#on purpose or not i think it's sweet to see how her failed romances do shape her for the better

[casscainmainly]

"I bet you're a good dancer."

From Superboy (1994) #85

[pastxlscorp]

Palia Character Impressions (pt.2)

I wasn't expecting my last Palia post to attract the fandom! I actually have played hours of it since then but because of college haven't had the time to get to writing another post! Thankfully I just finished my finals, so I'm back to being chronically online. Hope you all enjoy :)

Einar

A lot of people asked me about my thoughts on Einar, which was super surprising! I honestly didn't have many thoughts on him when I first started playing Palia. His dialogue was not very engaging to me. After HOURS (and I mean hours) of playing AND the most recent Ancient ruins that got added to the main storyline, I see why he is so well loved! He is such a fucking cutie! I find how much he enjoys the beauty of the world he is around so sweet, especially trying to understand the culture of the humans and engage with them in it. The recent story quest was sooooooo good at characterizing him.

*Spoilers*

In the most recent ruins added to the game, we meet another Galdur called the Gardener. His setup is so dystopian, I fucking adored it. Essentially, The Gardener is an AI of sorts that is able to control all Galdurs because he created them. That is his Oneness. He was abandoned by his human and was rarely acknowledged as a sentient being, thus he cannot understand the purpose of life if not to fulfill ones Oneness. When first meeting them, Gardener reveals that Einar is malfunctioning. I initially thought it was something serious, but the Gardener considers Einar a malfunction because he has more than one Oneness. He thinks Einar must be suffering from a lack of fulfillment and purpose and thus tries to reset his system. He continues to refer to Einar as "The Carpenter" (also calls him the "vertically gifted" one which I thought was fucking hilarious), which heavily implies Einar's oneness was something related to construction and he likely was a builder robot. I find that really wholesome compared to the Einar we know now, someone who finds fulfillment in fishing, something so far from his original Oneness. The Gardener also confirms that Einar likely has so many Onenesses because of his relationships with the humans he's met along the way, which put Einar in a whole new light for me. I didn't find my interactions with Einar anything special but now knowing that he does think fondly of the humans he is friends with really shows that his dry demeanor does have a lot of sweetness and thoughts behind it. Especially taking useless items to him, like carrots (that I always gift him) and using them as decor. I wouldn't romance Einar personally, but I can see why anyone would. Total cutie, and easily one of my favorite NPCS now.

Hekla

HEKLA MY BELOVED!! I love she. She became one of my favorites early on when I first started playing Palia. She is just so cute! She is so loving and kind and her adoration for Jina is so sweet. *Somewhat spoilers* I thought her lore was really depressing and it's somewhat angsty when you realize she latched on to Jina because she failed her prior child. It's even more angsty when you do her friendship quests and find out she is aware her attachment to Jina initially started because of her instinct to find a new Oneness. She's such a mom with her awkwardness sometimes and lack of awareness of social cues. I thought her friendship with Einar was always cute since she confirms she plays mental chess with him, but the recent quest shows that they really do respect each other in a high regard. They have somewhat of a familial relationship, almost like brother and sister. I think having Hekla be so spherical is a really nice contrast to her character. She is big like a shield, providing protection but also comfort and companionship-- like the whole idea around loving someone who can give "bear hugs."

Tamala

I love her design. I actually did not know Tamala was a NPC until I began engaging with Hassian and found out they were ex-lovers. She gave me witch vibes and I was right, not disappointed since they nailed that perfectly with her design (or at least an alchemist of sorts). She's a flirt and my first impression was honestly "Wow, I know why so many people love her. She's a milf." That changed when I found out she is hundreds of years old, using magic to rejuvenate herself. Makes sense since she does give off Mother Gothel vibes! Not only did she ignore all of Hassian's letters but she also laughs about it in the player's face. I feel even more bad for Hassian after learning this since Sifuu is implied to be somewhat of a neglectful mother and his other mom died. Poor dude already has mommy issues and gets groomed by a witch (I think it was also implied they had been intimate, considering Hassian wanted to marry her). I wonder if Hassian was always so closed in and it was encouraged by his heartbreak with Tamala, or if he became reclusive because of her. Very interesting background characterization, but this bitch is a predator since Hassian is most likely in his early or late 20s. Aside from her very obvious character flaws, I do love the choice of having a morally incorrect character. Most of the other villagers warm up to you, and even Eshe I would mark in the morally grey category. I also love the detail that most of the village is aware of her relationship with Hassian and doesn't fuck with her for what she did, or they just don't fuck with her period. Imagine being practically immortal and spending each century or so being hated by everyone.

Najuma

MY DAUGHTER! I love Najuma she's basically my kid. The parental figure you become to her has me weak in the heart every time she comes to you for help. I felt so bad when she comes to your housing plot after getting into a fight with her dad in one of her friendship quests. She even apologizes, not being sure you would kick her out or be bothered by her presence. She heavily confides in the player and even Hodari acknowledges this. When you try and talk to him about banning Najuma from the mines, he's firm on his answer and appreciates you looking out for her but that won't change his mind. I really wanna make a separate post on what NPCS would have a crush on the player despite not being romanced and Hodari is absolutely up there. ANYWAYS back to Najuma. I love how socially awkward she is too, really does a good job characterizing that she's just a teenager. I didn't even notice this until a friend who plays Palia pointed it out, but the fact she lost her leg in the explosion makes sense as to why there is such a big maturity gap between her and Auni. Auni has a good chunk of angst (which I will soon discuss) but he is certainly more on the carefree and energetic side compared to Najuma. Her intelligence is off the charts and makes sense considering she was hands-on working with both her father and mother. Her relationship with Auni is adorable, and I love how he looks up to Najuma. She's got the whole "Ahh you're so annoying but you can stay" dynamic with him and she clearly tries to act like she's annoyed by his energetic behavior with the player despite clearly hanging out with Auni enough to know a lot about him. Auni even has one of his friendship quests about Gardenia's, who he learned about from Najuma and wanted you to verify if it was true or not since she likes messing with him. Her bond with Zeki too was fairly surprising, and I like how Najuma is essentially an apprentice for him. He does not patronize her because she is a kid, however he does acknowledge that she has grown up too fast because of her experiences and is softer on her compared to the other villagers.

Auni

Last one for this post! Auni was always adorable to me, but his quests got him to be one of my favorite NPCS! I actually thought he was around the same age as Najuma because he has some pretty heavy inner turmoil for his age. He has a whole quest about wanting to run away because he feels so distant from his older brother, Nai'O. I absolutely adore their brotherly bond and Nai'O after this quest continuously mentions that's worried about Auni or mentions he appreciates you looking out for him. Nai'O (my impression of him has changed, I mind redo my initial impressions later on after I've written by impressions on everyone) is a super hard-worker and can't say no to people and frequently overworks himself (ex. that one bakery festival with his mom and the concert with Kenyatta). He has already confirmed his path as a farmer. His family is dirt-broke poor and frequently is behind on their taxes, which makes sense why Auni feels distant from him. Not to mention Nai'O is also dating Kenyatta, where some of his free time does seem to go. In addition to a less-than satisfactory relationship with his brother, Auni also is already having an identity crisis. He has an obsession with magic and is instantly enamored by the player upon meeting them because he thinks humans are all magical. His dream is to join the Order when he's older, but that would mean straying from his Path as a farmer. We already know what happens to villagers that stray from their path-- Look at Reth! He was not good at his path and went with something else and despite being good at it, he still receives a lot of judgment and shame. Then you have the angst with going along with your path, like with Jel. He is the only son in his family and all of his sisters are successful, creating a rivalry and tension between them all. Not to mention, his mom is still working as a high-end tailor present day. He has not been accepted by his mother and has been feeling the pressure since he was young, even going as far to steal one of his sister's designs. Despite having an obvious passion for tailoring, it makes sense why he's so melancholic. Imagine having this angst at Auni's age, especially seeing that his family is struggling and this Path is leading them into the ground. Not only does he have to acknowledge that this Path is not successful for his family currently, but that abandoning this path means it will die out (especially with the implications that Nai'O does not really wanna do this for the rest of his life). Aside from all that turmoil, his child-like innocence and his love for insects is so adorable. He admires Najuma (platonically or romantically as a little school-boy crush, who knows) and I love how he learns a lot from her. His relationship with Hassian too is also super adorable, since they seem to play cards every day. I was super confused when Auni tells you that Hassian is mad at you and then Hassian denies it-- for a good bit I couldn't tell if Auni had misread the situation or Hassian had gotten vulnerable and wasn't expecting Auni to tattle. In either interpretation, he clearly trusts Auni and I think that makes his whole situation with Tamala even more tragic. He was young and naive, and likely a lot more social-able before she broke his heart. I would say Auni is my son but my player would get jumped by Delilah and Badruu, so he's my surrogate son for the time being.

[whoslaurapalmer]

okay wait I have some omitb s4 ending thoughts, spoilers

-marshall's thing of 'am I a writer or am I a killer? maybe I have to be a killer to be a writer' was actually VERY tasty chewy but literally only existed for five minutes before he died. like, there could have (and SHOULD have) been sooooo much more build up to that, and I'm so disappointed!!!!!

-backtracking a moment, I loved seeing ron howard in episode 9 omg. ron howard miming slurping soup!!!!!!!!!!

- "don't TALK about the FISHING HOLE" as someone who still watches the occasional andy griffith rerun (as we all should) that was so fucking funny. holy fuck

-ANYWAY

-overwhelmingly omitb is a show that has a great, really fun and exciting buildup but the finales tend to fall a little flat, and with s1+2 I didn't mind, like that's not inherently bad -- it's a comedy murder mystery, it's allowed to be a little off and not completely clean in the plot!! it's okay!! (s2 is my top fav and I think the tightest and even I admit '14 sandwich' was a bizarre move.) and s3 was more Meh to me but still, fine, but s4......this ending was not doing it. and this season overall I really felt the holes in the writing style. Idk if it was the strike last summer? or if they are writing SO MUCH by the seat of their pants that it is starting to turn out much weaker than previous seasons. so many bad writing choices that make no sense in retrospect with the killer, things that were brought up purposely again and then never addressed so they're still unresolved, threads and implications (especially tied back to s3) that went NOWHERE, like i thought there was a real sense of, the writers trying to figure out their own story as they went along and not being able to do it successfully, I didn't feel like any of it was planned in the way like, jan's bassoon cleaner was in s1

-and even if that too was a 'figure it out as they went along' thing, that one still worked and felt more solid than whatever this season was doing!!!!!

-but I feel this way about the characters too -- s3 and s4 have still had gorgeous character moments but I feel like the writers have lost track of character arcs, ESPECIALLY oliver's

-I actually think it would have been more narratively satisfying for oliver to NOT marry, to recognize that he doesn't need to marry to be happy after his first "failed" marriage

-but I also think charles and oliver should get together at all times. so.

(-DONT ACT LIKE STEVE MARTIN AND MARTIN SHORT WOULD NOT WILLINGLY DO IT)

-THE FUCKING EMERGENCY CONTACT CONVO 😭😭

-I don't mind loretta, I like loretta's character, but I just don't dig her with oliver and I think their romance and keeping her on was a mistake, clearly evidenced by needing to write meryl off bc of I'm assuming upcoming scheduling conflicts and SENDING LORETTA TO NEW ZEALAND like..............what.......

-it was nice to have recognition of how much charles and mabel mean to oliver, but I feel like in s3+4 they've been so disjointed as a group and still haven't found that solid footing again. especially the way oliver treated mabel, in both seasons

(-was nice to see dickie and will at the wedding, though. that was sweet :) and winnie!!!!!)

-and mabel has such relatable moments esp re: being this floating adult trying to find her place but a lot of that. is going nowhere

-omitb is not an overwhelmingly dark show (even with having some super heavy moments this season) but charles being 100% ready to kill marshall???????????? incredible

-a big letdown in s3 for me was that charles threatening ben at the end of s2 was done so disappointingly when the reason finally was revealed in s3. that was just over loretta???? made no sense for charles to look THAT intense about it.

-they set up such an exciting idea and then!!!!!!!!!!! the execution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-so I mean like the show has these really exciting dark charles moments (LET OLD STEVE MARTIN DO THE BEST DRAMATIC ACTING OF HIS LIFE GODDDDDDDDDDD!!) but almost killing marshall will likely never amount to anything.

-...............although.............

-jan being the one to shoot marshall and still insisting she and charles were endgame. food for thought......

-yeah but are the writers and I eating the same meal. you know?? we are eating at different genre restaurants.

-and again, it's a fun show that delights in being fun, and that's fine!!!

-this season was just. sigh.

-also I miss theo. love theo.

-BUT LESTER????????????????? BEING THE ONE TO DIE??????????? AFTER TALKING ABOUT HOW HE GOT MARRIED NEAR THAT FOUNTAIN???????????

-lester :(

-so I'm intrigued to see how this pans out esp w it being the presumed last season (bc steve martin has said the plan was always for five) but I'm also. will it be satisfying..............

-ALSO TEA LEONI???????????? gorgeous. very exciting to see her and definitely intrigued re: the mob thing.

-I thought a good s5 plan would be like, hints dropped in s4 that sazz had somehow uncovered a cold case (the one charles and oliver bring up at the end of s3 I think?) (would have made the notes in her apartment make more sense than WRITING A SCREENPLAY) (not awful but. sigh.) and whoever was responsible for that was the one who had poisoned winnie/sent the s1 notes/etc, like that would be a really well-rounded ending plot, I thought, but now idk

[viennacherries]

Lyrical analysis you say? 👀👀

I happen to be a bit of a musician myself (I was in my middle school choir and am lying to myself)

Would love to hear your thoughts on anything Hozier has written, but particularly Talk bc I also have thoughts on that one

okay this is nothing to do with bg3 so anyone who isn't interested feel free to skip over this. that being said i do think this song fits very well with gale when he was trying to get mystra to forgive him while he's in the tower.

if u are interested it's below the cut :)

this song is a fukin masterpiece first of all, i LOVE hozier. his lyricism is fucking incredible and never fails to sweep me completely off my feet.

this song is lyrically one of his more straight forward songs, if you know the context behind what he's referencing.

essentially, the story of orpheus and eurydice is a greek myth. orpheus finds his beloved wife eurydice dead, and sings a song so sad and beautiful that the gods take pity on him. he visits hades and hades agrees to let eurydice live again, so long as orpheus doesn't look behind him as he leaves. orpheus is nearly at the exit, only a few paces away, but he loses his faith and turns to check she's still with him. she's a few steps behind him, right where hades said she would be, but as soon as their eyes meet she's dragged back into the underworld.

now, when hozier is referencing this story he's specifically comparing himself to all of the best qualities of the characters in the myth. orpheus' devotion to his wife, the hopeful feeling he had that he could save her, the overwhelming need he felt to see her that overpowered his ability to follow hades' instruction, and eurydice in her final moments forgiving orpheus anyway because she loves him so much. this verse is hozier promising the person he's singing to endless devotion.

however, his next verse says that he's imagining all of the (presumably) indecent things they could do together. he admits that he's sweet talking them so that they dont see through to how badly he desires them.

the second verse goes back to him talking about how devoted and loving he can be. he calls true love a "lost myth" but insists that he will be the exception. he's different to others, he truly loves them. through the next few lines he's essentially selling himself as the solution to all of their issues surrounding love, he'll be the release that he believes they won't truly find in anyone except for god at the end of the world. he's bigging himself up again, he's essentially trying to sell himself to this woman.

you can view this song in a couple of ways, in my opinion. this song can be a demonstration of true devotion and love, hozier offering himself up to worship this person and telling them all of the ways he will cherish them. but i think it can also be seen as manipulative. he's sweet talking them even though all he's really thinking about is bedding them; think like a guy at a bar who knows all the stuff to say but is gone by the time you wake up in the morning. i think it can also be a mix of both, he truly loves them but feels unworthy. he thinks if they knew all the ways he thought of them they wouldn't be interested, so he peacocks and promises and parades around in the hopes of impressing them.

the songs in d minor key. by placing it in this key he's purposely evoking certain emotions/creating a specific atmosphere. d minor lends itself especially well to creating a melancholy or anxious atmosphere. a lot of songs about grief and sadness are in d minor. christian schubert, in an essay he wrote in 1784, uses the term "melancholy womanliness" to describe the key. i think that perfectly describes the atmosphere hozier creates in this song. a lot of people say that hozier is "for the lesbians" (based as hell btw) because a lot of the songs he writes are about true love and devotion to women. he's reverential in the way he talks about passion and romance, and it fits really well into the female gaze. you could view this song as him acknowledging this ("imagine being loved by me" could be him talking to the listener).

the song is 77bpm, which classifies it as 'andante' (moderately slow). it gives it a slow relaxed feeling, which really sells the whole vibe of him trying to woo someone. combined with the prominent baseline and the choral backing vocals, the song feels like worship. it feels like laying your soul bare.

it's no doubt his sexiest song. the song reeks of sex and sensuality. down to every detail this song is about seducing someone. it's romantic, sensual, and overall an absolutely beautiful piece that perfectly demonstrates hozier's prowess with lyricism. one of his main strengths is his ability to paint a vivid picture with his words.

this is quite a simple and surface level analysis of the song as i've whacked it together but in conclusion: beautiful sexy song and i am in fact imagining being loved by him.

[acourtofthought]

I chuckled reading your last anon response, as a gywnriel and elucien I too cringe when I read super cheesy headcanoms, mostly because elriels are so cheesy, I don't want casual readers grouping us with elries. Don't get me wrong, I hope for some sweet, meaningful moments, these are romance books after all but my gooooood, have you read some of the things elriels write; I get second hand embarrassent - like there's cute and romantic and then there's straight up cringey, creepy and cheesy. Also, I hate HATE how they've literally rewritten Azriels personality and turned Elain as a damsel in distress, whos only purpose is to cater Azriel. Like, do they not see that the female is the prize not the male? Like as of right now, Azriel isn't good enough for anyone until he works on himself.

I keep trying to put into words what's "cheesy" versus romantic and I'm struggling to do it because it really is just a feeling when it happens. Where you do want to cover your eyes, groan and look away because it's so corny. SJMs couples have their romantic moments but they usually read as sweet and playful or sarcastic and loving. And they're never out of character for the couple. Like, the way the characters present themselves to others is not drastically different from the way the couple is behind closed doors (i.e., Az is sort of closed off to everyone on a regular basis so it's difficult for me to imagine him writing poetry and being a sappy puppy dog behind closed doors). Rhys is playful and suggestive towards Feyre whether it's in front of everyone or just the two of them. And Nesta is the kind to lovingly smack Cassian on the side of the head in front of the group or when they're alone. I like your comment that "the female is the prize, not the male." That's the point of books targeted at a female audience. We want the female to be the one who is worshipped for her bravery, her strength, her beauty (because to him she's always the most beautiful thing), her intelligence, and so on. I definitely don't want to read about a fantasy heroine whose purpose in the book is to cater to the whims to the male. Equals? Sure. But not where he gets to overshadow her value and E/riels seem to turn Elain into Azriel's permanent sidekick, and beyond that, the female to show him the soft, gentle love the sad lonely boy needs. I really dislike the idea that her love is what will show him his worth. That by her choosing him, he'll finally feel good enough. Also, I think E/riels fail to remember some important information about Az: He may have said this: "We're born hearing the song of the wind."

And: "They pull people together. And bring them joy. They are a time to pause and reflect and gather, and those are never bad things." Which sound poetic and meaningful but......... "You get used to the wording, he'd told me earlier. How often did he have to remind himself to use such words? Did "we" and "our" and "us" taste as foreign on his tongue as they did mine?" II don't really know where I fit in anymore." "I've been alive almost five and a half centuries, and I'm not sure of that either," Azriel said. "The Illyrians are pieces of shit." "Because Rhys wants me here. It'd hurt him if I didn't come." Az talks about "we" and "them" but if I'm correctly reading what SJM is telling us, Az doesn't really include himself in those statements. The Illyrians might have been born hearing the song of the wind but it sounds more like Az is parroting back something he's heard and not telling Elain something he feels. He also talks about the joy of holidays but again, he's only there because it means something to Rhys, not because he feels joy over the holiday. All these things that make Az so sweet in their minds and such a good match for Elain don't actually seem to describe Az at all, it's just Az applying knowledge that he's learned from watching others to the situation. At times, Az scares Rhys. At times he scares Feyre. And we know his actions have scared Mor. Cassian says Az is closed off, that he and Rhys have never been able to get him to open up and Az himself admits to not really knowing who he is. He admits to Elain not knowing who he is. This is not a male anyone can fall in love with right now because he doesn't even know himself and the things he does know of himself (the darkness inside of him) he struggles to accept. So all the E/riel moments they like to use feel fake because soft, gentle and poetic Az doesn't seem like the real Az to me. I'm not sure who Az will be once SJM gives him his healing arc but I don't think it's going to look like the version E/riels have created in their minds. They've created a romance between two characters when neither Az or Elain really knows who they are right now.

[glorioustidalwavedefendor]

That's it that is the entire show Loki is shamed for the qualities that are meant to make Sylvie cool.

I mean ... on a meta level this could be absolutely delicious

Same as lead tastes deliciously sweet

All the things our society praises in women, it condems in men and vice versa ...

If only it had been on purpose ... framed correctly ...

It always comes back to framing ...

It is weak and poorly written and would be a bad romance regardless of the selfcest aspect, but the selfcest does make it so much worse.

And the thing is ... it should work

THEY SHOULD WORK

Like just on paper ... just as characetr stats ... they should work ...

They are polar oposits in everything

aesthetic wise same as personality wise

even their biggest flaw is the exact oposit

Loki fails because he has to little confidence

Sylvie fails becasue she has to much

So what should happen is that together they are better

THEY SHOULD COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER

-> And that is kind a what the story very clumbsily does ... mention ... offhand ... since ... they only find HWR together

And HWR even states that the came as two ...

I've gone through a lot of scenarios... trying to find the right person to take this spot. It turns out that person came in two.

Implieing that neither would have succeeded alone

What should happen is that they MAKE each other better (not morally ... just ... more functional) ... stronger ... more successfu ... more accurat in their assesment ... quicker ...

They should work off each other

Throw each other the ball

You should get a little bretahless watching them ... trying to keep up with them ...

Becasue for teh firts time each of them has met someone that is as smart as the other, as powerfull as the other and as morally ambigous as the other ...

So for the firts time they are both cooking with water

Which would make her betrayal all the more suprising and all the more heartbreaking ...

This:

Why aren't we seeing this the same way?

Would be tragic instead of selfish and demanding, becasue ... they would have seen eye to eye until now ...

And again ... that is kind a the end result

(like, Loki figures out that Alioth is guarding something but they can only reach it with Sylvies specific power BUT only as unit ... she alone can't ... he alone can't ... )

... but we don't see how they got there

On the contrary

You can skipp the first 4 episodes ... and it only impoves their relationship ...

Becasue now there is room for events to breath

Becasue this:

Has this whole thing been a con? Really? That's what you think of me... after all this time? Sure. Why not? Evil Loki's master plan comes together.

Rings hollow ... if they have known each other a grand totall of ... 3-ish days ... and that is if we calculate very generous ...

-> That is not a lot of time for a human and deffinitely not enough for an immortal ...

That whole thing feels like two scripst fell in to a blender and someone just glued the shred together willy nilly ...

And the thing is ...

So ... I dodn't know if that is always the case

But I do know that the first avengers movie was written by a ghost writter and then wenn marvel was happy they brought in Joss Wheedon to add some bells and whistles so to speak

-> like they need certain things to happen in the movie becasue it is a stepping stone in a bigger story

And so what I think happened is that there was a ghostwritten outline that is clashing with the third rate waste paper Waldron produced

And so the outline is telling one story and the characer interactions are telling a different story ... and it just leaves me a bit dizzy ...

I really dislike Disney's new trend of "the girl saves the villain" that's been done with both kylo and loki

I don't even think that's the case with loki but the more i read about how the fandom interprets sylki the more i get this vibe, and while i don't exactly like rey and kylo/ben as a couple i can see how rey may have impacted his choice for redemption, she showed him compassion and had faith in him that he decided to twist to his own good

But in case of sylvie and loki i can't really see how sylvie treats loki any different than the people in his life that made him like that in the first place

I've also seen metas discussing that loki was so attracted to sylvie because she is a braver version of him one that he lacks the strength to be like her and while I don't want to bash sylvie but she is not brave she is vengeful try hard as i can i still can't see a single thing about her that makes her more powerful than other lokis, her backstory is almost the same as every varient in the tva only she is the one that managed to escape in the dumbest way possible? I still don't understand why she wasn't eliminated by the TVA for so long

Ones she escaped she must have had some time to try to figure out how this technology works cause as shown by the show she only spent a couple of hours in the TVA before her escape, and even if she did figure it out and the tva had been hunting her for so long why couldn't they just prune the timeline she hides in and get rid out her?

Thinking about this show hurts my brain tbh, and seeing the two couple compared to each other just made sth break loose in me

The biggest difference for me is Rey is good... but Sylvie is not. I know a lot of people tend to see someone with a "troubled past" and they're super quick to defend and justify the character no matter what they do (WF handles the story beautifully but the amount of fans I've seen justifying Namor really makes my skin crawl), but that's just not the way to go.

In Sylvie's case it's the same as Namor's, what part of her story means she's good? She's seen torching people alive, enchanting both agents and innocents at will, she's completely selfish and everything she does is for her own petty revenge. The only character in the series who never hurts an innocent is Loki. He's the only one.

So to claim that the girl saves the boy it's laughable. That implies the boy is bad but the girl is good, except we know she's not and the same attributes that are condemned in him are praised in her on the basis that it is her doing them.

But to claim that Sylvie is a braver version of him... oh my. How funny. So Classic Loki escaping means he's a coward but when it's her escaping that means she's brave? So brave that her method of violence is enchantment? Don't they see the irony in that? 😂😂

If her actions had been done by Loki they would be against them, they just don't want to admit that because the framing supports that.

PS. I agree with you about Reylo by the way. I'm not a fan, especially when Finn was right there! I loved those 3 characters but the story was so bland... oh well. We'll always have the throne room fight + Finn and Poe flying the tie fighter

[sitp-recs]

Hidden Gems by @sorrybutblog

Happy happy birthday iota! Today we celebrate two of my favourite fandom people, the power that you guys hold 😌 This list was supposed to be published later on in the series but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to scream again about your wonderful work. It’s been lovely to share this fandom space with you, and to get to know you better in the last few months. I’ve been in love with your fics ever since I read Waiting for that Feeling and now I finally get to share a proper reclist with your hidden gems!

I’ve told you this before but the first word that comes to mind when I think of your writing is “refreshing”. Your characters are a charming mix of open and tentative, a bit bold and a bit shy, and I can never guess what they’re doing or saying next, which is really exciting because it keeps me engaged at all times. I love how your Harry and Draco have such unique and interesting personalities; considering so many authors focus on Draco’s POV, your Harry has quickly become one of the most captivating takes I’ve seen on him lately.

Whenever I’m reading a iota fic I’m surprised by an unexpected joke that makes me snort out loud, or a subtle confession that makes me take a deep breath and go back to reread that line a few times. I love your brand of slice-of-life, light and fun but also contemplative and so so sexy (honestly, I haven’t seen someone make T and M content this sexy in a long time!) with low key angst, clever humor, engaging dialogue and A+ purposeful flirting. Your delicious UST and fab sense of humour got me immediately obsessed with both Heartlines and A Truth - I remember thinking “Wow iota has such a cool VIBE and I love it!”. Being in such a big fandom surrounded by many talented authors, I think it’s impressive that you found a strong, unique voice and are able to come up with original ways to approach these characters and tropes.

I’m always excited when I see you’ve posted a new fic because I know it’s gonna be a lovely treat perfectly crafted to meet my tastes. My picks probably aren’t a surprise to anyone - least of all iota 😂 - as I’ve been praising these gems for a while now. These are my 7 favorites but everyone should also go check her drabble collection. May I suggest Ephemera, Curiosity and Blue as a starting point? You’re welcome. Happy birthday my darling, I wish you all the nicest things and a lovely day! It’s a privilege to share this fandom with you :)

Eavesdrop (2021, T, 1k) - technically a microfic but I like it so much I wanted to include a small review. I love this concept and how iota gives them so much character here, jealous Harry is so hot! They come together nice and easy, and the hopeful ending left me wanting all the 8th year sneaking around (sorry, Michael!)

The walls at the Leaky Cauldron were paper thin. Harry knew this because he could hear Malfoy next door.

Market Saturdays (2021, M, 3.2k) - you know what they say, market romance is peak romance!!! This domestic fluff is everything I didn’t know I needed, I’ve read this fic multiple times and it never fails to make my heart ache with sweet tenderness for them. This gentle short story will cleanse your skin and cure your anxiety, results guaranteed or your money back 👌🏼

In which Harry is an accidental part-time cheesemonger, Draco is an organic farmer and they fall in love. Not an AU.

Waiting for that Feeling (2021, T, 3.8k) - road trip my beloved! This is a breathtaking and immersive friends to lovers tale with light angst, a perfect Ronald Weasley and soft contemplative vibes. It was my very first iota fic and it became an instant fave, I’ll always have a special spot for it inside my heart.

Draco Malfoy has a car and Harry Potter is on the case! Featuring Muggle car repair, a road trip to Cornwall, and falling in love in a Ford Fiesta. Read my rec here.

Postcards From Italy (2021, E, 6k) - the CMBYN AU we deserve! This fic combines delicious summery vibes with the gorgeous Italian aesthetique and a sexy, organic and quite charming acquaintances-to-lovers get together. I wanna live inside this pool party/nightclub/bathtub perfect universe, please and thank!

A pool party, a nightclub, a bathtub. Draco Malfoy is the last person Harry expected to run into the summer before his third year of university, but he's not complaining (at least not anymore).

Not Nineteen Forever (2022, E, 6k) - I still can’t believe this wonderful de-aging goodness was written for Liv day! This is a perfect Auror partners romance with the BEST sassy 19yo Draco, pining Harry, sweet friends to lovers with adorable flirting and a nod to Daddy kink 😳 basically everything I love in one place, sweet and clever and smutty as all lovely things iota creates.

A rogue charm hits on a mission and suddenly, Draco is nineteen again. Harry is still thirty-five and doing his best to look after his de-aged Auror partner (and forget about his long unrequited crush) until St. Mungo’s can brew the antidote. Only, Draco insists on wandering around Harry’s flat wearing nothing but Harry’s pants, flirting like his life depends on it and in the end, Harry’s only human after all. Read my rec here.

A Truth Universally Acknowledged (2021, M, 17k) - the ultimate P&P-inspired Drarry with perfect enemies to fuck buddies to friends (and lovers). Harry’s voice and want for Draco! The urgent sneaking around! The countryside romance! This fic is so so good it left me a bit incoherent, please expect a proper rec as soon as I stop screaming about this.

A year out from the war, Harry agrees to accompany Hermione on a historical walking tour of Pride and Prejudice. Not in the itinerary: running into Draco Malfoy, setting off a summer of stately homes, lavish parties, resentful shagging, and maybe, falling in love.

Heartlines (2022, T, 22k) - my favorite Cluefest this year, excellent and intriguing case fic with sentient Houses, competent Auror!Harry, surprising and brilliant sense of humour, delicious slow burn with clever dialogue and tons of UST! This fic is sexy, mysterious, funny and charming all at once, definitely a must read.

Just as Draco Malfoy's life seems to be getting back on track, the magic at Malfoy Manor is spinning out of control. Auror partners Harry Potter and Angelina Johnson are assigned to the case and quickly find that nothing about the situation is obvious. The flare ups are unpredictable at best, downright dangerous at worst, and why has a Hogwarts first year gone missing at the same time? Read my rec here.

[twilightau]

A duty before a sentiment; K.SN

[this story will be edited soon!]

main characters; crown prince!sunoo x princess!reader

side character(s); HS!y/n and prince!Heeseung (mentioned)

genre; angst, fluff, romance, royalty au, sort of forbidden lovers (but don't quote me on that)

warnings; slightly implied misogyny, implied threatening, mentions of insecurities, mentions of forced marriage.

word count; 2.9k (sir, i am confused. how is this possible…?!)

summary;  in which you can ask him for anything, but all you want is him.

networks; @kflixnet @ficscafe

author’s note; part three of The Dancing Princes​. also happy jungwon day! this isn't a jungwon fic but i promise it will come out soon! hehe

special thanks to; @heesplanet for beta-reading this for me and giving me encouraging words, you're a sweetheart <3

The kingdoms of Decelia were as distinct as they come. Each foreigner knows of their beauties and how well-acquainted the ruling families were, which was a rare sight to see. You are from a falling kingdom far from Decelia, the debts of your ancestors have piled up that your parents have no choice but to opt for the trade; their daughter for wealth, to save the kingdom.

It did not come as a surprise to you, the moment you were able to speak and think for yourself, you already knew that your brother would inherit the throne and you would be thrown aside sooner or later. You have prepared yourself well for the task and idly sat in the drawing-room day after day, waiting for your parents to confess.

However, you had never imagined them to send you off with your younger sister. You pitied her for having to give up her carefree days of youth to be involved in matters only you should sacrifice for, after all, one marriage with a kingdom of Decelia would suffice.

The first kingdom you visited was the kingdom of the Lees. It was said that they had two handsome and single princes, making your sister nervous for a double arrangement, but those worries were quickly tossed aside when you accompanied the queen for an afternoon tea with small chatter. She was well-aware of the purpose of your visit, and kindly explained she wished for her sons to choose their own wives. You felt uneasy as you failed to reach an agreement, but respected the queen for wishing true love upon her sons.

In the carriage to the next kingdom, your sister held your hand in worry, you looked her in the eyes and read the fear within them.

“Sister, do we have to marry without love?” she asked you, voice croaked as she spoke the last words. Your heart ached at the sight of your younger sister’s pain.

She should be running through the palace gardens with flowers in her hair, not dolled up in a carriage to meet up with strangers, closing a deal that will seal away her freedom. You thought hard about what you could possibly say to comfort her and ended up promising that you will give the freedom back no matter what.

The kingdom of Kim was just as described to you, beautiful in every aspect; it was rich in flora and fauna and enjoyed to flaunt that fact. Colors of all the shades of the rainbow adorned each corner you saw from the small window, and you were awestruck at the richness of expression the Kims managed to showcase through their art.

HS!y/n, a princess you have shortly spoken to at your rest stop in her kingdom, explained all sorts of things about the domain, and most of it spiraled back to the sole heir of the throne; Kim Sunoo. She spoke about him with fondness, and you wondered how close the two royals of the neighboring kingdoms were.

Your sister was visibly calmer this time, seemingly less worried. She even was the first to leave the carriage, immediately plucking a blue-colored rose that caught her attention. You were about to lecture her on not touching things recklessly, but a sweet tonal voice interrupted you.

“I see you have got an eye for precious objects, seeing how you picked the flower I was about to have for myself.” the young man stood tall, but his demeanor was friendly.

His light pink hair graces his face with a delicate beauty that leaves you in a bit of awe. Honey-brown eyes meet you with warmth, crinkling up into crescents as he speaks. “Hello princesses, welcome to our kingdom. I am the crown prince, Kim Sunoo.”

And gosh, the sun has nothing on his beaming smile.

It has been a while since you arrived in Sunoo's kingdom, and you must confess it was less dreadful than expected. It was quite the opposite if you were to admit.

The Kims were warm-hearted and welcomed your sister and you with open arms. They were quick to send the two of you all around the kingdom, having Sunoo guide you through the places worth to be seen, which was pretty much everything.

In this week of knowing all about the kingdom, you've got to see a lot about its crown prince, too. Prince Sunoo was a bright soul who was not afraid to be seen with commoners. He greeted everyone on the streets, asking about their days, and the commoners' adoration for their future king was evident.

You and your sister sit down for a private brunch when she asks you what you think of Sunoo. You weren't sure yet, but you think he would be as a good husband as he would be a good king. Your sister agrees with your words, admitting how she was impressed by the dynamics of this kingdom. You hum in response.

Both of you assumed the crown prince would marry his best friend HS!y/n. After all, an arranged marriage between friends was the best kind of marriage. Besides the apparent arrangement between two real lovers. But that seemed too much of a luxury to be considered in the circumstances.

The following week passes by with Sunoo inviting you to a private audience in the gardens, you did not overthink it, but you took your time picking your summer dress for the afternoon. All gardens in the kingdom were quite impressive, but the palace garden won the number one spot with no hesitation.

Sunoo asks you what you thought of the kingdom so far, and you tell him about the close relationship between the royals and commoners. The crown prince's eyes show pride at your words, and he nods his head in agreement.

"I hold my people dear, and I want them to know that even though this path has been chosen for me, I will work hard, every single day, to prove that I am worthy of being king."

"With those words alone, crown prince, you are more than worthy," you tell him truthfully. He laughs at your words, and you express your confusion.

"I did not quite see you as one to be about sentiments, princess y/n," he muses. You realize it, too. "It must be your personality rubbing off on me." you attempt to joke, and Sunoo's laughter grows louder. Then, finally, you let yourself go for a moment and join the laughter.

"I am not that sentimental!"

Your garden adventures extended for longer than you had expected, and you return with a dazed smile on your lips. The crown prince was charming; he had you charmed into his trap.

“I am sorry, dear sister. I had to refresh myself for a bit,” you apologize as you walk into the diner room in your evening gown. Your sister shakes her head, telling you not to worry with a love-struck expression on her face. You seat yourself opposite of her and ask her if anything has happened. She points at the bouquet of blue roses in the vase between the two of you.

“Crown prince Sunoo just came by and gifted those, he told me you would know the meaning behind those flowers.” you stare at the roses while realization dawns upon you.

“Edith, may I ask you something about flowers?” you ask your personal maid while she helps you into your evening gown.

“Of course, princess. Everyone in our kingdom has good knowledge of the flora. You mustn’t hesitate to ask” she beams at you.

“What do blue roses mean?” Edith stops momentarily to think about her answer.

"A blue rose with lilac tones means first love or unique love. The person who gifts those flowers harbors special feelings for the one receiving. In our kingdom, we value our blue flowers the most, so the meaning is deepened even more.”

You stare at the bunch of lilac-toned roses in front of you, a smile so wide it pains your cheeks. So much for not being sentimental, Kim Sunoo.

The engagement between prince Heeseung and princess HS!y/n caused a shock all across Decelia. It seems everyone expected the princess to marry Sunoo, but Sunoo himself seemed ecstatic about the announcement.

Now that everyone was certain about those affairs, their eyes start to turn to your sister and you. After all, the crown prince had to marry soon after his coronation.

You start to notice the difference in treatment your sister and you receive since then It was obvious that the people of the Kim kingdom were divided when it came to the princess they wished to be queen. You felt pity for those who were betting on you because you knew you would never be.

A month after your arrival in the kingdom of Kim, they held Sunoo’s coronation. Sunoo might be young, but he had shown excellent intuition and knowledge over his people, proving how well-suited he was to take over his father’s role.

You stand next to your sister, right behind the former king and queen as Sunoo receives his blessings and crown. The crowd underneath the balcony cheers loudly for their new king and blue roses are thrown into the air, a sign of respect and deep trust.

“―I would also like to make an announcement, as I wish for this happy occasion to be prolonged,” Sunoo tells the crowd, and several gasps are heard. Everyone knows exactly what he is going to do.

Your smile flatters the moment Sunoo’s parents step aside to reveal your sister and you to the crowd, an unpleasant brewing within you as Sunoo meets your eyes briefly, a tingle of feelings you should not have, before he looks at your sister.

King Sunoo smiles at the crowd below and holds his speech of gratitude and promises. You have a fond smile on your face, knowing how much this means to the young king.

"My dear people, tonight, on the very dance floor of our kingdom, I will announce my engagement to your future queen!" Your body feels like machinery screwed into place, only able to do what it has to but never what it wants.

The classic royal smile plastered on your face once again, your heart barely beating within the proximity of your ribcage. If only you had let yourself be her.

The evening ball progressed as you expected it to be; the newly crowned king talked among monarchs, royal members, and important nobles. It brought you to comfort how the situation was as you depicted, but it brought you a bit of discomfort whenever you noticed the soon-to-be-queen around his arm.

You distract yourself with dances accompanied by powerful nobles, each trying hard to impress you, and each making you feel hollower than the one before. It was up until the very man who fills your heart stands before you that emotions return into your system.

“King Sunoo,” you greeted the new king with politeness, he bows back in greeting and silently holds out his gloved hand for you to hold. Your eyes look up in a hesitant manner, and he understands your concern in an instant.

“One dance with you will do no harm, princess y/n,” he answers your silent question, his eyes regaining a few their sparks as he leads you to the dance floor. He pulls you close to him, just at the line between appropriately and inappropriately close. Your eyes warn him, but he only answers with his familiar eye smile.

“Moonbeam, I would like to give you a gift. Is there anything I could give or do for you?” He asks you in hushed tones, he leans in just close enough to ensure no one can lip-read his words.

The two of you dance in silence for several moments, awaiting your answer. Your mind was a bit dazed by his sudden use of the nickname.

It was clear to you what you desire most; a man would rob the stars to grant you happiness, and you found that man within Sunoo.

You had just come back from another private audience with Sunoo when you met the eyes of your parent's royal advisor, sir Dongsan. In usual circumstances, he brought calmness to your parents, but whenever he visited you or your siblings in private, it meant unpleasantries were about to be announced.

"Sir Dongsan," you greeted the man with grace. He returned your actions with his usual stiff smile. "Princess y/n, how much do you care for your sister?" He questions you after mere seconds of silence.

"She is one I regard in high value," you answer truthfully; uncertainty lays within you with the abrupt question. He nods in understanding.

"Then I have come to bear unsettling news," your heart drops when different scenarios cloud your mind, making the butterflies in your stomach turn sour, but you keep yourself collected and look the royal advisor in the eye.

"Tell me, please."

"If one of the princesses returns unmarried to a prince, the king will personally select a duke for an arrangement."

"But our kingdom only has a few dukes" you hold your breath before you say your next part. "None of them are unmarried."

"The king is well-aware, princess y/n."

The next day, you had your usual garden stroll with the crown prince. However, unlike the heart fluttering strolls before, you felt a heavy feeling within you, but you were sure about your request.

"Crown prince Sunoo, I would like to ask for a favor." your voice was always mellow when you spoke to the soon-to-be king, but today it felt softer than usual to Sunoo's ears.

"Of course, anything. But please, we are alone. You may call for me comfortably, moonbeam." his nickname for you recalls happy memories you will hold on to dearly.

"Sunshine, you know I love you, right?" you kept your gaze straight ahead but felt Sunoo whip his head around to look at you. Your heart hammering in your chest, nerves bundling up from your rushed confession.

After a few more steps, you notice the crown prince has stopped and turned around to see a slight pout on his face. You smile at the adorableness of the man and tilt your head, asking him why he is upset.

"I was supposed to confess first! I planned it all out!" he rambles on about all the plans he had made, but you were too stunned to pay full attention to what he had said. He reciprocates these feelings...for you?

"Oh! I am rambling, apologies, moonbeam. What was the favor you wanted to ask?" his eyes sparkled with curiosity. What could you possibly want, now that you had a future-king in love with you?

Your smile dropped completely, and you forced down the lump in your throat.

"Please, marry my sister and protect her from harm. Protect her at all costs, sunshine. For me."

"You know, moonbeam, at first I was upset when you asked me to marry another when I shared my honest affections for you," Sunoo leans back a little to show you his upset expression to emphasize how he felt you barely hold your laugh at his antics. "But then I thought it through, and I know you, y/n."

You hold your breath ever so slightly, anticipating what he has to say next.

"Princess y/n does not do foolish things. She is polite, calm, and does her duties diligently." Sunoo lists out for you. Yet, you still do not speak a word.

"But above all else, you are most diligent when it comes to your duty as a sister. Because she is the one you hold dear the most." he looks you straight in the soul, the two of you stop your dance, and he continues on.

"That day in the gardens, however, you told me you loved me. You could have asked me to marry your sister and keep your feelings to yourself, but you chose to speak them out loud because you are uncertain." You let out an inaudible sound out of impressiveness and shock. It seems the king was more than capable of reading people.

"You were uncertain whether you should choose your happiness or her freedom. I know it all, the threat your father had sent, I figured it all out" his interrogation narrative comes to an end, and you see the pain you have suffered reflected in his eyes. "And I must let you know, I am a king who is willing to trade riches to save your kingdom; marriage or no marriage."

He brings you in and holds you tight against his chest; his hand gently caresses your hair. "I will do anything for you, moonbeam. Just do not separate from me to gamble with your life, please" you hear his soft sniffle, and you snap.

All of the burden you had carried suddenly weighed too much, and you let yourself rest against Sunoo.

"Love." you correct the king. Sunoo does not remove himself from you, but you hear a confused what? In between his sniffles.

"You said loved, but that is untrue. I still do. I still love." Sunoo finally detaches himself from you to look at you with a dumbfounded expression. His previously confident and calculated eloquence is completely gone as he opens and closes his mouth.

"I suppose there is one thing I desire." you playfully say, your hand reaching for Sunoo's. He holds your hand with both of his and places it over his chest.

"What is it you desire, moonbeam?"

"My sunshine, and perhaps an engagement ring."

And gosh, the sun and moon could never shine as brightly together as the two of you did that night. And any other night after.

― ― ― ― ― ― ― ― ― ― ― ― ― ― ― ― ― ― ― ― ―

For anyone interested in the next parts of the series, should i open a taglist?

[mountain-man-cumeth]

What Went Wrong: An In-Depth Analysis of Muriel's Route

*Youtuber voice*

Below are the opinions of an uneducated individual on what could’ve left the majority of The Arcana audience dissatisfied. I will explore the plot, tropes, themes and morals of the Muriel route and try to explain what may have gone wrong. I will be treating the game as a novel since it's advertised as one.

1. Consistency. If you are unfamiliar with the chekhov's gun; it's a story writing principle that dictates each element you introduce should come into play (foreshadowing). Now let's start with a few story beats that were later abandoned or concluded in an underwhelming manner:

Muriel's blanket

Muriel's magic mark (on his back)

Forest spirit (spirits in general)

Lucio's upbringing

Circumstances of MC's death

Figurines/whittling/charms

Muriel's blanket is teased to be a tapestry, which would tie in with his later fascination with them later on, as it had been the only thing he had left from his past. MC neither sees nor comments on the blanket, we only know it exists thanks to other playthroughs and short stories.

Magic marks are an important point in the game. Every main route emphasises on how it affects the chosen LI. It's reveal is important in a way that it serves as a passage to a new act where the reader explores magic and Arcana pantheon as they are a monumental part of the overall worldbuilding. This exact point applies to the Heart of the Forest and how spirits interact with the world around them as well.

Whittling and Charm making are the only hobbies we get from Muriel's isolated life, their introduction helps the reader humanise the character by giving us a crumb of his everyday life. It's never mentioned again after the scene where MC asks him what he does. He doesn't idly whittle during their journey and charms only come to play in an offhanded reference during reversed ending.

The other two are also ignored but I will touch on Lucio later on.

Why do these matter? A few abandoned plot points don't make or break the story but on a grander level it hinders the audience investment. When we read, we like to think the details we notice will come to play eventually, we like recognizing references that were introduced earlier. I'm sure I don't need to give examples on this one, I don't think anyone will disagree.

2. Themes. Thematic influences this story utilized are all over the place, and it seems to me like it stems from the improper application of certain tropes;

The Hero's Journey

Home Sweet Home

Shell-Shocked Vet

Last of His Kind

etc.

Some of these tropes tackle themes such as;

Slavery

PTSD

Survivor's Guilt

Genocide

I'm not going to try to explain How to Write any of these topics. I'm not remotely qualified. I think it's better if I just give examples from popular media because whether you know how to write it or not, you can still understand when it's written well;

AtLA deals with genocide and survivor's guilt. It's in the name; The Last Airbender. Aang is the sole survivor of a culture he'd only had an opportunity to engage in for a handful of years. He left them with a childish tantrum and now they're gone forever. I can't think of another mainstream series that shows the gruesome reality of war and genocide better than this one.

When Muriel realizes his true heritage and loses Khamgalai is the point of the story where Luke sees his family's farm burned down, Aang goes back to the air temple, Treebeard walks in on the demolished part of the forest. (The inciting incident)

(Could also have been forest spirit’s death but it was too early in the story so I don’t consider it a missed opportunity.)

Up until this point the hero has their doubts, they're going through the motions but they are either underestimating the enemy or they're a passive protagonist. Either way, this is the point where the hero has to take the reins of the story. What purpose does this serve in Muriel's route instead? It simply validates Muriel's beliefs. He's useless, he isn't strong enough. We as the reader need a point to see where the hero takes a step to drive the story forward or whoever takes that step will steal the spotlight, it will be their story. As it is, this is the point where it ceases to be Muriel’s story.

PTSD got the worst end of the deal. Since Dragon Age fandom has a huge overlap with the Arcana I will use Fenris as an example; for those who are unfamiliar with the character, Fenris is an escaped slave. After the sex scene he vividly describes an experience that most people can easily identify as a flashback. The game never tells us that he was abused, it doesn’t show us him having a panic attack but it shows us that whatever transpired between him and the player character clearly triggered an unpleasant memory.

Arcana tries and initially succeeds to do something similar. We see that the character is untrustworthy, sensitive to touch, easily agitated, can’t sleep outside of his perceived safe environment… It introduces us the cause later on and the story has two options, each will drastically change the moral of the story:

Remember these as they will be important later on

Portray Muriel fighting as a bad thing; You can’t fight violence with violence angle or the fact that the villain’s forcing him into a situation where he’ll have to fight again makes the villain all the more intimidating.

Portray Muriel fighting as a good thing; He has the means to defeat the villain and he just needs encouragement. With great power comes great responsibility. By not fighting he willingly condemns everyone to an awful fate and that he is selfish.

I’d like to take a second to explore the 1. Option, I feel like the game may have intended to implement that idea but failed because of the implementation of Morga and choices presented for the player character: Morga is an Old-Soldier, these characters are often push the hero out of their comfort zone in an aggressive way towards complacency, they are a narrative foil to the mentor. For the first option to work the story had to show Khamgalai acting as a mentor and having the protagonists challenge Morga’s teachings(see Ozai-Iroh). As it is, Morga’s actions are never put under scrutiny (narratively) and her death feels hollow as a result. She didn’t sacrifice herself for the heroes due to her guilt, she died because she felt a moment of sympathy for her son which wasn’t explored before, she showed no intention to change nor any doubt.

It is clear the game choose 2. Option, it is a controversial choice given Muriel’s mental condition and the game is acutely aware of this, which is likely why Muriel’s PTSD will get carefully scraped from the story from here on out. (I won’t address other instances where his trauma wasn’t taken into account, I feel like this explanation should cover them as well.)

3. Morals. Every story, whether the author intends it or not, has a moral. The Villain most often acts against that moral and in turn can change the hero's perspective. Morals are not ideals; the morality of Killmonger isn’t that marginalised people should fight for their rights, it is that vengeance is just. Whether it’s right or wrong can be debated but what makes an ideal the moral of the story is in the portrayal. How the narrator depicts the events, how people around the heroes react... all are a part of portrayal.

The story choosing “Muriel fighting is a good thing” earlier puts in the foundation of a moral. The story tells us Muriel has to fight, it’s the right thing to do. He has to be brave for the people he loves.

This choice affects how his past actions will be perceived; now, him escaping the arena to save himself is cowardly, abandoning Morga is cowardly.

The story tells us it wasn’t, but shows us that it was. This is the end of the midpoint of the story, at this point we need to have a good grasp on what we should perceive as wrong or right for us to feel invested. If we zig-zag between the morals we won’t know which actions we should root for. But more than that, the conclusion will not feel cathartic as it will inevitably demonstrate the opposing ideals clashing at its climax.

Villain doesn't necessarily have to be sympathetic and Muriel's route makes no effort to make him as such, but they need to be understandable. What danger does Lucio pose to the status quo, what makes him a compelling villain? Whether he conquers Vesuvia or not doesn’t drastically affect Muriel’s way of life, he’s been in hiding for years. He doesn’t threaten to steal MC’s body, Muriel is not compelled to pick up arms to save his beloved. He wants to protect the people from going through what he’s been through, right? That is what the story wants us to think. But what has he been through? Fighting was his choice, Lucio tricked him into it. Lucio later tricked Morga, his own mother, to save his own hide. This tells us that Lucio is a manipulator, but he doesn’t manipulate his way into Vesuvia, he barges in with deus ex machina monsters. He doesn’t demonstrate his skills as a tactician by making deals with neighbouring kingdoms to get their armies. We don’t know his strengths therefore we don’t know his weaknesses. If he seems to be losing he can just conjure a giant dragon to burn everything down, we just can’t know. That is why the application of deus ex machina is highly taboo, the victories don’t feel earned and defeats feel unfair.

4. Tone. Playing with the genre is not uncommon and a game such as Arcana has many opportunities to do so. It is a romance story, everything else is the back-drop. The tone works best when its overall consistent but tonal changes act as shock for the audience to keep them engaged and keeping one tone indefinitely gets us desensitized. We can’t feel constant misery if we are not made to feel tinges of hope in between. Good examples of dramatic tonal change (that I can think of): Mulan - arriving at the decimated village, La Vita e Bella - the father’s death, M*A*S*H - death of Hawkeye’s friend. Two of these examples are mostly comedy which is why this tonal shift affects us so, it was all fun and games until we are slapped in the face with the war going on. There are no one liners in those scenes, the story takes a moment to show appropriate respect to the dead, it gives its characters time to digest and come to terms with loss. Bad examples are the majority of Marvel movies.

In Muriel’s route there’s never such a thing, Muriel has a panic attack and MC kisses him. This unintentionally tells us, the genre being romance, that the panic attack only served to further MC’s advances. It tells us that he’s never had the control of his life and it’s yet again stripped from him by the decisions of player character. This is not the only instance this happens. The story shoe-horns in multiple cuddle sessions between important plot beats. And it does the exact opposite during a moment where he is having a heart-to-heart with the person he loves by having the ghost of Morga appear to give an ominous warning/advice.

When he runs off during masquerade it’s built up to be an important plot point. Muriel will finally face his past, he’s been running away from it all along, and he will have an opportunity to be accepted back in. MC is supportive but ultimately, it’s meant to be Muriel's moment. But as I mentioned above this is not his story anymore so he’s not given any time to address his problems, instead a ghost appears to tell him what he needs to do, again. Because we need to wrap the story up, we don’t have time.

Remember how I said the 2 Options will be important later on, well here we are at the very end. Upright and reversed.

“Portray Muriel fighting as a bad thing”

This suggests that the triumph of Muriel won’t be through violence. Maybe he will outsmart Lucio in a different way, he won’t play his games anymore. This option suggests that Lucio will not be beaten by his own terms.

“Portray Muriel fighting as a good thing”

This option concludes with Muriel finally overcoming his reservations on violence and doing what's right to save the people he loves. And bringing justice to people who Lucio hurt.

If you are wondering why the upright ending feels random, this is likely why. The ending plays out as if the story was building on the 1st option while we spent chapters upon chapters playing out the 2nd one. It is unearned.

(The reversed ending, being reversed, also uses Option 1 path but in which Muriel can’t achieve his narrative conclusion)

The Coliseum is filled with people who are on their side against Lucio’s shadow goons. Because we can’t have people being on Lucio’s side without addressing the duality of human nature, even though it’s an important part of Muriel’s story. The people who watched and enjoyed Lucio’s bloodsport are no more, they are all new and enlightened offscreen. We completely skipped the part where Vesuvia comes to terms with its own complacency and Muriel simply feels at ease because the crowd is cheering on him now. This is what happens when you give the character a chance to challenge those who have been complicit in his abuse (masquerade scene) and completely skip it to move the story along.

Muriel doesn't get justice, ever. The people only love him now because he's fighting for them instead of his own survival. Morga or her clan doesn't answer for the massacre of Kokhuri, Vesuvia doesn't answer for the sick entertainment they indulged in and Lucio doesn't answer for Muriel's enslavement. It is not even acknowledged, nowhere in the story (except the very end of reversed ending, and even then it almost gets him killed so its clearly the wrong thing to do on his part) is a choice presented where Muriel has an opportunity to get any sort of compensation where he instead chooses to move on.

I don’t intend to straw man anyone but this is a sentiment I’ve seen a lot; “It’s a short story, a dating-sim, what do you expect?”

I expect nothing, I’m simply explaining why some people feel how they feel. It is a short dating-sim but it seems to me like it was aiming to be something more by borrowing elements that were clearly far above their weight range to tease something more and under deliver. It is okay to feel content with the story, and it’s okay to feel let down. If we had a unanimous decision on literature we would never be inclined to write our own stories.

[rcksmith]

You — Five Hargreeves

Request: “Could I get 37 and 63 from the smut prompts with older Five, if you are comfortable, if not then understandable”

Smut Prompts:

37. “I’m so sick of your voice. Why don’t you come over here and put your mouth to better use?”

63. “Could he make you feel as good as i do?”

A/ N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here!!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

I hope it got close to what you wanted. ❤️

Guys, I really understand who doesn't feel comfortable reading or writing Five's smut. But I always say that I only write with him (any genre: romance, fluff or angst) with the notion that Five is 20 years old here. All of my fanfics mention swearing or sex, even if it is a memory or something shallow, but as I am writing with Five as an adult, it is consistent that the fic has aspects of an adult life.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves / Fem! Reader.

Warnings: Smut, bad words.

— — — — —

You had dated some guys before, because no one turned 22 without getting hurt a little for love, but no relationship proved as intense (and difficult) as dating Five Hargreeves. If you could describe the 1 year that you were together, you would use only two words: sex and coldness.

Sex because Five had an appetite you've never seen in your life and you loved it. It was strong, intense, hot. He always seemed to want to discount your internal problems by fucking you hard, and you couldn't deny that his raw footprints drove you crazy.

And coldness because Five Hargreeves, as well as being hot in sex, was the north pole in romance. He was dry, very reserved, without any appreciation for physical touch or cutest demonstrations. He did not like to talk to much or participate in frivolous conversations.

He always had a sarcastic or rude argument for his comments about thinking that the two of you should act more like a couple and not like nymphomaniacs. And as time went by, you got tired of feeling that you didn't have a partner but a sex disk.

That's when you finished it all. It ended because you liked affection and love and not just fucking. It ended because you thought you deserved more and you didn't want to build a life with someone so cold.

That was the purpose of a relationship, wasn't it? Wanting to build a future with someone. And when you didn't see yourself building a future with Five anymore, you just finished. It was difficult, obviously. It shattered your heart, because in the end you still loved him, but it hurt more to know that there was no way to fix it.

And that's why you found yourself here, in a crowded nightclub, at 2 am, dancing with your friends and kissing any man just to try to forget Five. It had been three months since you two broke up, and staying in your room crying and eating chocolate didn't seem to be helping you get over it. So when your friends asked you out, you went. You went because you wanted to get drunk, kiss some cat guy and forget that your heart was in pieces.

And that was why you were kissing that guy, squeezing the back of his neck while his hands went down around you waist and squeezed your ass. He didn't have the intensity and electricity of Five, but he was a handsome, so... it would have to do.

As soon as you separated from him and started dancing with your friends again, enjoying the deafening music and what the drink did to your head and body, you felt more numb from the pain.

“I need another drink.” You warned one of your friends, almost screaming to try to make yourself heard with all that deafening music.

As soon as she nodded and you started walking among all those huddled bodies, you arrived at the counter a few seconds later, sitting in the only vacant seat.

“Vodka, pure.” You didn't want anything sweet, too soft. You wanted something rough, strong, that would mess with your system.

You needed something stronger than the pain you were feeling.

After turning the first shot, swallowing and closing your eyes for a second, trying to hold the grimace and the strong taste, you were going to ask for another when a voice came up behind you:

“Nothing more for her, thanks.”

You froze. Your heart failed and then shot to alarming levels. You knew that voice, you knew it better than your own. Suddenly, whether by drinking or by the presence behind you, your body started to get hot, shaky and wobbly. If you tried to get up now, you would surely fall.

That bastard wouldn't dare ...

“Hello, stranger.”

Yes, he would dare.

You turned to Five, amazed. Suddenly, you have never felt so sober in life, rigid, with heightened senses. And that was what you were talking about too. Whenever Five was involved, you became someone you didn't like. You were much more attentive to any intonation or half words, searching for hidden meanings for him sentences.

You hated that. You hated having to look for clues when in fact the person should say with word what he felt. You hated having to analyze syllable by syllable to know the true feelings. When all a dating should bring was honesty, calm, peace and complicity.

“What are you doing here?!” You were not smooth, because any situation involving Five was already exasperating for you.

“Is it forbidden to go to a nightclub?” The same condescending tone, the hands in the pockets, the smug look, the smirk.

Five was beautiful as sin, it was the definition of superb, but outer beauty was not you its weakness. So, as much as he looked like a God under those flashing lights, you just rolled your eyes.

“As far as I can remember, you called places like ‘Waste of time’ or ‘Ridiculous places Klaus goes to’ or, ‘Am I better than these places’ ” You were acidic, turning back to the front and asking the waiter for a shot again.

Five wouldn't tell you how much to drink.

“How skittish are we?” But turning forward was a bad idea, because Five leaned in behind you, breathing in your ear, in your neck.

You held a gasp, pressing your thighs together and trying to focus on anything other than the intense presence behind you.

“You are so skittish” then the voice continued under your skin, and you felt some fingers from it take your hair off your neck. “You used to be so obedient...”

So you were transported to the millions of memories of the times he fucked you. The millions of times he made you scream and obey his every command. Yes, you were a good girl for Five. And that sucked.

“Five.” Your voice was a warning, and when the waiter served your shot, you turned without thinking twice or without Five daring to intrude. “Go away”

You got up from the chair, trying to dodge his touch. Because you knew that if he touched you, you would give in, and if you gave in, you would end up in his bed, and if you did, your heart would be even more broken the next day.

Five frowned, questioning, his gaze fixed on you. Then all that intense energy was replaced by an angry wave.

“Is it because of him?”

His?

Now you frowned, but in a confused expression and you were beginning to wonder if Five had gone mad.

“Who…”

“Don't be innocent, I saw you with him today, just now. Rubbing on him like... like... ”

So Five was close to you again. The height of him making you lift the chin to look at him, the smell of man invading your nose... God, his are a fucking handsome and...

Focus!

"Whose are you talking about?" Five was still looking at you angrily and now with a hint of irony.

And that's when you realized who he was talking about. The guy you just kissed.

“For God's sake, Five!” You answered, incredulous. “It’s not ‘how are you, Y / N?’ Or ‘how have you been, Y/N?’ No, this is always your possessiveness of not losing your toy to someone else! But you know, big boy, your train left a long time ago.” You looked at him as if Five were your biggest enemy, and turned your back on him.

You needed to get away, needed to keep as much distance between you as possible. You already felt the grip in your throat, your eyes burning. God, this guy had an overwhelming power over you. You still love him, much, holy fuck!

Then you crossed the nightclub again, past the sea of ​​dancing bodies, hoping that, luckily, Five would lose sight of you in the crowd. But you no longer needed songs, dances or drinks, your mind was pounding so much that you just thought about being alone, at least for a second.

You continued to advance between the bodies, and when you reached the other end of the club, now far enough from the bar, you entered the ladies' room. The deafening sound of the music was drowned out when you closed the door, and only then did you manage to release the breath you were holding.

You was put both hands on the sink, taking a moment with your own thoughts before looking ahead and seeing your reflection. You weren't as bad as you felt, some mascara had out. The mirror said you should go home, but you didn't know if you could face those people outside with the possibility of seeing Five any second.

Lowering your head once more to turn on the tap and wet your hands to rub the back of your neck, you sighed deeply when the sensation of the cold water hit your hot skin. But all the sense of relief was gone when you looked in the mirror again and saw Five.

You gave a startled scream, turning to him in a burst and resting your hands on the sink behind you.

“What the fuck, Five!” Your heart was still pounding, but you were beginning to suspect it was because of his little smile.

Five was strode toward you, and he didn't stop until your body was trapped between his and the sink. It was hot. Five seethed like hell and smelled of sin, and you began to feel the pulse of it. It was unbearable how much power he had over you. But the truth was that you would always be a moldable dough in the hands of Five. Worse, he knew it.

He knew because you could see it in the way he looked at you, the way his hands went up from his your thigh to his neck, the way he leaned into your ear and murmured:

“You can't run from me, cute.”

And if you were a molding dough before, now you were clay on his fingers. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath through and pressing your fingers into the sink behind you.

“You were never a good liar.” He continued, the velvet voice from hell seducing you "I can feel your excitement from here."

Now you were on fire. Your core pulsed for him, your body burned and the desire became so strong that you felt like crying.

“Five...” You wanted to tell him to walk away, to leave. But your body begged you to willingly accept what he was giving you. The truth was, you wanted more.

“My good girl” now his thin, white fingers were on your neck, running the tips over your heaving skin.

Five Hargreeves was the wrong way and you were going willingly. You wanted to leave, but your whole body was begging you to let him touch you some more. Just a little more…

“Look at you…” Five's voice was still hoarse and seductive, his right hand wandered from your neck to the side of your body, outlining all your curves as if it were a goddamn treasure “I barely touched you and you're already excited.”

You wanted to say that it was ridiculous, that he was very arrogant. But you would only dig your own grave, because the truth was that you were excited. Much. And lying to a fucking genius was almost always impossible.

"Could he make you feel as good as i do?" If he hadn't been a presumptuous arrogant before, now he was.

His hand sank between your legs, and you groaned loudly when you felt the cold finger touch the core of your burning panties. You tilted your head back, leaning against the mirror as you closed your eyes in a silent groan.

“I bet you don't” now kisses landed on the skin of your exposed neck, heading towards the neckline “But I want to hear you say it.”

You could not. Because his fingers were playing with you and his mouth was all over the pulp of your breasts. It was too much, too much stimulus for your poor body that would be satisfied with just one kiss.

That's when the thought of the kiss brought you back to Earth orbit. Kisses have always been very intimate and romantic, and you remember that Five almost never kissed you much. It hurt you. It hurt because it looked like you were good enough for him to fuck you, but not good enough for him to think about being more loving and fighting for your relationship.

“Five…” Five lifted the mouth of your breasts, looking at you intently. “ I can't.”

"Why not? We had fun a loot before. ”

“Because this... this is not healthy. We will regret it tomorrow. ”

Five frowned, his hand motionless between your legs.

“Is there someone else?” His voice was low.

“Oh my God, no!” It was absurd how he only cared about that “You don't care about me! Only if someone is fucking me! ”

“God, Y / N!” Five was amazed “ What do you think I'm doing here?!"

You looked at Five as if him were crazy, and looked down at the position of their bodies and looked back at him, signaling very well what was happening.

Five laughed, perplexed, and took his hands off you immediately. He took a few steps back, the shadow of bitter laughter still bordering his mouth.

“Do you think I came here just to eat you?” Five's vocabulary could always be very dirty when he wanted to, and that secretly always turned you on. “Holy God, Y / N!”

“You think this is what ?!”

Then he came to you. And long hands held your face with intensity. There was despair in that touch, passion... and a very overwhelming desire.

“I want you. Ardently.” His voice was not soft “I came here to meet you and try to talk, because I want you back so much. Because I love you. But when I saw you in that little dress... kissing another one... Ah, Y / N” Now he stoked you with the words, each syllable beating against your lips “ I wanted to fuck you in front of everyone for them to see to whom that bitch belongs.”

You sighed loudly. You didn't want to, but it was involuntary. You should want more. You should want him to apologize out about the things he did, ask you back. But the truth was, the desire rumbled through your veins and you didn't want to wait any longer. For now, that would do.

You kissed him. With intensity, despair and savagery. Five reciprocated like a hungry animal and put his hands on your thigh, propelling you up and sitting you in the sink. You were hungry animals that used each other as food.

You thought a sex of reconciliation would be loving and intense. But Five always showed you that sex with him would always be rude. He was didn't make love to you, he fucked you, hard.

Five clutched your body with all his fingers, marking yoyr skin with purple ten digits. He pulled you close as if he could merge with you, and the panties you wore were brutally torn when he went to take them off.

When Five touched you, where you wanted it most, and pushed two fingers brutally into you, you screamed loudly and whined afterwards like a kitten.

"Oh, I will destroy you.” It was not a promise, it was a warning, a reminder of what he would do to you seconds later.

“Five!” You clasped your hands on his shoulders, shifting your waist around he fingers “please... please...!”

“Please what?!” Now he was rough, the fingers coming in and out of you aggressively, hitting your aching walls “Please, Five, fuck me? Or, please, Five, make me come?”

You groaned loudly, the words matching his aggressive rhythm.

“Fuck me! Fuck me, now! ” You stirred up more “Fuck me hard, Five.”

Suddenly, his other hand clung to your face, pulling you by the chin to look at him.

“Command, no! Begging, yes, it's cute, now commanding is unacceptable!” It was a clear, fierce warning. And when you whimpered and agreed to submit, Five tightened your jaw “I’m so sick of your voice. Why don’t you come over here and put your mouth to better use?”

Then him hand that was on your chin went to the nape of your neck, holding your hair tightly and bringing you closer. He removed his fingers from you, and come close at your mouth. You obediently opened it and took his two fingers. He didn't have to tell you to start sucking, running your tongue over all the mess you had made on his fingers.

“My dear good girl.”

His approval was followed by a friendly pat on your face, removing his hand from the back of your neck and unfastening his own belt. Five didn’t give you time to think before entering you, sinking deep into your core.

You screamed, pressing his fingers to your mouth and closing your eyes with intensity. But Five didn't give you time to breathe, his rhythm was constant, raw, arrogant, he was pushing hard inside you and you couldn't help but let out loud moans.

Five used the hand that was not in your mouth to grab your left thigh, releasing a loud, cracking slap when you squeezed it inside. You tried to keep sucking his fingers, but the intensity he put in you was so strong that your head was spinning.

“Do you want to come, little girl? Do you want to come for me?” He withdrew his fingers from your mouth, dissatisfied.

"Yea! Yes, please!"

Now you were begging. Begged in a pure and submissive way, and Five loved it. His pace increased, the thrusts became strong and steady, and his limb beat so deeply that you lost your breath. You were close, so close. felt herself being pushed into a giant, endless chasm, held by a thread that would soon break.

“Come to me, little bitch!” And that was cutting the wire.

You came. Intensely. You squeezed him inside as if your life depended on it and was rewarded with the hot, strong liquid filling you to the brim. You two were both panting, sweaty and satisfied. And you whimpered when his member was gone and the cum dripped from its pulsing core.

Five stared at the scene, mesmerized, letting out a loud sigh of satisfaction and kiss you again, now soft and lovin

"Welcome back." and you laughed, pushing his shoulder at the stupid joke.

[therealvinelle]

How do you believe Carlisle feels about Esme? How would their break up go? Would he ever cheat on her? I mean like emotionally?

He loves her.

I don’t doubt that his feelings for Esme are genuine, that he respects and cherishes her and wishes to spend his life with her. Esme, too, worships the man.

My complete lack of faith in this ship comes from the fact that they’re together for the wrong reasons and not compatible. 

The Bad Beginning

Carlisle had spent centuries searching for likeminded, he never did. In the end he succumbs and starts creating his own, first Edward and then Esme, and to his joy they both agree to do the diet.

Esme’s transformation was entirely an impulse on his end. He saw this delightful, vivacious young woman he’d known ten years ago lie broken and dying in the morgue, a Jane Doe declared dead, she was all too easy to steal. She was too far gone for him to have time to think it over, and so he went «alright let’s do this. I imagine it seemed rather like God had sent her to that morgue specifically. We learn from Midnight Sun that romance wasn’t on his mind at all (even if it was, that wouldn’t make their marriage more functional) and he expected nothing of her. He bit her because he didn’t want Esme Platt to die.

Esme, of course, wakes up into this new life under surreal, heavenly circumstances. Her child is still dead - but here is the mythic, pedestaled Dr. Cullen, now her savior and more wonderful than ever. To back myself up with the books:

Esme had already been in love with Carlisle—much to his shock—but not through any mystical, magical means. She’d met Carlisle as a girl and, drawn to his gentleness, wit, and otherworldly beauty, formed an attachment that had haunted her for the rest of her human years. Life had not been kind to Esme, and so it was not surprising that this golden memory of a good man had never been supplanted in her heart. After the burning torment of transformation, when she’d awakened to the face of her long-cherished dream, her affections were entirely his. (Midnight Sun, chapter Bloodtype)

Carlisle, on his end, hadn’t had the idea at all until Edward said “Dude, she’s into you, go for it.”

I’d been on hand to caution Carlisle about her unforeseen reaction. He’d expected that she would be shocked by her transformation, traumatized by the pain, horrified by what she’d become, much as I had been. He’d expected to have to explain and apologize, to soothe and to atone. He knew there was a good chance that she would have preferred death, that she would despise him for the choice made without her knowledge or consent. So the fact that she had been immediately prepared to join this life—not really the life, but to join him—was not something he was ready for.

He’d never seen himself as a possible object of romantic love before that moment. It seemed contrary to what he was—a vampire, a monster. The knowledge I gave him changed the way he looked at Esme, the way he looked at himself.

More than that, it was very a powerful thing, choosing to save someone. It was not a decision any sane individual made lightly. (sic)

I’m not entirely void of authorial intent - I get that this was supposed to be romcom where the cute nerdy guy has no idea the girl is interested. 

But, what I see is that after centuries of being alone, never finding anybody who shared his values, Carlisle finally has these two people who share his ideals, the only two in the world. He’s had countless friends, but it never worked out because of that damn diet. But, now he has these two people, and one of them is a beautiful, kind, wonderful woman who’s in love with him.

I imagine falling for Esme was easy. It was just so perfect, simply by being Carlisle Cullen he could make her happier than any other man, and given their shared diet, he wanted her by his side always, just as he did Edward. And this was it for him, really, to Carlisle Cullen Esme might as well be the only woman in the world because she’s the only one who'll share his lifestyle. He also felt responsible for her.

I don’t at all doubt their sincerity or affection for one another.

However, they did not fall for each other for each other’s sakes. Esme fell for the ideal since childhood, and Carlisle fell because she was perfect. Stick them in an AU and it won’t happen.

The Slippery Slope

Where they run into trouble is firstly that Esme doesn’t share these ideals, nor value human life for its own sake. Now, I’m not asking her to be a saint - but over the course of these books we had some lapses that I find pretty damning. 

She wanted Edward back in Forks, when this would almost certainly mean the death of Bella Swan, simply because to Esme having Edward nearby > a person’s life. This wasn’t the case for Carlisle, he made it extremely clear he wanted Edward to leave.

During the “Kill Bella?” vote, she was in favor of whatever meant Edward would stay.

Carlisle, having failed to get anywhere with talking sense into Edward, sends him home to his mother for an intervention. What happens next is that Esme gives Edward her blessing to eat the delicious girl if he wants to. Now, we can’t know specifically the talk Carlisle and Esme had before this, but I can’t imagine it was this. Also, damn, what a miscommunication.

Esme simply doesn’t have a problem with the deaths of individual humans, and she will put her loved ones above all other things, even if it’s a minor inconvenience. Keeping Bella alive only becomes her priority after Edward makes it clear he wants this.

Now, Carlisle’s standards have been worn down over the centuries, he just wants his family to try not to eat people on purpose, that’s how low the bar is. Tragically for his marriage, Esme is stumbling over said bar.

The further trouble they run into is that I don’t think they’re very compatible people.

Esme means well, but she’s peculiar, to put it extremely nicely. Her ambition in life is to LARP the human life, right down to being a master chef of something her species can’t eat, which could be sweet if she did other things. She doesn’t, the closest she gets is designing homes for her family. There’s being single-minded, and then there’s Esme, who appears to have honed herself into someone who exists only to be the housewife.

This leads to bizarre behavior - for instance in Midnight Sun when Edward has realized he’s in love, he sits around laughing to himself like a lunatic while playing the piano. Something happens with Rosalie, who runs out of the house in humiliation. Esme, responding to all this, gives her infamous “the best and brightest of us all” pep talk.

It’s just such a weird scene, even accounting for the inhumanity of Twilight vampires this is weird.

Mostly, thought, it is Esme’s interests and desires in life that I find so at odds with Carlisle’s. She wants to be an improved human, living the shinier, better, life without actually embracing the inhumanity of vampirism, while Carlisle is doing the human thing because he wants to be a doctor and save lives. Before that, he was travelling the world, living with normal vampires, using his eternity to study and pursue meaning in life. Now, they end up in the same place, with similar goals - wanting to blend in with humans - but the motivation is the polar opposite.

Which in turn means that as the world turns and their lives inevitably change, the way they live will have to change. This will spell trouble.

There’s also me having a strong suspicion these two don’t have much of a physical relationship, if any. Meyer specifically referred to their relationship as spiritual, and that fits the vibe we get from them in the books. Quite notably, Rosalie and Emmett were impossible to be around when they were newlyweds, while Carlisle and Esme weren’t a problem at all. 

Not to mention what Esme longed for all those years was very much an ideal of a man, which to me doesn’t immediately point to a very physical attraction.

The Penultimate Peril

Would he cheat on her, you ask. Answer is yes, they’re both cheating emotionally with Edward. No. 

He’s with her because he wants to be, and feels responsible for her. More, developing the kinds of feelings necessary for an emotional affair isn’t really on the table for him, since everyone else in the world is either a. one of his kids or the Denali, b. an unrepentant man-eating demon. So, unless Tanya’s feeling frisky, Carlisle doesn’t have anybody to cheat with.

(I’m here defining an emotional affair, which as I understand it is a bit hard to define, as a romantic, but non-physical entanglement. The cheating party has to know their partner wouldn’t be cool with it for it to count in my eyes.)

As for physically cheating on her, nope. God no, not ever. Unless something really convoluted like the plot of Blue Moon unfolded, but that’s really more a case of Esme pimping out her husband to her daughter-in-law, so everyone’s to blame here.

The end

I think the breakup can happen in any number of ways, but I think either way it will be sudden. 

These two aren’t going to go “you know, I think we’ve grown apart” because Esme would never acknowledge that nevermind walk up to Carlisle and say it, and if Carlisle realized things aren’t working he’d still want to stick it out for her sake.

I think it’ll be sudden, it’ll happen as the immovable object that is them is hit by an unstoppable force. One will go someplace the other can’t follow. Maybe when the Cullen coven splits down the middle, and they’re on each their own side of the chasm, or maybe some other cause entirely.

It’ll devastate them both, but given the people these two are, I think it’s inevitable.

[aminiatureworld]

A Sea of Fragments

Characters: Scaramouche, gn!reader

Word Count: 3,524

Warnings: Swearing, Fainting, Slight Violence

Premise: You just wanted to get away from a situation that was becoming untenable. Knowledge isn’t always a blessing, especially when it comes with the emotional toll of thousands of futures. Unfortunately however things don’t always go well, and soon you find yourself in a peculiar situation.

In which the reader is clairvoyant and Scaramouche takes an interest.

Author’s Note: Okay but I could write a whole series based off this premise. Ahh Scaramouche you petty drama king. Who is also a bit of an ass but oh well.

Scaramouche can be very entertaining to write but also very difficult. It’s tricky writing a romance with him that isn’t in some ways suspect, though I think that when you manage it he can be surprisingly soft. Really I think a lot of it depends on your interpretation of his character. I really like how this turned out though and I hope you enjoy!

You wanted to be helpful, you really did. Helping people, making your gift something more than an odd sort of burden, it gave you sense of purpose; but it was becoming too much. More and more you hardly knew yourself, whether you were living in your reality or in one which may yet come to pass. It was pressing down on you, causing you to spiral. You couldn’t do it anymore.

Stealing out of the village that had been your home since before you could remember, you couldn’t help but take a glance back. The picturesque houses that clumped together glowed warmly, shadows of people visible in the windows. You wished you could help, you really did. But the burden had become too much, and now it was time to go. Taking a deep breath you turned back towards the road. In a few steps you’d finally be free. And if it was a bittersweet kind of freedom, so be it.

_______

“I hardly expected to be dragged out here to listen to the fantastical rumors of a group of farmers.” Scaramouche raised an eyebrow. The Fatui Agent facing him shifted slightly, seemingly uncomfortable with the Harbinger’s scrutiny. Good. He deserved it.

“I understand the sentiment, but this is hardly an ordinary rumor –”

“Then what is it?” Scaramouche’s acerbic tone cut off the man, making it clear that he wasn’t going to be fooled into complacency. What nonsense people believed. That some of those people were members of the Tsaritsa’s elite army only made it more infuriating. Still, what could you expect of ordinary people? How easily they believed their own lies.

“At first we thought nothing about the rumor as well,” the mage who’d been silent for the duration of the conversation spoke up, “we were just planning on leaving it alone. But then the famed fortune teller vanished. They disappeared, despite no one doubting their claims. Rumor is that the whole thing was making them ill.”

“And now I’m to look into this because our little psychic got tired and ran away?” Scaramouche let out a dramatic sigh, pausing just long enough to see the underlings in front of him squirm. Finally, he shook his head. “Ah the things Signora asks me to do.” Standing up from the chair he was sitting in he turned his back on the messengers. “You’re dismissed. Don’t bother me with this again.” There was some shuffling as the Fatui bowed and left. Scaramouche always loved listening to the way people scuttled away after talking to him. No one had any backbone, they all cowered and slunk away, as if that would make him forget them. Well he never would.

Alone he couldn’t help but scoff once more at the ridiculousness of the whole thing. Honestly he expected more of Signora – who could usually be relied upon to possess a little more common sense than the rabble around them. Who would’ve thought her weakness was something as simple as someone pretending to see the future? Really it was quite sad.

“Let’s see what comes out of this little treasure hunt,” Scaramouche mused to himself, grabbing the pack he’d already made up once he’d first heard the rumors swirling around the camp, “they should hope it’s worth my time.”

_______

The village was terribly dinky, as one would expect of a community that was barely above the status of farming commune. Scaramouche wrinkled his nose, overwhelmed by irritating sounds, smells, and sights. How people could live in such a state? It was pitiful, how low humans could sink. Stepping around a cart laden with cabbages Scaramouche ducked inside the leaning structure that comprised the village center. Hopefully he wouldn’t be here long.

Awaiting him was the leader of the village. Her skin was cracked and tanned from the sun, and one couldn’t tell whether her wrinkles were a sign of old age or of the hardship of living a life devoid of luxury. One could almost feel pity for her, Scaramouche thought. Sitting down on the cushion across from her he gestured for her to talk. Hopefully this would be over soon.

“It was six nights ago that they left.” The woman’s voice trembled slightly, there were tears staining the corner of her eyes. “I don’t know why, we never made them unwelcome. They were simply there one day gone the next.”

“Did anyone see them?” Scaramouche attempted to hide his yawn. Usually he kept the tedious work in the lower ranks where it belonged. Still, this was turning into quite an outlandish story the more he heard about it. Apparently you really weren’t some ordinary charlatan, at least not to those around you; some even called you the reincarnation of a powerful spirit or a god. Of course all that might’ve been par for the course, but you refusing all money and gifts was certainly not. What kind of act were you peddling, the Harbinger wondered. Certainly not a very smart one.

“No,” the woman shook her head mournfully, “they lived alone, and often would be out at odd hours of the day, supposedly going to somewhere with less noise and purer air. We all suspected they really just wanted to be left alone. It seemed to annoy them when we asked too much, they often got headaches from it apparently. Once we even had to call in a doctor from the city, after they collapsed mid-vision.”

“I see.” Scaramouche didn’t bother to keep the scowl off his face. What was going on? There was an odd conventionality to this story, and if it weren’t for your roots here and your odd independence he’d certainly be dismissive. And yet…

As if mirroring this thought he raised his hand, standing up and walking towards the door. “Thank you for the information, I’ll be sure to tell you if I find them.”

“Don’t hurt them!” The woman shrank a bit as Scaramouche turned back to her, and he could see her hand trembling slightly as she set it back down.

“Why would you say that?” He said, voice dripping with false sweetness. “Why I wouldn’t dream of doing anything but bringing them home, safe and sound.” He didn’t bother adding anything else, both of them knew it was a lie. For what member of the Fatui does something with expecting anything in return?

Exiting the cramped structure Scaramouche immediately made for the path that led away from the village, out towards the vast wilderness of which folk tales were comprised of. You hadn’t gone far, that he could be relatively sure of. Someone disappearing suddenly like that, taking nothing but a sack full of food and a few weapons? They wouldn’t make it more than a few miles before stopping. Especially since the night watch had confirmed no one had left in the direction of the city. Luckily the Harbinger was more prepared.

_______

The sun had set long ago, and now Scaramouche watched as the moonlight danced upon the only lake in the area. He knew that his best bet was here.

The area was surprisingly beautiful, so much so that even Scaramouche could find some worth in it. The villagers had called it a valley, but really it was more of a canyon, most likely carved out from a glacier, back when gods walked the earth and humans still cowered in their caves. The grass around the lake was so green it seemed surreal, as if it were painted onto the earth, and an cattails and various grasses dotted the edge of the water. A miniature sort of lagoon lay to the north, the dense, low hanging trees obscuring it partially from view. Ethereal was the only way to describe it, anything more would’ve been pretentious and anything less would’ve been somewhat lacking.

The view was so mesmerizing that at first Scaramouche barely registered the shadow dotting the field. Quickly however he regained his senses. The figure was moving quickly, not erratic enough to be without a purpose, not staid enough to be dismissed as a cloud or a piece of flora. No, it was definitely a human, and definitely one who didn’t want to be seen. Smiling to himself Scaramouche leapt into the air. This was going to be at least somewhat interesting.

The figure jumped as soon as he hit the ground. Whirling around Scaramouche knew instantly it was you, the mysterious mystic he’d been looking for. Although, looking at your appearance it seemed more likely for you to be an invalid looking for someone with power, rather than being the source of said magic. The pallor of your skin was ghastly, and though you furrowed your brow and reached for your weapon your eyes were slightly glazed, your movements heavy and unsure.

“Well, what have we here?” Scaramouche smiled as you shrank back for a second. Despite his stature, he knew how to command a room, or a valley, when he needed to. You shook off his theatrics quickly enough though, scowling in response to his declaration.

“If you want me to do something for you, I’m afraid I’m fresh out of visions.”

“Oh? That’s not what I’ve heard. From what I know it seems like your talents never fail you. Unless, of course, you’ve given up on your scheme.” Instead of shock painting your face however you simply raised your hand to your face. Wobbling slightly on your feet you shook your head violently.

“Look, I don’t know what you want from me, but I’m not doing business, not before, not now, not ever. So if you could please leave me alone…” your voice faded. By now Scaramouche was sure something was wrong.

“What? Did you manage to get bit by something during your three day wildlife trip?” He sneered. You didn’t seem to hear him however. Staring him straight in the face the expression you wore could almost be described as a smirk.

“I’m going to faint now.” You deadpanned, before your knees buckled and you hit the ground so hard Scaramouche was sure that it was going to leave a bruise.

_______

Unfortunately the oppressive haze of passing out is much more difficult to handle when one is left stranded with an obnoxious stranger in the woods, a stranger who evidently has no intention of helping you. By the time you’d become properly aware of your surroundings they’d become so foreign as to be barely distinguishable from when you were fading in and out of consciousness.

You knew that you were in a tent, one so grand as to basically be a structure on its own. This, along with the cacophony outside, led you to the conclusion that whoever had picked you up – and you still weren’t sure who that odd purple haired man was, though asshole certainly seemed an apt term – they weren’t working alone. A peek outside proved you right, and to your horror you realized very quickly that not only were they not working alone, but that they were with, if not part of, one of the most despicable groups to ever walk Teyvat.

The hours passed, and the light from outside had significantly faded by the time the man came back, this time wearing something much flashier than before. The hat gave you all the information you needed.

“Harbinger.” You spat, glaring as hard as you could. For his part the man said nothing, only making the ghost of a bow, a smirk on lips.

“Feeling better are we? Really for someone supposedly blessed by the gods you have terrible stamina.”

“Try living through hundreds of fragments of fate and come back to me.” You shot back. Although you’d heard frightening stories of the Fatui, and especially of those who led them, you found irritation to be your main emotion. Apparently even fear can be bypassed if one is disgruntled enough. “What do you want anyways?”

“To see if you’re worth the reputation you’ve earned.” The man sat down on a chair so ornate it was almost comical. He stared right back at you, and if you hadn’t felt so drained you might’ve been uncomfortable. Still, you stood your ground.

“I’ve no interest in showing anything to the Fatui.” You kept your voice matter-of-fact. He was like all those other clients that ran to the village, only more vain and perhaps better with a weapon. Otherwise, well wasn’t he nothing at all?

“I’m not interested in your personal opinions. I have a duty to the Tsaritsa to make manifest her wishes through any means possible, and that might be quite a bit easier with one who can see the future.”

“I see many futures, not just the one that will pass. Besides, even if I could tell you exactly what will happen, I wouldn’t.”

“I could make you.” The man sneered, pupils shrinking to pinpricks. Frustration welled up inside you as you stood your ground. You wouldn’t lose.

“No, you can’t.”

“Why not? Plan on fighting me?”

“I could just wait until you left for your Harbinger duties.”

“I’d tie you up.”

“I’d escape.”

“Would you?”

“Yes.”

“This conversation is getting nowhere.” The Harbinger leaned back in his chair, sighing in what appeared to be mock annoyance. You smiled, despite yourself.

“I very much agree. So, how about you let me go and I in turn pretend that you never neglected to give me emergency medical attention.”

“Who’re you going to complain to?” The man snorted. You just shook your head, smiling morphing into a smirk.

“Who says I’m going to complain? I could just burn down your tent instead.”

“Ah yes, I forgot you’re a vision user, in both senses of the word.”

“Was that supposed to be a joke?” You wrinkled your nose. “If so it wasn’t very funny.”

“I think what’s not very funny is the way this conversation is going.” The man leaned forward once more. “For all your talk, I doubt you could do half of what you threatened, considering you could barely survive on your own for three days.”

“And I think you’re underestimating me.” You replied, continuing to smile as if this was a perfectly normal conversation. “It seems we’ve reached an impasse.”

There was a pause, and as the Harbinger’s face grew cold you wondered if he might storm out. You hoped he would. You wanted to be left alone, to think, to process, perhaps even to look into the future. Not that you tended to look into your own. Divining one’s own path was notoriously taxing, and often it was nearly impossible to wade through the fog of diverging paths.

“Look into my future.” The words took you out of your reverie and you shot a confused look at the person sitting across from you. Seeing the look of suspicion on your face he laughed, and though the laugh was sharp and slightly ugly, it seemed somehow more genuine than the theatrical tone which he’d been employing beforehand. “Look into my future,” he repeated, “and if you see a fragment which is to your liking, then work for me.”

“I don’t work for the Fatui.”

“And I don’t lose an opportunity. Besides,” he raised an eyebrow, “I specified you’d work for me. There’s a difference.”

“Hardly.” You replied, but nevertheless you closed your eyes.

The feeling of falling enveloped you, and when you opened your eyes you weren’t in a tent but rather surrounded by fragments of glass. Each reflected a piece of the future, and as you reached out to look at them you found yourself almost overwhelmed by the emotions they carried.

The first path of the future was one of death. There he stood, bathed in blood, purple eyes glowing with magic, a sadistic smile plastered upon his face. Around him lay the mangled bodies of those you knew he had slaughtered. Sometimes they were warriors, sometimes they seemed to be the most ordinary sort of people. There was a pressure in your ears and for a moment you couldn’t breathe. These futures were dead ones, and their rot now seeped into your skin, filling your throat.

The second path was different, although one would be hard pressed to call them pleasant. In those he was the one who had fallen, eyes which had once been bright now dulled by the shadow of death. A maniacal laughter filled the air in one fragment, a triumphant cry of having murdered a monster; in another fragment there was weeping, and though you couldn’t place who it was the voice sound distinctly familiar. In those fragments you felt an emptiness, and though you knew the tears sliding down your cheeks were par for the course, you were still ashamed by them.

The third path was oddly detached from the rest. You could still feel the crackle of darkness in the air, one who had become a Harbinger would never be able to escape such a thing. But there was something else too. There he stood, staring off into the distance, expression opaque, eyes seeing not the landscape around him but something inside himself. There was the familiar muffled tones of someone speaking – you could never truly hear what anyone said – and he turned around. The ghost of a smile passed his face and he stepped towards whoever was calling him. You focused on one specifically, that in which he seemed happiest. The feeling of contentment, of happiness, enveloped you, mixing with shame when you found yourself staring back at you. Shock running through your system the fragments shook around you, shattering like glass at your feet as you fell back to the present.

“That seemed like quite the experience.” 

There was amusement in the Harbinger’s voice, but you found yourself unable to answer him. Breathing heavily you tried to wrap your head around what you’d just envisioned. What in the name of the gods was that? Never before had you doubted your abilities, but now you prayed that you were wrong, prayed to anyone who could hear that you were mistaken. The residual feelings of the shard you’d just witnessed lingered, deepening your sense of unease, of shame. Happiness, how could you feel happiness? This man was a Harbinger, a menace to Teyvat, and you might… you couldn’t even finish the thought.

Wrenching your eyes shut you took a few deep breaths. Leave, you should just leave. Refuse his offer, what could he do? But now you couldn’t unsee the future, couldn’t erase the image from your mind. And though you scoffed at it, deep down inside of you something wished to reach out to that bit of the future once more, to ensure its survival. Exactly why, you couldn’t tell. You could tell yourself it was the horror of the rest of the fragments, but even that wouldn’t be quite accurate. This was the issue with looking into the future. It always ended up affecting the past. Wasn’t this one of the reasons why you’d wanted to leave? Now you’d carry the burden of knowledge with you forever, this one more painful than most.

“Are you going to faint again?” The words were rough but the tone was less so. Opening your eyes you stared into the man’s eyes. Was this what would set you on that path? It seemed so surreal. And yet you knew that it might still come to pass.

“No.” The word came out softer than you’d hoped. “I’m alright.”

He said nothing for a moment, while you in turn calmed yourself down. Finally though he grew impatient. Leaning his head on his hand he spoke once more.

“So, will you work for me?” You glared at him but said nothing. How could you answer it now. You couldn’t tell him what you’d just witnessed, it seemed taboo. Still, the situation had changed. Even if he didn’t know it, it had changed very much.

“Fine.” Your words surprised you, but only for a moment. You’d known, you’d known the moment you’d look into that sea of futures and felt that sense of happiness. It was too late. You’d folded. He’d won.

“Good.” At first the Harbinger stayed still, but soon enough he was standing up, moving towards the entrance of the tent. “I’ll get you what you need. Like I said you’ll be working for me, not for the Fatui, so we can work out the details of your contract ourselves.”

“Whatever you say…”

“Scaramouche.”

“Scaramouche.” You finished. Scaramouche smiled, and in it you saw a ghost of the future.

“And your name?”

“You’ll have to wait to get that answer.” You replied, feeling somewhat contrary.

“As you wish. Well then, mysterious clairvoyant, I look forward to our work together.” Scaramouche replied once more before stepping outside. You sighed, feeling the exhaustion of everything that had just passed. s

You’d taken a gamble with fate, for the future was still uncertain, and the days leading up to it were sure to be full of pitfalls. Still you were resilient. You’d make that future happen. No matter what.

And, if worst came to worst, you wouldn’t be the one crying when the world fell apart.

[wienerbarnes]

A Certain Romance (5/6)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader 

Word Count: 2,039

Warnings: bit of angst

A/N: 👀👀👀 lol

MAIN MASTERLIST | A CERTAIN ROMANCE MASTERLIST

While he’s strapped into the same suit he keeps finding himself stuck in, the night doesn’t seem to be going as bad as he imagined.

He’s waiting for you to finish getting ready, you did your hair and makeup already, you just need to put on your shoes and jewelry, you’d told him.

He remembers how you weren’t one for fancy, over-the-top restaurants; you made it clear that very first date. It comforts him that while you’re always happy to see friends, you’re not exactly thrilled and he can rely on you if he wants to leave earlier rather than later.

He hears clicks down the hall get closer and closer and he glances over to look at you, a pocket of air catching in his throat that he holds back.

You’re wearing white and Bucky thinks you look like an angel. The sleeves are long and poofy at the shoulders, a tight neckline highlighting your cleavage, and a cinched waist that makes the dress look a little shorter than it is above your knees. Your skin is glowy from moisturizing after the shower you took earlier and images of what Bucky imagines you look like rubbing lotion on your smooth legs flash in his mind.

He hopes he’s not drooling.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer, stud.” You adjust a small strap at your ankle and he’s still trying to find something to respond, anything to stop him from gaping like a fish.

“You look beautiful.” Is all that comes out, and he knows it doesn’t do nearly enough justice to describe how you look.

“Thanks, Buck.” You tell him, visibly taken back at the lack of snark. You were expecting a little teasing, a bit of flirting to dip your toes into what the rest of the night will consist of. While Bucky’s never not complimented you, he does it often, as he does to all of his friends, but this was very… sincere. More sincere than usual.

He finally clears his throat to compose himself a little, “Are you ready to head out?”

You give him a nod and a gentle smile, walking with him to the door to exit. The walk to his car a block down isn’t far, and you laugh when Bucky offers you a piggyback ride, not knowing how you can walk in those - referring to your heels.

You can sense Bucky get a bit nervous in the car when the restaurant enters both of your lines of sight. You wrap an arm through the loop his own arm creates with his forearm resting on the middle console, your hand sliding up to gently squeeze his thick bicep, your other arm resting on top of the curve of his elbow.

“Don’t worry, if the place is too lame, I’ll say my heel’s busted and we can try and leave early.”

“Yeah, you’ll cut through that little stick on the bottom of your shoe with the butter knife?”

“Mhm,” You hum, “And leave Sam with the bill.”

He laughs at that, and laughs more when you follow up with, “I forgot my wallet by the way.”

It’s sooner rather than later that the car is parked and you two arrive outside the Italian restaurant Sam picked. He made sure to look it up this time beforehand, with your help, of course, and sees that while the restaurant is still a bit too fancy for his taste, it’s not nearly as bad as the last one he went to where he met you.

“I know you can’t get drunk, but I’m going to play a little game where I drink every time someone in here does something embarrassingly snooty.” You whisper to him, still holding onto his arm, as the waiter leads you two to the table where Sam and his date are waiting.

“You’ll blackout before the appetizer, I wouldn’t try it.” Bucky begins, but after a second thought, “Actually, maybe if you’re drunk we can leave sooner, drinks for you will be on me.”

You giggle quietly into his arm and shut yourself up as you finally arrive at the table, Sam and his date standing to greet you both.

Kisses are planted on everyone's cheeks and introductions are given out as everyone takes their seat. You sit across from Sam on Bucky’s right, his hand holding yours on your thigh. He’s not sure if he’s holding it for show, if Sam and his date can even see them holding hands, or if he’s holding your hand because he likes the feeling of your skin under his hand.

He knows the answer.

The calamari and salads are Bucky’s friend as it makes less time for talking, everyone enjoying the food. While waiting on the main dishes, though, Sam’s date, a very kind and beautiful woman, asks him the question he’s been dreading.

“So, how are you guys? Sam tells me you guys are a new couple, I love all the gushy details.”

The gushy details, she’s perfect for Sam.

“We met on one of Sam’s set-up dates, actually, and just hit it off pretty well. Nothing more to tell.” You answer, thankfully, and keep it short and sweet, hopefully enough information to change the subject.

“Oh, c’mon, y’all can do better than that.” Sam teases, a sly smile on his face.

To him, he’s teasing his friends about finally finding love after swearing against it. But, to you and Bucky, you’re being forced to tell a story you don’t know. You and Bucky should’ve hashed out some details before this, you think.

Bucky’s not the greatest liar, so he just decides to be honest.

“Well, when we met, neither of us were really looking to date anybody. We were both in a place where we didn’t feel ready for a relationship yet, but we gave it a try with each other anyway. And…” He pauses, putting his thoughts together.

“I was surprised. By her kindness, by her humor, by the way she comforts me, by the way she understands me. I expected another failed relationship, another person that either got tired of me or got fed up with who I am and the baggage I come with. But the failure never came.

“Instead I got this amazing girl, who has just as much baggage as I do and I get to accept it with open arms. I got someone who’s healed me a lot more than she knows.”

He’s sweating, and he reaches for the glass of wine at his side, fixing to do something with his hands and his mouth. Your hand is still in his on your lap, grip a bit looser now, though, and he feels your eyes on him. He’s too scared to look.

“See? That’s the kinda lovey-dovey shit I’m talking about.” Sam jokes, a bright smile on his face at the sight of his two friends, raising his glass towards the middle of the table, everyone else’s joining in a second after.

“That’s real sweet,” His date chirps, “You guys really do look in love. I’m happy for y’all.”

The entrees arrive but Bucky’s no longer hungry.

The drive home has been silent. You’ve been quiet since leaving the restaurant and bidding goodbye to Sam and his date, only holding onto his arm until the two of you were out of their sight. Unlike the walk to the restaurant, where you were whispering in his ear, clutching onto his arm, you didn’t even glance his way.

He feels like he’s about to suffocate in the car.

“Are you okay?” His voice breaks the silence.

You’re quiet for a moment before answering his question with one of your own, “What… what was that back there?”

“It was eggplant ravioli, that’s why it looked a little -”

“Bucky.”

He realizes playing dumb isn’t going to work in this situation. Of course it wouldn’t, you’re way too smart for that.

“What you said… seemed a little too... real.” You finally get out.

His mouth opens and closes again when he realizes he doesn’t have a response. It seemed real because it was real. His face appears to give away his thoughts because the second you look over at him, he’s caught. You sigh and raise your hands to cover your face in frustration.

“Bucky, the whole reason we did this in the first place was because we didn’t want a relationship! That was the whole point!” You say, your voice rising.

“I know that was the whole point,” He says, voice calmer than yours, but his resolve quickly fading as embarrassment floods his body.

“Then?!”

“Then, I didn’t do it on purpose! I didn’t mean to catch feelings, but I did!” He yells.

“Bucky, I -”

“Yeah, I know you don’t want a relationship and don’t feel the same. Don’t worry, I’ll get over it.” He snaps, voice harsh, harsher than he’s ever used on you before.

More silence.

He wants to cry. He feels so embarrassed, and so angry at himself. Why did he say that at dinner? He could’ve lied, he could’ve downplayed it a little more, he could’ve not said anything at all and let you take the reins. Instead he all but confessed his feelings for you in front of your friends.

And if that’s not enough, the argument in the car only makes him feel more embarrassed, the conversation playing over and over in his head as a reminder of much you don’t want him; of how much nobody wants him.

His jaw clenches as he swallows the lump in his throat and he sees you in his peripheries sneak a glance at him.

He couldn’t have pulled up outside your apartment building sooner.

“I’m sorry,” He says after clearing his throat. He uses the last bit of dignity he has left to try and mend at least a few of the pieces.

“Can - can we just forget about it? Please?” He asks, his heart begging for you to agree. He can deal with the unrequited feelings as long as you stick around.

“Bucky, I… I just need some time. To think. About all of this. I just - I can’t be around you knowing you’re in love with me. I’m sorry.” You step out of the car before he can respond, and his eyes close as the door shuts, leaving him alone in the car.

He hears the beeps of the buttons at your door and then a distant click, and he doesn’t have to look up from his hands in his lap to know you made it inside.

He doesn’t drive away yet, though. He looks up at the roof of his car to try and stop the watering of his eyes and lets out a harsh sigh.

He eventually puts the car in drive again and roughly grabs the wheel, taking himself home, unaware that you watched him from the apartment building lobby.

The first thing he sees when he steps into his own apartment is a small plant that you brought him a few days ago. It sits on a small table he has by the door next to a dish for both sets of his keys.

In a moment of anger he grabs the potted plant and throws it as hard as he can across the room, shattering against a cabinet door in his kitchen in front of him.

“Shit,” He curses, going quickly to the kitchen to begin picking up the broken ceramic.

He separates the pieces of ceramic and cups his hands around the dirt to try and put it into a pile for him to transfer into another cup of some kind. A tear hits the side of his palm and he scoffs, annoyed at himself.

“Why the fuck are you crying, it’s just a fucking stupid plant,” He mumbles, voice cracking.

He sees the roots untangled from one another and ripped in some places. The plant is going to die, regardless if he puts it in another pot or gives it all the water in the world. No amount of care will save it.

He sniffs and drops the plant back on the ground, slumping back and leaning against the bottom cabinet under his sink.

“Fuck.” He says to himself, hand coming up to his face to wipe away stray tears.

[yn-x-animeboy]

Jungkook x y/n (as a famous artist) Pt.3

sinopsis: You are a popular artist in America, pretty famous, loved and well-known by the general public (actually you were one of the top 10 artists in the world but you are pretty humble and naïve to realize your popularity), one day during one of your fan meets you talk about how much you love BTS, and not only how you wish to meet them and work with them but how Jungkook is one of your celebrity crushes. During the meet you fangirled with other ARMYs in the crowd; video clips of you fangirling and talking about BTS at your meet where posted and reposted all over social media. This obviously broke the internet because you were not only a famous singer but you also were always accepted and loved by ARMY and this made a lot of people happy. Suddenly it felt like everyone wanted you to meet the seven handsome and talented idols and collaborate, but you could only wish, you believed they didn't even know who you were...or so you thought

pairing: reader x Jungkook

genre: fluff, romance, for entertainment purposes

BTS x Fem Reader

Parts: 1 here & 2 here

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Part: 3 - The Jimmy Fallon Show

A couple of months have passed since your fan meet episode went viral and since BTS saw the video too. A lot has happened since then tbh, you kept working hard, you just put out your 5th studio album which is doing amazing in the charts, it reached no.1 for album of the year and 3 of your songs stand in the first places amongst other artists on the top 100 songs as well. BTS have also been working on music and projects, not a lot of time for you all. 

Even though it has been a long time since your ‘fan meet’ episode was aired  the media still brings up your episode highlights where you talk about BTS, it is not another really, it doesn't seem to affect you. Neither you or BTS have openly spoken about this to the general public, to them, it seemed like a cute exchange between you and your fans where they got ‘close and personal’. The only difference now is that your fans and ARMYs now have a ship name for you and Jungkook, and they still wish their ship could sail someday….

Thanks to the success your album has had in the short time it was published, you have been invited to multiple talk-shows to promote your new music and to basically catch up with the media. As an artist the whole publicity thing is important for your team and company. Even though it can be hard to ‘do press’ as a celebrity, you enjoy it and always do your best for your supporters. Your fans and everyone who became a fan of your infamous episode would troll around twitter writing things like ‘will BTS be on this show appearing with y/n?’ ‘AYe y/n watch out, they are going to surprise you with BTS’; but you didn't really have time to see them, only your team was aware. Your days working + rehearsing + promoting don't really give you time to scoop around your social media.

Today on your schedule: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. Tonight you will be performing and having an interview for the show. You love this show so much, you have been invited before,  and you really feel comfortable on set in the company of Jimmy and his team/staff, they are always super nice and welcoming. You haven’t been there for an interview in a while and you are excited. (Even though it went viral, and it was your fantasy, the whole “I WISH I COULD MEET BTS AT A TONIGHT SHOW” was not really on your mind today, probablly because of how hectic your day was. You woke up super early and took a flight on your jet to New York, then you went to rehearsal to rehearse the song you’ll be performing tonight, went to the hotel and took a shower, went to two important business meetings for your record company, barely had time to eat, then went and had hair and makeup done for an afternoon interview for a radio show and finally some rest before you went to the Jimmy Fallon studio)

The Tonight Show starts at 10:00pm but you have to get there earlier to greet Jimmy and the staff, to quickly rehearse your performance, to go over details about the show, get ready, etc. You arrive on set at around 6:00pm in sweatpants, a baggy Ariana Grande merch T-shirt, sneakers and fresh hair from your second shower today. You walk through the door next to your personal bodyguard Lee and Manager Sam, followed by your stylist Meg behind you, you look around to see if you could recognize any familiar faces, The camera crew were setting up their high budget equipment, staff members cleaning, running around and preparing for tonight's live interview. Jimmy comes out from behind a door with casual clothes and messy hair, nothing like his sleek professional look on TV. Smiling he greets you and your team; he takes a step forward and hugs you tightly “Hi y/n it’s so nice to see you, it has been a while we have missed you, ever since your interview was scheduled for this week the staff has been excited to see you again, including me, you are one of our favorite guests to have over i swear” you look at him sweetly with hands on your chest from his hind words (the reason why they loved you so much was because you were different from other celebrities on the show, you were always super polite and nice to the staff and took time out of your schedule to greet everyone and introduce yourself, even though you were one of the biggest stars in the world you humble personality attracted many). “Omg stop Jimmy you are so sweet, I love your show so much it’s always an honor, thanks again for inviting meI wanna say hi to the staff, can I?” You said; Jimmy has been like a mentor to you when it comes to interviews and press, he was one of the first people to believe in you and interview you when you debuted. “Yes of course you go ahead, I’ll talk with your manager while you do so to catch up.” (They were good friends too)

While Jimmy and Sam catch up, and your stylist and bodyguard follow an assistant to put your stuff in the dressing room; you walk around introducing yourself to the staff; you visit the camera crew, the audio booth, the lighting crew, the producers, the PD, the meeting room, even the cafeteria. This helped you also to loosen up and feel more comfortable and confident for the show. After the greeting you quickly rehearsed with your talented backup dancers for the performance to get used to the ‘stage’ and the spacing.

One of the sweet staff members you just met offered to show you to your dressing room where Lee, Sam and Meg were waiting for you. You entered the spacious dressing room and sat at a small couch next to Lee (he was your bodyguard but sometimes even acted like a father/guardian to you, you were thankful you had a close connection with your team) You treated them all, including your dancers, to a mini banquet of food from the cafeteria and chatted about nothing before you had to start getting ready. Sam started getting constant phone calls, as your manager he was constantly busy on the phone, he ignored a couple of them but the caller seemed insistant, Sam saw the caller ID and shot up and ran outside to answer. “Ey no phones on the table mister” you teased as he was halfway out the door, he flipped you off and you back at him and proceeded to finish your snack; “Who would be so insistent, the company handles the calls when Sam has something to to with y/n… this interview has been scheduled for a month now…” Meg, your stylist commented, but you just just shrugged her shoulders as you swallowed the last bite of your sandwich, not really thinking too much about it. You stood up to brush your teeth after finishing eating. (what you failed to notice was Lee making a face to Meg basically telling her to ‘shut up’.... they knew something you didn’t but you didn’t see said interaction at all)

After 20-30 mins Sam came back as if nothing happened, you were now sitting in front of the large vanity mirror and Meg staring at your hair behind you. “Is everything okay Sammy?” You asked, thinking the call could be from a family member or an emergency, judging on the time it took. “No, yes- um it was just a catch up call, apparently the company did not answer their call in my place so they called me directly ignoring the fact that I was here with you.” he spoke. “Ah yeah, well that's good, well we finished our food and cleaned up so the girls (referring to the 2 backup dancers) and I could start getting ready but I left you and Lee some cookies and coffee on the table” you said pointing to the small coffee table in front of the couch that was previously filled with food, Lee, a 6’5 tall man sitting in a tiny couch with a cookie on his right hand and coffee on his left making space for Sam to sit next to him. cute. 

You finish getting ready, hair done simple and comfortable for your interview and later performance, light natural makeup letting your natural beauty show off and fancy yet comfortable outfit that allows you to sit and dance comfortably. You felt really pretty and powerful. It was 9:30, only 30 mins before The Tonight Show started. before The live audience was allowed inside the studio you went over your dance quickly to make sure your outfit was safe to dance in, to make sure the music was the right one and to let the camera crew plan out their shots for the dance and interview segments. Once again you bought your head towards the staff and wished them good luck and a good show, you introduced yourself to the live band that accomplies Jimmy for the show as well and went backstage again for the final touch ups and waited for your turn to come out.

----

“.... and now here is your host...Jimmy Fallon'' he was introduced as the audience clapped for him and he walked across the set to his desk. “Hi, everyone, and welcome to THE TONIGHT SHOW!!!” The crowd cheered again for Jimmy. “Normally we have multiple guests on this show and from 10:00 pm to 12:00am we talk to multiple guests but today is a little different, today we have a very very special guest who will be with us. the. full. show!!!” The audience was comforted by a lot of your fans since it was announced you would be the guest tonight they prepared, and as soon as they heard this immediately stood up and cheered knowing it was you he was talking about. “She is one of my favorite artists, she is the sweetest, most talented artist today. Everyone welcome…. y/n'' The crowd went crazy as you came out from behind the curtain. Seeing everyone you bowed down to the audience and waved your hands, then you took Jimmy's hand to help you up the steps to the couch next to his talk show desk and sat down again bowing your head and mouthing ‘thank you’ to the still cheering audience.

“Wow the people love you y/n'' Jimmy said. “Hahaha no, stop, Thank you all, I love you so much I don't deserve you all.” you said blushing a little from the overwhelming support. The interview started normally, Jimmy introduced you properly to the camera and audience, you spoke about yourself and answered the general questions (‘What have you been doing these days?’ ‘Tell us about your album’.... blah blah)

After a couple of questions you did a fun activity with Jimmy where you created a funny sketch similar to the ones on SNL, you followed the lines on the promter and it came out to be a really funny and light activity to interlude the show. Then after a small break you went back to your seats and continued the Q&A.

“It's crazy, y/n’s latest album is the number one album in the country and she also holds the first, second and third spots for the billboard top 100 hits. You even broke a record for this, to being the youngest and first woman to ever achieve this.” Jimmy said as you smiled and looked at the cheering crowd. “Its crazy, I never thought one day I could even hold a place in the top 100, and now I actually hold 3 places plus another 1st place for album of the country, Thank you all so much for supporting me, this would've happened if it wasn't for all of the people who supported my music, Thank you for giving my music a chance.”

“So actually the next billboard award show is tomorrow, and y/n, we heard you are going to be performing.. is that so?” Jimmy smoothly transitioned form question to question, topic from topic. “Yeah I was blessed to not only be nominated for an award but to also be invited to perform for the ceremony, I am so excited, It is an honor, it not my first time performing at the billboard’s but I have so much fun every time, hopefully the audience will like my performance and the other guest performers of the night, I can’t wait.

“What are you performing tomorrow y/n?”, “Shhh it’s a surprise Jimmy, I can give you a little spoiler, I am performing one of my new album’s songs, it is one of my favorite songs on it” You smoothly avoided actually answering what song you would be performing tomorrow. “Mhm okay how about you tell me in secret during the commercial break I have to know…” Jimmy insisted “Sure Jimmy I’ll tell you”. “Okay so guys let's go to a short commercial break, but don’t leave cause when we are back y/n will be performing live, don't you miss it!” Jimmy said and waved with you as the producer called for the commercial break. 

After the commercial break you got to perform one of your hit songs next to your back up dancers, you let yourself go to the music and enjoyed the performance; you really got lost in the music and dancing every time you had an audience, you loved this so much. After your performance you received a standing ovation form the people present on set, Jimmy went over from his seat to you, he congratulated and complimented you. He then guided you to your seat and gave you some water; he made some ads/sponsorship bits while you grabbed some air and while Meg retouched your hair and makeup while the cameras weren’t on you.

Jimmy then came back after another small break to proceed with the interview: “So y/n I actually wanted to talk to you about something really big” you made a face at Jimmy’s word choices (you had somewhat of a dirty mind) “Hahahaha, Don't make that face y/n, it's not what you think… God.. what a dirty mind you have; I meant I wanted to talk to you about something that recently happened and I’m sure everyone wants to have an update on'' Jimmy made himself clear. “Hahahaha oh, okay sure, tell me” 

“A couple of months ago you went viral on social media after you talked about BTS on one of your episodes, and your fans and ARMYs went crazy, not gonna lie even I got excited” As soon as you heard Jimmy say “BTS'' your face dropped making the audience giggle at your reaction, you started to get anxious. “Hah-, um yeah that happened, I didn't expect for it to become such a big thing tbh Jimmy” you said.

“So in the episode you got asked by one of your fans something about how you would want to meet them or something and you mentioned how you would like to meet then on a talk show… like this one” Jimmy said with a smug expression taking over his face. You quickly spoke before he could say something else “Omg Jimmy stop, I swear if I look behind this couch and BTS is hiding behind it I will have a heart attack, please don't play with me, I’m not ready, stop that''

 The crowd and Jimmy laughed at your cute panic. “Don’t worry y/n, no, I swear they are not there” Jimmy treasured. “IDK MAN, I’m gonna look behind the couch….” you dared; “Go ahead y/n” Jimmy fired back; this made you more nervous, you made a ‘I’m tough’ face at Jimmy and moved your body sideways, “If there is someone behind here I will run Jimmy, I. WILL. RUN. I don’t know where or how far but I will run out..” Jimmy and the audience laughed again and stopped as you looked behind the couch….. and…… there behind the couch…… there was…….. nothing. You started laughing as you went back to your original sitting position, the audience looking curiously at you. “Hahahaha ahhhh there is nothing there” whipping some laughing tears off the inner corner of your eyes you looked at Jimmy who was too laughing at you. “I told you y/n! ahahahah”

Jimmy looked at the camera and directed to the audience “For the people who don’t know what we are talking about and/or haven't seen y/n’s latest episode we have some clips for you” You looked at Jimmy and at the crew wanting to refuse due to your embarrassment, you felt exposed. The video played on the screen, the screen was split so that while the episode clips showed on screen your reaction could also be seen at the same time. Only a small trailer was played, which made you confused, you thought they would play the clips where you deeply talk about BTS…

The video stopped and the audience clapped, “Well that's just a small trailer of the full episode if anyone would like to go over and watch it it was pretty fun… I really enjoy ‘y/n’s camera roll’ episodes, I highly recommend” you smiled and appreciated the free proportion but you went anxious again as Jimmy spoke, “But y/n I actually have a small surprise for you, actually BTS saw your episode and reacted to it on camera…” You went stiff…. he said what???? BTS saw your video? they learned who your where?.... wait. THEY SAW THE VIDEO????? THEY SAW YOU FANGIRLING OVER THEM AND THIRSTING OVER JK AND HERD YOUR STUPID FANTASY????

 “OMG Jimmy no…. AHHH no….” You said as realization dawned on you and you covered your face with your hands.

“oh y/n yes… and we have the video of their reaction here, for the first time ever, an exclusive for the Tonight Show…. watch the screen y/n'' The screen was again split to show your reaction + the video. You lifted your face from your hands and held on to Jimmy’s hand on the desk, bracing yourself for further embarrassment and probable rejection. The video played: 

(BTS reacting to your episode. {the bullet points are your ‘present day’ reactions to BTS reacting to you})

The video started . “Oi, it’s y/n'' Jin immediately said as soon as your face appeared on their screen, “Is this a new episode?” Jimin asked out loud, “Wait what day is it? they normally go up on Friday, did we miss it?” Taehyung spoke.

“OMG no way, they know who I am, omg I’m crying Jimmy” You actually started tearing up and Jimmy squished your hands tighter as he read the subtitles added (you understood Korean).

“Hello everyone welcome to another episode of…. f** I don't even know what we call these videos, jajajaja” “Wait what?... jajajajaja omg guys thank you, I'm so sorry, yeah you heard them, welcome back to y/n’s camera roll, I can’t believe I forgot that, anyway today’s episode is a little different……” the boys chuckle at your genuine personality “hahaha gwiyeoun” (haha cute) Suga added, J-Hope agreeing with him as he gave Suga a piece of the food he was having. Kookie was currently watching the screen not even blinking, he hadn’t taken a bite out of his noodles or a sip out of his banana milk, Jimin noticed and pointed at him looking back at the guys with a silent laugh.

You kept crying and making faces reacting to them every time they spoke

“Hi, y/n, can I ask you another question?” “I saw that you liked an instagram post about BTS a while back uploaded by a fan account and I also saw that you actually follow their personal twitter account. ALSO in your behind the scenes video for your music video shoot you can be seen in the background dancing the Boy with luv choreo. So I wanted to ask if you were an ARMY and if you know them personally? and like should we be expecting a collaboration soon?”

“No way….Omg what she says she hates us” Jimin said. “Imagine if she said she hates us, is this why you guys are making us watch this?” Suga looked  at the staff.

“OMG I could never, NO omg how could I hate them” you commented wiping away your tears and back to squeezing Jimmy’s stretched hand on the desk

 “Can we keep watching hyungs…” Jungkook said looking around at the others, a bit desperate to find out what you said next. “Oi, wouldn't you want to know guki…” Jin teased him, wiggling his eyebrows and slapping the back of his head playfully. Before Jungkook could fight back RM reached over them and pressed play, preventing a ‘playful’ fight between the youngest and oldest member to take place.

You froze at the interaction between Jungkook and Jin… but kept watching not wanting to overthink it.

“OMG hahaha I love you so much, what an amazing question, Okay so first off no I don’t know them personally and sadly no plans of collaboration are on sight. Oh wow I have never been asked if I liked BTS before, I’m excited hahaha. Yeah I am an ARMY, I love them so much I am one of their biggest fans, and they are also one of my biggest inspirations when it comes to work ethic and professionalism, listening to them or watching them gives me motivation to keep doing what I love, which is this. anyway I am rambling I should stop; you guys can say y/n stop whenever I start rambling okay? hahaha''

RM stood up with hands on his head; Jin and J-Hope held on to each other with their mouths wide open looking at the screen; V was still sitting in the same spot, frozen, as if he was paused in time along with the now paused screen; Suga stood up with his hands on his mouth bouncing his knees lightly; Jimin reached to RM behind him and stretched his arms out with a ‘Did you hear that?’ expression; Jungkook leaned over the table and pulled the screen closer, he was smiling from ear to ear letting out a small “wow” under his breath, then he replayed your answer to listen to it one more time, rereading the subtitles under the video making sure he did not miss any words.

You chuckled at their individual reactions and resumed your crying at their reactions because you couldn’t believe they knew you and could be so cute towards a video of you

 “y/n Okay so, who is your favorite member?” “Well first off, I don't have a favorite member. I really mean it when I say this. I love them all equally and I love them all as a group. I don’t prefer one over the other or like one better.  I really do support them equally. I mean there is nothing wrong with having a bias, as long as you also respect the other members, hope that all made sense lol” Everyone seemed moved by your support towards them and nodded.

Again the boys reacted, they were so surprised they paused again and walked back and forth making sounds of excitement

Jimmy smiled proudly at you and helped you wipe a tear with a tissue 

“Y/n so you don’t have a favorite, but do you have a crush on any of them?, like if you could date one of them right now, which one do you pick?” A fan asked. “okay...well...Like I said just to be clear I don't have favorites amongst the group members, but I do have a type…. I consider one of them to be my celebrity crush”......“So in that case, if I had to pick someone that I would date in real life...i would say…. Jungkook” 

You put your forehead on Jimmy’s desk, you felt embarrassed, you knew what was coming, the audience was also reacting along and they got super excited at this part. You were scared over what BTS would think/say about this.

The. Guys. Went. Nuts. Jungkook immediately stood up and lifted his hands up in the air as if he had won an award, he paused the video and started smiling like crazy; 

A staff member spoke to Jungkook on the video : “How do you feel Jungkook?” He lifted his face from his hands and ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes were glossy and his smile wide. “I-I don't know what to say, I can’t believe it,” he said as he sat down looking  at the pause screen, looking at your still image. His hyungs patted him on the back; Jimin turned his head to the staff as he was rubbing JK’s back with one hand, “You know Jungook has had the biggest crush on y/n for so long now” Jimin told the staff. 

you completely froze, you started shaking, Jimmy was looking at you happily, the audience was going crazy, even the crew was invested in the k-drama worthy content. You went numb, you kept looking at the screen frozen.

Jungkook looked up and spoke to the staff: “Yeah I remember listening to her debut song for the longest time without really thinking about who the artist was. When her first studio album broke records I decided to look her up, I watched a video of her talking about the album and her experience as a new artist and I think ever since then I have had a crush on her; she is my ideal type”

Everyone was going crazy in the Tonight Show studio. EVEN Jimmy let go of you and stood up pacing around his desk, no one was expecting this. You came out of your trance as Jimmy shook you and you wiped more tears clouding your vision.

“Why is she your ideal type?” a staff member in the back asked JK. “Ha. um. well  I think my ideal type of girl is someone who is funny and has a bright and cool personality; someone who as soon as they step into a room they immediately light it up; someone who is goofy and isn't afraid to become a joke or mess up; A confident person; someone who isn't too girly or too boyish; someone who likes to learn new  things and from who I can learn new things too; someone who is younger than me; Someone who loves dancing and singing a lot, etc. And y/n is kinda all that and more tbh; 

You felt like you were dreaming… Totally forgetting you were on live television. The butterflies in your stomach felt more like birds. your heart pounding out of your chest and body glued to your seat.

The video of you time skipped again to the ‘fantasy’ answer’: “Okay so, my literal fantasy is to one day meet them at a talk show, you know how hosts like to surprise their guests with something/someone they like?, I believe Ellen has done it multiple times where she surprised a guest with their idol or celebrity crush, you know?” The group nodded, invested in your fake scenario “Well i would be invited to like the Jimmy Fallon Show, where he would just randomly surprise me with BTS. Then I would be given the opportunity to introduce myself and tell them how much I love and support them. I would also be able to show them my korean speaking skills, I learned Korean and Spanish back in school and I have never been able to actually use either them, lol, anyway...well after that we would all become really good friends, and we would collaborate and put out one or multiple songs for you guys. I mean that's basically it, I wish I could meet them, and become their friend and write songs with them, even produce songs with Suga or RM if I could'' 

you cringed at the sound of your voice, you were so embarrassed. The audience, crew and Jimmy found this and your reaction to be so adorable.

“What???? does she speak korean?” / “OMG Jungkook is she speaks korean marry her” / “OMG I wanna meet her now”  / “That's so cute” / “She is so cool” 

oMg, even after the video stopped you kept crying and sobbing, it almost felt like you had made it in life, you curled into a ball, you didn't care if you were live or not.

(end of video, camera was back to you and Jimmy only)

“y/n this is amazing, this was my first time watching the video too, how do you feel, hahahaha stop crying this is good y/n” He rubbed your hand and passed you a new tissue from his desk. You cleaned yourself up and accepted a new water bottle from a crew assistant.

“I- I’m at a loss for words Jimmy, I cannot even process it; I love them so much hahaha” You sniffed and looked at Jimmy innocently. “By the way I am so sorry for crying like this, ew I’m a mess right now, I so sorry for anyone watching” 

“No no, you are good, your fans love you and love to see the real you; right guys?” Jimmy said looking at the crowd and once again they all cheered for you, this made you happy and you smiled again. “Thank You all so much, thank you to anyone involved in the making of this reaction video and this segment of the show AND FOR WHOEVER ADDED THE SUBTITLES FOR THE STUDIO hahaha, I am so happy, I want to keep crying but I will compose myself for now and once I go home cry some more hahaha” 

“Y/N so obviously you are an ARMY, would you mind playing a small game with me?...” You nodded at Jimmy. “Okay so after the break we will be back  with y/n, and she will prove how big of an ARMY she actually is…”

Another commercial break was called, Meg again came over and cleaned you up, she fixed your hair and makeup and then made you change into some sneakers (you performed in heels), fresh sweatpants and a shirt that compliment your figure. Your manager told you that for the next segment you needed comfy clothes. You had so much in your mind right now you didn’t even question it.

“Okayyy and we are back everybody, so right now as you can see y/n has changed into a more sporty outfit, right y/n?” you looked at him and at the camera and answered back. “Yeah, i’m in my natural form now” you said as you modeled your comfy wear

“So today I will put your BTS knowledge to the test, I will play a snippet of a BTS song, to your right you have two buttons ‘dance button’ or ‘sing’ button; you can either dance to the part being played when you hit the dance button or keep singing the song if your hit the ‘sing’ button.” Jimmy challenged you as he explained the next activity, to the left of you a small table with both buttons and a mic was set up, you accepted and started the challenge; the game went like this; Dynamite, dance; Mic Drop, dance; No more dream, dance; Daechwita, sing/rap; the crowd was super hyped and Jimmy was loving your energy and the way you executed the songs perfectly, suddenly you recognized Euphoria being played, you clicked the sing button and you started to complete the lyrics as the music was switched to ‘karaoke mode’… you started to sing and suddenly you heard a voice behind you singing with you, and you couldn’t even turn around to prove yourself you were not mistaken, you knew that voice too well, the live audience was losing it, the crew looked excited, you went numb, you looked back and it seemed like a joke, a complete dream…..

The seven guys were coming out from behind the curtain, being led by Jungkook, he was singing the bridge of the song, mic in hand and just looking at you. Your knees gave out and you curled on your knees as you cried on your knees, ‘there is no way’, you could even begin to process what was going on, The boys were a little shy and stayed behind you as Jimmy lifted you from the floor and made you look at them.....

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PART 4 > HERE

AHhhh I love this part hahahhaha

Hope you liked it. PArt 4 is up; please give me a lil <3 if you liked this. :) Xx

[brotherslayer]

i like to hc (or i think it’s canon. like it was heavily implied) that athy has a mental illness..? depression i think. ( pls let me have this ok! i know it’s so cliche but i also have mdd and her character just hits me esp her reincarnation as a person in our world and she... died 😭😭😭) also i like how functional she is? like yes she has dark thoughts a lot, but she has a good facade. she is strong (i mean she’s lived under poverty, no parents AND most likely worked at customer service) works hard, and smiles and keeps doing all of it, she doesn’t want to die bc of claude. do we know if she overdosed on purpose? was it an accident? we can’t know exactly. *LONG (AND I MEAN LONG) rant ahead i tried to make it make sense and this is just my own experience i’m sure other people will see it differently. you don’t have to read this, so please skip it if you don’t want to read this! and if you did and if you’d like, tell me what you think x*

what we do know is that she opened her eyes and she’s suddenly... a pitiful princess. and you know what? she’s not having any of this. she doesn’t want to have yet another shitty life. and yes she’s tired and she keeps wondering if what she’s doing is right. if she’s making the right decisions. when it gets REALLY hard she thinks “i thought i’d finally be happy”. she’s felt so lonely, and scared, finding a real friend like jennette, i think her fear of possible death if jennette were to be noticed by claude is surpassed by her wanting an actual connection with someone. to be loved. and who better than her sister? 🥺🥺 LISTEN IM A FIRM BELIEVER WMMAP SHOULDNT HAVE ROMANCE AS A MAIN THEME (especially in the novel where everything is more fucked up, here it’s more family centered) idk why they were shoving a lucas romance so fast when my girl athy is having a breakdown. for me, she just needed a friend. i think she had finally found a healthy connection to someone. jennette is her sister. and! she loves athy unconditionally. she’s never scared of her because she knows jennette would never want to hurt her. in fact, jennette would almost die for her like twice. (talking manhwa) i wish we could have focused more on the sibling bond in this story because it does athanasia so good. and i think, it’s a parallel with ana and claude’s relationship. athanasia and jennette, they choose to love each other and i think that’s so sweet. peak writing there spoon 💓🤧

also it’s like. a really good depiction of mental illness too (even if it was maybe? unintentional bc we only see the dark thoughts a few times, when claudes in a coma, especially but that works great because it often just. lingers and that’s why ppl don’t get treated until it’s serious and more dangerous.) she’s high functioning. i can see a lot of typical behavior? for some of us it impairs us, won’t let you even get out of bed or take care of yourself. losing interest in things you liked before is common etc but for others! work and study and it’s SO hard and there’s bad thoughts and all you can do is. eat something because food doesn’t really fail ever. smile! distract yourself by doing daily tasks, etc ☠️ i hope this isn’t too tmi i don’t wanna overshare. maybe someone will relate lmao. ANYWAYS the amnesia arc, this is my favorite lucas, sort of. like you know how i’ve said before that i have a love-hate relationship with this dude. this is kinda why, i wanna elaborate 😭. because im so angry at him right now

ok so yes lucas is not great! and his relationship with athanasia is... uhh! kinda unhealthy 🥴 like i feel like athanasia clings to him because he’s literally the only person who is there, but not under normal circumstances it’s not really an effort on his part because he’s super powerful and he’s not in actual danger. so he can’t really relate to the magnitude of these events like a normal person would. he thinks blowing things up is gonna solve their problems (that’s not problem solving lucas) when something traumatic happens lucas is put there so we associate security to him. you also said that he’s been a victim of abuse. so i can understand why things are happening like this (i’m not happy about it though they could have written something better😔) it’s sort of like clinging to people who show you the bare minimum of what is kindness because well. you’re scared of loneliness perhaps. or, you aren’t used to others being kind to you, and it feels nice. this can make some mentally ill people easy to manipulate, AND it can make others too clingy or controlling. i see it something like that. maybe in my case i like him bc of this? ☠️ i’m speaking from experience here

maybe athy has associated security with lucas. sense of security and the few instances where he’s kind, bc he’s bitch shaped, in the middle of all of the uncertainty. it’s not the best support someone could be giving and he’s definitely not a good person, but no one (jennette should but also we know they’re pushing for lucas/athanasia interactions so they just won’t let her be there with athy ugh 😩) else is there when athanasia is having these traumatic experiences (again probably doing this on purpose and it DOES sound manipulative doesn’t it? not lucas, the writing). i was actually expecting character development for lucas bc of the amnesia arc.

i finally saw him caught off guard for once, because athanasia is actively having “dark thoughts” (i’m calling them that but i really mean suicidal this is where i get the idea she did kill herself), and he didn’t want to show her the world tree branch because he’s scared she will die, that she will “leave him”. he cares for her but it’s a little more on the unhealthy side bc they’re both mentally ill. moving on. he also shows her the tree branch because hes scared she is feeling hopeless (very depressed). sure it hurts but if it means she stays alive, he will try to aid her if it makes her feel better. when he sees her like this, he relents and shows her it. the tree tells her of this method to cure her dad, and he gets angry because it will put her in danger and it’s uncertain that it will actually work. see, this is where i actually liked lucas. helping claude isn’t possible for him. in contrast to how he talks about aeternitas being weak, and being out of touch because well he’s THE wizard. this is one of the few things that he cannot do, so he is sort of in the same place as athy right now. a feeling of helplessness? he can’t do anything, as powerful as he is, to cure her father. and you know? it’s nice. i wish he had stayed like this.

if they hadn’t made him so powerful i would have actually preferred him more as a love interest. it’s really difficult to connect to him because he is almost invincible most of the time, except for in the amnesia arc. before and after this time period, he is more cocky and so sure of himself, it’s like he can’t bring himself to feel empathy for others. so when i saw him be sensitive and unsure i wanted him to keep going on this path of becoming a better person, a better friend for athy, and realizing that he’s not all powerful. just because someone is mentally ill doesn’t excuse being a jerk, and two mentally ill people being in a relationship doesn’t mean that the relationship has to be toxic! but there’s steps in order for it to work and so they don’t sink together... athy and him could have actually helped each other (i’m not saying fix each other here, that’s not how it works) if he could just open up and be vulnerable, ack if they didn’t try to paint him as the usual love interest all the time. same as her! i want her to talk about her trauma and her problems to someone so bad, lucas knows she reincarnated, but they don’t talk about it. unfortunately the narrative is pushing the typical shoujo josei approach which has toxic gender roles and its so boring 😔😔 the incredibly strong and possessive ml and a weaker fl who needs help. right now i dislike lucas a lot, aack like really... he’s gone back to being inconsiderate and a bitch. hate it here

the only other person i know of that helped athy was my boy kiel, but! this child did have a lot to risk, in contrast. by running after athy he’s going against not only his own family but against claude which means sort of... certain death for him. he’s ACTUALLY contributing to this relationship by sacrificing things, putting effort in order to help her. hell, falling in love with her was probably one of his first choices. something that is “him”. it’s struggling if you’re a normal human person. again, we could have kiel and jennette to balance out the lucas and claude interactions but they are REALLY pushing for a lucas thing here bc he’s the novel’s love interest so they will reduce kiel to a second thought when i really think, even if he isn’t an all powerful wizard, that he could offer better support to athanasia and relate more to her than, well, most characters would, and in a healthy way. he would be more sensitive and would comfort her, not saying that they could simply solve it by destroying things but actually telling her, that yes, she’s right, that’s a very difficult situation and she shouldn’t have to go through that. he would not be able to fully understand but he’d try to help her in any way possible. because he was always on her side. it’s honestly great. there’s probably symbolism in there but i’m too stupid to notice. something about changing your fate. there’s certainly parallels between athy and kiel because they’re both changing the future. making choices for THEM. choosing to follow happiness. 🧍something like that someone will probably say it better than i ever will. 👉👈

and last, but not least, i wanted to talk about claude. it’s a similar situation with claude and lucas. he’s the only father athanasia ever had (unfortunately) and any fatherly love athy ever received is from him even if this dude REALLY needs to stop projecting and being violent and distant there’s so many things wrong with claude and he’s so complex. i enjoy his character but he’s a horrible father. at least he’s trying now unlike a certain black cat with red eyes instead of green ones. athanasia actually confronts him... anyways. mental illnesses are often hereditary (i’m not opening MY can of worms though but it runs in the family) we see how VERY unhealthy family dynamics have traumatized the obelian royal family for generations (aka intergenerational trauma babeyyy 🗣😩☠️) and it finally culminates in ana being possessed by aety, in claude becoming a tyrant, in him executing athanasia, and jennette unintentionally making him worse. aeternitas takes over the throne and well. it’s kinda the end of the empire lol.

we can see how this environment affects athanasia, in the first timeline especially, it is a reflection of her life the second time around, and the third time again. sure, she didn’t exactly inherit claude’s alcoholism (i’d recommend she doesn’t risk it though. stay away from alcohol) or violent behavior, BUT she is definitely suffering from a mental illness (like most obelian royalty) and she has also adopted the tendency of drowning herself in work just like he does. and she’s a little desensitized to the violence. it’s a bit of a softer blow because she didn’t internalize it as much as if she had been a baby, being an adult in a child’s body. but it’s still there. and claude got the most of it, a lot more than anastacius did. being an illegitimate child, etc. the person who got away from all of this mess and broke the cycle of abuse is jennette. she was raised in the alpheus manor and we can’t say roger is the best father because he has a lot of flaws. he’s using jennette and pushing ijekiel to be the next head, and probably instilling the wrong ideas in both of them since they were children. he’s put them both in danger with their greed. however, that will always be better than living in the palace. jennette has been affected by the way she was raised but in a very different way than she ever would have had she lived in the palace. ana will not be the best father either, but he hasn’t been in claude’s position who was most subjected to trauma in that same place than anastacius ever was. so he’s not on his level of fucked up, fortunately jennette will be ok with him.

i think jennette and ijekiel should have stayed closer to athanasia and they have a lot more importance than many people give them credit for. it’s a breath of fresh air from everything heavy that happens around her. hell, not even lucas was free from abuse and he has a lot of issues stemming from abandonment etc. they’re sort of the healthiest bonds athanasia has and she NEEDS those! she really does. i think i’ve talked too much already, 😭 idk what it’s supposed to be. analysis? rant? being angry that there’s SO much potential for more themes because the word building is simply incredible? so i’ll leave it here. thanks for listening and if you’ve read until here! don’t wanna force you to answer or anything. and sorry for clogging ur inbox

Headcanon accepted! I like to hc LP Athy to have an Avoidant Personality Disorder & depression. This is probably contradicted by canon since Lithium said LP Athy crying was so out of the character that even Claude was suprised by her breakdown but since it's the only panels where she has dialogue I imagine her to be similar to Hilise Inoaden in her first life: cries easily but only at night when she's alone by herself, hypersensitive, feels unsafe in big crowds or when alone with strangers, clings to every gesture that can be interpreted as kindness, tendency to excuse the actions of the people she cares about (really how has she not lost hope for Claude in those 18 years of her life facing his rejection and the noblility's mockery?).

Talking about mental illnesses being heredity, baby Claude could have also ended up with an Avoidant Personality disorder if he hadn't freezed his heart, I think. But now I hc him with an Antisocial Personality Disorder, Like Lucas.

But I don't think wmmap is good representation of mental illness. You could argue that Lucas' and Claude's "psychopathic/sociopathic" tendancies are mainly caused by dark magic and not their childhood trauma. Like even though Claude seems to have ASPD, baby Claude never showed signs of a conduct disorder. I know this isn't a must but still. Athy's trauma only gets bought up when spoon needs to stirr drama between her and Claude. It doesn't really impair her much in her everyday life. There isn't a day where she has a hard time getting out of bed or a day where she tries pursuing her hobbies but nothing brings her joy anymore. She still manages to be productive. She had no problems to interact with strangers and blend in with the tea party girl's in high society, even though their mother's betrayed her later and some of them surely did the same in the first timeline (ignoring Athy in favour of Jennette), yet she doesn't really harbour any resentment against the noble's that harmed her in her first life.

[smells-like-mettaton]

Perhaps #5 (Hold my Hand) with Papyton for the fic ask game if you are still doing it?

(I hope you're okay with me writing this as a sequel to one of my other papyton fics! This could still be read on its own, but it will make more sense if you read the first chapter. If you don't want to, just know that the part in italics at the beginning is from a fanfic that Alphys wrote.)

The Greatest Fanfiction of All: The Sequel

Rating: T Word Count: 1687 Read on AO3: here

---

Papyrus’s hands are warm. Of course they are. Theyre always covered in gloves. Not even Mettaton, his boyfriend of one month and thirteen days, knows what his bony phalanges look like beneath the plush red fabric.

But tonight, that's going to change.

xxx

Exactly one month and thirteen days had passed since Mettaton had read the beginning of Alphys’s “papyton” fanfiction. It also happened to be one month and thirteen days since Papyrus had agreed to be his boyfriend, sending him on a magical journey of love and romance.

That journey had given him plenty of new perspectives and discoveries. Yet the mystery of what lie under Papryus’s gloves was not one of them.

He sat next to Mettaton on their usual bench at the center of the hedge maze. The sky was dark with stormclouds, which kept any stray spectators away from the park. Papyrus was prepared, as usual; a tall MTT-Brand Umbrella leaned against his femur. Nothing and no one would ruin this moment.

Now Mettaton just needed to have the moment. Preferably without resorting to calling Alphys and Frisk again.

“METTATON? IS SOMETHING THE MATTER?” Papyrus asked, his browbone furrowing in concern.

Mettaton’s fingers were already laced through his; Mettaton rubbed his thumb against the back of Papyrus’s glove.

“Well. It is a very special day, darling.” Special enough that Mettaton had worn the outfit Papyrus loved most—a cropped shirt that said COOL ROBOT and galaxy-print leggings that hugged his metallic thighs. Papyrus himself had worn a bright Tetris shirt and shorts that exposed his gleaming femurs.

“IT IS?” Papyrus blinked. “IS THERE A SALE ON RIGATONI? BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT STARTED NEXT WEEK.”

“Hm? Oh—not that I know of, but I will keep that in mind.” He imagined creating a pasta bouquet for Papyrus, and a smile graced his lips. “Today is the one month and thirteen day anniversary of our glamorous romance.”

“WOWIE! TIME FLIES WHEN YOU’RE DATING A HOT ROBOT!” Papyrus grinned, pressing his teeth to Mettaton’s cheek in a close approximation of a kiss. “HAPPY ONE MONTH AND THIRTEEN DAYS, METTATON! IS THERE A SPECIAL WAY YOU WANT TO CELEBRATE?”

It was perfect. Mettaton couldn’t have set it up better if he tried.

“Actually…” He turned Papyrus’s hand over, examining every seam and stitch in his crimson glove. “I was hoping to see your hands. I know they’re just as handsome as the rest of you.”

He winked, and a light blush spread across Papyrus’s cheekbones.

“MY HANDS? I’D GLOVE TO! BUT, ERM…” His fingers disentangled from Mettatons, instead fidgeting nervously with the hem of his right glove. “I DON’T KNOW THAT YOU WOULD FIND THEM AS UNBEARABLY ATTRACTIVE AS THE REST OF ME.”

Coming from Papyrus, that was practically a statement of self-loathing. Guilt bubbled in Mettaton’s soul-tank.

“Beautiful.” He grasped the top of his boyfriend’s arms and squeezed them gently. “There is not a bone in your body that I would not find attractive. Of course, I will not ask you to perform if you are suffering stage fright, but I do think you shine so much brighter in the light.”

Papyrus smiled a little, though his browbone was still turned upward with worry.

"IF YOU'RE SURE…"

"Positive as my ratings, darling."

Papyrus nodded slowly. "I TRUST YOU, METTATON."

Those words were like ambrosia to Mettaton's soul. He would do anything to remain worthy of his boyfriend's trust.

"PLEASE, JUST… DON'T BE FRIGHTENED, ALRIGHT?"

Mettaton couldn't imagine anything about Papyrus being frightening.

Then, with agonizing care, Papyrus peeled off his gloves. And Mettaton understood.

The bones of his hands were scorched an ashen gray, nearly black. Hairline cracks laced through them like spiderwebs. Mettaton was half afraid that if he touched them, they would crumble to dust.

"I'M FINE, REALLY!" Papyrus must have noticed the look on his face, no matter how quickly Mettaton had schooled his expression. "THESE BURNS ARE SO OLD, I BARELY NOTICE THEY'RE THERE!"

His grin was strained. Mettaton wanted nothing more than to reach out and squeeze his hand, but he didn't dare.

"They don't hurt?" Mettaton asked, then winced. He could've phrased that more tactfully. It was probably better than asking how on earth the injury had happened, at least.

"WELL… THEY ARE A BIT SENSITIVE WITHOUT MY GLOVES. THEY HAVE HEALING MAGIC, YOU SEE." Papyrus held out one of his red gloves, his expression turning to one of pride. "SANS DID THE SEWING, AND I DID THE ENCHANTMENT."

"No wonder you love them so much." Mettaton smiled. It was adorable how much Papyrus loved his brother. Their love had inspired Mettaton to finally patch up his relationship with Blooky and Mew Mew.

Papyrus smiled back, running a charred fingertip fondly over the fabric. "WOULD YOU… LIKE TO TRY ONE ON?"

"Me?" Mettaton blinked.

"OF COURSE! WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO EXPERIENCE THE GREAT PAPYRUS'S LEGENDARY HEALING MAGIC FIRSTHAND?"

Mettaton chuckled at the pun. "How could I possibly refuse?"

He slipped off his white gloves, revealing the unsightly bolts in his own fingers. He hardly felt self-conscious about that after seeing Papyrus's hands, though.

Papyrus's glove fit like a dream. Like holding his hand, only from the inside. Warmth seeped from the fabric into his metal joints, slipping through his cracks like sweet oil.

"This is… quite the enchantment," he breathed.

Papyrus couldn’t be in pain with that much healing magic caressing his bones. But on the other hand, even the constant healing magic had failed to permanently erase the scars. Mettaton still wasn’t too familiar with physical injuries, but surely that wasn’t normal, right?

Papyrus’s wink sounded like magical glitter."WHAT CAN I SAY? I'M VERY ENCHANTING."

He looked just as bright as ever. Just as energetic, as full of life.

Just as beautiful, inside and out.

"That you are, darling." Mettaton kissed his cheek.

Papyrus pulled his left glove back onto his hand, then twined his fingers with Mettaton's. Red on red, warmth on warmth Their hands matched perfectly.

"YOU PROBABLY HAVE SOME QUESTIONS," Papyrus said quietly.

Mettaton's eye flickered to Papyrus's bare right hand before returning to his eyesockets.

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't feel comfortable with, darling."

Mettaton was curious of course. If this injury had been caused by another monster, they would face the wrath of a true killer robot. Knowing Papyrus, though, he had probably forgiven whoever was responsible.

"I ALWAYS FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH YOU." He smiled. "AND IT IS… NICE. TO HAVE SOMEONE BESIDES SANS KNOW THIS."

"No one else knows?" Mettaton’s eyes widened. He'd thought Undyne would have found out, whether Papyrus told her on purpose or she burned off his gloves during one of their cooking lessons.

"I AM A SKELETON OF MANY SECRETS." Papyrus winked again. This time it sounded like tinkling bells. "IT HELPS THAT NO ONE ELSE REMEMBERS THE ACCIDENT, THOUGH."

An accident. No one had hurt Papyrus on purpose.

Mettaton sighed in relief, powering down his killer robot protocols.

"I WAS HELPING MY DAD WITH HIS WORK ON THE CORE. I ALWAYS CALIBRATED THE PUZZLES WHILE HE CALIBRATED THE GEOTHERMAL POWER LEVELS."

Papyrus looked down at their tangled hands, his expression distant.

"I STILL DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. ON THE DAYS SANS REMEMBERS, HE PROMISES THAT IT WASN'T MY FAULT. THAT DAD WAS TOO CARELESS. BUT THERE WAS AN EXPLOSION, AND DAD, HE… HE FELL…"

Something in Mettaton crushed as Papyrus's voice cracked.

"I WAS LUCKIER. THE BLAST ONLY GOT MY HANDS." The smile returned.

"Papyrus…"

Mettaton didn't know what to say. What could he say? Ghosts didn't have parents. His cousins were his family, but he couldn't imagine them dying, either. Blooky physically couldn't.

But this wasn't about him! It was about Papyrus, who had lost his father and scarred his hands and still counted himself lucky.

"DON'T BE SAD, METTATON. IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. LONGER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE."

Papyrus looked into his eyes, and for a moment, Mettaton saw something old. Mettaton had been alive—albeit as a ghost—for nearly two centuries. Right now, though, Mettaton wondered if Papyrus was even older than that.

"I suppose so,” he reluctantly admitted. “I don't even remember an explosion at the CORE."

"OH, THAT'S NORMAL. APPARENTLY DAD WAS RATHER FORGETTABLE." His smile was sad. "EVEN SANS DOESN'T ALWAYS REMEMBER HIM. BUT I… WELL."

He closed his blackened fist.

"IT WOULD BE DIFFICULT TO FORGET."

Mettaton opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Luckily, it didn’t seem like Papyrus was looking for a response.

“WHEW! ALL THIS HONESTY IS EXHAUSTING!!” Sweat beaded on his skull. “DO YOU WANT TO GO GET NICE CREAMS?”

“Of course, darling, but—are you sure that you’re okay?” Mettaton couldn’t help the concern in his voice. It wasn’t every day that he unlocked his boyfriend’s tragic backstory.

And here he’d been so concerned about something as trivial as holding hands. He truly was as selfish as everyone believed.

“PLEASE, DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME,” Papyrus said firmly. His hand gave Mettaton’s a tight squeeze. “I MEANT IT WHEN I SAID IT WAS LONG AGO. PRACTICALLY A DIFFERENT LIFETIME. I ONLY TOLD YOU SO THAT YOU WOULD KNOW HOW MUCH I TRUST YOU.”

Trust. Mettaton trusted Papyrus, too. Trusted that he didn’t need Mettaton to coddle him. Trusted that if he wanted Mettaton’s help, he would ask for it.

“I… thank you, darling.” Ghostly tears welled in his eyes. “Your trust means everything to me.”

“WELL THEN!” Papyrus’s grin turned mischievous. “I TRUST YOU TO KISS ME UNTIL I CAN’T BREATHE!”

Mettaton’s fans whirred and whirred. The sound was quickly drowned out by the raindrops that began to fall and fizzle on his shoulder pads.

“Darling, you’re a skeleton. You don’t have lungs.”

“NEITHER DO YOU.” Papyrus twirled the umbrella before popping it open, protecting Mettaton from the threat of short-circuiting.

(From the rain, at least.)

“You truly know how to give me a challenge, darling.” Mettaton cuddled closer, reaching up to brush his red-gloved hand against Papyrus’s cheekbone.

“ONLY BECAUSE I KNOW YOU’LL RISE TO IT!”

Mettaton grinned back, and that was exactly what he did.