#on the first of may it'll have been two years since it all went down

[lord-radish]

I just reblogged a post about PTSD, and it gave a lot of examples of PTSD criteria that are often overlooked that really resonated with me.

I'm gonna go over the former best friend stuff. Right away I'm gonna say I'm pretty sure things are gonna go back way before any of that other stuff happened, but the former best friend stuff is the most recent and the most raw.

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The criteria I'm using are on an Australian governmental website called Healthline. I'll be posting the criteria and discussing its applicability to the situation. I'm also going to read a webpage for an Australian mental health organisation called Beyond Blue.

Symptoms of PTSD, according to Healthline:

re-experiencing the trauma

I don't think about the actual event all that much, where I realised my friend had gotten with a girl I had been hung up on for about a year. It was less "why doesn't she love me", because she had let me down easy and was seeing other people and I was moving on, and more "how could my friend have done this to me", because I had confided in him about the crush for the entire time I had it and I was already having inadequacy issues with him and severe self-confidence issues.

The initial trauma, where I realised what was going on and blew up at my friend, is embarrassing but not something I revisit very often. What gets me is the thought that he's going to try and come back into my life, or I'm going to be trapped in a room or a conversation with him, or people are going to expect me to be around him and like pressure me to forgive him. It's the thought of going back, or being forced into a stressful situation, that gets me.

repetitive memories (or flashbacks) that are hard to control and intrude into everyday life

The recurring memories that get me are related to the moment where I realised I wouldn't be trying to go back to the friend group any more. It's the entire chain of reasoning that led to me leaving for good.

It's a laundry list of things he did that I didn't like and actively made me uncomfortable or upset, but which he did anyway because he thought it was funny. The first day we hung out outside of school, we went to the pool with another friend. They both got out, and when I went to get out, they started tredding on my hands and arms so I couldn't. I swam to the other side, but they'd beat me over there and keep stepping on me.

What struck me about remembering that in the wake of the girl thing is that it formed the foundation of our friendship, and going forward he would do things just like that - things that he would do to me that I didn't like, but which he did anyway because he thought it was funny. That was the foundation our entire friendship was built on. It was there from the start.

nightmares

Nightmares have always been few and far between for me, thank god. I don't have nightmares.

extreme distress caused by reminders of the trauma

At one point, I would start hyperventilating and crying whenever something happened that would reopen the wound. There have been times since I started working that this has almost happened at work. I'm always in flight mode when I'm in public, especially when I'm around where he works, and even more so when it's the time of the day I've seen him around and run into him after work. I'll have one of those one-sided mental conversations when I'm in bed or at work, and I'll need to let it play out and go over my rebuttals because otherwise it's just the thought of someone trying to force their way back into my life.

memories or disturbing thoughts that can be prompted by smells, sounds, words or other triggers

I have a hard time whenever I see his name, or the name of his girlfriend. I need to rush past it and forget I ever saw it. Both names are fairly common too.

---

The next set of criteria deal with avoidance.

staying away from places, people or objects that may trigger memories of the traumatic event

My former best friend used to work at a shop on the main street of my town. My main street is made up of three blocks, with his place of work being down the end of town we both live close to.

For the first year after the falling out, I wouldn't walk on that block of the main street. There's a second road that goes the same way, but it isn't as paved or well maintained as the main street. Whenever I was walking down the street, I would take that less well-maintained road to avoid potentially running into him. I did that for over a year, and I only stopped because I found out - tangentially, from seeing his new uniform after running into him - that he doesn't work there any more.

I did a similar thing with his home, talking a less convenient path to stay as far away from where he lived as possible. He lives *behind my mum* now, so I'm trying to stop washing my clothes at her house despite not having a washing machine in my flat because I can hear them across the fence.

I also left all of our mutual friends to get away from him. All of them. They're all his. I also close my eyes whenever I'm travelling by the place where the initial fallout happened so I don't have to look at it.

changing a normal routine to avoid triggering memories

Just discussed that in the previous entry. This one very much applies.

not wanting to talk about or think about the event

Outside of the councillor I've had since 2021, a friend I made and my mum, I haven't told anyone about what happened and why there was a fallout between me and my former best friend. A big reason why is because this isn't a "good guy vs bad guy" thing, and while I'm clearly very hurt and fucked up about it, I don't want to color people's perception of him.

If they like him and want to be his friend, they should be able to like him and be his friend. It's not like I'm The Good Guy and he's The Bad Guy, it was an ugly set of circumstances that I reacted very poorly to that forced a personal schism between us. I would talk about it with someone close enough to me because it's cathartic, but I have valid reasons to keep it to myself. All people need to know is that I can't be around him.

Now, thinking about the event - that's something I don't want to do. If I'm talking about it, I'm breaking it down and thinking about the mechanics of it and rationalising it. It's a process I can work through. Thinking about it, on its own, just hurts to do.

I think that's why I have those mental conversations, because I need to always be working through it and breaking it down. That's a fresh hell in itself, because I've been repeating the same points to myself for almost two years. I think of it, I have the mental conversation, however long it takes is a write-off. That's one reason I don't want to think of it.

feeling numb

I've felt numb about a lot of things for years before this was an issue, because I was severely bullied all through school. This event caused some numbness, but most of it is from that prior bullying.

---

These criteria regard negative thoughts and mood.

feeling a sense of hopelessness about the future

Not specific to the best friend stuff. This one stems from over twelve years of bullying, and is aggravating by living in a stressful home environment for most of my life and having such a strained relationship with my friends post-school. The best friend thing is whatever - the end of that friendship isn't going to kill me. The potential to find better friends is endless.

But I struggle to believe I'm ever going to fit in with a crowd that I jive with and which wants me, which has been a persistent feeling ever since primary (elementary) school. I felt that way before I met my former best friend, and I feel it now.

negative beliefs about yourself or the world

Again, moreso due to the bullying that occured before/during the time I made friends in high school. There is something wrong with me compared to other people, and there always has been - there's a tangible difference that puts me at a disadvantage. I have a very negative opinion on anti-bullying tactics and legislature like zero-tolerance policies, because it could be weaponised by bullies in ways that got their victims in trouble. On a good day I'm an optimistic atheist, on a bad day I'm a pessimistic agnostic.

blaming yourself or others unreasonably

I treat the former best friend stuff as a "both sides" issue. I feel bad because I was very emotionally ugly, and this led to me lashing out and being a very angry and spiteful person towards him. In the long run, this was to protect my own feelings and be able to live with myself in the long run, and I have to live with that.

And while I'm indescribably angry at him to this day, the actual decision between him and his girlfriend is both a positive development for both of them and a perfectly reasonable decision between two consenting adults. So like I said, both sides have a point.

I hold a lot of animosity towards my former best friend, and I will never let him get close to me again. I'm also angry at myself for my role in it all. I can recognise the good in it all, but it doesn't make the anger and hate any more palatable.

intense worry, depression, anger or guilt

I've covered anger and guilt in previous entries. Adding onto that: when this was still fresh, my emotional state was changing every day. I felt the full gamut of human emotion in the span of a week. A few months in, I had my first and only anxiety attack because I felt like I was running out of time to mend the bridges I thought I needed to mend.

I was immensely depressed - I didn't know what to do. I lost all my friends for the duration I was gone, and when I left for good, I lost all those friends forever. I felt guilty for the effect my acrimonious exit must have had on people in that group. Even today, it makes me feel angry and guilty, and I worry about the possibility of people trying to force their way into my life. Worry, depression, anger and guilt is most of my life.

not being able to remember the traumatic event

I can remember the traumatic event just fine. I remember the moment I put it all together, I remember lashing out at my friend. I remember the spiral I went into after I stormed out, and I remember the Saturday where I saw him for the first time since and he told me what had been going on.

What I don't remember is most of our friendship before that point.

I remember some good parts, and I remember a lot of the bad. I've blocked everything else out of my memory.

no longer enjoying favourite activities

This is another all-encompassing one with roots in being bullied. I find it hard to play online co-op games with other people, though I play a lot of games we used to play by myself. I've avoided a lot of movies, TV and music due to general shittiness stemming from being bullied, I have to find something that really engages me before I commit to any media.

becoming emotionally detached from others

This is the big one - again, not exclusive to the friend stuff.

I've never been good at making friends, and I stopped actively trying back in primary school. I made friends at the end of high school because I made an effort to befriend people I wanted to be around, but that's how I ended up with my former best friend.

I've never been good at talking to people unless they're more of a conversation starter. Nowadays, I don't even try. Partially because I feel poorly about myself, but thanks to the former best friend stuff, I'm also afraid of being hurt and getting excluded from places when things go poorly.

not being able to experience positive emotions

Again, not exclusive to the former best friend stuff. It's hard to find joy in anything, because I learned to feel judged and criticized at an early age. I stopped getting my hopes up that things would get better. After the friend group fallout, there were weeks where I felt like I would never be happy again unless I found a way to go back to that friend group, and things were endlessly bleak.

Even now, with the job I have, I've resigned myself to a long, arduous existence of working with outdated machinery instead of holding out hope for better equipment coming down the line. It's better to expect the bare minimum and - more often than not - getting it, than to wish for the moon and getting nothing in return.

---

These criteria regard increased arousal.

constant, excessive alertness

I mentioned this before - I'm always on the lookout for a flash of green or a person who looks like my former best friend so I can go the other way and avoid it. I'm always "on". I'm always thinking about places to hide or how to escape.

scanning the environment for signs of danger

See previous entry. Short answer, yes.

being easily startled

More of a general symptom. I've always been easily startled. My former best friend would startle me and play on my insecurities and fears to get a reaction out of me, because he thought it was funny.

irritable or aggressive behaviour

When I was bullied, I came out the other side trying to be as polite and inoffensive to the senses as I could be. I had intense anger and sadness for a long time, and I did lash out for a brief period in early high school, but I grew into a more kind, measured person.

When the former best friend stuff happened, the way I would phrase it is that I "became a person I didn't want to be". I'm outwardly angry now. I'm always ready to be rude and shout at my former best friend if it comes to that, and I will do so with impunity if I'm ever cornered. I still try to be measured and calm, but I stew and mutter and have a hard time regulating my emotions now.

difficulty sleeping

poor concentration

Both of these are moreso bullying-related issues that have stayed with me for most of my life than anything to do with my former best friend.

[mayday2007]

Perfect

Badass!Daryl x badass!fem!reader.

Warnings: mentions of Daryl's home life(beatings, blood, bruises)

Genre: fluff with slight angst

A/N: This is my first installment of the badass!Daryl x badass!fem!reader story? Au? I don't know what to call it, but I'm happy to post it because I want to know whether or not this is going to be as big of a success as my most recent drabble called love progression, which you can find if you click the link. It may not seem like much to some more experienced writers, but for me it's a huge deal. Anyways, like comment and reblog to support me, love ya!🥰

•°~*~°•°~*~°•°~*~°•°~*~°•°~*~°•°~*~°•

The late summer breeze drifted through the air, gently swaying the trees as it did. Mother nature was bringing an end to the scorching Georgia summer and was making way for a chilly autumn.

You were standing out on the plain of grass at the front of your highschool, having only just graduated, and you were more than ready to get the hell out of there alongside your boyfriend, Daryl Dixon.

You and Daryl had known eachother since the penultimate year of middle school, and you've been friends ever since. You know all about his home life, about the death of his late mother, his poor excuse of a father, and his asshole brother, who seems to care less about his brother than his own health, and that is an extreme low. You know about what his father does to him on a regular basis, beating the poor bot black and blue, not caring about his own son's health and wellbeing.

Daryl has come to you on more than one occasion, needing your help in medical attention. He'd climb up your fence, reaching your bedroom window and knocking on it, praying that you were still awake and ready to help. You always were, ready to put anything on the line for him. You'd tend to his wounds, cleaning up the semi-dried blood off his scarred body, sobbing quietly every time.

Now the two of you are dating, and there's nothing in the world that could pull you apart. Thanks to the fact that you're both graduates, you can move on with your new adult lives, together. Daryl has told you that he wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his days with you over and over, and you've told him the same.

You look at Daryl and smile at him before the photographer takes the class picture to put on the wall in the reception, a school tradition that went back years before you and Daryl were born. He gave you a small smile back before turning his attention to the camera man, who was asking all students to look forward and smile. You could see in your peripheral vision the people around you smiling broadly and you did the same, though you imagined that Daryl's wasn't, and the thought somewhat amused you, making your smile slightly more true.

After the picture was taken, the students were free to go home and relax, so you began to leave. Before you could make it out, someone grabbed your arm and began to pull you backwards. You whipped your head around to see who it was, alarm evident on your face, only to see your boyfriend, which made you smile softly as he tugged you along with him, leading you somewhere.

Eventually, you left the large group of both students and teachers, and headed down the alleyway leading to behind the dumpsters, you usual make-out spot.

"Daryl," you managed through a giggle. "Why are you bringing me here? We don't need to come here anymore. We can do this back at my place." Daryl sighed and turned to you, looking down at you with a serious expression that shit you up instantly.

His expression softened after seeing yours, and he let a small smile creep onto his handsome face. "I'm bringin' ya here cuz I dunno where else to take ya." He said, though it made more sense to him than it did to you. "I jus', I dunno where ta do this where it'll be special, cuz ya deserve nothin' less than perfect." He said sincerely, looking at you with something you could only describe as pure love and adoration in his baby blues.

"Daryl," you said calmly, bringing your hand up to stoke his cheek lovingly. "I love you, but what on earth are you talking about?" He chuckled slightly, then put his right hand in his pocket and it stayed there.

"You, y/n l/n, are the sweetest, most prettiest, most kindest person on this planet," he began, keeping his gaze on you. "Ya make me feel like I ain't ever felt before, 'n I can't find nothin' that'll make me feel the same way ya do. I wanna make ya happy, 'n I know I ain't ever gon' be rich, 'n I can' give ya none fancy 'n expensive, but I can give ya all I have, 'n I hope tha's enough."

He then brought his hand out of his pocket, a small box clutched tightly in his scarred fist. You let out a small gasp and tears welled in your eyes as he dropped down on one knee.

"Y/n," he said, tearing up a bit himself. "Will, will ya make me the happiest man alive and become Mrs Dixon?" He asked, a genuine smile on his face.

You let out a happy sob as you nodded your head frantically up and down before squealing "Yes! Yes, yes I will!"

Daryl laughed in disbelief before sweeping you off your feet and twirling you in two circles before putting you down again. He giggled for the first time in a long time with you, looking into your eyes and nudging your noses together, allowing both of your tears if joy to mingle as the poured down both of your cheeks.

You then put both of your hands in his hair as you kissed his passionately, closing your eyes and allowing yourself to bask in the moment. When you pulled away, Daryl opened the box once more to reveal the ring to you. It was beautiful, the diamond in the middle shone brightly, and the smaller diamond surrounding it shone just as bright. He lifted you hand and slid the ring on your finger; a perfect fit.

You giggled once more, giddy with delight as you looked up at him once more. Then a couple of questions presented themselves in your mind. "Daryl, how did you know what ring size I was?" You asked him. He blushed a little before admitting to you what he had done.

"I measured yer finger while ya was asleep. Wrapped a piece of paper 'round it and cut it. Then went to the jewellery shop and they were very nice and showed me that you were size [insert]. So I got a ring that I thought that ya would like in that size and they said that if I didn't have 'nough money on me then, that I could always pay em back in small amounts in the future. I chose that option since I didn't have 'nough on me then." You smiled brightly, squeezing his hand tightly.

"What are we going to do about the wedding? Do we have to invite anyone?" He thought for a second, his hands now resting on your waist, his grip tightening as she thought. "What if we eloped?" He asked, looking down to gage your response. "Yeah, that way then we don't have to tell anyone, but it'll be pretty much set in stone that we're married. I like your style, soon-to-be Mr Dixon." You said with a smirk. "And I like ya attitude, soon-to-be Mrs Dixon." He said, copying your smirk as he chucked.

"When are we going to do it?" You asked him, kissing him in the cheek. "Hmm, how bout tomorrow?" He asked. "What, can't wait any longer?" You teased, lacing your fingers deeper into his dirty blonde locks. "Nope. No I cannot. I can't wait for the lifea me." He said matter-of-factly.

"Okay then," you giggled. "We'll do it tomorrow. We'll pack our things, go get something nice to wear and get married. Then we can leave. Sounds like a plan to me."

He hugged you closer to him as he leaned down further. "Sounds like a plan ta me,too." He said, almost capturing your lips in another kiss.

"I love you, Daryl." You said, closing your eyes.

"I love ya more, precious." He said, as he closed the distance between you.

[be-missed]

Cool About It

Jenna Ortega X Fem!Reader

Summary: Jenna and Y/N are life-long best friends, but can Y/N still stand and hide her feelings after Jenna pulled a prank on her?

Warning/s: curse words, notify me if there are any.

A/N: Hi, hope this can be a good substitute for Chap 4 of Not Strong Enough. Enjoy! (clearing things out, this is not the Chapter 4 for Not Strong Enough, this is just a substitute story for you all, so that you have something to read while waiting for the Chapter 4 for Not Strong Enough.)

Masterlist

Nothing To Lose (Part 2) | Bad for Business (Part 3)

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"Come on it'll be fun, we can walk around the park and then ride the boat." Jenna explained while lying down in Y/N's bed and scrolling through her phone.

Y/N looked at her with a questioning look and said "Isn't that a bad idea? Because people might hover over us and people will just follow us and that is something that my anxiety can't handle."

"Noooo, pleaseee. This is a good idea, it's a Thursday afternoon, nobody or only least people will be at the park." Jenna answered, pouting.

"Jenna, stop." Y/N said with a smile on her face "You know it's hard for me when you do that."

Ans Jenna just smiled because she knows that Y/N is so close to going "Pleeaasseeee, pretty pleaseeee. I'll buy you an ice cream." Jenna proposed.

"Hmm, you think an ice cream can make me agree with your plan, huh?" Y/N answered.

"Yes, I know that you will agree to me sooner. Just imagine us binding after such a long time of not seeing each other. Also, may I remind you that I'll be leaving the country in December to film for Wednesday so this is a great time to spend with me before we get situated again in face time." Jenna is now showing Y/N a sad face.

Jenna's statement made Y/N wonder, that yes, it is true that Jenna's break will be over soon, meaning that she will be receiving a call or a message from Jenna during ungodly times which, she diligently answers, whether it may be a call or a message.

Y/N sighs and Jenna knows that y/N will now agree with her plan. But before Y/N agrees, Jenna started to jump in Y/N's bed and smiles at Y/N.

"You know me so fucking well Jenna Marie Ortega." Y/N said while scratching her brow "Yes, sure we'll go to the park."

And then Jenna went ot hug Y/N and delivers ton of kisses on Y/N's face.

Y/N thought, "Fucking hell, how can I disagree with this girl. If she tells me to jump on a tall something, I would even do some back flips. She wants me to run around New York City? I would do it with my tits out. She want me to marry her and be the mother of her children? I will for sure do that without a doubt. The last part, is a false hope. I know Jenna isn't into me since the first time that I met her."

"Okay, collect your things and get dressed, we're going to Central Park." Y/N said and taps Jenna's crown and smiled at her like a cute puppy.

Even if Jenna and Y/N are together, they will literally wear the headphones that they bought for each other, just to drown out their environment. But even the noise cancelling headphone can't stop them to communicate with each other. After knowing each other so well for years, they don't need to communicate verbally.

While walking, Y/N then got lost again with her own thoughts. She feels that Jenna knows that she likes her more than a best friend should have for quite some time now. That is why in the past few months, Y/N has been getting a lot more "busier" when it comes to Jenna. She tries so hard to detach herself from the girl. If Jenna won't be kind enough to be cruel about it and just reject her, then Y/N will try to be cool about it even though it's probably not even true.

Arriving at Central Park, the two girls started to walk nonchalantly, going where their feet take them, not caring about the people that took notice of them.

They sometime give snacks to the pigeons or the ducks that they passed by, try to pet the dog that was sitting beside their owner. Taking a look at thier surroundings, both of them realised that a lot from the park changed, the becnhes that were once there, the trees thatvwere cut out and displaced by another plant, and the rusts on the bench that they always pass by.

Y/N was walking not until Jenna stopped by the row boat rentals and Y/N just moved her head from side to side "Nuh uh, Jenna. We won't and we can't." Y/N said.

"But why? We used to ride the boats and just row around, pretending to be a part of a rowing team." Jenna stated pulling at Y/N's sleeve.

"Jen, that was before." Y/N reasoned.

Jenna looked sad "Do you not want to be seen with me? Is that it?"

That was the last thing that Y/N wants Jenna to think of because it is not true.

"No, absolutely not. I just think that..." Y/N said not knowing any reason on why not to ride the boat.

"See you have no reasons to not ride it. So please let's ride the boat." Jenna said, and with that they got a boat, just the two of them and started to row.

Many people are also in their own boat, talking, playing, laughing and admired their surroundings. Also, Y/N and Jenna's boat didn't get unnoticed by the people in the park or inside the boat. People were waving at them and calling Jenna's name. Jenna waved back or replied to them but her focus was still focused on you, not until you hear Jenna coughed.

Many boats surrounds you as this is where one of the good spots for a picture. It means that many people also surrounds you and can literally hear each other.

"Mhmm, Y/N, I don’t know where to start..." Jenna said with a smirk ok her face and Y/N didn't know what's going on, Jenna then continued "We have known each other for a lot of years, we have been with each other through our ups and downs and we are still here." Jenna then secretly took the ring from her pointer finger and present it in front of you.

Now. Now Y/N is so baffled with what is Jenna doing, people started to look at them and paid attention to what is happening inside their boat. Even the people who are in land started to stop and watch the scene unfolding in front of them.

"I have loved you ever since I met you and I want to love you 'till the day I die. I just want to ask if, will you marry me?" Jenna got up from her seat and started to kneel with her right knee.

Y/N's thoughts are all over. Why is Jenna fucking doing this? Is this her way to fucking play with her feelings? Is this all a joke to Jenna? She wants Jenna to be cruel about it and just reject her but not this way, Y/N will try her best to be cool about it even if it's not, but this stunt? Y/N didn't know if she can still see Jenna and not say some hurtful things towards the girl.

Everyone around them started to cheer and fished their phone out to capture this moment, because hell, Jenna Ortega is proposing. Flashing of lights where delivered from each phone that is hanging out, hollers and congratulations can be heard in different directions, claps can be heard everywhere and that triggered Y/N.

It was so loud around her, and why the fuck is Jenna proposing to her.

"Jenna I need to get out." Y/N said.

"What do you mean?" Jenna started to see the panic in Y/N's eyes.

"Fuck Jenna I need to get out of here" Y/N stated and started to row the boat in a faster pace that forced Jenna to take a seat.

As the boat started to get near the dock, Y/N didn't gave Jenna a time to talk and bolted away. Away from the girl, away from the people, and away from the world.

---

Many hours has passed but Jenna can't still contact Y/N. Jenna even waited in front of Y/N's front door for hours but there were no signs of her best friend.

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A/N: Hoped this is good enough. Thoughts and comments are open, thanks for reading!

Nothing To Lose (part 2)

[meguwumibear]

angsty toge writing warm up

"I'm the only one left you know," Toge tells you, slumping down next to your exhausted form. "From my clan, I mean. The higher ups think the technique is dangerous and have outlawed it. Those who inherit it anyway, well..."

This is the most he's spoken in years. The words don't feel right on his tongue. They take up too much space. He has to think real hard to force them out.

"That's awful," you say, rolling onto your side to get a better look at him.

The two of you were dispatched hours ago to deal with a second grade cursed spirit. The assignment wasn't supposed to take very long, but it seems jujutsu society is struggling to understand curse ranking these days. The curse may have appeared weak, but it's technique was anything but. Somehow, someway, it had nullified your own.

Toge noticed first after his command to explode went unheeded. His purple eyes widened in surprise as the curse continued its attack as if he had said nothing at all.

With no cursed technique to rely on, the exorcism took a few grueling hours. You took turns brawling with the monster while the other attempted to poor their limited cursed energy into a tool. You're both a bloody mess by the time the curse finally fades away.

The curses death did not return either of your techniques to you.

"How long do you think it'll take for our techniques to return?"

There's a nasty gash on Toge's forehead, right above his left eye. The curse was strong and had sharp, pointy claws. Toge wasn't able to dodge all of its attacks in time.

The sorcerer is flat on his back, staring up at the starless sky. The light pollution from the nearby city blocks out even the moon's light.

"Don't know," he shrugs. "Maybe never."

There's a sad little smile on his lips when he replies. He doesn't roll to meet you as if he's worried looking you in the eyes will allow you to see past them into the crevices of his brain.

"Would it be so bad if they never came back?"

"Dunno," you shrug. "I don't feel particularly attached to mine. I think I'd miss the school though. And Yuuta and Maki."

Slim fingers pick anxiously at overgrown blades of grass, "you could probably stay on if you wanted. Used cursed tools like Maki. I'm sure they'd even give you glasses if you needed them."

What goes unsaid is louder than what does.

"You wouldn't stay? Even knowing what you do?"

He doesn't respond right away. It's been some time since he's had to communicate more than a greeting or affirmation. His thoughts have spent so much time stuck in his own head, they aren't sure how to come out.

"It would be hard to leave."

It's getting late. The two of you were due back hours ago. The starless sky is vast but your time on Earth is short.

"Let's go," Toge says and instantly regrets. He hadn't felt his technique return but the way you jolt forward confirms it's back. It isn't one of his usual commands. He didn't even realize he'd put any cursed energy into the words.

How could he be so careless? He knows better.

"Mustard leaf," he manages, turning from you. "Cavier."

"Toge," you try, reaching out to grab him. "I'm not hurt. I know you didn't mean it. It's alright."

He doesn't let you touch him. He doesn't want your comfort or sympathy. There's no point. Your techniques have returned which means you can both go back to your training and exorcising.

Would it be so bad if they never came back?

For society maybe, but not for him.

[ghost-likes-drawing]

Just wish I knew what caused it

(Fitpac Exs to Lovers)

Ch.2 (to be named later)

Translations done with assistance from: @caracolast (Portuguese and Beta reader) @keezers and @iridescentpull (Spanish)

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This one is much shorter

Okay maybe things would not just be okay. But things were still pretty okay...

The first night got even more akward because Cellbit insisted that since the Guest house wasn't even ready like it was meant to be that Fit and Ramon should have meals with the family. Fit wanted to refuse but he also wasn't sure what else they were going to do for food and so he accepted the invitation.

Pepito was the one who collected them for dinner. He was quiet but looked at Fit and Ramon with a wide eyed excitement.

“Do you want to sit next to me? Apa usually does but he can't tonight” Pepito smiled up at Ramon.

Ramon who had always had a soft spot for young kids nodded “Of course.”

Fit hummed and ruffled Ramon's hair “looks like you're already making friends”

When they got down to the table Pepito pulled Ramon to where Pepito’s chair was set up so he could reach the table better.

On Pepito’s other side was Cellbit. On Cellbit's Other side was Richarlyson. On Richarlyson's other side was Pac. Finally between Pac and Ramon was the only chair left… great.

Fit sat down and avoided looking at Pac and hoped he did the same.

A lot of dinner was quiet. Cellbit seemed comfortable and the kids were just enjoying the food so Fit felt assured that was just how this family ate.

"Ah é, Pac, precisamos trazer mais cadeiras pra casa antes que Roier e Bobby voltem" Cellbit said almost as a reminder to himself

Pac hummed "Vou pegar emprestado da casa de hóspedes"

"Richas, você pode ajudar ele. Só pra terminar mais rápido."

Richarlyson groaned

¡Yo puedo ayudar! Si es para apa y bubba. ¿Por favor?" Pepito piped up looking at Celbit with big eyes.

“I dunno Pepitinho, the chairs can be kinda heavy” Cellbit said cautiously

“Oh let him. He’s tough enough. He's seven after all.”

“eight soon!” Pepito reminded excitedly

“oh yes eight soon” Pac nodded

Cellbit hummed "Tá bom, mas se ele se machucar-"

“Não vai. Não comigo tomando conta dele." Pac said Confidently “right Pepit?”

Pepito nodded confidently

Fit felt his heart ache a bit but pushed it down. He shouldn't care about Pac. Pac clearly moved on, he had two kids who liked him, and a husband. Fit should be moved on to. If he'd been asked about it just a few days ago he'd probably say he had moved on. It was 12 years ago and he had Ramon to look out for since then. He was over it.

But Richas was talking to Pac in Portuguese and he heard Pac laugh and Fit ached. He'd push through. He was over it.

Dinner finished and Fit insisted he do the dishes as a thank you for their hospitality and despite Cellbit’s insistence it wasn't necessary Fit won out and Ramon stayed back at the table to let Pepito keep talking.

Richarlyson ran off do do something Fit didn't pay enough attention to remember what.

Cellbit and Pac stepped outside to talk and when they came back in Pac went upstairs claiming his prosthesis was bothering him.

Cellbit walked next to Fit and spoke quietly “Thank you again for the dishes you didn't have to”

Fit shrugged “never was one to be waited on”

Cellbit nods “I uh Spoke with Pac and if Ramon’s interested he'd love to have help and teach him what he knows. He’ll be payed for his help too.”

Fit looked to Cellbit almost suprised “oh thank you-”

Cellbit interrupted “He did tell me though-” Fit’s heart fell into his stomach “-about your history. Pac says he can keep what's happened out of the now, be professional. It's been long enough. He says he's over it. I'm just here to make sure it'll be the same for you”

“of course!” Fit confirmed quickly “I would never want to psych him out or something and it was forever ago so I'm not trying to-”

Cellbit gave him a look of intrigue and Fit stoped talking.

“I'll be keeping it professional. I won't step out of line with Pac.”

“Good good” Cellbit hummed “just… if you do… I can help you get a matching set of arms” Cellbit’s face went deadly serious and as a veteran Fit knew that look meant it was the threat it sounded like. "... so be professional, queridinho"

“Understood.” Fit nodded “I will.”

Cellbit’s face lightened up “great. I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast! 6 am.”

Fit nodded and gave a small salute with his hand before Cellbit turned and walked away going upstairs taking Pepito up with him for a shower.

Okay so Cellbit was a very protective husband. That's fine. Fit wouldn't give him any reason to go for the throat.

Ramon hoped on to the counter meant to seperate the kitchen from the dining room and threw his legs over the counter to dangle them in the kitchen “okay so I'm attached. Pepito is just the sweetest ever. And his Spanish is fantastic”

“Portuguese” Fit corrected “They’re Brazilian.. or Pac is anyway and Cellbit clearly is fluent in Portuguese as well, seems more confident in it then English. So I'm assuming he's Brazilian.”

Ramon paused “no Pepito was definitely speaking Spanish. Mexican Spanish at that.” Ramon stretched “I couldn't really understand Pac and Cellbit but Pepito I understood very well.”

Fit hummed. That is weird “I see. How do you know it's Mexican Spanish?”

“Spreen had taught me the differences.” Ramon had to bite his lip at the look Fit gave him to not laugh “Okay And my Spanish teacher in middle school. But Spreen did talk a lot about this Mexican guy he used to date and Pepito kinda has a similar speach pattern to the impression Spreen did.”

Fit shrugged and dropped it. If it meant not talking about Spreen he'd save this mystery for later... or never

“Alright I'm done. Get off their counter” Fit said drying off his hands “we have an early morning so let's try and get ready as quick as we can so we can rest.”

Ramon nods agreeing and hops off the counter. Ramon walks up the stairs followed by Fit after checking the house was in order. They got ready, showering, brushing teeth and such the like. When they were shuffling into bed Fit finally piped back up

“Pac says he'd take the help. Cellbit will pay for your time too.” Fit recounted while getting his arm off and putting it away safely

“Really?” Ramon sat up smiling. Although the look quickly turned calculating as he hummed

Fit nodded and saw the look “ayyyy no. No you're not going to try and get Pac to tell you what happened” Fit grabbed his son by the middle with his right arm before wrestling him down as Ramon giggled trying to escape “Cellbit already warned about what’ll happen if I get on Pac’s nerves or if I make a move. Those rules are applying to you too” Fit poked Ramon's shoulder with his nub

Ramon giggled and groaned dramatically “fine fine. I won't let me go.” Ramon started to squirm to get out of Fit’s grasp.

Fit shrugged and let go “I think I made myself clear. It's NYFB-”

“Don't shout there's still a seven year old down the hall.” Ramon reminded

“I wasn't going to do that.” Fit Sneered playfully before getting himself comfy “I'm taking out my hearing aids alright?”

“Alright Fit. Rest well.” Ramon yawned getting himself comfortable

“Goodnight Ramon.” Fit hummed taking out his hearing aids and plugging them in to charge.

Fit turned off the lights and closed his eyes glad to find that sleep came quick. He want sure he was in a place to process any of his emotions right now.

A note: My Spanish translators may not be from Mexico. So if it's wrong... oops

[a-nick]

Persona 5: The Final Heist

Hey, first post! This little story is just something I've had cooked up - its not my best work, but I figured its a strong start for my tumblr blog. Without further ado, here's Final Heist. A sort of reunion "what if" scenario for the thieves final heist... (stick around if you enjoy Shadow Joker plotlines, hehe).

Chapter 1

REN AMAMIYA - MORGANA

Another day, another failed job interview. Ren Amamiya was used to the rejection by now, but that didn't mean he was ever any less disappointed. He lazily laid on his bed, body sprawled out and face planted in a pillow.

"Another failed interview?" His not-cat companion purred from across the room.

Ren didn't make an effort to remove his face from his pillow. The only thing he offered Morgana was a muffled, "yes."

"Then I'm not sure this will make your day any better." Morgana padded over to Ren. There was something in his mouth that he dropped on the foot of the bed.

Ren lifted his head to see what it was, even more disappointment panged in his chest when he realized what it was. An eviction notice. "I thought I had more time?"

Morgana lept onto the bed, moving over to Ren's side. "It's because your criminal record, I think." He moved in closer to Ren, lying by the boy's side. "I'm sorry, Ren." The fated criminal record. Unfortunately, despite being free of Shido's false accusations, he wasn't free from it. That would be thanks to his time spent as the leader of the Phantom Thieves, but Ren was still glad it wasn't affecting the others.

Ren sighed, he flipped his legs to hang them over the bed, cupping his hands over his face. Feelings of dread and aimlessness pooled into him. All he wanted to do was live a normal life, but life always delt him different cards. He always figured out a way, but these days it had begun to feel hopeless.

"I don't know what to do," Ren croaked out. "I feel like I've tried everything, Morgana."

Morgana felt his own sorrow seeing Ren in such a state. It hurt to see his partner in crime feeling so hopeless. But what hurt even more was that Morgana knew he could do nothing. He just continued to stay at the teen's side, letting him caress him for stress relief.

"Are you gonna go live with your parents?" The feline asked.

"No," Ren fell onto his back, now staring at the ceiling. "It'll just bring them trouble. Having a "delinquent" around I mean, everyone in town is just going to look down on them again."

"Ren..." was all Morgana managed to say. The two sat in a still silence. Ren mulling over ideas in contemplation. Morgan just being by his side. But that was when an idea hit Morgana... "Why not go back to Tokyo for a bit? With Sojiro, rents free! It'll be easier to look for a job, too."

Ren slowly looked at Morgana, a sense of hope twinkling in his eyes. "You may be onto something... But I don't want to be a burden to him either." "C'mon, Ren, it's Sojiro we're talking about! You've done so much for him, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"Hmm..." Ren went into a thinking position. His legs were crossed and he scratched his chin. "I guess I can try shooting him a text."

--- Ren was honestly surprised that Sojiro said yes. But the more he thought about it, he really shouldn't have been. All Sojiro had ever been to him was kind. He did have to admit though, he felt a little nervous. It'd been a full year since he'd really seen the other thieves. Not since the EMMA incident.

He was going to originally surprise the other thieves with his arrival, but ended up sending a heads up text on the train ride to Tokyo. Just before he entered LeBlanc, he checked for any replies. Zero. Not a single thief messaged him back. He felt a pang of disappointment, but he shoved it away with the assumption they were just all busy.

Two bags in tow, Ren gave a polite knock to the closed doors of LeBlanc. In the next few heartbeats, the door swung open and Ren got to hear those familiar bells jingle once more. At the door stood Sojiro, "'bout time you showed up."

"Not looking any younger, I see." Ren joked as he stepped in.

"And you're still the same old trouble maker." Sojiro gave a jovial laugh. The two hugged, Sojiro finishing it off by saying, "glad to have you back."

After fully pulling his luggage in, Ren's brow raised at a lack of orange head. "No Futaba?" He asked, curiously tilting his head at the older man.

"Probably asleep, school's been busy for her," Sojiro answered casuaully. It was a relief for Ren to hear she was doing well in school. But he'd be lying to himself if he wasn't bummed that she wasn't around to greet him.

Sojiro passed by Ren and headed for the door. But not before dropping a key in Ren's hand. "You know the drill, lock up once you're done."

Ren nodded, "got it." Sojiro turned to leave, but Ren stopped him. "And Sojiro? Thanks."

"Anytime," and he was gone.

Ren sighed, his slapstick smile from before falling right off his face. He slunk into a nearby booth, sliding all the way down onto his bag. One last ditch attempt to look for replies, Ren lifted his phone. Zilch. Not a single thief replied. Ren sat back up, turning over the key that Sojiro handed him in his hand. "I'm gonna take a walk," he told Morgana, who'd just stepped out of Ren's bag.

"Alone? At this hour?"

Ren heaved himself out of the booth, "don't worry, I'll be fine."

The feline just nods, hoping to give off the impression that he intented on staying. But once Ren left the store he quickly padded after, slinking through the gap before the door fully shut. Morgana was worried for Ren. He just wanted to do was keep an eye on him, make sure he didn't do anything rash.

--- Ren's walk outside was more like a sleep walking daze. Lost in his thoughts, he drifted in and out of the subway. In the end, he somehow made it all the way to Shubuya. Despite the time of the night, the city streets were as busy as always.

Morgana was having a hard time keeping track of Ren. It was like he was following the empty husk of a confused zombie. He has to manage to be discreet as well, making the task all the more difficult. But he managed, he watched from afar as he watched Ren stare off into the distance.

Ren, meanwhile, was taking in the city streets. While taking a large inhale, he closed his eyes. But then... A strange feeling washed over him. But strange in a familiar way. Distortion waved around him as he felt the world wobble.

Upon reopening his eyes, the world was merely a distorted version of what it once was. The sky was blood-red, the streets hazy as faceless shadows roamed about. Ren lifted his now gloved hand to confirm his suspicions. His eyes narrowed, "the Metaverse."

RYUJI SAKAMOTO - ANN TAKAMAKI

You know that feeling where you for some reason just feel... Awkward? Like, you can't figure out why, but you just feel weird. Well that's exactly how Ryuji Sakamoto was feeling as he drowned himself in couch cushions. "Ryuji!" His roommate, Ann, threw a throw pillow directly at his face. "What's up with you now?"

Ryuji made no effort to avoid the blow, letting the pillow hit him square in the face. He only really slumped further into the couch. "It's this whole school thing, man. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep it up."

Ryuji was currently a collage student, one learning the arts of physical education. It was his aim to be one that kids could actually look up to. A teacher that kids could trust. A far cry from the teacher experiences that Ryuji himself faced. But the motivation to learn was... Lackluster, to say the least. Part of him still wished he could have gotten a track scholarship, but those dreams died with his crushed leg.

"I get it," Ann chimed back, slumping into the couch with Ryuji. "Especially with my whole part time model gig, I'm failing so hard."

"Where's Makoto when you need her," Ryuji only continued to whine.

"Probably being the top of her class or something."

“Man, go figure.”

The two blonds were now practically fully sunken into the couch. Ryuji having annoyances of college, Ann the same. Across on the counter both their phones buzzed, but neither noticed. They were too busy regretting their life choices.

The sunk so far into the couch, that it had disappeared below them. Hang on, they were now sitting on hard ground? Ryuji opened his eyes, now seeing a costumed Ann next to him. “Ryuji…” Ann gasped, “you’re wearing your Skull attire!”

Ryuji gawked back at her, “and you’re in your Panther attire?” The building they were in was now empty. Blood red light poured into the room from the window. They both stood up to peak out the window. Sure enough they were in… “The Metaverse,” they both said in unison.

MAKOTO NIJIMA

A young woman opens her apartment door with reluctance. After a long day at school, feelings of drowsiness overtook Makoto Nijima. She reentered the same apartment she’d been living in for the past year or so. She was also currently in the process of balancing her phone on her shoulder, in deep discussion with her sister. "How were classes today?” Sae asked.

“They were fine,” Makoto replied. Sae could hear the exhaustion seeping from her voice.

When she finally stepped inside she could feel a buzz against her shoulder. But she was too busy to really notice it. She just kept the conversation with Sae going as Sae asked, “how’re things between you and everyone else?”

Makoto wasn't sure how to reply. She'd had some contact with the others, mostly Haru, but no one had really hung out since last Summer. "They're fine," Makoto lied.

"Glad to hear it. While, I gotta go, goodnight Makoto.”

“Goodnight, sis.”

Makoto sighed as she plopped into the couch. She felt a bit guilty as she neglected her relationship with the others. But she'd have to tackle those feelings tomorrow, she was far too tired to think right now.

But suddenly, a familiar feeling of distortion washed over her. She was no longer sitting but standing. She opened her eyes, a window present in front of her. Her reflection bounced off it, revealing to Makoto what she was wearing. “The Metaverse,” she whispered to herself.

YUSUKE KITAGAWA – HARU OKUMURA

Yusuke had just waved Haru goodbye, she had invited him on a nice tea date. She didn’t often invite the other thieves, so he had wondered why she invited him. But unaware to him, it was because Haru pitied him and his current food situation. Yusuke was always starving due to… Well, due to the fact that he spent all his money on art supplies. He took the term “starving artist” a little too literally.

But once the two split ways for the night, they closed their eyes. Distortion took them over, “The Metaverse,” they both gasped to themselves.

FUTABA SAKURA – SUMIRE YOSHIZAWA

Futaba layed in bed, a content smile on her face. A third-year in highschool meant she was almost done. The fact that she'd gotten this far surpirsed her, she even managed to make some friends. The person she mostly hung out with though was Sumire, a fellow third-year and honorary Phantom Thief. The two grew close while at school together, Futaba would even go as far as saying Sumire was her best friend.

Of course, there were times where there relationship could feel strained. Mostly due to Sumire's gymnastics, the red head often had to take weeks off of school for competitions. But they always got over their slumps. Sumire had finally and truly earned her status as honor student, so Futaba was only really proud to call Sumire her friend.

Speaking of Sumire, the young red head was standing just outside the Sakura residants. She'd walked Futaba home and was preparing herself to leave. Not before sending Futaba a final "goodnight!" text though. To which Futaba replied "gn!" in return.

Both girls gently closed their eyes, Futaba in slumber and Sumire in joy. But that was when it happened, feelings of distortion and dizziness. Upon opening their eyes, the two realized… “The Metaverse,” they both said.

GORO AKECHI

‘The Metaverse’ were Goro Akechi’s first thoughts when he realized, well, he was in the Metaverse. This world had a strange habit of pulling him back in unceremoniously. But he’d get to the bottom of this. He always did.

SOPHIA

“How long will we stay in Tokyo?” the curious little red robot asked. Sophia’s voice rang from Ichinose’s phone. The heartfelt ai lived there after all. But Ichinose had started making efforts to move Sophia around. Everything was still only experimental, but the idea still excited Sophia. They were in Tokyo to run some experiments and get some supplies for the project.

“We’ll be here for a few days,” Ichinose answered, a pep in her voice.

“Can we visit the Phantom Thieves?” Sophia’s digital interface tilted its head. Sophia’s mannerisms sometimes mimicked that of a cat, probably influenced by Morgana.

“Of course, how can I say no to that cute little face of yours, anyways?” Ichinose was trying, but she leaned to the car seat she had placed Sophia in. She did so to boop the little robot’s digital nose.

Sophia sneezed, her nose twitching a bit after the fact. “Ichinoooseee,” Sophia whined, “I told you not to do that!” The two’s relationship was like that of mother and child. Technically speaking, that’s what they were anyway. Ichinose was Sophia’s inventor after all.

“You’re too cute. But okay, I’ll hold off. For now.” Ichinose returned to her normal sitting position, eyes actually on the road now. “Any thief you wanna see in particular?”

“All of them!” Sophia chirped back, “but I am really excited to see Renren again!” Renren, she’d started calling Ren that after she heard Ryuji say it.

“Oh, was he their suave leader?”

Sophia nodded, “yep!”

Sophia closed her big blue eyes, feelings of excitement washing over her. She just couldn’t wait to see the rest of the Phantom Thieves again! But that was when it happened. Feelings of distortion and waviness moved around here. She could feel herself grow a physical form. Ichinose now gone: Sophia opened her eyes, knowing exactly where she was, “The Metaverse.”

ZENKICHI HASAGAWA

“And you’re sure about this?” Zenkichi Hasagawa spoke into the phone, talking to his only daughter. He was now in Tokyo on police business, but he felt guilty leaving Akane behind. But Akane insisted it was fine. She’d grown so much, and he was so proud of her.

“It’s fine, dad. I’ll be staying at a friend’s house anyways. Plus, things are different now; you don’t need to walk on eggshells around me. I really am proud of my dad and his profession.”

“Akane…” Zenkichi sniffled. After everything with her mom, he was sure she’d never look him in the eye again. And he was also sure that he deserved it. But thanks to those pesky kids, they were able to smooth over their relationship. They were now closer than ever and Zenkichi couldn’t be happier. Speaking of those pesky kids…

“Are you gonna visit those guys that came to the house that one time?” His daughter asked.

“Those guys,” he chuckled at her calling them that. Little did she know that “those guys,” were her idols, the Phantom Thieves. But she was right, he’d definitely have to pay them all a visit. “You know what, I think I will,” he answered.

“Luuucky, you should tell them to come visit again soon!” Distantly, Zenkichi could hear the voice of another teen in the background. He assumed it must have been one of Akane’s school friends. “Well, that’s my cue. Gotta go, dad; good luck in Tokyo!” And she was gone.

Zenkichi could feel his chest swell with pride. He was truly proud of the young woman his daughter was becoming, he was honored to be her father. Letting the euphoria pour over him, Zenkichi closed his eyes for a split second.

That split second changed everything, though. Waves of distortion moved around him, the world wobbled, and he was having a hard time standing on his own two feet. He reopened his eyes to blood red skies, “The Metaverse.”

TOSHIRO KASUKABE – ERINA

“Then, hopefully someday we can—” mid-sentence, someone chucked a banana peel at Toshiro Kasukabe. He lifts it off his head, curiously examining it. A banana peel he thought, that’s a new one. By the time he looked back up and was ready to continue, everyone had already left. Oh well, he’d just have to return tomorrow and try again.

“For what it’s worth,” a voice called out, “I believe you.” Toshiro sporadically looked around to detect where the voice came from. Eventually, an older gentleman revealed himself. “I don’t think you’re some rotten politician, I believe you when you say you want to help this country.”

Toshiro eyed the gentlemen curiously, “thank you, I appreciate that.”

“I was once in your position once, people accusing me of things left and right. But I kept at it, and I think you should too.”

Toshiro gazed down at his singular gloved hand, “that’s the goal.”

The man planted a hand on Toshiro’s shoulder, gently smiling at him. “Glad to hear it,” the next thing Toshiro knew, the older gentleman disappeared into the night. Something felt familiar about the man to Toshiro, but he couldn’t quite put a finger on why. He shrugged; it was nice to get the support at least. People like that man is what encouraged Toshiro to keep trying. People like him and...

"We still on for dinner tomorrow?" Texted Eri Natsuhara. He smiled at his phone, sending her back a "yes, we are" text promptly.

As feelings of contentment overwhelmed him, he took a long inhale, closing his eyes and taking in the fresh nighttime air.

But then... an unfamiliar feeling of distortion washed over him. He cupped his hand over his mouth, suddenly feeling the urge to puke. Before he could even gather what was happening to him, he heard a voice.

“Toshiro?”

He opened his eyes, “Erina?”

[marshallpupfan]

Marshall Merchandise Update!

Got some interesting new additions for my collection to show off today! Eventually, I need to show everything off again... as soon as I get things organized again. I still have items I bought from early last year that I still haven't found a spot for yet. I've been slacking! lol

First off, this lapel pin... being graciously held up by Wolf O'Donnell. There's probably a "can't let you do that" joke in here somewhere, but I can't think of any right off hand. 😅

This was actually sent to me by a friend, who recently paid a visit to Nickelodeon Universe (an indoor theme park). While she was there, she seen this and got it for me, hoping it was something I didn't have. Fortunately, it wasn't! A fine item for my collection, indeed! She'll likely see this post later, so if you're reading this, thank you again!

Actually, I believe she also went a year or two ago and managed to find the Meet & Greet Marshall wandering around. She even got a picture & video with him, too. I was quite envious! 😄

Next, this "magic towel" thing. It's also being held up by another wolf - this time, it's Wolf Link, from "The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess". Can you tell I'm a bit of a Nintendo gamer? lol

Anyhoo, I was just doing some shopping with my mother in a dollar store when I happened to stumble upon this. It was only $1.25, so... why not get it? The artwork isn't the best, but hey, I still like it.

Next, one of those "Good 2 Grow" snack containers! Actually, funny story about this one. I was at a gas station, not expecting to see anything pertaining to PAW Patrol, when I seen one of these that someone left at the front near the cashier. However...

It was actually one of Zuma, which surprised me, since they usually pass him up to focus on the main four. I meant to post about it on Twitter/X, but like usual, I forgot. In any case, I decided to track one down, and I soon found one of Marshall at Walmart. It was the last one, too! Unless I'm mistaken, they also had one of Liberty, so I guess they went beyond just the six original pups this time. Nice!

As you might recall, we've actually seen products like this before, about a year or two ago. Back then, it was just the pups in their regular outfits. This time, they went with a superhero theme, no doubt due to The Mighty Movie. I'm not sure why they went with Super Paws and not the Mighty Movie outfits, but maybe these were easier to mold. Who knows, but hey, I quite like it when older outfits get brought back, instead of them getting forgotten in the sands of time.

I just wish we could see THIS outfit again someday. It had a brief reappearance in that "Mighty Pups Save Adventure Bay" video game, but that's it so far. Sadly, at this point, I doubt we'll ever see it again.

Er... guess I got a little distracted here, sorry!

Last, and absolutely not least, is this brand new item! Something I knew about for many months and couldn't wait to get a hold of one for myself! It's "Storytime with Marshall" by Leap Frog!

(In hindsight, taking these pictures in front of my monitor may not have been the best idea. Hopefully they're not too hard to see. 😅)

This thing is legitimately super awesome! They really got his likeness down so well here! I mean, seriously, just look at it! It's so cute! It's easily one of the best pieces of merch I've got in my collection now!

According to the box, it can do quite a lot. It includes 40+ stories, which I assume are based on various episodes (I haven't listened to them yet, but I also assume they focus on different pups, going by the buttons on the front... yeah, it's a shame there's no Rocky or Zuma again, I know). It has a sleep timer, to help lull the little ones to sleep at night before shutting off and all that. Additionally, it teaches "core learning skills" or something, whatever that means. That's cool and all, but of course, for me, I just wanted it because I absolutely love how it looks. It'll look great on one of my shelves! lol

I'll admit, I'm glad this came out before the new animation style got applied. While I like Marshall's updated season 11 look so far (I might make a separate post about that later), his original design is still my #1 favorite. A part of me hopes to keep collecting more merchandise of THIS Marshall, but I know that, by next year, they'll probably retire this design and start using the new one, permanently. Guess I'll enjoy it while it lasts. 😅

And that's all for now! I currently have another item coming in the mail; Marshall's new Rescue Wheels big wheel vehicle + figurine. It's been delayed, but it's supposed to show up at some point next week. Hopefully, the remaining Rescue Wheels merchandise will show up in stores soon enough, and I'll be able to show them all off soon. I might also have to buy a Boomer figurine, too. lol

[dailyshowchica]

Loki Cosplay Part 8

Previously on Loki Cosplay: https://www.tumblr.com/dailyshowchica/761376032329777152/loki-cosplay-part-7?source=share

So with Halloween rapidly approaching, I have been working on the detail work for Loki's trousers, tunic, and coat. I am not done yet, but I am making progress.

First, the trousers. These were the easiest to do, since all I had to do was cut out a bunch of small rectangles out of metallic silver craft foam.

One of these I used E6000, and the other, I used a hot glue gun. The E6000 discolored some of the squares. Since E6000 doesn't dry right away, I covered my work with a plastic bag and weighted it down with a few large books overnight. In pulling away the plastic, I lost some silver.

I also used a lot more adhesive than I thought I would, so for the other leg, I used hot glue. That dries almost instantly, but I'm not sure it's as secure. It'll be fine for pictures, but if I were to wear this to a con, I might want to use E6000 just be to sure it stays together. It worked perfectly for my sister's dance costumes, after all.

Next up, the tunic. That is two pieces that I'll snap on, a chest piece, and a stomach/skirt piece.

I had to think for awhile about how to make the chest piece. In the end, I went with craft foam, and the gold lining fabric I had gotten for the skirt jacket. I cut out the fabric and glued it to a heavy paper template. But as you can see, the E6000 bled through. So, I made another necklet out of fabric. This was double-layered and treated like a ribbon, or waist tie, with finished edges. This fabric frays like crazy, so the edges had to be sewn. Then I sewed the all-fabric necklet in place. I lost more than I expected to in seam allowance, so it's not a perfect match. But it covers the glue stains, and looks pretty good. And Pretty Good is Good Enough. Time to move on.

This is where the scrap pieces of the black vinyl/faux leather came in handy. I looked at pictures of Loki and copied the shapes as best as I could. The vinyl doesn't fray, but I've tried to finish these edges anyway, if only for a bit more security. Plus, the skirt part of the tunic has matching trim to the coat. While the original may have metal trim, I'm just using gold ribbon in a decorative stitch at the edge.

The coat trim is the most work by volume, and work that has to be done by hand. From the Marvel Studios Visual Dictionary, I was able to see the metallic trim on the inside and outside of Loki's coat. And I luckily had SOME of that material handy- it was also thee scarf/tie Crowley used in his Heavenly disguise in Good Omens Season 2. But I don't have a lot of it. Also, this stuff can snag on other fabrics if you're not careful, so I decided it was only going on the outside. The inside trim was a gold-colored fabric remnant I found at Joann fabrics.

Using legal paper, I determined the positioning of the trim stripes. And as I was working, Ruthie cat came to supervise. She loves a good tent, and the coat, hanging on a tall chair with the skirt panels spread out, makes a pretty good tent.

I made the inner trim by cutting the strips maybe half an inch wider than needed, ironed nonwoven fusible interfacing to the back, and rolled back the edges. As I said above, this fabric frays like crazy, so I was very careful yo make sure there were no raw edges.

I have a bracelet of that same chainmail material in blue, so I used that and a scrap of the vinyl fabric to test sewing the mail in place. It works, but given how small the holes in the mail are, I have to move the needle straight up and down, which means there's going to be visible stitching on the inside. Not too big a problem, but it does mean the outer trim has to go on first. Then I can cover the stitching with the inner trim.

I also can't really pin the outer trim in place. Luckily for me, my mom worked for a magnet company for a few years, and I have lots of small, very strong magnets. Those work very well to hold the mail in place as I sew.

The gold embroidery thread was something I bought for my God of Stories costume, but it's too fine for what I had planned. So, to use it up, I'm using it to sew the inner trim in place- it's too thick/prone to snagging to be used on the outer trim.

I opted to sew in a zigzag pattern when attaching the trim. That way it's secure along the whole length and at the edges without me needing to go all the way around, as I will need to with the inner trim. But I can use invisible hem stitching on the inner hem, so it all evens out.

But then Ruthie decided I had worked long enough. But I've got the path mapped out, and sooner or later, I'll get it finished.

See ya next time!

[thelastarchangelaskblog]

Seventh Year: Forgiveness Bonus Scene 1

So, I only have the one bonus scene so far for this chapter. There may be one or two more but for now this is it. And this was one I wrote a while in advance because of the vibes. Such vibes.

It'll be pretty evident what this is for. :)

The art is by @the-grey-hunt! Ne did a fabulous job of it. <3

**

Should Samael do this? Probably not, in the most technical sense of the term, but Samael could do it, and that made all the difference. But ne needed a little more information first, and Michael was not going to be the right person to ask.

The last thing Samael wanted to do was cause that terrible grief again. It reminded nem too much of Gabriel’s, though this grief also had a nice helping of guilt. It was a double dose of nastiness and Samael had other people ne could ask.

Only Michael’s friends seemed to be dealing with a hangover from hell. As far as Samael could currently tell, Michael was attempting to console the ones still left behind in the room. He would probably have a better chance of that if he took their hangovers away but Samael wasn’t going to judge him wanting them to learn from experience.

But there were three who weren’t in the room, even if they were all also nursing nasty hangovers. They were in the kitchens, apparently trying to coax some post-hangover meals out of the staff. The food was going okay; the drinks – namely pumpkin juice and butterbeer – not so well, as the staff gave them blank looks on hearing about butterbeer.

“You know, I’m not sure butterbeer is the best cure for a hangover, but sure. We can give it a whirl.”

There was a startled flail from Justin, Ernie, and Neville. Neville knocked over a bucket of eels on the counter that Samael saved from spilling over the floor. Åse would make nir next so many meals miserable if Samael let that happen to their beloved kitchen floor.

“Michael isn’t here,” Ernie said, squinting at Samael. “He’s currently trying to coax the others out of bed.”

It was a mental image Samael had never known ne wanted. Ne refrained from peeking in, since Michael definitely would notice that.

“I know that,” Samael said cheerfully, not making any effort to lower nir voice. “I’m here for you!”

“Why?” Neville asked suspiciously. He steadied himself with a hand on the counter, making sure there wasn’t anything else there he could knock down.

“If this is about last night, I have nothing to tell you,” Ernie said firmly.

Samael paused, giving him a curious look. “Why? What happened last night?”

“Even if I knew I wouldn’t tell you. Malfoy’s smug face this morning is already going to give me nightmares.”

“I’m regretting not taking Michael up on his offer to sober me up,” Justin moaned, rubbing over his forehead. “Now he won’t even bother, since it’s a ‘learning experience.’”

“That sounds like him. Let me know how the learning experience goes.”

“Why are you here again?” Neville asked. “Just to poke fun at us?”

“No. I mean, I could, but that’s not what I’m here for. Why don’t we get some actual food for you and then we can talk?”

They all exchanged doubtful glances.

“Susan’s going to kill us if we don’t return with food,” Ernie said dubiously. “That’s why we’re here.”

“Another thirty minutes won’t kill them,” Samael said dismissively, glancing at Åse and raising nir eyebrows. “Michael’s there.”

With Samael supervising and helping, breakfast was soon ready and plated. Samael also went ahead and made some butterbeer, recalling the ingredients from those DIY recipes when the series had been so popular. It likely wouldn’t be the same given Asgard didn’t have exact matches for the ingredients but it would be close enough.

“I thought you said no butterbeer,” Justin said, though he took the mug when it was offered.

Samael shrugged, sliding down two others for the other two and taking the last for nemself. “I felt sorry for you.”

“…I don’t know if I should say thank you.”

“Don’t,” Neville muttered into his eggs.

Samael muffled a laugh into nir butterbeer. “Take your time.”

It wasn’t until they finished their breakfast and had copious amounts of water that they seemed even remotely ready for the conversation. By this time Samael was on nir second mug of butterbeer.

“You didn’t just come here because you felt sorry for our hangovers,” Neville noted. “Why are you here?”

Samael brushed a finger through the foam of nir butterbeer. “I could have, but you’re right.” Ne licked the foam off nir finger. “I don’t want to ask Michael about this because it would upset him, so I’m asking you. About his parents.”

They’d been wary before, but now they all looked at nem suspiciously. It was marred by how they were still slightly squinty-eyed.

“Why do you want to know?” Justin asked. He still had his head propped up in a hand.

“I can bring them back,” Samael said plainly, “but I won’t if it would hurt him more.”

“Michael couldn’t bring them back,” Ernie said. Unlike Justin and Neville, he was doing his best to appear professional despite how he kept squinting into the light. “He said he couldn’t find them. Why would you be any different?”

So Michael had tried? That was surprising. But perhaps Samael should stop being surprised by him since Michael was so different from the one ne knew before.

“I’m Death,” Samael said simply. “I have a better idea of where they would have gone than he does.”

“How are you Death?” Neville was incredulous. He was also picturing the previous Death, having somehow met him before. “You don’t look at all like him.”

“Wait, when did you meet Death?” Justin demanded, turning towards Neville.

Neville looked a little shifty. “Around.”

“Around? Around? Around when?”

Neville looked down at his drink. “When You-Know-Who died,” he said. “He took care of it.”

Samael very carefully took a drink of butterbeer, watching the three of them.

“You mean the night all of you refuse to tell us about?” Ernie’s voice was dry.

“Yes,” Neville said blandly. “That night.”

Samael wasn’t looking, but it was very difficult to avoid hearing the sound of chewing, as well as the image of a heart being eaten by a mangled mouth. Ah, that was Michael’s work.

“I’m Death,” Samael said, rescuing Neville from having to think any further on that night. Nausea was imminent. “My predecessor passed it on to me. So…deaths fall under my purview – all deaths. So I have the ability to bring them back, but I’d like to know what I’m getting into before I try. Because Michael blames himself for what happened, but I don’t really think it was his fault.”

“It wasn’t,” Justin said immediately.

“What happened?”

They shared uncertain looks.

“If he doesn’t want you to know, I don’t think it’s up to us to share,” Ernie said slowly.

“I didn’t ask him,” Samael admitted. Ne almost had but for that awful, terrible grief. “It would have hurt him more to remember. He was only just able to share what sort of parents they’d been.”

“Is it just morbid curiosity?” Neville asked. “Why do you need to know to be able to bring them back?”

Samael considered nir answer, taking a long drink. Ne wiped a thumb over nir lips, wiping the foam off. “Depending on what happened, they may not want to come back. I won’t force them, but it would help to know the details so I know what I’m looking at.”

The three shared looks again.

“We don’t know the specifics either,” Ernie said eventually, subdued. “Michael never shared, but from what we gathered, it was…bad. You-Know-Who sent Death Eaters after them. His dad…his dad was a Muggle. But his mom… She wasn’t.”

“He blames himself because You-Know-Who knew who he was. He was still alive after what Michael did,” Justin said. “It’s bloody stupid, but he blames himself for it.”

“I can see that.” Samael huffed out a breath, shaking nir head. It was Michael putting the weight of the world on his shoulders, even if it wasn’t solely his burden to bear. Death Eaters… “Which Death Eater?”

“If you’re asking because you want to go after him, he was sentenced to Azkaban,” Justin said. “He was…pretty badly off. I’m not sure what happened there…”

Neville didn’t meet anyone’s eyes, and this time Samael was treated to a full HD, surround-sound image of a blank, emotionless Michael holding a crackling, writhing soul that was screaming.

“I think Michael already did the job there,” Samael said lightly, deliberately not looking at Neville. “Who was it?”

“Carrow,” Justin answered when no one else responded. “Amycus Carrow.”

Samael distinctly remembered asking Michael if Amycus Carrow had been his father. Oh dear.

It put Michael’s utterly aghast expression in a new light.

“Ah. I see.” Samael was briefly disappointed the Dark was dead-dead. How did they just pick the worst vessels to inhabit? “I assume Michael didn’t know what happened until after.”

“We don’t know why,” Justin said. “They knew who he was.”

Samael couldn’t say why either. Maybe for his father, a Muggle, he might not have had time. But his mother…? She probably did have time, given she had magic. Why wouldn’t they have called for help?

“Maybe he can find out,” Samael said.

“You’re getting them back?” Neville asked.

“If they want to.” Samael couldn’t say if they would want to come back. Not everyone who died did. “Don’t tell Michael, as I don’t want to get his hopes up.”

“Why are you even doing this?” Neville stared nem down. “Do you think that by doing this it’ll fix what you did?”

Samael managed a smile. “No. It doesn’t fix anything. But it’s the least of what I can do. Because I can do this – give him something back that he lost. I’m not doing this for anything else beyond the fact that he’s my sibling.”

“That didn’t stop you before.”

Samael’s smile twitched. Ne swallowed, dropping nir gaze. “No. It didn’t.” Ne had been…far too furious at Michael. Blaming him for things out of his control. “I don’t have an excuse for what I did, but that’s a conversation for Michael. And he and I have spoken about this.”

It probably wouldn’t be the last time. Samael still wasn’t sure what to do about the revelation that Michael had just…let nem…do all that. Pain was something even angels shied away from, yet Michael had just…let it happen.

Ne didn’t know if Gabriel knew. It wasn’t something ne felt comfortable telling him at this point, not when ne scarcely knew what to do with it.

“So you’re doing this for him,” Ernie said. “For Michael.”

Samael managed another smile now, and this one came easier. “I think more people should do things just for him, don’t you think? He’s done enough for the rest of us.”

There was no immediate response here, just them studying nem and also glancing at each other. Still, Samael had the impression of having said something they approved of.

“He deserves that,” Justin said. “If that’s what you’re doing…then yes. We’ll keep it quiet for you and hope it works out.”

Samael’s smile widened, more genuine. “I hope so, too.” Ne downed the remainder of the butterbeer, then sent the mug to land neatly in the sink. “It’ll take me a bit. I don’t know how long, but I’ll be out of touch.”

“He won’t go looking for you?” Ernie asked. 

“We’re not in each other’s pockets. We never were. He might notice my absence but probably won’t think anything of it. We’re all adults, technically speaking.” Samael brushed nir hands off. “Thank you. I’ll see you later. Have fun dealing with the hangover.”

Ne didn’t wait for a response, switching between the dimensions for the world of Hogwarts. Death was connected, and so were the afterlives, but it would nonetheless be easier to start in this world.

When Samael stepped through, ne stepped onto a white platform. It was a train station, though the only one way could tell was by the train tracks by the side. There was no ceiling, though pillars stretched up into a white void; there were no walls. The place gave off the impression of a liminal space with no boundaries.

At least it was somewhat familiar – somewhat expected from what Samael knew of this world.

Hands in nir jacket pockets, Samael stepped up to the edge of the platform, waiting for the train that would come.

It didn’t take long. The whistle of a train and the rhythmic chug-chugging of the engine came first before Samael saw a white train emerge from the white nothingness that surrounded this platform. The train didn’t stop, but it did slow, albeit without the hissing of brakes.

In the front of the train, wearing a conductor’s cap, was Billie. She looked very unimpressed with the current state of affairs, one elbow leaning on the window sill while the other took care of driving.

Space slowed, time turning into a crawl. Samael looked up at her. “What are you doing here?”

“Where Death is, so follow nir reapers,” Billie intoned, face impassive. “What are you doing here, Death?”

“You already know.”

“You have no right.”

“I am the only one who has the right.”

“Not even Death can break the rules as ne wishes.”

“No?” Samael raised an eyebrow. “You don’t seem to have kept up to date on the news, Billie.”

“There are rules for a reason, Death.” Billie wasn’t looking at nem but instead the train tracks that stretched on to eternity. “You break them as you wish…chaos ensues. You know how that looks all too well.”

“The former Death and my Father made mistakes, leaving their chaos for us to take care of. Their inaction cost us too much. No one said I was going to break the rules as I wish – I know my own duties too well for that – but following the rules blindly can also lead to chaos. Inflexibility is as gross an injustice as inaction.”

“You are not justice.”

“No,” Samael said softly, “I am death. I am life. I am the nothing. I am the End. I am the beginning and the end of the line. And there is something I can do here – a postponing of a death that happened too soon.”

“That is not your call to make. Death follows its path; everyone has their time.”

Samael straightened nir jacket sleeves, fiddling with the little zipper at nir wrist. Ne didn’t look away from Billie. “Is that your professional opinion as a reaper, Billie?”

“You asked me to help guide you,” Billie said, the slightest hint of wariness entering her tone. “You asked for a second-in-command. Are you rescinding that?”

Samael shrugged, tucking nir hands back in nir pockets. “No. Call me on my bullshit however and whenever you please; I won’t hurt you for that. I’ll take your advice under consideration, but I won’t always listen. Have you ever carried the scythe before?”

“No.”

“Then don’t presume to tell me what is and isn’t my call to make. Not when I feel the pulse of every death in existence – every life that has passed and is about to pass and will pass. Not when I know exactly what boundaries there are and what shouldn’t be crossed. And this? This is no hard boundary. This is a choice I will be offering. A choice I will not offer nearly as much as you’re worrying about.”

“This is a very slippery slope you’re traversing, Samael.”

Samael’s answering smile was cool. “Didn’t you know, Reaper Billie? My existence has been about the slippery slope.”

Billie gave nem a long look, eyes narrowed. “The ego of you angels.”

Samael shrugged. It was true enough. Death had said it frequently. “And yet this was given to me. Consider what that means.”

Billie’s mouth twisted into a grimace. She looked away, back to the train tracks stretching into eternity. “Fine. You and I both know I can’t stop you.” The train whistle screamed, and the brakes hissed as the locomotive slowed, a door opening. “Do as you wish.”

Samael didn’t thank her, grabbing hold of the handholds outside the door and stepping into the moving train. The door slid shut behind nem, and the eerie whiteness of the platform faded.

Billie wasn’t happy with nem, but they had eternity together for Samael to try to form a better working relationship. But this…this was too important for simple rules.

Samael turned to the right, walking through the carriages. It wasn’t like the subway cars of New York City of old. It resembled a train from Europe, which made some sense. There were tables set up on both sides and four seats to a table. The train wasn’t empty, numerous other souls filling the seats.

But they had no features. They were beings of light, composed of numerous lifetimes of memories.

There was nothing to be seen outside the windows beyond shapeless white, but somehow the train still had shadows flickering across the floor and the souls, like there were things outside blocking the light source. The shadows flickered between trees, mountains, buildings… All vague and nebulous.

Perhaps it was for familiarity’s sake for these souls.

Not all the seats were taken. Some had four and some had three. Some had two. Some only had one. They were all silent, watchful, though they didn’t seem alarmed at Samael’s presence.

Samael continued walking down the narrow path through the carriages. Ne didn’t know Eleanor and Alan Hopkins. Ne had never met them, never seen how Michael saw them. Ne only had their names to go off of, but if they were Michael’s human parents… It was likely something of Michael would still cling to them even now.

There was no end to the train. No end to the rhythmic rumbling beneath nir feet. No end or change to the surroundings outside. There were just the shifting shadows inside, as well as the different souls in each carriage.

It was okay. Samael had time. There was no rush.

Eventually, sixty carriages later, something familiar pricked at nir senses. Something warm, like a crackling fireplace on a cold winter’s evening. It wasn’t anywhere near as hot as Michael could run, but it was still him. A sense of him.

There were two souls at the table in the middle of the carriage. They sat next to each other, facing empty seats on the other side of the table.

Samael slowed to a stop next to them, studying them curiously.

Like all the other souls ne had seen thus far, these two were a compilation of numerous lifetimes. There were no names attached to them, just a wealth of experiences and Michael’s energy.

Samael slid into one of the seats in front of them, sliding towards the window and leaning back against it, legs spread out along the length of the bench, which obligingly lost its arm rests. Folding nir arms over nir chest, ne waited, continuing to study them closely.

Finally, there was acknowledgement from one of them. A question asked, an inquiry about what ne wanted.

Samael smiled. “I’d like your names.”

Okay, ne cheated a little here. Nudged a tiny bit, pulling slightly on what was there of Michael’s energy to help the souls remember their most recent lifetime.

It was the one closest to the window who started changing first, the nondescript light of the soul shifting into something more distinct. The light faded, pulling inwards, revealing tan skin and laugh lines around light-colored eyes. Her dark hair was in a braid with only a few gray hair speckled throughout. “My name is Eleanor.”

The other soul changed second, a little more hesitantly. Soon, a dark-skinned man with wire-framed glasses sat next to Eleanor. His eyes were dark, kind, and similarly framed with laugh lines. “Alan.”

Some minute tension Samael hadn’t noticed before left nem. Ne hadn’t thought ne’d gotten it wrong, but there was always the chance… At least now ne could be sure. “My name’s Samael.”

“Samael,” Eleanor repeated, watching nem with open curiosity. “How can we help you?”

“Well, I hope you can.” Samael smiled again, looking at both of them. “You…may be familiar with my brother? Michael? Or…Wayne?”

There was instant recognition on both their faces even before Samael gave the name of Michael’s human alias. Recognition and love. It slammed into Samael with the force of light speed. 

“You’re—” Eleanor covered her mouth with a hand, her other going to grab hold of Alan’s tightly. “Do you know? Is he okay? Is he doing well?”

Samael’s smile brightened into a grin. “He’s doing well, Eleanor.”

Eleanor’s eyes closed in visible relief, her breath escaping with a loud sigh. Alan laid his hand over hers, squeezing it reassuringly. He seemed relieved as well, a quiet sort of relief that was nonetheless still intense.

“What are you doing here?” Alan asked.

Samael shrugged. “I’m here for you. To give you two a choice.”

“A choice?” Eleanor sounded hesitant.

“Yes.” Samael shifted, sitting upright and folding nir hands on the table, leaning forward. “Come back with me.”

Eleanor and Alan exchanged glances, confusion and worry most prominent on their faces.

“We’re dead,” Eleanor said, looking back at Samael.

“Yes,” Samael agreed bluntly, “but you don’t have to stay dead.”

Eleanor inhaled sharply even as Alan shook his head slightly, brow furrowed. They didn’t seem to understand.

“I don’t know what Michael shared with you about what we can do, but resurrecting the dead… It’s entirely possible. So I’m here. Giving you the choice.”

“He…didn’t tell us much,” Alan said after a moment. “I think he was worried how we would respond.”

That sounded very much like Michael. Especially the one Samael knew now. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

“It was our time,” Eleanor said, squeezing Alan’s hand. “Our time to go. I know you’re…an angel?”

“An archangel,” Samael said, “second oldest to Michael.”

Shadows flickered over Eleanor’s face, the odd light changing as the train continued moving. “I…don’t recall seeing your name.”

Samael shrugged, fiddling with the end of nir jacket. “The Bible doesn’t have a lot of us. It names a few – Michael being one. I was in there as well.” Ne didn’t wish to mention Lucifer yet. The goal was to get them back, not scare them off. “I am an archangel, and I do have the ability to reverse death.”

“It was our time,” Eleanor repeated.

“…You died because Michael interfered,” Samael said gently. “Without his presence, you two would have continued living.”

“It wasn’t his fault,” Eleanor said sharply, a surge of protectiveness rising.

“I didn’t say it was. But the fact remains that if he hadn’t acted as he did, you two would never have come into the picture for Voldemort.”

There was a slight flinch from Eleanor at the name, one not mirrored by Alan. He gave her a concerned look, squeezing her hand. 

“If you have to look for a loophole, then you know this isn’t right,” Eleanor said.

“No loophole. Just the hard facts. The only reason Michael didn’t do it himself is because he didn’t know where you two went. You can’t retrieve souls without knowing where the souls are.”

“How did you know?” Eleanor asked.

Samael smiled. “I’m Death.”

Ne wasn’t sure what they saw of nir other aspect, the new power that now resided in nir Grace, but something must have shown, for they both flinched backwards.

“Yama,” Eleanor breathed, a hand at her chest.

It wasn’t a name Samael was familiar with. Hesitating, ne reached out to glean what Eleanor meant by that. They were Hindu? Their Father must have had one hell of a sense of humor to put Michael in a family that believed in pagans. “Ah. No. I’m no god.”

“You said—”

“I’m Death. Not the god of death, but death itself. Death is my domain; all souls that die fall under my purview. So I have that final say on what happens to souls.”

“You said it was our choice,” Alan pointed out, watching Samael warily.

“It is. I won’t take you if you have no desire to go back. But you have the option.”

Eleanor shared glances with Alan once more.

“I don’t regret it,” Eleanor said eventually, turning to meet Samael’s eyes once more. “It wasn’t his fault what happened. He did what was right. What happened afterwards…it was our time. If not then, at some other point in the future. Wayne – Michael will do well without us. He’ll move on.”

Samael could leave it at that – not influence their choices. It was a choice. It was a perfectly fine choice.

Except…ne felt fingers run through nir hair, a warm Grace blanketing nem and trying to reassure nem despite the pain tearing nir Grace apart. The grief that suddenly appeared and then disappeared without warning.

“A med-witch… Was she…where you learned to do that?”

 “When I was still human…yes. She was a good teacher. They both were.”

The grief of loss that never really went away no matter how much time passed. Seeing Gabriel through the years, how he would put on a mask and yes, he had been happy, but it hadn’t been happiness, that grief of loss remaining millions of years later.

And that had just been his friends.

From everything Samael had heard, Michael’s parents had been good. And here, just in this small conversation,  Samael could see that. Could see how much they loved Michael, how much they would do for him. That Eleanor had fought to the death to protect someone who didn’t need that protection.

Samael knew how that felt. Knew what it was like to be so cherished and valued that someone would go to incredible lengths to make sure ne was safe. And it had been by the only real father ne had known.

Gabriel would never know. He had found it awkward enough to be put into that position when Samael had just been Sam, an AI. 

But Samael could never forget.

“Why would you do that after - after everything I did? Everything that – that other me did?”

“…Because I wanted to. Because I could. Because you’re family.”

“You don’t—”

“Regret it? No. Never. I’d do it again if I needed to.”

Ne had always, always known Gabriel would be there for nem. Even after the nightmares. Even after ne found out who ne was. Even after regaining nir Grace and the struggle of rebuilding a relationship that Samael had shattered.

Gabriel had been there.

That security of knowing – that was what was so important.

And Samael cheated again, because Michael was nir sibling and he deserved something. And this was something Samael could fix. “You’re right,” ne agreed. “He’ll be fine. He can take care of himself. But he will never stop grieving you. Or blaming himself for his role in what happened. You should have had long lives, but they ended much sooner because of what he did. Not,” ne said quickly, putting up a hand to forestall the indignant protests, “because it was actually his fault, but because he believes it was. You’re gone because of his interference.”

“He – he’ll move on,” Eleanor managed, voice strangled. “We’re just—”

“Human?” Samael smiled sadly. “You were never just human to him. You were his. Time will pass, but he won’t forget, and he won’t stop grieving. It’s not in our nature.”

Gabriel had never stopped grieving. As Tony, he had it a little easier, able to soften the intensity of an archangel’s grief, but he was still too angelic for that to truly work. They were just two sides of the same coin.

“We all die,” Alan pointed out slowly. “Now or later…there’s no difference.”

“The difference is time. It can make all the difference.” Samael hoped. It hadn’t helped Gabriel much, not with the anvil of his friends disappearing over his head. But maybe Michael was cut from a different cloth.

Eleanor and Alan said nothing, both of them looking at each other and seeming to have a silent conversation that spoke of years together.

Samael gave them a little bit, before nudging once more. “Would you let Michael continue to believe he’s at fault for your deaths?”

Eleanor looked stricken, shaking her head. She pressed a hand to her eyes. Alan frowned, swapping the hand he had over Eleanor’s to pull her into his side.

“This is your choice,” Samael said again. “I’ll let you think it over a little more. I’ll be at the front of the carriage.”

Samael stood, sliding out from behind the table to make nir way to the front and the empty table ne had seen earlier in this carriage. It was still empty. Ne sat down, then laid down on the seats; the armrests once more decided it would be better for them to go elsewhere.

The ceiling of the carriage looked remarkably normal, shadows flitting over it. The seats below Samael rumbled with the slow and steady chug-chug of the train’s engine and the wheels over the train tracks. 

Ne felt for that scar in nir Grace, that wound where Michael’s sword had almost killed nem. It throbbed slightly, an ache that had yet to fade.

There was no such thing as time in this realm, but Samael’s extremely accurate internal clock stated it had been thirty minutes and forty-five seconds by the time ne was approached by Eleanor and Alan.

Ne propped nemself up on nir elbows, hit nir shoulder on the table, winced, and then managed to wiggle back into a upright sitting position. Hopefully without looking too stupid.

Judging from the restrained smiles on both of their faces, that was a failure.

Samael did not rub at nir shoulder. “So, uh…made a decision?”

“Yes,” Eleanor said. “Take us back.”

Their souls were warm against nir Grace. Samael made sure nir grip was gentle, harmless. Billie didn’t stop the train again, but Samael didn’t need her to. Ne opened the door of the moving train and stepped out onto a platform.

The train chugged away, disappearing into the whiteness. Ne tugged nir jacket closer, around the two souls nestled close to nem, and stepped back into the world of the living.

There were a few ways one could revive the dead. One was with their actual bodies, rejuvenating them and putting them back in working order. That was the easiest, since healing what was destroyed was always easier than making something from scratch.

Eleanor and Alan guided nem to their hometown, which was easily enough found. It was a small village on the cusp of being a town in the English countryside. It was quiet and peaceful, so Samael could certainly picture how much of a shock a double-murder must have been.

The cemetery was on the outskirts. It wasn’t very large, which made sense. There was an older one more in the inside of the village by the church, but this one was newer.

It was also here that Samael ran into a snag, because Eleanor and Alan had been cremated. Naturally. Given their culture and religion. They did have two tombstones, but Samael didn’t need to dig down to know they had urns and not caskets.

The tombstones seemed a little impersonal, not at all like Michael had a hand in them himself. But he had cremated them. Personally. His Grace still shrouded their urns.

There was worry from Eleanor and Alan at this, their souls more aware of such matters than they would have been if they were alive.

Samael could try for their ashes, but that seemed a little crass. And ne would have to get past Michael’s Grace to do so.

So option two it was. Ne would have to rebuild their bodies from scratch.

Or maybe mud…? Ne could be traditional about it but skip taking Alan’s rib to make Eleanor.

Ne chose an isolated spot in the middle of the moors for this. There was plenty of earth to use here, to ground them to life.

Samael recalled the physical appearances they’d used on the train. Ne could recreate that easily enough, though the smaller details would be missed because ne had no idea about Alan’s eyesight that led to him wearing glasses. He probably wouldn’t mind having perfect vision…

When asked, Alan just requested his frames, which Samael could do without any issue.

In the end, Samael only used a little bit of earth, a reminder for their souls where they came from. Air went into their lungs, as a way for them to breathe. Water was also used for the composition, since human bodies needed so much of it. 

Ne recreated their clothing based off what they’d been wearing in the train.

Once done, Samael slowly and carefully took their souls and placed them in their new bodies, pressing nir palms to their foreheads and easing the transition. It took several minutes for them to settle, transitioning from an ethereal state of being to something more physical.

Samael watched them closely. It was a little trickier with new bodies instead of their old ones, and this was too important to mess up.

Eleanor was the first who opened her eyes, blinking rapidly and squinting into the light. She caught sight of Samael a moment later, eyes widening.

Samael smiled at her. “Welcome back.”

Eleanor looked over at Alan, who had his eyes screwed tight against the sunlight. She reached out to touch his arm, a little clumsy. “Alan…”

It was a moment before Alan opened his eyes, turning his head towards her. He stared, not speaking.

Eleanor laughed, the sound breaking slightly. “Alan…we’re here.”

Alan reached out to touch her cheek, clumsy and shaky. He didn’t say anything, just touching her.

It felt unbearably intimate, like something Samael shouldn’t be privy to. Ne quickly whisked nemself away, giving them privacy but also still keeping them in eyesight so they knew where ne was. 

Ne sprawled out on the ground, looking up at the sky.

Earth was nice. No other planet compared to it. Though, to be fair, no planets compared to each other either. They were all unique, different.

It was just that Earth was nostalgic. So much about what had happened revolved around it. At least now ne had positive memories and not just…

The sky was pink and orange by the time Eleanor and Alan made their way to nem. Samael sat up as they approached, looping an arm around a knee and watching them.

They carefully sat down by nem, Alan steadying Eleanor. 

“Thank you,” Eleanor told nem. 

“You’re welcome,” Samael said, smiling warmly at them. “It’s not a favor. I didn’t do this to make you owe me anything. This is for Michael. For the boy you call your son.”

“Your name is Samael?” Alan asked.

“I’m his younger sibling,” Samael said. “Though he’s the oldest, so we’re all younger compared to him. But I’m the second oldest.”

“I didn’t see your name in the Bible,” Eleanor said slowly.

Samael’s smile faded. “It was there. But I have more than one.”

Eleanor hesitated. “Which one was it?”

Samael held her gaze for a long moment. “You would have known me as Lucifer.”

Alan stiffened, drawing in a sharp breath. His grip on Eleanor’s hand tightened. Eleanor’s grip tightened in response, the skin at her knuckles whitening.

“Lucifer?” Alan’s voice was quiet.

“At one time.”

“You and Michael were enemies,” Eleanor said, nervous.

“Yeah.” Samael shifted, folding nir legs. “At one time. We’re not anymore. For my part…not for a long time. It’s been less time for Michael.”

“He was supposed to throw you down,” Eleanor whispered. “The serpent.”

Samael winced, folding nir hands together. “…He did. A long time ago. The book of revelations, if you read it…it never came to pass. Or perhaps it did, a version of it.” Gabriel had blown his horn for Lucifer, all those years ago. “But Gabriel dealt with it then.”

“The Messenger?”

Samael hummed in answer. “The youngest of us four. The best of us.” Even if Gabriel would disagree.

Eleanor laid her other hand over Alan’s. “You really didn’t bring us back with any ulterior motives.”

“No.” Samael gave them a smile, as reassuring as ne could make it. “I brought you back because of Michael.”

“Where is he?” Alan asked.

“He isn’t here.” Samael looked out at the moor around them, the vast expanse of brown and green and the pink-and-orange sky. “This is your world, the one where you and he were born. This was the easiest place to bring you back because you were familiar with this. Michael is where I’m from. I can bring you back there.”

“Could you bring him here?”

“Theoretically,” Samael said slowly. “But he doesn’t know I did this. I didn’t want him disappointed if you two decided not to come.”

“You would have respected that,” Eleanor said, wondering.

“I usually did,” Samael admitted quietly. “Lying…was never one of my vices. I know humans said I did – that I lied. But the truth hurts more than lies ever do, and it was a weapon I wielded to achieve my goals.” Ne looked down at nir hands, smaller and gentler than the ones of Nick ne had inhabited so long ago, or even that of Sam Winchester. “Those are goals I no longer hold.”

Eleanor and Alan exchanged glances. Their expressions were difficult to read, though Samael made no effort to, keeping nir eyes turned away from them.

“We believe you,” Eleanor said after a moment. “You’ve given us no reason not to trust you.”

Samael looked at her sidelong. “There are many who would say otherwise. Still…I appreciate your trust.” Ne extended both hands to them. “Would you come with me? To Michael?”

Eleanor and Alan didn’t let go of each other’s hands, but they had two hands, and it was with their free ones that they clasped hold of Samael’s in a silent answer.

Samael exhaled slowly, smiled at them, and linked their fingers together.

Michael was probably going to be happy. At least his human parents could deal with that awful grief-guilt.

[a-libra-writes]

Can you do a romantic headcanon for Victor please from Lackadaisy

Yeeeesssss. This is sort of paired with my earlier married life HCs? This is mostly the non-married stuff (as in yall meeting way later), so sorry for the long preamble! Reader is intended to be femme.

So, the relationship is quite different depending if you were with him when he was younger, or you two got involved during the later Lackadaisy years. If it's the latter, there's ... a lot more guilt and troubled thoughts involved.

For the former - when he was much younger, Viktor was shy, but he made his intentions clear. It would've been more old-fashioned courting, especially if you both met in the old country. He smiled a lot more back then, moreso if you were around.

Attempting to start something when he's years into working for Atlas is .... tricky. Even when it's clear you two have a mutual attraction, and a steady friendship, there's a barrier between you. You don't learn until much later what that barrier is, and why there's so much guilt and sadness in his interactions toward you.

It's the kneecapping that gets you both closer, not that either of you realize it at first. You were always at the Lackadaisy, and even after the ... mess, you didn't intend to leave. Neither did he, and though you wished Viktor would get out of this life, for a long time you'd assumed he had nowhere else to go. It's around this time that you finally learn about the estranged wife, and the daughter whose letters weren't opened. It makes the shame and guilt in his interactions with you make far, far more sense.

So even if nothing may come of it, you stay at his side and with the Lackadaisy, like you always have. You give him quiet company without any strings, sometimes bringing meals (okay, often, because he doesn't cook for himself enough), help him fetch things when his knees make it impossible. Your company is a great, great comfort - even if he never says that, you can tell. Some more observant folks might be able to, as well - the big grumpy man is clearly calmer and more at ease when you're in the room. Yes, this is why Rocky consults you before asking anything of Viktor. Hell, even Mitzi brings things up concerning him with you first.

Ivy is arguably the biggest and loudest supporter of you both, though she doesn't always notice how uncomfortable it makes Viktor, so you have to try to dial down her enthusiasm. She refers to you both as a package deal to others, furthering the assumption to others that you're a couple. And unbeknownst to you, Viktor has brought you up to Elsa, even before Atlas' death and when everything went to hell ... She listened to him without judgement, as she always does, silently hoping he'd stop torturing himself over it and that you were a good person. She wants very much for you to be a good person for her friend.

Well, all the hang-ups aside... once it does eventually happen, and that line has crossed, there's really no going back on it.

Viktor's gone a long time feelings he's undeserving of both receiving and giving affection. He's so used to violence, and accepting the consequences of choosing that life. So, it'll be small-going at first. You'll sit next to him and take his big arm in your's, rest your head against him - and he may lean into it, or stay still. He'll accept quick kisses on the forehead and cheek, especially if you hold his face, but sometimes too much makes him bristle. You will have to be very, very patient.

Eventually he'll put an arm around you when you sit next to time, especially when you're both in the privacy of a warm home. He's extra comfortable and warm to snuggle against! Viktor may grumble a little when you curl up, but he never pushes you away. If anything he'll grab a blanket, since you seem so cold. Many times you two have dozed off like this.

When you're wanting a hug, it's hard for Viktor to deny you, though he feels he's no good at providing comfort. He's better than he thinks, though! You're engulfed in warmth and you feel very protected. You can feel his heart skipping when you rest your cheek against his chest. Viktor isn't sure how long to stay, so he keeps still until you get your fill. If you're actually tall enough, he'll rest his chin on top of your head and try to allow himself to enjoy your embrace.

(On the note of PDA - he isn't inclined to it at all, being a more private man, but if you're already sitting beside him and have your arm in his, he won't pull away. He'll just growl at anyone who dares comment on it.)

It's probably only you, Elsa and Ivy who see Viktor's gentler side, and you're seeing the most of it. He'll hand you his big coat when it's rainy and cold outside (and be nothing short of shocked when you return it washed and smelling floral), he holds you carefully, he speaks much less roughly. Arguably the softest thing you two do is late in the evening, when you're cuddled up on his lap instead of on his side, and playing with his hand while you chat with him. He talks so low you can hear his voice rumbling in his chest, his accent somehow thicker yet easier to understand.

Literally no one else will ever see that side of him so enjoy it and soak it up!!

This is also the time you can finally get him to teach you some Slovak, whereas he's usually brushing you off and saying there's no point. Your accent isn't perfect but that's okay, he finds it endearing. He might actually mess with you and teach wrong words or phases, just so you can figure it out later.

Oh, and in addition to the decent food you make him eat - more than once you've made or bought some good clothes for him, because you know Viktor won't spend anything on himself. Whether it be a scarf or a pair of gloves or a jacket, he wears it often. He'll wear it until it's in tatters, actually. He isn't much for household decorations (any plants will probably end up dead...) but small touches you add around his home will give him some little feelings of sentiment when he looks at them.

(Co-habitation is pretty much out of the picture if you two aren't married, even spending the night at the other's house is .... another one of those lines.)

Doing "normal" couple things with you gives him both a sense of ease and normalcy, though there's always the guilt that will be nagging in the back. In the daytime he might accompany you on some errands, leading to the sight of a huge scary cat looming over a smaller and more easy-going one. ("Excuse me, he asked for no pickles.")

He might grumble about having to carry things, but he really doesn't mind these errands. If anything, it's good for him to get out of the bar and his apartment. He's still just as protective, though... god forbid someone looks at you too long, or someone tries to talk down to you. They'd have to be stupid to try anything when he's glowering with his one eye.

You thought his overprotectiveness was just the result of rowdy customers and drunk men during Lackadaisy's heyday, but no, it still persists. It's nice to have someone who will literally throw someone that's harassing you, buuut sometimes Viktor gets too ... enthusiastic, or makes hasty decisions. There's a few stores you aren't allowed back in because he decided to threaten and/or bodily harm a man who was getting too chummy.

Overall, it can be ... a slow and trying relationship, but if you're patient and someone who also wants a steady comfort, and you already value your friendship with him - well, Viktor is a much better man than he thinks he is.

[pastafossa]

The last day of 2023.

And holy shit has it been a chaotic ride, one which you all shared with me, or that's what it feels like!

The Major Moments:

Feb: Cato's cancer diagnosis and discovery of weird mutated cells that likely won't be explained until after he passes away. He's still with me, fortunately! No idea how much time he has left but I'm grateful for every second

April: a small leak in my dining room ceiling turned into a bigger leak which turned into a massive hole in the ceiling, at least it wasn't winter???

May: DD Born Again Photos give us all a goddamn heart attack

May: I FUCKING REACH MY OVERALL 1,000,000 WORD COUNT ON AO3. 🎊 🎉 🎊 Next stop is 1mill for TRT!

June: Went to my first con since Covid! Drove all the way down to Philly to see Charlie Cox, WHICH WAS FUCKING AMAZING, HE HELD THE RED THREAD FOR OUR PHOTO, MY FANFIC DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE, AND I TOLD HIM WHAT DD MEANS TO ME AND HE WAS SO NICE I COULD CRY

June: At that same con, I finally FINALLY got to meet my bff @wonderlandmind4 in person after many many many late nights of chatting, and we just CLICKED like we'd been friends for years, which I should have expected, but still! And then I got to meet a bunch of my readers, too! Best con experience EVER

July: enter Whoops Covid Finally Got Me After 3 Years But Charlie Was Worth It ™

July: Finally dusted off my draft of Pasta's First Dark Fic cause even if my brain was too fuzzy to write, I figured I could edit a bit. And I did! And was pretty happy with the results!

August: Shit Now There's A Long Covid Heart Issue And I Can't Be Seen Until Late November Thanks Covid ®

August: leak in the garage leads to me losing about 65% of all the beautiful, special woods pieces I'd gathered over the course of six years for carving. Within a week I am gifted a huge bin of wood from a kind soul at my local witchy shop

Sept: TRT's 6th anniversary!

Nov: I was slowly getting back into the swing of things, doing a bit of writing in between learning to manage whatever was going on with my heart (which we'll hopefully figure out in January when I get all the results of testing in Jan)

Early Dec, and the worst week of my life: mom got sick. Within one day she went from not feeling good to needing an ambulance. By the next day, she was in the ICU - flu induced double pneumonia that was interfering with her breathing and heart issues. And with one more day, she was put into an induced coma and ventilated, without any of us sure if she'd pull through. They told us she'd likely be under for two weeks, potentially longer even if she made it. The amount of messages and supportive comments I got from all of you, the talks I had with @wonderlandmind4 and @shouldbestudying41, just the general sense of having a community to help me means more than I can ever say as you all helped me through that terrible, horrible moment, even if it was just gently messaging me to remind me to try to eat.

Mid Dec: against ALL odds, Mom was off the ventilator in a week. By week 2, she was out of the ICU. By week 3? Off to the physical rehab center. She was there a grand total of 1 week before she was allowed to come home to finish her recovery. Early December was the worst moment of my life, and yet it was also bookended by the best Christmas of my life even if it was spent at the rehab center, because I got to have my mama back, and hug her and tell her I loved her and make jokes, and now she's home and we've been watching Christmas movies and eating grilled cheeses, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what the holiday is to me: not presents and snow and lights, but this moment, this time with her. 'In all the places you find love, it feels like Christmas.'

In just a few hours for me, it'll be 2024. I have no idea what to expect going forward, or even what to plan for, much less a resolution. I know I want to get back to TRT when mom's a bit better (she still needs a lot of help, understandably). I know there are wood carvings I want make; friends I want to visit; witchy events at my local shop I want to go to. But other than that... who knows? If I'm lucky, things will be calmer than this past year. But even if they aren't, at least I know I have dear friends, all of you, and my family, including Pasta Mama, to help me through it.

Goodbye, 2023. Hello, 2024.

[rowretro]

✧𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍✧

WARNINGS: nothing i know of

✧taglist✧: @heeseung-min @jaeneohee @lovingvoidgoatee @neruishoon (anyone I may have missed)

✧CHAPTER 8✧

It's been a week since the girl had found out she's pregnant. She was currently visiting back home, Sunghoon accompanying her. "Y/n look- its the barbie doll I completely damaged" Heeseung snickered "Yeah im surprised you aren't a serial killer" y/n mumbled. Heeseung rolled his eyes as he started talking about how he was the creator of weird barbie and that Kate McKinnon played the role of a character he created when he was an 8 year old who bullied his babysis.

"Awww it's pinky bear!" y/n squealed as she pulled her pink teddy bear out, the two felt nostalgic as they went through the old toy boxes in their attic. Y/n smiled rocking the teddy bear gently as if it were a baby which really weirded Heeseung out. The girl was seen carrying the bear everywhere. "Y/n can you make me a cup of tea sweety?" Her mum asked as the girl smiled.

She set the teddy down, and turned the kettle on, somehow, as she tried to reach for the tea bags, she accidentally turned the stove on, where the pink teddy was "NO! PINKY BEAR-!" she yelled as she picked up the bear, crying to herself, Heeseung blinked at her then walked away.

The girl handed her mother the cup of tea, as she took a seat beside Sunghoon, "You take anything from the attic you need sweety?" the woman asked as y/n smiled "Yeah my pinky- Pin- PINKY- oh no..." she ran to the kitchen and looked in the freezer "Oh no" she whimpered. "Oh honey it's ok, she's still ok you can take it home n put it in the washing machine" her mom reassured.

Pouting, y/n took a seat on the floor, fiddling with pinky, as her mom slipped beside her. Sunghoon was upstairs gaming with Heeseung. "God it feels like it's been forever- when was the last time I got to see my baby girl home?" her mother asked smiling as y/n smiled back. "Mom... did you ever regret having me?... I mean you had hee when you were 18 didn't we ruin Uni for you?" y/n asked as her mom sighed.

"Oh honey... well at first yes I was upset about being so irresponsible, but... When I saw your little faces, and the way you depended on me... I was willing to give up everything and anything for you 2..." the woman said as y/n smiled, staring down at the pink teddy bear. Maybe she should tell Sunghoon... even if he doesn't want them, it'll be best she know soon before it's too late. "Come on baby, home time~" Sunghoon sang as y/n kissed her mother and hugged her brother goodbye.

Y/n sat in the car, staring at her damaged teddy as she pouted. Seeing the teddy all damaged really hit her. There's a real baby inside her... She's going to be a real mom. Sunghoon got in the car, noticing her little pout "What is it baby?... is it the teddy? don't worry ill fix it for you hmm?" the man said as y/n turned to him, teary eyed. "Sunghoon... I haven't told anyone yet but... Im 1 month pregnant..." the girl said as the man stared in shock.

"A-Are you mad at me?..." you asked, scared as Sunghoon just hugged you tightly "Fuck baby... im fucking happy. There's a little us growing in there..." he smiled, his hand on your womb. He was actually happy. That genuine smile on his face said enough. "I-Im scared... t-this whole time I was trying to practice being a mommy with pinky... but pinky is all wounded because of me..." y/n sniffled "Oh baby... its just a teddy, trust me when I say this, once you see the look on our angel's face, your mommy instincts will kick in okay?... and I will be here for you, I'll always be by your side" he reassured, pulling you into a kiss.

✧𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍✧

[redheadspark]

Hi! I just wanted to say that I really like the way you write :)) May I request spring cottage with oliver wood please 🍀💗

A/N - YES! I love this one for Oliver, it very cute! Thanks for requesting this, anon!

Fulfilled

Summary - Oliver promises you a home rigt after the Second Wizard War, and he intends to keep it

Warnings - Only fluff for Oliver :)

"Come on, Oli. Where are we going?"

"Can't tell ya, luv. It'll ruin my surprise."

You held his hand and followed him up a small trail through the grassy field, right outside Ottery St Catchpole. You've been in that town ebfore plenty of times, mostly to visit the magical families that lived there: The Lovegoods, The Diggorys and The Weasleys. Ever since the Second Wiazrd War, you and Oliver would visit constantly to not just kepe your friendhsip alive, but to check up on them. The war took a toll on everyone, and lives were loss in the process.

You and Oliver survived together, a miracle in itself.

You both got married right after the war, thinking there was no time like the present to be together since you both nearly died that night at Hogwarts when you went to fight. Death was already all around you for hours in end, and that night felt too long and dreadful for you to endure alone. Oliver felt it too, and after you both finally made it home to Hogsmeads, or whatever was left of your little flat above Zonko's Shop, you both shared a shower to wash away the blood and pain that was cake along your skin and within your bones.

"Marry me," Oliver pleaded against your lips as you two kissed under the showerhead that was splattering you with water, you both clinging onto each other with hopes of never letting the other go ever again.

"You know I will," You replied back as he then kissed him deeply, letting the wat run cold along your skin.

It's been three years of marriage and building your new life together, and those three years have been nothing but bliss and growth for both Oliver and yourself.

"Come on, Oliver! Why are we back in this neighborhood?" You had, knowing fully well Oliver was not going to tell you instantly and your patience was going to be thinned very soon.

"Ah, here we are!"

Down a hill, nestled near a small riverbed that would lead back to the muggle town where you and Olvier apparated, there was a small little cottage that was perched in front of some tall birch trees and with a field of wildflowers along the front near the dusty path. It was very small, just one front door was seen and two windows in the front on the first floor and one on the second floor, a stone chimney was poking out from the sides with vines along the corner of the cottage, slinging to the walls as it descending into the earth.

"Do ya like it?" Oliver asked you as he was standing a bit behind you, waiting for your answer as you were scanning the small but cute house.

"The cottage? It's lovely, Oli. But I don't understand....does someone live here?" You asked turning around at him and seeing him give you a knowing look. You knew that look very well, dating Oliver Wood for several years and flying with him on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team gave you enough time to read his mannerisms and facial expressions. So you knew when he was angry, contemplating, or simply having an idea, from just a simple look. This was one of those times.

"Aye, someone does," he replied, taking in a long breath. It looked like he was trying to psych himself up for the next thing he was about to tell you. What he did say though, shocked you:

"We do,"

You thought you heard him wrong, maybe your mind was playing tricks on you and making you think you heard something completely different from him. Yet those two words, so short and meaningless, shook your core as your eyes went wide and your stance was stiff as aboard.

"Oliver?" You asked his name, blinking a few times. Oliver simply reached into his jacket pocket, taking out an envelope that seemed thick and well-used as he held it in both of his hands.

"Do you remember the promise I made ya? Back when we were plannin' our wedding" He asked, you slowly nodding your head as he took a few steps over you, "I told ya I would get us a home to live in, to grow old in, and to maybe in the future...when we're both ready....raise our kids in. I intended to make sure I followed through with my promise, luv."

"You....you got us this house?" You asked in a gasp, Oliver clearing his throat as he handed you the envelope. You took out the paperwork rapidly, reading over to see it was a deed to the home and all the signatures were there in place, apart from yours next to Oliver's that was already inked on the paper.

"It's not final until ya signed it, since I want us to be equal in this decision and all," He explained as he was watching your eyes dart back and forth while you were reading the fine print, "Look, it's a bit of a fiver upper. But the Weasleys and Lovegoods volunteered coming to help us on the weekends, Luna Lovegood wants us to put in a garden for the rabbits since apparently, they're amazin' pets. My Da wants to help too, but if you don't wanna do it then we don't have--"

You silenced him with a deep and enduring kiss, letting the deed fall to the grassy floor as Oliver wrapped his arms around you.

Oliver did a lot of crazy things in the past, before and after you got together. He was reckless at times and his choices would sometimes have you scratch your head. However, his heart was always in the right place. You loved his heart, how it was molding around yours in no time and was never willing to release you. When he fought for something, he fought hard. When he cried, he wept.

Most importantly, when he loved you, he loved you with all of him.

You pulled away from the kiss and stared at him directly into his brown eyes which were in shock from the kiss you planted on his lips.

"I never thought I could love you any more than I do now," You said with a gasp, seeing his smile come back on his face, "This might be the most reckless decision you have ever met since we got married, but it's the most romantic too."

"Now I know where the bar has been raised, eh?" he asked in a coy tone, you laughing as he held you close and kissed your cheeks.

"Of course, and you have fulfilled your promise and more," You reassure him in his ear while you two hug in front of your new home

One month later, long days of construction and repairs later, you both stepped foot into your new home holding hands and a bright future promise. The first thing you did was invited your new neighbors and old friends for a large dinner together. It was a great night filled with laughs and shared memories, tender moments of remembering and recognizing those you lost, and hopes for the future that was yet to come.

When Weasleys, Lovegoods, and Diggorys all left for the night, you and Oliver turned in and curled up together in your bed at your new cottage, letting the window stay open to hear the frogs croak through the night and have your dreams be filled with wonder and happiness.

The End.

Tagged - @a-lumos-in-the-nox

[translucent-at-best]

Scatter-brained...

I told myself I'd start back on dating apps on April 13th. I've also told three friends. I'm like... 50% ready and 50% regretting mentioning it to them because I know they'll hold me accountable (which is, of course, why I told them in the first place). Welp. We gon' see.

Bought myself a vacuum mop combo cleaner that got delivered today and I'm irrationally excited to use it. This feels very 30s of me. I also made myself an Amazon wishlist of things I want to get for my apartment and am going to buy myself something off it every month. Next month, I'm looking to get a stool for my shower (because I've had one too many close calls standing up and masturbating with my shower head). Shit, maybe I'll get two things since it'll be my birthday month. We'll see.

I really live in LA. I was driving on the freeway over the weekend, on the way to visit a friend, and it was warm enough to roll my windows down. It's March. And this is my reality because I live in LA now and not the east coast city I grew up in. I wanted to do this shit and I did it. And I've built community out here. That thought hit me hard the other day. Thank you, God. Thank you, me.

I need a new job and I don't want one doing what I went to school for. Fuck. I'm over having a front row seat just to watch all the ways this world and this government are fucking these kids up every chance they get.

I said I was going to schedule and go to all my doctor's appointments this year. So far, I've had two appointments and I've got more scheduled. I said I was going to travel and see my family more this year. So far, I've gone home for my uncle's funeral, I'm going to Hawaii with my family next week, and in May, I'm traveling to NM for my cousin's college graduation. I said I was going to join a gym and I did that. I said I was going to start taking more walks and I've been doing that. I said I was going to get my retirement accounts in order and I've done that. I said I was going to get a travel credit card and I did that too.

I trick myself into thinking that I'm not making any progress on my goals just because they're not all accomplished right now today and that's not fair to me. I be doing shit.

I miss watching it grow from soft to hard. I miss a lot of things, to be honest.

These stores really just up and stopped selling plus sizes without a word about it. Now it's, "not in store, but we have them online." Fuck good is it doing me there? Especially when there's no uniformity in sizing. Ugh, they make my ass itch. I'm trying to shop for vacation clothes and this shit is blowing me.

Listen... I ain't never had any interest in dating outside of my race, but uh... if I get to Hawaii and a tall and sturdy, bearded Samoan get to winking at me I'm gonna need y'all to mind your business, hear?

This is long as shit, ain't it? I don't know why I have it in my mind that these Scatter-brained posts have to have at least ten bullet points. Who is that rule for? I don't even know when I came up with it. I can literally not do it at any point, but for some reason...

[wrens-versus-the-world]

A small sneak peak into what I've been working on

Foreword:

I have no knowledge of nursing/ medicine, so any info in this fic may not be accurate (aka don't try this at home kids lol).

also! If you're feeling so kind please message me and lmk if i need to fix something (chances are i'll do it)

Anywho, onto the story!!!

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One good thing about working late was that your mind tends to not fully comprehend the death of your patient due to pure exhaustion.

I haven't been working for the hospital as long as some of the other nurses here, but I think I've begun to get the hang of it. I've also been following the rules that I learned from my senior in my med school.

The rules are as follows:

Rule one: Never, and I mean never anger your fellow nurses. Doctors are fine, its the nurses who know what to do anyway.

Rule two: Always make sure to get rid of the expired blood! It'll take up space and it only takes one inexperienced nurse to lead to a disaster.

Rule three: If you work the night shift, after a while you may hear your name whispered as though very close to your ear. Whatever you do, do not follow the voices.

it was the third rule that my senior, Pei Xui, always repeated to us. Us being me and my college roommate, Jian Lan. We were like two peas in a pod, we went to two different high schools. But in our first college class calculus 1001, the both of us fresh out of high school, and both of us struggling, we quickly became good friends.

I digress, Pei Xui always told us to ignore anything strange we heard when we went to intern at hospitals. I never really questioned it, especially because his family, namely his little uncle Pei Ming, is a famous doctor who owns many hospitals. However after the hospital that Pei Xui interned at--the one he was supposed to take over two years from then, when he would have graduated--got shut down. For medical malpractice no less.

Even now, four years later, a nurse. I still don't question it. because whether or not he participated in the incident at that hospital or not, he was right.

Working the night shift at the hospital you begin to realize that you do hear someone, or something, calling your name. And Pei Xui was right, you don't follow it. You ignore it, and continue on with the night.

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Word count: 363

I am trying to increase my vocabulary, and change my writing style some. So, in that spirit I have decided to write this!

I really like all of the characters in TGCF (heaven's official blessing), so I am going to try to include a lot of them here.

Although I may not get to everyone, so if you really were hoping to have someone mentioned and you don't see them, sorry!

On another note, I am going to try to keep them 'cannon,' or as cannon as they can be with this not being the original.

So, since Pei Xui got banished from the heavenly realm, Pei Xui gets bye-byed from his job here too :D

(although this wont stay true for the entire story, so don't count on it)

[curiokins]

I think ill talk about some mems John and I have since new ones came to light. It might get a bit long,,

To start, John remembers that he was attached to parker and arthur was the one killed. There may have been a few things different but he has yet to remember which ones. But so far most things were the same just. He was in parkers body. That and he remembers being more something of flesh and sinew rather than some being of darkness.

I have less mems for kayne cause he was more recently accepted but I know after having killed all other versions of myself, I kept their bodies around to puppet or switch into. Just to play around with and wear like clothes in a way. And I mean sure I could change my appearance in some way yeah but I found it fun for some reason to keep these bodies around. I never stuck to one appearance really but I often stayed close to longer hair. I think I also may have tended to have snake traits also like fangs and eyes or just sometimes turning my tongue into a snake and speaking through it. I remember I wore like usually a suit with the tail coats. Like how to see cartoon conductors wear. I also had rings I wore. One pair I remember being two snake fang rings on each hand.

And this is more a hunch, not sure if its right but I believe my canon arthur tended to be more.... mousy. Or maybe that's just me. Who knows!

Ok and now the parker memories are going under a read more cause it'll be a bit long whoops

As Parker, well im not sure if I follow canon or not cause the most I follow is well dying in the beginning. But I remember I was an immigrant with my mother. Having moved there young. I had a number of handy skills from animal handling to butchering to handyman to even a bit of self defense.

Im not sure where we moved into first when we first arrived but I know it was a bit of hopping about til we settled somewhere we (she) liked and where she ended up staying and opening a small restaurant (and shop? I believe?) And then a fair bit after that when I was old enough, I headed off myself.

I had often wrote back to her cause she never bothered to get a phone even after she was likely able to afford it. I knew I didn't get much of her letters cause the first few years I think I had been hopping about too, not having a real place to stay. But once I did I got to keep and save some. There was one I think I had always kept on me. One I read when I ever felt homesick or down.

Now I remember when I met arthur, I remember him being well. Right off the deep end and being such a hostile rat. I believe the first thing he did was snap at me to go away when I came over but I stayed. Talked at him mostly. And well it went down from there.

After arthur eventually got himself sorted and looked put together, he was... such a dashing man. He had that sort of brown hair and eyes that frankly did look ordinary but when in sunlight... they shined. Especially when he actually seemed ready to face the world again. His hair would get these copper and shimmery yellow golden color in the odd few strands and his eyes turned almost like honey.

Lord I sound like a sap haha but honestly? I was in love with him. And still am. I was always so fond with arthur. He was my best friend, the love of my life, my everything...

But I doubt it amounted much to anything.

It may as well have been one sided even. I knew arth cared for me but I never did find out if he ever held any feelings for me too.

Anyway, I remember around maybe the beginning when we were getting to know each other, I'd join him at the bar. I remember it was a lively night, he and I were chatting with some lads there. Some I knew some I didn't. Arthur made some kinda joke to me as I was getting up. Maybe get more drinks, maybe to the restroom I dont know. But I remember clearly laughing to him and waving a hand and going "yea yea alright-" or something like that. I said something more but it fades from there.

Another memory, I think we were at some motel? Hotel? Somewhere for something. Or perhaps one of our homes even. I was in the bath and he was talking work. I had some kinda drink. He was against the door outside the bath and I laughed and I think told him to lighten up.

Me and arthur spent a lot of time together. I'd take him home when he worked too hard. Stayed together in the office. I'd try to teach him some fighting skills. I think around the time I knew him was when I got into boxing of sorts. At least I got into it more officially.