#one of the reasons I love Eurovision is because it IS a queer space and lacks toxic heteromasculinity

[because-its-eurovision]

I'm a queer Kä fan and i just want to say, you're not taking up ANY space that doesn't already belong to you ❤️ it's incredibly kind that you're worried about taking up a spaces in queer environments but i promise you you're not invading any queer spaces, but the fact youre worried you might be shows how considerate you are towards the queer community ❤️

Thank you friend ❤️

[jemandtherobots]

books read in 2023, part 1 of 2

thought i might as well do a post like this for the first half of the year bcos a) i've read a lot so this post will be long and b) i already have to go back like "i have no memory of this place book" with half of these.

Andy Weir - The Martian

No memory of why I wanted to start the year with this but I guess it falls in the category of "cosy read" for me so.

Jean Kearns Miller (ed.) - Women From Another Planet? (finnish translation)

Found my way to the mental health shelf of the local library and picked up some autism books instead of whatever it was I was actually looking for; this was an interesting read of essays and conversations between autistic women.

Puhu hereille (finnish)

This is an anthology of poems and short prose written by people on the autism spectrum and I 100% recommend it, I'm a little sorry it's hidden away in non-fiction and not shelved as poetry or whatever, but I'm very happy I found it.

Henry Fry - First Time for Everything

On one hand it's giving girlboss but make it a gay man, on the other hand this is such a good exploration of internalised homophobia and queer community dynamics and all that good stuff so I can forgive the girlboss vibes.

Catherynne M Valente - Space Opera

I nearly gave up on this so many times. Look, I love Eurovision, I love space, I very thoroughly enjoyed reading Douglas Adams as a teenager, so this should have been perfect for me. Unfortunately it was an unreadable mess and I hated every second I spent reading it.

Stephanie Julian - Hard Lines & Goal Lines

It must be hard writing romance because you need some sort of reason the characters can't be together and happy right from the start, like you need a plot, but whatever's getting in their way needs to also be something they can overcome by the end of the book. So sometimes that obstacle ends up being basically nothing, as it is in this book.

Emma Puikkonen - Lupaus (finnish)

Really enjoyed reading this one, but it was also a confusing reading experience for me as someone with eco-anxiety and no parental instinct, because I still found myself relating more to the parenting stuff than the eco-anxiety stuff. Anyway would absolutely recommend.

Sanni Purhonen - Jos vain muuttuisin toiseksi (finnish)

This is a poetry collection about disability which I actually passed on before because the blurb on the back cover does this zero justice. Publishers: get your shit together 2k23. Everyone who speaks finnish: read this.

Erik J Brown - All That's Left in the World

Okay I fuckin love disaster fiction. This ticked all my boxes: disaster survival, gay, included a map.

Marian Keyes - Again, Rachel

I am a Marian Keyes girlie and I also read Rachel's Holiday years and years ago (fun fact: my copy of Rachel's Holiday has a cover with a woman holding a drink on it and quotes about what a fun light read it is which, uh, well), and so I obviously needed to know if my blorbo was okay. The worst part of this book was a few days after I finished it, someone close to me went into a treatment centre for addiction and when I visited them it took so much willpower not to be like "oh I recently read a book about that".

Andy Weir - Project Hail Mary

Thought I might read another Andy Weir to see if the rest of his stuff was as good; it was alright, but I am not the target audience Andy Weir is writing to and that's fine. In my notes, I wrote that this book felt like "Arrival for men" and I stand by it.

Lily Lindon - Double Booked

The first I ever heard about this was someone saying "despite the concept it is not biphobic" like yeah okay fair, but also this book feels like the dictionary definition of gay and somehow homophobic? I think a "woman discovers she's queer, gets sucked into a specific community of toxic queer stereotypes and finally learns to accept herself and her bisexuality" story would be really great if any of the characters were the slightest bit sympathetic. Unfortunately the stereotypes are never really interrogated in any way, there's never a "oh actually there's more to being queer than this one specific club/scene" moment, and everyone's just kind of a dick lol. The main character never really puts in the work, so her ending feels unearned.

Kait Nolan - Our Kind of Love

Gonna be honest, typing this into the list I fully could not remember what this book was but then I remembered, it was the one with a content warning at the start for cursing and pre-marital sex, which is a fair enough warning but not one I recall seeing before. It's a sweet book, I liked it, but some of the characters were pretty one-dimensional.

Becky Chambers - A Psalm for the Wild-Built

This was lovely but also felt really unsatisfying somehow? Anyway I will read anything Becky Chambers writes, so.

Pauliina Haasjoki - Himmeä sininen piste (finnish)

Essays on climate change, the environment, etc. I came away from this book with a lot of thoughts and with a long list of books and movies to get my hands on.

Ali Hazelwood - Love on the Brain

Okay I fucking loved this one actually, this was even better than The Love Hypothesis. Sorry not sorry. Two notes though: 1) apparently the two main characters had a height difference of 40 cm and as someone who once dated a guy maybe 30 cm taller than me, I have to say the logistics of the kissing are not as simple as this book makes it seem, and 2) I don't like Ali Hazelwood's sex scenes at all rip.

Xiran Jay Zhao - Iron Widow

!!!!!!!!!

Alexandria Bellefleur - Written in the Stars

When will I escape the fucking Harry Potter references, if this wasn't a library book I would have set fire to it. That said, the rest of it was really nice, we love a little F/F fake dating opposites attract romance moment, although I can't speak to the quality of the sex scenes bcos I was reading this on the train sitting next to my mum so I kind of skipped those.

Miira Luhtavaara - Pinnallisuus (finnish)

Idk this had some fun visual stuff but mostly this was just like. Words. Apparently this is an award-winning poet but maybe I'm not cultured enough bcos I cannot understand why.

Jennette McCurdy - I'm Glad My Mom Died

The internet's been buzzing about this so much I had to read it despite barely knowing who Jennette McCurdy is; this was really good but also I felt so voyeuristic reading it like "noo I don't need to know this stuff about a complete stranger, why am I reading this" as if she didn't write it herself in a book for people to read.

Christina Sweeney-Baird - The End of Men

Based on the reviews etc that I read, I think that a lot of people (including the author) approached this book from a non-speculative-fiction background. I came to this book having read a) a bunch of disaster, incl. pandemic fiction and b) The Female Man by Joanna Russ and Ammonite by Nicola Griffith. So I understand that this was groundbreaking to some people, but to me it was a bit of a let-down. Obviously not every book has to add something new to its genre, but with feminist sci-fi I think I'd expect some awareness of genre, at least.

Also. If you don't know anything about genetics and infectious diseases, it's okay to not go into detail about them. I don't mind the idea of a vague nebulous disease that only kills men (as a plot device in fiction, I mean, I'm not buzzed about the idea in real life), I can suspend my disbelief. I stop being able to suspend disbelief when an author writes something this incredibly wrong.

Louisa M Alcott - Little Women

I watched the 90's adaptation recently bcos my man (John Neville) is in it so I figured I ought to read the book someday - I mean, I read some of it as a kid but I don't think I ever finished it - and honestly, I think child me was right bcos this book really isn't all that great.

Trish Milburn - A Cowboy's Kiss

I go on bookbub to look at my deals, I see the word "cowboy" and black out and the next thing I know that shit is in my google play library. ANYWAY. A librarian named Anna gets in an accident, and has to be looked after by a sexy doctor who is also a cowboy?? Sign me the fuck up.

Fiona MacArthur - Lacey

This was a pretty dull book and also loses so many points for the love interest being a cop, but you don't look a free ebook in the mouth.

Rachael Bloome - The Truth in Tiramisu

Another pretty meh romance.

Kerttu Kotakorpi - Suomen luonto 2100 (finnish)

A little prediction into what Finland might be like in the year 2100 as far as climate and weather go - an interesting read, for sure, if a bit depressing (:

Sari Elfving - Saattaja

Well. I liked the concept (1939, biology student doesn't get to go along on a research trip to find a butterfly she's interested in, war breaks out and she fakes nurse credentials to go serve in the war so she can see the butterfly), and I thought it was well-written, but I also just mostly did not like this book.

Martha Wells - All Systems Red (finnish translation)

I hate reading translations but sometimes needs must - this was sooo good oh my god. I need to read this entire series right now immediately thank you.

Lempi Nyyssönen - Taskukellon aikaa (finnish)

Was at grandma's, picked up one of the few poetry books she has, turns out this was written by her former neighbour. Not the most interesting poetry I've ever read tbh but also not the worst.

CJ Carmichael - Melt My Heart, Cowboy

A pretty good book about the friendship between Rosie, a writer/chocolate shop worker dealing with a big life change, and Sara Maria, a young autistic woman recovering from a breakdown and trying to find her own place in life without being defined by her family. Oh except it's actually a romance between Rosie and Brant, Sara Maria's brother and the cowboy of the title. It's just that he's the least interesting character in the book, and a bit of a dick, and even Rosie is like "why do I like this guy, he's a dick to his sister and he kind of sucks" sooo.

This book gets bonus points for Rosie finding out Sara Maria is autistic and her reaction being, and I quote, "like the Sheldon character on Big Bang Theory?"

Sangu Mandanna - The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches

This was mostly Really Good except remember that thing I wrote before about having to write obstacles to romance that are exactly the right size? The obstacle in this one should have been too big, actually, holy shit.

Carina Taylor - Tuesdays Like That

This book has really fantastic dialogue. The rest of it isn't that great.

Holly Smale - The Cassandra Complex

I'm putting spoilers here bcos I would have wanted them myself: I was so distracted reading this bcos first a side character made some comment about Cassandra, the main character, being on the spectrum, I was like "oh is she autistic?" (yes) and when I figured she probably was my next question was "does she know she's autistic?" (no.)

I did enjoy the book though, would recommend.

Note: I have left three books off this list bcos some things are between me and God (or, as it happens, between me and Google Play Books which now knows too much about me). Anyway see you in six months for part two! :)

[roidespd-blog]

Chapter Nineteen : FRANCE TODAY

Third and final part of our absolutely tiring saga on France and its LGBTQ+community. As we came to talk about everything in the past tense, from the rise of the Gay Rights Movements, the AIDS epidemic to the Mariage pour Tous, now is the time to explore the present and what’s ahead of us. After that, no more France (Maybe. Probably. Let me fake promise that real quick.)

THE LAST FIVE YEARS

Let’s put it all out there right now. Acts of homophobic nature have been in constant high ever since the massive Mariage pour Tous debate. Although you saw a 38% drop from 2013 to 2014, it went up again in 2015 and never stopped. In the annual report from S0S Homophobie (which “celebrates” its 25 years of existence. Condragulations ?) for 2018, homophobic violence was up 15% from the year before. 1905 people reported various forms of abuse. I was one of them. Twice. Physical attacks against LGBTQ+ people were up 66%, from 131 to 231, with one attack reported per day in the last semester. It now seems like homophobia and intolerance are part of our french DNA.

The internet site Spartacus publishes each year a ranking of the most welcoming LGBTQ+ countries in the world. It judges said countries on fourteen different issues that constitute the basis of the Queer movement (Anti-discrimination Laws. Marriage/Civil Partnerships. Adoption. Transgender Rights. Equal Age of Consent. Religious Influence. HIV Travel Restrictions. Anti-Gay Laws. Homosexuality. Illegality. Pride Banned. Locals’ Hostility. ProsecutionMurders. Death Sentence). In 2018, France was a sixth most welcoming country for LGBTQ+ travelers. A year later, it was ranked seventeenth. It seems that our lower ranking is due to the hostility of our citizens towards LGBTQ+ people. In fact, off the top 24 countries (out of 197), we’re the only one to get a -1 in that category — For the record, the last on the list is Chechnya, with a staggering -5 on the death sentence column.

Insults. Rejection. Ignorance. Defamation. Discrimination. Harassment. Outings. This is French LGBTQ+ people’s daily bread. Is that the price to pay for equal recognition under the law ?

WHAT’S UP WITH THE PEOPLE ?

If interested, I urge you to read the SOS Homophobe report for 2018. It’s a hefty 164 pages but it’s full of precious informations. So. The people. LGBTQ+ populations are still being persecuted, but this time it comes from the people. “Positively”, a trending fact for 2018 was the victims’ courage to speak out and report those attacks either on social media or to the police. One might say that the report seems more alarming because people speak out more, contrary to previous years. Fuck those people. It’s alarming. End of sentence. But if victims go more and more to social media to denounce injustices, social media is still a nest of hateful speeches from the scum of the earth. “La propagande des sodomites en action” posted one homophobe on Facebook. “Dommage qu’on ne soit pas dans les années 30 en Allemagne” said another about a 19 year-old lesbian girl outed on the same platform. “Les gens comme toi, on les brûle, on les viole”.

In November 2018, Bilal Hassani was chosen to represent France at this year’s Eurovision. Hassani is an openly gay genderfuckin singer-songwriter with a youtube channel where he talks about everything and anything. After the announcement, death threats, homophobic and racist tweets were invading his social media. The singer then posted a video talking about it, complaining about the lack of reactivity from Twitter and Facebook when it came to put a stop to it. When one Facebook user sent a warning about an offensive comment on the platform (“l’homosexualité est un péché, il faut l’éradiquer”), it was replied that the comment was not infringing on any of the site’s rules but sure, it could be seen as offensive. The user was only offered the possibility to block the author of the post. Social media is a double-edged sword. It gives you more exposure, better ways to interact with people like you, be celebrated for who you are. It also tries to take you down. And since the law hasn’t totally caught up with the cyber world, most racist, homophobic, sexist websites go through loops to keep their actions free of any consequences.

If only people were only hiding behind a screen. Unfortunately, being a public space has become a dangerous situation for any of the Ls, the Bs, the Gs, especially the Ts or any of the letters of the community. Parks, streets, subways. Anything can happen to us. People are usually attacked by groups of men in premedidated acts.

One of the most recent and choking attacks is dated March 31st in Paris, when 31 year-old Trans woman Julia was insulted, grabbed inappropriately, spit on, slapped and pushed around when she came out of a subway station at République. Videos of the attack went viral within minutes of the event. Julia later said the traumatic experience left her humiliated. The fact that it was filmed brought awareness to those problems and Julia went on to give a few interviews and gave a face to the injustice. That’s one brave woman.

Worst case scenario was the story of Vanessa Campos, a sex worker who was murdered in the night of August 16–17th 2018, defending herself against a group of men trying to bully and steal money from her community. It took weeks before any sorts of sympathies came from the government (it took a “marche blanche” organized by the people). The police was apparently aware of the previous acts of terrors perpetuated by this group of thugs and did nothing. Worst of all, the trash magazine that is Paris Match published pictures of Vanessa’s corpse and exploited her image while tarnishing her identity by using the pronoun “he” to describe the late victim.

One of the worst aspects of that every day reality — and I’m guilty of that as well — could be the trivialization of those acts as “it is what is”. Someone says “Faggot”, I shrug. A dirty look ? Well, I knew what kind of neighborhood I was in. A trans hooker is killed ? Well, she was a prostitute AND she was trans. Do you know why? Because that’s all we hear. From the moment we are conscious of words as children, jokes about faggots are made. Puns about lesbians are openly uttered. Transgender people and Bisexuals are great to make fun of in family dinners. It’s called “casual homophobia” and we’ve all been practicing it. “Fais pas ton enculé”, “Avec ta nouvelle coupe de cheveux, tu fais lesbienne”, “On est pas des pédé, ici”. 

The practice of ignorance and the absence of second thoughts on our actions and words are what’s keeping the homophobia alive and well. We live in a different time. Queer people are there. They exist and they are so diverse. Now is the time for cis people to collect those informations, try to understand them and mostly, to course correct their behavior. Do not talk like your parents because that’s what you’ve been hearing all your life and it feels normal. No, it’s not. Not anymore.

WHAT’S UP THE WITH LAW ?

Are we safe ? In the anti-discrimination law department, we’re getting a 2 out of 3 in the Spartacus scale. Not so bad, I guess. In fact, numerous laws and amendments are here to protect/avenge us, in the cases of torture (Art.222–3 5 TER CP), murder (ART.221–4 7CP), Violence (ART.222–10/222–8/222–12/222–13), rape (ART.222–24 9 CP), other kinds of sexual abuse (ART.222–30 6 CP), threats (ART.222–18–1 CP), insults (ART.R.624–4 CP) and so on and so on. Now you are considered discriminated against when you are refused a service, a job, a raise, when people are making your life more difficult IF the reason seems to be your sexual orientation. You can always go to the police but then, you’ll have to prove it. Same goes for the insults. If someone tells you “faggot”, it doesn’t matter if you are one or not, or if the person knows your sexual identity or not, you can sue. Not a “main courante”, but sue his/her/their ass(es). But careful, because then again, you’ll have to prove it. And it’s a long, long process.

 Another important problem in 2019. The police. I’m not going to try and tear a new one to them because we all know you can’t take an entire section of people and judge them the same way, but cases of unprofessionalism are everywhere and known. That’s why the datas on LGBTQ+ attacks are somewhat completely false, since most Queer people do not feel heard by the law and their representatives and therefore do not report any wrong doings. In Lille last year, a couple was insulted and physically abused on the street on the premise that they were faggots walking together. They were refused access to the police station as a police officer told them that they “should not have held each other by the arm. It was a provocation”. In Lyon, same story. The police refused to come to the scene of the attack, saying that the attackers were already gone and there was no point to go there. In Dordogne, a police officer said to a victim that he couldn’t file a complaint because “lopette” wasn’t a clear homophobic term. That is not true.

If you ever (and I hope you won’t) have to go through this, know that any derogatory term that are even slightly homophobic gives you the right to register a formal complaint, not a “main courante”. And if the officer is not cooperative, you ask to speak to his superior right away and you don’t leave until you are heard. If possible, go with a supporting loved one. I was lucky enough to run into a very comprehensive and caring police officer and took every single detail of my claim and treated me with respect. He even called me a few weeks later to tell me that the dossier had been sent to the Parquet de Justice and that something will be done. Sweet guy. It does not always work that way. “Vous l’avez pas un peu cherché?” would be the scariest thing to hear at a police station. Seeing officers laugh at the story of you getting chased on the street by a homophobe willing to break your jaw. Having an indifferent person at the other side of your phone call while your boyfriend is bleeding heavily from getting beaten with metal bars.

Also know that if the abuse, in the case of insults, are not accompanied by solid proofs, the case will be easily dismissed by the Justice department. In the best case scenario, there will be a “rappel à la loi” in which the abuser will be auditioned and sermoned, maybe a letter of apology. Then nothing. And if by any chance you go to court, the judge might call the verbal abuse you’ve been the victim of a simple “neighbor’s quarrel”. In 2017, only 25 cases led to conviction in front of a judge. That’s fucked up.

WHAT’S UP WITH RIGHTS ?

In terms of rights, we’ve already established that gay people can legally marry one another, that they are no longer considered mental ill and they can adopt kids (though two parents of the same sex cannot be on the birth certificate of the child). Yeah ?

But one of the big topics of 2018 and still very much alive in 2019 is the implementation of the PMA (Procréation Médicalement Assistée or IVF in english) for single women and lesbian couples. The CCNE (Comité Consultatif National d’Ethique) is favorable to open the practice to all, but the Conseil d’Etat, not so much. Clearly an inequality under the law, it seems that the pushback comes from the public opinion that influences the government. The methods to take that public opinions is, at best, shady, since its based only on forums organized by the CCNE to talk about those issue. 21,000 people participated in those events, filled with anti-PMA and religious subgroups, and also members of the newly-statured political party Manif pour Tous.

I told you we would talk about them again. MPF transitioned into a political party in April of 2015, although weirdly, they never presented any candidates to the European, Presidential or Municipal elections that followed. Apparently, the political status was designed to gain financial grounds and be exempt of many important taxes. Oh, you fuckers.

Anyway, they are very involved with the question of PMA. They recently announced (last week, actually) new actions and manifestations to protest the access of the procedure to single and gay women.

The PMA will be examined in September of this year in front of Parliament, following a statement from Edouard Phillippe, who finally decided to follow one of Emmanuel Macron’s campaign promises of 2017.

Meanwhile, debates on the GPA (Gestation Pour Autrui) will be blocked as the government has no intentions to legalize it either to the straight couples or the gay couples — but I’m guessing putting it on the table for the straight ones would open pandora’s box for the fags. Right ?

Finally, my one big concern come to blood donations and the restrictions we still have to face. Since June 1st, 2016, gay and bi men can give blood under the condition that they practice abstinence for a whole year. That’s kind of an improvement from the fact that before that, they were banned all together. But seriously ? How is our blood more dangerous that someone else’s ? Don’t you run tests before you get blood from someone ? Can’t you impose a universal check up on people ? Are you so fearful of Aids in 2019 ? Are is it the multiple hepatitis that we, gay people, spread around one another like fancy glitter ? Don’t you know by now that those kind of problems are not limited to gay, bi and “men who have sex with men” men ? I said fuck way too much in that article, but FUCK. FUCK THE FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FUCK. FUUUCK!

Shit. I’m gonna stop here. I’m done. There are so much shit I haven’t talked about yet ! The mutilation of intersex babies (scandalous), the transgender rights (still a pile of shit), the social media trend of outing people (what the living fuck ?), work place homophobia (beware), the racial bias for LGBTQ+ people of color (enough!).

I’m so fucking tired. I can’t take it anymore. France suuuuucks. (deep breath) (focus) (find your center) (take a step back) Better. We are making strides in multiples areas. There’s not denying it. But everything is so fragile. A change of government, a foreign influence and everything can disappear in an instant. I can still get killed on the street because that day, I was wearing pink nail polish and the wrong person saw it. People still wishes that concentration camps were a reality, on the basis of religious morals that have no place in secular societies. I can’t change homophobes. I can only enter into a dialogue when possible and protect myself as much as I can. But here’s my plea to you, Queer people. Yes, the strides are great. We can marry, we can adopt, we can inspire to very different lives from the previous generation of queers. But if you are a cis white gay man, get your head out of your perfectly bleached asshole and defend those who are less fortunate than you.

Our goal as a community should be right now to advance Transgender rights in this country. Our moral obligation is to understand and make people understand Intersex people and put a stop (either inside or outside the community) to the bias against bisexuals. We cannot be strong and thrive if we ignore each other. Be a little less selfish and solidify those way-too-fragile grounds that our ancestors who went through death penalties, epidemics and public humiliations built for us.