#on the topic of middle child syndrome: even if you believe that the birth order thing is only partly true

[nattikay]

Ok, so as an oldest sibling myself, I do think that a certain amount of pressure or expectation to be the most mature etc. kinda comes with the territory, regardless of how good or bad your parents may or may not be. So sure, in that sense yes Neteyam may very well be feeling a measure of “pressure”. If folks left it at only that, I wouldn’t have nearly as many qualms with it.

However, my issue is not with the idea that Neteyam may likely deal with some of the standard pressures of being the firstborn—and I apologize if in my frustration I did not make this distinction clear—but rather when people blow this concept up to the point that his whole character revolves around the supposed tragedy of it. It’s one thing to extrapolate based on circumstances that he’s probably experiencing some pressure—it’s quite another to take that and, despite little to no evidence (as the above tags said, we never see him complain about it), decide that this pressure is utterly overwhelming, that it’s constantly eating him up inside, that he’s secretly miserable but bottles it up, that he’s been “forced” into this path and he secretly hates it and just yearns To Be Free, that this pressure is so severe that his parents are considered neglectful if not abusive for forcing him to feel it, that they’ve never ever allowed him to just “be a kid” or “act his age”, that he “deserves to call them out” or “should’ve had a chance to break free of their toxic influence before he died”, and oh don’t we feel so sorry for him? Isn’t this constant pressure he feels so tragic? Aren’t his parents so terrible for inflicting it on him?

That’s where my frustration lies, this overexaggeration and overdramatization that makes everything worse than it is and treating that interpretation like canon even though most of it is not really present in the movie.

Concerning the “perfect little soldier” line, I think it’s important to note that this is Lo'ak’s line. This is how Lo'ak sees him.

Like Neteyam dealing with the pros and cons of being the eldest, Lo'ak is dealing with the infamous “middle child syndrome”…in fact, his case is likely amplified because not only are both his parents famous war heroes, but his older brother is also a borderline prodigy. Living in the shadow of both Jake and Neteyam actually is a huge part of Lo'ak’s character, and given the circumstances that’s not really a surprising dynamic. Wanna talk about pressure and expectations that someone struggles to live up to and angsts about it? Let’s talk about Lo'ak.

I saw a comment the other day that Norm is less present in A2 because his narrative role is filled by Neteyam. At first I dismissed this, because Norm and Neteyam have totally different personalities and whatnot, but upon further reflection I realized that in a certain sense they were kinda right. Norm’s primary narrative purpose in A1 was to contrast Jake—he was the prime avatar candidate: five years of dedicated training, fluent in the language, well-versed on and passionate about Pandora and its inhabitants. Jake, meanwhile, was just some jarhead sent to replace his dead brother solely for the convenience of sharing a genome. It is through Norm that we can see just how out of his depth Jake is.

Neteyam does that same thing for Lo'ak. Narratively speaking, Neteyam’s role in A2 is not really to deal with his own struggles, whatever they may or may not be, but rather to serve as a contrast to Lo'ak—he is the embodiment of the ideal that Lo'ak just can’t reach. The “perfect little soldier”, good at everything, beloved and respected by the whole clan, always taking charge. Neteyam being secretly ~crushed under the pressure~ etc. the whole time kinda breaks that purpose imo.

friendly reminder that Neteyam is a well-adjusted kid who has a good relationship with his parents, that he tries his darnedest to be a good warrior because he genuinely looks up to his dad and wants to be like him, and that the idea that Jake and Neytiri are "forcing" him to be perfect, that they "stole his childhood" or that he's "not allowed" to be a kid, etc. are all pure fanfiction with little to no evidence in canon thanks bye