#one of my rp partners got me into it and it consumed my brain

[rxttenfish]

i like it when people mistake miravi for a popular ship because. it's just me in here. it's literally just me. i just make ten thousand posts about it and draw a bunch of artwork about it and i haven't switched gears in years.

[pinkhairdoesntdance]

I swear I lived

|| I hope this post finds any and all of you well.

My RP history on tumblr is kind of weird. It's one of those things that can be all-consuming and great but then sort of slip into a compartment of the brain that loses its connections with all other nodes of memory.

What I know about the science of the human brain from EdPsych tells me that we rarely forget anything completely. Rather, the things that are forgotten are those things that don't have complete connections to other memories.

Gamora and the first two Guardians of the Galaxy movies and that era of the MCU held a great and special place for me at the time. I had just finished undergrad, and I was broke and kind of miserable, but it gave me a lot of goofy hope and joy. One of the first Peter Quill RPers I met just so happened to be someone who was basically from the same region I was! We never quite got to meet up in person, but I just thought it was crazy that someone within 30 miles of me was so touched by the same thing I was.

Over the past decade, the MCU has definitely had its ups and downs in my opinion, and for the most part my fandom interests have diverged and don't sit as soundly upon it as they used to. I know there's some great material coming out, but the end of Endgame and the fact that, as far as I know, GOTG3 didn't really "fix" it was part of a series of disappointments for me that just kind of made me finally let go. It wasn't a break-up with the fandom so much as letting it just fade away. Also, being an adult makes it really hard to have these kinds of hobbies outside the interactions with ones very closest friends.

That said, recently I saw Deadpool and Wolverine, and it was really cathartic. It pinged in my mind that this blog existed. I wanted to log in, if only to make sure it doesn't fall prey to one of tumblr's URL deletion schemes.

I saw on the dashboard that, incredibly, one or two of you are still active!

As alluded to above, I never actually saw GOTG3. I was initially excited, but then I just... didn't see it, because things I heard about it made me think it might be better for me to headcanon my own continuation and let it live in peace as it was.

Deadpool and Wolverine was very helpful to put my remaining love for the MCU into perspective. It was cynical but in a joyful and hopeful way. It acknowledged that it's very hard, sometimes, for some canon as behemoth as the MCU to continue on the way while being respectful to what was. I'm not old yet, but I'm in my 30s now, and as a Millennial it really hit home for me.

Logging in and seeing that some of you are still around made me smile, too.

Currently, I am not active in any part of the MCU fandom, but I might come back here and remedy that, if anyone is interested.

I might consider RPing Gamora again with selective partners. I would really like to have a Peter Quill to write with again.

I am also interested in a few other Marvel characters I could make sideblogs for.

Among them:

I would be interested in RPing Steve Rogers or Natasha Romanoff in a ship context with the right person.

I would be interested in RPing Skye | Daisy Johnson or Grant Ward in a ship context with the right person.

With either of the above, if I had the right partner(s) I would be interested in building a verse with gen interactions and overlap with anyone else who might be interested in writing with the characters.

I'm not sure how committed I am to this idea. It would take motivation. But, if you remember me or are interested or feel the same way, please reach out. You can send me an ask, or you can email me at somenewdisaster at gmail dot com. You can also message me on discord at prixprixprix or message me on my main tumblr account vampiremonday.

[ohhalefire]

✨ and 🥳 !!

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favourites?

Without a doubt, the wonderful cheering every month from my @sterek-roundrobinchallenge writing partners @greyhavenisback, @blue-eyedbeta and @halinski in our RRC group chat anytime a new ITSOK chapter of mine went up 💗 Sure, those comments never got posted publicly, but they're the ones closest to my heart from the most supportive group I could ever have wished for!

As for actual public comments: it's definitely any comment that has gone into depth about what they liked about what I wrote! Those are the best. 🥰

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

omg lol SO it depends how you define "start" 😂 When I was a kid - like, eleven - my friends and I would hang out and write RRC-style fanfiction... except we took turns doing them one WORD at a time, instead of one chapter at a time, like the theatre game. (Yeah, the nerd level is HIGH.)

But doing that means I've been thinking of the content I consume in relation to ways that I might be able to add to it for years. Since then, I've written drabbles on and off, but it all came down to the way those games made me think about the stories I loved, you know?

On top of this, my brain has been busy writing original stories and characters for pretty much as long as I can remember. I've always been writing, really, in some way or another.

And then a few of my RP partners got busy with life and other things, so I no longer had an RP outlet - plus I met my boyf, who is a Real Writer - so now here we are, writing fic like it's serious business or something. 😂

So yeah: when did I start? Was it those silly one-word-at-a-time fics with my friends? Was it when I started RPing? Was it something I trained myself to do by writing my own fiction? Or was it something I suddenly got the kick in the rear to start doing seriously when I met my partner? WHO KNOWS, IT'S A MYSTERY 🤷‍♀️

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

[bcnezone]

1 and 3!

a fun mun day in the sun.

1.What is your favorite trope to RP? I am WEAK for pretty much anything Tragic, I can't help it. The element of tragedy just adds a lot of interesting depth and opportunity for characters and exploring their thoughts and behavior as they go through the process of either accepting the Loss of something dear to them, or being forced to change, or anything of that element, or rejecting growth and doubling down on the negative, letting it fester and consume them- I just love getting into detail and deep diving into the character's mind. Not necessarily a trope, or at least one I can think of, but yeah.

3.Who are your longest rp friends? Ehhhhhhh... it's kinda hard to say. Its not like anyone chooses to leave friends behind, interests just change and you can wind up drifting apart, which sucks but its bound to happen eventually- at least when it comes to writing. Which is why its important to me that I try to connect a little and get to know my fellow writers, because I can't expect to be writing with them forever, but if I can find more things to do, it's way more likely that we'll stay in touch. And even if we do start to drift, it doesn't mean we'll stop being friends- even if we only really send messages to each other every once in a while, I still like touching base with them and knowing they're okay. But I got off track, sorry- technically my friend Zac has been my longest RP partner, considering she was the one who got me into roleplay- and, y'know, the fact that we were friends long before I ever started writing. More recent friends that, now that I think about it, I've known for at least a year now, are peeps like Gio, Tols, Xana, Kaya, Shig, a lot of peeps I met last year or even the year before back in the Arknights fandom. My brain is empty and I can't really think of anyone but there's definitely more, I'm just. Y'know. Dumb. But I love my friends, even if I'm bad at talking.

[taeslovehandles]

A wind of change

Heya you wonderful people out there! Make sure to drink lots and stay hydrated <3

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been a bit inactive for some time when it came to posting my own stuff (that weren’t img from v live streams where I was gushing over the cute plump cheekies). And some of you probably have been wondering why that is. Truth be told, the way I began this blog was a bit too eager?

I am getting more and more work and I just can feel and see that I won’t be able to maintain the level I started this blog with anymore because of two reasons:

1. I get exhausted and lazy seeing how much work it takes me to upload a new chapter because I made new visuals for each. single. chapter.

2. I rp through tumblr and mostly when I am on my phone which ends in lots and lots of spelling mistakes and autocorrect issues. All in all, I got exhausted to instantly correct them and the chapters being done just kept piling on until my brain just shot off and said, nah. Not now. (Does that mean pondus lucrum, paws and something else had been ready for a few months? Yes. The raw version was done. I would love to thanks bear anon for proof reading paws for me and getting it ready as well as someone else I forgot to ask if I can tag them, so you’ll be thanked as anon <3)

3. The god damn mood-boards. Sometimes I just couldn’t find the right images I wanted to use and it ended up in me spending 2 hours just to look for nice looking ones to use for a single chapter. It’s just time I do no have anymore. And without a mood-board image I did not want to post, so that was another reason for no posts. (Did you notice the prompts I kept writing? Notice what I did not have to do for these? Yep.)

SO. In order to keep myself sane and for you guys to keep enjoying my content, I decided on a few things.

I will only make 1 mood-board (the chapter images you see on tumblr when I post a new story). That means 1 mood-board for all chapters. Not individuals for each chapter anymore. I will make it clear and add a new format that says “ch1, 2. 3 etc. so don’t worry. You won’t be missing anything!

I will not post any  rp’s anymore that are not finished and/or have at least 1 chapter finished that can be interpreted as an ending or shortstory. Because let’s be honest? I hate reading fics and getting into them just to see it hasn’t been updated. I have to hit myself here as well because I did exactly that with some fics that are no longer available because rp partners just ghosted on me or I simply not having time.

^ With that said. I want to work on improving my streamline for you guys, so that content can be consumed easier and more pleasantly for both you guys as well as for me working on them.

Long story short: Modd-boards will decreas and look a bit differently, more chapter releases and more is coming and in the works.

Thank you for reading this boring blog post, I love you all <3

[celestialprincesslulu]

{{ Sheez, where do I begin? I have a lot to say and I’ve noticed a few people have unfollowed, and possibly blocked, me... for good reason too... I’m going to put my excuses under read more and then I’ll respond to the dms.

Man, I had to look back through my last few posts to put the pieces together. 

I made a post a few days before I went inactive addressing someone that I can’t help but miss. It put me into a weird mental place and albeit not the best one. I struggle a lot with my emotions and not being sad.

Which is another thing.. my depression hit really hard as well as my anxiety. I felt uncomfortable and my brain started to pit me against people who had become really good friends of mine. It painted people who were my friends as people who only tolerated me. People who dealt with me out of obligation or being nice rather than actually wanting to. I didn’t know how to communicate this to them. I didn’t want to, too. I didn’t want to be annoying or shove my feelings onto them. They didn’t owe me anything let alone any reassurance. 

I felt my roleplay was shit and that it didn’t compare to my partners either. That affected me being on this account. I got a few cruel anons. My mood dropped to dangerous levels. I had been in a relationship that was far from good from me and ended it due to countless other friends unassociated with rp suggesting it, I don’t remember if I had mentioned that, and came back on to cope with that. When I was having a lot of fun, I felt guilty. I felt like I didn’t deserve that fun because I felt like a shitty girlfriend when I was with them and I had been so unhappy. 

School was kicking my ass, corona started up, life became.. literally draining. Summer came and went, I spent a lot of time trying to find a place where I felt like I belonged. Trying to find something to pass the time over enjoying something. 

What is my mental place now?

Quite honestly, still shitty. I feel bad for leaving people without any word. I feel bad for leaving this without any word. Especially Chris, who I know won’t see this.. and Ava and Akira. They became three good friends that I particularly didn’t let in or tell my feelings to of the above mentioned. I instead merely shut down. I’m an emotional mess, my depression is still pretty bad (probably the lowest it’s been in a bit), but I want to try...

I’ve realized though that I want to do what makes me happy for however long I’m around. I love this blog and rping a lot, even if I’m shitty at it.. so if the fandom will take me back then I’d greatly appreciate it...If any of the above mentioned people see this... I’m so sorry... I’m so, so sorry...

I made a promise to myself when I came back last time, I wouldn’t do this again. I wouldn’t disappear. I wouldn’t clam up. I wouldn’t let my mental illness get the best of me. I would stay.. and I didn’t stay. I’m so angry at myself. 

I hope to do better this time.. I hope if I’m accepted, that I can communicate properly ooc with people.. I can accept friendship as it comes to me without letting my brain get the best of me... I don’t know if I’ll do rping tonight, I see quite a few archived accounts.. so I guess I need to figure out first who accepts me and who doesn’t.

Thank you for reading this, so much.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that I also got involved in a community that I let kind of consume my life. I stopped talking to a lot of people and focused on it because it made me feel useful. It felt like I was doing something. I neglected all of my close friends and they snapped me out of it. Since they did back in the summer, I kind of realized that I abandoned people in here.. I missed it and wanted to get back... but I didn’t have the courage to. 

I do now. It might be too late but I do now.. I’ve gotten school stuff under handle to some degree. In two more semesters, I’ll be able to go for a substitute certificate. I’ve been working on that and working to some degree hard. I’ve been wrestling with money struggles (like usual). And yeah... If there’s any questions, please feel free to ask me.

I’m probably going to bed soon because I’m on a decent sleep schedule but I’ll respond in the morning. 

[flamingbluepanda]

Get to know me!

So it has been a HOT minute since I did anything I was tagged in (if you tagged me in something and I didn’t respond I am so sorry please know I was greatful for the tag!!!) but @zasteroid tagged me in a get to know you meme- THANKS GIANNA!

1: your name?

My name is Alicia but I go by Ali!

2: your birthday?

July 14th, I just turned 19

3: zodiac sign?

Smack dab in the middle of cancer season. Let’s hear it for the crabs and the overemotional romantics

4: height?

Tbh it varies between 5’7 and 5’9 depending on when you ask me and who I’m trying to impresss

5: hobbies?

Can someone as consumed by fic writing as me really call fanfic a hobby??? Lol I guess writing. Or you could say that writing is my job and spending time with old people is my hobby. I also like TV and dancing around the kitchen when no ones home.

6: fave color?

Blue!

7: fave books?

Good omens, dragon slippers, Eliza and her monsters, one man guy and the girl who could fly.

This was not supposed to rhyme.

8: last song you listened to?

Uhhhh the last song my brain acknowledged during the drive here was sunflower but I know that’s not it.... oh! Sad Movies (make me cry) was just playing on the music choice solid gold oldies channel. That’s the one.

9: last movie you watched?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit I don’t think I’ve watched a OH WAIT the princess and the frog.

(I was gonna say “I don’t think I’ve watched a movie since I came back from Texas” and if that was true the answer would be “rocky horror picture show”)

10: inspiration/muse?

Uh.... jack Harkness? Jim Kirk? Idk man I dare to be as kind and selfless as the hero’s I write about in my stores

11: dream job?

Nurse

12: inspiration behind your url?

Okay when I was like 13 i had an IPod touch, and I bought this REALLY overpriced case for it that looked like a blue panda and didn’t fit at all, and I’ll always remember it because I tried to return it two seconds after I bought it and couldn’t. Anyway one day my little 13 year old brain said “man, flamingbluepanda would be a hella cool screen name” and I was just like “shit your right.”

However when I started making my various online profiles I used “geritashipper123.” Yes it’s still my ao3 name and no I will not change it. because while I know NOW that hetalia is problematic a few years ago it was literally my entire life. And get it’s was the first thing I ever seriously shipped, it has a special place in my heart.

(Also changing my Ao3 name would take down all my fics and erase all my comments and I don’t want that)

Anyway, some of my followers might remember that this blog started out as an rp account (yes, for hetalia. I was an annoying little shit when I was 14 okay) and when my partners all stared fading out and I got into Star Trek, I went through some big personal changes in my life and decided to change this to a general account. Geritashipper123 was already taken (by me, I’d just forgotten about it) and I was really looking for a fandom neutral URL.... this the brand was born.

God that was a long story. Sorry.

13: top three ships?

Janto, spirk, and RedPanda :3

14: chapstick or lipstick?

Neither.

15: currently reading?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA *dissolves into snakes*

(I’ve been slowly working my way through the lord of the rings for about a year and a half now)

16: people you want to do this?

WELL WE HAVE @victorian-sexstache @enderon @onedamnminuteadmiral (Liss I MISS you) @frostedej @iant0jones @blue-wolf-seeker aaaaaaaaaaaand @foxy-mulder