#one of these days i am going to fucking snap and either i’m not making it out alive or someone else isn’t. i’m done.

[allbark-no-bite]

good boy.

art donaldson x reader (wc: 2.9k)

summary: as Art’s personal physical therapist, it’s your job to fix what Tashi has torn apart, by whatever means necessary. or in which Art just needs some TLC

warnings: 18+ smut, it could be worse tbh, mentions of disordered eating

author’s note: i’m back ig?? im out of uni for the summer and challengers has me in a chokehold. Art Donaldson the man that you are

————————————————————————

You're standing just within earshot of the doorway, passing a sanitary wipe over one of the tables in the athlete treatment room when you hear the door abruptly open. Tashi storms in with a purpose and Art trails meekly behind her. Even if you had been clueless to how the match had gone rather than on the sidelines beside Tashi not even twenty minutes ago, you could have guessed by the hard line of her mouth that Art was in for it. Not that her displeased scowl was much different from her usual scowl, but you'd been around long enough to know the difference.

She stops abruptly, and Art heels obediently as Tashi turns around to face him. "I need you to tell me when you're going to fucking get it together so that I can stop wasting my time."

Weary and sweat soaked, Art just stares at her with that pitiful look on his face and says nothing in reply. His blue eyes solemnly take in her harsh disappointment as though beyond used to it. At this point it's not all that foreign to you either.

"You may as well be fucking asleep out there," she snaps.

This time his mouth opens. "I- I'm just tired-" he begins, although there's hardly any argue to his voice at all.

"No, I'm tired, Art," Tashi interjects. "Do you have any idea how much fucking work I've put into getting you back onto the court this past year?! I've done everything! The least you could do go out there and try to act like I've done anything for you at all!"

Art swallows, the slight frown on his face deepening. "I am. I just- I don't-"

Before he can even finish his sentence. The open palm of Tashi's hand connects with his cheek as she pops the left side of his face. Art closes his mouth. You pretend to concentrate on wiping down the table. It's not the first time you've witnessed one of these conversations but it still feels private, like you shouldn't be here. You keep wiping the table.

Understanding that anything else he says is only going to make Tashi angrier, Art resigns to once again watching her in silence. His blue eyes are sad. The usually fair skin of his cheek is tinted pink where she popped him. Although it wasn't very hard, you're sure it still hurt him all the same.

"Quit wasting my time," is all she says before she finally turns and leaves, walking right past you and out the other door. You hold your breath as she passes you. Art watches her go but makes no move to follow. You release an audible sigh. It's been a frustrating day for everyone. As Art's personal trainer, physical therapist, and close friend, you felt every loss, every ache and pain, every bad play. And there seemed to be a lot of those lately.

Art is still standing there, watching the closed door that Tashi left though.

Not knowing how to break the silence, you finally pat the freshly sanitized treatment table. "C'mon," you call gently, as though beckoning to a wounded dog.

It takes a moment for him to budge, but eventually he does, his disheartened spirit apparent in the way he walks over. Used to the usual routine, he tugs his damp shirt off over his head as he takes a seat, the lean muscles of his torso flexing as he does so. You allow yourself to ogle at him, only for a brief moment before stepping in between the bracket of his knees. Gently, you cradle his chin, tipping his head back to look up at you as your thumb smooths over the redness of his cheek. His blue eyes blink up at you, sad and dog-like.

"It wasn't terrible," you reassure him. "You had surgery six months ago. You're still getting your feet back underneath you. Most people wouldn't have come back." You're right. The still-pink scars on his shoulder are still fresh on your mind. The stitches weren't even out before Tashi had him in physical therapy. Even though his medical team had released him, it was still a bit early to start doing rehab so soon after surgery, Art's comfort being your biggest concern. But when Tashi wants something, she gets it.

Wordlessly, Art sighs, the weight of his head settling into your palm as he finally lets go of the tension he'd been carrying. It was always like this. You fixing what Tashi had torn apart. You understood where Tashi was coming from. Art needed a firm voice in his training, and you had a lot of respect for the way she put her foot down and never let up, not even once. But there was only so many times you could kick a dog while he was down.

So if Art needed someone to coddle him, you would coddle him.

He trusts you. He needs you, is what Tashi had told you when she asked you to stay on as his trainer full time. The three of you had been in the same year at Stanford all those years ago, Tashi and Art on the tennis team and you helping out as a student trainer as part of a class requirement. Three peas in a pod, the trio of you were. Of course then they both graduated, leaving you to finish up your schooling, meanwhile Art set off to go pro.

A few years later, once Tashi officially took on the position as Art's coach, she began building his team, and that's where you came in. You were hesitant at first.

'I already lost to you once, Tashi. I won't come in second to you again.'

She had paused on the other end of the line. Back in your Stanford days, it was obvious to anyone with eyes that you were head over heels in love with the blonde tennis player. But loving Art was like accepting the participation ribbon for a game you knew you weren't going to win in the first place. It was like standing next to the podium, just lucky enough to be included in the picture while Tashi and tennis took first and second place. And so you let him go.

'I'm not asking you to. This is different.'

Your hand slips from his face, and he forces his eyes open.

“Have you eaten?" you ask, stepping away in order to put some distance between the two of you and look for the granola bars that you keep especially for him. The gels were good sources of quick fuel in between sets, but they were hardly enough to even begin to make up for the calories he burned while playing.

Slowly, Art shakes his head, but he makes no move to take the snack from your hand when you offer it to him. Ever since his injury, nutrition became all the more important. So much to the point that every single thing that he consumed was mapped out to the exact calorie. Although he would never admit it, any sort of change in this routine made him incredibly anxious. Some days it was better not to cause him the anxiety than to force him.

Today, you insistently hold out the bar until he begrudgingly takes it from your hand. You don't move until you've seen him tear open the package and take a bite.

"Were you still feeling tight?" you ask as you walk around the table, stopping at the slouch of his turned back. You reach out to grasp at the joint of his neck and shoulder, your thumb smoothing over the kinesiology tape that's peeling away at the base of his neck.

He half turns his head to glance back at you. "You watched the match. You tell me."

His response is meant to be snippy, but it comes out more defeated than anything. To be fair, you've been his trainer long enough to know that if something was bothering him physically, you would have picked up on it.

"I want to hear it from you."

"I felt fine."

Your left hand follows suit on the other side of his neck, and you use both of your thumbs to apply pressure to what you assume will be a tense spot along the upper part of his traps. Predictably, Art groans at the attention. The muscles of his back contract as he fights the urge to shake you off. Relaxing the muscle hurts as much as it feels good. Besides his obvious discomfort, the rest of his body has gone lax under your touch. His shoulders have dropped at least an inch, and his chin has fallen to rest against his chest.

"Finish your granola bar," you reprimand him, your firm fingers working across his back until you find another spot that nearly has him jerking away. He releases a whine but obediently takes another bite of the bar. This time he finishes it before you have to remind him again.

You spend a few more minutes torturing him before you're satisfied that a majority of the tension has left his shoulders.

"Okay, good boy," you murmur, leaning forward so that your chest is close enough to brush against his back. One of your hands trails up to squeeze the back of his neck reassuringly.

You're close enough to hear him swallow at the name. The skin on the nape of his neck shivers despite how hot he still is from the match.

"Was I?" he asks timidly. "Good today?"

'I can be his coach. Or I can be the person he cries to after a bad day. But I can't be both. That's why he needs you."

Without removing your hand from his neck, you walk around the table so you're standing in front of him. Art widens the spread of his legs so that you can stand between them. His chin is still pressed to his chest, blue eyes focused on the ground.

"Art," is all you say, shifting your grip on his neck to tug lightly at his golden blonde hair. At your voice, he lifts his head just enough to look up at you through the pale wisps of his eyelashes. The irises of his blue eyes shine are wet with uncertainty.

Your fingers loosen their grip to allow your nails to scratch at his scalp. "You're good, Art. You'll always be good."

Art twists his head to nuzzle his cheek along the inside of  your outstretched arm. His lips kiss the crook of your elbow. He swallows again. "Even if I don't play tennis?"

You can tell the question's been bothering him, eating at his nerves, and messing up his game. You know him well enough to know that retirement isn't what he wants, not really. At least not right now. What he wants is the reassurance that it's going to be okay if he can't swing the comeback.

"Look at me."

He lingers a moment longer with his lips pressed lovingly against your skin before he reluctantly shifts his gaze up to you. His look is anticipatory but reserved, as if to preemptively conceal his disappointment should you choose to crush his heart with your answer.

His fear is understandable. Art's relationship with Tashi has always been entirely built off of his tennis career. By being the driving force behind his success, Tashi has vicariously lived out the life she would have had had her injury never happened. Without tennis, Art has nothing left to offer her. He knows that if he gives up tennis, he loses Tashi.

Your relationship with Art was a little less conditional. Hell, you'd been in love with him since the first time you'd laid eyes on him at Stanford. You can still picture him standing there on the court, barely nineteen, scrawny, nervous smile, backwards cap over his strawberry blonde hair. Before he was the Art Donaldson. But when Tashi had stepped into the picture, you figured that was where your fairytale ended.

"I don't love you because of tennis. I love you because you're kind, and thoughtful, and you're passionate about what you do." You smile a bit before adding, "And you're my good boy."

The name turns him bashful again, and he's quick to turn and hide his smiling face against your arm, only the flushed tips of his ears visible. "[Y/n]," he mumbles, likely meaning to be threatening, but it doesn't come out that way.

Art Donaldson lived to be praised.

You laugh, pulling him closer so that his face is held against your chest. The hand that you don't have threaded through his hair trails up the muscle of his defined quad. "You're my good boy. Aren't you, baby?"

Art whines, squirming when your hand reaches the apex of his thigh and hovers over the forming bugle of his shorts. He's not quite there yet, his dick only half chubbed up in interest, but given the day that he's had, you won't make him wait.

"Please?" he mumbles, his face still buried into your collarbone, as if attempting to curling into you, like a small child needing their parent to hold them for comfort.

You rake your nails lightly up the inside of his thigh. "What, baby?"

Not only did Art liked to be praised, but he was masochist even on his worst days.

"Want you to touch me," he mumbles, his voice muffled by your shirt. "Please."

Your hand still scratching through his hair, you press a kiss to the side of his head, unable to suppress your smile at his timid politeness and how it never seems to fail him. The only time he ever resembled anything remotely voracious was on the court.

Palm finding his tented shorts, you cup him through the fabric. Art responds immediately to your touch, his hips shifting further into your grasp. You continue to pet him through his shorts, appreciating the way you can feel him actively responding to your touch.

His nails dig into the padding of the treatment table when you give his now fully hard dick a less than sympathetic squeeze. His breath is hot as he pants against your collarbone, alternating between laving open mouthed kisses to your skin and whining when you pause fondling him just to feel his hips rut up into your palm.

Art was so in control on the tennis court, that often after a match, putting the control into someone else's hands was just what he needed.

When his hips start to stutter, you ease up but continue to stroke him through his shorts. The front of his shorts are damp with the musk of residual sweat and precum.

His breath is shallow—anticipatory.

"Gunna come?" you ask softly, speaking into the blonde mess of his hair, cradling him. He right there, you can tell by the lackluster buck of his hips, his building fatigue, and the change in his breathing.

"Can I? —Please?" Art asks breathily. He hiccups out the last part, his voice catching.

"You know you don't have to ask."

There's a brief pause, as if coming to the realization, before he meekly murmurs, "I know.

It should be sad really, his unwavering obedience, but there are two sides to Art, two polar extremes. On the court, every match, every set, every debilitating second is up to him. No one else can help him out there, and up until about a year ago, he played like it. That was the side of Art Donaldson that Tashi wanted. After the match is a different story. In private, Art needed someone to do the thinking for him, to pull him into a reality where he could believe that it didn't matter whether he won or lost. Tashi had not the sympathy nor the patience for that kind of fragility.

Art comes with a brief cry into your chest, his body arching into yours. Your hand palms at his pulsing dick until he's oversensitive and pulling away. When you relent, the front of his shorts are sticky and wet.

Finally, Art lifts his face from the safety of your chest. His blue eyes are glossed over, but it's an improvement from the detached look they held ten minutes ago. His cheeks are flushed, a mixture of his own embarrassment and satisfaction. 

You can't help the soft smile that creeps onto your face at the look of him, and immediately Art is abashedly trying to hide his face again, his own smile starting to appear. Before he can, you bring your hands back up to cradle his face, thumbs wiping away the wetness from under his eyes. This time he lets you.

His eyes study your face for a second, admiring you, appreciating the love he has for you.

“I don’t want to play tennis anymore.”

You can’t tell if it’s more of a statement or a confession. Either way, you know he’s telling you the absolute truth.

“Okay,” you reply softly, not hint of judgement in your voice. Maybe some disappointment, but that was understandable.

Retirement would be a kindness. Art would finally put back on some healthy weight, start smiling again, put on a real, actual smile. You could already see it, a nice house for the two of you to settle down in, with a picket fence and a dog in the backyard, the kind of things the two of you would have never had time for on tour.

Tennis had brought the two of you together, but it wouldn’t end you.

[jeonsweetpea]

Will It Fit? (Teaser) - NOW OUT

Roommate!AU | Roommate!Jungkook x Reader

genre: fluff, smut, comedy, lil angst, slight idiots to lovers

rating: explicit

description: So what if your roommate caught you masturbating? At least he forgot about it the next day. But he can’t exactly forget the big dildo you left in your shared bathroom…

word count: tbd (currently at 5k)

warnings: size kink, JK has a big dick (no, really), slight pain kink, light choking, dirty talk, Dom!JK, flustered/shy JK at first, unprotected sex (this is fiction, we all wanna be raw-dogged by JK okay), lube, JK loves OC’s panties a LOT, fingering, mentions of masturbation, OC gets embarrassed at first but JK is sweet about it, oral sex (male & female receiving), cursing, Soft Dom!JK, more to come I’m sure.

a/n: As soon as I saw JK’s OJO face from that GCF, it kicked me into gear to write this. I’ve had this idea for SO long, but never had the motivation to finish it. I was supposed to release it last winter, so hope you’re all excited for it! 

*update: I have posted the full fic! Check my pinned. :)

“[Y/N], I can hear you in there.” 

The muffled, disgruntled voice came from the other side of your door. Your eyes fluttered open and your hand stilled in your panties, your heart rate spiking. Maybe if you didn’t move a muscle, he’d go away. 

“I know you’re up,” he added. You rose up from your bed.

“Um… exactly what did you hear?” you squealed, face burning up at your terrible acting skills.

“Unlock this door.”

You didn't know what compelled you to saunter over and open the door a mere crack, but oh the sight before you was almost worth the humiliation. Jungkook was in nothing but gray sweats that sat dangerously low on his hips. He had a bad case of bedhead, but his locks looked so soft that you wanted nothing more than to grab onto them and make out with his beautiful lips, which were captivating you just as much as that intense gaze of his. 

“Hey… you…” you said with a meek smile, which he did not return.

“It’s 2 AM in the morning. I have work at 5. As hot as you sound, we either do something together so we both get satisfied or you let me get my rest because I am incredibly frustrated right now.”

Your eyes widened at his curt response. You’ve never seen him so tense, his tongue prodding the inside of his cheek as his glare bore into you. He leaned against your door frame with one arm, leaning in close enough to make you break eye contact. He tapped on the wooden frame with his index finger, awaiting your response. 

“Sorry…” 

God, you sounded absolutely pathetic. 

“Is that all your pretty lips are good for? Apologizing?” Before you could respond, he let out a tsk sound and retreated back to his bedroom. You stood there in a trance until his door shut loudly, snapping you out of it. You wondered if he realized how much worse he left you than when he found you. 

Fuck, was he always this hot when mad? 

[hazbinwhoree]

BRO?$!&?& OAAA I SAW YOU WERE OPEN TO ADAM REQUESTS AND OHHH. MY SNAP.

i am in desperate need. of adam smut.

NOW, WOULD IT BE OKAY FOR ME TO ASK FOR ADAM SMUT WITH A SUBMISSIVE FEMALE SINNER READER WHO IS:

usually shy nervous as fuck but absolutely watches him when he thinks he isn't looking

likes to compliment him in general (at the most random times too, despite the dickmaster being the FUCKING WORST, and she would get that but he IS kinda fine so)

touch-starved, incredibly easy to fluster and tease (bro has a thing for his voices and looks too, one word or look and she'd be on her knees)

pretty insecure in general (and is a sucker for being praised in bed)

I'd also specifically like to hear what he would say to the reader ESPECIALLY THAT IDFK AAA GO CRAZY

Adam’s Sinner

Part 1/3 Part 2

A/N: I was so fucking happy to get a request you don’t even understand. Anyway here it is, I hope I did it justice and you enjoy it!

Warnings: Smut

Adam had been aware of (Name) for about ten years. They met during the extermination, Adam cornering her in an alley. Something compelled him to spare her, and yes he realized what a hypocrite that made him. Poor Vaggie. “Fucking run, bitch.” She bolted. Adam looked around to make sure no one had seen.

The next year, Adam noticed (Name) watching him, hiding behind corners and in shadows. She did this during every extermination for about five years before Adam decided during one extermination to confront her.

(Name) peered around the corner of the dark alley she was hiding in, watching Adam kill a fellow sinner. It should disgust her, but ever since he spared her life she had a strange sort of attraction towards him. Adam looked up and (Name) ducked back behind the wall. When she peered out again, Adam was nowhere to be seen.

“What’s up, sugar tits?”

(Name) yelped, jumping when Adam appeared behind her. He put his hands on the wall on either side of her head, effectively caging her in. (Name) could feel her face heating up. Adam seemed to find it amusing. “Flustered?” (Name) swallowed.

“You know I’ve seen you watching me for the last few exterminations. What’s up with that, hm?”

(Name) had no answer.

“What’s your name?” Adam asked.

“(Name),” she answered quietly. Adam had to bend down to hear her. His proximity made her blush worse, and he snickered. “I think I figured out why. No surprise really, of course you’d want a piece of the first man in existence. I’m the fucking Dickmaster.”

He let her go shortly after their exchange, but confronted her again the next year. As years passed, Adam would spare thirty minutes every extermination to talk to (Name). He found himself becoming fond of the sinner. Her story of how she ended up in hell was interesting, and it definitely helped that she stroked his ego with compliments.

Adam found himself looking forward to seeing (Name) even more than he looked forward to the exterminations. He was grateful Lute hadn’t caught on.

A few years later, and Adam noticed (Name) wasn’t following him as she normally would. So he sought her out. She’d told him a few years ago where she lived, so that was the first place Adam checked. Sure enough, he found her there.

“Sup.”

(Name) jumped. “Adam!”

“What the fuck, babe, not interested in seeing me this year?” Adam placed his hand over his heart in mock hurt, although while he’d never admit it, it actually did hurt him.

“We can’t see each other anymore,” (Name) announced, looking away.

“Bitch why?”

“Because one of these days we’re going to get caught. I know what happened to Vaggie. What would happen if the exterminators found out their leader was socializing with a sinner?”

“You’re not like the other sinners,” Adam argued. “I’d show them that.”

“How?”

Adam was quiet.

“Exactly. And to be honest, I can’t take the emotional torture anymore.”

“The fuck are you on about, ‘emotional torture’? Come on babe-”

“Adam no. I can’t let myself get any closer to you. We only see each other once a year and I got attached, and dealing with only seeing you once a year has gotten too painful.”

Adam was rather taken aback by the confession. He felt the same way but had been gaslighting himself to believe he didn’t. For once in his life, Adam couldn’t find anything to say. He decided the best course was the course of action rather than talking.

He leaned down and abruptly pressed his lips to (Name)’s. Her eyes widened and her body stiffened. When Adam received no response on her end, he pulled back, worried he’d fucked up. She stared up at him with this look on her face that Adam couldn’t place. He didn’t know if it was positive or negative.

“Again,” she finally spoke in a small voice. A smirk stretched across Adam’s face, and he bent down once more to press his lips to hers. She kissed him back this time, almost desperately, and Adam’s arms wrapped around her waist. She shuddered and he pulled back.

“Are you okay?” No teasing or cursing.

“Yeah I just… I haven’t had anyone touch me like this in a long time.”

Adam couldn’t say the same, but this was the first time in a long time emotions had been involved. He kissed her again and snuck his tongue into her mouth as she kissed back. “I want to fuck you,” Adam mumbled against her lips. “Okay.”

Adam pushed her down on her bed, crawling on top of her. He reconnected their lips and slid a hand under her shirt. “Damn,” he commented when his wandering hand reached her chest. “Nice rack.” (Name) rolled her eyes. Adam began kissing down her neck, sucking and biting to leave his mark. (Name) moaned and grabbed onto his horns.

Adam pulled back to shed his robe, and (Name) yanked her shirt over her head. Now that Adam actually had eyes on her chest, he stared for a moment. “So pretty~” he cooed. (Name) blushed and swallowed.

“Oh~” Adam realized. “You like that, don’t you? You like being praised?”

(Name) looked away. Adam grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Don’t be embarrassed, babe, it’s cute.” He returned to her neck, kissing down and down, her shoulder, her collarbone. Then he slid down slightly to press his face between her breasts. He laid more kisses on her chest before taking a nipple into his mouth.

Sensitive, (Name) arched her back and whimpered. “I like that noise,” Adam said, moving to the other breast. “Make it again.” He sucked and she whimpered.

Adam was aware he had a short window of time to make this work, so he pulled back and pulled down (Name)’s pants and panties in one swift motion. (Name) got embarrassed being so exposed, so Adam quickly shed his own pants and boxers to level the playing field.

He noticed (Name) staring at his dick and smirked. He took it in his hand, pumping it a few times for show. “You like what you see, baby? Of course you do. Can’t beat the original dick.”

He crawled on top of her again, nudging her thighs apart with his knee to settle between them. He reconnected their lips while his hand traveled down to the place she wanted it the most. “So wet for me, good girl,” Adam teased. Flustered, (Name) shut him up with another kiss.

They made out while Adam experimentally slid one slender finger into her. Met with no resistance, he added another one, and began languidly pumping them in and out. (Name) was shaking. Eager to hurry this along, Adam added another finger. Three stretched her out and she moaned against his lips at the sensation. It made Adam’s dick throb.

He fingered her, with his thumb circling her clit, until he decided she was well enough prepared, pulling his hand away. (Name) whined at the loss but was quickly shut up by Adam grabbing her legs and throwing them over his shoulders. She gasped. Adam lined himself up with her entrance and sunk in slowly, giving her time to adjust. She squirmed, his girth proving to be a little painful to take.

Adam reached between them to give her clit attention, and that loosened her up right away. He bottomed out with a groan, closing his eyes. “Fuck, babe, you’re so tight.” Adam kissed her again, basically bending her in half as he began thrusting. He swallowed her whimpers and moans while his pace picked up in speed and intensity.

He had tried to be slow and gentle, he really had.

Adam set a brutal pace, and (Name) clawed at his back as he pounded into her. “Fuck, yeah, you’re so good for me, tits. Such a good girl, all mine,” Adam talked as he fucked her, and his every word brought (Name) closer to the edge. “You feel so fucking good.”

Adam’s thrusts were getting sloppy as he neared his own climax. “Cum for me,” he murmured. “Fucking cum for me, baby.” (Name) did, her back arching off the bed, her head thrown back and mouth open in slack pleasure. Her tightening around him pushed Adam over the edge, and he buried himself as deep as he could, cumming inside her.

They both panted, holding onto one another as they came down from their highs. Adam pulled out and rolled off of (Name), collapsing onto the bed next to her. He pulled her into his chest and covered her with one of his wings, nuzzling his face into her hair.

“I’ll find a way to see each other more,” he muttered. “I’ll figure something out.” (Name) buried her face in his chest. “Promise?” Her voice was muffled.

“Promise.”

[axelsagewrites]

Jace Velaryon*Frat Baby

Pairing: Jace x pregnant!f!reader

Word count: 1688

Warnings: rivalry, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers

Masterlist Here

Part One Here

Jace had went from being your sworn childhood enemy to fuck buddy to now the most awkward conversation of your life. You had been avoiding completely for the past month as you debated what to do so when Jace got the ‘we need to talk’ text he made sure he was free the next day for lunch. You were sat in a café across from campus, anxiously sipping on the caffeine-free tea Sansa had insisted you switch to instead of your regular coffee.

You wondered if the hole in your stomach was morning sickness or nerves but you just crossed your fingers and hoped for the best as you waited. Jace walked in, dressed like a burst bag of clothes, and anxiously scanned the room before rushing to your table. “You’re late,”

“Class ran over. have you ordered?” he said making you roll your eyes at his lack of apology as he ordered from the very perky waitress you were for some unknown reason suddenly jealous of. after he ordered, even ordering you your favourite sandwich which you were shocked he knew, he turned his attention back to you, “So what’s ‘Defcon one’?” he asked, quoting your text.

You took a deep breath as you debated how to say it before suddenly the words tumbled out, “I’m late,”

“I thought you didn’t have class today?” Jace asked, tilting his head like a confused puppy making you face palm. A few beats of silence passed before Jace said a quiet oh, followed by a louder oh, followed by a “oh fuck,” followed by one more quiet oh.

“You good?”

“I mean sure. Are you?” he asked, sitting up suddenly and leaning over the table and dropping his voice, “Does it like hurt?”

You stared at this frat boy for a solid three seconds before rolling your eyes, “I’m pregnant not dying!”

“I thought it hurt, okay?”

“It hurts later on,”

“How am I supposed to know that?”

“Highschool biology!”

“I ditched that week!”

“Yeah, to fuck Sara Snow!” the waitress who brought your food offer gave an awkward smile making you both sigh and drop your voice. “Look I get this isn’t what we planned for but,” you paused for a second before finally saying the words out loud, “I wanna keep it, him, her, them I don’t know. but either way I totally do not expect you do be involved and I wont even tell your mom but I- “

“Eh!” Jace cut you off, his eyes widening as his shoulders tensed, “No! you don’t get to just toss me aside during this,”

“I’m not tossing you aside- “

“Yes, you are! It’s my kid!”

“It’s a clump of cells,”

“My god damn cells. Half of them belong to me,”

“What you want me to stick em on a petri dish?” you spat out, “Look I’m just trying to give you an out,”

“Who said I wanted an out?”

“You wanna raise this baby?”

“Yes, I wanna raise *my* baby,”

“It’s my baby,”

“Our baby!” Jace said before sighing, “Look I’m not going anywhere and don’t for a second think I’m gonna leave my kid behind thinking I’m a dead beat. No this is what’s gonna happen- “

“You are in no position to tell me what to do- “

“Shut up!” Jace snapped, “Honest to god shut up and listen to me okay cause I am freaked the fuck out right now but I am not gonna abandon you,” he said and you weren’t sure if it was the foetus getting to your brain but it was the sweetest way he’d ever told you to shut up which would normally be met with a rude slap, “We are gonna do this together. I’m gonna get a part time job at my family’s firm. We’re gonna save like hell and then by the time our last year rolls around the baby will be like what? 3 months?”

“Two,” you said as you let Jace recover from his spiral.

“Right two. We’re gonna get a flat off campus and we’ll just have to pick our classes at the same time to make sure we can do it, okay?” he said but the way his eyes were strained made you wonder if he was genuinely asking for reassurance.

“We got this,” you said, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand, “We’ll figure it out,”

Jace let out a heavy sigh of relief as he sunk into his chair and picked up his sandwich, “Okay good. Now eat up. And we’re getting dessert too. You’re eating for two,”

-

Shockingly Jace had been sweet this whole time. each day he dropped off snacks or random baby things he’d found at your dorm. This ranged from dummies to blankets to a fucking crib catalogue. When summer break came you were pregnant, terrified, and explaining to both your parents and Jace’s about the whole situation.

They were unpredictably happy. That was till you told them you weren’t a couple and your mums both deflated a little but eventually they got back with the programme. You expected Jace to lap up his final child free summer out partying but instead he took day trips with you to the beach, went out baby shopping with you, and would just sit in with you watching movies and eating ice cream. You wondered if he was trying to make you gain 100 sizes by the end of this pregnancy with the amount of junk food, he got you. he’d even drive over at 2am with whatever weird pregnancy craving you had.

The giving birth part was the terrifying bit. But Jace held your hand through every push. “Just one more,” the midwife told you as you began to break Jace’s hand with your grip but finally you heard the cries and let your head fall back into the pillow as you panted, “It’s a girl!”

“We have a daughter,” Jace grinned, a wide dopey smile on his face. His head turned to face you and soon you broke out in your own smile as they cleaned your baby up. You saw his head begin to dip but this kiss was far different from any other.

It was sweet and tender and life altering even if it lasted a second before the woman brought your daughter over and placed her on your chest, “Hi baby,” you cooed at her.

Jace leant over to get a better view, “She’s so pretty,” he whispered, “just like you,” he added as he kissed the top of your head, not even poking fun at the sweaty state of it.

-

Jace moved into the guest room at your house for the first week of your daughter's life but soon he ended up in your room. He said it was for convenience but that didn’t explain why he held you in his arms. As you began to unpack your things in your new flat as your baby slept you turned to Jace, “What are we?” you asked as he unpacked the plates.

He rolled his eyes at you as he put them in the cupboard, “My girlfriend you idiot,”

“You never asked,” you shot back, hand on hip.

He turned to you with his cockiest face possible, “Sorry I thought between the sex, cuddling, and baby we just had you would’ve caught on,”

“Uhuh,” you rolled your eyes as he turned away from you to continue unpacking but you walked up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning your cheek against his back, “Ask me,”

You could hear him chuckle before he turned around, taking your face in his hands, “Will you be my girlfriend?”

You grinned before putting on your best thinking face, “I suppose I could be,”

“You suppose,” he rolled his eyes, but he was smiling as he lent in to kiss you only to be rudely interrupted by a loud knocking at the door. “I’m gonna kill him,” Jace groaned as he ran to the door to stop the noise, so the baby didn’t wake.

“What up bro?” Cregan whisper shouted as he hurled into your flat, “Where’s the baby?”

“She’s in the nursery sleeping,” Jace said, slapping him in the stomach as he mentioned the sleep.

Cregan rolled his eyes as he passed Jace and walked up to you with an overflowing gift bag, “Consider this a baby-welcome home-nice to meet you properly gift,” he said as he handed you the bag.

You laughed as you began to empty the contents onto the bunker to find university baby sized hoodies, t shirts, hats, and even a scarf. Of course, digging further in you found a soccer jersey, baby sized of course, rattles, and then your hand settled on a box. “Condoms?” you asked, holding the box in the air.

“Hey!” Cregan defended, hands in the air, “She’s cute and all but I’m not ready to be a double uncle. They’ll overtake me when I babysit,”

You and Jace turned to each other before looking back at him, eyes narrowing with concern, “Who said you were babysitting?” Jace asked.

Cregan just rolled his eyes as he began to wander and look for the nursery, “Bitch please she needs me. I’m the fun uncle,”

“You’re not her uncle?” you said as he reached the pink painted nursery door.

Cregan span round, hand on heart and hurt in his eyes, “Not cool man. She’s not just your guy’s baby. She’s basically the frat baby,”

You debated arguing more but watching Cregan, a built like a truck manly man, fawn over a baby no bigger than a doll was too cute to interfere with. You weren’t sure how you survived university with a baby and a Jace btu somehow with a lot of help from Cregan and Sansa who had become expert babysitters by now you managed. Some day you would have to explain to your daughter her parents were sworn enemies but not today. No today your daughter was three years old and teaching Jace to do Taylor Swift choreography with her so they could surprise you.

Taglist: @clairacassidy @valeskafics @starkleila @jacesvelaryons

@aleemendoza2425-blog  @happinessinthebeing @bellstwd

[painted-bees]

“It isn't for you, it's because of you.

Because of you, I can finally do this for myself.

Because I want to.

Because I trust you with it.

It's all because of you,

and I'm so fucking thankful.”

-- [Jan 28th, 2014] The weather had conspired against him.

Or perhaps it was trying to protect him. Either way, the cold snap that washed over Vancouver on this sunny January afternoon was perfectly timed to ruin the months of careful planning, frivolous spending, and emotional safeguarding Raf had done in preparation for the performance today. It was as though the sky had opened up to release every breath of warm air that the previous weeks of relentless overcast had, until now, valiantly sealed in.

 To make matters worse, Raf couldn’t turn to Margie for consolation about it. She didn’t know anything about a performance happening today, and it needed to stay that way until at least 6 pm. Her distractible nature had been a huge blessing for him during the past long months of preparation and rehearsals, and this was the last day he'd have to work behind her back. He was thankful for that. Tess had whisked her out into town this morning under the pretence of finding a suitable birthday present to ‘surprise’ him with. It was an effective ruse to keep Margie busy and secreted away from him while he fulfilled the final preparations for the day’s event.

  He was half expecting to arrive at Jack Poole Plaza only to be met by an unfortunate orchestra representative tasked with dispensing the bad news of postponement due to the unusual cold. Instead, the venue was abuzz with activity, warmed by the familiar din of pre-performance energy.   Or rather–it was the arrangement of outdoor heaters that kept the temperature surprisingly manageable in key locations across the venue. That was one of the expenditures Raf had considered “a frivolous necessity” when he committed to it, and it was certainly paying dividends today. 

  “Raf!” The sound of Nels’ voice as he approached was every bit as warm as the heaters. “Boy, you sure picked a day, didn’t you?” As the older man closed the distance, one of his large hands clapped down on Raf’s shoulder with an amicable jostle.

  “Well," Raf said, "no one called to postpone.” Genuine disbelief coloured his tone in a manner that wholly undermined his attempt at a half-joke.

  Nels barked a laugh, “Bah! Over a little cold? No chance. But snow?” He held up a finger, “One snowflake hits that pavement and the whole city' in shut down” He looked up at the sky, wincing against the sunlight. “Thankfully not a problem today!”

  Raf offered a small smirk that bordered on a grimace. “It’s not great for the instruments, though.”

  “Cold feet?”

  “Cold everything.” 

  Nels held him with a gentle but uncompromising gaze. “Train’s already moving, kiddo. Can’t stop now.”

  Turning his eyes towards the stage with a relenting sigh, Raf began making strides across the vast concrete venue towards it. “Outdoor concert in the middle of winter was a terrible idea. Why didn’t anyone stop me?”

  “I recall there was an attempt,” Nels said, “But, ah…You had a clear vision, a convincing argument, and a lot of money.”

  “Yeah, I’m also insane. Nels, I hate crowds, I hate public events. Why am I hosting one?”

  “You love the audience and,” Nels’ hand found Raf’s shoulder again, halting him before the stairs leading up to the left side of the temporary stage set-up. “You love Margie. That’s the kind of insanity that drove all this. She adores this sort of thing. She’s gonna be beside herself. Inconsolable, even. And you know that. That’s why you’re doing this.”

  “Mmh.” That was a swing and a miss, but Raf had no desire to engage in the pedantry dissecting his own mercurial motivations, and so, he was content to leave it there.

  Recognizing the full stop in Raf’s voice, Nels clapped his hands together and led the way onto the stage. “Well-! Things here are looking and sounding well on our end. Security’s all set. It’s not going to be a flood of people all at once but, as you can see,” he gestured out towards the plaza, “We’ve already got a population of curious loiterers. We’re wrapping up the last of the sound tests. Speaking of���!” 

  Nels turned his attention to the microphone set up at the front, centre of the stage. Raf intended to follow, but paused at the sight of Naomi making her way over from the other side. She made he way in brisk strides, holding out her open palms in a gesture both of greeting and surprise. 

  “Ooh, you showed up!”

  Raf regarded her with a lopsided smirk and a curt, upward nod of his chin. “Was I not supposed to?”

  She rubbed her hands together and squeezed the fingertips of one hand in the palm of her other. “Dunno, Ephrem. How you feelin' about it?”

  “Trying not to,” Raf admitted. “But it’s mostly fine. I’ve got Kill Bill sirens going off in my head a bit. First time I’ve ever managed something like this myself, but I am managing, so–” With a Super Mario-pitched voice, and a weak upward pump of his fist, he concluded, “Wahoo.” An aptly appropriated Margie-ism.

  “Man, shut the fuck up. You ain’t managing nothin’ yourself this time, either.” She scoffed loudly. “C’mon I ain’t out here at bitch o’clock in balls degree weather doin’ this shit just so you can tell me you ain’t got no help. Be for real.”

  “That’s not what I–”

  “I know,” she gave him a playful scowl before throwing her hands up in an exaggerated gesture of arrest, “I’m playin’! Jeez, Eph, control your temper, chill. Damn, why you always gotta be yellin’?”

  “Boy, I’m going tah rip your face off.” His stiff posture, quirked eyebrow, and uncharacteristic transatlantic accent delivered his threat with all the seriousness he intended.

  “And ruin your manicure? Girl, you’ll cry.”

  Their short drama play ended with a defusing snort of laughter shared between the two of them.

Thumbing her nose with a sniff, Naomi attempted some honest reassurance. “I think you did a pretty good job, all things considered. Hired the right folks for certain.” She grinned at the compliment as she paid it to herself.

  From their place in the corner of the stage, they both looked out over the set-up and across the venue. The stage itself was populated mostly with venue staff and Hi-Note technicians working in collaboration with each other to make sure things sounded great, looked great, and that no one would kill themselves on any of the countless cables that snaked across the floor.

  Beyond the stage, the last of the temporary barriers and crowd management measures were being organised and installed. Raf himself didn’t know what to expect in that regard, and had no option but to trust that the venue staff knew what they were doing. At the very least, a free admission orchestral event wasn’t new to them. One such concert had been hosted here in the summer, and just like that one, this event was advertised months in advance to draw out as large a crowd as possible. But he hadn’t been the one to advertise it. In fact, he had explicitly forbidden any mention of him or of a vocal performance at all. No, this was advertised in a manner similar to the summer’s concert. And indeed, the programme would be much the same–but it would end with his performance.

 Even as the staff set about their tasks, a budding population of curious doddlers seemed content to wander and wait around for something exciting to begin. It was a lot to hold in his head, and there were countless variables he had no control over–many of which relied on the cooperation of other people. Complete strangers. An overwhelming number of things could and likely would go wrong, and anything that went right would only do so thanks to luck. At least–that’s what his gut told him.

  It would be the first concert he’d perform, without Margie, in almost a decade. It would be the first performance without her that centred him since…

  Since Ephrem Records.   A chill unrelated to the cold forced him to shudder visibly, and he steadied himself with an automatic, curtly huffed sigh. This was not that. He had stared that beast directly in the eyes, he had walked into its horrifying, revenous maw and–

  He came back home. Safe. Sound. Completely unscathed.

  It–that–Ephrem Records and the nightmares within it had no control over him anymore. Though it had tried, it couldn’t keep him. That cage door had fallen off its hinges and would no longer close on him. It was a freedom he had had never in his life known before.

  Beside him, Naomi had turned her gaze to watch him. “Remember after Lacey ditched? How you said you weren’t never gonna get on stage for anyone anymore?”

  “Mmhm.”

  “You been cancellin’ shit all the time because you just ain’t gonna perform if you don’t wanna.”

  “Mmhm.”

  “But you’re here. Today. Like--your birthday’s tomorrow. You didn't wanna take it easy for that?”

  Raf turned his head to cast a very slight, wry smile down towards her. “Mmh, nah.”

 Her eyes lit up under the validating glow of his expression. “Nooo, see! I was gonna ask who you doin’ this for, really? But that shit eating grin–” a cackle punctuated her sentence. “This ain't for Margie. Is it?”

  Naomi’s laugh infected him well enough to let out a small snort of laughter all his own. “She'd hate it if it was. No, I just--wanted to see for myself if...Uh. This wouldn't kill me."

"I've been sayin', too, Margie ain't about seeing you freak out for her!" Naomi clasped her hands together and dipped forward in an elated gesture. "Well, you don't look like you're dying."

"Yeah--I don' think I will. "

–

  “Raf’s impossible to shop for. I don’t know what we were expecting to find.” Margie's conclusion arrived at the end of a long day spent following Tess around the whole, wide city in search of a gift for a man who placed very little value on material wealth. “There’s nothing we could buy that he couldn't afford himself. And it’s hard to put proper thought into it when it’s so last minute.” There was tired frustration in her voice.

  Savouring a strawberry frappe through a bent straw, Cortes remained wholly unbothered by the state of affairs. With a shrug, her free hand gestured to sign a sloppily composed, “Raf’s birthday gift can be all the friends we met along the way.” 

  Margie let out one of her conversationally reflexive little giggles. “Yeah, yeah! All none of them.”

  The sun had already begun to sink beneath the city skyline, and in its wake the clear sky was turning a shade of deep indigo. An already frigid day was turning into an even colder night. Too cold to be out walking along the seawall. Tess’s choice of a blended iced beverage was nothing short of absurd but, just like the failure of their gift-hunting quest, the freezing cold seemed to have no ill effect on Cortes whatsoever. While Margie’s breath hung like a ghost in the air and caused an uncomfortable moisture to collect on the fraying filaments of her scarf, Tess suffered no such inconvenience. Margie was bundled for warmth, but Tess wore her winter layers only for the aesthetic of it.

  Without looking at her, Tess signed with languid gestures, “We should probably head home, now. I’m getting bored.”

  Margie might have agreed, but something else tugged her attention. She grabbed Tess's arm to halt her. “Hang on, shh!” 

  A pause.

  A swell of string and brass carried itself on the chill ocean breeze. It wasn’t uncommon to hear music playing from the various shops and storefronts that lined the city streets, especially during the holiday months. But…

  “Does that sound live to you?”

  Tess appeared to listen for a moment longer before shrugging. 

  “It’s coming from the plaza.”

  Another shrug from Tess preceded an inquiring forefinger flopped with mild indifference towards the stairs leading out of the park, up towards the convention centre. 

  Margie nodded and shook Tess’s arm in her grip. “Yeah, I just wanna looksee!”

  With one last resigned shrug, Cortes allowed Margie to lead the way forward.

  As they crested the wide staircase, the plaza greeted them with an array of bright, warm lights and a buzz of activity. Margie immediately b-lined to read one of the standing signs that named the event to her.

  “Wait, no! What? This was today?” She turned a baleful gaze up at Tess. “We missed the summer one, so I was gonna tell Raf about this one. But I thought it was like–next month!” She gestured with both arms towards the banner sign. “Free concert! VMO! Tess! I’m so upset!”  Dropping her arms to her side, Margie slouched under the weight of her disappointment. “This woulda been a perfect birthday gift for him. Why did I think it was in February?”

  Tess’s hand came down gently upon the top of Margie’s head in a placating pat-pat. At the same time, an unfamiliar man’s voice addressed them from the side.

  “Excuse me, Ma’am?”

  Glancing up, Margie watched the man approach, well dressed for the weather with a bright yellow and black jacket. “Genesis Security” was emblazoned in bold, white letters across the breast and shoulder. He wasn’t addressing her. The man’s gaze was locked firmly onto Tess.

  “Ma’am,” he repeated, “I've been instructed to show you to your seat, if you’ll please follow me.”

  “Woah...” Margie watched the guy's back as he began to lead the way forward through the plaza. "How does this keep happening to you?" It seemed that no matter where Tess went, there was always something special waiting for her. People treated her like a rock star, honored by her mere presence. Apparently, this was just another such instance.

 Shrug. Tess tapped on the shoulder of the security guard and locked eyes with him before pointing to Margie, then to herself, and then back to Margie again.

  With a nod, the guard responded, “I don't see why not. But let's hurry. Show's half done by now.”

  The guard made haste, Tess kept in stride, and Margie was forced to shuffle quite swiftly in order to keep up. As she did so, her hands fumbled around in her pockets until they found her phone.

  “I should call Raf, maybe he can make it in time if he’s still at Hi-Note!” Neither Tess nor the guard in front of her said anything to discourage the thought, and so Margie hit his name in on quick-dial and waited for him to pick up.

  Instead, she was immediately met with the robotic voice of his service provider.

  With a small groan of disappointment, Margie lowered her phone to send a text message, muttering under her breath, “Why is your phone turned off, you wiener?”

  The two of them were led through the well populated venue towards the very frontmost row of seating, where Tess was presented with two vacant seats.

  “Oh,” Margie took her seat next to Tess, “Raf wouldn’t have been able to sit with us, anyways.”

  Perhaps sensing the tinge of melancholy in her voice, Tess reached over to wrap an arm around Margie’s shoulders and pulled her in close. With a sigh, Margie nestled herself cozily against Tess and made the conscious effort to shift her attitude and appreciate the free show with her ever patient girlfriend. It was thanks to Tess that she got to see this performance at all–and with that thought, Margie was able to replace her disappointment for failing their day’s objective with thankfulness towards the present moment.

  The orchestra played an enjoyable, eclectic selection of compositions, most of which Margie couldn’t name. Perhaps the only one she properly recognized was the Star Wars theme, which stood out somewhat comedically against the others–all of which she had assumed to be classical pieces. 

  The final piece–or rather, what was presented as the final piece–was no doubt Tchaikovsky. She knew Tchaikovsky. Just…not well enough to name his compositions. But this was definitely him! To her ears, everything sounded beautiful. Had Raf been there, he might have identified nuances in the performance, both good and bad, highlighting them to her so that she might be able to notice them, too. There was a shared enjoyment between them for that kind of thing. In contrast, Tess was a remarkably stoic and quiet person to sit with when it came to anything involving live music. Her enormous, dark eyes stared unblinking as she listened; transfixed by the intricate braiding of sounds. Her long, lithe fingers twirled themselves repeatedly into the stray curls of Margie’s hair. It was a tiny, thoughtless, but comfortingly intimate gesture. Despite the best efforts of the late January weather, Magritte felt remarkably warmed.

  Tchaikovsky came to an end, and both she and Tess contributed to the roar of applause that persisted even as the musicians stood to leave, abandoning their instruments on the stage.

  Keeping with the applause, Margie leaned towards Tess’s ear. “Sit tight, there’s prolly gonna be a–oop, yep!”

  Her statement was confirmed before she even had time to finish saying it, as the musicians quickly emerged to retake their seats on the stage. As they did, Margie stopped clapping, waiting to hear if their encore was a song she could identify. As the rest of the applause died down, two additional figures took position onto the stage; a trio of previously absent musicians took positions on the stage. Or, at least–if they had been present previously, they were on entirely different instruments, now. Three electric guitars, one of which was a bass.

  Margie squinted at the rightmost guitarist and her bumblebee-yellow Kramer. “Oh, woah–is that Naomi? Tess, you see her!?” She couldn’t help but pick up an applause with an exhilarated whoop at seeing a friendly face among the cast of talented strangers.

  It worked to catch Naomi’s attention, and Margie was rewarded with an acknowledging little wave, bright smile, and a thumbs up.

  Clasping her hands together, Margie leaned back in her seat with a delighted giggle. “That’s so cool, this is gonna be so good!”

  A blanket of quiet settled upon the venue, and after a moment's pause, the orchestra’s instruments sprang to life once more. The number opened with a swelling whirl of notes that immediately swept Margie’s imagination into the realm of Broadway romance. And then–

  She heard his voice.

  A pleasing falsetto that wove itself beautifully into the airy strings, Margie knew who she was hearing before he had even walked onto the stage. One note was all it took.

I got inspired to post cringe, I hope you like it lmaooo About a year prior to these events, Margie and Tess had accompanied Raf to a very emotionally turbulent trip to Monaco. It wasn't a vacation, and it wasn't what any of them would describe as particularly enjoyable...Perhaps some day, we'll learn more about what happened there and why he went. One thing that did happen, on a very desperate whim, is that Raf had asked Margie to marry him. No real proposal--something asserted on the spot, motivated more by fear than anything else. Margie said yes, of course--but only on the condition that he ask her again once they were settled back home in Vancouver. She said--promised--she wasn't going to bring it up again unless he brought it up first; that there was no pressure for him to repeat the question once he was feeling comfortable and secure again. It's just--he seemed too emotionally compromised for Margie to really accept the proposal as one that was offered to her with soundness of mind. And so--to ensure that it was something he actually meant--she would forget it was asked at all, until he brought it up again on his own accord upon their return to Canada. No need to any special occasion, now jewelry, none of that--just ask the same way he did in Monaco...but without the undercurrent of panic coloring his judgement. They returned from Monaco safe and sound, and neither Margie nor Raf breathed a word about the Monaco proposal. Margie assumed Raf forgot--or perhaps he had come to his better senses and no longer felt like his well being and safety relied on lawfully locking down their relationship together. As she had expected would be the case. On the other hand, Raf had waited two months to see if Margie would bring it up at all, or if she'd stick to her promise and release him from the obligation of following through. To him, it seemed like she had completely forgotten; ss though he had never asked her to marry him at all. Unbeknownst to her, he hadn't changed his mind. The fact that she wouldn't so much as even allude to it for his sake only imbued further confidence in his decision. She had been with him through hell and high water, she was there in all the ways she promised to be, she gave him the space and the grace he needed, carried him through some of his lowest days, and kept him safe when he was certain no one in the world ever could. She loved him during his worst days, and shouldered his worst behaviors only because she loved being with him. She never asked him for anything spectacular. She never wished to see him spend the limit of his resources on her. She only ever wished to enjoy things with him--and his enjoyment was a critical part of that desire. Over the several years they had been together, one thing became abundantly clear; Margie deserved every good thing he could grant her. Margie could be trusted to receive his best efforts and his greatest gifts without ruin. And for the first time in his life, he wanted to give those to someone--to her. Because it felt right. Because he'd love doing so. Because she fucking deserved it. Performances had become pretty comfortable for Raf by this point. He, Margie, and Tess had been doing them on the semi-regular before certain events dragged him back to Monaco. Even his post performance PTSD episodes--while still present--were far more manageable than they had ever been. He no longer plagued with week-long emotional lows that greatly overshadowed the euphoria of a great performance. Things just felt...more balanced.

Enough so that Raf decided his proposal to Magritte would, itself, be a performance. Planned and organized by him, with the help of Hi-Note. If he could organize an perform a concert as a gift for someone he loved--without succumbing to abject terror and paranoia at any point during the months of preparation--well... That kind of freedom over himself would be the best gift he's ever received. And so--he planned the performance/proposal for his birthday. Margie watched the last half of the orchestra concert with Tess, having no idea that Raf would be the encore act. Tess, of course, had been in on it as a collaborator. She knew the guard would address her for the seating--they had met prior as part of the preparations. She and Raf both knew that Margie wouldn't find anything suspect in the fact that Tess would be spontaneously offered some kind of V.I.P seating. Tess's ridiculous, ambiguous "celebrity status" had basically become a meme between them at this point. It wasn't unusual... It was all planned. And everything played out pretty well according to that plan. Once Raf too the stage, Tess pulled Margie out of her seat and led her to the stage (exchanging a thumbs-up with Nels along the way). Margie followed along in good fun. By this point, she knew shenanigans were afoot--and slipped into her role very agreeably once Nels confirmed that, yes, she's expected on the stage. She was happy to play along.

The dance she and Raf "perform" wasn't any choreographed thing. Rather, it's the same kind of lackadaisical dancing they'd often do in their livingroom at home haha. And then...there was no more performance...just overwhelm and joy and a lot of love...and Kirby rings lmaooo which made her even MORE overwhelmed. And then the rest of the night was just one big overjoyed, emotional blur. Okay, I've typed too much...this is all very silly, but I made it so you can have the whole bunch of it! Bonus: The next morning, they woke up with a terrible cold...and spent the entire day recovering in bed lmao

(happy birthday, Raf lmao).

[mediumgayitalian]

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———

Hades’ favourite thing to rant about is how much his family forgets about and sidelines him. Nico has literally never once given the lecture his full attention, because why the fresh fuck would he subject himself to that, but he discovers, lying facedown on the floor of Cabin Three, that he must have internalised enough of it to remember some key points.

He is loathe to admit it, but Father is right. How come the Poseidon cabin floors are so nice and comfortable? The floor of Cabin Thirteen sucks. Whenever he has Floor Time in his own cabin, he gets bruised and cold. Injustice.

“Could you suffer quieter? I’m trying to study.”

“Shut up, Percy.”

“I’m not the one groaning in misery.”

“Shut up, Percy.”

Percy sighs heavily. There’s a loud thud as he snaps his textbook shut, and the creak of mattress springs as he shifts.

“You’re so fuckin’ irritating, you know that?”

“Coming from you,” Nico says indignantly, pushing up to glare at him. Percy makes a face back. “I am here, having a crisis, being vulnerable in front of you —”

“Oh my gods.”

“— like you suggested, to rebuild our tenuous relationship —”

“I wish the prophecy had killed me. Either one, I’m not picky.”

“— and you are studying! Nose in a book! You hate reading! You are doing this just to spite me!”

“I am doing this to pass my classes,” Percy snips. “Someone should send you to public school. You need to experience that particular level of hell.”

“Experienced hell already, thanks. Don’t need a redo.”

“Tartarus references don’t shut me up, Zombie Boy. I’ve been there too.”

“Ugh.”

Percy rolls his eyes, turning back to his textbook. Nico contemplates rolling back on the floor to Ruminate and Think (after the second failure in a row he has a much to think about, like what the fuck is he supposed to do, should he even fucking bother, is he doomed to life without love, etc, etc) but finds himself, instead, sitting upright. Watching his — friend. Watching his heavy frown, listening to the bit-back curses and the crinkle of pages when he holds the book too tightly.

He’s moody, today. Sullen. Ate his breakfast in silence and stomped off to the sword fighting arena, raising hurricane downpour around the open theatre to deter anyone from joining him. Coincidentally, Annabeth has not been seen all day.

“Are you okay?” Nico asks quietly.

Percy shrugs, glancing over then glancing quickly away. “Fine.”

“I mean. You flooded half the camp. So.”

“Just drop it, Nico. If you’re going to stay in here, be quiet.”

Nico bites back the automatic, scathing retort. Be quiet, Nicolò! Lalalalala! Don’t tell me what to do! Ugh! I hate having a little brother! Yeah, well, I hate you too!

A quick, cut-off choking sound cuts through his thoughts. He looks up, startled, to find Percy’s face red, to find him swiping angrily at his cheeks.

“Woah,” he murmurs, climbing hastily upright. He ignores the loud chanting in his brain telling him to leave, the discomfort swirling in his stomach at seeing someone cry, seeing another man cry, instead hovering awkwardly. Percy shrugs off the hand he touches hesitantly to his shoulder, and Nico holds it there, suspended, in between and outstretched.

“I’m fine. Leave me alone.”

Nico hesitates. Of all people, he…nobody wants Nico around, when they’re —whatever Percy is. Upset. The only thing he can probably do is make it worse.

But what can he do? Leave him? Get Annabeth? Jason? None of it seems right. Instead he stands, frozen, hand still half-outstretched, eyes wide.

“You can —” He clears his throat. “Um. Did something happen?”

Percy shrugs. His eyes remain glued resolutely to his textbook, although the pages are wet and warped.

“Cause you can tell me, you know. I won’t — tell anyone. Or anything.”

Gods, he is so far out of his depth. Could Kampe come back and attack? That would be easier to deal with. Nico could handle that.

“I don’t —” the pages of the textbook crinkle under Percy’s grip — “it’s fucking stupid, is what it is.”

Hovering is not the right call. He knows that much. He scans the cabin, evaluating his options — sitting back on the floor feels like a bad plan. He doesn’t think any kind of touch would be welcomed, nor is he entirely comfortable in giving it. He doesn’t want to crowd. He doesn’t want to seem too distant.

Slowly, carefully gauging Percy’s reaction, he sits on the bed, across from him. He leaves the textbook between them, letting Percy keep pretending to read it, and tucks his legs up under his knees. He fiddles absentmindedly with his ring, chewing his lip every time Percy sniffles.

“Why’s it stupid?”

Percy shrugs again. Nico resists the urge to shake him. How does anyone deal with this shit? What the hell is he even supposed to do? He’s not Jason. He’s not Annabeth. Hell, he’s not Will, who seems to read emotions intuitively, who seems to know exactly what to do when someone is scared, when someone is upset. Even when someone is angry. He tries to imagine Will, in his position. Sitting across from a crying Percy Jackson, saviour of the world. Yesterday, one of the younger kids had tripped and scraped half the skin off their arm on the basketball court. Will had been there with a soft smile and gentle, glowing hands, speaking quietly and cracking small jokes until the kid was laughing again. Nico tries to imagine that here, soft words and lighthearted jokes. It doesn’t seem right. Would he — touch Percy’s wrist, like he did with Clarisse? Drag the fight right out of him?

Is Percy even angry? Nico has seen him angry before. Murderous. Fuming.

He’s never seen him cry.

Percy’s voice is like palms scraping hard over sharp gravel stones. “I made Annabeth cry this morning.”

The way he says it makes it hard for Nico to actually understand his words. His tone of voice is — volatile, is the best way he can describe it. Loathing. Based on the curling self-hatred dripping from the sentence Nico would assume he’d tried to kill her — he says I made her cry like he doesn’t deserve to live for it. Like he’s hoping to be punished.

“That happens,” Nico says. He swallows. “When you — love people.”

He and Bianca made each other cry a lot. He just never — stopped, never gave her half a second. Sometimes she looked at him and he knew she wanted to hit him. She never did. But he knew and she knew he knew and sometimes it would well up in her eyes, and she would lock herself in the bathroom of their room and turn on the sink and cry and cry and cry. And it ached something nasty in the cavity of his chest.

Percy sneers at his hands, flexing his fingers. “People who love you don’t make you cry. That’s just — hurting. That’s people who hurt everyone around them.”

Nico frowns. “That’s not true.”

“It is,” he says venomously. “I’m supposed to be — I’m supposed to protect her. I’m supposed to keep her safe, keep her from people who cause her pain.”

“People like you?”

Percy nods.

Nico drags his teeth over his bottom lip. He thinks of bleeding fingers clinging to a tiny shaft of rock, thinks of dangerous green eyes, hard voices; thinks of a thick web clinging to a broken ankle and an abyss. Thinks of promises and oaths and choosing. Thinks of falling. Thinks of letting go.

“People who want to harm Annabeth do not jump into the Pit for her.”

The pages of Percy’s textbook have started to dry. The ink has bled, dark splotches in perfect circles. The fountain bubbles gently behind them, mattress creaking under shifting legs.

“You don’t understand what I —” He pauses, swallowing. “Did, down there.”

“D’you hurt her?”

“…I scared her.”

“Oh, well — Christ, Percy! Is that really what this — brooding is about?” He scoffs. “No shit you scared her!”

“…What?”

Percy looks at him, wide-eyed. Nico rolls his eyes.

“Aw, when you were fighting for your life in the place meant to tear your essence into atoms, did you do things that make you question your personhood? Your morals?”

“I —”

“Of course you did, dumbass! Of course you —” he takes a breath, trying to organize the jumble of thoughts in his brain — “of course the physical manifestation of darkness and distortion made you act differently than you would usually, Percy. Of course it — affected you. Gods. Of course you’re struggling.” He flicks Percy’s knee, looking at him with exaggerated exasperation. “Use your brain, why don’t you.”

A small smile quirks the corners of Percy’s mouth, although it fades as quickly as it comes. He wipes his face with his sleeve, breath shuddering.

“She didn’t scare me, though.”

“Not even once?”

“Not in the same way,” Percy admits. “I was scared, once, when I looked at her. In the death mist. But that wasn’t — her, you know? She could never scare me.”

“I mean,” Nico wrinkles his nose, trying to articulate, “I think that’s kind of abnormal?”

Percy tilts his head.

“I just mean that you have a very high threshold, Percy. For…what you’ll tolerate from people you care about.”

“Everyone has that.”

“Not in the same way you do.” He taps his knuckles, considering. “Tell me the truth — if Annabeth stabbed someone to death in front of you, in total cold blood, would you help her hide the body?”

“Yes,” he says immediately. He shrinks, a little. “Oh.”

Nico rushes to assure, placing a fleeting touch on his wrist. “It’s not necessarily a bad thing. I don’t think. It’s just —” He shrugs. “I’m used to scaring people, too. I don’t mean to. I don’t understand it. I don’t understand what I — do, it’s not intentional.”

Percy opens his mouth, but Nico stumbles on.

“But you’re not — a monster, Percy, gods. No one thinks you’re a monster. Especially not Annabeth.”

Percy wiggles his finger under his watch strap, turning it tightly around his wrist, cutting off the circulation. Nico watches but doesn’t say anything.

“You’re not, either.”

Nico blinks. “Huh?”

“A monster,” he explains. “You’re not, either.”

“Oh.” Nico shrugs. “Thanks, I guess.”

“No, I mean it, dude, I — look. Listen.” Percy sighs. “You got baggage. I put some of it on you. I’m sorry.”

Hands around his — throat — angry, angry eyes — harder — bruising — you promised! you promised! you promised!

“It’s fine.” A pause. “I did shit to you, too.”

“It’s not fine. And I know you did. We can still —”

He doesn’t finish his sentence. He sighs again, a long, defeated sound, and curls in on himself.

“One day you’ll forgive yourself,” Nico murmurs. “One day I’ll — me too, I guess. Me and you.”

Percy smiles tiredly. “And we’ll be okay?”

“No. You’ll still be annoying.”

He snorts. “Whatever. Drama queen.”

“Oh, I’m the drama queen, Mr. I Don’t Deserve To Be Loved.”

Percy snorts. He turns back to his textbook, fiddling with the dried page, and snorts again, trying to duck his head. Nico bites the corner of his mouth, hard. Percy glances up again, and Nico meets his eyes, and they —

Gods, they’re bad at this.

But suddenly Percy can’t choke back his laughter, and it’s wheezing and self-deprecating and still kind of teary and Nico is laughing, too, because thank the gods that shit is over. Percy’s red-cheeked and Nico is red-cheeked and neither of them are going to look at each other for a week, Nico’s sure, but for now he can roll his eyes at Percy’s melodrama and dodge his embarrassed shoving, and it’s fine.

“You should talk to Annabeth,” Nico suggests, when the giggling has toned down.

Percy picks at the torn-up skin around his nails. “Probably.”

“Are you going to?”

“Why were you lying on the floor?” Percy asks instead. It is the least subtle subject change of all time, but Nico takes it as the hint it is and drops the subject. It’s not his business, anyway. They’ll talk. He knows Annabeth better than to think she’ll let it fester, at least.

“Oh, you know. Crushing weight of being alive, mortifying ordeal of being known, et cetera, et cetera.”

“Oh my gods. I’m sorry I asked.”

“Well, serves you right then, you selfish bitch.”

Percy snorts. “What, I cry all over you and now it’s your turn to vent?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s exactly how it works. Transactional and eye-for-an-eye. Exactly as friendship should be.”

“You’re not nearly as funny as you think you are,” Percy says, but he can’t tamp down his smile any more than he can stop his eyes from rolling, so there. Nico is exactly as funny as he thinks he is, thank you very much. A regular comedian.

Percy snaps textbook closed and sets it on the bedside table. “So.”

“So.”

Nico squirms. Suddenly he’s not sure why the hell he came in here in the first place. Are the floors in Cabin Thirteen really that bad? Surely not. Surely Floor Time didn’t have to be in Percy’s cabin.

(He blames Father for this. He’s horribly nosy. No doubt he’s passed his nosiness onto Nico, irregardless of his lack of DNA, and made Nico the way that he is. He can’t think of a single other reason he ducked into the cabin after lunch, when Percy still hadn’t shown his face.)

“Dude, come on. You came in here and whined and huffed and made a nuisance of yourself for literally forty minutes, and now that I’m giving you the attention you begged for you don’t want it? Nuh-uh. Spill.”

“There’s nothing to spill about,” Nico protests, “gods, can’t a man just complain in peace —”

“Ha! Not sure you can call yourself a ‘man’ if you’re voice is still cracking, squirt.”

“I literally hate you. Not joking.”

“Uh-huh. Okay.” Percy raises an eyebrow. “Well, since my guts are already spilled out and flopping all over the floor —”

“Disgusting.”

“—so it’s your turn, now.” He pokes Nico’s bicep. Nico bats him away, rolling off the bed and hitting the floor, scooting over to put more space between them. Thankfully, Percy doesn’t follow, and he exhales, settling his back against the bed frame. The mattress springs creak again as he readjusts. “You can tell me, you know.” Nico can hear the smile in his voice at the cheeky repitition. “I won’t — tell anyone. Or anything. Ahem.”

“You’re so annoying.” Nico picks at a loose thread in the knees of his pants, looping it around his finger.

Will thinks ripped jeans are stupid. He hadn’t said so outright, when Nico came back from his Aphrodite-Cabin-enforced shopping trip, but Nico had noticed his pursed lips and deliberately schooled face. When he’d pressed about it, pestering him until he’d given up with the very southern passive aggressive if you like, Nico, I love, don’t you worry about it answer, he’d gotten a forty minute rant about jeans that “sold less jean for more fuckin’ money” that made him laugh until he cried.

He yanks the thread and pulls. The hole widens.

“Oh my gods, you’re actually whipped. Is that what this is?”

Nico flushes. “Shut up.”

“It is!” Percy grins widely, wicked delight in his eyes. “You are literally thinking about him right now! You might as well be kicking your feet! You —”

“Shut up, Percy, gods.”

“I’ve never seen you so red,” he says instead, because he is incapable of following instructions. His smile fades, face softening into something more pensive. “You must really like him.”

Nico shrugs. Is that what he feels for Will? Gorgeous. I’ve been crushing on you forever. He likes a lot of people. You always know just what I need. A lot of people aren’t Will.

“He’s not scared of me.” No matter how much he fiddles with it, the metal of his ring is always cold. Cold hands, he supposes. He never heats up much. “Or. intimated. Creeped out. He thinks I’m —”

He clamps his mouth shut. A bubble of something expands in his chest, growing out of his lungs, past his shoulders, pushing his throat closed. He swallows, hard, trying to shove it back, but — Nico! Hey! You think I couldn’t stand to see a friendly face? No way, Death Boy, no more Underworld-y magic for you! I can literally feel you fading! My hands are still shaking — here, feel.

“Gorgeous?” The smile on Percy’s face is teasing, but much softer than before. “I heard he — said.”

Maybe it’s the redness of Percy’s nose that hasn’t quite faded, or his still-puffy eyes, but finally the bubble pops, and Nico sighs, tipping his head back until it rests on the edge of the bed. He closes his eyes. After a beat of hesitation, callused fingers brush through his hair, ruffling it, lingering awkwardly before pulling away. He smiles.

“Yes.”

“…Really? He just up and told you, that he had a —”

Percy stumbles on the words. Nico peeks one eye open and grinning wryly. “Yeah. He’s a hell of a lot braver than I am. Or maybe he’s just shameless.”

“He was always really intense about being your friend.” Percy screws up his face, tilting his head as if envisioning it. “I didn’t understand what that meant, at first. I didn’t get…the reason? Behind it? If that makes sense.”

“You forgot about gay people,” Nico says drily. “I know.”

“This is true,” Percy admits. He grins, sheepish. “That’s an L on my part. Every time me and Annabeth went looking for you he’d somehow know about it and ask us a bajillion questions when we got back. I just thought he was really into necromancy, or something, but now it’s like…damn.”

Nico covers his eyes with his hand, fighting back an embarrassed smile. He thinks your eyes are a tie between moonstone and agate, in case you were wondering. There is literally not a single soul in this camp unaware about how much he likes you.

“You’d think it would be easier to get him to go out with me, then.”

“It hasn’t been?”

Nico throws his hands up. “No! He doesn’t — I got him flowers, Percy, and he ground them up to make a poultice. He thought the rock I got him was a bribe. I open every door for him and I always pull out a chair for him at counsellor meetings. I make sure to stand up first when we’re sitting together and offer him a hand. I don’t know what else I can — do, gods.” He makes a noise of frustration, glaring at the ceiling. “I’m being as obvious as I can be. What am I gonna have to do to get him to realise? Fuckin’ — tattoo his name on my forehead?”

Percy slides his hand into his pocket, pulling out his pen. He twists it around his fingers, fiddling with the cap, picking at the plastic casing. He uses the end of it to trace mindless swirls on his thigh, which Nico can’t help but feel is dangerous. One wrong move and he better hope Nico can drag him to the fountain fast enough to stabilize him. But his eyes are far away, teeth gnawing on the inside of his cheek.

“There is a chance,” he says slowly, “that he…knows.”

Nico frowns, turning to face him properly. He looks resolutely at his lap. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I — well.” He does finally uncap his blade, staring at the soft glow of the bronze, rubbing his thumbnail over the leather handle. “I. Knew,” he says haltingly. “That Annabeth liked me. I —”

Nico watches him carefully. This is…news, to him. He didn’t keep up much on camp drama about the two of them — for obvious reasons — but he hardly had to. Even during his brief, one or two day stops at Camp, Percy and Annabeth gossip was impossible to avoid. People talked about them constantly, about how much they obviously cared for each other, how oblivious, especially, Percy was. It used to give him a twisted sort of hope.

“You…knew? And you didn’t do anything?”

Percy winces. “She got frustrated with hiding it. She kissed me, once, before I blew up St. Helens. And I just —” He shrugs. “I couldn’t believe that someone like her would want anything to do with someone like me.”

It’s impossible to miss his meaning, to miss the self-directed bitterness at the end of his words. Nico recognises it because he practically invented it. Someone like me. Someone disgusting, ugly, unworthy. Someone bitter and twisted and wrong. Someone so undeserving.

“I think Will is like me,” Percy continues softly. “That — insecurity.” He says the word quickly, like he might be able to hide it in the rest of the sentence. “I think he thinks very highly of you. And I think it’s hard for him to believe that you want to — to lower yourself, to be with him.”

“That’s inane,” Nico argues. “He’s — bright and kind and smart and — he’s fucking everything, what is he —!”

“He grew up a healer in a camp full of warriors. Full of talented people,” Percy murmurs. “When you’re surrounded by people who know what they’re doing, it’s easy to feel like a loser.”

Nico opens his mouth, closing it again. On principle he doesn’t agree with Percy. It doesn’t make sense. Every single person at this camp has relied on Will in more than one way for as long as he’s been here — as long as he’s been healing them. How could he not know what his purpose is? How could he not realise his talents?

Ace bandage, sound and unwound. Hard blue eyes, self-directed sneer. I’m just a healer.

“He’s not a loser,” Nico says eventually. “I don’t think he’s a — loser.”

Nico thinks he’s quite a bit more than that, actually. In fact if all words in the any language he knows, ‘loser’ is probably the least apt to describe him.

“How do I make him realise? Make him —”

Percy shrugs. “Took Annabeth several years and I still think I’m — well. I still struggle. You’ll have to be patient.” He glances over, and that mischevious smile is back on his face, the one that promises trouble and guarantees Nico an excuse to kick him. “Or, you know, you could just tell him that you think he’s bright, and kind, and smart, and beautiful, and —”

Nico does indeed kick him. He falls back against his pillow, laughing, curled against his side.

“I did not — I did not say beautiful,” Nico says hotly, “that was not on the list, you total jackass —”

Percy only laughs harder, no matter how many times Nico kicks him.

———

next

[ortegatargaryen]

Delivery Driver:

Tara Capenter x Fem!reader

Summary: you’re just a simple delivery driver. Your shift is going normal till you realise you have a pizza delivery to your crush’s house. You assume she doesn’t even know you exist, but when she invites you in she proves otherwise

Warnings: Bad writing lwk, fluff, slight smut near the end ig, alcohol use.

Disclaimer: this is my first time posting a one shot on here! So please be! I don’t mind advice just please be nice about it!

Also requests are open so please please make them!

You look at your phone as a new order goes through. You take a look at the address,

“Not too far from here” you mutter you don’t bother looking at the name of the order before walking inside the pizza restaurant.

You go into the kitchen,

“Hey Scarlett” you say, smiling at your friend, she turns to you.

“Hey Y/n! You here for another delivery?” She asks you,

“Yep! Last one of the night then I’m off” you say.

She hands you the pizza box and drinks, it’s not too heavy but it weighs your arms down ever so slightly, you put it into your delivery bag and make your way out to your motorbike.

Placing the bag securely into the compartment, you get on and put your helmet on.

You look at your phone, putting the address into your gps.

//-//

“It’ll be here soon!” Tara reassures Sam who’s been complaining about how hungry she is for the past hour. She loves her sister but when Sam’s hungry she never shuts up, she has to make sure the whole world knows, whining every five seconds that her stomach hurts.

Tara sighs and looks out the window, blocking out the sounds of Sam’s complaints, she smiles widely when a motorbike pulls up, she rushes to the door and opens it.

You look surprised when the door opens before you could even knock, you smile,

“Hi uh pizza delivery” You say, somewhat awkwardly, not fully looking at the girl, though she doesn’t look at you either, she’s too focused on the pizza,

“Yeah thank you” the short girl says, looking up at you.

You look at her, your mouth hanging open slightly. She has long brown hair, reaching just over her shoulders. freckles are scattered across her face. Her smile is spring but there’s autumn in her eyes, softly brown, with a hint of passing summer and the promise of winter dark and deep - Eyes you recognise.

“Wait…Y/n?” She asks, snapping you out of your day dream, you chuckle lightly,

“Oh my god Tara…you’re in my film class at college, right?” You ask, of course you already know the answer, she sits at the front row, second chair to the left nearest to the door.

Tara laughs and nods,

“Yeah I am, what a coincidence” she says with a short laugh.

“Yeah…I didn’t even see your name on the app” you say, handing her three large pizza boxes,

“Oh I ordered small pizza’s, these are larges…” she says, staring at the box.

“Oh…hold on” you check your phone,

“Oh it says here you ordered them in large” you say, showing her the phone, she frowns,

“Must’ve clicked the wrong button” she sighs.

“Happens to me all the time” you say, chuckling, she smiles at you,

“Well um…me and my friends probably won’t finish it all, and we’re having a kinda mini party, so if you want, you could come inside and eat with us?” She offers.

You chuckle and scratch the back of your neck,

“Um..” you take a moment to consider it, “oh fuck it why not, sure” you say.

Tara smiles and moves out the way of the door,

“You remember Mindy? She’s in our film class too, she’s here” She asks you. You both walk into the apartment together, you look around at the pictures she has up on her walls.

“Oh yeah, hey Mindy!” You greet her,

“Oh Y/n what’s up…” Mindy greets you, she gives a look with a smirk to Tara and a not so subtle wink, you raise a brow in confusion but wipe it off when Tara shows you all her friends, Chad, Mindy, Sam, Quinn, Anika and Ethan. You sit with Chad, talking about football.

“I have to admit, this isn’t how I thought my night would go” you say, taking a bite of a pizza, they all laugh,

“Sometimes the best things are unexpected” Quinn says,

“Since when did you get all wise and inspirational?” Sam jokes, making you all laugh.

Tara keeps sneaking glances of you, she can’t get her eyes off you, though that’s not out of the ordinary, she’s always like this in school.

Usually, she wouldn’t invite someone she only met a few days ago in this quickly, but something about you changed that. Maybe it was the aura you gave off. Maybe it was the way you always seemed slightly awkward whenever you talked to her, she found that adorable. Maybe it was the way your smile, which she always tried to steal a glimpse of in class, made her heart flutter or maybe she was just drunker than she thought. Probably all of the above.

“You guys have a nice apartment” you compliment,

“Thanks, we only moved in a month ago so it’s not fully furnished” Tara admits, you turn to her.

“Had a chance to look around the city yet?” You ask her, she shakes her head,

“Not yet…but I want to” she says.

You nod,

“I could take you sometime if you like, I’ve lived here my whole life so I know this place like the back of my hand” you offer, smiling hopefully.

Tara’s face lights up slightly.

“I’d like that…do you have a car?” She asks, you shake your head,

“I’ve got a motorbike though” you say.

Tara grins widely, grabbing your hands in hers,

“You have a motorbike?!” She exclaims, you chuckle at her enthusiasm and nod,

“Yeah I do…”

“Tara you’re not going on a motorbike” Sam says, Tara looks at her and frowns,

“Why?” She asks,

“Because they’re dangerous, no offence Y/n” she says, you nod understandingly.

“Sam it’s my life, you can’t just decide for me what I do with it” Tara says, your eyes widen slightly at the sudden outburst.

Tara let’s go of your hands as she starts bickering with her older sister.

“does this happen a lot?” You whisper to Chad, beside you, he nods,

“Yeah…a lot” he answers.

The girls continue to argue till eventually, Sam storms out to her room and Tara storms off into the kitchen.

“I’m gonna go check on Tara” you say to the others, they nod,

“Go get her tiger” Mindy jokes, you can’t help but blush and awkwardly scurry out the room.

You go into the kitchen and lean against the doorframe. Tara is on her tiptoes trying to reach a bottle of tequila that Sam put on the top shelf, purposely out of Tara’s reach.

“Need some help?” You ask,

“No…I can reach” Tara grumbles, she very clearly can’t reach, seeing as she’s two apples tall.

You chuckle and go over anyway, you go behind her, leaning up with one hand on her waist while the other reaches for the bottle.

You grab it and hand it to her, she smiles at you,

“Thank you…” she says, taking the bottle,

“No problem…just don’t get too drunk” you say.

“No promises” she jokes, grinning as she pours herself some. You lean against the counter, looking at her.

Your eyes trail over her outfit, the way it perfectly outlines her curves like always, she always picks the best outfits.

She once wore basic grey tracksuit bottoms and a baggy hoodie to school, yet still you’d never seen anything or anyone more beautiful. You don’t know how she does it.

Simp, is what your friends call you whenever they catch you watching Tara or whenever you compliment her.

“You good?” Tara asks, chuckling slightly at you as you gawp at her. You clear your throat, standing up straight as you nervously scratch the back of your neck,

“yeah yeah sorry, zoned out” you justify.

“Wanna go chill in my room? We can watch a movie maybe…” Tara recommends, you smile a bit at the idea and nod, a bit too eagerly,

“Yeah sure…” you answer.

After grabbing some snacks you both make your way into Tara’s room, she sets down the bowl of popcorn on her bed. She grabs the remote and turns on the tv, sitting down on her bed.

“Okay what movie?” She asks, you aimlessly walk around the room, looking at various things she has scattered around.

“um…The Babadook?” You request, her face lights up. You like The Babadook, that means more to her than you’ll ever realise.

“Yeah! I love that movie!” She exclaims, putting it on. You grin and sit down next to her,

“Yeah same…it’s so good” you say, leaning back against her headboard.

“Literally…like no other horror movies compare to it” she says, you chuckle and shrug,

“Well I wouldn’t say that” you trail on, she gasps and turns to you,

“Well what would you say is better?” She asks, you sigh and look at the tv, thinking about your answer.

“Halloween” you answer finally, her face drops into a look of disappointment, you turn to her and your eyes meet, you chuckle at her reaction, “what?” You ask.

“No way you just chose Halloween over The Babadook…” she mutters, astounded.

You let out a short laugh and shrug, turning back to the tv once more,

“I just prefer it…” you admit, you see her shake her head out the corner of your eye.

She has a small smile on her face, not an awkward smile or forced smile it’s more of a comfortable smile, like she’s happy where she is, and it‘s true, Tara has never felt more relaxed.

It was weird, though she barely knows you, but she feels as though she’s known you forever. Like you’re childhood best friends finding each other again after long separation.

With you she feels like she can be herself, she can show that geeky side of her without feeling embarrassed or worried you’ll mock her. She’s comfortable. Happy.

And she’s just realised she’s been staring at you for a solid hour, she mentally punches herself. The credits of the movie roll on the tv, you were probably so uncomfortable during that whole film. You turn to her with a smile.

But are slightly shocked when you realise she’s already looking at you, throughout the film you’ve wanted to sneak glances at her, but you’re worried it’ll make her uncomfortable. You didn’t even realise she was staring at you.

Tara quickly pulls her eyes away, clearing her throat,

“That was uh…yeah” she mutters, talking about the movie.

“Wanna watch Halloween?” You ask, she smiles a bit and nods, not speaking as she doesn’t trust her own voice. She’s so embarrassed she’ll probably blurt out something stupid.

You put the movie on, Tara focuses on the movie this time, being sure to not embarrass herself again. You on the other hand, you keep looking over at her, just like you do in school.

Your eyes flicking from the tv screen to her.

You notice something she does while watching. She has little reactions to what’s going on in the scenes, you chuckle slightly as she raises her eyebrows a bit, her mouth opens slightly when Micheal Myers brutally kills someone.

She looks at you, your chuckle gaining her attention.

“What?” She asks, realising you’re watching her,

“Nothing…just um watching your little reactions to the scenes…it’s cute…you’re cute” you say, smiling sheepishly at her.

Her ears burn red and so do her cheeks, she quickly looks down, trying to hide it making you chuckle again.

“You’ve gone a bit red” you comment, looking at her, she chuckles and looks at you,

“Shut up…” she mutters before leaning against your side, she gently rests her head on your shoulder.

Now it’s your turn to blush, and just like her, your ears go red, shortly followed by your face.

“Now you’re red…” she says into your neck,

“Oh shush…” you mutter.

Tara looks at you, with the way she’s sat, her lips are right by your neck. You can feel her warm breath against you it. Tara hesitantly moves in closer before laying a gentle kiss on your neck.

She moves away and lays down like nothing just happened, you look at her, shocked,

“Did you just kiss my neck?” You ask her.

Tara tries to hold back her laugh,

“What? No you’re hallucinating” she says, facing you.

You grin at her as she has a small smirk playing on her lips, you move closer to her, laying next to her, getting a sudden surge of confidence.

“Well good…cause if you did I would’ve told you that you missed” you say, she cocks a brow, trying to figure out what you mean.

“Huh?” She questions, you chuckle and move in closer, “how did I miss?” She asks, but instead of saying a response, you lean in, your lips meeting.

She gasps slightly but doesn’t pull away. She leans into the kiss, one of her hands going to your waist whereas one of yours goes into her hair, caressing through her it as you kiss her.

She opens her mouth slightly and you take the opportunity, sliding your tongue into her mouth, your salivas mixing as your tongue explores her mouth.

Though you keep one hand in her hair, you put the other on her waist, slowly trailing it down till your cupping her ass firmly, she lets out a quiet whimper into the kiss which only fuels you more.

Where she was laying on her side before you now push her so she’s on her back. Never taking your lips away from hers, you climb on top of her, straddling her waist.

“Oh my god ew!” A voice yells, you quickly get off of Tara, who whines in annoyance. She looks at the door to see Sam standing there, a hand over her eyes.

“Can’t you just knock?” Tara asks, frustrated, she grabs a pillow and covers her face to hide her embarrassment and the fact she’s blushing right now.

Sam moves her hand away from her eyes,

“Sorry…I was just gonna say Chad and Mindy are heading home” she says.

Tara puts the pillow back and sits up,

“Cool tell them I said bye” she says, trying to get this conversation over and done with.

Sam nods and looks at you expectingly, she clearly wants you to leave, probably not a great impression seeing you on top of your sister, making out with her.

“Uh I’m gonna go…” you say, getting up and grabbing your jacket, Tara sighs and nods,

“Alright…see you Monday” she says, sounding disappointed.

You smile at her,

“I’ll message you when I’m home” you tell her, her face instantly lights up,

“Okay…wait i don’t have your number” she says.

“Just message me on insta, we follow each other any way, I’ll send you my number then” you explain, she nods,

“Sounds good…” she says.

You lean over to her slightly, giving her a gentle peck on the lips, which she eagerly returns, following your lips for a bit as you pull away.

You smile at her one more time before walking out the room, giving Sam a polite and apologetic smile.

[laurenairay]

hopeless hearts just passing through - J. Hughes

This my entry for @wyattjohnston’s low-key lovefest 2k24 prompt list challenge. I chose “stop making promises you aren’t going to keep” from the angst list and “you’re the only person I wanted to see tonight” from the fluff list.

Summary: Jack had messed up, again. Can he make it up to you this time, or is it too late?

Words: 2.9k

Warnings: light angst, Jack being a dumbass, some bad language, fluff

Title from: I was made for loving you, by Tori Kelly

~

Thursday 28th December

[7.00pm] You’ve reached Jack. I’m obviously not here right now so leave me a message after the beep.

[7.25pm] You’ve reached Jack. I’m obviously not here right now so leave me a message after the beep.

[8.00pm] You’ve reached Jack. I’m obviously not here right now so leave me a message after the beep.

“Hey Jack, guess you’ve forgotten our call. Again. By now you probably have other plans tonight? Just… please give me a call when you listen to this.”

~

Friday 29th December

Morning came without a phone call. You didn’t know whether you were surprised or not, if you were being honest – this wasn’t the first time he’d forgotten to call you while on the road like he promised he would. This time though it felt different. Maybe it was because the two of you had spent a wonderful happy Hannukah & Christmas together only days before that hurt you the most. Maybe it was just because you believed Jack when he promised. Either way, this time you couldn’t let it go – it was a matter of principle.

You made it through your entire morning routine, getting washed and dressed for work, eating breakfast, packing your lunch into your work bag, before your phone started to ring. Jack. You glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall, wincing as you slipped into your shoes and grabbed your hooded coat, bag and keys on the way out the door. You weren’t going to be late, not for him.

“I’m on my way to work, I really can’t talk right now.”

You answered bluntly, pinning your phone between your shoulder and your ear as you put on your coat the moment you stepped into the elevator.

“I am so sorry baby.”

Really?

“That’s really all you have to say?” you snapped, picking your work bag up off the floor now that you’d zipped up your coat.

“What else can I say?”

You were stunned for a moment, lips parting. The nerve of this guy.

“Oh I don’t know, how about what you’re actually sorry for?” you said, the sarcasm in your voice barely hiding your anger.

You heard him huff out a breath, perfectly in time with the elevator doors opening on the ground floor of your apartment building.

“I’m sorry I missed our call. I know I promised to call you but I just totally forgot. The guys were all excited about a mario kart tournament and I really wanted Luke to finally get in on the action!”

“Please don’t blame your brother for your mistakes.”

Jack inhaled sharply over the phone. You could almost picture his mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of something to say, just as he usually did in person, so you just waited for him to speak as you trudged down the street to your usual bus stop.

“I’m sorry. For blaming Luke and for upsetting you. It won’t happen again, baby, I promise.”

Yeah, okay. As if that was the first time he’d said that.

“Stop making promises you aren’t going to keep,” you said sharply.

Jack was silent for a moment or two.

“What do you mean?”

His voice sounded so small, so quiet, like he finalised realised the depth of how badly he’d screwed up. Good.

“You know what I mean, Jack. I’m not asking for the world – I know your team will always be priority. I’m just getting sick of never even crossing your mind at all. Even a text to say a mario kart tournament had started last minute would’ve been better than being fucking ghosted by my own boyfriend,” you groaned.

Thankfully there was no-one else at the bus stop to hear your cursing.

“Baby, please, I can do better. I will do better.”

He was clearly panicking, voice full of desperation with whatever he was reading from your own voice. But you just sighed, not really sure what to say because this wasn’t the first time so would it really be the last? Could you really believe him?

Before you could think of an answer to his pleading, your bus came into view as it turned the corner onto your road. Clearly this was a sign.

“I have to go, my bus is here,” you said softly.

“No baby, wait please, I-”

You ended the call without letting him finish, already feeling a headache coming on as the anger washed out of you. This was the last thing you needed after the heartache of last night – his panicked pleading. It wouldn’t help his case when he was so far away, not when you were this frustrated with him. The best thing for you to do, rather than tumbling into saying something you would regret, would be to give yourself some space, some breathing room.

Something that Jack clearly didn’t agree with as he immediately called your phone again.

Thankfully the bus pulled up right at that moment, so you felt justified in ignoring him, slipping your phone into your pocket as you flashed the driver your bus pass, focusing on finding a seat for your commute.

It was all you could do to keep your face neutral, trying to ignore the overwhelmed tears stinging at your eyes as your phone continued to buzz for most of your journey.

~

As you suspected, your morning at work was terrible. Not only did your mild headache turn into a fully formed one, but you were clearly giving off ‘leave me alone’ vibes because your colleagues steered clear, leaving you to stew in your emotions in peace. Not even a walk outside during your lunch break did any good – you still had a headache, the food you packed was so-so, and you had three emails to deal with that were really not your problem.

Didn’t people know that sending emails between Christmas and New Year was pointless?

“Hey, you’ve got a delivery.”

You jerked your head up from your computer to see your office receptionist standing next to you with a gigantic bouquet of flowers – white and pink roses, to be precise, around three dozen. What the hell?

“Uh, thanks,” you murmured, forcing a quick smile as she passed the bouquet over.

You tried desperately to ignore the whispers and stares around you as you spotted a card. Really you knew there was only one person who would send you flowers, but you still opened the small envelope with shaking hands anyway.

‘I’m sorry. Jack xx’

A simple message but it still made your heart ache.

That, and it made your lingering headache pound more. This was so typical Jack, wanting to do some sort of grand gesture which in technicality was very sweet but also so not what you needed right now. You didn’t need the reminder that things were shaky between you two. You didn’t need the stares and attention from your colleagues, all of them now knowing that something was wrong from your reaction. And you didn’t need to carry the bouquet home on the bus with you, the unresolved tension between you and Jack hanging over you like an axe.

Or, well, like a bouquet of 36 flowers, bigger than your head.

“Oh honey, what did he do?”

You winced at the pitying voice of your colleague, smiling sadly as you shook your head.

“I’d really rather not talk about it,” you said softly.

She nodded, smiling sadly back.

“Well if you change your mind, message me and we’ll go for coffee,” she said, voice quiet, trying to give you a modicum of privacy.

You just nodded, thanking her quietly in response, and she left with a squeeze of your shoulder. She meant well, you knew she did, and hopefully this interaction would stop anyone else (especially those who loved to stir drama) from approaching you too.

It was all you could do to put the flowers on the side of your desk, trying to ignore everything they represented. You had work to do – thinking about Jack right now was not going to do you any good.

When your phone buzzed a couple of hours later though, you still read the messages that Jack sent, one after another coming in.

~

[3.22pm]

From: Jack I got an email saying the flowers had been delivered. I chose white and pink roses to symbolise how much I love you and my loyalty and how sorry I am. I know that I messed up and I understand why you’re upset with me. But please give me a second chance?

~

He'd looked up flower symbolism. He specifically chose white and pink roses because of their meaning. What were you supposed to do with something so romantic when you were this frustrated with him?

Fuck.

With a sigh you pulled up the Devils schedule on your phone, confirming the date in your mind that he’d be back from his roadtrip. He was still in Ottawa today and then Boston tomorrow…but he would be back on New Year’s Eve. You could work with that.

~

[3.35pm]

To: Jack The flowers are beautiful. Thank you. I am still upset with you, but I will hear you out. If you want to talk, come to mine on NYE. I have no plans.

~

The two of you hadn’t discussed any parties or plans at all for New Year’s Eve, even though you had assumed Jack would’ve dragged you somewhere in the end. But this was better. You needed time alone with him because there was no way you could face him for the first time after all this while surrounded by other people. Putting the ball in his court was the only way to keep your sanity at this point.

With another sigh you put your phone down, raking a hand through your hair as your eyes lingered on the colourful blooms on your desk. They really were beautiful.

You weren’t surprised when it took mere minutes before your phone buzzed again.

~

[3.37pm]

From: Jack I’ll be there. I promise.

~

Saturday 30th December

[11.15pm]

To: Jack Sorry about the loss. You’ll get the Bruins next time.

~

[11.20pm]

From: Jack Thanks ❤️

~

Sunday 31st December

You hadn’t spoken to Jack since texting him after yesterday’s defeat. Mostly because you knew he was travelling, but also because you knew that him coming over to yours tonight was when you really needed to speak.

For some reason you were a little nervous. You didn’t know what it was really that had you furiously cleaning your apartment, but those fizzing bubbles ran all through your body the whole day. It didn’t help that you had no idea what time Jack would come over. Assuming he was still coming over, that was. No, he had promised, and he knew how you felt about promises. At least you hoped he had learned his lesson on how you felt because you weren’t sure of how much more you could take.

Tonight had to be your deciding factor on protecting your heart, you knew that much.

When you’d scrubbed and rearranged and hoovered all that you could, you showered and dressed up in a comfortable black velvet tea dress, curled your hair and put on a little make-up before putting some wine in the fridge to chill. It was New Year’s Eve after all, and you knew that if Jack didn’t turn up by 9pm, your friends had insisted that you go over to theirs to celebrate the new year together. It felt good to know that you had a safety net because if Jack didn’t show tonight? You were done. And you knew you’d need the support of your friends to get you through.

Fuck.

You really hoped he showed up.

When it got to 6pm, you put some soft music on, hoping to drown out the silence of your apartment, feeling like an idiot for just sitting around waiting for him. What if he didn’t show up? What if he let you down again? What if this was the end of your relationship? What if…

Bzzzzz

The buzzer for your apartment crashed through your swirling thoughts and you quickly jumped to your feet, cheeks heating with how ridiculous you felt.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me. Can you let me up?”

Jack. He came.

You didn’t answer, just pressed the button to let him in, trying to keep yourself calm as you paced to and forth while you waited for him to take the elevator up to your apartment. In all reality it didn’t take long, but after the last few days it felt like a lifetime.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

You huffed out a laugh at your awkward greetings, stepping aside to let him in.

“Thanks, uh, for inviting me over,” Jack said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Wasn’t sure what time you would come. Or what you were doing tonight,” you murmured, shutting the door behind him.

Jack groaned, walking further into your apartment, you following silently. “I should’ve texted. Fuck, I should’ve told you exactly what time I was coming over, but I got so caught up trying to find the right thing to wear and dropping Luke off early at Nico’s and…”

Oh bless his heart. He was going straight into it then.

His rant trailed off as you pressed a finger to his lips, responding to your amused smile with a shy one of his own.

“You look great, Jack – you always do,” you said simply, dropping your hand back to your side, “But I actually meant if you had other plans around this like parties you were going to go to.”

Jack immediately shook his head, face more serious than you’d ever seen it.

“You’re the only person I wanted to see tonight,” he said firmly.

Oh fuck. Your breath hitched in your throat at his words, Jack taking the chance to hold both of your hands.

“I messed up. I know I messed up. I haven’t been treating you with the respect you deserve and missing even one call with you without letting you know why is unacceptable…”

Wow. This was far more than you had ever expected from him, and your heart ached with the emotion he was putting into his thoughts. Maybe he’d rehearsed this with Luke, maybe he was winging it, but you could tell in his eyes that he meant every word. He was right – you hadn’t been respected like you deserve. Could he really turn himself around though?

“…I really am sorry, baby. I love you so much and I can’t bear the thought of losing you. Please, will you forgive me?”

The confidence in his voice wavered a little, voice cracking with the emotion of his words, and you felt a pang radiate through your chest. You’d never seen him look so vulnerable before. Maybe you needed to see it.

As you formed your thoughts, you kept your hands in his, squeezing to let him know you were processing so he didn’t panic or shut down. That was the last thing you wanted or needed. This was a lot, and it was important that you said what you really meant.

“I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting to dive straight into this.”

Jack winced slightly, lips parting, but you shook your head. No, it was your turn now.

“You really hurt me, Jack. I appreciate that you understand that, but it still doesn’t change the fact that I was hurt. I don’t ask for much and you couldn’t even give me the bare minimum,” you started.

The whimper that escaped from his throat just about broke your heart, but you barrelled on.

“I deserve more. I deserve better. I deserve respect, you’re right. I just…I really hope you’re the one that can give that to me,” you said softly.

As your words sunk in, a hopeful smile quickly spread across his face.

“I get a second chance?” he grinned, making you huff out a laugh.

“Yeah, Jack, you do. But you won’t get a third. I don’t like feeling like I don’t matter and you can’t do that again,” you said, hoping he understood how serious you were.

Jack nodded, squeezing your hands.

“I won’t let you down, baby. I almost lost you once by being a careless asshole, I won’t lose you again,” he said, smiling.

Oh how that smile gave you butterflies.

“I love you,” he said again.

It didn’t matter how long you’d been together or how many times he said it – hearing those words fall from his lips made your heart race every single time.

“I love you too,” you said, finally smiling back.

Jack whooped, throwing his head back in celebration, making you burst out in laughter, even more so as he dropped your hands to wrap his arms around your waist, picking you up to spin around in a circle. Ridiculous, ridiculous man.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.”

You just clutched at his shoulders as he murmured the words over and over again in your ear, hoping that this time, his words would be true.

[gay-dorito-dust]

So like, hear me out, bill can get drunk from like alcohol, (or something weird inter dimensional drink) but either way he can get drunk like a human. Does that also mean he can get sick? Can you make a bill x reader where reader is taking care of Bill while he's sick and it's basically just:

reader: lie the fuck down man, your sick as shit

Bill: NO, I DON'T *NEED* REST, I'M AN ALL SEEING GOD WITH INFINITE POW- *fucking passes out*

‘Bill please go back to bed.’ You groaned for what felt like the tenth time that day when you saw the floating silhouette of the triangular demon from the doorway

‘No! I’m not like you flesh bags! I don’t get sick!’ He says as he then proceeds to cough an abnormal amount, to say that Bill’s coughing fit sounded like the pits of hell opening up was an understatement, you still remembered that he sent someone insane when they accidentally saw his endoskeleton when he was eating. Even the thought of that made you uneasy and a little queasy.

‘Well what would you call that?’ You replied sarcastically as you moved to look at him, unimpressed when you saw he had draped himself with the blanket you gave him like he was fighting off the cold within him, and wearing blue striped pyjamas all the while his eye/mouth was half lidded and almost lifeless looking. In that moment Bill cipher didn’t look like the all knowing and powerful demon, but instead a sick little puppy that was too stubborn to listen to commands from someone else.

‘Realising the demons.’ Bill snarled, he moved to look at what you were doing that was so important that it made you leave the bed so early. ‘What’re you doing, aren’t you supposed to be serving me like you flesh bags should?’ He then asked as he floated to your side to stare down at the pot of soup as though it had insulted him. ‘I’m making you soup for your sick little self your ungrateful shit.’ You said as you gently pushed him aside so that you could make sure that you weren’t burning the soup by overindulging him with your attention.

‘Has it got deer teeth in it?’ Bill then asks, his voice was rough from all the coughing and he looked at though he winced with every words, and without hesitation you offered him a soothing cherry cough sweet, and for once Bill didn’t fight you on this and popped it into his eye/mouth, letting you knew it was indeed bad if the dream demon wasn’t putting much of a fight about being treated as though he was weaker.

‘Unfortunately no it does not have deer teeth in it, besides I don’t know what the boiling point of deer teeth would be, if they had one.’ You tell him as you began to ladle some of the soup into a small bowl. But before you could blink, bill snapped his fingers and soon enough there was a layer of small, half melted deer teeth on top of his soup. You looked over at him just to see him shrug beneath the blanket you gave him.

‘Deer teeth makes everything better, you flesh bags are so far behind on the times.’ Bill said condescendingly as he made some deer teeth appear in his small hands but before he could eat one of them, you were quick to snatch them away from him as he cried out in surprise. ‘Give them back!’

‘Not until you eat your soup and go back to bed.’ You told him sternly as you held the packet of deer teeth away from the whiney sick dream demon that was currently pressing himself up against the side of your face.

‘Which one do you want me to do? Bed or soup, you humans are so unnecessarily confusing.’ Bill whines again but this time he couldn’t find the strength to keep himself floating as soon he was resting in the crook of your arm, fighting back the need for sleep out of a necessity to prove that he was above such a thing as illness, but found himself snuggling up to your warmth more so then ever. ‘I am the almighty bill cipher and I will not..not let this…illness get the better of the dream demon.’ He murmurs to himself and you couldn’t help but smile at how cute he could be when he’s not making your life a living hell.

‘Sure you are, now let’s get you to bed your stubbornness.’ You said as you carried bill in one arm and his deer teeth laced soup in the other after you finished up ladling his soup and putting the pot in the sink to wash at a later date, before making your way back up to your room as Bill murmurs threats as he looks up at you with a half hearted glare.

‘I could end you weakling, I really could so I wouldn’t try me.’ He would say but with his sore voice, blanketed form, and striped pyjamas, you couldn’t help but feel as though you were being intimidated by a sick puppy.

‘I know you can.’ You replied.

‘Don’t mock me.’ Bill whines once more as he threw a weak punch to your bicep with his small hand. ‘I am not needing anyone to look after me, I can do it by myself.’ He adds as though flaunting his hyper independence.

‘I’m not mocking you, I’m helping you and secondly that didn’t even hurt, and thirdly what do you normally do when get sick?’ You asked as when you arrived to your room you placed bill down on the bed, setting the soup aside on the bedside table as you tucked bill tightly beneath the covers. The triangle demon shrugs as he feels his mind becomes foggy with the need to sleep, he hasn’t felt this weak in a long, long time and now here he was being pampered and looked after by someone he deems weaker by comparison; He hates it but there wasn’t much energy left in him to do anything other than sleep.

‘Nothing because I’m not of a weakling species like you.’ He replied and you scoffed.

‘Sounds about right, anyways go to sleep and you can have your cold ass deer teeth soup when you wake up.’ You told him as you stood up to leave the room, only to feel a little hand grab ahold of your shirt but as you looked at him to say something, bill was already asleep but his grip on your shirt was tight. So you sat yourself down on the chair by the bed, trying to make yourself feel comfortable before falling asleep yourself, knowing the this scenario will repeat until the bastard felt better again.

So until then, you could rest without having the worry that a floating Dorito chip wasn’t going to faint on you anytime soon.

[tootiecakes234]

Katsuki Comfort

This…. This is exactly why you tried to stay off of social media. Nothing good ever came from it.

Being a pro hero, you and Katsuki’s names were constantly in headlines.

Most of the times on the news, it’s for the great things the both of you do and it’s separate depending on the missions you both go on.

But online is another story. Apparently the general public didn’t think the two of you belonged together. All over fan pages and popular accounts saying how they thought he would look better with Uravity or Deku.

They either said they looked better with him,and seriously what the fuck does that even mean?? Or that he seems to have better chemistry with them.

Seeing it once or twice wouldn’t have killed you, but you’d fallen into a rabbit hole… and now you were spiraling and at some point you started to agree with them.

Maybe someone that looked and acted like you wasn’t good enough for Great Explosion Murder God: Dynamight. Maybe you just didn’t measure.

You weren’t even in the top 20 hero’s like the other two were. So why in the hell was he settling for you? Why is with you if-

“Hey y/n. I’m home. Where the hell are you?”, you heard Katsuki shout from the front door.

You quickly shut your laptop and tossed you phone on the bed. The next thing you know he’s bursting through your room door with a frown on his face.

“What the hell is your problem?”, he asked

“What are you talking about?? You just walked in here. Why do you think I have a problem.”

“Cause usually your ass is like an excited puppy, rushing my ass at the front door and today…. Nothin. So answer my damn question would ya?”

“I’m not a fucking dog Katsuki. I don’t have to be waiting for you and wagging my tail because you came home to me.” You snapped back at him and you immediately regretted it. You were taking your insecurities out on him but they were too much and you were hurting too bad.

When you looked up at him Kats mouth was set in a stern line and he’d crossed his arms. He looked like an unmovable wall. His eyes were locked on you like he was waiting for you to say something else.

But you couldn’t. There was already a lump in your throat and you knew if you started talking, the tears would 100% start flowing.

“You gonna stop acting like damn child and use your fucking words? I got all day to sit here.” There was no malice in his voice. No irritation.

“It’s nothing.” It came out as a murmur as you were getting up and making a swift exit for the bathroom. You didn’t want to be around him right now. Didn’t wanna say anymore hurtful things.

You almost made it too, but of course that freakishly inhuman speed of his caught you off guard yet again.

His hand wrapped around your wrist and spun you back to him.

“Can you please let go of me?” Now it was a whisper. A whisper and the first tear falling.

“ I’ll let you go after you tell me what’s got you this upset. You pissed at me about something? Your period about to start?? What the hell is it?” Asking again but the time his other hand was tilting your chin up to look at him.

The time your eyes made contact with him the dam holding back those tears broke and babe it was not a pretty cry. It was an ugly, blubbering, gross cry.

This isn’t the first breakdown Katsuki has seen you have and he’s gotten pretty good at handling them with you. So he wraps you up is his strong arms and just holds you. He tucks your head under his chin and gently sways back and forth like he’s coddling a small child. His hand is rubbing up and down your back.

Everyone knows Dynamite and a lot of people know the attitude on Bakugo.

But you were the only one who knew how patient and loving Katsuki is. The way he cares for you…. Even when you feel like you don’t deserve it.

Eventually the sobs calm.

“M sorry. I- I d-didn’t mean to get upset with you. I- I just- Are you sure you’re happy with me Katsuki…..am I really enough for you?” You were mumbling into his chest but you were sure he’d heard you with the way his breathing slowed and his arms tightened around you.

“Oh…. Now I get it. You’re not pissed and it’s not your period. You’ve just completely lost your damn mind…”

“I’m not crazy. I’m being serious!” You tried to pull away from. Retreat back into yourself but the man was stubborn and had arms made of steal apparently.

“Look woman I love you. Is that not enough?”

“Well people don’t care about that. You are a top 3 hero. You’re smart and talented and hot. You should be with someone…. Idk… more than me I guess. I’m just scared one day you’re gonna realize you could do a lot better than settling for me.” You said all that with your ear pressed to his chest and the loud thump of his heart in your ear.

“Look, I’m gonna say this once so make sure your ears are open woman.” He pushed you back from him so he could peer into your eyes when he spoke. “I don’t give af what anyone else thinks. You already know that. I love you. You’re a nutcase and you grind my fucking gears to no end, but there ain’t anybody else in the fucking world id be willing to put up with. I don’t like people! And I love you. That’s all you need to know. So cut this I could do better bullshit out…. Doesn’t get any better than you.”

He kept eye contact the entire time. Even when the silent tears started spilling over. He just took his thumb and wiped them away.

“You know what I hate though”

“What?” You sniffled

“I really fucking hate the way you make me say sappy ass shit like this. It’s fuckin embarrassing.” It sounded like he was exasperated but that goofy ass grin was still etched on his face.

A watery smile started pulling at your lips. Your boyfriend was the sweetest jerk.

“ ‘sides. I already got a ring. So ain’t no turning back.”he threw that in there like he was talking about the freakin weather!

He bent down and placed a kiss on your wet lips.

“What ring??!?? You bought a ring!?!”

“Yea so stop your damn “you could do better bullshit”. You’re stuck with me.” And he started walking away towards to bathroom. “And uh- it’d be awesome if ya said yes” as he shut the door to the bathroom closed.

You didn’t know what to do with yourself. You went to the bed and flung yourself on it.

He was gonna propose to you….. he already bought a RING!!!!

You were gonna be Mrs. Bakugo!

I guess you were still giggling to yourself and laying down on your back when he came out of them bathroom.

“Yea I’m convinced you’ve actually lost your mind. Sitting there smiling and laughing like a psycho.”

Before you could get up, his damp form was hovering over you.

“I don’t know if you’re aware, but I gotta thing for crazy chicks.” He has the biggest, sexiest smirk on his face.

“Oh yea… well you’re in luck hot stuff.”

*Ummmmmm… this is sooooo long. But I wanna do a smutty part 2. Cuz he’s nice now but Kats does not take well to you down playing how amazing you are.

Katsuki Masterlist

[lizard-on-a-window-pane]

5 times you and Miguel walked away from each other and 1 time you didn't

pairing: Miguel O'Hara x reader notes: brother'sbestfriend!Miguel, soccerplayer!Miguel, college au, slow burn, somewhat mutual pining but written from reader's perspective more exclusively, SFW - only slightly suggestive (worst thing is probably a boner), fem reader (pretty neutral though), saying soccer instead of football felt so dirty but oh well, thank you for reading!! word count: 5.9k

You’re having your first lazy day in forever. It’s the first day in recent memory that you didn’t have something to do or somewhere to be. You’re just going to hang out in your apartment and watch your favorite shows or read for fun for once or whatever else you feel like doing. Because you don’t have to go anywhere, you don’t even take a shower, opting to stay in your comfy pajamas, not bothering with any makeup or hair effort, as you lounge around. 

You have the place to yourself now, but you share it with your twin brother Alex, the two of you lucky enough to go to the same university. 

When you eventually hear his keys scratching at the door, you’re sprawled on the couch reading a novel you’d left half-finished for ages despite actually really enjoying it. School really had a way of making you not read. Or at least never full books. 

As Alex opens the door, you’re surprised to hear him talking to someone else. You see his unexpected guest a moment later from your spot on the couch, your college apartment rather small after all. And you’re mortified. Miguel. Alex’s best friend, university soccer team superstar, ridiculously attractive Miguel. 

God, why did Alex not warn you he was bringing someone over? All it took was a quick message, for fuck’s sake. And Miguel of all people? Ugh. Well, it wasn’t like you could tell him. “Hey, brother dear, I have a huge crush on your best friend, so can I please get a warning next time he’ll be around? You know, especially so I’m not looking like a total mess when he shows up?”

He’d been coming over a lot recently actually. He and Alex were both on the soccer team and happened to share a few classes too, so their schedules really lined up. Usually, it was nice to get to see him. It’s not like either of them paid that much attention to you when they were hanging out, but Miguel was nice to look at. Even now, they seemed like they were coming back from a casual soccer match or something, and he still looked amazing. His thick, dark hair was messy in the way that made you want to run your hands through it; his t-shirt hugged his unreasonably broad chest and shoulders perfectly, and his sweatpants — fuck, his sweatpants — his ass looked miraculous as he turned to put his gym bag down.

Miguel’s looking at you as he and Alex step into the living room. “It’s Saturday, Y/N, and the weather’s finally fucking nice. Why’re you reading a book? You’re such a nerd,” Alex snaps as he plops onto the couch next you, pushing your legs off to make room. 

“I’m a nerd because I’m reading a book? Am I am tomboy because I’m not wearing a dress, too, or are we keeping it to one stupid superficial stereotype?” 

Miguel chuckles as he sits on Alex’s other side. “Cut him some slack, Y/N, he took a soccer ball to the head today. Might be making him even more of an idiot than usual.” 

You can’t help but worry; you love the idiot after all. 

“You okay? Was it bad?” you’re asking as you run your hand over his head looking for bumps. “I’m fine, mom,” he mocks, pushing you away. “And you? You asshole,” he accuses Miguel playfully. “‘Took a ball to the head’?” he repeats, then turning to you adds, “It was him that kicked it!” Miguel starts laughing.

“It was the perfect setup, man. Not my fault you were distracted.” “Whatever,” Alex says as he reaches for the video game remotes. Knowing them, it was time for FIFA.

You’re eager to hide with how you look right now anyway, so you get up to head into your room. “We didn’t mean to kick you out,” Miguel starts kindly. “ You don’t have to go; you were clearly comfortable here.” “Clearly comfortable”? God that sounded bad in your head. He was “super hot”; you were “clearly comfortable.”

“Thanks, Miguel. It’s fine. I was going to —“ but you don’t finish your excuse as you trip on the remote’s charging wire as you step across, falling unceremoniously to your face right in front of them. 

“Mierda!” Miguel yells.

Alex immediately asks, “You okay?,” but it’s Miguel who’s up and over you in the same instant.

“You alright?” he asks softly as his hands grab your hips to help you up. 

His hands on you were the last thing you needed right now. So much for composure. “Fine. Really,” you say, your breath shaky. You’re kneeling on your living room floor; Miguel’s squatting in front of you, close; his hands haven’t left your body even though you’re no longer prone. He just watches you closely, eyes beautiful and concerned. You stare back into them, and after a couple more shaky breaths finally manage to stand up and step away, looking anywhere but at him. “‘M fine,” you repeat. You turn away hurriedly and go the few steps to your room. Once safely behind closed doors, your face scrunches and your stomach sinks at the sheer embarrassment. 

~

It’s been days since Miguel was at your apartment, and part of you is happy for the lack of pressure but another part of you still gets a funky feeling in her gut at the idea that the last memory of you he had was of a clumsy mess. He and Alex have a game today, and pretending to convince yourself that you just felt like it today, you make yourself up more than usual for it. You’re actually pretty happy with your look as you head out to meet some friends at the match. 

They win. Miguel scores. Twice. Alex’s defense is probably the main reason for their clean sheet. 

So, hyped up on adrenaline and victory, they’re laughing and messing around with their teammates as a bunch of people approach the sidelines to congratulate them. Alex spots you and makes a goofy face, always so playful when he’s happy. He jogs over to you and gives you a huge hug.

“Stop, you’re so sweaty!” you squeal. He just holds you tighter and rubs his sweaty hair on you, laughing. When he finally pulls away, Miguel is standing right next to him, smiling at the two of you. “Do I get a hug too?” he teases. “I scored two more goals than he did!” 

You’re not sure if he’s kidding, and you’re sure the chuckle you give in response is somewhat tense.

But, stepping toward him, you just say, “Congratulations,” and wrap your arms around his shoulders without getting too close. Damn, they were like boulders. Miguel wraps his arms around your waist and closes the distance you’d maintained, giving you a surprisingly intimate embrace. You’re struck by the feeling of him around you. He’s sweaty, too, and you can smell his musk, but instead of off-putting, you find it incredibly arousing. You can feel the rise and fall of his breathing where your chest is flush with his. He’s so warm, and you just want to breathe him in and trace every ridge of his body. But the hug is already lingering too long to be normal, and you pull back a bit awkwardly. Miguel is still looking at you, a subtle smile on his face. 

He seems about to say something when a high pitched squeal right next to you startles you. 

“Miguel!” a very pretty girl yells at him as she approaches, unabashedly jumping onto his back. She’s in a cheer uniform. “Oh my god, you were so good!” Miguel’s so sturdy, her jumping on him didn’t throw him off physically, but his face looks a little flustered. “Uh, thanks,” he says politely, putting her down. She just giggles and grabs his arm as she compliments him again. 

You feel so awkward watching this, so you just turn around and walk away. You don’t see Miguel looking after you.

~

You’re at the after party with a couple of your friends. The soccer team was quite popular, and the victory parties tended to be good. You’re mostly having fun, but you can’t help but keep looking over to where Miguel is. Man of the match and man with that face, he was obviously the center of attention. People were coming up to congratulate him left and right. He handled it all so graciously. It shocked you how there was no arrogance in his demeanor; he was just the easygoing life of the party. 

You wanted to go talk to him too, but you’d already congratulated him and didn’t know what else you would say. The last thing you wanted was to embarrass yourself again. You could go talk to your brother, who was right next to him, but he was busy flirting, and you didn’t want to ruin it for him. 

A bunch of people are dancing in the open space between you and Miguel, and the chaos lets you sneak long looks at him without his noticing. But when your friend leans over and asks, “Who do you keep looking at?,” you realize you have to be less obvious. “No one, just curious who Alex is flirting with,” you lie, proud of how quick you were with it. 

“You a jealous, protective sister type?” she laughs. 

“No, just curious.” “Is he?” “What?” “Protective?”

“Um, sometimes, depends. Why?”

“Because that guy over there keeps checking you out.” She nods toward an okay-looking guy chatting with someone on the edge of the dance floor. A second later, he was indeed looking over at you. “You should go talk to him!” “Oh, I don’t know. I’m not so interested.” “Why not? He’s hot! I’m pretty sure he’s on the team too. You don’t have to marry him, Y/N, just go dance! You’ve been weirdly tense all night.”

You look over again, and your eyes meet. Before you can do anything else, he makes the decision for you, walking over to you.

“Hey.” “Um, hi.” You exchange names and pleasantries, and he asks you if you want to dance. Without thinking about it, you glance toward the person you really wish you were dancing with. To your surprise, Miguel is already looking toward you. He looks less happy than before. You look back at this guy quickly, hoping neither of them noticed. 

You feel slightly bad thinking this, using this guy you weren’t super interested in, but you couldn’t help but feel it’d be nice if Miguel saw a side of you that might make him think of you differently, not just as Alex’s sister. It’s just a dance anyway, so, you accept the offer and head to the dance floor. 

You fall into a rhythm with the music, with the guy. The dancing is fun; the guy is fine. Your back is to Miguel, and you can’t resist spinning to catch another glimpse, doing it seamlessly as you keep dancing. Your breath catches when your eyes meet his. 

Miguel watching you from across the room is doing much more to turn you on than anything your current dance partner is doing, but you channel your new energy into your movements. It’s not a well thought out decision, though in the back of your mind you know who it’s for, but you start moving a bit more suggestively. You let your hips follow the music, let your hands come up to your hair as your body rolls rhythmically. Feeling especially bold, you even manage to meander closer to where Miguel is, giving him a better view. 

Unbeknownst to you, this unfortunately also makes Alex, now unoccupied, notice you for the first time. You don’t hear him leaning over to Miguel and saying, “Gross. I hate seeing my sister with random guys. Let’s go get more drinks.” He drags him away, and Miguel, unable to come up with a good reason not to follow, does. 

The next time you spin, all you catch is the backs of their heads.

~

The following week, you’re coming home from classes, and all you can think about is eating. You’d had to skip lunch to finish an assignment and couldn’t wait for dinner. 

When you enter your apartment, you find Miguel sitting on your couch. 

“Hey,” he greets. “Hi.” He’s sitting on the edge of the sofa closest to you, and he adorably shifts over to make room, as if you couldn’t just go around. You weren’t planning on sitting anyway, but now that he’s wordlessly extended an invitation, you do. “Where’s Alex?”

“Went to take a shower. We’re gonna play a couple games when he’s done.” He gestures toward the video game console. “Are the remotes charged?” you joke. “I hear it’s a hazard to have the wires across the living room floor.” Miguel chuckles lightly at your self-deprecating humor. He’s turned toward you, sitting in the middle of the couch, his elbow on the backrest as he occasionally messes with his luscious hair. “I felt so bad that day. Taking over your space and tripping you. When you looked so peaceful when we got here.”

“Don’t feel bad,” you laugh, amused but also masking your stirring feelings at the fact that he had thought about it at all. “I was just a mess that day. And I wouldn’t call my pyjamas peaceful, just comfortable. In my defense, though, I wasn’t expecting company.”

“I liked your pyjamas,” he teases, and you roll your eyes. “What? I did! I’m all for comfy clothing; have you not noticed 90% of my wardrobe is gym clothes?”

“Yes, well, you can get away with it. You’re a guy, and you look like that,” you say, gesturing at his body before you really realize what you’re saying. You tense as soon as you do. It just slipped out, the conversation getting weirdly easy and comfortable with him. “Like what?” he asks, but he’s smirking, knowing what you meant. You just roll your eyes again. “No, c’mon, chula, like what?” He lifts his eyebrows in challenge, mirth in his eyes. You’re too busy reeling from the pet name to have mental energy to come up with a retort. You’re grateful for what would’ve otherwise been embarrassing: your stomach grumbling. Miguel looks at your stomach and giggles. “Hungry?”

“Starving,” you say, taking the escape route and walking to the adjoining kitchen. He follows. “You can get away with it too, you know,” he says nonchalantly. You think you know what he means but look back at him questioningly. “The clothes. You always look good.” 

You’re glad you’re not facing him, your expression probably revealing your excitement. “Thanks.” “You’re welcome.” He leans on your counter. “So what are you having?” “I don’t know, whatever we have. Haven’t had time to go to the store.” You’re rummaging through your cabinets. “I can make you something,” he offers. You stop and look at him. “What? I’m a great cook,” he shrugs defensively. “Have you never had my tamales?”

“It’s not about you being good or not,” you giggle. “There’s no reason you should have to cook when you’re just here to hang out.” 

He just shrugs again, but there’s a tinge of shyness in his typically confident facade. 

You turn to open your fridge, and he comes up right next to you. “Oh shit, you guys have jarritos. Can I steal one?”

“Yeah, of course,” you laugh. “Grab whatever you want.”

You didn’t think he would immediately… As you bend over to grab something from the drawers, Miguel reaches up to grab the soda, leaning forward. Both of you moving simultaneously, your ass presses firmly against his crotch. You both freeze in panic, prolonging the position, before you jump up at the accidental contact. His and your “sorry”’s and “I didn’t mean to”’s get jumbled together in the colossally awkward moment. Miguel looks down, then back up again looking startled. He scurries around to the other side of the counter, it now separating you. “Jesus, Miguel, I didn’t do it on purpose! You don’t have to put a barricade between us; it’s not like I’m gonna jump you!” “No, no, it’s not that! Fuck, it’s, uh, fuck…” He looks lost for words. His hand comes to his face, covering it in resigned embarrassment. His voice is a mumble through his obstructing hand, “I’ve a bd’ve uh sitch-ation.”

“What?” He uncovers his face with an exasperated sigh. “I have… a bit of a… situation,” he whispers, looking down.

“Oh… oh!” you say, realization hitting you. Probably largely because of the awkward tension, at least partially at the idea of you giving Miguel O’Hara a boner, you start cracking up. He just stares at you, deadpan, his hands coming to his hips. “It’s not funny.” “It’s a little funny.” His glare cracks the tiniest bit. 

“Okay, maybe it’s a little funny. But it’s your fault!”

“I didn’t mean to!”

“Didn’t mean to what?” Alex asks nonchalantly, coming out of his room, lazily drying his hair.

“Nothing!” you and Miguel say simultaneously.

“Okay… should I just pretend that wasn’t really suspicious?” 

“Yes,” you tell him. “It’s nothing, really. Just me being clumsy again.”

His eyes are still skeptical, but Alex just chuckles and nods, letting it go at the look on your face. He heads to the couch with an easy “C’mon, man” at Miguel. Miguel follows, giving you a sideways glance and tense smile. When he sits, he immediately puts a cushion on his lap. You grab the first thing that looks edible in your fridge and head to your room. 

~

Two weekends later finds you at another soccer team party. They’d lost this time, 2-1. Miguel scored their sole goal, and the other team’s second had been a sketchy penalty. If the victory parties were good, the defeat ones were wild. Most of the players, Miguel and Alex among them, were drowning their sorrows, especially after such a disheartening defeat.

You weren’t a player, but you had your own sorrows to drown, and you weren’t stopping yourself from doing just that. You’d hardly seen Miguel in almost two weeks, and the few times you had, he’d been cold, keeping interactions mainly to greetings and goodbyes. You didn’t know if you’d done something wrong, if he was still caught up with your little awkward encounter, or if you were just making it up, your feelings for him needing some outlet. Making up stories by constantly obsessing about him was as good as outlet as you could get sometimes. Alcohol was a better one now. 

A while into the party, you’re at the bar for your… you lost count… numberth tequila shot. You down it, lick the salt off your hand, and stick the lime in your mouth, cringing. 

Your eyes are still closed when you feel a hand on your shoulder. You open them and see Miguel standing beside you. “Maybe switch to water, huh, guapa?” he tells you.

“Why? M’fine,” you slur. 

“Maybe, but you won’t be if you keep this pace up.” “And how would you know?” 

“Just noticed,” he shrugs. 

You squint your eyes accusingly at him. You didn’t know what you’d feel next time you talked to him, but you hadn’t expected to feel this angry. 

“You notice me enough to watch how much I drink but not to say more than two words at a time to me for weeks?” He looks surprised. “Y/N…” 

You cross your arms and lift your eyebrows in an implied “what?”

When he doesn’t say anything, you just walk past him. You end up walking through the dance floor, and though it wasn’t your plan, you kind of like moving to the music. You’re drunk enough to the lack the inhibitions to just dance alone. You’re enjoying yourself, not even bothering to look back and see if Miguel was still there. A bit later though, you startle as you feel a hand on your ass. You turn and find a random guy you’ve never met before, smiling at you disgustingly drunkenly. You’re taken aback, your mind already a bit slow from the alcohol, so you haven’t decided yet how to tell him to fuck off by the time Miguel is in front of you shoving him away. He’s not overly aggressive but, even drunk, easily moves the guy away from you with an angry “What the hell, man?” 

The other guy looks seriously scared and just lifts his hands with a pathetic “sorry, Miguel.” 

“Fucking better be, what the hell is wrong with you?” The other guy stumbles away. Miguel turns towards you, and his expression melts from frightening anger to warm concern in two seconds. “You okay?” he asks, his hands carefully grazing your shoulders. You nod and lean into him. At your seeming comfortable, he lets his arms come around you. 

“Thanks,” you whisper in his ear.

“Of course,” he whispers in yours, and it sends a shiver down your entire body. You stare into his eyes, your hands resting on his chest. 

“Miguel?” 

“Yeah?”

“Wanna dance with me?” 

They don’t call it “liquid courage” for nothing. 

Miguel considers you for a moment, but a soft smirk is whispered across is sharp features. He nods slowly, and his hands move slightly further down your back. You close your eyes at the sensation of his hands running along your body. You run your hands up his chest slowly and wrap your arms around his neck. When you open your eyes, you see his crimson ones boring into you. 

You start moving a bit more as you focus on the music to relieve some of the tension you’re feeling. He follows your lead, and soon you’re dancing together much more easily. As a couple of songs go by, you’re both moving freely, staying close to each other the whole time.

You’re so exhilarated, and he seems as enveloped in you as you are in him, so the next time the beat calls for it, you let your body twist rhythmically in his grasp. Your back is now flush with his chest, your ass on his crotch, your hand reaching behind you on his neck, in his hair. His hands are firm on your hips, and when you roll them against him, you hear his whispered “Fuck, mami” in your ear and feel his arm come around your middle, pulling you into him. His hips move in rhythm with yours. You’ve probably never been so turned on in your entire life. You keep this up for a delicious while. You can feel Miguel is hard through his jeans, but he makes no sign of being embarrassed, just continuing to dance with you with expert hip movements that make your imagination go wild. Of course he’d be an amazing dancer. Of course you’d imagine what else his hips could do. 

You twist back in his embrace, coming to face him. He holds you close, and you bring a hand to his face. He leans into your touch. You move your face up slightly, and he seems to be following, moving his down. You’re so close, even think you feel your lips graze his, when someone bumps up against you, making you stumble. 

Miguel’s strong arms catch you, but the moment is gone, and a second later, he looks startled.

“You okay?” he asks, stepping back a bit, speaking loudly to keep his distance. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you assure, but he seems off. 

“Let’s get some air, huh?” 

You follow him outside, the sudden change in ambience making your head spin a little. You lean against the wall, and he puts his hand on your shoulder. 

“Sure you’re okay?” You nod but don’t say anything, maybe a bit drunker than you thought, trying to ground yourself. He leans on the wall next to you. His body is warm where it grazes your side. You can feel his gaze intermittently on you. You get a little dizzy again, and you lean onto his shoulder. He just lets you, and you stand like that for a while. 

His fingers graze the back of your hand.

“Want me to take you home?”

You nod into his body. He wraps a firm arm around your shoulders and leads you away from the party. 

You’re home before you know it, the whole journey a blur dominated by his warmth by your side. When you reach your front door, you lean on it and look up at him. His subtle smile elicits your full one. “Thanks,” you whisper. “’S no problem,” he shrugs. “You’ll be okay?” “Yeah,” you nod. You’re already sobering up. “You?”

He chuckles and nods. 

“I wasn’t the one downing tequila shots like water,” he teases. Your cheeks warm, and you look down as you chuckle. 

“Wasn’t that many…” 

He laughs.

“It was, cariño.” Again with the pet names. 

“I’m still surprised you noticed.” “I always notice you,” he responds without missing a beat. Your eyes snap up to his, and you see the longing there. 

You stare at each other for a heavy moment, then, drunk more on the sensations of your earlier almost-kiss than on alcohol, chasing that feeling, you lean up to try again. Your lips are a breath away from his when he looks down, effectively rejecting your advance. You pull away, mortified. 

“Sorry, I… sorry,” you stutter as you scramble for your keys. You turn to your door. “Y/N,” he whispers, his hand holding your wrist softly. “It’s okay,” you say, looking back him, wiping tears from your eyes. “You don’t have to say anything; sorry I misunderstood.” 

You quickly go inside and close the door. You lean on it, crying. Miguel, eyes closed, fists clenched, rests his forehead on the opposite side. 

~

Miguel doesn’t come around for a while. Even as days pass, you can’t stop thinking about your night together. Confusion, sadness, embarrassment — all mixing together into a terrible cocktail.

Another match day rolls around, and you can’t stomach the idea of watching Miguel play, of potentially having to talk to him after. You tell Alex you’re really sorry to not support him this time, but that you’re not feeling well. He worries over you a while, unhelpfully but adorably emptying your medicine cabinet onto the kitchen counter, looking through stuff, suggesting this and that, telling you to text him anything you needed that he could bring you after. 

A while later, you’ve just slumped down onto the couch, when your stomach sinks at the sight you’re met with. There, at the corner of the room, lie his cleats. He’d been cleaning them the night before and had clearly forgotten to put them back in his gym bag. 

“Fuck.” 

You lift yourself up, grab them, and head over to the stadium. 

When you get there, you pound at the locker room door, and it opens — of course, you couldn’t catch a fucking break — to Miguel O’Hara’s gorgeous face. Though he looks at you intently, you can’t quite read his expression. Then he yells over his shoulder, “Ale!” 

Alex jogs over and, upon seeing you, lets out the biggest sigh of relief. 

“Oh, thank God. I fucking love you.” He reaches for the cleats you’re holding up to him and gives you a  bear hug. “Saved my fucking life, Y/N/N. Thank you.” He kisses your forehead. “You don’t look as sick. You’ll be okay?” He’s clearly in a rush to get back but wants to make sure you’re alright. 

You nod and playfully shove his chest, pushing him back into the locker room. “You’re the best!” he yells over his shoulder as he saunters back. Miguel is still just standing there, all geared up for the match. It crosses your sick mind how good the uniform looks on him. 

“You’re sick?” he asks. 

“Nothing I won’t get over.” You offer him a weak smile. He’s nodding slowly, considering. 

“Stay for the match?”

“Miguel, I —“ “Please.” You’ve never heard him plead before. You’re head is nodding before your mind can catch up. He just nods too. “I’ll find you after.” And with that, he jogs back into the locker room. 

You’d never known ninety minutes could drag on for eternity, with a half-time’s worth of eternity in between. You’re sure you’re heartbeat was elevated the entire time, your mind and emotions reeling. What was Miguel going to say to you after the match? You had absolutely no read on him during your short interaction before. Then again, apparently you weren’t always great at reading him. 

Minute after minute trickles by. At the end of the second half, your team up a goal (yes, Miguel’s), the ref announces an unusually large number of minutes. You moan with everyone else, for your own reasons. What was a potential leveler compared to the leveling of your heart?

Slowly, the minutes pass. The other team builds a mounting attack; they get a good attempt; they miss. The whistle blows; the crowd cheers, and you, you’re frozen in place. 

You thaw yourself slowly as the players shake hands, go to their respective huddles. By the time they’re roaming the sidelines freely, you’ve only just managed to leave your seat. 

As you descend the bleachers stairs, you catch sight of Miguel. He’s obviously searching, halfheartedly ignoring the congratulations coming from all sides. His eyes eventually meet yours, and as soon as they do, he’s running over to you, meeting you much closer to the bleachers than the field. 

He comes to a stop right in front of you and just watches you. You just watch him. “Congratulations,” you say. He chuckles, lightly shaking his head.

“Thanks.” 

He takes a step closer to you. “Y/N…” “Yeah?” “I…” “Miguel!” you’re interrupted. “Congratulations! Way to pull it out!” “Thanks, yeah, thank you,” he says hurriedly, looking back over to you. “Listen, I just, I wanted to clear things up after how we left them.” You nod, worrying your bottom lip, your arms wrapping around you defensively.

“I didn’t want you to think that —“

“Congratulations, Miguel! Did it again, man!” And a slap on the back.

“Uh-huh, yeah, thank you,” Miguel responds, turning away, approaching rudeness. “For fuck’s sake,” he says, much more softly. “C’mere.” He grabs your arm and drags you around the bleachers, stopping when you have a semblance of cover. He’s looking around to make sure no one else is about to talk to him, and his worried looks right after he’s just won makes you laugh. The sound draws his attention fully back to you. He smiles at seeing you smiling. 

“Where can a guy get a little privacy, huh?” he jokes. “Probably not still by the field where he just scored the winning goal, I’m guessing,” you tease. He chuckles. Then he takes a deep, sobering breath. “Listen, Y/N…” 

His tone sounds apologetic, and it makes you immediately think the worst. He probably just didn’t want you to be embarrassed. Wanted to fix things so they wouldn’t be awkward if he hung around, which he’d obviously want to do given Alex was his best friend. 

Already fighting back tears, wanting to beat him to the punch to save face in whatever way you could at this point, you cut him off. “Miguel, you don’t have to explain anything or anything. I’m sorry I made more out of a good time than I should have. Please don’t let me keep you from hanging out with my brother even if I’m around, and I hope we can still be friends.” “What? No, that’s not… This isn’t about Alex. I mean, well it is a little bit.” He’s looking unsure. “Just keep things how they were before. It’s all fine.” “Is that what you want?” He looks serious. “What do you mean?” “Is that what you want? To keep things how they were before? To still be friends?”

“I… well… it’s what you want, isn’t it?” “I never said that.” “You didn’t have to. I tried to kiss you, and you pretty much said no to that. Twice.”

“I didn’t. Well, once, yeah I did, but it was only because I was worried you were too drunk. I didn’t want to take advantage of you. And, also, maybe a little bit because I panicked, okay?” He sounds more vulnerable than you’ve ever heard him yet. “I was worried it’d be weird with Alex or that I’d fuck it up with you, and I just, I don’t know, I panicked. And the other time wasn’t my fault. I was going to kiss you if you hadn’t stumbled.” “Someone bumped into me!” “I’m not blaming you! I just, it just, it made me remember you were drunk, and I didn’t want to be like that idiot guy I’d had to push away a while earlier.” “You’re nothing like that guy,” you say sternly. “I…” He’s started to look frustrated, unable to find the words. He runs his hand over his face, takes another deep breath. “What if you try now?” “What?” “I don’t know how to tell you. So maybe I can just show you. Try again, and no one will bump into you. I won’t panic, and I won’t think of all the things that could go wrong. I’ll think of how I’ve been feeling since that night. Absolutely fucking miserable. It’s been eating away at me; all I could think about was making it right with you, but I didn’t know how, didn’t know if I should. But I can’t take it anymore, and if you feel the same way, then, fuck, let’s just stop getting in our own way.” 

“Miguel…” “Yeah?” “That was pretty good for not knowing how to tell me.” Your face forms the slightest teasing smirk, your eyes lighting up at the realization of what he’s telling you. “Shut up and kiss me already,” he says, rolling his eyes, unable to help his bright smile, pulling your body to his and bringing his lips onto yours. 

You pull him into you, reciprocating eagerly. He moans into your mouth, and you feel his towering body sink onto yours. His arms are tight around you, one hand cupping your head, bringing you close. His kiss is fervent, desperate but concentrated. 

You run your hands in his hair, and he chuckles gruffly, the sound muffled by your chasing mouth. You lose yourself in his embrace. You grip him tightly, breaching into his mouth, wanting to kiss him as much as wanting to be kissed by him. You could feel the beginning of a beautiful push and pull as your mouths move together, your bodies mold into each other’s. 

You want to kiss him forever, but some loud cheering nearby startles you slightly apart. Miguel is looking deeply into your eyes. He kisses you again, lets his forehead rest on yours when he pulls back. You’re smiling when you say, “You should probably get back. I’m sure people are looking for you.” He groans dramatically and hides in the crook of your neck. He kisses it before saying, “I just want to be with you.” 

You giggle, nuzzling his face with yours, holding him close, your hand in his hair.

“Yeah, me too.” He hums into your neck. He plants another kiss there, and one on your cheek on his way up, as he lifts his head again. His rough hands caress your face tenderly. 

“This is good,” he says simply. You laugh and nod. “Fuck ‘em. I’ll go over there at some point. Let’s just stay here a little while longer.”

“Okay,” you smile. 

Miguel leans back into you, kissing you and kissing you and kissing you. 

[goblinontour]

Oh Baby, I Must Be Mad

you’re a bitch, he’s a bitch, he makes you his bitch

warnings: fetus!alex, smut, blowjob, fingering, grinding, fucking, talking, shouting

word count: 6.6k

You sat cross-legged on your bed, elbows propped on your knees, talking and talking as the words rushed out, barely giving you time to breathe. Your voice filled the small dorm room, your frustration practically vibrating off the walls. You barely noticed the cold that clung to everything. The kind that sank into your bones, made your breath feel like frost. But Alex, sprawled out next to you on the bed, felt it. 

He was bundled up like it was midwinter. Tight black jeans stretched over his long legs, a simple t-shirt under his jacket, and even that wasn’t enough. He’d pulled your blanket over himself at some point, though it barely covered him. You could see him, tucked up against the pillows, legs crossed at the ankles, his head tipped back slightly as he stared at the ceiling, eyes half-closed like he was contemplating his escape.

“And I swear, if Evan makes one more comment about his dad’s connections- like, okay, cool, we get it, your dad knows people, but you don’t have to keep saying it like it gives you the right to interrupt literally every conversation-” You huffed, pulling your hair into a messy knot on top of your head, the movement just as irritated as your words. “He thinks he’s God’s gift to the program, and I’m about to lose it if-”

“Mhm.” Alex’s response was so quiet you barely heard it, more of a grunt than anything, and it immediately set your nerves alight. He wasn’t even looking at you, just lying there, his hand resting over his stomach, fingers idly tracing the edges of his jacket.

Your mouth snapped shut, eyes narrowing. You stared at him for a second, feeling the bubbling frustration turn to anger. “Are you even listening to me?”

He blinked, slowly, before turning his head just enough to glance at you, his eyes heavy with boredom. “Yeah.” he said, the word drawn out lazily, like it took effort. “Evan. Dad’s connections. He’s annoyin’ you.”

You scoffed, sitting up straighter, your arms crossing over your chest. “You’re so not listening. You’ve been laying there like I’m just background noise.”

Alex didn’t respond immediately, his gaze drifting back to the ceiling. His fingers drummed a slow rhythm against his jacket, and it was clear that whatever you were saying wasn’t the priority here. It made your blood boil.

“Alex.” you snapped, uncrossing your legs so your knees bumped into his side. “Seriously. I’m talking to you.”

“I am listening.” he repeated, his voice a bit firmer now, but still with that edge of disinterest that made your irritation flare up.

“No, you’re not. You don’t care.” The words came out sharp, and you could feel the tension in the room rise as you glared at him, your fingers tightening into fists in your lap. “I’m here venting about my day, and you’re just lying there like you couldn’t give less of a shit.”

He exhaled through his nose, slowly, before pushing himself up slightly on his elbow, his brow furrowing. His eyes, which had been so indifferent moments ago, were suddenly darker, more focused on you now. 

“I’m listenin’.” he said, his voice low and clipped. “But maybe that’s because I don’t care about fuckin’ Evan or whatever prick’s been pissin’ you off in class this time.”

His words hit you like a slap, cutting through the air with the sharpness of his accent, and for a second, all you could do was stare at him. The dismissiveness of it, the casual way he said it, like your frustrations were nothing, made something snap inside you.

“Are you kidding me?” you shot back, your voice rising. “I don’t care about your stupid band half the time either, but I still listen when you go on about chords and lyrics and all that other shit you talk about.”

“Oh, so that’s how it is?” His jaw tightened, and he sat up fully now, legs bent as he turned to face you, his eyes flashing with something sharper. “I talk about the band for five minutes and you act like it’s some massive inconvenience, but you’ve been goin’ on about this bloke for the last, like, hour.”

“Yeah, well, at least when you talk, I actually listen.” you shot back, uncrossing your legs and swinging them off the bed. You stood up, the cold floor biting at your feet, but you didn’t care. Your anger was burning hotter than anything now. “You’re just lying there like you’re too cool to care about anything I’m saying.”

“You never let me get a word in, anyway.” he muttered, pushing himself off the bed, standing now, his hands running through his hair in frustration. His voice was rising, his usual calm demeanour completely unravelling. “I came all this way, and all I’ve done is sit here listenin’ to you complain about some arsehole I couldn’t give a shit about.”

“Well, maybe if you actually bothered to contribute to the conversation, I wouldn’t have to talk so much!” You stepped toward him, arms crossed tightly over your chest, eyes glaring into his. “And I didn’t ask you to come all this way just to mope around like you’re doing me some huge favour by being here.”

“I’m not moping. I’m just wonderin’ why the hell I even bother sometimes when I can’t even say one thing without you cuttin’ me off.”

“That’s not true.” you snapped. “You could’ve said something anytime.”

“I tried!” His voice was sharp now, the frustration fully breaking through. “But every time I open my mouth, you jump in with somethin’ else. You don’t want a conversation, you just want me to sit here and nod along like some fuckin’ idiot.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but the words caught in your throat, because a part of you knew he wasn’t entirely wrong. But admitting that now, in the heat of the moment, felt impossible. Instead, your anger flared up again, the defensiveness taking over.

“You’re exaggerating.” you shot back, your voice tight. “I let you talk.”

“Do you?” His voice dropped to a lower, dangerous tone, his eyes burning into yours. “When? ‘Cause all I remember is you ramblin’ on and on about somethin’ you’re mad about, and the second I try to talk, you either cut me off or go on another tangent. You never actually listen.”

You stared at him, your chest rising and falling quickly as your heart pounded in your ears. His words stung, but they also made you want to scream. 

“You’re such a fucking hypocrite.” you shot back, stepping even closer to him, your eyes blazing. “You never listen to me either! Every time I tell you something, you act like it’s beneath you or like you have better things to think about.”

“Maybe it’s because you’re always complaining about the same shit over and over again.” he snapped, his face inches from yours now. His voice was hard, cold, the frustration rolling off him in waves. “It’s the same story every time. Some bloke pisses you off, or some girl’s annoyin’, and I’m expected to sit here and listen like it’s the first time I’ve heard it.”

You felt your face heat up, and not just from anger. The way he said it, like your problems were trivial, made your blood boil. “Oh, I’m sorry that I have things in my life that aren’t perfect. Not all of us can be the lead singer of some band and have everything just work out.”

“That’s rich comin’ from you.” he sneered, his face tightening in anger. “You think everything’s so fuckin’ hard for you.”

The room seemed to freeze in place, the air between you thick and electric. Neither of you moved, both staring the other down, waiting for someone to make the next move.

“I’ve been workin’ my arse off for this band, and all I ever get from you is complaints about how I’m never around, or how I don’t care enough, but you don’t even try to understand it. You don’t get it.” His voice was raw now, cracking with the weight of it all. His hands clenched into fists, knuckles white.

“Well maybe if you actually talked to me instead of making everything about the band, I’d understand!” you shouted, your chest heaving with the effort to get the words out. “But you don’t! You shut me out and act like I’m supposed to just sit here waiting for you to decide you want to share something.”

He took a step back, sitting back on the bed, running both hands through his hair, gripping at it in frustration. “Because there’s no point talkin’ to you when you never listen. You prove that every fuckin’ time.”

“Oh, fuck off!” you shouted, eyes burning. “You think I don’t listen? You think I don’t try? You’re the one who shuts down anytime I try to have a real conversation with you.”

You both stared each other down like you were two seconds away from combusting. Alex’s chest was heaving, his face flushed with anger, his eyes sharp and dark with frustration. He wasn’t backing down, and neither were you. 

“Just- just shut the fuck up!” Alex finally snapped, his voice louder than you’d ever heard it, raw and biting. He swung his legs off the bed, standing up abruptly. He yanked off his jacket with an angry pull, the zipper catching slightly before he tore it off entirely. The jacket hit the floor in a heap, and he started pacing, his hands running through his hair again, tugging at the strands like he was trying to pull himself together.

“You can’t just tell me to shut up!” you fired back, stepping toward him. “I have every right to say what I’m feeling, especially since you’ve clearly been tuning me out this whole time!”

He stopped pacing for a second, glaring at you. ”Oh, yeah? Maybe if you didn’t go on about the same bloody thing every fucking time, I wouldn’t have to ‘tune you out’!”

“Don’t act like you’re some victim here!” you snapped. “You’re the one who’s been cold and distant, just lying there.”

“Cold and distant?” he spat back, his eyes narrowing, his pacing more agitated now. “For fuck’s sake, I came all the way over here to see you, and all I get is you ranting on about Evan.”

“You came here, but what’s the point if you’re not even here mentally?” you shot back. “You’re just here.”

“God, shut up!” He stopped dead in his tracks, whipping around to face you. His voice was low and dangerous now, like he was on the verge of losing it. His hands clenched into fists at his sides. “Just shut up for one minute!”

“No.” you spat. “I’m not going to shut up just because you can’t handle a real conversation.”

“God, you’re impossible!” He stormed over to you, closing the distance in two angry strides, his breath hot and ragged as he grabbed your face in his hands. His grip was firm, his fingers pressing against your cheeks, and before you could react, his lips crashed into yours, hard, heated, and urgent.

You gasped against his mouth, the fight draining from you in an instant as your brain short-circuited. The kiss felt almost punishing, his lips moving against yours with a fervour that left you no room to argue. For a second, you didn’t even know how to respond, your hands hanging uselessly by your sides, your heart racing like you’d been thrown into something you hadn’t expected at all. But then, instinct kicked in, and you kissed him back, hard, your fingers tangling into his hair, pulling him closer despite yourself.

Just as suddenly as it began, he pulled away, breathing heavily, his hands dropping from your face as he took a step back. You were left standing there, eyes wide and lips parted, your mind struggling to catch up to what had just happened.

Alex stared at you, his hands on his hips, his chest still heaving, a wild look in his eyes like he was barely holding on. “Finally…” he muttered, more to himself than to you.

Your brow furrowed as you tried to make sense of everything. “Finally what?”

“Finally, some fucking quiet.” he said, exasperation dripping from every word. His voice was quieter now, but the edge of anger hadn’t entirely left. He ran a hand through his hair, eyes flicking up to meet yours as if daring you to argue with him.

The shock was starting to wear off, and the heat of the argument began to creep back into your chest. “Quiet? Quiet? That’s what you wanted?” you demanded, incredulous. “You think kissing me is going to shut me up?”

“Seemed to work, didn’t it?” He raised a brow, a smug smirk pulling at the corner of his lips, even though his eyes were still stormy.

Your face burned with indignation, and you took a step forward, poking a finger into his chest. “You think you can just kiss me to stop me from talking? You’re unbelievable, Alex!”

“And you never know when to stop talking,” he shot back, the smirk fading, his expression turning heated again. “you go on and on and never give anyone a chance to get a fuckin’ word in.”

“That’s because you never say anything worth listening to!” you spat, your voice rising again as the bickering started all over.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” he groaned, exasperated. He yanked his t-shirt over his head in one swift motion, throwing it somewhere behind him. The sight of his bare chest, the muscles in his arms flexing as he tossed the shirt, caught you off guard, but you had no time to react before he was on you again. His hands grabbed your waist, and in one swift move, he pushed you down onto the bed.

“Alex-” you started, but before you could get another word out, his lips were on yours again, silencing you with another kiss. He hovered over you, one knee pressing into the mattress beside your hip, his hands framing your face as he kissed you deeper, harder. 

You tried to push him back, to protest, but your body betrayed you as your hands gripped his arms, pulling him closer even as your mind screamed at you to keep fighting. His body was warm and solid above yours, and the heat between you both was overwhelming. The cold air in the room was completely forgotten as his lips moved against yours, the weight of him pinning you to the mattress.

He pulled back just enough to look down at you, his breath ragged, his hair falling messily into his eyes. “I can shut you up.” he whispered against your lips as he stared into your eyes.

You opened your mouth to say something, anything, but he kissed you again before you could speak, his body pressing down against yours, keeping you firmly beneath him. Every inch of you was buzzing with frustration, and the way his kiss was relentless, like he was determined to prove his point. His hands moved from your face down to your waist, fingers digging into you as he ground his body against yours. 

“You’re unbelievable.” you gasped between kisses. 

His lips curled into a smirk against your mouth. “Maybe I just know how to get what I want.” he murmured. 

Just then, he shifted his weight, and his hands slid under your tank top, pushing it up slightly as his fingers grazed your skin. He pulled back just enough to look down at you. “You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this.” He yanked your top down, exposing your skin to the cool air, the sudden chill contrasting sharply with the heat of his body hovering over you. “While you were busy talking about…fucking Evan.” He cupped your boob, fingers roughly squeezing as he kept your mouth occupied with his tongue. 

You responded in kind, your hands moving to his back, fingers curling into the waistband of his jeans. In a moment of reckless abandon, you pushed your hand down into his pants, fingers curling into the firm curve of his ass over his boxers. The movement drew a low moan from him, which vibrated against your lips, and you couldn’t help but smile against his as you felt him respond. 

“God, you’re driving me insane.” he breathed, pulling away slightly. “Do you have any condoms left?”

“No.” you managed to say. 

“Okay.” he said, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a smirk. “Then we either risk it, or you blow me.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, half in disbelief and half in amusement. “Is that really how you want to play this?”

“Just offering options here.” he shrugged, a grin creeping back onto his face, his bravado almost infuriating. “But if you’re not into either, I guess we just keep arguing.”

“Alex!” you protested, but even as you said it, your pulse quickened. 

He leaned closer, brushing his lips against yours. “What’s it gonna be? I’d rather not wait around if you want to keep arguing.” 

You bit your lip, torn between irritation and an undeniable pull toward him. “You really think you can just get me to do whatever you want?”

He leaned in, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, “I think I can convince you.” 

Every protest you had slowly melted away as you surrendered to the heat building between you, knowing you were both playing a dangerous game, but it was a game you were willing to continue, at least for now.

You pulled back slightly, catching his gaze. “You really want to risk it, huh?” 

Alex paused, his brow raised in challenge. “What can I say? I like living dangerously.” He shifted back, propping himself up on his elbows, clearly enjoying the power dynamics at play.

You leaned closer, a smile creeping onto your lips as you began to unbutton his jeans. The sound of the zipper made your heart race. There was an intensity in his gaze as you slid your hands into his jeans, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. 

His breath hitched slightly as you pushed the denim down, exposing more of his legs. He looked up at you, his expression a mixture of anticipation and amusement, revelling in the thrill of the moment. “You’re feeling bold.” he remarked, a smirk playing on his lips.

“I’ve always been bold.” you shot back, your confidence surging as you pushed his jeans down further, letting them pool around his ankles for him to kick off.

He laid back against the pillows, the fabric soft against his skin, and you could see the flicker of excitement in his eyes as he watched you. “What are you going to do now?” he challenged. 

You smirked, your fingers tracing slow, deliberate lines along his thighs, barely brushing against the hem of his boxers. “Just enjoying the view.” 

His muscles tensed under your touch and he shifted slightly, his breath hitching when your fingers grazed the sensitive skin just above his waistband. “That all you're going to do?” he asked, his tone almost taunting, but you could hear the underlying impatience.

You leaned forward, your lips hovering just above his stomach. “Maybe.” You could feel the way his body reacted to the proximity, every slight twitch, every subtle intake of breath. “Unless you're in a hurry for something.”

His hands fisted the sheets as you dragged your fingers along his waist, tracing maddeningly slow circles on his hipbones. His jaw clenched as he exhaled sharply, trying to maintain control. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”

You glanced up at him through your lashes, your lips brushing the edge of his boxers, dangerously close but not quite enough. His eyes were locked on you. “You love it.” you whispered, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the spot just below his navel. 

He let out a low, frustrated groan, his hips shifting slightly. “You’re really going to make me wait?” he asked. 

Your fingers trailed lower, teasingly slipping beneath the waistband for just a second before retreating, leaving him wanting more. His breath hitched again, and you could see the way his chest rose and fell, quicker now. 

“You’re torturing me.” he muttered, but there was a glint in his eyes that told you he was enjoying every second of it.

“Just a little.” you replied with a grin, your lips brushing over his skin again, leaving a trail of feather-light kisses down his torso. 

“Don’t tease too much.” he murmured. 

You paused, looking up at him. “Teasing is half the fun, don’t you think?”

Alex let out a frustrated laugh, but the spark in his gaze was undeniable. “Nah, not now.”

“Just wait.” you said as you leaned in closer again. You hooked your fingers into the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down, exposing him fully. His body tensed as the cool air hit his skin, but his eyes stayed locked on yours, expectant.

You could feel his impatience as you let your tongue flicker out, just the tip brushing against him in the lightest of touches. His hips twitched slightly, a frustrated sound escaping his throat. You smirked, continuing to tease, your mouth barely making contact, just enough to drive him crazy.

He growled low in his throat, his hand coming to the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair with a firm grip. “Come on…” he muttered. “Don't play around. Suck it properly.”

The arrogance in his voice made you pause, lifting your head just slightly to meet his eyes. “So demanding.” you murmured, lips hovering above him. His jaw clenched, and you could see the way he fought for control, his fingers tightening in your hair.

He pushed his hips forward, trying to guide himself deeper into your mouth, but you held firm, teasing him with slow, lazy licks along his length. “I said,” he repeated, his voice dropping an octave as he pressed his hips toward you again, “suck it. You know how to. Come on, baby.”

“Patience.” you whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his tip before pulling away again, the smug look on his face wavering for just a second as you denied him the satisfaction of going further. 

His hand tightened in your hair, pulling slightly, his breath coming out in short, frustrated bursts. “Come on…” he grunted, but beneath it, there was an edge of frustration. His need for control was palpable, and the way you were pushing him to the edge without giving him what he wanted was clearly getting under his skin.

You gave him a look, your lips barely brushing against him again, not giving in yet. “What if I wanna take my time?” you asked, knowing how much it would push his buttons.

He let out a low, exasperated groan, his head falling back against the pillows as he tried to thrust into your mouth, but you pulled back just in time, leaving your mouth empty and him wanting. “For fuck’s sake.” he muttered, “Stop messing around and put that pretty mouth to work.”

His hand moved more firmly in your hair, trying to guide you back down, his cockiness only thinly veiling the desperation you could see in his eyes. But you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction just yet. You let your tongue trace slow, lazy circles around him, every now and then taking him just barely into your mouth before pulling away again. 

“You’re such a fucking tease.” he growled, his hips jerking upward again full of exasperation. “You’re pissing me off again.” 

Before you could retort, he flipped you over with surprising strength, pinning you beneath him. You gasped, caught off guard, and he wasted no time yanking your pants down, exposing your skin to the cool air. He pushed your top up, revealing your chest to him fully. 

“Alex-” you started, but he silenced you with a kiss, moving his lips down your body. He kissed his way down until he reached the waistband of your panties. 

He pressed a soft kiss against your covered cunt before pulling them to the side. You felt exposed and vulnerable, but there was an excitement coursing through you as he hovered over you, his presence overwhelming. 

Then, without warning, he plunged two fingers inside, the sudden fullness making you gasp. Your back arched instinctively, the sensation electric as he moved his fingers with confidence, finding that spot that made you shiver.

“Oh, no words now, eh?” he teased, a smirk on his lips as he watched your reaction. His fingers worked expertly, and the room filled with the sounds of your breaths and the rustle of the sheets beneath you.

You tried to gather your thoughts, to form some kind of response to his taunting words, but every time you opened your mouth, a moan escaped instead. Each time you tried to speak, another sound slipped free, your body betraying you.

“Come on.” he murmured, his lips ghosting against your ear. “Just enjoy it.”

As his fingers continued to thrust inside you, the slick sound filling the room, you felt him shift above you. His hips pressed down, and you realised with a start that he was rubbing his cock against your upper thigh, the hard length of him sliding against your skin. The friction was maddening, and you could feel the slickness building there, his arousal mingling with the sweat on your body. 

“Feel that?” he whispered as he rocked his hips, pressing himself harder against your thigh with each thrust of his fingers. You could feel just how desperate he was becoming. Yet still, he kept control, refusing to let go. 

You whimpered, your hips bucking. You could feel the heat pooling low in your stomach, spreading through your limbs. “Look at you…” he taunted, his breath hot against your neck as he ground himself harder against you. “You can’t even handle it, can you?”

You moaned in response, your body tightening around his fingers as he continued his assault. Every time his hips thrust forward, his cock slid against your slick skin. The sounds he made, low, throaty grunts of satisfaction, only heightened everything. 

The smugness in his eyes was unmistakable as he watched you squirm beneath him, his fingers never faltering in their rhythm. “See?” he said, his voice dripping with arrogance as he rocked his hips again, the head of his cock brushing dangerously close to where his fingers were buried inside you. “This isn’t so hard, is it?”

You managed to catch your breath enough to respond, “You think this is easy for me? You’re driving me insane…”

He chuckled and picked up the pace, pushing you closer to the edge. “Good. I want you to feel it. You’ve been talking nonstop, so let’s see if I can make you speechless.”

You rolled your eyes, even as your body betrayed you, responding eagerly to every movement. “Like you could actually silence me.” 

“Oh, I think I can manage that.” he replied. 

“Is that a challenge?” you asked, half-laughing, half-breathless.

“Perhaps.” he said, his fingers curling just right. “But right now, I’m focused on you. You know you love it.”

“You’re really insufferable.” you managed to say between gasps.

“Only when I’m around you.” he shot back. “Seriously though, how’s it feel? You like this?”

“It’s-” You struggled to find the words as the intensity grew. “It’s good, Al. Just- don’t stop.”

“Good.” he said, his voice low and sultry. “I want you to remember this the next time you think about annoying me.”

You gasped, your back arching off the bed as he pushed deeper, his fingers curling just right, hitting that spot inside you that made your vision blur. You were teetering on the edge, every thrust of his hips against your thigh, every curl of his fingers, sending you spiralling closer and closer to release.

He watched you with that same amused glint in his eyes, completely in control of your body, of the situation. He knew exactly what he was doing, how to keep you on the edge without letting you fall over it. “You want it, don’t you?” he whispered, his voice smug and teasing as his cock slid against you again, his slick arousal mixing with yours. “You can’t hold out much longer.”

You could feel it, the way your body trembled beneath him, the way your breaths came in shallow, ragged gasps. “God, Alex, if you don’t stop talking, I swear-” you started, but your words trailed off as he increased the pressure, his fingers hitting that sweet spot again.

“Swear what?” he challenged, looking down at you. “You gonna tell me to shut up?”

“Maybe.” you gasped, the tension building to a breaking point.

“Not likely.” he grinned. “Let’s see how long you can last before you really can’t say anything.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his persistence. It was a dance of wills, a push and pull that left you craving more. His smirk was softer now, fading into something more focused, more intimate.

“Come on.” Alex murmured, voice rough but coaxing. His breath was hot against your neck, and his fingers curled in just the right way. “I can feel it. Just let go.”

You didn’t need much convincing. Your body was already giving in. You gasped as the pressure inside you built, your voice dropping into breathy moans you couldn’t suppress. You tried to hold back, remembering just how thin the dorm walls were, but it was impossible. 

“Alex, I’m-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence,, your body jerking in his grip as finished around his fingers, leaving you breathless, boneless, and trembling beneath him. 

He slowed his movements just enough to draw it out, making sure every last bit of pleasure wracked through you before he finally stopped. “Good girl.” he whispered, lips grazing your jawline, pride in his voice as if your release was as much his victory as yours. “Knew you’d let me make you come.”

Your chest rose and fell in heavy pants, your mind still spinning from the sensations coursing through your body. You gazed up at him, a smirk tugging at your lips despite the heat still thrumming under your skin. “You’re too smug for your own good.”

“Sure.” he replied, pulling back just enough to look down at you, his grin unmistakably cocky once again. There was a playful glint in his eyes, the arrogance almost dripping from him as he leaned in close. “Pretend you’re not a fan.” His lips brushed yours softly at first, the kiss tender and brief, before he pulled away just enough to murmur, “Now, it’s my turn.”

Before you could fully recover, he shifted, settling between your legs. You felt the tip of his cock brush against your still-sensitive skin, making you squirm beneath him. His movements were almost shaky now, the restraint in his body barely held together. His breathing was uneven, and there was a subtle tremor in his muscles that told you how close he already was. “You ready for me?” 

“I think I can manage.” you replied, trying to maintain your composure despite the way your body still trembled from the aftershocks of your own orgasm. 

He pushed into you at that. The sudden fullness made you gasp, your fingers immediately digging into his shoulders as your body arched beneath him. He felt impossibly good, the sensation of him stretching you, filling you completely overwhelming your already sensitive body. 

“Fuck.” he groaned, his forehead dropping against yours as his body shuddered with the effort to keep moving. “You feel so good. I’m not gonna last long like this.”

You could hear the strain in his voice, and as his forehead pressed against yours, you brushed a hand up, your fingers running lightly through the damp strands of his hair. His skin was flushed, and when you pulled back just enough to see his face, it was written all over him. He was barely holding on. You laughed softly at his admission, your thumb brushing along his temple as you took in the sight of him. “Already?” you teased, though your own breath came in quick, shallow gasps. “You were just talking all that big game…”

He groaned again, this time with a note of frustration, his hips picking up a faster rhythm as he thrust deeper into you. His movements were erratic now, and the way his brow furrowed told you he was fighting to hold on. “Shut up, please.” he muttered, voice strained, the bravado slipping further. 

“Please?” you echoed, your grin widening as you ran your fingers lightly over his forehead. His eyes squeezed shut for a moment, and you could see the way his face contorted with pleasure, his muscles twitching as the sensations overwhelmed him. “You must really be-”

“Shut up.” he interrupted, his voice breaking as his control slipped entirely. His thrusts became more desperate, his body moving without thought now, his hips snapping forward with increasing urgency. His brow was furrowed deeply, and his jaw clenched as he gasped for breath. “I’m serious, I’m- fuck-”

His eyes flickered open for a moment, meeting yours, and then, just as he hit that point of no return, he pulled out, his hands fumbling as he gripped his cock. He stroked himself quickly. You watched, breathless. He hovered over you, his face twisted in pleasure, his mouth falling open as he let out a rough, broken groan.

He came hard, his body tensing above you as hot streaks of his release spilled across your stomach. His eyes fluttered shut, and for a brief moment, his expression was pure, unfiltered ecstasy. His lips parted, and your name slipped past them in a hoarse whisper torn from his throat. His body trembled as the last of it spilled from his cock, every part of him laid bare.

For a few long moments, he stayed there, body shivering with the aftershocks of his orgasm, his head bowed as he gasped for air. 

“Fucking hell.” he muttered as he collapsed next to you, his hand resting lightly on your hip. He turned his head, chest still heaving, and looked at you with a grin that was both satisfied and exhausted.

You couldn’t help but chuckle, wiping a bit of sweat from your forehead. “That was quick.”

“I warned you.” he shot back, still catching his breath. 

His usual attitude was back, but his voice was softer now, like that vulnerability hadn’t fully faded, lingering in the small, cramped room. The space seemed even smaller now, with both of you sprawled across the tiny twin bed.

“Can you scoot over?” Alex groaned after a minute. “I’m about to fall off your tiny bed.”

You laughed, nudging him with your elbow. “Maybe if you didn’t take up so much space…”

“It’s not my fault your bed’s designed for hobbits.” he quipped, but he still shifted, giving you a bit more room instead. 

The room was warm, the sheets sticky beneath you, and everything felt overheated and suffocating. But in the best possible way.

“God, we’re so sweaty.” you muttered, shifting uncomfortably. “And everything’s…sticky.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” he replied, running a hand through his damp hair, which was sticking up in every direction. “But it was worth it.”

You smiled, biting back a laugh. “You say that now, but just wait until you have to do the walk of shame down the hall covered in sweat and…other things.”

He shot you a look. “I’m not walking anywhere until I get some sleep. I’m spent.” 

“You can’t just crash here.” you pointed out, though you weren’t exactly opposed to the idea. “What if my roommate comes back?”

He glanced at the door, then back at you. “Then we’ll just have to be quiet.” He waggled his eyebrows playfully, though his body was already sinking deeper into the mattress, clearly exhausted. 

You shook your head, amused. “You’re insufferable.”

“I know,” he mumbled, “and you still love me.”

As the quiet settled over the room, the warmth of your post-coital haze was interrupted by a familiar, teasing touch. You felt Alex shift beside you, his fingers brushing lightly against your stomach where his cum still lingered, sticky and now cool.

He glanced at you with a lazy grin as he wiped the mess away with his fingers, then, without a second thought, wiped it down on the corner of the already tangled sheets.

“Gross, Alex.” you groaned, wrinkling your nose in mock disgust.

He raised an eyebrow, the grin never leaving his face. “What? You wanted me to leave it there?” His tone was so casual, so matter-of-fact, it made you laugh despite yourself.

“You could’ve, I don’t know, used a towel or something.” though you knew full well there wasn’t one within reach. Not in this tiny dorm, not with the haphazard way things were usually thrown around in the space you had to share.

He shrugged, unfazed. “Eh, too far.” Then, his expression softened, his teasing dropping away for a moment as he shifted closer, wrapping an arm around your waist. “I just wanna hug you and not get it all over me.”

You rolled your eyes at his excuse, but a smile tugged at your lips anyway. “Fine.” you sighed, your voice betraying your amusement.

“Fine.” he echoed, his tone matching yours, though his grip tightened slightly as he pulled you in closer. His chest pressed against your back, his warmth seeping into you as you nestled into the curve of his body, your legs tangling together under the sheets. 

“You’re such a mess.” you mumbled, not entirely sure whether you were talking about the situation or him in general.

“Yeah…but you love me.” he replied, his breath warm against the back of your neck, echoing his earlier words with the same easy confidence that made it impossible to argue with him. 

You smiled into the pillow, too comfortable and too content to offer a snarky retort. Instead, you let yourself relax into his embrace, the steady rise and fall of his chest against your back a gentle reminder of the closeness between you. The room was quiet, except for the faint hum of the dorm heater kicking in despite not doing anything more than just filling the space with a soft hum that made you even more drowsy.

“You tired?” Alex asked after a while.

“A little.” you admitted, your body still humming with the aftershocks of everything that had just happened. 

“Grand.” he murmured, his fingers drumming a random pattern on your hip. “Means I did my job.”

You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head slightly. “Always so proud of yourself.”

“Just callin’ it like I see it.” he said, a smile evident in his voice. He pressed a light kiss to your shoulder, his lips lingering there for a moment before he spoke again, softer this time. “But seriously…you okay?”

“Yeah.” you said, turning your head just enough to glance back at him. “I’m fine, Al.”

He gave you a small, satisfied nod, as if your answer was all he needed to hear. “Good.” he said, his fingers brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. “Just making sure.” 

“You’re still gross, though.” you murmured sleepily, half-asleep already. 

He chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest and into your back. “Yeah, well, I love ya.”

a/n: hope it’s decent, idk, based on this request

tags: @st7rnioioss @theonlyoneswhoknowsblog @rentsturner @yourstartreatment @avxoxo1 @jqsvi @turnersfav @youresodarkbabe @psychedelicrocker @aacheinthejaw @zayndrider @humbuginmybones @tedioepica

[hp-hcs]

mattheo riddle if you beat the shit out of him in a fistfight <3 — mattheo riddle x gn! reader

Requests open

implied Slytherin (non-pureblood reader)

tws: violence… duh

OOC. LIKE AS OOC AS IS POSSIBLE. i am so sorry for whatever this is 💀 i’m like, borderline delirious kind of sick, so that’s my excuse ig 😌

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

homeboy is not doing fine

his bruised ego 😔

he’d been teasing you for years with his group of lackeys, and you just snapped

he made a comment that went too far about your blood status, talking shit about your family

you just dropped your shit, spun around, and decked that mf

obviously he wasn’t fuckin expecting that, so he just kinda froze like 👊💥😳🧍‍♂️

he has no idea what to do

((he’s also just a little bit turned on bc manwhore duh))

everybody in the hallway freezes too like,

“you dumb bitch the fuck are you doing??”

his friends are jeering, and he just kind of shakes his head like a goddamn etch-a-sketch and like, gently shoves you back by your shoulders (cause you cute bae 🩷 he don’t wanna ruin that pretty face of urs <3)

you, on the other hand, are just ready to FUCK someone UP

and if that someone turns out to be the dark lord’s son, c’est la vie

he makes one more lame attempt at a scathing comment and you just fucking TACKLE him

you’re on top of him (not like that you silly little sluts get your mind outta the gutter) in the middle of the hallway just beating the s h i t out of him

homeboy has no idea what to do lmfao

lowkey he’s falling in love just from your knuckles smashing his face in (masochist manwhore)

he def thinks it’s hot as fuck

one of the professors comes to separate yinz, (probably hooch, cause there ain’t no way she puts up with any shit) and has to fucking DRAG YOU OFF of him

he's got like, a broken nose, a busted lip, a probably-going-to-become-a-black eye, and yk, decimated ego

but he’s just looking at you with those fuckin PUPPY DOG eyes

🥺

congrats, he’s obsessed

he won’t shut up about you for the rest of the day, to his friends, his enemies, madam pomfrey when he’s in the hospital wing…

they're all like “ah. i see the mommy and daddy issues are making an appearance”

when you get out of detention and go back to the common room, he LEAPS off of the couch and over to you

you’re standing there with still-bloody knuckles and a try me, i dare you face

he apologizes profusely, like, to a kind of pathetic extent

you’re like “dude, you’re not pureblood either, dipshit”

he got called out 😔

you apologize for OvErReAcTiNg (you had to apologize as part of your detention & punishment lmfao) and getting ‘unnecessarily violent’

and cause manwhore he’s just like “oh no it’s fine that was hot”

y/n: 😶🤨🫠

he’s got a lil giggle ✨

literal heart eyes for you

so ur like “yeah i gotta mess with this guy even more”

you kiss his cheek and make his brain stop working

baby is bluescreening rn

he then ends up shadowing you for the rest of the week, following a half-step behind you wherever you go like a lil puppy

(i’m of the opinion that he’s just a slightly more violent golden retriever white boy)

((i’m not saying himbo but himbo))

walk him like a dog, sis

alexa, play lovefool by the cardigans

he’s ur bitch now, enjoy <3

[nadvs]

　　💔　⊹　❀　︵　∘　 better off (alt ending) ⟢

pairing rafe cameron x female reader

rating mature 18+

summary you and rafe take time apart to try to get better for each other. when you meet up, you realize your relationship is beyond repair.

content warning toxic relationship, mentions of parental abuse, all hurt/no comfort

this is an alternate sad ending to better off, inspired by this ask!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Rafe sits a foot away from you on the trail peak you used to always come to together. The sun is setting soon. The air is thick.

It’s been eighteen days since you decided to take time apart to work on yourselves. You haven’t said anything. It’s like you’re both afraid of breaking the silence.

You stare out at the horizon of where sky meets sea. Then, you meet his gaze and finally ask what’s been turning over in your head.

“Are we done?”

Rafe mournfully breathes your name, sounding defeated when he says, “You tell me.”

“What does that mean?” you say. You realize you sound just as exhausted as he does.

Frustration flares in him. He’s the one who’s always being strung along, loving you more, refusing to let you go. It’s always been like that. Now, you’re talking as if he has any power?

“I’m not the one who decides anything,” he says sharply. “You decided to break up. You decided to stop talking. You’re seriously fucking acting like anything here is up to me?”

His tone is so cutting. Mocking. You’ve been speaking for mere seconds and he’s already blaming you. He’s already angry.

But this is Rafe. He’s always angry. Maybe it’s something he’ll never change about himself. Either he can’t or he won’t.

“I’m asking because you blocked me,” you say, trying to keep your tone even, trying to have some sympathy for him.

“Not a good feeling, is it?” he snaps.

You shake your head to yourself and clasp your hands together tightly.

“So, you did it just to hurt me?” you ask.

Rafe’s jaw tenses. He doesn’t answer. It wasn’t the main reason, but he enjoyed knowing you could be trying to contact him and feeling rejected over and over again. Just like you used to do to him.

“Have you done any work on yourself? Like, at all?” you say.

The lack of belief you have in him stings. He angrily pulls out his phone to prove you wrong.

“This is what I was fucking doing, alright?” he mutters, opening his conversation with you.

A string of undelivered texts are on the screen. He blocked you just to send messages that couldn’t actually get to you.

Friday, 5:46 pm

It sucks not talking to you

Saturday, 3:01 am

You think youre so mmuch better than me and it oisses me the fuck k off

Sunday, 12:11 pm

I would take back a lot of the shit I did if I could

Sunday, 9:20 pm

I always fought to make this work and you never did. I always fucking cared more

Monday, 4:44 pm

I think about you every second. I’m going crazy

Tuesday 9:57 am

I miss your laugh

Tuesday, 3:01 pm

I wonder if you noticed

“If I noticed what?” you ask.

“That I wasn’t at that stupid party last weekend,” he admits.

“I noticed.”

He reaches for his phone.

“I’m not done,” you say, looking back down at the screen. His body tightens in irritation.

Tuesday, 11:30 pm

Obviously I love you and it’s so annoying every time you say I don’t say it enough

Yesterday, 1:20 pm

I would choose being sick together over being healthy alone. At least I’d have you

Today, 10:22 am

I just wish I was good enough

You realize your eyes have started to burn with tears. Your insides twist with a painful mix of hopelessness and a yearning to understand.

In the whirl of everything he wrote, you can’t get it out of your head that he said he’d choose being sick together. You’ve always had a fear he actually preferred dysfunction.

And while this is something you’d usually brush past, as you became an expert at ignoring his red flags, you need to be sure. Because now, you’re committed to being well.

“You’d rather be sick together?” you ask.

Rafe roughly takes his phone back. His heart feels like it’s getting wrung out.

You didn’t say you miss him too, that you love him too, that you agree that not talking sucked. You just found the flaw, the hole in him, like you always do.

He wrote all those messages and showed them to you just for you to judge him?

“Of all that,” he says with an angry exhale, “that’s what you nag me about.”

The pain of watching his anger grow right in front of you and you being desperate to stop it is too familiar.

“Sorry,” you say. “That’s not what I meant. I’m not trying to fight. I just want us both to want to be healthy, you know? I wrote - I wrote things for you, too.”

“What?” he snaps. “What did you write? How it’s never your fault?”

“No,” you reply, your voice getting louder. You take a deep breath, still so afraid of being vulnerable in front of someone who has a habit of arguing against your feelings. “The last thing I wrote was that I hope we find our way back. I miss you. And I love you, too.”

His muscles lose a bit of their tension.

“What else?” His voice is rough, almost strained.

You look out at the view again, thinking about all that you’ve wanted to tell him.

“I wrote that I used to feel good about myself around you, and then at some point, I really didn’t like who I became.”

It makes everything in him hurt.

“But I blamed you and I shouldn’t have,” you continue. “We both fought unfairly, but you didn’t bring anything out of me that wasn’t already there. I’m sorry that I made it your fault when I was mean.”

He blinks, staring at your profile as you continue to speak.

“And I didn’t like how controlling and jealous you could get,” you admit. “You didn’t trust me. I never actually did anything to make you question my loyalty, did I?”

Rafe chews on his lip. Tears prick at his eyes. He hates how you never understood this; how if you’re with him, if you love him, you shouldn’t give another man a second of your time.

“You still shouldn’t talk to other guys,” he says. “If you’re in a relationship, what are you doing smiling at some asshole who just wants to fuck you?”

You shake your head in disappointment, forehead creasing. You know you’re speaking differently than you used to, apologizing and explaining yourself carefully. But he’s the same. Rude. Domineering. Argumentative.

And he has yet to say sorry for anything. He’s still hung up on a twenty-second conversation you had with a guy at a party weeks ago, back when you weren’t even together.

He did this all the time. You’d talk to a male friend for a moment and he’d get angry. If you spoke with one of his friends, he’d visibly get tense. He’d even go through your following lists on social media and ask you why you followed every guy on the list, one by one.

You’re afraid he truly hasn’t improved one bit.

“Did you do any reading about jealousy or control?” you ask. “I can show you what I read if-”

“You act like it’s crazy to not want your girl talking to other guys,” he interrupts.

“Having a conversation with a guy doesn’t mean I’m flirting,” you retort, your own anger building now. “And it’s not even just guys! You’d even get pissed off when I went out with my friends. I’d spend the whole night texting you.”

“And blocking me,” he adds.

You let out a frustrated groan.

“Because I needed a break, Rafe. I was glued to my phone because of you,” you mutter. “It’s like you purposely started arguments so I couldn’t enjoy my night. And they all said-”

You stop yourself. You’re trying to be better and not spiteful. Not cruel.

“What?” he snaps, his voice dripping with contempt.

You can’t resist the urge. You want to hurt him.

“They all said you’re psychotic,” you say. “And that I could do so much better.”

Rafe tenses up again, looking away. His eyes are bloodshot now. You can do better. He knew that from the first date.

Guilt grips you. He was always painfully insecure. Maybe even more so than you realized. But he made you pay for it time and time again.

You don’t want to be this spiteful girl anymore. You want to be kind. Understanding. You never cared to be the bigger person before. You do now.

You think back to all the reading you’ve been doing about toxic relationships and how to dig yourself out of them.

“Jealousy is insecurity,” you begin, “and I think it’s important that you reflect and ask yourself why you’re insecure. Could it be from stuff at home? I know your dad didn’t always give you a lot of attention and that he hit you and-”

“Are you fucking serious?” Rafe mutters. Hearing you recount the traumatic stories he shared with you in confidence is too painful. He can’t hear it anymore. “You’re such a bitch for using that against me.”

You try to inhale again, but your breath is shallow and broken. Bitch. That insult is so simple, yet so vile. So dehumanizing.

This is how it always happened. The few and far between times you put your effort into having a calm, reasonable conversation, he’d explode, and then you’d explode, too.

“Don’t call me a bitch,” you snarl. “I wasn’t using it against you. I’m trying to understand you. Do you even understand yourself?”

Rafe scoffs in disbelief. You watch a tear quickly roll down his cheek. He wipes it away angrily. He doesn’t answer.

“Do you know why you act like this?” you say. “Have you thought about it at all these past few weeks?”

Rafe hates this feeling. He has lived it every day of his life. The harrowing pain of being neglected, the helplessness of being unable to control what he thinks and how he acts.

Nobody understands him. And that includes himself.

“I get it, alright?” he says, his voice cracking now. “There’s something wrong with me. You said it all the fucking time.”

Despite everything he’s hurled at you, you feel your heart break, looking at him almost curled up as he sits beside you, his cheeks streaked with tears.

You think of his texts. He said he wishes he was good enough.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” you say. “You’re good enough, okay? You’re more than good enough. I just want to understand why you treated me so bad.”

“You treated me bad, too,” he counters.

You grimace. Immediately defensive. No accountability. Just blame. He hasn’t changed at all. And you’re falling back into bad habits just by talking with him.

A few moments of silence pass between you, both of you sniffling but saying no words. You have no hope left.

“I was really hoping we could bring out the best in each other instead of the worst,” you finally say. “But if you don’t actually do the work to get better, it’s not going to happen.”

Rafe meets your eyes. He’s shattered. He’s never felt smaller. And it’s all your fault. Being with you just hurts at this point. And he doesn’t want to hurt anymore.

“Then it’s not going to happen,” he answers, tone low.

You blink away tears. You look down at your lap. You exhale. And you say the hardest possible thing.

“This is over,” you half-whisper. “Goodbye.”

You stand and he doesn’t stop you. Even though going down the trail in the dusk on foot is dangerous, he doesn’t stop you. You start to walk home and he doesn’t stop you.

Eventually, a motorcycle roars past you on the street. You know it’s him. You know he passed you and didn’t care enough to at least offer you a lift home.

But of course that’s the way your mess of a relationship ends. He claims he cares, then when it matters, he obviously doesn’t give a fuck.

As you walk home, wiping away your tears, your heart broken over the fact that he didn’t have the decency to drive you home or the love to actually try to improve himself for you, you tell yourself that eventually, you won’t give a fuck, either.

You won’t talk to him anymore. You won’t touch him anymore. You won’t ask about his day or run your fingers over his hair the way he likes or laugh together. Ever again.

One day, this won’t feel like a loss. Because whatever you had with Rafe wasn’t love. It was poison and you can’t willingly drink it anymore.

(continuation)

[atinyniki]

happy new year!

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!bangchan x f!reader

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, established relationships, fighting, reader flinches bc of chan, reader is neglected, chan says rlly mean things, reader is pretty mean too, takes place on new years/new years eve, mentions of physical abuse, kissing, crying, kiss and make up (literally), chan is kinda mean to his manager (that he hates), petname, mentions of cheating, cheating accusations.

authors note: two posts in one day hell yeah ! this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 1524

“seriously?!”

he can only bring himself to nod, evidently a little upset at your yelling.

you both go quiet for a moment, until you break it.

“chan.”

he looks up at you again, playing with his fingers in his lap. “hm?”

“are you cheating?”

“what?”

“are you cheating on me?”

“n-no! how could you even… ask that?”

you roll your eyes at him. “you havent been home in so fucking long, chan. and now you’re leaving again and it… it’s just not fair!”

“it’s my job, y/n.”

“your job shouldn’t require you to be away from me every day! you just got back”, you yell even louder.

he knows you’re frustrated, but he’s starting to get a headache. “y/n—“

“plus, even while you are here, you’re never with me… you’re always sleeping and you never talk to me.”

and then it just snaps.

“well, what if i’m tired y/n? what if i’m tired of running around all day with shitty schedules? what if i’m tired of having to exert my fucking voice all the time? what if i’m tired of you being so fucking clingy with me? i need rest!”, he yells back.

tears begin to well up in your eyes, and the words lump in your throat. despite that, you still manage to say something.

“am i really that clingy just for wanting the attention that i deserve? i’m your girlfriend for gods sake!”

he gets up off the bed, lightly stomping towards you. you notice the upset look on his face, red, teary eyes, and his hands are clenched into fists at his sides. 

you scoff at the sight, “what, you’re gonna fight me now? do it. hit me.”

though you act confident, you gulp, scared for what’s to come. he reaches a hand up to cup your face, but you shut your eyes, flinching and turning away.

there was no impact.

you turn back to chan, his face completely streaked with tears. “did… did you think i was really—“

he cuts himself off, unable to say anymore. 

you trip over your words, you know you’ve hurt him now. “i- i mean… i don’t see another reason your clench your fists. i just thought that—“

“clenching my fists eases the pain of my heart. that’s why i do it so much.”

“o-oh”

an uncomfortable silence passes between you two.

“um… just- come to me when you’ve calmed down. i’ll be in the living room.”

“o-okay.”

he makes his way out the room, his fists still clenched. you hear the pitter patter of his tears hitting the hardwood floor, and you just break.

you’ve done it. you’ve made him cry.

what kind of a girlfriend are you?

you finally let everything sink in. you sit down on your bed, wrapping yourself in the blanket, but it smells too familiar. it smells like chan.

chan will be leaving you again in two days. you don’t want to think about it, but you can’t stop. this is what he wanted after all. to think about it. to calm down. but you can’t.

not after what you said to him. not after what he said to you. your breaths become labored, gasping for air in between sobs. it gets painful, you can’t inhale anything anymore.

you’re stuck, you can’t breathe, but you’re being too loud. so you slap your hands over your mouth, hoping that he won’t hear, and you stuff your face into a pillow, body convulsing with every breath.

you clench the bedsheets, just needing to hold onto something.

chan was right. it helps.

he is not doing too well without you either. he hasn’t been able to stop crying since you left the room, trying to distract himself with the future next.

he turns on the tv, finally finding the countdown to new years. that’s when he realizes how late it is. how long it’s been since your argument.

it’s five minutes till midnight. 

the next year.

a fresh start. 

but it won’t be the same without you by his side. he tugs at his shirt, sobbing into the cushion even more. he’s careful not to make a sound, not wanting you to feel even worse than you already feel.

before he knows it, there’s only two minutes left. he has to apologize. he has to make it right. there’s no way in hell that he’s ending the year like this.

he walks over to your shared room, knocking softly.

one minute.

the doorknob turns, and you’re forced to face him again. it’s just the consequences of your actions.

your pillow is soaked with your tears, as is his cushion that’s still laying on the couch. your hands are clenched into fists beside you, just as his are now. your bloodshot eyes stare directly into his, and it’s like looking at a mirror.

twenty seconds.

he walks over to the bed, eyes flickering between the wet pillow and your puffy face. his heart clenches at the sight, and he digs his nails even harder into his palm. 

still wordless, he kneels down in front of you, where your legs are hanging off the bed. he’s now level with your face, making him far more intimidating.

five.

a tear leaves his eye.

four. 

he smiles softly at you.

three.

he glances at his phone to check the time, hand reaching for yours. you comply of course, interlacing your fingers in a desperate attempt to just feel him.

two.

he leans in closer to you, heart beating wildly in his chest. it feels like your first date all over again, the nervous feeling in his chest.

one.

using his other hand, he cups your face and pushes your foreheads together, smiling even wider when you don’t flinch away from him this time.

zero.

he steals your lips in a breathtaking kiss, and you just melt into it. your hands find his face, but before you can do anything, he picks you up, lips still attached to yours.

he sits down on the bed and pulls you further into his lap so that you’re straddling him, finally breaking away from the kiss with tears in his eyes.

“happy new year, babe…”

even more tears escape from your eyes now, but you just can’t help them. you hug chan even tighter now, scared that if you let go, he’ll be gone.

“you waited?”

“of course i did. i couldn’t leave you alone.”

you kiss him again, whispering little love confessions to him as you do. “happy new year…”

he knows the elephant in the room still needs to be addressed, and sighs. “i’m sorry for calling you clingy. i didn’t mean it. i really love the attention you give me, and i truly wouldn’t trade it for anything”

“i’m sorry for yelling at you… i should’ve handled it better. thank you for being patient with me.”

“you know i would never… um- do something like that to you… right?”

“i know chan, i was just scared… it was in the heat of the moment. i’m sorry for not understanding.”

he hugs you tightly, “i love you so much, y/n. you’ve changed my entire life, and now i actually look forward to it. i look forward to my schedules, my comebacks, even waking up… because i know it’s for you.”

you can’t even say anything, scared another sob will come out, so you take some time to process his words, kissing slowly at his neck.

“i love you too, channie. thank you for being here for me, and thank you for loving me. i know i can be so difficult and just a lot at times, but it means a lot that you try to make time for me.”

he smiles, kissing you again and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “oh my baby… i’ve missed you.”

you’ve never heard this type of emotion in his words before, so you just know his words have a different weight to them this time. 

“i missed you too. wondered how i was gonna sleep without you, knowing that you were hurt and—“

“shh baby… it’s okay. i’m here now, yeah?”

“but you’re gonna be gone again in two days”, you jokingly whine.

he smiles, grabbing his phone from the end of the bed, and he calls someone. you’re not sure who, but it rings for a while until they answer.

“hello?”

“i’m not going to be there for the interview.”

“what? why?! we’ve been planning this for months.”

“okay, well my girlfriend was planning on having me to herself for months, but we don’t all get what we want, do we? i’m spending time with her now.”

“can we reschedule?”

“we’ll talk later.”

he hangs up, and you’re a little stunned by the coldness of his voice. you know he hates his manager, but that much? 

“not anymore, y/n.”

“i love you, dumbass”

he giggles, “i love you too, angel.”, he says in a sing-song voice while bopping your nose.

“angel? you’ve never… called me that before…”

he hums, giggling again and quickly kissing you on the cheek.

“new year, new name.”

<3

[samandcolbyownme]

We need more demon!Colby or vampire!Sam 👀

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, swearing, demon!colby, talk of death/dying, kind of a dark aesthetic, talk of demons, angels, etc. demonic attachment?, compulsion, mentions of police, kissing, hair pulling, choking, biting, scratching, unprotected sex, oral (f rec), filth - please read with care 🖤

With the way I wrote it, the reader is hinted at being bisexual - if you have an issue with that, please just move on. No hate or rude comments will be tolerated,

Word Count: 5.4k | Unedited

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

You walked into your apartment, saddened by yet another break up.

You never had issues with dating before. You never had any issues keeping anyone’s attention. But, for the last few months, you’ve been noticing a trend.

You meet a guy, or girl, and it’s going well for the first few days, sometime a few weeks, and then you’re back to square one because you felt like you needed to break things off, or they just said it wasn’t going to work out.

There’s never any clear reasoning either. It’s always the, it’s not you it’s me, I promise, and then you both go your separate ways.

You made your way to your bed, ripping the covers forward so you can climb in and pull them up over your body.

You sniffle, allowing the thoughts to take over completely.

Am I boring? Why does this keep happening? Am I annoying? Do I talk too much? Bad breath? Did I say the wrong thing? Am I not pretty enough? What’s wrong with me?

You let out a sigh, begging for the thoughts to just shut up, and eventually they do, you start to feel more relaxed, and eventually you fall asleep.

—

Colby stood over the woman’s sleeping body for hours, keeping her dreams on the happy side as he manipulates himself into it. He tilts his head, watching you as a small smile spreads across your closed lips.

“Just relax, my love. You’re going to be fine.”

Your phone buzzing in your sweatshirt pocket wakes you up. It takes a few seconds to register what’s happening as you roll over and rub your eyes, but eventually you pull your phone out, “Hello?”

“Where are you right now?” Your closest friend, Brooke, practically yells into the phone, “Are you home?”

You keep your eyes closed, still half a sleep as you mumble, “M’home. Sleeping.”

“Do you have someone there with you?”

Your eyes snap open and you sit up, “What did you just say?” You reach over, turning your bedside lamp on and you look around as she speaks, “I’m going to take that as a no, so just stay where you are. I’m on my way up, I’m going to call the police.”

She hangs up before you can say anything else and you’re left in silence, your heart racing faster at the thought of someone being in your apartment without your knowledge.

A few minutes later, your phone lights up and you instantly answer, “What did they say?”

“They’re sending a unit over, probably a few minutes. I’m unlocking your door now.”

You kick the blankets off, walking over to your door. You look out, watching as Brooke makes her way through and you hang up, “What exactly did you see?”

“Okay, so you know how you can see the parking lot from your bedroom window?”

You nod and she raises her brows, “Well I pulled in, and I seen like this shadow figure behind your curtain, and it was a lot bigger than you would be if you stood there. By the time I went to get a picture or a video, it was gone.”

“How many times did you call me?” You pull your phone up, going to the call log, “I woke up on the third call, but you’d think I’d wake up? I’m a light sleeper.”

“No I know, which is why this is so fucking weird.” She sighs, jumping when there’s a knock on the door, “Police.”

You sigh, “Okay, we’ll just let them do a sweep.” You walk over, opening the door to reveal two officers. The blonde one nods, “We’re here about a possible break in? I’m officer Golbach and this is Officer Webber.”

“Yes, I called. I’m Brooke, this is y/n.”

They walk in and Golbach turns towards you while Webber walks around the space, “What exactly happened?”

“We had plans for a dinner and movie night, so I come over and when I looked up at her apartment, because you can see it from the parking lot, I seen this tall, probably, almost six foot figure in the window.”

“What time was that?” Golbach asks, “Did, ah, it move or anything? Walk away, turn? Anything?” He adds as he writes down what Brooke is saying, “Probably about Seven, seven thirty? And No.” She shakes her head, “It was just standing there still, and when I went to take a picture. It was gone.”

“You’re the one who lives here correct?” He points to you and you nod, “Yes, I do.”

“Okay, and what were you doing while all of this took place?” Golbach asks and Webber comes out of your spare room, “It’s clear. No sign of forced entry on any of the windows by the fire escape.”

“I was asleep.” You state, “I woke up to my phone buzzing in my hoodie pocket.”

“Okay.” He nods and continues jotting stuff down, “Are you a light sleeper?”

You nod, “Yeah, you can ask Brooke. I wake up with the slightest noises. I hate it.” You look over at her, “Did you look at the right window?”

“Did I look- yeah, I know which windows are yours, y/n.” She sighs, “Also, how in the hell are you so calm right now!?”

You didn’t realize it, but you were way calmer than anyone else would probably be in a situation like this, especially with it being your apartment.

But it is weird because you would normally freak out just thinking about something like this happening.

“I don’t know.” You shrug, “I’ve had a day, okay. I-I just got broken up with for no reason, again. I came home after sitting in the parking lot of the convenience store down the street for an hour eating ice cream, and then I came home and went right to sleep.”

You were blowing off steam, and Brooke knew that.

“It doesn’t sound like it, but I have to ask. You don’t think this person should broke up with you would come here, do you?” Golbach raises his brows as you sigh, “No. They seem to not want anything to do with me, so.”

You see Brooke’s face fall, “Y/n.”

“Like I said, there’s no sign of forced entry. Did you lock your door when you got home?”

“It locks automatically each time it closes.”

Webber nods at your words, “You’re staying here tonight, right?” He looks to Brooke and she shrugs, “Do you think it’s safe to stay here, tonight?”

He nods, “I’ll go down and check the cameras in the office, but I’d say you two gal’s will be alright.” He makes his way over to the door, checking the lock, “You didn’t pass anyone on your way up or down the steps did you?”

Brooke shakes her head, “It was just me when I came up.”

“Okay.” Webber leaves and you look back to the blonde officer, “This is my card.” He hands you a white rectangle, “I’ll do a few drive-by’s tonight, I’m on the clock until six a.m., call if you need anything.”

You nod, “Thank you for coming. I appreciate it really.”

He nods, “Not a problem, now I just need a few more things from both of you, and the. We’ll be out of your hair.

You answer the questions, full name, social, date of birth, etc., same with Brooke.

By the time you’re finished, Webber comes back up, “Cameras were clear. There was no one on this floor, even after you got home.”

“Maybe you just got unlucky with a haunted apartment?” Brooke laughs slightly and you roll your eyes, “Yeah, just my fuckin’ luck.”

——

A while after the officers left, you were sitting on the couch, moving on to your third movie when you hear this light whisper.

You look over at Brooke, “Did you say something?”

She looks over at you, shaking her head, “No. I’ve been waiting the tv.” She points with her finger and you nod, “Oh, okay.”

“Why?”

You shake your head, “I thought you said something. It must be on the tv.” You check your phone, letting out a sigh, “I think I’m -“

“No. You’re not going to bed.”

“Why not?” You whine, “I’m tired.”

“No. You’re avoiding talking about what happened with Jace.” Brooke sits up, “I gave you time, now talk.”

You sit up, moving your blanket to cover your legs more, “He said, and I quote, it’s not you, I’m just not feeling like I need a relationship right now, end quote.”

Brooke nods, “And how does that make you feel?”

You laugh slightly, shaking your head. Your mood changes, “I don’t know what happened, Brooke.” You look over at her, “I never had this happen before. It’s like.. the universe is trying to keep me unhappy. Or something I don’t-“

She tilts her head, “I think you need to focus on yourself. Do you really need a boyfriend anyway?”

“It would be nice to not have to come home every night, alone. You at least have Liz, speaking of. Where is she?”

“She got stuck at work, they didn’t have enough people to cover third so she got mandated to stay.” She rolls her eyes, “But anyway. I think you need to take a little you time, focus on whatever it is that you need to focus on, and come back better than ever.”

You nod, chewing on your cheek. After a few minutes of nothing but the tv in the background, you take a deep breath, your voice quiet, “Maybe.. I’m just too fucking complicated for anyone to love.”

“No, y/n. That’s not true.” She moves closer, “not even close.” She turns towards you, “Probably unprofessional on his part, but you should go for officer Golbach.”

“No.” You shake your head, “Wait. Didn’t you just tell me to-“

“Shh, we’re starting over.” She laughs, “I seen the way he cared for you more than he would anyone else.”

“You don’t know that.” You shake your head, your stomach slowly turning at the thought of even thinking of the officer.

“I’m telling you.. fuck what I said before, give it one last try.” She leans in, “He’s an officer, y/n.”

You feel like you could puke, “Stop.”

“What? Does thinking about him ma-“ She stops talking as you rise to your feet, “I’m going to bed. You can stay, but I’m just..” you sigh, “I need to be unconscious for a few hours.”

She raises her hands, “I’ll be out here if you need me.”

You give her a nod, “Sorry I’m ju-“

“You don’t need to apologize, y/n. I overstepped.” She sighs, “You deserve happiness, and I promise we’ll get you to it.”

“Thank you.” You smile and head for your bedroom, stopping when you smell something vaguely familiar - Sandalwood vanilla.

“Do you smell that?” You look back at Brooke and she tilts her head, “Smell what?” You shake your head, “Nothing. Goodnight.”

“Night.” She calls from the couch as you close your door. You stand there for a second before turning around to get into bed.

You let out a sigh as you nestle your head onto the pillow, staring over at the wall that’s lit up by the full moon.

You roll over, staring out the window at the sky, just wishing you’d be able to fall asleep, and your wish was granted.

—

His hand runs through your hair, calming every vibrating nerve in your body, “I’m here, my love.” You kept your eyes closed, letting out a sigh, “I love you.”

Your eyes open, meeting bright blue ones. A deepish voice follows, “I love you. I will go to the deepest depth of hell and back for you.”

His lips press to yours and quickly move down your neck, biting and nipping your skin, which causes you to whimper out.

“Louder, my love. I want you to be louder.”

You comply, moaning out louder when you feel a hand slide down your body to stop between your parted thighs. His fingers drag up and down your folds, fingers circling your desperate opening, “P-please.”

“Please what, my love?” His fingers slowly push in and you gasp-

Awake.

You sit up, looking around as if someone was actually there with you, but maybe it was just a dream, right?

You sigh, getting out of bed to walk out to the living room where Brooke is no where to be found. You furrow your brows, looking around for your phone to see if she texted you.

Liz got off early, heading home. Call me when you wake up.

You scroll down on your notifications and see a text from an unknown number, Just figured I’d check in. Any more disturbances at your place? It’s Sam by the way Golbach, officer Golbach.

You smirk slightly at the obviously nervous, text and click it, Nothing to report, sadly.

You sit down, seeing the bubbles immediately pop up then disappear, Sadly?

You lean back, biting down on your lip as you think about what Brooke said to you, but then you suddenly feel like this is wrong.

Not wrong as in flirting with the law, but wrong in the, I don’t belong to this person, kind of way.

You let out a sigh, “Fuck!” You throw your phone over your shoulder, absolutely sick of feeling like you… well, you didn’t know how you felt, exactly, but your interest changes when you don’t hear the clatter of it hitting the floor.

“You shouldn’t throw things that are important.”

You stand up, whipping around as you immediately start backing away. Your voice is gone, banished with fear as the figure that spoke walks towards you, phone in his beautiful, ring clad hand.

His voice rings in your head without him moving his lips, “You know me. I’m not going to hurt you, my love.”

“W-who-“

“We’ll get to that. But right now, I’m going to need you to tell Sam, that you’re a little busy right now.” He speaks and hands you back your phone.

A chill goes down your spine as your fingers brush against his to take it, and you begin typing, I’m a little busy right now.

“Good girl.” The man speaks, reaching up to run his thumb over your bottom lip, “I have been waiting ever so patiently to meet you.”

“Who are you?” Your voice is low, but you don’t shy away from his touch as his fingers gently brush over your cheek to push hair behind your ear, “I’m just Colby to you.”

“Colby.” You repeat and his hand pulls you closer to him, “Yes. You know me.”

“How.” You furrow your brows and he gives you as second to think, but you shake your head, “I don’t-“

Colby reaches up, cupping your cheeks with his hands as he stares into your eyes, “Think.”

Suddenly, Colby floods your brain with all the times you’ve seen him.

You’re sitting on the beach, fishnets ripped and a cigarette between your fingers. You turn your head slightly at the sound of a voice, “You know, there’s no smoking on the beach, right?” You scoff, watching the ashes fly down to kiss the sand, “What are you, beach patrol?” You laugh slightly and stop when he moves to sit next to you, “Beach patrol would be a lot easier for you to believe, my love.”

—

“I’m actually meeting somebody, so I’ll just take a wine while I wait.” You smile at the bartender and she nods, “One red, coming up.” You let out a sigh as you look around, waiting for Seth to appear. After some time, you decide to text him, but to your surprise, he’s not coming.

“This seat taken?”

You look up, smiling at Colby, “Actually.. no.”

—

“What do you mean that it isn’t me? That is the most..” you scoff, “Just tell me. Did you find someone better? Am I.. am I.. fuck, Nathan, just-“

“I just don’t feel anything anymore. I don’t know what more you want. I would love to like you, but I just.. we aren’t compatible, y/n. I’m sorry.”

You watch as Nathan leaves your apartment, tears falling as soon as the door shuts. You walk over to your window, jumping back with a loud gasp as a crow lands on the sill, but you suddenly felt better.

—

“Those were only a few times, I’ve been around a while.” Colby’s hand slides back, his palm flat on your cheek, “Are you scared?”

You stare up at him, “I.. don’t even know what’s real anymore.” You shake your head, “You’re not..”

“Go on, my love. Say it.”

“Why don’t I remember ever seeing you?” You ask but Colby makes you look at him, “One thing at a time, sweetheart. Please.”

It takes you a few seconds to even muster up the means to allow the words to roll off your tongue, “You’re not human.. but-“ you slide your hand up his arm, “You feel human.”

Click.

“Wait. You.. you were there after every breakup I had.” You step back, “Nathan, Seth, Taylor, Francesca, I-“ you bring your hand up to lay on your forehead, breathing heavy as you feel like you are about to pass out, “The crow.. I-“

“Shh, hey.” Colby moves to you, wrapping his arms around your body as your head rests on his chest.

You feel calm.

Like this is where you belong.

“Do you remember what I told you in your dream yesterday afternoon?” Colby asks, “I told you that you’re going to be just fine.”

He tilts your chin up, “I mean that.”

A knock on your door causes you to jump, and Colby’s grip tightens, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Y/n, it’s officer Golbach. Just doing a check in.”

“I can g-“

“No, I’ll handle this.” Colby walks you over to the couch, “Sit.” You plop down, watching as he walks over to the door and opens it.

Sam doesn’t say anything, he just stares at Colby, nodding his head, but you don’t hear anything. Sam turns and walks away, leaving without any kind of fuss.

“What did-“

“I just told him that he needed to come back at another time.” Colby walks over and sits next to you, “I need your full attention, my love.”

“You can make me do anything, can’t you?” You keep your stare on him, “Is that what yo-“

“No. Y/n, okay. The only thing that I have made you do, is text officer dingdong, and break up with that asshole loser, who we both know would have only ruined your life.”

You raise your brows, knowing he was talking about Mitchel, who now has a bad rap with things you didn’t need, “Yeah. Thanks for that one I guess.”

“Oh, and your dreams. But other than those three things, my focus is on keeping you for myself.”

“Why me?”

“What do you mean by, why me? Look at yourself, y/n. You are beautiful.” He moves closer and shift towards you, “I would never make you do anything you wouldn’t ever want to do.”

“My dreams.. you.. last night..” you swallow as you think about the sex dream with him, and he nods, “There’s others.. but I figured I’d just give you the less detailed one to test the waters, you know?”

“But why?” You stand up and Colby reaches for you but you turn, walking away, only for him to appear right in front of you, “Don’t shy away from me.”

You step back, looking up at him, “None of this, is making any sense to me, Colby.”

“Because I love you.”

“You don’t e-“

“Yes I do, y/n. I know you more than you know yourself. Considering I’m a demon and all, I know that there are devilish thoughts in the minds of the most angelic, and y/n..” he steps towards you, his hands moving to your cheeks, “I know that you have some wicked desires..”

His eyes move from your lips to your eyes, “So, let me ruin you.”

“Colby I-“ You shake your head, “Can you just.. I don’t know what you do, but just.. I need a second.”

He nods and by the time you blink, he’s gone with a slight feeling of regret settling in your stomach, but you push it away as you sit back down, face in your hands as you try and figure out what exactly it is you need to figure out.

——

Colby was gone for a two or so. You were on edge, trying to figure out if he was in your apartment or not, in the walls. In your head.

You were jumpy, nervous, but above all, turned on.

Evil, above all, is truly seductive, and you found yourself missing a part of Colby, but then again, you were also second guessing everything you thought, felt, or heard.

“Am I able to see you?”

You look around, letting out a sigh, “Yes.”

Colby sits down next to you, “How do you feel?”

“Don’t you already know?” You avoid looking at him, but you feel like you need to, so you do. His eye lock with yours and he takes a small inhale, “I need..”

He stops and you turn towards him, “Colby?”

“You’re going to freak out. I can already see it.” He laughs weakly, “I’m in line to rule the underworld, but I can’t do that if I-“

“No.” You instantly stand up, backing away from him, “I don’t-“ you feel tears in your eyes, “I don’t want to die.”

He’s instantly behind you, arms around your body and that calm feeling settles in, but it’s only for a moment and you push him away, “No. no. No.”

Colby stands there, eyes on you as you pace, “Why? Why me? Out of all the people in the world, you just had to come and fuck up my life?”

He remains silent as you continue your ranting, “I have so much to live for. I can’t just- what would I tell my parents my best friend, I-“ you stop, taking a deep breath, “Can’t it be anyone else?”

You look up at him and he shakes his head, “I’ve already left my mark on you.”

“Mark? On me?” Your hands start to feel your own body but Colby walks over, “Not a physical mark, sweetheart. The others just know to leave you alone.”

“There’s others?” You scoff, “Of course there is.”

“Y/n, my love.”

“Why do you call me that? Seriously, I just..” you shake your head, covering your hands as you groan into them.

There was this strange entity standing in your living room, a stranger. But in reality, you knew him just as well as he knew you, you just needed a slight nudge to know that.

“I chose you because you’re just so..” he presses his lips together, gently reaching up to brush your hair from your face, “You.”

“Yeah because that explains it.” You roll your eyes and Colby clenches his jaw, “You know me. I know you. Say the word and I’ll prove it.”

“Prove it.” You shrug and he nods, taking your cheeks between his hands as rests his forehead against yours, “Close your eyes.”

You close your eyes and the memory of you and Colby at dinner one night replays in your mind.

He shows you sitting across from Colby at The Whiskey Well, having dinner and talking about anything and everything. That eventually led into Colby telling you about his, what you didn’t know at the time, human life.

You swore you fell in love that night.

“Did you?” Colby asks as he moves his head back slightly.

“Did I what?” You ask, knowing damn well why he asked. He tilts his head and you nod, “Yeah, but then you made me forget, so what’s it matter?”

“It matters because I need you.”

“Well I don’t need you, so..” you step back, “How do I break this.. I don’t even know, curse?”

“I’m not here to make your life hell, y/n.”

“That seems to be exactly what you’re doing, Colby.” You chew on your cheek, “Did you mess with my dreams again while you were-“ you air quote, “Gone?”

He shrugs, “Only the second night. The rest was you.”

You couldn’t lie, going from knowing that he’s always been there, to knowing he wasn’t there at all, hurt. It felt like a piece of you was missing, like you lost your security blanket or something.

“I’m not here to hurt you, unless you want me to.” A smirk twitches on his lips and you shake your head. Colby scoffs, “You may look like an angel, but I know that there’s a fire deep inside that pretty little body of yours.”

His words caused a chill of excitement to shimmy down your spine, “You know.. I thought for so long that the universe was so ugly for being against me..”

Colby tilts his head and you lock eyes, “But in reality it’s a gorgeous looking demon with a bit of an obsession problem.”

He cocks his jaw, nodding his head as he chuckles, “I mean what can I say? You’re the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on.”

You smile, looking down as your mind begins to race again. Colby walks over, lifting your chin, “Don’t do that to yourself. If you want answers, ask.”

You take a deep breath in through your nose, “I hate this. I hate the thought of having to lea-“ you stop, taking in a shaky breath.

“There’s ways around it, y/n.”

“I hate this. I hate even thinking about it.” You avoid looking at him, mainly because there’s more to it, and you know he’d get you to say it regardless.

“I just hate..” you look up, “That I fell in love with the way you touched me, without even using your hands.”

He licks his lips, smirking as he tilts his head, “So what? Are you saying yes?”

You chew on your lip, swallowing before you take a breath, “I need to know what it feels like when you do actually touch me.”

You walk over to him, hands sliding up his chest, “Are you controlling me?”

He shakes his head as his hands slide to your hips, “This is all you, my love.” He pulls you in, lips on yours and you instantly need more. You fist his shirt, pulling him closer as you whimper, “Please.”

“You have the control now, baby.” Colby whispers, lips trailing down your neck, “As I said, I will go to the deepest depths of hell to make you happy. I will be your sickening desire. I am yours, and you are mine.”

His words are low as he bites down on your skin, “Mine.”

He lifts you up, arm around your waist as his lips find yours, “Mine.”

He takes you to your bedroom, laying you down on the bed, “Whatever you want. Whatever you need.” He whispers, pushing up your shirt so he can kiss your stomach, “I’ll get it for you.”

“I-I-“ you gasp as he pulls down your sweats, “no more making me do anything.”

He nods as he looks up at you, “Anything you want, baby.” He kisses back up your body, “I promise. You’re the only body I need. Your souls was meant to be mine.”

He moves his way in between your legs, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to get my hands on you.”

“How are you real?” Your hands slide up his shoulders and rest against his neck, “Like I-“

“This is the body I died with, but trust and believe I can be anything I want to be.” Colby leans back, his eyes staring into yours, “But I just want to be everything you want and need.” His lips are on yours again, “Every inch of my darkened being aches for you.”

You whimper, hooking your legs around his waist, “I want to feel you. I need to feel you.”

He nods as he stands up, “Undress for me.”

Your eyes are on each other as you finish taking off the rest of your clothes, “You’ve seen me before, haven’t you?”

He nods, “But it still doesn’t compare to this moment right here.” He moves onto you, hips resting between your thighs as he slowly guides his cock into you without warning.

You gasp, throwing your head back as your nails dig into his shoulders and chest, “Fuck, fuck.” You moan loudly, chest rising and falling quickly as you feel yourself stretching to accommodate his cock, “Fuck you feel so good.”

“Words can’t even explain how you’re making me feel right now, baby.” Colby groans lowly, his hand sliding up to cup your throat.

You play your hand on his, urging him to squeeze, “You know me well enough. Just do it.”

His eyes darken and his thrusts are instantly punishing, ripping loud moans and pleasured screams before his hand cuts off all sound from your throat, “You sound even prettier than you look, my love.”

He groans, sliding a hand down to grip the outside of your thigh, “Do you like that?”

He looses a his grip just enough for a slight, “yes” to squeak out and he smirks, “Of course you do.” His lips crash onto yours and he groans into your mouth, “I fucking love you.”

Your back arches as he keeps your neck pinned to the bed, your cheeks start to heat up and you feel the tingling settling in as your vision starts to fade out, but all you focused on was Colby.

He lets go and you gasp out, “I love you.”

He stops, staring down at you, “You mean that.”

You nod and he shakes his head, “No, I mean. I can feel how much you mean that.” His thrusts resume, but they’re slower, “Fuck, you’re going to make the best Queen.”

Your heart skips a beat, but you’re not scared.

“I trust you.” You swallow, pulling him in to kiss, “This feels right.”

“I promise. I will take care of you.” Colby shakes his head, “Fuck, you’re the most important thing to me. The best thing I’ve ever got to touch, smell, taste.”

He pulls out, quickly moving down your body to throw your legs over his shoulders. His tongue immediately pushes between your folds and your hand flies to the back of his head, “Colby!”

He groans against you, gripping your hips roughly as he pins you down.

Your vision goes blurry as you arch your back, coming undone quickly with just the tip of his tongue, “f-fuck, fuckfuckfuck!”

“That’s it baby. Let it all go.”

Colby’s tongue guides you through your high, collecting every drop of your precious arousal before he kisses back up your body, “So fucking delicious.”

He pulls you on top of him, rolling onto his back as you straddling his waist to sink back down onto his cock with a loud moan.

You knew you were going to be littered with fingertip shape bruised, but that made everything hotter.

“That’s it.” Colby breathes out, “Fuck, just like that, my love. Look at you.” His eyes scan up your body to meet yours.

His hands slide up and down your thighs as you bounce, moaning louder and louder as you feel yourself coming closer to another orgasm.

Colby interlocks his hands with yours, bucking his hips upward and you squeeze his hands to hold yourself steady, “S-so close. Don’t stop, don’t stop!”

You throw your head back, screaming out as you feel yourself cum once more. Colby let’s go of your hands, sitting up to lay you back. His thrusts resume, guiding you through your high.

His thrusts come to a slow stop and he pulls out before laying next to you, “Brooke is going to be here any second.”

“She didn’t tell me she was-“

“Y/n? You home?”

You look over at Colby and let out a sigh before answering her, “Be out in a second.”

“Hurry up! I have to tell you something!” She yells back and you look at Colby, “You’ll come back right?”

“My love, I never leave.”

——

Thank you so much for being patient. I hope this is up to par and as always, I love you, and I will see you in the next one! 🖤🖤🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!