#one of my coworkers - we're friends! she hangs out with me on purpose outside of work! - was talking a newish coworker

[teaandinanity]

It is never going to stop being funny to me that people I love and who know I would never hurt them and who have seen me mad like one (1) time five or more years ago...

Are still like ‘oh yeah shit she’s TERRIFYING when she’s angry.’

[howtosurvivebeingsingle]

Does Confidence = Consequence?

Just last Tuesday, I was asking myself the same question when some geezer opened the door for me on my way into the dollar store. His comment was "Nice horns", sad enough it didn't end there. I had almost finished my shopping when he stepped in the same aisle as me making every petty, fake excuse to inch his way closer to me. He even used lines like "Whoops, passed the socks." and "Do I know you from some dating site?" Even in line, he kept trying to harass me, and then our idea popped into my mind. I looked him dead in the eye and said with a smile; "You do know I'm gay right?" I may receive a lot of hate for this escape routine, but it did manage to fend him off for a spell, that is until the lady in front of me said "Good job, I'll use that one!" He spun his head around and kept trying to make a move on me. Thankfully lady and her boyfriend in line behind me were generous enough to help. He stood blocking the aisle to ensure the man didn't lay a finger on me. I thanked them after we exited the store and hurried to my car. I know it's a bit of a topic to bring on an argument, but when your brain is in panic mode the craziest things slide into your brain and out of your mouth. I am enrolled in Aikido for self-defense purposes, but only one month of the class doesn't qualify me for defending myself just yet. Sensei says I'm too tense, but with time that'll fade. Honestly, I could've defended myself had it come down to it, but I indeed froze, and explaining that to him was a bit of a pill. He did however encourage me to work harder and remember how scared. He says that way I'll perform better in class and in real life. I guess I didn't help the situation any with my dress being short. I, like many, am not completely confident in my whole figure. I feel that my torso could use some work but the rest of me is great particularly my legs. This dress did show a lot of legs and made me feel confident until that point in the day where grandpa showed up. It covered my torso, and butt pretty well, but my legs looked especially good in it with a pair of low heels. I'm positively certain that hetero women like myself struggle with this issue, but I wonder if my people from all genders feel this way. Did you also use a really bad escape in a fight or flight incident?

Alexis: "I used a period excuse to get out of a bad date. Does that count?"

Michael: "A guy kept following me as I went shopping and I told him my boyfriend was waiting outside for me and pointed at a random guy. I'm asexual."

Jessie: "Sometimes, faking you have to go to the bathroom works. Just make sure it's one with people in it."

Kesley: "At bars, I get harassed a lot, I always order an 'angel shot'. That's a secret code that tips off the bartender and lets them know someone is bothering you."

Travis: "I've been harassed by girls before and it wasn't fun. She's a coworker of mine that doesn't take 'no' lightly. I told her I already had a date."

How sad is it that the things that make us feel confident can instantly turn into a bitter situation with the wrong people? All I showed were my legs, and that situation made me want to burn that dress to ash. Does being confident really come at a cost? Tuesday did show me that in some cases, it definitely does. The woman in front of me, who blew my cover, was a senior citizen. Her praising comment didn't aid me in any way but brought to my attention that people of her generation still get the same kind of treatment, which I'm sure is no different for younger generations either. On various social media platforms besides this one, I've noticed a challenge where someone says; "What would you do if all the men went away?" I've noticed lots of people classifying as female said similar things like going for a walk alone, wearing whatever they wanted, eating as much as they wanted without judgment, etc. They make many men sound like animals, and I'm starting to think they're not half wrong. This whole week I've noticed wandering eyes from various places outside the dollar store. The grocery store, restaurants, church, the pharmacy, the mall, even just strolling through the park. It feels like people are undressing me with their eyes. Nowhere is safe! Men are the carnivorous beasts and we are the main course. Just when I was starting to feel unsafe everywhere, I remembered the sole man aside from my father that didn't look at me that way, my best friend.

Now I know what you're thinking, having a male best friend means he's gay, or he secretly likes me. The answer is no. Most teen dramas or movies want you to think that a man and woman who are best friends are the two answers above or friends with benefits. We do go back since junior year of high school, where everyone called him gay and I was the sad emo chic. He asked me out to see the homecoming game since he was late to too many band practices, at the time no one wanted to date me and my older brother put him up to it. He did kind of like me at the time, I didn't know him aside from drama, so I gave him a chance. We had fun but decided we didn't see each other that way and have been friends since. All the other people we knew from school sort of left the two of us and since then we've grown protective of one another and have been in separate relationships when we can find them. In public, I call him my brother in front of pretty girls, so no one thinks we're a couple. In all my years I'd never imagined my best friend being a straight man. We take good care of the other and encourage them to get out and do things. Most of the time, he drags me on terrifying rollercoasters and I try to get him to eat new foods. What is it with men and eating nothing but meat and soda? We're out of town working a convention this weekend. Perhaps I should've slipped broccoli in his lunch so he'd never know.

That doesn't bother me nearly as much as seeing how lonely he is. He's never done anything to me and we have the movie marathons to prove it. But his last relationship went up in smoke when his girlfriend broke it off saying she didn't love him as much as she thought. She wanted to take a break from dating or something but started dating this other guy right away. After a few months, they were engaged and the wedding has been on hold since the fiasco of 2020. They're still friends and they hang out in a group nearly once a month, but every time he goes home he looks distraught. Why is it that the sweetest of people are given the least amount of love when the earlier mentioned jerks are getting all the action? In our case, we both decided we didn't see each other that way, but unless men are a bit of an asshole women don't want them. I don't know about you, but I'd like a man to open a door for me out of courtesy without comments like "Nice horns". Looking at my friend day-to-day reminded me that not all men are bad, but perhaps the hetero women aren't the best either. Maybe they're just as big of jerks as men are at times. It makes me wonder if men get uncomfortable with any comments from women? If confidence equals consequence on both sides, then everyone loses. If that was the case, perhaps we're all a little sheepish making us no different from anybody else, and that's pretty crazy. Much Love Your Way Darlings!

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Just found out that every time I hang out with one of my coworkers I'm good friends with, my (supposively) “best” friend bitches and talks shit bout me behind my back to my twin and their boyfriend durin that time I'm gone. So bloody wonderful. 🙃

On top of fuckin that, my twin and their boyfriend are goin to move into a place together and told me that I have to find out what to do or go back to Texas with my “best” friend.

I don't want to go back to Texas. I can't continue to live with the person who'll fuckin talk shit bout me behind my back every time I hang out with my other friends and get fuckin jealous bout it and fuckin misgender me on purpose. Especially if we're to get a place with just us two. I can't fuckin do this anymore.

My friend doesn't know that I know she talks shit bout me behind my back or misgendered me on purpose. I really think this is goin to be the end of our friendship (of TEN fuckin years) if she doesn't get her fuckin shit together and stop this stupid petty shit and jealousy. I'm not goin to fuckin date her. I'm not her only fuckin friend. I have a life outside of hers with my own fuckin friends just like she does. I don't understand this shit. Fuckin pisses me off.