not constitute an endorsement, approval or review of these products or any claim, statement or opinion used in promotion of these products.

Copyright © 2020 30/30 Bubble Butt – All Rights Reserved.