#once it gets into algebra idk why it's needed

[puppys-rhythm-heaven]

the fact that neurotypicals exist will always be baffling to me honestly like. they can just focus without struggling??? n don't think constantly??? n don't hyperfixate on things??? sounds fake-

[blackch-rry]

The Summer of ‘89 (IT au) (Teaser)

Pairing: Sunghoon x reader, Heeseung x reader, Enhypen x reader

Synopsis: Derry, Maine, and all its residents thought the disappearance of a high school student was the first and last tragedy to occur in a long time, but once summer started in 1989 a terrifying nightmare had just begun. You had just moved to the small town a year prior; no friends and certainly no love life, but just after graduating high school you find yourself suddenly having a lot in common with a group of seven boys.

Warnings/Genre: Inspired by Stephen King’s IT, (the movies mostly), not really canon idk, horror, gore, angst, romance, more to come each update.

A/N: hi! I love horror and IT, so I thought it was time to finally write something about it. If you don’t like horror, my attempt at least, gore, and all that stuff, then this is not for you. I’m hoping the end of this series or near the end will come out near Halloween because that’s just perfect. So please be patient with updates! Enjoy this teaser :)

***

Fall 1988

Three teenage girls rode aimlessly down the street in their quaint town of Derry. Senior Year had started for all of them and as a last-ditch effort to cling onto summer, the group of friends hopped onto their bikes. One last late-night ride before the crisp autumn air took over. 

After an hour of aimless riding and chatting, the three had bright smiles as the wind wrapped around their hair as they sped up a slope in the road, that eventually died down when the trio came to a slow glide side by side. 

One of the girls, Chaewon, quickly smoothed down the back of her hair. She had a mischievous thought and voiced, “Hey, Kazuha…” 

Once she got her friend’s attention she continued, “Are you finally gonna find the courage this year?”

The last girl, Yunjin, laughed loudly, immediately knowing what her friend was getting at, but poor Kazuha was lost. 

“Huh? Courage to do what?”

“Oh come on,” Yunjin started, “It’s our last year of high school! You’ve had that crush on Jay since freshman year! You need to do something about it before we graduate.”

 

Kazuha let out a shriek of embarrassment, “No way! I can’t do that!”

Chaewon quickened her pedaling so she could get ahead and come back around to circle her best friends.

She said, “And why not? He hasn’t dated anyone for two years and when he was it broke you, remember that? The least you could do is confess and then he can take you to prom! Your dream!”

“The least? I can’t even ask my teachers to go to the bathroom during class. I can’t just go up to him and tell him I like him!”

The two giggled at their friend’s worrying. Chaewon stopped circling and joined the line, “Ok fine, you don’t have to freak him out by straight out confessing, but I think you really should talk to him at least. I just hate seeing you so down in the dumps, staring at him all day.” 

“I don’t stare…that much.” 

“Sure,” Yunjin said with a smile, “Hey, my house is right around the corner. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

The girls said their goodbyes as Yunjin took off. Kazuha knew Chaewon was about to head off since her house was close by as well, but before she did, she said, “Zuha, I’m serious. I know you’re scared about talking to a guy you like first, but we just want to see you happy. You know that right?” 

“Of course, I do… and yeah I guess you guys are some-what right. I should just go up to him after algebra and ask him out. Plain and simple…and it would ruin me again if he took another girl to prom.” 

Chaewon smiled, “There you go! Plain and simple. And if he doesn’t say yes, which he won’t do, it’ll be alright. You have us to cry on and eat ice cream with.”

“Gee, thanks.” 

Chaewon laughed before her house came into view, “Alright! See you later!” 

Kazuha let out a small goodbye before it was just her, alone, riding down the dimly lit street. Two minutes passed before she made a turn that would lead her home. One more block of easy riding and late-night breezes sending chills down her body, until something on the road up ahead caught her stare. 

She’s not really the type to stop for things out of her way, but something about it poked at her curiosity. Coming to a slow stop, she saw what it was in its entirety. 

A gasp left her lips. On the side of the cracked pavement laid a bloody cat. She hopped off her bike and let it fall to the ground. Kneeling so she could get a better look, a wave of disgust hit. The closer she got she could see the terrible state the cat was in. It was on its side; dark crimson blood stained the fur surrounding its stomach…where a whole chunk was missing.

Kazuha didn’t have a clue as to what could do this. For a second, she thought another animal attacked it, but the edges around the wound couldn’t have been bite marks from an animal, not around here. And the part bitten off was way too big. 

She had to look away when more blood and parts of the remaining organs spewed out. With a hand covering her mouth, she took a deep inhale to rest her stomach. A second later, she turned back towards the poor cat, but something beyond her by the side of a house made her pause. 

The backyard of the house she kneeled before was not well lit, but she saw more red. 

A…balloon?

With a surge of fear and uncertainty, she got up from the ground. The dying cat was far from her mind when she saw it clearer. A single red balloon stayed floating next to the house. Her steps backward were slow and quiet. How could this be possible? Shouldn’t it be floating into the sky?

As if the object could hear her thoughts, the red balloon started ascending. Her eyes stayed glued to it, watching and watching until the bright color was consumed with the blackness of the night sky. She stayed staring at the distant sky as she continued to back away until the heel of her shoe hit her bike. The sound and abruptness of the impact brought her back out of her daze. She quickly snapped her head back to the ground and the fear she had grew. The cat was gone. 

She couldn’t believe it. Any of this. Was she going insane? First the mangled cat and now a floating balloon? Maybe she was hallucinating. Yes, that was it she concluded. She must be sleep deprived because everything was becoming nonsense.

With a sigh, she touched her forehead trying to calm her racing thoughts and nerves. A gust of wind rushed by her, and she startled. God, it must be so late by now. My parents will be so mad…

Kazuha stared at the empty spot on the pavement, wondering again what that was, before turning around to grab her bike. 

A second more and she would have been on her bike.

A minute more and she would be rounding up on her house. Home.

But the second she turned around her head was being swallowed whole.

***

Spring 1989.

“That time of the month, yeah?” 

Looking bored, you give a half assed smile, “You always know what to say to a girl don’t you, Jeno?” 

He leaned over the counter between you, hands placed on the edge, “Well, you can come back to mine and I’ll say a lot nicer-”

“Just ring up my damn tampons.” 

His charming façade wiped away, he stood back upright and lazily scanned the box. 

“A dollar fifty.” 

You gave him the money, took the bag, and said, “That wasn’t so hard. I mean you’re a cashier at a shitty drug store. I think you might need some more training on how to click a few buttons.” 

You left before you could hear the rest of his angry rambling. 

With the ringing of the store’s bell, you’re outside. The sudden uproar of summer was evident and it wasn’t even June yet. The sudden heat had you craving a cigarette. You walked until the nearest alley to reach into the back pocket of your jean shorts. You pulled out a cigarette from its box and placed it in between your lips before reaching back around for your trusty lighter. Once lighting and taking a deep inhale, you watched the smoke billow out in front of you. When it cleared you were met with a face. 

Taped to the brick wall before you is a poster of that girl who went missing at the beginning of the school year. 

Kazuha.

Staring at her black and white photo and her parent’s information made you slightly uncomfortable. No, you were never friends with her personally, but she always smiled at you in the halls. 

You moved to Derry at the end of Junior year and making friends was never your forte, but it never hurt to see a smile directed at you, even if a stranger. 

You remember that day at school like a haunting nightmare. The somber voice of the principal over the speakers announcing her disappearance. You knew who was in Kazuha’s close group of friends and the chilling cry from Huh Yunjin sitting two rows in front of you still gives you goosebumps whenever you replay that moment. She had to be escorted out of the room by the teacher. 

Suddenly, smoking your cigarette in front of her missing poster feels disrespectful. You don’t put it out, instead you make your way back to the busy sidewalk. As you go about, you ponder over it all. 

Her weird absence from everything, the sight of her parents sometimes idling outside the high school wishing she’d magically burst out the doors after a long day at school, the way the halls got quieter the first two months after, and the rumors. 

The police never brought up too many details about her case on the news. It’s a fact that the police found her abandoned bike but nothing else, yet somehow gossip started to spread amongst your classmates. Some said they found her bloody shoe. Others said she was abducted by aliens. (That one you find incredibly hard to believe). 

No one said it out loud, but everyone has a feeling she’s dead. It’s been about seven months since then and she hasn’t been found. Never a good sign. The cloudy gloom her disappearance brought upon the town has finally subdued with the beginning of summer. 

Everyone has moved on besides her family and close friends, but seeing her face around every turn and corner makes it hard for you to forget. The whole thing really. 

You’re quickly brought out of your thoughts when you see a group of seven boys zoom past you on their bikes. While getting the last you can out of your fix, you keep your gaze on their backs. One of them stands on the pedals and shouts, “Fuck you high school! We’re free at last!” 

You hear the rest of them holler in agreement, but all it does is give you a headache. 

You forgot graduation is tomorrow.

You stomp the cigarette out in annoyance. 

[mthevlamister]

OKAY SO IM DOING A BIG POST

Background information you will need for my rambling:

Conjecture: a statement that is always true, but needs a proof.

Relatively prime: two (or more) integers that share no common factor besides 1. So, for example, 8 (4x2, or 2^3) and 9 (3x3), are relatively prime.

When you prove something in mathematics, people gather to try to disprove. It’s common in most STEM fields that people need to try to disprove it before accepting it, because you’re working with nature here. Can’t allow a proof that doesn’t apply.

The abc conjecture is seemingly simple. Really. Three positive integers (a, b, and c) are relatively prime. These three integers will satisfy a+b=c.

That sounds so fucking simple. Like, looking at that, it’s so tiny. Let’s look at my above example: 8+9=17. Wow! All relatively prime! All positive integers!! But wait, there’s more!

Let’s look at multiplication within the conjecture. Let’s use 8, 9, and 17 again. Our primes are 2, 3, and 17. Let’s multiply them together! The product is 102. Wow! Much bigger than 17, but what about a case like 5+27=32? Well, our primes are 5, 3, and 2. Let’s multiply them. We got 30. Well, that’s less than 32.

That’s why it gets wild. Here, with our second example, 30<32, but only by a smidge. It’s a little more than 30^1.01.

That abc conjecture says that there are only a finite amount of abcs in which c is larger than the product of the prime factors.

So our little a+b=c is getting a little more confusing. Yes.

Now many people tried to prove it. It’s worth so much if you can prove this. It’s so elementary but also so difficult to prove, because how do we show how finite? How do we show it’s finite when so many infinities exist?

Enter Shinichi Mochizuki [the man who helped me pass abstract algebra with this very proof!]. He is very well known in the community. Maybe because he had something published and had to take it down once due to insufficient proofs. Maybe due to his brilliance. Either way, if you read proofs and research what’s new in the math world, you know him.

He posted a 500 page proof in maybe 2012? Idk. I saw them when they got published in 2021-2022. They held conferences to try to edit and disprove his proof. They held conferences. And they couldn’t. Fucking. Read. It. It was too confusing and referred to hundreds of his past work!

But, as I mentioned, it was published. Between 12-18 mathematicians verified his work. It looks correct—as correct as it can.

But here’s the issue. Only that margin of people could verify it. And that small amount are reportedly in “Mochizuki’s Circle.” Others are still pissed off/don’t believe it was proven because he wrote it so weirdly. It’s a sin to mathematicians. They can’t point to any error because it’s practically incomprehensible.

And you can download all 500 pages online. For free.

I love it.

[chuluoyi]

Hi Chu!!!!! OMG This AU looks so cute AHHH I regret not buying schips thenn 😭😭Backing Rosa against the sofa!?!?!??!? SIR ME NEXT-

OH and I got the Marius SSR too! The story is super cute you've got to read it soon! You're so right! If it were a 4 SSR event I would die...

Yeah!! Unholy blood is really a unique webtoon, and Father Michael 😭😭😭 I cried too it was so sad... I somehow always cry when I see the main character devastated...

The author's new work is called "Killer Peter"! I haven't heard of Apostle's creed tho...

HAHAHA Callisto's smirk 🤣 Is he your fave male lead?? I despise Derek with a burning passion... I started liking Reynold after a while, and my fave so far is Eclise 🥹🥹 Vinter is useless ngl like he's just there...

I already returned from Kuantan! It was so fun! The beaches were really beautiful, I wished Nanami could've seen it once 😭😭😭

You can do it Chu!! 💪🏻💪🏻 Jan is coming soonnnn!!!

Yeah! I'm studying in a "Polytechnic" instead of a Junior College. Polytechnics don't have uniforms, and we study things that relate more to our dream career! My extracurricular is actually SFX, but my instructor is a makeup artist so he teaches me beauty makeup too! Omg You're allowed to cut your skirt?? My secondary school would expell me if I did that... And what even- They mock girls with or without makeup??! What's their problem? It really isn't easy being a woman 😭😭 Somehow we're always wrong... So are we supposed to all be naturally pretty? [I think they would call naturally pretty girls slutty ngl] THEY'RE the problem, not girls bruh.

Omg I thought Yuri on Ice was like some anime that not many knew about 🫠���

YUH OMG FINALLY SOMEONE WHO KNOWSS!!! 🩵🩵🩵 Shin Hyesun is so talented! You should watch "Mr Queen" she's so funny in this kdrama 😆 I've watched Angel's last mission too! I love how she actually immerses herself in her roles like her acting is just perfect she's sooo natural

THE XMAS ONE 😭😭😭 That one is so brutal 😭😭😭😭 Your bf needs to be hollow purpled by Gojo-

I'll use the forum once my school starts in Jan!! For now I'll just chill 🫠

HUH 50?! THAT'S NUTS I thought 20 marks was bad 😭😭😭 How did you score in that 😭😭 Ooo was engineering interesting tho? Hahah! I'm doing banking and finance but I plan to switch courses to Accounting or something... I'm so done with crypto and stuff I'm not cut out for it...

Sorry babe I despise Econs with a burning passion 😭 I'm a math girlie ✨️✨️ I love Algebra HAHAH but I hate Trigo... Idk why we need to find X and Y... But if I'm somehow good at it, sure! Right? I can't remember anything from the nervous system... I remember being so done with it 💀💀 Omg the whole periodic table?!??!! That's crazy 😭 I was already happy with memorising the metallic table thingy...

YEAH- I think it's different tho! HAHHAHA Everyone would flock to Kuantan 😭😭😭 But Kuantan is pretty good on its own too!! There's always turtles there! If the timing is right, you'll even get to see the turtle eggs hatching and baby turtles too! The beaches are STUNNING

P.s Sorry I took so long to reply again 😭😭 I spent the past few days painting my house walls 🫠🫠🫠

-🪩

disco anonn!!🥹 sorry for taking my time to reply!

SIR ME NEXT is soooo relatable omg😭 aaargh i haven't got the time to read it comfortably yet but i will soon!! the illustration is legit sooo cute😭

ohh killer peter! okay, i'll add it to my reading list too next!! apostle's creed is quite good! but well, nothing measures up to unholy blood to me still...

AHAHAHHA honestly i hate him at first🫠 ugh but that's my cycle with cocky male lead. hate him -> get soft -> love him. it applies the same with callisto too argh i love his hair like i'm weak for men with that sort of hairstyle― but yes, i think he's still my pick and YOU'RE SO RIGHT FOR VINTER HAHAHAHA he's just there like 😭 sir, thank you but next

waaah i'm happy that you've returned safely!🥹 do you like beaches? i love it too but i can't swim so i can only wait from the sidelines :')

oh and nanami... have you seen the recent leaks?😭 gods, i'm sad all of a sudden while reading the latest chapter. i'm happy that he's mentioned after so long in the manga but...

ahh that's so interesting! like yes, the more focused it is, the better it'll help in your future endeavors🥹 well, "allowed" is not exactly... but i went and cut it because i just didn't like it🫠 it went past the knees and i felt like... a walking stick? i just hate the way it feels, so i make it shorter... to a bit above my knees🥹 my teacher once suspected i did cut it but then when i played the fool, she was just like "nah" and went on her way HAHAHAHAH

that's also what makes me so ??? like why are you little clowns like that you don't even know the first thing about beauty🫠 nah so true, the best we could do is to be on our ways, don't bother with them because they're not worth our time

I WATCHED IT!! omg that was one of the best kdrama all time to me like i can't stop laughing for each and every episode😭 shin hyesun is soooo funny and the king (kim... jung hyun? omg i forgot)'s face is also naturally funny as heck too even when he's staying quiet. they're the best crack pair ever i swear!🥹 but i just watched see you in my 19th life but sadly i think it's quite average... but i think it's because of the script and ahn bohyun's stiffness though...

i so agree i will hollow purple him― oh wait, have you seen the new gojo hollow purple figure!? it's sooo majestic i swear!

good luck!! holidays is coming soon let us rest before we tackle more new year shit :'))))

i... think i scored only about 30 out of 50 marks? i was sooo bad at economics and i think it's the power of my prayers that i was able to pass at all🫠 engineering is... interesting yes, but it's also making you scratch your head in confusion. like i met math and physics again there and it's more of technical things like machine and such (which i have 0 interest in) so most of the time i would sit in class and try not get caught being sleepy―

accounting is pretty useful in the working world!🥹 i think it's great should you decide to pursue that because anywhere we need accountants~ ah, tbh i'm afraid of trying crypto because well, for one, my luck isn't that great so...

SERIOUSLY how did you like algebra that was my natural enemy😭 but yeah if you're good at it, of course you'd like it!🥹 i was a total dummy so i hate it ahaahahah ooh i actually started out not hating biology but ever since my teacher got me to try this national competition, i realized how much i'm not cut out for that and even in the end i WO-ed🫠 periodic table isn't that hard when you compare it to biology though AHAHAHAH

omg really?! that's sooo cute! i definitely want to visit there now that you said it like that!🥹 baby turtles always get my heart soft like awww they're so smol and yet walking...

that's okay! oh and that's so fun that you're painting your walls by yourself?? like you can customize it and such too??

[echoesofadream]

for the asks

1, 16, 19 <3

hi <3

what’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?

it is a bit hard to say what is the best advice i've ever been given but i can say a good advice is that of a cbt therapist gave me when she was intermittently seeing me after screening me for autism and i was waiting to get evaluated at a psychiatry where they would do a real assessment for diagnosis. i do not have a good experience with cbt, it's never worked for me, but we were basically talking about thoughts, and how do you know whether you can trust your brain? because if there is a fire and you touch, your brain tells you to withdraw your hand and you do, so you learn to trust your brain. but then the brain tells you many many things and not all of them are true. and she said telling these things apart can be extra difficult for people on the spectrum. and for me until that point which was in 2022, so i was 21 years old, had never questioned a single thought of mine. i did not understand that there was a difference between what i believed and actual truth. not as in i never changed my beliefs but i never questioned my own thoughts. okay so there is a difference between thoughts and thoughts here... i mean more like impressions? In a situation and I got a certain impression, I believed this to be truth instead of a projection of my own thoughts.

it's a very well known mind trap in CBT therapy especially with regards to social anxiety that you can read other people's minds. the thing is though i did not even realize this was a mind trap because i didn't know it was a thought i had rather than just fact. Well anyways this therapist took out a paper and wrote down a thought, and then she showed me i could replace that thought with literally anything, like oranges are yellow or whatever i wanted because the thought is meaningless and not real. i don't know but something just clicked for me. this was really helpful though i don't know if it's changed much about my life because i still get insecure and feel like other people are thinking the same thing that i think about myself. but at least I know it's not the case. it's not really advice persay more like a realization and a way to question my thoughts or understand what they are, the writing down and just scribbling down thoughts and playing around with them on paper was an advice she gave me that helped understand this.

wow... that got long sorry. there's probably good advice i've gotten that i've forgotten, this was what came to mind rn.

2. what is a skill or talent you’ve completely lost or overlooked? why did that happen?

hmm... i feel like those questions are quite different. i've probably lost most of my math "skills". i've never been a natural math and numbers are still my enemy. but when i got older like starting from 7th grade i started taking math more seriously. in 8th and especially 9th grade i started to understand it and like it. then i started swedish equivalent of high school but its more like a fusion of hs and college, age 16 to 19 (for me, depending on when you're born in the year) and i went to the natural science program. and basically i went into a frenzy started to study math every day and did so for three years more or less, i took math 1-5 (this means nothing to anyone who hasn't gone to swedish school ik). then i studied maths for a little less than a semester after graduating, starting with introduction to math which was awesome and then one variable analysis (envariabelanalys) which was also awesome. did start a course called like algebra and geometry but i didn't understand vectors and i couldn't give it the time i needed because i was also busy with other classes that were incomprehensible to me and i dropped out. this was november 2020, and since i have not done math like. once. so it is pretty safe to say it's all gone even though doing all that math probably altered my brain chemistry. yeah i'd say i've probably completely lost it.

idk any skills or talent i've overlooked. i'd have to think about it.

19. tell me something you don’t like telling the people you are close to.

that i can have pretty violent psychopathic thoughts.. and don't really care about things that i should. like i'm not a good kind person, i'm very selfish and don't care about other people like i should. my thoughts are very cruel and judgmental. i don't like telling people i know irl about how i live mostly in daydreams and things and that reality does not interest me. my general philosophy and way i view things or the way i live. my fanfiction or writing. how really obsessed i am with some things like kpop. and how bleak my life is. i also don't like telling people about my desires and like how lonely i feel. i also don't like telling people how i feel about religion because i grew up in a very cold atheist place and family whereas i'm more questioning and sometimes pray.

Thank you <33 i'm sorry this got so long

[thebrilliot]

Rubik's cube solving agent

Cubers of Tumblr: I have a special request. Where is the best community for learning cubing algorithms? Or maybe there is an encyclopedia? I would be eternally grateful if you could help me out.

I have been working on a side project I've got going with my brother for the past couple weeks and haven't touched this in a while, but I do want to get back on this one and make some more progress. Before, I was stumped on what to do next. I've written and debugged the algebra/logic and even finagled subtraction between two cubes (not yet debugged - have plans to build solution pathfinder off this idea using an explored graph) and I think I'm satisfied with current performance of the graph exploration. What I need now is something to train the model on, either an environment or a dataset. I did find a dataset which is currently taking 100 GB of space on my desktop but loading even one partition of it is sooooo slow (they stored everything as strings and lists of strings I kid you not - incredibly inefficient). I don't think I will end up using it but I may do the world a favor and convert the data to something better and send it back to the people hosting it.

Right now, I have all states up to 5 moves away from solved. But before I start training, there are a couple things I'd like to achieve with the dataset. I really want to be able to say I built it out as much as humanly possible. First is I would like to get all of depth 6 as well. There are 2 ways to make that possible. I will probably implement both: 1) only storing each set of isomorphic/symmetric/idk cubes as one cube and 2) using a high concurrency database to offload memory onto disk. For isomorphism, making one clockwise turn on one face is isomorphic with any cube that is one clockwise or counterclockwise turn on any other face so why store all of them explicitly? And for the database, that's not a performance thing, just increasing storage without crashing my computer. While I'm doing the database, I may also try to compress the 20 byte array to 11 bytes and make a custom hash function and see if those improve performance at all.

Second, I also want to make sure the database has records of well-known cubing algorithms. I only know a couple and don't know where to find the best or most common ones. I'm sure there's a Discord server and a wiki page and a forum for cubers somewhere. I just couldn't tell you where. Please cubers of Tumblr

The plan is to train up a model on all cube states increasing in depth up to 6, then some depth 7, and then the plan gets more nebulous. At some point, the exact depth of a cube becomes unknown but the threshold may be higher than I originally thought if we know the path used to reach the cube. I'll have to play with that. I could probably train with a known depth up to about 10 at least. But most cubes are ~18 moves away so once I'm satisfied with the performance up to whatever known depth, we've got to randomly generate cubes and do proper reinforcement learning.

As for the detailed training process, I will have to make another post but after I have slept. For now, suffice it to say that I need to go read more about proximal policy optimization and DDQNs and that I am almost 100% certain it is extremely important that the neural network be able to recognize what depth the cube is at.

[celestialthinking]

I did what I thought was expected of me | unknown 2023

I wanted to design - uncle told me to study something useful….like engineering

So STEM …. Sciences? I only truly enjoyed chemistry and I’m pretty it’s bc of the MATH portion. Technology? I don’t even know what is in that field? I guess computer science. And coding? Idk honestly that’s how disinterested in tech I am. Engineering? Well we saw how that played out. Math? I liked solving algebra equations but that’s literally it. I did notice that once I am familiar with a method to do something, like an alegra equation, I enjoy it a lot more. I guess you could say I like solving problems … or putting out metaphorical fires, if you will.*

Nursing/anything medical = influenced by TV

Performance arts = ???

I chose to sing in 5th grade and kept up with it for 7 years (my longest running hobby to date). I love the idea of dance more than singing honestly. I never really got to deep dive into it. However singing now carries so much more emotional trauma that I have to heal from before I can confidently sing again. Maybe if moved up choirs I definitely would have had more of a will to think about studying music. Trauma stopped me from studying music. and I wasn’t interested in studying dance or having a career as a dancer - more like a skill I wanna develop. also I can’t act for shit.

Photography = just want to learn as a hobby

Graphic Design/Art/Interior Design/psychology = the cost outweighs the benefit

to some extent, I agree. My field of future career opportunities would be very limited. Smaller than it is right now. Besides, everything EXCEPT psychology is speciality that I can obtain without the need to actually return to school. (That’s why I want the AFA/BS in psychology)*

History = I honestly could’ve cared less about history in the past ESPECIALLY in high school but the subject always interested me (Social Studies) a little bit. Also I think I was burnt out bc of APUSH and Euro History.

Anthropology - didn’t know that was a thing until 2016 so didn’t care

it’s interesting but could learn what I want without the need of school

Political Science = Influenced by NHI.

yeah I was going with that until I saw the curriculum and saw what a Poli Sci degree was for and yeah no. Was not interested in working as civil servant somehow and fuuuuuxk being a politician nowadays - I don’t want that many people to depend on me. I don’t want to be responsible for that many people. I think I only liked the debate and learning about our issues and that actually falls in Latin/African American/Gender Studies. Again not something worth going to school for but would be very interested in learning. when I chose this at first I think what I was thinking of was my director? I don’t remember from NHI but he was working on a big campaign (was it Sanders? I honestly don’t remember) and I thought that was cool as hell. I think I wanted to be part of a campaign….part of putting one together and that leads into event planning

Event Planning = ??

For one, you can’t really get a degree in this? It’s just pure experience. Now I’ll be honest I LOVE event planning. But when i thought of event planning, i thought of weddings and quinces and I never cared about those events. I loved planning volunteer events, dinners, banquets, travel etc… I also like putting out fires, if you will.

Advertising = I’m not interested in thinking of ads. *but I’m more interested in learning about how it works globally.* *I noticed when I went to CDMX I got a kick out of seeing how international companies operate. I loved looking at the different brands that I’ve never seen before. I don’t know what that falls under (maybe branding or research idk) and that’s something I look forward to when I travel. Maybe I’ll find out what this is considered someday or maybe I’ll ask AI! Please hold….*

[mostlymalena]

Tuesday March 26th 3:26pm

Hello I know I know it's been some time. lots of spelling errors coming your way. I have started carrying around a little notebook so I can write down snippets of things that have happened so I can remember to write about them later. here we go

lets start with Saturday night. The usual group goes out and grace comes since we were close to getting back together (more on that later). We meet up with my good friend Ava at BP. Earlier in the week she posted on her story a picture of me calling me her crush as a joke bc we fuck off a lot and are idiots (love). This bitch Belle who I have hated since the day I fucking met her which was well well over a year ago.

Okay wait context: when me and P were dating his brothers formed a cutie little band and they needed a singer and idk I guess belle was friends with one of them but she joined. She always gave me shady vibes and they were reassured by her being fucking weird with P's brother while she had a boyfriend. Me and P used to talk the biggest shit about her and her behavior so all in all she has always rubbed me the wrong way. Well when she found out P and I had broken up (we were still seeing each other mind you) this bitch went full fucking speed clinging to P's dick. Posting him and asking him to hangout just the two of them, buying him things yada yada. Of course I bitched about it to P and he just amped it up bc it made me jealous.

So I have just icky vibes about her and knew they would hook up once P and I finally stopped talking. What do you know, rumor has it they do and no one is surprised at fucking all. Thank god I'm past the point where that caught me up bc it was sickening to hear about. Now it gives me second hand embarrassment. I feel like the first rule of thumb when you have a rebound is to make sure they are at least even remotely on the same level as your ex.

Anyways Ava posted me and Belle's fucking SISTER slide up going on about how I'm crazy and broke into P's house (no lmao just no) and yada yada. I wanna know if they all have so much to say why do you avoid bluepost so damn much??? yap yap yap on the internet and in my friends dm's and all ups and down town but cannot say shit to my face? Typical.

Can someone please let this 2 by 4 with eyes know that I am not a threat to her relationship with an AI generated line cook with 0 passion or excitement about anything that would extend past algebra and chess. Like please. Im so stupid to think everything was chiller. Legit thought everything was fine I was like like oh we both moving on that chill there is no bad blood lmao. WRONG> WREONG WRONG MALENA.

Also to me there is something about being with a man who is only not still fucking with his ex bc SHE moved on first. That just does not sit right with me. P came back from his trip ready to revamp whatever we had before he left and if I hadn't moved on (thankfully) while he was gone then we would still be swimming in the same circle. Whatever girl he has now or next or whatever he got going on that is not my business has got her work cut out for her. Lord have mercy.

I was really okay about it all but now I just feel like frustrated bc I do not understand why it matters much anymore. Miss me or dont but thats on you. Somedays I'm nostolgic about it somedays im not but im also never afraid to own up to my feelings or behavior. Im confused why men fuck with me and are obsessed with me bc im "different" "weird" "crazy" and "love that you dont act nonchalant" but when they cross me and I still behave that way THEN its a problem?

Mistakes are made when men think they are the exception and they never are nor will be ever again lmao.

I have soccer practice now so I'll have to write more later in the evening.

[sportsbianism]

so what i did is first of all, last night, set a shitload of beans to soak. actually way more than i ended up needing, so i had to do algebra later to get the macros lol. then this morning, i drained all the water out, put them back in the pot, covered with water, and set them to simmer. while they were simmering i chopped up a big white onion.

they simmered for about half an hour before they were nice and mushy like i wanted. then i took them out and put them (with the bean water!!! Don't dump that out) in a big bowl.

back to my big bean pot, i put in some oil, in my case i decided to go with about 40 grams of peanut oil. i just bought a kitchen scale from the bargain store so im getting all fancy 🤪 then i added in my onions, some minced/pressed garlic, salt, and half a packet of taco seasoning. taco seasoning was sort of cheap and lazy of me. you could be more legit than me and use like. fresh chilis etc. but i didn't. once those things looked nice and toasty, i added all my beans back in and mushed the crap outta them w my masher. u could also use an immersion blender for this but i didn't bc i don't have any money.

while still periodically stirring my bean mush, i put my cast iron pan on the stove as well. i put in some stirred 96% lean ground beef (idk what the official term for this is, but i personally like to stir and mush my ground beef up before i cook it. stir in one direction so it's all smooth and yummy. but that's extra as fuck and you don't really need to do that. u can just dump straight in and mush). on top of that i put some salt and the other half of my taco seasoning packet. i also ended up adding a little bit of water idk it just felt right.

once all shit was cooked to my liking, i took it off the stove and onto my little mini folding tables which i use to cook bc i have no counters. inside low carb tortillas from aldi, i put 90 grams of my beans, 15 grams of fat free mozzarella from walmart, 5 grams of shredded gouda from aldi (why gouda?????? idk it's what i had and i thought it would make a good melt) and 40 grams of my beef. wrapped it up normal burrito style.

once everything was all wrapped up, i did stick it in the oven for a quick minute to sort of solidify the shape to make wrapping them in plastic wrap easier. i learned that aldi plastic wrap is bad. i also ate one and it was super delicious.

made beef and bean burritos from scratch. so fucking good

[feariteriu]

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 — miles morales

— MasterList!

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬: Miles has been caught up with his Spider-Man duties and in result, has forgotten all about you. Will you guys be able to work it out?

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: Swearing? Angsty? Idk fr nothing really.

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚: Miles Morales x female reader.

𝗔/𝗡: Hope you like it, feels kinda cringey to me…

—

All week you had been avoiding the Spider-man, Miles Morales. Your Boyfriend.

He never made time for you. And sure, you knew what it meant to be him, the obstacles he was hurtling daily, the responsibility. Of course, you knew. You were so understanding, so supportive that it hurt.

It wasn't until he started to forget important things. Like your birthday, anniversary’s, family dinners things like that is how you got here. He started pulling away and in turn, so did you. It took Miles a week to notice while the whole time it had been three months of that behavior from him.

One night while doing your homework, face buried deep in your textbook for Financial algebra. You got a text message from him. Your eyes double over in size as you read who the text was from, no way it was him. You unlocked your phone and it was him saying he was coming over with just a period at the end. No heart no emoji, no nothing.

But that stupid period.

You didn't let the message phase you, it wasn't the first time he said he would be coming over then he never showed. So you went back to your work. Completely erasing him from your mind.

An hour later you get a knock on your dorm door and roll your eyes back in your head, thinking it's your roommate and they forgot their key again.

You're surprised when you open your door to find your boyfriend drenched in rain, his clothes sticking to his skin. He looked up at you and your eyes locked for the first time in months you couldn't help but feel weak in the knees for him.

But you wouldn't dwell on that, he was not getting off the hook like that, no way. You harden your gaze at him and he just stares. His words got lost in his throat until, "Why are you avoiding me?" He asked in a small voice.

The answer you got was not what you wanted, was not what you expected. It just fueled your anger.

Scoffing and muttering a harsh ‘I can't believe you’ under your breath. You go to close the door in his face when his fast reflexes kick in and his foot stops it. You groan in frustration. "Miles just leave!" Turning away from the door letting it go, knowing Miles the way you do you know there was no way in stopping him from coming in.

"Y/N, you need to tell me what's wrong." You give him a look at his choice of words, "S-So I can fix it!" He then says frantically, panic overtaking his features. "No." Is all you say and Miles's jaw drops, you had never said no to him, at least not like that? Not with such malice and resentment. What had he done to you?

You sat down at your desk to get back to work, "Can you leave? I have homework." You sat down at your desk and looked back at him, like he was a stranger. And fuck, he would be lying if he said it didn't hurt him.

"No, Amor we need to—"

Not even giving him a chance to finish you jump out of your seat hands slamming down on your desk, "fine! I'll go then!" And off you went. Towards the door and slipping on your shoes not even caring about the rain enough to get a coat, you just needed to get away from him. This was too much all at once.

Miles watched you go. And it was as if something snapped in him as you closed the door. You were upset, yes, but that doesn't mean you had to act like this. You were being unreasonable and Miles felt like he was losing it. “She can’t be serious.” Rushing after you he slammed your door behind you and marched outside, you on his mind.

He pushed the building doors open and there he found you standing in the rain, cold and soaked. But that wasn't what caught his attention it was your hushed sobs barely noticeable. Good thing he had super hearing.

It was then that he felt his anger for you diminish into nothing but ash, it was like someone poured water over a lit candle. He was a fucking idiot. Whatever he did had you crying out in the cold rain.

And he hated himself for doing that to you.

Miles finally got out of his head and rushed up to you, your back was to him but he could still see you shivering under the dark sky and bright lights of new york. Miles wasn't sure what had you so upset, but he knew he wanted to be the one to comfort you.

He had this intense urge to grab you and hold you and tell you he loved you and that he’ll make sure everything will be okay.

He wishes he had a jacket to give you.

"This isn't going as planned." He worked up the courage to finally say behind you, he heard you sniff.

"What isn't going the way you planned?" You questioned wiping at your wet eyes a mixture of rain and your tears on the back of your hands.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Y/N." He breathed out. Sadness takes over his voice as he reached his hand out to wipe the tears falling from your precious face. Taking a step back you don’t let him comfort you.

The air around you guys was thick. It was heavy and it was hard to breathe. Closing your eyes you finally caved. "Miles you ignored me, for months." When the words left your lips he felt his heart stop. You turn to face him and the look on your face breaks his heart, finishing the job. You were so torn, so distraught over him, over something he did to you.

You whimper at the sight of him and a moment later your eyes burst like a flood. Miles has to hold back from crying himself once he hears the sorrow that's been hidden within you.

He’s never seen this side of you. The devastation must be too much that you can't hide it anymore he thought, because it was.

How could he ever forgive himself?

"Y/N, I love you so much please never doubt that. I'm so sorry." He stepped towards you and you shook your head putting a hand out in front of you to keep the distance.

Mumbling a ‘I can't’ closing your eyes. This whole thing has exhausted you, at this point you weren’t mad at him anymore. You were just tired. So tired. You were more disappointed than mad now.

You go to walk away with the shake of your head, just wanting to go back to the comfort of your room and sleep off the rest of the day, like you always did.

"I am really fucking in love with you."

When it’s those words that make you stop mid step. It takes you a while to process the words. What they mean, why he said them. It catches you off guard at first. You turn around to look him in the eyes, about to dismiss what he claimed. But the severity behind his words, the seriousness his eyes held, how raw and uncut his eyes looked. He looked down at you like you were the air he needed to breathe.

And in a way you were. He needed you.

No one had ever looked at you how Miles Morales was.

That was the first time he told you he loved you.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, your mouth going dry you shake your head eyes closing than opening, you couldn’t believe he said that, "W-What?" You finally let out. After standing there in the quite for so long.

He takes another step and this time you don't stop him. "I...I love you. And I know you're mad at me. And I know I don't deserve anything from you." Miles stopped. His eyes closed and he looked down at you with a look you couldn't read. "I put that distance between us to protect you. I'd rather let the world burn than put you in any danger." He finishes reaching for your hands.

And for some reason you believe him. You believe him because Miles Morales doesn’t lie to you. And because Miles Morales loves you. He loves you.

"I don't expect you to say anything. And I don't expect you to feel the same way. Believe me when I tell you I understand why you don't. You have the kindest heart, Y/N." He rambled on and on but you let him you wanted to know exactly how he felt, how he felt about you. You finally got what you wished for. Communication.

"You're more than anything I could've asked for, more than I'd ever deserve—" But it was that sentence that irked you, he can’t possibly be serious, right?

“You have no idea how much you mean to me!” You shouted out interrupting him. You weren’t going to let this slide is this how he thought of you? He put you on a pedestal that you didn’t deserve, that you didn’t ask for.

Squeezing his hand's, eyes shutting as you looked down to the side you finish what you’re trying to convey to him. "Whenever I was around you all I wanted to do was let go of everything. My responsibilities, my thoughts, my worries. I wanted to get lost in you in the best way possible..."

You trail off getting lost in thought but Miles pulls you back by the touch of his two fingers hooking under your chin, gently and guiding your face back to his. Upon opening your eyes dark brown ones stare right back at you with a love you can't find words to describe swarming through them.

"Please don't ever think you're undeserving of love, Miles. Because you're one of the strongest people I know."He lets out a long sigh just captivated by you, "I think of you so much it drives me crazy." And he did. He truly did.

His hands still holding yours pull you closer. His large hands circled your waist, his touch was warm despite the rain that soaked your clothing.

You instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck, attempting to bring his body even closer. And it was his lips that took your breath away. The way they crashed into your own with such a passionate force that you nearly fell over if it hadn't had been for his arms holding your smaller frame up. It was like a wave touching shore for the first time, a rush.

But this was different from your other kisses with the famous web-slinger, it felt real. Like all the barriers, all the obstacles that blocked you two were washed away. You weren't sure what your future would be like but you did know that you could see yourself with him. Living with him. Making memories. Loving him relentlessly.

The way he kissed you with such devotion but held your face so gently made your stomach flutter. He was amazing. In every possible way. Everything about Miles felt right.

Pulling away was the hard part.

Resting your forehead on his you catch your breath. "I just wanted to keep you safe." Miles starts, "I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to you." He never wanted to think like this, think about this. But this is what you need from him right now. If him talking about your safety was what it took to get you to stay than he would gladly do so.

He would do anything you asked him. Even if that meant destroying himself from the inside out just to see you smile, because to him at the end of the day anything was worth it if he got to see a smile on your face. Anything.

“You'll always be worth it to me. I think you're worth the world. Worth everything. I'd go to the end of the earth to make sure you're taken care of, Y/N.”

You attempted to look away but his grip tightens around your chin so you couldn't. "There are times where it's hard for me to look anywhere else but at you." Your beauty was something Miles could never put into words, no matter how many times he’s tried, how many times he thought about it.

“Eres hermosa mi amor.” But for now he’ll settle for this until he can find the right words to express just how deeply he’s enthralled by you.

"Miles..."

He stops you with his lips and you can't help but kiss back, completely smitten by Miles Morales. He ran his hands through your hair to hold the back of your neck, keeping you close. It was such a protective, soft gesture that made your heart flutter.

Pulling away this time proved to be a struggle when Miles's lips just kept chasing your own. It wasn't till you said, "I love you," That got him to stop.

"You're incredible, Y/N. Being here with you ... it feels more like a dream than reality. Good things don't usually happen to me, but somehow you did. And I'll be damned if I ever let you slip away again."

You give him that smile that he loves so much. And it’s then he only had one thought in his head.

You’re it for him.

[redoqs]

You want to see disaster? Teaching the lords + sisters math, like the hard math in college. They’re going to be sitting there while you explain like

You should’ve seen me when I took calculus bruh I was a VIP member for the office hours.

Alcina is smart. I feel like she wouldn’t really need help with math fr. That being said she does come across a more difficult problem from time to time and when she does she gets pissed. She hates not understanding something and she will sit there in the same spot until she understands it it don’t matter if it takes all night

Bela is good at math though she can get confused because she will overthink a problem. She will solve one problem and then move onto the next one and get confused on what she’s supposed to do like she literally didn’t just complete a problem just like it. She will eventually figure it out and get the groove of it but if she’s really stuck she will cry in frustration.

Cassandra is pretty good too. Remember when the teacher handed us 100 multiplication problems and the first one to finish always slammed the paper down first to let everyone know they’re that bitch? Thats Cassandra. Now that being said, she took geometry and got pissed because what the fuck shapes got to do with math? Girl, idk I passed that class without understanding what I was doing. Proofs? Why she gotta prove shit? She just knows it.

Daniela is the one who can do complex ass problems in her head but needs to count on her fingers to figure out what two plus two is. This girl never shows her work and always gets points knocked off because of it and it happened so often that Alcina had to come up to the school and talk some sense into the teacher. Now Dani doesn’t have to show her work. She one of those class clowns who gets their work done so while she akikiking she’s also pppassing.

Donna makes dolls and those things require precise measurements so she’s good that math. I feel like she’s well off on every sub genre of math from algebra to calculus. She doesn’t really get confused but she’s also not good at explaining how she knows. Angie asked her to do a problem once and Donna answered it in two seconds. Angie was like “how’d you get that?” And Donna just shrugs.

Moreau I don’t think is all that great at math and cries when the questions are too hard. Numbers were bad enough but now they’re introducing letters? What the hell is a variable? What happened to the x that means multiply? Why is it a dot now? He just wants to swim freely in the water. He tries his best but he literally can not do it. “Moreau what did you get for number 6?” “Uh…Golden State Bridge?”

Heisenberg works in a factory he’s a God at math. Homeboy is the one teaching me how to do math. He’s out here doing Calc 2 shit in his head, he don’t need a calculator or nothing. The moment he caught me using my fingers to count he kicked me out of the room. “Y/N, what the derivative of y=cos3x?” “Uhhhh….” “Gtfo”

[wizkiddx]

heyheyhey idk if u do req but love your dad tom stuff! PLZ PLZ do tom helping his kids with homework but cant do it and reader has to help and its all fluffy 😩💕

ye im down to do req and this had me going completely ott cos its v cute (and a lot less angsty than what ive written recently aha) so apologies for my ramblings:

Summary: tom has the kids for a day and maths homework throws a spanner in the works - tomhollandxreader

implied smut + v slight reference to porn but basically just fluff I promise xox

\\\\\\\\\\\\///////////

Tom had dealt with a lot of whining today. Nova and Leo were the absolute joys of his life, there was no doubt about it. Of course, he also loved you a hell of a lot too - sometimes to his detriment though, hence the position he was in now. 

You’d had a busy week at work and he had been away for the first half of it - leaving you as an almost single mother to a 5 and a 7 year old. So completely fairly, you’d asked if he wouldn’t mind watching the kids for a the day on Sunday, allowing you to go to a friends baby shower. There was no answer but to agree, Tom loved quality time with the kids and he wanted you to kick back and relax with you friends too. 

However the afternoon had not been nearly as idealistic as it were supposed to be in his head. You had left him only one real job (apart from the unavoidable essentials of keeping the kids alive with food and water, something you’d hope he need not be reminded about now). Really it shouldn’t of been that hard, it was just each kid had two pieces of homework. After convincing and cajoling the kids into sitting at the table which he’d already set up with Nova’s ‘Liverpool FC’ and Leo’s ‘captain marvels’ pencil case, the English was easy. 

In fact 5 year old Leo took great joy out of writing a poem with his Dad, which basically involved trying to rhyme any word with another - especially when he tried to convince Tom that all his completely fictitious words were real and worked together. A personal favourite had been ‘snakes’ and ‘palakes’ which Leo was convinced meant pancakes - arguing so vehemently Tom almost started to doubt himself on basic English. 

Thankfully though his eldest and most sensibly child eventually took him out his misery. If anyone had any control over the Holland boys, Leo and Tom - it was the Holland girls. You and Nova had both boys completely under you spell, often taking advantage of the fact too. It was only when Nova got bored of hearing Tom and Leo mock arguing, interspersed with the little boys giggles that Tom tried his absolute hardest to keep a straight face at, that she swooped in.

“Stop being silly Leo, mummy told you he’s not good at school!” She looked oh so innocent, eyes immediately flicking down to continue the little short story she was happily going on with. In response  Tom scowled, knowing your highly curious and intelligent daughter had asked you (for one reason or another) why he was not so academic. Yet instead of Leo bursting out laughing, instead he just nodded and accepted it too - making Tom scowl even more. Not even Leo thought it was a joke. 

So apart from his children apparently taking pity on his simple mind, it was all going smoothly. Perhaps, due to the thankful fact your children had inherited their brains from their mother - something Tom was forever thankful for, until he was shamed for his substandard intellect in the family. Then again though, he was Spiderman. So take that. 

Until Nova brought out her maths sheet. Then the afternoon quickly descended into chaos. It was fractions, something she hadn’t quite grasped from school yet - a concept that still hurt her head somewhat. Normally though it’d be fine, she’d bring the sheet to you and the two of you used ‘ girl power’ to figure it out… you prior experience as a tutor while in uni helping you know how to break through to her. 

Unfortunately Tom didn’t share this same experience. Nor did Tom share a maths qualification… something that had evaded him completely during his schooling career. Of course, it had never been a particular issue, acting didn’t require the use of maths and algebra and Tom was in a very lucky position of being able to pay someone to manage his finances from a very young age. So no, dividing 2/3 and 3/7 didn’t come the most naturally to him. Or at all to be quite honest. 

“I CANT DO IT AND GRACE IN MY CLASS COULD!” For context, Grace was one of her school friends, who forever liked to compare herself to the young Holland - especially because she was normally ahead. Nova had gone from quiet frustration, staring at the questions with her tongue sticking out slightly, to one of pure rage - yelling at her dad with tears in her eyes. Nova was normally incredibly intuitive, she always found it difficult when she couldn’t do something. Now, with a ‘teacher’ who was more useless than her - the frustrations inevitably bubbled over. 

“Hey, we can work it out, just calm-“

“YOU CANT DO IT EITHER YOUR STUPID “ She was just young and frustrated, Tom tried not to take it personally but … it wasn’t always easy. Chiefly because this was the height of offensive statement Nova knew - this was her version of adult explicit language. 

“Nova you can’t be rude.” He used his stern voice, something Tom very rarely used with his little girl. Though he never wanted to upset her, neither did he want her to think it was ever okay to be so rude to anyone like that- no matter how crappy at maths they were. It hurt him to do so but it was necessary - life lessons about the importance of being kind needed to be learnt. And it worked… if what Tom was aiming for was his beautiful baby girl’s eyes to brim with sparkling tears, her bottom lip quivering slightly. 

Instantly Tom’s eyebrows drooped, trying to fight his natural reaction to scoop her onto his knee and reassure her everything was okay. But as you had lectured him many a time before, he had to put his foot down once in a while. So instead, the father and daughter were locked in a silence and intense eye contact, until Nova hesitantly began to speak. 

“I’m sorry Daddy.” During which, Nova shoved her chair back, making it screech against the tiled floors uglily before running off up the stairs. Tom knew she was crying a lot. Knew this was going to take a bit of fixing. 

With a sigh of his daughters name, Tom popped his head into the living to check on Leo who had already finished all his stuff. Seeing him completely zombified in front of ‘paw patrol’ on TV, Tom trudged up the stairs. He knew where she was, when Nova was upset she always hid in the corner of her wardrobe and cried in the darkness. So after steadying himself with a little internal monologue of how to approach the situation Tom walked in and sat down beside the wardrobe - knocking on the door slightly. 

“Nova… can we talk please?” All he heard was sniffing echoing from the wooden chamber until she tried to shout through the door.

“Go-go… go away daddy.” It broke his heart, the way her voice wavered, making Tom pout - gently letting his head fall against the wardrobe doors. 

“I don’t want you to be upset beautiful…. And you did apologise which I appreciate. You know why Daddy got angry right?” Her sniffles heightened before she muttered a quiet ‘yes’. “And you are sorry? Because that might’ve made me really sad too.”

“I’m s-s-sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“Then that’s good and we don’t need to cry. You want a cuddle little one?” Before Tom could even properly get up the door was being pushed open by her little hands, revealing a tear stained face and big glassy eyes looking up at her Dad. Swiftly Tom scooped her up and out of the cupboard, whispering to her while she buried her face in his chest. 

“Oh come here my little bean.”

//////////////////////

When you came home late that evening, only mildly exhausted from spending the whole day gossiping with your girls, it was weirdly quiet. All the lights were out in the front room, which made you close the door gently, thinking Tom had managed to exhaust the kids - and himself in the process. With a relieved sigh at the peace you pattered into the kitchen to get yourself a drink (it had been a little concern that Tom would’ve worked the kids into a hyperactive and delerious state that kept them up long past bedtime - which ultimately you’d have to deal with). The house was remarkably silent and though it was clear from the littered toys everywhere that it had indeed been Tom alone in charge, everything seemed pretty okay. 

It was only as you were about to head upstairs to join your hubby in bed that you realised the study light was still on, streaming through the small crack in the doorframe. Assuming Tom had just neglected to turn it off, in otherwords Tom being Tom, you nudged it open with your hand. Surprisingly though, there was your husband, hunched over the desk, looking almost angrily focused - between the computer screen and a piece of paper below him. Normally you would’ve just assumed it was another script sent over or an edit Harry had sent of another screenplay they were writing together. 

But no, the blatant red flag was the screen that you could see. A screen on YouTube, of a man pointing at a whiteboard of fractions. 

So with a soft wrist you wrapped your knuckled on the side of the door, even if you had technically already entered the room. The reaction had you stifling a laugh, it was as if you’d caught him watching something *less PG* the way he jumped out his seat, closing the browser immediately. 

“Love!! I -er … didn’t know you’d got back?”

“I just did.” You smiled gently, while walking into stand behind his chair, wrapping your arms round his neck and pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Soooo…. what’ca doingggg” The glee in your voice was evident, making Tom groan and shut his eyes. 

“I hate you, you know that right?” 

“No you don’t… but you were watching a primary school video on fractions, if I’m not so mistaken?” He sighed deeply, making a point of turning the paper with his scribbles over to obscure it. 

“Nova’s homework.. she couldn’t do it and neither could I, so then she basically screamed at me for being thick and udseless and then had a breakdown.” 

Now you felt guilty. This was a bit of a sore spot with Tom, he always for some reason felt inferior because of his academic ability. Which was stupid- mainly because he was the most clever and talented man you’d ever met. Just…. Just not at fraction. 

“Oh T… you could’ve just left it for me to do with her, I don’t mind.”

“That’s not the point Y/n.” He snapped a little, shrugging your arms off him and spinning in the chair so he could face you. “She’s my daughter and I should be able to help her! It’s not like it’s that hard, it’s just I’m unbelievable thick.”

“Tom stop. Look - you can do this I assure you, it’s just been a long old time ‘kay? Your rusty and that’s only natural.”

“I really don’t think I could ev-“

“Can I teach you? It’s just the method and then I promise you’ll get it.”

It took a bit of persuasion but eventually Tom agreed, letting you pull the corner chair forward to beside his desk so you could demonstrate it to him. To be fair, he really could do it- just a bit of familiarising on the ‘stick-change-flip’ method. The way the lightbulb moment literally caused his face to light up; scurrying to do the question for himself, tongue sticking out in the process; then presenting it to you proudly - well it had you melting in your seat. 

“See! That took all of 5 minutes and you got it.” You elbowed  his side by leaning forward in the chair, which instead of letting go, Tom reached and caught, before pulling you up and round. You landed with you bum perched on the edge of the mahogany desk, Tom now stood up- his legs in-between your parted thighs - your feet hooking round the back of knees. 

“It’s all down to my incredibly talented teacher.”

“No…. No I really don’t think it is” You mused with a soft voice, fingers instinctively going to the nape of his neck - twirling the little curls round your fingertips. 

“Well even so… I think I could teach you a thing or two too.” Never one to mull on anything, Tom’s tone had immediately switched to something a lot more… mischievous. 

“Not even going to ask about my day? Wheres the chat mr smooth?” He had to repress the grin at your smirk because as much as you infuriated the hell out of him - you also had this weird ability of making him feel so entranced and helpless. He relented with a sarcastic chime.

“Fine, how was your day love.”

“Good…. but I have a feeling you’re about to make it a whole lot better.”

That was all the signals he needed to lean forward, in doing so forcing you back until your back landed completely on the cool wood. His lips feathered yours, both hands pinned either side of your head.

“Oh darling… you have no idea.”

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?

"they made lightning mcqueen hot"

"inch resting"

"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."

"im evaporating"

"enjoy precipitation"

"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"

"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"

"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"

"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"

"you all need some grass in your life"

"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"

"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"

"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"

"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"

"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"

"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"

"cries in Bianca Monroe"

"listen i have a folder called gayass

it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"

"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"

"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""

"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"

"crab walks away"

""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."

"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"

"That is my exit number"

"cars trauma arc"

"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"

"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"

"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"

"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"

"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"

"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"

"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"

"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)

"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"

"is a soft floor?"

"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"

"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"

"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"

"what ab smoking grass /j"

"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"

"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"

"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"

"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"

"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"

"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"

"i think i punched someone"

"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"

"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."

"bees are just spicy flies"

"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"

"My mom drank a bee once"

"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."

"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"

"mY LUNGSSSSSS"

"no one topping Him"

"I like em big"

"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"

"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"

"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"

"ZORO IS BANNED"

"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"

"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"

"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"

"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"

"screaming puppet"

"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"

"my hermit crabs ate each other again"

"we're cannibals ????"

"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"

"CARB DAY"

"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"

"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"

"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"

"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"

"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"

"Is that why your name is chaos"

"manifest the crab power!!"

"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"

"sighs adds to worship these entities list"

"with a knife <3"

"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"

"give me his eyes"

"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"

"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"

"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"

"CHUTES AND LADDERS"

"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"

"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"

"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"

"math my beloathed"

"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"

"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"

"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"

"Is that bipper"

"tumblr sexyman"

"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"

"I want a wing-suit"

"looks like a bean would poison someone"

"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"

"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"

"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"

"tell him he can steal my wallet"

"eyes"

"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"

"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"

"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"

"You can go cultbashing with he!"

"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."

"Simp Satan 📷"

"definitely arson"

"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"

"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"

"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"

annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:

"shiftblr but context makes it worse"

[mythvoiced]

@jeoseungsaja​ | ‘do you even understand how a compass works?’ (for Kim Shin -- idk why I imagined this as the compass to drAW CIRCLES but it could be either lol) STRANGER THINGS SENTENCE MEME

---

The office supply seems to vanish in his hand.

He’s not a particularly large man, he’s most likely walked past many people who could truly make even tall beer cans vanish within their palms. But with the size of this thing - a cheap thing nonetheless, which is something Shin has absolutely already blamed his lack of finesse on - he wouldn’t be surprised to see it disappear in Eun-tak’s small hands.

Hunched over the piece of paper as he is, halfway slid off the edge of the couch he’s just so managing to sit on while he hovers over their coffee table, the rest of his physique doesn’t help showing much more of the metallic object to the grim reaper sitting nearby, being absolutely useless unless he assigned particular use to his unrequested commentary on the given situation.

With a smack, the former general slams the object onto the table, right onto the paper now covered in more squibbles than anything one would dare describe a genuine attempt at a circle. One of his hands rests on his knees now, props him up, as he keeps himself hunched forward, this time in the direction of his housemate, body language revealing less concentration, and more a particular desire to lurch forward, much like any insecurity would dare him to do when being presented with a question he can’t give the confident answer to he’d like to give.

“Do you know where I’m from?” He waves the usual accusatory in the grim reaper’s direction, displeased by the unimpressed look worn on his pale features. Then he retracts it just as quickly and stabs it into his chest, inches from where the actual offender of such an action sits all too uncomfortably and invisibly. “Goryeo! I was a General! I commanded armies! No one needed something like this,” the accused gets lifted off the paper and shaken by its victim.

“Back then, when we needed circles, we’d just grab a brush and made it work, with finesse!” He accentuates the last part, the compass once again dropped onto the table. Curse him for wanting to somehow help Eun-tak in her studies. How was he supposed to know that he wouldn’t even be able to get closer to the mere subject of Geometry, Algebra, whatever this even is, for the mere fact that he’s being held by a stupid instrument?

And what’s the grim reaper here for, anyway? To mock him? Doesn’t he have any cards to read? Restaurant owners to stalk? For goodness... “People these days are only relying on objects, tools and... No one puts true manual effort into their tasks nowadays, no one.” And with that, he concludes his tantrum, gesticulating wildly, before he sits back into the couch and huffs in a combination of feigned superiority and indignation... Until he turns his head and locks eyes with the grim reaper again, growing tense under the lack of response. “What? You try it. Do you know how to use it? Go on,” he leans forward, pushes the paper and compass closer to the angel of death and leans back again, arms folded across his chest, corner of his lips quirking up slightly at the mere prospect of being a witness to someone he perceives to be as equally savvy in this as he is. “Draw.”

[not-delicious-milk]

unspoken

pairing | fushiguro megumi x itadori yuuji, kugisaki nobara x zenin maki

content | um i think this counts as slow burn maybe, idk instrospection? sort of fluffy and sort of angsty? just two emotionally constipated bois and one (1) really bad wingman. or maybe a great wingman. depends on how you look at it. i think this is funny.

word count | 3.2k

form | oneshot

originally posted | 30 December 2020

author's note | i really wanted to make a joke about sukuna having 2 dicks but unfortunately there was no opportunity to. also i did all that research about heian period courtship and what did it amount to? like 3 sentences

He met Fushiguro's eyes, and balked slightly at their intensity. They always seemed to bore right through him, as if his skin was glass and Fushiguro interested himself more in what lay underneath. Not that there's anything he cares about in there.

"You're not hurt, are you? I did push you kind of hard."

Yuuji shook his head quickly. "No, I'm fine." He tried to set his mouth in a neutral line, like Fushiguro so often did.

Fushiguro nodded curtly, and turned to leave, back to where Ijichi was waiting with the car. Yuuji's fingers twitched.

or

yuuji doesn't know how to talk to fushiguro. sukuna "helps."

Fushiguro sure looks nice today. 

Yuuji sighed and looked away. He really needed to focus on the mission. There was a grade 2 curse somewhere on the premises of this abandoned building, and if he kept staring at Fushiguro, he'd probably get— 

"Look out!" Yuuji was only briefly aware of the curse's presence before he was aware of concrete, a dull throbbing in his side as he realized Fushiguro just saved him — again — and was busy siccing his Divine Dog on the curse that appeared while he was distracted. 

This is embarrassing, he grumbled to himself. 

You've got that right.

Yuuji did his best to tune out Sukuna's voice as he got up and into battle position. Fushiguro seemed to have the situation under control, so he focused on cleaning up the lower-grade curses swarming around them. 

Something flickered at the edge of his perception. This time, he wouldn't be caught off guard — Yuuji launched himself at the curse on the other end of the room, intercepting it before it had the chance to so much as look at Fushiguro.

"I didn't need your help for that one," scoffed Fushiguro as his Divine Dog slunk back into his shadow. "Honestly, I could have done this alone. Don't know why you insisted on coming."

Yuuji bit back a retort. "I need the experience, right?"

He met Fushiguro's eyes, and balked slightly at their intensity. They always seemed to bore right through him, as if his skin was glass and Fushiguro interested himself more in what lay underneath. Not that there's anything he cares about in there. 

"You're not hurt, are you? I did push you kind of hard." 

Yuuji shook his head quickly. "No, I'm fine." He tried to set his mouth in a neutral line, like Fushiguro so often did. 

Fushiguro nodded curtly, and turned to leave, back to where Ijichi was waiting with the car. Yuuji's fingers twitched. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Movie night was usually somewhat less stressful than fighting a curse. Usually. 

The film was something Yuuji was pretty sure Gojo-sensei had found at the very back of the clearance shelf. The DVD store probably paid him to take it off their hands. It wasn't even so bad it was good, it was just bad. 

Kugisaki had fallen asleep somewhere in the middle of the opening credits. At first, he'd been a little confused and concerned for her health — it was only 6 pm, after all — but sneaking a peek at her phone screen when it lit up intermittently afforded him all the clues he needed. Kugisaki had been texting Maki-senpai, probably for a while, and probably all night. 

Her phone screen lit up again — they were a few hours into the movie, and surely Maki realized she wasn't going to respond, right? Yuuji strained his eyes and recognized the thumbnail of what could only be described as a cursed image. Is that a floating banana? What the— 

Something stirred in his chest. Jealousy? Why? Because Maki and Kugisaki had only been texting for a couple of weeks, and they already shared inside jokes that made Kugisaki laugh like a hyena in the middle of the night? Because they never needed to ask, to confirm, before sharing something — a word, a bag of chips, a seat, a jacket? Because when Kugisaki looked at Maki, with that vulnerability in her eyes that she always disguised with harsh words and thinly veiled threats of violence, Maki looked back?

Yuuji couldn't stop himself from looking at the other person on the couch with him. Fushiguro looked like he was going to cry of boredom. Or punch someone. Or both. 

Should I switch the movie? I don't think he likes it. 

Well, Gojo-sensei picked it. He would probably be offended.

Yuuji looked around. His teacher was conspicuously absent. No way! He's the one who forced us all to watch this shit, and he just leaves before it's over?

"Hey, um…" The question was past his lips before he could stop himself. "Fushiguro, is there something you'd rather…" Yuuji already knew what his answer was going to be. There were plenty of things Fushiguro would rather be doing, let alone watching. Reading a book, for one. Alone. 

He received only a vague shrug in return. "Do whatever you want."

Yuuji found himself staring blankly at the floor. An oppressive silence blanketed the room, even with the vague sound effects and poorly dubbed dialogue coming from the TV. 

This is torture. Say something already.

I would if I could, okay? Unless you have any better ideas.

That managed to shut Sukuna up, at least for a moment. Good. All that was left was to sit through the last scenes of the movie and go back to his room and scream into his pillow. 

Yuuji could feel his forehead flushing and his eyes starting to burn. Oh, no no no no no. Why is this so awkward? At least Fushiguro can't see anything since all the lights are off. Or maybe he can see in the dark, like a vampire? Come to think of it, he is pretty pale… He's probably not saying anything to be polite. I bet he can see everything. I bet he's reading my mind right now with that stupid look of his. 

"I need to go to the bathroom," Yuuji said, a little louder and a little higher than he intended. Fushiguro only raised an eyebrow at him and went back to watching the screen.

As soon as he was out of the dorm common room, Yuuji sucked in a breath of air. 

"Coward."

This time, the cold voice he was so used to hearing came from the back of his hand. Yuuji didn't have anything to say in response. If he did, it would only be in agreement. How pathetic of him. 

"You're damn right that it's pathetic. It's a miracle you can even stand up straight, given your lack of a spine."

Yuuji was almost at the door to his bedroom. 

"I'll help you, just this once."

He froze. Since when did Sukuna help with anything?

"I don't believe you," he muttered.

An eye opened on his hand just to roll itself at him. "I'm the one who has to listen to your self-deprecating monologues, and I'm getting sick of it. Just tell him how you feel, brat." Sukuna's disembodied lips curled into a smirk. "If you don't, I will."

"No way!" Yuuji whisper-shouted. He practically sprinted into his room and, in the absence of a lock, pushed a chair behind his door to grant the illusion of privacy. But Sukuna wasn't done yet, and the next time he closed his eyes, Yuuji found himself ankle-deep in what he really hoped wasn't blood, and looked up a pile of ox skulls at the last person he wanted to hear romantic advice from. 

Sukuna absentmindedly picked at long, black nails. "Why don't you switch with me? I'll be sure not to embarrass myself, so don't worry about that."

"That's kind of creepy. Aren't you like, a thousand years old?" Yuuji wrinkled his nose. "Do you just want him all to yourself?"

Sukuna made a face. "Oh, that's disgusting." He made a retching sound, like a cat coughing up a hairball. "Imply that again and I'll kill you in your sleep."

Yuuji was, at the very least, thankful that the murderous curse sharing his body had standards.

"Now the image is burned into my brain. Look at what you've done, brat." Yuuji only recognized the sensation of being cut into pieces and immediately restored because of how many times his conversations with Sukuna had ended that way. Still, he stumbled a little at the sudden disorientation. 

"Hmm." Sukuna tapped his nails on a skull. "Brat, what have you been educated in?"

"Huh? Aren't you the one who complains about having to sit through my algebra classes? You already know what I'm educated in. Um," Yuuji furrowed his brow. "I took piano lessons when I was 8? Not that I was any good at it."

Sukuna sighed. "I don't care about your algebra or your piano lessons. I mean your courtly skills."

"Uh."

Yuuji heard the creaking of bone, and he was met with two pairs of blood-red eyes suddenly before him. 

"Calligraphy? Poetry?"

"No…?"

Sukuna leaned in closer. "So, nothing then? You know nothing?"

Yuuji pushed him away. "Um, you've seen my handwriting."

"Kids these days." Sukuna clicked his tongue. "How standards have fallen."

"You know, a lot of things have changed between now and when you were alive. For one, there's this new thing called personal space."

The curse ignored him. Yuuji blinked and saw the ceiling of his dorm room, back at home in his body. 

Do you at least have a brush, then?

No, weirdo. I have a pen, if that's good enough for you.

Tch.

Seriously, how are you this far behind? I thought you were starting to get this modern era stuff. 

I am trying to salvage the situation you've put me in, brat. How will you write a letter to him without putting care into your calligraphy?

Nobody said anything about a letter! 

This is how it was done in my time. You certainly don't have any better options.

"Fine, I'll Google it then," Yuuji mumbled. He opened his laptop, his fingers hovering over the keys. Slowly, he typed out "how to tell someone you like them."

The advice was all very vague. It was awkward enough to admit to himself that he liked Fushiguro in a way that went past friendship. It was worse that Sukuna's eye was wide open on his cheek and reading everything he did, reminding Yuuji somewhat of a teacher hovering behind him in the computer lab and reading over his shoulder. 

"It says you should give him a gift. I have an idea." Yuuji didn't want to hear Sukuna's idea. "You should give him the carcass of a beast you slew yourself." Yuuji didn't want to hear any more of Sukuna's ideas. 

"Sukuna, have you ever actually done this before? Because I don't think that would work, even if it was a thousand years ago."

"Why would I need to do such a thing?"

That was a little surprising. "Well, you sounded so confident, I thought you had experience or something."

"Love is a fruitless endeavor. The only thing that matters in this world is the spilling of blood upon the earth, and everything that comes between. But you're so annoying that I decided to stoop down to your level so I could help you. You should be grateful."

"Stoop down to my level? What, is this wounding your pride?"

"My pride isn't something so easily scarred. Hearing your constant chattering, all revolving around that Fushiguro boy, is much more painful than condescending to help you." 

"What's with the flowery language all of a sudden?"

"You really are uncultured."

"Well—" 

The sound of someone knocking at his door startled Yuuji out of his carefully constructed comeback, laced with a few choice words he'd learned from Kugisaki the last time she stubbed her toe. 

"Itadori? The movie's over." Oh fuck. "You left your phone on the couch." The doorknob rattled. 

"Uh, just a second!" Yuuji slammed his laptop shut and dragged the chair out of the way before opening the door.

Fushiguro blinked. "Itadori, were you watching po—"

"Nope! No, I wasn't," Yuuji said, fully aware that every word he spoke only cemented that conclusion in Fushiguro's mind. "I'm just going to take my phone now. See you tomorrow!" 

Yuuji grabbed his phone and made a move to close the door, but Fushiguro caught his wrist. His grip was firm and cool to the touch. 

"You've been acting strange lately. Did something happen?"

"I'm fine," Yuuji said automatically. His lips had probably memorized the shape of those words by now. 

"No, you aren't." Fushiguro's grip tightened a little, as if worried that Yuuji would try to snake out of it. I could try. I'm stronger than him.

"Itadori, look at me."

Shakily, Yuuji turned. Blue eyes met hazel. He felt naked somehow under the spotlight of Fushiguro's penetrating gaze. Oh god, that sounds so wrong. I don't want to think about that, not now.

"Is it something I said? Or did something else happen to you? I want to know." 

(It had nothing to do with anything Fushiguro said, and everything to do with what he didn't.)

Itadori. I need you.

"I said I'm fine."

"And I said you're not." Fushiguro sighed a little and closed his eyes. The flutter of his eyelashes was distracting. "I'm worried about you."

Fushiguro? Worried about him? 

"Why?" Yuuji knew it was a stupid question, but he was feeling pretty stupid at the moment. "Why would you do that?"

"Why—" Fushiguro's grip on Yuuji's wrist loosened in surprise. Yuuji twisted himself away, ready to cache himself in his room, but Fushiguro caught the sleeve of his hoodie instead. Worse, he stepped inside and uncomfortably close to Yuuji.

He could already feel his face turning red, and this time he couldn't rely on the cover of darkness. 

"You're seriously asking me why I worry about you?" Fushiguro's voice didn't sound quite as even as it usually did. Yuuji didn't let himself hope it was concern. "You died in front of me, Yuuji. I… I had nightmares about it for months. Of course I'm worried."

He didn't know if it was Fushiguro's sudden use of his first name, or the quiver that accompanied it, but Yuuji's blood froze. He couldn't move even if he wanted to. 

Fushiguro positioned himself in front of Yuuji, and placed a steadying hand on his shoulder. His sapphire-blue eyes, normally so cold and distant, glittered with repressed tears. Yuuji stared at his lips instead. They looked so soft. Fushiguro had been biting them again; they were slightly flushed and raw in some places. 

"Please." Fushiguro was barely whispering now, his words only meant for the two of them. "I don't…"

I don't want to lose you again.  

Yuuji opened his mouth to speak, but didn't know where to start. How could he claim insecurity now that Fushiguro had been so vulnerable with him? His anxieties suddenly seemed very small and pitiful in the face of the burden he'd saddled on his friends. It was his fault that Fushiguro was close to tears now, when he could face curses on his own without a flicker of fear. Dark, thick shame sat heavily in his throat, and all he could do was gasp for air. 

You should take off your shirt.

Indignation replaced guilt in one swift motion. I am not taking off my shirt. 

"Sorry, Fushiguro." The apology was too quick, too shallow. "I'm sorry. For… everything." The back of his throat stung. "I'm sorry for bothering you. Please, just…" Just go. Just leave me alone. 

Just leave me to die. 

"You don't have to worry about me."

It's only going to hurt you in the end.

"I'll be f—"

Fushiguro grabbed him by the back of the head, subtracting from the distance between their faces. "How many times are you going to say you're fine? Is it so hard to believe that I care about you?" 

Don't say it. 

"Is it so hard to consider that I—" Fushiguro's voice broke. A gentle flush crept across his neck as he seemed to realize how close their faces were. 

Yuuji's vision blurred around the edges. Time crawled to a standstill, and there was nothing but the slope of Fushiguro's lips, trembling with words unsaid. Yuuji could hear his heart beating in his ears. He wondered if Fushiguro could hear it too, and if he felt some small comfort in knowing that the heart he had seen torn from its body and discarded like offal had been restored, and that it could beat and bleed and break again. 

"Would you just kiss him already?" 

Yuuji would have liked to think Sukuna had kept that comment for his ears only, but the way Fushiguro reeled back and turned beet red confirmed otherwise. 

"Your purple prose is getting on my nerves. I think I preferred it when you couldn't string sentences together." The lips on his cheek curled. "Honestly, if you had just taken your shirt off like I said, this would have been over already. I should have done it for you."

"What do you have against shirts? Haven't you ruined enough of my hoodies?"

Fushiguro cleared his throat. "Um."

Yuuji's face burned. "Oh. Uh. Sorry about that."

"What is it with you and apologies? You don't have to be sorry for everything." But Fushiguro was laughing. His mask had cracked, or perhaps he removed it himself. 

Yuuji couldn't help but smile. "I'll stop being sorry when you stop acting like you don't need anyone."

Fushiguro's face darkened slightly, as if wrapped in a shadow. "Is that what it was? I—"

Yuuji punched him lightly in the arm before he could apologize. "You're so emotionally constipated." 

The tiniest of grins played on Fushiguro's lips. "So…" He leaned in closer. "What was that about kissing me?"

And this time Yuuji leaned into it, letting Fushiguro take everything he had. His eyelashes, still wet from almost crying, brushed against Yuuji's face as they breathed each other in. Yuuji found himself clinging to him like a lifeline, as if any moment he might slip away.

I'm not going to leave you behind.

He was laughing and crying at the same time. "I never thought you liked me back," Yuuji gasped when he broke away for air.

Fushiguro traced his thumb under Yuuji's eye. "You really are dense, you know that?" "So I've been told."

Is this what I was looking for?

Yuuji melted into him, kissing him like a drowning man gasps for air. How could he have deluded himself into thinking he was alone? How, when Fushiguro's body fit him like a puzzle piece, and they were embracing each other like they had never been separate? 

You're welcome. Brat.

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"You know, I thought you'd at least notice all the times I was staring at you," Fushiguro mumbled sleepily. Their rhythm had slowed and now Yuuji was small and limp in his arms, playing with a strand of his hair. 

"Nope. Not even once." A sea of drowsiness threatened to engulf Yuuji, but he stubbornly resisted, if only to stay with Fushiguro for a moment more. He suppressed a yawn. 

"Gojo caught me watching you train once. He tortured me about it for a week." Fushiguro chuckled softly. "Um, he takes a lot of pictures of you. If you ever find a really blurry photo of you sparring in my room, that's why."

"Mm-hmm." Who knew Fushiguro was so warm? 

"Hey."

Yuuji's gaze flickered up to Fushiguro's eyes. Oh, he thought. They're so open. I can see right through him. 

"I'm here. Okay?"

I'm not going anywhere.

"Okay."

Neither am I.

And there was nothing but Fushiguro's breathing, and the heaviness of sleep, and the weight of words unspoken between them. 

[kimberly-spirits13]

Right Hand Man (Loyal to the End) Pt. 9 (Final Part 😢)

Pairing: Damian Wayne x reader

Synopsis: You were like Talia’s daughter. The only thing was that you weren’t and instead, you had grown up in the foster care system and at a young age were taken by and personally trained by Talia. Along the way, you meet Damian and the two of you start to work side by side and eventually, after some time become closer and closer. However, when disaster in the league strikes, you face balancing an old, forgotten life as a normal child and the burden of right hand to the demon heir.

Note: I know that this is long and that there are a good number of time skips, but I didn’t want to make this into a series and just wanted it as a long fic because .... well because I can lol

Also, I didn’t want to have Damian so young in this so just go with it. I’m thinking maybe early 15 or almost 16 at the most. Idk I just don’t like writing for young Dami.

Warnings: mentions of blood, injury, almost dying, pit madness, angst 

Word Count:1285

Masterlist for Series

After Alfred removed the pipe that was in your stomach you started bleeding heavily. No one was ready for it and the amount of blood made it hard to work. Damian looked over and saw you bleeding out on the table and went into panic mode. He jumped up and started looking through your belt for something.

        “Damian- what are you...” Your eyes went wide as he pulled out a small glass of liquid, “You’re not going to do what I think you will are you?” You groaned.

        Talia had allowed you to have a vile of the pit just in case something happened and you needed to use it on Damian. If it was injected, it would be stronger so you always carried the proper supplies for it.

        “Pennyworth, a moment?” Damian pulled him to the side once you weren’t totally bleeding out, “She’s going to die isn’t she?”

        “Master Damian I- yes, she will die if something else isn’t done. I do not know what can be done.”

        Damian sighed, “We have to inject this into her, where ever the wound is. It’s a vile of the water from the pit. She has it to use for me, but, she needs it now.” “I’ll hold her down.”

        “Why ever would you have to...” Alfred thought about it before a long look came over his face, “I understand. Right away then.”

        Damian walked to you carefully, knowing you had an idea of what was to happen.

        “Dames, please don’t.” You whimpered.

        “Beloved, I know you hate it but it has to be done. I’ll be right here for you the entire time, you won’t be alone this time, I promise.” He said taking your hand in his, “Just let Pennyworth do this quickly and it’ll be over faster.”

        “Damian no!” You started crying, “Please not this, just let me die, please!”

        “Y/N, no you have to just listen to me. I’m right here, the entire time.” Damian said after Alfred put a hand on his shoulder.

        He pulled you to his chest close and held your hand as Alfred injected you with the stuff. Damian knew it would work, he just didn’t really know about what would happen to you after that. The issue of the pit’s madness might not be one here, however no one was entirely sure what an injection of it would do. He knew shortly after though.

        You screamed and cried into his shoulder almost not being able to breathe.

        “Make it stop please!” You begged, “It hurts, please!”

        “Beloved I’m right here.” He said, “I’m not leaving you.” A few minutes had passed and he knew from past experience that you’d be back in just a second. That didn’t make it easier. As you came off of the hallucinations and pain, you were silent. The silence was the worst part. It was like after all of that, you went into autopilot now just trying to figure out where you were and how to get topside. The sudden mental change was all too familiar but instead of waking up alone and in a cavern illuminated by the light of the pit, you woke under florescent lights that had been dimmed and a figure holding you tightly after Alfred had left. Your hands immediately found his hair and with the comfort and familiarity, your heart rate dropped to something normal instead of rushed.

        “Dami?” You blinked a few times, “Is it over yet?”

        “Yes beloved.” He said looking up, eyes puffy with tears in his eyes, “I’m sorry beloved, I just, I can’t... I don’t know what would happen if I didn’t have you with me.”

        “It’s okay Damian. It really is this time.” You sat up clutching your side some, “Doesn’t mean it won’t hurt for a little bit though.”

        “Here, let me help you.” Damian helped walk you upstairs to his room and wash your hair. With the number of wounds you had to have dressed and cleaned, you didn’t need a shower, just the rubble and dirt out of your hair. He pulled up a stool in front of the sink and held your head up and he washed the hair.

        You didn’t really know what to do or say, so instead you just sat back and let him take the lead for once. After drying your hair enough, you went and sat on his bed, him sitting behind you. He took sections of your hair and started braiding them over and over again.

        “I thought I was going to lose you Y/N.” He said, “You’re so stubborn.”

        You scoffed, “You’re one to talk demon.”

        “That is true General.” He remarked, “What you did was truly remarkable though.”         “I had to do it Damian. She was around the same age I was when I was brought to the league.” You said.

        “You should’ve seen the look on the mother’s face when I brought her back. She was so happy to see her.”

        “Well, at least if anything happened, a family would not have been lost tonight.”

        Damian didn’t respond, you knew he couldn’t because while he knew you were right, it pained him to think of you leaving him.

_______________________________________________________________________

        It was a few days later, your wound was healing rapidly probably just to leave a scar and sun was finally shining onto Gotham. Damian was out with the guys not of his own free will though. You were sure that when he got back there would be a ranting session about the dramatics of it all. Alfred had a day off right now and the rest of the family was gone. For the time, it was just you in the large house left alone to roam around as long as you wanted. With that silence and peace however, was an interruption. A knock at the door came and when you went to check, nothing was there but for a parcel sealed in wax addressed to you.

        You looked around knowing it was Talia’s writing and nodded before walking back inside and heading for your bedroom. Once sitting at your desk, you opened it up with the small knife you kept on you. Unraveling the letter that was set atop the actual package, you read it.

General Y/N,         I send this letter as an update to the league. Nothing has changed as the last one has arrived to your doorstep but for the slow process of filing through recruits once more. The attack was assisted by an inside source which is now being handled as seen fit. As for you, I have heard the news of your recent relationship with my son. I give you my blessing to continue, seeing as I have anticipated this for an extended amount of time. I also write this as a thank you for your recent near sacrifice. You have lived to my expectations dramatically and I see you were the right fit for this position. As such, I have obtained a second vile of the pit and sent it to you as a token of my gratitude.         Sincerely,         Talia al Ghul

      You smiled reading the letter before in code writing the important parts down in a leather journal you kept locked in a trick door on the third drawer of your desk. With the actual letter, you burned it in the fireplace which was already going. And with the ashes of the letter, you knew that this was the start of something new. You watched the rest of the letter disappear into the rest of the ashes and then headed outside for a walk in the sun, letting go of all of your issues for even a few moments of serenity.

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GUYYSS I’m so sad that the series is over 😭! I loved writing this series so much and I really hope you guys enjoyed it too! I’m planning on making some headcannons and spin off one shots for it that I’ve thought up of and I wanna play more on the singing part cause I’ve developed more for it. Anyways... I’m starting a new series or smt I think cause I miss this series like Algebra misses its x

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