#on that note if I'm not just preemptively apologizing and it is hard to read let me know and I'll ease up

[gfl-neural-cloud]

Dear Professor,

The new furniture set [Warm Soiree] will be available for a limited time on September 19th!

When the night draws near, will there be someone who will carve out a little niche for you with a light, where you can freely speak what's on your mind?

Descriptions of the furniture are under the read more:

DormFurnitureSet WarmSoiree = [];

WarmSoiree[0] = Milano Carpet Not only will your feet be relieved, but so will your ever-cautious heart. Take off your shoes and socks; the satisfaction of its 1000% softness is the signal to get the party started. "Clearly, if a tree falls in a forest it DOES make a sound."

WarmSoiree[1] = Velvet Wallpaper Whether we're drunk or tired, we're never jolted back to lucidity when we place our hands on the wall to support ourselves as we wander freely, half-awake and half-dreaming as we dip in and out of consciousness. This is the kindness we ought to reserve for ourselves.

WarmSoiree[2] = Door of Dreams "Home is behind, and the world lies ahead."

WarmSoiree[3] = Leaf Green Lights Some decorations have no particular significance. They exist simply for the sake of a party, and when all's said and done, it is the only sign that there was activity and life in this place. "This is farewell, but we'd rather look forward to the next wild journey under the blue skies."

WarmSoiree[4] = Winter Harbor If there was anything more romantic than curling up in a warm house and enjoying the night scenery on a winter day, it would be doing it with friends — we even bet on which icicle on the door would fall first.

WarmSoiree[5] = Lazy Vortex Everyone wants me to fight for my future, but I just want to lead a steady and peaceful life. My sofa's prepared a surprise party for me tonight! Do you expect me to stand it up?!

WarmSoiree[6] = Afternoon Leisure Just about everyone has wanted to do this at some point in time: to sit on a chair, thinking of nothing, doing nothing, neither sleeping nor working, just sitting there in bliss. "We fight for peace and work for our leisure."

WarmSoiree[7] = Secret Kingdom Once I close the flap, only you and I are left in the world. I've already found the things which people spend their whole lives searching for: security, safety and the peace of mind you give me.

WarmSoiree[8] = Dynamic Snapshot The best part of a home movie theater is that we can see whatever we want and end it wherever we choose. "Getting a happy ending depends on when you consider the story over."

WarmSoiree[9] = Warm Buds I don't know if plants rejoice at our laughter, but I bet they don't like the noise. "Or maybe they like it loud!"

[paunchbunny]

i wanna ask for advice, and i apologize if it sounds weird or stupid. im in the northeast and i recently transferred to a state school after doing community for a bit. it's a big school with a lot of people from all over, which was really exciting at first because i thought i'd easily find people with similar interests, and also to really get in the dating game. However, it's been hard to find people are into nerdy shit like me, which has also made it to hard to find girls because i like nerdy girls. but the hardest part, and this is where i apologize again for sounding weird or stupid, is that... i haven't really seen any fat girls here. i've seen a couple but only in passing and never again. i attribute this to my school being a party school so people who aren't really into that or are generally shy just chill in their dorms, but it really sucks because i like being social just not in the frat way, and there's really no nerd clubs or anything outside of esports. i'm just kind of disheartened because i find myself not being attracted to 98% of the girls i see here, either physically or emotionally, and the ones i do like may not be leaving their dorms because of the environment here. so ig my question where would i look for nerdy fat girls in a place like this? (again so sorry for showing how much of a dumb kid i am). i know "fat woman" isn't some universal demographic where i can go to an exact place and always find them, but what else should i do? should i look into dating apps? are there any other types of clubs or things i should look into? i also just want to note that i love feedism and fat-related kinks, but at the end of the day I just like big girls so being into those kinks isn't something that's a must in a partner.

also with that being said, and ik i made it seem completely dry here, there is one girl i've seen relatively consistently on the way to classes and in the dining halls who is really really pretty and seems like we'd have similar interests, but idk how to introduce myself. we've only walked by each other and never talked so i have nothing to work with. would it be appropriate to stop her on the way to class or walk up to her at the dining hall and say sum like "hey i've seen you a couple of times on campus and thought you were pretty" and continue from there? i just don't want to look like a weirdo trying to talk to her or make her uncomfortable.

i hope all of this makes sense despite being all over the place. if you do happen to read this i want to preemptively say thank you for taking time out of your day to read this silly shit. I'm going to be transferring out of here for next semester due to reasons outside of socializing, so maybe things will be better at my next school but i would still like to make the most out of my time and make some sort of connections. especially because i've never been in a relationship before and really want to start putting myself out there. thanks again and have a good rest of your day!

ok so I see two main questions here hopefully I give a good answer.

1)I think the idea of seeking a partner based off appearance is fruitless. Ik that sounds harsh, but from my experience, i've found I've been the happiest in relationships that I kinda find myself falling into and build with the other person. I think actively seeking someone who fits your physical preferences will leave u feeling really self conscious, it'll invite negative opportunities to go "why do they not like me am I not enough" and that shit is defeating and soul crushing. If I were you, I would prioritize school and maybe dabble in something like a dating app with no real stock in the game.

if u want to meet more nerdy ppl tho, try a local game store with game nights or maybe a local convention. both my partner and I have had success meeting other like minded ppl at places like that :3

2) In terms of the girl ur eye-ing, if she has similar interests as u, maybe point out merch if she has any. Be like "wOAH I love your Pikachu keychain, is that your favorite pokemon?" I wouldn't force anything beyond that if she doesn't seem interested in conversation. even if she has short answers and is preoccupied with getting to class, she's still gonna have that memory of "that guy who was chill and complimented my Pikachu keychain" which is inherently a plus

dont feel obligated to follow this advice, for all I know it could be the worst advice ever. Either way I'm rooting for u anon!

[kittythelitter]

Recently Ive been thinking a lot about how often coming out as trans to someone who knew you before you came out becomes them preemptively getting defensive about the fact that they might misgender you.

And often when I voice this complaint to my cis friends, even ones who are really good about learning people's names and pronouns and like staunch allies it becomes about reassuring them that it's okay to get people's names and pronouns wrong sometimes. And it's like.

Sometimes you get it wrong. That's fair. But when you get it wrong all the time consistently and get defensive when you're being corrected that's a problem. When you don't apologize and don't try to change it's a problem. When you do apologize but make it all about you and how this is hard for you it's a problem.

There was i think a Tumblr post that compared it to stepping on someone's toes which I think is a pretty good comparison. Doing it by mistake happens you apologize and move on. It's not a big deal unless you make it a big deal. If someone says ow you stepped on my foot you don't need to say well you were standing near me and i have big feet you should really just say sorry and move on. But if you do it on purpose you're an asshole and the more people do it to a person the more it hurts and if you keep doing it over and over to the same person all the time you need to change what you're doing because you're hurting them. Consistently. And it's getting worse the more you do it. And the fact that you're not putting in the effort it takes to not step on their toes kind of says a lot about how much you respect that person and their boundaries. That being said if there's a real reason you keep doing it that's out of your control like my uncle who has memory problems or someone with some disability that makes motor control it's fine but when other people constantly apologize for them or make a big deal when they do it it's annoying.

The one thing i don't like about this comparison is often when you step on someone's feet it's because of some kind of special situation like dancing or sharing a small space or something or it's partially their fault which is to say the person whose toes are getting stepped on can often opt out of the situation that gets them stepped on, and/or it is partially their fault for being in the way. Trans people are not in the way. And opting out of situations where we get misgendered is at best considered rude or antisocial and at worst impossible. I can't opt out of existing in the world. I have to interact other humans who will sometimes misgender me. That is a fact of my life.

And i don't need relatives and friend's parents or my parents' friends responding to me saying my name and pronouns with "don't get mad when I get it wrong I'm old and I've known you a long time". Maybe from now on i should respond "okay but don't get mad when i correct you, because you won't learn if i don't point it out when you get it wrong" but that would probably be viewed as confrontational.

Which brings me to my solution. This is also something from an ancient Tumblr post but here's what any cis people (and trans people too if you're reading this) can do.

1) don't get defensive about your in/ability to learn names and pronouns.

2) if you misgender someone apologize and move on but also make a mental note to

3) if someone has a new name/pronoun or you meet someone who's name/pronoun you're struggling with practice it.

On your own out loud or with a close friend who is not that person. Come up with 5 to 10 sentences about that person using their name/pronoun. I like to do this in the shower or while doing the dishes and i introduce them like a contestant on a dating show.

This is Dylan! They're 24 years old and they're from Massachusetts. Dylan has a pet cat who is their favorite thing to post pictures of on social media. They like reading fanfiction about found families. They play lots of resource and farming based video games. Their favorite part of breath of the wild was cooking. I really care about them so I'm going to take the time to make sure i get their pronouns right.

4) if you see someone misgendering someone correct them

5) if someone is getting defensive about struggling remind them that the trans person isn't a burden and that mistakes happen but they can still be hurtful and we all need to take responsibility when we hurt someone

6) if someone is struggling a lot consistently tell them to practice, or even practice with them.

In the end it's a habit we can make and a habit we can remake, but it takes effort. Honestly not that much. The more you struggle with someone the more you should practice but it's just. Getting used to talking about that person, even in silly ways, even just to yourself, using the right language.

A lot of people put more effort into apologizing or explaining or getting defensive than it would take to just practice it.