#on the flip side… i’m falling in love so hard with koko

[nejibaby]

Me after reading chapter 234 of tokyo revengers:

[honoredbastard]

such pretty tears, baby boy ♡

“does this get you off?”          “MGH! y/n please-”     “ah ah ah-”   

✻ ˒ ໍ CHARACTERS ♡ bonten!mikey, bonten!rindou haitani and sadist gn!reader. all above the age of 20. they’re all timeskipped.

✻ ˒ ໍ CONTENT/KINKS ♡ NSFW, EDGING, TYING, OVERSTIMULATION, Y/N BEING A soft SADIST-(?) MASOCHISTS, BOTTOM, BOYS, GIVE NO REICIVE. drug/addiction mention(s). MENTIONS OF PET PLAY.

✻ ˒ ໍ A/N ♡ Y’ALL SADISTIC GN!READER HAS ME BY THE NECK-. i don’t know how to write rindou nor smut well FORGIVE ME GODS OF SMUT- it’s just a little drabble thingy ma jig that really couldn’t be kept in my drafts for too long- manga spoilers? draken will be next time? also toy/gear mentions.

::  ִֶָ MANJIRO “MIKEY” SANO 𓂅

sex with mikey was usually nice, lazy, and quiet. on other days he’d devour your body like a starving man, but in reality he was a little on the frustrated side. sexually. at times he’d be away for business purposes as he’d tell you and leave sanzu or rindou to be your bodyguard. as for rindou you appreciated his company, he didn’t talk to you much but the times you’d cook for him ( he loves your cooking, bad or not this man will devour it in full. so will ran, ran is just all smiles and eating. burnt food? doesn’t bother him. ) and/or just a small conversation was enough for you to smile. although sanzu was a different story, the top trusted bonten members and mikey all shared a loft, including you. so it didn’t take a lot of time to understand sanzu’s.... addiction.

it didn’t bother you much but whenever you came out of your shared room with mikey, he’d stare. just stare at you calmly, sword or gun in hand. sometimes he mistook you for his s/o, other times he was too high to think straight and was sprawled out on the couch. half of his body melting into the floor. you wondered how he could do that comfortably. 

but that didn’t matter anymore, mikey was arriving home soon and you snuck around to grab some things around the house. a rope (thank you high sanzu for complying and ordering one), a ball gag, a small paddle that shouldn’t hurt too much, and a blindfold. all things you ordered off the internet after studying in secret for weeks.

when you were alone, lonely, and sexually frustrated you stumbled across bdsm and kinks. of course mikey had kinks and interests that he’d expressed to you which you happily indulged in them. ( his spanks hurt, but they make mikey’s hips thrusting against you afterwards 10x better. ) at the time you just believed you were a maso with a bratty side and mikey had to many kinks to list that left you both in undying pleasure.

all until you were alone all over again, sanzu drunk and on whatever drug he smoked or popped this time. you were free to do as you want. a little on the dangerous side when your boredom stretched for hours on end when sanzu was sober enough to recognize your sneaking presence. at times he’d play along and sneak up behind you ( he’s too good at this when he has his sanity tbh ) and whisper in your ear “what are we hunting this time?” “OH FUCK!!” you’d scream and on reflex threw a fist at the man, who’s arms blocked his face and your fist. “sanzu!” you groaned, heart thumping against your chest like a race horse.

“i’m sorry.” you voice strained, scared that you fucked up this last time with sanzu and he was tired of it. “it’s fine, it’s fine. i’m the one who scared you. sooo... whatcha sneakin’ about for?” he grinned, leaning closer to your face. his eyes felt like he could see your lies before you’d come up with one, so you just told the truth.... parts of it at least. “i didn’t want to wake you and i got ordered stuff that i wanted to use online and i was gonna go get it!” 

sanzu’s face that was inches apart from yours leaned away, he smiled politely before trotting back to the couch. “all good, just wanted to make sure boss’ partner wasn’t meetin’ other gang members. y’know?” his body practically melted into the couch, eyes flicking between you and the t.v before getting comfortable. “you know i would never, sanzu!” you grinned, he shrugged, eyes already half-lidded. 

yup, he was about as stable as a dizzy ram for a few minutes there. you sighed and marched your way to outside where two small boxes were stacked above a bigger box. those were all toys- anal beads, a small paddle, dildos. you name it, you ordered it. you could already fantasize it- mikey under your touch, tied to a chair with every. single. part of him.... exposed. your body felt a shock through it, biting your lip to remain calm but it was hard for your ideas to settle.

you could already feel a knot building in your stomach that you had to get out badly. mikey would be a couple hours right? when you arrived to your shared space with mikey, you put the boxes in the closet and searched for something of his. something that smelled of him, that made you tingle in all the right places. you found a familiar black shirt so you took it, plopped onto the bed and held it in one hand while the other went to town on yourself. you began losing your mind from the pleasure as you started edging yourself - falling into a fantasy of your own.

mikey body was wearing ropes like clothes, you were staring him down with a smug smirk. eyes slow and attentive, it made mikey twitch when he watched. toes curled when you licked your lips, biting down on your cheek to stop you from devouring him right there. no no no, you had to have your fun. you inched closer to him, eyes never leaving his.

the man unable to speak was bontens number one, his life was right there for you to hold in your palms. you were aware of this, but you treated him like he was another civilian. he, of course, allowed you to. your hands brushed his untouched cock that was dripping with precum, “excited already?” you asked, licking the pent up contents.

mikey, who was gagged, nodded quickly before your warm tongue dragged itself from his base to his already flushed tip. playing with the slit for your own amusement while he tried to buck his hips to no avail. you were aware he’d try to get himself into your mouth, lure you into his trap where he has his way with you and not the other way around.

“ah-ah-ah.” you shook a finger at him, a teasing yet playful tone, your hand wrapped itself around his veiny shaft, slowly but surely raising the speed with each bite you placed on his pale thighs. he twitched and squirmed as he neared his release till you slowed down at the peak moment. you could hear his frustration through his muffled pants and whimpers. your fingers rubbed back and forth across his slit before placing a thumb there.

you looked up at mikey who’s cheeks were redder than a tomato, you kept looking while your mouth neared his inner thighs. you placed hickeys, ran a nail from the inside his hip down his thigh which made him squirm more. his skin flinched at the odd feeling, then you did it with his cock.

that sent him into an odd feeling of pleasure that made his toes curled, breath hitch, and eyes squeeze shut. raising yourself from the ground, you sat onto his lap with open legs for taunting him. “should i remove that ballgag? hmm?” you questioned, blowing into his ear before biting at the lobe. “so sanzu can hear your pleasure as i play with you to my heart content?” you licked behind his ear, his head jerked back slightly - free rain to kiss up and down his neck.

 “i’m not letting you cum till you cry for me.. slut.” you clicked in his ear, he shivered at your dominance over him. 

I’M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS ONE EVEN IF IT’S SHITTY LMFAO-

::  ִֶָ RINDOU HAITANI 𓂅

sex with rindou was about a mix of everything. it was like those ‘god making me’ tiktoks you’d stumble upon every-so often from your pure boredom. at times you were allowed to go to bonten meetings and overs you weren’t. ( rindou is keen on protecting you from the heavy shit he sees too often. especially if those meetings are fucked up. ) so when you weren’t either someone who was already informed like koko or ran which rindou trusted more than anyone to watch over you, to be your bodyguard. 

the problem was, rindou didn’t touch you in the places that craved being touched. your bottom half was aching to feel his hands again, to become red, fading into purple and blues. aching afterwards but getting the best aftercare, you were treated like royalty after you let rindou have his way with you. you even missed his breeding kink that would never end and left you in a shaking mess.

yet although all the offers and signals you threw at him, he brushed you off. now this was getting on your nerves. very much on your nerves. so you set up a plan: overstim and edge your boyfriend beyond compare. you’d give him the best aftercare for a price. you were going to have your way with him, of course you’ll ask for consent and walk him through what you’d do to him. but after that the power exchange was all yours.

you’d both mutually set up on a safe word and if either of you couldn’t speak properly you set up a safe signal. rindou was invested in bdsm and you too, became invested into it. which may have flipped your sadist switch. the idea was to tie rin up or to a chair. you had plenty of gear ( both pet and non pet play ) and way too many restraining gear. which excited you of all the things you could do.

although you knew one thing for sure. you were going to play with his cock till it ached and tears were burning into his cheeks while you tried your way at humiliating him. he’d done this to you many times, restrained you, made your nipples harder than him. it was everything.

when you peered out of your room you saw ran sitting at the dinner table concentrating at something. “should i pester him?” you questioned aloud in a hushed voice, “hm? oh is that you, y/n?” “yes?!” you felt like you got caught, your voice was high pitched and confused which made ran laugh. “at ease, come on over here.” following his orders like a dog, you stumbled your way over to ran awkwardly.

you stared at the cards in awe, “are you playing by yourself?” “actually yes i am! would you like to play with me?” “sure!” you sat time with a smile, yyou seemed focused but your mind was somewhere else. far far away from the ground, it all played out with rindou’s loud moans and occassional grunts as your hand slid down his length. eyes flicking to him than the thing you were working so well for - applying your mouth soon after. though rindou failed your plans for his edging, you still went to town as he filled your mouth, riding his orgasim while you kept going. the pleasure becoming painful but it felt oh-so.... good.

                thanks for reading! <3 it was horrible but fun to write 10/10.                 rindou’s part sucked everything that i had worked on was                 deleted and i’m still pissed so it’s not great, thank you!

[argonaut--keene]

28 with Lup & Lucretia, please!! :')

28: “Girls night in?”

Word count: 1,817

Warnings: Death mention, survivor’s guilt, grief, alcohol (y’know, normal Stolen Century shenanigans)

Summary: In which Lucretia has had a difficult few years and Lup is determined not to let her be sad all by herself.

Send me more of these?

__________________________________

It had been…a rough couple of cycles.

Two years ago, Davenport and Barry and Lup had all been killed in a negotiation for the light gone very poorly. Taako and Magnus stormed in the next day and took the light by force. “Should have just let them all die, those assholes,” Taako muttered that night as they fled the city to hide out in a remote forest until the year was over. Merle gently reminded him that not everyone on the plane was such an asshole and they did not deserve to die just because some of their leaders were terrible. Lucretia sat in the corner quietly, hiding the tears that dripped down her cheeks by letting her hair fall in front of her face.

In the next cycle, the light had been relatively easy to find. Lucretia had left most of the team on the Starblaster to do their research, and had taken Magnus with her on a months-long voyage through the culturally rich civilization. She had befriended their guides, a couple of kindly tieflings, and had been truly enjoying the journey when they were attacked by bandits. Both of the tieflings and Magnus were killed. Lucretia returned to the ship alone. She had a hard time writing anything down the rest of the year–it was too difficult to see the pages past the blur of her tears.

Nobody had died so far this cycle, but Lucretia was tired of being on such high alert. She was tired of spending her time grieving because every new person she met would be gone forever from her life within a year. Becoming even more quiet around her family, Lucretia withdrew from everything and tried to sketch every person she remembered meeting from the past five years. Two of those cycles, they had failed to get the light. Most of the people Lucretia was drawing were dead.

One evening, there was a knock at her door. “Do you need something?” Lucretia called distractedly. She couldn’t remember if the child she was sketching from one of the failed cycles was an elf or a human. How could she not remember something like that? All she could recall was that he had a freckle on the tip of his nose and he wore a purple stone on a string around his neck.

“Luuuuucy. Can I come in?” It was Lup. She didn’t sound urgent, but she did sound determined. And when Lup was determined, there was no point in trying to resist.

“Alright.” Lucretia closed her sketchbook as Lup bounded into the room.

“Listen, Luce, you know I love you to pieces, right? So please don’t get snippy when I tell you that you absolutely gotta stop hiding in your room all the time. It’s not healthy, babes,” Lup told her. “I know you’re an introvert, but this isn’t that. You’ve been avoiding us.”

Straight to the point then. I should have expected that. Keeping her expression neutral, Lucretia said, “I haven’t been avoiding anyone. I’ve just been busy with my work.”

“Your work, huh? Can I see it?” Lup hopped up to sit on Lucretia’s desk. She didn’t look like she had any intention of moving anytime soon.

Lucretia didn’t really want to explain what she had been doing. Lup might not understand why she needed to do this; and besides, Lucretia had a feeling that she would start to cry if she tried to talk about it. And she was just so tired of crying. She said nothing. However, she didn’t stop Lup from taking the sketchbook from her hands and flipping through the pages.

“These are nice,” Lup said softly. “Are these people you met during the cycles, Luce?”

Clearing her throat, Lucretia nodded.

“Who was this?” asked Lup. She pointed to a sketch of an older elf woman wearing a scarf on her head.

“I don’t know. I never asked her name. She was at a church I visited three cycles ago. She took care of the children who had been orphaned because of the illness that year.”

Lup’s ears positioned themselves slightly downwards as she frowned. “We didn’t get the light that cycle.”

“I know.”

There was a minute of silence as Lup turned more pages. Lucretia heard a quiet sniff when Lup saw the sketch of the young boy that wasn’t quite finished yet. Placing the sketchbook down carefully on the desk, Lup wiped her eyes and reached out to tilt Lucretia’s chin up. “You’re right, you have been busy,” she allowed. “That’s important stuff.”

“I don’t want us to forget them,” Lucretia stated simply.

“Yeah. Yeah, I get it. But, Lucy. You can’t isolate yourself, okay? Even if you’re sad, even if you’re having a hard time. Actually, especially if you’re having a hard time.” Lup smiled sadly. “Okay?”

Lucretia looked down at her hands and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Well, um, how’s this? I’m not gonna let you isolate yourself anymore,” Lup let her know. “We’re all hanging out tonight, I’m taking you out to the common room to have dinner and a fun night together.”

With a weary sigh, Lucretia said, “I’m sorry, Lup, I’m just…not up for that.”

Lup nodded thoughtfully. “Gotcha. Okay. I know exactly what we’re gonna do, then.”

“And what’s that?” Lucretia said.

“Well, if you’re okay with it, which I think you will be.”

“Lup.”

“Girls night in?” suggested Lup. “C'mon, just you and me, chillin’ in here and talking and hanging out. We can do whatever you want. I’ll make Koko bring us snacks and drinks.” She gave Lucretia a winning smile. “Whaddya say?”

“I say, I probably don’t have a choice in the matter,” Lucretia said, pretending to give in grudgingly. But really, that didn’t sound too bad. Lup could be loud and rambunctious when she wanted to be, but she was just as capable of being quiet and understanding, and she seemed to know instinctively when a person needed each type of affection.

“That’s my girl,” Lup said happily. She patted Lucretia’s cheek. “Now, I’m gonna be right back. Put on some PJs.”

Lucretia obliged, and put on her most comfortable pajamas of a t-shirt and flannel pants while she waited for Lup to return.

“You decent?” Lup barely waited for the answer before she walked right in, wearing a tank top and shorts and carrying several blankets and multiple bags of candy and chips.

“I try not to have food in my bedroom,” Lucretia said helplessly.

“I’ll clean up any mess, I promise. Now, I sent Taako to bring us hot chocolate and wine, ‘cause I wasn’t a hundred percent sure what kinda night we’re gonna be having. But uh, both? Both sounds good.” Lup was already setting up a blanket fort on Lucretia’s bed. “And I told him that he’s not allowed to have any, 'cause it’s girls night. I said that if he’s lonely without me, he can go cuddle up with Magnus. He flipped me off, but he is getting those drinks, so I think we’re good.”

Lucretia couldn’t help but smile as Lup chattered. She had to admit, the company was nice. She didn’t feel as trapped inside her memories anymore. And when Taako knocked on the door, saying that he was leaving the drinks outside and that he hoped Lucretia knew that he was definitely, absolutely furious that she was hogging Lup for the night, he was laughing the whole time and ended the speech with a “Have fun, you two,” so Lucretia figured that he wasn’t actually angry.

Lup pulled her into the blanket fort and handed her a hot chocolate. “We’ll switch to wine later. So…wanna talk about anything?”

“I…” Lucretia shook her head. She drank some of her hot chocolate. “Like what?”

“I don’t know, babes, anything?”

“I’m just, um, tired,” Lucretia admitted.

Lup flicked her ears. “Would you rather just go to sleep?”

“No, I meant…in general. I’m just tired. I feel like I can’t stop moving. I’m not…caught up with the rest of you, if that makes sense? I’m still stuck somewhere behind everyone else.  It’s why I’m trying to draw everyone, because…if I can record everything that’s happened so far, I might be able to keep moving.”

Lup hummed understandingly. She gave Lucretia’s arm a reassuring squeeze. “I get it, honey. I’ve had that feeling some cycles, too. It’s not easy to just keep leaving everyone behind, huh?”

“No. No, it’s not easy,” said Lucretia. “And it’s exhausting.”

“It definitely is that,” Lup replied. She paused for a second, then reached for the bottle of wine. “Time to switch drinks, I think. Hey, Luce? Get your sketchbook. We’re gonna sit and remember everyone we left behind and toast to them until we feel better.”

Lucretia didn’t argue with that.

A few hours later, they had gone through every single page in the sketchbook. Lup even remembered the names of a few more of the people in the drawings, and Lucretia penciled them in. Both of them were crying a little by the end. Lucretia decided that she didn’t want any more wine and curled up against Lup’s side with her sketchbook clutched to her chest.

“I’ve gotcha.” Lup sniffled. “Are you, um, feeling better?”

That’s a complicated question. “I think I will be,” she murmured. “I don’t feel…great, right now, but I do feel…lighter? That doesn’t make sense, I’m sorry.”

“It does make sense, I totally get it. Ohhhhkay, I think I’ve had enough wine. Hey, hey, c'n I like…stay here tonight?” Lup asked.

“Definitely.” Lucretia was glad that Lup had suggested it, because she probably wouldn’t have asked her to stay and she didn’t really want to be alone.

“Mind if I deconstruct the blanket fort? I’m not super chill with enclosed spaces,” added Lup.

“You built it!” Lucretia said, managing a quiet giggle. “But yes, of course.”

Lup laughed as well. She pulled the fort down and covered the two of them in the blankets. She put her arms around Lucretia’s waist and snuggled her close. “Thank you for saying yes to this,” she said softly. “I know I said we were doing it to stop you from isolating, but, y'know what? I kinda missed ya. I feel like we haven’t spent much time together over the past few cycles.”

“I’m sorry,” Lucretia whispered.

“Not your fault, babes. We get busy, life gets hard. Sometimes we die.” Lup chuckled. “Gods, what a weird thing to say so casually.”

“Pretty weird,” agreed Lucretia. She yawned.

Lup turned the lights off. She hugged Lucretia closer. “This was nice,” she said after a few minutes. She sounded sleepy. “Let’s do it again. Make girls night in a regular thing. Maybe not always with the crying part, but, y'know, sometimes we just need that.”

“I’d like that,” Lucretia said, closing her eyes. “Goodnight.”

“Night-night, Lucy.”

[madslogo]

green blue red

merle hasn’t heard from much of ipre lately, but he’s never without davenport for too long (aka, merle doesn’t know how to use his fantasy phone) 

read on ao3

“So,” Davenport asks on his fifteenth of what’s been lately becoming weekly beachside visits, over a year after Story and Song and a month after Carey and Killian’s wedding. “How are the… er, horny boys these days?”

Merle pauses in the motion of sipping the herbal tea that he knows Davenport loves best (but only when he grows it himself) and tilts his head a little bit. “Whattaya mean?”

Davenport shrugs. “It’s kinda silly, but I never thought any of us could get any… closer, after a century.” He pauses here, for a short while (and actually, this is one of those hints to Merle that he isn’t the only one who changed in their long, long final cycle before the hunger arrived. Captain Davenport was always a carefully eloquent man, and he would take the time he needed to perfectly articulate what he wanted to say. Davenport now is hastier. Thoughtful wording forsaken in the reveling of speaking at all; as if he’s scared he stops for too long, he won’t be able to answer again. Merle was always a patient man, especially for his captain. He doesn’t need to be anymore. In fact, he’s only just worked through this thought to heartbreak by the time the pause is over). “But the three of you… Merle, Taako and Magnus have always loved you, but they love you.”

It’s Merle’s turn to be hasty with his words, now. “I’m already taken by a dashing sea captain. Besides, I’m too old for them.”

Davenport laughs, eyes crinkling at the edges and head bowing every so slightly as a light blush dusts just over his mustache with only the brilliant white of his smile to break up the red (and wow, Pan help him, after all these years searching to figure out why he walked away from his wife, it only takes Davenport half a second to remind him what love really is). “Gross, Merle!”

Merle laughs too. The two of them- two old men on a boat in a world they never really belonged in but made home all the same- fill the small dock outside Earl Merle’s mansion with laughter like bells.

“Seriously, though!” Davenport tells him, elbowing him in the side when he regains his composure. “We were all so… Lost, during that time,” (and Merle knows him well enough to know that his love for his surrogate children and the fear of losing himself again are waging war in his reclaimed mind in a series of phrases- You’re Merle, right?  I’m Davenport. Lucretia, what did you do?) “but the three of you found each other and you rebuilt each other, even when everything was lost, even when you’d lost everything… You loved each other. You can’t possibly tell me you lost that. I don’t think you can.”

Merle sips his tea, long and slow (and can’t help but think the bond engine gave Davenport the ability to see into his deepest thoughts- the parts of him that are slow and considerate, the parts of him that aren’t the Peacemaker, the effort to make his friends laugh and lighten the weight of a century of loss and hard choices but instead the wise and wistful old man that hides behind a wit to rival Taako’s but honed with humility to undercut it) and for once, makes an effort to verbalize what he��s thinking. “You know I love them all, Dav. I couldn’t not. We both know well enough that Mavis isn’t my oldest, but… Well. Taako’s finally whole. Magnus has learned to hold back and wait. They don’t need an old man like me anymore.”

Davenport says nothing (and even if the lessons Davenport learned during the last decade will never outweigh what he’s suffered in turn, Merle realizes that they ran parallel in that time- he learned that he could be selfish, that he could turn away from being the Peacemaker; Davenport learned to express how he feels, allowing the carefully tailored persona he was when he fought to be the daring leader IPRE needed to fall away, when he was forced to become the Wordless One and Merle can almost trick himself into believing that seeing the love and hurt he feels on his face, shared openly without hesitation, is worth it all) but he puts a hand on Merle’s shoulder and pulls him closer.

“You old fuck!” A shrill shout rings out from behind them.

The two turn around and gape at the helm of the ship where a tear is torn in reality. Through it, Taako and Magnus burst out, both seemingly enraged, while a sheepish Barry tails them and closes the rift he’d opened with his scythe. “Sorry! Sorry, I tried to stop them, but-” Barry calls to them.

Davenport blinks. “I always forget Barry’s a reaper. Every time,” he admits, not bothering to move from the relaxed position he’d taken at Merle’s side after he realized who the intruders were.

Taako and Magnus are on Merle in seconds. Taako’s hands are stretched wide and his fingers are poised to emphasize what he says (a habit he’s gotten into from performing that he only reclaims when he’s pissed) while Magnus practically tackles Merle (and, alright, maybe he hasn’t forsaken rushing in completely).

“Hey!” Merle shouts as Magnus pulls his stone of farspeech out of his pocket. “What are ya doing?!”

Magnus throws the thing to Taako who, with a huff and a screech of “I fucking KNEW IT!”, twists the side of the stone until it clicks and pulses green once. “Merle fucking Highchurch!” Taako yells. “Do you know how many times we’ve fucking called you this year?”

Merle glances back at Davenport (and he takes it back- the story Davenport’s features wield is turning to “I told you so”) before glancing at the angry pair. “Um… Zero?”

Taako huffs “Unbelievable!” and throws Merle his stone. “You were on fucking fantasy do not disturb for over a year!”

Merle taps the stone, and sure enough, he has six hundred and thirty-nine missed calls. He blinks at it once, twice, three times. What?

“Old man, if this is your way of blowing us off, we’re not standing for it!” Magnus announces. “I will literally force Barry to move in with me at Raven’s Roost so I can make him teleport me to your beach mansion to yell at you when I need my old man fix!”

“Old man fix? Ew, Maggie,” Taako says, making a face.

“I’m not- I’m not gonna do that, Mags,” Barry tells him.

Magnus crosses his arms. “I will literally hold Barry J Blue- that’s J for Jorts- Bluejeans hostage and make him let me come annoy you daily. Is that what you want?”

“Cap’n’port, I’m begging you, make your husband answer his fucking stone,” Taako tells the hysterically laughing captain.

Davenport doesn’t answer, only shakes his head before putting it down on the table in front of him, his chest heaving with laughter.

“Wait- You two’ve been calling me?” Merle asks, dumbfounded.

“Yeah, fucking- Of course!”

“Hachi machi, Merle! Fucking yeah?!”

Barry shakes his head, too. “Literally everyone has been trying to call you. You literally were on a spaceship for a century, how- How is this beyond you? You’re a scientist, Merle,” he tells him, but suddenly he freezes up and his flesh melts away. “Shit that’s- That’s the ol’ goddess. Come on, Mags, Koko, you’re either staying here or we gotta go.”

“Merle, when this old man date is over, I’m gonna fucking call you because Istus fucking help me, but I love you and I need you to give me advice on how to raise my boy or I’m gonna fucking lose it,” Taako tells him, an angry finger pointing at him accusingly before crossing across the boat to step through the rift. He pauses, one foot in, to flip them both off. “I love you both, answer your fucking stones, and yeah, you too, Dav! I’m fucking onto that shit too!”

Magnus follows after them, shouting a “Stop being strangers!” behind him as they disappear.

“See you both soon, stay safe!” Barry says, waving as the rift closes behind him.

Davenport is still laughing hysterically and he doesn’t even bother picking his head up off the table. Instead, he tilts his head to stare at Merle and there are tears rolling down his face and dripping onto the table. “I cannot believe you!”

Merle finally laughs too, kissing Davenport’s cheek when he finally sits up from the table and when his stone of far speech shines a bright blue, Lucretia’s frequency, later that night, he answers right away.

(and ever since he left that beach, wondering what love was and why he could love those two children with his whole heart and still never love their mother enough to give them the home life they deserved, Merle has thought that he could pull away from his family and allow them to thrive in his absence. He could bear the heartache on his own, and they could let him slip from their thoughts. Over and over again, they show him, tell him, shout at him that he’s wrong, that it hurts them when he disappears.)

And after a long conversation with Lucretia and a promise to have another spa day some time soon, Merle switches his frequency to bright red and asks Davenport if there’s any chance he’d like to start docking his boat at the Bottlenose Cove a little more frequently.

He still laughs when Davenport asks him if that’s a euphemism.

[balancebeans]

Thanks to @yeoldvoidfish for the prompt!

hurt/comfort ficlet where taako opens up to lup about living without major parts of his identity for /years/ & the resulting self-esteem issues. hope you like one of these!

Taako is hard at work in the kitchen, with a half remembered receipt for a cinnamon loaf that’s all swirly and moist and creamy.  And.  What’s it called?  What is it?  

“Whatcha making, boo boo?”  Lup joins him in the kitchen, clipping her hair back out of her eyes and setting a hand between Taako’s shoulder blades.  He keeps mixing the dough together with the wooden spoon, but it’s still too sticky, won’t let go of the sides of the bowl, when he knows this recipe.  He knows it.  Butter, flour, eggs, sugar—it’s not a matter of the numbers written down, he knows how to make this the way Magnus knows how to carve a duck, or Merle knows how to find just the right passage in his Extreme Teen Bible.  It’s second nature.  Right?

“It’s that loaf cake that Auntie always made.  With the cinnamon streusel.”

“Ooooh, some babka.  Have you made the filing yet?”  

“No, the dough hasta set overnight, I’m gonna make it tomorrow.”  He kneads the dough into itself, but it’s not, coming together quite right.  He adds a little most flour, just a generous pinch, but it’s still.  It’s not right.  It’s clumpy and wrong and.  Why is this so wrong?  He knows how to make this.  This is one thing that Lucretia didn’t take away.  Right?  

“Why the fuck is this so wrong?”  Taako asks the dough that isn’t quite.  Lup reaches out to pull on it, to check the elasticity.  

“Did you let the eggs come to room temperature before you added them?”

“Yes, of course.”  Taako responds immediately.  “what kind of idiot makes bread with cold eggs?”  Taako is that kind of idiot.  He forgot.  He forgot to leave the eggs out and now this dough is all wrong, is ruined.  Taako wipes the flour off his hands with the dishtowel slung over his shoulder and shakes his head.

“Well, you can always toss it and start over.”  Lup says, all sensible.  Like it’s that easy.

“Just toss my brain and start over.”  Taako spoke into his shoulder while he picked up the bowl and flipped it over, discarding the stupid dough into the trash.  

“Koko, it’s not that bigga deal, your brain is fine.”

“You know how some people have swiss cheese brain?”  He asks, suddenly very angry.  “I have shredded cheese brain.  Because someone decided to run my memory through a food processor and dump me in the wild.”

“I think I have the recipe written down, let me grab that—“  Lup offers, and starts rubbing a reassuring circle on Taako’s back.  

“No, I know the recipe, I’m just gonna.  Fuck.”  

“Taako, what’s wrong?”  He ’s quiet.  Because how do you answer a question like that, when it’s easier to list off what’s not?

“I’m just—it’s cool, it’s fine, it’s what.  Whatever.”  Taako goes to grab more flour, and Lup pulls the butter and eggs out of the fridge.  

“Why don’t we wait for the eggs and butter to come to temp.  And we have some cocoa?”  She grabs the milk as well, and Taako pulls cinnamon and cocoa powder and sugar and vanilla from the cabinet.  

“Orange?”  Lup asks, and before Taako can say ‘duh’ she tosses him one from the cabinet, and he zests a little bit off into the saucepan.  

They make the cocoa together in quiet, using twin telepathy to pull together the simple recipe.  It’s so easy, how could you forget it?  Cocoa powder.  Sugar.  Water.  Dash of cinnamon.  Zest of orange.  Boil.  Milk.  Vanilla.  Easy.  Right?  Was there something missing?  Taako wanted to say “no” but he couldn’t because he wasn’t sure.  And suddenly his chest felt frosted over and his face felt hot and why couldn’t he do one thing right?  

He doesn’t even realize, but Lup has lead him gently to the couch, where she hands him his coca.  It’s so hot in his hands, it almost burns.  but it feels real the way none of his memories do.  

“Babe, I’m worried about you.”  Lup says after a good stretch of silence.  Taako only scoffs and rolls his eyes, taking  sip.  

“You know, this could use some whiskey.”  

“Taako.”  Lup says it all gentle and full of love the way Lup talks to Taako  when he’s hurt.  He lets the quiet settle between them for a moment while Lup waits.  Lup got so good at waiting.  And Taako got so good at letting his brain fall to pieces around him.  

“I keep forgetting.”  He admits into his cup.   “I had plans with Krav and I uh—just.  Fuckin’ forgot.”

“Okay.”  

“I—uh—I miss being me.  Like the real me, not this fucked up, taped together version.”

“Like the you you are now, doesn’t feel like the one you were before.”

“I was a fucking person before Lucy fucking magically lobotomized me.”  

“You’re still a person Koko.  You’re just different.”  Lup looks at him all caring and wise.  I guess she gets to be caring and wise.  “I’m different too, from how I was in the 90th cycle, and before the IPRE, and from the umbrella.  But, it’s still me.  And you’re still you.”  Lup reminds him slowly, and  rubs a hand against his back.  He takes a shuddering breath and realizes he’s started crying.  Ah hell.  “You’re still my brother and I still love you.”  And that shut Taako up, he wipes the tears from his eyes and clamps his jaw together, refusing to cry anymore.  

“I’m sorry, I’m being stupid, I know.”  

“No, babe, you’re not being stupid.”  Lup insists with more gentle circles.  

“I forgot you, Lup.”  And he sounds so broken right there, that her heart breaks a little bit too.  

“But that’s not your fault.  It’s okay, Taako.  I’m back now.  And I promise, I’ll be in your hair so much you won’t be able to forget me again.”  Taako takes a keep breath to steady himself.  But he’s not done, and Lup can see that.  

“You’re like, my fucken other half.  And I was so empty, and lonely and…”

“You’re a whole person, Taako.  Even without me, or Krav, or Barry, or Maggie and Merle, or anyone else.”  She says, but that doesn’t bring him any comfort.  “But, babe, now that we won, you never have to worry about being alone again.  You’re not gonna get rid of me if you scrape me off of you.”  And Lup proceeds to set her cocoa aside and entangle her arms and legs around him, and like the sweet octopus that she is, totally wrapped herself around her brother.  “Just try.”  And that got a little laugh out of Taako, which made the legs cramps that were certainly coming to her new muscles totally worth it.  

“I wouldn’t if I wanted to.”