#on every level but physical I am screaming and clawing the walls today

[isfjmel-phleg]

🖇️

[giant-sketches]

Happy birthday @gentlegiantdreamer!!!  You are such a wonderful and inspiring person to me and I hold you dear to my heart! So for your birthday I made you this art and wrote you a little story to go along with it. I wish you a day full of fun and love! There is also a speedpaint!

I hope you can feel the effort I put into this and long hours of work too. I hope you and everyone enjoys my interpretations of Lilypadton and enjoy the story. Disclaimer: Almost Drowning/Cussing/Pain/Shouting/Monster Transformations

Word Count: 1746

At the start Patton was very active after his first transformation as Lilypadton. That may have been due to him going about the day believing it was a one time deal, but that wasn’t the case. From time to time the other sides would catch glimpses of his skin turning green around his hands and dark patches appearing on his neck. However, whenever the subject was brought up with the moral side he’d brush it off as a trick of the light or some kind of baking material he missed in his clean up. They all knew better though, especially his boyfriends Janus and Virgil.

“We need to go talk to him….TODAY!” Janus was pacing around Virgil’s room with his arms crossed, expressing his impatience with his partner.

Virgil thought it best to give Patton space, but his changes were becoming more frequent. Now things were even worse as their cutie had locked himself in his room for the past two days.

“I know you wanted to give him space, but now he’s trapped himself in his room. We’re the only ones on this side of the mindscape that can help him through this.” Janus hissed and cursed himself for not doing something sooner.

“Please calm down Jan.” Virgil got up from his bed to hold his boyfriend. “It’s going to be alright. Let’s go see him now and tell him about what’s happening to him.” He paused in thought. “Though, I never thought we’d ever have this kind of discussion with him honestly. To think he was like us this whole time.”

Janus touched his scaled face and looked at Virgil with soft eyes. “Are you going to show him? You know how h-” “Yeah I know...but I have to. It wouldn’t be fair for me to hide it when he’s going through something ten times worse.” Janus kissed Virgil’s cheek to reassure him.

Both left the room and slowly made their way to Patton’s door. Virgil tried the door knob, still locked. “Patton? Sweetpea we’ve come here to see how you are doing. Can you let us in, please?” Silence...no wait there was some kind of groaning sound coming from behind the door. “G-go away…” Was that Patton just now? It sounded like he was gurgling water while trying to speak.

“We can’t do that! We have something important to talk-or show you!” Janus looked to Virgil nervously. The former dark side nodded his head as Jan’s nails grew out to a point and sliced the doorknob off. “Excuse the intrusion.”

Both stepped into a darkened and rather humid room. Thankfully, both of them could see in the dark. In the corner they spotted Patton curled up and shaking, facing the wall. He visibly showed signs of changing with his green tinted skin and dark patches all over his arms and neck. “Pat?”

Startled, Patton sprang to his feet and turned to face them. They gasped at how their little buddy appeared taller now, his eyes now distinctly like a frog’s, and his hair showed faded tips of green. His eyes were filled with tears as he had to look down at his friends. He felt like a monster!

“No, no please….you have to LEAVE!” Patton’s voice croaked and boomed as he shot up another 10 feet and banged his head on the ceiling with a loud thunk. He groaned as he fell to his hands. The tears intensified as water seeped from the cracks in the wall and began flooding the room.

“Shit! Hold on to me!” Virgil clung to Janus for dear life as they quickly rose to the ceiling with the increasing water level. Patton was down below still weeping and expanding. His form pressing up against every nook and cranny of his tiny room. “Patton! Patton please! You need to stop crying or we’re going to- gurrglrrglr”

Time was up. The water had now completely filled the room as Janus and Virgil started sinking. Luckily, their froggy friend heard their pleas and snapped out of his distress. Quickly he expanded the room, changing it’s form as he scooped up the two tenderly in his webbed hands. With a kick of his strong legs Pat breached the surface. The room was now a large pond with only a small island in the center. The sun was warm and there was the sound of life all around them, but this was no time to relax.

“Virgil? Janus? Oh my gosh please, you have to be okay kiddos! Please!” Patton begged for his sweethearts to be okay as he set them on the soft grass. He poked at their stomachs as gently as he could.

*Cough* *Cough*

Oh thank goodness! Both were hacking up small volumes of water as they gasped for air, sweet-sweet air! “Patton?” Their vision was foggy from nearly drowning as they tried to focus on the green blob in front of them. Virgil raised up his arms, “A-are you okay?”

“What do you mean am I okay?! Are you okay? You two almost drowned b-because of me!” The big softie was on the verge of tears once again as he leaned in to nuzzle his dark darling with his nose.

“Woah...how big are you Patty?” Virgil giggled. He definitely wasn’t expecting to be cuddled by a gentle green snout of all things. “We’re okay Pat. Just a bit out of breath and-” Janus shivered, he had gotten too cold.

Virgil noticed as he escaped from Patton’s schnoz and immediately started cuddling up to his scaly boyfriend to warm him up. Pat climbed up onto the island, but at his current size of 100 feet he covered the majority of it as he scooped them up in his hand to hold them both closer to the sun. Jan was thankful for this as he hissed happily. His cold blood started to run warm again.

“Thank you darling! The numbness is fading now.” He lifted himself up to look at Patton with a warm expression. “Wow, look at you Pat.” “Yeah, Mr. Green right here.” They both joked to cut the tension. Patton laughed along with them as the ground shook, causing ripples in the water. His size really was something to behold. Still, their joy was cut short, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have bottled up my emotions like that and hidden away. You two could have gotten seriously hurt.”

“Oh Patty! We understand…w-we have something to tell you.” Virgil looked to Janus hoping he would start. “That’s right Patton, Virgil and I have both gone through what you’re experiencing right now. Okay, maybe not the exact same thing, but something similar.”

Patton was surprised. “W-what do you mean?” Janus smiled flashing his fangs, “I’m sure you’ve already noticed my face, but have you ever wondered why it looks like this?” Pat shook his head, he always thought it’d be taboo to ask about. “It’s because of my monster side.”

Monster side?! What was that? Patton was obviously confused as Virgil spoke up, “Mhm...Janus, Remus, and I...we all have a monster side to us. Janus doesn’t hide his like I do though and Remus is always shifting so it just seems ‘normal’ for him. It was a huge surprise when yours was revealed. Honestly, I never thought you’d be like us Pat.” Virg was feeling anxious as he kept his head down while talking.

“B-but you’ve never looked like Janus at all Stormcloud. What does your monster side look like?” Damn...that was a question he really wanted to avoid. “Guess there’s no use hiding it anymore huh? B-before I show you, you have to promise me you won’t freak out...okay Pat?”

Virgil looked so serious as he stared at Patton. What was he so worried about? “Awe kiddo, you know I’d never be scared of you! I love you too much!” He beamed a smile that put the sun to shame at them as Virgil sighed feeling a bit more relieved. “Alright.”

Concentrating, he closed his eyes as eight pitch black spider legs spread out from his back starting from the spine. He winced in pain, it’d been a long time since he last transformed. A pair of sharp mandibles poked out from the corners of his mouth; four slits opened up underneath his cheeks in pairs, each containing a solid black eye with a hint of purple.

“Aaaahhhh!!!” Suddenly, Virgil screamed lightly in pain as the transformation came to end with his new set of fangs and claws growing to a point. Janus caught him as he slumped over, huffing from exhaustion. Weakly, he looked up to Patton trying his best to smile.

Patton was mortified as he watched Virgil writhe in pain in his hand. When it all finally came to an end he was looking eyes wide at a big black spider...fuck! His heart was racing as he tried to not physically throw his boyfriend into the pond. Wait! That’s right this was his little sweetie, his Stormcloud, Prince of Darkness, etc. There was no need to be so scared...he gulped as he reached down to stroke his loves face.

Oh! He was still so soft and honestly his spider legs kind of tickled. The fear in his heart dissolved instantly. Patton giggled at how nervous he was only moments ago as he pressed them both to his cheek. “So I’m not alone after all.”

God, Virgil was instantly healed by his Sweetpea’s warmth. He hugged into the green flesh happily. “Of course not Patton, we’ll both always be here for you!”

“I’m so happy right now! You two are the best boyfriends in the whole wide world!!!”

Patton slid into the pond once more as he laid on his back. He kissed his cuties to his plush lips and then placed them right on top of his chest as he floated along the water. All the while they laughed and smiled at their giant lovers' touch.

“This new form is scary, but at long as I have you two I think I’ll be okay.”

“We love you Patton and we’ll always love you no matter what you are.”

The couple laid on Pat’s chest as tiny frogs hopped up from the lily pads to play with them as they enjoyed their time together. All content in knowing that each of them had a little cute monster inside of them that made them special.

[aphasene]

The Commander's Neice A Levi x reader fanfiction

Chapter four

“Look what I did Mother!” I yell from the kitchen table, holding up the book of pressed flowers.

“Oh, wow Honey, that’s great!” Mother claps her hands.

“That’s Really amazing Kiddo.” Father ruffles my hair as he steps in through the door, his uniform covered in dirt.

“Hank!” Mother says, bringing her hand up to his jacket. “What happened?”

“Oh, the usual.” He brushes it off as if it’s no big deal.

“For goodness sake Hank.” Mother pinches the bridge off her nose. “You need to learn to stand up to the general public.”

“I do, but it’s a tad difficult when your superiors tell you to grin and bear what ever they throw at you, even if it is physical dirt.”

“Honestly, people are so cruel to the MPs.” Mother rolls her eyes.

“With good reason.” Father replies. “I’ve seen the way they think and it’s disgusting.”

“Father-.”

I’m cut off by a sharp knock on the door.

“Who could that be?” Mother says, walking to the door. with a click she opens it. “Hello, what-?”

All three of us are cut off my mother stumbling and falling onto her back.

“Huh-?”

I look over the table at the now still silhouette of my fallen mother, gushing blood from her chest.

“No, she couldn’t-.”

Father grabs me by the arm and pulls me close to his side as we look at my mother’s killer. My breaths are sharp and shallow. He doesn’t bother to ask another question, we step back, allowing a safe distance between the two of us.

Then the memory fades.

We stand in a line on top of wall Maria, the stench of sweat and smoke, thick.

I look over at my squad; Marco, Jean, Reiner and Bertoldt. We fasten our gear into place, the leather pinching at the skin.

“You gonna be alright?” I hear Eren say from behind, I whip around to see the three of them beside each other. They wear worried expressions, even Mikasa who never seemed to warrant any kind of expression.

“Alright? Of course, I’m gonna be alright. When was the last time I wasn’t alright?”

“She has a point.” Armin shrugs. “I still can’t quite believe this is happening.” The last part had a tinge of fear.

He has a point, less than five years ago; we were safely house within the confines of Shiganshina where our biggest worry was how much we were going to have to eat that week, or where to get the best firewood.

It’s funny, but less than five years ago, I wouldn’t have even dreamed of joining the corps, but now here I am seconds away from risking my life for humanity. I can’t decide whether that makes me brave or foolish.

Maybe a bit of both.

“We’ve got this, guys.” I say as confidently as I possibly can. “I mean, it’s just like training right? Except, instead of wooden cut outs, we’re fighting moving targets.”

“Yeah, moving targets who’ll devour us if we make one wrong move.” Armin says morbidly.

“Well, that’s true but at least we know what we’re doing.”

“Not exactly.” Mikasa Lectures. “We’ve only been at it for one day, the chances of us surviving this with the level of skill we have is unlikely.”

My heart drops. She was right. I barely knew how to use the blades, let alone slay an actual titan. What would that mean for us? I’m not ready to slay anything yet, I just wanted at least one more week.

“Mikasa’s right.” Armin trembles. “There’s no way we can make it out of this. They wanted soldiers, no matter what level of skill, just as many soldiers as possible.”

“So, does that mean-?”

“Of course not!” Eren snaps through our tension. “I’m going to kill every last titan on this planet until there’s none left.”

“I like your…optimism Eren.” I place a hand on his shoulder. “But, what have we got going for us?”

“That’s why we’re not going to die, got it?” Eren grabs me by the shoulders, pinning his gaze on me.

“That’s very optimistic of you, Eren.” Mikasa says calmly.

I look over at the rest of my squad who stand side by side at the edge of the wall, looks like that’s my que.

“Please don’t die, that goes to all of you.” I raise an eyebrow. “And for the love of god, please keep Eren from doing anything stupid. I don’t want him to be crushed by a falling building or devoured by a titan because he dropped one of his blades.”

“Will do.” A smile tugs at Mikasa’s lips. “The same goes to you as well.”

I trot over to my squad, squeezing between Marco and Reiner. I look down at the town below us, the place crawling with titans. Their movements are scarily human like, walking on two legs as if they’re regular people going on with their day to day life. It sends a spark of dread through me.

“Awful, isn’t it?” Reiner scowls, looking over the wall.

Marco and I crane our necks at the blonde. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Reiner smile since we got here, he spent most of his time with Bertoldt, it was like they were inseparable.

“What are the chances of us trainees surviving this?” I ask, my voice wavering.

“Not likely.” Reiner replies. “We’ve been training for barely twenty-four hours, we don’t know how to properly kill a titan.”

“Don’t be like that.” Marco sighs. “Being pessimistic won’t get you anywhere in life.”

“That’s not true; I’m either right or pleasantly surprised.”

“That’s a very optimistic way of looking at pessimism.” I reply.

“Whatever happens, at least we’re doing our bit for humanity.” Bertoldt says absentmindedly.

“True.” I say, “But I don’t know about you guys; but I’d like to live to see tomorrow. So, I’d appreciate it if we’re a little more light hearted about the situation.”

“Right cadets!” We hear a loud, yet raspy voice booms. We look over to see a garrison solder stride over to us. “Are you ready for the most important moment of your life?”

“Commander Pixis!” Reiner straightens up.

“He’s a commander?” I whisper to Marco.

“Oh yes, they say he’s a little odd, but he’s very good at what he does.”

“Sir, with all due respect: what are you doing here?” Bertoldt asks.

“Commander Erwin Cannot make it today, he’s been called elsewhere. He sends his apologies.”

“Not being funny, but as the commander of the scouts, he should be here.” I mutter.

“Everything’s ready, we’re just waiting for the signal.” Pixis strolls across the wall.

My heart leaps in my throat. I can feel the second hand fear from everyone else. I’m not quite sure what I expected when I signed up, but it definitely wasn’t this.

A shoot of gas jolts through my ears. My head snaps to the side to see a green flash in the sky.

This must be it.

“Okay troops, on my signal.” Pixis draws his blade.

I draw my blade, my fingers run down the flat part of the metal. Every second that seems to pass feels like a minute. My breath quickens as I watch as the titans move closer to the wall. They’ve spotted us!

“To war!” Was all commander Pixis had to say before we leap off the wall, I glide to a nearby roof, followed by Marco who perches on a chimney.

“What do we do now?” Marco panics.

“We survive.” I say simply. “We’re not going to be much use to humanity if we’re dead.”

“You have a point there, but how can we survive when we barely know how to kill a titan.”

“It’s can’t be that hard.” I shrug. “All we have to do is watch someone else do it.”

I look up to see what seems to be one of our soldiers. They advance to a nearby titan and slice the back of its neck, the titan falls to the ground with a crash. I stumble back in awe.

“So, that’s how you do it.” I say looking over my shoulder.

“(Y/N), don’t you think we should find our squad?” Marco asks. “They went off without us.”

“I expect they’ll find us.” I reply. “I kind of don’t want to leave.”

“I’m going to look for them. I’ll bring them back here when I find them, okay?”

I nod. “Thank you, Marco. Stay safe.” I Step forward, wrapping my arms around his torso, bringing him into a tight hug, which he gladly reciprocates.

“You too, (Y/N).” And with that, he steps over to the edge of the roof and glides off.

I lean against the chimney carving a nearby brick into something with my blade. I wonder what Eren, Mikasa and Armin are doing. Are they still alive? I look down to my pendant. Who could my ‘distant relative’ could be? I know that it’s someone from the corps. Mind you, in don’t think I’ve ever properly met anyone from the corps yet.

I’m snapped back into reality, by a very familiar scream. I jump to my feet peering over the side of the roof.

Sure enough, I see Reiner gripped in the clutches of one of those beasts.

“Reiner!” I scream out to him.

“(Y/N)! Oh my god (Y/N)! I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see someone in my life.”

I leap to the other roof, the chords pulling me along. The titan clocks me and reaches out for me with its free hand, I narrowly miss the swipe and push my self to the back of its neck and slice with all my might. The titan falls to the ground along with Reiner.

I glide down to his side, prying him out of the fallen monster’s claws.

“I think I saw my life flash before my eyes.” Reiner says, his eyebrows knit together.

“Marco went off, looking for you and Bertoldt. Have you seen him?”

Reiner swallows, from what I can only assume is fear. “No. he hasn’t shown up yet.”

“That’s strange. I would’ve thought he’d have found you by now. You were pretty close.” My eyes widen. “You don’t think he’s got himself killed, do you?”

“Come on now.” Reiner chuckles nervously. “He may be a trainee, but his good at what he does. I’m sure he hasn’t died. He wouldn’t do something as foolish as that.”

“Perhaps you’re right.” I wipe away the slight tears from my eyes. “Where’s Bertoldt?”

“I don’t know. He went off north from here and I don’t know where he went.”

“Well, that’s just fantastic.” I sigh, “Our entire squad is in shambles and if we can find them; we aren’t going to stand a chance.”

“Okay, I have a plan.” There’s a small piece of glass that seemed to have come from a mirror. Reiner snaps it in half and gives one to me.

“Okay, you look for Marco and I’ll look for Bertoldt. When one of us finds them, we shine it and the other will come find it. Deal?”

I nod, taking the piece of glass and putting it in my breast pocket.

“Right, stay safe and stay hidden.” Reiner sighs. “Heaven knows, we don’t need any more casualties.”

I jump to my feet and swing through the town, jumping across building to building.

“Where are you Marco?” I mutter desperately.

I feel a tug at my wires, as if someone wanted to pull me down.

And then…

A crash.

I fall to the ground.

The entire world shakes violently and I feel a sharp pain in my thigh. When I twist my body to get a better look my right trouser leg is soaked in blood, I try to put weight on it I feel the jagged pain all over again.

“No!” I breath in panic.

Every part of the world around me rings and I look around anxiously for what could have injured me. I know full well that it was definitely a titan attack, but the question is; where?

The buildings around me aren’t very sturdy. Glass rains down on me as I hear large footsteps grow louder.

I cover my head in an attempt to shield myself from the shards, crouched on the ground and waited for what was to come next, and sure enough; it came.

Around the corner, strides a ten-metre titan, it’s mouth is twisted into a twisted grin. The titan’s appearance was nothing like I had seen before. A pale complexion and covered head to toe in burns. It eyes me up as if I were a banquet. Going by the way things are going, I think I just might be.

Unable to move, I sit and wait for the beast to approach me. is this my final hour?

[the-gayest-dump]

A half-orc and his ax. Chapter 1: Welcome to Warwick.

   It’s been a year since the death of the battleborn tribe. Ox was now 21 and had been living off of the land just as his mother had taught him. Kill and take only what you need, use every piece of your kill, never kill the women or children, and always replace what you take when you can. 

   The half-orc was seven feet of muscular and scarred gray skin now wearing an iron helmet that covered his entire head but his eyes and jaw. The helmet had a cut on the left side from where Ox had knocked the former wearer down but it still served its purpose. He chose not to wear a shirt so he could move easier and show his enemies that this was not his first battle. The only thing that covered his back was his father’s ax that fit into a holster that slung through his arms like a travelers’ backpack and let the ax stay on his back. The ax had a dark green blade with blades on both the left and right side so its owner could cut in any direction necessary and a long handle for two hands. Third-degree burns went around his arms and several scars from cuts too deep to heal covered his chest and back. He knew the story and face of every scar and who caused it for he was proud to have fought a worthy opponent. His pants were made of simple brown wool that reached his black leather boots that were from his father.

   The brute had been surviving well off of the land but he could not do everything himself. He was a warrior, not a medic or priest. He knew of simple remedies using the medicine the local flora provided but the wounds he was receiving were beginning to be too big for a novice healer to handle. He knew a town was nearby his camp for he set it up there on purpose to protect them if bandits ever attempted to raid them but Ox was not sure what would await him inside those gates. He was raised to know that all living beings are strong in their own way but what would they think of a battle-scarred warrior walking into their town? He had never been in a town and for all he knew he was a completely new creature that no one had ever seen before. How would they react to not only a warrior but a half-orc warrior? He decided to take a day to introduce himself to the town and hopefully make some allies.

   It was a bright and sunny day when Ox prepared for his journey into the city. It had rained the night before but now not a single cloud lingered. Ox put out his campfire after finishing the boar he had caught the day before and set out towards the town. A ten-foot-tall wall made out of cobblestone surrounded the town from basic intruders such as wildlife and bandits with no tools. Archers filled small towers every few feet to keep a lookout and provide support to fighting guards. Ox approached the large oak gate where he saw merchants enter frequently when two spears crossed together and blocked his path. He looked at the two guards wondering what they were doing as this had never happened for the merchants.

“You ain’t from around here big guy. State your business.” Stated the guard to his left. They were both outfitted in iron armor that covered their entire bodies with a single slit to see through on the helmets. The voice sounded deep and wise as an old veteran warrior.

“Business?” 

“Why do you wish to enter?” Clarified the other. This voice sounded lighter and calmer than the other. 

“Ox lives near town.” He said pointing to where he had set up camp for the night. “Ox wants to meet people and see how Ox can help.”

The guards looked at each other as if comparing notes with their eyes to tell if the other trusted him or not. 

“If work is what you’re looking for there’s a notice board in the central plaza. Don’t cause any trouble and there won’t be any trouble. Got it?” 

“Plaza?”

The left guard sighed as the right clarified again “Big open area in the center of down. Keep going forward from this gate and you’ll see it. Welcome to Warwick”

Ox nodded as the guards removed their spears and the gate opened. As he entered he could hear the guards whisper

“Not too bright that one is he?” Said the man that was to his left.

“Like you can talk. Last night you couldn’t remember your husband’s name and you’ve been together for 5 years now.” replied the girl.

“That’s different. You know how I am with too much mead. That ones completely sober and doesn’t seem to know how a pronoun works!”

“Yeah, and Joseph is a hard name to remember, right old man?”

“This is why we never talk on duty.”

   Not the best but certainly not the worst way Ox had been greeted before. Inside the gates, the town had simple worn down dirt paths showing the most common routes to all of the homes and stores which were made primarily of wood with strong oak doors. Pine and oak trees could be seen surrounding the outside walls and signs jotted out of every building that was not a home telling what they were. Most of these words Ox had never seen before. Temple? Witches cauldron? Leatherworkers? He would have to explore these after finding the notice board. The streets were almost empty aside from smaller vendors shouting for attention. 

   Following the guards’ directions, Ox found the notice board that seemed to be made of parchment more than wood with several notices covering older ones. Most of the notices were from the town guards about festival times or public notices with some bounties here and there. Some notices, despite being hidden underneath several others, caught the brute’s eye. One said “Please save our little girl” and showed a crude drawing of a half-elf girl that looked to be in her teens and immediately beside it “WANTED: Alasar “Deaths Hand” Yanthor. Dead or alive”. With another drawing showing a middle-aged….creature that was certainly not any race he had ever seen. Scales covered the man’s face as if he was an overgrown lizard with a large maniacal smile showing that sharp carnivorous teeth filled his mouth while piercing eyes seemed to scream “Catch me if you can”. Both were posted near the same date but had been on the board for weeks. Ox took both of them off the board and followed the address listed if interested. 

   The directions brought Ox to a two-story building made of cobblestone with a sign coming out of the wall that said “Armory”. An area next to the door had been cut out to let citizens watch the guards train or talk to the person at the desk inside the armory. A girl with dark brown hair raised into a small ponytail was currently behind the desk wearing the same armor as the gate guards but had taken off the helmet for comfort and visibility. She was mumbling to herself as Ox approached saying “Can’t believe those fuckers gave me desk duty again. You break ONE man’s arm and-.” She stopped when she noticed Ox standing awkwardly beside the desk waiting for her to finish as not to be rude. With a very noticeable fake cheery voice, she introduced herself 

“Well hello there!” The fake cheer annoyed Ox more than it should have but he let her continue “My name is Opal and I’ll be answering any questions you have today.” She finished with a smile that seemed like it physically hurt her to put on as the warrior put the notices down in front of her 

“Where find family and bastard?” He explained pointing at the daughter and bandit respectively.

“First of all let me speak on behalf of the city of Warwick by thanking you for-”

“Stop.” Ox interrupted.

“Stop?”

“No fake voice, no smile. Ox will not tell others. Just be self.” He tried giving a reassuring smile that just seemed weird to her but she got the point. 

“Oh thank Marisol I hate putting on that persona for the people!” she exclaimed in a much lower and natural-sounding voice. “I shouldn’t have to sound like a merchant trying to sell some garbage she paid too much for and has to make a profit to people. I’m a guard! I’m supposed to sound tough to show people they’re safe!” she sighed and collected herself before continuing 

“Sorry. Long day. Anyway, the Gray household is next to the leatherworkers. They can tell you about the kidnapping and this-” She stopped upon seeing the wanted poster and leaned back in her wooden chair to get a better look at the new person in town. “I haven’t seen you here before” she stated looking at the ax and scars on Ox “You’re clearly no trainee with that many stories to tell on you. What’s your game? Bounty hunter? Sellsword? A knight that lost his armor?” 

Ox looked more and more confused with each suggestion. Were these clan names? The last one seemed too long to be a clan but that was all he could think of.

“Battleborn” he replied hoping he guessed correctly.

“The fuck is a battleborn? That the name of your group?”

“Clan.”

“What’s your code of arms?” 

Instead of answering he tried to change the subject so more strange words wouldn’t come out of her mouth “Why does angry one care?”

“These are high-level bounties you’re picking up here. Both related to each other and I don’t want to send some newbie to his death. This isn’t some kid who ran away from home and made a band of idiots serve him. This is a dragonborn who’ll roast you without any pleasantries.”

“Dragonborn?”

“Person with a high amount of dragon in their blood. Not a direct descendant but enough to gain some benefits from his bloodline. Elemental breath of whatever their ancestor likes, sharp claws, natural scales, and usually a massive ego.”

“Ox can take scaley man down a size. Where is bastard?”

“Alright. Don’t come crying to me when those burns on your arm start adding up. If you go out the north gate and follow the road you’ll see an old fort. That’s where he is and presumably where he’s keeping the girl. Come back here with his head and the girl as proof and you’ll get some gold for your trouble. Don’t come back and I’ll mention how strange you look in some stories at the tavern.” 

“Thank you. Ox will be back tomorrow”

“I look forward to it.”

   Finding the Gray household wasn’t as easy as the armory since all houses were nearly identical in structure and materials but eventually Ox found the correct house and lightly knocked on the door. He had to crouch down so his face could be seen through the door since this town was obviously not built for anyone above 6ft tall. A small woman with dark wrinkly skin and medium length straight gray hair answered the door as she was talking to someone 

“I promise I’ll remember the peaches this time dear I’ve even written it on my- AHHH!” She let out a horrid scream upon seeing Ox in her doorway and he grabbed his ax and looked for who had frightened her. She slammed the door as he continued searching and she screamed “Guard! Guards how the hell did a bandit get in the city!?” 

Not finding anyone that matched her description and all nearby eyes being on Ox he finally realized he was the ‘bandit’ in question and knocked on the door again “Ox is not a bandit. Ox wants to help wi-”

“You can help yourself to a big slice of burn in hell! Was taking our daughter not enough for you fuckers!? You want to come and finish us off now!?” 

Since the house was close to the gate one of the guards for it came rushing over to the disturbance “Hey there again big guy. Find everything alright? Sorry about my friend. He’s just cranky all the time.”

Ox wondered how she could be so calm when someone was calling for her to take off his head but nodded and showed her the notices he had taken.

“Can’t wait to see those done. Oh and don’t worry about Mrs. Gray. She scares easily. Having her think you’re a bandit that got a hold of guard armor is practically a part of your initiation here. Sorry for not warning you about her”

“Ox is sorry to scare her. Can scared one please calm down?” He said sounding sad for disturbing this woman.

“Yeah hold on.” the guard went up and knocked loudly on the door and screamed in “Mrs. Gray there’s no bandits for the thousandth time this month! This here is a new person who wants to help ya find your daughter and kill Alasar!” 

“Well, why didn’t he speak up or at least put on a damn shirt!? Not right walking around civilized folk like you just crawled out of a cave!” she said as she opened the door again. Ox looked at himself and thought ‘Ox not from cave…..’ as she invited him to crouch inside. 

   The home was rather small with the kitchen and living room only separated by kitchen counters and three closed doors along the walls. The living room had a few chairs and a table with a bottom compartment that held various tools for hobbies such as sewing and woodworking kits. Ox took a seat as he waited for details.

“Honey! Another one wants to disappoint us today!” Mrs. Gray called out. Another elderly woman with a lighter skin tone and hair kept in a bun came out “I told you time and time again if you keep talking like that no one’s going to ever volunteer again.” She looked at Ox with a smile and held out her hand “Stella Gray. A pleasure to meet you.”

“Ox. Ox knows-” 

“Yeah, you know everything we put on that notice. She was taken late at night while trying to find local ingredients to cook with when bandits nabbed her. Guards told you where the fort is. Now get going” 

   Stella silently glared at her partner before she corrected herself with a sigh “Look. I’m sorry. You’re probably a swell fellow and you’re very skilled and offering to help from the bottom of your heart but I’m just tired. Our little girl has been gone for weeks and every week some brave young adventuring type swears on their life they’ll get Sylis back and the next day either their corpse turns up at the gate or they come back with a bunch of excuses about how tough they are and they couldn’t do anything and blah, blah, blah.” She put her head in her hands and sighed again as Stella continued

“Sylis isn’t our daughter through blood as you can probably tell from the picture. We found her lost in the woods outside town and tried to find her parents. The guards found them but not in any kind of state a little girl should be hearing her parents are in. We tried finding someone to take her in since we thought ourselves too old to be caring for younglings but no one would have her and treat her right. We don’t know why bandits would take her of all people from this town. We’re not wealthy by any means so we can’t pay any ransom even if we did receive one.”

“Ox will not bore wise ones with Ox’s skills since wise ones have heard skills before but Ox will try to bring little one home safe and take bastards head with.”

“Well, we look forward to it if you can. I wish I could offer you more information or something to help you but that’s all we know. May Marisol light your way.” They both waved goodbye to Ox as he left the city gates and once again heard the guards talking behind him.

“You think he’s gonna make it?”

“You ever seen someone that big before old man? He can definitely take Alasar one on one but I don’t know about his entire camp.”

“50 gold says we find his corpse at the gate next shift”

“You really wanna lose your gold that bad? Deal.”

‘At least someone believes in Ox’ he thought. They will know that Ox does not break promises, especially concerning the death of bandits, in due time.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 139: Deku and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Hallway

Previously on BnHA: The cops and Nighteye’s pro hero group took about nine pages to approach Overhaul’s house, only to be stopped by some massive troll of a man before they could ring the bell at the front gate. Everyone was all, “HOW DID THEY KNOW WE WERE COMING?” while ignoring the fact that there were like 70 guys all conspicuously gathered outside this place for like an hour prior to them getting started. Ryuukyuu turned into a dragon and I wanted it to be like this, but so far all she really did was hold the guy down with one of her big dragon claws. Which to be fair was still pretty cool. So she and her group are staying outside to deal with the cave troll while the rest of the heroes head on in. Meanwhile in the secret underground labyrinth beneath the house, Overhaul plotted to have his underlings stall the heroes while he made his getaway. And this is why you don’t ring the fucking doorbell before invading a mafia capo’s house. Just FYI.

Today on BnHA: The heroes finally make it inside the house! So thrilling. Nighteye uncovers a secret passage, and the heroes proceed down below. After smashing their way through a blocked wall, they discover a hallway doing its best impression of that Salvador Dali clock painting. This apparently is the work of one of Overhaul’s henchmen, Mimic, whose quirk allows him to enter objects and control them. Apparently he shot himself up with some Trigger and became a “living labyrinth.” Since Mirio is the only one not physically deterred by this, he activates his quirk and runs ahead before the others can stop him. The rest of the group suddenly falls into a big hole that opens up beneath their feet, landing in a room with three more henchmen. The pros get ready to fight, but Amajiki holds out a hand to stop them, saying he’ll be the one to take them down.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 171 now, so any ETAs will reflect that. My son the musical prodigy.) 

okay, time to get back on this. some holdover thoughts from the previous chapter since I’ve had a couple days to reflect on it:

why the hell didn’t everyone wear kevlar or some shit. you know you’re going up against enemies that will be shooting at you, and if they hit you you’ll lose your quirk. it blows my mind that the pros didn’t suit up with extra body armor knowing this

even worse, because of the way the house is designed, they’re basically going to be sitting ducks. they only know one way in and out of the lower levels of the house. seeing as it’s underground, that means lots of long, narrow tunnels and hallways. they’re in just about the worst strategic position they could be for a raid like this: the enemy knows they’re here, and unlike Nighteye’s team, they actually know their way around the hideout. meanwhile the raid team is inevitably going to either have to split up and get themselves lost, or stick to this stupid plan of taking the most direct route possible to get to Eri, and meanwhile have bad guys shooting quirk-destroying bullets at them the entire way

that being said, they should stick Kirishima out in front and use him as a human shield lol

(ETA: to be fair, the only one that actually ends up getting hit is another one who is normally for all intents and purposes bulletproof. and in his case kevlar wouldn’t have done jack shit because he would have ended up shedding the vest anyway due to his quirk. so fair enough, but the others should have still geared up. no one cares about safety huh)

all right. so let’s see just how screwed these guys actually are

okay so we’re opening with the mafia dudes demanding to know what’s going on, and the cops explaining that this is a raid suckas

the lower level pros are holding the mob guys back while the cooler pros go on ahead

FG’s apologizing for not stopping to take off his shoes since this is an urgent situation. how fucking rude. tracking in all that dirt

oh my god

fucking kidding me with this shit. Bubble Girl in the lead? she barely even has a shirt, let alone any type of armor? is her quirk defensive in any way? let’s hope so

is Nighteye’s quirk even active again yet? right now he’s just a guy in a suit, isn’t he? although he did work with All Might for years, so he probably does have wicked combat skills that we just haven’t seen yet. hopefully

(ETA: wicked combat skills and a six-pack)

I can’t even see Kirishima in this shot. jeez. ridiculous

so as they run, they’re all discussing how the bad guys seem to have known they were coming, and that this is Not Good

I don’t really care about what Aizawa is saying in this panel, but I like that he’s right next to Deku

taking that promise very seriously. well good, since we all know that literally the instant Aizawa lets him out of his sight, Deku is somehow going to end up facing the final boss or something

(ETA: fucking uncanny, though. every fucking time, Deku)

anyway, so they’re logically concluding that Overhaul and the top brass must already be in the basement either hiding all their shit or getting ready to escape

this makes Kirishima very angry

well yeah, Kiri. but bad guys gonna bad guy

still, if it gets you fired up, you go ahead and feel that righteous anger boy

and now Nighteye’s stopping at a random panel in the wall and says this is it

oh, cool

please be a secret door please be a secret door please be a secret dooooor...

yay!

oh shit lol

never mind. close it

ughhhhhhh the centipede guy is using his quirk nooo whyyyy

he’s picking up two of the guys with his centipede arms

to me this is a fate worse than death

WHYYYYY

now Bubble Girl’s using her bubble quirk!

she’s... making bubbles. from her body

they’re floating over to the last bad guy

and they popped in his eyes and he’s screaming “my eyes!!!”

are these... are these just normal bubbles

I don’t really get it but hey! at least it’s not centipede arms!

so she’s restraining the dude and telling the others to go on ahead

and down they go. off to the garden of madness

except that almost immediately they’ve come to a dead end??

this doesn’t look like a normal quirk though. maybe someone has a wall-building quirk? similar to what Cementoss has?

(ETA: this is most definitely Overhaul’s reassembly quirk)

anyway, Mirio says he’ll take a look

oh my god. I finally get to see just how Mirio deals with immediately shedding his elaborate costume and then having to put the whole thing back on again later

oh snap

WELL ISN’T THAT FUCKING CONVENIENT. OKAY THEN

so if Mirio can have a costume that phases with his quirk, why can’t Hagakure have one woven out of her hair that turns invisible along with her? is it just because Horikoshi is a pervert. okay then

(ETA: I’m not even gonna bother getting into this anymore, but just know that I am rolling my eyes at this obnoxious fucking mangaka so damn hard)

anyway, so Mirio’s taking a peek and then reporting back that the path up ahead is exactly like Nighteye described. he says the wall is very thick though

oh, riiiiight

I keep forgetting about the “reassemble” part of Overhaul’s quirk

oh well. time to bust a wall

lol, FG and Static are like, “whoa”

I think this is the first nice thing Static has said about any of the kids

oh shit. now there’s something else happening

the floor is getting all weird and uneven? like it’s getting all warped somehow

um

well this is. annoying

(ETA: actually, “annoying” is the mildest, nicest, most undeservedly polite way possible to put it)

my god I hope none of them is claustrophobic. or ends up being claustrophobic after this, because I sure wouldn’t blame them

the head police guy says this has to be Irinaka’s quirk. that’s the HQ chief

so wait, is that the little guy from chapter 132 who made an arm grow out of his head??

and it doesn’t even sound like they’re sure it’s him

although FG points out that if he got all doped up on quirk enhancers, this isn’t outside the realm of possibility

oh snap! it is him!

oh my god. “I’m not on the ship. I’m in the ship. I am the ship”

LMAO at Fat Gum though

what kind of pathetic excuse for a pro hero can’t even predict that a guy is going to turn into a basement

he’s asking Aizawa if he can erase the quirk, but Aizawa says he can’t without being able to see the quirk users’s body

hold up, does this mean illusionists would be immune to Aizawa’s quirk?? because that is some bullshit. (which I now really want to see)

Amajiki seems like he’s starting to psych himself out here. he’s muttering out loud that if the path keeps changing, they’ll never reach their goal, and the enemy can easily get away

oh shit, it seems like he’s starting to get overwhelmed...?

hey, hey. easy there bud. you guys got this

OH SNAP MIRIO TO THE RESCUE

what a manly dude coming to the rescue of his bro who was starting to freak out. I love Mirio so much

ahhhhhhh he says he can still go on ahead as long as he knows the right direction

ahhhhhhhh I’m suddenly so fucking worried?!?! HE’S SO BRAVE AND I’M TERRIFIED FOR HIM

SON OF A BITCH HE JUST TOOK OFF JUST LIKE THAT BEFORE THEY COULD STOP HIM

oh my god. in the first place, isn’t he blind whenever he uses his quirk? don’t all of his senses disappear? so he can keep pressing forward, but like what happens if he turns the quirk off because he thinks he’s made it through, only he hasn’t made it through? because this isn’t an illusion, as far as I understand it; the Mimic guy is actually warping the passageway

oh my god. forget just the characters; I’m going to end up becoming claustrophobic at this rate

(ETA: yeah this still nopes me out thinking about it. Mirio’s definitely braver than I am, that’s for sure)

but at the very least, Mirio bravely pressing forward seems to have snapped Amajiki out of it

hey guys, guess who ships the shit out of these two now btw. yeah that’s right. me that’s who

so Mimic is thinking that he can’t stop Mirio, but that even if he does make it through, “he won’t be able to do a thing by himself”

idk about that. you should’ve seen what this freak of nature did to almost the entirety of class 1-A in a matter of seconds. while naked no less

wait. this is starting to sound a bit eyebrow-raising. I promise you it was a g-rated beatdown though

oh snap, Mimic is warping the ground and dumping all of the important characters deeper into the basement while closing up the path back up

well that’s nice. so now they’re all sealed up in this death chamber. cool. that’s cool

not that I want it to happen, but a part of me is wondering why Mimic hasn’t just crushed them all yet if he has control over this entire basement

so are they purposely trying to keep them alive? is it to avoid as much legal trouble as possible? are they hoping that if they just incapacitate them, Overhaul can later use his quirk to wipe their memories like he did with that Tarantino gang?

incidentally, every now and then I wonder to myself why someone as intensely rational as Aizawa would keep his hair so long and not just cut it short or tie it back to keep it out of his way. and then panels like this come along and it’s just, “oh yeah, because it’s hot”

(ETA: but ain’t it the truth)

so yeah, they’ve landed in this pit and now here’s some more bad guys!

literally all they have to do is have Aizawa incapacitate them with his quirk one by one and have Deku or Kiri punch them. the rest can sit back and take it easy

(ETA: the fact that they refuse to follow this most sensible of plans throughout the entire arc is one of the more frustrating things about it)

oh snap, but it looks like someone else is finally ready to jump into action after seeing his boyfriend disappear down the enchanted hallway of doom

WELL SHIT, LET’S FUCKING DO THIS THEN. TIME TO EAT SOME SUNS

also. that flashback panel though. that was a middle school uniform. these two have known each other since childhood just like Kacchan and Deku. omggggg

AND MIRIO USED TO HAVE A FUCKING PONYTAIL. TALK ABOUT A 180 DEGREE STYLE CHANGE. NIGHTEYE THIS IS YOUR DOING, DON’T LIE

BONUS:

glad to see the minds that brought us the yaoyorictionary and ochachakaleg are back at it again

so what exactly is the point of the lemilliohelm. I don’t get it. “it was designed so he could put it on quickly and then inevitably have it fall off again almost immediately”

consider my interest piqued at the mention of him being rescued by a hero in the past, though! I went back just now and looked at his flashback in chapter 152, and yeah! now that you mention it!

also! BnHA kids really need to be more careful on flashback bridges because those things are slippery as fuck

so can we get a name for this guy who saved him and inspired him to become a hero, then? I’m super curious about him now

[homespun-stories]

No Place Like Home

By the time I turned 35, I had put my key in the front doors of some 20 different places I had called home, in eight cities across four countries. One year, I moved home four times in six months. When I talk to my friends, I realise that these numbers are not that unusual. Moving home, through choice or circumstance, is how we move through life. But how many of those doors opened into places that felt like home? Half, maybe? Less, if I'm honest.

When we’re asked about home, we usually talk about where we live. The simple matter of our residence is doled out according to the functional parts of our  dwelling—size, location, whether we need to redo the bathroom, the noise level of our neighbours, etc etc. But where our heart resides is something else entirely; it’s where we experience a handful of deeply grounding emotions, like belonging and security. 

Home, then, is only partly about the bricks and mortar that house us and more often about the place where we are most able to feel like ourselves. I have come to learn, often the hard way, that where we live and where we feel at home can be two or more different places.

I started writing a collection of stories about life at home during the Spring of 2020 when the world tipped upside down in the first throes of the Covid-19 pandemic. As shelter-in-place restrictions were implemented, overwhelming numbers of us were faced with the practical limits of being confined to a single space that needed to do and be everything for everyone. My life had already been upended thanks to the early arrival of my first baby just weeks before, so my own home was reeling from the one-two punch of a screaming newborn inside and a deadly airborne virus outside. After clawing my way out of the front door with a wailing baby for the same walk around the same park every day, I'd wearily traipse back to my flat muttering a sing-song reprieve from a lullaby—home, home / time to go home—as much an acknowledgement to myself as comfort to my daughter. Writing these stories was a way of rooting myself in the consistent and unshakeable truths about home, even whilst we lived through raging uncertainty. They reminded me that my life at home has weathered many storms, but the door always opened to sunny skies once again. It was how I got a grip on my new feelings about the space around me, and understood why so many of my friends were reeling from what was playing out within their own four walls.

As the months under lockdown went by, I wrote my way through a number of inflexion points in my life—all through the lens of the various places I was living in at the time. When I think back to the homes I've had over the past three or so decades, I see refracted images of the person I am today. Each act of homemaking was one part of my becoming—every version of myself was unpacked and lived in a little better than before. In the Summer of 2015, I pulled the roots up of my life in London and replanted them in Copenhagen, with my husband. It was the first time I had moved away from the UK without intending to move back again. I had no connection to this part of the world—no friends, no family, no job waiting there for me. And yet, it felt like a homecoming, as if I was finally able to get all the pieces of myself out of various moving boxes. In truth, it triggered a long-overdue reckoning of why I've moved so often and the hard but necessary unpacking of the last moving box that exists in one's heart. The box that contains the things you need deep within you but cannot easily find a home for.

There’s a certain inevitability about moving to a part of the world where hygge was invented, that even the most undomesticated beasts will turn into house proud kittens. But my obsession with the feeling of home has been fed and watered thanks to my work at IKEA. This iconic and meme-worthy brand is undoubtedly well known for its flatpack furniture, meatballs and all-terrain blue bags, but it’s also home to one of the largest and most comprehensive pieces of research into how people live all over the world. I have steered the IKEA Life at Home Report since 2017, connecting with all kinds of people in all kinds of homes. Through this, I have seen for myself the elemental connection between life at home and life at large, whether you live in a Tudorbethan mansion in Sydney or a houseboat in Denmark. It is how I have come to learn quite how many people (one in three, in fact) say they feel sad, lonely, anxious, insecure or just generally out of place at home. Those same people quietly living in spaces and places like yours and mine; homes that just about meet their functional needs but abjectly fail to meet their emotional ones. I know what this looks like from the research, but—far more importantly—I know what this feels like from experience. And I know what most people do: we normalise it. We twist our needs and expectations to fit whatever space we’re in, no matter how miserable it makes us, and get on with life. If a friend confided in you that their partner made them feel that way, you would tell them to leave. Immediately.

No wonder then that the very notion of homemaking bears all the hallmarks of relationship building. Sure, you can fall for the look of a place at first glance, but only time will tell if you feel at home there. When life at home is great, as it so often can be, it has us reaching for words that evoke the ardour of love. We'll talk about the give and take that passes between people and place, on which our sense of self and stability take root. So when I read my stories back, I realised that whilst I’d been writing about the different homes I had lived in since I was a little girl, I’d actually been writing about the different kinds of relationships I’d had with them—romantic, platonic, professional, ideological. They revealed a sort of essential truth to the spaces and places we occupy, the people and things we live with, and the emotions we're reaching for to truly feel at home. For what is our connection to home, if it is not one of the most meaningful relationships we have in our lives?

And just like relationships, I can’t help but think that if we all talked more about how we really feel, we might be able to change a few things—even the big and hard things that feel out of reach. So I hope my stories contribute to that conversation. And I hope they help those of you who are still trying to unpack that very last moving box, finally find a home for everything.