#on this funked up planet earth there’s a ‘the rot consumes us all’ shrugging stock emoji in every one of us
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1/3 Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you?
this is inaccurate no one perceives me
#hardly if at all#and if it is then that’s limited to... very specific people? i feel like the friends i consider closest#are the ones who have the least differentiation in perception#given of course they still have their own outside pov of me. i think i’d go insane if talking to people was like being in my own head 24/7#i guess that means i have a hard time considering anyone close but i can’t exactly blame other people when im the one affecting my attitude#or rather not even affecting but just... exaggerating#every time someone’s like ‘oh lol you seem so chill about everything’ i’m like ‘thanks i’m constantly so tired i want to cry’#or ‘i wish i had your confidence’ and im in my mind going ‘bitch what. bitch what. sorry could you say that again. that makes no fucking se#‘you’re so loud and crazy’ the camera cuts to me standing in a grocery store dead inside fending off madness as california girls plays#i mean i joke but it’s genuinely bizarre to me how 15 years of repressing rage turned into being fun at parties#if it makes people like me then like ? ? sure i’m flattered but god i just wanna fucking Lie Down. the turmoil of the unexpressed#i don’t even talk to people the same way i talk to myself it takes me kicking and clawing to get out my natural syntax if ever i can#hell i couldn’t even write THIS ask in it#(and i’m not sure what others opinions on me are but my vibe internally is just not all lowercase. like at all)#feel like most people i meet are like oh zach is this wacky dude!! and i'm like YEAH you're not wrong but#*insert the hAEUEGEHH inhale from the 'i lie to myself' skit*#least i’m pretty sure everyone has moments like those these days. the vibe is in shambles but we’re all a lil bit in shambles together#on this funked up planet earth there’s a ‘the rot consumes us all’ shrugging stock emoji in every one of us
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