#once again featuring Voryn’s brothers fucking it all up

[trickstarbrave]

This is so long I’m sorry

Modern au I haven’t named. Pregnancy trope.

This came out too long I’m sorry I have just been laying in bed writing

Nerevar’s mom is kind of a milf in it tho.

Nerevar stared down at the stick of plastic on his bathroom counter, his gaze flicking back and forth between it and the instructions that came with the kit.

Two blue lines stared back at him, almost mockingly, as he made double, triple sure at what the instructions said. Then, for good measure, he pulled out his phone and googled what it meant if one line was kind of faint.

The results did not offer him any respite. Despite his bargaining and hope to deny what was in front of him, he couldn’t ignore what it meant. He turned his phone off, slumped, and quickly slid down to sit on the bathroom floor, head in his hands and breathing labored.

Positive.

Nerevar Mora was, in all likelihood, pregnant. He’d need to go to a doctor to check, but he didn’t have much faith in the test being wrong. Google had also informed him that the chances of it being a false positive were less than 1%.

He always prided himself on having a plan. Even if he didn’t have one, he had faith in most situations he could figure something out. He was confident, headstrong, and self assured. But right now he didn’t feel like any of that; all he felt was fear and apprehension, completely at a loss of what to do.

The thought occurred to call Voryn and let him know, his phone in his hands as he hovered over the contacts button, but he didn’t even open it to look at Voryn’s number let alone call him. What if it was just a false positive? Nerevar was on testosterone; maybe that was interfering with the test somehow? He honestly didn’t even think he could get pregnant on T, but google informed him he could, which is why he bought the test in the first place (which gave him horrible dysphoria the whole time, even if the woman at checkout likely thought he was a cis man buying it for his girlfriend or something).

Did he even want the kid? It was a hard question to answer. Nerevar had always wanted a family of his own. Sure, his mom wasn’t dead, but they weren’t particularly close either for a good chunk of his life. He was smart enough to go to a boarding school, got into fights constantly at his old place, argued with his uncle, and wanted to get away from it all. It was there that he met Voryn when they were kids, quickly becoming close friends with him. As dumb as it was, having a kid was something he did genuinely want; a kid he wanted to be a better parent to than his own mom had been to him. She wasn’t abusive, nor was she ever mean or dismissive or neglectful, she was just not an affectionate woman. She was a bit cold, not just to Nerevar, but everyone, and her family couldn’t understand why she would choose to have a kid with Nerevar’s father.

He wanted to have a family on his own terms with someone he loved. He wanted a baby, even though he knew this was not the right time. Part of him worried about what Voryn’s response would be; Voryn wasn’t cruel either, at least not to Nerevar, but…

Well, having a baby always complicated things. This wasn’t something a couple could just agree to disagree on. Either Voryn agreed and wanted a kid with him, or he didn’t. Voryn could say now wasn’t the right time and he should get an abortion, but if Nerevar was honest, he didn’t think there was ever going to be a ‘good’ time.

Nerevar loved Voryn dearly, but he didn’t think their relationship was going to work out long term, baby or not. He had already submitted himself to this around the time they started dating. When Voryn confessed, Nerevar had felt the same way and the two agreed to go out, but Nerevar thought it was puppy love. The two could be highschool sweethearts, but Nerevar wasn’t stupid; most people did not marry the people they dated in school, and even fewer of those marriages lasted very long if they did get married. You grew and changed a lot as you entered adulthood, and what you wanted in a relationship changed. And that was only made more extreme with the fact Nerevar and Voryn came from two very different backgrounds.

Voryn was the son of the prestigious Dagoth family, very wealthy and successful, and was all but certain to take over the company despite being the youngest son of the family. Nerevar meanwhile was the son of an MMA fighter and the bastard son of a wealthy business owner, born out of wedlock. The guy would have probably been a good father, but he died when Nerevar was only a baby after being hit by a drunk driver. His mom had money set aside and a great life insurance payout from his dad, not to mention one of his dad’s siblings gave her his dad’s would be inheritance (which was less than what the others would have gotten), but his family wasn’t rich. He had a college fund and a safety net in case something went wrong, his mom could retire comfortably, and that was about it.

It wasn’t hard to figure out Voryn would move on. He imagined after they went off to college, between studying and working at his family’s company to learn the ropes, Voryn would realize he wouldn’t want to do this forever. Already Voryn’s brothers didn’t like Nerevar and only tolerated their relationship because the two of them were young. Family and social pressures to find a good spouse would wear him down and he’d break up with Nerevar in search for someone that fit in with his life plan, leaving Nerevar as nothing more than a pleasant memory of simpler, carefree times.

And that wasn’t getting into the fact Nerevar didn’t know if he would be able to have kids in the future. It wasn’t uncommon to just get a hysterectomy after so many years on T. While other people ran off and had kids in their late 20’s, the time to have it for Nerevar might pass before he found someone else to settle down with.

But a baby would make their situation already so much more difficult. What kind of scandal would it be for the heir to the Dagoth family to have a baby out of wedlock with someone like Nerevar? Voryn wasn’t a major celebrity, but people in upper class social circles would talk. It would also get in the way of future marriage prospects if he had an ex and a baby already under his belt from when he was 18. Even if they broke up amicably, when Voryn eventually remarried his new spouse might not look too kindly at Nerevar’s child, wanting to insist Voryn disown them and cut them out of the will entirely or act like an evil step parent if Voryn had shared custody.

Nerevar hadn’t considered any of this. If he knew this might happen, he would have gotten a fucking IUD or implant like Vivec said he should have. But Nerevar thought it wasn’t necessary as he was on T and they always used a condom. Even if it broke, like it did 2 months ago, he didn’t think much would come of it. And now he was in deep shit, not knowing what he was going to fucking do.

Instead, he dialed the number for his doctor’s office, making an appointment. He wanted to make sure he was pregnant, and after that he would figure out what he was going to do. Maybe he could test the waters with Voryn by hinting at the situation somehow, and play it by ear. Right now at least he wanted to trust that he and Voryn could figure this out. They could write up an agreement, speak with Voryn’s mother, and if he had to move away and cut the relationship off here then so be it. But he wasn’t going to tell Voryn until he knew for certain.

--

Vivec had come with him to the appointment, slouched in the chair next to the exam table Nerevar was seated on.

“Most people take the potential father to these appointments, Neht.” Vivec said, deadpan. He had been snarky the whole time, but insisted on going with Nerevar so he didn’t have to do this alone. “Or at the very least, their parents.”

“My mom is several states away and I already told you I don’t want to tell Voryn until I know for certain.”

“But you’re going to have to tell him, you know that, right?” Silence followed, as Nerevar stared down at his hands, twirling his ring nervously.

“I know.” Nerevar sighed. “I just… I want to be certain.” He knew it was stupid to be this anxious, but it wasn’t exactly nothing. This wasn’t just something you got to have a break up over and move on. “I also needed some time to think and figure out how I’m going to tell him if I really am.” The last thing he needed was Voryn panicking and Nerevar left regretting even telling him, all while Voryn’s brothers threaten to kill him or start causing shit.

“He’s going to kill me when he finds out you took me instead of him to find out.”

“Oh stop it, no he isn’t.” Nerevar rolled his eyes. “Even if he’s angry I’ll tell him it was my decision and take the blame.”

“You think that will stop him?” Vivec questioned him.

“He’ll have more important things to worry about if I am.”

It was then a knock followed, and the same nurse that did his blood work came in. She had in her hands a stack of papers, a brief look of uncertainty in her eyes before she flashed him a polite smile.

“The results are in, Mr. Mora.” Nerevar already felt a cold sweat break out, dreading the answer. He already knew what it was going to be, but he was still terrified of having it confirmed. “You are pregnant.”

Ice flowed through his veins and his hands went rigid, his jaw tightening, before he inhaled and exhaled shakily.

“We can go over your options if you’d like,” She began, handing him the papers. There was a lot of information on them, including several pamphlets on top. Stuff like how far along he might be, what to expect each month of pregnancy, supplements to take, diet and exercise, and a booklet on abortion. “Or you can go home and think it over and give us a call back if you want to schedule a follow up appointment with a pre-natal doctor.”

He pursed his lips. He was in no condition to make a decision right now. If he and Voryn broke up he probably wouldn’t be in any mood to stay nearby.

“I’ll call later to set up an appointment.” Nerevar said, wanting to just go home. He didn’t want an abortion but he could look into it on his own time, he didn’t want to sit down with a doctor talking about it in this cold ass office. He just wanted to go home and think about how the hell he was going to tell Voryn about all of this. Voryn was still trying to figure out where he wanted to go to college and they had just graduated, so he had his hands full, and Nerevar needed time.

The nurse gave a look at Vivec who met her eyes completely unphased, before the two were led out.

The car ride back, Nerevar stared at his text conversation with Voryn while Vivec drove. Saying this over text was too much. He was going to have to say it in person. Instead he texted Voryn asking when they could meet up again, leaving it open ended. He didn’t want to rush him or say they needed to talk about something as that would just prompt Voryn to ask about what and Nerevar would have to either explain or make him anxious.

“It will likely be another week.” Came Voryn’s reply. “I can call you tonight though if you’re feeling lonely.”

“Nah,” Nerevar replied, “I’m feeling kinda sick today. A week works, just let me know when you can come over.”

“I’ll let you know.” Voryn answered, “I love you, Neht.”

Nerevar stared at the message, a lump in his throat. He’d blame it on pregnancy hormones, but he actually started tearing up over the uncertainty of it all. He wanted Voryn with him right now actually, holding him and reassuring him it will all work out. He wanted to text Voryn that actually he should drop everything and come to Nerevar’s apartment tonight. That it was an emergency. That he needed him.

But he knew if he did it might just make the situation worse. He didn’t want to just sob and unload it all onto Voryn. It was his fault he was pregnant anyways, he was the one who told Voryn not to worry about it when the condom broke. He was the one who didn’t buy plan b in the morning. He was the one who didn’t get an IUD or something like Vivec said as a back up. The last thing Nerevar wanted was trying to shove all of it on Voryn when he was busy and had more important things going on. And what if Voryn didn’t reassure him? What if Voryn dumped him then and there or told Nerevar to get rid of it? He didn’t think Voryn was the type to do that, but he imagined many people didn’t think their partners would do that either when it does happen. And if he heard that it would only send him spiraling.

He needed time to compose himself and figure it out. He had a week, that would be enough time to sort it out.

Vivec reached over the console to hold his hand, squeezing it.

“It’ll be alright, Neht.” Vivec’s voice was actually quite sympathetic. “When you get home take a shower and rest. You can look at all the papers and think about what to do in the morning.” Nerevar exhaled, his breathing unsteady as he held back sobs. “Do you want me to spend the night?”

“No,” In reality all Nerevar wanted was Voryn. “I want to be alone tonight. Just take a shower and lay in bed for a while.”

“Alright.” Vivec gave his hand another squeeze, before letting go. “Call me if you change your mind.”

—

Two days passed, and the last thing Nerevar had been expecting was loud knocking on his door. He got up from the couch, confused, checking through the peephole.

He was greeted by the sight of Voryn’s brother Vemyn with two people behind him. Panic set in immediately as soon as he saw them. Had something happened to Voryn? That was the only thing he could think of, that Voryn had died just like Nerevar’s father had died when he was a baby.

He threw the door open, frazzled and confused, barely able to open his mouth before all three pushed their way into the apartment and shut the door behind them.

“What?!” Nerevar moved aside, but did look for something he could use as an improvised weapon if he needed to. “What are you doing?!” They didn’t even say why they were there, just shoving their way inside. It wasn’t just Vemyn either but Gilvoth and Uthol, three of Voryn’s brothers that he knew disliked him the most.

“Why don’t you take a seat?” Vemyn asked, as though he hadn’t forced his way into Nerevar’s apartment.

“Why don’t you tell me what the hell you’re doing shoving your way in here first?!”

Uthol sighed, crossing his arms, acting like Nerevar was the unreasonable one here.

“We heard you went to the doctor.” Gilvoth glared at him, “And that you’re fucking pregnant.”

“Wha..?” How had they found out? He hadn’t even told Voryn yet!

It was then, he remembered that one of Gilvoth’s friends was a doctor at the clinic. Not Nerevar’s doctor personally, but it was possible for him to see in the system that he had an appointment there and why. He just never expected the guy to tell Gilvoth; patient confidentiality and all that. It was illegal, but what was he going to do, sue the guy? He didn’t have concrete proof he was the one who told Gilvoth, nor the time and money to drag out the lengthy legal battle.

“I hope you’re planning on getting an abortion.” Uthol glared at him as well, this one more of a look of disgust than pure rage like Gilvoth did.

“It’s not of your fucking business what I do with the kid!” Nerevar snapped.

“It is our business.” Vemyn said sternly, taking a step toward him. “It’s Voryn’s isn’t it? Unless you want to tell us you’re cheating on Voryn.”

“No I’m not fucking cheating on Voryn!” Nerevar had his teeth bared, his hands shaking from how angry he was.

“Look,” Vemyn continued, “I’m going to be blunt. You are not going to have a child with Voryn.” Nerevar opened his mouth to protest, but Vemyn just kept going, “You can either get an abortion and we’ll let you stay in contact with Voryn, or you can leave right now. You will not ruin my brother’s life because you were fucking irresponsible. You shouldn’t have even gotten him in bed with you in the first place, let alone gotten pregnant.”

The words stung more than Nerevar wanted to admit. He had already beaten himself up over the entire situation, and they were just confirming everything.

“He’s young. He has a promising future. Are you really going to just ruin it with your own selfishness?” Gilvoth asked, venom dripping off of every word. “He’d throw away everything for you and your brat and we’re not going to let that happen.”

It was like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on him. He started convincing himself that maybe he and Voryn could work this out. That they could figure something out and move forward. Come to a custody agreement if (when) they broke up and they could try and keep it private. Voryn would probably want to stick around at first, support Nerevar and everything, and say he was also to blame.

From the way Gilvoth was talking though it wouldn’t be that simple. If he would throw it all away choosing to acknowledge the child in any capacity, that likely meant Voryn would be disowned. It wasn’t that unreasonable, rich people disowned their kids for less. He didn’t think Voryn’s mother would, but Voryn being stubborn might leave her no choice since she wouldn’t want a bastard from some nobody as her grandson.

Nerevar could do this on his own, but Voryn? Voryn was used to the life he had. And on top of that he had great grades, his pick of universities, and a great job on a silver platter ready and waiting for him. If he walked away from all of that out of a sense of responsibility for the baby and childish puppy love, Nerevar would be ruining his life.

And as the years passed, Voryn would resent him. He would resent him and their child. He would resent the fact he threw away everything good he had and all of his opportunities for a subpar life with a man he no longer loved. He’d see Nerevar and their child as the reasons his life fell apart. Nerevar could take care of a child and give everything else up, but Voryn couldn’t, and Nerevar wouldn’t be able to support him on top of the baby, nor could he handle the fallout.

Nerevar knew he couldn’t subject his child to that. He couldn’t risk it. He would rather Voryn never know than Voryn lose everything and grow to hate their child. Nerevar knew full well what it was like to be resented and blamed, not by his mother but the rest of his family.

“If you care about him, then get rid of the damn thing or leave.” Vemyn urged him.

Nerevar swallowed roughly, before he turned away.

“Voryn said he’d be here in a week.” Nerevar said simply. “Keep him busy so I don’t have to make excuses.” He knew this would kill him to leave so quickly, but it would be for the best, not just for Voryn but also for their child. Only having one parent was better than being resented or hated by one, always feeling like a burden who ruined their life. “I’ll call a moving company.”

He was already on a month-to-month lease since he had been planning to move away to college soon and didn’t want to be apart from Voryn even for the summer. It wouldn’t be hard to just give his landlord notice, pay his last month of rent, and be gone within a few weeks. He also didn’t have many belongings, so it wouldn’t be hard to have it shipped a few states over to his mom’s house.

The dread of telling his mom about his situation set in next. He planned to tell her after Voryn, but it seemed like he should do it now since he’d need a place to go.

“Don’t expect child support.” Uthol said as they all moved toward the door. “I don’t want to hear a damn word about your brat. You’re on your own if you decide to keep it.”

“I already fucking know!” Nerevar snapped. “I don’t want your damn money, so just get out of my apartment!”

After the three left, Nerevar was still standing in his kitchen, staring at the wall. His phone vibrated in his pocket after a few moments, and checking it, it was a text from Voryn. He opened it just to make sure Voryn hadn’t found out yet, but it was just a picture of a meal at a restaurant he went to for lunch with his mother while they were looking at colleges.

“It looks like a nice place to go to college, right?” There were other pictures too that came in while Nerevar was arguing with Voryn’s brothers. Nice buildings on campus, pleasant sidewalks, quaint little cafes.

“It looks great.” Nerevar replied. It would be a good place for Voryn to go to college, a place he could see Voryn enjoying. It wasn’t too far from a branch of the company either, so he’d be able to work there without driving or flying back regularly.

“I think you’d really like it here. There’s lots of things to do. A lot of active people, and a lot of things on campus.” Voryn then also showed him someone that hung a trans pride flag in their window.

“We can also share an apartment if you want.” It was crushing for Nerevar to read this now, like a hole had opened up in his chest. Even if he wasn’t pregnant, Voryn’s family would never allow that. Voryn was delusional if he thought he could convince his mother to allow that on her dime, not when she’d disown him if she knew he had gotten Nerevar pregnant.

He closed the messages, shoving those thoughts aside. He didn’t need to dwell on any of that. He had more important things to focus on and things he had to get done.

Instead he went to his bedroom, sitting on his bed, and called his mom. The seconds that followed as the phone rang felt like minutes, until he finally heard his mom answer.

“You don’t normally call.” His mother said. And it was true; normally they just texted unless it was for birthdays or holidays.

“It’s important.” His voice shook slightly.

“Well go for it.” She waited, as Nerevar took several deep breaths, a hand on his stomach.

“I’m pregnant.”

A few seconds of silent followed, before Nivara spoke. “… Well, at least you’re 18.”

“Mom, I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” She replied. “It could be worse, you could have gotten pregnant in high school. I’m glad it waited until now.” Nerevar rolled his eyes, laying down to curl up in bed instead. At least she wasn’t mad, that was good.

“Is it your boyfriend’s?” She asked.

“… Yes.” He answered. “But I…”

“Do you not want it?”

“I do want it.” He chewed on his lower lip.

“Does he?”

“He can’t know.” Nerevar answered. “His brothers already came by to basically threaten me.”

“They threatened you?!” Nivara’s voice finally rose at that, her anger showing. Nerevar winced.

“Not with violence.” Nerevar said. “I guess intimated is the better word.”

“You’re not doing them any favors.”

“They said if I told him it would ruin his future. He might get disowned and just… Throw it all away.” Nerevar began rambling now, hiccuping slightly. “I don’t want him to resent me or the baby. I wouldn’t be able to stand putting a kid in that kind of situation. I…”

“Shhh… It’s alright.” She did her best to soothe him. She wasn’t a naturally affectionate woman, but Nerevar knew she cared. In its own way that was comforting enough. “No one will make you do anything.” She then sighed. “Honestly, if his brothers are like that, it’s pretty likely he would end up resenting you.”

Nerevar could agree, trying to calm himself down from crying.

“Do you want me to come up there and help?” She offered.

“No, I… I just want to get away from here.” He wanted to be a coward just this once. Run away and hide and not think about it in the future. Besides, his mother taught martial arts and self defense classes. She didn’t really need the money all that much, it was mostly to kill time, but he didn’t want her to lose it just because of him. “Can I stay with you?”

“Of course you can.” She snorted. “That’s the least I can do for you. This house is too damn empty, honestly. Even a screaming baby would be an upgrade just so I don’t go insane.” Nerevar managed to laugh at that, wiping his tears on his pillow.

“Thanks.”