#one thing i can always count on is my sunflower that's gone feral tho :') every year she comes back and looks more effed than last year
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spring is approaching faster than i thought please lend me your strength 😭
#skelly speaks#no matter how many years pass i cannot develop positive associations for spring#it's too ingrained in my head as the 'school season' and the time when insomnia becomes more painful#bc during the fall and winter if i can't sleep or wake up in the middle of the night at least it's still dark out#then during the summer the evening is a peaceful time when settling down is easier & has a clear window of It's Actually Night Not Just Dark#but the spring is like the worst of all seasons#light for way longer. not warm. sunshowers. birds waking me up at 5 am.#it's pure misery#i might actually tape contractor bags to my window and turn my room into research outpost 31 just so i don't have to deal with it#listen to sad winter music: well the sun is out you should be happy. listen to fun summer music: but it's still cold you can't have fun#wear warm winter clothes: too sweaty you ruined them. wear cool summer clothes: you have frostbite.#step outside: you are blinded by the sun and also shivering#i know it's supposed to be a time of birth and new life but nothing regrows until way late in the season#and I'm too tired and sad to garden this year#it used to be one of the only things that made me happy but I'm too stressed to start it#one thing i can always count on is my sunflower that's gone feral tho :') every year she comes back and looks more effed than last year#last year she came back as a fat stalk with several smaller stalks with half sized sunflowers on each stem#if the garden replants itself I'll always care for it but bringing it back myself is too much#that is one nice thing my mamma does is she adopts fruit/vegetable plants from people and puts them in my garden#but i think she just doesn't want me to think she forgot about my hobbies or something#anyway send me your effed up sprouted plants and I'll be forced to care for them bc i feel bad about letting a gift d*e#g-grew myself a l-little gard-d-den.... t-to grow my- 😭😭😭
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