#on that note I really need build a bear Fawkes

[mellarkandart]

does anyone else just get like an extreme sense of comfort with the Harry Potter franchise? I always have with fanfics, but lately it’s just like cuddling up with my Build A Bear Hedwig in my bed with my HP sheets and comforter in my HP pajamas while reading HP fanfic is just a whole new level of catharsis lately

[mermaider00]

“What? You think you’re the only one suffering?” - gen Roadhog & Ana

30. “What? You think you’re the only one suffering?”

(Again, sorry this took me so long, those crazy weeks really did me in. But I’m back now and ready to write.)

Note: This is obviously in some strange AU where ages and particular years and events don’t matter. So, you know… the regular Overwatch thing.

—————————————————————-

It was late and it was dark outside her small home. She could see the beam of her security lights shining bright through the curtains, but still Ana gripped her pistol against the back of her thigh as she headed for the front door to answer the heavy knocking there. Certain times were off limits for visits and now was that time, especially when she had to get Fareeha into bed and all tucked in.

Strangers usually didn’t knock so late unless they wanted something she wouldn’t be willing to give. Her pistol was a silent one. She could have a bullet right between their eyes before Fareeha even became aware someone was knocking on her home’s front door.

Ana shook some of her long black hair back, reached for the knob. Lightly rested her finger on the trigger.

Instinct had her suddenly gripping the gun and almost swinging her arm to aim the barrel at the sight of the very large man standing outside her door under the glow of the security lights, but recognition took over instead when she spotted the familiar eyes that went with the now familiar build.

“Mako,” she practically sighed out, easing her arm. “What the hell are you doing here? I almost shot you.”

He was the biggest man she’d ever laid eyes on, and Ana had seen things a civilian never would. She’d first met him years ago during a mission in Australia when Jack had enlisted Mako and his rebel group to assist them. He was still large and in charge, Ana saw, studying him closely. He had to be seven feet and his shoulders were still as wide as a river. His hair, once as black as the night, was starting to lighten, to gray, much like her own. But he was a bit younger, she remembered. What exactly was it that was wearing him down?

It obviously had to do with why he was here now.

“I need your help,” he said simply, and softly. Weary.

Her defenses eased up a few notches. She knew she could trust him though her had no desire to join Overwatch, but who knew what he was now bringing to her door. “This is my home,” she reminded him, her voice dropping in case little ears were nearby. “This is my daughter’s home. Not the place to give you help.”

His mouth was covered by a dark bandana, but she could see the slight smile in his eyes above it. “What kind of captain are you?”

“Not your captain, that’s for sure. What do you want, Mako? If you’ve brought people here–”

“No,” he said suddenly, then sighed gruffly. When he turned his head to glance behind himself, Ana gripped the gun again. “Well… I’m not alone. Look, you can put that thing away. You know I wouldn’t bring anyone dangerous to you or your kid.”

“I don’t know what’s going on with you people. You Australians have destroyed yourselves.”

His eyes darkened a tad. “I know that. That’s the only reason why I’m here. I have a… situation. I need your help, Ana, I don’t know what to do.”

“You? You don’t know what to do?”

“No, I don’t,” he growled, then sighed yet again. She’d never seen him this worked up before, not even when they’d once been ambushed and had to fight their way out of a mission gone wrong. With what looked like hesitancy, he stepped aside.

Ana lifted a dark brow as she stared down at the dirty little boy sitting in the dirt.

“What the hell is that?” she asked.

Apparently the boy had kept quiet for far too long. He flinched like she’d slapped him and said, “That? I’m a who, not a that, lady.”

Maybe, in a different circumstance, Ana would had thought the Australian boy cute, probably would have laughed at the fact that he’d been insulted by her misuse of words. He looked young, maybe six or seven years old at the most, and far too skinny for his age. His blonde hair was a mess and his dirty face had a scattering of freckles she could spot behind the splotches of smeared black. The clothes he had on hung off his thin body a few sizes far too big, and Ana could see the pant leg tied at his thigh that went with the lone crutch resting on his lap. He only had one leg.

She stared at that for a moment, she couldn’t help it. She felt a fist squeeze around her heart and instantly thought how this little boy wasn’t that much younger than Fareeha.

Her eyes turned away. “Mako?”

“This is Jamison Fawkes,” Mako told her, and she saw that just mentioning the boy’s name gave him an air she’d never experienced from him before. “He’s about six, maybe a little older, maybe younger. He doesn’t remember. You said we destroyed ourselves,” he then said to Ana quietly, giving the boy his back so he wouldn’t hear. “You’re right. It’s my fault. He doesn’t have anyone, he doesn’t even have a home. I found him playing with rats, as happy as can be. He was trying to chase them with a stick in one hand and his crutch in the other, all alone. He’s all alone, Ana.”

She’d never seen him look so intense. Staring into his eyes, she saw something there, something that looked like immense guilt. Mako felt guilty, and it all had to do with this little boy who was found playing with rats. “Why are you telling me this?” she asked, but she already knew the answer.

“I can’t take care of him. I don’t know how, I don’t know what I’m doing. I couldn’t leave him there but I can’t… give him this,” Mako muttered, gesturing to her little home. A safe and warm home she’d made.

“So you brought him here thinking I would take him.”

Mako was quiet for a moment, then murmured with defeat, “Yes.”

“I can’t take him.”

He went quiet again, and didn’t seem to know how to respond.

“What’s she sayin’?” the little boy asked from the ground behind Mako. “Roadie, I can’t see, you’re too big.”

And hearing his little voice, knowing what Mako wanted her to do… Ana suddenly became furious. How dare he put this on her. “Your plan is backfiring on you, isn’t it, Mako?”

“Ana–”

“Stop,” she hissed, holding up a hand to silence him. “I can’t take him. Do you know who I am, Mako? Did you even think? My men need me and I have an ominic crisis on my hands to deal with. I work eighty plus hours a week and get two nights here in my own bed if I’m not in a different country. I have four funerals to attend and I sleep with a gun under my pillow. I see more of the world in one month than some do in their entire lives.”

“Don’t,” Mako then said darkly, those guilty eyes flaring up into angry ones. He tugged down the bandana from his mouth so he could speak absolutely clearly. “Don’t give me all that when you and your kind left us to the bots. I know you have a crisis but so what? You think you’re the only one suffering?”

“You blew your land to shit–”

“Mom?”

Ana stopped and spun around. Usually Fareeha knew better, but perhaps hearing her mother talk casually with whoever it was on the other side of the door made her push past Ana to stare up at Mako. Her hair was damp from her bath and her yellow pajama’s were fresh for sleep. She peeked around Mako and saw the boy. Ana instantly wrapped her arm around her daughter’s shoulders.

“Hi,” Fareeha said to him. She didn’t get to play with kids very often. When she saw one, she instantly wanted to become friends. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Jamie,” he answered, smiling big. Ana saw a tooth missing on the side.

Ana didn’t want the kids to hear the words they were going to have, so she let her daughter and the boy have their own conversation. Fareeha asked him, “What happened to your leg?”

Jamie looked down at the stump. “It got sick,” he said softly, then perked up with a wicked grin, puffing his skinny chest up. “Roadie had ta cut it right off! There was blood everywhere but I didn’t cry not one tear, bloody oath it is.”

It was a lie, or at least he thought it was, but Fareeha’s reaction was worth it. She gasped and covered her mouth. “How horrible!”

Ana had to tune them out. Hearing them communicate was too much to bear. “I’m sorry, Mako, but you need to go. I can’t help you.”

“Ana, please. I came to you because I knew he’d be safe here.”

“No, you came here because I’m a mother, that’s why you came here. You thought, oh, well Ana has a child of her own, of course she’ll take this one too. Well you were wrong. I need to protect the one that I have, and do you know what that entails? Instead of playing with other children, she comes to work with me and I teach her how to defend herself. I’m dealing with my responsibilities, which are her and Overwatch, and that doesn’t include someone else’s child because you thought this would be a suitable home for him. I have men under my command, Mako. I have a daughter. I have enough.”

“How can you say that?” he growled out. “Look at him. He can barely walk.”

“I can say that because life is hard for all of us. The entire world needs me, Mako, not just him. And it looks like he is perfectly safe with you. He’s small enough, you can carry him until you figure out something else for him. Welcome to the world of having a child in tow while you deal with all of your other shit.”

And that, apparently, was all he needed to hear. He’d never been one to plead, he had already done as much as he was going to do. And he knew when no meant no. He could see it in her eyes, in her firm stance, in the arms folded across her chest with a hand that still held a gun. Captain Amari would not help him in the way he’d thought.

And she was right. He’d made a bad assumption. Mother’s were not mothers to all. Not when they didn’t want to be.

Sighing, Ana reached out and placed a hand on his arm. “We all have people we need to protect. I think he might be your assignment.”

His assignment, Mako thought. He took a step back, pulled the bandana back up over his face. No help here, time to leave. Time to move on and think of something else. “Jamison,” he said down to the boy. “Let’s go.”

Jamie looked up from playing sword fight with Fareeha. He was using his crutch as his make believe weapon. “I thought we was gonna stay, Roadie.”

“Roadie?” Ana asked.

Mako waved her off. “Come on,” he said to Jamie. “Get up.”

“Fareeha, go get the emergency pack. There’s food and water and other supplies in there,” she then said to Mako. “It has money and a tent. Take it.” She took the retrieved pack from her daughter and handed it to him. “Look, I can call someone for you.”

“Overwatch didn’t help us before, why would they help me now?” He slung the pack over his shoulder. “Some things are more important than the world, Ana. It always lets you down.”

He would’ve ignored anything else she could say so Ana merely watched him. Mako, instead of helping the boy up, waited for Jamie to get to his foot and crutch on his own. He would need to know how to do that, she thought, and again tried not to feel that fist in her chest. Without saying goodbye, Mako started off the way he’d come. He stopped a few feet ahead to wait for Jamie to catch up, hobbling along on his crutch.

“I really liked that girl, mate,” Jamie said to him happily, even turning around and waving at the ladies they were leaving behind. “You think we can visit them again? She said she has toys.”

“No,” Mako said, trying to keep his temper out of his voice. “We’re not gonna see them again.”

“Damn.” Jamie then hesitantly glanced up at his big friend after the curse, but Roadie didn’t react at all. How cool was it that he was allowed to curse in front of a grown up? “Well we don’t need them anyways. We’re big strong guys, right, Roadie?”

Mako stopped, stared down at Jamison. He smiled big up at him, missing tooth so easy to see. It was his fault. Everything was his fault, including that crutch. “You, big and strong? Don’t think so, you’re too skinny,” he said playfully.

“I won’t be skinny for long, you drongo. One day I’ll… I’ll be bigger than you! And you’ll be an old man.”

Mako then scooped the boy up on a laugh and carried him while he searched out shelter. Jamie wrapped his small arms around his neck and rested his cheek on his shoulder, obviously grateful to not have to walk anymore.

They weren’t the only ones suffering. No one was suffering more than the little boy found playing with rats.