#once i get my shit together i'll make a dedicated blog but for now

[falling-rhayne]

If you don't collect photocards of your Warrior of Light are you even playing FFXIV properly?

[sobredunia]

tell me about Fez, please, im looking through your blog and like, i am intrigued

please click read more for an unskippable cutscene

ALRIGHT SO.

FEZ is an indie game created by a (now hated on the internet) guy called Phil Fish. If you wanna find out why he's hated do your own research this isn't about him it's about his videogame

It came out on april 13th of 2012 (yes. homestuck day. i know), and it sold over a million copies by the end of 2013. I've tried finding how many copies have been sold up to this day in total but didn't find anything, but the general gist is that it was pretty much an instant hit, and people absolutely loved it, working together to solve its intricate puzzles even to this day. Yes, there are mysteries hidden in here that an entire community of dedicated fans still hasn't found the solution to 11 years later

(tiny warning here, do not play this game if you have motion sickness or are severely affected by rapidly changing images, there are whole areas that are a doozy to play through. Please stay safe!)

Gameplay

Fez has a singular core mechanic that remains unchanging throughout the entire course of the game, and that is the ability to change perspectives

this is what the game looks like, a 2d pixelated landscape with tons of beautiful colors

but.

this is what the game also looks like

that's right, baby, this shit's actually in 3d

you use this change of perspective nonstop throughout your adventure, to cross gaps like demonstrated in the gif, or to simply access places you couldn't in that current perspective. There are other tiny mechanics that get added, like invisible platforms, crates and buttons, bombs, timed platforms that disappear... they add a bit of flavor, but the main mechanic is always there

There's also a really big emphasis on puzzles towards the latter half of the game, but I'll get more into it later

Story motivations

Your name is Gomez, you are a tiny little guy living in a cozy 2d village that you have never ever left. One day, an old man named Geezer sends you a letter asking you to climb to the top of the village. There, a giant fucking cube appears outta nowhere, teleports you to a satanic ritual, then to the vaccum of space, speaks to you in a strange language you cannot understand, and gives you a free hat. Oh and also he explodes or something

After you're given the hat, the fez, you discover that the world is actually in 3d, and you can now change perspectives. You unlock the core mechanic

After that, you wake up in your room with the fez still on your head, and a being in 4d called Dot is sent from who knows where to tell you that the cube that gave you the hat is called Hexahedron, is actually technically kinda god, and you fucking killed him. Now, your mission is to pick up its 64 pieces and reconstruct him

You see all those tiny golden cubes? You have to collect 8 of them to make a bigger cube, and you need to collect 32 of those

Now hold on, I hear you ask, didn't you just say that you need to collect 64 pieces? Why are you changing your mind and saying 32?

Because, my dear friend, there is another type of cube that you have to also collect

These are called anticubes. Y'know, "a negative for every positive" type of stuff. You have to also collect 32 of those

The main difference between an anticube and a normal cube is that they aren't broken into 8 pieces, when you find one it'll be whole. You can also sometimes encounter full golden cubes btw, but they're rarer than its normal tiny pieces that you collect. Another main difference is that these cubes are much, much harder to find, and I'll go into detail in the next section

There's also this one hub area, with four doors that will only open once you have enough cubes (anticubes also count)

Once you open the door with 16 cubes, you'll enter this one town filled with people that aren't quite like you. In there there's yet another door that will open when you get 32 cubes, so get to gathering motherfucker, you got a long way ahead of you

Puzzles (anticube edition)

When you collect that first anti cube, there is no going back. The floodgates have opened and you are now too deep in. You know too much. You must see this to the very end, for better and especially for the worse

The puzzles in fez are actually surprisingly varied when it comes to difficulty and accessibility. Most likely, the first anticube you'll find will be in this one room. You'll scan the qr code and do the instructions it says, and then the horror of your new life will begin

But this is just the tip of the iceberg, because BOY OH BOY are anticubes convoluted to find in some cases

Sometimes you'll get them by solving relatively easy puzzles, like this one

others will require a bit more thinking, like this one

and then we have the hardest ones where you'll have to learn how to read words, numbers, and commands in the FEZ language

and these arent even the hardest bullshit puzzles the game will pull at you. it gets worse. it gets so much worse

Game ending

Surprisingly enough, you can get a game ending with just 32 cubes. In fact, it is literally impossible to get the 64 cube ending without the 32 cube one unless you have outside help, you know the answer to all puzzles, or you somehow get extremely lucky in a very specific number of rooms

Behind the 32 cube door there's a giant gate that, and I shit you not, teleports you into fucking space

Aliens are canon in the fez lore and they look like squids

Once you reach the top of the alien temple fucking thing, you enter an eye(?) and there you meet the shell of god, the Hexahedron. Since you haven't gathered all 64 cubes, it fails to reconstruct, and it breaks down. This part is pretty dangerous for people with epilepsy, by the way, as there's rapidly changing black and white colors. The 64 cube ending is a bit easier in the eyes, but yeah, just a heads up

In the 32 cube ending, you get sent back home, and you see how the town gets more and more pixelated. Then you see a weird sequence that's like those videos of people really zooming in into things and you see the particles and microscopic stuff?? idk. and then you see Gomez playing the drums :D

After that, you wake up in your room, still with your Fez, and the same sequence at the start of the game plays out. You go to the top of the village, Geezer summons a giant fucking cube, you meet god, but instead of getting another fez, you get cool glasses, that allow you to finally solve a batch of puzzles you couldn't see before and you can finally gather the last anticubes

In the 64 cube ending, the Hexahedron reforms correctly, and instead of zooming in, it zooms out. You see that your world is a tiny cube next to many tiny cubes, and then those tiny cubes form a 4d entity that looks just like Dot, and then those many Dots next to eachother zoom out until they're nothing but static, and then it looks like a tv is turned off, and then the credits roll

They're both very strange endings, and definitely not what a lot of players expected or wanted, but what can you do

Puzzles (hell edition)

NOW.

You thought that was the end?

You thought you could simply walk away scot free?

You thought that this game had no more last "fuck you"s up in its arse?

You thought fucking wrong

Because you know that something's not right

Because you're in too deep

You've played this far. You've scrolled this far.

You have to see how this ends

You have to tie up the last loose ends

You see this? This is the game's map. It actually has a really clever design! Not only are the icons for the areas cubes, but you can also change perspectives like how you do in-game! Pretty cool, right? There are also some small indicators you can see on the bottom left. They mark if you've left any cubes, bits, treasures, or locked doors. They also mark any secrets you might have left! And they turn golden once you've found everything there is in that room, including secrets

If you were normal (let's imagine that for a bit, okay?) and you got the 64 cube ending, that's it, right? You've gathered every cube, you've gathered every map (you need them to get all cubes), you've gotten every key and opened every locked door, that should be it, right? You have everything the game asked you to have, so the whole map should be golden, right?

...right?

No! :D you fucking fool, you poor summer child

In fact, there are three rooms left. Three rooms left with a secret symbol next to them, and one other special room

First, we'll talk about the special room

Once you gather 64 cubes, you'll be able to open a door hidden on an unsuspecting island and access this one special room

kinda weird, right? It has a tileset that appears nowhere else in the game, same with its background. There's also a strange transparent heart over it? Strange

Now, the three ungolden rooms

First, the observatory, the room with the easiest puzzle, at least in comparison with the other two

Second, you have whatever the fuck this is. In order to solve this one, you HAVE to know the Fez language, no ifs or buts. Not only that, but there's a high chance that you were reading the language the wrong way, so in order to have the remote chance to solve this mf you'll have to git gud and realise the error of your ways

And last, but definitely not least

The most infamous room in the entire game aside from maybe the heart room previously shown

This cunt

These three are the hardest challenges the game has to offer, no exaggeration. And also, the first two rooms can be solved at any point of your adventure, but for the third one you HAVE to have completed the 32 cube ending, no workarounds

Now, how to solve them?

If you go to the observatory at night, you'll notice two red blinking stars in the corner. They're speaking in binary code, with one being 1 and the other being 0. Then, that binary has to be translated into a buncha diff languages to be decoded, and once you're done you'll be left with a set of commands that you'll enter in the observatory to get a special red cube that not even Dot, the motherfucker in 4 dimensions that knows things beyond our comprehension, knows what it is

For the second room in fez language, you'll need to answer a question with the cubes provided to you. It's a weird thing where you have to mix this word with the name of the company who made the game, I don't know man. Once you've answered you'll get the second red cube

And now, the third room

Commonly denominated the black monolith room

Why is there no black monolith?

Because you have to make it appear

First, you have to get this burnt map

Behind it, there's a string of code that translates into commands

You need to get into the room, and use the special ability given to you in the 32 cube ending: first perspective mode

You'll have to stand in the tiny square inside this infinity symbol thing that doesn't have a line in it (basically, not the one the screenshot is looking at lol), and then you'll have to do the commands

Once you do it, the black monolith will appear

Okay, you did it

You put the code correctly

Now what?

This isn't a collectable. This isn't a red cube. This doesn't do anything. What is this? How do I solve this puzzle

You wanna know the answer?

Who fucking knows

No one knows the answer to this. No one knows how to solve this. The community solved this a week after launch by bruteforcing it. I shit you not they made a bot that spewed random fez inputs and people just tried them until they got the correct solution

No one knows how it's meant to be solved. To this day, people still go on the r/fez subreddit to give their theories on what the intended solution was meant to be

They have tried everything

The position of the candles, the boiler room, some other random ass rooms that look remotely similar to the black monolith room, a random shower room, it somehow being on a book in the game that's just filled with haikus??, some bullshittery mobius strip mental gymnastics, the other half of the code being in an abandoned airport in Arizona...

...whatever the fuck this is...

by far the most known theory was the release date theory

but that got disproven by one of the devs a few years ago

but anyways, we've already gone through insanity for long enough, it's time to be normal now

Once you've gathered all of the red pieces, they will appear in the heart room

that's it

we're done

.

..

...

....almost

there's a secret code

one that was actually intended to be datamined for once lmao

If you look at certain artifacts in the menu and you rotate them a certain way in a certain order, the heart will vanish and the screen will turn white

you'll be sent back to the menu, and if you load that save file and go back into the temple...

there will be nothing waiting for you there

that, my friend, is the true end of Fez

You wanted to know too much, you wanted to learn everything, to the point of wanting to tear open a creation that took blood, sweat, tears, and five years to complete. And now there is nothing. You ignored the game's boundaries of only wanting to let you know this much, and now the game is empty, the love is gone, and there is nothing left for you here

You can leave now, I hope you're satisfied

[theangryjikooker]

It's funny how your last update is about taking a step away from the fandom a little while for me, I'm taking my first step into this fandom space in three years. I became a fan in the DNA era and stopped keeping up in the persona era due to the pandemic, college being rough and my personal taste in music diverging from what they were putting out at the time. It's wild how I remember them last as versus how they've grown and changed since then, with Jin doing military service, and all of them doing their own solo stuff, which is probably the most distance they've had for the first time in years. Of course, they still work in the same company, but now they don't have to go everywhere together as a group to do promotions anymore for the foreseeable future. It's all just incredible honestly, how much I feel like I missed, despite me only really being a dedicated fan for a year and a half. Maybe that makes me less of a fan, but I think it's unhealthy to put too much of yourself in other people, especially people who you do not know personally, especially with how fervent some of these shippers get. It's even funnier when coming back, so many relatively big jikook tumblr accounts I used to follow back in 2019 for content have deactivated.

While away, I really did stop viewing jikook or any bts member in any particular "shipping" light, I basically went full disconnect mode. I do still remember how it was I got into bts and jikook at separate times, and how I felt when I stopped and just saw them as a successful kpop group I once was pretty invested jn. Coming back, I'm re-experiencing my adoration of these men and the fun memories they gave me, but I'm also fully aware once I get busy with life again, I will disconnect with them again. In a very similar way, I always viewed shipping as a personal interpretation of a one dimensional pov. We see maybe 1/10 of their lives at most, and it will inevitably grow smaller as they grow outward to their own destinies. Still, jikook is special to me, whether they're "together" or not, and I consider my shipping of them to be a fun past time more than anything. The shipping community online has always been quite contentious and toxic, even in fictional fandoms, I can only imagine how much worse that toxicity is when projected onto real people who have to see that shit. I wish that it weren't the case, but seems to be an inevitable fact of fandom, especially ones as passionate as bts's. Regardless, while I'm still here and watching what they do, I'll support them in my heart.

Anyways, not sure what exactly I was going with this, hope you do well in your irl endeavors! Your blog certainly is very thoughtful and in line with how I feel about bts and jikook in general :)

Well, welcome back! Although it's a bit odd for me to say, as I gather you may be more of a veteran than I am.

If it makes you feel any better, I've barely been gone that long, and already I feel like I've missed out on so much and that a lot of things have been happening.

I wasn't much of an ardent shipper before I left, and I would argue that I'm even less so than before. It'd certainly affect how I view some things going forward (unless I let myself be consumed by the same content and rhetoric over and over). As you mentioned, disconnecting from shipping and from this fandom overall can reset your perceptions (for the average person), and I wholly recommend it to anyone able to do so. Fandom has a way of turning people obsessive, which I don't find particularly healthy or inviting.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and just thank you in general for the kind words.

[femcel-interruped]

A Change

5/26/24 9:03PM

I created this blog dedicated to the ideal "boysober era" as they call it on TikTok. I found that during this time of daily blogging about being a lonely 21 year old girl made me feel worse in a way. I was dwelling. Meanwhile, I was being dismissive to men that seemed nice and wanted to get to know me. So I dropped this whole boysober blog thing for about a month and decided to let whatever happen, happen. I met someone, hung out a few times, then got friend-zoned. My ex who I lived with and I decided to cease communication indefinitely. Nothing bad happened, it was just time to let go. I went to California and hung out with a friend from home who now lives there and I developed a huge crush (that seemed reciprocated) on his roommate. The roommate ended up having a girlfriend who he did not mention once. I've been grieving that small instance as that same situation has happened before and it was extremely painful. But through this pain I have been actively rejecting my own common toxic coping habits that 100% of the time prolong my suffering. It is like ripping out teeth, especially for an anxiously attached hopeless romantic who overthinks everything. It has gotten to the point where I have thought more about this person than I've actually have had interactions with, and that's where I found a wound to patch up. This is just an example, but what I'm trying to say is-

If you are suffering emotionally from something you have conjured, find the parts that hurt and pay mind to it. Ask it why it's hurting, and no matter the answer, patch it up. In other words, replace the needle in the haystack that causes the huge ripple effect. Replace the coping mechanism that makes it worse for you with something more logical. The more honest you are with yourself, the clearer life and situations get. This is where I want to take this blog. I want to discuss more daily life emotional turmoil and how to better cope as I am also learning as a young adult woman living at home while taking years to get through college.

I think the most frustrating part of this time in your life (assuming you are also a lost young woman) is knowing that you have had it better before, and it feels like you are in a constant decline. I watch past memories of myself and I feel jealousy towards her because she has no idea how good she has it. She had bigger artistic aspirations, she had great romantic partners who were devoted to her, she was not worried about what she was going to do to fill in the day tomorrow to make it bearable, like she's working towards something at all. I have been feeling really aimless for awhile since I got home in December. My life was flipped upside down and I feel like I never fully got back on my feet in terms of direction in life. It's been six months and I am tired. I took a break from school which helped me learn a ton about myself as a human and how to take care of my brain better, but it also made things worse because I have had no structure, no purpose to my days. It looks really easy. No school, just work at the movie theater sometimes, live at home for free with home cooked meals, etc. I am a very lucky and privileged person to have all these things, but it does not create a fulfilled life. I am empty. I feel meaningless. I always felt I had a place in the world, a big one. I always took up so much space and was so loud with my existence because I believed in myself. I don't have that anymore. I spend my days posting random things on instagram and checking to see if one person saw it. I sit in this bed, maybe I'll spend too much money on a coffee I won't finish, and I overthink the entire day because I have way too much time on my hands.

I desperately need to sort out my life. I have discovered that we never stop thinking "I need to get my shit together." That can feel daunting or comforting depending on where you're at mentally. I find aging to be both of those things. I am so very young, but I've been listening heavily to the older women giving advice to younger generations. I think we shut them out too much. Older women who have welcomed aging mentally and physically are so valuable, yet we think that they are useless to us. We think they don't understand us, but you have to put that generational gap aside. One thing I have learned from studying philosophy is that a majority of the human experience is shared throughout centuries. Past generations understand the same circumstances that we all face in their own ways. It's important to listen to all of their stories with an open mind. Like they say in tarot card readings, "take what resonates, leave what doesn't." They have had their own unique experiences just like you, but it's all related. Have a conversation about your troubles with someone older, it will give you clarity and comfort that none of this is new.

Absolutely nothing about what you are going through is new in this universe. Take solace in that.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I wrote a while ago about how, for the first time in a while, I’m sort of approaching a point of not having a hundred things on my immediate list of comedy to see/hear, so I have room to add another big thing. Of course, since then I’ve added a bunch of little things, a few at a time, so I’m in no danger of running out.

The latest things I added were some Robin Ince and Michael Legge things. Which I group together because I know they’ve done a bunch of stuff together, but in this case, they were separate things. In the last week, have listened to a couple of Michael Legge things purchased of Bandcamp - Strawberries to Pigs audiobook and Halloween EP - and a couple of Robin Ince things purchased off Go Faster Stripe - his 2008 DVD, and his 2016 DVD, which comes with three separate files and several hours of material that's meant to be a kind of "best of" for his career until then. All things I can do now that I have a small amount of disposable income. Really not much disposable income, all that happened is I got a low-paying but consistent and reliable job, so I've gone from "can't spend money on anything but rent and groceries and a bit worried that I'll lose the ability to pay for that", to "it won't kill me if I drop $12 on an audiobook once in a while". But it does seem worth reiterating now that if people want to financially compensate comedians for their work that we take from them, Bandcamp and Go Faster Stripe are both ways to actually do that, as opposed to large corporate streaming platforms that pay them basically nothing and I don't feel guilty for taking from those.

Anyway. Really enjoyed my few days dedicated to Michael Legge and Robin Ince. They have a few things in common that makes you see why they put themselves together for various projects, like a comedy style of mimicking (or… maybe just doing) a stream of consciousness, frequent distractions and asides of the sort that don’t come off as hugely professional (I assume this sort of thing is why Robin Ince has named half his stuff “shambles”), being really angry about everything, and talking a lot about how much they like 80s music and 80s comedy. Also some differences, like Robin Ince talks a lot more about science and Michael Legge does a lot more shouting, and sheer visceral barely directed anger. Also I can't really picture Michael Legge meeting Richard Dawkins and Alan Moore. He maybe has met those people, it just seems to fit less well.

I wrote earlier this week about Michael Legge’s Halloween thing, but now know that his audiobook was very entertaining. It's him reading out a collection of his blog posts, from across about 10 years. Most of those blog posts being about seeing stuff in everyday life and getting angry about it. And then understanding the unfairness and pointlessness of his own anger, getting angry at himself for that. And then going back and forth between blaming himself and blaming everyone else, playing with this cycle really masterfully in a couple of stories in particular.

I’ve said before that a lot of comedians will admit to/affect little pockets of self-loathing for a particular bit, but the comedians who can take self-loathing and really do it properly, are more rare but very entertaining (to the point where I almost feel guilty for how entertaining I find that shit, I don’t want other people to be genuinely miserable for my entertainment, it’s just that if they’re going to be miserable anyway, I may as well get some entertainment out of it and they may as well make some Bandcamp money off it). Michael Legge definitely does it right. Or wrong, depending on your perspective. He does self-loathing right and life wrong.

It ends with an eight-part short-ish story, moving from blog post reading to fiction, that was also good. It started a bit slow, and early on I thought I could predict where it was going. That he was just using the premise of a store's complaints department to pick on some more little annoyances of everyday life, which was mildly amusing, but I was a bit disappointed, because I thought there wasn't enough in that to carry an eight-part story that took nearly about two hours to read. I won't spoil it all because I think people should get the book, but I'll say I was wrong, it picks up quickly after the first couple of parts, and and gets really good.

Robin Ince was someone I'd heard in a few different places before, and I knew his reputation. Science guy (and relatedly, atheist guy), book club guy, shambles guy. Has hosted events with other comedians and musicians and scientists and important thinkers/writers and Alan Moore (honestly, I think I'm more impressed that that he's hosted Alan Moore than some of the Nobel Prize winners), to celebrate intellectualism. Is the exact guy other people are talking about when they complain about self-righteous, snobbish, self-proclaimed intellectual comedians, who are preachy about their atheism and brag about how smart they are and do routines about how they're better than anyone who's religious or doesn't read Carl Sagan. The thing about all those complaints is they kind of just make me more interested in seeing the comedians in question. And now that I've seen his DVDs, I can confirm... yep, he's exactly what they complain about.

Some undefined number of years ago, it might have been different. I actually don't think we should all look down on all religious people (at least... that's what I think as a theoretical principle, I'm a bit uneven about how well I can maintain in this in practice). And I'll be honest, I have never read Carl Sagan. I was shit at science and math in school. I barely made it through the hard science-y courses that I had to take for my psychology degree in university, making up my poor grades there with better ones in the courses that were more about research and writing. I am in no position to look down on anyone who doesn't fully understand that shit.

However, I do support the glorification of people who are at least trying to understand. The idea that those of us who don't understand should look at those who do and say "Wow, in this one specific way you are, in fact, better than me, I'm glad you exist so the world can get better." Some undefined number of years ago, I felt like this was the default position in society, so pushing it too hard could feel a bit self-righteous.

But for the past undefined number of years, there has been such a massive anti-intellectual backlash, such a smearing of experts as elites that are trying to force you to think about stuff and we shouldn't listen to them, that Robin Ince feels refreshing. It does feel like saying something unusual and powerful and exciting for someone in popular entertainment to say "I think we can do better than just not giving a shit. Giving a shit about some things that actually matter is cool and probably important." I makes me think of a David O'Doherty bit where he complains about reality TV, and says he knows people's argument is they know it's bad but just want to turn off their brains, but maybe people spend too much time turning off their brains these days, and brains are important, and should be switched on more often.

Does he always do it perfectly? Maybe not literally 100% of the time. The 2008 DVD has a couple of bits where he's pretty specifically going after people from working class backgrounds. But I didn't see anything like that in his 2016 DVD, which suggests he's grown out of that stuff, which is fair enough. You cannot hold people to everything they said in 2008 (also it was only a couple of bits, most of that DVD was good).

Anyway, I really enjoyed the Robin Ince DVDs. I enjoyed the glorification of shit that matters, and I enjoyed all the jokes he found within it. The way he didn't need to stop and justify everything, he started with the idea that his audience was on board, and then set about mining the humour in stuff he likes. And it wasn't all Carl Sagan. There was some parenthood stuff that was nice and funny and short enough to not annoy me (I think that's the trick with parenthood stuff, I can laugh at it a little at a time, not so much if it's the focus of a long routine). There were a few absolutely spot-on Stewart Lee impressions. And one of the files that comes with the digital purchases features a performance by the brilliant English folk singer Grace Petrie, whose music I heard years ago (I think I bought one of her albums at a folk festival somewhere) but not for a long time, this DVD reminded me of her existence, and I think I might be in love with her, so that's fun.

[kileyrose-2003]

Tina’s Tuesday Night Mini Fic Pt. 1

Word count: Who cares? Lol

A/N: Hi lovelies! I am back!! First thing, I know. You're probably saying Kiley, wtf? It's not Tuesday. I know. Life happened. I've had a busy past few days and a final today. Anyways, this was something I did with @merci-bitch when the U.S originally went on lockdown. It was a fun way to keep me busy and get my mind off of stuff. We both decided to restart this about a week ago. So, I dedicate this to my dear friend Tina. Love you hun and hope you enjoy this! And please, if you haven't been to her blog to read any of her work, go do so. She works so hard on what she writes and is amazing.

Pt. 2 will be coming next week

To everyone waiting on fics: I'll get there. Eventually. And I'm not going into reasoning. But anyways, love you all and I hope you have a great day!

"...This is the greatest show!" You slammed your hands down on the piano keys and breathed in sharply. "God damn it, Jenny!"

"What?" You let a groan and handed her the sheet music. "Look there at that line there. Do you see that note?”

“I can see, can’t I?” Her bright green eyes lost their cool shade of arrogance when she seen how pissed you look. "Not F!” You pointed to the paper in her hand. “D! You hear that note there?" You pressed down on the key repeatedly. "D!"

"Sorry." The red head smiled at you impishly. "No, you're not. This is the fifth time we've done this and yet you still insist on doing this your own way." She sat next to you on the piano bench and gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Well, I think the change makes it sound better.”

“Phineas liked it better this way,” you seethed through gritted teeth. “But what does he know of art?” You could feel your face slowing turning a distinct shade of cherry red and you bit down on your tongue.

"He must of known something with how much you tried to get in his pants," you mused to yourself.

You rolled your eyes. You loved Jenny to death but how you couldn't stand her at times. You tried and tried so desperately to get along with her and compromise when she was like this but no matter what you did, she was stubborn and so..cold at times.

Sure, Jenny was a bit of a snob but she was a genius when it came to music and you respected that. She was what inspired you to take up music in the first place.

Your childhood was far from easy. Before you even joined the circus, you were bounced all over the place. You never belonged anywhere. From the deteriorating cottage in a small, seaside village in Sweden to the cramped one bedroom apartment in London that no one would dare walk past at night. Your father was no where to be seen and your mother was an actress, always struggling to meet ends meet. She was never home, but that wasn't always a bad thing. That meant you got to explore.

That was how you got to hearJenny sing for the first time. Hiding out in the musty attic of an old Swedish theatre. Even before she hit extreme levels of fame, her voice was like a siren's call. Drawing you in further and further in. It still was in a way. She was so beautiful and even as much as she pissed you off, you loved watching her sing. Like the time at the palace. She was eye candy in that dress, the way it hugged her hips and how the bust showed the slightest bit of clevage when you looked at her at just the right angle-

"Stop it, Y/n!" You told yourself. "She's not interested in you."

Or was she? The way she looked at you when you spoke to Phineas was always with such contempt or such jealousy. You could never understand why though. It was her who tried to steal Phineas away. Not you. He was a close friend who gave you a chance when you had nothing and you never so much as even thought of eyeing him in such a manner. Phineas clearly wasn't interested in her or any other woman but his wife. He pushed her away numerous times. Jenny had no reason to be jealous of you. Yet, she was.

‘But it is of me or others though?"

One could never be sure with Jenny. Sure, there was a bit of a rivalry between the two of you when it came to music. But she was your friend. 'Very clingy for just a friend,' you noted.

'That's normal though, isn't it?'

Maybe you were just over thinking things. Besides, the relationship between the two of you seemed to be getting better lately. Ever since the scandal went public, it seemed the two of you were spending more and more time together.

You were the only one who listened to her side of the story, held her when she cried, made sure she wasn't drinking her emotions away, and tried to help her through it. Even as much as she pissed you off. You warned her in the first place not to seek out Phineas but despite the nasty arguments, the constant bickering she became your friend. Maybe even your best friend. Which you got alot of shit for.

Nobody liked Jenny and you were starting to get the feeling you weren't so popular anymore either. Everyone thought after the affair went public, the two of you would of left. Her name as well as yours, was slandered all over the paper simply because you associated with her. You had been called it all. The ring leader, the mastermind, the mistress to the two.

But neither of you resigned. Yet. Part of you wondered how long it would be until either would receive letters of negotiations to end your contract. But either way, you knew Jenny wasn't leaving without you. She promised you that.

'So maybe she does like me.'

Then that small voice came in the back of your head. 'Or maybe you just want her to like you back.'

Either way, you couldn't let that haunt your conscience for now. Even as much as you'd like to visualize a future with her, it wouldn't work. You could feel the heat pooling into your cheeks as you came back to reality and bit down on your lip. Jenny's hand was lingering up and down your back, rhythmically making shapes with the tips of her fingers. Damn her and her touch! You shouldn't be feeling this way.

"Are you okay?" You shook your head and covered your face with your hands, trying not focus on all the pain you felt inside. "No. No, I’m not."

You felt tears burning in the sides of your eyes. "This isn’t working!” Jenny furrowed her brow and tried to move your hands away from your face. “What do you mean?” She was trying to be gentle even though you could tell from the look in her eyes she had no clue what to do.

“This..all of this!” You ripped the sheet music out of her hand and flung it on top of the piano. “Something's got to give,"

She rolled her eyes as if she seen it all before and stood up, walking hastily over to the ice bucket. "Do you not have what you want?" She opened up a bottle of red wine. "Fame? Recogniton?"

"It's not enough and I don't know if I even have any of that anymore." Jenny eyed you as she poured the liquor heavily into both glasses. "I'm not liked here, Jenny."

She handed you your glass and sat down next to you. You eagerly took a sip of the wine, just wanting to forget everything for a little while. "That's not true. I like you." She leaned in closer to you.

You cracked a small grin filled with cynicism. Maybe even a little bit of hostility. Never had you felt so much love and hate towards someone at the same time. "We could both leave." Jenny's voice pulled you out of your head.

"And go where?"

"Back to Sweden with me for the time being." You noticed the intensity in Jenny's eyes growing and she reached out and grabbed your hand. You could feel her nimble gently squeezing into the palm of your hand. "You know I care for you, Y/n."

"Do you?" You tried your hardest not to sound sarcastic, you were still a little mad at her. But god! How close she was to you. You could smell her expensive perfume, see the slight hint of a shimmer radiating off of her lips. "You're fiery and you don't take my shit."

This couldn't be real. You had to be dreaming. "Jenny, this...there's a possibility this couldn't work." You tried to scoot away from her, a little intimidated by the proximity between the two of you.

"We can try to make it work."

"How?" You eyed her skeptically. "Let me take you out. Let me show you I can make this work." You furrowed your eyebrows. "Why? Need a new fling after Phineas?" You teased.

Jenny wasn't amused by that all. If anything she was pissed but she smiled anyways. Seeming to stoop down to your level with a smile that was sickly sweet. "More like a date."

"And why should I do this with you?" She let go of your hand and placed it on your thigh. "Because I probably understand you alot more than you think." As you looked into Jenny's eyes, you found some level of sincerity mixed into those deep lustful orbs. You wanted to trust her so badly.

"What do I have to lose?" You thought.

Everything. Everything to lose.

"Fine." You gave in, despise everything in your mind screaming not too. "But you have one shot and one shot only."

Jenny nodded and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on your cheek. "And it won't take me more than once to impress. After all, I already made your career." You felt the hair on your arms stand straight up as her hands lingered on you, gently squeezing your hips.

"I'll see you tomorrow at 6. Sharp."

"Yeah," you watched as Jenny walked away, her hair flowing behind her like a beautiful sheath.

You felt a pit growing in the depths of your stomach. What the hell had you gotten yourself into?

[revasserium]

I’ve just spent an hour reading through some of your stuff and I just wanted to say WOAH they way you’re write is so intriguing I love it so much, it’s almost poetic 🤍

ahh thank you darling <3 

omg omg omg omg grey gardensofnf that was so beautiful YOU WROTE THAT SO COLOURFULLY?? it was like I was seeing colour for the first time myself just reading a black and white screen. ohhh it was so beautiful I just wanna frame it 😍😍

yes i rly loved writing grey gardens u__u i like that kind of weird wonky thing hehee so im glad you enjoyed it too! 

You’re writing is so entrancing and beautiful, it’s just so lovely to read so many beautiful words put together in such a pleasing way ahhhhh I especially love how you write Sugawara because 🥵I’m convinced he’s not as innocent as people make him out to be

oh he DEF is noT. all his interactions with other people -- the way he can tell daichi off, but NO ONE ELSE can. the way he just punches asahi in the stomach to exorcise him of his NEGATIVITY. the way he weedles kags and hinata ugh -- so much GOOD SHIT. he’s such a hot, snarky, freAK.  nothing says innocent about that okay. nothing. NOTHING. and i shall keep writing him as such hahaha 

he’s one of my all time fav haikyuu characters so!! im super glad you like my portrayal of him! :D 

can i just say i am so in awe and envy of your writing??? you found a way to balance out poetic description with storyline plotting that it seems natural and it's absolutely beautiful?? i truly inspire to write similar to you one day but for now i'll just continue to read your wondrous works.

ahh thank you u_u it honestly is just the product of a lot of reading and writing as a child! you can do it too! hahah just put in the effort, read a lot, write a lot, and you’ll get there too darling 

HI I've recently found your blog and oh my gosh!!! your writing is astounding on all levels and I'm in love?? your descriptions are gorgeous and teeter on the edge between mystical and tangible (if that makes sense?) regardless, I thoroughly enjoy your writing and I hope you know I love you

thank you!! u__u it does! ive been told that my writing is kinda “flloaty” (or in hinata speak ‘fwuahhhh’ LOL) so i get what you mean! i’m super glad you enjoy and hope you continue to as well! :D 

I don’t even know what to say, your writing always leaves me speechless and I just want you to know that I will support you and this blog till the end 😭💜 like the amount of love and good vibes and positivity you and this blog radiates really does make a difference in my life 😭💜🥺

ahh im so so glad! im glad that it’s been able to be a little reprieve in these strange and uncharted times u__u and i hope you continue to find bits and pieces of happiness in it. wherever i can provide it. <3 

You’re writing has me blushing and crying all at once it’s so dreamy and beautiful PLUS you write Sugawara as a freak 🥵you are truly an angel

the angle to suga’s dEVIL u mean u___u LMFAO i kid. but thank you! i rly do love suga so im super happy that so many people seem to like my depiction! 

Your writing is just so aesthetic and I love it so much that is all have a wonderful day 🥺

u__u thank you so much darling <3 

hey! just wanted to say that i saw some of your writing today and decided to have a read through lots of your work. i LOVED everything I read and the way you write is so beautiful and i really enjoyed your work, never stop 🤍

oh!! im glad you enjoyed enough to do a mini-binge haha if you have thoughts, let me know! <3 

i have a note in my phone dedicated to this blog. literally it’s just full of some of my favourite sentences you’ve written because they make my heart so full and warm and I never want to forget them or lose them somehow :’)

ahhhh that’s so cute!!!! u___u im very honored. and thank you for taking the time to send in such a lovely note! 

ot sure if you listen to Sleeping At Last but your writing gives me the exact same feeling I get while listening to his music 🥺 (particularly the songs Saturn, Heart, Light & an instrumental piece called Perseid Meteor Shower haha)

oh! i do not know that band unfortunately, but i will def look them up! :D im very bad with like. keeping up with music/finding new music etc lol so i’ll def look into them! 

Just reread your hinata prompt while listening to the song “distance” by christina perri

oh~ i don’t know that song! but did it go well? :D 

[thelocalshooter]

The Local Shooter Vs. B-LIFE

(LS) Hello thank you being apart of a great come up and welcome, may we get a small introduction for the people reading who don’t know who you are, where are you from? Who are you? And what do you do?

(B) I'm B-L1FE or B to most. I am an Indiana native but for the last 4 years I've been in the Houston, TX area. I do everything except make beats. I'm a recording artist myself, I engineer, DJ, design, visuals, animations, curate. To add to all that I'm also the CEO of my own record label, FAITH×VICTORY Records. I also am the CEO of three other companies: SupportArt which is a promotion company that also houses a collective, and MeditatedMerch which is my clothing line. There is stuff I'm missing I'm sure but I'm basically the one stop shop for good underground business.

(LS) Being a Texas native how do you feel that the music scene has impacted you and your creativeness?

(B) The scene in the H has never really impacted me much but surround regions have amazingly unique sounds that are almost nice accents to a style like mine that blends hip hop with metal and alt rock. The Dallas FT. Worth area is full of this new wave sound that people like Jah or $not really helped catapult. Then south Florida is known for the wild hype sounds they give us like Pouya. I think these regions influenced me by just kind of telling me hey its ight to let go and just be me. I used to be signed under a different stage name and to be honest it was all bullshit. All the rules and what they wanted me to be. This area in general just let the monster loose I guess you could say.

(LS) You also run a blog on your own called supportart where its a platform for many creative artist in the underground, how did that come about and how long have you been running it?

(B) We are gonna be two years old in June which is unreal. We house 20 artists at the moment including myself. It honestly all started as a group chat of artists trying to put together a collective mixtape. Most people didnt come through but it actually opened a networking portal that led us to our first client who was King Kap who at the time was signed to Quality Control. We continue to work with him to this day and alongside the leaders I make the calls with (Yung N ICy, Fat Daddy J, Psych Ward, Penny the Shabba, Waveon, wa55up, & Kaster) we just had the flood gates opened on us. Alot of trial and error but never once have we been exposed or finessed. We work hard for the underground and have new ways coming soon to showcase hidden talent.

(LS) you seem to be a jack of all trades with graphics, producing, and much more! What do you feel is your strongest creative outlet for you and why?

(B) All the other crafts came from being a recording artist. I think I truly shine there. Away from the art and visuals, I've had some pretty big accomplishments as the rapper B-L1FE. Sometimes I forget to push my own stuff when I'm so busy pushing the underground or my artists. In 2019 I dropped my first and sophomore album which did well. Underviews did an article naming me a young mogul. I made the underground freshman list which was amazing to be with the likes of GNAR, Lord Xan, 916frosty, and more. But if anything compares it's my graphic design. I've been doing design since I was 14 and I'm almost 28 now. I still have every graphic I've done and my portfolio now have close to 6000 pieces. It's the main reason I could leave the day job life behind.

(LS) You also happen to be on all major platforms with a couple single releases, where did you first find your passion for music? Also how did you know that it was going to be a career for you?

(B) My parents didnt really do much parenting but they did raise me around terrific music. I have right now I believe 83 songs on all major platforms which is quite a bit since my contract from the previous record label didnt expire until April of 2018. My parents raised me around Dr. Dre, Bone Thugs, Snoop, Nas, Destinys Child, Master P, and all the greats. So I had this around me so much at 12 I started writing structured songs and didnt even realize it. Football was passion #1 but when I decided to rescend my commitment to Eastern Michigan University, I started toying around with being in a band. After awhile my vocal cords suffered from pure metal music. So I turned to rap which was also like a hobby. Then once I began to network in around 2012 I noticed I had something alot of others didnt. So it was then I knew. The rest was waiting for the contract I signed stupidly to expire. My biggest influences would be Chronic 2001 by Dr. Dre and Hybrid Theory by Linkin Park.

(LS) Your most recent single regurgitate and there’s a single called “Welcome To Hell” which did amazing numbers on Twitter! What was the whole process behind those songs and why did you pick that specific song to shows case the project?

(B) The process behind these two singles were both random to be honest. I put out my second EP back in December and wanted to take my time on my third album so I do what I call SINGLE SZN. I drop a new song on major platforms every week. It started with my first single of 2020 which was 'Never' and 'Welcome to Hell' was the second. With that one it was Angry Orphan's concept (featured artist) and he sent me his parts and a rough idea and I thought since we both are lyrical artists let's do what Em and Royce do when they collab and take these same schemes but change our words and small parts of our flows. It made a very cohesive song. The marketing is always the same for me. I let people know way before something drops that it's coming. The main key is promoting stuff more than once. So many people drop a track, run it through some group chats for that day, and then leave it to die. You gotta keep pushing content towards people. With 'Regurgitate' I hadn't even planned a part of it. I woke up to an email from SupportArt's head engineer, Penny the Shabba, that two beats. One was the beat for that song. Wrote it in 15 mins recorded it mixed it, he mastered it while I did the cover, and within 4 or so hours a full song was ready and off to distrubution.

(LS) What’s a regular day in the life of B-LIFE? Do you wake up in the morning go to the studio? Do you wake up in the morning and start interviewing people and check on your blog? What is the first thing you do when you wake up?

(B) The minute I wake up I need a shower. Cant start the day right without it. My studio and everything is at home so I just go off my daily planner. I keep everything written down including my own personal stuff and I usually pick whatever project I really dont wanna do to start. That way I'm getting through the 'blah' jobs with full energy and the shit I'll enjoy doing I save for later when I'm drained. Usually first thing I do business wise is touch base with my team. We use telegram so we can avoid social media. We a family so they come first. Next is clients. Always touch base with any clients waiting still or people I may have had halfway to the payment phase.

(LS) juggling music, blogs, graphics, and also a clothing brand how do you know when to find time for each creative outlet? Do you set a certain schedule for certain things? Do you have a certain day for certain things how does that work for you?

(B) I wish I knew. Everyday is dedicated to everything. I didnt want to say okay Tuesday we design only covers and logos but sell 5 videos the night before that Tuesday. I ask my clients for deadlines and bundle clients I tell them the timeframes. To be honest my turnaround is so quick and I've done this for so long I do it super fast. Some AMV clients get their video back in an hour with their mind blown. I try not to look at it as such a big work load. Whenever I do feel overwhelmed then its time for like 30 mins on the xbox or a jog. Somehow I never run out of creativity which certainly helps.

(LS) What’s your main goal as far as music? Do you plan on getting signed, are you looking to stay independent? Is music even your full on passion or are you looking to stay more on the blog and manager/artist development side or what is your main goal?

(B) Main goal is to get my label signed how Travis Scott did with Cactus Jack. It keeps the artist safe and in it's own way allows you to stay independent but with proper funding. Music is the main passion. I never say I manage my artists. We push them to build their own brands and we help them with that. I'm simply just keeping a platform all about love. The rest does it's own thing all by itself. Truly amazing.

(LS) Thank you again for being a part of this great come up, is there anything else you would like for the readers to know about you? Or should we keep our eyes peeled for anything to come in 2020? What are some links that you can share were new readers can go ahead and find your work?

(B) You can find everything related to be via my linktree which is linktr.ee/lifewitha1

Album 3's first single drops May 1st and you can already pre order it on Apple Music. Its titled 'Bob Ross' and ensomber produced it. Tune in. Tap in. We out here not just for us but for everybody with the it's always love approach. Just dont get shit twisted haha. You can find me everywhere but soundcloud. Bless up everybody and much love to The Local Shooter. Houston we strong!!

The Local Shooter Vs. B-L1FE