#one is from my series revolving horror slasher husbands

[thecryptidart1st]

*painstakingly goes through multiple files and extracts individual characters to make a new business card for Lightbox Expo*

[brokehorrorfan]

Unboxing HorrorPack - March 2021

HorrorPack is a subscription box featuring monthly shipments of four different horror movies on your choice of Blu-ray or DVD, including a limited edition title. As someone who collects horror movies and enjoys mystery boxes, it's right up my alley. I’ve detailed the films included in the March 2021 shipment below.

The only title I was familiar with in the package was Critters Attack, the fifth installment in the Critters franchise. Bobby Miller (The Cleanse) directs from a script by Scott Lobdell (Happy Death Day). Dee Wallace (E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial), who starred in the 1986 original, returns to the series as a bounty hunter - although her character has a different name for apparent legal reasons. Tashiana Washington, Ava Preston (Rusty Rivets), Jack Fulton, and Jaeden Noel (Killjoys) also star, with Steve Blum (Star Wars Rebels) voicing the crites.

Despite being made on a low budget as a Syfy original movie, the film boasts impressive practical creatures. The designs are faithful to the Chiodo Brothers' classic crites, and they have just as much personality. The film introduces a friendly crite, like Gizmo to Gremlins; a bit of an odd choice but it mostly works. The one-dimensional human story - revolving around a babysitter (Washington) watching three kids when the small yet vicious aliens invade - is regularly broken up by bursts of carnage, earning the series' first R rating.

Critters Attack was released on Blu-ray (with DVD and Digital) in 2019 via Warner Brothers. Special features include: Engineering Gore: Designing Critters featurette, Critters: An Out-of-this-World Experience featurette, The Critter Ball featurette, and scene-specific audio commentary with Miller and a crite. It also came with a slipcover.

As a collector, the greatest appeal of HorrorPack is the exclusive Blu-ray. These limited edition titles are often indie movies that otherwise may never be available in high definition, with past exclusives including The Barn, Dead Hooker in a Trunk, Night of Something Strange, 4/20 Massacre, The Black Dahlia Haunting, and President's Day.

This month's limited edition Blu-ray is After Dark. The 2013 effort is directed by Rico Johnson, who co-wrote the script with Carl Earhart. Korrina Rico, Scott DeFalco, Jesse James Youngblood, Mekia Cox (Once Upon a Time), David Thomas Jenkins, Marisa Saks, Lane Compton, and Jonathan Nsien star. The only special feature is the trailer.

I was hoping to enjoy this one, but it's a painfully generic slasher with a finale reflecting the then-popular so-called "torture porn" trend. It also features hateful language that no longer flies in 2021. It follows a group of shallow teenagers - entitled bros and catty girls - on a Spring Break trip to the sand dunes. While the film is hindered by its low budget, no amount of money could have saved it. It's so cliche ridden that it almost feels like a parody - except it's not (intentionally) funny.

Killer Movie premiered at the 2008 Tribeca Film Festival. Largely populated by TV talent, the cast features Paul Wesley (The Vampire Diaries), Kaley Cuoco (The Big Bang Theory), Gloria Votsis (White Collar), Jason London (Dazed and Confused), Al Santos (Jeepers Creepers 2), Adriana DeMeo (Without a Trace), Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl), Nestor Carbonell (Bates Motel), Torrey DeVitto (Pretty Little Liars), Robert Buckley (iZombie), and NSYNC's JC Chasez.

Reality TV director Jeff Fisher (The Challenge, The Simple Life) makes his feature debut as writer and director. Drawing on his background, the slasher follows a film crew in a small North Dakota town shooting a reality series about an underdog hockey team, but the focus shifts to true crime when a masked killer who films his murders strikes. The reality show-style talking head interstitials provide some levity but not enough to push it into horror-comedy territory, which could have improved the film. It has good production value, a strong cast, and a fun setup, but there are too many underdeveloped characters and subplots that merely pad the runtime.

Killer Movie was released on Blu-ray in 2009 by Phase 4 Films. Special features include a behind-the-scenes featurette and the theatrical trailer.

Child of Satan (also known as Neron) is a 2016 film co-directed by Mitesh Kumar Patel and Sam Son and written by Lekhraj Patel. Kacey Clarke (Resident Evil: Afterlife), Eric Roberts (The Dark Knight), Yves Bright, Caite Upton (The Amazing Race), James Martin Kelly, Raymond Forchion, Inger Tudor, and Kirk Bovill star.

Between the title and the artwork, it came as no surprise that this one is a riff on Rosemary's Baby. It doesn't bring anything new to the table, but it's so unintentionally campy that it's almost enjoyable... almost. After the premature birth of her son Neron (!), Allison (Clarke) begins to suspect there's something wrong with her baby, only to be dismissed by her husband (Bright) as the bodies of those close to her pile up. Roberts receives top billing despite limited screen time as a knowledgeable priest in an ill-fitting costume, though he earns his paycheck with his commitment to the balderdash he spews.

Child of Satan was released on Blu-ray in 2017 via Cinedigm and ITN Distribution. The lone special feature is a trailer.

From best to worst, I'd rank HorrorPack's March 2021 films as follows: Critters Attack, Killer Movie, Child of Satan, After Dark. While I wasn't a big fan of any of the selections this time around, the thrill of the unknown is what makes a mystery box so appealing. HorrorPack certainly delivers in that sense, along with the added allure of an exclusive/limited edition release. HorrorPack Blu-ray plans start at $24.99 for a single month and go as low as $22.74/month with an annual plan.

[aresaphrodites]

What are your must watch shows that you'd recommend to everyone? I need new stuff

These are MY favorite shows. We may not have the same taste, but if we do, then feel free to check these out. Hope there’s at least one thing on this list that you’ll enjoy. (All plot summaries are coming straight off of wikipedia because I’m too lazy to type them myself.) 

One Tree Hill above all. If you haven’t seen it yet then I really recommend it. Like I cannot say this enough, everyone needs to watch that show. Summary, (if you don’t know for some reason) : The show is set in the fictional town of Tree Hill in North Carolina and initially follows the lives of two half-brothers, Lucas Scott  and Nathan Scott, who compete for positions on their school’s basketball team, and the drama that ensues from the brothers’ romances.

Slasher (especially the first season with Katie McGrath) : Sarah Bennett’s parents were murdered by a killer known as “The Executioner” 30 years ago. Now, she returns to the quiet community of Waterbury, where the killings occurred, to start over with her husband Dylan, but upon arriving they discover that things haven’t changed much. Sarah quickly finds herself at the center of a series of murders that revolve around the seven deadly sins, which appear to be the work of “The Executioner.” But the original killer who went by that name, Tom Winston, is in prison so it can’t be him. That means somebody else is behind the mask this time around, and the perp’s true identity must be discovered to stop this latest string of murders. As long-buried secrets begin to surface, everybody around Sarah is a suspect – or a victim.

Damien: Classic horror film “The Omen” is re-imagined in a fresh, contemporary take on the life of Damien Thorn, the mysterious child from the 1976 motion picture. Although he’s now a romantic, complex protagonist, Thorn grew up seemingly unaware of the evil forces around him. The past catches up with Damien, forcing him to face his true identity – that of the Antichrist, the most feared man throughout the ages. 

Animal Kingdom: After a heroin overdose kills his mom, teenager Joshua “J” Cody moves to Southern California to live with his freewheeling relatives. The family’s matriarch is J’s estranged grandmother, Janine “Smurf” Cody, from whom he’s been shielded for years. J soon finds out the reason for the isolation – Smurf and “her boys” make their livings through carefully planned armed robberies and other criminal activities. Prominent perpetrators are Smurf’s relatively level-headed right-hand man Baz and her three sons: mentally disturbed ex-con Pope, hyperactive drug user Craig, and suspicious Deran. In order to stay alive, J must prove loyal to his beguiling grandmother, who rules with a borderline-incestuous love.

Penny Dreadful: Many people are familiar with classic literary characters like Dr. Frankenstein and Dorian Gray. “Penny Dreadful” brings those and other characters into a new light by exploring their origin stories in this psychological thriller that takes place in the dark corners of Victorian London. Sir Malcolm is an explorer who has lost his daughter to the city’s creatures, and he will do whatever is needed to get her back and to right past wrongs. His accomplice, seductive clairvoyant Vanessa Ives, recruits charming American Ethan Chandler to help locate Sir Malcolm’s daughter and slay some monsters.

Hemlock Grove: This Netflix original series revolves around the peculiar residents – and killer creatures – of Hemlock Grove, a dilapidated former steel town in Pennsylvania. The town is composed of people living in poverty and those who are extremely wealthy – and everyone has a secret. As sinister mysteries unfold, a seamier side of the town is exposed, placing suspicion on many and revealing that nothing is what it seems.

Dynasty: A modernized reboot of the 1980s primetime soap follows two of America’s wealthiest families, the Carringtons and the Colbys, as they feud for control over their fortune and their children. Told primarily through the perspectives of two women at odds – Fallon Carrington, daughter of billionaire Blake Carrington; and her soon-to-be stepmother, Cristal, a Hispanic woman marrying into the WASP family – “Dynasty” not only features the glitz and gloss of extreme wealth, but also exposes the dark underbelly of a corrupt world built on backroom deals.

Marvel’s Runaways: After discovering their parents are super-villains in disguise, a group of teenagers band together to run away from their homes in order to atone for their parents’ actions and to discover the secrets of their origins.

Game of Thrones: Come on, everyone knows this one. If you haven’t seen it, watch it already. What are you waiting for? In the mythical continent of Westeros, several powerful families fight for control of the Seven Kingdoms. As conflict erupts in the kingdoms of men, an ancient enemy rises once again to threaten them all. Meanwhile, the last heirs of a recently usurped dynasty plot to take back their homeland from across the Narrow Sea.

Shadowhunters: On her birthday, Clary Fray discovers a surprise concerning her life. The teenager is not who she thinks she is – she comes from a long line of human-angel hybrids, called Shadowhunters, who hunt demons. After her mother is kidnapped, Clary is thrust into the world of demon-hunting. Clary relies on mysterious Jace and fellow hunters Isabelle and Alec to help her navigate the dark world. While living in this new world among creatures like vampires and werewolves, Clary’s best friend Simon helps her uncover answers that could help her find her mother. 

[brokehorrorfan]

Best New Horror Movies on Netflix: Summer 2017

I know there's an overwhelming amount of horror movies to sift through on Netflix, so I've decided to take out some of the legwork by compiling a list of the season's best new genre titles on Netflix's instant streaming service.

Please feel free to leave a comment with any I may have missed and share your thoughts on any of the films you watch. You can also peruse past installments of Best New Horror Moves on Netflix for more suggestions.

1. Clown

Before Spider-Man: Homecoming swings into theaters, watch director Jon Watts' feature debut. Beginning as a faux-trailer that went viral, Clown was essentially willed into existence with the aid of genre favorite Eli Roth (Hostel, Cabin Fever) as a producer. Andy Powers (Oz) stars as a dad who comes across an old clown costume to wear to his son's birthday party, only to find that he physically cannot remove it. He then develops an insatiable hunger for children, soon learning that he must sacrifice five kids in order to remove the suit. Laura Allen (The 4400) plays his wife, while Peter Stormare (Fargo) provides the ancient, demonic history of clowns. Not your typical killer clown movie, Clown combines classic monster movie motifs, body horror elements, supernatural undertones, and gallows humor into one coulrophobic package. Read my full review of the film here.

2. Beyond the Gates

Beyond the Gates was clearly made by horror fans for fellow fans. The 80-minute romp can best be described as Jumanji meets The Beyond. Estranged brothers Gordon (Graham Skipper, Almost Human) and John (Chase Williamson, John Dies at the End), along with Gordon’s girlfriend, Margot (Brea Grant, Halloween II), find and play an old VCR game. They must obey the tape’s host (Barbara Crampton, Re-Animator) in order to solve the mystery of their father's disappearance. It's slightly hindered by a limited budget - the set-up is slow and the ending is a tad anticlimactic - but it's so spirited along the way that the faults barely register. First-time director Jackson Stewart taps into the VHS nostalgia to create a film that would feel perfectly at home on a mom-and-pop video store shelf in the late '80s. Read my full review of the film here.

3. The Eyes of My Mother

The Eyes of My Mother is too pensive for horror fans look for typical blood and scares, but those who appreciate arthouse fare are likely to get wrapped up in its unsettling tone. Writer/director Nicolas Pesce makes an impact with his debut, utilizing stark black-and-white photography to explore a character study illustrating the repercussions of murder. The story is told in three chapters, which each one showing a significant familial moment in a woman's life that shapes her into the disturbed individual she ultimately becomes. It’s a slow burn, even at a mere 76 minutess, but every moment is spent ruminating in its dark tone.

4. Backcountry

Backcountry is based on a true story of a black bear attack. The predator doesn't show up until two thirds of the way through the film; the rest of the time is spent developing the relationship between Alex (Jeff Roop) and Jenn (Missy Peregrym, Reaper), who embark on what's supposed to be a romantic and relaxing weekend hike through the woods. Tensions first rise upon the introduction of an Irish backpacker (Eric Balfour, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), then again when the couple gets lost in the dizzying forest. It finally takes the form of a suspenseful survival thriller when the ferocious bear begins attacking their campsite. The investment in character development is worthwhile, as it causes the viewer to care about them, thereby making the final act even more harrowing. Real bears were used during production, adding to the ripe intensity.

5. Dig Two Graves

The first act of Dig Two Graves could be mistaken for a coming-of-age drama - not only thematically but also stylistically - as a young girl (Samantha Isler, Captain Fantastic) from a podunk town attempts to reconcile with her brother's death. Things really heat up when a trio of creepy men tell her they can bring him back to life... but someone else has to take his place. The story is structured in an interesting way, sprinkling in flashbacks that contextualize the actions taking place in the present. Isler delivers a brilliant performance, as does Ted Levine (The Silence of the Lambs), who plays her grandfather, the town's sheriff.

6. XX

XX is a horror anthology made up of four segments written and directed by females, each one strong and unique. “The Box” by Jovanka Vuckovic adapts a Jack Ketchum short story about a boy who's forever changed upon seeing the contents of a mysterious box. “The Birthday Party” by Annie Clark (better known as musician St. Vincent) is a darkly comic tale about a woman who finds her husband dead on the day of her daughter's birthday party. “Don’t Fall” by Roxanne Benjamin (Southbound) turns a serene hike into a blood-thirsty creature feature. “Her Only Living Son” by Karyn Kusama (The Invitation) finds a mother learning a deep, dark secret about her son. There's not much of a through line outside of them all being female-led (3/4 of which are maternal roles), though neat stop-motion animation wraps around the tales. Several familiar faces populate the cast, including Melanie Lynskey (Heavenly Creatures), Natalie Brown (The Strain), and Mike Doyle (Law & Order: Special Victims Unit). It's no secret that we need more female voices in film, and XX is a potent declaration that's impossible to ignore.

7. Stake Land II: The Stakelander

Despite a terrible title that could be mistaken for a joke, Stake Land II: The Stakelander is a sequel to Stake Land, Jim Mickle's impressive 2010 vampire film (which you should watch first; it's also on Netflix). Mickle resigns to executive producer, but his co-writer, Nick Damici, returns to pen the script. Damici also reprises his role as Mister, reuniting with Connor Paolo as Martin. The vampire slaying duo embark on a journey across a Mad Max 2-style post-apocalyptic wasteland infested with ferocious vampires, which resemble zombies more than your traditional bloodsuckers. As is often the case, it's the other humans that prove to be the real threat. Like its predecessor, the film finds a rare balance between drama and intensity. It's not as effective as the original, but fans won't be disappointed by the follow-up.

8. Tag

Tag (also known as Riaru onigokko) is not for everyone, but it's too gleefully weird not to warrant a recommendation. Written and directed by Sion Sono (Suicide Club), the Japanese film opens with a bus full of school girls getting sliced in half in one fell swoop. It only gets stranger from there as the infinite possibilities of multiple universes are explored. One girl survives each time, continually awakening in different realities after watching all her friends get killed in gory fashions - including a teacher mowing down her class with a mini-gun. I thought it might be adapted from a manga, as it has that bizarre, fantastical feel to it, but it's instead based on a novel. It's dreamlike and absurd but not without heart.

9. The Windmill

The Windmill (formerly known as The Windmill Massacre) is a slasher film from the Netherlands, although it's (mostly) in English. It follows a guided bus tour of Holland that breaks down near a mysterious windmill. One by one, the passengers are picked off by a cool-looking killer armed with a scythe. With glossy production value and a dark tone, it feels more like a throwback to late '90s slashers rather than the golden age of the '80s - but there's still some solid gore and practical effects. It doesn't reinvent the wheel, but the film offers a slightly more involved plot than the average slasher, including flawed characters and supernatural elements. It's also gleefully mean-spirited to the very end.

10. Man Vs.

As you may have guessed from the name, Man Vs. uses a survival reality show as the framing device for a creature feature. Doug (Chris Diamantopoulos, Silicon Valley) is the survival expert/host, filming himself in the Canadian wilderness - only to learn that he's not alone. It would have been cheaper to make a found footage film, but it's more effect as a traditional movie - though there are some shots from Doug's gear. The set-up is a bit slow, however you may learn some survival tips along the way. The story essentially becomes Survivorman vs. Predator in the final act. Unfortunately, the CGI creature is Syfy-level bad, preventing the big reveal from having much impact, but Diamantopoulos delivers a solid performance nonetheless.

11. Abattoir

Abattoir is directed by Darren Lynn Bousman (Saw II-IV, Repo! The Genetic Opera), based on the same named graphic novel he created. It follows a real estate journalist (Jessica Lowndes, 90210) and a detective (Joe Anderson, The Crazies) as they investigate a series of houses in which tragedies occurred having the offending rooms torn out. They end up in a Twin Peaks-esque town where a local (Lin Shaye, Insidious) tells them of Jebediah Crone (Dayton Callie, Sons of Anarchy), an enigmatic reverend attempting to build a gateway to pure evil. Although set in the present, the picture is an unabashed love letter to film noirs of the 1940s and ‘50s. While the execution of the fascinating concept is lacking, Bousman manages to create a wonderfully imaginative neo-noir universe rife with spooky atmosphere. Read my full review here.

Bonus: The Keepers

If you were among the throngs of viewers morbidly captivated by Making a Murderer, The Keepers will be your new true crime fix. The Netflix original documentary series is every bit as compelling and frustrating as Making a Murderer, but the heinous crimes are even more stomach churning. The story revolves around an unsolved murder case of 26-year-old nun in 1969 and her then-students who have teamed up decades later to try to get to the truth. There appears to be a cover up that involves sexual abuse at the hands of a priest. The show consists of seven hour-long episodes. It probably could have been shaved down to five, but it's structured in such a way that make you want to keep binge watching.

Bonus: Riverdale: Season 1

Riverdale is like Twin Peaks meets Pretty Little Liars by way of Archie Comics. It reinvents the classic Archie characters for a modern audience with an interesting murder/mystery plot. I'm admittedly beyond the key demographic for the trashy teen drama that ensues, but the first season is fun enough, albeit inconsistent, to hook me. Several of the younger actors deliver great performances, given the heavy-handed material, but it's even more fun to see the parents played by '90s stars like Luke Perry (Beverly Hills, 90210), Mädchen Amick (Twin Peaks), Robin Givens (Head of the Class), and Skeet Ulrich (Scream). If you enjoy MTV's Scream, you'll likely get a kick out of this one as well.