#one ohhhh it tastes sweet. i hope he grows more bitter about it i hope he gets worse YEAHHH SLIME FUCK EM UP

[hinderr]

Rewatched the clips where slime questioned if the other eggs were coming back and my bloodlust grew a bit stronger

[drethanramslay]

Can I request 15, 29, 38 for some naughty angsty Ethan x MC please? 😍🙏🏽

Thanks for the prompt Anon 💖

You can find the prompt list here.

#15-“How do you want to do this?”

#29-“Be quiet! You’ll get us caught!”

#38-“Nothing about us is conventional”

Warning: NSFW, smut, a little bit of angst, and it's kinda long

Author's note: Tumblr is being a bitch and not letting me add the read more tag 😔🤧 so forgive me.

Taglist: @miyakokurono @trappedinfandoms @openheart12 @sekizincimektup @junggoku @ethandaddyramsey @edith-eggs1 @ethanramseysgirl (let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list 😊)

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Leah stared at her reflection in the mirror, contemplating what to wear.

How do you even dress up for a party at the governor's mansion? Leah racked her brain but the dilemma still continued.

Since the day she treated the first son, the governor had a soft spot for Ethan and her. Today was her birthday and she had personally invited the two of them. It was eight in the evening and she had to reach there in half an hour.

Ah fuck it. She took the white halter back dress. It was simple yet exquisite. It was pinched at her waist and flared till her mid thigh. The dress dipped till her mid back, exposing her strong back muscles. Years of swimming for the nationals did that for you.

She was just wearing her diamond teardrop earrings which her mom gave, when her phone pinged. It was a message from Ethan.

E🦒- I'm reaching in five... Be ready

Leah sighed and slipped on her heels. There was palpable tension between the two which was getting harder to deal with. She knew it was driving him mad as well.

I mean, how many cold showers would he take when he decided that enough was enough?

As she reached the lobby, she saw Ethan's car waiting on the curb. She knocked on the window and Ethan looked up, giving her a breathtaking smile.

"Hey Dr. Ramsey. You clean up good." She smiled up at him, which made Ethan's heart beat faster.

"Hey Dr. Garcia. You look great." Ethan lamely responded. 'Great' didn't even encompass how truly stunning she looked. She looked like an angel, innocent and pure. The brown eyes that twinkled with excitement and dimples in her cheek was making him go crazy.

Oh lord, why do I have to put up with a case of blue balls everytime I meet her?

The ride was short and they talked, but it was hard to ignore the sexual tension which had been building up since weeks. There were instances, when Ethan's hand almost went and rested on her caramel thighs. He clenched the steering wheel till his knuckles were white.

It wasn't any easier for Leah as well. He looked delicious. The tux fitted him like a second skin. The bowtie just gave him brownie points. The way the the streetlights casted shadows on his strong jawline made her want to trace them with her fingers.

God, please give me the strength to not jump his bones this evening.

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The party was boring. It was way too extravagant for their taste. There were champagne fountains and ice sculptures. Ethan and Leah continued to bitch about how the rich people just waste money. The amount of money that has gone in this party, could have easily helped them treat ten patients in the free clinic.

But sadly, that's the harsh and bitter truth.

Socializing can get tiresome and Leah had already downed three glasses of champagne in the last half an hour. The only thing which made the entire ordeal tolerable was warm sensation of alcohol that was slowly seeping into her veins and Ethan's heated gazes.

They were seated on a round table, facing a stage where some woman was singing opera. Leah was seated between Ethan and a CEO of a bigshot company, who was getting chatty as his glass was being refilled with the amber liquid.

They were just making polite small talk, when she felt Ethan's leg brush against her bare leg. She looked at him from the corner of the eye, but he just wore an impassive expression, casually chatting with his neighbour. Leah narrowed her eyes.

Well, two can play a game.

As she continued to talk with her neighbour, she casually kept her hand on his thigh, and squeezed.

Ethan's eyes widened. "Are you okay Dr. Ramsey?" His neighbour asked.

He coughed, "Yeah yeah. Everything is perfect."

Leah continued her journey north, pausing to squeeze every now and then. Ethan waited with bated breath, when her hand was close to his dick, but she just drew her hand away and took a sip of her wine, smirking.

Oh this minx is going to have it. Ethan thought to himself, as he narrowed his eyes slightly.

A spoon clanked to the floor. "Oops, sorry." Ethan said, as he bent down to pick it up. Leah just side eyed him and turned towards the entree placed in front of her. She was about to eat her food when she felt his hand, sliding up her smooth calf, slow and tantalizing.

He came up with his spoon and gave an embarassed smile but, his hands continued their journey up. She widened her legs, under the table cloth, giddy with anticipation.

His hand never stopped. They caressed, squeezed and rubbed her until he reached her throbbing core.

Leah bit her lip, enjoying the feeling of his deft fingers rubbing her through her panties. The friction just over stimulated her pussy and she gripped the tablecloth tightly when she felt his fingers move her panties.

"Are you excited?" The CEO asked.

Leah's eyes widened and at that instant his fingers entered her dripping cunt.

"Mmmh-huh?" Leah controlled her moan.

"Are you excited to be part of the best diagnostics team? How's your boss?"

Well my boss has his fingers deep in my cunt..

"Ohhhh. It been..uh quite an experience." Leah managed to choke out. She glared at him, hoping that Ethan would get the hint and stop. But that just fuelled his movements.

Ethan smirked at his victory.

"Um, excuse me. I'm not feeling too well." Leah took his hand out of her and headed to the nearest bathroom.

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She was about to close the door when Ethan smoothly entered in and leaned back on the door, closing it.

Leah was breathing heavily and Ethan's eyes were dark. "How do you want to do this?" Leah asked as he slowly stalked towards the basin against which she was leaning.

"I have a couple of ideas." He said in a deep husky voice which made her squeeze her thighs.

"Go on then. Enlighten me."

"First, I am going to get you out of that pretty little dress you got there. After I have got you naked-" he pressed his growing erection against her core, eliciting a breathless moan from her."-and wanton-" He pinned her hands on either side and got his lips to the shell of her ear.

"- I'll drive you wild." He whispered, biting her earlobe. Leah gave a gasp and she gushed, her need intensifying.

He grinded against her core, and Leah gave out another moan, enjoying the friction. "I will keep getting you to the edge until you can't take it anymore. You will be begging for release."

"God Ethan. Fuck me now."

He gave her a smirk and crashed his lips against her. They kissed with heated fervour, not once backing down. He turned her around and pressed her against the sink, pushing her hair to one side.

His hands rapidly untied the knot of her halter dress. Her breasts spilled out of the dress and he grabbed both of them, massaging them. Leah was trying her best to keep it low but she just couldn't. With his hands playing with her breasts and him dry humping her from the behind, it was just too much.

Ethan kissed her neck and whispered, "Be quiet, sunshine. We will get caught." He sucked on her neck, hard and let it go with a pop.

Leah could see the bright red hickey on her neck through the mirror. He had staked his claim, which just yelled one thing.

Mine.

He unbuckled his belt with lightening speed and nudged her leg with his, so that she could spread them wide. She bent down and rubbed her ass against him. He grabbed the lacy material of her panties and ripped it off clean.

That is the hottest thing I have ever see.

She was getting impatient and fidgety which only earned her a slap on her ass. She squealed and Ethan gripped her waist, tightly.

Sheathing himself with a condom, he aligned himself against her. He slid himself against her slick folds, nudging her clit which made her close her eyes with the pleasure.

"Sunshine... I want you to keep your eyes open. Look at your reflection. Look at the expression you make when I am fucking you. The expression which drives me crazy." With that he plunged into her.

She opened her eyes but it was so hard. She caught a glance of her reflection. Her eyes were a shade of dark brown, her teeth had sunk into her bottom lip and there was a thin layer of sweat accumulating on her forehead.

She looked thoroughly fucked.

Ethan kept pounding into her. The sounds of skin slapping, was borderline obscene. His hands never stayed in one place. They wandered, from her breasts, down her stomach, to her cunt, teasing and pinching, slowly pushing her towards the edge.

He hit her sweet spot, which made her gasp loudly. "Right there baby... Right there."

Ethan obliged. She was now on the brink of falling apart.

"Come for me sunshine."

And she did. Ethan's hand reached to cover her mouth, so as to muffle the scream of pleasure she gave out. They both climaxed at the same time, in perfect synchrony.

After getting down from their high, he kissed her cheek and nuzzled against her neck. "Who would have thought... We would be fucking in the Mayor's mansion?" Ethan breathed out, laughing under his breath.

Leah chuckled, enjoying the soreness in her core. "Baby, don't you know? Nothing about us is conventional.”

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[ctl-yuejie]

all of @howdydowdy‘s most loveliest tags for my fanfic, you are so wonderful i don’t know how i deserved the good luck to find you ;A;

1. #OH MY GOD!!!!!!!#it's here!! i'm gonna lose my whole entire mind!!!!!#well i hope everybody's ready for me to scream about every single installment as it comes out because this is the most important thing now#i didn't even know turnip!ah yuan was gonna be in it THIS IS THE BEST SURPRISE!!!!!#i feel so honored that my tags had anything to do with inspiring this incredible au but this is absolutely so much better#even in this short installment i'm getting such a good feel for the three characters who have made an appearance so far!#excited to see your lwj!!!#'the only thing his viewers enjoyed more than his content were the occasional take-downs Wen Qing was dishing out in the comment section'#ahahaha you are so funny#PLEASE EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS AMAZING FIC! I'M SO EXCITED FOR IT!!!!#i don't know all the things that are gonna happen but i have a general idea and guys it's such a good au#op is so creative and brilliant!!!#the untamed#ah yuan and his two dads will be the death of me#fic#these are a few of my favorite things

2. #second! installment!! time!!!#i feel like i'm a reader in dickensian london waiting for the new chapter to come out in the magazine#except there's less pollution and i don't have to put coal in an oven#why are those my associations with dickensian london? idk don't worry about it#jiang cheng makes an appearance! okay so i have never really understood him but i've been reading a LOT of fic#and i'm starting to get the picture i think#this is like...just the right amount ominous to get me super excited to see what happens next#WYD JC????#also wwx's characterization is just *chef's kiss*#<3 <3 <3 love u op you're too good to me#puns

3. #ohhhh shit everybody lwj is here! things are happening!!!!#i love all the sibling feels lxc gives me always#in every single fic i read he's like 'lwj i found another boy your age please be friends with him i love you so much'#oOoOoO the shoot will be four whole days i wonder what can happen in four days you guys...#like maybe...mister stoic guqin falling in love with disaster farmer man????#STAY TUNED#you know what just occurred to me is that lwj needs an emotion translator#i'm thinking like luther the anger translator for obama in those key & peele sketches#except it's just someone interpreting all of lwj's stoic faces#i mean lxc can read his faces so you'd think he could do it but idk if lxc himself is emotive enough#i'll have to think about it more

4. #this fic is the gift that keeps on giving#slowly introducing new characters...now we're meeting my sweet baby wen ning...i don't deserve this happiness...#also wei wuxian's carefree chaotic energy is just to die for#and what's this? jiang cheng appears on the horizon? narrowing his eyes at a tumbleweed that rolls across his path#his spurs jingling menacingly as he stalks ever closer?#hold on to yer hats cowboys i smell some Plot approaching#the untamed#fic#(okay also 'explosive arts & crafts projects' ahaha you are the best at these descriptions)

5. #oooooooo things are really coming together my dudes...#more jiang cheng content! okay he is really growing on me. grouch with a heart of gold. huge schemer. just wants to make fun of his BIL with#his brother but feels like he has to prioritize his ~responsibilities~#he loves wwx and understands what motivates him and at the same time just wants him to like. chill#the air quotes ahaha#that wwx makes them and that jc hates it#also i think my favorite image from this is the fact that one of the draws of the tv show is that all the cultivator hosts are handsome#which means that when lxc needed someone to cover for him he just went to the producers like#'no worries my little brother is also super hot so he should meet all your requirements'#'is he personable? no. does he speak in complete sentences? also no. but are the viewers gonna go batshit over his face? absofuckinlutely'#and the producers were like 'oh yeah dude say no more'#this is so fun i'm really enjoying these updates!!!

6. #not the city centre itself but a nearby mound#which sounds unusual and ominous#honey you got a big storm comin'#lwj is getting there early...oh fuck the suspense...#also 'either this is just how show business works or no one really knows what they are doing' why not both lwj??#ahaha i am cackling and steepling my fingers imagining how this is all gonna go down#babe i'm glad you decided not to give me spoilers because it is so fun watching things unfold

7. #i'm just imagining the perspective of the film crew showing up and it's a barren wasteland#they're like...wtf kind of establishing shots are we supposed to take of this??#don't worry guys the cutest child on the planet lives here. just get some footage of him frolicking in the turnip fields#the audience will lose their effing minds

8. #i love jc's logic like 'no one can find out about this or it'll be bad for the family. how to accomplish this? better get a film crew'#also i love how he's lowkey bitter that no one wants to interview him AHAHA jc you peach#and he's like 'maybe i'll watch the show. JUST TO MAKE FUN OF WWX FOR NO OTHER REASON'#wow i'm like becoming really fond of this character op!!!

9. #AHAHA love this image of lwj staring after nhs as he traipses down the street#'fancy birds? tf kinda innuendo is that??'#also lwj deciding to wear all white so that people won't approach him ahaha damn where is my equivalent outfit??#MATCHMAKER LXC STRIKES AGAIN!!!!!#did lxc even have to go out of town for real or was it all a setup to get lwj and wwx in the same place??#wouldn't put it past him tbh#lwj is so perfectly taciturn here i love it#and not just because he's not personable or something it's because he's having FEELINGS#also because wwx never shuts up lol#'he is doomed just like before because even this unknown wei wuxian he wants to be close to and find out who he is'#ughughguhgghhghhh how are you finding and pushing all my buttons???#hot DAMN i am HERE for this!!!

10. #i've now read this three times and i love it more every time!#you have such a way with words and i love how you're getting into wwx's head#it can be hard to relate to him with how dense he can be but you make it all seem incredibly plausible and realistic!!#i love him like 'wonder what it would be like to share a hotel room. it's totally normal that i'm thinking about this'#and like. you show how he got there in his thought process and it makes total sense!#also: lwj as eye candy YES EXACTLY#nhs is the perfect choice for a tv interior designer expert. that is SO what he would be doing in a universe with tv about interior design#okay and MOST IMPORTANTLY we have come to the part in the gifset!! this is the best crack that ever caught feels omg ilysm#demonic blood pool WEI YIIIIIIIING#wen ning being all yeah goth guys and blood pools two great tastes that taste great together#i love everything about this and it was so worth the wait. very excited for the next installment!!!

11. #you are LITCHRALLY killing me with this sharp characterization!! how are you nailing all their voices!!!!#nhs just in it for the hashtag drama that's so spot on omg. breaking all the rules HE wrote just so he can torture jc#all 'are you seeing this??? ARE YOU??' poor nhs and jc having to watch these two lovesick fools make googly eyes at each other#for YEARS and not REALIZE it well it's your lucky day mr. fan man because soon the whole world will see this UST and validate you#okay but what i love the most is jc the masochist being so uncomfortable he has to keep turning off the video ahahahaha#wangxian out here romancing so hard that jc needs a barf bag. or therapy. or selective amnesia.#you ever get secondhand mortifying ordeal of being known? that's what's happening for jc here#it's mortifying watching other people experience the ordeal of being known. this is the hardest i have ever related to jc#it's like oh fuck. lwj loves wwx and it's so obvious. oh my god. i'm so embarrassed.#wwx is so gone for lwj and it's right there on his face for anyone to read. i'm in agony.#ALSO 'jiang cheng can feel his head get hot and he drops the phone on the table like it personally betrayed him' THANK U FOR THIS#everything about this is the best and my favorite#ahhh i'm so excited for the next chapters and so glad they're already up so i can read them right now!!!!

12. #lxc shooting lwj pointed looks every time the jiang sect comes up in conversation for the past 13 years!!!!! he would!!!!!!#i love the way you describe wwx through lwj's eyes. the love just shines through#also you are so insightful about his character but what else is new??? you're the character breakdown QUEEN#OH MY GOD AH YUAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111#i am writing these tags as i read or that would have been the first tag it's SO important#i mean my tag isn't important it's incoherent but AH YUAN IS IMPORTANT!!!!!#you really want me to die. you really want me to be all the way murdered.#this image of lwj just standing there with impeccable posture one arm behind his back the other holding a sword in the air randomly#with this squirmy lil bab clutching at his clothes and reaching up on his tiptoes#okay dang i didn't know there was gonna be action! intrigue!! an ambush!!!#this fic really has it all#bamf!wwx and rescuer!lwj#battle couple ftw#NOT TO MENTION DRUNK!LWJ!!! SELF SACRIFICING!LWJ!!!!!#how am i supposed to live knowing lwj Did That#ughghughghgughgh#'at least i made him happy.' at least you made him happy???!?!?!?#just let me live for a second!!!#just one second though then i'm gonna read the next chapter

13. #awwww jiang 'I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU I'VE JUST BEEN CUTTING ONIONS' cheng gets a tear in his eye#they are...a fambly.....#my man lxc coming thru for the people!! title of my upcoming inspirational children's book: Lan Xichen Takes a Stand#op you made me love jiang cheng. i'm in it now

14. #omg i forgot that you had written this and sent it to me weeks ago so when i read it just now i was like...obviously that's what happened???#i had already just fully incorporated it into my understanding of these characters in my head and forgotten how it got there#so this was the BEST surprise#i can't believe you. putting ah yuan and bunnies in the same chapter because you love drowning me in cute#soft domestic adoptive dad content???? ugh i literally need to lie down and go into a coma.#just a lil coma. to recharge my feels.#i don't know what you could possibly be putting in the 'extra' but i am. vibrating with excitement!!!!#this is one of my favorite fics ever and i'm forever happy that you came up with this amazing idea and executed it so well#I APPRECIATE AND ADORE YOU!!!#HEART EYES EMOJI#these are a few of my favorite things#the untamed#ah yuan and his two dads will be the death of me

15. #OH MY GOD NHS MASTERMINDED ALL OF IT#this is so perfect i'm in awe!!!!#of course he did!!!!#also 'he had been very invested in this romance he had even painted themed fans for this' ahahaha#these schemes! these machinations!! he got lxc out of the way! he put the idea in jc's head! ahhhhh!#mr. fan man

[jamesandanna12]

Tatacoa Desert (Colombia) to Bogota (Colombia) - 2 June - 1 July 2017

We left Villavieja and the Tatacoa Desert in sweltering heat. We knew the road wouldn't be great but it was actually way worse than we expected. We were going to Giradot in a VERY cross-country way. The surface was all loose gravel which made us ride much slower than we'd have wanted. Progress was slow and it was unbelievably hot!

Good road, eh?! 😉

The worst thing about our journey were two horrible tunnels we had to ride through... After a particularly bad gravel stretch of road we got to the first tunnel. There was no warning - one minute you ride through a "tunnel" of shrubs, which is lovely...

the next minute you ride onto a real tunnel that's unsurfaced and pitch dark! 😱😱😱 James was ahead of me and screaming in my ear to stop!!! There were huge, uneven 2-3 feet deep mud ruts everywhere on the surface! As the tunnel was not lit, we couldn't see the ruts or the huge potholes or even the uneven ground. If there were vehicles coming, we wouldn't have been able to see them. We COULDN'T SEE ANYTHING! 😱😱😱

I hate unlit tunnels and get very scared... Unfortunately South America is full of them but this one was particularly slippery and dangerous. The tunnel was maybe 500 metres long, with 2 bends and so dark I struggled to see James's rear lights! Riding in pitch darkness "by feel only" is no fun! Needless to say, my helmet was full of tears 😢

We encountered another similar tunnel but luckily we saw a big truck approaching it ahead of us so we accelerated, caught up with it and stayed at the back of the truck - at least we were able to see a little! Phew! 

The scenery was stunning in the Magdalena river valley 😊

We eventually reached Giradot and we got a great deal in a lovely modern hotel with a pool - happy days! 

Giradot is a very busy town full of people from Bogota escaping the cold. It was a bit chavvy - we didn't like it. 

After a night's sleep, we set off for Bogota. The weather was bad! It was cold and wet and the visibility was terrible. It took us a while to get to Bogota. 

After a horrible ride in fog and cloud, we finally reached Bogota - the Colombian capital of 8 million people. We hit traffic and it took us nearly two hours to get to our hotel. When we finally arrived, we parked the bikes, showered, went across the road for a Domino's pizza and collapsed in bed 😉

Our hotel room was lovely, quiet and comfortable. We slept like logs! In the morning we went exploring. 

We went to the museum of gold - Museo del Oro. Hands down the most beautiful museum I've been to (Anna). We learnt a lot about the history of Colombia. 

Walk back to our hotel was chaotic but great people watching opportunity. 

The following morning we found an unbelievably nice French patisserie - fantastic coffee and proper croissants (not the Colombian version filled with horrible quesito - cheese kept in room temperature. Yuk!). We're not fans 😂

Walking around old Bogota was lovely!

Knowing that we would be back in Bogota before too long, we decided to leave the following morning and ride to Salento - a small town in the hills known for its coffee growing plantations. The ride was nice but big sections of bad surface made our journey slow and a bit tiring.

We pulled in for lunch in a little restaurant beside a petrol station. It was the usual feast but actually quite nice.

It was a beautiful day and riding was fantastic. It was getting hillier and hillier and we were loving the scenery. 

We were getting nearer Salento when the sun started setting. We were tired as we rode all day. It was time to stop............ however...

Our sat nav decided to play a cruel trick on us and send us completely cross-country to Salento! 

We ended up on, what can only be described as, a goat track! Huge potholes we could lose our bikes in, horribly steep uphills, big mud only sections and... darkness! We arrived in pitch darkness. Yuk! 

We found a little simple hostel for the night and went out to get a bite to eat. As we walked around the tiny center of Salanto, we heard a very loud "hello". It was Axel, the Austrian guy we met in MotoCamp in Chile! We joined him and his girlfriend Gabi for drink and a catch up. And then... we saw our other friends, Kevin and Celia. South America is a small place! 😁

Axel told us about this great hotel they were staying in so I (Anna) decided to investigate 😁 It was indeed lovely! We checked in for four nights! 

Gustavo, the owner, was incredibly friendly and helpful. We liked him a lot. He made sure our bikes were safe and sound.

The weather was a bit patchy but for once we had a lovely place to hang out - just outside our room on the veranda. We were to be found there every time there was a torrential downpour. 

Walking around Salento was lovely and low-key. 

We even found a fresh mango juice cart - happy days! 🙆🙆

There was one huge hill in Salento - many, many steps (600 something) but the view was worth it!

In the evening we met up with the other four for dinner and some drinks. It was a lovely evening ☺We shared stories from our journeys - some really incredible ones! I (Anna) was a happy bunny when between all six of us, I realised that I fell off my bike the least amount of times (I.e. once). Yay! 😉

The following day we went on a coffee plantation tour. It was very interesting.

The farm was in a lovely setting. 

There was an unbelievably pungent smell from the coffee cherries!

Our guide was very good at explaining the whole coffee lifecycle process.

We were tasked with picking what we thought were ripe coffee cherries. It was more difficult than we expected. 

I found four 😉

James did much better!

We tasted the cherries and they were surprisingly sweet. The two perfectly formed coffee beans were just lovely 😊

The baskets suit us, don't they! 😂

This is the small version of the machine separating cherries from the valuable coffee beans.

And this is the difference between good coffee (left) that is exported out of Colombia and bad coffee (right) that tastes foul and is the only coffee widely available in Colombia. No surprise then that most Colombians drink hot chocolate instead! 

At the end of the tour it was time for tasting. It was better than the usual coffee in Colombia but still a far cry from the "good stuff" we can get back home. 

So have a nice up of coffee for us 😊 Cheers!

The following morning Gustavo served the most amazing breakfast. We loved having breakfast in the garden - such a treat! 

We wanted to see the Cocora Valley and wax palm trees, the tallest variety in the world, so we booked a ride in a shared Jeep. 

The valley was stunning!

We went on a little 10km hike - beautiful scenery!

It was an incredibly beautiful hike! 

The clouds started coming down but they only added to the atmospheric ambiance! 

It was cold and getting cloudier and cloudier but it only added to the beauty of the place! 

We walked back to the point where we could take the Jeep back to town just in time... The heavens opened! We timed our walk pretty well! 

Back in Salento we went for a coffee (still bitter but the best one we could get in town) 😉

We walked around the town for hours - lovely and peaceful. 

All the restaurants close very early so we pulled in for dinner in daylight. 

After supper we sat on the square drinking beer and observing the local life. Great fun! 

The following morning it was time to check out... We didn't really want to - Salento and our hotel have been a bit of an oasis. Salento and that area of the coffee country would definitely be on our list to visit if we were back in Colombia again.  

We were going to Medellin. I (Anna) have an Italian friend Maurizio who lives there with his Colombian girlfriend Elena. Maurizio and I worked together years ago so I was looking forward to seeing him again 😊

The first bit of the journey was very straightforward.

We encountered several diversions - very slow and on awful surface. We hoped the road to Medellin would be a good one but it was actually in dreadful condition. Huge potholes, bad surface and very windy and twisty with no passing lanes and full of impatient macho drivers. 

And then we happened upon this queue... We waited for ten minutes or so but nothing was moving. Several motorbikes weaved their way through all the cars so we followed them. 

After 10km we were still negotiating our way through all the parked cars! The queue was huge! Eventually we got to the front. All the motorcycles were waiting there. We stopped beside a truck and the driver told us what happened. It was a particularly tight bend and one truck didn't make the turn and fell into the ravine. The driver had died. Horribly sad! 

We waited for nearly three hours for the road to be reopened. We were nervous at the prospect of riding on these roads in darkness. Thankfully we got off the mountain in daylight or just about. We arrived at Maurizio's in pitch darkness. They were waiting for us and I think were quite relieved that we arrived in one piece 😉 We had a great evening of catching up! 

The view from the apartment was gorgeous!

We walked around for ages! 

And then we stopped at the nicest Italian cafe ever! It was Maurizio's and Elena's favourite. Ohhhh the tiramisu!! 😍😍

We were having a great time in Medellin with our friends. We intended staying for a couple of nights... But Maurizio and Elena were making us feel like home and way too comfortable! 😉 They are real foodies and were spoiling us all the time with amazing dinners! 

After an incredible supper we went out for a glass of wine 😀

After a glass of wine we moved onto the local drink, Aguardiente, typical Colombian firewater. It tasted great with pieces of orange and lime. 

We all had a fantastic evening! 

The guys told us many stories about Colombia, drugs, Escobar, guerilla wars and how all that affected local people... Scary. Things are definitely on the up and are much better than even ten years ago but you can still get someone killed for $100 😱 Life is cheap in Colombia. James and I are very cautious when out  and about and we're not the only ones -  All of us stay alert with our eyes open, never flaunt wealth (phone, camera, jewellery) and never are out late at night. Elena holds her breath when walking past people - 'The Devil's Breath' drug (scopolamine) is often thrown in people's faces. It eliminates free will and can wipe the memory of its victims! Life is cheap in all South America.

The following day we had a very lazy day 😉

The guys told us about a couple of places worth visiting  so we decided to ride there for a day trip. We decided to ride to Guatape without realising how bad and slow the road would be! 

The scenery was great.

The view from the top of the Guatape rock was supposed to be lovely but given that it took us several hours to get there, if we had climbed it, we would have run out of daylight to get back to Medellin. So we admired the view from the ground. 

Coming back, the traffic was even worse and it took us ages to get back. The roads in Colombia really are bad. 

We had another lazy day of booking flights to Europe, walking around and having lunch with our friends.

We stayed in Medellin for a whole week! Maurizio and Elena made us feel so welcome! We loved staying with them in their gorgeous apartment, chatting to early hours, practicing our Spanish (sorry Elena), hearing the (scary) stories about Colombia, watching great movies together and being entertained by the amazing cooking shows (God they can cook!). Maurizio and Elena - thank you so much for having us! 😘 😘 

We set off very early on Sunday morning. We were packed and ready to go at 6.15am! 😵 We had to go so early because all the main roads in big cities in Colombia close for bicycles only on Sundays from 7am until 2pm. 

One last look at the lovely view from the balcony 😊

The traffic was light and it was relatively easy to get out of Medellin. We were on our way to Cartagena but needed to break the journey somewhere. Our plan was to ride and stop when when we get tired. It was a long journey to the coast and we had no idea about the state of the roads - Colombians still don't drive. It's the legacy of the past where roads were too dangerous to drive on. People simply fly, even what we consider to be tiny distances.  

But before we got out of Medellin we remembered what Maurizio told us... He said that when we get to a particular place where the road splits to stay LEFT! If we stayed on the road and veered right we would end up in Moravia -  a notoriously dangerous area of Medellin. We got to a place where the road split... And had no idea if that was the correct spot or not... Our sat nav was of no help! We stopped on the central reservation in the middle of quite a busy motorway at that stage and discussed whether or not this was our left turn 😉 We decided to go left... And thank God we did! Very shortly we noticed Moravia on our right... It looked a very deprived area. Thanks Maurizio!

The roads were OK, mostly paved. We rode for hours in clouds...

And then in fog...

And then the weather improved and it was beautiful ☺

We rode all day and progress was quite slow despite the seemingly OK roads. We got to a town called Planeta Rica. We saw a modern looking hotel several kilometres out of town but thought that it would be easier to stay in town... We rode around Planeta Rica - it was a dump! Everyone seemed to be either drunk or drinking and when one guy started running towards me and shouting, we did a very quick U-turn towards the out of town hotel! 

The sunset was gorgeous!

We slept well but were looking forward to leaving the unpleasant town so packed up and left early.. 

It was a lovely fresh morning but the temperature was rising rapidly. 

We rode through some poor towns and villages - there was very little in these places. 

The scenery was beautiful. It was hot as hell though! 😉

Approaching Cartagena was interesting. We thought it would be like riding into Medellin, fast and modern, but instead we rode on dirt roads and passed several horse and carts! 

We really wanted to stay in the old walled city of Cartagena but as parking our bikes was going to be virtually impossible, we had to stay outside the walls. We decided to stay on the seafront but the area felt very dodgy. At least our hotel was secure and the bikes were safe. 

The waterfront was nice but there were a lot of people lurking. There were no tourists around. 

We walked to the walled city - it was beautifully lit. 

The following morning we enjoyed our breakfast on the hotel terrace. It was 10am and already baking!  

The old city of Cartagena was gorgeous! 

After walking around for a few hours, we were melting! 

We went to our favourite chain restaurant for dinner - Crepe & Waffle - the best salads ever!!!! 

I loved walking within the walled city at night - so pretty! 

But once outside the walls, it was point-and-go for us. Pavements weren't lit and there were a lot of people lurking around. As we walked to our hotel, all we could see was cigarettes lighting in the bushes across the street - and many of them. Not the nicest of walks. 

The following day was a day of chores. We needed to finally put new tyres on our bikes - the tyres that we carried since Lima! But first, coffee and a walk to see the fort. 

A very friendly chap working in our hotel showed us the way to a local mechanic that we would never have found ourselves. The rear rack on James's bike was broken and we needed it welded back together. 

Then we got the tyres changed. The tyre man had very primitive tools but had great attitude and was very friendly. He was delighted that we left the old tyres with him - there was still life in them and he was able to resell them. 

After a few hours the bikes were done. Our next chore was to try and find someone to wash our bike gear. I found this place called "Beer and laundry" and since it had great reviews, we decided to give it a go. We were greeted by Ana Maria and her brother Juan. It was a cute little place with a dozen or so washers and dryers, ice cold beer and homemade pizzas. The guys said they would try to wash our gear so we were delighted. When we came back to collect our trousers and jackets, we couldn't believe the transformation! Poor Juan scrubbed our gear by hand! Everything looked brand new!  Thank you Juan and Ana Maria! ☺We also met an incredibly friendly couple sitting there, Neil and Cat - we had a lovely chat. A big hello from us 👋😀👋

It was really nice to meet these four! Always such a treat to meet lovely people 😊

Our next destination was going to be a nice beach 😀 We have heard a lot about the Caribbean coast of Colombia so we wanted to see it.  We decided to go to El Rododero near Santa Marta which was supposed to be a lovely place to visit. 

We left the following morning after another lovely brekkie on the terrace. 

It was hot as hell! Nearly 40 degrees Celsius! And that's before midday! 😵

We were baking! When you are by the pool with cocktails in hand, this heat is one thing... When you are riding in full motorcycle gear, that's ANOTHER story! 

We eventually found a hotel - it wasn't great but the bikes were safe. We wanted to see if we liked El Rododero before we looked for a better place to stay. By the time we checked in, unpacked and showered, it was late in the evening so we just went out for a bite to eat. There were so many people around!!  

We felt a bit better after a night's sleep - we must have overheated on the bikes. We went to the beach - my main objective was to go for a swim!   😉

But... 

The beach was absolutely crowded and the amount of hawkers was unreal! We were approached every few seconds! Not exaggerating! Ignoring them didn't work and there was nowhere to hide - they would just stand there surrounding you. Not nice.

But the worst thing was the smell of sewage! Oh my God! The water didn't look clean in places so it put us off swimming for sure 😕 😲

So we just took some photos. Disappointing. 

The later it got, the more people appeared on the beach. The smell was as bad as earlier so safe to say, I didn't get to have a swim 😢

The sunset was lovely. 

We found amazing dinner! The food was spectacular! Oh the seafood stew... 😍

We were disappointed with El Rododero - sewage in the sea is just unacceptable! I still can't believe that so many people were swimming there! 😱

We decided to leave the following morning and ride up the coast for a while and see if we found somewhere we liked...

We were in no rush so we went to have one last look at the beach and get coffee. 

It was was unbelievably crowded and unfortunately, smelly as ever. 

We set off in baking heat. We rode a good bit of the coast and it seemed even more crowded. I suppose Colombians have only that small stretch of the coast to go on holidays as the whole Pacific side is largely controlled by the guerillas. We like low-key and quiet beaches - the coast of Colombia wasn't for us. 

We decided to go to a little town called Minca. It was 700m high in the hills. We hoped it would give us a little respite from the heat. We found a very simple room in a house in the jungle. The road to it was rutted with horrible deep gravel. 

Turning into the house wasn't very nice - steep and on loose gravel... James dropped the bike. It was so hot and we were overheated. It could have easily happened to me. 

With only a small fan in our room, we hoped that would be enough. The house looked really cool! 

We were in a real wildermess. 

The village was tiny! 

We sat around the terrace with the other people staying in the house - lovely bunch of backpackers. It was really hot and the bugs were biting...

A few little kittens kept us entertained.

After a couple of hours of being outside, my legs had 70 bites on them despite highly concentrated DEET. 

We had to fnd a different place to stay for the following day as our guesthouse was full. We found what on the face of it, looked like a better place. It had a nicer, cleaner room and lovely gardens. 

And on their terrace we could watch dozens of hummingbirds!! What a treat! 😍

The view from the terrace was something else!

The hummingbirds were absolutely beautiful! I was wishing I had a better camera. 

We watched the cute little creatures for a good couple of hours. We wanted coffee so we went to the only place that served it. It was ok but there was a nice surprise for us - yummy muffins 😋

We watched the local life around us. 

We were told that there was a lovely spot with a waterfall with hot springs so we hiked an hour up the hill to get there. The views were lovely.

Eventually we reached the access point..... Need I say more?

Neither James nor I fancied negotiating our way through the hordes of people so we turned around. At least the walk back was mostly downhill.

Minca was nothing special - again, we heard a lot about it but it wasn't our cup of tea. The worst thing however was that James became ill after having breakfast in our hotel. Timing was terrible as we had a huge shlep back to Bogota and we had to do it in three days - we had our flight to Europe booked. Poor James had a miserable day 😟 

The following day was better - the scenery was nicer and more importantly, James felt much better.

We were riding against the clock which we didn't enjoy. We had to get back to Bogota in the early afternoon on Thursday in order to get our bikes properly washed in preparation of shipping to Miami. We had an appointment with our shipping agent the following morning. We rushed a bit. 

We stopped for some water and I played with a very cuddly cat 😀

We arrived back in Bogota wrecked. We overheated quite a bit but still needed to ride through the absolute centre of Bogota to get the bikes cleaned. Argh! 😬😬

We identified a proper vehicle vehicle cleaning garage in advance and rode straight there. After unloading all our luggage, the bikes were on lifts and getting washed...

And washed...

And washed some more...

An hour and a half later we were still waiting...

The guys were doing an amazing job!

Two and a half hours later we were still waiting...

The people running the garage were incredibly friendly. All they wanted was to put our "business card" on their wall 😁

As we put our card on the glass window, we saw our friend's, Dave, card! We had met him in Santiago Chile.  He was in Bogota only a couple of months earlier. Incredible! 

Finally, after nearly three and a half hours we were free to go! 

We got to our hotel very tired. We slept like logs. The following morning we had to get up early and ride to our shipping agent's office. We rode for an hour and a quarter through heavy traffic. We eventually got to the office, sorted out all the paperwork for shipping our bikes to Miami and rode to a storage place our agent organised for us to store the bikes whilst we flew to Europe. 

I was very sad to leave our bikes behind! 😢

It felt like the end of an era... We were flying to Europe to see our families and were very happy about that! But we were also a little sad because we knew our time in South America was nearly over... 😟

[csjmadhouse]

SALVATION|DAMNATION, the debut album from “metal-pop” singer/songwriter Cody St. John, will be available September 8th, 2017. Pre-Order now to instantly receive three tracks and unlock snippets to the rest of the album before they can be heard anywhere else!

INTRODUCE

Allow me to introduce myself  No, not him Not the boy with his eyes on the ground Afraid to make a sound  Allow me to introduce myself No, not you Not the guy that keeps it bottled up  Until he has an overflowing cup  Allow me to introduce myself  No, that’s not right Not the man who still cries  Over little white lies 

GOOD AT BEING BAD

You think good boys gone bad are sexy I’m a bad boy cuz I had to be To make it out alive Won’t be your fetish Turn the key Just drive Let me tell ya a little somethin Bout a kid who was given the world All he had to do Was stay on his knees And not question a word

Well I was bad at it Bad Bad Was no good at it Gave up all I had Got up from my knees Stand firm on my feet What can I say I’m good at being bad

EYE CANDY

Eye-eye-eye-eye-eye-eye candy Lemme feast upon this Ohhhh she looks so sweet But I ain’t allowed to taste it, no Eye-eye-eye-eye-eye-eye candy Why don’t you feast upon this Ohhhhh I taste so sweet But I need a man to take it Don’t mean I won’t be your Eye candy

OUTLAW

Layin here shackled to the bed Eyes shut blockin’ out the harsh light Broken bottles from another wild night Looks like me and Mr. Right Picked ourselves another fight Sorry, Sheriff, please release me Didn’t mean to do the dirty things I’ve done Sorry, Sheriff, please release me Then you can join me on the run

Mustang’s tires Kickin’ up the dirt Kick, kickin’ up the dirt Got the sweat runnin’ All down your shirt Down, down your shirt While my hands creepin’ On up her skirt Up, up her skirt Hands up now Nobody’ll get hurt Hands up now Nobody’ll get hurt Tail end'a my car’s The last thing he saw Never gonna incarcerate This outlaw

Found me hiding out Like a sex crazed bandit With my pants ‘round my ankles Caught me red handed Put those red limbs in some chains Made me watch as you took a needle And pumped mud in your veins Your eyes are gone, Sheriff Is anybody home? Your eyes are gone, Sheriff Now you’ve left me alone

Mustang’s tires Kickin’ up the dirt Kick, kickin’ up the dirt Got the sweat runnin’ All down your shirt Down, down your shirt While my hands creepin’ On up her skirt Up, up her skirt Hands up now Nobody’ll get hurt Hands up now Nobody’ll get hurt Tail end'a my car’s The last thing he saw Never gonna incarcerate This outlaw

Can someone post my bail Right now I’m s'posed be setting sail Tug at these chains to no avail Looks like I’m stuck Why’d I take the bate Why’d I come home late Now he’s so irate And he wants to fuck Ahhhhhhhhhh! Breathing in his exhaled smoke Hand on my throat making me choke Exposing my body to new pains Cotton mouth hoping that it rains

Mustang’s tires Kickin’ up the dirt Kick, kickin’ up the dirt Got the sweat runnin’ All down your shirt Down, down your shirt While my hands creepin’ On up her skirt Up, up her skirt Hands up now Nobody’ll get hurt Hands up now Nobody’ll get hurt Tail end'a my car’s The last thing he saw Never gonna incarcerate This outlaw

PRINCE HARMING

Don’t you Don’t you put your hopes on him Don’t tell him your horrors and your fears He’ll crush you with it Kill you with it Use it to break your heart He looks oh so charming Too bad he’s really Prince Harming

Second he told you To call him daddy You should’ve ran Now it’s too late Deep into third trimester I don’t think you can Turn back the clock Erase his betrayal He was a devil in disguise And you fell for his portrayal Of an angel from the skies

DEEP BLUE SECRET

Takin’ on water now Down we go We’re sinking at the bow This ship’s met its demise Cast off as the SS Bullshit That ice on her finger Gave the hull a nice slit We’re takin’ on water now Down we go Punished for the outcome Of the captain’s show

COLD BED

There I was thinking  We were on the right track  But I guess with you  I can never know for sure  You’ve flipped the script  Yet you’re still in the same role  Turned the tables  But still eat the same meal  Guess we’re not so different after all  Looks like we’ve hit a wall  Can’t waste anymore time  Acting like we just need to heal  Maybe there was hope once long ago But months have passed  This bed is still cold And we still haven’t closed the deal 

LITTLE DRUMMER’S PLOY

Warned you about my ways  Guess you should’ve listened  Before I torched the fucking car That we first kissed in You’re tangled in a maniac’s web Now that you’re stuck  Where you gonna go You’ll never find a better fuck  The way I played you  The way I used your heart  I can see you wanna break away Too bad ya don’t know where to start

Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-bum-bum-bum I got your heart beating  Got your heart beating I got your heart beating Like a mother fucking drum 

Told you I was a sorcerer  Really more like a warlock  If that scares you Maybe you shouldn’t have sat on my cock  Listen now, mortal man It’s really not so bad  Can’t blame yourself For the power we sirens had  Reeling you in  Like a mindless seaman  Listen to the drums  They’ll have you screamin’

Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-bum-bum-bum I got your heart beating  Got your heart beating I got your heart beating Like a mother fucking drum  Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-bum-bum-bum I got your heart beating  Got your heart beating I got your heart beating Like a mother fucking drum

Waves are crashing down  Can you hear that sound Waves are crashing down  Surprised you’re still around Days are growing dark Somehow you’re still here  Days are growing dark Do you really feel no fear Sabotaged to save myself  Yet you’re still in my bed Sabotaged to save myself  Are you dumb or are you dead

Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-bum-bum-bum I got your heart beating  Got your heart beating I got your heart beating Like a mother fucking drum  Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-dum-dum Bum did-di-bum-bum-bum I got your heart beating  Got your heart beating I got your heart beating Like a mother fucking drum

DIG DEEPER

You-ou-ou Taught me the game Made me a player Stained my name You-ou-ou Broke my heart Made me a cryer Dodged the blame You-ou-ou Can’t run from me I am the slayer I’ve come unchained

Better dig deeper If you wanna find my heart Better dig deeper If you don’t know where to start Better dig deeper To find what makes me tick Better dig deeper That grave ain’t deep enough For you and your sins So you’d better dig deeper!

ENCHANTRESS

Was I under a spell Before I moved to hell Mom I might like boys But I’ll never tell Been staring for so long Don’t know how you missed This boy I kissed I can see I pissed Off the Enchantress

FAGGOT

Si coierit cum vir virum Sicut fit unum cum femina Et quod ex illis fit ut quia abominatio Welcome to the homo hanging show!

Tied me up Then held me down While my soul teared Spewed words like venom Held your hands high while I screamed Passed it all off as a prayer I had no demons To exorcise I was your challenge I’ll see to it that You never get your prize

Tried to turn me Yearn for me baby You haven’t earned me Showed no concern for me lately Called me a little faggot Blamed me for your hurting I’m a proud little faggot Commence the burning

Shined brighter than your lord When you set me ablaze You get so much joy From abusing the gays You hear the crackle Of these flames They’re gonna haunt you Make you remember our names Can’t extinguish a fire you started Time to join the dearly departed

Tried to turn me Yearn for me baby You haven’t earned me Showed no concern for me lately Called me a little faggot Blamed me for your hurting I’m a proud little faggot Commence the burning

What sweet bitter irony is this After threats of hell for so long You’re gonna be the one to burn Satan’s gonna make you his bitch Burn witch, burn bitch No sweeter revenge Than fucking one of God’s own Take it like a man Don’t you dare cry now Or all the little hellions Will call your soul a faggot While your body’s devoured By Earth’s hungry maggots

Tried to turn me Yearn for me baby You haven’t earned me Showed no concern for me lately Called me a little faggot Blamed me for your hurting I’m a proud little faggot Commence the burning

Nolite iudicare et non iudicabimini Nolite condemnare et non condemnabimini Dimittite et dimittemini Don’t you ever cast a stone at me!

WAR CRY OF A MADMAN

Ain’t gonna reward no bad behavior  Knocked on the wrong door If you came searching for a savior  Warned you I’d only drag you down Why’d you try to fly with me Now that we’ve both crashed and burned  Think it’s funny how these tables turned 

I’m a mad man  A fucking lunatic Baby I’m sick  I’m a mad man  A fucking lunatic Baby I’m sick 

FLY HIGH

Heart hijacked by the rhythm of the drum Bodies all over soaked in whiskey and rum Outsiders thinkin’ we're all dumb  They need some green, aye, come and get some Guitar strumming Planes are humming  We’re all on something  Heeeey! Thanks for coming!

Got a million hands raised to the sky  Come on, angel, teach me to fly  Smoke touches the clouds as we all get high Come on, angel, teach me to fly  Fly! Fly! Fly! Flyyyyy! High. High. High.