#one for ashes i'm certain i had a plot for that has long since been forgotten

[camellia-thea]

finally clearing my works off google docs and onto my ancient version of word and i keep going "oh wow i forgot i wrote that"

[optiwashere]

WIP Wednesday

Holy shit, it's actually on a Wednesday this time?

I really wanted to do one of these this week since I've gone a bit rabid on a few WIPs.

I'll post a little bit about each of those WIPs later, some snippets and a blurb about why I'm so excited. But first! Folks to tag! Since I'm so excited for these, I'm gonna tag a lot this time.

If you have anything you want to share WIP writing-wise, please do... @quitefair @bottombatch @siyurikspakvariisis @causticcontemplation @jasminethetransvampire @underworldobsessed @assarivanguard @amorficzna @funwithnix @askweisswolf @linka-from-captain-planet @tief4tief

If you don't want to do this, or have nothing you want to share, feel free to ignore. If anyone else wants to do this, please feel free to consider yourself tagged. Now, onto my obsessions.

WIP 1: New chapter of Nightsongs

After spending some chapters in a kind of angst zone after the relatively light (relatively) first 4-5 chapters, this next chapter is going to be a kind of upswing. There's lots left to do with the AU, so I'm expecting to chug along and write more and more as time permits.

This AU is a lot for me to handle, especially after having so many chapters ready to post and then... falling way behind on writing the chapters afterwards. But it's fanfiction, and we're having fun here. So, who cares? The game's fandom heyday is already over, so at this point I'm just writing whatever feels best to me.

This chapter is mostly done, I think. I'm giving it a few days/a week to sit before I go back to edit it with fresher eyes. Also, we return to Ash's POV!

Lae’zel walked into Ash’s back office without a word on the seventh day and Ash nodded her way without looking up. Papers sat in strewn piles all over the desk, a handful of old incident reports and assessments that still needed working for Wulbren’s accountants. The absolute worst part of the job remained for the year – paperwork – and Ash intended to get them caught up in the hours that remained of her day. It was a useful, meaningful task. It gave her something else to think about. Anything other than green eyes. “We should talk,” Lae’zel said, sitting down without being offered one of the folding chairs in front of the desk. “Aren’t we doing that?” Ash scanned the paper in front of her and quickly jotted down her signature. [...] “You begin working on a van,” Lae’zel said matter-of-factly, counting off on her fingers as she spoke. “You talk to a pretty girl. You suddenly work more often on that van. Then, you disappear inside yourself and act bitter all day because suddenly the girl no longer shows up. There is more to it than you say.” “I think this might be the first time you’ve spoken more than five words to me, you know that?” Ash chuckled. “Am I that obvious?”

WIP 2: New chapter of Blades in the Night

The need to write more plot for this has been burrowing in my skull for a long time. I initially stopped myself from writing too much of it because I wanted to do Nightsongs first in its entirety before getting to this, but I think I'm just too impatient for that.

I also love the fact that this fic turned from a simple PWP one-shot into this much more expansive, plotty story that's now pretty important for what I want to do with my babies post-canon. Something about that makes me smile.

Plus, you know how I've been lamenting my inability to write happy endings for certain characters?

Either way, this isn't really complete, but the hardest part is complete and now I just have to start connecting the dots and filling in the blanks. I'd say it's about a third done?

The room filled with the same aura of a distant gaze leveled their way that Shadowheart had felt back in the cloister. Asheera had made an oath to protect Shadowheart then, and the flooding of a dense, real presence had nearly swallowed her whole in the cloister's barracks. A weight of importance sunk down on her shoulders there in Hobb's Hovel as well. A smell like molten metal cooling lilted in the air with a lingering, acrid tang. It tasted of blood in Shadowheart's mouth, as if the forging was tainted with some other foul presence in the mixture. [...] Little could have compared better to that feeling of a weight lifted from her shoulders. Worry disappeared and gave way to earnest joy in Shadowheart, and she thrived on it. She hadn't felt such keen happiness since she'd been so readily accepted into Asheera's family by her parents.

WIP 3: Gauntlet of Shar fic

Wow, I know! I've been talking about writing this fic for so long that it's almost become a sort of mythical never-to-be-slain beast for me. I'm not normally someone that talks about my ideas too often, I just write them before they can flee me.

I tend to also get in my own head about what I "should" be writing in the first place. Frankly, I'm getting kinda tired of writing so many ships, though fear not - I'll still have ideas that can only work with ships that aren't Shadowheart/Asheera. It's just that, for a while, I want to focus back on my loves.

This fic is one of those that I've wanted to finish for months. I know that at this point in the fandom's life cycle, I'm pretty much writing just for the dedicated, lovely folks that still read my stuff and I'm extremely happy to have y'all around! Maybe this will make Light Casts a Shadow ring a little more true for some, maybe it will be just another fic that I post, who knows.

Also, one thing I'm planning on experimenting with for this fic is alternate endings for Fun. This is a fic where the ending hinges on choices that Shadowheart makes in the game, so it's only fitting that I explore what would happen if she made those other choices.

But anywho, enough blabbing. Excerpt time!

Those touches and more, Asheera cherished. She watched in silence as Shadowheart turned her devotions to each of those tasks. Perhaps it was the nature of clerics to give themselves entirely to seemingly mundane tasks much the same Asheera felt compelled to consider her oaths in nearly every conversation, battle, or even moments like Shadowheart carefully buckling a cuisse to her leg with straps of leather at the backs of Asheera's knees. Fingertips trailed against her clothed skin, and Shadowheart stood up once more. "There," she said, "all's taken care of, then. Tell me, how's my handiwork? Be honest. I can handle the criticism." Asheera brought her balled fist to her chest in an arm curl. She flexed the elbow out and tested her shoulders, knees, ankles, and hips for motion. None of the plates caught on one another, and none of the straps across her hands, arms, knees, or chest restricted her. "Perfect," Asheera said at last. "Marvelous work." Shadowheart offered a quick smile. "I'll take a Gondian's compliment on such things any day." "Can't say I would've done a better job." "Ah, there's the honesty I was waiting for. Truly, where would you be without me?"

[outeremissary]

Oooh how about telling us a little about The Thousand Mile Fall? 👀

Thank you Ash and @bearvanhelsing for asking!

I want to begin by apologizing- I suspect you were looking for Tristian, but this is the single BG3 thing that was on the list. Jay, idk where you stand on discourse game of the year, but Ash, I know that you're not a fan and have been working on distance. I'm placing the rest under a cut. You can read it or not read it. Either thing is fine with me.

As compensation: the one actual Kingmaker ask I got on this (sorry it's not a flashy one), or a PF2e one about Kasander/Asperia.

Still with me? Thank you, I appreciate it!! Let's see to what degree I'm willing to bare my soul before I get too embarrassed and awkwardly trail off.

Ah: DUrge spoiler warning. And content warning: DUrgetash (sorry)

So! The Thousand Mile Fall, something which was only just starting to go beyond planning (and originally planning for a comic) when my laptop committed die. I was really interested in the concept of the Dark Urge as a character who was always framed as having fallen from grace, and who had also fallen from a state of divinity. The liminal state excited me, and we all know how I feel about a horrible someone who's a horrible failure of an angel. Horrible failure of a demigod occupies a similar space. I think the nature of that failure- that fall- began to occupy me quite a bit, since I had a strong concept for Asperia from very, very early on in my playthrough (long before I knew anything besides the DUrge plot besides that they were a Bhaalspawn, even before I had become convinced Kasander and Asperia existed simultaneously) and at the heart of Asperia was someone who was infallible and convinced of their invincibility- maybe rightly so.

So, this story is set only a bit before the game and is meant to unpick the loss of that perfect favor- in my mind, the loss of Asperia's "godhood," something which is stolen twice. The second and definitive loss is of course to Orin in a singular act of violence, but Orin's path to victory was opened by the slow and insidious poison of having known Enver Gortash. In a "the bar is in hell" turn of things, their... acquaintanceship is the closest thing Asperia has ever experienced to a normal relationship and a normal life. And that glimpse of the other side is what unmakes her. It's always been crucial to Asperia's role in the system to be the one who loves being Bhaal's beloved child, who can reconcile anything with belonging, who buys in so fully that it is unthinkable to be less than a god and it is unthinkable to have desires besides those of a god. Others hold the questions, the fear, the other desires- Kasander and Bride especially- but Asperia wants nothing else in life, and Asperia believes with painful, self-destructive fervor.

Asperia has already been acquainted with Gortash for some good while here, the wheels turning in the scheme of the Absolute. This is the longest positive relationship of any kind Asperia has ever had outside of whatever pseudo-parental thing he has with Scleritas, and it has been wonderful: novel, collaborative, a meeting with someone who resembles an equal despite being a mere mortal. Asperia has begun to see other facets of the world through this, to see the ways the world of the living comes together for purposes besides inevitable execution. It's all an act of devotion, all furthering the will of Bhaal, all what Asperia desires and wants to do. But the further it's gone the more it's started to be fun for its own sake too, and a certain fascination with a frenemy has begun to blossom into dangerous fantasies.

Asperia doesn't fantasize. Asperia can't fantasize. Asperia is a god, and he only wants things which are real and deserved. Bhaal's favor is proof of that: Orin's ugly, messy desires make her a worse worshiper, and she's never had their divine father's love. Asperia is Bhaal's beloved. Asperia is defined by her distance from those mistakes. And so too is Asperia the perfect disciple, a being beyond sin. If something is what Asperia wants, then it must be acceptable.

And this is how Asperia begins to lose Bhaal's favor.

Asperia starts the story at a personal high and only rising- with the world at her fingertips and Bhaal's love behind her, she's preparing for the victory lap and has taken an extra prize in becoming more intimately involved with Gortash. But you can't have your cake and eat it too- this impossible personal high the seed of Asperia's ruin, already sown, takes root and begins to grow. Bhaal's perfect killing machine doesn't play house with Bane's Chosen. And there are more than enough people who fucking hate Asperia already and are ready to take note- as well as Gortash himself, so much older and colder than young, sheltered Asperia. There may be some genuine affection there in some form, but calculation and power take precedent, as does the enjoyment of solving this Bhaalspawn puzzle by picking her apart.

Over time the increasingly clear dissonance between the impossible misalignment- the first Asperia has ever experienced- between what they want and what Bhaal allows them to desire and have drives them to spiral into a state of exceptional vulnerability that ultimately allows Orin to usurp them. The escalating stress causes them to lose time more and more frequently, beyond what they can explain away to themself and make disappear, and they begin to doubt themself. To fear what is happening, and to develop their own doubts about Bhaal- things that should live elsewhere, things that cause other parts to bubble up in ways they notice. Asperia is straying and rivals like Orin can see it, is becoming less dependable and reluctant allies like Ketheric can see it, is becoming a less than perfect disciple and that butler shepherd of Bhaal can see it (not that every part was always perfect- Scleritas has always known that "Asperia" is more than just Asperia, and has long pitted Asperia against themself). And Asperia is vulnerable and open and easier and easier to see- and Gortash, who has solved the part of this puzzle Asperia refuses to see quite well, sees it all and drives the spiral deeper. Pulls Asperia closer, and begins to learn the others without letting Asperia know (this is a piece of how Kasander knows Gortash, has known Gortash before anything).

So y'know. It's all heading for inevitable tragedy, heartbreak, ruin, bad feelings, and a tadpole in the head, as well as a shitty asshole boyfriend conspiring with one's sister who has been waiting for ages for the change to REALLY wreck one's shit. Yikes! Feel like not enough was spent on the family drama and that's sold Orin short, but she's played a damn active hand through it all. Sacrificial Orin, always underestimated, always overlooked, always surviving.

I dunno how to conclude this and I feel like I probably talked too long (half just to remember things I can't access until the new laptop arrives and is set up). All in all, just a fun little project to play with while I continue to fail to finish the last teeny bit of the actual goddamn game (I'm the worst at wrapping up the last little dregs of things after I've cleaned up the most fun stuff).

TLDR: Asperia, main character of life, starts to Lose the Plot and gets written out of the story for a little while

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hm... You know, you often compare yandere Wheezy to Mother Gothel. What if the situation between him and Y/N was something similarly to Mother Gothel and Rapunzel too?

Like maybe you two have known each other your whole lives. Or at least it feels like it (depending on when you guys met. Like high school or childhood or something). So it just felt natural to you when eventually you guys moved in together. It felt like a normal relationship had blossomed between you two. Granted, it was pretty lonely since everyone you get to know seems to leave one way or another... But you got your Wheezy. And he's got you. People say that as long as you have each other, it should be enough.

(And perhaps your Flynn Rider- perhaps a certain green weasel 👀- comes along when Wheezy isn't around for some reason. You get to hang out with somebody that isn't your boyfriend. And you realize how much of this you missed... And a lot more about your relationship.)

!! I cant believe this has taken me so long to respond to 😅😅 Especially since I am minorly obsessed with Gothel-YanWheezy semblance! XD I think I probably saw it during Placement but cuz of everything that was going on I just kindof... flew over it. I'm sorry, here have waffle 🧇

I- love- this! Wheezy keeping you for himself?? Wheezy manipulating his childhood friend into being his girlfriend- live-in fiancé- then wife?!! And Greasy being Y/N's secret flirty friend!???? So terrible and wholesome !

I know this isn't what you were talking about, but I couldn't help myself. Here's basically that scene at the end of Tangled when Rapunzel/Y/N tells Gothel/Wheezy that she'll stay, and be good, and never ever try to escape... so long as she's allowed to save Flynn/Greasy.

~

Yandere!Wheezy Weasel x Reader x Greasy Weasel || Drabble

*this Wheezy kinda gives off the same vibes as Otis in this specific gif, so... 😅

Plot: ->

"No! I wont stop. For every minute of the rest of my life, I will fight! I will never stop trying to get away from you! ... But if you let me save him,.. I will go with you. I'll never run, I'll never try to escape. Just let me heal him, and you and I will be together. Forever, just like you want."

Warnings: Greasy has gunshot wounds in his abdomen, gets his fingers crushed, and gets ash in his eyes. Wheezy puts you down and is, yaknow, a monster- Also it's unedited right now.

"Y/N, c'mon." The tone in Wheezy's voice is calm as ever, relaxed, even bored; But the way his teeth are grit despite not having a smoke in his mouth right now and how his knuckles are white gripping the rope wrapped tightly around his strong fist gives him clean away. His eyes flash behind a wall of smoke, down at you- and Greasy. On the ground. "Time to finish up, here. Timeta go. He's not goin' anywhere."

Tears are overflowing in your eyes, on the ground by Greasy- He's still sitting up but he's bleeding out fast, the bullet holes in his stomach turning his green suit a deep red. Almost black. He clutches the wound and glares up at Wheezy, but his eyes soften when they turn down to you again; Noticing you crying over him. "Mi amore... wipe yo- " As soon as Greasy attempts to reach over and comfort you, Wheezy steps lazily on his hand creeping along the ground. Not only does he step down but he slowly crushes the bones before your wide, horrified eyes. Its a small sign of uncharacteristic spitefulness, viciousness that is so unlike him, a side of him you swear you swear you swear you didn't know about. You swear. You want Greasy to know that! You desperately try to tell him that, with your eyes, because Wheezy would surely hurt him worse if you said them outload. "... its okay." He continues, voice cracking through the unimaginable pain. He's somehow still as off-puttingly charming as ever and it makes you wish you weren't so hopelessly blind about Wheezy even harder. God!-

If you had been aware, caught the red flags, noticed everything that Wheezy must have been doing all this time- even just one thing- then you never would have brought Greasy into this, never would have befriended him, never would've ever responded to his dumb cheap flattery. You would have pushed right by him that day you met and he would've felt the sting of rejection but that would have been it. Neither of you would have fallen in as ill-fated love as you have, he wouldn't be bleeding now, he wouldn't die- "Y/N, get up."

... Sniffling, you shake your head. "No, I- Ah!" As soon as you shook your head, Wheezy had rolled his eyes up and yanked at the rope- which is tied to your wrists behind your back.

"Gettin' on my nerves, doll... move your ass."

"No, Wheezy, he'll- " Finally turning and looking at your- at Wheezy, you flash a defiant glare. Theirs a desperate tone in your voice and you wonder why you still think he'll listen. He's not your Wheezy anymore. He's someone else entirely. Why are you still begging him?? "He'll die!" Because you dont have a choice. Greasy will die here.

"Yeah... kinda the point." After heaving a smoky sigh, and not even seeming to notice Greasy's glower up at him (Or not caring), Wheezy flicks the flat of his cap up his forehead and picks a loose smoke out from behind his ear; sticking it between his teeth and searching for his lighter in his pockets. "Sweetheart I think maybe you're not gettin' this." Finding the lighter, Wheezy carefully lights his cigarette; the end glowing, now. "That's alright, I guess," He thinks outloud, giving a tiny and half asses shrug as he folds the smoke and his hand back into his pant pocket. "'ts better if yer dumb."

"I- I'm no- "

"Yeah, y'kinda are." He huffs out a sigh, and dirty, stinky smoke flies out the corners of his mouth. You know he's referring to all those years he played you, and it shuts you up. Maye he's right...

God-

"No. No no no, Y/N, you are no- you are not dumb. Listen to me- ah," Struggling and grimacing, Greasy drags himself with his good hand a few inches closer to you. Then he uses that hand to squeeze his bullet wounds - which, now that you're looking at him again through the tears, have really done a number on him. The bags under his eyes are disgustingly deep... its makes your guts ache. He's going to die here and its all your fault, - and his useless, broken hand to reach for you once again. He never learns!- "You're very intelligent. Don't listen to him, listen to me. Its going to be o- " You're just wondering, wide eyed, how he can still be comforting you right now when Wheezy kicks his hand away, causing Greasy to growl and squeeze his eyes shut, forcing the pain away.

"... Damn. Grease, you really are fucken something. How many times have I toldya over the years just ta keep your hands ta yerself?? If you'd listened to me, we wouldn't be here."

Breathing through the pain, making his voice steady somehow, Greasy cracks his eyes open; Glancing upwards to Wheezy with a disgusting feral look in his eyes. "Mark my words, fumador... I am going to ruin you, for this."

Looking immeasurably bored, shoulders dropped and eyes half-hooded as he takes his smoke out between two of his fingers and blows out a cloud of grey, Wheezy shakes his head. "Ehhh, somehow I doubt it... "

Wheezy looks thoughtful for a moment at his cig, before shrugging like why not? and - without looking at either of you, - taps some hot, dusty ash directly into Greasy's eyes off the end before flicking the rest away to the ground. Greasy hisses and lets go of his abdomen in order to wipe the bloody heels of his hands into eyes to get the burning hot ash out of his eyes as hurriedly get a tissue from your pocket and go to help him, but-

"Uh uh uh," Wheezy wraps the rope a few more times around his hand and his wrist and forces you up onto your feet, digging his fingers into the back of waist band and holding you still. "Come on, lets go."

"No!" The rope around your waist digs through your shirt into your skin and the rope winding up your forearms rub but you fight- try not to move- not to leave- but now that you're on your legs its harder to stay still. Wheezy's tall, and his limbs are long and sinewy and like rock, and so far he hasn't even tried to use that against you.

"Fightin' it's just gonna make it worse, (Nickname). And whether ya believe it or not, I do not get my kicks outta this." Just behind you, you feel him shrug again; against your back. "Jus' not my idea of a Saturday night, I guess. I will hurt ya if y'make me, though."

"Let me- "

"Are you gonna ask me to let ya go??" He sounds genuinely disappointed, groaning, like he's watching a soap and his favourite character did something ill-advised that he disapproves of. He's acting like he's on a job Smartass forced him into! Like he's only half here- have on the back porch smoking a couple packs. Like ruining your life and killing his best friend is just shit that he's 'gotta do'. "C'mon, doll, you're better then tha- "

"Let me save him."

This gives Wheezy pause. You're not facing him so you turn, wanting to see how he's taking that and why he's so silent, catching him looking cold and vicious again. Those blue eyes have never looked icier, and his jaw is set tight, and he has never seemed taller. Right now he's like 30 story skyscraper. You feel so small... until- "Nope."

He tries again to walk off with you but you glance at Greasy, head bowed against the ground and the puddle of his own blood around him, just trying to focus on breathing slowly, and your heart sinks. You know you can't leave him like that. You absolutely can't. You love hi-

Mm. Setting a determined look on your face, you grab Wheezy- yanking back to you by his vest and holding on tight. You need him to look at you, you need him to pay attention. You need him to listen to you.

Once last time. One last time, Wheezy... please, please...

Once, at some point, he must have really loved you in that soft way that you're supposed to love people- where you want them to be happy and want you back- and he has to have a little bit of that left. You have to believe that he does, at least. Because that is the part you need to hear you, right now.

"If you don't let me save him I will be trying to get away from you for the rest of our lives. You will never catch a break. You will never rest. Because the moment you do, I will be out the window trying to get back... to him... " Tightening your grip even more on his vest as Wheezy looks unimpressed, you go on; vanquished and gone of all your fight, all but a little bit. Enough to save Greasy. "... But if you do let me... "

"Nn... Y/N, no- "

When you don't go on, scared of what you're about to say and horrified at Greasy's state, Wheezy narrows his eyes at you to spur you to go on again. Taking a deep breath, you look away from Greasy and give Wheezy a quiet, sincere nod; brushing your foreheads together you're so close. "-If you let me heal him, then we can go together, and I will not try to escape. I will never, ever, leave you... We can fall in love again. I can do that! I will do it." You nod again, assuring you and him. Tears gather in your eyes but they just prove you're telling the truth, so you let them go. "You can have everything you want, we can go wherever you want, I'll be whoever you me to be...

Just let me heal him."

You search his eyes for a full minute, waiting for him to respond. Your tears fall down your cheeks and he watches them go and drip down off your chin onto the collar of your shirt, thinking... until his gaze nudges upwards to your eyes again; chewing something in the back of his mouth. "Fall back in love with me, huh? Y'can do that?"

Sniffling, you carefully nod. "Yes." Or something like love. Something disgusting, but similar. He wont be able to tell the difference.

Wheezy's icy, slate-grey eyes scrutinise you up so close, and you hold your breath- and you hold him, because he's holding all the cards and that's all you can do.

[dante-winning-archive]

I feel like the only I'd be Even Remotely okay with Sparda coming back is like if some evil alchemist or something brought him back through necromancy, possibly as part of some Take Over the World (or Hell) scheme. Like, he died before Eva and the twins were attacked by Mundus' forces, and then after DMC5, some necromancer fucker built him a new demon body and shoved whatever was left of his soul (probably harvested from the Underworld) into it to try and use him as a meat puppet, but that uh. Did Not Go Well for them, and Sparda broke free.

Sparda doesn't just waltz back into his sons' lives, either: he knows he's got a lot of apologizing and making up to do, even if he didn't leave them on purpose. He'd be devastated to find out what happened to Eva and to his sons after his death, but also so happy that they're both alive. Apologizing wouldn't be enough to make up for everything that happened, and neither would letting them punch him in the face, but he'd try it anyway.

Having a grandson would be a pleasant surprise, at least until Sparda found out the poor boy had been raised in a cult that worshipped Sparda as a god, in which case Sparda was just like, "Ah. Another descendant that I'm obligated to let hit me. Alright, Nero, go ahead. Don't hold back. I'm so sorry."

As for how Sparda died originally:

I've got a personal theory that he died for the same reason we see V's body breaking down after Vergil uses the Yamato to split himself in 5- when Sparda separated the Human and Demon Realms, he also split his soul. It just took longer for his body to "degrade"/break down because he's all demon, whereas Vergil is half human. Sparda further splitting his soul into the Sparda, Rebellion, Yamato, and the Perfect Amulet, and then the amulet halves, also didn't help things.

As for why he didn't just re-absorb them and live for another idk, 2000 years:

My best guess is that it wouldn't of been enough to save him because his body was just too far gone by that point, like how you can only stretch something so many times before the elastic just wears out too much and the whole thing just snaps and falls apart. And, if we go with this theory, maybe he thought leaving his sons the swords/powers that he did was more important, since if he was going to die anyway, the least he could do would be to TRY and take care of his sons. I think he just wandered off to die, too, somewhere where any "vultures" that were drawn to his corpse (or whatever was left of him) wouldn't be anywhere near Eva and his sons. This means Eva and his sons might not of had any remains to bury/ashes to scatter, but he did TRY to keep them safe for as long as he could.

As for why a necromancer alchemist brought him back NOW, instead of earlier in the timeline:

-Doyalist explanation is because otherwise the plot would be different and I don't wanna think about that rn, but anyway.

-Arius and Agnus were able to create fully artificial demons*, and before them, the only other person (as far as we know) that could do that was Mundus himself. Which is horrifying, since it means that alchemy (or at least alchemy focused on creating and controlling demons and demonic energy) has officially reached the level where normal human beings can play God with the souls and lives of men and demons. Hence the whole Sparda/necromancy clusterfuck.

[*= Human shaped demons in Aruis' case, and ones that had a certain amount of free will and sentience, like Lucia and the Secretary demons, although Lucia was considered "defective", presumably because she had too much humanity/free will. Agnus had a specialty in constructs powered by demonic energy and piloted by a person or persons' soul(s), and turning humans into demons via his Ascension Ceremony.]

Anyway, mainly, I'm just fine with Sparda being dead, tho I would like more info on his. Some archive of his past or something, y'know? Some flashbacks from the twins, or Matier. More info on Eva would be nice too, tbh, given we know even less about her than Sparda.

Sorry I took so long to get to this!

This scenario kind of falls into "came back wrong", which I'd be okay with. Maybe the necromancer was successful, until they pit Sparda against his own sons. Somehow Sparda is fine and it's one hell of an awkward reunion.

I like your theory about how Sparda died, how he was essentially weakened from all the soul splitting. Wouldn't it be something if Vergil had inadvertently followed in his father's footsteps?

I'm not sure I vibe with Sparda just going off to die. It seems more fitting to me that it was an honest attempt to defeat Mundus' forces and he died in the attempt. It's more tragic to think he always meant to come back, always wanted to come back. And I like that sort of tragedy, I guess. When you try your best and you don't succeeeeeeeeeeed....

I'm gonna wrap this up here bc it's raining and losing power for a second is a definite possibility and I'd be real pissed if I had to write everything again lol

[memento-morri-writes]

Phoenix, ship, magic!

Hello TC!! Thanks for the ask!!! I hope you're doing well!

PHOENIX - Have you invented any fantasy creatures?

Actually yes!! Not a lot, but I have. The most well-known example on this blog is Squish, the magic slug of unknown abilities who Dorian and Ash accidentally adopt in CoS. Even I don't know exactly what her abilities are, but she's far from an ordinary creature!! She has separation anxiety and a huge personality, and I love her dearly. She also changes colors with her moods. Aside from Squish, I haven't invented any creatures that are wholly unique, but I'm sure I will be doing so for High Fantasy WIP, if nothing else. I do have a vague idea for wolf-spirits for CoS. They guard the tower that Dorian is trapped in at the beginning of the story. They're somewhat incorporeal, and look like massive solid black wolves. They roam the grounds around the tower. I'm not certain yet, but I'm thinking that they weren't put there to guard Dorian, but are much, much older than the few years he's been imprisoned. Dorian's aunt, Queen Lenora, specifically chose this tower because it's rumored to be haunted, and no one who approaches it ever returns. So no one would be able to find out that Dorian is still alive.

SHIP - How many pages of planning documents do you have, if any?

So, my planning is usually not done in a page format. I do my general outlining and planning on Milanote, and those plans can become quite sprawling. For ATQH I have a board for each "act" (there's 5) and within that board each chapter has a column with a board for each scene. I also made a timeline with the dates of important events. ATQH is really the only story I've extensively planned out, but I do have a Milanote document with a vague brainstorm of some major plot points for CoS. I did outline the majority of Political Fantasy WIP scene-by-scene, but I'm not sure how many pages that is since it's in Scrivener. (I know I could check, but I don't feel like doing that rn.)

The last one is going under the cut because this is already long enough and I have a LOT to say about this.

MAGIC - What is your magic system?

Oooh, this is such a good question. The only magic system that I have fully figured out is the one for CoS, and I made a whole post about that, which you can find here. The magic system of High Fantasy WIP is vaguely based off of DnD, and magic in that world falls into one of four categories: Natural-born (or innate) magic, God-Gifted (or granted) magic, Learned magic, and Bargained (or bought) magic. Natural-born magic is present from birth, and cannot be taught. Sorcerers in DnD would be an example of natural-born magic. God-gifted magic is granted to a devout follower of a deity or other higher power. I don't like calling it "divine", since it's not always a good or holy higher power, and that is the connotation that divinity usually comes with. Clerics or Paladins would be an example of this kind of magic. Learned magic can be learned by anyone who is willing to put in the time and effort, although it comes much more easily to some people than others. Wizards would have learned magic. Bargained magic comes from some kind of transaction, bargain, pact, or exchange with a powerful entity. The details of this transaction are never the same between any two people, even if they received their magic from the same source. It's the kind of magic most often viewed with disgrace or wariness, since the people who are desperate enough to make these bargains are willing to go to extreme lengths to get what they want. If people are interested, maybe I'll post my entire notes on these kinds of magic, because I totally forgot how much I had written about this.

[cartoonfangirl1218]

I seriously want  EoA to do a recap like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3ZG5ftivig

I mean technically we got that with Armando and Marlena's Long May She Reign song in the finale but this one just has a certain feel to it. . . or I'm just biased in wanting Eoa to do a Galavant song.

If you missed last week's show Or if you're slightly slow Here's what came previously in Avalor: The Princess Isabel Came searching for this fella The washed-up hero known as Gabe.

Now, Elena's gotten him to lend a hand To oust their cousin who's seized her land But zing! She's working for the king! The trap's about to spring! But that's not everything, 'cause...

Our new ally only came To save her dad  Turned to stone by his cruel ex wife  Sweet Ash, though Has lost her motherly glow In fact, she's tilting pretty sharply bitchward

She's the malvago, who wants to win her heart and Rip our hero's world apart and That is where I leave you at So hold onto your hat 'Cause here's what's next for Elenaaaaaaaa-of Ava-looooooor!

And then this recap (my favorite of all the Galavant recaps): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyap39SVuFU

The plot is gaining steam So back to this old theme Here's what's been happening in Avalor!

When we saw Elena last This guy had been outcast He vowed revenge and fled to Ash Delgado He pled to her parlais The Dark Dark Evil Way Esteban's against it, but the woman's insaner

Will she use it and go overboard? Not if the man who wields this scepter Stands tall The hero that they call The one true queen of all Which brings us back to Gabriel

And! Our captain plows ahead His army's kinda dead And yet his energy is far from flaggin' Wizard Mateo rides with Gal Bringing his little apprentice Which may or may not be a professional wizard Plus he's got the tamborita, which you'll recall Means he's the wizard who'll rule them all And so! To war three armies go! One evil, one so-so One dead and led by Gabriel!

Will Victor kill his former wife? Who stole friend and power, And made him look buffoony

Can Esteban still win back his family's again? True, they're more than likely through Unless he can redo That really awful betrayal and lying. . . 

And then he goes who-knows-where Him and his awesome hair Seeking redemption for a little while, and

Naomi said goodbye Since she has her own dreams  And now she's on her way to Soledad Island

Gosh! So much to dump upon your doormat In our half-hour sitcom format Still There's plot holes we must fill And though I doubt we will We're gonna try on Elena of Avaaalllooooooor!

[inklyqueen]

Buster Moon Headcanons

As part of the other half of that Ask

I'm sorry this took so long

Joseph Buster Moon

39, He/Him, Cis-Asexual

Just not interested in a relationship right now, but he believes he'll find that special someone down the line

No it is NOT Jimmy Crystal

Get off my page if you ship them ok he tried to murder buster TWICE

His father's name was Buster Christopher Moon and his first name was given to his son as a middle name, but Joseph goes by his middle name out of respect to his father's work to get him that theatre

Some people called him "Junior" when he was a kid

His father passed of old age/naturally

Mom was Monica Cassidy Moon

She died of leukemia when "Buster" was really small

Buster's father was the sole owner of the theatre when he first acquired it, he left it to Buster in the Will with instructions to use the remainder of his Life Insurance after funeral costs to pay off the remainder of the mortgage

Unfortunately, there wasn't enough left over for the mortgage after cremations and the ceremony and the burial and the plot for his father's ashes was paid for

Buster was certain that he could pay off the mortgage with funds from shows

Granted, that meant spending money on the actual productions for said shows

And concessions

And costumes

And advertising

And the bills for electric company, the water company, etc etc

So he took out a loan

And then another loan

And then another loan

And then a private personal loan

And then another loan after that

Dude was about $130,000 or so in debt because the shows weren't selling tickets

And most of the actors quit when there wasn't much publicity

Hey it's discouraging when you want to put on a show and no one actually comes y'all

Oh God I never noticed the look on his face in the film until now I'm 😫😫😫

Ms. Crawley isn't exactly a paid employee of Buster

She also lives in an apartment next door to the theatre

She's technically supposed to be in Senior Care

But she doesn't have any family left to actually pay for it so she's kinda just there

She has her apartment because the landlord felt bad for her and let's her stay there rent free

She wandered into the theatre one day

And Buster welcomed her in and she's been there since

He makes sure she's taken care of

They've only had to put a Silver Alert* out for her once

Or twice

Ok technically three times if you count the "interaction" with Clay Calloway the first time

She still gets the job done like a Trooper

And Buster literally could not do anything without her honestly

*A Silver Alert is a public notification system in the United States of America to broadcast information about missing persons – especially senior citizens with Alzheimer's disease, dementia, or other mental disabilities – in order to aid in locating them.

He met Eddie Noodleman in High School when Buster's school was combined into Eddie's

Aka, Eddie's high school was in an upper class area

Buster's was a low income area

The school was undergoing renovations under a new budget so they were temporarily combined into nearby schools

It was Buster and Eddie's Senior Year, so the ended up graduating together

Eddie's college tuition was covered in full by his dad

Buster got a lot of scholarships under his belt

Buster met Nana Noodleman on accident, actually

She was at their college graduation

And Buster... Had a so-so interaction with her

To say the least she was not impressed by his bluntness

Buster treats the gang like they're his kids

He doesn't want them to feel like they're not getting the spotlight they each individually deserve

Taking Rosita's lead role for example, he made sure Porsha got her chance to shine

Ash is like his grown independent child

So is Rosita

Shops for all 25 Piglets' birthdays

He is very careful about how he talks to Porsha

Not because of her overreacting to the role swap, but because she's told him some of the things that Jimmy's said over the years

Some, not all

Buster had decided he'd heard enough after "talentless excuse for a daughter"

Never calls her a brat

Definitely brought her down from the rich life a bit as far as being independent

Even though technically she's still filthy rich because she inherits that money now

She now knows how to make her own French Toast ✨

Buster is one much better terms with Clay now

They'll have a beer from time to time

Though Buster doesn't like beer—

Sense of fashion is yes

Sense of Aesthetic is yes

Dude was so used to having to do every single bit of planning that having Nooshi on to do the choreography was both nerve-wracking at first but relieving as time went on

Took him a hot minute to remember that the choreography was in good hands

Not because he didn't trust her but because he was so used to having to do it all himself

Makes sure she's got her own space

The choreography room has been completely redecorated into a more "energetic-slash-lively-go get em" space

Basically, it's Nooshi's space

He personally got the newcomers nice apartments when they moved to town

Porsha stayed with him for a little while in the guest bedroom of his apartment

Oh, and Ms. Crawley has her own room in Buster's apartment too

He made sure of that before he bought it

He worries about her health from time to time because she's up there in her years

Has also caught her writing a will

So the anxiety went 📈📈

Is relishing in the Touring Life™

Does worry about Jimmy Crystal returning

Or hurting Porsha

Considered a restraining order but the story usually went that getting a restraining order was a surefire way for the dude to come for you

Keeps it in his back pocket

Porsha is on his own will now as next of kin because of how much she's grown from the toxic hell hole her dad had her in

The Bucket™ is now on display in the Theatre

[phoenixyfriend]

#9 “Tell me to stay and I will be here for as long as you’ll have me.” with Obi-Wan & Jango & Satine? (... or Obi-Wan/Jango/Satine, I'm not picky)

Hurt/Comfort Dialogue Prompts

Oh, I'm going to make this deeply stupid and AU because I got struck by a plot bunny and I'm taking it out on a prompt.

Satine hates the man named Jango Fett.

They've met before, once or twice. He'd known her father, before the latter's assassination. She'd met Jango when she was a child, before he'd lost his people at Galidraan, before she'd lost her sister to a terrorist group and her father to a blaster shot. She'd thought him gruff but kind, at the time, and very sad.

Now, she just wants him to trip on a pipe and brain himself on one of the many rusted, broken beams around them. She won't strangle him herself, won't turn her back on her oaths and commit violence, but she's not too proud to hope for an accident.

"Pick up the pace, princess."

"I am a Duchess," she snaps, lifting her skirts to step delicately over something that might have been machinery at one point.

The only light they have is from his helmet, and the only reason she hasn't fallen from the fabric catching on some matter or other is that he has a sense for when she gets caught.

He'd suggested that she pull the skirts up to gird her loins, and then found that the numerous layers made it impossible. He'd offered to cut the skirt down to something more manageable, without depriving her of the coverage she still needed in the cold of these darks, dank ruins. He'd then found that the vibroblade did nothing against the skirts.

(She was a pacifist, not stupid. Of course her clothing was reinforced.)

"I don't care," he says back through grit teeth. She's not sure why he hasn't just left her for dead, but she's not going to complain. Much. "Just move."

They've been making their way through the ruins for hours. They still don't know how they got here. They have no way to find out.

They just head up, and hope it gets them somewhere.

(Signs litter the walls, all in a script unfamiliar to them. Archaic, or simply foreign, they don't know.)

"Wait."

She freezes.

Fett moves behind her, light shifting with the noise of his beskar, and then he says, "I'm going to turn out the light for a second. Give us a minute to adjust to the dark after I do. I think I saw something glowing, but I can't tell with the flash on."

She nods, sure that he can see it, and they are engulfed in the dark again.

It's not for long, because the glow that Fett described is real. Faint, far off down the hallway and a pale blue that winks in and out in multiple spots at once, but there.

"We'll need the light to make it there without you getting rust sickness," Fett mutters. He flicks the headlight back on. "Might get some kinda hint out of it, whatever it is."

"You'd risk it?"

"Don't have any other choice," Fett tells her. "Move out, Princess."

----

They reach the blue glow, entering a large, cavernous atrium, just as dark as the rest of the ruins so far, but much less cramped than the previous hallways.

It is mostly floating motes of something, and the something in question makes Satine's skin crawl. She has no idea what it is. She doesn't think Fett does either, but he's a little busy trying to get a scan of the room around them. Satine can just barely see the floor from the blue light, and she steps closer carefully. Part of her screams about deep sea fish and wild space ancients, creatures that use light to hunt, but they've had nothing else yet. No hints.

This place feels ancient. Perhaps the spirits that linger are even older.

"Kryze!"

"I'm fine," she calls back, deliberately refusing to understand the man's worry. She just... reaches out.

And one of the blue lights comes to her.

Fett swears and comes closer, but Satine pulls her hands to her chest, cradling the little light to herself. It's larger than she'd expected, perhaps the size of a Chandrila plum. It's warm, too.

"You're going to get yourself killed," Fett snaps.

"It's friendly," she says. "I think."

"You think," Fett hisses, the noise crackling through the vocoder. He puts a hand on her shoulder. "Listen--"

The lights coalesce. They are, for the moment, blinding, and Satine flinches away.

Fett has a blaster out before Satine can even open her eyes again. She knows the noise better than she'd like. She can identify which blaster it is by the click of the safety alone.

Any Mandalorian her age can.

"Oh dear," an unfamiliar voice says. "I'm afraid that--well, yes, Mando, hello there. I'm afraid that the blaster won't do much to me. I'm already long dead, you understand."

When Satine manages to blink the spots out of her vision, it's to see a glowing, slightly blue-tinged human figure in clothing that is distinctly Jedi, if very... very outdated.

The man--she thinks it's a man, beards usually indicate such--smiles and waves at her. "I apologize for the light show. It's been quite some time since I've had reason to take a solid form."

"I can imagine," Satine says, her voice weak even to her own ears. The man isn't much older than her, or at least wasn't when he... died? Or perhaps he was elderly when he died, and just rolled his age back as this spirit for some reason.

He smiles kindly, and then looks past her shoulder to Fett. He rolls his eyes, and smirks, and says, "Su cuy'gar, Mand'alor."

"I am not Mand'alor," Fett growls out. "I don't hold that title anymore."

"You do in spirit," the figure claims. "None other can say the same, not yet."

Before Fett can argue further, the man smiles pleasantly, and says, "I don't suppose you could remove yourselves from my shrine? Just a few steps back, thank you."

Satine looks down. She notices the raised platform and carved sigils and the stone column she hadn't seen in the earlier darkness, and flushes. She steps back and down, and Fett does the same.

"Now," the figure says. "As I was saying--"

"What are you?" Fett demands. "Ghost of a Jedi?"

"Something like that," the figure allows. "I was not just a Jedi, but... yes, I'm something you could call a ghost. I'd prefer simply a spirit."

"Like the ka'ra," Satine mutters, and grunts in disagreement.

"Those, Duchess, are only Mandalorians."

"Then I suppose it is fitting that I am both," the spirit says, and his form shifts.

Armor. It does not cover all of him--his pelvis and head are distinctly bare--but the shapes are distinctly Mandalorian. The colors aren't quite exact, with the blue glow he carries about him, but she's fairly certain she's seeing blue, green, and black. Reliability, duty, and justice.

Fitting, for a Jedi. The symbol for the Order is on his pauldron, even, and the hilt of his saber hangs easy at his side.

The gasp that comes through Fett's vocoder is harsh. She can't imagine he likes this.

"You--" he cuts himself off, takes a breath audible even past the helmet, and tries again. "There is no way you are Tarre Vizsla."

"No, I'm afraid not."

"So you must be Obi-Wan Kenobi."

The man smiles and tucks his hands into his sleeves, the swinging of the fabric allowing them the glimpse of vambraces beneath. He ducks his head in a shallow nod. "I am indeed."

Satine feels how empty of blood her own face is. She can't imagine Fett is doing much better.

"This is the Kar'ta-yaim be talyc rang," Fett mutters, horrified in a way that Satine feels her own self echoing. "You..."

"Well, we certainly never called it that," Kenobi says, head tilting faintly. "But I imagine that after the siege... Yes, Temple of Bloodied Ash would certainly reflect our final days."

It was one of the few stories that didn't pit Jedi and Mandalorians against each other, in the histories.

It had been the first attempt to coexist, the warriors of the saber and the warriors of iron. None managed to wed the two philosophies the way Kenobi had, but that hadn't mattered. They'd lived together, in peace. The reports had been clear enough, that there hadn't been weapons storage. There hadn't even been real defensive measures, barring the force fields. The Jedi had refused to let war reach this building, even whilst the Sith still raged across the galaxy. The other temples could handle the atrocities afar. The children, the elderly, the infirm, they were all to find a home here. The only weaponry were the sabers and whatever metals the Mando'ade carried in their armor.

Just a place of peace, a home to research, to children, to hospitals, all slaughtered to the last man, and set ablaze after. Nobody had ever tried such an attempt at peace between Mandalore and Jedi since. The location has been lost for longer than anyone remembers, but...

"Why are we here?" Satine asks.

"I wonder," Kenobi says, seeming far too pleased for the revelations of the last minute. He strokes at his beard, and then turns and sweeps an arm across the air. As he does, a whirring noise surrounds them, stuttered and heavy, but growing in power. Bit by bit, the sections of the wall that he'd gestured at begin to glow.

There are lights set into the wall like circuitry, warm and bright. The generators, which much be centuries old, at the least, continue to run.

"They draw energy from the river in the mountain," Kenobi says, before either of them thinks to ask. "Come along, my dears."

Satine hesitates. So does Fett.

Kenobi turns, presumably noting that their footsteps aren't following him. He smiles, and the corners of his eyes crinkle.

Satine can't remember how old he supposedly was, at his death. His eyes are much older, but...

"I assure you, it's perfectly safe," he tells them. "The building won't hurt you."

"The building?" Fett asks, sounding perhaps a little more dubious than the situation warranted. They were already talking to a figure of legend.

"Yes, the building," Kenobi repeats, indulgent in a way that Satine would have found irritating if aimed at her, but rather approved of like this. "The walls are already straightening out, I feel. And the droids are going to be clearing out the debris soon enough. The rust will be a little difficult to manage, of course, but..."

"What do you mean the walls are going to straighten out?" Satine asks. "And how... this place has been dead for centuries, hasn't it? How did you wake it?"

"Duchess Kryze, I didn't wake the Temple," Kenobi tells her. She doesn't know how he got her name. "You did."

She doesn't know what to say in response. She stays quiet, and waits for him to elaborate.

"Is it because she woke you up?" Fett asks, clearly unwilling to play a waiting game. "You're a... guardian? The keyholder to the power?"

"Mand'alor," Kenobi says, with a smile playing on his lips behind the carefully-groomed beard, "I am the Temple."

What.

He smiles and starts walking backwards, gliding in a way that makes it clear he doesn't need to step, really, because his feet don't stay planted where he puts them. They have to follow, now, or risk losing him. "My consciousness, my very self, is woven into every bit of this building. I have no flesh, not anymore, but while my sense of self stays coherent in the Force... the Temple is my body."

"How?" Satine demands, hurrying to keep up. She tries to ignore the way the flagstones shift and settle ahead of her, still and level by the time she steps forward. She tries to ignore the grinding of metal, as it's pulled into the walls like it's soup instead of stone. She tries to ignore the creaking of the foundation about them, and stays focused on the pleasant smile of one of the only two Mandalorian Jedi in history that maintained the balance.

"Do your history books carry the name of my apprentice?" Kenobi asks.

"Skywalker," Fett says immediately. "And... Tano, I think, before she changed it. She escaped, didn't she?"

"Yes, she was away at the time," Kenobi says, voice distant for but a moment. Somewhere far off among the tunnels, there is a mighty crash. "I'd fought until I couldn't any more. My armor, what I had of it, protected me from the flames. I'd worn a helmet during the siege, and it filtered the smoke, even as I lay dying from other wounds... between that and the Force, I lasted long enough that Anakin found me. The others had all died of smoke inhalation, if they hadn't succumbed to their injuries or the flames themselves by that point."

"The fire didn't reach you?" Fett questions.

"Mm, no, the alcove I was in was all stone, and there wasn't anything flammable enough nearby to reach," Kenobi says, sounding distant again. "In any case, Anakin found me. He was... distraught. Desperate. Not entirely sane, I think, but with what he walked into, I can't find it in myself to fault him."

"Master Kenobi," Satine finds herself saying. "What did he do?"

Kenobi's smile is sad. She'd call it resigned, really. He's lived--sort of--with this situation for centuries now. It makes sense. "He took my mind, my soul in the Force, and 'saved' it in a way that would leave me tied to the world past my death. It was ingenious, but... I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I don't think Anakin realized what he was doing until long after he'd already succeeded at the impossible."

"He cursed you," Fett declares.

Kenobi shrugs. "I think he expected the temple to be cleaned and re-inhabited again soon enough. It wasn't, as you can see. The generators have been gathering power for centuries, but the fire destroyed most of them, and we didn't have anything in reserve with how much we poured into the shields during the battle. I couldn't fix the ruins, and with the horrors that had occurred, nobody was coming back. Anakin said he would, he promised, but... he disappeared. He visited, and he spoke with me, but a few years in he was simply... lost. I had a connection to his ship's signal, and it winked out in the blink of an eye, and never came back."

Oh. Terrifying.

"For all that I am the Temple, now, there are still secrets here that I don't yet understand," Kenobi tells them. "Your arrival, for one thing. The sediment carried up the mountain has slowly buried the temple over the centuries. There isn't a way in, save for two tunnels leading to the river, both of which I know are untouched."

"We just woke up here," Satine admits.

"Yes," Kenobi says. "You did. And part of me knows why."

"...part?" Fett asks.

It's a fair question to ask of a man who happens to have a brain that is also an entire building, somehow.

"Areas are cut off from my awareness," Kenobi admits freely. "Cave-ins and the like, mostly. There are one or two that I think I cut deliberately, due to what lay within."

Also terrifying, thank you.

"But I do believe I know what happened," he says, with that same damnably soft smile. "You two are the leaders of your people, yes? Tradition on one side, and peace on the other."

Satine shares a glance with Fett, and then turns to Kenobi and nods.

"Then I do believe it's simply the right time," he tells them. "You'll need to work together."

"I don't think so," Satine immediately denies.

"The Force works in mysterious ways," Kenobi tells her. "And if it brought you here--and you couldn't have arrived otherwise, I promise you that--then it was for a reason. Two leaders, the same people, with ideologies that I do believe are possible to bring together into, if not mixing, then at least coexistence."

"Impossible," Fett says. "The New Mandalorians are cowards, Kenobi. To share a culture with them--"

"Is as unlikely as Jedi and the old Mandalorians?" Kenobi asks, smiling so very politely that Satine wonders at how they aren't frozen stiff at the sight of it.

The sigil of the Order gleams mockingly from his pauldron.

Kenobi huffs out a breath, just a shadow of a laugh the slightest duck of his head, and then he turns and waves open a door.

Beyond him, sitting clean and pretty and entirely free of dust on its ancient stand, rests the Darksaber.

Satine stares.

She's sure Fett does, too.

"That can't be real," she says, her mouth moving before she can control it. "The Darksaber is lost, but it's popped up in history too recently to have been here since the fires."

"I saw it in Tor Vizsla's hands less than a years ago," Fett confirms. The vocoder cuts emotion from his voice, but not enough. "This place has been locked tight for centuries. The saber can't be here."

"The same could be said of the two of you," Kenobi points out.

It's true.

Satine steps forward, when it becomes clear that Fett won't. She picks up the weapon, holds it like the antique it is, square and unwieldy, but so very, very old that she cannot deny its importance. Weapon or not, it is her people's history.

She lights it.

The blade burns black.

"Turn it off," Fett rasps, and she does.

Satine looks back at him, and then to Kenobi. She turns fully, and steps forward, and holds it out to Fett.

He looks at her, uncomprehending.

"If you'd like to check for yourself," she says, and her voice is too quiet, but she can't help it. Something is happening, something heavy and broken, and she can't ignore the pressure of the future in this moment.

Fett takes the saber. He looks at it in his hands, and she thinks he is shaking.

"Your people need you, Mand'alor," Kenobi says, and there is no room for question. "They also need the Duchess."

"Why you?" Fett asks, voice strained and shattered in a way Satine can't even begin to pick apart.

"It was either me or Tarre, really," Kenobi says, with an idle shrug unfitting of the situation. "And I'm a little more... accessible, shall we say, to those who aren't sensitive to the Force."

Kenobi steps forward and rests an immaterial hand on Fett's shoulder.

"I already failed my people once," Fett says, barely audible.

"And now you shall save them," Kenobi says. His voice is firm. It is as if there is no question, to him, about whether or not Fett will succeed. "You won't be alone, either."

Satine shifts her weight, refusing to meet Kenobi's eyes. Her hands fist in her dress, and her mind races.

"What do you need of me?" Fett manages.

"...Mand'alor?"

"What do you need of me, Master Kenobi?"

Satine looks up.

Fett... Fett removes his helmet, and looks at Kenobi with an expression that is more desperation than deference.

"To cooperate with those who would follow a different creed," Kenobi says, so low it's practically a murmur. His hand, still intangible, reaches out to cup Fett's jaw. Fett leans into it. "To protect those who cannot do so for themselves. Our people are warriors, Mand'alor, but to refuse violence for violence's sake, after the wars that have killed our home and rendered it little more than glass, that is its own bravery."

"Master--"

"Listen to me," Kenobi says, and Fett falls silent. "You will need to protect them. The Duchess may have the funds and the support to bring forth education, agriculture, childcare, and so on, but there are many who would take advantage of that peace. She provides the home for tradespeople, but you are the shield that keeps them safe."

It could be a balance, Satine tries to tell herself. Maybe.

Kenobi seems so certain of it, and Satine may hate violence, but she is far from unaware of the pirates and warlords that nip at their borders.

"The foundlings need homes," Kenobi continues. "The stories need to be told. The culture is fading, Mand'alor. Bring it back."

His eyes flick to Satine, and she looks away.

(Her pressure was only ever on violence. Her advisors had pressed at the erasure of the rest, but if it meant children grew up without the worry of their parents dying in pointless battle, then wasn't it worth bending?)

(Couldn't she look the other way as they tightened restrictions on even symbolic vambraces, if it meant few too-small bodies in the streets?)

(Her planet was a wasteland. What did culture mean in the face of so many dead?)

(She knows Fett doesn't see it that way, but she is the only governing New Mandalorian with any blood on their hands. She knows the weight of violence, of lives taken by her actions.)

(She knows it, and she rejects it knowingly.)

Fett breathes harshly, and Satine closes her eyes.

"I agree to try," she says. "If we can get out of these ruins and back to our people... I will try. I cannot speak for my people on this, but to instate the old Mandalorians as a planetary guard... it may be doable."

"Little steps, my dear," Kenobi says. He looks down at Fett, who's... not well, it seems. "The Mand'alor needs some help, I think. I'm no trained mind healer, but I imagine I can help. More than most, maybe. There are few who know what it is to be a sole survivor."

He smirks, just a little, at the joke that he is not, in fact, a man who survived.

It's not very funny.

"I'll stay," Fett says. "I'll... I'll learn. Master Kenobi, you... Tell me to stay and I will be here for as long as you’ll have me."

"As a student?" Kenobi asks, catching on to just the same thing as Satine has. "Not in the Force, surely, but... you truly wish to stay?"

"There are none left alive that I would trust to show me the way," Fett says. Beseeching, he reaches for Kenobi, and his hands pass through. There's a pain in him that Satine can't quite comprehend, and Fett falls to his knees. "Please."

"You need only ask," Kenobi says. "The Duchess will look after our people until the King takes his throne, and then you will rule together."

They'll have to, Satine tells herself, and steps forward. She puts a hand on Fett's shoulder, and pulls him to his feet.

"Where do we begin?" she asks.

[mistwraiths]

2 stars

Apologies for the blurry picture but I couldn't seem to find a good one. The Crown of Gilded Bones is the third book in the From Blood and Ash series. I want everyone to know I'll be putting on my clown makeup after I post this review because despite rating the first two books low and having issues with them, I somehow deluded myself into thinking this one might be better! It wasn't and dare I say it I think this was the worst one by far.

I'm genuinely trying to find something good about this book ot at least something I really enjoyed. I do like that the books pick up right where the last book ends up. The first few chapters are pretty exciting. Around page 600, the last few chapters are fast paced and things are happening. Other than that, I can't really think of anything I really liked about the book.

Crown of Gilded Bones majorly suffers, like its predecessors, in the same four ways. Being too long, repetition, world information and building, and nothing important to the central story or plot happening for huge chunks of pages.

I firmly believe that all the books were half their length and the story beats were quicker coming and longer, it would be far more enjoyable. Instead you're forced to slog through inner monologues that don't add anything new, Poppy getting dressed by Casteel, showers, and other mundane parts. I thought knowing that it would be slow would help me enjoy the book but nope. The whole deciding to go to the realm of the gods literally doesn't happen until nearly the end of 500 pages in.

The worst part about the book being far too long and nothing happening is that when something does happen, it gets rehashed several times to the point where I, as a reader, am exhausted about reading about talking about it. I'm a big lover of communication. I love it when characters who are working together or are together tell each other important information and trust each other, but this is different. Once something happens, it gets talked about it detail for a handful of chapters, usually lasting longer than the actual event itself, and then is brought up again to go over, and then again. It's frustrating because I just want to move on but the story is so determined to go over everything again.

That's not the only instances of repetition. I know authors tend to reuse certain words over again. SJM and her "croon" and "toes curl" and "barked/roared". I can forgive stuff. I can look over Jennifer's constant use of dimples. The honeydew part is the most disgusting. I don't care what flavor Poppy's vagina is. There's a difference when it comes to the same thing happening with the near similar responses/situations being used over and over again as an attempt in humor but it falls flat after its been used several times. I'm talking about the "I have a question" "No one is surprised by that" parts and the Poppy being prone to violence makes Casteel horny and Poppy has to be like you're disturbing. If it showed up once or twice after the initial one, I could get over it. But it's reused every so many chapters. If it's an attempt at humor, it is a poor one.

This book is number three in a series and this book is still chock-full of world building and world information. I could possibly forgive it since I suppose at the start Jennifer didn't plan for a big fantasy series, but it's too much. There's so much information being crammed at you and it's in a very obvious way. Poppy asks and Kiernan or Casteel answers. That's pretty much the only way Poppy and the reader learns anything. At this point, I feel like I need a glossary and timeline because there is so much information.

In fact, despite nothing happening, l don't know how it still feels that there is a lot going on. There's the Solis problem. There's the Poppy should be queen problem. There's the people have concerns of Poppy being queen. There's the Unseen problem. Another Dark One problem? Poppy's lineage/past mystery. Something about waking up the Consort? And a little bit more. It's a lot.

In the second book, I liked Poppy (sort of), Casteel, and Kiernan. However, I find myself not liking any of them that much. From personality to saying similar things, they all feel very much the same character. There's not much difference in personalities or dialogue. About the only difference is that Kiernan is cool, Poppy is compassionate when it suits the narrative, and Casteel is protective. Other than that, there's not much of a difference between any of them.

Poppy is pretty much the same as always. Massively overpowered and incredibly special, doesn't know anything about her world that she lives in, and somehow despite being so special and powerful, she's kidnapped and hurt and then levels up again. We are forcefully spoon-fed how Poppy is so strong, so beautiful, so intelligent and clever. I haven't found one instance that I've been wow that was smart. Poppy's powers she inherently knows how to use perfectly the moment she gets them.

There's also almost no female interactions or female friendships with Poppy. Tawny was barely there in the first one but when she surprisingly shows up here, she's immediately rendered injured and unconscious. We're told Vonetta and Poppy are friends, but there's been almost no interactions. Vonetta gave her clothes once and then delivered a message later. Is that a basis for friendship? Vonetta eventually falls in a hole and Poppy saves her. That's about it. Ileana and Eloana are both older motherly types but also significant worrisome individuals for Poppy internally. Again, there's like one conversation each with them individually. Lyra is introduced to us by giving Kiernan a blow job but no interactions. Hisa and Nova are soldiers but no interactions. It's even mentioned that female draken are rare, but I'd argue that female characters are exceptionally rare. It's ridiculous. It's like there isn't any female that's allowed to have a moment of spotlight or competency other than Poppy. Poppy also has a moment of nastiness that's out of character when she threatens a woman who admitted to her that she had no interest in Casteel and Casteel had said the same and he wasn't interested in her, and she threatens to rip her limb from limb. It's so sudden and startlingly and leaves a terrible taste in my mouth.

As for Casteel, I no longer like him nor do I think he's a good guy. I think he's capable of good, being good, doing good but there's too many times where he's been vocal about killing anyone and burning his own kingdom down if Poppy doesn't get her own freedom of choice or what she want and what not. It's played out as the most truest love but to me, that's like a villain kind of love. If someone I loved burned down a city because I didn't get to choose what I wanted, I'd call the police. The craziest thing I had to read is people believing that Casteel would make a good king when he legitimately states that Poppy's needs comes before his own kingdom's needs. And if hers are met, the kingdom's could be met. That's not how any of that works!

He also does something incredibly reckless. I get it, he couldn't live without Poppy so he chooses to Ascend her. I can wrap my head around it. The fact of the matter is that Casteel refuses to take the blame or even entertain the consequences that could have resulted in that and how reckless it was. Poppy even refuses to allow the conversation. They are both like: I am not a vampry. Nothing bad happened so let's move on. It's astounding. Not only that but I felt it extremely odd that Poppy would have been okay with Casteel making her into a vampry, something incredibly dangerous and something she hates and would never want to be. It's just oh okay well luckily I didn't turn into one. And that's... it? It would have made good tension but no. Instead, they're just in love so much we have to listen to Casteel tell her how strong and beautiful she is every twenty pages.

I was excited to learn more about Kiernan but I still couldn't tell you much about him. Best friends with Casteel, a wolven, and he's always like "no one is surprised by Poppy having question". That's about all I know of him. Those are all things I knew about him in the second book.

Some other things I had issues with is that the villains are eager to spill everything about their plans. I feel like I'm watching a cartoon show with their villain monologues going on and on. Everyone except for Poppy is knowledgeable about everything!! People are constantly apologizing for things they have no control of. Characters somehow know exactly what to say to Poppy all the time like mind reading. I'm annoyed that the gods realm and the draken were such short parts.

When the reveals and the action which took 600 pages to get to happened, I really couldn't find myself caring. Reading felt like a chore. I'm not worried about any of the characters. I don't know if I'm interested anymore in reading this series because it feels like work trying to read it. I'm here for enjoyment and I'm not having a good time.

[justanotherlifeff]

Chapter 2

8 April 2316

Monday

Musutafu, Japan

You entered the classroom to find a certain tall black haired boy drilling an ash blonde for putting his feet on the desk. You personally never cared much about rules nor did you feel like poking a nose into people’s business was something that anyone should do, unlike Tenya Iida ofcourse. You knew that he would be aiming for the hero course in UA and to be fair, you certainly hoped to see him here again given that your only form of entertainment at Soumei was pissing him off. Yes, Iida was class president back in Soumei and let’s just say, you didn’t see eye to eye. Although you never full on bullied him like Ash blonde here. Infact, while you enjoyed pissing him off, you considered him as a friend even if being in the same class as him was sometimes a pain in the ass. “Remove your foot from that desk! Such an action is insulting to those who came to UA before us as well as the craftsmen who made the desk.” Iida argued. “Like I care. What middle school are you from, you extra?” Bakugou asked him in a rude tone. That’s when you noticed another student with mossy green hair had got in. He was staring at the bickering pair with a defeated look. “My name is Tenya Iida. I’m from Soumei private Academy.” Iida answered with pride. Ofcourse… Typical Iida… He just can’t see the insult that would come with that… “Soumei? A stuck up enlist then? I should blow you to bits.” Bakugou crackled. Even though you were enjoying the bickering, you decided that you should save your clueless classmate. “Sorry about him. He just cares about rules too much. He’s been on my back about how I wear my uniform for years.” you smiled apologetically at Bakugou as Iida tried to blow away whatever damage control you did by saying, “You’re awful! Do you even wish to become a hero? And (L/N)-kun, your shoes are absolutely inappropriate for school! Why would you wear sneakers to school?”. That’s what you get for trying to save him from blondie. “Iida-kun, give up already.” you told him with a teasing smile before he noticed the green haired boy and ran towards him.

Bakugou glared at the green haired kid for a while before looking back at you and asking, “Are you from Soumei too, extra?” with a frown. “You know, after standing up for you, I expected you to not call me an ‘extra’. You wound me mister!” you told him with, acting dramatically as if his words hurted you. “Oh I know you. You’re the villain kid. And you’re gonna teach me how to behave?” Bakugou sneered. That hit a nerve and all the light bulbs in the class shattered, making Bakugou startled for only a moment. You got yourself in control within moments and smiled at him before saying, “Sorry about that, my quirk's kinda annoying. By the way, come on dude! Lighten up! I know you didn’t mean any harm but that kinda hurted you know. I don’t want any trouble. Let’s get along okay?”. The boy tched in reply. That’s when Aizawa got into the dark classroom. “ (L/N), you can’t keep breaking the lights. Go to the Principal’s office and fill out a form for new lights. We will cut that from your part time job, again.” Aizawa told you firmly. “Yes sensei” you answered with a sigh before heading to the principal’s office.

When you came back, you found the other blonde kid from class waiting for you in an empty class. “(L/N)-kun, everyone’s gone to the grounds for a quirk test. Aizawa sensei asked me to wait for you to give you your uniform.” he told you with a confident smile. “Thank you! What’s your name?” I asked him with a smile. “I’m Kaminari Denki. But, you can call me Shrek, because I'm head ogre heels in love with you.” he answered with a flirty smile, winking at you. “Aside from scaring women away with shitty pickup lines, what do you do for a living?.” I chuckled at him. He dramatically put a hand on his chest before saying, "You wound me, (L/N)-chan. Besides, didn't you just improvise a pick-up line there?" as we headed towards the changing rooms. He had his uniform in his hands too. “Totally did my friend! While I can assure you that you're not my type, I can see that you're a man of culture and I henceforth declare you as my friend. Thanks for waiting!” I joked, pretending that my hand is a sword as I acted as if I just knighted him, making him laugh. "Well, atleast I scored a hot friend!" Denki shouted towards you as you got into the girl’s changing room.

“(L/N)-kun! How did you explode those bulbs?” a shorter brown haired girl approached you, her eyes sparkling in interest. “Yes, your quirk must be very powerful.” a tall black haired girl approached you as well. “I’m Yaoyorozu Momo. Nice to meet you” she bowed slightly with a smile on her face. “Oh right, sorry, I’m Uraraka Ochako. Nice to meet you!” the first girl remembered that she didn’t tell you her name. “It’s alright. I’m (L/N) (F/N). My quirk includes telekinesis. But, unlike the typical telekinesis, mine is in the molecular level. So, when I get any sudden emotion within me, my telekinesis activates and removes molecules from the most breakable things around. Glass molecules come apart more easily which is why they break. I don’t exactly explode them.” you explained my power to them. “I see. That’s impressive. I’m Ashido Mina! You should change quickly. We’ll wait for you.” a pink girl told you with a smile. “Thanks guys!” you answered before starting to change into the training uniform.

When you all arrived at the grounds, the boys were already there with Aizawa. You stood there with the girls as Aizawa explained how things in UA works. Denki saw you out there and approached you immediately. "Now that we are friends, would you introduce me to your hot female friends?" he whispered to you as if he was plotting something devious. "Oh no. I thought you liked me! Such betrayal!" you acted as if you were offended before laughing at your own antics with your new friend. "Well, come on then, let's get you introduced to the hot girls" you laughed as you introduced him to the group of women. While everyone else was pretty much freaked out by his downright flirting, Mina joined you into teasing him about it. After getting a scolding from Aizawa to shut everyone up, you watched upon with interest as he asked Bakugou, to pitch a ball. He used an explosion from his hand to throw the ball 705.2m away while shouting… “Die”? "He is one weird guy" you couldn't help but think. After that Aizawa went ahead to explain that anyone who scores the least would be expelled. He did expel people on their first day before so you hoped that your classmates would take him seriously. He then proceeded to explain why 21 students were admitted in Class 1A instead of 20, (apparantly the two lowest scorers got the same score in the entrance exam).

The event started with a 50 meter dash. You completed it in 1.23 second as you just opened a portal and crossed the finish line taking the highest score in class. Your middle school record was 7.58 seconds. Your strength test machine broke when you used telekinesis. Again, highest score in class. You used telekinesis to levitate during long jump, scoring highest again. You scored lowest in the repeated side step as there was no way to use your powers here. In the ball throw test, you opened a portal to the moon since you decided to learn the coordinates to a certain place in the moon knowing that doing something as flamboyant as this would certainly gain you a reputation and threw the ball in there. When the display read 384400 km, everyone was surprised. You could see the visible anger in Bakugou’s face as you beat him in almost all the tests. However, you weren’t the highest scorer in this one. Uraraka scored Infinity thanks to her quirk.

You were surprised when Aizawa didn’t expel anyone. Specially given that Mirodiya, as much as you found him extremely sweet, literally broke his finger when he tried to use his powers. You were the top scorer, which wasn’t much of a surprise. However, you discovered something during the test. Bakugou seems to hate Midoriya with a burning passion. While you figured out that Bakugou is pretty much an asshole, you sensed an enormous amount of inferiority complex within him. "He has a powerful quirk, more powerful than Midoriya but then, why did he feel like he was inferior to Midoriya?" was a thought that ran through your head. You honestly wouldn’t be bothered by complex people like them usually since you preferred to keep your life simple and fun, however, Bakugou was too explosive to ignore. He ranted on how Midoriya was quirkless before the ball throwing test. It seemed that they had a history and the way Bakugo acted made you interested in knowing. After all, it doesn’t hurt to know more about your classmates, right?

When class was over, you was headed to the teacher’s quarters. However, I was stopped by Denki and a red haired kid. “(L/N)-chan!” Denki shouted as he called you. You waited for him to catch up. “(L/N)-chan, are you busy now?” he asked. “No, not really. Why?” you asked him, confused. “We were going to try out the new cafe that opened nearby. You can stick along with us if you want to. I’m Kirishima Ejiro by the way. I heard you're already friends with Kaminari so I figured that we should go together?” the red haired boy explained. “Oh sure. Why not? I don't have much to do till my shift at the gym and that's not anytime soon.” you answered. “Damn, a working woman.. Now that's cool..” Denki praised in a flirtatious tone. “Yeah working is pretty manly!” Kirishima agreed enthusiastically. “I honestly would rather just stay at home and read a manga. I'm only working cause I gotta pay for all the damage I do to school property.” I sighed only to get reassuring looks from the two boys. "Aww get a sugar daddy, (Y/N)! I've been looking for a sugar mommy my entire life but I'm cursed with sheer good looks" Denki flicked his hair sarcastically. "Oh shut up you moron!" you answered rolling your eyes and flicking his forehead with a small pebble using your telekinesis, making Kirishima laugh at your antics as the three of you went for the cafe. And this is how, the infamous 'Bakusquad' unofficially started.

[gaycey-sketchit]

(Gary anon) Our first crumb of Gary for the year and it's not JN-related. xD If the short ever gets dubbed to English, Veronica seems reprise Ash for it. (Yes, brotherly vibes. It'd be nice if he met Chloe too; the Umbreon thing is still a missed opportunity) Still haven't really played Minecraft yet; I've seen gameplay at least, but I knew since its debut it'd be something that'd resonate with a lot of people just from the style and premise alone. Expanded a lot since then. (It's honestly the

.

(Part 2) way I can see Serena being brought back without steering up too much of a storm. No matter how hard the writers try, having Ash being anywhere near will distract all focus from Chloe. Plus I rather she returns with the aura of being her own character and not shipping content. Though, Serena x Chloe might bring from this. Can't wait to see "Chloe stole Serena from Ash" discourse. :P ) The only big thing about the episode is that Cassidy and Butch had quit.

(Part 3) Some think the Gatcha is finally gone, but having seen the subs, I kinda doubt it. Journeys is still on a mission to showcase every current Pokemon; it's a little over the halfway point now. Otherwise, you can wait for the dub instead. With how fast they've been shooting out these episodes since the VA change to try and catch up, it's impressive no one hit a snafu with their throats during it. It's been a consistent stride. (I will say, on top of them holding out

(Part 4) on 'High Touch' and Cassidy having her old Pokemon referenced, feeling even more good on seeing Gary's other Pokemon again) Heh, just got back from seeing a Snorlax obliterate someone's poor Oshawott with Hyper Beam on Twitter. (For me, I haven't change my mind on Cynda; but Oshawott is VERY close cause I debating on having Arcanine on board or just wing 2 Fire-types)

Ha, yeah. I'm glad for all those little cameos, it's very cool!

The joy I would feel. I love Veronica Taylor as Ash, and I love how much she still cares about that role even after all these years since the recasting happened.

I really do still want Gary and Chloe to meet. The potential!

Yeah, I was pretty late to the party myself with Minecraft--I first played it in 2016. At first I was kind of hesitant with it because I was used to games with plot and objectives and what are you supposed to do?? But the answer is that you do whatever you want and that turned out to be very cool. And it's come a long way, with all the updates over the years and it's still going. My interest in it waxes and wanes but when I get into it again I tend to get really into it, and part of that is discovering what's changed since I last played. A couple weeks ago I came across some glow squids, a newish mob, for the first time while exploring and was taken aback by how pretty they were. I take a very strong "graphics aren't what makes a good game" stance, and a big part of that is just because people tend to not realize a game doesn't have to look one certain way to be beautiful.

Anyway. Affectionate rambling about Minecraft aside.

Yeah, for sure. Serena's return, when/if it happens, will definitely cause some kind of stir but how bad things get will depend on how that situation is handled. I can't remember if we talked about this before (you may have noticed I have the memory of a goldfish sometimes) but Serena would also be really good for Chloe to talk to, since from what I've heard (still haven't watched much of XY) it took her some time to figure out who she was and the path she wanted to take.

Yeah, Serena deserves to get to be her own person outside of shipping, but the ship stuff is inevitable. I think Chloe/Serena could be a good ship though, I'd at least enjoy seeing the fanart.

It seems like a very good episode for Team Rocket enjoyers! A friend of mine who doesn't even like Journeys (and loves Team Rocket very much) watched it and was talking about it in the Discord they and I are both in last night, and they really enjoyed it and I'm very happy for them about it. I'll probably just watch it when it's dubbed though because Legends Arceus has pretty much taken over my life. (A shame that the gacha is still probably a thing, but alas. Can't win 'em all, as the saying goes.)

It really is amazing, despite my grievances with the TPCI dub I really do respect all the talented hardworking people who make it happen (except I don't respect Sarah Natochenny anymore after she defended NFTs on Twitter, but I do think she's a good VA).

Yeah, I think there's hope for seeing more of Gary's Pokemon!

Oh, that poor Oshawott. Ow. My Pokemon have taken some pretty hard hits themselves but not HYPER BEAM.

I ended up choosing Rowlet myself! I thought about shaking things up a bit from my usual tradition of choosing the grass starter on my first playthrough, like how the game itself deviates from the formula, and I almost went with Oshawott but my heart said to choose the grass starter and that's what happened. (Oh, I am a firm believer that having a balanced team is secondary to having as many beloveds as possible. I go through most of my playthroughs with at least two grass-types, and on this one I have Budew and Rowlet c: )

[wickerjulias]

okie dokie so i read all of the fics that you reccommended embarassly fast, do you have any long napollya recs i don't care if they're super angsty but I cannot deal with not a happy ending.... i'm sorry they were just so GOOD my favorites were toska and a literary manifesto !!! -your fic needing stalker anon

hey there anon!! i’m sorry for the delay. and omg yeah!! i love these two!! like wow!! 

unfortunately the tmfu fandom doesn’t a lot of very long fics, but i tried my best to find some for you. here you go, same format as your last ask, i hope you’re gonna have a blast reading them!

Tidings of Comfort and Joy by pinpointjudas (M)

Napoleon and Illya are sent to deepest, darkest Yorkshire to investigate a rumour that a THRUSH agent is spending Christmas at Castle Bellamy. Their brief is to hide in plain sight amongst other house guests. Napoleon is convinced it will be an almost enjoyable case, provided Illya cheers up, the ghost in his bedroom leaves him alone, and they catch the nefarious agent before anyone winds up dead...

Note: This one isn’t finished technically, because the epilogue is missing. I’d still give it a read though, because it’s written super well and because most of the issues the story deals with get resolved in the last chapter posted.

The Ghost War by manic_intent (E)

Aleppo was one of the oldest cities on earth, and once, it had been one of the most beautiful. Illya had been here before the war, when he was younger, young enough to be taken by wanderlust. He had walked through the very place he stood now, gawking at the crowds, the tightly packed stalls, listening to voices haggling in a language he did not understand, the market riotous with colour and laughter and spices. Now Al-Madina Souq was broken with rubble, its arched corridors blasted dark, its cathedral silence sometimes interrupted rudely by the distant staccato booming of artillery and gunfire, the ancient stone thick with the stench of rot and urine.

Note: This one is rather short in comparison to the others, but it’s so good!! I’d def rec it!

in sin + error by neroh, (M+E)

The mission is a simple one: retrieve a USB drive from a very bad man’s yacht off located in the Mediterranean Sea and confirm its destruction to HQ.Or another way Napoleon and Illya met.

Note: This one’s a series.

all that you have wished for, I know will come your way by janie_tangerine (E)

Napoleon isn’t quite sure he can put yes, because your superiors don’t get to see you gloating when you’re not playing chess against yourself, and they don’t get to discuss dumb opera plots with you, they don’t get to see you engrossed in cheap paperbacks and treat them like first editions because you care that much about what they say, and they don’t get to see that you have a personality and that it’s everything but unpleasant when one gets to know you, and I don’t understand why would anyone think it’s a good idea to treat you like an asset and not a person in words that might not sound completely ridiculous, never mind that he’s not even sure Illya would take such a rant seriously.

Or: where Illya has issues asking for what he wants if it falls under the unnecessary-to-his-job radar and Napoleon just might be a bit over in his head, but he's entirely willing to rectify that situation.

Wanting Too Much by Tallihensia (E)

A young soldier turned thief after the war, Napoleon goes to a black-market auction to sell a valuable painting... and comes away with something he didn't intend to buy – a Russian KGB agent. After an interesting night where they get to know each other, the next day finds them determined to do something to right some wrongs... but not all wrongs can be corrected that easily. As they work together, Napoleon learns some hard truths... but also comes away at the end with something more valuable than a painting.

Note: Technically speaking NOT with a happy end, but there is some sort-of sequel you can find in the endnotes of the fic.

By the Throat (T+E)

In which the KGB took some rather dubious measures to ensure Illya’s loyalty to Russia, and Napoleon doesn’t care for it.

Note: This is a series as well, but it’s restricted and only available if you have an AO3 account.

how certain the journey by Carthage (E)

Illya’s mark – Solo’s claim on his skin- is an ugly thing. In childhood it had shone like Solo’s, beautiful and good and bright, but then he had gone to the KGB, and there, they had tried to destroy the mark. To make him truly equal, and no one’s submissive. His mark has burned patches outlining it, thin crosshatches of scars, pockmarked pits of white skin- and yet, the mark returned, every time.

despite the passage by endquestionmark (E)

Illya has been waiting for something to happen for a very long time.

The Honey Trap by Mamalazzer (E)

"So congratulations, Peril," Napoleon drawled, looking so amused that he could see it was literally setting Illya's teeth on edge. "You have the supreme good fortune of getting to kiss me senseless. Now be a good sport and put your hands on my backside, would you? I'm beginning to feel neglected."

In which the boys have to go undercover as a couple, with Napoleon having a whale of a time while Illya isn't sure whether to knock Napoleon's teeth out or kiss him.

Spanning the Reaches byTallihensia (E+T)

Napoleon reflects on his partner while waiting to rescue him. Afterwards, Illya has a unique way of saying thank you for saving his life. Napoleon thinks it’s a good idea... and after Illya saves him, returns the thanks.

Note: A series as well.

The Trojan Affair bymanic_intent (E)

Ten minutes to go to ground zero and Artyom was still desperately trying to escape. “I have never attended little girl’s birthday party,” he pointed out repeatedly, and actually pouted, big blue eyes wide and pleading.

“Always a first time,” Napoleon said mercilessly, pulling on a charcoal Tom Ford blazer over his loose gray knit. “Mrs Siegfried invited us weeks ago, Artyom, don’t be a baby. You’ve had quite a while to gird your loins. We’re going to a party, not some sort of trench warfare. Smile.”

Artyom scowled, which was admittedly normally an adorable look even for a tall, blonde Russian giant of a man. “I do not like Mrs Siegfried,” Artyom declared, clearly intent on being as recalcitrant as possible.

The Gemini Affair by manic_intent (E)

In the first month of being co-opted into working with Illya Kuryakin full time at U.N.C.L.E., Napoleon stole Illya’s father’s watch four times, twice out of spite, once out of drunken curiosity, and once out of sheer boredom. After the fourth time, Gaby sprained one of Napoleon’s fingers and threatened to do worse if he did it again.

“You are not a spy,” she told him firmly, dangling the watch out of reach as Napoleon curled in a wincing, fetal position on his Le Corbusier couch in his upstate apartment. “You are a thief with the self-control of a child. Now give me back my ring.”

“What ring?” Napoleon asked innocently, even through the pain.

“How fond are you of your nose?” Gaby shot back blandly.

I am a part of all that I have met by ScribeofArda (T+M)

It's been over a year since Rome, since they stopped the world ending, since Napoleon made a choice and threw a watch across the room instead of pulling a gun. They've been spiralling together in that inevitable way, but neither Napoleon or Illya have been brave enough to take the first step across to the other.

Now it might all be too late, and Napoleon didn't think it would end like this: Illya lying in the street, ash and blood and Napoleon's name on his lips. There are a thousand unspoken words between them, begging to be heard before they become just another regret on top of the many they've already accumulated over the years, but the game never stops, not even for love.

Note: Again, a series.

Drowning Deep bySomedrunkpirate

Don’t follow the rabbit. He knows this. Don’t fall into the rabbit hole of memories. You’ll drown.

But Illya lives there, deep in the past, it’s the only way he gets through the day.

The Argonauts byleslielol

Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin accompany one another on a journey.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ro & Ali

Ro: …---… Ro: Mayday mayday Ali: This is AlleyCat, roger your mayday, position is our bedroom, how can I be of assistance? Ro: That was a very efficient response Ro: What would your ETA be for reaching the fantasy section of the library? Ali: Constant vigilance, Rosaline Ali: 15 minutes ish providing the hairy-footed hobbits aren't too thick a crowd to cut through Ali: What's the danger? Ro: Let me preface by saying that I could burn a forest of cedar and do not believe I'd be adequately protected Ro: Now that you're forewarned, I'll explain Ro: Kayne is here because his dear sister is having a party at which he is unwelcome Ro: As if her birthday wasn't already cause for lack of celebration enough, I can now not escape his attentions Ali: Yikes! Not to mention the environmental damage too, and if it's not gonna work, we're defs best to avoid Ali: Also the Librarian would probably think you were blazing up back there and using pages of an old Jilly Cooper as roaches and who wants to be tarred with the same brush as Donovan O'Reilly? Ali: Gross, skip the protection spells and the like and go straight for a swift kick in the balls Ali: How is it he's ALMOST as delusional as his sister? Not in this galaxy or one far, far away, honey, c'mon Ro: Precisely Ro: Not to mention of all days today I chose not to wear black and I don't need the ash blow back to ruin this outfit Ro: He's in no way worth that damage either Ro: Hm! I couldn't possibly do that, though I have pondered long and hard enough to suggest telling him that we'd (providing you and Carly would be willing to tag along, that is) crash the party, only to leave him there and make our escape Ro: Perhaps I'm being delusional myself to create a narrative whereby Laoise isn't hyper alert to our presence upon all occasions Ali: That's what it is, you've let your cover down and he's taken it as an invite! Ali: Though sure, you could probably wear a potato sack and he'd still be mooning Ali: Ha, that would be hilarious though! Rock up with a card and a bottle like, hey babes Ali: Least we could leg it, only a few doors to safety, after-all Ro: Oh Ali! I don't know what he sees in me and frankly do not wish to know Ro: What would be proper attire for a soiree at your nemesis' house? Ro: I'm certain she'd love to see me a potato sack even more so than her brother would, so I'll assume not that Ro: Exactly, why would she ever be hesitate to drink anything we offered or read anything we'd scribbled on a piece of paper which may or may not be a curse?! Ro: Very amusing. Unlike the conversational loop I am currently stuck in Ro: To use the term conversation very loosely, of course Ali: DUH, you're beautiful AND smart, not like other girls! Gag Ali: [Sends multiple options with are a lot of black silk, lace, fake fur and leather moments] Ali: Right? We're the perfect party guests Ali: Been ages since we tried anything dark sided, don't let the chic looks fool ya Ali: Oh Lord, what is he even? Last time I got stopped by him on my way to the post office he was prattling on about some online game and I should join and Ali: I'd feel bad for him but he's also intensely dislikeable and entitled with it all so Ro: Oh god, you're not actually considering putting my pretend party crashing into action, are you? Ro: I'm as tempted right now as I've ever been to dabble in dark arts, but that's solely for his benefit, and my own in ending this interaction, not hers Ro: He's offering to tutor me right now, which I neither need nor believe to be his real intentions in asking Ro: I know I'm not as scholarly as you, but that's why I'd turn to you if I needed assistance, not someone whose scores are not even on a par with my lesser subjects Ali: Of course I am Ali: She knows she misses us, you know I know that you need saving Ali: Win win on many different levels Ali: 😂 Nice try, bud Ali: How cliche, taking too many lessons from bad porn and worse romcoms himself, like Ro: Please no Ro: If you bring an invisibility cloak I may consider it, but otherwise Ro: As for Kayne, I almost miss the days he used to put slugs in my hair Ro: He had the excuse of childhood to blame his cliches on and we had some new pets into the bargain Ali: It all comes down to who you'd rather be fighting off, him or her Ali: Pets, or INGREDIENTS, eh, Leesh? Ro: I just snorted, so score one for appearing unattractive, thank you Ro: If I take off my glasses will that likely add or deduct a point? Ro: But to answer your query, the way I see it, Carly's owed a rematch so maybe we should go to the party Ro: Birthday beatings are a time honored tradition, no? Ali: Welcome, if he gives us room to pull of an anti-makeover I bet I can get that score in the minuses Ali: He's defs into the glasses vibe, makes him think he gives a shit about what's on the inside and your brain, as if you aren't the epitome of beauty still Ali: Ooh, true, true, many scores to settle, rights to wrong...I'll see if she's down or wants her own training montage to counteract yours Ali: Now you're sounding like a McKenna! Ro: But even if I switched to contacts, dyed my sister's hair and went shopping for an entirely new wardrobe, he'd still take my personality as an invitation Ro: As though I crafted any of this to appeal to him, or indeed to repel his sister Ro: Just trying not to lose my own voice here as he mansplains the plot of the novel I was faux browsing Ro: I may take a swing for him if this continues for much longer however, and thank Fearghal later for the lessons Ali: You mean its not him, him its all for him? Shocker Ali: You got two options way I see it (still on the peace path, your soul can thank ME later) Ali: Either outwit him and pick a book he so won't understand and show him up with your superior intellect, easy or hard mode, act infuriatingly dumb 'cos that would dead put him off his ideal of you Ali: like Shakespeare who? Is that the Leo movie? Ro: Both excellent suggestions Ro: And I could indeed wax lyrical about how gorgeous Leo was in that movie until the library closes so Ali: Honestly, proof of angels Ro: Thank you, yes! Ro: Not that it's needed, but if people insist upon being ignorant, there you are everyone Ro: He'd never talk down to me about Trolls and Orcs Ali: Seriously Ali: If our teachers ever got creative with the assignments, then I could too, dissertation READY on how this dirty world of ours has tainted him Ali: not quite fallen angel level of dark deeds but he's certainly aging into a Nicholson and not a Caravaggio Ro: If you keep discussing his visual decline I'll have no need for an escape route because I'll simply burst into loud and dramatic tears Ali: Oh God, don't Ali: He'll want to comfort you Ro: Oh Ro: I never thought of that and I hope the mental image never crosses my mind again Ali: Yeah, that's his shit, worst type Ali: as bad as the boys making you cry, that's right Kayne, I said it Ro: I don't understand why he likes me when you exist Ro: Surely you're his type, as you are the bad boys around here, as well Ro: Sorry Tess Ali: Nah, I'm not as nice as you Ali: thus not worthy of his lurve Ali: Devastated, of course Ro: You're nicer than me, as Carly can attest Ali: Only to those who deserve it Ali: He gotta know that Ro: He believes he is one of the chosen though Ali: As far as I know he's neither Jewish nor Harry Potter so Ali: not that those are MY parameters 😂 Ro: He's proud of not having read any of the Harry Potter books as far as I know Ro: And to think we could ever be together! No no Ali: 'Course he is Ali: HATING POPULAR THINGS ISN'T A PERSONALITY TRAIT, NOR IS IT INTERESTING OR ENDEARING TO PEOPLE Ali: Shouting so he can hopefully hear Ro: I would tell him but I'm so embarrassed by everything he's already spoken aloud that I can barely speak Ro: I have to get out of here Ali: Run baby run Ali: I can do a stellar Ma impression Ali: out of the realm you'd be in trouble but I can ring you with drama like Ali: FUCKING HELL, GET HOME NOW, ROCKY'S ON THE ROOF AND THE CHICKEN'S BURNING AND ALI IS NO HELP AT ALL AHH Ro: Please do Ro: I didn't expect to be asking for an invocation of your mother to get me out of trouble but I gladly shall Ro: And owe you one too Ro: I've been on and off my phone so he can't appear as if it'd be out of the blue Ro: Oh and now I'm rhyming... Ali: Find yourself in times of trouble, Mother Tessie comes to thee, speaking words of wisdom, let it be Ali: On it Ali: Scouse don't fail me now Ro: If you keep making me laugh this plan is going to fall apart Ro: If in doubt, speak angry Gaeilge, he doesn't so he'll never know what you're talking about Ali: Into it