#one day i got really interesting in the dionysia-

[bugwolfsstuff]

Since I don't think i'm gonna get to finish the Halloween fic today unless there is some divine intervention (hint hint Mousai and Apollo)

Here's half of chapter 2

Most of Chp 1 (tho currently I made some tiny edits not posted yet)

@thel1ghtningthief @smileyalater @unubinary @bodeyeen2132

Piper's pov

March 11th —Day 2. 

Breakfast was the worst. 

Not because of the food, or the waking up early. The food at Camp was actually pretty good, but because word travels fast at Camp Half-Blood. And word has definitely traveled fast since yesterday, I could feel it from the moment I walked into the dining pavilion. 

It was loud as ever, people were laughing and talking, but there was a different kind of undertone to it. I could hear some talking about Miranda. Others were watching the dryads serving food suspiciously. Like they were expecting them to jump out and start using the bread loaves as tasty swords (Gods I've been spending too much time with Leo). 

I saw Sherman Yang over at Ares picking at his food. He looked like he hadn’t slept at all. He was worried about Miranda; Everyone knew they were dating, even if Sherman was kind of a jerk he loves her. I didn’t need to be a daughter of Aphrodite to see it. He kept glancing in the direction of the Big House.  

I felt bad for him. 

“So,” Drew said the moment she sat down. Of course she chose to sit across from me. She started being nicer after I took over as counsellor but that didn’t mean we liked each other.  

“Spill it, what happened in the meeting?” She asked, fake nails tapping the wooden table impatiently like an annoying drum roll. 

I rolled my eyes, “Don't you have your ‘informants’ to gossip with you about the counsellor meetings?” 

She scoffed, “First off, they’re my friends not informants. And second off, I haven’t gotten a chance to speak to Connor or Will yet and Pollux is off camp”. 

I pinched a nerve there. I didn’t like Drew but one thing I respected her for was how quick she was to defend the people she did like. 

I sighed and buttered my toast, “Miranda got attacked”. 

“Yeah, duh!” Drew rolled her eyes so far back they almost went to the back of her head, “I was there. I heard her scream and came running with the others”. 

“You were there?” I asked, my curiosity piqued, “did you see anything?” 

Drew shook her head, “No, of course not, no one did. That’s why everyone’s so freaked out”. 

“Even Chiron is freaked out about it,” Valentina cut in. 

I learned after the quest of the seven demigods can have different powers-based off their parent’s epithet. Drew and I were of Aphrodite Areia, Aphrodite of war (though the only wars Drew’s fighting now are ship wars with Lacy), so we were more ‘warlike’ whatever that meant. Valentina however was of Aphrodite Kataskopia, Spying or Peeping Aphrodite, which meant she knew more of people’s emotions than the average Aphrodite kid.  

Especially if the person in question was trying to hide it. 

Valentina continued, leaning in close and lowering her voice like she was about to tell me a secret, “He’s trying to hide it to keep order, but it’s got him worried bad; he’s never seen something like this before,” she smirked. Her brown eyes gleamed like she was about to dish out some really interesting gossip. 

“He wishes Mr. D was here”. 

Drew laughed, “Can’t wait to tell Pollux that last part.” 

I frowned, a pit forming in my stomach. If even Chiron was worried, then this mystery monster was worse than we thought. 

While they were discussing Chiron’s possible relationship with the Camp Director. (Gods, I hate that sentence). I looked over to where Chiron was sitting. His brow was furrowed, and he had a faraway look. He was alone. Usually the camp director, the god Dionysus and that other dude, Drew’s friend, Pollux sat next to him but today they were missing, it was weirdly unsettling. Even the satyrs seemed to be keeping away. 

“Where is Mr. D?” I asked, turning back to my siblings. 

“Hmm? Oh, gone, left a few days ago. Dionysia started yesterday so he won't be back until next week.” Valentina replied. 

“What’s Dionysia?” 

“A festival of his; I don’t really know. Pollux goes with him every year” Drew said, sighing, “They won't tell me about it, but they seem pretty happy when they get back”. 

“Aww do you miss your bestie, Drew?” Valentina teased, “You sure they’re not just happy that they’re free from being stuck with their dad?” 

Drew chuckled, “I do and nah, Polly’s a daddy’s boy.” 

And that was the end of that conversation. 

I ended up pouring most of my food in the fire. My appetite was gone and not just because of Valentina and Drew’s gossiping. Maybe mom could take the initiative and send me a little bit luck as a thank you (hint hint, mom). As soon as breakfast wrapped up, I got Jason and went to the edge of the campgrounds, where the forest began. 

[magicaemaxima]

Dionysia was annoyed at all of this, but she did at least appreciate the words of encouragement from Karolina, even if they were paired with an agitating reminder of what not to do.

People attached a mic to her blouse, sent her on stage, and Dionysia readied herself. She plastered a smile on her face in hopes of looking less annoyed, as she had been coached into doing. She was at least going to try doing this Karolina's way. The interview started, and Dionysia felt it was going well so far.

"So what do you attribute to your success?" the show host asked her.

"Tech just seemed like the way to go really, so I bought tech companies." Dionysia answered. "Not all at once, obviously. I'd buy one, let the money collect for a while, buy another, let the money from that collect for a while, lather, rinse, repeat really. Sort of like playing real life Monopoly." she chuckled.

"And you're self made. In fact, you're one of the richest self made billionaires in the world. Is it true that you're actually an orphan?"

"Yes." Dionysia spoke with a nod. "My parents died when I was extremely young, and I was sort of bounced around family member to family member. Struck out on my own as soon as I was eighteen." It was half true. It was a modern, mortal version of the events of her life. She couldn't exactly say that her parents found out that she and her sisters were witches, wanted to be rid of them, and Dionysia and another one of her sisters used their magic to turn them into animals.

"And your first business was a small business, right?"

"Yes, a coffee shop." Dionysia answered.

"How did you get the money for that?"

"I took out a very risky loan." Dionysia spoke with a chuckle. "And took out a bunch of credit cards. I would've been absolutely ruined if the risk hadn't paid off but thankfully it did. I let the coffee shop money collect for a while, paid off the loan, let the money to continue to collect, paid off the credit cards, and then from there I continued to make investments."

"That's amazing. You know, you're probably such an aspiration to young girls who want to go into business, who want to be CEOs some day like you." he told her.

"I would be flattered if that's true, but I kind of hope it isn't." Dionysia admitted with a chuckle. "I had the advantage of starting this when I was very young, and I basically just didn't afford myself anything for a while. So I actually wouldn't recommend others taking the route I took or aspiring to be like me."

"You wouldn't?" he asked with a small laugh. "I mean, it sounds like it was very successful for you."

"I got lucky, honestly." Dionysia spoke, which was her way of saying that she had magic to help her every step of the way, and she knew humans didn't. "I know a lot of other billionaires will say things like "just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and you can be like me" and "just invest your money smartly and you'll be rich" all that bullshit-- oop, sorry. I'm trying to cut back on the swearing." she laughed softly, and the interviewer, as well as some of the audience, laughed with her. "Old habits die hard. But anyway, I don't think that's true. I think I really got into a lot of situations where I was in the right place at the right time, I got extremely lucky. I am self made but just because I didn't have rich family members helping me, I still had some advantages that not everyone has; I had time, an early start, I didn't have children or any other responsibilities or people who relied on me, and plenty of other advantages like that, and I took crazy risks that I wouldn't recommend other people take, because those risks can be extremely detrimental if they don't work out. So I just think it would be irresponsible of me if I told others "just do what I did and you'll end up like me"."

"That's definitely an interesting take. And a very modest one."

"Oh please, I'm far from modest." Dionysia admitted with a smirk. "Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm the most prideful bitch they know. I'm just realistic. Fuck, I cursed again, didn't I? Sorry."

More laughter, Dionysia chuckling as well.

"It's fine, we'll just censor it." the interviewer assured her, smiling.

karolina snapped back into her element. there was zero signs of a flawed chip on her exterior from that previous rattled scene. there was a brief disconnect with dionysia. karolina had extended her hand to a group of faces. painted in pleasantries. apologies for lateness, with an excuse that wouldn't stick to dionysia's image. blame was placed elsewhere. buttoning up the situation, karolina turned her attention back to the taller woman.

" it'll be quick. just remember the run through. stay away from profanities." karolina revealed a small grin. it wasn't that she wanted to be a buzzkill to the situations at hand. it was all for the greater good. after all of the coaching karolina had tired her boss with, she trusted dionysia. " i'll be watching from the monitors. you're going to be great." encouragement sealed from her lips.

[prommytheus]

What's your weird piece of media that you keep re-consuming over and over again. And I don't mean that the media itself is bizarre or bad. I mean that that if you told someone you'd seen/read/played it in its entirety even once, they'd ask what the hell you're made of. mine is The fucking Bacchae

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros: The Return of an Old Enemy"

Chapter 8: A Sour Deal

After a full day of preparation, training and anything that shouldn't take less than 24 hours to do, the "Dionysian Games" were ready as soon as the sun rose. Which is when Apollo discovered, his brother was at it again.

Apollo rode his chariot arcross the sky, toting the sun along for the day to begin. To him it was just part of his daily schedule, as he glanced over, looking down on Delphi. "Wait a minute....isn't it early in the year for the games to start?", the thought stewed in his head for only a few seconds when it suddenly dawned on him the Olypmic games, in deed DID NOT, take place in Delphi. He looked down and was shocked to see that Dionysus broke his promise, "as soon as I'm done with the sun, I'm going to give Dionysus the dressing down of the millennia!", he angrily told himself.

Back in Delphi, the Delphians were preparing for the games. The teams have been set up into 5 large groups, in Delphian fashion, no can tell which team is which. Being a mock-Olympics game, there was nothing to worry about representing a country or anything, so it was just harmless fun. There was no prizes outside of bragging rights.

Meanwhile, Dionysus attempts to get a hold of Ares for the joust. Communication between the gods was always complicated considering that the gods communicate better humans than they do themselves. In Dionysus's case, the best way to get in touch with Ares...was to get him to come to you via the most complex ritual involving two of his favorite things: Aphrodite and dogs. He knows for the best results, he had to do the ritual in private.

Dionysus prepares the ritual at an effigy made to resemble Ares he had created the night before. As it turns out he woke up in morning remembering that he hadn't even talked to Ares about the joust. Using a small puppy he borrowed from one of the farmers and a plate of extra rare steaks, lights some candles and places a sensual picture of Aphrodite. ".....Come on Ares. Come out.", Dionysus spoke to the effigy, he waited a few seconds for anything to happen but nothing did. "Oooookie dokie, I'm just going to "enjoy" myself with this really sexy picture of Aphrodite", Dionysus taunted the effigy hoping it would get his attention. He takes the picture of Aphrodite and slowly hovers it near his groan, as he was about to even let the picture touch, the loud thunderous sound of an explosion echos outside of his winery shed. "Aaaaaand just in time." he grinned from ear to ear, now with the star of his joust just outside his door, he could finally get the event going. He walks to the door, opens it and sees Ares nearly towering over him with the biggest frown he's given so far.

Ares quickly gabbed the photo from Dionysus. "Ok you fat fuck what do you want?" He growled. He looked behind Dionysus to see the crudly made effigy, pushed him aside to at least eat some steak and make sure the dog was ok.

Dionysus didn't expect much from Ares outside of agreeing to joust. "So buddy, ugh I was wondering....you don't having any plans this afternoon do you?" Dionysus nonchalantly asked. He turned to see Ares chewing on the steak with his bear hands while sharing his steak with the puppy. "I know you're ugh.... busy man....but I know you're going to.love this." He continued.

Ares wasn't much for Dionysus's brand of fun unless it resulted in copious amounts of bloodshed. In fact, most of the time when he would come to Dionysus, it was mostly to get wine or get drunk before certain battles. He was skeptical, but than again there really wasn't any current wars he could participate. It had seemed the entire country was focused on other matters, so indeed he was very much bored. "Wut is it?" He spoke with a full mouth.

Dionysus grinned, "well... would you like to joust with me? For my little 'games'? I mean, I know it isn't much....buuuuuut the people will love it."

Ares was interested but not convinced yet. A joust wasn't going to satisfy him enough, there had to be more to it. "Ok....what's in it-", he swallows his mouthful of steak,"- for me?", He asked as took another bite of meat, giving a little piece to the puppy again.

Scratching his head at what could Ares possibly want, "well...I know that if I win...I just win. After all, the audience likes it when the local god wins right?", Dionysus bargained. "I mean, it's not much but that all depends on what you want, big guy.", he knew Ares wouldn't be creative enough to want something outside of anything material or in some cases bragging rights.

Ares paused to think of the best way to painful screw Dionysus over. He thought of how Dionysus prided himself for his wine, but what was a god of wine going to do with wine. He remembered Dionysus's love for his big cats, he could always get Dionysus to kill his precious leopards, but no....he wants something far more precious. "How about this...." he lightly scratched the puppy behind it's ears, "...if I win, I get to be the local god and keep Delphi, you stand down...aaaaaand I fuck your wife.", he said through a menacing smile.

The mischievous grin that Dionysus sported had died into a panicked look, "wait wait hold on man, this is for fun." he responded hastily. Never would he have expected Ares to actually name such conditions. "Seriously, you can't just take my town and my wife if you win, that's....just fucked up....plus NO, I refuse to agree to those terms.....", Dionysus was flustered, what started out as an innocent challenge between brother quickly escalated into something a little more mean spirited.

Ares stood there looking at Dionysus, mildly disappointed that he wouldn't agree to what he believed was completely reasonable terms, "ok whatever drama queen, than I'm leaving.", he walked out of the shed. "Fucking wasting my time with your little circus act and shit. I mean I thought you liked having fun, whatever I guess you're too much of a pussy." he continued.

As much as the ownership of Delphi, the safety of the residents and his wife's honor was at stake, he couldn't just let Ares walk out from the joust. He didn't care about why or what Ares thought of him in the second, he was already too deep into the situation given not only he was not allowed to sleep in his own bed until after the Dionysia, but he disappointed Ariadne with his stubborn attitude. "Hold on, ok if you're going to play "Mr.Edgelord", than if I win......I become the new god of war aaaaaand...you have to wear a dress....for an hour and I will NEVER let anyone forget that", unlike the rest of the brothers, Ares was too prideful of his masculinity to ever wear a dress and the idea of his title as "The God of War" would also be a stake. This was too juicy of a bet. Dionysus's whole world was either going to include the chaotic attributes of war....or he was going to lose everything.

In mid-step, Ares turned around, his button has definitely been pushed, but the challenge was too irresistible. "Now you're talking fun.". He walked up to Dionysus, took his arm and gave it a sportsmen's shake. "Fine, I'll join your little circus. When...and where?", he stared down Dionysus hoping to throw him off even before the joust.

Dionysus wasn't really sure what Ares was doing and why was he staring at him for so long, but now he had to put up some effort in the joust, perfect for a performance. "Ha, you're on...just ugh go over there in the meantime...chill...I don't know it will be hours before we do it.", he informed. He pointed at tent in a field that was overlooked by the winery shed, it was prepared for the participants of the games, which was loaded with all the essentials any Dionysian needed.

Glaring at the overly lavished tent on the field, then his glance glazes over the rest of the field, it really was a bit like a circus. Ares takes a deep breath, rethinking if it would be worth winning given he will have to wait for a few hours before the joust, than be remembers he gets to turn this land into a training ground for an army fit for a king. "Ok.....do...you have anything I can do?", he asked.

He looked at Ares and said in a serious tone, "if you're planning on lifting bro, you're shit out of luck....you can....drink, you can.....fuck.....you can......eat.....you can take naps.....some of the folks are doing improv....I mean THATS something you do....I don't know. Just....relax or something.", Dionysus knew nothing worsened Ares's mood then a lack of exercise and anything he liked. "Aaaalso there is only wine.", he added. If Ares was going to be serious about his wager, he needed to insure that Ares was going to lose.

"Dude...that's ..... fucking lame.....I'm just going to take laps, can't wait to fuck your wife.", Ares left without saying another word. Dionysus was a bit floored, but the day was young and there was plenty of time to make sure he would win the joust. He was about to run to find some of his more "violent" maenads when he heard someone shout his name from the field.

"DIONYSUS YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FUCKING BELIEVE THIS!", it was Hermes, he ran through the field, up the hill passing Ares (who apparently didn't even notice him) and right up to Dionysus. "Ok holyshit you're never going to guess what me and Artemis found a few days ago! I was going to tell you about it but I had to find dad and I can't find him than I had to run around Greece looking for him an-" he felt Dionysus placing his hand on his head in attempts to calm him down.

Dionysus unfortunately wasn't in the mood to hear Hermes, but he was in the mood to ask him for help. "Hermes.......I've made a horrible miscalculation.", he told him, looking at Ares angrily uses a log to do bench presses. ".....I got what I wanted...but my....fucking self....I am in quite a pickle.".

Hermes was still processing all he has been doing the past four days, but somehow he had to know what happened. ".....what....are you talking about?", he calmly asked. He looked at the field, than looked at Ares, than he looked at Dionysus. "Why is there a circus in front of your house?", he can see Dionysus's face.

Taking a deep breath, "Hermes do you remember that time I joked about the idea of me and Ares.... jousting or something?", Dionysus asked.

"ugh....yes I think.", Hermes was now starting to worry if there is something even worse than semi-immortal wolf people. "But seriously man there's some weird fucked up things happening.", he continued.

Dionysus chuckled a little, "well....I hope you're ok with cheating. I really need your help.", he looked at Hermes in hopes he knows he serious. Hermes however, whom just arrived, is getting a terrible feeling there will be hijinks.

End of Chp8

[clayray3290]

Clayray Closeout 2018

Another momentous year has passed, and I am feeling reflective about my tastes and my year, so once again, clayray is closing out the year. Usually I don’t do this, but this year, I traveled a lot, like A LOT a lot, and I made the move across the country to LA, so before I reflect on my media consumption, here is a list of all the places I went to this year:

January - Baltimore for a baby shower February - San Francisco Sonoma for a wine tasting trip with college friends March - New York City to see musicals April - Las Vegas for PBS TechCon Two days after getting back - Sarasota for Roadshow Less then a week after - Tulsa for Roadshow May - San Francisco for CAAMFest Louisville for Roadshow Literally the day after - LA San Diego for Roadshow June - Detroit for Roadshow Toronto with mom Montreal to see Sarah July - Charlotte to meet up with Colleen and Katy Smoky Mountains for a bridal shower New Hampshire for a wedding September - Moved to LA! October - San Francisco for a wedding Boston Newport for a wedding November - Florida for Thanksgiving

Whew! As you can see, August and December were the only months that I didn’t travel, and that was because August was spent preparing for my big move and in December, my family came to me. What with layovers, I was on 33 flights plus 5 significant buses plus several “road trips” with friends/family, too. And some of these trips were so back-to-back that I barely spent any time sleeping in my own bed!

Now, I’m still in a weird period of transition, but soon enough, I will develop a routine and establish a place here. I moved across the country with no job, no apartment, and very few friends, and it was a humongous change to make. But as scary and hard as it can be, I think I have enough faith in myself that it will all work out and I will be okay. And with that, I’m looking forward to 2019!

But meanwhile, continuing to look back:

Music - Artists

La Luz

Joywave

Jesse McCartney

Younha

Saint Motel

30 Seconds to Mars

Betty Who

The Aces

BTS

Infinite

As always, artists that I saw live are a huge presence in this list: La Luz, Saint Motel, 30 Seconds to Mars, and Betty Who, and technically I was walking up to the venue when Joywave was playing (which I am still bitter about, for the record.) Other artists I saw live this year: MisterWives and Walk the Moon opening for 30 Seconds to Mars, Tamia, Duckwrth and Buyepongo at the Made in LA Festival literally my second day in LA, Gymshorts opening for La Luz, Vincent Vallières and Brigitte Boisjoli and Martha Wainwright and Michel Rivard and Klô Pelgag at the Fete in Montreal, Bleachers, Sara Bareilles at MisCast, Dionysia and Bazmati Vice, Gryffin, and I guess technically I saw Pregnant Boy.

I have been in love with Jesse McCartney since I was 11 and he released new music this year, which I adored (which you will soon see in the Top Tracks), so of course he’s that high up. Similarly, Younha released an excellent album this year and I’ve always loved her. I actually didn’t find Infinite’s album particularly thrilling, but I guess I liked it well enough that I wouldn’t skip their songs whenever they came up.

I had actually listened to The Aces before, but this year was when I really got into them. Their album is stellar and I love their sound and their look!

And as for BTS, my mom’s actually a huge fan and there was no escaping their immense worldwide popularity. I remember when they debuted! It’s great to see how they have grown to be the K-Pop group that has “made it” to the States.

This is the first time in a long time that my all-time favorites like Secret and McFly haven’t been in the top. Secret’s disbandment really hurt, even though we all saw it coming, and I’m still not over it.

Odesza didn’t make it up to the very top, but I also listened to them a lot with my boyfriend. :)

Music - Albums

Younha - RescuE

The Aces - When My Heart Felt Volcanic

Infinite - TOP SEED

Hamilton OBCR

Alexz Johnson - A Stranger Time

Dan Masterson - When Reality Calls

La Luz - Floating Features

Janelle Monáe - Dirty Computer

Eric Nam - Honestly

Anastasia OBCR

Unsurprisingly, my top artists are showing up in the top albums. I was surprised to see that the Hamilton OBCR was so high, but then I remembered that I featured it heavily in my 4th of July playlist that I played during my party. I’ve been fond of Alexz Johnson since Instant Star, even though I didn’t actually watch the show, and my friend Schuyler and I had a bit of a phase reminiscing about that era of “teen show” singers like her and also Drake Bell.

Dan Masterson is, full disclosure, a friend of mine from college, but his album is really excellent, and you should check it out if you’re interested in piano-based singer-songwriter tunes!

What is there to say about Janelle Monáe except that she is a beacon of brilliance, and we are lucky just to be able to witness it.

The other musical on this list is Anastasia, which is one of the musicals I saw this year. I saw it on Derek Klena’s last evening performance, which is actually one of two times that I saw him. I also saw him in Jagged Little Pill at the A.R.T (he is not the best part of that show, though, Lauren Patten’s “You Oughta Know” is hands down unequivocally the showstopper). The other musicals I saw this year were Allegiance, Hello! Dolly, and I saw the Genies’ Jukebox. Not a musical, but I also saw the off-Broadway show Puffs, which was hysterical.

I’m not sure why I didn’t pay attention as much, but Death Cab’s album this year is pretty great. I didn’t love the Arctic Monkeys’ album as much as I wanted to, though they actually just missed being in my Top Artists by 10 listens. Robyn’s album this year was also pretty stellar, but it was released pretty late in the year.

Movies

As always, subjective ranking and not numbers-based.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor? Okay, biased, what with my children’s media thing and PBS thing. Tbh I don’t even like documentaries that much, but this one. I wept. And we really needed this film right now.

Blindspotting I saw this at the Independent Film Festival Boston, with a Q&A with Daveed Diggs and Rafael Casal afterwards, and just wow. This is an incredible tour de force. Brilliantly crafted and visceral and hilarious, too. I know a bunch of people were drawn to it because of Daveed Diggs and his Hamilton fame, but genuinely, he and Rafael Casal’s passion for this film and overwhelming talent shine through in this.

Searching Look, I love love loved Crazy Rich Asians and Asian August and Asian-American women bringing back the rom com. As an Asian-American woman, I have been waiting for so long for this to happen. But I picked Searching because as a film, Searching takes the screen footage tactic, heretofore only really used in horror films, and capitalizes on it to such amazing dramatic and emotional effect. John Cho is fantastic, of course in this very tense and very stressful film.

Black Panther I cannot believe it hasn’t even been a year since Black Panther. Can we start using the term BBP and ABP for Before and After Black Panther? I saw somewhere that Letitia Wright is the biggest box office star of the year, which is fabulous because she is fabulous (and a Disney princess!). The world-building is amazing, the action is amazing, the eye candy is amazing (Helloooooo Michael B. Jordan and Chadwick Boseman and Danai Gurira and Lupita Nyong’o and...you get the point).

Ralph Breaks the Internet I spent a lot of this film marveling at how only Disney could have pulled this off, this massive ambitious bringing together of so many brands and characters and, y’know, the internet. I also enjoy that this is not a romantic love story, and it is a story about love in other ways. Loving your friends and caring for them and respecting them is so important, and dealing with insecurity is as well. This is such a smart movie, and as somebody who cares about children’s media, that is the standard to which we should aspire.

Honorable Mentions: A Quiet Place (Though of the horror films this year, Hereditary and Annihilation were also very good), Madeline’s Madeline for Helena Howard’s performance, I Tonya because um duh figure skating but does not make the list because trying to pass off Margot Robbie as teenage was laughable, Three Identical Strangers

Movies I Want to See But Haven’t Yet: Eighth Grade, Sorry to Bother You, Support the Girls, Widows, Creed II, The Hate U Give, Halloween, Burning, RBG, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Dumplin’ (My roomie’s in it!)

Movies I Should See But Haven’t Brought Myself To Care About: A Star is Born, Mission Impossible: Fallout, Mary Poppins Returns, Green Book, Love Simon, Paddington 2

2020.12.02 EDIT: I was wrong about Paddington 2. It is an incredible film.

Television

Sharp Objects I’ve read the book (and own it somewhere...) but it had been a while, so Sharp Objects did what a good mystery does - even upon a revisit, the things you don’t remember are tantalizing and the discovery of new clues and revelations keep shifting your perspective and giving it a jolt each time. Amy Adams is phenomenal in this (as she always is) and Eliza Scanlen as Amma gives a piercing performance in this.

Queer Eye All of the remakes happening incessantly is tiring and also eyeroll-inducing (it’s cliche but honestly, where are the original ideas nowadays?), but then we get something like Queer Eye. Reality TV gets a hard rap, but with Queer Eye, you get the entertainment factor and also incredibly moving emotional heft as well. Also, I genuinely wonder at how Bobby gets all that house remodeling done and he doesn’t get enough credit for it!

The Haunting of Hill House I love the Shirley Jackson story and also the original movie (I have not watched the 90′s movie and I don’t think I ever will), so my only real gripe with this show is that I wish they didn’t call it The Haunting of Hill House because it really isn’t. But what it is, is a brilliant family drama launching off of the Hill House story. It is captivating and beautiful and spooky, and also the casting of the young kids is impeccable.

Nailed It! Sometimes you just need to guffaw over people’s ridiculous failures. This show doesn’t take itself too seriously and because it embraces the silly, it’s full of heart and joy.

Élite I love foreign teen dramas. I love murder...in my television/movies. Of course I was gonna love this show. But just because it has these two elements doesn’t mean that I automatically was going to think it’s a great show (It does probably mean I would automatically enjoy it, but that’s different). Both of these genres are rife with tropes, but this show takes them and executes them in such a way that it rings true and doesn’t distract from your enjoyment.

Honorable Mention: Memories of the Alhambra only because it’s still ongoing! It’s a brilliant way of looking at technology and combining it with all the elements of a K-drama that you could want. It’s kinda like if a good episode of Black Mirror (because goodness knows that quality varies) combined with a K-drama.

Also of mention are some excellent series that continued this year. I can’t believe I didn’t watch them when they first came out, but The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and Big Mouth are both so so good. Though I have strong feelings about the second season of Maisel and think the Paris bit was just an awkward flex and should have been cut, and the Catskills could have been an entire series of its own. Also, I actually saw Nick Kroll do some readings of all the characters in Big Mouth at the Vulture Festival this year!

In addition to the show-watches-from-the-beginning that I am still working through (Parks and Rec, The Wire, Gilmore Girls, Mad Men, etc.) I’ve also started watching Ugly Betty and Strong Woman Do Bong Soon from the beginning.

There are a few new shows from this year that I really have been wanting to watch but haven’t yet: Killing Eve, Kidding, Homecoming. Mostly Killing Eve for Queen Sandra Oh and also the girl from MMFD!

Okay, whew! That’s enough of that. Where do I even find the time to watch all this stuff??

[theathenianinspector]

Believe it or not, the namesake of this blog was inspired by a comic character in Aristophanes’ Birds. So to celebrate the first anniversary of the Athenian Inspector, let’s break down who this character was and whence he came.

  The background of the Athenian inspector is the Delian League/Athenian Empire that dominated the Greek states dotted in and around the Aegean Sea from 478-404 BCE. Historians usually differentiate between the two on the grounds that the Delian League was a military alliance to exact retribution against the Persian Empire for the destruction they had suffered from their second invasion. Various states in Thrace (modern-day Bulgaria) and Ionia (modern-day Turkey) voluntarily placed themselves under Athenian leadership on account of the disliking the Spartans for their unwillingness to take the fight to Persia and the increasingly tyrannical behaviour of the Spartan regent Pausanias. (Thucydides 1.95-96)

Athenian Empire 431 BCE

Member states that joined had initially contributed both money and ships for the Athenian war fleet which waged war in the Eastern Mediterranean as far as Cyprus and Egypt. The money was paid in tribute (phoros) to the league’s treasury on the sacred island of Delos, with each state’s capacity to pay being assessed by an inspector (episkopos), who had been chosen randomly by lot amongst the Athenian citizenry, to decide how much they should contribute each year. The first tribute assessment was performed by an Athenian statesman called Aristides the Just, famed for his fairness and incorruptibility. (Plutarch, Aristides 24.1-2) Thus, Aristides became the first Athenian inspector who judged all the allies in total to have been able to pay 460 talents (the equivalent of £4,520,880). (Plutarch, Aristides 24.3, Thucydides 1.96) which sounds like a lot, however the average amount of silver each state paid to Athens was closer to 1-2 talents (£9,000-£18,000 approx.), which for context is the cost of 1-2 years of university in the UK. What that says of the price of British higher education or Aristides’ generosity is up for you to decide. Eventually tribute paying became the norm for every ally with the exceptions of Chios, Lesbos and Samos whose respective military and economic prestige exempted them from taxation. (Plutarch, Cimon 11, Thucydides 3.10-11)

  Aristides the Just (left), Ostrakon bearing his name (right)

Thus, each of Athens’ allies paid an annual amount of tribute to ensure the fleet remained operational in the Aegean against Persia at first, but then against Sparta with the outbreak of the Peloponnesian War (431 BCE), Athenian triremes also patrolled the sea for pirates. The burden of taxation also rose as the conflict escalated, but it struggled to sufficiently fund the war effort, particularly when they were required to pay for sieges such as at Mytilene (428-7 BCE) and Syracuse (415-13 BCE). (Thucydides 3.19, 7.28-29) Tribute became an integral part of the diplomatic and political culture of the Athenian Empire, with tribute lists and assessments, recording 1/60th of the money dedicated to Athena, being erected as monumental receipts and legal documents as well as part of the annual festival known as the City Dionysia. During the festivities, the money would have been brought out and displayed, along with complimentary suits of armour gifted by each of the allies, in the theatre of Dionysus for all Athenian citizens and allied guests to witness before a great feast and drunken revelry ensued.

Tribute List fragment noting the taxes collected from the Hellespontine region.

Pisthetaerus: An inspector! and who sends you here, you rascal?

Inspector: A decree of Teleas.

Pisthetaerus: Will you just pocket your salary, do nothing, and get out?

Inspector: Indeed I will; I am urgently needed to be at Athens to attend the Assembly; for I am charged with the interests of Pharnaces.

Pisthetaerus: Take it then and get on your way. This is your salary. He beats him.  Aristophanes Birds 1024-1029.

  It is now that all the character of the Inspector arrives in Aristophanes’ Birds, first shown in 414 BCE. The premise of the comedy is that a fellow named Pisthetaerus with his friend Euelpides attempts to escape the ceaseless litigation of his judicious Athenian countrymen by founding a city of birds named  Nubicuculia, aka. ‘Cloud-Cuckoo-Land’, with limited success as unwanted visitors keep appearing. These guests included a priest, poet, oracle-monger, informer and an inspector (episkopos). The inspector is present to decide how much tribute Nubicuclia can send to Athens, but of course he is totally corrupt and gets bribed by Pisthetaerus to pocket the bribe and do nothing. His grounds for doing this? The inspector has more important shit to do back at home. He departs, not without getting a good kicking from our protagonist on the way out.

Representation of a scene from Birds

Various interpretations have tried to decipher some meaning or allegory from Birds, however rule one of old comedy is that nothing is serious; the joke Aristophanes is attempting to land is that Athenian magistrates sent out into the empire really can’t be asked to do their jobs and allies don’t like the tax man. A sentiment that has echoed since the dawn of organised societies and economies: people don’t like paying taxes and tax-men don’t enjoy collecting them. Just type in ‘funny IRS stories’ and you’ll see it even today. All in all, I simply chose the name ‘Athenian Inspector’ because it sounds serious and intellectual but is actually referencing a guy who got slapped off the stage in 414 BCE.

  Dan Tang

The Athenian Inspector  

  If you want to learn about the Romans, check out: https://romanimperium.wordpress.com/

Who was the Athenian Inspector? Believe it or not, the namesake of this blog was inspired by a comic character in Aristophanes’ …